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#he wants a refund
green-eyedfirework · 17 days
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It started with the Morino contract.
No.  That was a lie.  It really started—not really really, that was the time Nightwing leaned up when Slade was pinning him to the wall and grinned, soft and slow and wicked, and Slade had growled don’t be a tease and Nightwing murmured who said I’m teasing and Slade had half-thought it was a trap, but no, apparently Nightwing’s taste in people that could overpower him ran to villains too—with a lazy morning in Dick’s apartment in Bludhaven.
Slade had been making breakfast, idly watching Dick walk around in a too-big shirt and nothing else, when Dick had gotten a phone call.  The lazy mornings were...he didn’t want to say content, but after the third time Dick asked him to stay for breakfast, blue eyes sleepy but bright, and clarified that he wasn’t making it a Thing, Jesus Christ, Slade, I’m not trapping you into a promise ring, it’s just food—they were peaceful.  The kid wasn’t a half-bad cook, he definitely didn’t believe in covering clothes, and sometimes Slade even got another fuck before he headed out.
Dick ended his phone call and came back into the kitchen, giving him a wry smile.  “You’re going to have to leave.  B will be here in ten minutes.”
Slade raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at the cooking hashbrown.
“Don’t be a baby, you can make some more.  Or just buy some.”  Dick had grabbed his arm and was tugging him out of the kitchen.  “What you definitely don’t want is to still be here when Bruce shows up.”
Slade allowed himself to be pulled out, casting a last glance at his hashbrown.  “Don’t tell me you’re ashamed of me.”
“Ha.  There are several things that Bruce should never know, and that I’m fucking Deathstroke the Terminator is one of them.  Shoo.”
“Rude.”
“I’m sorry, do you want Batman on your ass?  No?  Then I’ll see you later, Slade.  And thanks for breakfast!”
“You’re a brat,” Slade collected his stuff—he hadn’t come to Bludhaven for business, so there was only one gun and a couple of knives to grab—and headed for the window.  “And I don’t know why I put up with you.”
“Because I’m flexible,” Dick grinned at him as he shimmied into a pair of leggings, as delightfully shameless as always, and Slade allowed himself one last look at that ass before leaving.
He didn’t understand the twisting feeling in his stomach.
Dick had done nothing wrong aside from stealing his breakfast, Slade had absolutely no desire to meet Batman, and Slade had just as unceremoniously kicked Dick out from his own safehouses.
It was nothing.  He was just hungry.  He hunted down food, and put it out of his head.
Until the Morino contract.
Slade didn’t usually take assassination contracts in Bludhaven—best not to rock that particular boat—but he’d followed Morino down from New York City, and he wasn’t going to wait for him to leave just to put a bullet in his head.  Besides, the way his luck went, Morino would end up fleeing to Gotham, and Slade was not dealing with the Bats.
The setup was easy—he took position, unpacked and assembled his rifle, waited.  And took the shot.
He was halfway through disassembly when he heard the whine of a grapple.
“You chased someone into my city,” Nightwing was stalking forward, all furious lines, “to kill them?!”
Slade made a show of glancing around.  “I don’t see your name on it,” he said dryly, palming his knives as he rose up.
“Real cute,” Nightwing snarled, slipping his escrima free.
“Next time I’ll take them outside city limits to spare your delicate sensibilities,” Slade drawled.
Nightwing growled and lunged, Slade met his attack, and the familiar motions of a fight began.  Just when Slade was starting to suspect that Nightwing was actually pissed and this fight wasn’t foreplay, Nightwing made an inarticulate sound and practically smashed their faces together, kissing Slade like he was trying to devour him.
That, Slade could get behind, and he let the niggling question go as he matched Nightwing’s intensity.
~#~
Slade slipped out before Dick woke up—not an unusual occurrence, but certainly rarer over the past few months—and told himself it was because he didn’t want to deal with Nightwing’s whining over Slade killing someone in his city.
~#~
It was a lot harder to excuse his avoidance of Bludhaven.  He rationalized it by saying he was giving Dick time to cool down—except Dick had made no indication of being angry after the fight, he’d cuddled up to Slade without only a sleepy yawn after the fuck, and Slade wasn’t sure why he was suddenly so uncertain with the state of their relationship.
They had sex.  Great sex.  Sleeping afterwards, well, that was just comfortable, and breakfast in the morning was a bonus.  Their respective jobs had never gotten in the way before—Dick hadn’t made any mention of ground rules outside of sex, didn’t care.  It was just sex.
He could almost see Wintergreen’s raised eyebrow when he kept passing up contracts on the Eastern Seaboard.
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I'm golden-child!Jason and not-even-a-silver-egg!Dick truther for life, and that's so funny.
Bruce is used to the chaos he calls his son, so when Jason actually behave, Bruce is soooo confused.
Like, what do you mean Bruce can tell him to not do something and Jason will??? Obey??? The order??? Dick would never.
Bruce, fully prepared for scandal: You are not allowed to jump from one wardrobe to another, it's dangerous for you.
Little Jason, who has no idea why he should: Ok? I wasn't planning to anyway.
Confused Bruce: You wasn't?
Little Jason who are scared to touch anything here, because it probably costs more than his life: I don't want to ruin the mansion...
More Confused Bruce: You don't?!
Or 
Bruce: so, you are saying that if I tell you to sit in your room and read books, you will really sit in your room and read books?
Little Jason, who has no idea why he shouldn't: Yeah?
Bruce, whispering to Alfred: I didn't know they could do that.
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shootingstarrfish · 6 months
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do u think beel does the evil hands before he eats
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localicecreambiter · 2 months
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lu got several and mina got some so i think its time i show @linked-maze the same love via doodle page! and in typical me fashion, its more words than art :D hope you love reading because the amount of notes i add is insane
thanks to the yellow background and pink outlines, coloring this was a little weird- those green pants? yeah thats brown :) the shoulder pad? pink (skull emoji) anywayyysss i hope you enjoy my goofy antics
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nelkcats · 1 year
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Family Traditions
The Mansons and the Waynes always had a...rocky relationship. Starting with Alfred facing off against Ida on the battlefield during his time in the British secret service. And cursing when the girl scurried out of his sight.
Although they no longer wanted to kill each other (maybe, they had children to take care of), their rivalry prevailed, and they could start fighting over anything. It was one of the reasons Ida attended to the Wayne Gala and only the Wayne gala. Just to upset the butler.
And this didn't just stay with them, Pamela HATED Bruce Wayne (and the feeling was mutual). They attended galas since they were kids and he was the most fucking annoying person she knew. She couldn't believe how he fooled everyone with "the playboy Brucie", he was obnoxious. And smarter than people gave him credit for. (Also, Pamela was pretty sure he was gay anyway)
Sam didn't want to follow this family tradition but when Damian Wayne tried to stab her with a cooking knife (after she kindly gave him an advice, taking responsibility as the eldest between them), the war begun, again.
Danny started attending those galas only to see things explode after being told this piece of information by Sam. The entire Manson family knew about it but the Waynes had no idea why the Masters heir was there. He even brought popcorn!
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sheriiam · 1 year
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People: maths is such a useless subject, if you ignore the basic additions, multiplications and stuff, maths isn't even relevant in real life.
Me: Bitch explain this.
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hatkuu · 6 months
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Telling Kylar that he's not my type so I don't want to date him and my type is violin players and so he shows up at my house and plays his violin.
HAHADJDRNDJ
he's literally showing up to the orphanage like:
"no. i AM your type pc."
*starts playing naruto intro outside your window to serenade you*
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innytoes · 9 months
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Dark fantasy AU?
-In hindsight, as he's being chased through the forest, hunted by mythical creatures is not where Reggie thought he'd end up when his folks told him they were moving to Los Angeles. Honestly, considering how he used to roam the woods and fields near his Meemaw's farm, the fact that he'd stumbled into a fairy circle near the beach was almost insulting.
-It's not even that he manages to outrun them. It's that one night (he thinks it's night, though time moves differently here and light and dark are all tangled up and is the purple haze of the sky supposed to be dusk or dawn or just a dark stop of the forest?) he'd decided to just... give up.
He couldn't remember how long he'd been running, running from the pounding of hooves and the yapping of dogs that did not look anything like what a dog should look like. He couldn't remember a time where he wasn't hungry, or thirsty, or tired, but something inside of him just kept making him run and run and run
-But he'd had enough. So he just sat down, with his back towards the noise, and hoped they'll kill him quickly. And to comfort himself, he sang the lullaby his Meemaw used to sing when he was scared of the thunder.
-That's what saved him. One of the fae, Caleb, was so charmed by the song that instead of doing whatever it is they did with their prey, he bundled Reggie up and took him to his... castle. Dwelling. Domain.
-He was dressed in finery and made to sing as Caleb and the other fae danced and ate and did things that Reggie very much had not wanted to see, thank you very much. But eventually, they slept, and Reggie met... the other humans who were trapped here.
-Luke, a young boy who had run away from home to become a musician in 1875. He was distraught to hear Reggie tell him it was the nineties now. Even more distraught when Reggie clarified it was the 1990s.
-There was Alex, who had been cast out of his village for reasons he did not want to share, but that Reggie figured out pretty quickly when he saw the way he looked at Willie. He'd fallen asleep near a fairy circle, and the promises he'd been made had been so tempting, he'd said yes before he fully understood the deal.
-And then there was Willie. The boy who had been stolen from his parents, a changeling left in his place. Who had grown up here, a part of this world yet not really. Who did not know what the other boys meant when they talked about years, or America, or really the whole concept of 'family'.
-Luke's the one who tells them of their escape plan. Alex is worried they can't trust Reggie not to rat him out to Caleb, and Reggie is like: um excuse me I was just hunted for sport for who knows how long you think I wanna help that guy?
-But before he can Willie just tilts his head and says: his heart is pure.
-Which is very sweet but also a little creepy.
-Anyway, they do manage to escape Caleb's clutches somehow, and end up back in the human world.
-Being yeeted out of a little ring of mushrooms in the soil of a plant Ray overwatered in the big plant wall of the Molina studio was not particularly pleasant, okay. Considering a real human should not be able to fit through that. But Willie explained that as soon as a fairy portal grew, it was only a manner of time that the fairies would notice it and stake it out to see what they could lure to their realm.
-Somehow, Luke and Alex get thrown clear across the room, Luke slamming against the door, Alex dropping onto the concrete floor.
-Reggie's not sure if him crashing against a pretty wooden piano is better or worse. The sound it made was definitely worse.
-Somehow, Willie ends up sitting crosslegged on the little piano bench, and he turns and quickly crushes up the mushrooms to destroy the portal.
-Julie, of course, is screaming, Alex and Luke and Reggie are screaming. Willie is trying to explain to Julie she over-watered her fern and pouts when she runs away.
-No they're not ghosts but they are changed and they all have weird powers. Luke nearly cries with joy that he can still summon his guitar. Alex is really not okay with this whole 'walking through walls' thing. Reggie is sad he cannot summon a puppy or a pizza.
-Willie can teleport short distances and is shocked to learn humans can't just do that? You have to walk everywhere? Or ride a horse. What's a car? What's roller skates? He needs to see one of these skateboad things immediately, let's summon the human girl back to ask for one. What can they trade for a skateboard?
-They're kind of freaked out at the whole 2020 thing, but hey, Reggie's like: at least it hasn't been a hundred years like when I told Luke about the 90s.
-Queue canon but it's even worse and more chaotic.
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ereborne · 2 days
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Anyone who has ever received a package from me had better know themselves loved
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sunflowersorrows · 2 months
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SANSHEE FUCKED UP MY ORDER AND GAVE ME LTTM INSTEAD OF FP ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME
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bomnun · 2 months
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KINO 1st EP [If this is love, I want a refund]
TRACKLIST
#Broke_My_Heart (Feat. Lay Bankz)
2024.05.02 6PM (KST)
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epherwillc · 1 year
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Vorinclex: (looking at Lukka) this is the best you could get me?
Jin-Gitaxias: oh relax he’s fine
V: I mean sure his processes are fine but he gives me a bad taste
JG: *sarcastically* oh no, not a bad taste
V: look, look look look
V: you get your fancy assistant, norn gets her pet knight, what do I get? a bad taste
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serkonans · 6 months
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so frustrated bc I need to break up w my personal trainer fr But he's experienced w helping people recover from injury and I want him to coach me through getting back into lifting after top surgery
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lupismaris · 9 months
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I'm caught between being the weird beloved quartermaster of the office who helps everyone keep their work in order and the office mastiff with a hair trigger who will go for the throat if someone with authority (social or job based) gets out of line
Today is an uncomfortable mix of the two
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aaronwhorechner · 7 months
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i love getting sucker punched in the throat by demonology and then immediately getting sucker punched again with omnivore
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meistoshi · 29 days
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<- guy still sulking he hasn't been able to chirp back at pikachu for Months now
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