Tumgik
#he does it all the time and it is so cute :3
maplesyrupsainz · 2 days
Note
hi hi! I really like your imagines <3
Could I request a Charles imagine? Where the reader is the daughter of Toto Wolff and she and Charles have been secretly dating. After Charles wins the WDC, the reader hardlaunches their relationship and everyone is freaking out about it.
Thank you sm!!
pairing: charles leclerc x wolff!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: imagine/smau
warnings: just fluff, kind of short too
prompt: custom you and [driver] are finally ready to hard launch your relationship
a/n: this request inspired something in me LOL hope u like it?! wasnt sure if the req wanted smau or written but u got both instead LOL
my masterlist | my 1k celebration
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instagram ->
ynwolff
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liked by georgerussell63, charles_leclerc, and 396,184 others
ynwolff merc girl lifeeeee
view all 6,273 comments
user1 helloooo?? the flowers
user2 i bet she gets 100 bouquets a day
user3 i wish i had her life
user4 world's best nepo baby
charles_leclerc would look better in ferrari merch
ynwolff you would say that
mercedesamgf1 back off
charles_leclerc 👀
messages ->
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˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
at first, the idea of sharing your relationship with the world terrified you. the things people might say, what they'd think. but, you realised, as time progressed, that the idea of not sharing and people not knowing about your relationship seemed even scarier; you were becoming somewhat desperate to let the world know that charles leclerc was your boyfriend.
the only issue was gaining your father's approval. you had convinced yourself it would be easy to obtain, but the harder you thought about it the less you agreed with that sentiment. but, you couldn't hide forever.
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
the formula one season had flown by you in a rush of lights; you blinked and it was almost over. it had been a thrilling title fight between max verstappen and charles, and this race was the decider.
you're pretty sure that you didn't take a breath for the whole race, closing your eyes on multiple occasions. no one knew what had you so invested in this race in particular; being the mercedes team principal's daughter, you had come to many a race and tended not to be that interested in the sport. in truth, you did enjoy it but it had been your whole life, you assumed it was normal to become somewhat burnt out.
twitter ->
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˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
you had never ran quite like it; from the mercedes garage to ferrari. all you knew was that you had to be there for him when he got out of the car. in that moment, you didn't care who saw or what they thought or if they found out the truth about your relationship with charles. all that mattered was him.
and when you saw him, you knew he felt the same as you did. you broke out into a grin as his eyes caught yours and, before you knew it, his lips were on yours and your face in his hands. shutter sounds and flashings of cameras surrounded you, your head spinning, your heart swelling with pride; your boyfriend had won his first drivers' championship.
instagram ->
f1wagupdates
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liked by charles_leclerc, susie_wolff, and 183,274 others
f1wagupdates after an olympic-esque dash from the mercedes garage to ferrari, y/n wolff joined charles leclerc in the celebration of winning his first ever wdc! is this the hard launch of a secret relationship? what does toto think? 👀 thoughts?
tagged: charles_leclerc, ynwolff
view all 11,183 comments
user5 CHARLES IS THE ONE WHO GOT HER THE FLOWERS
user6 omg i never would've guessed this
user7 charles AND susie in the likes omg😭😭😭
user8 OMG OBSESSED WITH THESE TWO
user9 the way she ran
user10 literally soo iconic
user11 me when
ynwolff
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liked by charles_leclerc, susie_wolff, and 679,926 others
ynwolff sorry dad
tagged: charles_leclerc
view all 14,273 comments
user12 the tshirt HAHAHA
user13 omg she's so real
user14 i still cant believe this
user15 THey R SO CUTE WTF
user16 how did they keep this a secret omg
susie_wolff i love my new son in law!
charles_leclerc 🥰🥰
ynwolff love you 🙆‍♀️
user17 ofc susie loves them tgthr
user18 wonder what toto thinks 💀
user19 the caption
user20 him bringing her breakfast in bed omg
user21 this is all i'll ever talk abt ever again
user22 f1 twt found dead
user23 we lost a real one gang (y/n wolff)
charles_leclerc love my girl
yourusername 🥺 love you crazy amounts
user24 STOP ITTTT
lewishamilton y/n toto said answer the phone
ynwolff my phone is dead rn sorry
user25 💀
681 notes · View notes
sharlsworld · 3 days
Text
⋆⭒˚.⋆ i heard - ʟɴ4 ☆
✿ lando norris x influencer!reader (everyone gasped)
✿ lando norris has a crush on a certain influencer and his friends are on a mission to help him get the girl
🝮
yn
📍los angeles, california
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liked by landonorris and 3,935,027 others
yn sun kissed 🌞
landonorris first
landonorris 😍😍😍
⤷ maxfewtrell 3 heart eyes??
flowers444yn what tf is lando norris doing in my gf’s comments?
lando.norizz he’s never beating the norizz allegations
alexandrasaintmleux let me take you out on my boat girl 🤤
⤷ charles_leclerc You mean my boat?
⤷ alexandrasaintmleux go away
⤷ yn i’ll be waiting 😉
zendaya Simply stunning 🤩
♥︎ by author
jacobelordi 😍
♥︎ by author
hearts4lando how do the wags know her?
⤷ ynsource she’s been invited to a few races by ferrari and mercedes so the wags must’ve introduced themselves there
judebellingham Beautiful 😍
♥︎ by author
⤷ yn 🥰
⤷ landowantsrizz STOP POOR LANDO CANT EVEN GET A LIKE 😭
lilymhe damn girl let me wife you up 🤤
⤷ yn please do 😫
🝮
yn
📍monaco
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liked by landonorris and 5,902,528 others
yn monaco will always have my heart
landonorris first
♥︎ by author
landonorris can i have it next?
♥︎ by author
alexandrasaintmleux need your hair 😍😫
♥︎ by author
gigihadid i miss you gorgeous 💓
⤷ yn i miss you more 💘
francisca.cgomes why not the picture of you double cheeked up? 🤤🤤
⤷ yn kika 😭😭 please
pierregasly can i have my shirt that i did not know was missing until now back?
⤷ francisca.cgomes no she wears it better
⤷ pierregasly wow ok then.
michaelbjordan 😍
♥︎ by author
⤷ yn everyone SHUT UP IM GLITCHING
⤷ landolovesyn poor lando 😭😭
landonorris please just give me one chance
♥︎ by author
⤷ yn 😭😭
⤷ landonorris i’ll take that as a maybe 🥰
carlossainz55 I would like to apologize for lando’s behavior
⤷ yn nothing to apologize for, it’s cute
⤷ landonorris 🤩🥺🥰🤤😫😍😎🥳😱
⤷ charles_leclerc Don’t mind him, he doesn’t interact with women much…
⤷ yn i could tell
⤷ landonorris 😕😞🖤💔😖😪😢😣😔
⤷ oscarpiastri He’s genuinely tweaking rn
🝮
landonorris
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liked by danielricciardo and 944,576 others
landonorris 🩷💜🤍💙🩵❤️
yn who’s all those hearts for?
⤷ landonorrris you. only you. always you.
charles_leclerc Lando looking for y/n
oscarpiastri Lando wondering where y/n is
alex_albon lando wondering what y/n is doing
alexandrasaintmleux lando thinking how to get y/n’s attention
georgerussell63 Lando thinking of y/n
carlossainz55 Lando thinking about all the gifts he’s could buy for y/n
lilymhe lando wondering how y/n slept
francisca.cgomes lando thinking of ways to impress y/n
maxfewtrell Lando wondering if y/n thinks he’s cool
🝮
yn
📍 somewhere in monaco
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liked by pierregasly and 3,084,921 others
yn party of 1
landonorris first
♥︎ by author
landonorris can i make it a party of 2? :)
♥︎ by author
⤷ yn i wouldn’t mind ;)
charles_leclerc I heard lando norris saved a family of 6 from a house fire the other day
⤷ alexandrasaintmleux yeah i heard he also saved the family’s 3 dogs too
carlossainz55 Lando norris bought me a new custom ferrari yesterday
maxverstappen1 Shoutout to my boy lando norris for letting me win all those races your a real one mate
alex_albon I heard lando norris tipped 700 dollars for a 10 dollar coffee last week
oscarpiastri I heard lando norris bought 1000 dollars worth of food for a homeless shelter in Miami last year
⤷ georgerussell63 I heard he also donated a bunch of clothes to
lilymhe i heard lando norris payed for everyone’s meals at a restaurant last month
⤷ carmenmmundt Yeah I heard he does that all the time
⤷ francisca.cgomes i heard he gave 1 million to a small business today
danielricciardo Lando norris actually bought me my house
lewishamilton Lando norris bought my dog a thousand dollar blinged out collar
donatella_versace Donatella VERSACE💜
🝮
yn posted a story
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replies
landonorris replied to your story
first 😁
yn as always honey
carlossainz55 replied to your story
does that party of 2 include a certain brit?
yn i don’t know who your referring to 🤔
lilymhe replied to your story
that bitch stole my girl
yn like you weren’t helping him 😭
carmenmmundt replied to your story
My little girl is growing up on me 😓
yn omg shut up 😭
francisca.cgomes replied to your story
that muppet better treat my girl right
yn don’t worry kika he will
alexandrasaintmleux replied to your story
ask him to buy you red bottoms i bet he will without thinking about it
yn stop he probably would 😭😭
🝮
landonorris posted a story
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replies
yn replied to your story
you’re so cute
landonorris your the cutest 😉
you’re*
landonorris i’m sorry. you’re the cutest*
charles_leclerc replied to your story
Your welcome, I started that whole thing
landonorris thank you mate it’s very much appreciated
pierregasly replied to your story
Don’t trip mate
landonorris to late. i knocked on the door to her apartment and she invited me inside cause she was looking for her earrings and i tripped walking inside. and i did not catch myself in time.
your supposed to have fast reflexes mate 😭
landonorris yeah all that went out the window when i seen her
alexandrasaintmleux replied to your story
you better not let her touch any door handle, pull out her chair, hold her hand, give her your coat, and don’t let her peak at the bill
landonorris i wouldn’t dream of it
🝮
yn
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liked by krisjenner and 11,935,776 others
yn i heard he ended world hunger or something?
landonorris first
♥︎ by author
landonorris sum slight yk
♥︎ by author
landonorris your so yummy baby 😍
♥︎ by author
charles_leclerc Once again, your welcome
⤷ yn no thank you
lilymhe damn does he not know how to keep his hands to himself?
⤷ landonorris you wouldn’t be able to if she was yours
francisca.cgomes i could treat you better
⤷ yn come over 😏
⤷ francisca.cgomes omw baby
⤷ landonorris oh!
⤷ pierregasly you get used to it
⤷ alex_albon over time you’ll just start to ignore it
⤷ charles_leclerc At a certain point you’ll have a good chuckle about it
⤷ georgerussell63 You learn to live with it
🝮
landonorris
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liked by tomholland2013 and 6,213,095 others
landonorris i like when it’s you & i
yn first
♥︎ by author
yn 🤍🤍🤍
♥︎ by author
yn i like it too honey
♥︎ by author
carlossainz55 You did it cabrón 🥳
⤷ landonorris i manifested this shit
lilymhe cutest 😍 y/n not lando.
⤷ landonorris hatin for what 🤣🤣
danielricciardo Lando norris did it
⤷ charles_leclerc He got the girl
⤷ arthur_leclerc crazy son of a bitch
alex_albon bro beat the norizz allegations
⤷ georgerussell63 I guess it’s time to retire lando norizz 😞
alexandrasaintmleux she was mine first.
⤷ landonorris and now she’s all mine 🤤
maxverstappen1 This calls for celebration!
⤷ pierregasly to the club!
oscarpiastri I already can’t stand you two
francisca.cgomes she curved michael b jordan and jude bellingham for a white guy…
⤷ landonorris stay mad 🥱
mclaren Welcome to family y/n! 🧡
♥︎ by author & yn
1K notes · View notes
codtrashsammy · 3 days
Text
Cute Meet?
Started as a kinda character study and idk what happened, i'ma be honest. I haven't written anything with length in awhile, so feel free to leave cc and let me know what you think <3 Just a cute meet kinda scenario, reader is an anxious lil thing and Simon 'Ghost' Riley is obsessed upon first glance. Love? No, not yet.. but obsessed, yes. Word Count: 1.3K Pairing: Simon Riley x Reader/You Warnings: No warnings, no use of y/n tho Enjoy :))
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Ghost is the keeper. Ghost is stoic, cold, even apathetic. Ghost can kill a whole platoon without batting an eye, can be covered in the blood of his enemies and be entirely uncaring to watch it flow down the drain once he has enough time to scrub the caked blood from where it seeped through his clothes. He is in charge, able to control his emotions effortlessly, able to lead. He is everything he needs to be. And then there’s Simon. Ghost is the keeper. Simon is the man beneath the mask who needs one. Simon is more akin to a stray dog than a human at times. Face hidden from the world, yet teeth always barred and ready to bite. Hidden behind a mask, a carefully crafted mask that is Ghost. A man with more scars than flesh, a man with more trauma than peace, a man who simply longs for the normalcy of life without a way to reach it. And then came you.
Ghost couldn’t care less for you. The mask is on as he’s on leave, shopping in a grocery store to get something to eat on while he stays in that damned motel for the next couple of weeks before flying out once more. The mask stays in place, a protection, a show the keeper is in charge. You don’t mean to run into him, you’re definitely not the type to go looking for trouble- you’ve had enough of that in your life, and you’re just starting to get your shit together for the nth time. But as you’re both leaving, you stumble, bumping right into him and leaving a couple of his poor bags strewn about on the sidewalk rather than carefully held within each hand. “Fuckin’ ‘ell,” Ghost grumbles with a sigh, clearly not pleased by the circumstances while watching a can of beans he had bought simply roll off of the sidewalk area and into the road- promptly ran over by a vehicle looking to park. No beans and toast now, british man. “I am so sorry-” You immediately apologize, the sheepish and embarrassed look on your face obvious as you dust yourself off and try to begin gathering the mess that you had caused. Ghost is annoyed at you. Just one look and he’s annoyed. But Simon? Simon is enchanted. The sweet, sheepish smile on your face, the way you scramble to help, the heat to your cheeks in your embarrassment as you scatter around trying to fix the situation. The way your hair falls and how you’re clearly nervous, but you still act anyway. You don’t care of how he looks- all brooding and intimidating with his hoodie over his head and the black medical mask over the lower half of his face. You couldn’t care less of that- you simply want to make things better. Simon notices that though. Simon remains frozen for a few moments, hidden interest in his eyes as he watches you scramble about, resorting your things just to have an extra couple of bags for his things. And you just hand things back over to him, the sheepish smile still on your face, the embarrassment clear- but gods, you look like such a sweet lil thing, lookin’ at him like he’s a human, a person. “‘S fine,” Simon eventually spits out, taking the bags from your hands and glancing once more at the beans staining the roadway now, before turning to focus his attention back on you. He could let you leave now. He could, it’d be so easy. He could leave it at that and walk away, probably never hear or see from you again. I mean, hell, he’s only known you for all of 5 minutes, and it’s because you’re a clumsy little shit who fucked up his shopping. It’d be so easy so why does it feel so hard. “D’ya always ‘ave to make such an impression?” Simon quips out, readjusting the bags comfortably in his grip. You can’t even pretend not to notice his accent- it’s unusual for where you live, you don’t think you’ve ever heard anything like it outside of the media you’ve consumed. It’s pleasant, rings around in the ears for a bit. You finally meet his eyes, and gods, they are gorgeous. Deep, rich, brown- like chocolate with golden flecks scattered. Especially in the sunlight- like they are now- pools of liquid gold swimming about a chocolate river. “Ah- No- Um-” You struggle to find the right words, now your cheeks are warmer, and it’s less from embarrassment and more from the pretty eyed stranger you just fucking throttled on accident. But at least he doesn’t seem angry, so there’s always that. “I’m so sorry,” You settle on apologizing again, one of your hands moving to nervously run through your hair, pushing some strands out of your face. “‘S fine. Really.” Simon says with a slight nod, and you can feel the burn of his eyes as they trail over you. You can’t decide if he means it or not, though, he sounds oddly monotone for such simple words. “Still, I feel bad, I uh- I’m kinda clumsy at best,” You blurt out, sheepish smile on your face despite its softness as you glance away from him before looking back once more, “I uh- just wasn’t paying much attention to where I was going- a real bad habit of mine, honestly- which is surprising cause you’re kinda huge and hard to miss-” 
What the fuck did you just say?!Your cheeks heat up further, hands moving to gesture with your words now. You’re rambling, you know you are, but god did not give you the ability to shut the fuck up. “N-Not that that’s a bad thing! You’re uh- very well-built!” what the fuck you’re making it worse- “I-I mean- You uh- You have lots of muscle a-and that’s a good thing! And you have pretty eyes- always a bonus!” Simon’s eyebrow slowly lifts, his eyes crinkling at the sides. Simon’s been called a lot of things in his life- but he’s realizing at this moment that no one has ever called his eyes pretty. They’re brown. He can recall Johnny referring to them as ‘shit brown’ more often than not.  And you just look so fucking adorable- continuing to ramble, but he’s hardly paying attention to the words now, watching your cheeks get darker, your hands gesturing with your words, nervously shifting on your feet as you try to ‘save’ the situation. Such a precious lil thing, too pure for this world.
Simon was enchanted at first glance.
Ghost decides he could be, too.
A pretty thing like you? In this world? Oh, love, that’s just not safe. You’re a lil bundle of nervous, clearly. How’d ya make it this far? Who made ya like this? Unsure, rambling, nervous? Ghost wants to learn you. Wants to figure out what events molded you into this cute lil thing. You clearly need someone- he won’t judge, Simon needs him, too.
Ghost decides he wants to know you. Simon has made that thought known.
“You know what? I’m gonna shut up!” You finally say, voice a higher pitch and the heat being felt in the tips of your ears at this point as you take a step away from the masked man, who you know you’ve done ruined the chance to know with your inability to shut the fuck up.
“Tell me yer name before ya do,” Simon says, voice smooth like it’s the easiest and most casual thing in the world.
He’s so… quiet. He let you ramble and make an absolute fool of yourself- but now he’s actually wanting to know your name?
After you manage to knock yourself out of your stupor, you finally offer your name to him, cheeks finally cooling down a bit. Only to heat back up once he repeats your name in that voice of his, all low and gruff- says it differently than anything you’ve ever heard before- like it’s something important, something that matters.
“Simon,” He supplies, adjusting his bags in one grip as he offers a hand to you.
Simon and Ghost are two very different people who share this skin suit.
But they both decide you’re theirs.
436 notes · View notes
cynical-ghost · 2 days
Text
ICING
Request: Could you do SMAU for Kimi Raikkonen with baker!wife reader? We all know of his obsession with ice cream, but what about the goods his wife baked? Did he do the same? You decide how it goes. Just something fluff and cute. Tag me later!! Thanks:)) - @pear-1206
Paring: Kimi raikkonen x baker!reader
Genre: fluff, smau-social media
Warning(s): use of Yn, one use of French near the end.
Synopsis: Just some cute Instagram postes from baker!Yn and Kimi.
A/n: Sorry I didn’t post this sooner, I have been busy with exam revision😭 I hope this makes up for not posting in a while <3
Ynforeal
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Liked by Kimi_raikkonen, Charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 678,980 others
Ynforeal Cinnamon Rolls 🤗🍴
Ynismymother 🤤🤤🤤
User15 omfg I wish I lived closer to your bakery! 😭😭
Kimiynforlife they look soo good!!!!
Charles_leclerc I can’t wait for the next time you come to the paddock with baked goodies 😁
Ynforeal see you next race with a surprise for everyone!!!
Carlossainz55 🫡🍴
Kimi_raikkonen
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Liked by Ynforeal, fernandoalo_oficial, Sebastianvettle and 986,798 others
Kimi_raikkonen On My Way!
KimiandYnareparents The autocorrect caption😭💀
User53 😭😭😭
Ynismymother how does Yn look so good!!
User12 She always looks good 🫠
Sebastianvettle Cupcakes, cinnamon rolls, Victoria sponge cake….Which is @/Ynforeal bringing ????
Ynforeal You and Charles will be the first to see, don’t you worry your little head Seb 😂
Sebastianvettle I will ignore the last sentence because you are bringing food 😂
Ynforeal
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Liked by Kimi_raikkonen, Charles_leclerc, Sebastianvettle and 876,459 others
Ynforeal I make a Berry cream cake and some mini honey cakes for the paddock. Featuring a happy Charles about to take the berry cake for himself and Kimi trying to be sneaky…
Tagged: @/Chares_leclerc @/Kimi_raikkonen
Charles_leclerc The berry cake was délicieux, I did share it with my family 😁
Arthur_leclerc No you didn’t…
lorenzotl No you didn’t…
leclerc_pascale 😡
Charles_leclerc 😒
182 notes · View notes
asarajaa · 2 days
Note
can I get some headcanons about jealous Kenma?? Thank you!!
Sure! Hope you like it <3!
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Warnings: gn!reader Words: 565 Disclaimer: English isn't my first language so I apologise for any mistakes or misunderstandings!
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Jelous Kenma hcs
₊˚ෆ I don't think Kenma is the jelousy type tbh.
₊˚ෆ But sometimes he has insecurities because, look at you, how is it that you-a beautiful, incredible, gorgeous (and the list goes on) person- ended up with a guy like him?
₊˚ෆ The boy thinks that you're out of his league and that he's so lucky to have you.
₊˚ෆ However, if you're ignoring him, well, that's different.
₊˚ෆ At first, he doesn't notice beacuse, why would you ignore him?
₊˚ෆ But once he does- proceed with caution.
₊˚ෆ This boy will make anything to caught your attention.
₊˚ෆ There was this time when you decided to try videogames, but no Kenmas videogames, no, otome videogames.
You were just chilling in your boyfriends bed, scrolling through social media while your boyfriend was playing in his computer until you saw this new viral otome game. In your boredom, you decided to give it a try and- omg
What is this thing and where was it your whole life???
The hours went by and you were just giggling and moving while playing with your phone. After failing the mission for the 34th time in a row, Kenma decided to have a little break.
Kenma lay down on his bed only to find you 100% focused on your phone. At first, he though you were only watching a video and when the video's over you'll give him attention.
With that in mind, he waited patiently on the other side of his bed for you to notice him. But when the minutes went by and you weren't paying him any attention, he though he had enough.
"Uhm, babe? What are you watching?" he asked calmly, with no signs that he wanted your attention because he's not attention starved.
(Oh, but he is)
You shuddered and give a small jump "Kenma? I didn't notice you" you said while you returned your gaze back to the game, his brow furrowing. "What were you saying?" you asked.
"I asked you what were you watching" he repetead himself.
"Actually, I'm talking to a guy of this ne- oh my god" you let out a giggle while your fingertips were tapping.
His brow furrowed more because who were you talking to and why was he more important than him, your boyfriend?
"A guy? I know him?" he asked, moving closer to you.
"I don't think so?" you chuckle imagine your boyfriend playing the otome game "His name is Zach, he's 24 and has electric blue eyes with baby blue hair" you gave him hints, hoping that he'd hear of him since he's the main male lead of the game.
"Who on this earth has baby blue hair' Like-"
"Shoyo has orange hair."
"..."
"..."
"...Do you want me to dye my hair baby blue?"
"Baby- What?" you asked shocked, what on earth was he talking a- oh.
Oh.
"Are you jelous?" you were teasing him.
"..."
" You know I'm p-playing an otome-game, r-right?" you were trying your best to not laugh but his cute red face was not helping.
He quietly gets up of the bed and started walking towards his computer.
Now you were laughing.
"B-Baby! Wait! I didn't mean to but-"
₊˚ෆ He thinks that's the most embarassed time he's ever been.
₊˚ෆ Kenma will start playing videogames again like nothing happend.
₊˚ෆ At the end, you had to cuddle with him and explain him all the situation, while you tried your best to not laugh.
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Thank you all for sending request! I'm so happy to do them!
Please, tell me your opn about this one, I really appreciate if you guys comment on how can I improve <3
26/04/24
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© asarajaa — Please, do not copy, translate or reuse my work without my permission.
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wonbadtz · 3 days
Text
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚ riize + how much rizz do they have?
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ot7 x female!reader
genre: fluff, crack (?), suggestive
warnings: none!
a/n: this is the first time i'm trying something like this, enjoy <3
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shotaro ̗̀➛ 6/10
he's quite difficult to read when it comes to his rizzness. i feel like it would depend on the kind of vibe you give off to him as well. he seems shy, but if he feels comfortable around you then his game becomes a lot stronger. his rizzing game reaches its peak when he's at places he feels at ease, such as the dance studio. dancing is almost like a love language to him; if words don't work, he's willing to let his body do the talking.
eunseok ̗̀➛ 7/10
i know this rating could be higher but LISTEN; this man doesn't even have to try to rizz you up because he already has you hooked. and he knows it. with a face card like his, he wouldn't even bother trying anything with you. just one look from him, one smile, one single brushing of his fingers on your arm and you're done for. funny thing is, he knows exactly what effect he has on you just by looking at you, simply for just existing. plus his immaculate sense of humor is a huge bonus too. whatever he does — or doesn't do — you're very much whipped for him.
sungchan ̗̀➛ 5/10
listen, i love my man sungchan but he's just so awkward. even though he's super hot, he doesn't realize it and his rizz game becomes such a mess. he would make silly jokes and laugh awkwardly around you, hesitant to approach you because he just doesn't have the confidence to do so. and you don't understand why. his awkwardness makes him cute though, and paired with his toned arms and insanely ripped abs, you can see through his efforts to win you over. and he does win you over in the end.
wonbin ̗̀➛ 3/10
sorry... he's too babygirl to flirt and make the first move. he is the one who actually waits for you to make the move because he knows that if he approaches you, he's gonna make a mess. he's too scared of embarrassing himself. similar with sungchan, he suffers from extremely pretty face syndrome, yet his confidence is quite low. he would tend to laugh and giggle a lot, scratching the back of his neck every time you would make eye contact with him. he's just very very shy.
seunghan ̗̀➛ 1737284/10
don't tell me this man doesn't know how to rizz up girls, come on. the literal definition of charisma, he just knows how to talk to you, how to touch you and how to make you feel comfortable around him. he seems like the kind of guy you would meet at a club once and never forget him because he would leave such a big impression on you. he probably kissed you all night long and asked for your number afterwards, but he actually never called. this is all part of his game though, he just knows what he's doing.
sohee ̗̀➛ 9/10
this boy screams 90's heartthrob; he has the type of face and energy you would find in a male protagonist of 90's rom-coms. the only reason why i didn't give him the perfect 10/10 score is because he still needs to work a little bit on his rizzing tactics in order to unleash his full potential. you may find him very cute and adorable at first, but in reality he's very slick with the way he talks to you. he wins you over in a matter of a few minutes with his boyish grins and cheerful attitude.
anton ̗̀➛ 6/10
same as taro, i can't read through him. he's cute, tall, pretty, quiet and calm. he doesn't have to go to extremes to win you over, even though he feels like he should. this american energy he carries around makes him seem more carefree and laid-back, so even though he initially gives off awkward vibes, in reality he's far from that. he would start talking to you with pick-up lines, hoping they would work. they do work, but not in the way he thought they would; instead, you laugh at them and hit him back with a pick-up line too, which makes him giggle and open up to you more. next thing you know, you're waking down the beach with him, holding his hand.
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TAGS: @seunghancore <3
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carmyboobear · 3 days
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ALEXITHYMIA CH 5: detergent, thrifting, and cake
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Roommate AU: Carmy Berzatto x Reader
Chapter Rating: T (11k)
ao3 link, ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4
Chapter Summary: It’s his roommate’s birthday this week, and Carmy doesn’t find out until it’s a couple days away. Once he finds they’re unluckily spending their birthday alone, he makes it his mission to make their lonely day better. It’s the least he can do. Little does he know how much more he has to discover about them and about himself.
Tags: reader having trauma, carmy having trauma, toxic families, domesticity
A/N: It’s time… it’s time. I said last chapter was the longest…just kidding. THIS ONE is the longest, and it was hardest to write so far. The duo gets to have a lot of fun this chapter, though! arguably the most so far! A lot of domestic goodness and good food and shopping! Until… :)
also HUGE shoutout to @justaconsequence on tumblr for being my beta reader for this chapter! she was so kind and so helpful. this behemoth of a fic is too much for me to proofread on my own. anyway, thanks for reading and enjoy! can't wait to hear what y'all think!
Typically, by this time on Monday morning, Carmy's usually three cigarettes deep into paperwork, urgently (and poorly) calculating the sales the restaurant needs to make this week to stay afloat. Because even though it's a Sunday closing activity, he never seems to find the occasion to get around to it, and by 10 pm, he doesn't have the capacity to be crunching numbers. 
Not that 8 am is much better. At least he's not dissecting the debt this morning—he's studying detergent prices.
“Why is this one, like, almost 20 dollars?” Carmy stops reading the price tags and glances over at his roommate, who's squinting at products on upper shelves. The lights are always too bright in this place. “And for such a small bottle…”
“Pre-mixed organic sulfate-free 100% vegan bleach,” Carmy reads dully. 
“So stupid.” They shake their head. “Does grocery shopping ever depress you?”
“Usually,” he replies dryly. “Inflation is pretty depressing.”
“Don’t even get me started. Capitalism in general depresses me.”
“Hm, yeah. That too.” He sighs through his nose and tries to refocus. He's having a hard time processing all the numbers and letters today. “You see any unscented detergent? Somethin’ mild?”
“Um…” They crane their neck up and down, and then they crouch on the ground. They pick up a white bottle. “How's this? It's like, 8 dollars. It's not name-brand, but…”
“You know I don't care.” He kneels with them, huddling in close. They smell faintly of a sweet, yet musky perfume. He reminds himself to focus on the detergent, not the way they smell (even if it's far more interesting). “Yeah, this looks good. Thank you.”
“For your vintage denim, right?” They stand up to put the detergent in their shopping cart, which is barely separated with his stuff vs. theirs. He doesn't understand why his face grows warm at their comment, but it does. 
“Uh, yeah. It is.” If the blush shows on his face, they graciously don't comment. “Although I'll admit I don't get around to washing them as much as I should.”
“You're not supposed to wash jeans that often anyway, right?” They lean their elbows onto the rickety cart as they push it, and he ambles along next to them, matching the slow, relaxed pace of their walk. 
“Yeah, but I really…” The implications are clear. They fail in suppressing a laugh, and it makes him smile. “And I’m supposed to hand wash them, so.”
“Oh, so what you're saying is that you never wash them,” they tease.
“That is not at all what I'm saying.” They make an unimpressed face. “I do laundry, it's just…”
“Not often,” they supply helpfully. He tries to come up with something, but he's got nothing. “It's okay, I understand.”
“I promise I wash my clothes,” he mumbles, wilting. 
“I know.” There's that new smile he's grown to recognize more clearly. It's this mischievous one they get when they’re teasing him, and it's so cute he doesn't have any room in him to get even a little irritable. “I've seen you do laundry maybe once or twice.”
“Hey,” he says, warning, and they laugh and run ahead of him, the squeaky wheels of the cart giggling alongside them. 
After the night he almost burned down their apartment, he had felt different. It was like a switch being flipped, light abruptly filling up a dark room, and he's been squinting, struggling to adjust. But as he walks with them today, grocery shopping lit by blinding white fluorescents, he finds that he can see them rather clearly. 
The connection between the two of them is tangible, palpable. It's workable pasta dough that's been kneaded to uniformity. The dough is malleable, clean, and when he touches it, sticky, glutenous residue doesn't cover his palms. When he catches at them peeking over their shoulder to make sure he's still following them, he chases away the urge to pull them into his arms. He throws the desire into boiling water in hopes that enough pressure will change those feelings into something more palatable. He's not sure if it's working.
Something happened when he hugged them that Saturday night. He doesn't dare name what that “something” is, but it's rising from where it's sitting at the bottom of the pot, just about to hit the surface—
“Hey, I gotta get some stuff in this aisle.” Carmy snaps out of it and follows them as they veer the cart to the left. He raises his eyes to read the categories on the sign.
“You bakin’ somethin’?” They both move out of the way for an oncoming cart.
“Yeah, was thinking about it.” They halt to a stop in front of the boxed cake mix and step back to fully peruse the shelves. He stands next to them, and they glance at him out of the corner of their eye. “You’re not judging me for getting box mix, are you?”
“Not at all,” he answers honestly. “Food is always better when made from scratch, but box mix has its uses. Besides, I’m not a baker.”
“That’s true, but I’m sure you still make an insane cake.” Carmy’s aware he can’t make them unsee his flash of a smile, but he still shrugs. “Sure, stay humble.”
“I try. What’s the occasion?”
“Ah, nothing much. It’s just my birthday.”
“Oh, okay.” 
…And he's about to move on, just as casually as it came, but then the processing finishes.
“Why’re you lookin’ at me like that?” They ask confusedly. 
“Is it your birthday today?”
“No, um, it’s this Thursday.” He exhales in palpable relief. 
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He hates at how worked up he sounds.
“Um…” Their face is twinged with guilt. “...There was never a good time to bring it up?”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be getting upset.” He sighs, shakes his head. “I just feel like I should’ve known, I guess.”
“No, it’s fine. It’s not your fault. I never brought it up. Um…” Their hands are fiddling with the edges of their sleeves. “I just have complicated feelings about my birthday.”
“Ah, I see. I get that.” That, he can understand. “Is it all the gifts and stuff?”
“Kinda. It’s a part of it.” They lean down to grab a box of devil’s food cake, and that makes him remember that they’re in a grocery store. Not quite the best place for a personal conversation like this. They’re being vague, but he won’t press. Not right now.
“You shouldn’t be baking for yourself on your birthday,” Carmy mutters. They smile at that, but it’s different. It’s heavy with melancholy. 
“It’s alright. I’m gonna be celebrating with my friends this weekend, just not on my actual birthday.” His conflicted expression persists. “It’s okay, really. It’s just a day. It’ll be enough of a present to not have to go into work.”
“Put that back,” he blurts out. “I’ll make you a cake.”
“Don’t you work?” Their eyebrows are arched in surprise. “You really don’t—”
“I know I don’t. But I want to. I do work, yeah, but I’ll, I’ll get someone to cover me.” He’s never said those words before in his life, and now that they’re out, he can’t take them back. As a matter of fact, he doesn’t want to take them back. “We’re friends, aren’t we?”
“Of course,” they reply quickly. 
“Then let me do this. Please.” He has no idea where this courage is coming from. “I want to. I know I'm always working, but I really…” Their eyes are wide with wonder, yet watchful. It shouldn't make him falter, but it does. His heart stutters and whatever bravado briefly gripped him fades away. “I’m…probably being too pushy right now. Tell me to fuck off?”
“I’m not gonna tell you to fuck off for wanting to bake me a cake,” they laugh, easing his worries like they always do. “C’mon, Carm.”
“So, uh, is that a yes, or…?”
“Just so we’re clear, I’m not trying to ask you to take off of work for my birthday,” they start carefully, “but I wouldn’t object to it. So, yeah. It’s a yes.”
“Okay.” He can’t help his giddy smile. There's someone saying you look stupid like this, but he’s with them, and it makes everything else silent. “Okay, good.”
“You’re…being super sweet about all this.” He doesn’t understand why—maybe it’s the way they say it—but hearing that makes his neck go hot. 
“I mean…friends do stuff like this, don’t they?” 
“Only the good ones.” They beam beautifully at him. He hasn’t done anything to warrant their affection, he thinks, but the feeling of their smile is so warm. He can’t resist soaking in it.
He's glad that lady luck blessed him just enough to stop their birthday from passing him by. He's been itching for an opportunity to repay them for all the bullshit they've had to take from him as of recent (although he knows if he brought it up, they would say it wasn't anything worth repaying). They deserve something good from him for once, not panic attacks and nightmares. 
He just wishes he could figure out why they were going to spend their birthday alone. He knows them a lot better now, but there's still so much left shrouded. He wants to know them inside and out—he wants to learn what makes them tick, what keeps them up at night, what makes them happy. He wants to know all of it in its entirety, to fill in the gaps in the puzzle he doesn't have the pieces for.
He has some of the pieces. He understands that their relationship with their family to his—distant, strained, and difficult. Unfortunately, that’s about it. He doesn’t know any of the specifics. It’s not like he’s talked to them about his family outside of the off-handed bitter remarks, just as they have, but he finds that this fact leaves him dissatisfied.
He just hopes that they'll let him in. He's not sure if they will, but…he's gonna try. He has to. He's sick of not trying.
. . . . .
“You want to take off?” Richie’s staring at Carmy like he’s grown a second head. They're taking a smoke break in the back. “I don’t know what sort of doppelganger bullshit this is, but if you’re trying to pretend to be Carmen, you’re doing a shit job.”
“Very funny, jackass,” Carmy mutters. “I’m being serious. This Thursday.”
“All day?” Carmy grimaces, but he nods. Richie shakes his head. “You’re being weird. Really fuckin’ weird.”
“I know I shouldn’t. It’s a bad idea, but—”
“Cousin, no, that’s not at all what’s goin’ on here,” Richie interrupts, and Carmy’s at a loss for words. “This is the best idea you’ve ever had.”
“What?” Carmy squints at him. “Are you being serious?”
“‘Course I’m serious. I’m always serious.” Carmy decides not to comment on that. “Do you know how many times I’ve tried to get you off this ship for just one fucking second?”
“As the owner of this place, you’ve tried way too many times,” he replies dryly. 
“Uh, as the original co-owner of this place, you don’t listen to me enough.” Again, Carmy decides not to elaborate on that one. It’s not worth it. “Take the day off. I was running it fine before, and I’ll keep running it.”
“No, no, we’re not saying that, it was not fine,” Carmy starts, but Richie’s already flipping him off. 
“Whatever, I already know, new fucking system and all that. Don’t get anxiety or whatever over it, that’s why you got Syd hustling shit your way, right?” 
“Uh.” Carmy didn’t realize that Richie had even been paying attention to the new hierarchy in the restaurant, let alone respecting it in any capacity. “Yeah, she is.”
“Then it’s fine.” Richie blows smoke in his face, and Carmy swats it away with a glare. “It was fine when you came in an hour late today, wasn’t it?” 
“You guys knew I wasn’t gonna come in until later,” Carmy argues, defensive (although he’s not sure if there’s actually anything to argue about). 
“Exactly.” Richie sighs all of a sudden, a long one that sounds like it’s bone deep. “Carm. Let me be straight with you. You need to do this. Okay? No backing out of this one.”
“Why’re you sayin’ this? What are you sayin’?” 
“It’s ‘cause of your roommate, right? This Thursday?”
“...Yeah.” Carmy pales. “How did you—?”
“Fuckin’ knew it,” Richie says, grinning. “It was obvious.”
“No way. I didn’t say shit.”
“You didn’t need to.” Richie flicks the ash off his cigarette. “They’re changin’ you, man. We can all see it.”
“...” Carmy can’t deny that. He doesn't have time to ponder on that right now. “Is it really okay?”
“Yeah, you could stand to have an attitude adjustment.”
“I wasn’t talking about that, asshole. I was talking about Thursday.”
“Yes, for fuck’s sake, it’s completely fine.” Richie claps a hand on his shoulder, solid in its grip. It makes Carmy’s eyes snap to him, mostly in confusion. “So what’s the occasion? Must be important.”
“It’s their birthday. I mean, I could just go home early that day, but—”
“Yo, if you’re gonna take off, don’t halfass it—”
“That’s not what I was gonna say. When I’m here, I can’t seem to find my way out. This place…it just has a way of trapping you in.” He doesn’t expect Richie to nod, but he does. “I know if I don’t take the whole day off, I’ll never get out of here in time. Not until it’s too late.”
For some reason, that makes Richie laugh. 
“Yeah. That's it.” Richie shakes his head as smoke trails out of his mouth. “That’s just it, man. You have to make time for the things that’re important. Even the recitals where you have to listen to five year olds play twinkle twinkle little star 20 times. You can’t miss shit like this. Because once you miss it, it’s gone.”
“Rich.” Carmy wants to say something to make that haunted expression leave Richie's face, but he doesn't come up with anything in time.
“Don’t give me that look.” Richie’s hand falls from his shoulder. “I’m just tryin’ to stop you from fucking shit up. They actually seem like a good person.”  
“Y’think so?”
“I do. You?”
“Yeah.” Carmy doesn’t bother hiding his smile, even though he can already sense Richie’s teasing coming from a mile away. “They’re a really good friend.”
“Friend. Sure.” Richie snorts. 
“Don’t push it,” and for some reason he adds, “they were gonna spend it alone.”
“Huh. Sociable guy like them spending it alone?”
“I know. I didn't ask. Maybe I should've.”
“Maybe. I dunno, cousin. Everyone's got their secrets. Especially the ones that try to act like they don't have any.”
“You're strangely full of wisdom today.”
“Fuck right off,” Richie responds in regular Richie fashion.
“I think they're like me. Like us.” Carmy's not sure why he's saying this on a Monday afternoon at work out of all times, but the truth bursts out of him beyond his will. Richie's expression shifts into something more solemn, something recognizable. “Y'know what I mean.”
“...Yeah.” Richie claps his hand on Carmy's back again. “Shitty parents club.”
As Carmy stands there in the back, feet sore and tobacco in the air, he sees his childhood in flashes. He's five years old again and is following Mike around with scuffed sneakers and untamed hair, although he supposes that unruliness never truly changed with time. There's warm sunlight filtering through green summer leaves. He hears his mother behind him, somewhere, but maybe he doesn't. 
He thinks of home, of his bedroom, and it is cold. He has homework he’s failed to complete again. It's sitting on his desk, on top of all of the other shit he can't finish. There's screaming, and he's not listening.
He blinks. He’s 30, and he hasn’t talked to his mom since Michael died.
“Shitty parents club,” Carmy repeats hollowly. 
. . . . .
When Thursday morning arrives, Carmy ends up greeting his roommate with flour in his hair and eggs sizzling on the pan. 
“Um,” they say, just as Carmy goes “G'morning.” They both freeze, brief awkwardness circling between them before it dissipates with their breathless laugh.
“Good morning. I didn't think you'd actually take off,” they admit.
“I said I would,” he replies quietly, but it's not accusatory. How many times had he said he'd be home for dinner just for him to arrive when they're already asleep? He tries not to make empty promises anymore. Nonetheless, he understands their surprise. “Um, I'm almost done with breakfast. I didn't get to the coffee yet.”
“Am I supposed to be offended?” They laugh. “That's the least I can do, with you doing all of this.” They sluggishly shuffle behind him to reach down into some kitchen cabinets. “It's a special day, so I'll even make us pour overs.”
“That's true. It is special.” He peeks over his shoulder, pausing from basting the eggs in brown butter to see them setting up on the kitchen island. They gently place the hourglass-shaped glass onto the counter with a light clink. He silently switches the button on for the electric gooseneck kettle to his right. “Am I allowed to wish you a happy birthday, or should I not?”
“Hm, I don't mind. Just don't overdo it, which I doubt you will.” They pull out a bag of coarse ground coffee and a filter. As soon as they open the bag, he can smell the sweet scent of the light roast floating towards him. 
“Okay. Then, happy birthday,” he says as casually as he can.
“Thanks, Carmy.” He studies their expression, searching for annoyance in their content expression, but he doesn't find any. “That's not even really what I meant by today being special, though.”
“How else did you mean it?” The eggs are done. He reaches over the hot pan to cut the heat.
“Well, y'know. I dunno if we’ve ever had a full day off together.” They're carefully scooping grounds into the filter fitted on top of the glass, creating a small hill. “I think I managed to catch you coming home early on my off days sometimes, but never a full day.”
“Huh.” Carmy has to take a minute to think about that one. “Yeah, I don't know either. I think you're right.”
“Then, like I said. It's special.” They seal up the bag of coffee grounds, and then they frown. “Shit. I forgot to turn on the kettle. Can you—”
“Already did it,” he reports, pleased, and his sense of accomplishment only doubles at their sigh of relief. 
“Thank god.” There's the familiar clicking sound of the kettle reaching the perfect temperature. “Just in time, too. Can you hand it to me?”
“Yes, chef,” he says, because it always makes them laugh. Today is no exception. He slides the metallic kettle over to them. 
“So what delights did you whip up over there?” They ask. They begin pouring the almost boiling water over their coffee grounds in a slow circle, gradually inching towards the middle. “It smells amazing. I want the full break-down.”
“The full break-down, got it.” On two circular plates, he's carefully placing a fried egg, thick cut bacon, and a slice of toast with jam and butter. “Uh…it's nothin’ special, just stuff we had in the fridge. We've got a, uh, brown-butter fried egg with a little paprika, sage, pepper, salt…”
“Oh, just an egg made with liquid gold, no big deal,” they imitate.
“Cut it out,” he snips back, but he's smiling and they know it. “There's honestly not much to it. This thick-cut bacon was in the back, so I cooked the rest of it. And the toast is just brioche with salted honey butter and blueberry jam.”
“Carmy. C'mon. That's nothing special to you?”
“I mean.” It's not quite nothing, he thinks. “I can make nicer breakfasts, is all.”
“That's what you said when you made me garlic bread, and that fucking blew my mind.” They set the kettle down with a thunk. The glass is full of dark coffee. Prepped next to them is their favorite glass mug alongside Carmy's. He's not sure how they knew that it was his favorite, but he doesn't question it.
“I'm just letting you know that you should wait to be really impressed.” 
“Too fucking late, man.” He's turned around and placed the two breakfast platters on the kitchen island, and they gawk openly at it. “Holy fuck.”
“It's ready,” he says, surprisingly meek. He can't comprehend why anxiety's hitting him now of all times. He's served acclaimed food critics, top-security government officials, and celebrities more times than he can count. Before that audience, he never faltered, but in front of his roommate in their crumpled pajamas, his heart stutters. 
“Oh, wow…” They regard the food with undeserved softness. Like a punctured balloon, his anxiety immediately begins deflating. They're staring at the food like it's a painting in a museum. “You seriously didn't have to do all of this.”
“I know. I just wanted to.” He feels heat on the back of his neck. “Is…is that okay?”
“It's more than okay.” Suddenly, he notices their eyes are puffy, like they were crying. “Goddamnit, get over here.” 
He only registers what's about to happen for one second before they're hugging him. Their palms are on his back, and the top of their head tucks under his chin perfectly. He makes a small, surprised noise. 
“I, I'm glad you like it.” He links his arms around them, allows himself to rest his chin on their head. With their face turned to the side, their ear's pressed up against his chest, and he's instantly struck with the paranoia that they're gonna hear his rapid heartbeat. 
“I haven't even taken a bite yet, and I love it.” They lean back then, arms still wrapped around him and head craned upwards to look at him. It's far too intimate for what they are, and Carmy hates how his heart beats even harder. “Thank you for doing all this. Seriously. I…”
“The breakfast's just a side thing, I'm, um, still baking you a cake.”
“What? You're doing this and a cake?”
“Um,” Carmy repeats intelligently.
“Carmy. Carmy, Carmy, Carmy.” Their words ooze affection, but surely he's just imagining it. Their hands are crawling up his back. “God, I could just ki—”
“There's the timer,” Carmy blurts out, because his phone's ringing and so are his ears. At the sound, they let him go, and he grabs two towels to retrieve the two circular cake pans from the oven. A toothpick poked through the middle comes out clean, so he sets them on a wire rack to cool. 
He needs to focus on the cakes. That's the most important thing.
“Oh my god.” They lean in close to the cake and take a deep breath. “Is this—”
“Devil's food cake, yeah.” The heat searing his face is surely from opening the oven. 
“You—how did you—” Their smile is luminous with joy. “You really pay attention to every little thing, don't you?”
“Sometimes. When it counts.” He fidgets awkwardly, nails picking at the sides of his fingers. “Wanna eat by the window, or…?”
“Fuck yeah I do. Can you bring the plates over? I'll have the coffee over in just a second.”
Carmy sets up at their little table first, placing the plates just right across from one another. The morning sun casts a cozy glow through their speckled window, streaking planes of light across the floor. He patiently waits and watches them pace from the fridge to the counter, splashing cream into their mugs. Through the transparent glass, he watches the white fizzle into the dark coffee, blending into a warm brown.
“Just a tiny spoon of sugar for you, right?” They peek over their shoulder, catching his stare, and he nods. He's also not quite sure how they know that, either. They've had coffee in the morning maybe a handful of times before.
He supposes they also pay attention sometimes, when it counts.
“Alright, here we go.” They bring a mug in each hand and set them delicately down on the table. He notes that his coffee is the perfect color. “Oh, thanks for waiting. You didn't have to.”
“I, I guess so, yeah. It's just, uh, you always wait for me, so…”
“That's—that's true.” An odd tension sets in their face, but they laugh it off, and it disappears. “I guess I’m not used to it anymore.”
A part of him wants to ask further by what they meant by that, but they're already taking pictures of his food so dutifully. He doesn't want to ruin it, so he eats. 
It's nice to have a solid breakfast for once. He had taken their advice from the other night and had been drinking milk with protein powder. It was nice not to feel like he was teetering the edge by lunch time, but truthfully, it was a bit unsavory. This breakfast platter is much more palatable. It also helps that his stomach pains aren't active today. 
Time rolls by slowly this quiet morning, and Carmy recognizes the oddity of it immediately. It's clear to see when by this time, he's usually already done at least ten laps through the restaurant. An irritating signal in his brain is telling him that he needs to get up and do something, not sit around and eat, but for once, he doesn't want to listen. 
A memory from roughly two weeks ago (or was it one week?) unearths all of sudden. He was up early, drinking shitty coffee and sinking into dissociation. Mornings were lonely, as he was usually the only one up, but not that day. His roommate came stumbling into the kitchen, awake from a restless night. They chatted before he had to head out, and he remembers wishing he had more time in the morning to spend with them. 
He imagined a morning just like this one, with pajamas, food, and messy hair. He daydreamed about having all the time in the world, and he thought about getting to spend it all with them. Now he’s sitting in that moment he imagined, except that it’s real. They're across from him in their wrinkled pajamas and bedhead, contentedly mowing through their food. There's a smear of jam on the corner of their mouth. He takes a sip of his coffee, and it's perfect, just as they made it for him. 
This amount of good should scare him, needs to scare him, but he just can't bring himself to care anymore. He wants more than nightmares, cigarettes, and floating just above the budget. He wants this.
He tastes his coffee and reminds himself that he’s still here. The moment hasn’t passed him by. 
“Is it good?” He asks quietly. It’s a rhetorical question, it always is, but he can’t help himself. He wants to hear it from them. 
“So. Fucking. Good.” They have to finish chewing before they answer. “You always knock it out of the park. If this is the prelude, I don’t know if I can handle what’s next,” they say, gesturing towards the cooling cake.
“It won’t be ready for a while yet. You have time to prepare yourself.” That makes them smile. All according to plan. “Got anything in mind for today?”
“Nothing glamorous. I was just gonna go out for a little. Go thrifting, maybe watch a movie later. Smoke a joint.” They shrug. “Just my usual sort of thing.”
“Mm.” He dusts off crumbs from the toast off his fingers on his pants. “Sounds like a good time. You still wanna go?”
“I do, yeah.” They stare at him for a moment, as if processing his words. Or just him. “Do you…wanna tag along, or…?”
Whenever they ask him if he wants to spend time together (whether it’s grocery shopping, smoking, or watching a show), they usually offer it with an air of nonchalance. Carmy’s assumed it’s been out of politeness, restraining their expression as to not put any pressure onto him. That’s the person he’s used to, not this uneasy anxiety, someone afraid to ask him to spend time with them.
It reminds him of himself in every way. 
“I’d love to tag along,” he answers easily, just as they’ve always done for him. “I’ve got the whole day off, after all.”
“Right. ‘Course.” He watches their little smile double in size. “I promise to not make you watch me try on clothes for too long.”
“I wouldn’t mind. I like thrifting, y’know.” And you, he thinks to himself. 
“You do? Oh, of course—” They make a contemplative noise to themself. “Vintage denim. I always wondered how you managed to have so many pairs.”
“Once you know where to look, they’re pretty easy to find. I can help you find some, if you want.”
“I’d love that. I realized the other day that I don’t have any dark wash jeans, so—actually, the truth is that I do have a pair, but they’re so fucked up and old that I never wear them anymore. Anyway, I need new jeans. Think you could find some dark wash blue jeans for me?”
“If you’re willing to hit up more than one store, then definitely,” he replies, just a smidge cocky.
“I’m willing to hit up even two more stores.” He pretends to gasp, to which they nod confidently. “Yeah. That’s right. Maybe even three.”
“We won’t need three,” Carmy promises. “I’m better than that. Probably won’t even need two, but…” He shrugs. “We’ll see what they’ve got.”
“Okay, Mr. Confident over here,” they tease. “Let’s see what you’ve got!”
They head out after they both clean the kitchen and freshen up. Carmy gets the flour out of his hair and rewets his hair to revive some of his curls. He silently thanks his past self for showering the night before. With the passage of the morning cold and the rising sun, the afternoon weather’s become brisk and pleasant. However, the weather’s barely a factor in how he’s dressing. 
Is this too much? Is this not enough? He’s switching shirts and pants in the mirror like he’s about to go on a date. He knows he’s not, swears to himself that he’s not, but he’s put product in his hair and cologne on his wrists and temples. It’s not a date, but he can’t fucking decide what to wear. 
He sucks it up and settles on a gray sweater, light wash blue jeans, and white sneakers. From under his collar and at the bottom of his sweater peeks out a brown button up. It’s probably too much, but this is his sixth outfit change. He’s fed up with it and himself.
After adjusting the gold chain that got hidden under his collar, he steps out. 
He finds them already waiting by the door in this thick knit cardigan and fitted plaid pants that makes his heart stutter. When they hear him approaching, their head snaps up from their phone, and their skin sparkles with touches of makeup. 
“You look really nice.” He has no idea how he let that slip, but he’s more shocked that he didn’t stutter once. 
“Ah, th—thank you,” they stammer, fingers fidgeting with the edge of their sleeve. He’s not sure if it's their makeup or their skin that’s doing the blushing. It’s nice to see them being the one tripping over their words for once. “You look pretty handsome yourself.”
“Oh. Um.” Handsome? It echoes in his head. He instantly feels self conscious. So much for being the more suave one for once. “Thanks, uh…I just didn’t wanna wear my work clothes,” he lies in an attempt to ease his embarrassment.
“I gotcha.” He’s glad they don’t challenge him on it. “Shall we head out?”
“Yeah. Where we headed first?”
They take the metro to their personal favorite shop a little up north. The metro’s surprisingly busy for a Thursday afternoon, but the crowd forces the two of them to be huddled next to each other. They’re both standing close to a pole by the window, each with one hand wrapped around the metal. 
As passengers come and go, they step closer to him to move out of the way. Eventually it just gets to a point where they’re standing nearly pressed up against his chest. He tries not to dwell on how that makes him feel, but he can smell the fragrance they put on, and it’s very distracting. 
Luckily, the ride is short. Any longer on the train, he might’ve put an arm around their shoulder, god forbid. 
“If we can’t find what I’m looking for here, maybe you can show me one of your favorite spots to go thrifting,” they say as they enter the thrift store. The interior is decorated, clean, and lovely, and unlike the metro, it’s not packed to the brim with people. It smells faintly of incense, and there’s local art framed all over the walls for sale. It oozes warmth and excitement, much like them. 
“There’s a ton of shit here, so maybe we won’t need to after all.” He finds himself intaking everything at once, eyes flickering from sign to sign. “I’ve never been here before. This is really cool.”
“It’s my favorite place to find new clothes.” They trail down the racks, finger flitting between clothes. “I hope you can find something you like here, too.”
“I’m sure I will.” He’s already walking to their denim section and immediately spots some contenders. “I think I already have.”
He’s not sure if they mean to spend hours in there, but he certainly does. There’s more than just clothes to look at, although that’s what takes up most of his time. There’s dishes, furniture, cds, vinyls, books, even electronics. He goes back and forth with them, clothing articles piling up in his arms as they sit on battered couches together and peruse scratched cds. Everywhere he looks, there’s just more, more, and more. 
“Okay, I’ve gotta cut myself off,” they say as they leave the furniture section. They’ve sat on nearly every chair in that place. “I already have so many clothes to try on, and that’s not even including the jeans you’ve picked out for me.”
“If it helps, some of these are mine.” Carmy flips through the layers of hanging jeans that have built up on his forearm. “If you can believe it, I even found some stuff that isn’t denim.”
“I’m not sure if I can, but seeing is believing.” They thumb through some long-sleeves he’s carrying that are seeping out from under the jeans. “I’m just glad you were able to find some stuff for yourself, too. Not that I was that worried.”
He hands them the jeans he’s found for them, all dark wash and in their size. To his surprise, they also hand him an article of clothing for him to try on. 
“I thought you’d look good in this. You’ll have to show me when you try it on,” they say, and it’s innocent, completely meaningless, but as soon as Carmy agrees and rushes to hide in the changing room, he views in the mirror and sees his flushed face. 
Doesn’t mean anything, he repeats to himself, over and over and over. Stop getting in over your head.
He tries on his items of choice first. The first is a dark green henley that looked better on the rack than it did him, so he puts it in the reject pile. The second is a dark blue long sleeve that fits just right. It’s cheap, too, so it’s an automatic purchase. He presumes the way to word it is that it hugs him in all the right places, but he’s not sure. The rest are jeans, of which only one he decides to buy. A bit pricey, but for the brand and year, it’s worth it (although he basically always uses this reasoning with himself). 
Now, for the piece of clothing they picked out for him. It’s a dark brown t-shirt that seems like it’s just the right length. It’s a muted, yet warm brown, a bit rosey in hue. He doesn’t realize it’s a v-neck until he gets it over his head and down his shoulders. 
“I’ve never worn a v-neck before,” he calls out to the room next to him. 
“Oh, are you trying it on? Do you like it?” Their slightly muffled voice calls back to him. 
“Um…I’m not sure,” he admits with a shaky laugh. The collar is lower than he’s used to. It dips below his collarbones, and between them dangles his chain. “Should I show you?”
“Yes! Hold on, lemme get some pants on. …Okay, I’m stepping out!”
He hears their door open alongside his. When they see him, their expression snaps into what he believes is surprise and delight. He’s sure he looks somewhat the same. 
They’re wearing one of the vintage jeans he picked out for them—dark blue Levi’s. Although they’re rolled up a couple times at the bottom, it seems to fit them just right. As he stares, he’s reminded of his many pairs of Levi’s, and it’s more or less like seeing them in his clothes, which is. Which is. Uh. Yeah.
“I knew that would suit you,” they say with a grin, to which he realizes he can’t hide his blush. 
“It’s not weird?”
“Not at all. It looks good.” They tilt their head to the side as they openly look him over, hip cocked. Something in their gaze is making him hot. “No pressure to buy it, of course.”
“It’s different from what I’m used to, but…” He looks down, smooths the fabric with his palm. “It’s kinda nice, something like this. Um, and what do you think about the jeans?” He needs to direct the attention off him quickly. 
“Oh, I love them. The others ended up fitting not quite right on me, but that’s how it goes.” They move from side to side, almost twirling. It’s cute. “I love these, though. Just a little long, but I’m used to it.”
“That’s how it always is. I can hem them for you, if you want. I usually hem mine.”
“And he sews,” they say, seemingly to themself, but they’re looking right at him. Embarrassing. “If you don’t mind, that’d be amazing. Either way, I’m probably getting them.”
“Good. You should. They fit well.” 
“Yeah?” They glance back into their fitting room, likely examining themself in the mirror, and then back at him. “Okay, then. Definitely getting them.” With that and a cheeky grin, they go back into their dressing room to try on the rest of their clothes. Carmy follows suit, grateful to hide his embarrassed face. 
Carmy heads to check out with the dark blue long sleeve, a pair of jeans, and the brown v-neck. They’ve decided on the pair of jeans they showed him earlier and a little purple tank-top he wishes he got to see on them. 
“Will that be all for you today?” The cashier asks him as he checks out first. Even the cashiers here are pretty nice, he finds. 
“Oh, their stuff, too.” He nods to them, who’s standing right next to him. 
“Carmy.” They glare at him. 
“What?” He feels himself smiling. 
“You can’t do this to me.”
“C’mon.” He nudges them gently with his elbow. “It’s my present to you.”
“Oh, so the present wasn’t the breakfast? Or the cake? Or helping me pick these out?”
“Why can’t it be all of them?” He decides to stop this in its tracks and takes the clothes out of their hands, sliding it onto the counter. “Just these two, and that’ll be it.”
“Just you wait until your birthday hits,” they mutter darkly, shaking their head. “Just you wait.”
“I haven’t told you my birthday.” He pauses. “Right?”
“I’ll ask Richie.”
“No, you won’t.”
“You’re giving me no choice.”
“You could also just, I don't know, not ask—”
“I wouldn't have to if you didn't force my hand—”
“You guys are cute together,” the cashier comments with a smile, surely a harmless, meaningless thing, but it shuts the both of them up. Carmy can already feel the impact of it on his psyche, and he decides to tuck away the surging emotions to unpack later. At least, he'll try. 
“You really didn't have to get those for me,” they tell him when they're exiting the store. “But I guess I should just be saying thank you. So…thank you.”
“Sure. I mean, it would've been better if it was wrapped and stuff, but…” He shrugs. “Had to get you a real present, not just food.”
“Not just food, my ass.” That makes him laugh. “It'll be nice to have something to remind me of this day, though. That's one of the nice parts of getting gifts. Everytime I wear these clothes, I'll think of you.”
“Good. Yeah, that's…good,” he finishes lamely. He nods like their words haven't flustered him, but he's sure they can tell. They laugh, and he can tell it's because of his reaction. 
“I'm sorry that the cashier said that,” they say out of nowhere.
“Why're you apologizing? It's not your fault.” Any embarrassment he was feeling before is immediately replaced with a new, more potent sort of embarrassment. He was hoping they wouldn't mention it. 
“I guess that's true. I don't know, I just…” They trail off. “Just hope it didn't upset you.”
“Not at all,” he lies, and he prays they believe it.
. . . . .
The metro is less crowded on the way home. They sit comfortably next to each other and watch the city pass them by. A part of Carmy mourns the closeness they had on the way there, but the other part tells him to get it together and keep his distance. 
“I'mma take a nap,” they say with a yawn. Their cardigan and bag have been tossed onto the couch. The new clothes have been thrown into the laundry machine, and there's the muffled sound of running water. “Maybe we could smoke and watch a movie later, though.”
“Yeah, that sounds nice.” He peers into the fridge to check on the cake rounds. Just as he left them. “Have a good nap.”
“Thanks, Carm,” they reply sleepily. “Wouldn't be a good day if I didn't get to have a nice nap, after all.” With that, they shuffle into their room and shut the door behind them.
Carmy spends the next two hours flying around the apartment, baking, cooking, cleaning. The sun slowly sets as he goes. He keeps his body and hands moving in hopes that his head doesn't have a chance to catch up, but it manages to keep the pace. It always does.
The crumb coat's fucked up on the left, his first train of thought says. He inspects the surface, eyes following the circumference of the cake. There's a little loose crumb. With the edge of his spatula, he tucks the crumb away. 
The faint smell of chocolate wafts up from the cold cake rounds. He's hunched over the kitchen island, hands reaching between dark chocolate frosting and cake. The afternoon sun casts harsh lights onto the cake, and it glistens. He genuinely can't remember the last time he's made a layered cake. He's never been much of a baker, anyhow. 
You're going to disappoint them, his second train of thought interrupts, running parallel to the other one at full speed. Who do you think you are? You don't make cakes. 
He leans back, inspects his work. The crumb coats are perfect. 
Fuck off, he thinks back, triumphant. Look at that shit. He runs his finger along the spatula, picking up congealed crumbs and frosting. He licks it off, and it's delicious. And it tastes good, asshole. So shut the fuck up.
You're being a nuisance, the thoughts continue. Carmy's pops the crumb coats in the freezer for a quick set. They don't actually like any of this. They're just being nice to make you feel better.
They seemed happy to me, he thinks, but he's faltering. He's washing the dishes, and the sensation of the warm water feels distant. They loved the food I made.
Couldn't you tell they were lying? He doesn't understand why these thoughts are rampaging through his head now of all times. It's not unfamiliar, but it's inconvenient. Keep this up, and you'll actually be surprised when they drop you.
Without warning, a memory hits him . As his hands drip with soap, he's reminded of playing with Michael and Sugar in the summer when he was five. Or six, or seven, he's never quite sure. They were outdoors at a local park, and the heat made the metal of the playground searing hot to the touch.
He was blowing bubbles, and the sticky mixture from the bottle was getting all over his hands. In his memory, Carmy watches the way the iridescent bubbles floated away and left little circles on the surface of the plastic slide. He can't remember why he wasn't playing with the others. He can remember the sound of their laughing voices in the distance, gleeful and delighted without him. He thinks he tried to join in, but it didn't work. It often just didn't work, and it was all his fault. 
The memory ends, and Carmy's finished washing the dishes. 
This is working, he thinks to himself. His hands are dried out from the hot water and soap. I swear to you, it's working. So just stop. Okay?
There's no response. Good enough. 
He hears the door opening as soon as he's putting the finishing touches on the cake. With a damp paper towel, he carefully swipes away stray drops of frosting that fell onto the cake stand. He thinks it's best described as if a tiramisu was turned into a devil's food cake. It's not the best cake he's ever made, but it's definitely up there in terms of looks. All the components of the cake tasted good separately, so he hopes it makes sense in his mouth as much as it did in his head. 
“Have a nice nap?” He asks before he turns his head. They're standing in the hallway, bed hair hastily tied back.
“Sorta. It was okay.” Their eyes are glued onto the cake as they walk up to the island. “Is this…?”
“This is for you, yeah,” he finishes for them. They take a seat on one of the chairs at the island. “It's a, uh, devil's food cake with vanilla mascarpone cream on the inside. The outside's this coffee buttercream…” He trails off, not knowing what else to say. He could mention the dutch processed cocoa powder, the expensive vanilla bean pods, or the endless sifting, but it feels too gratuitous. 
“Wow…” They're still staring, as if it's not quite real to them. “I can't believe this is for me. It almost looks too pretty to eat, but you know I can't wait to tear into this.”
“We could, uh, have it now, if you, if you want,” he says hesitantly. 
“I don't know if I could wait.” Their smile grows wider. “You even put candles on it?”
“We don't have to light them or anything if you don't want to,” he adds quickly. 
“The candles are the fun part. I don't mind that. The song is…okay I guess, but…” They give him an expectant, excited look. “Were you gonna sing for me?”
“...Only if you wanted to,” he mumbles, suddenly stricken with embarrassment. 
“Would that be okay? If I wanted that?”
“I wouldn't mind.” Not if it's you.
“Okay. Then, yeah.” They pull out a lighter from their pocket. “I’d really like that.”
Carmy cuts the overhead lights before taking out his own lighter to help them light the rest of the candles. One by one, the dark room gradually illuminates until it's filled with a warm, orange glow. The flickering flames cast shifting shadows onto their smiling face and reflect into their glossy eyes. 
“Ready?” He asks quietly. 
“I'm ready,” they whisper. 
Carmy doesn't really need to clear his throat, but he does so anyway. He can't recall the last time he sang happy birthday to anyone, let alone by himself. This is the first time he's ever sung in front of an audience, too. 
I can do this, he thinks to himself. I can do this.
His voice is awkward and scratchy. He never uses it like this, has never sang for anyone in his life. His ears burn, and he hates the sound of his voice, but he reminds himself to focus on their delighted little smile and warm gaze. The room is far too quiet for his voice, making the words painfully clear. 
“Happy birthday to you,” he finishes singing, voice trailing off awkwardly. He's more than ready to finish singing now. “Uh, make a wish…?”
“Right.” The two of them sit in the flickering candle light for a moment longer, the silence thick. Carmy watches their face, their eyes boring into the candles with an expression he can only describe as longing. Then, they blow out the candles with a decisive blow, and the room goes dark. 
He moves to switch on the lights. When he turns back to look at them, tears are streaming down their face. 
“Hey,” he says softly. He props his elbows on the counter, standing across from them and tilting his head to the side. They're not meeting his gaze, glazed eyes boring into the dripping candles. “What's wrong?”
“I'm sorry,” they whisper with a sniffle, and it sounds like a reflex. Something about them suddenly seems so much smaller. “I shouldn't be crying.”
“It's okay. I don't mind.” That makes them smile, even if it's shaky. “Was the singing too much?”
“No, it wasn't your singing,” they say with a laugh. “Your singing was lovely. It's just—I'm so happy. You made today so special.”
“Yeah?” He fights the urge to reach over and wipe their tears. “I'm glad. I wanted to make it good. I…” He hesitates. “...I didn't like the idea of you spending it alone.”
“I didn't either. And I thought I was going to have to be alone…but then you—then you took off work, and you made me breakfast, you went shopping with me—even got me clothes—and now this—” Another rush of tears gushes from their eyes, and they hastily wipe at it with their shirt. 
“You've done way more for me. This is the least I could do.” Before he can stop himself, his hand is brushing hair out of their eyes. They freeze for a split second, eyes finally flickering up towards him. “Sorry,” he mumbles.
“It's okay,” they whisper back. “Um…” They let out a shaky sigh, the sort of trembling sound that happens after crying too much. “I feel like I should explain.”
“You don't have to if you don't want to,” he assures them quickly, “but I…I'd like to know. If that's okay.”
“I want you to know. I, I do.” They open their mouth to keep talking, but shaky breaths continue to stifle them. It's hard to watch.
“Breathe,” he reminds them, quietly. He visibly takes in a deep breath, silently encouraging them to breathe with him. They follow suit, closing their eyes and taking a slow breath. Tears slip silently from their eyes. Gradually, their breathing becomes less of a staccato, evening out into something much more manageable. 
“Thank you,” they murmur. He nods. They already sound a lot calmer. “I'm not sure where to start. I…I suppose I'll start with today.” Another deep breath. “I didn’t get a call from my parents today.”
“Ah…” The first missing piece.
“I knew they weren’t going to. But a part of me still hoped…” They stop and shake their head. “It's the first year that it's been like this.”
“What happened?”
“Uh…I went no contact with my family about a year ago.” Another pained, hollow laugh. The second piece. “I didn't even really want to—it was a complicated, shitty situation. My parents were being their usual shitty selves, and I just wanted them to apologize. It was over such a small thing, and, and I just…I don't know. I thought maybe I could fix things.” He's never seen them with such a heavy expression, etched with such weariness. “I just wanted them to apologize to me, Carm. That's all I wanted. And then they cut me off cold.”
Their voice is trembling again, and the tears are falling faster. The collar of their shirt is dark with moisture. Carmy hates that he doesn't know what to say. He hates just staring at them, silent as he tries to find the words. 
Suddenly, he thinks of Michael. 
“Michael never let me work in the restaurant,” he tells them. “That's why I went to culinary school. A big part of it, anyway. He just cut me off, didn't let me in no matter what I did, and it was…” He makes a vague hand gesture. “I felt insane. I was so fucking angry. I couldn't understand him. And I'm not saying that's anything like what you've been through, but…” He looks into their watchful eyes. “I'm sorry. I think I'm trying to say that I, that I understand. A little.”
“I…I appreciate that.” They give him a small, wobbly smile. He adores their smile, but seeing it through their tears twists something painfully in his chest. “He would've been lucky to have you. You're an excellent chef.”
“I am now, anyway.” He sighs. “Your family's missing out on you, too. You're…” Say it. Just say it. “You're a really wonderful person. I can't imagine…”
I can't imagine anyone looking at you and not loving what they see, he thinks suddenly, and he instantly realizes he can't say it. He can barely even comprehend that he just thought it. 
He can't process this right now. This isn't the time. 
“I keep trying to wrap my head around it all, wondering what I did wrong, what I could've done better… Sometimes, the conclusion I arrive at is that I must have done something to deserve this. That I just, I don't know, that maybe I'm just this permanent fuck-up, and…” They run a tired hand over their wet face, through their hair. “My parents fucked me up real good, man.”
There's something familiar about their words, and Carmy realizes it's because it sounds like him. He would've never guessed that under their easy-going smiles was a reflection of himself. He recognizes himself in their self-deprecation, the bone-deep pain. There was always a sense of sympathetic connection between the two of them, but he had no idea. He had no idea how far deep the mutual experiences went. 
A part of him still can't believe that this is the truth, that this is what lies at their core, but then he remembers. He thinks about the night they were throwing up into the toilet. They were sobbing, crying into his shoulder about how much they hate themself. 
“You know you didn't deserve it. Right?” Carmy's not sure when they started leaning in so close to each other. He's looking at their wet eyelashes with startling clarity. “You did all you could.”
“You don't know that.” Their words are so soft-spoken, but it still catches him off guard. “You don't know what happened.”
“You—” Irritation prickles inside him, his instincts itching to snap back, but he doesn't. He sees himself in them, and he holds back. “You're right. I don't know what happened. But I know you.” The shock is on their face as clear as day. “At least, I think I do.”
“I want to think you do, too,” they whisper. “But this—this messy bullshit is also me. I wish it wasn't. I wish you didn't have to see all this. I…don't want you to…think any less of me.”
“I don't think there's anything you could do to make me think less of you.” He doesn't resist dragging his thumb across a stray tear on their cheek. To his surprise, they lean into his touch. “Y'know when I almost burned down the apartment?”
“Oh my god.” They smile, and he feels their grinning cheek against his palm. “Yeah. Is it crazy to say I remember it fondly?”
“A little bit.” They laugh. It's quiet, but it's real. “Remember that talk we had after?”
“I do. Why?”
“You're allowed to mess up on onions,” he says softly. “It won't push me away.”
They stare at him for what feels like a long time. Their eyes refill with tears, but they don't spill. With a clammy hand, they shakily place their hand on top of his hand that's still cradling their wet cheek.
“Fucking onions,” they say finally with a wet laugh. Fresh tears drip onto his thumb, and he wipes them away again. As many times as it takes. “God damnit, Carmy.”
“No one deserves to have shitty parents, let alone ones that walk out on them.” He thumbs away more tears. “You being an imperfect person like everyone else doesn't justify that.”
“There must be something more I could've done,” they whisper. “Something I did wrong.”
“Maybe. But they're your parents, not the other way around. It's not your fault.”
“I know. I know that. I do. There just has to be a reason, because—fuck—the truth would just be too fucked up.”
“...And that is?”
It takes a long, still minute before they can get their words out.
“...It’s—it's that—” Their cries are verging on sobs, increasingly more staggered and uncontrollable. “It's that s-some kids—are just—some kids have parents that will never—never love—”
They can't finish. Their sobs have overtaken their whole body. Their body's hunched over the counter, curled into themself. Carmy can't think of a time where he's ever seen them crying so hard.
Without another word, Carmy pulls them into a hug. 
They cry for a long time. Through it all, fleeting condolences pass Carmy by in his head, but they all feel too cheap, too meaningless. So all he does is hold them tight, letting them grab onto his shirt and soak the fabric on his shoulder. It's all he feels he can really do. 
After a while, the tide subsides. He feels them wilting in his arms, exhausted from sobbing so violently. He doesn't actually want to let them go, but their sniffling nose sounds like it's completely stopped up. 
“I'm gonna get you some tissues, ok?” He says quietly. They make a quiet noise of acknowledgement, and they pull back. He snatches up a box of tissues from the coffee table. He places it in front of them before grabbing them a glass of water. 
“Thank you,” they mumble, voice scratchy. Carmy stands and watches as they blow through several tissues. The water gets downed instantaneously. 
“Better?”
“Yeah. A lot better.”
“Good.”
“...I think, deep down, I know I didn't deserve what happened. Or just having shitty parents in general.” They sigh. “It's just easier to think that I do. That I deserve it.”
“...Yeah.” That resonates with a part of him he's not quite ready to acknowledge. “You're one of the kindest people I've ever met,” he admits quietly. “If someone like you deserves a shitty hand in life, I'm fucked.”
“Carmy…” Their smile is small, but genuine. “Thank you. I want to be able to genuinely believe that, one day. I'm going to try.”
“I know. I get it.”
“I know you do.” 
That makes both of them smile, even if it's bitter. 
“Thanks for telling me. About everything.”
“No, thank you for listening. For just being there for me.” They prop their chin in their hands, their elbows resting on the counter. “Y'know, this past year, I've been trying to find a sense of joy in all this mess. Sometimes it just feels so far away, like…like any happiness is just impossible. But I think I've found it. Rather, I've already found it.”
“Yeah?” Carmy looks at them expectantly, but he never expected this—
“I found you,” they tell him. 
“...” He immediately fixes his shocked expression. He's at a loss for words. 
Me?
“I never found a chance to mention it, but…my parents are the reason I decided to live with you. That's why I wanted to be your roommate, even though we were strangers.” They shrug shyly. “My lease was up on my last place. I was gonna go home, but then all that stuff happened at the last minute, and…yeah. I needed to find a place to live.”
“Seriously?” They just nod. “Damn. Uh…Yeah, that's fucking crazy. I had no idea.”
“At the time, I was miserable. I kept thinking to myself, ‘I can't believe how shitty this situation is!’ Don't get me wrong, it was fucking awful, but…it led me to you, so…it wasn't really all that bad, in the end. I got lucky.”
Fucking hell, he thinks to himself. Fuck.
“If you hadn't roomed with me, I wouldn't have been able to come back home for my brother's restaurant,” he says, mostly because he's so embarrassed that he swears his whole body's red at this point. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. “I think I'm the lucky one.”
“Can't we both be lucky?”
“I guess we can. Just doesn't seem very realistic.”
“Little too late to say that. It's already real.”
“...There's no other shoe?”
“Not that I know of. I think the other shoe's already dropped for us a while ago. Surely there's no other shoes left?”
“I hope not. I don't know if I could take another one.”
“Me neither.”
“...”
“...”
“Do you…want to eat your cake now?”
“Fuck, oh my god—I completely forgot! Yes!”
Just as Carmy planned, the flavors go perfectly together. Even though he knew it was going to be delicious, when he takes the first bite of the cake, relief washes over him. They seem to be overjoyed, inhaling the cake at dangerous speeds. 
“You're gonna hurt yourself if you eat that fast,” he observes, both amused and concerned. 
“Can't talk. Need to eat this.” That makes him laugh so abruptly he nearly gets cake up his nose. “This is the best birthday cake I've ever had, both visually and taste-wise.”
“I'm glad. Like I said, I'm not really a baker, but…I make an alright cake.”
“You make a fantastic cake.” They’ve got a bit of frosting on the corner of their mouth. “It doesn't get much better than this—eating a cake made by you.”
“Because I'm a chef, you mean?”
“No, not that. Not just that, anyway,” they amend with a cheeky grin. “Because you're my best friend.”
You're my best friend.
I'm their best friend, he repeats to himself. I'm their best friend.
He thinks about crying. He won't cry, but he thinks about it.
“Oh,” he replies intelligently. “...Really?”
“Y-Yeah. Unless, uh, you don't—”
“You're my best friend too,” he blurts out, and the anxiety on their face fades away into a relieved, beautiful smile. 
“Thank god. That would've been pretty awkward if you didn't…” They shake their head. 
“I've never been anyone's best friend before,” he confesses. 
“Seriously?” They recover from the shock quickly. “Lucky me, then.”
“I thought you established we were both the lucky ones.” 
“Oh, right.” They chuckle. “Lucky both of us, then.”
Carmy thought that life would always be the same. He thought that he was fated to a routine of nausea and nightmares, never quite close enough to reach a rest point. He thought that he was okay with it being his fate, because he never knew anything else. 
He thought that loneliness, cigarettes, and memories would be enough, because it always stays the same. Nothing ever changes. 
Until them. 
He thought he had outgrown happiness, that his body had grown accustomed to living without it. That there was no longer space in his heart to withstand the weight of joy. But as he sits here with his roommate, chatting and laughing over a cake he made for them, he finds that's not true.
His capacity for happiness had never left. It had been there all along. 
And with that, something in him lets go.
Carmy sees it all at once. It starts from the beginning—he sees the first day he met them, an initially hesitant meeting gone surprisingly well. He sees the first time the two of them smoked together, deliriously laughing through shared smoke. He sees them in the mornings, messy hair and wrinkled t-shirts. He sees them in nothing but an apron. He sees them in tight black clothes that leave little to the imagination. He sees them laughing at a joke that he didn’t think was all that funny. 
He sees them in his dreams, red tomato puree bleeding from their gums. He sees them holding his trembling hands in theirs, soothing him back down from the storm in his hand. He sees them comforting him through his tears. He sees them sobbing, hot tears on their cheek and his hand. He sees them heaving into the toilet, whispering that they want to know him. He sees himself, embracing them tightly in his arms. 
He sees it all. He knows that he can't avoid it anymore. 
Carmy is completely, undeniably in love with them, and there is absolutely nothing that he can do to make that realization disappear.
…Some things, he understands, refuse to stay the same.
~
@zorrasucia @carmenberzattosgf @carmenbrzatto @thehouseofevangelista
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xonavia · 11 hours
Note
Could I request Chigiri, Kaiser and Barou finding out their s/o gifting them a bouquet at one of their games?
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Also so sorry anon but I don’t write for Barou as I’m not super comfortable making sure that he is written canonically! But I did write the other two!!
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-> Michael Kaiser
-> After his match he was already on an adrenaline high not only after scoring the winning goal, but also knowing that you were sitting up the crowd waiting for him after
-> He quickly rushed out of the locker room after taking the faster shower known to man, and when you saw you standing there looking back out over the field holing a bouquet of flowers he could help but have a half smile half smirk on his face as he jogs over and hugs you from behind whispering in your ear
“I was pretty good, do you agree, Meine Liebe~?”
-> You quickly turn around and give him a hug making sure the flowers don’t get squished in the process and when you finally hand him then congratulation him on a good job he can’t help but be a little snarky looking back at all his team mates also leaving and kinda shoving it in their face that he has an amazing s/o and they don’t (please remind him not to be a douchebag)
-> does take one of the flowers out of the arrangement to give it back to you while kissing your hand (man is down bad for you, okay.)
-> Makes sure when he gets home to display them in the nicest place in his house and takes a picture and posts it online professing his love for you in the caption (again..)
-> Chigiri Hyoma
-> A little surprised to see you standing outside at one of his games waiting for him. Not that you never come to his games just that he knows you have a lot of work and it’s not often you see him after the game because of fans.
-> He will speed walk over to you standing there waiting for him and only smile when you notice him, and have a huge smile on your face
-> When you hand him the flowers he’s even more surprised, not that he doesn’t like them, of course not! Just wasn’t quite expecting them
-> But when you seem really excited that you found them before coming to the game he sighs and accepts them
-> He’ll also walk around the stadium with you for a little since he has some extra time (and if you do) and he’ll ask you about the game and if you heard anything funny from the people sitting around you (even if you know nothing about football/soccer he’s used to you making up names or using the wrong names for things so he can figure it out, also I feel like Chigiri would like to know the tea about things but not be in it, that’s why y’all as a couple just sit to the side and watch.)
-> Also when he gets home places then in a nice spot and posts on his private account with them, with a cute small message that is coded only for you to know<3
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estxkios · 13 hours
Note
Hello :3 I luv luv luv all of ur fanfics / headcannons <333
I wanted to ask if you could write a 2005 Bill headcannon where the readers style is cutecore. I haven’t seen anyone do this yet and have been very nervous to ask :0
have a good rest of your day / night you lovely person!!!
OPPOSITES ATTRACT ੈ✩‧₊˚
2005 bill kaulitz x cutecore!reader
summary: the request :3
warnings: just fluff, implied fem reader but i tried to keep it neutral :,)
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the first time he saw you he thought you were the cutest thing ever.
this man did the whole 360 turn to see if his eyes were correct!!:3 (and deep into your relationship honestly he still does this because he thinks ur just adorable !)
the pink skirt you were wearing literally made him go insane he just had to get ur number
i can imagine you giving him the just the cutest dantiest pink bracelet ever, and no matter what hes wearing or what hes doing that day he keeps it on.
like this scary looking man dressed in all black wearing this small little bow bracelet just for u :>
speaking of things like accessories, he randomly takes your jewelry, especially necklaces
one day he took one of your pink chunky necklaces to wear to an event and the other boys were making fun of him
"no way ur really gonna wear that to the event" tom would say
and bil would just confidently reply
"i think it's cute !! plus, it adds to my outfit." :>
needless to say they kept making fun of him, but bill just stood on bussiness.
he would be grabbing the necklace the whole night
just smiling and thinking of you while he touched it
another thing that bill would do is watch you while you did your makeup.
wether it be just some pink eye shadow or a full glitter look he would always be fascinated about how good it always ended up looking !!
so one day he just sat next to you while you were doing your eye shadow and said,
"me next?"
"hm..?" he just sat and looked at you patiently as you processed his request.
"ohhh !" you grabbed your brush and the pallet you were using, "which color do you want?"
he pointed at the light pink, "jus' like you"
you giggled, did he really want pink eyeshadow or was he joking?
he looked at you seriously.
you looked at him with a questioning look as you picked up the brush, rubbing it against the shade he chose.
you lifted his spiky hair out of the way and grabbed his jaw for support,
he stared directly into your eyes as you prepared to start, making you giggle
"close your eyes liebe," you softly said as you started to put the color on his eyes in the normal shape he usually did with his black eyeshadow.
"all done!" you said moments later, putting down the brush.
bill blinked a few times before fully opening his eyes and looking into the mirror.
"cute," you whispered, ruffling his hair.
he didnt say anything immediately after, but he turned to give you fat kiss, and i think that says a lot LMAO
and needless to say, you did his makeup many more times after this :3
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anyways, sorry for how short this is !! i hope i did your request justice because i loved writing it !!
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honeybcj · 1 day
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Omgg the hc where harry is jealous of jeggy kiss im meltingg my heart can't handle lil harry and regs relationship stoopp my brain is melting
How would reg react? Pls i bet he would die for that child in an instant
YES YES YES NONNIE <3
reg would be a little skeptical at first because he isn’t used to being around kids all that much, but it barely takes any time for reg to open up to harry because he’s literally the sweetest kid ever and sooo well behaved and considerate of others (of course he’s still silly and goofy because he’s a literal child but still!) anyway, james is soooo nervous the first time that reg meets harry, but reg truly does melt, especially when he sees james interacting so lovingly with his son. it really hits reg in the face that james is serious about the two of them being together because james isn’t just going to introduce his kid to anyone. harry is a little shy at first because he’s like “woah, he’s cute and i very much like him! he’s my new friend!” and james kisses reg at the end of the little date and harry pouts the whole car ride home because reg didn’t give him a little forehead kiss too. MY HEART MY SILLY LITTLE GUYS <3333
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mrsmiagreer · 1 day
Text
EA SPOILERS
alr david show me whatcha got
OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GABES ALIVE IN THIS ONE DUDEEEEEE WTFFFFFFFFF
AWEEEEE HIS AFRIAD WHINEEEE AWEEEE
at least he’s still with angel
dude gabe’s alive here☹️ </3
Angel always being grumpy this time around🙂‍↕️
Horny all the time😅
“can i have more kisses?” anything for youuuuu
UGH THE BEGGING
I wanna flip this version of David into soooo many different positions dude😭
“That was loud enough, you heard me” 😫😫
HES SUCH A CUTIE PIE SCHWEEETIEEEEE
AMANDA AND CHRISTIAN ARE STILL TG HERE TOO
i love that david is alpha’s best friend here 🫶🏽
“Is everything okay?” Davey ily
“You think i’m cute?”
He’s such a cute rambler
this one is so fluffy my teeth hurt it’s so lovey dovey
my heart is swelling in my chest omg omg omg
“When you look like this, people don’t usually go with cute” aweeee baby what does he look like?
he’s still the biggest🤭
“We could play something or we could always just talk and hangout. I’m good with whatever. I’m easy😄”
“okay i’ll shut up” FUCK DAVID
i lowkey feels like canon david acts like this sometimes on his own🤷🏽‍♀️
“You can be on top of me” I CAN LITERALLY HEAR HIM SHAKING
“huuu angel~” fuck this is too good for me
we didn’t deserve this
“Angel please, you know how bad i want you”
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CANT TAKE THIS
Omg his whines “please angel?” FUCK SHIT DAMN
omg erik…. when that poll comes out for what BA we get next month I’m not gonna know what to do
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nunalastor · 18 hours
Note
Hello! A continuation of Snow White + Tangled AU (and I really need a name for this, I welcome suggestions)
When Lucifer regains consciousness, he realizes 3 things. 1) Lilith's office is destroyed. 2) His...Lilith lied to him. 3) He took off his ring for the first time since she left, and he doesn't know what to do about it.
He just doesn't understand, what did Lilith gain by lying to him? What did she gain by giving him false hope that one day he would get his daughter back? What did she gain by reassuring him by telling him that everyone in hell was looking for Charlie?
He thinks about it and...believes he could understand her. He definitely would have understood if she had told him she didn't want a baby, he wouldn't have demanded anything from her. If Lilith just wanted to rule hell she could have done it, he would have been happy to give Charlie his full attention, he would have let Lilith remain as free as ever while he was a father. So, yes, he understands that it wasn't a priority for Lilith to find Charlie, but why take the option away from him? Because that's all Lilith did, right? She just lied to him when she said they were looking for her daughter, right?
Definitely...her daughter had been kidnapped by that sinner, perhaps with some terrible ideas in mind...Lilith just took advantage of the situation...right?
He can't...he doesn't want to think about that right now. He puts his ring in his jacket and goes to look for some toys, clothes and photographs to take to his daughter. He promised to bring her proof.
When he returns to the hotel, he shows his daughter all her things, everything he treasures, he tells her that her room is intact and that she can go see it if she wants. Her daughter looks at everything almost with...indifference, she touches the dresses and thinks the toys are cute, she looks at the photos and says she recognizes herself in them, but she doesn't seem to feel anything.
He understands, their time together was so short, he doesn't expect her to run into his arms (he definitely does). He tells her that he knows it will take time, but that he really wants to be a part of her life. He tells her that he is very sorry for the terrible experience she had to go through, he apologizes for taking so long to find her, and that he really wants to be her father.
It is to this that he gets a reaction from her. Charlie frowns, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When she looks at him again, she tells him that she will be... happy that they can start getting to know each other, that he can visit her whenever he wants, even if he is not very busy, she will reserve a room for him in the hotel so that he has a place to arrive. But he must understand that she will also be busy, she has a business to run.
She also asks him not to attack her father when he sees him. He tries to protest, but she interrupts him and asks him to understand, regardless of what he believes or what the truth is, the only father she has ever known is Alastor, and that if he wants their relationship to move forward, he must accept that Alastor was, is and always will be part of her life. She tells him that this private meeting between the two of them was Alastor's idea, so that they could talk calmly and determine the basis of their relationship.
Lucifer doesn't want to agree to that, but for now he'll accept it. He just has to show HIS daughter the life that sinner took from her by kidnapping her. He will give her everything she could want.
---
Charlie is...uncomfortable with all this sudden attention.
It's not that she's used to being ignored, quite the opposite. Her first years in society she had respect and attention for being the daughter of the Radio Demon, until she began to garner her own respect. And contrary to what most people in Hell may think, his father was not a heartless monster, he was simply very selective about who showed that soft side.
What makes her so uncomfortable is that the King's attention feels so...false? Like he's overcompensating for something.
That kind of attention is what she saw in some sinners who approached her hoping to get something from her father. That kind of attention where they just give you things and pretend to agree with everything you say.
She didn't want that kind of relationship with the King. She sincerely hoped that he would try to get to know her, and in turn she would get to know him, but even when he pretends to agree with her, it seems like he wants to impose his ideas on her, and frankly, she feels suffocated.
Aunt Rosie always told her that actions mean more than words, but she had to learn to identify when someone was sincere in both their words and actions.
Her father, for example, has always been sincere, not because his morals tell him to, but because he doesn't see the point. Yes, her dad may be sadistic and manipulative, but he is not a liar. He can be brutally honest, or he can disguise the truth, hide or omit information or be quite vague with his answers, but with her he has always been brutally honest.
When she first asked him where babies come from, he told her that there was a method in the human world, but in hell sinners couldn't have children, so he had no idea where she came from. Now, how did she get to him? In a basket.
And after the King's visit, when he told her that she was a princess, she asked her father only two questions.
Would anything have changed if he had known that she was a princess?: "Definitely", her father had no problem admitting that he would have taken advantage of the situation if he had had that information. Perhaps he would have kept her hidden until he realized that no one was looking for her and raised her to hate royalty, convince her to take the throne or give it to him.
Will things change at all now?: "It depends on you", her father doesn't see the point in things changing, she is his daughter, and if she wants the King to be her father or if she wants to be a princess (they are two different things) depends exclusively on what she wants, and as long as she wants him to be part of her life, he will be there to support her.
Charlie didn't need more, her father stepped back and let her make her own decisions. But always at a respectable distance to help her if necessary.
The King seemed quite sincere in his words, but his actions tell her otherwise.
He talks about how he misses her every day, but he never did anything to find her. She wasn't hiding in a tower or some nonsense like that, she was right there, in hell, convicting with the rest of the sinners.
And he seemed sincere when he said he wanted to be part of her life, but it seems like he just wants to buy her off by giving her nice things, say he was a good father, and leave her in some room in his palace.
She can't just have her father deal with the King the way he dealt with freeloading sinners. She simply cannot eliminate the King like she did with sinners who thought she was an easy target.
She supposes she will have to put up with the King until he gets bored. But the moment he does something stupid like trying to put a fountain of champagne or a mountain of caviar in the hotel lobby, she'll kick him to the other end of Pentagram City.
👀
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didderd · 2 days
Note
>.> <.< how would your boys do with a easily flustered shy partner? :o
hehe :3 (under read more, bc it's another long one)
Tic thinks it's cute, and relates a lot to it. he weirdly finds comfort in it, and he'll try his best to make you feel comforted when he's around too. he feels like he doesn't have to be as nervous around you, and might be a bit more straight forward. not very flirty, but takes the initiative more, and where with others his flirting would be very subtle, with you, he'll flirt more obviously (tho still lightly for the most part). he just loves the pretty flush he gets out of you.
Tac finds it adorable. he can't help but push it as far as he can without overwhelming you too much. he takes any chance he gets to make your face light up with that pretty blush, but he'll be patient with you when you do get overwhelmed. Tou has a similar mindset to Tac on this one, but he's not as blatantly flirty most of the time. he'll take any chance to make you blush, but be subtle about it. he plays it off like his flirting isn't intentional, and plays innocent, asking if you're ok and if you have a fever when your face gets so warm. it's hard sometimes to tell if he's teasing or actually doesn't know what he's doing, at least for those who don't know him as well as his brother does. though if you get him alone, and he's either known you for long enough or he's drunk (or very high), his mask will slip. you'll see he will flirt just as much as Tac, and it's all intentional.
Snaps is the worst of them. he is a fuck boy at heart (or soul), and will drive you to the point you feel like your face is gonna melt with how hot it is. he will figure out what makes you the most flustered and abuse that knowledge. he can't help it, you're so cute when you're a stuttering, flustered mess. he is both good with words and touching, and he will use both to get that blush he loves. his only line is crossing boundaries. he has high respect for consent, like anyone should, and he's a pretty good judge of when he needs to back off, or not go any further.
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aiura-stan · 3 days
Text
Onto 0-3!
The first thing I wonder when I start reading this chapter is… why does Saiki repeat himself every chapter? Just to drill it in? I guess this was a serialized manga.
And he includes the same nose joke again… except it isn’t as funny as the original. (“If that applies to you, then please just forget about this conversation” had me in hysterics the first time I read it.)
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Unrelated to anything in particular, I like the large screen tone used on Saiki’s eyes in vol 0. It’s visually interesting. I think Asou sensei could have kept using this to indicate when Saiki was using his powers.
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Here we go! Actually important details to the saikiverse (if you will.) One second of staring at a target is enough to get a glance, but three seconds of staring removes clothing and five seconds removes muscles as well as skin (maybe four seconds removes just skin, revealing muscle.)
No guarantee of how true this is, but I like to think it’s more or less accurate, thinking forward to the Kusuo’s birthday challenge chapter, where he has to spend a lot of time staring at an object so that he can see through it.
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I had forgotten that Chuono makes his first appearance in this chapter. Yay! Chuono san is so cute.
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“At moments like these, what sort of face should I be making?” is another iconic Saiki quote. This gag still manages to be pretty funny in its rough form, imo. *Now* what sort of face does one make?? The kind of face Chuono is making, perhaps. I just love the idea of Saiki meeting an illusionist in the first place. The fake “magician” versus the real psychic who can alter the laws of reality. It’s one of the genius bits in Saiki k.
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I also love the intentional misunderstanding that Saiki is an illusionist. It leads to so many funny situations down the line. Why does this random middle aged man call Saiki “master”? Who knows. In this case, Saiki’s habit of letting people make assumptions really came back to bite him in the ass. (Well, that and trying to out-magic and discourage him.)
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Another detail I like: Saiki missing social cues (in this case, the dip in the conversation where an average stranger would be like, ok, see you, good luck. That’s not very neurotypical of him…
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I really do find this weird stunt hilarious. Saiki’s logic is so off because he inevitably ends up dealing with weirdos expecting normal behavior. C’mon Saiki.
Also, Saiki says here that he can teleport (called apport in the comic proper I believe) not just things, but people into a specific place… crazy
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Saiki doesn’t understand the (reasoning behind the) eyelash/long hair simile? Continuing to build my ND Saiki case material…
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Also enjoying this little panel of Ike-san holding the 500 yen coin, which Saiki definitely gave him.
Well, I think that does it for volume 0 Chapter 3….
see you all soon. 💫
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lightlycareless · 21 hours
Note
uuu just imagine reading manga with naoya in bed while being cuddled up together <3<3
Hello!!!
Ok so this is sweet—kind of domestic amirite? oof. I love me some domestic Naoya when he's nothing but a loving husband. akgfhaksjghkjaghjkashgjas and a nerd too ahahah awww anyways...
warnings: very tiny mentions of smut. implications really. fluff outside of that.
happy reading!!
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Imagine it being a cold snowy day where Naoya doesn’t have to go out on missions, tend to clan responsibilities, or anything else.
A day where he can simply spend his time in nothing but his favorite, deserving things, such as catching up with his favorite series, enjoying a well-deserved break from all those countless missions, and of course, spend time with you—his needy wife who didn’t hold back from letting him know how much she missed him.
“What would you like to do today?” is how the days would begin, with you peppering endless kisses across his face while the two snuggled underneath the sheets.
“Hmmm, I feel like spending the whole day in bed.” He sighs, kissing the top of your head. “The new chapter of the manga I told you about came out yesterday, and I want to read it.”
“I’ll make breakfast, then.” You smile, ready to push yourself up from the futon and rush to the kitchen—though Naoya had something else in mind too.
“What’s the hurry, my love?” he murmurs, pulling you back to him. “Going away from me so soon? I just came back…”
“N—No, of course not… I could never!” you blush. “I just… just wanted to make the best of today, you know? Please you.”
“You know, there’s one thing that will immediately please me.” He breathes against your ear, you shudder.
“…I still have to get your bath ready.”
“Can’t see why we can’t do both.”
You press your lips together, heated by his words.
“Ok, but we can’t get too distracted—I still want you to enjoy your day! You rarely get to rest as of lately….” You pout, he laughs before leaning to give you a kiss.
“With you by my side, there’s no way I cannot.”
After that is done, followed by a relaxing bath and a delicious meal prepared by you—Naoya insists in only being fed by you, not the staff; you happily oblige—you’re quick to take your place by his side on the futon, wrapping one of his arms around your waist and rest your head against his chest while his free hand holds up one of his favorite magazines, the one that publishes his favorite anime of the moment.
“I read they had to reprint this issue solely because of one mistake. Nothing too big, but apparently big enough to have the whole publisher pull out the magazine…”
“Gee, that must’ve been quite the task—And to allow it too! Is the author that big or something?”
“Kind of, he’s the best seller at the moment.”
“No wonder, if he’s not happy, that means no business for them.” You sigh. “I wonder if the change is even noticeable.”
“I don’t know, but that’s what I’ll figure out now—they usually point it out anyways.” Naoya squeezes you against him, kissing the top of your head.
“Well, that’s sounds like a wonderful plan!” You grin. “And if you get hungry, or want something to snack on, just let me know and I’ll bring it to you.”
Naoya blushes.
“I love you.”
It’s your turn to blush.
“I love you too.”
The rest of the evening would go on that way, with Naoya reading his manga, eyes intently fixed on the panels while murmuring to himself whenever particularly interesting scene occurs, if not scoffing when a character does something stupid—just as he did in real life; both gestures that you found incredibly cute, how relaxed he is when doing things he loves.
And though he was very focused on that, he was still attentive enough to your presence and gestures, hands and lips looking for yours whenever you reached out to him or vice versa, as well as allowing you to feed him, careful enough to not distract him that much.
Because you just couldn’t snap him out of trance, you know? He looked so adorable!!
Although it would turn a bit… too much soon enough.
“I don’t—I don’t want anything else, Y/N—” he protests when you try to shove another piece of popcorn into his mouth, going as far as moving away, but you simply stuck to him.
“Come on, you have to eat!”
“Not to this point!” Naoya gasps, stomach full to the point of exploding! Of so it feels. “I don’t—I don’t want anything else!”
“Tough luck, Naoya—If you didn’t want me to spoil you, you shouldn’t have stayed home!” you giggle, and Naoya just relents, because he can’t do anything else when he’s putty to both your adorable charm and insistence, his beloved wife.
A side of Naoya that fortunately, is just for your eyes to see.
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I just realized that Naoya was the kind of guy to say: "I want a wife that is submissive, that is only attentive to me and knows her place and yadda yadda yadda" until you came along and he was like "ok I like that but... I also want kisses...."
Idk I just keep thinking he's very desperate for affection hahaha call it ooc I DO NOT CARE I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM. 😶😶
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this small thing 🥺❤️ him getting all flustered because you're always so caring to him is AGH healing!!! We could literally change him...
Now, thank you so much for sending in this ask ❤️❤️❤️ take care and hope to see you soon!!!
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xkaidaxxxx · 2 days
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Fake love.
Hawks x reader
mentions: Angst, Pregnancy, Baby girl.
1.3k words
“ Keigo you don’t love me.” you said. “ I do love you more than anything,” he replied. “No you don’t…I see the way you look at Macy.” you replied. In this situation you are correct. Macy is one of his sidekicks. She’s so beautiful. She looks like she came out of a princess movie. Her hair flows amazingly. Her laughter is contagious and when she smiles she makes someone else’s day better. She has her own faults. Everyone does but she’s such a wonderful match for Hawks. When he comes home from work he somehow manages to bring her up in a conversation and praise her, even during important events where heroes and their loved ones are invited. There was a specific night that embarrassed you and made you cry like there was no tomorrow. “ Hey Hawks, it's been awhile. This must be your wife?” Macy questions smiling at you. “ No she’s my girlfriend.” he corrected her. “ Hi I’m Y/n. It’s very nice to meet you, Hawks mentions you all the time.” You said and the paparazzi showed up at just the right time to hear what you said. Cameras start flashing, voice records out, and notepads. 
“ Hawks, are you dating Macy?”
“ How long has your relationship been going?” 
“ Is there a proposal coming up?” 
“ Do you work with her because you two are dating” 
“ Give us some updates Hawks.”
“ Macy, do you love him?” 
“ Macy, what type of dates have you gone on with him?” 
And many more questions. 
He didn’t even deny it. Not even Macy. She smiled and walked inside in a hurry. You were pushed to the back by the paparazzi. 
“ You all are not allowed out here. Please leave. I don’t want to call the police here and have you all arrested.” he said. 
“You are in love with her!” 
“ You want her out of harm's way!” 
“ Hawks, are you planning to retire to marry her and have children?” 
He walked inside slamming the door forgetting you. 
You cried hailing a taxi to go home. When you walked inside you slammed the door shut and locked it. “ How did he forget about me? Why didn’t he say he’s with someone else..with me? Why have we been dating for 3 ½  years and he hasn’t asked me to marry me? Am I not giving him what he needs? Am I not good enough?” you asked those heartbreaking questions. “ I am good for him. I give him all my love and support. I love him. I cook and clean and always make sure he’s healing well when he has injuries. I wake up in the middle of the night to make sure he isn’t bleeding when he has cuts. I give him all I have to offer and that’s not enough. He doesn’t appreciate me. He doesn’t love me.” you said. That night and almost all the time your bed felt cold regardless if he was there. You knew that the relationship was loveless so why did you stay?
A week later you were tangled in between the sheets with him feeling happy. Happy because he showed you a bit of love. He was being so gentle and kind. He did start paying attention to you but to him it was almost a job. A task that reminds himself to do. It’s not a natural thing like in any relationship. You picked up on it and it made you feel like a burden. Gave you mixed feelings.
Happy he’s putting in effort and hurting because it’s almost a job instead of being a good boyfriend .
“ I’ll be home early today sweetheart.” Keigo said ruffling his wings. You think it’s cute when he does that “ Okay my love. See you soon.” You replied holding his hand to help you balance has you tip toed to peck his cheek. “ nice energy boost sweetheart.” He said flying away. You closed the door.
You guys are playing house at this point.
2 players
You’re the sad housewife
He’s the breadwinner
You prepared dinner and served it, waiting at the table reading the message that he’s close on by.
5 minutes turn to 15 minutes.
15 minutes to 36 minutes.
The food is obviously gone cold.
Eventually it hit 2am, he showed up drunk. You opened the door and saw his hero friends holding him up.
“ Do you need help taking him upstairs?” Best Jeanist asked. “ No sir. Thank you all for bringing him home.” You replied taking him and closing the door.
“Keigo get up. Now!” You ordered. He stood up leaning against the countertop. “I’m s’hungry. Dinner?” He said seeing the cold food.
You didn’t even bother to talk to him. You simply went upstairs to sleep.
This happened a least 5 times. When he was brought home..each time the guys would ask if you needed help. If you were okay. After all, heroes save people. Each time you said you’re good.
He did suddenly change. He did give you more attention. He’s doing it as a routine. Not out of love but out of pity. Out of guilt .
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Things he’d say to himself:
-Okay remember ask her about her day.
-watch her as she gets ready for bed and give her a kiss here and there
-don’t forget it’s date night
-Make sure to buy gifts
-never cause something to upset her
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4 months went on by.
“ You’re joking. False positive. It’s a false positive.” You said and decided to take another test. Minutes went on by. “ Definitely Positive.” You spoke trying to calm yourself down. You threw away the pregnancy tests. “ I’m pregnant. I need to set up and appointment.” You said. You were thinking about abortion but you’re creating a baby. A life. That’s something you shouldn’t take away. You decided to keep it.
You were 1 1/2 months along. You were getting signs a week ago. Now you’re showing a bit of a bump.
You’re so nervous and excited to have a baby. You thought Keigo will be overjoyed. You were working on a way to tell him about it.
Tshirt?
Straight up test in his face?
You chose to sit him down, saying you have a gift and hand him a pregnancy test.
The day finally came an you were glowing! You changed into something cute and did you make up. You wore the jewelry he had recently bought you. “Sit down very quickly. I have news for you!” You said jumping up and down. “Hey I’ll be away for about a year on hero work. The United States is waiting for me. I leave in 3 hours..endeavor is waiting for me outside..I’ll keep you updated. Tell me about your news later or I’ll be late.”he said leaving a peck on your cheek. “ Don’t promise that you’re going to write or call…you’ll be busy and I’ll only be worried if you don’t respond soon.I love you so much Keigo” you said. “ I’m still going to call. I love you princess. I’ll try and get home early.”he said leaving. As soon as you were about to tell him you're 2 months pregnant this man is saying his goodbyes and leaving“ God, Keigo, just please remember we had it all. I gave you absolutely everything I had to offer you.”You said. “Time for a fresh start.” with that you went on about your day. It took about 2 months to find a new place to live. You now live about 2 hours away from the countryside of Japan. It was peaceful. The neighborhood held a welcome party for you. When you went to your monthly check ups the woman would feel bad for you. You had no husband, not even a boyfriend that could accompany you. “ It’s a girl!” the gynecologist said happily. You looked at the screen with tears slipping. “ She’s going to be such a cutie pie.” you said giggling. When you hit 7 months It was even harder. You struggled washing your clothes, picking up things from the floor, you couldn’t put on shoes, so you wore slippers all the time. You’d have sleepless nights when your baby girl kicked and moved around a lot and when you craved something, you’d have to drive yourself to the store. 
Miu decided to come two weeks early. If Keigo stayed by your side during your pregnancy you wouldn’t have struggled much. He’d be taking you to the hospital, not the ambulance. Miu’s dada wasn’t there to see her be born. Wasn’t there to hold your hand, wipe your tears and sweat away as you pushed. It was only the nurses and the doctor. After the birth of your daughter you still gave her , her fathers last name. 
The worst part of all of it is that you’re young. 19 having a child with a 23 year old man. Not a huge age gap,but you are barely starting your life. Soon after your daughter turned 4, you moved back to get her a better education and you a better job. $9,500 yen an hour isn’t bad for a beautiful home and to raise Miu. Everything is good for you and little Miu. You both had each other and that’s all that mattered.
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Continuation will be posted soon
Another hero will be involved ! Read carefully there’s a little clue !
<3
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