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jinxxsims · 1 year

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Full disclaimer to begin with. This is just how I do conversions. There are no doubt other ways, possibly even better ways to convert objects, but this is the way I know how. This post is going to be long and image heavy and I am going to walk through it slowly so nothing is missed. If any of it is still confusing once you've gotten through it, feel free to send me an ask and I will answer to the best of my ability. Part One of the tutorial under the cut!

Programs You Will Need (and links where you can find them):

SimPE

Sims 4 Studio

Blender

Milkshape

Not Strictly Necessary, But Certainly Nice To Have:

The Compressorizer by JFade or @lazyduchess edit which can be found here

A Photo Editing Program - I use Photoshop, but GIMP is a completely free, open-source program and it would work just as well for recolors or texture editing.

Now onto the tutorial!

Step One - Launch Sims 4 Studio. If it is your first time launching Sims 4 Studio or if you had launched it before without maybe knowing what to do, click on "Settings" and make sure everything is pointing where it needs to.

If it's not, the objects from the Sims 4 games, EPs, and kits you own won't show once you get into the studio. Once you've adjusted the paths, hit "Save."

Step Two - From the main screen of Sims 4 Studio, select the "Object" header.

Leave it on "Standalone Recolor." Once you hit the "Object" header, the studio will begin loading all the Sims 4 meshes in your game. It will just take a few seconds for the objects to populate.

Step Three - Choose the object you want to convert.

You can use the "Game Pack" or the Search fields (which I highlighted above) to narrow down the items instead of being bombarded with all of them at once. For this tutorial, I'm going to be converting the "Caress Chair" from the Base Game.

@sims4t2bb is the most amazing database of 4t2 content. Here you can find the various packs and kits and see what has been converted already, so you don't end up converting something that's already out there available for download. Seriously, this is an amazing resource. @lafeeverte-sims and @twentyfourfirst-sims update this database in practically real time. I don't know how they do it. This is easily one of the single greatest resources for the 4t2 converters out there. Bookmark it and check it often.

Step Four - Select the item you're going to convert and hit "next" down in the bottom, right-hand corner.

Once you've clicked "next," you'll be prompted to give your file a name and choose where to save it. THIS FILE IS USELESS. It will not be used at any point during the conversion process. In fact, you can delete it the moment Sims 4 Studio creates it. If having a lot of files around confuses you more, get rid of it right away.

For my own part, I keep it around because I have the short term memory of a goldfish. I use it to set up what I'm eventually going to name my mesh file. So in this particular instance, I named this pointless file jinxxsims-4t2-base-caresschair because it is the Caress Chair and it is from the Base Game. I know, super original, right? It works for me though.

You could name this thing xyz, it wouldn't matter. As I said, the file is never going to be used. Give it a name, hit "save," and Sims 4 Studio will spend a few moments getting the file up and ready.

Step Five - It's time to gather the components of the object. First, let's get the mesh.

Choose the "Meshes" tab. The LOD 0 (High) field should already be selected. Don't change it. Finally, choose "Export Mesh." You'll be prompted to give your mesh a name. I always just name mine "mesh," because I want there to be no doubt about what files I have floating around in my WIP folder.

Once you click "save," the game will spend a few seconds extracting the mesh as a blender file. Once it's done, go to the "Texture" tab.

Step Six - Gather the textures.

Highlight one of the color swatches at the top of the window. The first one will always be the "mesh" color. Click "export." You'll be prompted to give your texture a name. I always save the first one as "mesh."

Click on each swatch and extract the textures the same way. You will be prompted to save each swatch when exporting them. I name all of mine in the simplest way possible.... rc-1, rc-2, and so on.

KEEP IT SIMPLE. Especially when just getting started. Feel free to get fancy once you get the hang of things, but when starting out... simple is best.

This is what my WIP folder looks like after I've exported all the textures. Regardless of what you're converting, yours should look similar.

Step Seven - Double-click the "mesh" file to have it open in Blender.

Full disclosure. Blender absolutely baffles me. I know there are people who can create objects from scratch in it and do other, all kinds of impressive things, but... that is not me. I use it for roughly sixty seconds, just to get the mesh in a format that Milkshape will accept, and that's it.

The first thing we need to do is eliminate the white boxes beneath the chair until the only thing left is the mesh. On the right hand side of the window, there are listings of what the mesh is currently composed of. "s4studio_mesh_0," "s4studio_mesh_1," and "s4studio_mesh_2." Next to each, there is what looks like a little eyeball. Click the eyeball and what that part of the mesh is will disappear.

In this case, when you click the eyeball next to "s4studio_mesh_0," the big white box disappears.

So, we know that "s4studio_mesh_0" is really just that white box. Go ahead and delete it by right clicking "s4studio_mesh_0" and choosing "Delete" from the drop-down menu.

Next, click the eyeball next to "s4studio_mesh_1" and the tiny white squares under each leg disappear, so we know that that layer of the mesh is just more white boxes. Right click "s4studio_mesh_1" and choose "Delete" from the drop-down menu.

You're left with just the mesh on its own, and that's perfect! In my experience, the white boxes are almost always on layers 0 and 1 if there are 2 sets of white boxes.

Step Eight - Export the mesh as an OBJ.

Go to File > Export > Wavefront (.obj)

A panel with settings will appear on the left side of the screen. Leave the default settings, but uncheck "Write Materials" beneath "Include UVs." If you leave it checked, that's ultimately fine. All it does is create an unnecessary file in your WIP folder. I uncheck it because the less unnecessary files you have floating around, the better, because there's less of a chance of confusing yourself.

Set your file path to your WIP folder (that's the black line in the image above) and give your mesh a name if you want to rename it (I just leave mine as mesh) and then click "Export OBJ." Once you've done so, you can exit Blender and delete the Blender file that Sims 4 Studio created.

This is what my WIP folder looks like now:

Step Nine - Launch SimPE. Once the program has opened, launch the Object Workshop. I have mine in a side panel, but you can also launch it by going to Tools > Object Creation > Object Workshop. When the Workshop launches, it will ask you to choose between "Start" or "Open...".

"Start" is for cloning and recoloring Maxis objects. "Open..." is for cloning and recoloring custom objects. When doing conversions of things like chairs, tables, beds, etc., choose "Start" and clone from Maxis objects. Clone from "Open..." when creating objects Maxis doesn't really have in the catalog... like the sprinkler I just shared, the single-tile workout bags I shared, or like an end table with multiple slots when you don't want to add the slots in yourself.

Since this is just a basic dining chair, we're going to choose "Start." This will take a little while for SimPE to load the whole Sims 2 catalog. Just be patient. When it's finished loading, you'll be presented with a list that looks like this:

In this instance, I'm going to choose "Seating" and then "Dining Room" since I'm converting a dining chair. This will make sure that the chair I'm converting has all the functions of a dining chair... like it will be pushed in under a desk or a table rather than be stationary like a living chair.

How do you know which object to clone? Honestly, sometimes it's a bit of a crapshoot. IgnorantBliss on MTS has compiled a list of easy-to-clone objects here that you can download and reference when cloning. I used it A LOT when I first started converting.

When you select an item to clone, most of the time it will tell you which EP it is from. I think it's generally most accepted to clone from Base Game items if there is a Base Game item available to clone from, because the most people will be able to use it, but in my own personal opinion... at this stage in the game and time, clone whatever works for you. The Sims 2 is abandonware. Everyone who wants to play the Sims 2 has access to the full game, with all its EPs for free.

OldGamesDownload works in partnership with the Internet Archive to preserve games that have been abandoned by their creators and keep them available to the public. All Sims 2 (and Sims 1!) games can be found on their website, free of charge.

I say all of that just to say... if you clone a dining chair from Apartment Life rather than the base game... that's fine! You're not obligated to meet everyone's needs, and if someone doesn't have Apartment Life but really wants your dining chair, the means to get it are out there. Create for yourself and your own convenience first.

For this tutiorial, I'm going to clone the base game dining chair "Tea Party in Teak." Once I've highlighted it in the list, I'm going to choose "Next" at the top of the Object Workshop panel.

Step Ten - Clone the object. Under "Task," choose Clone in the drop down menu. My settings look like this:

Once yours match, choose "Start."

This will bring up a panel for you to choose the name, price, and catalog description for your item. Notice how I never told you to close Sims4Studio? That's because I go back to it now to copy the information from Sims 4.

In the Sims 4 Studio window, choose the "Catalog" subheading and copy the information over to SimPE.

I always add a line beneath the description with my screenname. If I'm converting CC from Sims 4 rather than EA content, I also always include the original creator's name. I would encourage others to do the same. This way, if there's a problem with something you shared, people know who to contact. Or, if someone gets a WCIF for an object you shared, it's easy for them to know who the maker is to help a fellow Simmer out. And if you convert someone else's object, it's just in good taste to give them the credit they are due.

Once you've given your object a title, price, and description, click "Finish" in the Object Workshop. You can also close Sims4Studio at this time.

Step Eleven - Finish preparing the clone and save your mesh.

The Scenegraph rename Wizard comes up after you hit finish. In the ModelName field, give your object a name. Not everyone does this, but I do, for neatness and clarity's sake. Once you've given it a name, click "Update," and all the values in the field will be adjusted.

Ta-da! Click "OK" and you'll be prompted to save your mesh. This is when I use that dummy file that I said you could delete immediately from Sims 4 Studio. I click it so it automatically names my new save, then I add -MESH at the end.

In this case, my save file is now jinxxsims-4t2-basegame-caresschair-MESH. I always do all capitalized "MESH" because I think there's less of a chance of anyone deleting the mesh accidentally when it's there all big and bold.

Click "Save" and SimPE will create the file for you. If you hung on to the dummy file like I did, at this point, you can delete it.

And that's where I'm ending "Part One" of this tutorial. I will work on "Part Two" which will take you the rest of the way through conversions later today and hopefully have it up tonight or tomorrow!

#tutorial #resources #4t2 conversion

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traitor-boyfriend · 2 months

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what did you think of spring break. gay stan is canon now basically right

(edit: meant to publish this a while ago and forgot because I have the short term memory of a goldfish now)

This made me realize I never gave my thoughts on the last two episodes. Will do another day. (ron howard arrested development narration: she did not.)

To answer your actual question, I -love- how often an episode plot that tangentially relates either directly or more discreetly to some kind of societal crisis of masculinity and/or gender anxiety includes Stan. obvious examples include Cissy, wherein which Stan is seemingly the only one outside of Wendy and Cartman's Shakespearean twelfth night transgender double bluff who has any semblance of actual "crisis" over the modern conception of gender identity, for seemingly no reason? We don't get a scene of him trying on a dress (*cough* chp9 of abfooc *cough*) or asking "what if I'm not a boy?" but his scenes seem to suggest or imply he is asking those questions privately with himself. Stan also shares a lot of focus in tweek and Craig -- not necessarily that homosexuality as a subject for commentary is 1:1 interchangeable with masculinity *now* but for an older generation, like those of Matt and Trey's age, it certainly is, and there really is no way to create a clear cut distinction between homosexuality and transgenderism as two separate experiences with no overlap despite efforts to on both sides of the culture war. Literally the first season of south park has Stan befriend a character named Big Gay Al and proclaim to the entire town that homosexuality is a natural and beautiful thing against the backdrop of our a-plot in which Stan laments his dog being gay b/c he isn't a 'butch' manly dog. Combine that with Stan's growing romantic disinterest in both Wendy specifically (with an episode -this- season showing just that) and girls more broadly as the show has gone on, goddamn. nevermind the subtext we can project onto on the covid specials where Stan, unwell and suffering the simulated tyranny of marriage to a woman (or, woman-figure. We are talking about a robot here.) Is only able to achieve any semblance of happiness by travelling into his own past to tell himself he needs to forgive Kyle or he will regret it every day for the rest of his life. So.

straight Stan -- 0. Gay Stan -- 1

honestly I think part of this is probably that trey parker in a lot of ways strikes me as someone very much so not a Man's Man, y'know. He's loves the shock value, paegentry, and the spectacle of flirting with cross dressing, homosexuality, and gender non-conformity in his chosen mediums in a very attuned... Dare I say, almost butlerian fashion. and also in a way that only infrequently comes across as judgemental or cruel. Though this is obviously not coming from a queer theorist framework and more just trey Parker's longstanding "if you tell me I can't do this I will just to spite you and also fuck you I can do what I want." attitude.

long story short, yeah. yeah stan's gay. throw up the banner.

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unpopularshipbracket · 10 months

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Round 2b Match 1

Rashmi Jamil/Amelie Macon (Entropic Float)

Fic count: 0

Milo/Piers (Pokemon)

fic count: 29

"COUNTRY BOY X EMO CITY BOY, HIMBO X GOTH, SHORT AND STRONG X TALL AND SKINNY, SUNSHINE ONE X GRUMPY ONE C'MON GUYS THEY'RE EVERYTHING it is MIND boggling they aren't more popular"

Rashmelie propaganda under cut!

Rashmelie:

"this essay is going to be reused whole cloth from the submission of them to the 17 million years of pining poll! because unfortunately i do not have the energy to go insane enough to write up anything new oh.

my god. where the fuck do i start with them for real.

okay so, theyve been friends since early childhood, and before either of them came out (Rashmi is agender, they/them, while Amelie is a trans girl, she/her, and they are both mspec which is a bit less relevant but is also there). the earliest time that we know that they have feelings for each other is when theyre both 14, and Rashmi - already out, with their entire family (parents and grandma) supporting them without question - is moving. uhhh 90% of american geography names are the same to me so i might lie there. from Nevada, where they both grew up, to New York, where Rashmi is planning on studying dance further, which has always been their plan; around 14 is when they ran out of teachers at home.

they quietly hope Amelie doesnt confess her feelings for them, as they fear it might tempt them to stay, which they cannot allow themself to do. Amelie, meanwhile, is very carefully not thinking about gender, because her parents are quite frankly the worst. over the course of the years before they meet back up, Amelie has had some dates, but each time, they dont work out, and in her own words, put logs on the flame she carries for Rashmi.

Rashmi, meanwhile. gets married. one of Rashmi's biggest struggles in their romantic pursuits has been the fact that they are both Indian and queer. it has been a struggle for them to find someone who respects both - someone who respects their gender identity while not throwing their culture under the bus. that is one of the factors contributing to the way their relationship with "Ajay" (we learn that this name isnt his real one, but it was magically replaced in Rashmi's memories of him and we dont know it) played out: he is also Indian, and the first thing he asked them upon meeting them was what their pronouns were. and it was all good.

until it wasnt.

i would love to get into that deeper, but the important point is that "Ajay" is kind of a piece of garbage, whose crimes include finding Rashmi's address when they didnt give it out, deliberately not sending Amelie her wedding invitation because Rashmi told him they used to have a crush on her, driving them to drop out of dance school, and general possessiveness (notable being the fact that, whenever he is home, he always asks them to stay home too, which leads to them dropping their social circle and their hobbies). one of the places it grows from is "Ajay" being ace and not quite believing that Rashmi accepts that. he also has a substance abuse problem.

all of that culminates as they return from a short visit to their parents, and he in a fit pushes them down a long flight of stairs.

in the meantime... god, i cant even figure out what parts of information are important about Amelie here. i would put as notable the fact that she only figured out she was a girl something like a year before the events of the game - and only ever came out to Rashmi, who in turn told their parents...

and who didnt realize that Amelie's workplace didnt know. her workplace is just. terrible in social terms. she loves the work itself (its food industry, a restaurant in a casino, dont remember the exact job description) but her coworkers are being the absolute worst. a cesspool of toxic masculinity. also an environment for Amelie's undiagnosed psychosis. she is prone to auditory hallucinations.

after being outed to her boss while also hearing from Rashmi's parents that their husband is... lets just say bad for them, she, while safely at home, hallucinates that her boss or maybe her father is breaking down the door.

simultaneously with Rashmi as they are falling down the stairs, they make Wishes.

these are not widely understood; from the context of the game, it seems as though some people get a Wish when in significant peril, or in distress. you do not need to use the Wish immediately as you get it, but they both did.

essentially, what Rashmi Wishes for is a way to escape from their husband that wouldnt raise a fuss; and Amelie Wishes for a place where she and Rashmi can both be safe. (i am very muddly on the details there) their Wishes create the anomalous clocktower where the game takes place."

#poll #piers pokemon #milo pokemon #pokemon #piers x milo #milo x piers #entropic float #rashmelie #rashmi jamil #amelie macon #pokemon sword and shield #sword and shield

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rad-roche · 4 months

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session 0 for the fallout tabletop i'm gming (or... ehe.... overseeing... oho) with The Girls is this sunday. character creation, rules n such. now i'll be frank with you, this is going to present a challenge for me. i've only played a tabletop one time and i was killed brutally by a bear after the barbarian threw me at it to see if the bear would kill me. also i'm awful with numbers. have short-term memory problems. long-term memory problems. let's not even get into how my mid-term memory is. but what i do have is a google doc, multiple people strapped to a chair and a truly unearned level of storytelling confidence. i can't do this so badly somebody dies, so eh, it'll be fine. unless somebody does die, of course. i'll see where the night takes me

#text post #fallout ttrpg #plan is prewrite couple of paragraphs for places/people and absolutely wing everything else #might post my notes after if there's interest #it's just dmt/dww descriptions but Small and Lots #none of us have done 2d20 so the pressure is off: none of us know what the hell is going on

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nicomrade · 6 months

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On being lost in the Labyrinth; a Souichi Kiruma and Kaoru Yukiide joint analysis.

I've been wanting to write about Souichi for a while now, but Usogui is BIG and DENSE and goes a LOT of places and Souichi (/Hachina Naoki/Hal) has unstable memory and his role in the story varies a lot (sometimes antagonist, deuteragonist, love interest, side-kick, … ) so... To properly talk about this in one coherent, whole way I had to limit my scope by A LOT so I'm going to look at Souichi through the lense of Kaoru Yukiide, the ways they mirror each other, where they differ and what it means for the broader themes of both Souichi's story and Usogui (manga) in general. And try my hardest to stay on topic.

The full piece turned out almost 7k words long so join me for a bit of a journey under the cut! I included as many images as tumblr allowed me to and it's sectioned in 6 parts including the short prologue so it's hopefully not too hard of a read. Cheers! 🐜🐝

0. Prologue

Kaoru Yukiide is a minor antagonist for the 1st part of the Labyrinth gamble (chapters 83 to 104) of Usogui. His active participation feels almost cut abruptly short but this is indicative of the kind of character he is. He’s no Sadakuni and no Vincent Lalo, he’s just Yukkii. But in those 20 chapters he’s given a full inner world and a full character arc. He is a complete character.

He was diagnosed at 12yo with Encephalitis lethargica (“sleepy sickness”) and at 15 he went into a coma. He’s the son of a police official involved in framing innocent people for crimes the wealthy committed, all for the sake of “keeping order”. His father framed his own wife in one of these schemes, and eventually took the blame for a higher-up’s crime himself. This is a duty and fate Kaoru inherited after waking up from his 10 years coma. He’s now the one who frames innocent people and he, too, will shoulder a death penalty for something he didn’t do. This catastrophic loss to Baku not only condemns his life it also made him realize how twisted his actions and his idea of order have been and it triggers another catatonic episode in him. He’s a character who’s been deeply hurt by following along with what his parents taught him was right without questioning it, and when this worldview crumbles, so does he. But his epilogue in chapter 147 is a happy one! Kaoru wakes up, and yes he now has to come to terms with all the harm he’s done and he feels like it would’ve been better if he’d stayed functionally dead, but he has people who care about him and who will help him. You are never truly alone, things can always get better, you CAN break free from your family’s Labyrinth.

I think Kaoru’s generally an easy character to find hope in- as someone who caused immense harm, but who was still a victim of his circumstances and got to have a second chance at life. In-story we have Marco who comments on the two of them being the same and a lot of what I will discuss here will apply in some measure to him too as a mentally ill character with an abusive dad. However, I find he has striking similarities with Souichi’s story specifically, and looking at the two together can help us shine a light on the complicated fate at the heart of Souichi’s character. I realize by using Kaoru as a tool to talk about someone else- a means to an end and not his own person- I’m perpetuating the very workings of his abuse. I’m sorry Yukkii :(

I. Inheritance

Souichi and Kaoru are both successors to their fathers and they were raised to follow in those footsteps. Souichi, as a Kiruma, is a member of a “sinful bloodline” and was always going to be 21st Leader of Kakerou. His dad raised him this way and put him under Eba’s guidance all so he could stand at the top of Kakerou- the ones who make sure the rules are obeyed perfectly.

[1. Vol 37 Ch. 404 Duwang translation 2. Vol. 9 Ch. 93 Easy Going Scans translation]

Kaoru was not strictly raised as a successor in this way but he inherited this vision of order from his dad, one where the ants that step out of line must be killed. Both him and Souichi are sons who took on that very heavy duty to “keep order” after their respective fathers, and they both became orphans from it. Kaoru’s mom was sacrificed by her husband, and then he sacrificed himself too, leaving Kaoru alone when he woke up at 25. Similarly, Souichi’s mom died before he was born and he will lose his father during the course of the story. He was orphaned, too.

This is not to imply that Tatsuki Kiruma (Souichi’s father) had a personality like Yukiide senior. Kaoru’s dad is characterized as borderline abusive, he is refused any real kind of redemption as we don’t even have a first name or a face to put on him during the Paper Labyrinth chapters. He is the shadow that haunts Kaoru, and he is talked about as the origin of this specific worldview. Tatsuki was an odd father but he was not responsible for his wife’s death and he, too, inherited this fate from his own parents. He is not the root cause of Souichi’s ill. Where Kaoru was lied to and manipulated into following in his father’s footsteps, Souichi became leader willingly. This is getting to the impact a heavy family history can have on someone (whether forced onto them or embraced by them) more than any one individual father’s harm.

The impact of that family history is shown in Kaoru with his sleepy sickness that makes him literally absent from his own life at times. It is a way for him to escape from the real world and the responsibilities and ideals pushed on him. I think it’s very meaningful that his big episode was triggered at 15, that’s right into his first year of highschool, soon an adult. And this mental harm is also seen in Souichi and his chronic memory loss. His own timeline is more vague than Kaoru’s but I think it’s fair to estimate Souichi was around 15 during the 1998 flashbacks, which is when he has a significant memory loss episode and also when he receives doctor feedback on this illness. It is first said to be without cause but later confirmed this is a way for him to remain “perfect” at all times, by throwing out the memory of his flaws and resetting himself back to a clean slate. This is how he is coping with this responsibility of being (or becoming) leader of Kakerou. In Kaoru, this weight puts him in a coma and creates a 10 years gap in his memory, for Souichi it will lead to him forgetting a length of 10 years after the Tower of Karma arc. Sounds familiar?

[vol42 Ch 454 Duwang translation]

What they’ve inherited from their fathers is not just this responsibility towards order, it is also more literally a spot where they have to resort to playing rigged games. Kaoru’s routine with the Paper Labyrinth game is revealed in the manga to be nothing more than a well-practiced script. We see a similar resort in Souichi for the Flying Vehicles bet where he simply has Baku’s (Kakerou appointed) men betray him. This way of approaching games goes against how the Usogui manga portrays gamblers. As shown in Drop the Handkerchief when Souichi admits re-using these sort of means for this game would not give him a “perfect victory” and when Baku congratulates him on “gambling” for the first time, a gambler in Usogui is not just someone who participates in gambles. They are a kind of person who is able to cling to a low chance of victory and keep to their unlikely plan the whole way through all because they aspire to something better than they already have. They are moving forward with no certainty of what will come of it because the reward is worth the risk to them. We see it in Kaji’s character arc, first someone who is the perfect prey to various scammers but who is then able to keep to his convictions and win the Contradictions game without killing his opponent.

Souichi and Kaoru are much closer to the Kaji in that 7-Stud Poker gamble (who is totally out of his depth the second things don’t go as he thinks they should, who loses large sums of money without truly registering it’s happening) than to him in his face-off against Floyd Lee. Think of Souichi accepting and then losing the bet with Baku on the Missile Launch for a grandiose sum, or how he hides behind Yakou in the tunnel. Kaoru is a volatile character during his games, incapable of thinking on his feet (he freezes completely when Kaji interrupts him), think of his outbursts against Kaji or Kadokura that he frames as righteous. The two of them are only performing for the sake of rules and order. They aren’t gamblers because they don’t have that thirst for something better, their drives are completely extinct. They have accepted their situation despite the harm it’s causing, all for the “greater good”.

[Vol48 ch523 Duwang translation]

Their common obsession with puzzles (Kaoru’s Labyrinths and Souichi’s Rubik’s Cubes) is part of this drive for rules and keeping order. Chapter 101 gives us this narration: "Upon first glance, the bewilderment and fear of not knowing what lies ahead reminds one of disorder. But, in ancient times, people created and solved these [mazes and puzzles] to acquire the feelings of relief and order." This text is illustrated by a jigsaw puzzle, a sliding block puzzle, Picross, Tetris and, on the next panel, a Labyrinth as Kaoru knows them. This explains the symbolism behind the Labyrinth Gamble for the Police Department (“The Labyrinth [...] doesn't just solve unsolved cases, they are being solved at the hands of the police.") but also for Kaoru himself. This is a way to fulfill his own need for order, and this idea applies to Souichi too. The Rubik’s Cubes give him relief throughout the story with too many appearances to list comprehensively. We see it as a memory exercise (post-memory loss in the Hangman tunnel, chapter 64), as a motif on a childhood T-Shirt (chapter 412), it simply helps him think (he’s seen playing with one at Gakuhito’s, chapter 273), and the imaginary cubes in Drop the Handkerchief. This culminates in the Rubik’s Cube becoming a symbol of Souichi himself as made explicit in chapter 521. By seeing himself reflected in the cube he is made to be the object of his own obsession. Solving the Cube then becomes his urge to “solve himself”. It is dehumanizing and belittling of his own (very real!) mental problems to view himself as a puzzle that exists for the only purpose of being solved- and that CAN be solved at all. What’s the “true ending” of the human mind? This is not something that has any answer or exit. We know that by the end of 2008, Souichi has resetted his memory 138 times. Souichi and Kaoru are trapping themselves in their own Labyrinths here.

[1. vol10 Ch101 Easy Going Scans Translation 2. vol48 ch521 Duwang translation]

In a way, Kaoru IS the Minotaur: a son who was locked away to his Labyrinth where he is fed innocent victims regularly, both victim and executioner, all because of his father’s sins. Along with Souichi, they are two kids who were groomed into taking their father’s place and have shouldered the weight that came with it from a very young age, and this weight has formed cracks in their minds. This is their way of coping with their fate: they stop being fully present in their own lives, they stop wishing for more, and they blame themselves.

II. Worker Ant and Prince Bee

It’s made clear during Kaoru’s breakdown that ultimately, he too, was an ant. In that final moment before losing consciousness he remembers how, as a child, he did not crush the ant that had strayed out of line. He’d tried to guide it back with its peers, but it did not follow and was accidentally killed. I think both Kaoru and Souichi are acting a version of this story on themselves, both as the child and as the ant. They are forcing themselves to stay in line, hurting and killing themselves slowly for “the greater good”.

[both vol10 ch102, easy going scans translation]

Souichi is likened to an insect as well within the story, he’s Hachina (“蜂名”, 蜂 “hachi” meaning bee), the Prince Bee, the Lost Bee, etc. From that shared bug symbolism we have to remember Souichi’s super-organism speech- a kind of organism that necessitates the loss of individuality for the well-being of the hive. Tatsuki brings this concept up to say the Private Funeral Division and the police as a whole are in such an organism, which would include Kaoru too. Even only going by the definition it’s easy to interpret him as in such a place, “just a cog in a machine”, and the same can be said of Souichi. They are both included in the ones losing their individuality to keep the system alive: “Even the Queen will draw her blood or sacrifice her life for the system.”. This self-sacrifice is something Souichi takes pride in: “[He] isn’t even worth an insect”. He rationalizes his own resolve to harm himself (“being prepared to bleed”) as something he is doing right.

[both Vol 24 ch 257 Duwang translation]

This loss of individuality is seen in how Souichi’s identity has been fragmented. He is “Souichi Kiruma” when he is acting as Leader and “Naoki Hachina” for public-facing matters- disregard that the two often overlap as seen in chapter 68. He was taught not to "build too deep a relationship with anyone" (chapter 273), and his memory loss routinely erases the memory of his bonds anyway. He allows his personal history to be rewritten for the sake of Kakerou (accepting that he did not face Baku Madarame but Kaoru Yukiide on April 9th 2001) and lastly he positions himself as non-human in his introductory scene with the Alien Invasion speech. This speech will come back a 2nd time during Air Poker when he gains full control of his memory, it is iconic of Souichi’s character and it is worth looking more deeply into.

[Vol6 Ch55 Duwang translation]

The image evoked here is that of an alien leader, “we” means the alien society as a whole- in this case it’d be Kakerou. Just like in the super-organism speech, he views himself as only one element in something much bigger than himself. This really puts the dehumanization into perspective. He’s a bee, he’s a super-organism, he’s an alien. He’s just barely a name, and not even a face. It takes the manga until the very end of chapter 68- the conclusion of the Hangman gamble- to show us Souichi’s face properly. It is completely obscured during the Alien Invasion scene and the referees do not call him by name. He’s just a faceless leader. He’s so little of a person already, and digging into the alien analogy only furthers this idea.

Alien Invasions as a trope also come with the “take me to your leader” shtick, that IS reflected in the story if we look at who Souichi has directly interacted with in the manga. He’s first introduced outside of flashbacks when he personally comes to the Hangman gamble to see Sadakuni, the leader of a terrorist organization. He gambles with Commissioner Sasaoka during the Tower of Karma arc. He invites Vincent Lalo, leader of Ideal, to meet him. He seeks out and shadows Nobuko during Protoporos, who will be crowned King and is shown as the strongest player on the island. Only then does he seek out a meeting with Baku, after he’s won the Ban and has earned that right. The point is, he only really interacts as a Leader and with other Leaders- it’s from one super-organism to another. He only deals with other people as parts of their own collective, this is the same world view as Kaoru’s with his ants that cannot exist outside of the collective. They both dehumanize others and themselves and this is something they’ve inherited from their fathers (the super-organism speech being started by Tatsuki Kiruma).

The dehumanization inherent to their places is also seen in the shadowy figures that haunt Kaoru and Souichi. Kaoru’s represents the memory of his dad, it tells him what to do and what to think, he looks to it for reassurance. Souichi’s takes the shape of a stretched version of himself that act upon him (as an alien does the human it kidnapped, and like Kaoru does to his ants.) These are two strikingly similar manifestations of the inner workings of their suffering minds. More than that, Souichi and Kaoru’s goal, here, is to fully BECOME that shadowy figure that haunts their psyche. That faceless, nameless existence is representative of what’s already succumbed to the super-organism. It’s something that takes over Kaoru when he gives in to the idea that anything can be justified for the sake of order and it’s the part of Souichi that dictates the memory resets. Their shadow is the part of them that’s “prepared to bleed”. It is the ideal ant. Let it be noted, then, that Kaoru becoming one with his is drawn in the same way as Souichi is when we first see him.

[the shadowy figures. Vol10 Ch98 Easy Going Scans Translation + Vol42 Ch454 Duwang Translation]

[Vol 10 ch98 Easy Going Scans translation + Vol 2 Ch 14 Duwang translation]

This is where the comparison takes its full meaning. It is obvious from Kaoru’s story that he is a victim of his situation; that he was manipulated into taking his father’s place by someone he trusted during his most vulnerable moment. He had just lost all that remained of his family, of course he’ll chase after the only thing he has left of it (his father’s spot in the Labyrinth game). Telling him not to is only making him believe that he had more agency in this decision than he really had. Can we say the same for Souichi?

Compared to Kaoru’s worker ant, Souichi holds much more power and freedom. This is reflected in his family situation being healthier and in him willingly stepping to the Leader role instead of being manipulated into it, as discussed previously. It then begs the question, since Souichi realizes that this is harmful to him, that his very humanity is being taken apart, why doesn’t he leave? Being Leader of Kakerou is not a lifelong duty, his dad retired and became referee almost 10 years before he died. Even without an heir to succeed him, couldn’t Souichi find a way? Is the system really worth all this harm?

III. November 23rd 1998

In 1998 Souichi has a memory loss episode and wonders around, following the instructions Eba gave him to find his way back. During this period he meets Baku Madarame and as per the Prince Bee narration they filled the hole in each others hearts.

[Vol30 Ch323 Duwang Translation]

Baku also gave him a new name- Hal- and generally showed him another way of living. One that is much more chaotic, dangerous, but also much more free. This is his alternative to Kakerou and being assimilated into the super-organism. After some time he gets his hands on the clue that will allow him to meet up with Eba, but before that there is a gamble he decides to take. That is the Russian Roulette Poker game against Fukurou on November 23rd. Souichi- Hal- usurped Baku’s place and decided to take the gamble himself. Despite the common in-story interpretation, this was not a sacrifice he made for Baku (see chapter 455). It is something he did for himself.

The reason he takes that gamble is because he’s a man of rules. He wants to stay by Baku’s side but he can’t just abandon his duty at Kakerou like this, and most importantly, he doesn’t want to make the choice himself. To decide for himself has consequences, it’d mean he, on purpose, betrayed his bloodline. It’d mean he broke the unwritten rule that it is his duty, as a Kiruma, to lead Kakerou. So instead, he turns to leaving his fate to a gamble. If he wins, it would be his sign to forsake his Souichi Kiruma life and stay by Baku’s side, but if he loses Hal would die.

There is a suicidal drive in this. We know Souichi did survive his loss and that the gamble took place in the building owned by Eba; there were preparations in place to facilitate his survival. Despite this, it is my reading that he was truly, fully, prepared to lose his life if he couldn’t keep being Hal- if he had to go back to being Souichi. Regardless of his intent at the time (if he did bet on his survival or not) there is weight to that symbol. Hal- Souichi- put a gun to his head because he yearned for something else, and in chapter 321 as Souichi in 2001 explains that he’ll kill himself if Baku wins Surpassing the Leader, we are then shown a scene from November 23rd of a black-suited man laying on the floor, presumably dead. This was suicide, if not on a literal level, on a symbolic one. It really did “kill Hal”- the only part of him that didn’t belong to Kakerou.

[Vol 30 ch321 Duwang translation. Notice the date on the clock.]

This leaving of things to fate brings us back to the Alien Invasion speech again, but in a flipped perspective of it. Another big part of alien stories is the alien abduction. Its appeal as a trope is the fantasy of being forcefully taken away and changed forever. Now, Souichi would no longer be the alien but the human the aliens act on. It’s an inversion of our original reading of it and it does position Hal in the picture instead. In a way, he has already been “taken away and changed forever” in 1998. His thread to return home was intercepted by Baku (the Prince Bee picture book) and he had to follow him into this new lifestyle. He feels like he “will never be able to become [himself] again” (chapter 321). But the aliens always bring the person back home in the end, and they have to carry on with that memory (and alien abduction stories also come with their share of memory loss, another one of Souichi’s motifs). What I really want to get to here is this duality of the invasion speech. On one hand, Souichi is the Aliens and a part of something greater, and on the other, Hal is the individual being taken away.

[Vol30 Ch321 Duwang translation.]

Souichi will try to escape his fate of being the alien again. During the Lost Bee arc, he has another major memory loss incident and he flees so he can meet with Eba secretly (having forgotten that Eba is now dead). During that escape he meets Baku again and from there the Protoporos arc starts, an arc where Souichi willingly takes on the name of Hal again. He will cling to this identity, seeking out his missing memories (chapter 449 for one exemple), looking for that place outside of Kakerou’s reach once more. Just for a little while, he is indulging in this special permission he is given to be Hal until the Ban ends. Then, the game is over and he has to be Souichi Kiruma again. Hal goes back to the dead, reburied, it’s over, it’s gone.

[vol43 ch469 Duwang translation]

This is also relevant to the end of Air Poker. During the game, he realizes that his systemic erasure of memories under stress will make him lose, that this aim to be perfect has rotted his brain, and that it’s nothing but a pipe dream (chapter 455). He finally accepts the fact that every person is flawed- only to then turn around and decide that therefor he has to try even harder to be perfect. He views his newfound control over his memory, of what he forgets and what he keeps, as proof of his extraordinary being. He thinks that even though no human can, HE can get close to perfection. It’s Icarus building himself a 2nd pair of wax-wings and giving the sun another try. The mythological comparison applies a bit further than that too. Icarus is the son of the architect of the Labyrinth. His father warned him not to fly too low or too high, which is to say not to want too little or too much. Tatsuki taught Souichi that “to be able to enjoy a delicious meal, to feel pain when you see blood, or wanting to avoid being hurt and hurting others" that is the default state of being he should seek. Instead, Souichi embraced his hubris, as discussed this role where he is “prepared to bleed” is something he takes pride in. He is no longer flying to escape the Labyrinth he was put in but to reach the sun itself despite having already fallen into the sea once before. It’s a fool’s errand.

[1. vol42 ch455 Duwang translation and 2.vol46 ch496 Duwang translation]

This contradiction arises from the fact that he did try being human and flawed before! He is not naively refusing to change. He already tried being Hal and he died for it! He died. He has no other option: “A dead person cannot be revived." (chapter 496). There is no alternative for Souichi, yes he is the Prince Bee, yes he is the ruler of the mind-breaking machine, son of the Architect, but he cannot escape his bloodline on his own. No matter his place in the system he cannot win against it. He is powerless to change things for the better as long as he is navigating within its rules.

IV. The Place That You Belong

There is a recurring idea in Usogui (manga) of the place that people belong to. It’s presented as something everyone has, and that as long as they’re there everything will turn out right for them. It’s “the stage that you shine on” (chapter 539), etc. Souichi explains this idea himself in the epilogue. Are you where you’re meant to be? Are you betraying yourself by refusing to stand in the right place?

[vol49 ch539 Duwang translation]

This concept is relevant to every character in Usogui but it’s best illustrated by Baku and Kyara. In Kyara’s fight against Jonglyo it is his bond with Baku that makes him win, the place that he belongs is by Baku’s side (chapter 384). This is why he lost against Marco during the Hangman arc, and never lost again. Baku’s only ever lost the Flying Vehicles bet, which he lost on purpose: he is already at the place that he belongs. This why they are the two characters who “keep on winning” no matter what, because they are following their “correct path”. It is why you want to be where you belong and why you belong there in the first place, because as long as you keep to it you will keep on “winning”.

For Kaoru I think it’s obvious the Labyrinth gamble is NOT where he belongs. As mentioned, he’s gambling while not being a gambler himself and he’s completely out of his depth when things are out of his script. He’s not even fulfilling his wish to “keep order”- he’s never solved a single labyrinth, he’s never saved a single person.

After his failure against Fukurou, Souichi resigns himself to accepting Kakerou as the place he belongs. But is that really true? As discussed, you know you’re on the right path because you keep on winning. In Hangman he had this to say: "A life in which I continue to win forever... I guess that's just my destiny?" (chapter 56) but it’s demonstrably not true! Souichi does lose! He lost his bet for the book in 1998, he lost against Fukurou, he didn’t manage to take over Tipa, and he lost Drop the Handkerchief. If it was his place to be Leader of Kakerou at that time he wouldn't have lost Surpassing the Leader. He isn’t Baku or Kyara. He is not where he belongs.

So if it’s not by Baku’s side and it’s not at the head of Kakerou either, where does Souichi belong, then? There are times that Souichi miraculously “wins”. We see it in Air Poker where he overcomes his memory loss and regains ALL discarded memories, and we see it when he wakes up in the hospital during the epilogue. These miraculous recoveries, I think, are indicative that he was doing something right at those times. The common thread between the two is that Souichi (or Hal) was acting in Baku’s interest without totally disowning his ties with Kakerou. He invites Fukurou to become a referee at the end of Air Poker and he steps up to being Leader again during the epilogue, but in the 1998 flashbacks he was hiding his bloodline and denied knowing what Kakerou was. This blatant lie is the narrative reason that made him lose against Fukurou, and his rejection of ever having been changed by Baku is what made Kakerou wrong for him afterwards. He does not belong anywhere until he stops living these lies. He cannot abandon Kakerou OR Baku, he needs both.

This is the reason Souichi and Kaoru became prey to the Lie-Eater. They were living their respective lies, and so Usogui came and ate them up. “It all began with a small lie” (chapter 535).

[vol6 ch 64 Duwang translation]

Kaoru should’ve died from this defeat after he was made to shoulder Baku’s loss at Surpassing the Leader, but he was saved in extremis by his own mental illness. He fell unconscious and this was judged as “collection on his life” enough for Kadokura so he was spared. He got to wake up in a hospital post-canon, free of this place he did not belong to, and still living. This is also the pattern Souichi follows. It is his mental illness that makes him lose Drop the Handkerchief, his memory loss episode that made him forget about the leap second and that Baku exploited. This defeat at Surpassing the Leader means he is now free of his duty to be Leader, and it allows him to later wake up in the hospital like Kaoru did. He can now be his own person, without any lies, without killing his mind to stay perfect- the very thing he’d tried to do on his own and failed. In a way, wasn’t he saved by his illness, too? And isn’t it their respective flaws that let them become their own person again, that re-humanized them?

In a lesser way this is also reflected in the Referee who presides over the Labyrinth gambles, Yuudai Kadokura. He’s characterized as a man of restraint during the arc. He, too, is obsessed with carrying out his job perfectly and tries his best to contain his emotions. “Please excuse me... Momentarily, I, Kadokura Yuudai, have unintentionally made a face that was a little indiscreet." (chapter 91) and this self-restraint will be lifted after he suffers (and recovers from) brain damage. It’s their mental ill that saved Souichi and Kaoru and that lifted Kadokura’s chains.

Usogui (manga) as a whole has more to say about this idea that it is our flaws that make us human. We see it in the Hangman gamble, when Sadakuni is hanged. He first claims he’s not afraid of death but in his final moments he thrashes and struggles and admits he doesn’t want to die here. Baku comments: “I won't let you die as a monster. You should at least die as a human.” (chapter 66). This explicitly conflates someone’s humanity with this display of desperation. It asks the question, can you accept your own death gracefully and remain human? What is being human but to fight tooth and nails for more out of life? Isn’t being alive inherently grotesque? This is also reflected in the ending of Air Poker in Vincent Lalo’s final, ugly, moment, just to name one other example. We are back to Tatsuki’s definition of what being “normal” is like, and it is this human fear of death and blood that makes the gamble against Commissioner Sasaoka work. Generally, it is the thirst for things that you don’t have and the willingness to fight for them no matter how unsightly you get that makes us truly alive- like a gambler is. This is reflected in the Protoporos arc when Champ chooses to stay on the island because he feels alive for the first time after having gambled with Baku as well as in Kaji’s character arc more broadly.

[Vol7 ch66 Duwang translation + vol38 ch 412 Duwang translation]

For all that Souichi tried to erase his failures and reach perfection he was only making himself less and less human. It’s only when he let his true desires show in Drop the Handkerchief and that he truly fought to “one up” Baku that he started to approach something that rings true. To be human is to be flawed and to accept and remember this, and grow stronger from having tasted defeat. And it is this defeat, that honest and bitter defeat, of Souichi at Drop the Handkerchief that leads to the realization of the Prince Bee story’s happy ending- the Prince Bee Duo rising up.

On a surface level, if Baku had lost again there was no way for him NOT to die this time with how weak we know his body to be (see, the Labyrinth Minotaur game and the Dotty game). But more than that, Souichi had to lose and stop being Leader so he could be himself, so he could stop lying about who he is. He cannot change his bloodline, he cannot stop being a Kiruma, but he cannot stop yearning for something more either. He’s a flawed, weird little guy and he will always be changed from Baku’s presence in his life. This defeat returns his humanity to him and it allows him to reconcile the contradictory positions he was in. He can then embrace that he IS Baku’s ally, and he IS Kakerou, too, and come back as his full self and no longer forced to keep people at arm’s length. That is the true place he belongs, both Leader of Kakerou and Baku’s friend.

[all three are vol49 ch 539, Duwang translation]

Both Souichi and Kaoru had to bear the weight of their fathers’ inheritance so much so that they hurt themselves and lost their very humanity, all to stay somewhere they shouldn’t be. It is their flaws that free them, but it is also the people around them who saved them. It’s Baku speaking up that Kaoru is “pretty much already dead”, it is the summon for Hal to wake up because “if it’s you, it will be alright.”. They woke up knowing people cared for them and sincerely wished for their recoveries. They were accepted fully for who they are, sinful bloodline and flaws and all, and with their curse lifted they can now return that care, too.

→ You are never truly alone, things can always get better, you CAN break free from your family’s Labyrinth. If it is forcing you to harm yourself and is keeping you isolated, then it is not the place that you belong.

[vol 14 ch147 Duwang translation + vol49 ch538 Duwang translation]

V. Conclusion

We see this loose pattern ripple in other characters. Kaji and Marco are grappling with what they’ve inherited from their parents too (namely, abuse) and it is through Baku’s support and help that they could set their minds free from this influence. As symbolic of the turning point where they can truly start to heal is their stay in a hospital (Marco post-Labyrinth gamble, Kaji on bed rest during Protoporos). To truly break free comes with being hurt deeply before becoming anew. It will be different but it will be okay.

The motif of dysfunctional or fragmented families generally runs rampant, most characters with known backstories have some sort of family troubles from our main characters to one-off antagonists (Marco and Kaji as mentioned but also Kyara, Satoru Suteguma, the Yakou twins, Voja, Jonglyo, Mitaka, and so on). Usogui (manga) features a lot of parents who suck absolute ass, yes, but it also more generally touches on the way parents shape their children even in healthier families- think Ranko taking over her dad’s mafia, the sons who’ve never faced consequences because their fathers are powerful, etc.

In light of this, the fact that our protagonist is someone who is seemingly completely devoid of family starts to stand out. We do not get to know anything about Baku’s parents, his childhood, how he was raised, etc, anything from before he was already a well-established gambler within Kakerou. This is very significant in a main protagonist, who we’d usually know a lot more about. It separates him from the weight of inheritance, only he is free of those bonds that tie someone to their family (or lack of it)- for better or for worse.

This feeds into the repeated use in the story of Surpassing the Leader as a way to lose your “bonds”. It’s stated Baku lost that 1st STL bet to get rid of this past that tied him to Hal, when Souichi loses Drop the Handkerchief he escapes his bloodline, and it’s the thing that’s pinned on Yukkii and frees him of his Labyrinth. This is the big “reset” button featured in the story but its point is not to go on with life devoid of relationships and ties to other people. No, Baku does rebuild his bond with Hal, Souichi comes back to Kakerou a healthier man, and the last scene Kaoru sees before falling unconscious is himself as a child holding both his parents’ hands. Loss is always painful but it often cannot be avoided (may it be to break free of an abusive family or a toxic job, or because a loved one dies, etc) and bonds are what shape us. The two ideas coexist. You cannot go on without any attachment to anyone. This is seen in the “planting seeds” imagery of chapter 320, all lives are interwoven and ripple against each other to grow and become something else.

Bonds are also the strength and support you gain from other people, it is how Kyara wins against Jonglyo, and it is Souichi’s parting words in Handkerchief: “It is you who made us stronger.” (chapter 530). Who can ever hope to leave the Labyrinth without Ariadne’s gift of yarn to guide them out? It is the two Bees’ friendship that’s at the core of the picture book, and it is also those relationships between people (good or bad), and love, that’s at the core of Usogui, too. To be loved and to love someone is to be changed.

[Vol 35, ch384, Duwang translation]

#usogui meta #souichi kiruma #yukiide kaoru #usogui #original title was cogs in a machine but the labyrinth symbolism kind of took over which was for the best

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ganonfan1995 · 11 months

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totk slab quest/general spoilers:

The slabs seemed to address my main question: Why did Rauru want to establish a kingdom in the first place?

I've come to believe "guilt" was the driving force behind his actions, especially considering that the Zonai's primary motive for staying and playing god in Hyrule for so long, was so they could mine zonaite from the depths. Since we know that monsters originate from the depths, I think it can be inferred that the opening of the chasms brought the first wave of monsters to the surface.

The slabs also mention how the monsters had been tormenting the surface dwellers long before Ganon/The Demon King, appeared. This is why Rauru and Sonia placed the light shrines on the surface. It is likely that Sonia was advising Rauru on this matter specifically, before their union.

The other Zonai seemed to have left by choice, probably when the zonaite deposits started drying up, leaving Rauru and Mineru behind. Rauru already had a keen interest in learning about and interacting with the surface dwellers, so that may have played a part in their reasoning for staying as well.

From my observations, it is apparent that Rauru believes he possesses innate wisdom beyond his own capabilities. He perceives surface folk to be less sophisticated than himself, and critically, less capable of becoming a danger or threat. Even when warned by Zelda, a girl from the literal fucking future with knowledge about the dangers of getting close to Ganondorf or allowing him access to the magical stones, Rauru still believes he is one step ahead and tells her to chill the fuck out...Like okay dumb ass.

While Rauru's intentions are good, he lacks perspective and critical thinking skills because he considers himself marginally wiser than anyone other than Sonia, who seems to keep him in check most of the time. (thinking abt the cutscene where they first meet Zelda, a lost and terrified youth, and he literally cannot find it in himself to be empathetic for 5 seconds. 0/10 dad energy)

I find Rauru fascinating because he is driven entirely by his emotions. He is so determined to do what is right that he is consistently caught off guard by his own mistakes. He's such a house cat of a king, someone grab a spray bottle.

tl;dr I think Rauru felt bad for the actions of his ancestors and was like "I alone, could fix this" while making shit much worse b/c he's an emotionally driven idiot, who cannot remove himself from his own station of being, slightly better than the average surface dweller.

Anyways, no good kings in Hyrule, glad this theme is still consistent.

(I still haven't beaten the last boss so no end game spoilers if I'm entirely off base)

[EDIT] - I use the word "slabs" when I mean "stone tablet" from the "messages from an ancient era" quest. My short term memory is so very special and unique.

#talking abt rauru

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lookitsaworm · 7 months

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I have a theory:

A newborn's control in Twilight is based on their exposure to vampires as a human.

0 kills due to bloodlust and therefore highest control:

Bella has a high level (tied with Carlisle) of control because she was integrated into the Cullen family for a year and a half before being turned and therefore high exposure to vampires

Carlisle dedicated most of his adult life (which, considering the time of his youth, would have started earlier than it would now) to tracking vampires and likely had exposure to vampires because of this.

Rosalie lived in the same area as Carlisle, Edward and Esme in her human life for (estimating) a couple of years and had enough contact with them that they recognise her on sight but not know each other well. When killing her attackers (likely a couple months after her 'death') she had to make an effort not to let blood spill so as not to let the bloodlust take over, suggesting that her control isn't as good as Bella's, who was able to stop herself from killing a human at mere hours long, or Carlisle, who managed to leave a, at the time, highly populated area, London, and starve himself. This would make sense as she didn't have as much contact with vampires in her human life as Bella or Carlisle did.

2≤ kills due to bloodlust:

Esme met Carlisle as a teenager when he was her doctor when she broke her leg but after that encounter had no confirmed contact after that, suggesting she likely had none. It is briefly stated in the illustrated guide that 'there were times when the call of human blood was too strong to resist', meaning she slipped up at least twice. However, we can infer that she likely killed less than Emmett who Edward, in Midnight Sun mentions slipping up (he mentions this on multiple occasions unlike Esme who, to my memory, he doesn't) and it is said that Emmett had 'trouble with the rules'.

Emmett, as previously stated, had 'trouble with the rules' (source: Midnight Sun) and, as said in Midnight Sun, killed two singers. Due to the amount of times his bad control in newborn years is mentioned compared to Esme's, it's highly probable that he had weaker control than Esme. This makes sense considering Esme had a brief encounter with a vampire (Carlisle) as a human, whereas when Rosalie found him she was hunting and, as seen in Midnight Sun, vampires, due to their speed, have different perceptions of speed and would consider a few hundred miles away a short distance for a hunt so Emmett likely didn't have any exposure to vampires as a human whatsoever.

Edward, Alice and Jasper have all engaged in the 'traditional vampiric lifestyle' for at least a short while each, rendering their experiences with control null as, in the case of most addictions, long term or high usage of the product (in this case, blood) makes it considerably harder to quit.

#twilight saga #twilight #twilight renaissance #bella swan #edward cullen #alice cullen #carlisle cullen #esme cullen #emmett cullen #jasper whitlock #jasper cullen #jasper hale #jesus christ jasper has a lot of names #rosalie hale

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scarletmilkfrancis · 23 days

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So how many kisses do you get daily by random people? If 0 then I can make that 1 :D

i have about 1 today

edit : i actually have 2 arggagrgsgr i have short term memory loss istg

#francis mosses #thats not my neighbor #scarlet milk

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techav · 11 months

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Wrap030-ATX Remembers

No general-purpose computer will do much without a good amount of Random Access Memory for transient storage of code and data. Now that I have confirmed basic operation of CPU, bus controller, ROM, and serial, it's time to turn my attention to main system memory.

Every homebrew computer I've built to date, including previous iterations of the Wrap030 project, has used Static RAM. Static RAM is nearly as simple as peripherals can be — give it an address, assert a Chip Enable and a Read or Write strobe signal, wait a bit, and release. Done, cycle complete. If you don't need to retrieve some data for a good long while, it's no matter so long as the chip still has power. For a small system, SRAM is reliable and dead simple to use.

The problem with SRAM is it is also very expensive. The 2MB of SRAM I had on the previous iteration of Wrap030 cost over $20 — and it's still far from enough to run an operating system like Unix System V, NetBSD, Linux, etc. This is the reason computers generally use Dynamic RAM for primary system memory.

The difference is SRAM uses several transistors to create a flip-flop for storing each and every bit of memory, whereas DRAM uses a capacitor to store each bit of memory. This reduces manufacturing costs and increases storage density, but does come with some trade-offs. Most notably, the capacitors that store bits in DRAM will lose their charge — and the stored data with it — after a rather brief period of time. This means the DRAM capacitors need to be topped off regularly in a process known as a refresh cycle.

Another complication of using DRAM is the bus interface has been changed to allow much larger storage capacities without the physical chip package growing to absurd sizes. Instead of the chip accepting the entire address at once, it expects to be given a Row address (along with a Row Address Strobe [RAS#]) then a Column address (along with a Column Address Strobe [CAS#]), with myriad specific timing requirements for when each signal should be asserted and deasserted.

In short, DRAM is much more difficult to interface with compared to SRAM, so I've never really gotten around to it.

With one of the long term goals of this project being running a *nix operating system though, I'm going to need the larger memory that DRAM affords. So i made provision for a CPLD to serve as a dedicated DRAM controller on the Wrap030-ATX motherboard and added a couple 72-pin SIMM slots. In theory this setup should be able to support up to 256MB of RAM (if rare 128MB SIMMs should fall into my hands...).

So where do we turn when dealing with complicated timing with multiple modes and a bunch of I/O? Why, Finite State Machines, of course! That bit where the DRAM expects a row address for a little while, that's a state. And the following bit where the DRAM expects a column address is another state. And then another state to make sure the DRAM has enough time to write or fetch the data. The round it out with one last state to tell the CPU data is ready.

What about that weird refresh timing? Well, that's just few more states for the state machine. And then one last "idle" state that waits for a refresh timing counter to hit 0 or for the CPU to start a bus cycle. Laid out like that, the DRAM controller became a state machine with 7 or 8 states, a counter, and an address multiplexer.

The logic actually came together easier than expected. Not completely without bugs of course.

There's this note in the datasheets about startup initialization where the DRAM should not be accessed 200μs after power on, and there should be 8 refresh cycles before the first access. Initially I had built this entire sequence into my logic. It consumed a ton of resources and didn't really work right.

I realized that my reset circuit held the CPU in reset for longer than 200μs on power on, so I was guaranteed that first initialization time. So I removed that startup delay from my DRAM controller logic, and made a few tweaks to the state machine so it could do 8 back-to-back refresh cycles after reset.

I was able to successfully write to DRAM and read that data back!

That much proved to be the easy part. The next steps were confirming DRAM accesses worked reliably, that I had the order of my byte select signals correct, that I could identify the amount of installed memory, and that all of the installed memory was working. These are programming problems, not logic problems, and I am not a strong programmer. On top of that, not only am I working with unproven DRAM logic, but I'm also using untested SIMMs that I had picked up from Computer Reset.

I quickly ran into errors, but was it a problem with my logic? A problem with my timing? A problem with the SIMMs?

I had a large back of 72-pin SIMMs, split fairly evenly between Fast Page Mode (FPM) and Extended Data Output (EDO) types. I tried them all. Some would pass the tests for nearly all addresses but fail at the end. Some seemed to have a stuck bit. Some were just plain bad and gave errors everywhere. It didn't really answer the question about whether my logic was bad, but results were consistent enough for me to think that maybe the logic might be ok.

And then finally I came across a pair of HP-branded 8MB EDO SIMMs that passed a simple write-read test without error ...

... right around the time my serial port stopped working. But the memory test was passing, and I could at least see the serial output on the logic analyzer.

The serial port problem was a bit setback. It had been working but suddenly wasn't. Clearly the UART itself was working, I just wasn't getting anything past the level shifter. Well that at least gave me a starting point of where to look. Sure enough, one of the 12V supply pins was not well soldered. Thankfully a quick fix.

Back to testing memory, I started writing a program to identify the size of the installed SIMM and write a register I added to the DRAM controller to configure the specific geometry of the installed memory. See, DRAM has another lovely quirk — chips of the same size may have a different configuration of Row and Column sizes. For instance one chip may have a 9-bit Column and a 10-bit Row, but the next may have a 10-bit Column and a 9-bit Row, and both are the same size. If the DRAM controller just assumes 12-bit Row and Column (the largest supported by 72-pin SIMMs), then there will be gaps in the memory map that will need to be accounted for in software (using MMU, for example). If the DRAM controller knows the geometry of the installed memory, then it can present the memory to the CPU as one contiguous block of memory.

And that's where I found my next bug. The system would just hang when trying to write to that DRAM controller configuration register.

... because I had forgotten to complete that part of the state machine. The result was the state machine would end up in a state for writing to the configuration register, but then it couldn't get out of it. Once I added the missing condition to the state machine logic I was able to correctly identify the geometry and size for my installed memory!

Wow that was long. This has been the biggest, most involved step in the process of bringing up this computer yet. It turns out there are a lot of moving pieces that have to all work together to get the computer running code from ROM and reading/writing DRAM.

Now that I have my main memory working, I should be able to get some software running. I'm hoping to at least have BASIC running in time for VCFSW at the end of June.

#homebrew computing #vintage computing #motorola #mc68030 #motorola 68k #assembly programming #motorola 68030 #vcf #VCFSW #vcf southwest #verilog #Dynamic RAM #CPLD #troubleshooting #wrap030 atx

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abwatt · 5 months

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Elemental Forces & an Astrological Year

I haven't been very explicit about this, but it's time.

There's a standard list from a Christian dude named Cosmas of Jerusalem, where he takes "the pagans' to task for the worship of the 12 Olympians and also a collection of 36 other deities in Alexandria, and he mentions that they're assigned to "the airs". And that's a reference to the 10° segments of the Zodiac called Decans or Faces. So Cosmas is critiquing the use of an Egyptian/Hellenic calendar and time-keeping system, probably in use in Alexandria around the 2nd century AD that divides the Zodiac by decan, into 36 slices. And Cosmas goes on to list which deities go with which air/decan/face.

Why is that important? Well, every one of the thirty-six airs comes up over the eastern horizon, every day. Some of them happen fast and are called the signs of Short Ascension (Capricorn to Cancer) some of them take a long time and are called the Signs of Long Ascension (Leo through Sagittarius). The Moon passes through every decan, every month, spending less than a day in each decan. The Sun passes through every decan, spending about ten days in every decan every year.

Which means that Cosmas has given us today the necessary tools to construct a calendar of sacred hours, sacred days, and sacred 'long weeks' for a broad range of Greco-Egyptian deities in the Hellenistic era.

If we order Orphic Hymns by which deity rules which air/decan/face,, that looks something like this. The first ten degrees of each sign are shown first (0°-9° including up to 9°59'), then the second deity (10°-19°) then the third (20°-29°) We get 29 gods who have Orphic hymns. and seven that don't have Orphic Hymns assigned to them — the Litai (or prayers), Serapis, the Loimos (or spirits of sicknesses), Tolma (or daring), Phobos (or Fear), Osiris (maybe substitute an Egyptian hymn?), and Dolos (trickery).

Aries: Aidoneus/Pluto 17 - Persephone 28 - Eros 57

Taurus: Charis/the Graces 59 - The horae/Seasons 42 - The Litai (none)

Gemini: Tethys 21 - Cybele 25 - Praxidike 62

Cancer: Nike 32 - Hercules 11 - Hecate 1

Leo: Hephaestus 63 - Isis 13 - Serapis (none)

Virgo: Themis 78 - the Moirai 58 - Hestia 83

Libra: The Erinyes 68 - Kairos 12 - Nemesis 60

Scorpio: The Nymphs 50 - Leto 34 - Curetes/Korybas 37 & 38

Sagittarius: Loimos (none) - Kore 40 - Anangke 9

Capricorn: Asklepios 66 - Hygeia 67 - Tolma (none)

Aquarius: Dike 61 - Phobos (none) - Osiris (none)

Pisces: Okeanos 82 - Dolos (none) - Memnosyne 76

That's.... that's a yearly and weekly calendar, a clock, and a pagan cosmology, all rolled into one. Oh, and also an education program for training the memory, which is a cornerstone skill of magic. Additionally, I use these for the four elements: 20 (air), 21 (water), 4 (fire), 25 (earth) instead of pentagram invocations of the directions.

Oh, and as an extra little amuse-bouche, Cosmas mentions that there's another list of 60 gods, which he does not include. But! There's sixty-subdivisions of the Zodiac signs called Terms or Bounds, and there's a Chaldean version of them and an Egyptian version of them. So you can also assign any additional gods you attend to, to the terms... and build them right into the timekeeping system.

Ta-daa!

#paganism #pagan #Greek mythology #Decans #Astrology #magic

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divinesouldariax · 1 year

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In reference to my previous post (decided to make this a separate post instead of reblogging with the addition), here are some mechanical ways they could have possibly addressed a physical disability like Ashton's, as well as mechanics for their memory issues:

Memory

Disadvantage on intelligence checks involving recalling information

After being at 0 HP/unconscious, rolling a wisdom saving throw to determine some level of short-term memory loss upon awakening

Not necessarily mechanical, but just more explicit acknowledgement within the story of Ashton's TBI and the memory issues that were present but often laughed off near the beginning of the campaign

Chronic Pain/Physical Disability

This one is one I've been thinking about and also was suggested in the tags by @sentimentalginger, something as simple as using the exhaustion mechanics could work. Having Ashton roll a d20 during each long rest to determine if he could sleep or if their pain kept them awake

For a more complicated version, the number to hit on the dice could be modified depending on what had happened that day. Injuries and strenuous travel might set the DC at a 4, while on a day of light activity it could be only on a natural 1

Instead of a long rest itself, it could be a flare-up trigger mechanic. Some specific events (getting knocked out, carrying too much, taking fall damage, extreme temperatures, sleeping on the ground, etc) could either automatically cause a flare-up or require a constitution saving throw to avoid a flare-up.

The flare-up itself could use the exhaustion mechanic, or some debuffs more specific to Ashton

For example, disadvantage on strength and dexterity saving throws when not raging, reducing the amount of attacks he can do per turn, reducing their speed, prompting rolling saves for exhaustion during travel, prompting concentration checks if they use his Pass Without Trace racial feature (or any spells from items he might have)

There are plenty of other specific ways to do this, as long as there is some acknowledgement of the disability in the mechanics.

In general, just...let the disabled character be disabled. Let it mean something. Let it be acknowledged, let it limit them, let it inconvenience the other characters sometimes. That's how chronic pain and other disabilities work. They're not just an interesting story beat, they're not just backstory. They are definitionally disabling, don't pretend otherwise.

#ashton greymoore #cr critical #just in case #in general i think CR does a really really good job with mental illness #and just HAVING ashton exist as a character with canonical chronic pain #is pretty fuckin impressive #but i think they could do a little better #and i just got hit with an unprompted flare-up #that is pissing me off #so i'm a little irritable #and in a lot of pain #and i couldn't get to classes today bc i can't WALK #so like. aaaghgghhh #okay to reblog!#please have this conversation with me lol i dont want to be the only person talking about it

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unpopularshipbracket · 11 months

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Round 1a Match 1

Rashmi Jamil/Amelie Macon (Entropic Float)

Fic count: 0

Liam Dunbar/Hayden Romero (Teen Wolf)

Fic count: 336

Propaganda under the cut

Rashmelie:

my god. where the fuck do i start with them for real.

until it wasnt.

all of that culminates as they return from a short visit to their parents, and he in a fit pushes them down a long flight of stairs.

simultaneously with Rashmi as they are falling down the stairs, they make Wishes.

Layden:

"THEYRE SO FUN !! liam and hayden went to the same middle school and absolutely hated each other because they got into a fight right before picture day in 6th grade and they had black eyes and bruises and shit in their yearbook photos. they meet again in their sophomore year of high school and both of them are still holding that grudge a little bit, before liam tries to make amends. plot stuff happens and liam ends up saving haydens life, and their romance kinda begins. teen wolf has this lore where werewolves can take pain from people (it’s a weird show with weird lore) and they both take each others pain by kissing. hayden (temporarily) dies in liams arms and when she comes back she says nothing feels right anymore, except for him. during their first season they also have this fun romeo and juliet/opposite sides dynamic. and in their second season hayden puts her literal existence at stake because she trusts liam enough to save her. theyre so good."

#poll #entropic float #rashmi jamil #amelie macon #teen wolf #rashmelie #layden #liam dunbar #hayden romero

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cacaitos · 4 months

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2023 manga list:

most of the manga i read this year. more or less around 90, but that's also counting short stories, and things i omitted.

bottom text.

beastars/beast complex [3/5] beastars as an action shonen (or a story anyway) is all over the place so don't get your hopes up to much on that front. beastars' main consistent strong point is being Horny and Weird. i've said that sometimes it doesnt compromise with the logical terms of its premise but exploring a variety of odd relationships is imo the most interesting and engaging element of it anyway.

chainsaw man [4/5] overall is a mostly normal shonen if you were expecting for something more alternative. to be honest a lot how you would feel about Pt 1 will be told by how you feel about having very consecutive character deaths, it can feel a bit rushed. but it is indeed a bit distinctive abt how it tackles the topic of intimacy/relationships esp predatory ones in jump-type shonen. can't complain too much on that front. fire punch [3/5] once the berserk-type edgyness aside on the story is aptly entertaining, tho by some stretches it can be disorienting plotwise, in a negative way. it drops Lots of plot points or rushes them... you can really grow to like some characters but there will be a point -you will know- that it just kinda disengages w you. Curious existential ending. good if you're bored.

golden kamuy [3.5/5] also more typical shonen-esque than i expected. it never gets That Much Dark imo, as in total slow downers i mean. although obviously it is 'dark' more on the bizzare part. fun characters.

kaze to ki no uta [4/5] to be honest it does live up to the reputation of making you generally emotionally Unwell. but on my experience the development of gilbert and serge grew more engaging than I expected. tragic banger. terra e... [3/5] also was more than i expected since the one time i tried with the anime i got bored 1 ep in. but the story and tomy as the mc also gave me more heartfelt emotions than I expected. the pacing and amount info conveyed can get exhausting tho. didn't care much abt the ending. natsu e no tobira [2/5] the ova is gorgeous so it has those points on its favour. otherwise the ova and the manga are almost identical. youth and death themes and all i did Nawt care abt that pedo woman. weird story to develop that shoujo theme abt allowing ppl to see your vulnerability but eh i'll take it.

YAMAMOTO: ichi the killer [3.5/5] frenetic and entertaining enough if you're willing to go through knowing the tw's. suprisingly fast to read. if you're looking for the yamamoto Experience, it's a must after hommunculus. voyeur/voyeurs inc [2/5] got awfully disappointed w voyeurs-inc; i got hooked on voyeur (ie the prototype) but the change of cast on inc was a total letdown. don't think it's worth reading of you're a ymmt casual. maybe just the prototype. okama report [0/5] don't even fucking bother. barely passable even for anybody that's very into ymmt. adam & eve [2/5] shit story, curious fights/interactions.

KATSUHIRO OTOMO akira [3/5] a lot of the military and persecution sequences get so annoying and boring sometimes but if you forget abt the adaptations it's a decent enough scifi-action thing. the movie is better at that. the relationship between kaneda and tetsuo- dont like rn to pit which of the two did it better, but from the movie to the manga it's deff not a letdown, especially for tetsuo that has a lot more time. he's interesting. domu [2.5/5] interesting action wise, but as for story I wouldn't bother. kanojo no omoide (memories of her) [3/5] ootomo himself said some of the stories are quite meaningless and nonsensical lol but if you've seen the Magnetic Rose ova you will like some of them. world apartment horror [3/5] 1st didn't care about. liked 2nd. 3rd i didn't get shit. 4th it was cute. visitors [3/5] liked it. short piece/short peace [3/5] i liked it. highway star [3/5] feels like that suicide episode of paranoia agent, that kind of humor lol. boogie wogie waltz [1/5] uncomprehensible. good weather [1/5] eh.

houseki no kuni [4/5] it isn't getting better, the tragedy doesn't stop it's not an understatement. whoa.

dorohedoro [3/5] entertaining seinen, tho sometimes it gets kinda confusing and convoluted. love the characters theyre fun :)

ajin [4/5]

i was surprised that it was a closed off story from what i expected coming from the anime haha. neat action panelling and art. I get the feel that some characters had more to give and develop, but not disappointing.

OSHIMI SHUZO flowers of evil [3/5] the romantic triangle didnt bother me as much as i expected. it is a weird manga know that up front. i'm inside mari [4/5] i quite liked it and was quite surprised abt that fact lol. blood on the tracks [4/5] good family drama at leaston my year'sranking; shuzo's art style does wonders and is v immersive. some said that it felt repetitive and while i can say at some point the went a bit ehhhh, but reading it all back to back instead of weekly i don't feel it's that draggy. backwards i think it could've used more chapters, or content rather. happiness [2.5/5] tbh got disappointed, kinda disperse. like half 1 and 2 don't have much to do... okaeri alice [2.5/5] some individual characters really do make the manga endurable but some bits from the main characters are so...? unnecessary, or unnecessarily long at least. not really shuzo's best work. avant-garde yumeko [-/5] odd.

NAGABE totsukuni no shoujo [4.5/5] i mean, for most of it that i can describe it well with heartwarming but bittersweet, about parent-child relationships, love, loneliness, sacrifice, it's pretty good at that. then It Gets You. monotone blue [4/5] refreshing bl, sweet, the art delivers and the sensitivity. and i say refreshing bl bc it's not weird abt sa or adjacent harrassment.

i read most of his shoujo works, but they're too many to mention if you liked totsukuni you will like them, nothing to lose. some uh moral objections on some..EAT [-/5] it's okay. if you don't mind horny furries. SMELL [-/5] errr..... ok.

RYO SUMIYOSHI/SUZURI MADK [2.5/5] good art as always. more fucked up background things as it goes on but the mako-J thing is kinda crayzay. it has some hasty character developments at important times... torso no bokura [2/5] also good art, nothing too upsetting if at least relative to MADK. kinda enjoyable and entertaining anthology.

NEMUI ASADA sleeping dead [3/5] imo asada's overall best work, or at least to beginners or if you plan to read just one of hers. since the translation of the work is not finished i don't wanna assume the ending, but the starting premise is interesting enough, although we're currently on a less eventful note plotwise which can feel a bit disappointing for the moment. my little inferno [1.5/5] not particularly interesting conceptually, or writing. madara moyou no yoi [1.5/5] noticeable premise for an asada work, it being more action oriented i mean, but it's still to early to say in execution. SKIN [1/5] what the hell. that's asada for everybody/ dear, my god [1/5] odd ending. didn't coincide with how the story was handling at least the preist, imo. i literally don't care about the cactus story. CALL [2/5] surprisingly not so harsh of an asada story. more of a normal kind of depressing bl. ai, sei [1/5] don't mind in any particular direction. loved circle [1/5] did not care for the setting. not as dark as you would expect but not particularly interesting either. whatever ending. to the sea [1/5] ...? that happened i guess.

hikaru ga shinda natsu [3.5/5] it's a manga that has earned a reputation and a set of expectations that (i haven't caught up w latest ch) that delivers on the visual and effective ambientation, but we're to see on the story but good so far.

double (noda ayako) [4/5] veeery expressive art from noda. if you let it be as a normal acting manga it can get you by surprise on some emotional beats. better go in with low expectations, different tastes and all.

my broken mariko [3.5/5] it's a short story, solid. gorg art that adds to the sorrow and bittersweetness.

gunjou [3.5/5] hmmm it can feel a bit repetitive the back and forth at several points of the story, depends of how you read that related to unstable relationships. i don't necessarily want to brand it mainly as a GL but all in all its still one of the most interesting entries on it, with a toxic relationship that commits to the complexity of the situation.

gunjou gakusho [2.5/5] a melancholic anthology with beautiful art. i got to like a pair of the stories.

omoide emanon/sasurai emanon [3/5] personally i preferred omoide emanon (the one the mangaka said was Twitter for people unfamiliar w emanon) and i prefer the lineal story tbh. sasurai ones can be hit or miss, some feel incomplete? or unconcluded. i mean sasurai was cancelled midway so.

bibliomania [2/5] cool art, intriguing initial premise and execution, but i didn't find it particularly interesting by the end part, like thematically.

banana bread no pudding [2/5] didn't care for the main relationship itself, but the protagonist ended up being more engaging than i expected. a mostly soft and bittersweet read, but i would wait ot read more of the author's works to say how recommendable i would rank it as.

petshop of horrors [2.5/5] the individual stories can be hit ot miss from one person to another but imo D is very consistently entertaining and likeable lol.

higashi nishida [2.5/5] not much consistency but they have a nice undertsated feeling personally :). some of its introspection catches you off guard. no high expectations though.

kodomo wa wakette agenai [3/5] it's a nice short story, it's funny if you don't come in expecting loud knee-slappers types of jokes. it's good if you're looking for something light to read.

she loves to cook, she loves to eat [3/5] also good if you're looking for something light to read.

tamen de gushi [3/5] wholesome as you would expect. nice art on later years. depends on your taste.

my solo exchange diary [4/5] actually liked and grew to appreciate the author's organized narration style. it avoids a lot of confusion and she verbalizes her feelings in a relatable way for somethings sometimes so awkward to say out loud.

seibetsu x [2.5/5] this one is much less organized temporally and thematically so it can get a bit confusing, but it's funny on it's own, since the author is very blunt on their feelings lol.

killing stalking [3/5] less Evil than i remembered, just as disturbing, just as mid ending as i remembered. maybe it's bc of being a reread -that helps pick some things better- but reading it out of the heat of the moment in its era it's not as ill intended or deliberately romanticizing as one might have led to believe; it understands that much at least. visually however, still often leans into more eroticism i call inappropiate and unncessary.

boy's abyss [2.5/5] it's a manga that drags and wanders aimlessly too much, it gets repetitive. there are some plots and elements i consider more consistent and interesting, like the family, predatory relationships and the town's seeming unescapability themes, but the suicidal thing gets a bit exasperating when it just goes nowhere. dont expect tooo much. kinda good to binge tho.

himegoto, juukyuusai no seifuku [2.5/5] if you see the premise i know it sounds kinda weird but as i said when i read it my only comment abt is that it's suprisingly more compelling than one would expect, if you dont question much the individual prompts. gets kinda heavy by the end w on character tho.

yuureitou [2.5/5] sometimes entertaining on an adventure mystery type thing. theme and writing quality varying for the first 2/3s, off it's shits by the third that's kinda ehh conceptually. read it for some crazy shit ending. trans-wise, on the mc side, well they're some consistently annoying things all throughout but technically good intentioned but the ending 1/3 is v transmisogynistic, heads up.

uzumaki [2/5] ito's art is good. didnt really get me going much but not hated reading it. didnt get the ending, or didnt like it a lot at least.

fetish, kaoru fujiwara [2.5/5] takes a turn in seriousness by the 2nd story. 3rd story is so 😖 err, and then the rest go down in tone again.

the view beyond, kaoru fujiwara [2.5/5] one of those wouldn't that be fucked up stories. like that sure happened. not precisecly im even a fan of the message of the premise, even if it's technically showing it's horrible results.

raise wa tanin ga ii [3.5/5] t'was funny. all in all, esp towards the last chapters their interactions turn more earnest, personally, than i expected.

crying freeman [2/5] major saving grace is the art, it's pretty good. dunno, it feels however you feel about edgy 007-type 80s stories. personally didnt care abt mafia-clan thing substainance plots.

devilman lady [2/3] lot's of SA till it gets a bit unbearable and boring, heads up. did not care about most of the plot itself but if you liked the og devilman characters, the mains of Lady have the same likeability. save from The Horrors of the end. -shin devilman [1/5] boring. don't lose nothing over not reading it. uh. that first chaper uh.... -amon - devilman mokushiroku [1.5/5] edgy in the usual way dvm is edgy in that usual measure,s o the story is nothing to die for lol. good art (save for Things) and cool visuals, body horror, etc more than anything. the silene storyline is the more interesting part, the other idgaf about. -neo devilman [2/5] it's an anthology. seeing different artist's takes is entertaining enough. usual dvm edgyness. -devilman saga [0/5] boring dear god. not one saving grace of entertainment even for a nagai dvm work.

tetsuo the bullet man [1.5/5] shot for shot as the third tetsuo movie. i liked the manga and its ending more than the movie's tho. not like the movie is good anyway.

dog ningen [1/5] don't let the premise scare you, it's pretty mild. and amateur. and boring.

#txt #fave #<- to find later #first organized by author batch and then vaguely by genre/vibes

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