feeling officially aro for now

Experiments with Mohair + FO: Friends Ear Warmer

Good Morning, Crafters! In my fiber crafts learning journey this week, I made my first finished object using a merino wool, held together with mohair. It seems that crafters are either a fan of mohair or dislike mohair, and I haven't seen anyone in between. So I figured it was time to figure out where I stood in this equation.

A couple of months ago I picked up some colorways in the relatively new Hobbii "Friends" Collection, the idea behind this product line being that you can mix and match the exact colorways across multiple fibers and weights. I think this is an excellent idea to create a line with varied, but reliable colors, and very well has the potential to be a staple when wanting to use a base of solids. There's cottons, kid silk, wool, a cotton and acrylic blend, and extra fine merino for all your fiber fun needs.

As I mentioned, I chose the extra fine merino and kid silk (79) - it will be the same across all fibers, which is also a nice feature and makes my organized brain all happy - also known as "Open Sea." Find the yarn here: Kid Silk, Extra Fine Merino Find the Friends Collection Here. With kid silk, I am getting not the pure experience of mohair, as it actually is a blend with 72% Mohair, 25% Silk, 3% Wool. I don't have a comparison, but I can tell you the silk probably gives it a bit of shimmer and possibly softens the yarn. But merino and mohair from what I've read both tend to be considered soft wools, and are not the experience one might think of. If you are thinking of the scratchy stuff, these are not it. I can attest they feel like clouds, so I think they would be good for those with sensitive skin. As long as you are not allergic to the fiber, which can happen too. With my yarns delivered, I first wanted to go about exploring the difference in the color. There's always bound to be some variety based on the way the fibers are able to hold the dye (I am sure there is a scientific word for that), but I was surprised to see that not only was the color as I expected based on the colors on my computer screen, but also that they did match each other even closer than I expected. I also ordered a pink in the kid silk and cotton (37) or "Rosewood."

It was then time to start working up my skeins to see how they worked together, and to determine where I stood with these materials.

Since softness was key, I figured I should test it on a pattern close to the skin. I chose a headband pattern from Hobbii, that was designed for their Universe line, but is an easy one to adjust for different yarn weights and desired width. This is a crochet pattern, and will create a gorgeous texture with alternating post stitches. You can find the FREE pattern here.

The first thing I realized - the mohair creates a GORGEOUS natural halo. And that I think is the first thing to recognize about your own aesthetic when deciding whether to give mohair a try. Halo is those errant strands of fiber around your work - sometimes occurring overtime with use - and in this case, added intentionally because it will change the look of your fabric, but also provide extra warmth and softness. I think an ear warmer was the perfect choice of project for these yarns, and in my case, I really enjoyed the slight nuance of the new fabric I was creating - the kid silk adding just a bit of light to the matte of the merino.

There's a downside - this was not a froggable project. When I was first beginning the headband, I wasn't happy initially with the width and wanted to pull everything back to make it smaller. When I went to frog, I only felt comfortable going back a row, worrying that I would break the strands if I tugged it harder. Since I only had the one skein each, I chose to keep going forward. I am glad I did, because the end result is just right with the twist sewn in. You know - perfect - just as we are about to go into the warmth of Spring.

I'll keep it for winter. <3

In the end Mohair - would try again! I feel like there could be a definitely appeal to expand into more adventurous color combinations now that I've seen how the strands and colors work together. I can definitely see that rosewood color way with a different yarn that could completely transform the look. I get it, I definitely do. **I am new to this fiber journey**

Ardent Affections :

Pairing : Timeskip + Virgin! Sakusa Kiyoomi x Female reader

Rating : 18+, Explicit

Word count : 3k

Warnings : Smut and fluff (and holy shit I ended up including a bit of angst) , Loss of virginity, blow job, fingering, vaginal sex, established relationships.

A/n: I prefer dirtier side of Smuts but this was as far as I could go with Saku sooooo I hope my fluffy smut isn't cringey >.<.

Putting the plum filled onigiri in the clean plastic container, you give it another look over to make sure it's tidy enough, afterall, the person you made this for was nothing if not picky. But, you also knew he loved umeboshi, so after a few successful weeks of your relationship with Sakusa, you went ahead and bought more than enough dried plums to practice making something he won't be able to refuse. It didn't take long to reach the gym he was practicing at, with lunch time approaching, he'd be on his break too, giving you the perfect chance to have some alone time.

One would think, that no boyfriend would refuse their significant other's cooking but falling in love with him as well as dating him made you realise it wasn't the status quo. He was, at the very least, peculiar. Always on his own, Sakusa never felt the need to be involved with a lot of people, ironical as it may be for someone who played a team sport, his idiosyncrasies made it hard for most people to get close to him. That's why the sight of a cluster of high shool girls flocking your boyfriend, to give him their handmade goods was comical yet unsettling.

It wasn't something you got jealous at, but it's something that made you second guess yourself instead, whenever the thought of making him something pooped in your head, this same scene played infront of your eyes. Sakusa surrounded by a bunch of girls with heart eyes, wanting to give him stuff. On the verge of losing his polite demeanor, Sakusa almost gave them a taste of his blunt indifference if it weren't for some faculty member intervening. Today was the same.

With the perfect excuse, he pulled himself away from the group and sauntered towards you, eye twitching with a look that screamed ' I saw you having fun on my expense'. You quickly pulled yourself out of the gloomy thoughts and greeted him with your regular smile.

" I didn't wanted to disturb your fan meet", the cheeky tone in your voice added to his annoyance.

" I assure you that you didn't, besides you know I don't like hand made stuff ", he grumbled, voice carrying the regular icky note you were used to but it caused the dull ache in your heart grew. Before you could answer, you saw Bokuto running towards your direction, making you jump with his boisterous greeting,

" HEY! Y/n chan!... Are you gonna join us for lunch as well ?", The look in his face was as cute as his voice which was cutoff by Sakusa's cold one,

" No. I don't like the places you go to eat. Also, I'm done for today so we have no reason to stay.", Curt and to the point, Sakusa answered him and gestured you with his eyes to follow him instead.

" Geez, it's like he can never let loose!, Y/n chan! You should ask him to open up more!", pouting, the energetic male glared at Sakusa's retreating form.

"Ummm, Sorry Bokuto! He still doesn't know how to..... People? I guess? But he's trying! I know he is! So don't worry... We'll catch up with you guys sometime else okay?", With a slight bow, you trailed after your boyfriend, leaving a deflated Bokuto behind.

As you walked behind him, you thought about the first time the both of you met, he didn't even looked at you properly before leaving just like he was right now, about how you had to put your feelings out in the open first so that he'd finally notice them, how, for the last few days your garbage can only had dozens of messed up onigiri, and how the lunch you packed was getting colder by the minute as it layed still in your bag.

You were lost in thought for the rest of the way, he wasn't one to talk much but your constant silence was not something that often happened. Still not being used to initiating small talks, all he could do was gaze at the dazed look on your face.

The two of you made your way back to his apartment that the sports facility provided the players. You had been here a couple of times before but never long enough to actually call it 'staying over'.

" Why are we at your place?", You quietly ask, making him pause before speaking.

" I did say I was done with practice for the day", opening the front door he ushered you in. It was unsurprisingly neat, the entrance not having any useless items, infact everything in his place had a purpose or use.

It was a big step, him letting anyone in his personal space, considering his high maintenance personality you thought he'd dip you in a bucket of sanitizer everyday but he was a lot more chill when you both take your respective baths. He still goes in first.

The moment you stepped outside the bathroom, you saw a nervous looking Sakusa was sitting on the edge of his bed.

" Did you really wanted to have lunch with those guys?", His abrupt question caught you off guard, so apparently he took your silencein the wrong way, but it still warmed your heart to know he noticed and cared enough to talk about it, albeit clumsily.

" Is that why you think I was quite on our way here?", The reply you gave made him avert his eyes, whether it was out of embarrassment or the awkwardness in the room, it didn't change the fact that your sudden change in behaviour was noted by your boyfriend.

" If you have something to say, then I want you to tell me, I'm afraid I won't know otherwise", Sakusa added, finally looking at you with his deadpan yet sharp look.

He was right, every couple needs to have proper communication in order for their relationship to succeed, so with that in mind you decided to tell him about what's bothering you.

Walking over to his side, you sat next to him,

" I made you lunch today, but when I saw you rejecting your fans gifts saying you don't like handmade stuff, it- bothered me.", Your reasoning might've been a little selfish, it's not like you wanted to force anything on him just because you were his girlfriend but the fear of getting rejected always made you hold back on so many things.

" So I didn't give it to you, and then I just started having a trail of depressing thoughts about how maybe I'm the only one who wants anything from this relationship, I mean we haven't even done anything more than kissing Kiyoomi.", To you, this confession was nothing more than the frustrations you've built up. He was silently listening as you went on, not interrupting until you were done.

" I see....", His soft baritone was laced I'm regret as he brought his hands to you head, gently combing the strands, " I'm sorry, I made you feel that way, it's obvious that both of us need to work on our communication skills but there is one thing you got wrong", saying that, his hand combing you hair pushed you forward until you were right in front of his glossy lips,

" It should go without saying that I wouldn't let you in here if I didn't loved you, and you wouldn't be in this bed either if I didn't wanted you.", By the end of his sentence, his hot mouth covered your in a demonically passionate kiss which was all teeth and tongue. It was probably your longest kiss as well, making you grip his shoulders so hard it would've probably left marks if it weren't for his taut musculature. You pressed you hands on his sculpted chest, feeling his nipples harden as you slowly run you thumbs over them. Sakusa pulled away from you to catch a few breaths, his lips shining with your mixed saliva.

" I've never done this before......", hesitation crossed his eyes which soon melted into a look of determination as he brought his face near yours.

"But if it's with you, I know I'll like it", he panted, pulling you on his lap to continue his ministrations from a more closer proximity. The uncharacteristically deep kiss encouraged your hands to roam around more, to feel all of his ripped form through the fabric of his thin shirt. Your hand grazed his crotch, this contact alone was enough to make him twitch, his virginity showing, the blush on his cheeks spreaded all the way to his neck.

The front of his shorts looked so strained,It was painfully clear how much his cock was begging for attention, so you pushed Sakusa back until he was lying flat on the bed, feet still on the floor. Searching his eyes for any objections, you pulled his waistband down to reveal his bulging member. It suited a big guy like him, his thick cock felt so hot and heavy in you hand it took everything in you to stop yourself from jumping on it right away.

" Hggg... Wait... It's-", his voiced carried more embarrassment than discomfort but you stopped nonetheless.

" Dirty?.....is that what you want to say?", questioningly, you looked at him from between his legs as he nodded.

" Well sex is better dirty but, I'll try not to make a mess okay?", With a wink you grabbed his shaft with one hand and took his tip in your mouth. The warm, wet insides of your mouth touching the sensitive head of his cock made him shudder in pleasure but he didn't make more than a hum. Maybe your boyfriend was still embarrassed but now that you finally get to go down on him, you made it a personal goal to hear his moans.

Detemined to hear his beautiful whimpers, you added pressure on his member through your tongue as you moved your lips up and down, swallowing him as much as you could. Droll dripping from the side of your mouth and his precum gave you enough lubrication to increase you pace, going harder and harder until you felt your teeth make contact with his sensitive shaft, that must've hurt, you thought but atleast it got a reaction out of him.

" AH-.....mmmhh Y/n damnit.....you're doing it too roughly", you heard him complain from above you,

" I just rough housed you a little..... Anyway, you can't blame a girl who's been abstaining herself from fucking her hot boyfriend ", with a pop you pulled him out of your mouth and looked up at the wide eyed Sakusa with an uncharacteristic boldness that even surprised you. Maybe it was because of the situation or because you two had a heart to heart conversation about your feelings just now but you felt oddly comfortable with him more than you ever did before. You knew he loved you enough to put up with anything you'd throw at him at his point, so why not push your luck?

"......well aren't you a vulgar little girl", regaining his composure, Sakusa propped himself on his elbows to give you his trademark deadpan look. You squeeze his balls teasingly in an attempt to rile him up further, his face contorts a little before he shoots you a glare.

" I'm going to make you regret that", with nothing more than a growl he grabbed your hand to make lie face down beside him, for a second you thought he'd spank you, but the moment you raised you head from the mattress to see what's going on, a big hand was on your head pushing your face down again, his other hand ghosting over the hem of your t-shirt.

" It's my turn now, so you better behave", emphasizing the behave he first pulled your shirt off of your shoulders, then swiftly getting rid of your pants. This was an interesting turn of event, just a moment ago your virgin boyfriend was squirming like a pathetic little boy but with just a little teasing made him switch into daddy mode, you'd be lying if you said it wasn't thrilling.

You laid there stark naked as you heard a few rustling sounds coming from behind, indicating Sakusa taking his cloths off. His long, deft fingers grabbed your hips, raising them a slightly off the surface of the mattress, the digits of his right hand crept near your dripping core as if wondering if he should touch you or not, you moved your hips closer so you could feel his touch but he retreated his hand, only to pinch one of your butt cheek. The tease.

" If you're expecting me to eat you out too then keep dreaming..... but since I made you wait so long, I'll give you something else today", his matter of fact tone was even as he traced two long fingers up your slit taking in all of your juices, he pushed them inside your aching pussy. His thick digits rubbing your walls made you moan in the pillow, with his thumb he started rubbing your engorged clit. His actions were not exactly gentle but you didn't wanted them to be either, you wanted him to pound you into the mattress so bad but maybe it was asking too much from someone inexperienced.

" You like this right?", It wasn't exactly a question, as his increased his speed, with his free hand he pinched your ass again leaving small red marks in the fleshy patch of skin. Your first orgasm in so many weeks approached you with an intense force, making you buck you hips in Sakusa's hand. Just as your pussy started clenching around the fingers that was inside it, he withdrew his hand leaving you with a strange sense of emptiness.

" Not so fast y/n, it's more efficient it we cum together, besides I know you want more than just my fingers", his voice carrying the cockiness of someone far more experienced but you can't complain, for both his actions and words were easily bringing you closer to the edge. Ignoring the stickiness of his fingers he lightly massaged your butt cheeks before kneeling right behind them. The sight of your flushed, naked body was enough to get him going, something that he dare not admit.

From the corner of your eye, you saw him opening his bedside drawer to retrieve a condom. Well, atleast one of you were prepared for this, just as he finished putting on the thin protection, he asked you,

" I'm putting it in y/n", he didn't make it sound like a question but it wasn't until you nodded in approval, that he moved. Groaning lightly, Sakusa entered you inch by inch, making the process as slow as possible so could clearly feel the delicious stretch his thick cock provided. You were already panting by the time he bottomed out in you, as he started moving his hips you rolled yours to match his pace, creating a steady rhythm.

Both your pants and body were in sync, building up pleasure that soon reached its peak, the roll of your hips and the sound of his name from your mouth urged him to take a hold of your hips and drive his pulsating member further into your cunt. He felt your walls clenching around him when your body experienced the well awaited orgasm, quivering beneath him like. The sudden pressure added on to his cock made your boyfriend follow right after. The both of you were still riding your high when he lowered his torso on to your back, sweat slicked bodies on top of each other, you wondered what kind of face he would be making right about now. Hoping it wasn't one of disgust, you turned your face to the side, his endearing curls tickling your ears as he kept his nose buried in the nape of your neck.

There was a serene quality to the room where the two of you laid still until Sakusa got up abruptly, you knew that it was bath time even before he uttered anything.

" Let's eat", his soft voice seemed almost like a whisper which was confusing and astonishing at the same time when he tossed one towel to you and quickly wiped himself with the other.

Making quick work of the cleaning, you both went to the living room where you pulled out the bento box from your bag. It felt cold against your hand but this time it didn't make you sad because now you were sure that the person next to you wouldn't reject it.

Opening the box, you noticed they got a little crushed, probably because of you tossing your bag aside dejectedly when you first arrived, the previously well made onigiri lost their original shape but you hoped they tasted the same.

Gingerly showing him the box you thought about quickly explaining it's condition and telling him about how you made it in the most hygienic way possible for a human but the words died in your mouth when Sakusa briskly took one piece out and munched on the distorted rice ball. You watched him chew, waiting became too nerve-racking so you blurted, " How is it Kiyoomi?!", Talk about putting pressure on a guy but it didn't deter him from telling you the truth.

" It's good", the simple reply he gave was the best, you thought, his words were never grandiose, just to the point that's what made you believe them everytime he decides to be honest with you.

"Next time...", He mumbled in between his increasing breaths and tinted cheeks,"Lets make it together".

The Daughter of the Sea - Chapter 8

(Y/n)'s POV

I know someone at camp resents Percy and me because one night, I come into the cabin alone and find a mortal newspaper dropped inside the doorway, a copy of the New York Daily News, opened to the Metro page. The article takes me almost an hour to read, because the angrier I get, the more the words float around on the page.

GIRL, BOY, AND MOTHER STILL MISSING AFTER FREAK CAR ACCIDENT

By Eileen Smythe

Sally Jackson, son Percy, and daughter (Y/n) are still missing one week after their mysterious disappearance. The family's badly burned '78 Camaro was discovered last Saturday on a north Long Island road with the roof ripped off and the front axle broken. The car had flipped and skidded for several hundred feet before exploding.

Mother, daughter, and son had gone for a weekend vacation to Montauk, but left hastily, under mysterious circumstances. Small traces of blood were found in the car and near the scene of the wreck, but there were no other signs of the missing Jacksons. Residents in the rural area reported seeing nothing unusual around the time of the accident.

Ms. Jackson's husband, Gabe Ugliano, claims that his stepson, Percy Jackson, is a troubled child who has been kicked out of numerous boarding schools and has expressed violent tendencies in the past.

Police would not say whether son Percy is a suspect in his sister's and his mother's disappearance, but they have not ruled out foul play. Below are recent pictures of Sally Jackson, (Y/n), Percy. Police urge anyone with information to call the following toll-free Crimestoppers hotline.

The phone number is circled in black marker.

I wad up the paper and throw it away, flopping down on my bunk on the far edge of the cabin under the window facing the sea.

I remain silent as Percy walks into the cabin, flopping down onto his bunk as well.

That night, I have the worst dream yet.

I was running along the beach in a storm. This time, there was a city behind me. Not New York. The sprawl was different: buildings spread farther apart, palm trees and low hills in the distance.

About a hundred yards down the surf, two men were fighting. They looked like TV wrestlers, muscular, with beards and long hair. Both wore flowing Greek tunics, one trimmed in blue, the other in green. They grappled with each other, wrestled, kicked, and head-butted, and every time they connected, lightning flashed, the sky grew darker, and the wind rose.

I had to stop them. I didn't know why. But the harder I ran, the more the wind blew me back until I was running in place, my heels digging uselessly in the sand.

Over the roar of the storm, I could hear the blue-robed one yelling at the green-robed one, Give it back! Give it back! Like a kindergartner fighting over a toy.

The waves got bigger, crashing into the beach, spraying me with salt.

I yelled, Stop it! Stop fighting!

The ground shook. Laughter came from somewhere under the earth, and a voice so deep and evil it turned my blood to ice.

Come down, little hero, the voice crooned. Come down!

The sand split beneath me, opening up a crevice straight down to the center of the earth. My feet slipped, and darkness swallowed me.

I wake up, sure I'm falling.

I am still in bed in Cabin Three. My body tells me it's morning, but it's dark outside, and thunder rolls over the hills.

A storm is brewing.

I hadn't dreamed that . . .

I hear a clopping sound at the door, a hoof knocking on the threshold.

"Come in?" Percy asks, sounding uncertain.

Grover trots inside, looking worried. "Mr. D wants to see the two of you."

"Why?" I ask, peeking through the curtain separating mine and Percy's side of the cabin.

'He wants to kill . . . I mean, I'd better let him tell you."

Nervously, Percy and I get dressed and follow, sure we were in huge trouble.

For days, Percy and I'd been half expecting a summons to the Big House. Now that we were declared children of Poseidon, one of the Big Three gods who weren't supposed to have kids, I figure it's just a crime for us to be alive. The other gods had probably been debating on the best way to punish us for existing, and now Mr. D is ready to deliver their verdict.

Over Long Island Sound, the sky looks like ink soup coming to a boil. A hazy curtain of rain is coming in our direction. I ask Grover if we'd need an umbrella.

"No," Grover says. "It never rains here unless we want it to."

Percy points at the storm, 'What the heck is that, then?"

Grover glances uneasily at the sky. "It'll pass around us. Bad weather always does."

I realize that he's right. In the week I'd been here, it had never even been overcast. The few rain clouds I'd seen had skirted right around the edges of the valley.

But this storm . . .

This one's huge.

At the volleyball pit, the kids from Apollo's cabin are playing a morning game against the satyrs. Dionysius's twins - Castor and Pollux - are walking around in the strawberry fields, making the plants grow. Everyone is going about their normal business, but they look tense; they keep their eyes on the storm.

Grover, Percy, and I walk up the front porch of the Big House. Dionysus sits at the pinochle table in his tiger-striped Hawaiian shirt with his Diet Coke, just as he had on my first day. Chiron sits across the table in his fake wheelchair. They are playing against invisible opponents - two sets of cards hovering in the air.

"Well, well," Mr. D says without looking up. "Our little celebrities."

I wait.

"Come closer," Mr. D says. "And don't expect me to kowtow to you, mortals, just because old Barnacle-Beard is your father."

A net of lightning flashes across the clouds; thunder shakes the windows of the house.

"Blah, blah, blah," Dionysus grumbles.

Chiron faints interest in his pinochle cards and Grover cowers by the railing, his hooves clopping back and forth.

"If I had my way," Dionysus says, "I would cause your molecules to erupt in flames. We'd sweep up the ashes and be done with a lot of trouble. But Chiron seems to feel this would be against my mission at this cursed camp: to keep you little brats safe from harm."

"Spontaneous combustion is a form of harm, Mr. D," Chiron puts in.

"Nonsense," Dionysus says. "Boy wouldn't feel a thing. Nevertheless, I've agreed to restrain myself. I'm thinking of turning you into a dolphin instead, sending you back to your father."

"Mr. D - " Chiron warns.

"Oh, all right," Dionysus relents. "There's one more option. But it's deadly foolishness." Dionysus rises, and the invisible players' cards drop onto the table. "I'm off to Olympus for the emergency meeting. If the boy is still here when I get back, I'll turn him into an Atlantic bottlenose. Do you understand? And Perseus Jackson, if you're at all smart, you'll see that's a much more sensible choice than what Chiron feels you two must do."

Dionysus picks up a playing card, twists it, and it becomes a plastic rectangle. A security pass. He snaps his fingers. The air seems to fold and bend around him. He becomes a hologram, a wind, then he is gone, leaving only the smell of fresh-pressed grapes lingering behind.

Chiron smiles at me and Percy, but he looks tired and strained. "Sit, Percy,(Y/n), please. And Grover."

We do.

Chiron lays his cards on the table, a winning hand he hadn't gotten to use.

"Tell me, (Y/n)," he says. "What did you make of the hellhound?"

Just hearing the name makes me shudder.

Chiron probably wants me to say, Heck, it was nothing. I eat hellhounds for breakfast. But I don't feel like lying.

"It scared me," I admit. "If you hadn't shot it, I'd be dead."

"You two will meet worse. Far worse, before you're done."

"Done?" Percy asks. "With what?"

"You're quest, of course," Chiron says. "Will you accept it?"

I glance at Grover, who is crossing his fingers.

"Sir," I say, "you haven't told us what it is yet."

Chiron grimaces. "Well, that's the hard part, the details."

Thunder rumbles across the valley. The storm clouds had now reached the edge of the beach. As far as I can see, the sky and the sea were boiling together.

"Poseidon and Zeus," I guess. "They're fighting over something valuable . . . something that was stolen, aren't they?"

Chiron and Grover exchange looks.

Chiron shoots forward in his wheelchair. "How did you know that?"

"The weather since Christmas has been weird, like the sea and the sky are fighting. Then I talked to Annabeth, and she'd overheard something about a theft. And...I've also been having these dreams."

"I knew it," Grover says, his eyes bright.

"Hush, satyr," Chiron orders.

"But it is his quest!" Grover's eyes sparkle with excitement. "It must be!"

"Only the Oracle can determine," Chiron strokes his bristly beard. "Nevertheless, (Y/n), you are correct. Your father and Zeus are having their worst quarrel in centuries. They are fighting over something valuable that was stolen. To be precise: a lightning bolt."

Percy laughs, looking nervous, "A what?"

"Do not take this lightly," Chiron warns. "I'm not talking about some tinfoil-covered zigzag you'd see in a second-grade play. I'm talking about a two-foot-long cylinder of high-grade celestial bronze, capped on both ends with god-level explosives."

"Oh."

"Zeus's master bolt," Chiron says, getting worked up now. "The symbol of his power, from which all other lightning bolts are patterned. The first weapon made by the Cyclopes for the war against the Titans, the bolt that sheered the top off Mount Etna and hurled Kronos from his throne; the master bolt, which packs enough power to make mortal hydrogen bombs look like firecrackers."

"And it's missing?" I guess.

"Stolen," Chiron corrects.

"By whom?" I ask though I guessed what he was going to say.

"By you two," Chiron says and Percy's jaw drops.

"At least"—Chiron holds up a hand—"that's what Zeus thinks. During the winter solstice, at the last council of the gods, Zeus and Poseidon argued. The usual nonsense: 'Mother Rhea always liked you best,' 'Air disasters are more spectacular than sea disasters,' et cetera. Afterward, Zeus realized his master bolt was missing, taken from the throne room under his very nose. He immediately blamed Poseidon. Now, a god cannot usurp another god's symbol of power directly—that is forbidden by the most ancient of divine laws. But Zeus believes your father convinced a human hero to take it."

"But I didn't - We didn't -" Percy goes to say.

"Patience and listen, child," Chiron says. "Zeus has good reason to be suspicious. The forges of the Cyclopes are under the ocean, which gives Poseidon some influence over the makers of his brother's lightning. Zeus believes Poseidon has taken the master bolt and is now secretly having the Cyclopes build an arsenal of illegal copies, which might be used to topple Zeus from his throne. The only thing Zeus wasn't sure about was which hero Poseidon used to steal the bolt. Now Poseidon has openly claimed you two as his children. You were in New York over the winter holidays. You could easily have snuck into Olympus. Zeus believes he has found his thief.

"But we've never even been to Olympus! Zeus is crazy!"

Chiron and Grover glance nervously at the sky. The clouds don't seem to be parting around us, as Grover had promised. They are rolling straight over the valley, sealing us in like a coffin lid.

"Er, Percy . . . ?" Grover says. "We don't use the c-word to describe the Lord of the Sky."

"Perhaps paranoid," Chiron suggests. "Then again, Poseidon has tried to unseat Zeus before. I believe that was question thirty-eight on your final exam...." He looked at Percy.

"The Golden Net?" I guess again. "Poseidon and Hera and a few other gods trapped Zeus in it and wouldn't let him out until he promised to be a better ruler?"

"Correct," Chiron says. "And Zeus has never trusted Poseidon since. Of course, Poseidon denies stealing the master bolt. He took great offense at the accusation. The two have been arguing back and forth for months, threatening war. And now, you two have come along—the proverbial last straw."

"But we're just kids!" Percy protests.

"Percy," Grover cuts in, "if you were Zeus, and you already thought your brother was plotting to overthrow you, then your brother suddenly admitted he had broken the sacred oath he took after World War II, and that he's father, not one, but two mortal heroes who might be used as a weapon against you . . . Wouldn't that put a twist in your toga?"

"But I - we didn't do anything, Poseidon - our dad - he didn't really have this master bolt stolen, did he?" Percy asks, and I remain silent in thought.

Chiron sighs. "Most thinking observers would agree that thievery is not Poseidon's style. But the Sea God is too proud to try convincing Zeus of that. Zeus has demanded that Poseidon return the bolt by the summer solstice. That's June twenty-first, ten days from now. Poseidon wants an apology for being called a thief by the same date. I hoped that diplomacy might prevail, that Hera or Demeter or Hestia would make the two brothers see sense. But your arrival has inflamed Zeus's temper. Now neither god will back down. Unless someone intervenes, unless the master bolt is found and returned to Zeus before the solstice, there will be war. And do you know what a fullfledged war would look like, Percy? (Y/n)?"

"Bad?" Percy guesses.

"I'd guess that it would be like nature at war with itself," I say and Chiron nods.

"Olympians forced to choose sides between Zeus and Poseidon. Destruction. Carnage. Millions dead. Western civilization turned into a battleground so big it will make the Trojan War look like a water-balloon fight," Chiron adds to (Y/n)'s statement.

"Bad," Percy repeats.

"And you, Percy and (Y/n) Jackson, would be the first to feel Zeus's wrath."

And then, it starts to rain. Volleyball players stop their game and start in stunned silence at the sky.

We had brought this storm to Half-Blood Hill. Zeus was punishing the whole camp because of us.

"So we have to find that bolt," I say. "And return it to Zeus."

"What better peace offering," Chiron says, "than to have the son and daughter of Poseidon return Zeus's property.

"If Poseidon doesn't have it, where is the thing?" Percy asks.

"I believe I know." Chiron's expression is grim. "Part of a prophecy I had years ago...well, some of the lines make sense to me, now. But before I can say more, you must officially take up the quest. You must seek the counsel of the Oracle."

"Why can't you tell us where the bolt is beforehand?" Percy asks.

"Because if I did, you would be too afraid to accept the challenge."

I swallow thickly. "Good reason."

"You agree then?" Chiron asks.

I exchange a glance with Percy, then Grover, who nods encouragingly.

Easy for him, I think. We're the ones Zeus wants to kill.

"All right," Percy says. "It's better than being turned into a dolphin."

"Then it's time you consulted the Oracle," Chiron says. "Go upstairs, Percy and (Y/n) Jackson, to the attic. When you come back down, assuming you're still sane, we will talk more."

. . .

"Well?" Chiron asks us.

We slump into our chairs at the pinochle table. "She said we would retrieve what was stolen.

Grover sits forward, chewing excitedly on the remains of a Diet Coke can. "That's great!

"What did the Oracle say exactly?" Chiron presses. "This is important."

My ears are still tingling from the reptilian voice. "She said we would go west and face a god who had turned. We would retrieve what was stolen and see it safely returned."

"I knew it," Grover says.

Chiron doesn't look satisfied. "Anything else?"

"No," Percy says. "That's about it."

He studies Percy's face, then meets my green gaze. "Very well. But know this: the Oracle's words often have double meanings. Don't dwell on them too much. The truth is not always clear until events come to pass."

I get the feeling he knows we're holding something back, and he's trying to make us feel better.

"Okay," Percy says, looking anxious to change topics. "So where do we go? Who's this god in the west?"

"Ah, think, Percy," Chiron says."if Zeus and Poseidon weaken each other in a war, who stands to gain."

"Someone else who wants to take over?" I guess.

"Yes, quite. Someone who harbors a grudge, who has been unhappy with his lot since the world was divided eons ago, whose kingdom would grow powerful with the deaths of millions. Someone who hates his brothers for forcing him into an oath to have no more children, an oath that both of them have now broken."

"Hades," I say, raising an eyebrow.

Chiron nods. "The Lord of the Dead is the only possibility."

A scrap of aluminum dribbles out of Grover's mouth. "Whoa, wait. Wh - what?"

"A Fury came after Percy," Chiron reminds him. "She watched the young man until she was sure of his identity, then tried to kill him. Furies obey only one lord: Hades."

"Yes, but - but Hades hates all heroes," Grover protests. "Especially if he has found out Percy and (Y/n) are children of Poseidon . . ."

"A hellhound got into the forest," Chiron continues. "Those can only be summoned from the Fields of Punishment, and it had to be summoned by someone within the camp. Hades must have a spy here. He must suspect Poseidon will try to use Percy and (Y/n) to clear his name. Hades would very much like to kill these young half-bloods before he can take on the quest."

"Great," I mutter. "That's two major gods who want to kill us."

"But a quest to . . ." Grover swallows. "I mean, couldn't the master bolt be in someplace like Maine? Maine's very nice this time of year."

"Hades sent a minion to steal the master bolt," Chiron insisted. "He hid it in the Underworld, knowing full well that Zeus would blame Poseidon. I don't pretend to understand the Lord of the Dead's motives perfectly, or why he chose this time to start a war, but one thing is certain. Percy and (Y/n) must go to the Underworld, find the master bolt, and reveal the truth."

A strange fire burns in my stomach. The weirdest thing is, it isn't fear. It's anticipation. The desire for revenger. Hades had tried to kill me two times so far with the Minotaur, and the hellhound. It is his fault my mother had disappeared in a flash of light. Now he is trying to frame me, my dad, and my brother for a theft we hadn't committed.

Grover is trembling now; he'd started eating pinochle cards like potato chips.

The poor guy had to complete a quest with me and Percy so he could get his searcher's license, whatever that is, but how can I ask him to do this quest, especially when the Oracle said we were destined to fail?" This is a suicide mission.

"Look, if we know it's Hades," Percy tells Chiron, "why can't we just tell the other gods? Zeus and Poseidon could go down to the Underworld and bust some heads."

"Suspecting and knowing are not the same," Chiron says. "Besides, even if the other gods suspect Hades—and I imagine Poseidon does—they couldn't retrieve the bolt themselves. Gods cannot cross each other's territories except by invitation. That is another ancient rule. Heroes, on the other hand, have certain privileges. They can go anywhere, challenge anyone, as long as they're bold enough and strong enough to do it. No god can be held responsible for a hero's actions. Why do you think the gods always operate through humans?"

"You're saying I'm being used," Percy says.

"I'm saying it's no accident Poseidon had claimed you and (Y/n) now. It's a very risky gamble, but he's in a desperate situation. He needs the two of you."

My dad needs us.

Emotions roll around inside me like bits of glass in a kaleidoscope. I don't know whether to feel resentful or grateful or happy or angry. Poseidon had ignored me for twelve years. Now suddenly he needed me.

3rd Person POV

Percy looks at Chiron. "You've known I was Poseidon's son all along, haven't you?"

"I had my suspicions. As I said . . . I've spoken to the Oracle, too."

(Y/n) gets the feeling that there is a lot he wasn't telling them about the prophecy, but she decides that she couldn't worry about that at the moment. After all, she and Percy were hiding back information too."

"So let me get this straight," Percy says. "We're supposed to go to the Underworld and confront the Lord of the Dead."

"Check," Chiron says.

"Find the most powerful weapon in the universe."

"Check."

"And get it back to Olympus before the summer solstice, in ten days."

"That's about right."

(Y/n) looks over at Grover, who gulps down the ace of hearts.

"But I mention that Maine is very nice this time of year?" he asks weakly.

"You don't have to go," Percy tells him. "I can't ask that of you."

"Oh . . ." He shifts his hooves. "No . . . it's just that satyrs and underground places . . . well . . ." He takes a deep breath, then stands, brushing the shredded cards and aluminum bits off his t-shirts. "You saved my life, (Y/n), Percy. If . . . if you're serious about wanting me along, I won't let the two of you down."

Percy feels so relieved that he wanted to cry, though he didn't think that would be very heroic. Grover is the only friend she'd ever had for longer than a few months. Percy isn't sure what a satyr can do against the forces of the dead but he feels better knowing he'd be with them.

"All the way, G-man," Percy turns to Chiron. "The Oracle just said to go west."

"The entrance to the Underworld is always in the west. It moves from age to age, just like Olympus. Right now, of course, it's in America."

"Where?"

Chiron looks surprised. "I thought that would be obvious enough. The entrance to the Underworld is in Los Angeles."

Percy's POV

"Oh," I said. "Naturally. So we just get on a plane -"

"No!" Grover shrieks. "Percy, what are you thinking? Have you ever been on a plane in your life?"

I shake my head, feeling embarrassed. My mom had never taken me and (Y/n) anywhere by plane. She'd always said we didn't have the money. Besides, her parents had died in a plane crash.

"Percy, think," Chiron says. "You are the son of the Sea God. Your father's bitterest rival is Zeus, Lord of the Sky. Your mother knew better than to trust you in an airplane. You would be in Zeus's domain. You would never come down again alive."

Overhead, lightning crackles and thunder booms.

"Okay," (Y/n) says, not looking up at the storm. "So, we'll travel overland."

"That's right," Chiron says. "Two companions may accompany you. Grover is one. The other has already volunteered if you will accept her help."

(Y/n)'s POV

"Gee," I say, feigning surprise. "Who else would be stupid enough to volunteer for a suicide quest like this?"

The air shimmers behind Chiron.

Annabeth Chase becomes visible, stuffing her Yankees cap into her back pocket.

"I've been waiting a long time for a quest, Seaweed Brain," she says. "Athena is no fan of Poseidon, but if you're going to save the world, I'm the best person to keep you from messing up."

"If you do say so yourself," I say. "I suppose you have a plan, wise girl?"

Her cheeks flush. "Do you want my help or not?"

The truth is, I do. I need all the help I can get.

"A quartet," I say. "That'll work."

"Excellent," Chiron says. "This afternoon, we can take you as far as the bus terminal in Manhattan. After that, you are on your own."

Lightning flashes. Rain pours down on the meadows that were never supposed to have violent weather.

"No time to waste," Chiron says. "I think you should all get packing."

Word Count: 4018 words

I'm thinking of reading Kencyrath, but I'm not sure whether i'll like it. What do you like about the series? Who would you recommend it for?

OKAY SO, first, the people I would recommend it to:

Anyone who read or watched more than half a book/four episodes of Game of Thrones--the Kencyrath has a similar list of trigger warnings, but commits much harder to the fantasy angle, and in my opinion deals more directly with the ethical problems raised by those trigger warnings

People who like those posts picking apart the minutiae of how high fantasy worlds work--the Kencyrath is one of the only series I’m familiar with that answers the question of “okay great you have a warrior race, so how does that actually work” with “it kind of doesn’t, everyone is starving half the time because we’re all warriors and our land can barely grow food, so if our mercenaries don’t get paid, we don’t eat”

People who like a mix of “low fantasy” moral questions (the first book is kind of like...hm, Lies of Locke Lamora?) with classic “high fantasy” political machinations and battles of good vs evil and such--the Kencyrath HAVE a grand sweeping destiny more or less on their doorstep, but they’ve sort of fallen down on the job about it

People who like books that deal with trauma recovery--Jame, the main character, spends most of her time trying to drag herself (and, ideally, her brother, cousin, and entire race) out of the cycle of abuse that they’ve all lived through, and every character has, to some extent, a trauma that shapes their actions one way or another

People who don’t mind a big cast as long as there are a couple main characters to focus on--the Kencyrath ends up being a pretty expansive cast, with a lot of schemes running at any given time, but it always revolves around Jame and her twin brother Tori

People who like complex societal worldbuilding and Loyalty Stuff--the Kendar/Highborn dynamic (warrior class/ruling class) is so wonderfully messed up and I love how seriously the books take both the advantages and massive pitfalls of that kind of society

People who listened to TAZ Balance and thought that the Hunger was really cool and terrifying and wanted a whole book series about the sequence where the world is fighting it

Anyone who ever read a standard high fantasy book with a Rambunctious Young Lady as the lead and went “this is fine, but if you’re going to spend 250 pages telling me that this girl is wild and uncontrollable, I would like to see her go completely feral, please”--Jame’s brain plays Yakety Sax 24/7 and you can TELL, so if you ever wanted a book where the Unladylike Lead Character goes genuinely apeshit, but also learns how to make friends and respect the value of traditionally feminine work even if it’s not for her

People I would recommend NOT read the Kencyrath:

Anyone who knows they are triggered by written discussion of assault, abuse, sexism, coercion, torture, flashbacks, racism, murder, or basically any other major trigger warning--I personally think the books deal with things pretty well, and they’re never grimdark, but they deal with a lot of incredibly heavy material, including child abuse, sexual assault, coercion, and torture.  If you know you have a major trigger that really messes you up when you read about it, please exercise caution and feel free to contact me for more details.  Also, if you have a specific trigger and want a different book recommendation, I have them on tap.  

Anyone who struggles to read or connect with “problematic” characters--pretty much every character in this series will EVENTUALLY do something you don’t like, including Jame.  The books go very hard on “who you are is defined by how you handle making an irreparable mistake,” so be prepared for that.  If this is your hard stop but everything else is fine, I would recommend the Imperial Radch series by Ann Leckie (spaceships and war crimes and found family), or something by Robin McKinley (mostly fantasy), especially the Damar books or Sunshine!

Anyone for whom incest between twins is a hard stop--the primary romantic relationship is Jame/Tori, and while I would consider it easily the healthiest relationship in the series, that’s the ship and you should be aware of it.  If this is your hard stop but everything else is fine, I would recommend the Captive Prince series by CS Pacat (political scheming and romance) or the Winternight trilogy by Katherine Arden (fairy tale fantasy)!

The stuff I like about the series:

Jame.  I love that she’s allowed to be completely unhinged.  I love that she faces consequences for her actions.  I love her determination to slit reality open and lay it all out like a scientist in her search for the truth.  I love her willingness to face unpleasant realities, and I love the times when she can’t bear them and has to figure out how to deal.  I love every second she spends trying to figure out how honor works, and whether it’s even possible for a Highborn to be honorable, and how she can save her people without sacrificing who she is.  I love to watch people pick a fight with her and immediately learn the error of her ways.

Tori.  I know I pick on him a lot, and he deserves to be picked on, but Tori is really one of my favorite characters.  He struggles a lot more than Jame to move past their father’s abuse, and he makes a lot of genuinely harmful choices in the depths of that struggle, but I love watching the times where he wins.  It makes me frustrated beyond words when he caves to what he was taught, but I’m always elated when he can push past that and reveal the deeply loyal, sincerely honorable, incredibly good person that he became in spite of their father.  He’s a good leader, despite everyone’s best efforts, and I love to see him fight for his people.  Love to see him consider HIMSELF one of “his people” someday.

Kindrie.  I won’t say too much about him, except that I didn’t actually like him that much when I first read the books, for basically the exact reasons Jame didn’t like him much at first--he’s someone doing trauma recovery in the exact opposite way that I was comfortable with.  But god I love him so much, he is doing his best and his best is so much better than anyone would expect, from his past.  Truly the best boy in the Kencyrath, wise beyond his years and just insane enough to get into the disasters where he’s most needed.

The Kendar.  Instead of making this post 4k with individual bullet points about every Kendar I love, here is a brief litany.  I love Marc because he’s the only stable person in the Kencyrath.  I love Brier because she’s doing her best and it would be okay if everyone (including her) admitted that she doesn’t always know what that actually means.  I love Burr and Rue because their rabid determination to turn Tori and Jame (Confirmed Feral Cats) into real nobility will never NOT be funny to me.  I love Sheth Sharp-tongue because he’s the only person with his shit so together that not even Jame can ruffle him.  I love the Randir Kendar who didn’t move, at the start of Bound in Blood.  The Kendar are the most nuanced take on the concept of an eternally loyal warrior caste I’ve ever seen and I love them.

The Villains.  I believe I have established that I love a nuanced villain.  The Master is a pretty straight up and down villain figure, the voice of the darkness, John Hunger or Saruman or whatever else you might like to compare him to, but no one else is that simple.  I love the Dreamweaver, who didn’t know what she was doing and paid for it anyway.  I love Tyrandis, who knew what he was doing and did it and spent his eternity trying to fix it without breaking a single rule.  I do NOT love Caldane, but he’s a kind of viscerally real, slimy evil that is exceptionally well executed.  Likewise, I would like Rawneth to die, painfully, in short order, but godDAMN watching her chessboard unfold over the course of the books is hypnotic. The villains in this are GOOD, folks, and I like them.

I really need to wrap this up, so my last pick for what I like is Overpowered Characters.  I complain a lot about media that panics over powerful characters, and responds by taking that power away, or having unstable worldbuilding that means the character is weak when the narrative demands it.  The Kencyrath doesn’t do that.  Jame is bonkers powerful from day one, and pretty much maintains that level through the series.  Instead of focusing on characters building their power, like leveling in DnD, the Kencyrath focuses on the question of using power.  Jame’s power in the first book is terrifying not just because she’s insanely strong, but because she has no idea how to use it.  Likewise, Tori is determined pretty quickly to be at the same level that she is, but he’s in such deep denial that he’s as likely to kill himself as do anything useful.  It’s just very SATISFYING, okay, to have a series actually do interesting things with OP characters.  Sure, in a weird way Jame seems less like a magical nuke in book 8 than in book 1, but it’s because she’s not just throwing power around like someone playing darts blindfolded.  And watching her figure out how to harness her power into something useful is so gratifying.

give me back my glitter, monomi!!!

hi mods, i hope things are doing well for all of you.. i don't usually do things like this, but I'm desperate, i guess. i don't really have anyone to go to. i DO have online friends, but they're already busy with their own problems and i don't want to make it worse.

since lockdown and online school started, my executive dysfunction is getting worse. i keep submit my assignments past due date. it's so hard for me to start working for some reason... especially past the due dates. i usually had my energy and motivation in this kind of stuff after some time recovering (even though it took months...), but after almost a year, i just can't seem to grasp that energy and motivation anymore. the feeling of overwhelm and fear keeps holding me back.

my parents don't help either. they keep me up until 12 or 1 am almost every nights doing extra chores. I'm more focused at nights, so i feel exhausted and passed out the whole day most of the time. if i tell them i have assignments to do, no matter how important it is, they would get angry and threaten to punish me by taking my devices away (which is not good bc i need them for school).

i did ask for help in a server i used to be in, they said sleeping, showering, and taking walks would help. but I'm not allowed to go outside, and if I *do* sleep, I don't have much time for assignments except for chores given by my parents. showering and pacing around my room wont help either. and if i DO get time to do my assignments, i would be scared and doubting to do it and find myself staring blankly at the wall for a long time.

i can't even do my own hobbies like drawing and reading novels because i keep worrying about my assignments!!!! but like i said before.. it's so hard to start working and stay focused. i tried so hard, but i keep blanking out.. and my hands refused to work. i swear, i really tried and i HATE being not able to work like any other normal students.

I'm scared for my future. my grades decide for my future and my family depend on it. I'm very close on graduating highschool. I'm the oldest child of two, yet I'm not showing a good example infront of my younger brother (who is 7 btw). I swear I'm trying to be a better person, not just for my family but also for myself.... I want to work hard, I want to be a good student like I used to be but I find it very difficult. I feel so alone.

that's all i could remember in my mind. thinking about it in more details make me feel horrible. i wouldn't ask for advices because i doubt they could help me anymore (although the efforts would be appreciated), but may i ask for encouragement from komaeda, rantaro and/or taichi fujisaki? (if all three can't make it, then I'll ask for taichi only instead if that's no trouble) i keep feeling about giving up and i don't want that. maybe a little push? my English isnt my main language, i hope i make sense. thaank you and have a nice day!

H-Holy moly with a side of macaroni, kiddo. That’s a huge plateful right there; you truly have been going through a lot, huh? Don’t worry about your English, by the way; for it not being your main language, you did a great job! Phew, for a moment there, I was almost ready to program some advice. Heh, see what I did there, kiddo? A-Anyway, I’m just glad you spoke up about just wanting some encouragement and a bit of a push instead. I hope a average programmer like myself can do just that.

Kiddo, I acknowledge that things are really rough for you right now. I-It probably feels like you’re up against this huge computer virus that you can’t seem to destroy or shake off. O-Okay, that was sort of a bad, bias metaphor, so I’ll say something else. It... I-It probably feels like despair; despair that might feel too overwhelming for you. But while I may know more about programming than anything else first, I do know something else that isn’t related to programming, and that is: You can and will get through this. I-I believe in the power of hope, and you should, too! I have hope in you, kiddo, and I mean that. I have hope that you’ll be able to fix your academic issues; hope that you’ll continue to work hard and better yourself as a individual; hope that you’ll succeed and show others just how talented you truly are. Of course, I know you didn’t ask for advice, b-but just keep in mind that if you ever need to confide in someone, please confide in someone. Don’t hold it all in. Whether it be me, someone else on this blog, or someone else entirely in your life, just try not to bottle it all up, o-okay?

I see a bright, hopeful future for you, kiddo. I-I’m serious! I’m more serious than when I finished my most recent programming project last minute, and that project was... a rather important, huge one. L-Like I said, things are rough right now, but that doesn’t determine your future. As long as you try your best, th-then what more can anyone ask for? I-I only ask for the best from my child, and so, the same goes for you, too, kiddo. J-Just do your best to stay on the side of hope, and keep your head held up high. I’ll even help you with gaining some hope of your own, if you want.

I-I know you didn’t ask for one, but if hugs count as giving you a little push, then mind if I give you one, kiddo? Y-You deserve it for having to deal with this much despair and fighting back against it. I hope some of this made you feel better and gave you what you wanted. I’ll be on my computer if I’m needed again, kiddo.

-

Hey there anon, don't worry about it. I'm happy to help out. Things are going pretty well for me, thanks for asking, but let's focus on you now. I'm real sorry you're so desperate. Yeah, this whole blog thing is an interesting way to do things, but I'm glad we can be an outlet for you, at least for now. That's a real nice thing for you to do, worrying about your friends like that. Just know that you don't have to keep things like this in. You're not a burden, and you don't have to stay quiet. I can't say I know too much about executive dysfunction, at least at a personal experience level, but I do have a general idea of what it is. Times are freaking crazy. It makes sense that you're relapsing, as crappy as that is. You said that fear is holding you back, and is there something specific that makes you afraid? Maybe exploring that will help you out a little.

Yeah, it doesn't sound like your parents are any help at all! What chore is important enough for you to stay up past midnight? That seems more than a little crazy in my book, and I think that's probably a big thing that's holding you back from getting stuff done. You've obviously heard this before, but sleep is important. With the chores thing and device thing combined, yeah, they're a huge roadblock. Yeah, that is some pretty good general advice you got from the other server, but yeah, I don't think that's gonna be too helpful for your specific situation. Is there any way you could motivate yourself? That's another thing that doesn't help in all situations, but it's something to keep in mind. Hey, you can't help the fact that you don't work like other students, you can't control your feelings all the time, and that's ok. It sounds like you're stuck in a cycle of chores, minimal sleep and stress over assignments, and that would take a toll on anyone. Could you use your hobbies as a way to motivate yourself? Maybe work for five minutes, then read or draw for five minutes?

Hey, you're almost graduating, and I think that's awesome! Even if you're struggling a little now, you've come a long way. Honestly, I don't think you should feel too guilty about not being a good example. Honestly, I don't think you're a bad example at all. The odds are kind of against you, and you got things and people actively making it harder. I can tell how hard you're working, and that's seriously amazing. You've sure as hell earned my respect. I think you're actively fighting to be the person you want to be, and I'm so proud of you for that. You're not alone, that's for sure. I'm no stellar student myself, and I've seen a whole lot of people give up way faster than you have. It's ok, you got your point across, and you don't gotta think about it anymore if you don't want to. Honestly, yeah I don't think I have a whole lot of advice aside for this. I think you wanna talk to teachers, or a counselor, or any other professional who can get you some extra help. There's not a lot I or any non professional can do on our ends, and I think the extra help would really help you out. Yeah, you sure as hell shouldn't give up. You're so close, and you're not as hopeless as you think you are. I can tell you're fighting for this, and I know you can make it all the way through. It might take a little bit of extra work, but I know you're tough and resourceful enough to see this through to the end. You're already a good person, and continuing to want to be better is really impressive. You're an amazing person, and you can handle this ok? Try to have a little faith in yourself. Honestly, your English seems fine to me, I never would have guessed it wasn't your first language. Anyways, I really hope this helped, I wish I could do more for you. You can do this, I know you can. I hope you have a nice day too!

My my Anon, your Luck seems to be all over the place. Truly Despair is trying to sink it’s disgusting claws into your life. Your English was fine Anon. You did a good job if I do say so myself, hehe. I’m glad you were able to calm and talk to us! I may not be the best but I shall try everything in my power to raise your Hope.

For starters, friends are supposed to help each other, it’s what makes you friends after all! If they are uncomfortable with you venting or that’s what you think, try asking them first before doing so, sometimes people aren’t ready to handle emotions like that. This pandemic has done a number on many of people. I’m sorry that it’s been going worse for you. Turning in assignments on time must be hard as well. But in my opinion, turning them in is better than not turning them in at all. Doing your work is also very important. I’m glad that even if you do have little energy, you try to use it to do your work. Trying to get energy to do anything is hard as well. I’d consider that burn out. Sometimes you just need time for your brain to heal, to process things that are happening in your life. I’m sure it’s quite overwhelming, how school has to take extra precautions and be online, or a hybrid class. It must all be very difficult to grasp.

Your parents seem to be a bit...strict? Having you up and doing chores for that long and that late isn’t good for anyone. It seems you tried explaining to them beforehand, but I’d like to see if you could try one more time. If that doesn’t help, maybe talk to a family member to help you out in some way? Maybe they help make your parents listen to you.

Hehe sorry, I’ve just been giving you advice this entire time! My bad, can’t help trying to help people, even if I’m garbage. Anon, I applaud you for coming this far, through all this crap and Despair, you’ve been trying your best to push on! Even through the darkness you’re still trying to be a good student and do your work! I’m so proud of you! I’m glad that you’re trying to take steps to help improve your energy as well, taking care of yourself is very important in any situation, no matter how little energy that you have! Once you graduate you won’t have to worry about this stuff for a while, and maybe things will get easier! I know your brother knows you’re trying your best, he can see it I’m sure! I hope you don’t mind I give you a hug! Hopefully it’ll help take the weight of your shoulders and give you some Hope.

Tess & Bea

Tess: You have to tell me where you are Bea: I'm fine Tess: That isn't what I asked Bea: That's what you need to hear regardless Tess: No, I need to hear a location Tess: but I'll drive round with a screaming baby regardless Bea: Don't waste time guilting me, go home Tess: Come home and I can too Bea: That's not an option Tess: Neither is this Bea: Yes it is Bea: I can say the placement fell apart, they'll have to find a new one, easy Tess: If that's what you want, we can talk about it Bea: Just keep Ro, okay Bea: please Tess: Oh Bea, of course we're keeping her Bea: Good Bea: She doesn't need to leave, she's not done anything Tess: None of this is about your sister, it's about you Tess: and you don't need to leave Tess: Talk to me Bea: I do Bea: I'm not going to stop Bea: I'm sorry but I can't Tess: So you leave, what then? Tess: You know they could send you anywhere Bea: I'll visit Tess: If you say the placement broke down, you don't also get to come round for tea Bea: I meant him Bea: I know I can't come see you all Tess: He'll still live here Tess: If you're gone, you're gone, kid Bea: You can't keep him under house arrest forever Tess: You think I'm letting him out of my sight after this? Bea: Yeah Bea: screaming baby, after-all Tess: I'd say watch me, but you won't be here to see it Bea: I'd say the track record is 1-0 to me Tess: The punishment doesn't really fit my crime, but go ahead Bea: This isn't about punishing you Tess: I am being anyway Tess: but I ain't special, so are you, so is he Bea: We didn't mean to, alright Tess: I know that Bea: There's no point punishing him for it Tess: There's every point in trying to protect him though Tess: especially since I've done such a shit job of it up til now Bea: I'm not a predator Tess: That's not what I'm saying Tess: I can't stop you from going but I can stop him running off after you Bea: Yes you are Tess: No, I'm not Tess: I'm saying I know exactly how he feels about you and what he's willing to do Bea: I'll tell him not to Tess: Yeah, 'cause that'll work Bea: You're either going to protect him or you aren't then Tess: All I can do is try Tess: That ain't always enough, I don't need you or anyone else to tell me Bea: Well then Tess: Are you gonna tell me where you are or am I calling the police out? Bea: Don't be ridiculous Bea: I'm just thinking Tess: Whether you reckon it's ridiculous or not, it's the hoop I have to jump through Tess: I'm still your foster carer for now Bea: If you don't come, I'll tell you Tess: Tell me and I'll decide whether it's safe to leave you there or not Tess: This isn't a game Bea: I'm not an idiot Bea: I wouldn't go anywhere unsafe Tess: Me either, but you've both treated me like a mug Tess: That stops now Bea: It wasn't personal Tess: How do you reckon that? Tess: This affects all of us Bea: We didn't want any of you to know Tess: Well, now I do, and if you leave the others are gonna notice Tess: They'll have questions Bea: That have simple answers Tess: You really want your sister to think that the slightest bad behavior and she's out on her ear too? 'Cause that's how it'll look Bea: It isn't slight bad behaviour, I've not stolen a fiver out your purse Bea: I'm not a child Bea: and she's unlikely to repeat the offense so I think we're fine Tess: Oh so you want me to tell her the truth, warts and all, yeah? Tess: Put it in your file for the next person and everything, like Bea: I don't care, do what you have to Bea: I told you, I'm not going to stop seeing him Tess: You may not care about yourself but I care about you Tess: Jesus Bea: I know and I care about you, believe it or not Bea: that's why I'm fixing this Tess: It's not a fix Tess: If you leave here fuck knows where they'll put you, who with Bea: I'll be fine Bea: I'm sure I've handled worse Tess: You don't know that Tess: and what about him? I'll carry the guilt and responsibility of it, I know I can handle it, but don't tell me you want that for Fraze Bea: Don't Tess: I don't need to tell you what he's like Tess: How much it'd hurt him if anything happens to you, he's already in bits that you legged it Tess: You need to think carefully about what you want your next move to be Bea: I'll talk to him Tess: Come home, he's waiting for you Bea: I don't want to talk to you yet okay Tess: I'm not gonna block the door unless you do Tess: You can come back Bea: Alright Tess: He don't wanna talk to me either but I'll let him stay too Bea: It's just Bea: we don't need to ever do we Tess: I reckon we do, kid Tess: but it doesn't have to be tonight Bea: We'll see Tess: Listen, if I'd had the option at your age, shit might have worked out different for me Tess: I'm not saying I need every detail, believe me I don't, but shutting me out ain't the way either of you are gonna get what you want Bea: We know what we're doing, don't worry Tess: That doesn't make me feel better Tess: and it's not just about that Bea: I'm just saying Tess: Me too Bea: I'm not gonna make you a grandma Bea: get real Tess: I know you won't, all the time I've spent having chats with him to make sure that won't happen Bea: Ugh Tess: Not a barrel of laughs for any of us Bea: You know they teach us all that in reception now, yeah? Tess: I know that this is the last baby I'm raising Tess: and that I didn't push these kids outta me for someone else to raise 'em Bea: Should've given Fearghal the talk Tess: I've given him plenty Bea: Maybe yourself, then Tess: I give it out, don't mean I take it Bea: Hmm Tess: Anyway, I wanted every one of 'em Tess: You included Bea: It's alright, he won't remember any of this Bea: 3-4 earliest, you can say what you like 'til then Tess: I'll say what I like then too Tess: You know me Bea: Of course Tess: So, where are you? Tess: 'cause I'm gonna keep asking Bea: I was on a bus Bea: now I'm waiting for one back Tess: I'll come get you Tess: in silence Tess: at least from me, can't speak for the baby Bea: Can I get in the back or is it the boot only Tess: I was thinking roof rack Bea: ha ha Tess: Career in stand up after maternity leave is a maybe Tess: fair enough Bea: Wouldn't run up any credit banking on it Tess: Those days are over, kid Tess: I don't owe anyone anything Bea: Leave that out of your routine Bea: not very relatable Tess: Depends on your audience Bea: Aiming for royal variety as your first gig is even more ambitious Tess: Gotta aim high Tess: Be an even shitter role model otherwise Bea: Shut up Tess: You've got jokes too, yeah? Tess: Trying to tell me what to do is bound to get a few laughs Bea: Know your audience Tess: ha ha ha Bea: Alright, not coming for your gig Tess: Good to know, like Tess: I need the cash more than you Bea: How'd you work that one out Tess: Many mouths to feed under my roof Tess: including yours Bea: Which you're currently managing to do Bea: I've got none Tess: Well, I would've paid you for babysitting if you'd got eyes for anyone but each other Bea: ha ad infinitum Tess: That one ain't a joke, trust me Tess: I trusted you both with my kid Bea: And he is and was fine Tess: You really gonna take credit for that, are you? Bea: We wouldn't let anything happen to him Tess: It isn't always a choice Tess: and you've already made it clear what your priorities were and are Bea: He was asleep Tess: If you're reckoning that gets you off the hook you're speaking to the wrong person Bea: I'm saying, he was fine Bea: you don't watch him sleep Tess: and I'm saying there's plenty of other teenagers I could've paid not to give a fuck Bea: and I'm saying we do Bea: didn't leave him outside or forget to feed him Tess: Yeah 'cause that's the benchmark here Tess: don't take the piss Bea: Jesus Tess: Be as angry as you want, I'm livid Bea: Not waiting for permission Bea: just this bus Tess: I saw that for myself Tess: He's not allowed no girls in when I'm not, it's not different rules for you Bea: If you wanna make that your cross to bear Tess: I'd love to not have to Bea: Then don't Tess: Look what happens when I take any steps back Tess: Great idea, cheers Bea: This would've happened regardless of how much of a helicopter mum you want to be Bea: It's got nothing to do with you, I keep saying Tess: The consequences have got everything to do with me, whatever happens Tess: I'm responsible for him and you Bea: It's not like I have a social worker Bea: and it's not like it's illegal Bea: or anyone else knows Tess: 'Cause I'm it, I'm meant to do it all for you Tess: that's what parenting is Tess: I'm not bothered about things blowing up in your face that way Tess: what happens when you two don't wanna be together anymore, you'll have to leave or live with it Bea: I know Bea: we've done that before, remember Tess: It'll be harder this time Bea: We can handle it Tess: You can't speak for him Tess: He's not as strong as he lets on, you know that Bea: Well it's happened Bea: It can't be taken back Tess: No shit Bea: So he'll have to Bea: You can't do anything about it Tess: I can pick up the pieces, I'll have to Bea: That's what parenting is Tess: Yeah Bea: Are you telling me I can't date your son? Tess: I'm not that stupid Bea: Then what Tess: It's too late to prepare you for what this is gonna be like, but I have to try Bea: We're the only ones who know what it's like Tess: That ain't gonna stop everyone else having an opinion Bea: I've got about as much interest in them as I usually do Tess: He cares if you don't Tess: and he'll care more living that bullshit day in and day out Bea: then he can dump me Bea: I'm not forcing him to do anything Bea: I don't know why you think that I am Bea: he isn't a baby Tess: It ain't that simple Tess: wanting something doesn't make it easy Tess: and not caring don't mean people can't make it harder, they still can Bea: What is anyone going to do Bea: You can't even do shit Bea: end of Tess: You'll find out if you're determined to Bea: I've told you I'm not stopping Tess: and I've warned you Tess: like you said, end of then Bea: Yep Tess: Do you want that to be your last word before you get in this car? Bea: Do you want an apology? Bea: If so you'll have to be more specific because I'm not apologizing for parts I'm not sorry for Tess: You don't reckon you've got anything to be sorry for Tess: Why would I want an apology you don't mean? Bea: I didn't say that Tess: As good as Bea: I don't want to leave for my benefit Tess: It wouldn't be for any of ours Tess: Not mine, not his and not your sister's Bea: If I wasn't in your care, you wouldn't get any repercussions, any judgment, or any of those opinions you're talking about Tess: I can handle 'em, I already have done long before you moved in Tess: I'm trying to warn you 'cause nobody did me, there's not much they can say I haven't heard Bea: So can I Bea: Words don't do shit to me Tess: If it's only words I'll stop worrying Bea: If anyone calls the social what can they do Bea: you say you discourage it, don't leave us alone, whatever Bea: they've got bigger fish to fry Tess: I don't know what they'll do, that's the point Bea: Nothing Bea: Even if they did take me away, so what, I already said I'll go Tess: None of us want you to, that's what Tess: fuck's sake Bea: So we'll hide it and lie and no one outside the family needs to know Tess: that'll look worse when it comes out Tess: I don't want another kid taken off me, alright Bea: What can I do Tess: You could've come to me, but like you said, it's happened now Bea: No I couldn't Bea: You think you could've talked me out of it Bea: Him, maybe Bea: but you're years too late Tess: I told you, I'm not that stupid Tess: I know what it feels like to not give a fuck about anything but the one person everyone is telling you that you shouldn't Tess: and what the consequences feel like Tess: when those people are right and when they are wrong too Tess: one lad broke my heart and the other never has Bea: That's life, right? Bea: You can't protect them from it, though being a mum is wanting to, I'm sure Tess: Mine, yeah, don't follow in my footsteps any of you Bea: Not my plan Bea: but you've done alright Tess: Good Tess: now maybe Bea: Ask any therapist, your childhood ain't your fault Bea: unless you wanna go there Tess: I ain't been a child for a long time, there's no excuse for me there Bea: You were then Tess: I weren't allowed to be then Tess: that was the problem Tess: So I tried to be an adult, and unsurprisingly fucked that up Tess: Still am and still do Bea: I know what you're trying to say Bea: but it ain't an option for me either Bea: ain't your fault Bea: but it's how it is Tess: I'm trying to say I don't just love Fraze, it's you too Tess: Everything I want for him, I want for you Tess: end of story Bea: This doesn't mean we can't get what we want, and what you want for us Bea: I swear Tess: I wanna believe that, but I'm as far from a 13 year old kid as you can get Bea: Wait and see then Tess: That's all I can do Tess: what you can do is take this kid far away from me while I have a cig and not say a word about it when we get back Bea: Alright Bea: even hold my tongue on how you trust me with your precious youngest now Tess: Keep him where I can see him, like Bea: Within eyeline but away from the second-hand poison, gotcha Tess: It ain't personal, it's just that he's my last go at this Tess: to not entirely fuck up from day 1 Bea: Thank God for the silence rule so I don't have to hear any more of this Tess: I can break it as easy as I made it if you're gonna be that gutted Bea: You're clearly gonna Tess: Leave your reverse psychology outside the car Bea: Only if you leave the woe is me bit Bea: who are you fooling Tess: I want your sympathy as much as I want any of this Tess: It's how it is Tess: You've had what, 6 years, to see for yourself Bea: Then leave it out Bea: like you're not on your way to a sainting Tess: I'm not that close to death, cheers Bea: That you know of Tess: killing me so you can run away with my son is plan B then? Good one Bea: Nope but if you have an aneurysm at the wheel we're all goners Tess: don't flatter yourself that you've made me that angry Tess: the baby did a number on my hormones not you, kid Bea: Then I repeat, quit the bitching Tess: Quit the attitude Bea: 😏 Tess: Yeah, that's what I thought Bea: Where are you Tess: If I honked my horn you'd hear it Tess: do you want me to be your embarrassing Ma? Bea: As if you have any other mode Tess: Don't start lying now Bea: 🤐 Tess: Yeah yeah, get in the car

I agree on your points, but I mis-spoke what I meant about Ruby and her eyes. It's true that Salem didn't know about her, but Ozpin did. Ozpin surely knew that once Salem found out, Ruby would be a target. She showed great skill, so was moved up. Ozpin, in doing so ensured she could accelerate her growth, and be ready when the time came. At Beacon, he could watch her progress. As for Jaune, I both agree and disagree. Running out of space to type. One sec, I'll continue in another ask.

mutilusalae said:

Continued. Jaune did indeed lie and cheat his way in. But Ozpin isn't stupid. He basically protected Vale until Ironwood fucked it up with his well meaning actions. He had to have known about Jaune. Jaune is an idiot, but has a big heart and cares deeply for his friends. Once he realized the severity of his situation, he stopped pretending. He put everything on the line for his friends. He has his problems, but he's a teenager. Teens mess up. He has time. I want to see what he will grow to be.

mutilusalae said:

OOC: Jaune is all those things you said. But he’s also just a boy. A teenager in over his head. This does not excuse his actions, but it does make them relatable. I’m 26, and as a teen I made lots of foolish decisions. But I grew. I matured. Pyrrha believed in his potential, his Kindness, and his Determination. He’s made mistakes, but I do not think it’s fair to not give him time to grow. Thank you for having this civil discussion with me. I enjoyed sharing my thoughts and opinions with you.

mutilusalae said:

OOC: For not bashing my feelings and opinions, and for having a friendly debate with me; you just earned yourself a Follower. :) I respect your thoughts, and I also respect you for being civil and understanding enough to respect my feelings too. The fandom has enough problems without people arguing like kids over differences in opinions. Stay Classy!

i’m sorry, i’m gonna have to disagree with a lot of the points you’re making here

so on your first point about Ruby - no, there is no guarantee Salem would have ever found out about her, because the reason she knows about Ruby was by accident. if Ruby hadn’t been on the tower that night, Salem still wouldn’t know. Ruby would, in fact, be safer, if she’d just continued going to Signal and getting in the same way Yang did. sure, Beacon would still have fallen and the situation in Vale would arguably be worse with the dragon and everything, but Ruby wouldn’t have been there, her silver eyes wouldn’t have gone off, and she wouldn’t be on Salem’s radar. and even in a scenario where the Fall of Beacon never happens, Salem wouldn’t find out about Ruby until her eyes go off and disrupt her plans, which could be years off. Ruby continuing at Signal for another two years and then having four years at Beacon would have actually kept her safer for longer because she wouldn’t have shown up on Salem’s radar at all until she got involved - it’s not a matter of protecting Ruby, it’s Ozpin playing chess with peoples lives (as we know he does, through implications in the show and songs - he uses people). Ruby has silver eyes which are a weapon he can use against Salem, that’s the only reason

the problem with your claim that Ozpin was protecting Vale is the fact that he wasn’t. he wasn’t doing anything, that was Ironwood’s main bugbear with him and while Ironwood’s actions are equally stupid and caused more problems (because his solution to everything was ‘guns, violence and war, god bless america atlas’), his call for action, that they do something, wasn’t wrong. Ozpin’s main methods are just ‘wait and see what happens’ and that meant any action was responsive and often too late to stop things from getting bad

but even if we acknowledge that Ozpin was playing trickster mentor, that’s a fact the audience knows, not the characters involved. Jaune did something illegal (he committed fraud), to soothe his own ego (not for selfless reasons, this isn’t someone doing something wrong for good reasons, he just wants recognition as ‘a hero’). and not only that, but it’s not a situation that can be written off as ‘kids mess up, that makes him relatable’ because it’s a serious criminal offense and he’s trying to get into an incredibly dangerous line of work, if he can’t cut it, he should not be there, because he’s then a liability and risk to himself and others - this isn’t just cheating a scholarship to get into a prestigious school; they’re working to go into a line of work where they will be in legitimate danger and anyone not sufficiently trained is going to die very quickly. trickster mentor or not, someone has to be responsible here, and no one was (and that’s mainly a big fault in the writing)

and by all accounts, Ozpin probably was trying to pull Die or Fly with Jaune. Jaune was either going to get himself killed or succeed, but the problem is, to grow, Jaune has to actually acknowledge that what he did was wrong. and he doesn’t. his problem isn’t “i’m a liability, i’m putting people at risk and i did something illegal”, it’s “i don’t want to be the damsel in distress, i want to be the hero”, it’s ultimately selfish (not to mention, given how the teams of four system works, there’s probably limited spots at Beacon, meaning he cheated someone out of their place there when they’d actually worked for it). he doesn’t face consequences - because him sucking at fighting isn’t a punishment, neither is the extra work he has to do because he doesn’t pay attention in class, that’s just reality hitting. Cardin blackmailing him is just an extension of the bullying already present, and in the end, the bullying goes away and Jaune doesn’t have to face actual consequences. in fact, the narrative rewards him, as he gets one-on-one training with the strongest student in the year, sacrificing her own free time in the process, and no one else finds out about it

what you’re saying is totally valid in the sense that that’s how it could have been handled. Jaune could have acknowledged that he did something illegal in order to feed his own ego, that he was putting lives at risk, he didn’t earn his place which is an insult to everyone who did, and then going to a teacher and letting the proper authorities handle his situation. actually being punished for it, like with detention for the rest of the year that he can use to study up all the things he should know about, and then assigned a tutor (like an older student) that can help him get up to speed as quickly as possible, as overseen by a teacher, to reduce the risk. and through that, Jaune owns up to his fault, faces consequences for it, and actually earns his place at the academy because he has to start pulling his weight because he’s been given a second chance

but that’s not what happened, he gets off scot-free and never acknowledges that he was putting anyone in danger, because it’s all about him, and so despite all the focus on him he just hasn’t grown (sure he can hit things harder but all he had done is learn to lean on someone else to solve his problem for him, and that he can continue to get away with lying). and Pyrrha believing in him isn’t really a justification either, as she’s just as young as he is (and on top of that, she bails him out against the Ursa when he would otherwise have gotten killed and lets it feed his ego instead of laying it out to him that he would have died if she hadn’t intervened, and then still choosing to help him instead of making him own up to what he did to an authority figure who is in a position to actually make those kinds of calls about whether or not he deserves a chance to prove himself). ‘Kindness’ and ‘Determination’ are also more informed abilities than anything truly demonstrated in the text, because Jaune’s motivations were selfish, he barely pays attention to Pyrrha (and the positive traits she does mention... don’t exactly line up with what we’re actually shown), and he’s ultimately lazy - Pyrrha has to force him to study like she’s his babysitter. he’s also negative about a lot of things, rude and, hell, in a situation where Ruby was about to get killed, unlike Ren or Nora who at least tried to do something, he just closed his eyes. he gave up and didn’t try to help her (and this never comes up again - like if he’s trying to better himself so something like what happened to Pyrrha doesn’t happen again, you’d think he’d be doing something like Ruby was during volume 4, throwing himself in recklessly. but he didn’t, he looked away and didn’t try to help)

and then there’s the whole mess with Weiss where he outright refused to take ‘no’ for an answer and kept harassing her without ever taking her feelings into account (until Neptune turned her down, and only then it’s a matter of ‘another man in his perceived territory’ than it is about Weiss’s feelings, and the whole discussion has both of them treating her like a trophy) - Jaune is never portrayed as being in the wrong for these actions, and ultimately never faces real consequences for his continued harassment, the plot thread just stops

there are foolish decisions and then there’s doing illegal things solely for personal glory with no mind to how badly it could go and getting away with it. and that’s what happened. ultimately the fact is he didn’t earn his place or deserve to be at Beacon, and because he never owned up to his mistake in a meaningful way, he was never prepared to face punishment for doing something wrong (or even acknowledging that what he did was wrong and why, just that it’s so unfair that he can’t fight) and therefore he’s not granted a chance to prove himself and earn his place - because for some reason the narrative doesn’t treat what he did as being wrong - and he can’t grow from it

what you laid out in your asks could have been the case but now can’t be because Jaune doesn’t get consequences for his actions. it’s just a lot of wasted potential from a writing perspective and he’s received a lot of undue focus (when he shouldn’t be prime focus anyway) for what’s essentially amounted to nothing because he hasn’t grown

The Unknown Muggleborn - Chapter 9

3rd Person POV

Hermione, who had come back with (Y/n) the day before term had started, takes a different view of things. She is torn between horror at the idea of Harry being out of bed, roaming the school three nights in a row - "If Filch had caught you!" - and disappointment that he hadn't, at least found out how Nicholas Flamel was.

(Y/n) had opened her mouth to say something, but Fred and George had darted across the Common Room and dragged her away and towards Oliver Wood, her three friends staring after her, and catching her apologetic gaze before Oliver snaps at her to pay attention.

Oliver seems to be working the Quidditch team harder than ever. Even the endless rain that had replaced the snow couldn't dampen his spirits. The Weasleys complained that Wood is becoming a fanatic, but Harry and (Y/n) are on Wood's side. If they win their next match, against Hufflepuff, they would overtake Slytherin in the House Championship for the first time in seven years. Quite apart from wanting to win, they find that they has fewer nightmares when they're tired after training.

Then, during one particularly wet and muddy practice session, Oliver Wood gives the team a bit of bad news. He'd just gotten very angry with the Weasleys, who kept dive-bombing each other and pretending to fall of their brooms.

"Will you stop messing around!" Wood orders. "That's exactly what'll lose us the match! Snape's refereeing this time, and he'll be looking for any excuse to knock points off Gryffindor!"

George Weasley really did fall off his broom at the words.

"Snape's refereeing?" he splutters through a mouthful of mud. "When's he ever refereed a Quidditch match? He's not going go be fair if me might overtake Slytherin."

The rest of team - besides (Y/n) - land next to George to complain, too.

"It's not my fault," says Wood. "We've just got to make sure we play a clean game, so Snape hasn't got an excuse to pick on us."

Which is all well, thinks (Y/n), but I don't need a repeat of what happened last time, whoever did it.

The rest of the team hangs back to talk to one another as usual at the end of practice, but Harry and (Y/n) sprint straight back up to the Gryffindor common room, where they find Hermione and Ron playing chess. Chess was the only thing Hermione ever lost at, something Harry and Ron though was good for her.

"Don't talk to me for a moment," says Ron when Harry sits down beside him and Hermione shifts to make room for (Y/n).

Then Hermione catches sight of (Y/n)'s face. "What's wrong?" she asks, a worried look on her face and Ron looks over at (Y/n).

Speaking quietly so that no one else would hear, Harry tells the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.

"Don't play," says Hermione at once.

"Say you're ill," Ron offers.

"Pretend to break you leg," Hermione says.

"Really break your leg," at Ron's words, everyone turns to him.

"I can't," says (Y/n), then she signs. "There isn't a reserve Seeker. If I back out, Gryffindor can't play at all."

At that moment Neville topples into the Common Room. How he had managed to climb through was anyone's guess, because his legs had been stuck together with what they recognized at once as the Leg-Locker Curse. He must have had to bunny hop all the way up to Gryffindor Tower.

Everyone but (Y/n) and Hermione laugh, and (Y/n) leaps up an performs the countercurse. Neville's legs spring apart and he gets to his feet, trembling.

"What happened?" (Y/n) asks him, leading him over to sit with Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

"Malfoy," says Neville shakily. "I met him outside the library. He said he'd been looking for someone to practice that on."

"Go to Professor McGonagall!" Hermione urges Neville.

"Report him!" (Y/n) agrees with the brunette.

Neville shakes his head. "I don't want more trouble," he mumbles.

"You've got to stand up to him, Neville!" Harry says.

"He's used to walking all over people, but that's no reason to lie down in front of him and make it easier," Ron says.

"There's no need to tell me I'm not brave enough to be in Gryffindor, Malfoy's already done that," Neville chokes out.

(Y/n) feels around in the pocket of her sweatshirt and pulls out a chocolate frog. She gives it to Neville, who looks as though he is about to cry.

"You're worth twelve of Malfoy," (Y/n) says.

"The Sorting Hat chose you for Gryffindor, didn't it? And where's Malfoy? In stinking Slytherin?" Harry finishes.

"Thanks, (Y/n), Harry ... I think I'll go to bed ... D'you want the card (Y/n), you collect them don't you?"

As Neville walks away, (Y/n) looks at the Famous Wizard card.

(Y/n), reading the card, smacks herself in the face and everyone turns to her. "I found him!" (Y/n) hands the card to Hermione and she sprints upstairs and grabs a alchemy book from her nightstand.

"I never thought to look in here," (Y/n) says, sprinting back downstairs and over to her friends. "Snape gave me this a few weeks ago to read."

(Y/n) opens the book and flips through the pages. "Nicholas Flamel is the only know maker of the Sorcerer's Stone."

This doesn't have the effect she had expected.

"The what?" ask Harry and Ron.

"Honestly, don't you read?" Hermione asks.

"The Sorcerer's Stone," (Y/n) begins pacing back and forth, her friends watching, "it was a legend, but I guess now it's true." (Y/n) runs a hand through her (H/C) hair. "It can transform any metal into pure gold and can produce the Elixir of Life, which makes the drinker immortal. If I remember correctly, Flamel just turned six hundred and sixty-five."

"The dog must be guarding the Sorcerer's Stone!" Harry begins.

"I bet he asked Dumbledore to keep it safe for him, because they're friends and he knew someone was after it, that's why he wanted the Stone removed out of Gringotts!" Hermione finishes.

"A stone that makes gold and stops you from ever dying!" exclaims Harry. "No wonder Snape's after it! Anyone would want it!"

At Harry's mention of Snape, (Y/n)'s mouth spreads into a frown.

"And no wonder we couldn't find Flamel in that Study of Recent Developments in Wizardry," says Ron. "He's not exactly recent if he's six hundred and sixty-five, is he?"

. . .

The next morning in Defense Against the Dark Arts, while copying down different ways of treating werewolf bites, Harry and Ron are still discussing what they'd do with a Sorcerer's Stone if they had one. It wasn't until Ron said he'd buy his own Quidditch team that (Y/n) remembers about Snape and the coming match.

"I'm going to play," she tells the other five. "If I don't we'll be behind in the cup. If we win, I'll show them ... it'll really wipe the smiles off their faces."

"Just as long as we're not wiping you off the field," Ron comments and (Y/n) shoots him a incredulous look.

As the match grows closer, however, (Y/n) becomes more and more nervous, whatever she told her friends and sister. The rest of the team isn't very calm, either. The idea of overtaking Slytherin in the House Championship was wonderful, no one had done it in seven years, but would they be allowed to, with such a biased referee?

Harry doesn't know whether he is imagining it or not, but he seems to keep running into Snape wherever he goes. At times, he wonders if Snape is following him, trying to catch him on his own. Potions lessons are turning into a sort of weekly torture for Harry, Snape seemingly getting worse in each class. Harry didn't see how he could - yet sometimes he had to horrible feeling that Snape could read minds.

(Y/n) knew, when they had wished her and Harry good luck outside the locker rooms the next afternoon, that Ron and Hermione were wondering whether they'd ever see her alive again. (Y/n) hardly hears a word of Oliver's pep talk as she pulls on her Quidditch robes and picks up her Nimbus Two Thousand.

Ron and Hermione, meanwhile, had found a place in the stands next to Neville, who couldn't understand why they looked so grim and worried, or why they had both brought their wands to the match. Little did (Y/n) know that her friends had been secretly practicing the Leg-Locker Curse. They had gotten the idea from Malfoy using it on Neville, and were ready to use it on Snape if he showed any signs of wanting to hurt (Y/n).

Back in the locker room, Oliver Wood had taken (Y/n) aside.

"Don't want to pressure you, (Y/n), but if we ever need an early capture of the Snitch it's now. Finish the game before Snape can favor Hufflepuff too much."

(Y/n) nods, a determined look on the Seeker's face.

"The whole school's out there!" says Fred, peering out of the door. "Even - blimey - Dumbledore's come to watch!"

Harry and (Y/n) exchange looks. "Dumbledore?" Harry asks, dashing to the door to make sure. Fred is right, there's no mistaking that silver beard.

Harry could have laughed out loud with relief. (Y/n) was safe. There was simply no way that Snape would dare hurt (Y/n) if Dumbledore was watching, Harry thinks. Maybe that's why Snape is looking so angry as the teams march onto the field, Harry thinks, which Ron notices as well.

"I've never seen Snape look so mean," the ginger tells the other girls. "Look - they're off. Ouch!" Malfoy had poked Ron in the back of the head.

"Oh, sorry Weasley, didn't see you there," Malfoy grins at Crabbe and Goyle. "Wonder how long (L/n)'s going to stay on her broom this time? Anyone want a bet? What about you, Weasley?"

Ron doesn't answer; Snape had just awarded Hufflepuff a penalty because George had hit a Bludger at him. Hermione, who had all her fingers crossed in her lap, is squinting fixedly up at (Y/n), who is circling the came like a hawk, looking for the Snitch.

"You know how I think they chose people for the Gryffindor team?" says Malfoy loudly a few minutes later, as Snape awards Hufflepuff another penalty for no reason at all. "It's people they feel sorry for. See, there's Potter and (L/n), who've got no family, then there's the Weasleys, who've got no money - you should be on the team, Longbottom, you've got no brains."

Neville goes bright red but turns in his seat to face Malfoy. "I'm worth twelve of you Malfoy," he stammers.

Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle howl with laughter, but Ron, still not daring to take his eyes from the game, said, "You tell him, Neville."

"Longbottom, if brains were gold you'd be poorer than Weasley, and that's saying something."

Ron's nerves are already stretched to the breaking point with anxiety about (Y/n), "I'm warning you, Malfoy - one more word -"

"Ron!" says Hermione suddenly, "(Y/n) - !"

"What?! Where?!"

(Y/n) had suddenly gone into a spectacular dive, which draws gasps and cheers from the crowd. Hermione stands up, her crossed fingers in her mouth, as (Y/n) streaks towards the ground like a bullet.

"You're in luck, Weasley, (L/N)'s obviously spotted some money on the ground!" says Malfoy.

Ron snaps. Before Malfoy knows what's happening, Ron is on top of him, wrestling him to the ground. Neville hesitates, then clambers over the back of his seat to help.

"Come on, (Y/n)!" Hermione screams, leaping onto her seat to watch as (Y/n) speeds straight at Snape - she didn't even notice Malfoy and Ron rolling around under her seat, or the scuffles and yelps coming from the whirl of fists that was Neville, Crabbe and Goyle.

Hermione watches to see Snape turning on his broomstick to see something scarlet shoot past him, missing him by inches - the next second, (Y/n) had pulled out of the dive, her arm raised in triumph, the Snitch clasped in her hand.

The stands erupt; it had to be a record, no one could remember the Snitch being caught so quickly.

"Ron! Ron! Where are you? The game's over! (Y/n)'s won! We've won! Gryffindor's in the lead," shrieks Hermione, dancing up and down on her seat and hugging a beaming Pavarti Patil in front of her.

(Y/n) jumps off her broom, a foot from the ground. She couldn't believe it. She had done it - the game was over; it had barely lasted five minutes. As Gryffindors come spilling onto the field, Harry sees Snape land nearby, white-faced and tight-lipped. Harry lands beside (Y/n) and they feel a hand on their shoulder and they look up into Dumbledore's smiling face.

"Well done," says Dumbledore quietly, so that only Harry and (Y/n) could hear.

The Gryffindors run to lift (Y/n) onto their shoulder; Ron and Hermione in the distance, jumping up and down, Ron cheering through a heavy nosebleed.

Harry leaves the locker room alone some time later, to take his Nimbus Two Thousand back to the broomshed. He leans against the wooden door and looks up at Hogwarts, with its windows glowing red in the setting sun. Gryffindor in the lead. (Y/n) had done it, she'd shown Snape. . . .

And speaking of Snape . . .

A hooded figure comes swiftly down the front steps of the castle. Clearly not wanting to be seen, it walks as fast as possible toward the forbidden forest. Harry recognizes the figure's prowling walk. Snape, sneaking into the forest while everyone else was at dinner — what was going on?

Harry jumps back on his Nimbus Two Thousand and took off. Gliding silently over the castle he sees Snape enter the forest at a run; he follows.

The trees are so thick he couldn't see where Snape had gone. He flew in circles, lower and lower, brushing the top branches of trees until he hears voices. He glides toward them and lands noiselessly in a towering beech tree.

He climbs carefully along one of the branches, holding tight to his broomstick, trying to see through the leaves. Below, in a shadowy clearing, stands Snape, but he isn't alone. Quirrell is there, too. Harry can't make out the look on his face, but he is stuttering worse than ever. Harry strains to catch what they are saying.

". . . d-don't know why you wanted t-t-to meet here of all p-places, Severus . . ."

"Oh, I thought we'd keep this private," replies Snape, his voice icy. "Students aren't supposed to know about the Sorcerer's Stone, after all."

Harry leans forward. Quirrell is mumbling something, but Snape interrupts him.

"Have you found out how to get past that beast of Hagrid's yet?"

"B-b-but Severus, I —"

"You don't want me as your enemy, Quirrell," says Snape, taking a step towards him.

"I-I don't know what you —"

"You know perfectly well what I mean."

An owl hoots loudly, and Harry nearly falls out of the tree. He steadies himself in time to hear Snape say, "— your little bit of hocus-pocus. I'm waiting."

"B-but I d-d-don't —"

"Very well," Snape cuts in. "We'll have another little chat soon, when you've had time to think things over and decided where your loyalties lie."He throws his cloak over his head and strides out of the clearing. It is almost dark now, but Harry can see Quirrell, standing quite still, as though he was petrified.

. . .

"Harry, where have you been?" Hermione squeaks.

"We won! (Y/n) won! We won!" shouted Ron, thumping (Y/n) on the back."And I gave Malfoy a black eye, and Neville tried to take on Crabbe and Goyle single-handed! He's still out cold but Madam Pomfrey says he'll be all right — talk about showing Slytherin!"

"Everyone's waiting for you and (Y/n) in the common room, we're having a party, Fred and George stole some cakes and stuff from the kitchens," Ron continues.

"Never mind that now," says Harry breathlessly. "Let's find an empty room, you wait 'til you hear this. . . ."

He made sure Peeves wasn't inside before shutting the door behind them, then he told them what he'd seen and heard.

"So we were right, it is the Sorcerer's Stone, and Snape's trying to force Quirrell to help him get it. He asked if he knew how to get past Fluffy — and he said something about Quirrell's 'hocus-pocus'— I reckon there are other things guarding the stone apart from Fluffy, loads of enchantments, probably, and Quirrell would have done some anti-Dark Arts spell that Snape needs to break through -"

"So you man the Stone's only safe as long as Quirrell stands up to Snape?" asks Hermione in alarm, (Y/n) shifting thoughtfully on the desk she was sitting onto of.

"It'll be gone by next Tuesday," says Ron.

Hermione glances over at (Y/n), who is sitting silently, a thoughtful expression on her face. "What is it?" (Y/n) asks.

"The thing about the loyalty confuses me," (Y/n) says, jumping off the desk. "Who would Quirrell need to prove his loyalties lie to? Dumbledore right, what if Quirrell is trying to get the stone? What if that whole stuttering thing is an act? I've never been a hundred percent about him myself."

Ron shrugs her off, "It must be Snape."

"Not necessarily, not to be rude or anything, but I'm his favorite student," the others nod in agreement. Then (Y/n) turns to Hermione. "Who was sitting behind Snape at the first Quidditch match?"

"Quirrell," Hermione says.

"My point exactly," (Y/n) says but Ron and Harry shrug her off again.

"It's definitely Snape," Harry says and (Y/n) shakes her head and walks back to the Gryffindor Common Room alone.

Despite herself, she grins when she portrait whole swings open and the Common Room erupts into cheers as she steps through. Oliver and Fred come over and lift (Y/n) up onto their shoulder and everyone begins to cheer:

"(Y/n)!"

"(Y/n)!"

"(Y/n)!"

Word Count: 2963 words