I'm just so lonely. Not just today, but every day.
My bed is filled with stuffed animals gifted to me by friends who I don't talk to anymore. Their solidness and warmth cradle against me in faux affection.
I anxiously double check online communities I'm apart of waiting for a text that will never arrive. Filling my days with people I don't know, looking to clutter the void with lookalike company of people who have long since left.
I tease the earth with my hands, dance the ground and whisper promises to the weeds in my backyard. Yet I flounder and flail at the opportunity to romance myself and others.
I fantasize about a faceless lover when the only person whose ever been in my bed is me.
My room is cluttered with things I love and tend too; so much so that it feels too cold and empty to leave. Anywhere else is simply too cold.
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You did so amazing today.
But your gonna do better tomorrow. Your gonna show up for yourself in every way. You won't let anything hold you back.
Even if it hurts, if it's uncomfortable, if it takes an eternity you will heal. You will grow. You will blossom into the woman you always needed in your life.
I'm so proud of you and I'm so excited to see where we will go.
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