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corvidsfullmoons · 9 months

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Playing with the snappy chatty.lol. depression sucks.

#depression #stressed #weak #vulnerable #dark space #alone #struggling #hate this part of life #emotional #i need a hug and a good cry #fake it til you make it #snapchat #filters #beauty thru the pain #blue eyes holding back the tears & pain #i wanna be held

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inkskinned · 7 months

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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

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theygender · 2 years

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The more I learn about judaism the more I wonder where tf christianity got all its bad shit. Why is divorce a sin in christianity when judaism has recognized the right to divorce for nearly a millennia and has codified religious laws for it. Why does christianity consider sex to be dirty (to the point where puritans considered it a sin to enjoy having sex with your own spouse) when in judaism it's considered holy and it's a literal mitzvah to have sex with your spouse on the sabbath. Why does christianity consider it a sign that you're faithless if you question your religion when in judaism that's considered an essential part to developing your faith. I'm probably stating the obvious here but I still can't get over the fact that there's no historical basis to any of this shit before christianity started, it's like christians just said "hey guys what if we took the torah and built a new religion around it but this time it was actively hostile to human life"

#rambling #disclaimer this isnt about individual christians im speaking about the religious trauma i experienced in my own life etc etc #these are just a few examples that I've noticed but they're definitely something #the part about sex in particular shocked me bc sex is pretty much viewed as actively evil in a lot of christian denominations #like you should only do it to create children and if you take pleasure in it (even if its with your own spouse) youre a dirty sinner #there arent as many examples like this nowadays but if you read puritan laws about sex it's like #you're allowed to have sex with your wife basically 10 times a year but you have to be fully clothed with the lights off #and you cant have sex on a holiday or a sunday and you cant touch each other and you have to try as hard as possible to hate it #literally WHERE did that mindset come from?? like for real #in judaism having sex with your spouse is basically considered a celebration of everything holy #and if you have sex on the sabbath (the holiest day in the jewish calendar—above every holiday)#its considered TWICE as holy #make it make sense #this is one of the things people mean when they say that lumping judaism in with christianity as 'abrahamic' religions is meaningless #theyre literally nothing alike #the only similarity is the torah but thats only half of the christian bible and one third of the jewish one #AND christianity interprets most of it completely differently from how judaism does #im tired #greatest hits #hall of fame

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queenofinys · 20 days

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She swallowed past a lump in her throat, looked up into her son’s eyes. "Paul…I want you to do something for me: choose the course of happiness. Your desert woman, marry her if that’s your wish. Defy everyone and everything to do this. But choose your own course. I…."

LADY JESSICA & CHANI KYNES IN DUNE: PART TWO (2024)

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nelkcats · 8 months

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Coffee-scented kisses

Tim fell in love with a barista. At first he had wondered if it was simply a mistake, to transfer his love for coffee to the person who produced it, but slowly he realized it was a little more than that.

Danny, the new barista, didn't really criticize him when he ordered 8 coffees a day, as long as he was on shift. He also didn't ask him about his health insurance every time he ordered Death Wish, and even made sure to make small talk every time he delivered his coffee.

It had only been a few days since he was hired but Tim fell in love with his small talk, his care, and of course, his coffee.

Then, when Danny was suspected of working with Two Face he was heartbroken. The boy was probably innocent, but he couldn't get out of his head that nothing in Gotham was simple, everyone kept secrets, including himself. So he made up his mind to stay away from Danny, for his sake.

Danny, for his part, was Harvey Dent's assistant and a part-time barista, he just wanted to distract himself and Harvey was strangely sympathetic after telling him about running away from home. Kind of like a guy you stay with during the vacations, but more permanent.

The halfa started to worry when the cute boy from the cafe stopped coming, maybe he was in danger? Danny couldn't help but worry, but when his coworkers told him Tim was coming in on other shifts he wondered if the boy was avoiding him.

#dpxdc #Barista Danny #he likes his part time job #making coffee relaxes him #Danny escaped from Amity #he closed the portal but he couldn't stay there any longer #his parents hated him enough the way he was #so he decided to escape #he took a backpack with some of his most precious items along with some money and ended up in Gotham #Harvey found him on the streets and basically decided to keep him #Two Face is delighted with Danny but Harvey forbade him to interfere #mostly to keep Danny away from a life of crime #dp x dc #dc x dp #dead tired #Tim fell in love with Danny because of his coffee #and his attitude but mainly the coffee #he felt betrayed when he discovered that Danny could be related to a rogue #But he guessed that everyone in Gotham had secrets #which reminded him of his own secrets and the fact that he could put the barista in danger #so basically he started avoiding Danny to protect him #or that's what he tells himself

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eugeniedanglars · 11 months

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the way i see it, colin has three options for handling the repercussions of kissing michael on the pitch in front of everyone:

gatekeep: by some miracle no one caught the kiss on camera so colin's sexuality is kept between him and any fans who happened to be on the pitch near him. the safest option.

girlboss: keeley gets the pr challenge of a lifetime handling the story of the first active premier league player to come out as gay. rebecca is tall and powerful and intimidating in the press room making it clear that richmond stands behind colin one thousand percent. the most realistic option.

gaslight: straight-up blatantly lying. not because he's ashamed or because he thinks he can actually convince anyone that the kiss didn't happen, but just because he refuses to let it be a big deal. acts like he has no idea what anyone is talking about if asked anything related to his sexuality. he doesn't claim to be straight, mind you, he just pretends to be extremely confused about why they're asking because he never kissed anyone in the middle of a football pitch at the end of an internationally-televised game? when presented with photo and video proof of the kiss he says that was some other richmond player named hughes who wears a number 12 jersey. you don't know him, he goes to another school. the funniest option.

#colin literally standing in front of michaels house unloading a moving truck: i have no idea who that man who kissed that richmond player is #weird that he looks exactly like the guy standing in the doorway behind me! oh well life is full of mysteries #the tabloid reporter who ambushed colin goes home that night and contemplates a change of career #ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #the more i think about it the less bothered i am by them not addressing the repercussions in the episode #because i love open endings and hate flash-forward endings that give you all the answers (part of why i hated the montage)#and i'm having so much fun imagining all the ways the aftermath of The Kiss could have played out #over 1k

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metamatronic · 4 months

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really bummed over matpat leaving (even if I mostly watched gtlive nowadays) but hope his other projects go well and he can focus more on his family!!!

#i know people hate matpat on here #but i’ll die on this fuckin hill i liked his content #he was cringy from time to time but i thought he was funny and endearing #and gtlive was a huge part of my life #don’t think i would’ve love fnaf as much as i did without him tbh #meta talks

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keylimeart · 26 days

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scott im so obsessed with your ex

#maddies got those hips got those lips life of every party #most redeeming part of 97 so far tbh #like 97 looks so good but i HATE the writing #its all rushed and dont get me started on Rogue #art #fanart #myart #digital art #marvel #marvel fanart #xmen #x men #xmen 97 #x men 97 #xmen fanart #jean grey #madelyne pryor #goblin queen #wouldnt mind goblin that queen amirite fellas

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copypastus · 5 months

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Feyre's selective hearing is the origin of my villain arc.

#my art #acotar #acotar fanart #rhysand #feyre archeron #feysand #acomaf #anti feyre #anti sjm #rhys killed his tamily too feyre!#that was a pretty important part of that story!#he melted his brother's brains!#his dad killed tamlin's mom even tho he promised him he wouldn't #wow what are the odds tamlin went through something similar when rhys's mom and sister got killed #rhys wasn't there #AND NO ONE BOTHERS TO ASK HIM #srsly tho i get it she's fully on board the tamlin hate train at this point #but the way she twists every little thing the man does to be him being an asshole on purpose is just >_>#tamlin did nothing wrong ever in his life

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wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt · 6 months

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"Deep inside, Wilson believes that if he cares enough, he'll never have to die."

What the fuck were the House writers on

#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions #this quote is attempted murder #i cant live like this #This also puts the scene were Wilson tells House he wishes he was more of an asshole into perspective #“i wish i had been more a selfish jerk” “youd still have cancer” “atleast id feel like i deserved it”#because wilson spent his whole life helping people because some part of him genuinely believed that he would live a very long good life #as long as he was doing good and helping people #but in the end none of it mattered and in his mind he wasted his entire life being overly good when he couldve just lived how he wanted #because in the end it didnt make any difference #brb sobbing #thats why when people act like wilson is the devil for saying that to house i lose 5 years of my life #house md #house #greg house #james wilson #gregory house #hilson #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md #wilson #housemd

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krazycat6167 · 7 months

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So @somerandomdudelmao made a version of their sona in a dystopia (inspired by @tapakah0 doing the same to theirs) and the person in this ask named the robot C.A.S.5 and I thought, ‘well then there’s at least four other C.A.S. units out and about in the world’ leading to this being the end result! It was a lot of fun to come up with the different customizations each C.A.S. unit has.

also, the design for C.A.S.4 (Cash) was partially inspired by @mobiitez post.

Doodles:

#somerandomdudelmao #tapakah0 #my art #Dystopia au #Mob’s character design session #cass fanart tag #i think #I’m probably not going to make more C.A.S. bots but just know C.A.S.7 or Cast is bird based (not sure which bird yet) and blue for my sis #small detail but on Cass there’s broken wires on the back of their head so I decided that they used to connect to the body #Cash hates Castle while Castle is indifferent unless Cash tries to steal from her #Case is vibing with the farm life and making up little tunes #Cazz is a cross between the crazy old cat lady and a backwoods cryptid - they will stare at you from the shadowed depths of the scrap yard #while making commentary to the parts they keep for themselves and of those parts Benji is the favorite #Battery packs for C.A.S. units attach to the things that stick out their backs for the wires - except Cazz who made some internal modificat #No one knows exactly how since the mods are a chaotic hodgepodge of patchwork but they somehow work #Had a lot of fun watching others make stuff for the impromptu dystopia au the vibes of the world were awesome #Technically fanart #so yeah #enjoy!

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karizipan · 6 months

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orv dump 5(?)

#do NOTTT look closely at the last one absolutely hate the rendering and how yjh turned out there #so sorry to her she's just here to fill out the space cjwhqkdkd I'll edit this img and change it when I get to render it better...#but for now... The version I don't like HELP #rizdoodads #orviz #orv #Commentary time #first img oooh sorry it's taking so long rizashdaff nation HELP #I've finally rendered Han sooyoung in there after 1 billion years. Still haven't rendered the sword... Baby steps kuno! Jhwke #2nd img ARGGHH I think I'll redraw some parts of it but overall... I'm iffy on it KWHEKF we'll see if this survives as it is!#3rd img. Redraw of my previous uriel. Thought abt fake clip-on bangs and honestly I thought it'd be cute! And it was #4th img oooh this was for yhk week freeday but my stupid ass made it like this one long img and it was midterms week #<- could not finish but the idea is yhk domestic marriage life #5th img based off of that beautifully written transfem yjh fic emmm IN REDRAWING THIS I PROMMYYY I DONT LIKE IT PLEASSEEE DONT LOOK AT IT #Anyway that's all 👍

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canisalbus · 2 months

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Does machete enjoy being a priest?

Not as much as he had hoped.

#answered #anonymous #he doesn't hate it #and he's very good at parts of it #but it's generally unfun bad time and he wouldn't recommend it #at least he can afford to live in a big house and buy nice things and tell himself he made it far in life

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eimids · 2 months

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I miss you, I'm sorry

Alexia Putellas x reader

This is just pretty much angst. It won't be long but I just need to write rn to get my feelings out.

Summary: Listen to the song ! But this is about Ale and reader's relationship and it's ending.

You said "forever" and I almost bought it.

"Baby you are my future" Alexia whispered to your ear as you were having a bad night. You were scared of losing Alexia and your every insecurity was brought up to your mind.

"Do you promise me that we will last forever?" You whispered back with tears in your eyes.

"Forever mi amor, forever" She whispered and kissed your lips so sweetly that you were so close to believing every single word she said.

You wanted to wallow in the false security. You wanted what you had with Ale to last forever. Of course there where bad times, times where she didn't give enough time for you because of football. She was always at practice but she promised to change, and for a while she did.

You had noticed the fact that she was pulling away, in some way distancing herself from you, you didn't have date nights as often, she wouldn't give you a goodnight kiss or even text if you weren't together. You wanted to believe that it was just the fact that she was busy with football but deep down you knew it was something else.

But how could you not believe her when she tells you she want's a future with you, she want's to buy a house and raise a family. When she tells you that you are her only girl and that she loves you more than anything.

Disagreements about your insecurities became an often times discussed topic. You knew that you were a lot to handle but so did she and still she always told you that it wasn't too much for her. That she could handle all the trauma and insecurities that you have.

"Do you love me anymore" You suddenly asked one night in bed. You were deep in your thoughts and just wanted reassurance.

"What the hell?" She asked in defense. It wasn't the answer you had hope for. All you wanted for her was to say that "I still love you, I promise". You had told Alexia time and time again that you needed reassurance and that you were a very insecure person but often questions like that only brought a fight up.

Nothing happened in the way i wanted

The date night you were looking forward to had finally came. You were exited that Alexia had finally planned a night for the just two of you. You could finally be held in her arms and be loved the way you deserve to be loved.

But when you arrived at the spot where you were supposed to meet, she wasn't there. You waited for 10 minutes, then 20 minutes and soon it was an hour. You were supposed to have a picnic at the place where your first date was. You were supposed to finally have a romantic night with your love but she didn't show up.

You didn't even bother texting her, you just went back to your apartment and cried yourself to sleep. You knew you would wake up to messages where Alexia was apologizing and probably making this sound like it wasn't that big of a deal and it was your fault somehow.

Everywhere I go leads me back to you.

Somehow Alexia was able to make you forgive her and you were soon back at her apartment. You had a sick feeling in your stomach but just wanted to ignore it.

Alexia was nervous when she came to open the door.

"I need to tell you something" Were the words that you were afraid off. "Could we maybe talk later today?"

"Can we just talk now?" You said, wanting to just get it over.

"Baby I'm so sorry but I have met someone" Were the words coming out of Ale's mouth. She continued talking but it was just all a blur to you. Those were the words you knew were coming but just didn't want to believe.

You blamed yourself for everything. You would take Alexia back in a heartbeat if she asked.

You should have been better

You should not have been so insecure

You should have been better

You should not have been too much for her to handle.

You should have been better

The text you ended up sending her later that night was simple.

I miss you, I'm sorry

#woso community #wlw post #woso fanfics #woso x reader #angst #im sad af #lowkay hate my life so i wrote this #don't expect a part two hahaha #alexia putellas marry me #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas

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m0e-ru · 5 months

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i cant believe p4g came out and every single one of you forgot about adachis sister

#persona 4 spoilers #persona 4 #p4 #marie persona #tohru adachi #shadow adachi #gsa sl au #shit bangs club #arttag #boot.tingting #komikku #// okya heres the proper weekly #// royal released and you didnt do this to sumi . to maruki. i'll never forgive you #// 'i think the forgetting and being forgotten part is maries whole character theme' oh would you zip it once in your life #// girl has him writing on the animalcrossing stationery #// 'why goodbye sengen. will you ever tell them about s.adachi' no. you just have to feel it in your bones #// 'If you'd tried just a little harder to meet them halfway...' / 'I couldn't and that's just how the world is!' DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF?#// YOU SAY YOU HATE MARIE BECAUSE SHES A TSUNDERE MARYSUE? THEY MADE ADACHI INTO A HIGHSCHOOL GIRL & THIS IS HOW YOU REACT? its the misogyn

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brighteuphony · 2 months

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I LOVE your Sakura AU, thank you so much for making it 🥹

Even though her ending is supposed to be “good”, I always thought that canon didn’t do her justice and threw any character development she had out of the window so she can be with Sasuke

I SO wanted her to finally move on and just let go

And I don’t have anything against Sasusaku

But I think it’d be much more beautiful if Sakura long let go of her feelings by the time Sasuke came to his senses and they developed their relationship TOGETHER from the START

And, once again, your work is AMAZING and I can’t wait for next pieces ❤️

Btw, can I ask a question?) Will we see Naruto’s and Sasuke’s reaction to her condition (maybe flashback to before she left the village?), if not, can you please tell me a bit about it? I can’t imagine them to ignore her after the incident, especially considering that they are at fault as usual

Thank you so much for the kind words! I've also never been a fan of how Sakura ended up. I have no beef with SasuSaku, but my biggest issue was that we never saw Sasuke try to make up/connect with Sakura in the same way we saw him do with Naruto, so their romance in Boruto just felt so...abrupt?

As for what happens to Sakura and her friends....

Sasuke was essentially put on probation/jailed, but broke out and defected to Otogakure as canon. This devastates Sakura, as she's both in deep denial about his contribution to her injuries and also the fact that she basically threw herself in there for nothing. Kakashi shuts down completely. It's a nightmare replay of his own past, including the female team-mate being horrifically injured by the chidori. The guilt of everything is eating him alive so he basically withdraws into himself and uses her demotion to civilian status as a way to trick himself into thinking that if he just 'rips off the bandaid' and cut ties, she'll be able to move on more easily.

Naruto is the only person who is really able/willing to face justice. After the incident, he was basically also put on probation/awaiting trial but busted himself out to join Jiraya.

So for context, Sakura got clapped hard by the Rasengan/Chidori combo (hearing gone, nerve damage, eyes shot etc) and basically had to be put in a coma to try and stop the damage from getting worse, but unfortunately none of the medics in Konoha had the ability to reverse anything but the most superficial damage. So Naruto joined Jiraya in an attempt to find and bring the only person in the world who could give Sakura a sliver of hope.

I felt like this worked well with canon and the desperation to get Tsunade to be hokage and Naruto basically begged her on his hands and knees to help Sakura. Tsunade made it there in the nick of time managed to save everything but her eyes.

But Sakura's life has fallen apart, her career is over, her parents dead from Konoha Crush and her eyes gone...and Naruto is the most convenient and available person to take out all her rage on, so...while he deserves a lot of that rage..she is essentially punching down on who she perceives to be the cause of all her problems.

Lee is in the same boat as her, but while he tries very hard to be there for her, Sakura can't stand to be with him right now, as it just makes the reality of life hit that much worse- especially when she finds out there's a surgery that might give him a better chance than she'll ever have.

And Ino visits often at first, but then it's awkward...and painful as the weeks go by. They have lunch and gossip but at some point, there's not much a shinobi and civilian have in common, especially after the shortage of manpower post Konoha-crush has Ino entrenched in the shinobi life more than ever before.

I hope this answered some stuff! Thank you so much for the questions and the interest! I love Sakura and I just wanna give her the development and power she deserves!!

#naruto #naruto au #sakura #haruno sakura #ino #kakashi #tsunade #rock lee #sasuke #sakura pov: ur life is falling apart #no hating on sakura here #yes she's cruel #but she's also TWELVE and has NO real support #and honestly naruto is part of the problem rn

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