|| part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 coming soon... ||

so, did you know ace was offered a position on the warlords that he turned down? well i mean... if he had accepted, it would follow that the revs would take more interest in him, yeah? i mean, it is their job to keep tabs on the government, you'd presume that extends to warlords as well.

and as far as warlords go, fire fist is interesting.

if only sabo could work out why... then maybe the man would finally get out of his head.

EDIT: textless versions of the pages can be found here!

A little something I wrote last weekend. Happy Trans Day of Visibility!

Canon complicit

VMin

Genderqueer Jimin and Tae, Pan Yoongi

Self-discovery

Also posted on Twitter!

I wanted to write a fic about a Jimin who got bullied for his feminine name, for his soft face, for his ‘girly’ hobby. A Jimin who sought acceptance by dancing and dressing as masculine as he could, by hungering until his jaw finally looked sharp and defined.

Who met Yoongi and recoiled. Yoongi should be cold and badass and the epitome of masculinity. But he wasn’t. He was soft-spoken and caring and knew how to sew and cook. He liked doing aegyo and being silly.

He liked kissing boys just as much as kissing girls.

He said there’s no difference, only people.

And this Jimin got confused. Because- there’s only men and women, right? Only being a guy or being a girl, right?

Who better to ask than their leader who hated that he hurt people and went to learn how to never do that again.

So Jimin asked and Namjoon. Namjoon took a long while to answer, well-thought out and trying to explain all those foreign concepts as best he could in Korean. It made Jimin’s head swim, half of it making no sense whatsoever at first.

But then.

Then he had time to digest.

Between fittings and scoldings and heavy makeup.

Where he looked into the mirror and for the first time in years thought he might like what he saw.

When they were doing their own makeup, it was rough and unrefined and very late 2000s. But now that the noonadeul were taking care of it, Jimin saw something… attractive there. The eyeshadow was nothing he’d ever have tried on his own. Neither was the lipstick.

He turned his head this way and that and thought about the definition of masculinity and how it was so, so varied even among the seven of them.

Maybe the yelling in his ears would never die down, maybe those insults would forever cut Jimin when he saw himself like this, but the joy, pure unadulterated joy, would forever be worth it.

It began like this. Seeing the feminine and accepting it. Realising that it didn’t and never could taint his masculinity.

But then.

But then he started to experiment. And realised. That perhaps it wasn’t just a- a feminine side.

Taehyung brought back a pair of heels so high, Jimin was convinced he’d fall over should he try to wear them and yet all he felt was utter envy that Taehyung got to wear them, dance in them. He watched, jaw tight, as Taehyung pranced through the small living room, and left, far too abruptly to escape anyone’s notice.

And sure enough, not a minute later Taehyung came into Jimin’s room without so much as a by your leave. They fought, Jimin throwing around words whose knife-sharp edges he knew all too well, and Taehyung called him a disappointment.

It was never just about a dumpling.

But it was four o’clock when Jimin finally made his way to the playground after a gruelling talk about his feelings with Yoongi of all people. Mostly because Namjoon was busy talking to Taehyung and neither Seokjin nor Hoseok wanted to get involved.

And Jungkook. Jungkook was mostly confused, watching with scared eyes as his hyungdeul fought about something seemingly inconsequential for days.

But it was past four o’clock, almost morning, almost time to start their day, when Jimin stepped onto the playground, sitting down wordlessly next to Taehyung and staring out across the darkened park. It took him a while, the words still lodged in his throat from shame and anger and guilt.

But once he started, he couldn’t stop speaking, only interrupted when Taehyung wordlessly took his hand at some point. He spent a moment staring, their fingers intertwined and comically out of proportion to his tired mind.

And as the sky grew lighter around them, night indeed the darkest just before morning, Taehyung, using words he clearly wasn’t quite familiar with yet, told Jimin just how alike they were, just how deeply Jimin’s words had cut.

Jimin was sobbing by the time Taehyung finished and he was on his knees before Taehyung could stop him, rubbing his hands and begging for forgiveness because how could he ever do what others had done to him? And to Taehyung to boot. To his best friend. His soulmate.

By the end they were both kneeling and crying, their arms wrapped around one another so tightly, Jimin knew he’d feel the embrace for hours to come.

And under the first rays of the sun, Jimin pulled back, just far enough to cup Taehyung’s face, to stroke his cheek and smile, asking for forgiveness one last time before he leaned in and pressed his lips to Taehyung’s cold cheek.

It made Taehyung gasp, but if Jimin expected him to pull away and laugh it off, he’d have been sorely disappointed, because instead Taehyung leaned in, pressing their lips together, something chaste enough to brush it of as friendly. But Jimin felt it down into the tips of his frozen toes, of his fingers clenched in Taehyung’s hoodie.

They parted and Jimin knew they had found stable ground. No more lies, no more masks between them. No more omitted words about shared feelings.

They left the park with held hands and new certainty, but Jimin knew that whatever was between them was a whispered secret in the pre-dawn light. Known to the others by sheer inescapability, but melting as morning mist under the sunlight.

With how many words they had already spoken between the lines, they didn’t mind adding a few more.

And when Jimin managed for the first time to walk on Taehyung’s insane heels without falling, Hoseok was there to cheer him on and Jungkook demanded a turn, completely convinced he’d be able to nail it at once. Thankfully the small bruise on his forehead was easily hidden by makeup though Jimin and Taehyung couldn’t help but tease the maknae for his hubris.

Heels were not the last thing Jimin tried on and out. There were skirts and trousers and tops of all kinds and he became a little daring, tucking away as much as he could and wearing trousers that accented his hips and thighs.

It still got too much some times. Even with Taehyung’s soothing lips and Yoongi’s steady hands. Even with Namjoon’s reassuring words and Hoseok’s warm hugs. With Seokjin’s quiet companionship and Jungkook’s ability to distract him.

There were days where Jimin was infinitely glad about being bone-tired and not awake enough to perceive his body. Where he let the makeup and styling noonadeul do whatever they wanted without checking the result in the mirror before he went on stage.

Days where seeing either side of the coin in the mirror would have been more than he could bear.

And then a time came where he wasn’t being perceived by anyone at all. Not even Taehyung was allowed to visit and Jimin lost all concept of dressing to be seen for a while. He was lost in so many ways, drifting in the darkness he hadn’t felt this keenly in years.

Not dressing in any particular way, not seeing a stylist or makeup artist for weeks for the first time in years, meant a freedom over his looks that Jimin almost forgot.

He didn’t even know what led to him sitting down in front of his bathroom mirror, so late at night it probably was morning again, and styling his hair until it fell the way he’d seen on some of the noonadeul in the company. He pulled out the small makeup kit he’s owned for years now and applied it with a practiced hand, going for a soft look.

When he finally stepped back, Jimin had to squeeze his eyes shut for a long moment before he dared to peek at his full reflection, seeing something he feared for so long which only filled him with quiet contentment now.

With shaking hands he pulled out his phone and found the chat app he and Taehyung used for their top secret discussions of sex and gender. He texted Taehyung, knowing that he wouldn’t be up yet, but not able to stop himself from saying,

I think I’m a woman today, gomdori

A shudder ran through him and Jimin sank down onto the tiles, both hiding from his reflection and hiding his reflection from his own eyes.

He looked down, tracing the tiles with his eyes and fearing, fearing, fearing that today was every day and every day meant- meant pain and lying, even more than he already did.

He gasped when his phone vibrated in his hand and accepted Taehyung’s call with a small smile.

The Most Beautiful Moment in Life <I’M FINE>

     BTS Universe Story Highlights, pt. 1 / 4

» pt. 2

Introduction

BTS Universe Story, a mobile game published by Netmarble, was released on September 24, 2020. While the majority of the app is essentially a sandbox and engine for users to create their own interactive stories, it also includes official and canon BU content. The first eight segments were introduced between the release date and December 2020, gathered under the title The Most Beautiful Moment in Life <I’M FINE>.

“I’m Fine” is half of the I’m Fine/Save Me ambigram introduced in the Love Yourself era. Notably, all of the BU content available in the game so far falls between events of the webtoon Save Me (also called HYYH0 in its logo) and The Notes 1—chronologically, that is, while bearing in mind that time resets to the morning of 11 April Year 22 whenever SeokJin fails to avert a tragedy among his six friends. I want to assure anyone who is unable to play the game that you are not missing any new, major plot beats from the overall BU narrative. Instead, the stories provide more insight into the motivations and consequences of SeokJin’s decisions in the earlier time loops, as well as more depth to individual characters and their circumstances.

The goal of this guide is to summarize each of the eight stories and highlight noteworthy details, especially if they are not yet present in other BU media. Within each story (which I often refer to as an arc, due to their character-focused nature), episodes must be played successively, but the stories themselves can be played in any order. I will present them over a series of posts in the order they are listed under the <I’M FINE> heading. The Prologue and NamJoon’s arc are free to play; the rest are paid content. Please note that due to the app’s Terms & Conditions, I will not include in-game footage here. The images in this guide are sourced from the official trailers/videos and the live action MVs as appropriate.

Content warning: contains references to death, suicide, suicidal ideation, child abuse, domestic violence, blood, homicide, depression, trauma, PTSD

This guide contains major spoilers and includes references to other BU media

Do not repost, copy, or quote without permission

Game Mechanic

Before diving into the summaries, I would like to address the primary mechanic of the game: the user’s control of character choices at designated moments in the stories. It’s a primary marketing point that the player can influence the progression of the narrative, with a frequent in-app tip also declaring, “stories’ endings can vary depending on your choices.” The latter is not strictly true—and it cannot be true due to the structure of the game. Choices are presented within most (not all) episodes, but each episode is an isolated unit: episode 2 provides the same content regardless of what you choose in episode 1. Since the consequences of your decisions are not cumulative, each episode reaches the same ending, and each decision inevitably rejoins the “main” story path (effectively reducing the script size).

So what is the point of this mechanic? While the system is not nearly as complex as what major platform titles are capable of nowadays (I suspect due in large part to the story creation portion of the game), it does foster a sense of interaction with the narrative that isn’t present in static visual media like comics or film. The episodes with choices also have incentive for replay to discover the impact of changing a character’s dialogue or action. Sometimes the differences between the outcomes are inconsequential, but other times you unearth new details, interactions, or memories that are missing in the other path.

I say this partially in reaction to all of the comments and tweets I read for the game trailers and even Smeraldo Book twitter’s choose-your-own-adventure style teasers with The Notes 2 excerpts released last summer. Many users expressed excitement, through words or memes, about finally being able to give the boys the happy ending they deserved. I don’t fault anyone for wanting that happy ending—I wish for it, too. But no matter what the rather overzealous marketing has claimed, I don’t believe that the canon ending of BU is ever meant to be in the audience’s control. But I do feel that this mechanism fits the BU narrative. It echoes the “countless loops” SeokJin has experienced in an effort to save his friends, the choices he must make at every crossroad, and the butterfly effect those actions have on all of their lives. I think it is reasonable to interpret the simple branching paths in the game as alternatives SeokJin has explored across multiple loops in his struggle to find the “right” way forward. I’d love to hear if you have theories of your own!

Prologue

The prologue is a brief episode introducing SeokJin’s repeated struggle and failure to save his friends. He wakes up yet again in his bed on 11 April Year 22, the beginning of the time loop. After reflecting on the tragedies that keep befalling the others, SeokJin realizes that he has only tried to fix the problems he can see. He wonders: “Have I tried to understand the root of my friends’ misfortunes? How much do I really know about my friends? Maybe I was never brave enough to confront their real scars and the worlds they’ve been living in. But I need to do it. Because it may be the key to saving them all.”

How to Offer a Hand

In this story, SeokJin attempts to prevent NamJoon’s arrest after he gets in a fight with a rude customer at Naeri Gas Station, his place of work. The first episode opens on the night of 11 April Year 22 with NamJoon curling his fists, glaring as crumpled bills lie untouched on the pavement. (The money looks similar to the shot from the I Need U MV.) SeokJin reaches for his shoulder, but NamJoon shrugs him off and strides away to punch the customer who deliberately dropped the bills for him to pick up. The gas station owner runs over at the customer’s furious shouts and orders NamJoon to apologize. He refuses, and police officers soon arrive and charge him with assault. No one listens to SeokJin’s protests that the customer started it first. The man sneers as NamJoon enters the police car. “Do you even have money for a settlement? Hey, you’re done for.” NamJoon is sentenced to prison again, and SeokJin hears glass shattering before the loop resets.

Rising from his bed on the morning of 11 April, SeokJin reflects on his failed efforts so far. He has hit the customer’s car, called for NamJoon in the middle of the incident, and stopped the fight himself, the latter of which caused his friends to avoid him later. The fight has even escalated; the details are unspecified, but the audience is provided an ominous shot of SeokJin speaking to a police officer alone at the scene. NamJoon is not the kind of person who would normally respond to that kind of provocation with his fists. SeokJin realizes that he cannot merely stop the fight but must discover and fix the true cause of it.

With this in mind, SeokJin heads to Naeri Gas Station during the day and tries to engage NamJoon. This is their first time meeting since they both returned to Songju, although SeokJin has experienced it in many loops already. “It’s been a while,” he greets (as he does at the end of the Blood Sweat & Tears Japanese version MV). Before SeokJin can dig deeper in their conversation, NamJoon is called away by his boss. SeokJin enters the small employee break room which serves as NamJoon’s living space when he’s not at the container, hoping to find some clues about his friend’s life. SeokJin locates something bundled in newspapers. If the player chooses to open it, he sees a strange shard of glass inside that may belong to a car or motorcycle headlight. He continues on, finding the book Cosmos by Carl Sagan and a notebook. SeokJin hesitates over the invasion of privacy but decides to read it since he needs all the information that he can gather. The journal entries detail NamJoon’s daily life since returning to Songju: his work at the gas station isn’t too bad despite the occasional rude customer; he purchased a book and hopes to get more in the future; he picked up a second job at a wedding hall to help catch up on bills; his brother NamHyeon got in trouble again, leading to more expenses; and his dad’s health has worsened, with hospital bills after an emergency surgery rising to levels that the family cannot afford. SeokJin knew that NamJoon was the de facto head of household due to his father’s illness but was unaware that it was to this degree. He feels sorry for NamJoon yet is also impressed by his maturity, for NamJoon never writes how difficult his situation is.

NamJoon arrives and asks what SeokJin is doing in the room. If the player chooses to answer “reading” instead of “just sitting there,” SeokJin privately observes that the conversation flows more easily when they talk about books. NamJoon says he must leave and declines when SeokJin offers to wait for him there. SeokJin knocks over a pile of books along with money and receipts as he stands. He thinks it is unusual that NamJoon picks up the books before the money. The books seem to be more than a hobby to NamJoon, holding special meaning. Walking to his car, SeokJin wonders if it is pride or determination not to falter that keeps NamJoon from journaling his grievances. He realizes that money is a constant source of frustration and misery to NamJoon, and that’s why he can’t stomach being insulted over the customer’s dropped money. SeokJin’s new plan is to prevent NamJoon from picking up the money. He also calls Palgok County Hospital and offers to pay the patient bill for NamJoon’s father. Anticipating that NamJoon will be angry if he finds out, SeokJin says the payer is Songho Foundation.

That night, SeokJin returns to the gas station with the excuse that he forgot to fill up earlier. The luxury car arrives with a honk, and NamJoon hurries over to assist. He shakes with anger when the customer drops the money on the ground. “Why aren’t you picking it up? You don’t want it? What’s with that look? Pretty arrogant for a part-timer, aren’t you?” goads the customer. SeokJin intervenes. Whether the player chooses to have him advise NamJoon not to pick it up or to order the customer to pick it up himself, the end result is the same. SeokJin asks the customer, “Why are you harassing a pitiful part-timer?” The customer drives away, and something about NamJoon seems off. His face is expressionless, not mad or humiliated. “SeokJin, you…” He stops. “Never mind. Thank you for your help.” The words sound difficult for him to speak.

SeokJin believes that he has saved NamJoon, although this ending feels sloppy. He continues on in the loop to rescue JungKook and later YoonGi, but uneasiness plagues him. Though he meant to help NamJoon with his actions, SeokJin wonders if he hurt him instead. On 5 May Year 22, he returns to the gas station and follows NamJoon when he leaves work early. NamJoon enters a bookstore, and SeokJin sneaks in after him to watch from afar. He overhears employees talking about NamJoon, worrying that he might dirty the pages of the book he’s perusing. NamJoon is too absorbed in the book to notice one of them calling for his attention. SeokJin recalls a memory from their school days when he found NamJoon reading alone in their classroom hideout: he asked why NamJoon read so diligently, and his friend explained that he found it comforting to empty his thoughts of everything else while focused on the book. In the present, SeokJin wonders how he forgot how much books mean to NamJoon. He sacrifices some of his food and transportation budget to afford them, but they enable him “to endure the weight of the world he’s forced to bear on his shoulders.” After realizing this, SeokJin wants to apologize for carelessly sympathizing with the reality that NamJoon has weathered alone.

The next episode is from NamJoon’s perspective, revealing his excitement over being able to purchase a book for the first time in two months. He wants to buy two but can only afford one. The employee at the register sighs and asks why he leafed through a book he wasn’t going to buy. NamJoon apologizes, and she mutters, “So dirty.” He notices his reflection, clothes worn and smelling of gasoline, and realizes she’s talking about him, not the book. He tries to shake off these depressing thoughts, but he is still not accustomed to this treatment despite experiencing it regularly at work. As NamJoon begins to exit the store, the security alarm goes off. The employees demand to check his bag despite his insistence that he didn’t steal anything. Their certainty of his theft angers him. NamJoon allows them to look through his bag, and they are suspicious of the like-new book in it which he brought from home. One begins to call the police until SeokJin appears, vouching for NamJoon by saying he saw everything. The employees accept that the alarm malfunctioned and excuse their suspicions as a mistake.

Outside, SeokJin asks NamJoon if he is all right. NamJoon is thankful but wonders how SeokJin materialized right when he needed him. “How’d you find me here?” he asks aloud. SeokJin explains that he happened to notice him while walking through the neighborhood. NamJoon wonders if it’s because they said goodbye on a weird note last time. He thanks him and turns to leave. SeokJin calls after him. “I’m sorry. I wanted to apologize. I didn’t mean to upset you that day at the gas station. It was a mistake to have called you pitiful. If my rash actions hurt you, I’m really sorry.” NamJoon accepts his apology, believing it to be sincere, and says that things would have turned out a lot worse if SeokJin had not intervened. Thunder rolls overhead, and NamJoon uses the impending rain as his excuse to depart. He declines SeokJin’s offer of a ride and runs home, feeling his friend’s eyes on him.

Before he can settle down to read at home, NamJoon receives a call from his cheerful mother. She thanks him for paying off the entire hospital bill. NamJoon is perplexed and asks what’s on the receipt, since he didn’t pay it. His mother wants to leave it be, but he insists that they investigate so they don’t get in trouble or sued. She reads that the Songho Foundation is credited as the payer. NamJoon calls the hospital, introducing himself as the guardian for Kim YoungMin, but they can’t transfer him to the administrative department at this time. Disappointed, he looks up the foundation’s website, unable to recall why it sounds familiar. He wonders why a scholarship foundation in the city would get involved with him. Spotting photos of a recent launch ceremony on the site, he recognizes a few people: Songju High School’s principal, the familiar-looking face of the foundation’s chairman, and SeokJin. First, NamJoon forces a laugh, and then it’s difficult for him to breathe. He thinks that SeokJin really had pitied him at that moment. The only thing keeping NamJoon going is the idea of getting through life on his own strength. Why does he have to live like this?

The last episode opens on 5 May back in SeokJin’s perspective. He is confident now that he has saved NamJoon, although it occurs to him that a better alternative may have been to simply pick up the money himself instead of stepping forward. (This decision is enacted in a later loop and depicted in the Euphoria MV.) While reflecting on what comes next to save his other friends, he receives a text from NamJoon. “What’s your account number? I’ll pay you back for the hospital bills. I don’t need your help. I’ll handle my concerns on my own.” Heart sinking, SeokJin wonders how he found out. With a sense of foreboding, he tries calling NamJoon, but no one answers. SeokJin texts him back, pretending that he doesn’t understand, and tells NamJoon to call him. SeokJin’s second attempt connects while he’s gathering his car keys to visit the container. “That’s enough. Just send the account number over text,” NamJoon instructs. SeokJin coaxes him to talk for a moment, and NamJoon asks flatly, “Are you going to apologize again?” SeokJin attempts to salvage the situation, but his friend turns cold when he insists that NamJoon is misunderstanding and that he just wanted to help. “So, why? Why are you helping me?! Yeah, you’re always a good person. You’ve done nothing wrong and I’m the one misunderstanding.” SeokJin apologizes again. NamJoon refuses his request to meet in person. “No, I thought maybe there was a reason for everything you did… But I guess I misconstrued it. I’ll pay you back, so I’d prefer if you stopped contacting me.” Long after the call ends, SeokJin stands holding his phone, feeling that the glass is going to break at any moment. He wants to believe that it’s not over, but hope is slipping through his fingertips.

The episode finishes in NamJoon’s perspective. On 8 May and 9 May, he accepts part-time delivery work and reflects on his three jobs. Whenever he thinks he’s at his breaking point, he focuses on his new goal of returning SeokJin’s money. On 10 May, NamJoon wakes up to his buzzing phone and is called in to work. On a scooter, he passes by a bus stop and notices graffiti. (This is the same bus stop, with matching graffiti, that appears in the Highlight Reel.) Mesmerized, he wonders if it’s TaeHyung’s. As soon as NamJoon looks up, the scooter’s brake fails, and he crashes. The shattered glass on the cold pavement reminds him of the headlight shard and the kid who looked like TaeHyung. (So the piece of glass SeokJin saw in April was really a memento NamJoon retrieved from the scene of the crash in the mountain town, where the delivery boy whom he privately called TaeHyung died. This event is described in NamJoon’s 17 December Year 21 entry in The Notes 1.) NamJoon’s vision grows blurry, and the distant sound of an ambulance doesn’t come any closer.

The arc concludes there, but it obviously marks another reset for SeokJin. It is interesting to note that in this failed loop, NamJoon suffers the same fate that he narrowly avoided in the snowy mountain town before returning to Songju.

Please stay tuned for the next Highlights post featuring JungKook and YoonGi!

ohh i saw your answer about the sequels of star wars. id love to read you tear through the whole trilogy

Well, I’ve avoided this ask long enough. Part of the reason is this is really a huge topic, far too much for one ask, so I’m going to have to do this at a very high level.

In short, the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy is what one gets when you slap together the goal of selling merchandise and making tons of money, being as risk averse as humanly possible, adding a handful of warring directors with incredibly different visions, and having virtually no imagination when it comes to the imagining and writing of characters.

And we get this beautiful, awful, franchise that for reasons beyond me people seem to actually like (though interestingly, no one seems to like all of it, they may actually like one or two of the films, but no one says all three are actually in any realm of good).

With that, let’s begin.

The Force Awakens

For me this is easily the most tolerable of the sequel trilogy: it’s not great, it’s not terrible. It’s thoroughly watchable, you can be taken along for the movie’s journey and not raise your eyebrows too much at the action and leave the theater feeling this maybe wasn’t a complete waste of your time.

There’s a good reason for that. That reason is called the most blatant form of plagiarism I have ever seen in cinema in my life.

“The Force Awakens” is just “A New Hope” wearing a mustache. Only, it’s one of those cheap mustaches you get from a party store that, if you stare at it too long, just looks like the most false and awful thing you’ve ever seen. The mustache actively makes it worse. “The Force Awakens” is “A New Hope”, but worse.

Seriously, every major character, every major plot point, every major scene I can go directly back to “A New Hope”.

Our story begins when the Resistance, at great cost to our valiant heroes including torture at the hands of the Emperor’s second in command, sends a file out into the wilderness to be received by his people. This file contains plans for the Death Star.

The film then focuses on Luke, er Rey, getting involved in the Resistance, boarding the Death Star, and successfully destroying at the same time even at the lost of a beloved mentor that she just met (trading in Obi-Wan for Han Solo). 

Our evil empire is run by an evil emperor who is so evil he sits in a chair, is served by very Moth Tarkin-esque human storm troopers, and has a second in command who revels in the Darth Vader get up (for no other reason that it makes him feel cool but we’ll get into this).

It’s “A New Hope”. Rey is Luke, Han Solo is Obi-Wan, Poe is a kind of Han Solo, Kylo Ren is Vader, Snoke is Palpatine, Hux is Tarkin, BB-8 is R2-D2, etc.

“But that’s not terrible,” you say, “I liked A New Hope?”

First, it is terrible, it gives a very bad sign of where the sequel trilogy is headed and is just lazy writing. It means that those who produced this franchise were so terrified of taking risks, of possibly ending up mocked as the prequels were, that they will deliver exactly what the original trilogy was. And what’s that? Uh, evil empires, scrappy desert kids, AND MORE DEATH STARS!

That brings us to point number two, the world of Star Wars after the events of the original trilogy shouldn’t support such things. And, if it does, my god what a bleak existence this place has turned into.

The First Order being able to rise easily from the Empire’s remains means that Luke accomplished nothing. Anakin sacrificed himself and had his moment of redemption for nothing. There was no happy ending to the Original Trilogy, our heroes failed miserably, and there is no indication that our new band of heroes can possibly succeed in their place. (More on this as the movies progress).

We now are in a galaxy where this new Republic is so pathetic that Leia doesn’t even give it the time of day and builds her own private army to battle the Empire. The First Order is able to not only rebuild a massive army by raiding villages on many different worlds and stealing children and do so successfully for at least ten years but is able to build a Death Star bigger than any we’ve ever seen before. 

And the movie tries to convince us these are completely new problems, that Luke Skywalker is a hero (remember this is TFA, not TLJ yet), and that somehow these things just sprung up out of nowhere. BUT YEAH, RESISTANCE, WOO!

As for Rey, she’s like... a worse version of Luke. Her only motivation through the entire series is her trauma at being abandoned by her parents. That’s it, there’s nothing else to her, nothing else she ever wants or feels conflicted by. She struggles with the dark side because... the dark side? Genetics? Unclear? She’s absurdly, ridiculously, powerful in a way that’s acknowledged but never that acknowledged (we’ll get into this) and the movies just fail to sell me on her in any way.

Honestly, an easy fix for me would have just been making Rey a much younger character. I could believe a fourteen-year-old having stayed in the desert, scrounging for scraps, believing her parents are coming back every day now. As a twenty-something year old... It starts getting hard to believe she never left. (Also, this gets the benefit of getting rid of Reylo, which is always a plus for me).

As for Kylo Ren, I legitimately walked out of TFA thinking he was supposed to be comic relief. He’s what happens when someone desperately wants a likable, redeemable, villain and we get... Well, as a reminder his opening scene is one of genocide: he pillages and destroys a town with no regret and brutally tortures a man for information. We’re told he’s like this “because evil evil Snoke” and that may well be but throughout the film (and the series) it becomes clear that Kylo Ren’s main motivation is he deseprately wants to be cool. He wants to be a badass like Vader, he dresses in Vader cosplay (either ignoring or not knowing that Vader only dressed like that because his body was completely destroyed), he has these huge temper tantrums and nobody respects him because he’s a toddler in a Vader suit. 

He murders his own father, his parents who (at least in the films themselves) show every willingness to take him back and forgive him what he’s done, so that he can fully embrace his own “evilness”. In other words, he commits patricide to feel cool about himself, then it doesn’t work. 

And the movie series really banks on me feeling conflicted about Kylo Ren or at least wanting him to be redeemed. Granted, the wider internet seems to love him, I just can’t.

Oh, before I forget, the other thing I love about Kylo Ren is that the movies insist he’s a) strong in the Force b) is equal to Rey. Rey consistently beats the shit out of him with 0 training. Kylo Ren has been training in the Force for years. Guys, they are not a Dyad, Rey is far far far stronger than he is and for whatever reason the films never want to admit it. Because I guess we like things coming in pairs now.

But yes, “The Force Awakens”, at a distance not great nor terrible, but a rip off of a movie we’ve already seen that left me going “Welp, the next one’s probably The Empire Strikes Back then I guess we’re getting Ewoks”. I was sort of right on that and sort of wrong.

The Last Jedi

So, JJ Abrams clearly had a vision of where he wanted this sequel trilogy to go. He set up these big questions such as what’s up with Finn, who are Rey’s parents and why was she left on this nowhere planet, will Kylo Ren be redeemed and how, who is Snoke, etc.

Now, I’m not saying these aren’t stupid questions. To be frank, they kind of are. Finn being Force Sensitive was the most inconsequential thing I’ve ever heard of, Rey’s parents should not have been used to drive the plot the way it was, as spoken above I’m clearly team gut Kylo Ren, and that Snoke was actually just Palpatine being the world’s largest cockroach is a beautiful but hilarious answer.

That said, what Johnson did was he decided, “You know what, I’m going to take every trope of Star Wars and completely flip it on its head and absolutely doom the sequel to this movie.”

And by god, he did.

We get a weirdly pointless movie in which Poe, SINGLEHANDEDLY, completely obliterates the Resistance. He first obliterates their bombers by failing to follow command, then goes and bitches about how he’s not put in command when he clearly shows no ability to understand how a military works, actively subverts orders which in turn obliterates the entire Resistance fleet until the only survivors can fit on the Millenium Falcon. They have no ships, no weapons, barely any people, and are ultimately doomed doomed doomed.

We have Finn’s weird subplot with a suddenly introduced character Rose in which the pair aid in Poe’s blowing up the resistance (they send sensitive information using the communication equipment of a guy they do not know, who fully admits to being shady and out for his own skin, and are flabergasted when he betrays them). 

Rose herself is this weirdly sweet person who seems forced into the plot to a) provide a love triangle for Finn and Rey b) provide this forced sunny outlook that I didn’t really need in the film.

We get Rey never really being trained, going into the Cave of Wonders for a few seconds, falling in love with Kylo Ren over weird Force Skype calls (where I did not need to see him shirtless, thank you film) and being horrifically betrayed when Kylo Ren turns out not to be a great guy. Never saw that coming, Rey. 

As for Kylo Ren, well... God, we get Emperor Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren, the Emperor. I’m not even that upset about the anticlimactic murder of Snoke (that was kind of funny, especially in the context of Palpatine going, “Bitch, please, you’re in my chair” immediately in the next film) but just Kylo Ren being emperor. And also that the Resistance only escapes at all because he’s so dumb he made their dumb plans seem smart (i.e. concentrates all his firepower on an illusion for ten minutes while Hux goes, “Emperor, sir, we could actually destroy the Resistance right now.”

Now, you’ll notice I didn’t complain about Luke. A lot of people are upset he became a grumpy, miserable, old hermit who sits around waiting for death. Frankly though, in this universe, that’s exactly where he is. He left “Return of the Jedi” thinking he’d saved the world, he’s resurrected the Jedi Order, and all is well. Only a decade later, his students are all murdered by his nephew, the Empire’s back, and he accomplished nothing. He’s an utter failure as a Jedi (though Luke never realizes he knew jack shit about the Jedi Order and was in way over his head but I guess that’s beyond him). Why shouldn’t he go sit on a rock and wait to die? 

Now, did he have to drink that blue dinosaur milk? Well, I guess it was funny, gross but funny so... Sure, I guess he did. But I do like that he gave Rey 0 training, they had one meditation session and then he whined about how Obi-Wan was such a stupid asshole. And then Rey ran off to be with her boyfriend, who then told her that her parents were gutter trash (which again, was funny, but I don’t think that was supposed to be funny).

Of the characters introduced in the movie, the only one I really liked was the hacker, and it was for the actor/the beautiful way in which he gracefully exited stage left with zero shame going, “You all knew I was going to betray you!” You beautiful man, you.

Rise of the Skywalker

First, when something is called “Rise of the Skywalker” you know you’re in for a rough time.

But anyways, TLJ was filled with a controversy Disney didn’t want (half their audience hated it, half loved it, but at least they sold those penguin dolls) so they desperately get Abrams back. Only, what he clearly wanted from his series has been shot to hell, and now he’s left with Emperor Kylo Ren, a completely obliterated Resistance, a dead Luke, a love interest he never planned to introduce for Finn, Rey’s parental crisis being solved with trash people, Snoke just suddenly dead, Hux planning revenge, and then some.

And so, Abrams goes the brave and hilarious route of shouting “PRETEND THAT LAST MOVIE NEVER HAPPENED”

We open to a fully functioning Resistance (their bomber fleet is back, their fleet period is back, they have all their fully trained personnel). We have Rey getting the Jedi training she needed this time from Leia, who is now a Jedi, because yay feminism rammed down my throat to make the audience feel better. Rose says “It’s cool guys, I don’t want to join the adventure this film, I’m going to stay here and work on robots” so that she can gracefully exit the entire plot. Kylo Ren is demoted from Emperor in two seconds when we discover that a) Snoke was apparently Palpatine b) for unexplained reasons Palpatine’s alive (and I am now convinced that man will never die). Kylo Ren tells Rey at the first opportunity that he lied about her trash parents AND REALLY SHE’S A PALPATINE! THIS WHOLE TIME, REY! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. I’M SUPER SERIAL THIS TIME, REY.

Basically, in the course of an overly long movie, Abrams desperately shoves in everything he was trying to get out of the series, while sobbing, and sobbing even harder when things like Finn being Force Sensitive or Lando having a secret daughter get caught. I actually agree with the Producers on this, by the way, the Finn trying to tell Rey something scenes were weird and indicative of a love triangle but him being Force Sensitive instead... It says a lot that the movies did not change when it was removed, at all. And Lando was just this strange cameo who was in the film to make us feel nostalgic.

And this isn’t even getting to the ridiculous 24 hour time limit (which made me think there should have been some video game style clock in the corner letting us know when Dawn of the Third Day is coming), Palpatine’s other secret army on a secret Sith planet that can be easily taken down by taking out one navigation tower, Rey’s hilarious struggle with the dark side in which she has a vision of herself in a cape hissing, Kylo Ren’s hilarious redemption in which the movie in the form of Leia and Han Solo says, “Alright, Ben, it’s time to stop being evil” and he says “okay”, the fight with Palpatine in which I’m supposed to believe he dies for reals because... I have no idea why I’m supposed to believe he’s dead. The Reylo, god the Reylo, and Kylo Ren’s tragic, hilarious, death.

And then, of course, the ending where Rey decides she’s a Skywalker now.

I actually did laugh all the way through “Rise of the Skywalker”, you can’t not, I mean it’s a hilariously awful movie. The only thing that might have made it more hilarious was if we actually did get those Ewoks.

TL;DR

They’re all bad movies, if you want more specifics than this, you’re just going to have to ask me questions.

Batman Movie Villains Ranked from Worst to Best

Recently, a YouTuber I follow by the name of Mr. Rogues released a list of Batman villains ranked from worst to best. I have nothing but the utmost of respect for Mr. Rogues as a content creator, but I took issue with his list because his long-standing biases were often the deciding factor in many of his rankings. So, I decided to do a list of my own.

I’ll be going over every Batman villain to appear in the movies, briefly analyzing their portrayals and ranking them on a scale of 1 to 5. To prevent the list from being too cluttered, I’ll be separating the villains by which movie series they’re part of. Here we go!

Burton/Schumacher Tetralogy

Bane: Perhaps the only villain in this series I’d call “bad.” The calculating tactician of the comics is nowhere to be found here; instead, he’s reduced to a monosyllabic, brain-dead stooge for the other villains. Overall, he does nothing that couldn’t be done by a random henchman. 1/5

Two-Face: A deeply layered villain in the comics, Two-Face sadly gets upstaged by the other major rogue in the movie, but that’s not to say he doesn’t leave an impression. Tommy Lee Jones gives him a manic and mercurial demeanor that, combined with his colorful design, wouldn’t be out of place in the Adam West series. The size and scope of his criminal organization make him a genuine threat, and there’s something darkly fitting about Batman’s former ally being responsible for the creation of Robin. 3/5

Poison Ivy: Mr. Rogues for some reason ranked her as the worst Batman movie villain of all time, and frankly, I don’t see why. Like Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face, Uma Thurman gives this character a delightfully over-the-top demeanor that combines with a colorful, comic-booky ensemble to make for another great “what-if-this-character-appeared-in-the-Adam-West-series” take. She does a good job juggling the differing facets of Ivy’s character: she’s the put-upon cynic, the craven opportunist, the radical eco-terrorist, and the suave seductress all in one package. 3.5/5

The Penguin: Fuck the Razzies. Danny DeVito made this role his own and set the stage for the character for years to come. He’s a bit of a departure, but a welcome one: far from the refined gentleman of crime Burgess Meredith portrayed, this Penguin is an animalistic thug warped by a lifetime of anger and hatred of the society who rejected him due to his deformities. His signature wardrobe, trick umbrellas, and Penguin gimmick are all there, but DeVito sells the role by showing amazing versatility: he can go from a comical and pitiable weirdo to a terrifying sociopath at the drop of a stovepipe hat. 4/5

Mr. Freeze: I honestly can’t say much about this character that my mutual @wonderfulworldofmichaelford hasn’t already. Arnold Schwarzenegger perfectly encapsulates both popular versions of this character: the flamboyant, pun-loving criminal genius from the Adam West series and the Animated Series’ traumatized scientist desperate to cure his loving wife of her terminal illness. Sure, the puns and hammy one-liners are what this version character is known for, but Ahnold definitely knows when to apply the brakes and give a greatly emotional performance as he tries desperately to cure his wife. 4.5/5

Max Shreck: Probably the only time you’ll see a movie-exclusive character on this list, and deservedly so. Corrupt businessmen are dime-a-dozen in Batman stories, and most of them have little personality outside of being greedy scumbags who either get defeated by the hero or betrayed by the other villains. Shreck, however, is different. Not only does he have an eye-catching fashion sense on par with any of Batman’s famous rogues, but Christopher Walken brings his signature manic intensity to the role, creating a character that’s as wicked and sinister as he is cool and stylish. You totally buy that the general public sees him as the good guy. His warm relationship with his son is also a delight to watch. 4.5/5

Catwoman: Michelle Pfeiffer does a lot to really make the character her own. She gets a lot of genuinely badass moments, but underneath all of her coolness lies the undercurrent that she’s a broken, traumatized character lashing out at the people who abused her and took her for granted. Even when she takes these ideals to unreasonable extremes, you never stop feeling like the retribution she brings on her enemies is at least a little warranted. Also, she has amazing romantic chemistry with Batman and her costume is fucking metal. 5/5

The Ridder: It’s Jim Carrey. 5/5

The Joker: This role is perhaps the one that set the standard for future Jokers to follow: Jack Nicholson’s humorous yet unnerving performance signaled to audiences early on that this would not be the goofy trickster of the Silver Age, but a different beast entirely. This Joker is a film noir gangster on crack: a disfigured mob hitman who quickly takes the entire criminal underworld by storm and unleashes his special brand of chaos and destruction across Gotham. He’s an artist, a showman, a charismatic leader, and the man responsible for ruining Bruce Wayne’s life. 5/5

Christopher Nolan Trilogy

Talia al Ghul: You know that recent trend in Disney movies where a side character we thought was harmless and inconsequential turned out to have been the villain all along in a twist with no buildup or foreshadowing with the reveal happening too late in the movie for this character to really do anything cool or impressive before being unceremoniously defeated? That’s Talia. DKR is the weakest of the three Nolan films, and I feel like it would’ve been much better received without this twist villain contrivedly shoehorned in. Also, while I could kinda forgive the trilogy’s whitewashing of other villains like Ra’s al Ghul and Bane due to the talent their actors display, Marion Cotillard doesn’t get a pass because she just doesn’t have the charisma or screen presence needed to pull it off. 1/5

Victor Zsasz: While the idea of redefining Zsasz as an over enthusiastic mob hitman instead of a serial killer is very interesting, it’s ruined by the fact that he barely even appears in the movie and doesn’t really do or say much of anything despite the buildup he gets. 1.5/5

Two-Face: Aaron Eckhart portrays Harvey Dent as a character of tragedy in a slightly different way than other tragic villains in superhero movies: he’s lashing out at a society he feels wronged him, but instead of being a lifelong outcast or put-upon loser, he was a handsome, successful crusader for the common good who lost everything he once held dear all in one fell swoop. You really feel for him even as he does horrible things. If I had to nitpick, though, I am slightly bothered by the fact that he plays some comic book movie cliches straight (i.e. they never call him by his alias and he dies at the end,) but it’s a solid performance overall. 3/5

Scarecrow: I’ll be upfront and admit that I’m more than a little annoyed that certain facets of the character had been changed in the name of “realism” — once again, they never call him by his villain name and he never wears a comic-accurate costume — but other than that, I can’t complain. Cillian Murphy plays the character with a smarmy, eerie charm that really makes his scenes stand out, his willingness to ally himself with other villains suits his character well, and the fact that he appears in three consecutive films with a different evil scheme in each really helps tie the movies together. 3.5/5

Catwoman: Much like other secondary villains in this trilogy, she really doesn’t get a chance to shine compared to the main antagonist — and, once again, it pisses me off a little that they do the whole “never refer to her as Catwoman but vaguely hint at it” thing — but she’s everything a modern Catwoman should be. She’s sly, manipulative, really holds her own in a fight, has great chemistry with Bruce Wayne... it’s all there. It’s also great to see Anne Hathaway break away from her usual type casting to play a role this dynamic. 4/5

Ra’s al Ghul: He’s a character that was in desperate need of mainstream exposure, and by God that’s what he got. Making him Bruce Wayne’s mentor adds a layer of personal tragedy to the climax where our hero has to stop the man who made him who he is from destroying Gotham with his admittedly brilliant plan. Add in a strong, captivating performance from Liam Neeson before we found out he was a racist asshole, and we’ve got one hell of an overarching villain. 4.5/5

The Joker: Everybody’s already discussed this version of the character to hell and back and likely will for years to come, so I’ll keep it very brief. He’s funny, he’s badass, he’s terrifying, he has great dialogue, it sucks that Heath Ledger didn’t live to see his performance reach the audience it got, and he basically makes the entire film. 5/5

Bane: Mr. Rogues actually ranked Bane higher than Joker on his list, and keeping it 100, I actually agree with him here. Finally, after decades of being dumbed down and misrepresented outside of comics, Bane is finally portrayed as the tactical genius from the comics. Tom Hardy plays Bane to perfection, being very believable as the peak of human physical and mental achievement, the man who broke Batman physically and emotionally. His design is iconic, his every line is quotable, his voice is weirdly fitting, and the memes are funny. 5/5

DC Extended Universe

KGBeast: Another point where I agree wholeheartedly with Mr. Rogues. He is absolutely wasted in BVS, being nothing but a generic henchman for Lex Luthor. He doesn’t wear his costume from the comics, he’s never referred to by his alias, he doesn’t have his signature cybernetic enhancements, and he never does or says anything noteworthy. 1/5

The Joker: Ugh. I don’t know what’s worst: the tacky clothes, the stupid tattoos, the weird Richard Nixon impression that passes as his voice, the fact that promotional material hyped him up as a “beautiful tragedy” of a character even though he’s only in the movie for like 10 minutes and barely does anything, Jared Leto’s toxic edgelord behavior on set done with the flimsy pretense of “getting into character,” or the fact that he’s just trying to copy Heath Ledger instead of making the role his own. 1/5

Victor Zsasz: Chris Messina proves undoubtedly that Zsasz CAN work as a secondary villain in a Batman movie. He’s once again a mob assassin who enjoys his job a little too much, but unlike Batman Begins, he really gets time to shine. He’s just as sadistic and depraved as in the comics, but he also has this disarming, casual demeanor about him like he’s just indulging a hobby instead of slicing innocent people’s faces off. His close friendship with his boss Black Mask adds some depth to the character as well. 3/5

Killer Croc: Sadly, he doesn’t get much time in the spotlight, but he’s pretty cool nonetheless. The makeup and prosthetics used to create him look amazing, and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje’s deep voice and imposing body language make him really stand out as an intimidating presence. He’s often in the background, which fits his role as an outcast by choice and a man of few words, but whenever he does get focus, he has everyone’s attention. It really would be a shame if this character’s only appearance was in a mediocre schlock action movie, but he makes the most of what he has. 3.5/5

Deadshot: Another highlight of what would otherwise be a forgettable film, Deadshot is just as cool and competent as he’s always been in other media, but this portrayal stands out for one simple reason. Will Smith was a very odd choice to play the role, but it worked out for the best here because you get the sense he truly understands the characters. He’s ruthless and pragmatic, but has just as enough charm and depth to make him likable. 4/5

Black Mask: I, like many, was skeptical when I saw early trailers depicting Roman Sionis as a foppish weirdo who doesn’t wear his signature mask, but upon seeing the final movie, I really feel like he has the high ground over other DCEU villains. Ewan McGregor is endlessly captivating in the role, portraying him as a swaggering dandy who is nevertheless dangerous due to his boundless narcissism and explosive temper. Sure, those who deal in absolutes would be put off from the differences with his comic counterpart — who is far more cold and humorless — but from a certain point of view, this flamboyant take on the character isn’t so much a departure as it is an addition to make him stand out while keeping his role the same. Black Mask has always been a middleman between the traditional mobsters of yesteryear and the colorful rogues that plague Gotham today, and this portrayal perfectly encapsulates that. He works in the shadows, but isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty; he flies off the handle and gets reckless at times, but there’s no question that the whole operation was his idea. 5/5

Harley Quinn: Margot Robbie owns this role. She’s unbelievably dazzling as a badass, funny, sexy antihero who deals greatly with tragedy and proves that there’s always been more to her than her initial role as the Joker’s sidekick. Again, not much to say, but she’s almost perfect. 5/5

i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao

it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.

anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like

bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?

so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao

so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.

i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?

but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)

so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.

but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?

also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.

because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.

so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?

because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?

and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post

so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.

and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.

and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?

ok so lets go through this:

1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????

2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.

3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?

3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?

4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"

4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)

4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!

5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.

6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"

7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE

8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this

9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—

10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.

10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing

they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.

also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever

even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD

even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird

just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.

how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.

i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?

then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)

(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)

WHOOOO WROTE THIS IN LIKE AN HOUR WITH NO EDITING HERE Y'ALL GO

WARNINGS: spoilers for the Steven Universe finale, (probably) inaccurate depictions of therapy, and mention of trauma (let me know if I missed anything)

---

Steven fiddled with the hem of his shirt, picking at the few loose threads he found hanging around. He was careful not to pull on them, though, as he was looking to avoid unraveling half his shirt during his first therapy session here. He wanted to at least try to make a good impression.

Speaking of which, he was already pretty sure this wasn't a fit for him. He'd already gotten a strange impression here. Connie had recommended he try out a few different specialists before settling on one…. Despite having not yet met the doctor, he was already uncomfortable in the space.

The sign in the waiting room had been flipped from "Quiet! Session in session!" to "Come on in, patient!" when Steven got there, so he had settled into the office room where he was supposed to meet his potential therapist. Nobody was there at first, so Steven waited for about a minute and a half, taking time to examine the room.

The office was way less serious than he'd been expecting: the bookshelves and desk were covered in cartoon and kids movie memorabilia, and the walls were bright and decorated with various animal stickers. It felt a bit too childish for Steven, who was trying to deal with his more adult problems as he grew older. He wasn't really looking to be treated like a child again.

So, yeah. He'd sit through the session and let Dad know that he wanted to try someone else.

He jumped as the door clicked open behind him, though the hallway outside was empty. Had the door opened on its own, or…?

"Tears of sorrow, tears of joy-"

What? That's… no way!

"-there'll be tears to the very end!"

Is my therapist singing...

"Food with feelings-"

...the theme song for…

"-Crying Breakfast Friends!"

Steven blinked as the doctor jumped into the office, swinging his arms wildly as he finished the song.

"Hello, hello, hello! My name's Dr. Picani, and you must be my new patient!"

"Um, yeah. Steven Universe, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, Steven!" Picani performed a deep bow, bouncing upright a second later. He sat at his desk and pulled out a journal, adjusting his glasses.

"So, what can I do 'ya for?"

"Well, I had a pretty bad breakdown recently, and I wanted to talk about it, and, um, prevent myself from getting that bad again."

"Alright, Steven. That kind of thing is perfectly normal, especially for teenagers," Picani set down his journal, leaning back into his chair. "It can be very hard to deal with the powerful emotions that come with puberty, and-"

"I don't think it was just that," Steven sighs. And fine, he's really going to try, he's really going to be open and honest with this quack.

"Can you elaborate?"

"Um, yeah. Only if, uh, if you promise to believe me. At least to listen to me."

"It's my job to listen, Steven."

And he really was listening, by the looks of things: he was leaned forward now, arms resting on his desk with his journal in hand. He was staring at Steven intently, but not accusingly. It was a gentle, almost parental gaze.

Steven felt very, very safe then, for reasons he couldn't quite describe.

"I'll start at the beginning."

"It's a very good place to start!"

"Um, right. So, I'm only half human. I'm half Gem, which is a type of alien species that made contact with the Earth thousands of years ago…"

---

"...and then, I guess I corrupted. I didn't even think I could, but I did, and I did it to myself. Nobody got hurt that time, but I don't know how to…" 

Steven paused, grabbing another tissue from the box next to him. I don't know how to what?

"It's alright, Steven. Take your time." Picani's voice was gentle and reassuring, and Steven nodded. He took a deep breath, wiped his eyes, and tried again.

"I guess I don't know how to move on. I hurt people, a lot, and I hurt myself in a way, and I don't know how to keep going after that. I don't know what to do with my life now, or, or how to recover from any of this."

"That's a lot to deal with. I'm very glad you came to talk to someone about what you've been through. You shouldn't have had to deal with that on your own."

"Yeah, I guess." Steven drooped on couch, peaking at the clock on the wall opposite him. It had only taken ten minutes to completely spill his heart out and explain sixteen years of trauma.

At least Picani had believed him. To most humans, his story would have sounded like fantasy. He was lucky to have met a therapist who take at least that seriously.

"Steven, do you watch cartoons?"

The teen in question looked up slowly at Dr. Picani, eyes wide in shock at the complete nonsequitur.

He glanced around the office again. The same plastic figures met his gaze, and something clicked.

"Do you think I'm lying to you?"

Now it was Picani's turn to look shocked and confused.

"Lying to me...? What makes you ask that?"

"Oh, I don't know… I just told you my life story, and the whole reason I'm here, and you ask about cartoons?! Like, like you're going to compare my trauma to a kid's show?"

"Er, that's not quite what I was going to say," Picani says placatingly, voice soft and soothing. Steven glares at him, but remains quiet.

"Steven, I believe you. You showed me your gem and your shield and, well, I've always believed in the supernatural. I was going to compare your life to a cartoon not because your pain is comical, trivial, or inconsequential, but because we can learn so much from the medium that I believe would help you understand some of what you're going through."

"...what do you mean?"

"Well, there's a show I watch called Crying Breakfast Friends. Have you heard of it?"

"Um, yeah."

"Good! Well then, as you know, the show is comprised of very simple and similar episodes, where characters cry over their conflicts, and then cry as those conflicts are resolved."

"Yeah, all they do on that show is sing and cry," Steven scoffs, though he smiles a little - he grew up with Crying Breakfast Friends, after all, and could probably point out better than anyone the nuances and real important of the seemingly trivial cartoon.

"Well, let's talk about that. It sounds to me like you got to where you were because you couldn't talk or vent to anyone. I would say that the characters in CBF have some of the best support systems I've seen! Everyone can talk and vent to everyone, and everyone feels safe with everyone else."

"So, I need to cry more…?"

"You need to talk about how you're feeling more. Acknowledging and monitoring how you're feeling is the first step to controlling your reaction to those feelings."

"What's the difference between controlling the reaction and controlling the feeling?"

"You can't control how you feel, Steven. If you feel a certain way, it's because you're naturally reacting to something going on in your life."

"...but I can control what I do because of that feeling," Steven brought a hand to his head and began to tap his finger on his temple. "That's the hard part, isn't it?"

"Exactly right. It'll take time and work, but the first step is to be in touch with your feelings and to understand what you're feeling and why. The characters in CBF always know why they're crying - sometimes it's tears of sorrow, other times it's tears of joy. But they always know, and knowing is half the battle."

---

"Well, Steven, it was lovely to speak with you, and I hope you come back again soon. A lot of people overlook how beneficial counseling can be! Don't be afraid to get help for your issues."

"I think I'll come back again," Steven said quietly. "I wasn't really planning on it, um, seeing how obsessed you were with cartoons. But, you made a really interesting connection between my feelings and the feelings of animated breakfast foods."

"Well, that's my job!" Picani beamed at him, and Steven could feel an overwhelming amount of pride radiating from him. "You took this first session very well. You're a good kid, Steven. Let me know when you're free for another session."

"Thanks, Dr. Picani." Steven smiled, feeling happy for the first time in awhile. "I will."

---

NOTE: I based a lot of this after my own therapy sessions but I AM NOT A THERAPIST. I can't provide real medical advice and I don't mean this fic to function as such. If you need professional help, please seek a qualified professional. Stay safe!!

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Check out Sasural Genda Phool by Angel Aruna on Amazon Music. Stream ad-free or purchase CD's and MP3s now on Amazon.com. Music lovers will surely have this beautiful song Moh Moh Ke Dhaagey in their playlist. This popular track was from the film Dum Laga Ke Haisha. Makers of the TV serial Ye Moh Moh Ke Dhaagey has taken the line of the song as their title. Sasural Genda Phool Sasural Genda Phool is a famous television light-h Read More.

Sasural Genda Phool is a famous television light-hearted family drama series aired on Star Plus. It is set in the beautiful and old Delhi 6 area, India and brings to life the characters of Suhana and Ishaan. The story revolves round the love-story of Suhana and Ishaan, how they meet, their marriage, family, etc.Suhana is a full-spirited girl, belonging to an affluent background, and brought up with all amenities and servants available for her beg and call.

Having lost her mother at an early age, she has always been very lonely. Cara instal driver sound win 7. She tries everything to get her dad’s attention but he is always busy and hence, Suhana grows up to be a rebellious person.

Having been denied love and being called un-fit for marriage by her love crush/boyfriend- Mohit, she decides to prove him wrong and agrees to marry anyone her Dad picks for her.Ishaan is a shy, warm-hearted software engineer living in old Delhi with his big joint-family. He has always failed in love and is the typical mama’s boy character who intends to marry according to his family’s choice.How they meet, fall in love and where life takes them, how Suhana having brought up in a small family adjusts to the new big family, etc.

Forms the crux of Sasural Genda Phool. It has also been known as the journey of Suhana’s character and how she finds the essence of family and its importance.

She discovers the love and care of the family and hence the name - Sasural Genda Phool.The peppy plays the spoiled brat Suhana Bajpayee Kashyup and playing the lead opposite her is the dashing as Ishaan Kashyap. Their awesome chemistry is one of the USP’s of the show. Famous ‘Tu tu main main’ bahu plays Shailaja Kashyup aka Badi Ma, Ishaan’s Aunt and his pillar of strength and opposite her is as Eshwar Kashyup, Bade Papa, Inshaan’s Uncle, who goes missing for many years, only to return back looking for acceptance from his family. And play Panna and Raunak, Shailaja and Eshwar Kashyup’s daughter and son-in-law.plays Alok Kashyap, Ishaan’s Father with essaying the character of Ranno Kashyap, Ishaan’s Mother. Other than Ishaan, they have a college going daughter Ishika Kashyup, played by the lovely.Sadiya Siddique plays the pivotal role of Radha Bua, a woman whose husband sells her to another person on their first night. She gets raped by the buyer and ends ups caring his son, Deepak, later played. Plays Kamal Kishore Bajpayee, a widower and Suhana’s Father, who loves his daughters a lot.

Plays Sanjana Bajpayee, Suhana’s Sister who later goes on to play Deepak’s love-interest and they get married after a lot of hardships and convincing by the end of the show. And play Ambarnath Kashyap and Gayatri Kashyup respectively, Ishaan’s paternal grandparents, who provide the comic relief to the show with their still budding love for each other, which has only grown with age.plays the role of Inder Kashyam, Ishaan’s Brother, and son to Shailaja and Eshwar Kashyup., plays Ragini Kashyup, Inder’s wife. They have a daughter, Meethi played by the cute 7 year old.

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Shyam Mashalkar plays Illyesh Kashyap, Ishaan’s brother and Pooja Kanwal Mahtani plays his wife Disha Kashyup.is also seen during the start as Sid, Suhana’s Ex-love interest who had rejected her; calling her unfit to be a marriage material.The show went on to become a great hit. So much that it was remade in Bengali –‘Ogo Badhu Sundari’ and was aired on Star Jalsa.

It was also dubbed into Telugu as ‘ ’ on Maa tv and in Tamil as ‘ ’ on Star Vijay. The show has recently been relaunched on Start Utsav.Sasural Genda Phool was aired from Monday-Friday on Star Plus, at 7.30pm. It premiered on March 1st, 2010 and the last episode was aired on 20th April, 2012 with a successful run of 2 years.Other dubbed versions of the serial.

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Sher n shamsher singh’s role were the best. N bhavari devi’s too but i dont like shraddha’s acting.My favourite serial piya rangrezz l love you gaurav bajaj&kritida mistry very nice too l see you everyday piya rangrezz serial world best couple for serial l miss you too much.

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Watch Free Indian drama serial Sasural Genda Phool Star Plus Live. Watch Live All episodes and latest updates Sasural Genda Phool Star Plus drama is available online. All episodes Sasural Genda Phool Star Plus Download and watch Free Sasural Genda Phool epidode is Set in the Old Delhi, Sasural Genda Phool is a heart rendering story of two unlikely characters Suhana and Ishaan. It is a love story of two strangers who fall in love after marriage.Suhana is the lovely, spirited daughter of Kamal Kumar Bajpai. She hails from a palatial house with a plethora of servants to service her cravings. Having lost her mother at a very young age, she grows up as a very lonely person. Despite his best efforts, Kamal Kumar Bajpai is not able to give his daughter enough time. Denied a mother’s love and a father’s attention, Suhana has grown up to have a legendary temper. But equally legendary is her kindness. Everyone who has seen her grow up – her family, her servants and her friends – know her to be an honest, upright person, never shying away from calling a spade a spade. Unfortunately, Suhana loses in that most complicated game of all, love. In a flick of instinctive defiance, she agrees to marry whoever her father decides for her. But the marriage starts on a disastrous note. Suhana, who is raw from a recent break up, makes it clear to Ishaan that she is not in love with him. Epitomising the nice guy that he is, he decides to give her time for her wounds to heal. And then, something happens to Suhana. Whether it is the power of the marriage mantras or the ritual of living under the same roof, a magic happens. It starts with inconsequential things – choosing a shirt for him; packing his tiffin; or personally picking the flowers Ishaan likes best. Suhana slowly begins to discover her husband. Each new day, she discovers a new facet of her husband. Each new day makes Ishaan more endearing to Suhana. And before she knows it, she has fallen in love with him – a love which is deep and solid; a love that will truly stand the test of time. The story itself will unfold in the style of a Hrishikesh Mukherjee film – laced with warmth, kindness and humour – where the human soul comes out shining brightly as a true winner. It is in the angans and gallis of this beautiful city that Suhana will discover family, love and l

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Last Shot: A Han and Lando Novel

Last Shot: A Han and Lando Novel is written by Daniel Jose Older, and it’s one of the new ‘canon’ novels in the Star Wars universe. It takes place in 3ish different timelines: the first is just after ROTJ, as Han and Lando come together to find a mysterious device called the Phylanx; the second is 10 years prior, right after the events of Solo, as Han Chewie and Sana come across the Phylanx; and the third is before the events of Solo, when Lando and his sidekick L3-73 also cross paths with the Phylanx, neither man aware how important and/or dangerous the device really is.

I was shocked to see so many 1 or 2 stars in the reviews of this book. And then I remembered that this is Star Wars, and I became sad all over again. Don’t get me wrong; I have my issues with the direction Disney is taking with the franchise, and I even have issues with this book. But for me this wasn’t any different than watching an episode of the Mandalorian or watching the Solo film. Let’s start with the positives. 

This book is action packed, filled to the brim with so many locations and characters from the SWU, and at points very funny. The pacing is fast and even, the OG characters are mostly well done, and the new characters fit well within the universe and the story. There is suspense, there are some elements of horror, and overall it’s a very quick and fun read. I think that might bother people if they come into this expecting Empire, when they get Solo, but if you go into it with proper expectations it’s a fun story, but with very little substance. That’s kind of the main issue with this book; the stakes are low and the substance is lacking. Older writes all the characters well, and it’s clear he has some interesting ideas, but whether it be because of a Disney mandate or his own lack of bravery, this book feels inconsequential. We know nothing bad or even noteworthy will happen to Han, Chewie, Lando or Leia, so the stakes rest on how much you get invested in the supporting cast or enjoy the plot. The plot is rather straightforward; it’s a fetch quest, told in 3 timelines and full of fan-service. There isn’t a single place in this book that isn’t some kind of reference or throwback to the films or the show, which made the journey fun, but what the characters are after is really just a big radio, which dramatically diminished my investment. The real draw for this book are the characters. For the most part, I found Han and Lando very accurate, with Leia being the standout; she was the most interesting one even if she isn’t in the book much. The supporting cast was a lot better; Taka was great, I loved the fact that we get an Ewok slicer (and seeing Conder was amazing, even if it was just for a scene). I also felt like Aro was a middle finger to George Lucs and anyone else who keeps hating on the Gungans. I actually liked Sana’s brief cameo here way more than I liked her in the comics, and even L3 was significantly less annoying than she was in Solo. If you have no idea who any of those characters are, that’s where we run into the first problem. This book is not a book for newbies; this is a book for fans, specifically fans of the Disney run Star Wars Universe, who have kept up with all the different media that Disney has put out. Haven’t read the Marvel Star Wars comics? Too bad you won’t get a proper introduction to Sana here. Haven’t seen Solo yet and have no idea who L3 is and why she’s talking about robot rights? I’m sorry, maybe you want to watch that first. Han is heartbroken over a girl? See point b, and watch Solo if you want to find out. I have been decent about keeping up with the SWU, but even I was lost at some points. I had to pause and read Wookipedia for the different races and characters, because I was never sure if I was supposed to know who they are from a different property or if they are just being introduced. At times, reading this felt like I had accidentally turned an episode of season 5 of the Clone Wars, when I’ve only seen season 1. Once I got into the groove, I did have fun. The characters and events I did recognize were done well, and I loved a lot of their banter, especially between Han, Leia and Lando. I actually got really invested in the new characters, which isn’t surprising; I feel like authors have a lot more freedom and leeway to flesh the new characters out, because they aren’t being constrained by Disney mandates like they are with the established ones. Even though I liked Han and Lando, I did feel like Older wrote them to be too similar. Lando isn’t Han; he’s not someone who comes up with a plan 3 secs before execution, he is a smooth talker, a charmer, a politician. Even though in the book he acts like the Lando we know, he doesn’t really talk like him; by the dialogue alone I couldn’t really distinguish them. The book also tries to juggle a few different themes, and it’s a hit or miss. For example, I really liked the discussion of PTSD and triggers; Han talking about how he doesn’t like helmets because they remind him of his soldier days, Taka and Leia’s grief over the loss of Alderaan, even Lando’s remorse and guilt over having to sell Han out to Vader to save Bespin were all done very well. But then we have what Older was trying to do with L3 and the healing droid, this tension between what a droid is programmed to do and what they think is right, which was imo done much better in the season finale of the Mandalorian. That show isn’t even about droids, but IG-11 made more of an impact and had a lot more plot relevance than any of the droids here, aka there WERE NO droids, in this story about a droid virus. Mr. Bones was a more prominent character in Aftermath, and he was programmed to tear people’s limbs off! This book also suffers from a weak villain. Fyzen Goor was an interesting premise of a villain, but much like Dryden Vos is Solo, the book doesn’t do anything with him. He’s at once a mad genius, who managed to survive for 30 years and wreck all this havoc, and yet he’s a complete non presence. He has ties with all the major crime syndicates in the Galaxy, and yet every time we see him he’s jaunting with his green backpack like he’s Bobba Fett. While I liked most of the new crew, some characters were just unnecessary. Kaasha was a potentially interesting character who had nothing to do the entire novel; in fact I forgot she was even in the plot for the entire first half of the book, and she was on the ship! She is just a love interest, and a really bad one at that; I am never a fan of female characters who are introduced to be love interests to characters who are popularly accepted (and according to Kassdan are) queer, especially with Lando, whose entire character arc revolves around her, when she herself has so little personality and things to do. Also for a book that’s set in Star Wars, there are a LOT of sexy scenes. Too many. Then we have Han whose main struggle is feeling inadequate as a father and a husband, which was also his arc in Aftermath. Look, I’ll buy that Han struggle with parenthood, but since when is he having issues with expressing emotions? He very clearly asked Leia what was happening between her and Luke in ROTJ, and expressed both his love for her and understanding if she rejected him. He’s not an emotionally stunted man, even if he would be uneasy at raising a child. The other issue is that this book isn’t about this struggle at all; he mentions Ben a few times, but for the most part Ben and Leia don’t factor into the plot at large at all. So do I recommend this? Maybe? If you like the Clone Wars/Rebels/Solo, if you have read at least the Aftermath trilogy and if you don’t mind inconsistent characterization, then I think you’ll like this. If not, then maybe skip it; I’m sure there are better Han/Lando books out there.

goodreads

Snapshot

A lil Ned/ Peter AU because these boys don’t get enough love! They’re aged up, so they’re in their twenties rather than teens, but still. Its a celeb AU also- Peter plays Spider-Man instead of being him.

“Oh my god I can’t go out there,” Ned hisses at Michelle. She looks nonplussed but she always looks like that even when there are celebrities here. Ok, there are always celebrities here but Ned doesn’t really care about most of them its just that he happens to be a huge Spider-Man nerd and Peter Parker is the best person he’s ever seen cast as the character. Toby Maguire was a travesty, and Andrew Garfield is pretty but not the perfect fit. Peter Parker though, Ned has never seen someone bring the character to life the way he does. Everything about him is absolutely perfect and now he’s sitting at a table with Tony Stark and okay this is... this...

“Ned, get your head out of your ass, he’s in your section,” Michelle tells him.

“You’ve got this!” Liz tells him over the little half wall that separates him from the kitchen area she’s in.

Yeah, he’s got this. He’s totally got this- Peter Parker is just a regular dude looking for food and Ned happens to know the food here is good. He probably eats too much of it, though to be fair he works a lot. Celebrities give good tips and he has school bills to pay for and also rent.

He starts walking over and okay never mind he does not got this he’s a lowly fat boy in school walking towards a person who plays one of the most iconic characters on television right now he is not worthy. He goes to turn around and give his table to Michelle when Peter god damn Parker notices him and smiles, waving a little excitedly and Ned has no choice now he has to go over.

“Uh, hey. I’m waiter, I’ll be your Ned this evening. I mean I’m a waiter, my name is Ned. I will be waiting. On the food. With the food, on you. Um. I’m going to shut up now,” he says, wishing he could banish himself to the shadow realm forever for that. Holy Christ he managed to embarrass the hell out of himself in less than two seconds this is the worst day of his life he hopes the earth gets hit by an astroid large enough that he’ll die long before he has to deal with poor Peter.

*

Yeah, Peter knows Ned is embarrassed but it was cute, watching him flounder a little. “Do you ever get used to that?” he asks Tony.

He shakes his head, “not really. I mean you get used to it in a way that you kind of expect it, but not in a way where you can really accept why people treat you that way. Or I didn’t, I know a lot of people who kind of let that kind of treatment go to your head and we’ve all watched what happens when child stars leave Disney. It really does fuck with people to have everyone treat you like a god only for them to turn around and get pissed off that you act like one now too.”

Shit, yeah Peter has seen that happen plenty but that’s just... not him. He grew up in Queens and didn’t even think he had a shot at landing the role of a lifetime. Hell, he would have ended up working a shitty dead end job because he couldn’t afford to go to college if not for Tony finding him at an improv group and deciding he had enough talent to fund his education. He’s always loved acting, putting on a show, and boy that has come back to bite him in the ass in really weird ways but in the end things worked out really well. Except for the part with the crazy fans, he doesn’t care for that, but that’s part of the job so.

“Hm. It wouldn’t be like... creepy to ask a fan out, right? Like because they’d be way less likely to say no to you? Would that be weird? I think that might be weird I won’t say anything,” he says, sealing his own fate.

Tony laughs, “depends on the fan and that one isn’t the type to worship you and also isn’t the type to stalk you. Keep in mind that consent goes both ways and fans are just as likely to ignore your boundaries. Maybe more, actually, since totally ignoring our privacy and personal space is considered normal and kind of encouraged. But that guy- just flustered. Probably a comic book nerd too,” he says.

If he’s a comic nerd Peter doesn’t see why he’d like Peter much. He can’t even believe the amount of blowback he got from the comic fandom over the fact that he’s trans and playing Spider-Man. Yeah, he obviously expected some blowback because that’s... well, normal not that he wants to admit that casual transphobia is alive and well. But it is, and he expected it, but the sheer amount of people that thought just that part of who he is should disqualify him from playing the character was nuts. Thankfully Peter Quill happens to be a crazy bastard and basically told everyone and their dogs to shove it because he knows what he’s doing. Which, to be fair, he does. And casting happens to be a skill he’s especially good with.

“Think you might be wrong about the comic nerd thing,” Peter says. Comic nerds are bird brains, he has decided.

“If you say so, kid,” Tony says and Peter can tell Tony thinks he’s right but he doesn’t say it.

*

Tony is trying to explain how he and Arthur Curry of all people ended up in a relationship when Ned comes back with food. Poor guy already suffered through drinks and Peter tried to talk to him to try and make him feel more comfortable but it didn’t really work. So when he comes back over Peter grins, “that smells so good,” he says and he is starving. Being stuck under film lights all day is actually exhausting work contrary to popular belief and obviously he gets fed but he’s like a bottomless pit with food. Can’t ever seem to get enough, but he’s always that way. The bonus is now that people read him as a guy no one asks if he should eat that much they just kind of assume he’s a glutton. Which, yay, because pastries.

“Um yeah, its pretty good. I’ve tried basically everything here except the caviar and the escargot because I draw the line at rich people food that sounds like it should be poor people food,” he says and Tony snorts, laughing into his hand.

“Yeah, guess fish eggs kind of do sound more like a thing poor people would eat than rich people. Weird. Also, not good- I’ve tried it and I don’t get the hype,” he says, shrugging.

“Tastes like spunk, I don’t get it either,” Tony says and the response obviously surprises Ned because he looks at Tony with a shocked expression on his face which, in hindsight, is probably why he doesn’t notice Peter’s food go overboard and into his lap. He jumps up before the hot food can do damage, then winces when the plate ends up in several pieces on the ground and Ned looks horrified.

“Its okay!” Peter says fast. “Things happen!”

“I am so sorry!” Ned says, eyes wide in horror.

“Its fine! I’ve had worse things thrown at me,” he says fast. Which is true, but also.

Ned rolls his eyes, “all those people who decided you couldn’t play Spider-Man because of some comic book inaccuracy or whatever bullshit need to look at those comics again because in issue 1034, which was released eight weeks before you even got the role, Gwen Stacy asks if you can lay eggs. Tom Holland, not you, you just play him. Whatever. Anyway, Gwen Stacy is a genius so she’d definitely know that only lady spiders can lay eggs. Also, Spider-Man is well known for his slightly high pitched voice and sure, people can argue that’s because he’s a teenager but I was sixteen once too and by then my voice was normal, so for Tom Holland to have hit puberty that late its totally acceptable to consider the effects of T on his voice and also- wait, no, oh my god. You don’t give a shit about any of this, people suck. They’re transphobes and also you have the perfect frame for it and lets be real, Christian Bale would have been a better choice than Toby fucking Maguire,” he says, flapping a hand around and wincing at his rant.

Peter raises an eyebrow, “there’s actual comic text evidence for trans Spider-Man?” he asks and Ned shrugs, cheeks turning a little red.

“I mean, you kinda gotta dig but if they can randomly make Captain America HYDRA and then unmake him HYDRA when everyone hated that shit trans Spider-Man is much less controversial. Actually, its totally inconsequential because why would that affect being Spider-Man, it just means you gotta take T and you- Tom Holland not you- got bit by a radioactive spider. Is being trans really more unrealistic than that? Because any idiot who claims realism probably need to pull their head out of their ass because the real world ain’t got super soldier serum to give you a shredded bod. Which, by the way, is my kind diet plan- just taking some experimental serum and come out hot. You don’t care about that either, oh my god, I’m getting comic nerd on a celebrity and also your food and-” Peter cuts Ned off to save him from himself.

“I think I might be in love with you, Ned,” he says and then winces, looking to Tony in a panic. Why the hell would he even say that!

“What he means,” Tony interjects smoothly, “is that he thinks you’re adorable, and he wants you number. Maybe a date, if you’re comfortable.”

Ned stares for a long moment. “Oh my god this is exactly season two episode four where MJ asks Gwen out for you even though that’s dumb because MJ and Gwen clearly belong with each other,” Ned says, eyes wide.

“Yeah I know right? Peter- Quill-” he clarifies when he remembers too late there’s two Peters involved in Spider-Man, “keeps pushing for it but stupid TV people won’t let him. So now he’s writing them as gay as possible to piss everyone off, except its kind of backfiring because now everyone thinks he’s queerbaiting but he’s not he’s queer expliciting as much as he can before someone fires him. Also yeah, I just don’t think Gwen is a good match for my character anyways, I mean she’s nice and all that but they’re kind of... platonic. Oh, um, do you know what a Miles Morales is?” he asks because Quill mentioned him and Peter has no idea who that is.

Ned does because he lets out a loud noise that’s halfway between a huff and a squeal and Peter is sure he’s never heard a noise like it before. “Oh my god they’re introducing Miles Morales! Yes!”

Tony throws a dinner roll at him and it bounces off his head, “you shit head, don’t give away spoilers!” he says like it isn’t a meme that Peter consistently gives stuff away. At this point they’ve started using it as marketing material it happens so often. Like that time he opened a supposedly internal poster on his Instagram and faked being shocked when he realized it wasn’t supposed to be public. Everyone ate it up even if they all knew it was fake- obviously it was considering the video was never taken down, but the fans loved it anyway.

“Give me every single spoiler now!” Ned says, excitement written all over his features.

Peter considers saying no but he’s not good at peer pressure, its how he got talked into doing shrooms when he was thirteen and that was a bad plan. “The multiverse explodes and one of the spider people dies but I can’t tell you which one,” he says quickly. Tony throws another roll at him for it but he can’t help it.

Ned lets out a loud screech, “oh my god if Peter Quill kills you I’ll go kill him!” he yells way too loud. People turn to stare and Peter waves them off.

“Talking about a TV show!” he assures people and Ned, to his credit, looks like he kind of wants the earth to swallow him.

“Peter doesn’t die,” Tony says, “and we’re going to leave before Dipshit McGee lets any more spoilers loose. You might not want to tell anyone any of that stuff, people will find you and I really wish that was a joke but its not. You’ll get like twelve cease and desist letters.”

“That’s true, I have like fifty of them in frames and also I’ve been banned from reading scripts until shooting schedule because I really am terrible at keeping things secret and this is really Quill’s fault for telling me any of this stuff and hey wait I don’t have his number yet,” he says and Tony drags him off.

“I’ll get his number and pay, you stop spoiling Quill’s hard work before he decides to kill you next,” Tony says.

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Are you ready to reboot and reset your relationship with food and exercise? Most programs focus on the mechanics of weight loss, but fail to adequately address the psychology of change required. Most people know more than enough about nutrition and exercise to lose weight, but fail to take action. This book takes a new approach to getting leaner, fitter, and stronger. The program uses high impact change strategies that make the process of adopting a healthy lifestyle easier. The nutrition and workout program like the change techniques, have all been proven effective and are all backed by research and scientific studies.

This book is full of change strategies and provides a blueprint for how they can be applied to transforming your body. These strategies can also be used to transform your relationships, build your career, and improve your life. You will learn the importance of creating a sense of urgency around your goal, tweaking your environment to foster new habits, finding bright spots, and generating short term wins to help you sustain momentum. Motivation is fleeting, that is why you will learn techniques to keep you stoked. You will learn how to apply solution based therapy’s miracle question to subdue personal struggles. You will learn how Starbucks teaches willpower to their baristas to produce a first-class customer experience. You will learn about action triggers, and how they are the key to adopting instant habits. You will learn how to use your smart phone to lose body fat, improve your workouts, and create new habits.

You will learn how group norms help US soldiers returning from Vietnam, overcome heroin addiction. You will learn what is often perceived as a ���people problem”, is often a “situation problem”. It is much easier to change one’s environment, than one’s attitude and behaviors. You will learn about internal struggles between your logical brain and your emotional brain, and how you can leverage their respective strengths to achieve your goals, instead of sabotaging them. You will learn to break the habit of procrastination by applying the 5 second rule. You will learn that measuring an activity, automatically modifies your behavior because of the increased attention it is receiving.

You will learn why you should prioritize strength training while on a weight loss program. Learn how to properly design strength training program, that can burn more calories than traditional cardio. Learn how to build strength and muscle based on science, not bro-science. Learn when and how to incorporate cardio sessions into your routine to get leaner, stronger, and fitter. Learn to prevent normal loss of muscle that occurs during most fat loss programs, which results in early plateau and gaining back the weight lost, and in some cases a few extra pounds. Learn three methods to keep the weight off and reset your body’s set point body weight. No foods or alcohol are off limits. This is not an extreme 12-week quick fix program. Those programs do not often work because they are not sustainable. This program is designed to fit in to your personal lifestyle.

There is a lot of inspiration in the pages of this book. In many cases, real life examples are used to illustrate the effectiveness of the strategies being taught. You will learn how an unwelcome American advisor, with meager resources, and a limited timeframe to achieve significant results, was able to solve the problem of childhood malnutrition for millions of Vietnamese children. You will be surprised to learn that solution to complex problems, are often simple if you observe the patterns surrounding them. For example, a US Military Army Officer, in Kufa, Iraq; noticed that preceding violent riots, protesters would gather at dusk and shortly thereafter food trucks would fill the plaza. After requesting the food trucks not enter the plaza at dusk, the number of riots dramatically dropped.

Most people would agree with the statement that we are the result of the thousands of decisions we have made during the course of our lives. If you are overweight, it is a result of the many decisions you make daily; particularly eating and drinking choices. Your daily habits are what make you who you are. Confucius said that “men’s natures are alike; it is their habits that carry them far apart”

What if I told you that most of our daily decisions are made automatically? The area of our brain responsible for cognitive thought fatigues quickly, and can become overwhelmed if it is force to make too many decisions. This condition is called “decision fatigue.” Many business leaders suggest that you tackle complex problems and make difficult decisions early in the day, when your energy is at its highest, and reserve less complex tasks for the afternoon. Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs were said to have simplified their lives by having their closets full of identical outfits, to avoid having to decide what to wear each day. President Obama said, “You will see I wear only gray or blue suits… I am trying to pare down decisions. I do not want to make decisions about what I am eating or wearing. Because I have too many other (important) decisions to make.”

The basal ganglia, sometimes called our primitive brain or reptilian brain, was once thought to only help control movement; but is now thought to play an important role in how we learn, process emotions, make decisions, and adopt habits. It is the part of our brain that takes over when you are performing repetitive daily activities. This primitive brain, frees our conscious mind from having to make countless decisions we face each day. Many of these decisions are inconsequential. Decisions like which pant leg to put on first, or putting Splenda in your coffee mug before creamer. It is a huge advantage to delegate these task to the basal ganglia, so the conscious brain can focus on more important decisions. Have you ever gotten into your car and drove towards your work instead of driving to your doctor’s office, even though your conscious mind knew you had a doctor’s appointment? That is because your conscious mind was not in the driver’s seat. It was your primitive brain directing action out of habit. What is habit? Habit is an automatic behavior.

Habits are not good or bad. We place those labels on them based on whether they are or are not in line with our goals, objectives, and in some cases, “perception of our own reality”. They are simply learned behaviors. “Bad” habits can be interrupted and replaced by “good” habits. You just need to muster up enough discipline to make the new routine stick. Fortunately, we can change our habits and do it quickly by creating action triggers. Action triggers create new habits almost instantaneously. You will learn more about that later.

Please stop believing the notion you are overweight or unfit because you lack the willpower, have a slow metabolism, your lazy, you do not have time, or any of the excuses we all make. Trust me, I was once an overweight kid. My father was never able to shed the extra pounds, try as hard as he did. He was always overweight, like his father before him, who died of a heart attack during my father’s freshman year in high school. In one of those life changing moments, I decided I was not going to be fat. No one would put that fat label on me. I committed to daily exercise, gave up all sweets, and no junk food. That was it, that was my plan. The only difference between me, my father, and his father before him, was that I decided to change. I was committed to that decision and doggedly stuck with it, day after day until I lost the weight, which led me into a life of fitness and self-awareness. Some might say, it led me to an appreciation of a healthier lifestyle without giving up on what most people were doing.

Exercising was the easiest part for me, I enjoyed exercising. My father introduced me to exercise. He let me use his Cement Weight set in our basement and let me read all his Joe Weider Muscle and Fitness magazines. I was at that age when you love spending time with your parents. He would take me with him when he would go running around the local reservoirs, or through the woods of Brookdale Park, in my hometown of Montclair, New Jersey. I enjoy the simple rhythmic nature of running, which always cleared my mind. I rode my bike everywhere and relished the feeling of exertion that came from climbing up Mount Hebron road, and the rush of going back down at high speeds. I can still remember our dark dank unfinished basement, my dungeon. It was the place where I first pushed and pulled weights, making my muscles get stronger.

Giving up desserts was the hardest part, made more difficult by my family’s love of it. We ate out often and everyone order desserts. It was hard, it was very hard to just not succumb to temptation. Holsten’s Brookdale Confectionery was the restaurant we patronized most often. It is still well known for their homemade ice-creams and chocolates. Also made famous as the diner in which the last scene of The Sopranos was filmed. It was tough not making an excuse. I had to ignore that voice that said, “Everyone else is having some, why should I not?” It was rough, but I was resolute. I was not going to be fat. I was going to strengthen my body like the heroes in my comic books. Silly, but I was only ten years old. I did not know what I was doing, but I was doing it. Moreover, I was doing it enthusiastically. Over time it became easier to say no to desserts, and eventually they stop asking me if I wanted any.

You are not doomed to be overweight. You simply need to commit. Without commitment, you will never start. The program will not work unless you work. This program is unique from any other program you may have tried in the past, because it provides practical tips and tricks that make the process of change as easy as possible. The high impact change techniques coupled the books nutrition program will transform your body. You will be surprised how quickly you will burn away fat, and achieve a leaner stronger body. GOOD LUCK!

____________________________________________________________________________

I hope you enjoyed reading this book introduction. Best wishes and best health!

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Book Available on AMAZON [Paperback, Kindle & Audible Audiobook]

  The book contains:

·       7 Change Strategies for Adopting a Healthy Lifestyle

·       A Flexible Diet Program that Doesn’t Put Any Foods Off-limit,  including Alcohol

·       20-Week Workout Log with Progress Assessments (Downloadable PDF)

·       3 Strategies for Resetting your Body Weight Set point to Keep the Weight Off

·       A Nutrition and Training Program Based on Science, not Bro Science.

  Most people know more than enough about nutrition and exercise to lose weight, but fail to take action. This book adopts a new approach to getting leaner, fitter, and stronger. Follow us on Facebook Are you ready to reboot and reset your relationship with food and exercise?

Cerebus #4 (1978)

Elrod! So soon? Be still my quivering loins!

I may not have understood a lot of Dave Sim's historical references when I read began reading this series in my early twenties but I sure as hell got all of his Looney Tunes references! I read the Elric books the summer after my first year of college. I was eighteen. I would have begun reading Cerebus a year or two later. I was definitely reading it by 1992 when I was volunteering with the Santa Clara Junior Theater helping backstage because I passed the first Cerebus phone book around to anybody I could convince to read it by telling them about the characters stowing away on a ship and hiding in some barrels where one of the characters says, "Nobody here but us mice!" and Elrod pipes up with, "Squeak, I say, squeak!" Goddammit that still makes me chuckle. That was my long-winded and autobiographical way of saying that I understood the Elrod/Elric parody! I sometimes think of the first 25 issues of Cerebus as being less than the rest of the series. I suppose because they're a lot of individual stories coming just before the huge 25 issue High Society story arc, they can seem trifling and inconsequential. But we're only on Issue #4 and we've already been introduced to Red Sophia and Elrod of Melvinbone, two of the series most iconic characters. And examples of what Dave Sim does so well: characterization, parody, and mimicry. Sure, Red Sophia is basically just an exaggerated mash-up of Red Sonja and Pepé Le Pew. Of course, Elrod is just a blend of Elric and Foghorn Leghorn (mostly Foghorn Leghorn with an outer glaze of Elric). But he does their voices so well and makes them completely his own, fitting their foibles and eccentricities into Cerebus's world. And Dave Sim is funny. He can be absolutely hilarious. And is it next issue already that we'll get The Roach (it is not. Next issue is Bran Mac Muffin!)? I mean, can you name a comic book that got off the starting block faster without any actual planning?! Deni Loubert announces that she and Dave have moved in "A Note from the Publisher" and not much else. Well, she does exclaim how she forgot to write her editorial. I'm getting the feeling she doesn't really give a shit about these notes and just wants to get on with the real work of getting the stupid comic distributed. In his Swords of Cerebus essay, Dave Sim admits to having never read an Elric story so I guess I probably never had to bother with it either! Although knowing the author's name, Michael Moorcock, helped score some pretty good points in Scattergories on occasion. Speaking of Scattergories and not Cerebus, I once played the game with Sam Adams (ex-Portland Mayor and also my Uncle-in-Law. He also played the assistant to Kyle MacLachlan's Portland Mayor in Portlandia). The category was "type of dance" and the letter rolled was an "L". So my answer was "Lap". Sam sneered and said, "Classy." At least it scored me points and I didn't have to cheat the way Sam and his mom did! That was the Brush with Greatness story I would have told on David Letterman if time and experiences and space were different.

I realize a lot of you are living your worst online life because you view everything on a phone so, really, don't bother trying to read this. Although maybe it's actually easier to increase the size of on a phone! Stupid laptop. I hate you now!

In this essay, Dave Sim mentions how someday he's going to write an issue with Elrod, Lord Julius, and Cerebus locked in a closet. I'm pretty sure that eventual story is the one I mentioned earlier about the mice. I believe the story takes place between High Society and Church & State, maybe Issue #50/51 or something weird like that? When they're fleeing Iest after Cerebus's run as Prime Minister ends? Anyway, it was a great idea and a well executed and hilarious sketch. The issue begins with some guy dying mysteriously to some cursed gem he stole. But never mind his story. It's over and it probably wasn't very interesting anyway. The gem, however, continues on until it winds up in Cerebus's clutches. Cerebus has arrived in Serrea to spend the last of his gold (remember, he never keeps his riches for long) gambling and drinking apricot brandy. I called it Peach Schnapps in a previous review because, have I mentioned, my memory is utter shite? This is also the first appearance of Cerebus's vest. Dave Sim says so in that essay I scanned. But I'm sure I would have commented on it without the prompt because he's so fucking adorable. Plus his snout is nearly to its regular shape and size. That means he's maturing into an adult Earth Pig. After picking up the gem, some strange shit begins to go down.

Cerebus could have been meeting the stripper love of his life but instead he's battling weird magic figments of his imagination.

Remember that thing about my terrible memory? I can't remember if Death was an imaginary character brought on by the aardvark's strangeness mixed with the gem's magic. But I do remember Elrod was some kind of illusion created by this confluence of events. One of the saddest moments in this entire series for me was when Elrod blinks out of existence. I can't say how long I was in denial about that but, month after month, I kept hoping that he'd come back in another of Dave's retcons to make sense of past stories that didn't fit his vision of Cerebus's current world and story. I kept hoping that a bedraggled Elrod would wander into Cerebus's bar in Guys having once again somehow eluded death or capture or nonexistence through his strange blundering overconfidence. Maybe my hope in the reappearance of Elrod was what really kept me reading until Issue #300! Death's plan is to have the Crawler (that's the squiddy, octopus, vagina-stand-in thing) drive Cerebus into Death's clutches. But Cerebus has a knack for winning battles by knowing when to retreat and when not to retreat. Previously, he would have died in the wizard's tower while hunting the flame jewel if he had attacked the skeleton; this time he realizes that if he keeps retreating, he will lose the battle so he presses the attack. Four issues in and I now have total confidence in Cerebus's strategic mind. He can't be defeated even by what amounted to a Great Old One! At least according to Death's description of the beast. I'm not sure Death is the most trustworthy of narrators though. Also, is he really Death? Seems like a crazy character to introduce four issues in. How many issues was Gaiman's The Sandman on before readers were introduced to their next huge comic book crush, Death? Death realizes he can't manipulate Cerebus to force Cerebus to bring him the gem. So he searches for somebody he can manipulate.

Or does he create one? I suppose that spark is the moment Elrod comes into existence.

The first half of this issue was lacking in, as Dave says, "Ha-ha." And true to form, it wasn't that great. Standard sword and sorcery fare with Cerebus battling a monster and magical forces intervene in the barbarian's life. Death isn't much of a character and the monster wasn't much more than any of the listings on a typical wandering monster chart. But then Cerebus wanders into the market to meet one of the top three characters in the series! No wait. Maybe top four because I just remembered another character I love. Whoops! Make that top six. No, no, top seven maybe? Top ten? Christ I forgot about all the characters in Guys who read that Wankerman comic book which puts Elrod in, what? Top twenty, maybe? And do we count all of The Roach's incarnations as one character or several?! Anyway, he's a pretty good character.

Is this the most iconic entrance for a character ever? You know what? Don't answer that. I already said that I hate debating other comic book nerds.

Oh man. I'd completely forgotten about how Elrod refers to Cerebus as the kid in the bunny suit. Which provides for some great imagery later when we see their first encounter through Elrod's eyes. It must have been tough living in barbarian times and also this fictional world because, once again, Cerebus finds himself drawn into a sword fight for practically no reason. I mean, there were probably more reasons for every other fight he got into, like the one against the shadow beast and the one against the skeleton and the one against the wizard and the one against the Boreleans and the one against Klog and the one against the army hypnotized by the succubus and the one against the succubus and the one against Red Sophia and the one against Thugg the Unseemly and the one against Feras and the one against the Crawler. This fight happens because he just tries to ignore Elrod and Elrod is all, "Look at my hat! It's tall and pointy!" Remember that joke from Dave's essay where he said it made him laugh a lot? Yeah, it was pretty good.

Elric's sword was black but it was not called "Seersucker." It was called, um, Black Razor? No wait! Stormbringer!

Speaking of Black Razor, does anybody remember the names of the other two magic weapons that could be found in S2 White Plume Mountain? If so, I'd like to steal your lunch money and give you a swirly. A minor bit of explication happens on the next page which describes Death's motivations for seeking the gem currently in Cerebus's possession. It's the Chaos Gem and would be the 13th magic gem in Death's collection. That would enable him to kill even more people than he presumably already kills. I figure he's eventually going to kill everybody anyway so what's the hurry? Elrod's sword shatters when Cerebus blocks his first blow and Elrod decides maybe they should team up instead. Cerebus has yet to say a word as Elrod talks enough for the two of them. Also, it's a Foghorn Leghorn parody and Foghorn's foils usually have little to say. Half the character is in the bluster and overblown confidence. Elrod gets them both in trouble with the guards and hauled off to prison.

Maybe I loved Elrod because he reminded me so much of my gaming group's role playing encounters.

Cerebus breaks his chains in prison and escapes while Elrod continues to shoot his mouth off. He's useless for anything but talk, evidence, I suppose, that he's nothing but an illusion. I'd like to believe Dave Sim retconned Elrod into being some kind of magical, illusory creation because I don't like to believe that any writer plans that kind of stuff. Why even consider if he's a real being or not this early? But Dave Sim has that bit in the Swords of Cerebus essay where he says, "He always pops up, seemingly from nowhere, with no explanation of how he got out of the fix we left him in (Aha! You hadn't noticed, had you) and an entirely new vision of the best direction for his life to take." It's almost like he's winking at us and nudging us with his elbow, daring us to guess that there's something not right with the character. Maybe Dave Sim only came up with the "Elrod is an actual cartoon character" after a few more Elrod appearances. Cerebus throws the gem in a well, figuring it must be bad luck, and Death walks off dejected that his plan failed. Who's he going to manipulate into climbing down a well?! I mean, The Roach would probably do it. But it seems like Death's heart wasn't really into killing everybody quicker anyway. He probably realized it was just too much extra work. And that's it for the story! Not much in Aardvark Comment except for this list of creatures Cerebus has fought which I did not know existed before I wrote out my list earlier or else I would have simply used it and missed out on some of them.

Also, Frank Thorne wrote another letter.

Cerebus #4 Rating: B+. Dave Sim was correct in his essay about not much really happening in this issue. It's a lot of Death hoping for some gem for some reason which he never gets and nobody ever notices he's even trying, and Elrod going on and on and on about himself. It's a good first appearance by Elrod but he's definitely better utilized when he has actual dialogue with other characters. I loved this issue so don't take it the wrong way when I say my favorite part of this issue was probably when Dave mentioned of Wendy Pini. Elfquest was my favorite thing from 6th to 9th grade. Wendy Pini and Dave Sim have this thing in common: they're two of three comic book creators whom I went out of my way to get to sign my books. The other one was Terry Moore. And I guess you could include Richard Pini but I just think of him as a subset of Wendy.

I had a series of posts about the Deadpool game and my thoughts on how the gameplay and story stacked up. My first run was on the hardest difficulty, Ultra-Violence! and the disparity in difficulty between UV! and the default difficulty Veteran makes it feel like I played two completely different games. Replaying sections also made me reconsider my stance on Deadpool as a parody game (more on that later). 

I scrubbed my previous posts and I’m putting this out so I can give more accurate account of my experiences with the game.

I still stand by some of my original points, but my issues with the mechanics are practically inconsequential on Veteran. Enemy bullets in the early game barely made a dent in my health and I could run ‘n gun all the way through the first act without any fear of death. UV! turns the game into a stop ‘n pop shooter and it made the gameplay look awfully similar to Devil’s Third, another stylish action game that tries to incorporate shooter controls into stylish action combat. I am replaying the game with a fully upgraded ‘Pool, so that might affect how hard Veteran gameplay feels compared to a fresh profile.  I’ll straight up admit that the lower difficulty definitely justifies the number of enemies that appear in the wide open arenas.

I still think it’s cheap humor to have sections in the game that are endemic to derivative game design like sewer levels and repetitive combat and then make them the butt of jokes for the game. And I still think most of the cast is squandered because they get some very scant screentime in the early game and then Deadpool remains isolated from the rest of the team for the duration of the game. The only other time Wade interacts with anyone in-game besides Cable is when Rogue absorbs his power and it becomes a convenient excuse to *technically* play as a different character.

More importantly, I still think Deadpool’s tiptoe walk is the funniest sneak animation I’ve seen in video games.

I’ve changed my opinion on the threadbare plot as well. It’s definitely a parody of tired comic book/video game stories simply because it doesn’t give an absolute fuck for why anything’s happening. The props Deadpool uses that appear to come from hammerspace during these moments add to the heightened reality Deadpool perceives besides the already heightened reality of the X-Universe. Using Sinister clones as stand-ins for enemies and some notable Marauders is part of the parody - Deadpool can play Stepmania to shock Sinister to death or run him through behind a chair and there can still be a plot thread to follow because those are all clones! The only downside to the premise is that when the game ends and Deadpool dick-punches Sinister and drops a Sentinel boot on him, it’s become a case of the game crying wolf now because we’ve seen Wade kill not-Dracula three or four times by then.

Also, even though there are so many instances of interacting with parts of Sentinels in the game, there’s never a moment where you have to fight a Sentinel and I feel like that’s a missed opportunity for a boss fight.

Deadpool opens fairly strong and ends abruptly and without any real satisfaction, but that isn’t too much of a big deal because there aren’t really any stakes throughout the story. I wished there were moments similar to Cable where Wade had to fight a horde of enemies with each member of the X-Men so they could at least have some spotlight during gameplay. Honestly, Cable should have been saved for either a possible sequel or a post-game tease and Wolverine should have been the constant foil to Wade for the entire game, and it would have been a better fit for the story because Wade’s healing factor is derived from Logan.

I still think Deadpool’s brush with Death was a filler segment that should have also been cut even though it stood out the most for the second/third act of the game. There are small hints of genius in that chapter, with the carnival rides masking Deadpool’s tragic origins as a voluntary experiment for the government so he could treat his terminal cancer.

I feel bad posting my initial thoughts on Deadpool when I played it on UV! It’s a really fun action game and the shooter / hack ‘n slash controls don’t reveal their mechanical flaws too obviously on Vet. Stick to the standard difficulty, and get upgrades that help you farm more DP points so you can buy more upgrades.

Life is Strange : Before the Storm Episode 1 : Awake

Repost from previous blog. Warning, Life is Strange and Life is Strange Before the Storm spoilers (not huuuuge spoilers but still, so you do you.)

Last night I was fixating on my ps4, watching the countdown, waiting for midnight croissant-time (Paris GMT) to be able to play Life is Strange : Before the Storm that I pre-ordered (Deluxe version that allows you to have bonus outfits, mixtape mode and a bonus episode at the end with Max). So the clock stroke midnight and I played until 3.30am.

You have to know that when I play, I go everywhere, I talk to everybody, so if you don’t, I guess you can finish it in 2h30.

I was really nervous as I hit « New Game » as I was really expecting it, to learn more about Chloe and Rachel, but knowing it was from a totally different studio and that the Chloe I fell in love with in Life is Strange wouldn’t be the same as her voice actress, Ashly Burch (a.k.a the best voice actress ever, sorry not sorry but a 71hrs platinum of Horizon Zero Dawn and a platinum in the first Life is Strange will do that to you. And Borderlands. And I mean I saved her grandpa and fought Baba Yaga for her in Rise of the Tomb Raider so…) wasn’t able to come back as Chloe. I didn't know that when I pre-ordered it, and knowing the reasons why I kind of regretted giving them money. Link if you want to know more.

So in a mix of fear and excitement I started to play and didn’t stop for almost 4hrs (except for some screenshots and pitiful tweets)

Story

No mosh pit for you shaka brah.

The story begins with Chloe wanting to go to a concert, kind of a playground intro as it shows you the ropes. You make your first graffiti (Chloe’s version of Max’s pictures), you talk to some people, you ponder in front of the fire to think about your shitty teenager life and when you try to enter, you have your first « Backtalk Challenge » which is a list of insults/arguments to help you talk your way into what you want.

So you enter the concert and then you meet your angel, Rachel Amber. And it goes really fast from there.

Basically it’s love at first sight for Chloe, and the next day you ditch school to spend it with Rachel, flirting with her like crazy (if that’s your choice -even if I feel that no matter your choice you end up making a fool of yourself) and that’s basically it. The core of the episode -minus some weird dreams about your dead father and some family drama- was Chloe trying to please Rachel Amber and Chloe falling in love with her and Rachel kind of returning those feelings but when you’re 16, nothing is simple.

Although I liked it, it felt really fast for me. I do believe in love at first sight but this story happening 3 years before the OG Life is Strange, I’m wondering how long the girls are going to spend together before Rachel goes missing. The short life expectancy of the game, being a 3 episodes game, is probably the reason why it’s all happening so fast. I’m kind of wondering if it’s not just a « let’s give the gays what they want right away » as we already know Chloe had a special bond with Rachel. Maybe I would have preferred a slower burn. Even William is on it.

The ending of this episode was kind of predictable, with a question that I read a few times « Did Rachel have powers? »

I stayed away as much as possible from trailers, theories and all but I think it was a legit question to have about DeckNine implementing a supernatural element into Before the Storm or not.

Dialogs

Ugh. Okay.

First of all, the writing.

I know we are playing a 16yo who lost her dad, but some of Chloe’s lines were so cringy it made my heart ache. In the first Life is Strange Max had some « loser-Max » lines that I thought were really funny but in Before the Storm, it looks like they are trying too hard for her to be emo. We know, Chloe is a rebel. But shit.

And in another hand, some lines made me burst into laughter. The scene with Rachel where they invent people’s life was really funny, Chloe’s « flirting » skills felt real and spoke to the 16yo me, and that tabletop game session was one of the best thing I’ve seen in a while (I suspect someone with A.B initials helped write that but I obviously don’t have any proof of that.) written by Christopher Means.

…

Some prime Chloe Price as « People can eat a dick », her love of booty and of course her first mention of « hella » were mandatory but the delivery of those lines. Man.

I’m not going to compare the actors with the previous ones (not only Chloe’s voice actor changed but basically all of them -although I have doubts about Chloe’s mom but she doesn’t have the same Southern accent so…) because it wouldn’t be fair. But in my opinion Chloe’s voice actress, even though I’m sure she did the best she could, was flat. Her delivery was pretty monotone and even if sometimes I was hearing the old Chloe in the musicality of her voice, it wasn’t it a lot of the time. Rachel’s voice was a lot better than I expected for the few images I saw before, but in the end it was really a shame that seeing the characters you once knew and loved/hated meant you wouldn’t be able to hear the characters you once knew and loved/hated.

There was also another problem in the rhythm of the dialogs that were in « cutscenes » (meaning you don’t have a say in them) as there was some latence at some points, like a silence before the second part of a sentence or when someone answers to someone else. I guess it could be fixed to make it a bit snappier and more real.

Characters

Chloe Price

As I said before we meet a younger natural haired colored Chloe, and the roles are kind of reversed with the OG Lis. In Before the Storm, Chloe is the one trying to follow Rachel’s idea, trying to please Rachel, to be cool with the most popular girl in Blackwell. She’s not the alpha to Max’s beta anymore. She lacks confidence, she doesn’t have friends and it pains her.

Rachel Amber

Aaaah Rachel. Rachel Rachel Rachel. We heard so much about you. Blackwell’s most popular girl. You didn’t disappoint. Witty and sassy and sexy. Just like Chloe. It’s kind of difficult to trust her, knowing what we know from the OG Life is Strange, so I’m not giving her my heart just yet (you know, the pics in Frank’s trailer and stuff). Even though the choices were pretty easy to do as we know Chloe loves her (asshole).

Old Faces

Funny to see Nathan being bullied, Victoria being Rachel’s kiss ass, the science teacher and the skater we knew Chloe was familiar with in Lis. And Frank I hope you’ll have some beans.

New Faces

I decided that Eliot is the new Warren. Except he may be Chloe’s bf ? Ex-bf ? He left a note about a two month anniversary and Chloe said her v-card had been punched (that was hilarious btw).

I really liked Stephanie, she was really something. Can I please date her instead? Even if she crushes on Rachel.

We got a new bully, a guy named Drew who bullied Nathan (whom we learned bought his way into the team) and we have a new security guy who makes really good music.

Choices

Before the Storm works on the same mechanics as Life is Strange, meaning you have choices to make. The ones you faced in episode one seemed pretty inconsequential, but I guess the game being a prequel doesn’t give you much options to change the story. Unlike Max, it’s really nice that they don’t torture us after every choice, knowing you can’t undo them. (I’m thinking about the paint on Victoria’s face, whether you chose to take a pic or be nice to her, once you did what you did Max automatically say she should have chosen the other option.) Although you have a very easy way to go back with the « Load last save » option which is an easy way to explore other dialog options or other choices.

But it’s kind of hard when you know what you know. I chose to help Nathan, but it won’t change what will happen in Life is Strange. And I was kind of nice to David even though you can’t betray LiS Chloe as it wouldn’t make sense to have her being super nice to him and then angry in the sequel.

But honestly, the best option of the game was probably being able to pet the dog.

Life is Strange legacy

There were a lots of elements reminding me of Life is Strange (as it should) with a lot of mentions of Max that freaking broke my heart. You are able to see Chloe’s texts and Max not answering (freaking bitch) and you had some nods to the LiS plot as Rachel saying she could just leave at any given moment without telling anybody.

The soundtrack is in the line of the first one but a little bit more rock to fit Chloe’s taste, and the bonus outfit with the design we knew as Max’s was a sweet idea. Some line as a guy wanting Rachel to pose for his portfolio. (I’m obviously not going to list everything)

Chloe is also keeping a journal that she dedicated to Max because she doesn’t want to risk her not answering and damn, my heaaaart. There are a lot of little things screaming « Chloe is gaaaaay » and I honestly wish it was a little more subtle (but nice Blade Runner dream Chloe.)

It’s also difficult as a Pricefield shipper to be totally into it, because in my heart Chloe belongs with Max, someone that truly appreciates her, never used her and because we were Max. So we wanted her to be happy. Even if we knew Chloe loved Rachel. But without Rachel there wouldn’t be a blue haired Chloe Price so I have to put her needs and her young love before my own agenda.

Next episodes From the pictures presenting the two next chapter, we can assume that the girls will go on a roadtrip, probably to try to leave Arcadia Bay. And in the last pic, Chloe is wearing a flannel we all know as the “ready for the mosh pit shaka-brah” shirt and her legendary tri-bullet necklace.

So yeah, it’s a prequel to Life is Strange, from another studio, with new actors, but overall it was pretty decent and I’m looking forward to the next chapter (even though they lose points for using Comic Sans a few times.) I really got the feels at some point, I laughed, I got really emotional during the junkyard scene with the car, and even though it wasn’t perfect, I still want to protect Chloe Price at all costs. So that’s a win. Not a huge win. But it’s one. Quack - Monotony of Chloe’s voice Lots of loading points Things moving too fast between Rachel and Chloe Dialogs lacking rhythm Lines that make you want to stab yourself The graffiti are really easy to find You can’t skip forward in collector mode Too much gay (not subtle enough) Most of the small choices you make just change one line of the other choice Use of Comic Sans The time I had to pause the game because my cat was playing with the biggest spider I’ve ever seen.

Quack + Legacy of the first LiS respected (ost, graphics, nods in the storyline) Better graphics than first game but still in that same line Some hilarious lines The tabletop game You can pet the dog All the gay

Congratulations Alex! You have been accepted as The Hermit! (FC: Freddie Highmore)

Gavin was a really great choice for The Hermit! He’s a wonderfully fleshed out and unique character, and we’re interested to see how he fits into the mix as a neutral player, Alex! Make sure to follow the checklist and send us your account within 48 hours! WELCOME TO THE ARCANA RING, ALEX. WE HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR STAY.

Out Of Character Information

Name: Alex

Pronouns: He/Him

Age: 21

In Character Information

Skeleton: The Hermit

Faceclaim: Freddie Highmore, Logan Lerman, Nicholas Hoult, Tom Holland

Full Name: Gavin Mason Crow

Age: 25

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Asexual

A Note: I have written Gavin as having Asperger’s Syndrome. This is a form of Autism that affects his ability to socialize and communicate well. It is currently diagnosed as a part of Autism Spectrum Disorder, but at Gavin’s age he would have been given the diagnosis of Asperger’s. I have worked extensively with this disorder and am quite well informed on it. As with all things, I will do my best to address this topic as respectfully as possible. However, if you have concerns or questions about this, please let me know. I will explain how this affects him in the personality section.

Character Bio:

Past:

Gavin was born the third of four to an overwhelmed and underprepared middle-class family. The children were born close together, only four years between Gavin and his older brother and less than two between him and his younger sister. Four under seven was a handful in and of itself, but it became worse as it became obvious that Gavin was lagging behind the others. At first, his frazzled parents just assumed the delayed improvement was just him growing up at his own pace. However, as his younger sister’s vocabulary started to surpass his and he started to pull away even more from spending time with his siblings, his parents realized that perhaps there was something a bit more going on with their youngest son. It was the meltdowns, occurring nearly every time things got too loud or bright, that eventually got them to give up and seek professional help.

He was eight before the diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome was given. To the boy, the diagnosis unsurprisingly meant nothing, not even worth a pause in his current fascination of counting items around the room. However, to his parents this news was devastating, they had maintained hope that this was something “fixable” and not something that would stay with their son for the rest of his life. There was an upside to the diagnosis though, now that they knew the issue steps could be taken to work with it. Through therapy, Gavin did begin to speak more frequently and was starting to get better control over his meltdowns. While still quirky and behind where was “normal” for his age range, he was finally making progress.

By middle school, he was at the same intelligence level as peers his age, which meant that he could join the regular classes most of the day. This may have been good for his education, but it was very hard on him personally. He still had very poor social skills and got obsessive over his special interests. That, in combination with the fact that he came from the special education wing, did not bode well for his social status. He was bullied mercilessly when his siblings weren’t around. His older brothers got in a lot of fights those years, but Gavin did not care about the teasing he got on a regular basis. He just cared about his action figures and finding people who wouldn’t interrupt him when he told them about all that he had collected. Those people were few and far between though, and that, more than the bullying, made him feel like there was something wrong with him.

           High school was a better time. Gavin was still more socially awkward than your average freshman geek was, but at least now people knew better than to mock the guy with Asperger’s. He wasn’t exactly a bright student, but he was average. Until, one day when he was 16, he discovered the love of his life: computers. Obviously, he had seen and used computers before, but the first semester of his junior year he took a programming course and everything just clicked. Code was something that he could understand and manipulate. Unlike other people, he could hold a conversation with a computer, telling it what needed to be done and how to do it and getting the results he wanted. He learned code quickly, once he sets his mind to something it won’t take him long to get it done.

           Computers weren’t the only thing that made that class great though, there was also George. Despite high schoolers being kinder than their middle school selves, Gavin still did not have any friends outside of his siblings. This did not really bother him, per se, but he still was quite pleased by the prospect of having someone to discuss his newfound love with. George did not mind that Gavin would ramble on about the same things that they had talked about yesterday, nor did he really care that the other boy wouldn’t really carry on a conversation about something else that often. They would stay up late coding little programs and turning hacking into a game, taking turns playing the defender while the other tried to get past firewall after firewall. Their friendship forced Gavin to go outside of his comfort zone. It did not take long for him to realize that George was going to do things whether Gavin wanted to or not. So, if he wanted to talk to George about the code that they had been working on the night before, he had to go to the comic book store whether he wanted to or not.

           Once he had graduated high school, Gavin was a bit lost. There was a sudden loss of structure in his life that he had relied on, and George was moving away to go to university. Gavin wanted to follow his friend to university, but just going to the campus tour was enough to show him and his parents that being on site for university was not going to be for him. He ended up in a two year online program for computer sciences. This was the first time Gavin was actually bothered by his disability. He saw his siblings and friend move out and away, while he was still at home dependent on his parents. It was a feeling that he couldn’t fully shake, that he wasn’t “right” like the others were.

           After finishing his degree, things started to look up. His father’s company needed a part time computer tech and he was able to find freelance coding jobs on the side. It wasn’t exactly a high paying position, but it was a stable income and he enjoyed the work. Plus, he wasn’t expected to work face to face with others, most of his work could be done from home and that which couldn’t was usually by himself as well. Eventually he was able to make enough that he could move into a modest apartment for himself, not too far from his parents but enough that he felt more independent.

Present:

           Since then, Gavin has continued to do well for himself. In the five years since he graduated, he has built a name for himself in freelance coding. He also managed to build a name for himself in the hacker communities. Initially, the hacking jobs had been a way to connect with George despite being separated, a sort of competition of who could do the most impressive hacks. They wouldn’t mess up anything, just get enough evidence to prove that they had done it.  As time went on, George took part in this less and less, but Gavin thrived in the environment and continued to share his accomplishments with the online community well after his friend had fallen off the radar.

           It was likely this infamy that had the Arcana knocking on his door late one night. He didn’t want to open the door, but the pounding was so insistent that he feared they would come in one way or another. They didn’t really give him much choice in the matter, simply giving him instructions and a date to have it done by and motivating him with the threat of revealing who he was to the authorities. Gavin may not always be the fastest on the uptake with veiled statements, but he was able to tell that the authorities would not be as amused by his hacking escapades as the other hackers. So, he did the job, and he did it well. It was a fairly simple task, but the mob paid well. He became accustomed to their requests, though he would always refuse their offers to have him join. He is, after all, a freelancer.

Personality:

           Gavin has Asperger’s Syndrome. This disorder affects him in a few different ways, but the main one is his ability to socialize. He can have a hard time socializing, understanding social cues, and properly expressing himself. His speech is more formal than that of his peers, and he struggles to understand idioms and slang. He will take people at their word most of the time, and will have a hard time understand jokes and sarcasm. He can be a bit of a chatter box, and will ramble on about the things that he is currently interested in at great length if given the chance. He has a hard time sorting his thoughts into private thoughts and thoughts to verbalized, so if surprised or nervous he often blurts out whatever is on his mind. Another effect of his disorder is that he does not like changes in his routine, and will often get upset at differences that others might consider inconsequential. Despite being generally free of any outside deadlines and expectations, Gavin will set strict routines and schedules for himself to follow. Finally, his Asperger’s has come with two other diagnosis, general anxiety disorder and sensory processing disorder. His anxiety is well managed with his medication, but the sensory processing will still affect him if put in a situation with too much external stimuli.

           He comes off as rather cold or anxious to those who do not know him. He may also come off as cold to those he does care about, but that is not truly the case. Instead it is just because he has a hard time showing care and empathy. He looks up to people who are able to do what he is not, such as The Chariot who is able to experience the world out in it instead of just from behind the computer screen. He will not pay attention or will get frustrated with subjects that do not interest or affect him. However, he gets overly excited about things that he does care about. He does have anxiety issues that become apparent in situations that make him nervous. However, in the day to day he usually seems content and has a generally positive outlook on things.

Extras:

-          Gavin’s cat is a charcoal gray ragdoll named Smokey. He got him when he was first moving out of his parent’s house so that he would not be completely alone. Thus far the this has proven to be sufficient companionship for Gavin, and Smokey is rather spoiled.

-          Aside from coding and hacking, Gavin’s only other special interest right now is online card collecting games. His favorite is Hearthstone because he views it as the most accessible; however, he also frequently plays Elder Scrolls: Legends, Hex: Shards of Fate, Magic Online, and Faeria. This interest is the only thing he spends money one outside of the basic requirements for living and working. Whenever a new expansion for one of these games comes out, he will purchase packs until he has a complete collection of all the cards. Since these games are based in strategy, something Gavin easily understands, he usually ranks well. However, he gets easily frustrated if he is put up against decks that do not follow the current meta because he doesn’t know what to expect from them. He does not understand why people would play things that are not the strongest of their class.

-          The rise of Amazon and other online ordering services has served Gavin well. Since he views leaving the house as unnecessary, he orders everything he needs online. He has this process almost down to a science, and has a monthly schedule for when everything needs to be reordered in order to be there when he needs it.

-          Gavin has two handles that he uses for his hacking job. The first one is his personal one, under which most of his achievements are known. Under this identity, he does hacking for the fun of it and to prove that he can. This handle is the most well known in online communities and is TheCr0w. It is pulled from his last name, though if asked he will say it is because he likes the bird, which is one of the few instances Gavin will lie in.

-          The second handle is TheHermit. This name is pulled from the nickname that he overheard Justice calling him one day, apparently a moniker that was becoming quite common around the Arcana Ring. Under this handle, he does all of his mob related hacking jobs. This is in hopes that if he gets caught under one, the actions of the other will remain secret.

Proposed Relationships: Subject to change, I don’t really like fleshing relationships out much without the other person’s input. orz

-          His Family: Gavin still maintains a good relationship with his parents and siblings. They are the only people he will leave his apartment to see. His siblings are spread out throughout France, but his parents live a few blocks away so he will go have dinner with them every Sunday. His mother especially worries about him on his own, but he’s proven himself capable of taking care of himself… and calling her when he’s not.

-          George: Their friendship lasted until a year after George finished his degree. After that point, he got busy with work and a girl, and stopped having time for hacking with Gavin. Gavin doesn’t have any ill will about it though, he understands that most people aren’t like him: content with just a computer and a cat.

-          The Chariot: A friendship that Gavin really didn’t expect when he first hopped into Rowen’s car on the way to a job that required him to be on site. But there was something about driver that appealed to him. Perhaps it was his personality, or perhaps it was just the fact that Gavin admires how Rowen can be out in the world seeing it for himself instead of hiding behind a computer screen, but Gavin always enjoys their time together. Even if it usually is just the occasional taxi’ing in the dark.

-          Justice: Yet another friend Gavin didn’t expect to make. He’s always known what Louis was, and despite his normal anxiety, he just does not have trouble near the silent man. There’s a sense of purpose and justice to Louis that Gavin admires, a willingness to do things that are right and not just what he wants that Gavin has such a hard time emulating and understanding. Plus, the silent assassin seems willing to listen to the hacker’s nervous rambling which always helps Gavin’s opinion of someone.

-          Death: Gavin does not really know what about Jackson makes him so nervous, but something surely does. Most of the Ring and its associates have become familiar enough to him that they only trigger the normal amount of anxiety, but Death is an extreme outlier. There feels like a darkness over Jackson that just sucks the confidence out of Gavin, especially when the older man tries to get him to meet his eyes. Gavin avoids being alone with Death and will grow silent when near him.

Mock Blog: thecr0wsnest.tumblr.com highly under construction at time of submission

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Are you ready to reboot and reset your relationship with food and exercise? Most programs focus on the mechanics of weight loss, but fail to adequately address the psychology of change required. Most people know more than enough about nutrition and exercise to lose weight, but fail to take action. This book takes a new approach to getting leaner, fitter, and stronger. The program uses high impact change strategies that make the process of adopting a healthy lifestyle easier. The nutrition and workout program like the change techniques, have all been proven effective and are all backed by research and scientific studies.

This book is full of change strategies and provides a blueprint for how they can be applied to transforming your body. These strategies can also be used to transform your relationships, build your career, and improve your life. You will learn the importance of creating a sense of urgency around your goal, tweaking your environment to foster new habits, finding bright spots, and generating short term wins to help you sustain momentum. Motivation is fleeting, that is why you will learn techniques to keep you stoked. You will learn how to apply solution based therapy’s miracle question to subdue personal struggles. You will learn how Starbucks teaches willpower to their baristas to produce a first-class customer experience. You will learn about action triggers, and how they are the key to adopting instant habits. You will learn how to use your smart phone to lose body fat, improve your workouts, and create new habits.

You will learn how group norms help US soldiers returning from Vietnam, overcome heroin addiction. You will learn what is often perceived as a “people problem”, is often a “situation problem”. It is much easier to change one’s environment, than one’s attitude and behaviors. You will learn about internal struggles between your logical brain and your emotional brain, and how you can leverage their respective strengths to achieve your goals, instead of sabotaging them. You will learn to break the habit of procrastination by applying the 5 second rule. You will learn that measuring an activity, automatically modifies your behavior because of the increased attention it is receiving.

You will learn why you should prioritize strength training while on a weight loss program. Learn how to properly design strength training program, that can burn more calories than traditional cardio. Learn how to build strength and muscle based on science, not bro-science. Learn when and how to incorporate cardio sessions into your routine to get leaner, stronger, and fitter. Learn to prevent normal loss of muscle that occurs during most fat loss programs, which results in early plateau and gaining back the weight lost, and in some cases a few extra pounds. Learn three methods to keep the weight off and reset your body’s set point body weight. No foods or alcohol are off limits. This is not an extreme 12-week quick fix program. Those programs do not often work because they are not sustainable. This program is designed to fit in to your personal lifestyle.

There is a lot of inspiration in the pages of this book. In many cases, real life examples are used to illustrate the effectiveness of the strategies being taught. You will learn how an unwelcome American advisor, with meager resources, and a limited timeframe to achieve significant results, was able to solve the problem of childhood malnutrition for millions of Vietnamese children. You will be surprised to learn that solution to complex problems, are often simple if you observe the patterns surrounding them. For example, a US Military Army Officer, in Kufa, Iraq; noticed that preceding violent riots, protesters would gather at dusk and shortly thereafter food trucks would fill the plaza. After requesting the food trucks not enter the plaza at dusk, the number of riots dramatically dropped.

Most people would agree with the statement that we are the result of the thousands of decisions we have made during the course of our lives. If you are overweight, it is a result of the many decisions you make daily; particularly eating and drinking choices. Your daily habits are what make you who you are. Confucius said that “men’s natures are alike; it is their habits that carry them far apart”

What if I told you that most of our daily decisions are made automatically? The area of our brain responsible for cognitive thought fatigues quickly, and can become overwhelmed if it is force to make too many decisions. This condition is called “decision fatigue.” Many business leaders suggest that you tackle complex problems and make difficult decisions early in the day, when your energy is at its highest, and reserve less complex tasks for the afternoon. Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs were said to have simplified their lives by having their closets full of identical outfits, to avoid having to decide what to wear each day. President Obama said, “You will see I wear only gray or blue suits… I am trying to pare down decisions. I do not want to make decisions about what I am eating or wearing. Because I have too many other (important) decisions to make.”

The basal ganglia, sometimes called our primitive brain or reptilian brain, was once thought to only help control movement; but is now thought to play an important role in how we learn, process emotions, make decisions, and adopt habits. It is the part of our brain that takes over when you are performing repetitive daily activities. This primitive brain, frees our conscious mind from having to make countless decisions we face each day. Many of these decisions are inconsequential. Decisions like which pant leg to put on first, or putting Splenda in your coffee mug before creamer. It is a huge advantage to delegate these task to the basal ganglia, so the conscious brain can focus on more important decisions. Have you ever gotten into your car and drove towards your work instead of driving to your doctor’s office, even though your conscious mind knew you had a doctor’s appointment? That is because your conscious mind was not in the driver’s seat. It was your primitive brain directing action out of habit. What is habit? Habit is an automatic behavior.

Habits are not good or bad. We place those labels on them based on whether they are or are not in line with our goals, objectives, and in some cases, “perception of our own reality”. They are simply learned behaviors. “Bad” habits can be interrupted and replaced by “good” habits. You just need to muster up enough discipline to make the new routine stick. Fortunately, we can change our habits and do it quickly by creating action triggers. Action triggers create new habits almost instantaneously. You will learn more about that later.

Please stop believing the notion you are overweight or unfit because you lack the willpower, have a slow metabolism, your lazy, you do not have time, or any of the excuses we all make. Trust me, I was once an overweight kid. My father was never able to shed the extra pounds, try as hard as he did. He was always overweight, like his father before him, who died of a heart attack during my father’s freshman year in high school. In one of those life changing moments, I decided I was not going to be fat. No one would put that fat label on me. I committed to daily exercise, gave up all sweets, and no junk food. That was it, that was my plan. The only difference between me, my father, and his father before him, was that I decided to change. I was committed to that decision and doggedly stuck with it, day after day until I lost the weight, which led me into a life of fitness and self-awareness. Some might say, it led me to an appreciation of a healthier lifestyle without giving up on what most people were doing.

Exercising was the easiest part for me, I enjoyed exercising. My father introduced me to exercise. He let me use his Cement Weight set in our basement and let me read all his Joe Weider Muscle and Fitness magazines. I was at that age when you love spending time with your parents. He would take me with him when he would go running around the local reservoirs, or through the woods of Brookdale Park, in my hometown of Montclair, New Jersey. I enjoy the simple rhythmic nature of running, which always cleared my mind. I rode my bike everywhere and relished the feeling of exertion that came from climbing up Mount Hebron road, and the rush of going back down at high speeds. I can still remember our dark dank unfinished basement, my dungeon. It was the place where I first pushed and pulled weights, making my muscles get stronger.

Giving up desserts was the hardest part, made more difficult by my family’s love of it. We ate out often and everyone order desserts. It was hard, it was very hard to just not succumb to temptation. Holsten’s Brookdale Confectionery was the restaurant we patronized most often. It is still well known for their homemade ice-creams and chocolates. Also made famous as the diner in which the last scene of The Sopranos was filmed. It was tough not making an excuse. I had to ignore that voice that said, “Everyone else is having some, why should I not?” It was rough, but I was resolute. I was not going to be fat. I was going to strengthen my body like the heroes in my comic books. Silly, but I was only ten years old. I did not know what I was doing, but I was doing it. Moreover, I was doing it enthusiastically. Over time it became easier to say no to desserts, and eventually they stop asking me if I wanted any.

You are not doomed to be overweight. You simply need to commit. Without commitment, you will never start. The program will not work unless you work. This program is unique from any other program you may have tried in the past, because it provides practical tips and tricks that make the process of change as easy as possible. The high impact change techniques coupled the books nutrition program will transform your body. You will be surprised how quickly you will burn away fat, and achieve a leaner stronger body. GOOD LUCK!

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I hope you enjoyed reading this book introduction. Best wishes and best health!

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Book Available on AMAZON [Paperback, Kindle & Audible Audiobook]

  The book contains:

·       7 Change Strategies for Adopting a Healthy Lifestyle

·       A Flexible Diet Program that Doesn’t Put Any Foods Off-limit,  including Alcohol

·       20-Week Workout Log with Progress Assessments (Downloadable PDF)

·       3 Strategies for Resetting your Body Weight Set point to Keep the Weight Off

·       A Nutrition and Training Program Based on Science, not Bro Science.

  Most people know more than enough about nutrition and exercise to lose weight, but fail to take action. This book adopts a new approach to getting leaner, fitter, and stronger. Follow us on Facebook Are you ready to reboot and reset your relationship with food and exercise?