#he never talked to me again lmao
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just realized today while rewatching heartstopper that I accidentally did a nick nelson when I was in 8-9th grade (agreeing to go out with someone bc you don’t know how to say no) and I’m fucking shook nick why are we like this
#he was one of my best friends and I knew he liked me but I was avoiding it because I didn’t think of him that way#he was like the stop before me on the bus and right before his stop he asked me out and I didn’t know how to say no SO I SAID YES#got home. had probably one of my first panic attacks. called a friend I wasn’t really friends with anymore to talk about it (idk why) and#then told him I wasn’t ready for a relationship like 45 minutes later over the phone#he never talked to me again lmao#I *did* really miss his friendship throughout high school and there were always slightly weird vibes if we were ever in the same groups in#class but. oh well I guess#I messaged him a little over a year ago apologizing for it and we talked for a bit but I forgot to reply bc I’m bad at texting so it petered#out#why is this the anxious gay/bisexual experience fr#anyways watch heartstopper i love them sm i would die for nick nelson#also I’m just re realizing CHARLIE IS LITERALLY 15?!?!?!#HES SO YOUNG#THEY ARE FIGURING THAT SHIT OUT SO SOON#I was NOT emotionally ready for relationships at that age lmao#not leverage#jackie talks#about me#mine#heartstopper
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i like him
#somebody needs to keep me 8 metres away at all times or else ill start chewing on him#i just want everyone to know if i end up making a character who happens to resemble harvey in any shape or form#it probably wasnt a coincidence 😐and it will happen again#if i remember maybe ill try getting stardew when it goes on sale.. my friend showed me her farm and she named her chicken after doja cat#or maybe it was nikki minaj i cant remember. and she also said smth about monsters and passing out if you stay out after a certain hour#idk how accurate tht is all i know is the funny fucked up grandpas bed#i read somewhere that harveys supposed to be in his early to mid thirties and i dont have a problem with it but i think itd be very funny#if hes actually younger than he looks hes just a med school postgrad lmao. idk how well that headcanon would hold up since ive#never played the game and idk how often ppl talk about his age or if itsjust an implied thing. i just think its really really funny#im trying to get into the habit of drawing poses so im using reference images to try and build up muscle memory#i found some cute pictures of two ppl playing by the sea shore and it reminded me of xin and sailor so im gonna draw em like that#i havent drawn em in so long..... maybe i should update xins reference since i changed their lore quite a bit#myart#my art#doodles#stardew valley#stardew#sdv#sdv harvey#kinda wanna see him whimper a little bit. as a treat
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hi I’m upset again
#oof ouchie oof#kiryu not dealing with shit again the sequel#part of me knows kiryu isn't trying to be malicious#but part of me knows that kiryu knew majima would never refuse him and any objection was just arbitrary bullshit#he's a pretty selfish guy in the sense that he thinks everyone is just okay with his decisions that override anyone else's opinion#and he has like zero capacity for self reflection lmao and when he is self aware he just doesn't follow thru#man talks about responsibility as if he knows what that means#yakuza#ryu ga gotoku#kiryu kazuma#majima goro#kazumaji#my art
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#p4#p4g#persona 4#persona 4 golden#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#souyo#soooooooooo we gonna talk about how yosuke enthusiastically jumps in to tell yu that hes the same#so ive already talked a million times about how yu and yosuke's types are basically each other and that how their r/s is so defined by their#attraction to each others kindness and reliability and all that but im just#kanji's expression is sending me here LFMAO especially because kanji is low key the one that kind of points out their closeness the most#tatsumi “hey let me in on this conversation” kanji#tatsumi “whos your partner now!” kanji#1000% kanji knows they're into each other he knows they're flirting without realising they're flirting#like never ever forget kanji's own sensitivity to the people around him and HE KNOWS. WHATS. UP.#but also the way no one else except kanji intervenes lmao#lmao i think chie yukiko and their class president are just really used to what souyo are like together (embarrassing not-pda pda)#so theyre just ah business as usual theyre doing that thing again. this is minor. trivial in the grand scheme of everything else they do#its got nothing on them passing notes or the way yu turns around to smile at yosuke and yosuke smiles back and they just sit there smiling#at each other in absolute silence. their classmates know to just walk around them and leave them alone.#class prez knows if he has to tell one of them its their turn on duty its a lost cause. they'll make up for it later as they always do#but for now he knows he'll have to get the broom and sweep the classroom floor himself#ok i jest none of that is canon (is it) but thanks to the sample bias i have from this scene#i am on the floor laughcrying at how everyone at the tables just#watching souyo flirt shamelessly like ah theyre at it again. why did hanamura-kun even suggest a group date hes clearly already dating-#he's good with his queue
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ayoo guess who finally sat down and caught up with cultivate B)
is me. so you know what that means.
spoiler warning for cultivate ch 30-37
there was actually.... more things i wanted to draw but I already did so many I had to physically restrain myself hfsjkkdh anyway yes can you tell i love this fic very much
yet once again. cultivate by the wonderful @neonghostcat
#liushen#cultivate#cultivate: slow life on a monster infested mountain#mu qingfang#tagging him as well since theres lot of focus on him lol#and shen jiu as well u have to excuse me I love them they're meow meows#there was gonna be more sj content also but he ended up being cut in the end#wait- hdfdfhkj probably shouldnt talk about cutting something and SJ in the same sentence lmao jhfksdhfk ok bad joke sorry#anyway aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa absolutely deceased with all that has been revealed and covered in the past few chapter#actually dead wonderful powerful talented incredible showstopping never seen before#my most favourite part of cultive is its mysteries without a shadow of a doubt they're so intriguing and the reveal is ALWAYS sooo satisfyi#so the chain reaction of so many answers of the big ones tm? chefs kiss MWA#speaking of mysteries i never mentioned it before because I didn't know how to incorporate it without it being awkward but#for the longest time one particular piece of info has been rotting in my brain#and it was the off-hand comment on of the aqueduct by LQG#it is SO SILLY but THATS the one that has been just spinning in my brain FROM THEN ON ALL THE TIME it is indeed not the actually much coole#checkovs guns that have been setup nooo it was THIS hjkjsdfhksd I HAD TO KNOW where that was going AND NOW I KNOW I CAN REST EASY jsdhfkd#so yeah absolutely wonderful chapters indeed beautiful powerful#also some of you may noticed that time and time again I keep switching up the seniority between bai zhan and qian cao#and i have to formally apologize for that it is in fact not out of lack of attention to the text I'm just shdjkas#if im not mistaken qian caos position is not set in stone in canon so its free for grabs to put it in any of the free spots on the list#so i should respect neonghostcats (beloved i am so sorry) list in this case but i physically couldn't bring myself to write mqf as shidi#HSAJHS im sorry i am so biased and from doctors family i cannot put him in my head in peak seniority so low I'm sry i am legally not allowe#so lets just pretend i wrote it correctly ok sadhkas eyes closed xD#OOF th etags got long this time but im just SOOOO EXCITED WITH THIS FIC AND GOT FEELINGS OK BYE#anyway neonghostcat godspeed recovery buddy!!#also i hope using neonghostcat isnt like....calling u by your full name hdkfh but no idea to which parts i should shorten it either so hah
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I just think Tallulah gets to be upset about this. “It’s not Wilbur’s fault” “He’s not a bad dad” “He loves his daughter so much” yes! These are all true! And it’s not his fault! But he’s still not there. And Tallulah has gone through so much and still hasn’t seen him, the one time he was around was the one time she wasn’t, and all she has are letters and “I’m thinking of you always” and things that used to be theirs together, but he’s still not there. She’s waited and she’s been patient and she’s loved him all the same, and he’s still not there. Like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before, from the happy milestones to the traumatic events, he’s still not there.
She knows that it’s not his fault, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s absent. That in and of itself just adds to the sorrow, because she knows why he’s gone, and she’s been told time and time again it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, she knows this - it doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting, that it doesn’t hurt, that she doesn’t yearn for her father to be there more than anything in the world, and he’s just not there.
So yes, she gets to be upset, and be caustic, and stomp her feet and write bitter messages, and be angry and vitriolic, because she’s a little girl missing her father, who feels things with her whole heart and soul - and that means she gets to feel the ugly parts of it, too.
#it’s like no wilbur isn’t at fault. especially if we’re talking about cc wilbur. but fuck man of course she’s gonna feel like this#this doesn’t make wilbur a bad person! he’s just a missing one. and Tallulah feels all the misery and bitterness as a daughter left behind#where is her father kissing her injuries and reassuring her? where is her father protecting her? hugging her at the end of the day?#Wil isn’t around to do this and she wants him back and he’s not going to be back. not for a while. and it’s not his fault but it doesn’t#stop it from being upsetting. she’s a little girl#and at least she has phil. her dad. who’s there time and time again. and it doesn’t make him somehow morally better or wtevr. he’s there an#Wil is not. and he’s going to continue to be there as a solid figure in tallulahs life that she needs#idk man like. fuck#lmao relating my own experiences from here below in the tags ✌️#as someone who’s been in that position? a parent absent for reasons outside of control? yeah it’s sucks. and I love them and they love me#*with a parent I mean I wasn’t the parent lmao#and it will never be the same. and when they were gone and missing things I was furious at them#that resentment grows and then it fades and sometimes bitterness strikes again and it’s how it goes. love is still there#and it’s no one’s fault. it just is. and what is is messy#anyways#mcyt#qsmp#q!tallulah#q!wilbur#z speaks
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guys wake up new C coloring pic just dropped <333 have some teefs i drew awhile ago that i probably never posted here
#this was a banger drawing and C made it so much cooler with the paint splatter ty for the addition#also it makes me happy to hear you like how i draw nero bc. i dont know how to draw him actually ahsdghkajd hes very hard to draw#anyway. sparda chompers supremacy. these boys have sharp teeth and they WILL bite someone with them#devil may cry#dante(dmc)#vergil(dmc)#nero(dmc)#fan's colorings#everything from here on out is directed at C bc i have no other ways to talk to them so you guys can stop reading here <3#hey C! i actually didnt see what your first submission was bc i didnt even receive it lmao#but i just want to say that you dont have to worry about anything; what i said the other day wasnt directed at you at all#i do enjoy the little stories you have whenever your submit things; they seem to be pretty personal stories and i appreciate that you trust#me enough to tell me about them.#if you'd feel better not sharing any more that's fine! i'm never going to mention anything in them anywhere regardless#i'll just keep posting your colorings as usual for everyone to see and appreciate :)#hope you have a great day C! and thanks again for always coloring my stuff!#allyart
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like... i personally have friends whose loved ones are in ukraine. ive seen firsthand how the war in ukraine has traumatized and terrified them despite being safe here in so-called canada. they can't sleep at night because they are worried sick about the people they love. they are a shell of their former selves. the invasion of ukraine isn't some abstract thing for you to use as a rhetorical device, it isn't a fucking team sport, it isn't a joke for you to own the libs with or whatever, it's a real thing that affects real human lives. i have a profound disgust for people who speak of the war which such callous disregard.
#my barber's family is in eastern europe. some of them are in ukraine#i'll never forget the look he gave me the week after the invasion started#im about to cry in the middle of this coffee shop lmao#we talked about it again yesterday (as well as gaza) while he was cutting my hair and i almost burst into tears#💔💔💔#i know it's corny but like.... i just want there to be peace on earth!
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Etho is so neurodivergent coded
#over complicating basic tasks#not understanding puns#poor listening comprehension#he was explained his task by martyn like three times and still didn’t understand it by the end of the session#will NOT get a clue that someone wants to team with him unless they say it directly to his face#where’s that post about how every season grians like pspspspsp etho#and how etho and grian will never team because grian is too sly and etho can’t pick up social cues#and this episode grian was hinting at wanting to team again and it was only official when grian straight up begged for it#I love that awkward pathetic man#ethoslab#mcyt#secret life#secret life smp#Etho#forgot to say I’m nd lmao#he is me I am him#edit: don’t even talk to me about the jump scare task
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ok i just needed to get it out of my system
#thackerys my favorite hes just like me fr (bad posture)#alice in wonderland#alice in wonderland 2010#tim burtons alice in wonderland#alice in wonderland 2010 (game)#i dont think there is a tag specifically for this game lmao#i drew most of these like...two weeks ago when i was obsessing over this game ive never played but i finished some other ones :3#the obsessions mostly passed i think im like#normal again#but i think i could still talk for hours about why i like this game more than the movie#although its still flawed the ending of the games a little ehhh but everything else mwah mwah mwah
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having a really old dog is just repeating the mantra to yourself "i am grateful for the time i've been given and when it comes time to let him go i will do so gracefully. i am grateful for the time i've been given and when it comes time to let wait why are you not pooping normally WHAT IS GOING ON WHY WON'T YOU POOP ARE YOU DYING" and then calling the vet in a panic, being told actually he's fine but give the probiotic some time to do its thing and then let us know if anything changes, and then you take a deep breath and go "cool. yeah. obviously he's fine. anyway. i am grateful for the time i've been given and
#listen i got this dog when he was already 7 years old and i was 22#never in a million years did i think he'd still be here EIGHT YEARS LATER when i'm THIRTY#tbh after all the shit i've given him for pooping inside he WOULD go out because of some constipation#like ''fine you don't want me to poop inside? i guess i'll never poop again''#which is why i was so worried because this just felt like something that would happen#but the vet literally didn't bat an eye when i called lmao#she was just like ''oh yeah that sounds totally normal''#so this geriatric menace gets to live on#me#dog death cw#not really but talking about like. the inevitability of it#HONESTLY i'm glad i've had so many scares because it's almost like it's bracing me for the real event#not to be. excessively morbid or anything#ANYWAY#DOG IS FINE HE'S JUST HAVING HIS DIGESTIVE SYSTEM RESET
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Shinsou had a crush on you since like, young kids days and never thought you noticed him, but that was good cause maybe you thought he was a weird kid, so once he beefed up and finally got the confidence to talk to you it gets shut right tf back down when you're like "Of course i remember you!"
I don't know which part is worse............................ Shinso being so absorbed in his own supposed loser-hood in his youth that he essentially ignored you for 5-10 years while he was working out his self esteem issues ... or the fact that you not only DO remember him, berry well at that, but don't really think anything of it because you thought HE was kinda... a jerk for never being nice to you back.
(Cuz on one hand, you're so sweet, smiling at him when he approaches you, genuinely, just like you did back when you were both under ten and you'd smile at him from the other side of the park... but on the other hand, you don't hesitate to turn right back to your own friends after he barely manages to answer your "how have you been" question and you give him pity eyes like you still think he's a shy headass.
It's just... he doesn't want to fuck it up a second time and lose his momentum... but all the confidence he put into the moment deflated the second he realized you were even more beautiful and more kind than he remembered you and it got him tripping over his words)
ANYWAY then there's another 2-4 months of him trying to get your number just to be a fool over text before even managing to convince you he's worth a fucking damn LOL.
(And he is worth a damn, so much more than a damn because he's willing to give anything and everything up for you but... doesn't know how to say it in a way that wouldn't scare you off for good...
Not to mention he's so fucking bad at texting. Yes, his dry humor is funny as hell but he's not trying to be funny with you, he's trying to WOO you and so the whole thing is just him making excuses to reach out to you even tho texting first for him is like plucking ass hair.)
#shinso#no bc shy people.... i love them but ... put in the work y'all i am doing all this talking for what???#to be silently appreciated? no. I have my own issues too !!! and u don't see me hesitating to speak !!!!!!#<- how i imagine this reader bc shy ppl grate on me sometimes with feeling unable or scared to talk#so anyway being shy bites shinso in the BEHIND bc he didn't realize he wasn't just... a loser nobody saw...#but a loser everyone saw as being... mean. for not wanting to talk to them#even tho i know you were kind and gentle to him#he was never able to reciprocate out of feeling like he wasn't good enough#DISASTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway he's sexxy af now but you just think it's made him more self-absorbed#until you actually get to know him again and it turns out you were wrong too#LMAO I LOVE THIS DISASTER RELATIONSHIP#sorry if this went in a totally weird direction anon i couldnt help myself !!#caitie things#anon#gen
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.
#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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dean widower arc moments literally just chewing glass thinking about them. idk why but the romance of it all comes through better than anywhere else. like it's almost like you realize the value of the thing tenfold in its absence or whatever. anyway. god. society if they let dean cradle his body. if they let him hunch over cas' body, if they let him press his hands to cas' wound while he's dying like there's some way that he can save him by the sheer force of his will. if they let him just sit there, devastated, as cas' wings burned themselves into the ground. CAN YOU. IMAGINE. dean's seething, quiet anger and apathy, not his explosiveness. his scrambled brain trying to make head or tails of this life, this situation and not knowing how. it's all so stupidly sad and delicious i hate it i love it
#I WANT TO. WRITE SO MUCH WIDOWER ARC CONTENT IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY#dean's grief is so fascinating to me#experience emotions please#i think it's because he's always so. repressed and he doesn't know how to feel things properly like the emotions don't fit in the space#between his skin and bones. and like the s13 widower arc is just. one of those moments where EVERYTHING comes tumbling out#and it's so messy and horrible and sad but like. LIKE THAT'S WHERE THE MEAT OF HIS CHARACTER IS#that's who he is. that's why he's the most caring man on earth. the most loving human being that we'll ever know etc#like. he's never as vulnerable as he is then#maybe in purgatory during the trap but yeah#wooooooo i am sooo#i should stop posting lmak#lmao"#widower arc#dean#destiel#spn#doe is talking again
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sometimes I wonder how ppl think dave is straight like that boy has so much bisexual in him and he either isn’t aware of it or is in denial/internally homophobic.
being the first (and only) one to notice shawn leaving after the first challenge, physically turning around to watch him go ‘where’s shawn going?’ all concerned and everything (hardly been one day since they all met might I add). that expression he pulled during the first challenge while looking at shawn getting the soup (you guys know the one, I posted abt it) like there’s no heterosexual explanation for that. “whoa shawn this cave you found is pretty neat. does that mean you’ll finally be sleeping with us?” honey you’re acting like he’s been sleeping outdoors for weeks, again he’s the only one concerned. like okay dude just say you’re bi without saying you’re bi
#I’m pretty sure he also said smth abt shawn sleeping in trees#again all concerned#but idk if that’s actually a canon scene or from a rewrite fic lmao#so don’t quote me on that#anyway mr. david is bisexual he just has to get to that realization#literally why is he so concerned abt shawn when no one else is#I understand it’s supposed to lead into their friendship but homies never this concerned abt anyone else#even freaking sky???#I just find it so fucking hilarious#(but like real talk their canonical friendship is everything to me)#kit speaks#noahtally-famous#total drama#kit stuff#td#tdpi#td dave#total drama pahkitew island
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eepy bois & their tamagotchis
i was having fun perusing this site & decided that they needed a tamagotchi to care for on tour.
#i truly have no idea what compelled me to do this. i saw this website and once i saw the one i picked for iv and my brain said 💡#iii is absolutely forgetting about it. he's so careful for the first few days but then he forgets/loses it & it dies.#when he finds it he probably has a funeral for it. he writes a eulogy and talks about how he'll never love another lil guy again.#vessel wants to take care of it but the first time it starts beeping too much and annoying him he's out i feel like lmao#whereas iv is caring very dearly for his little fellow. he takes this responsibility very seriously.#ii would never admit it but he ALSO takes this responsibility very seriously. taking care of his lil guy makes him happy#i'm mentally preparing myself for this post to be an absolute flop lmaoooooo. but i couldn't keep these in my head i had too much fun#worshitposting#em's worshitposting
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