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#hateful thoughts
bigassmoonchild · 7 months
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All Ears
Pairing: König x Reader
Word Count: 1.1k
Summary: You are one of the best soldiers around, but it seems you aren't seen even off the battlefield. König makes sure you know that you're seen.
Content Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Being Left Out, Hateful Thoughts, Self Hate (it's okay, könig comforts you)
A/N: My 'd' button isn't working that well. Have had to go back and make sure it was pressed. Little drabble for y'all, just to give you something to eat up. I will continue Maple Syrup on Friday/Saturday, and the taglist is always being updated! I should really just make a masterlist atp, I’ve got enough posts. As always, content under the cut and my asks are open <3 I PASTED THE ENTIRE FIC INTO THE TAGS GOD HELP ME
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"It's really funny, though," you started and listened to everyone talk over you. Gaz making little quips as Soap gave a story, Price and Ghost having listened intently. Even König and Horangi weren't listening to you, from what you could tell.
You glanced down briefly, waiting for a pause before you tried to jump in again. And again, you were interrupted, though by Price this time. Taking a little sip of the drink you had in front of you, which was extremely watered down by now, you glanced at the people around you.
It was odd. You worked your ass off to get to this point, working with some of the best of the best but still seeming to be too small to really exist with them. When everyone paused, taking drinks, you opened your mouth to speak when Soap tugged Gaz off to play darts, calling for you all to watch him.
A little, almost grimace of a smile came on your face as you played with the coaster intended for your drink. You could feel you heart sinking, swallowing thickly around the tears beginning to form.
You were one of the best soldiers in the world, and yet you had never felt so small. Whether it was intentional or not, you had no idea. You watched everyone talk and exist with one another while you sat on the side, like a bystander. Someone who wasn't supposed to be there, but you found yourself stuck.
"I am all ears, Maus," König spoke to you, leaning in close and looking at you through the mask. You gave him a grim smile, shaking your head and shrugging slightly.
"'s nothing, don't even remember what I was going to say," you told him. He blinked slowly at you, glancing own at your drink that your hands were connected to. He looked at the others, breathing deeply from the deep rise and fall of his shoulders.
Glancing back at you, he held his arm out. "I can buy you a better drink," he said, gesturing further towards you with the arm. "Come," he said.
You grabbed the arm he offered and let him help you from the chair, watching as he cut through the crowd with his height and mass. König's bicep flexed around your arm, seemingly holding you tighter as the crowd flexed and pulsed around your hold.
As you came upon the bar, König leaned against it, calling over the bartender. You stood beside him, waiting until the man could come and take your order. Until them, he had his eyes set on you, not allowing his focus to waver.
"Tell me," he started. "What was it you were going to say before you were interrupted?" You looked away, swallowing thickly. In your mind, it had completely fallen to the side. Becoming nothing, almost as you did when everyone was together.
Glancing back at him, he kept his eyes on you. "Gaz was talking about songs he thought would suit him, y'know?" He nodded, waiting patiently for you to continue. "Was gonna suggest that maybe he should choose 'It's Raining Men', considering his little incident with a helicopter," he snorted above you, shaking his head.
"Maus has jokes, hasn't she?" You shook your head, looking away for a few minutes, watching as the 141 continued to be themselves. Without you. Had they really needed you? "Get those thoughts out of your head," he snapped at you and you glance up at him. König was watching the group as well.
"What?"
"I know what you are thinking," he told you. "I know that look. Do not beat yourself with stones not thrown," you couldn't look at him. The fact that he knew, he had known, what you were thinking.
How you felt so alone, ever since you transferred. You weren't close to any of these soldiers, you didn't know them. They didn't know you, and so you were left off to the side, like a toy they didn't want to play with but didn't want anyone else to have.
As useless as a centimeter of thread, disappearing without a trace when not watched. Disappearing because you weren't necessary to the entire picture, because you didn't have a true purpose that wasn't already fulfilled by someone bigger, better than you.
Useless.
"You are not so alone," he said. "Not so different from any soldier, but that doesn't make you useless. It doesn't make you any less important than those men already there," you glanced up at him, watching his eyes dance across the crowd.
König glanced down at you, eyes crinkling slightly with what you could only assume was a smile. A throat cleared behind you and you glanced back, turning fully to see the bartender in front of you. König gave his order and glanced down at you.
"I've had enough to drink, I should probably pull back," you whispered. "Just a water, for me," you told the man. You watched as the drinks were set out, pulling the water close to you and gulping down mouthfuls of it.
Like you hadn't drank in years, even though it had only been minutes. Your mouth felt dry, mind whirling thousands of miles a minute. You could hear little whispers of the people around you, feeling everything pushing in on you all at once. The heat of all of the bodies surrounded you, pushing in on you and you were stuck in your head.
"Schatz?" It pulled you out, a hand touching your bicep and pulling you from everything. You could see a woman trying to sweeten him up, pressing up against his side. "Talk to me, Maus," he whispered. "'m all ears," he told you.
You glanced at the woman and he did too, her toothy smile dropping as soon as he turned away, a little scoff coming from her. Some words that disappeared into the background came from her lips, and you couldn't read her lips to catch it.
"You are important, Maus," he said. A statement, no questions regarding it. "We all care about you, but you need to find yourself. Find who you are outside of a soldier, create your person. They know you as a soldier, not as a person," König cleared his throat. "Give them some time, I am sure Soap and Gaz will pull you in with them," and you looked up at him.
His eyes had followed the woman through the crowd, watching as she struggled her way back to her friends. As much as you didn't realize it, he was watching everything around you. He probably knew just about as much of yourself as you did, just from watching you.
"I have ears for you," König said, eyes glancing down. "Only ears for you,"
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musicalchaos07 · 4 months
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Resisting the urge to tell y'all my anti Stancy thoughts bc I promised myself I'd try to stop being a hater on main
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izzy444angel · 11 months
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this is me all day
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manstrans · 3 months
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life hack: imagine your ocd intrusive thoughts are anon hate so you can reply "the reading comprehension on this site"
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hansoeii · 6 months
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one day they might be brave enough
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roseforviolet · 26 days
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dreamingawayyour1ife · 5 months
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Girlrotting ⁺. ༶
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verawhisk · 3 months
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*the gang steps into baldur’s gate*
halsin: they’re making people pay for flowers?? for fruit?? things that silvanus gave to us for free?!
astarion: omg why are you yelling at me? i didnt make the system
astarion: wait
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nanaminokanojo · 16 days
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Sukuna is pissed.
The reason? You moved away from him in your sleep when he wanted to hold you close.
In your own subtle ways, you've always complained about how unaffectionate he is. You didn't explicitly say it, but he did notice how your mood would shift, your pretty little smiles barely masking your disappointment when he would do or say anything remotely cold or mean. And now that he was giving you what you wanted, you just roll away from him, depriving him of your warmth and the affection he expects you to reward him.
How you even managed to escape four of his arms to find your own corner of the bed was a big puzzle to him. You've always slept peacefully pressed to his side on most nights, and you didn't really move much once he had two of his arms wrapped around your frail form. Perhaps you were doing it on purpose after he had evidently upset you during supper by dismissing you when you asked about his day. There was nothing to tell, and though he understands that your concerns came from a good place, he still refused to tell you of the horrors of the world he found himself so deeply embroiled in.
Sukuna, however, brushed off the idea. You wouldn't dare. Or would you? He was just protecting you. Why would you hold that against him?
He chose not to entertain the thought, thinking it was just you moving in your sleep. And so, he reached for you, gently placing his arms over and underneath you to pull you closer. But it hadn't even been a minute of him holding you when you started letting out these seemingly irritated noises and shortly after, you were turning your back on him.
"What –" He stopped himself when you breathed in deeply, half expecting to hear sobs if you were truly upset with him, but then, your breathing rhythm returned to normal. You were still fast asleep.
Sukuna shrugged, already feeling his temper rising at the thought that you could sleep just fine without him. The thought of it annoyed him, and that was an understatement. He decided to move closer to you then, but as soon as he did, pressing your back on his bare chest, you started squirming, a dissatisfied groan leaving your lips.
At that, he rose slightly on his elbow, taking offense. "Woman, what is your problem?" he demanded, making you lie down flat on your back, startling you. "Is something ailing you?" This time, he spoke gently, watching as you slowly blinked up at his frowning face like you haven't got a clue what he's talking about. And then you closed your eyes before favoring your left side, going back to sleep.
"You –"
"What?" you whined without facing him, annoyed that your sleep was being disturbed.
Sukuna scoffed. You've really done it this time. Nobody dared speak to him that way. "What now? You don't want me anymore? I thought you wanted –"
In one swift movement, he found himself being tackled onto the bed as you turned around and threw yourself against him, immediately finding your spot in the crook of his neck. His two left arms instinctively wrapped around you, keeping you cradled in them as you snuggled closer, planting a kiss under his collarbone as if to appease him before you were falling back asleep.
"You could have just stayed like this –"
"Shh."
Did you just shush him? And as if to punctuate it, you raised your hand, your fingers blindly yet tenderly brushing his lips and staying there.
"Wife, you are aware I have two mouths, aren't you?" he spoke against your fingers, fighting a smile.
You moved your head back to smirk at him as you threw a leg over his abdomen right where his other mouth was, your thigh preventing it from saying anything.
"There. Problem solved."
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shitbl0gger · 1 month
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marysfavdaughter · 4 months
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angelbabypearl · 1 month
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almostsweetangel · 1 year
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NYT article abt goncharov has comments like 'what is the purpose of this film's existence these kids are just lying' motherfucker how do you think our ancestors survived. how do you think folklore formed. culture. music. art. PURPOSE????? do you think everything must be commodified? sold? weighed to be valued? has the rot in your soul spread so far you cannot find value in anything not spoken in numbers??? it's FUN. THAT'S WHY. THE PURPOSE IS THE ACT, THE MESSAGE IS THE MEDIUM, THE SYMBOL IS THE STORY. it brings people joy for its mere existence and that IS the point. existence is its purpose alone
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izzy444angel · 8 months
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sugarlywhispers · 4 months
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the sudden thought of bakugou katsuki sending an audio to his s/o while at the gym, where he speaks IN BETWEEN GASPS AND GRUNTS AND EVEN GROWLS BECAUSE OF THE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT HE'S LIFTING WHILE ALSO TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE FOR DINNER AND SUGGESTING MEALS OR PLEACES TO GO IF YOU WANT AND THEN HE SAYS, "Ugh... whatever you... mmh... want, baby, it's yours..." AND HE EXHALES FUCKING SEXILY AS THE SOUND OF THE WEIGHT DROPPING IS HEARD.
— I'M DYING HELP.
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dlwrish · 21 days
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