thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

ok i like rushed through the whole orv webtoon way too fast so now i have thoughts going in like 5 different directions but ep121-123 drive me so fucking insane actually. every time i think about those two conversations i have to sit down

man. remember when i was like 15 and my blog thesis was "repeatedly denying that obviously abusive behaviors are abusive bc the abuser is mentally ill and saying it's ableist to call it what it is is probably a bad take to have fiction or not bc u internalize that shit and it could make ur or other ppl not able to see that theyre being victimized" And remember when i was 16 and started dating my ex and was still actively engaging in that discourse hearing that rhetoric every single day so when my ex started being straight up awful towards me i was like Well shes mentally ill so it should be okay right like i'm probably just being ableist And then i stayed in that relationship fgor twice as long as i wouldve if i hadnt been absorbing that shit like a mentally ill sponge. sort of vindicating in retrospect if i look past how deeply infuriating it is. i was fucking right the whole time my ex didnt even have to gaslight me i had anonymous asks on tumblr dot com doing that

Have you got any specific hcs about queen and spamton?

I have a few as someone who is obsessed with the story of the cyber world before we get there in-game.

Most mansion guests are invited by Queen after their success is seen or she becomes interested in them. Spamton was unique in that he actually pitched himself and bigshot autos to her

She was of course intrigued by this overzealous barely 5-foot ad she never ever heard of and was like "LMAO Let's See What You Got."

Queen quickly grew fond of how bumbling but determined Spamton was, kinda like a Cosmo and Wanda-esque relationship (both dummies but in different departments)

Spamton wanted to prove he could sell to anyone even the Queen herself and was shocked she actually let him in. Thought she was gonna be more strict only to see her put on wheelies and fall face first into a plate of spaghetti code.

Immediately knew there was no way to fuck this up and kinda got a crush.

Spamton and Queen weren't a thing in the traditional sense, more so buddies that were odd and didn't question each other's oddness so they got along really well

Like if Spamton asked if a shopping cart could make it across the battery acid pool with them in it Queen wouldn't think twice before ordering a cart and having the Swatchlings set a ramp

Of course, there was a rumor on what they did on private meeting nights or if the gifts they exchanged were because of profits and honor the Queen or y'know...

Drinking buddies, Spamton has a surprising tolerance for his short stature and the Queen loves any excuse to pour a big glass of battery acid.

Spamton let her vent to him. It was rare someone backed up her feelings of not liking her position and Spam of course could understand and console her

Liked to take her on rides in his Cungadero and Queen liked how average it felt like she related to her citizens more. It was a normal night on the town with someone who knew it and truly lived as a cyber citizen. She liked getting stuck in traffic with him or him almost hitting another car. She felt vulnerable and not completely implacable but not unsecured. He liked that he was finally meeting someone's expectations.

I feel like the Queen was aware of him being off as an ad but she enjoys that part of him. Like it makes her feel like she's succeeding as a Queen when even the off-citizens can prosper

Was not aware of the phone and just thought Spamton had a finicky client thought she should've asked more questions when his downfall came

Honestly, he was more like her blorbo than anything else

Like dude could get away with a lot but he never pushed his luck

She was his girl boss slay queen u_u,

If she asked he would make a car model that's whole purpose was just to blow up despite that being awful for profits

When she had to kick him out, she offered a temporary apartment or condition to let him stay if he wanted to be something more mundane. For reasons, he wouldn't explain he declined

She lets Swatch sell the bowties cause she can't seem to justify completely erasing him from the mansion.

She also kept a pipis but you'll be hard-pressed to find where.

Spam doesn't rip the poster by his dumpster completely off cause he considers it the only official picture they had taken together

To be honest I ship and don't ship them. Like they weren't in love but they were two objectively weird people who think alike but have completely different backstories on to why. They could be open and be themselves around each other even if there were things they couldn't share with each other. It was more like those two weirdly intimate friends who everyone thought were a thing only for you to ask and they both fake vomit about it. They still joke about the idea.

The virgin ""Elizabeth is a spoiled brat manipulative bitch evil mastermind"" vs the chad "Elizabeth did bad things and was manipulative but can we also stop pretending that she's this very evil mastermind"

nah bc i love how b*lly apologists never even talk about b*lly being racist theyll talk all day about him being a victim of abuse (oh him continuing the cycle of abuse, unlike jonathan? oh him being abusive towards max? yeah idk where you heard that... certainly not canon..) and they wont even mention him being racist. they know its a losing battle

yucky now from so much thinking about b*lly :(((

ANNA KARINA rehearses for her jukebox dance scene in VIVRE SA VIE (1962)

Shortly after Anna Karina’s contract [for Le Petit Soldat] was signed, Godard placed a two-page handwritten ad in La Cinématographie française. It read: “Jean-Luc Godard, who has completed Breathless and is preparing Le Petit Soldat, seeks young woman between 18 and 27 to [be] both his actress and his friend.” The effect of this stunt was to make Anna's casting appear to be the result of Anna having slept with the director. Karina was furious at what she considered a humiliating insinuation and returned to the casting office in tears, ready to repudiate the contract and face the consequences. The next day, Godard sent her a telegram making reference to her Danish nationality: "A character from Hans Christian Andersen has no right to cry.’ She ignored the telegram. Karina recalled, “He invited me to a screening of Breathless. I didn’t like it at all. Then we had dinner together. None of this appealed to me in the least. I was suspicious of him." - Richard Brody, Everything Is Cinema: The Working Life of Jean-Luc Godard

sorry im a god gale truther btw i DO think he should get to usurp mystra and ascend to godhood and i do think that should be an absolutely awful thing to happen to him but also literally everyone else. sorry

Betrayal for the not-so-nice asks?

betrayal: Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them?

Oooh so i sort’ve answered that already but I’ll go a little into Panam’s “betrayal”. When they first meet, V thinks he’s found a sort of kin in a fellow ex-nomad, until he realizes that Panam’s ex status is more akin to a studio sitcom where a kid packs a suitcase and only makes it as far as down the street; still, he’s got this yearning for this idea of family, this things he’s never quite experienced, especially the way Panam can just go back home and it’s still home for her. The betrayal happens in a scene in my one-day-will-be-finished long fic where eventually the rest of the Aldecaldos (idk if anyone else has noticed, but other than Panam’s close band of friends, most of them… don’t really like V the majority of the quest line. Lots of snarky comments as you’re passing through camp. Add in his origin story, well. Honestly it makes sense they don’t trust him) vote to ban him entirely because they believe he may be a double agent similar to Nash with the uptick in raffen raids. (This is especially double-edged bc my V, when he finds the notes from Nash in the Wraith camp, decides to give it to her instead of tossing it like Johnny tells him to. She thanks him and trusts him more because of the gesture, but she obviously confides to her close family like Mitch and Carol about Nash’s betrayal and they don’t exactly hang out w V in the same capacity she does to not think he wouldn’t do the same.)

Tysm! :> ( not-so-nice OC asks )

it's always so weird to me when people discuss how Spuffy played out in S6 as if Spike were the only abusive one in that relationship.

He was abusive. But Buffy was also extremely abusive towards him too.

And while Spike only really knew abusive relationships anymore (Dru, Angelus... and now Buffy), Buffy knew that a relationship should be better than what they had - healthier. But she blamed Spike for being a monster when she was acting monstrous too. And while Buffy did the right thing by getting out of that relationship and is absolutely not to blame for Spike assaulting her in the bathroom...

That scene is the narrative end result of a relationship where it was firmly established as much by Buffy as by Spike that 'no' didn't mean 'no'.

It's a fascinating, if horrifying, look at how abusive relationships can be mutually abusive. And also why safe words and discussions about consent are really important.

But if you're ignoring the fact that Buffy was a perpetrator of abuse as well as a victim of it, then you're missing out on half the conversation about the season from the get go.

one thing i was not prepared for when i started this rewatch of sdmi has been for it to finally sink in how absolutely heartbreaking daphne's whole deal is. this poor kid, man

.

lestat tapping into his inner toni collette with that “I am your maker!”

I love bullying dbh fans who hate North. Imagine the severe misogyny it takes to hate a female character who is justifiably angry at humans who abused her constantly. Couldn't be me <3

Armand in the latter third of the vampire armand is so fucking interesting. He was like, lestat is my brambling, laughing friend. He's like a brother to me. He's deeply and excruciatingly annoying. If anybody disrespects lestat's personhood, im about to start mauling. i will tear a bitch apart for Lestat. i will lie my own life down for him. Armand drank from lestat and saw a vision of Christ and later said that Christ was like a brother to him, that Christ was a human man just as he Armand is a human man. He said Christ's an extension of his own self, a mirror holding up to his own face, and it just sounds like Armand was really talking about lestat. Lestat is the focal point through which Armand learns, unsteadily and messily, to finally become a person himself. Armand's love for lestat feels like self-love. This demonic messed-up kid, he's healing through lestat, and I'm so obsessed with this fucking shit.

"what do you know about drinking" "what do you know about smoking" "what do you know about weed" "what do you know about drugs" you do not know me or my life!!!!!!