a tumblr user made a point which i never thought of before - they said that if hannibal had to toss a coin to see whether or not he should save bella, that means bella's wishes means as much to him as his own. i think ppl forget that if bella died, jack would blame hannibal and would go along muchmore quickly to will's side of events, and there would be more scrutiny into hannibal if he let a patient die in his office, which isn't good for him considering the suspicions surrounding him. to say hannibal was playing god implies he's removed from the consequences, but he's not. here he was faced with a choice - self preservation (and favour with jack) or going with bella's wishes (and losing jack's favour and have the FBI peer into his patient history, probably). that he was even torn about it suggests the depth of his feelings for bella. i don't think he acted out of whimsy considering he genuinely cares about and respects bella, and cried at her death. bryan fuller talked about this too, and said hannibal loves and respects bella.

hey anon thanks for sharing this! it’s an interesting point and highlights hannibal’s complexity. I still think there’s layers here though and it’s not so black and white. you’re right to say that hannibal isn’t removed from consequences and that he isn’t god, but I think this unveiling is part of his arc. if not god, then hannibal at least thinks he’s superior (hence the cannibalism) and part of his transformation involves coming to terms with his humanity, which only happens when he gives himself up at the end of s3a. will sparks this whole transformation because he’s the only person hannibal views as his equal. it’s why mizumono is such a dramatic turning point for hannibal’s character, since he’s forced to confront his own vulnerability (which challenges his worldview). he didn’t think anyone could change or influence him to this extent, but will does. the only other person to have this kind of power over him is mischa

however, even if hannibal’s capacity to love and care for people is limited, I do agree it’s worth considering. I think it’s very likely that he cares for bella, and he definitely respects her, but I also think he loves selfishly and destructively. he may view sparing her as an act of mercy, and he may grieve her after she passes, but he still prioritises himself and his freedom to choose. this is why she slaps him later, because he took that choice from her. even if he was torn, he still believed he had authority over her life. he would’ve let her die just as easily as he would’ve let her live, and if deciding was as easy as a coin toss then I don’t think he views bella equally. he behaves similarly with abigail. he cares for them the only way he knows how, and considering his lack of empathy and narcissism I don’t think hannibal’s compassion amounts to much. it doesn’t mean it’s nonexistent though

this is what I meant in my original post. I think it’s difficult for us to interpret hannibal’s actions when they don’t align with what we understand. he cares for bella yet has no problem stripping her of her autonomy and deciding her fate for her. we see an act of love, or evidence which suggests it, and struggle to reconcile it with simultaneous acts of cruelty. hannibal’s humanity uncomfortably coexists with his monstrosity, and he somehow manages to be both and neither at the same time

Hannigram AU: Welcome Home

They say you can't go home again.

And yet here Will is standing on the doorstep of the house he grew up in.

He rarely talked to his Dad after he'd left the last time, the need to get away so great, but they called on special occasions. The call he got last week was not one of those times.

"I got cancer, Willy. The really bad kind. Doc says I..."

Will still remembers growing up wanting his father's approval, craving it so badly he became less than his true self, but still he flew here anyway to be a 'good' son. He knocks, heart beating wildly in his chest, and when the door opens he frowns at who is on the other side.

The man is wearing what looks like a sweater, which is odd seeing as how it's at least seventy outside, and his smile makes Will feel oddly welcome. He looks nothing like the type of people Dad hung around.

“Who are you?”

"Will," he says, taking Will's hand and covering it with his other, "How nice to meet you at last."

Will pulls his hand back. "I asked you a question, Mister. Just who---"

"Willy! Quit yellin' at Hannibal and close the damn door you're letting out the air!"

He blushes, stepping inside, and when Hannibal takes his suitcase he scowls.

"You didn't tell me you got a nurse!"

"He ain't no nurse, kid!"

Hannibal chuckles, putting his hand on Will's back as he leads him toward the kitchen. "I am John's neighbor, I've lived here the last...five years? Has it been five years, John?"

"Thereabouts," his dad says from far off, "You came when Mrs. O'Leary passed and..."

Will dreads finally seeing him but steels himself for all the nitpicking and anger. But when he turns the corner and spots John Graham he freezes.

His father looks like death.

"Oh."

"Yes, it's...been quite fast. I apologize if you weren't warned, I don't think he realizes," Hannibal whispers, his voice close to Will's ear, "Please don't comment on it."

"I, uh...yeah. Hey, Dad."

John looks up from the bowl he's eating from, hair white and skin deadly pale, and frowns at him. "You couldn't get a haircut? What kind of hippie look is that?"

Will blushes. "It's not--"

"I think Will looks rather nice," Hannibal says, smiling as he sits down next to his father, putting a hand on John's back, "Don't you?"

John frowns, taking another bite of what looks like soup, "Eh, who cares. Sit, don't just stand there."

Will watches Hannibal throughout the meal, which apparently he himself cooked, and even tastes a bowl of chicken soup. It's the best soup Will's ever had, but he doesn't say anything. The man is very attentive with his father, helping his shaky hand, wiping his mouth, and even helps put him into a wheelchair that Will didn't notice at first.

By the time lunch is over Dad is exhausted, and Will follows as Hannibal lifts him into bed and even stays until he falls asleep checking vitals.

"You're a doctor?" he asks later.

Hannibal smiles. "Yes. I have a practice in town but I've taken a leave of absence. I apologize if you don't want my interference."

"No, it's...fine."

"John and I became fast friends about two years ago after another neighbor, Mrs. Hawkins, passed."

Will frowns.  "Hawkins and O'Leary?"

"They didn't die from cancer, it was thankfully quite painless though they did seem sickly beforehand. Both were lovely, lovely women. I feel better for having known them."

Will takes a sip of his tea. "I remember them both being pretty angry ladies myself."

Hannibal smiles. "People change, Will. You haven't been home in a very long time, have you?"

"No."

"Are you planning on staying until it's....time?"

He nods.

"It will be nice for John to have you here at night in case of emergency, though I am always ready to help."

Hannibal reaches for Will's hand and he feels oddly tired but doesn't push him away.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome," Hannibal says, his eyes warm.

Will blinks and for a second he's almost sure he saw Hannibal's eyes turn red but now they seem the same brown.

He must be tired.

That's it.

"I'll take my leave," he says, standing, "I will be back in the morning."

"You really don't have to--"

Hannibal shakes his head. "John is my friend, Will, and even in times like this I always see my friends off to their final end. It's the least I can do."

Will stands and follows him to the door. "Are you some kind of saint or something? Most people..."

He opens the door and steps out to smile at Will again. "Not a saint, no. Just...a friend. Have a good evening."

Will watches him walk to the house next door and can't help but notice how attractive he is. He shakes those thoughts from his head.

The last thing he needs is to piss his dad off by getting a crush on the neighbor.

No, he's here to be with his Dad.

Whether he wants to be or not.

Roti

1x11

Hannibal Lecter x reader x Will Graham 

Hannibal Re-Write Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: spoilers for hannibal, murder, mental health problems 

Author’s Note: Will graham I will die for you any day of the week just text me 

I took lines directly from the script so some may seem familiar. Those sentences are not mine. 

Official Episode Summary : The BAU team searches for Dr. Gideon, who has escaped custody and intends to kill psychiatrists who have profiled him; Hannibal misleads the team in order to get Will and Gideon in the same room; Jack questions Dr. Chilton about Gideon's escape.

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director 

Tag List: @llperfectsymmetryll​

(not my gif)

It was snowing steadily outside when you went to sleep that night. There were a few inches above the ground by the time your consciousness slipped into no man's land. You woke up slowly, looking at the other side of the bed where Will had fallen asleep. The blankets had been kicked off of both of you and you were freezing the second you awoke. 

Will laid on his back, body tense but still asleep. Sweat clung to his gray shirt. He was hot when you grabbed his arm and he instantly woke up, staring at you with scared beady eyes.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” you whispered and he shook his head looking around to get his bearings. 

“Is this real?” he asked, voice wispy. You nodded quickly and scooted closer to him.

“Real,” you told him. When he looked at you his eyes pleaded and you sat all the way up, looking down at him. “Let’s go outside.” He nodded and clung to your arm as you got out of bed, wiping the sleep from your eyes. You led him outside and you stood on the porch, the dogs running past you into the yard. It had stopped snowing.

He shook beside you but it was colder outside. You didn’t touch him in fear of making him even hotter.

“Take the day off,” you whispered. 

“I can’t.” 

The alarm went off inside.

-

“You dodged a bullet Chilton. Gideon’s escape foregoes a trial and a very public humiliation for you,” Wil said as you walked together into the office of Frederick Chilton.  You looked around curiously. Will had asked you to come, having serious concerns that this time around they might not let him out. You were to be a trainee, if anyone asked.

Chilton sat behind his desk and raised an eyebrow at the sight of you. 

“Who’s this? I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure.” 

“Y/N Y/L/N. Trainee,” you said, shaking his hand. Will grabbed your arm and pulled it back quickly. He didn’t want any part of Chilton touching you beyond that handshake.

“They’re letting trainees come on such high profile cases now?” Chilton paused, looking between the two of you. “Ah no, you’re thee Y/N. I wasn’t aware I was in the presence of such a high profile couple.” Will let out an annoyed sigh. 

“We’re here to talk about Gideon,” Will said simply.

“How do you do it? Is there a part of you that hates your boyfriend's mind?” Chilton asked. 

“You sound like Freddie Lounds,” you said and he feigned hurt

“I can see where you like each other.”

-

Work that day was hard. 

Hannibal noticed.

He gestured for you to come into the office just before Will’s appointment. You stepped inside. You had never been in here alone with Hannibal you were pretty sure. With Will, heck with Tobias or Jack but never just with Hannibal. It made you feel like a patient. 

“How is Will?”

“Will is terrible but you know that already,” you whispered. You trailed your finger along his desk and turned around.

“Why don’t you have a seat in the chair?” he asked as you hoisted yourself up onto the desk.

“It makes me feel to much like a patient. When I’m on the desk I’m an observer. I don't’ have to have any input on what you and Will discuss,” you told him. Hannibal walked over to you and leaned against the desk beside you. “He wakes up at night sweating through the sheets, almost crying,” you whispered. “He doesn’t know if I’m real when I comfort him.” You stared straight ahead at the art on the walls. You took a deep breath in.

“How does that make you feel?” Hannibal asked.

“Broken hearted,” you breathed. “LIke I can’t help my best friend. Because I can’t.” You finally looked over at Hannibal. 

“You’re doing the best you can,” Hannibal said. “That is occasionally all we can do.” You shook your head and while  you stared into Hannibal’s eyes you felt a pull. An emotional pull you hadn’t felt beside him anymore. You pushed it away quickly, looking back at the wall.

You felt an angry lone tear go down your cheek.

“It isn’t enough.”

“Do you consider yourself in any of this? Perhaps that by attempting to take on WIll’s problems you are making more problems for yourself,” Hannibal suggested.

“I don’t care about me or my social life right now. I care about Will.”

The door, which was open, was knocked on as Will walked inside. You wiped your eyes and pushed yourself off the table.

“Am I interrupting?” Will asked. You shook your head and walked over to the door quickly, eager to leave Hannibal to it. Will grabbed your arm before you could leave. You quickly stopped. 

“Yeah?” 

“I-” he started. “I’m sorry about this morning.” You shook your head and put your hand to his cheek lovingly.

“Don’t worry about it. Have a good session thing,” you said quietly and he let you go. He thought about asking you to stay but thought better of it. He knew that he was hurting you daily by being like this and he hated seeing you hurt almost as much as you hated seeing him hurt. 

You shut the door behind you and Will’s eyes welled with tears.

“She loves you,” Hannibal said. “Very much.”

“Glad to know someone will always be in my corner,” he muttered. “Even when I’m not.”

-

With Gideons escape you were worried about pretty much everything. You sat on your own desk outside the office as Will and Hannibal talked. To get your mind off things you called Alana. 

“Hello?” 

“You alive? Is this the Chesapeake Ripper?” you asked. Alana laughed mockingly.

“Gideon isn’t the Ripper,” she told you.

“Still.” You paused. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m better than your boyfriend. Speaking of, you need a vacation when Will regains his stability for putting up with him. I can’t imagine living with him.” You sighed.

“He cuddles well. Good kisser. You get any hot protective detail?” She hummed a no.

“Thinking about giving into Hannibal's flirting,” she muttered.

“Hannibal's been flirting?” you asked. You kicked your feet around. This was what you needed. A girl talk.

“Sort of. I can’t tell.”

“You're a psychiatrist Alana, how can’t you tell?”

“Because I can’t be my own psychiatrist.” The door to the office opened. Will’s eyes were filled with water.

“I gotta go. Be safe.” You hung up the phone and stood you, bringing your hand to Will’s face. You wiped the tears and noticed very quickly how hot he was. “Wil you’re burning,” you whispered.

“I’m naturally hot,” he joked dryly.

“Shut up. What is your temperature? Take some aspirin.” 

“We can check later and I just took some. I just wanna go home.” YOu nodded stiffly and glanced at Hannibal behind him. He gave you a solemn look of pity. You wrapped your fingers around the side of Will’s neck and it ached with the heat. 

-

Alana handed you a bowl of ice cream and you took it, sitting on the chair in her office. She sat on her desk facing  you and the window.

“If you get killed hanging out with me Will is never going to forgive you,” she said, pointing her spoon at you. You took a bite of your ice cream and then pointed  your spoon at the men around the room, watching.

“If he gets through them perhaps it was fate,” you suggested. “Plus Will told me to come.” It was true. When Alana invited you for dinner Will practically shoved  you through the door. The hunt for Gideon was on and he figured it would be safer with a detail than with him at work. 

He almost dropped you off at Hannibal’s but decided against it when he thought about it. 

“I hope he’s okay,” you whispered offhandedly.

“You don’t need to worry about him,” Alana said.

“It’s literally my job as his girlfriend to worry about him.” Your foot bounced nervously.

“It’s why I didn’t date him when I had the chance,” she said.

“Because he’s to much work?”

“I didn’t know if he was stable or not.” You nodded slowly.

“But you like Hannibal whom is likely hiding his instability,” you said. She laughed and shook her head.

“I never said I liked him. I just said he might be flirting.” 

There was a shot outside the window. You stood up quickly and looked outside to see Gideon on the ground and Will, kneeling beside him.  You dropped your bowl. It broke.  You ran out the front door and quickly skidded to the ground beside Will, grabbing his arm. He looked at you and for a moment you weren’t sure if he recognized you.

“Real or-”

“Real. Real.” You put your hands on his cheeks and he was still burning. He put his head on your lap and you looked at Alana who had just come outside. “Call Jack. And Hannibal.” She nodded and ran back inside to get the phone.

You held Will on your lap, somehow calm, running your hands through his hair wildly to get  him to stop shaking.

-

Hannibal met  you at the hospital after talking to Jack. You sat beside Will’s bed, his hand in yours as you looked at his unconscious body. You were still crying, so scared for him.

“His temperature was 105, degrees and I didn’t make him go to the doctor,” you whispered. Hannibal shook his head, walking toward you. He pulled up a chair and sat beside you.

“You can’t blame yourself for this,” he whispered.

“What did Jack say?”

“Nothing you want to hear right now,” he told you. “I swear I will rip that man's head right off hi-”

“It’s okay. It’ll all be okay.” 

Hannibal took your other hand and you let him hold it as you stared at Will, your face tear stained and puffy.

“Will he be okay?” you whispered.

“Will’s going to be alright,” Hannibal whispered but he honestly wasn’t sure anymore.

1x12

NSFW headcanons for hannibal with a female s/o. Also I just wanted to say that your writing has been amazing and please don’t forget to take care of yourself.

Aww! Thank you Dear, and I will certainly do my best to. Now on with the filth!

Hannibal Lecter (Hannibal)

Hannibal is a very classy man, he's been around but he's always very sweet and a complete gentleman.

When you're newly dating he will spend most of his time being overly romantic with no sexual intentions whatsoever.

When you've been together a while and he knows you aren't planning to leave anytime soon, the feelings begin to sink in and perhaps he may love you.

When you know his secret and you stick around, there's no question. He loves you and he's all yours. His romantic dinners turns to sexual tension filled nights laying beside you.

It finally comes to a head one evening after dinner. He's sending out a letter to a colleague and he looks you in the eye while licking the envelope. Painfully slow, like he's trying to make you jealous of the paper.

Secretly, you are.

He rests himself in one of the large loveseats overlooking the fireplace.

This is your chance.

"Tell me y/n, does the fire dance in your heart as much as it may in the chimney? For desire can be such a burning feeling."

Sounds like he's ready too.

"I know you feel it. Have you ever seen two flames meet? How they dance together while becoming one..." he motions for you to come over. "... It is such a thing of beauty."

You walk over to him, laying your glass of wine to the side as you straddle him on the loveseat. He removes his shirt, smiling at you the whole way. He begins to kiss you, as he begins removing your clothes he kisses down to your breast, cupping them in his hands, sliding off your underwear so you lay naked atop him. He takes a finger and begins to trace your entrance, gentle circles with another finger on your clitoris. It brings forth soft moans from you, he smiles.

"This is just the beginning. Just an ember of what will be to come."

He lifts you up, placing your hands around his ankles and your knees on his shoulders and he starts to lick, stimulating you until your knees begin to shake.

He grips your waist, pulling you closer into him but you want to return the favor. You pop open his lovely buttoned pants and slide his boxers off as well, revealing a fully prepared and large member throbbing at your touch.

You begin to run your tongue down the length of it, leaving Hannibal shivering, and then you encompass his member in your mouth, enough for him to let out a moan from between your thighs. You feel his thighs begin to twitch as you go down on him, his body reacting wildly to touch.

He takes a breath and lifts you back up, facing away from him as he lays your thighs atop his own. He kisses your neck as he bucks his hips up, pushing the head of his member inside you.

You both let out a moan, your bodies aching for more. He places many hot kisses across your shoulder, bouncing you on him until he's about halfway inside you, heavy panting and moaning ensues. He begins to buck his hips once more, leading to the entirety of him is inside you and he thrusts hard, heavy grunts leaving his throat as he pushes. Your toes are curling, knees weak, biting your own lip and holding his kneecaps with a deathgrip as your tension builds to a shaky legged release. You let out a long sigh as you cum, leading him to do the same. Minutes pass, a loud sigh, some light moans and he's completely finished. You're both a MESS.

He stands up, carrying you bridal style to his master bedroom's large luxurious shower.

Perhaps you'll go for another round in here 😉💕

if hannibal and will’s roles were reversed in digestivo, do you think will would have saved hannibal?

Oh now this is a QUESTION thank you holy shit

My gut response is “no, but he would have regretted it every day for the rest of his life”

But honestly… I don’t think he would have just left Cordell and Mason alive and free and unhindered lol like At That Point something had to be done about them or they were gonna kill not only Hannibal but also the girls for helping Will escape and yk. They were already out there being the worst human being alive. He already wanted them dead. So I think that overall Will would end up going on a similar killing spree to what Hannibal did? He probably would make more effort to sneak rather than just butchering EVERYONE but. He would kill or at least severely maim a lot of people, including Mason and Cordell

So yk that would “save” Hannibal since presumably that would happen along the same sort of timeline and Hannibal would still be alive. Part of me can easily picture Will just fucking leaving him on the operating table with everything still hooked up to him and being like “if he can’t move in time to get away that’s too bad but also I just Want Rest”

On the other hand I mean he is. Wildly in love with the bastard. And the situation they’ve just been through has been absolutely horrible and he’s tired but he also can’t bear the sight of Hannibal so vulnerable so he definitely at least unhooks and unbinds him.

Idk that Will is anything like strong enough to carry Hannibal though and idk that Will would be committed enough to Saving Hannibal to try to get him out of there by some other means? I mean sure there are other means available to him but?? He’s so tired and Hannibal recently tried to saw his head open. He just leaves him and distantly hopes Hannibal will be gone by the time the cops get here.

Chiyoh of course still shows up and she sure as fuck doesn’t help Will: she finds Hannibal paralyzed in the makeshift operating room and takes him away somewhere to heal. After that? Small ficlet under the cut or on ao3

Will expects that Hannibal will go back on the run, and leave him a new trail of bloody breadcrumbs to follow. He doesn’t intend to look for them.

He doesn’t expect the knock on his door a few days later—even if Hannibal did stay in the area, the idea of him being that direct would never have occurred to Will. But there he is, still battered and bruised. He looks almost worse than the last time Will saw him, like he hasn’t slept. Like he walked there from miles away. 

There’s a moment where Will considers shutting the door in his face. It really would only be fair. But he finds himself stepping back, opening it further to let Hannibal in and then shutting it behind him. The dogs are back home, and they cluster around, sniffing at the newcomer before Will orders them back to their beds with a sharp sound and a gesture. 

He stares at Hannibal. Hannibal’s eyes are roving over his face like he’s trying to memorize it again. Neither of them has said anything. Eventually Hannibal sways on his feet, and Will catches his shoulder, not caring if it was probably an act. Hannibal all but falls forward into him, clutching at Will like his life depends on it. 

Will wouldn’t have been surprised to feel the sharp stab of a knife, but there isn’t one. Just Hannibal wrapped as tightly around him as he can get, face buried in Will’s neck. Will’s arms come up around him as more a reflex than a conscious decision, and he feels wetness on his neck as Hannibal’s body shudders with a sob

It’s been a hell of a week, in as literal a sense as that phrase has ever been meant, and Will has been one good hug away from a breakdown himself since he saw Hannibal in front of the Botticelli. Maybe since he woke up in the hospital and Abigail was dead and Hannibal was gone. He’s not surprised when his own breath shakes and tears well in his own eyes. He leans into Hannibal and holds him tighter until they’ve cried themselves out, and then a little longer than that, and then he pulls Hannibal over to sit on the edge of the bed with him, shoulders touching, bracing each other.

“They’re watching my house,” he says.

“There is one man watching the driveway in a van,” Hannibal says, voice a little deeper and rougher than Will is used to. “Jack didn’t believe I would come to see you directly. Your ‘guard’ will believe he fell asleep at his post when he wakes in a few hours, and will tell no one for fear of losing his job.”

“You didn’t kill him?”

“I had hope that you would not inform Jack that I had been here. Killing him would have been difficult to explain.”

Will lets out a breath through his nose. “Why are you here?”

Hannibal’s face goes tight, and his lip trembles. “I couldn’t leave you again, Will. I—”

“Don’t,” Will says. He takes a deep breath, and it shakes more than he’d like it to. “Not right now.”

“Will I have another chance?” Hannibal counters. 

Will looks down at his hands, twisted together in his lap. He sees Hannibal’s in his peripheral vision, shifting aimlessly on his thighs. “I don’t know.”

Hannibal sighs, and it sounds shaky too. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“I don’t want you to go,” Will says, before he can stop himself. He bites his lip, hard. “I’m so tired of all of this. I’m so tired.” He shakes his head a little. “I’ve missed you so much I thought I might die of it, but I can’t keep doing this.”

Hannibal’s hand twitches toward him before settling on his own thigh, squeezing so hard his knuckles go white. “I thought I was going to die,” he says slowly. “And the only thing that made me afraid was the thought that you were going to die too, and there was nothing I could do about it. That I was helpless to save you is what caused me alarm.”

You tried to kill me yourself the day before, Will thinks. He doesn’t say it. They both know it’s true, and it doesn’t change the fact that Hannibal is being honest.  Both truths hang between them, incompatible and not incompatible at all. Will reaches over and covers Hannibal’s hand with his own, carefully prying his fingers out of their grip on his thigh. Hannibal turns his hand over and grasps Will’s fingers just as tightly. 

“You can’t stay here,” Will says finally. “If that young man is honest, he’ll call Jack and they’ll search for you. He doesn’t entirely trust me where you’re concerned.”

“Should he?”

Will’s lip quirks up just a little. “Probably not.”

“You’re right that I can’t stay. Which means the time has come for you to decide what it is that you want.” Hannibal’s gaze burns into the side of Will’s head.

“What can I have? What are my options?” Will finally looks back up at him. “I want to come with you. I wanted it then. But I can’t do that if it’s just going to be like this.”

It’s Hannibal’s turn to look down at their hands. “Can I ask you to clarify what aspect of ‘this’ it is that you cannot tolerate?”

“I can’t live in fear of you gutting me and sawing my head open,” Will says bitterly. “If we’re going to do this we can’t keep hurting each other like this.” His voice softens. “I am so tired, Hannibal. I can’t keep fighting you.”

“Alright,” Hannibal says, stroking his thumb across the back of Will’s hand. “That is not as difficult a request as you seem to imagine, Will. I want you alive and well and with me. I know that now with certainty.”

Will laughs a little, to keep himself from crying again. “Wish you’d figured it out before.”

He’s not sure what he expected, but it wasn’t Hannibal’s quiet, “Me too.”

There’s nothing to say to that. They sit in silence for another little while, Hannibal’s thumb rubbing gentle circles into Will’s skin, until Will sighs again and says, “Let’s go.”

I would like to hear.. your silence of the lambs series opinions......

series as in, the new clarice tv show that's out? haven't watched it yet. series as in, those old movies that feature anthony hopkins as hannibal lecter? surely!

fair warning, i probably dont have anything new to say that hasnt been said before, considering these are all long since classics, and my thoughts might be a little disjointed.

it's difficult to sum up opinions about it on the whole, since the movie quality honestly varies so wildly, and as i recall basically every single movie had a different director lol. also like, there's definitely a reason silence of the lambs stood out as The hannibal movie that got talked about and went into The Annals Of Film History n' all that. there's something about jodie foster's performance that's particularly electric(though that could be nostalgia talking, i suppose)

the opportunities she had, as an actress, to really show emotion on her face, like the claustrophobic close-ups we got were really intimate and interesting, added to the sense we were getting into her head. that HANNIBAL was getting into her head. i've already used the word intimate, but really, the long drawn out conversations/monologues between her and hannibal are just that-- intimate. you have to have stellar performances to pull off that much dialogue, and shots that intensely focused, where a face takes up so much of the screen. but it works! because hopkins and foster are fantastic actors, and jonathen demme is a good director.

there's a reason a lot of people didn't like the switch to julianne moore, and i would say it isnt entirely moore's fault. ridley scott, for one, is simply a different director with different ideas of shot composition, which changes how the character feels pretty drastically when the style so heavily informed your feelings for her. but also, in general, the film just kind of approaches clarice from a different angle, which is pretty bumpy territory to go into on the tail of switching your lead actress. not only is moore just really different from foster, but we've gone from this kind of invasive intimacy with hannibal probing her in confined spaces, to her being on the chase. in particular what sticks out to me is a chase sequence where she's trying to find hannibal in a crowded mall.(i think it was a mall?? its been a minute since i last watched the film haha) despite how the crowd might lead to a sense of claustrophobia, these are wide open shots with lots of spinning and movement, no time for introspective face journies. it's a chase in a totally different sense than before, and that i think is major difference in tone. which isn't to say it's a bad choice, or a loss, or that it's worse, just that it's fundamentally very different material that moore was given fo work with. of course her performance differed from fosters!

i still think jodie foster did it better, but some folks were too hard on julianne moore. if anything, hold beef with the writers and new director for pivoting tonally(although, dont do that either, i think it was an interesting shift. the scene with her and hannibal, where hannibal fries up that dude's brain was SO GOOD, i loved loved loved the return to a twisted sense of intimacy for that scene, and a few others, and that sense of return wouldn't have hit the same were the whole movie to follow the same tone as demme's work.)

also quick sidebar, when i watched hannibal(the movie from 2001) i was BLOWN AWAY by realizing, in retrospect, just how absolutely perfectly micheal pitt nailed the role of mason verger in hannibal(the tv show). vocally, he sounded almost identicle to the og performance, WHAT!!! major props, i love micheal pitt. so cool

manhunter 1987 or whatever year it came out is garbage and we dont talk about it. it was physically painful to watch. my poor mother made us stop watching hannibal movies for the rest of the day because it literally put her in physical pain. it's so 80s i want to vomit. do not recommend.

red dragon was pretty good, and if you entered the series of films armed only with knowledge of hannibal nbc, gave some really fascinating context to some of the events therein. edward norton's performance was fine-- didn't blow my mind, but i do love to watch him on screen. anthony hopkins' portrayal of a free hannibal, on the run, who still can't help but taunt the police and stick his nose into investigations was shockingly compelling, despite how much of a cliche trope that's become in recent years. can't say i recall anything interesting to say about the directing, but it certainly doesnt hold the same intimacy of the previous films-- but then again, we've lost the intimate character of clarice, swapping her out for graham(who simply isnt as close, or interesting, or compelling, when he isnt on nbc and shaking like a wet chihuahua)

hannibal rising, the last film in the series, was very very very bad. BUT, unlike manhunter 198whatever, it managed to be fun about it! lots of very goofy deaths and things to make you roll your eyes, stupid character motivations and odd acting choices. but it seems aware, on some level, that it's the last and the silliest of the entries into this particular film series, which earns it some good will. whether or not its worth a watch comes down to how much you're willing to consume everything with the name hannibal on it, and whether you can abide by a hannibal that isnt played by sir anthony hopkins.

OK. ok. we're getting to the end of my thoughts here, kids. i prommy.

it's also, despite every single part of it that i enjoy and that brings me joy, almost unforgivably racist and transphobic. the weird exotification and obsession with asia(and japan in particular), especially when none of those elements felt important or relevant to the story was consistently shocking, and consistently present in essentially every single hannibal movie, ESPECIALLY ones that dealt with his childhood. it didn't ever feel like a natural part of the story, where they happened include people from another culture or anything, it felt like the author's fetish. i never truly understood how these reoccuring themes and symbols were meant to tie in with the rest of the story, even after an entire film set in the past, showiing hannibal's childhood and how he came to live with a japanese woman. it was weird! it was uncomfortable! it was bad! even hannibal nbc couldnt make it not weird. i'd love a hannibal movie with a japanese person in it who WASNT treated really, really, really weird. but i dont think i will ever get that.

and like. wrt transphobia-- do i even need to say it? buffalo bill's been talked to death. we all know the issue there.

if a japanese person, or a trans woman, came to me and said "shawn, everyone says its a classic, but i cant bring myself to watch [insert hannibal movie here]" i would not blame them. it isnt the whole movie, but its enough to feel real bad, scoob.

its not enough to make me fall out of love with silence of the lambs, or hate hannibal(the film, god thats a confusing name), or even hate the film series, but its something that deserves tl be talked about. i've heard lots of discussion on the transphobia, but basically none on the racism, which is a real shame. sometimes it feels like no one else even noticed it, and it really leaves me floundering, because its like-- its RIGHT THERE and its so weird and bad. thomas harris, what the fuck

OKAY I THINK THATS ALL MY THOUGHTS FOR NOW?????? i could maybe come up with more, *shrugs*, but i'd need more time at least.

summary:: very problematic, and not because he eats people. but overall some of the films are fantastic, and silence of the lambs does hold a special place in my heart. and even if i didnt like it nearly as much, i'll defend hannibal(the film with julianne moore) till im blue in the face, because even if it didnt quite capture lightening in a bottle it still brought some interesting things to the table. decent enough movie series with enough variation in film tone and quality to make watching them all in a row enjoyable, because it keeps things from getting stale. (could probably have done with SOME consistency tho, lol, they were really flying by the seat of their pants. they had hopkins and that was IT, only thing that carried over from production to production lol)

Playing Dead - chapter 6

featuring the final illustration by @theseavoices​!

chapter 1: tumblr / ao3

chapter 2: tumblr / ao3

chapter 3: tumblr / ao3

chapter 4: tumblr / ao3

chapter 5: tumblr / ao3

read chapter 6 of Playing Dead below or on ao3!

They met in a small park, beneath the bough of a pink-flowering tree. The blossoms sprouted directly from the trunk, and were crushed under Will’s shoulder where he stood leaning against the bark.

Bev was visibly uncomfortable, never turning her back to Will and keeping one watchful eye on the quickest routes out of the park. Miriam was antsy, buzzing with nervous energy and an almost sick excitement. Bev had begged again that morning to just pack up their things and leave, and Miriam had again told her no.

“So why are we here?” Miriam demanded by way of greeting. “You better not be wasting our time.”

“No time wasted, I guarantee,” Will said, a little too cheerfully. “I killed Hannibal last night, like you asked. I’ve got his body sitting in a bathtub right now, for you two to inspect.” He looked at Bev and grinned. “Hard evidence.”

“Then lead the way, and let’s get this over with.”

They walked the short distance to the house in silence, and when they came to a stop in front of the door, Miriam looked up and down the street with dismay. “We walked past here yesterday, on our way to the market. Jesus.”

“Isn’t that funny?” Will remarked, as he unlocked the door and ushered them inside.

“Not really. Where’s the bathroom?”

“This way.” Will lead them up the stairs and into what was apparently the bathroom, but was in reality just a horrorshow of blood spatters and broken mirrors. “There he is. Look at him. He’s dead.”

Hannibal’s body was crumpled up in the bath, lying in a shallow pool of blood. His skin was cold and pale, and it didn’t bounce back when Miriam pushed her fingers against it.

He looked small in the tub, arms crushed up against his chest and legs folded at an odd angle. It seemed absurd to Miriam that this inert lump of flesh and bone had been the cause of so much grief; people spoke of the Chesapeake Ripper as they might speak of the Devil himself, and yet here he was, apparently dead like any other mortal man.

She held her hand in front of Hannibal’s slackened mouth, and counted out sixty seconds. Then she took his wrist and felt for a pulse. No breath. No beat.

It was too easy, and Miriam mistrusted it instantly.

“I don’t believe you,” she said. “You’re playing with us.”

For a long moment, Will said nothing. He looked from Miriam to Beverly, at their drawn faces and the sag of their shoulders. He couldn’t blame them for trying, just as he couldn’t blame the sun for rising or the stars for wheeling in the sky. Their journey here was inevitable, their attempt to finish this was inevitable, and Will’s countermove was, like dominoes falling one after the other, inevitable. It was who they were. They were all doing the only things they knew how to do.

“Always,” Will said, and then Hannibal rose.

There was one horrible, sickening moment where it seemed to Will that he had failed yet again, that Hannibal was just caught in the throes of the blood that brought him back from death, and that soon enough the effects would wane and disappear as quickly as they had begun, to leave him a weak and powerless human once again. But as time stretched and slowed and stopped, Will stared wildly at the mirrors that lined the walls, at the pinking of Hannibal’s skin and the unfurling of his limbs, and then he felt it: the soul-deep pull, the ancient, howling call of like to like, of blood to blood. Hannibal was changed.

Time suddenly came crashing back up to speed, and everyone was moving at once: Miriam, desperate and unthinking, lunged for Hannibal, while Bev tried to grab at her arm and pull her back. Hannibal spun to face them, hands already coming up ready to fight and fangs sliding out ready to bite. But Will could move faster than any of them, and he got to Hannibal first. He scooped up one of the large blood-stained towels from the floor and flung it over Hannibal’s head, then clamped his arms around Hannibal’s arms and chest and pulled him backwards from the tub.

Miriam shoved Bev away and vaulted across the bath, frantically trying to get a hold of the towel and drag Hannibal back. Everything else in her field of vision blurred and faded away until the only thing she could see was Hannibal, struggling against his restraints as Will hauled him out of the door and out of reach. They couldn’t be allowed to make it out of the house. Miriam couldn’t bear the thought that she might fail, that she would have to live the rest of her life with not just Hannibal rattling around inside her head, but Will too; the true horror of what he was capable of would twist up with the memory of the quiet man who sat in her office until she couldn’t separate one from the other and the whole of her mind was tainted with it.

She screamed then, long and loud, a sound of utter desperate refusal. This couldn’t be the end, it wouldn’t, she would chase them to the ends of the fucking earth if she had to, and she was already closing in, skidding on the smooth parquet floor of the hallway, she just needed to go a little faster, grasp a little harder, catch them and stop them and get them out, out, out--

The floor suddenly came rushing up to meet her, and Miriam found herself pinned face down and thrashing beneath two strong arms and a shaking, sobbing body.

“Get off, Bev, I can still get them, I can still win--”

“Stop! Please! Stop it!” Bev cried, digging her fingers harder into Miriam’s flesh and forcing her body back against the floor when she tried to rise.

“But I need to-- I have to--”

“No! No more! I can’t keep doing this, Miriam, I can’t, it’s too much, you’re too much…” She pushed her forehead against Miriam’s nape, and her tears fell freely onto the skin of her neck. “I don’t recognise you. Where have you gone?”

“I’m here,” Miriam said, though she wasn’t sure if even believed the words herself.

“No you’re not. They took you and I can’t get you back. You don’t want to come back.” Bev loosened her grip, and then rolled off of Miriam entirely and just lay on the floor next to her, staring up at the ceiling through a film of tears. “I could’ve dealt with the rest of it. The shit I saw in his basement. The fact that my colleague was a fucking… fuck! A fucking vampire! I could’ve done the therapy. The mandatory time off. I would’ve signed any non-disclosure they slapped in front of me and then I would’ve got on with pulling their claws out of my skin one by one and just leaving it all in the fucking dust.” Bev wiped the back of her hand roughly over her eyes and took a huge, gasping breath. “But Hannibal sank his claws into you, and then Will sank his in right alongside. You never even tried to pull them out. They were in there so long, you were scared who you would be without them. You got them hooked right round your heart.”

And then Miriam began to cry, silently, two or three salt tears that welled up and fell to the floor to soak into her hair. It was the first time she’d cried in years, but it didn’t feel like a release, didn’t feel like anything at all except more of the same flat, dull ache that had been inside her all this time. Speaking into the floor, so muffled that Bev could barely hear it, Miriam said, “He kept me for so long, and then one day he just threw me back into the world. It didn’t mean anything to him. He cut my arm off for fun. I convinced myself there must be some reason why, but there wasn’t. I was just a footnote in his story. Why can’t I let him go?”

Bev curled around Miriam’s quietly heaving body, and they lay there on the floor together well into the evening. When eventually they moved, neither had the energy to make it back to their hotel room. They spent the night in Hannibal and Will’s house, swaddled in blankets on the living room floor, the dark panelled walls and the heavy stench of blood closing in around them to swallow them whole.

Dr. Chilton’s Date

“Anonymous Request:

I just discovered your stories and I *love* them! Could I get a fluffy Chilton story based off the prompt "Just pretend to be my date"???”

I loved this idea and started writing immediately. Dr. Chilton doesn’t get enough love, in my opinion, so it was fun to think about how he might actually catch a break, for once. Lol. 

Anyway, before I give away too much about the story, here we go!

There Dr. Chilton stood, his eyes scanning the room. Analyzing the aggregate of the guests attending Dr. Lecter’s most recent soiree. Positively boring, the whole lot. Then again, he tended to find all people who didn’t wish to kill him rather dull. He let out a single chuckle at the thought.

When did I become such a masochist? He thought, raising his glass to his lips and taking a sip through the remnants of his smirk.

“Enjoying yourself?” Dr. Lecter addressed Frederick with a droll smile. Frederick nearly choked on his drink, he was taken so off guard. Hannibal Lecter had a way of sneaking up on people that Dr. Chilton found to be completely unparalleled. Then again, Dr. Lecter was unparalleled in nearly every regard, Frederick thought resentfully.

“Ah, yes.” He responded once he’d taken a split second to regain his composure. “Quite the party you’ve got going on here.”

“I haven’t seen your date.” Dr. Lecter observed, cold eyes trained on Frederick with a pitying expression. It was then that Frederick remembered he’d RSVP’d that he would be bringing a plus-one. It wasn’t so much that he thought he’d have a date as it was that he refused to let Dr. Lecter know he’d be attending yet another of his parties solo.

“Neither have I.” Frederick laughed halfheartedly. “She must be running late.” He felt the cold eyes continue to examine him for a few powerful moments before Dr. Lecter’s expression lightened with a smile.

“Well, she’d better hurry, or she’ll miss dinner.” He winked. As Lecter walked away, Frederick felt himself exhale. There was a certain intensity that he exuded, which Frederick couldn’t quite explain. It always put him on edge. He downed the rest of his drink and approached the bar, knowing he’d need some more liquid encouragement to make it through the rest of the night.

To be honest, Frederick wasn’t entirely sure why he kept coming to these things, he admitted to himself as he reached the bar, carefully measuring another glass of red wine, filling it to the brim.

“Now that’s how you pour a glass of wine.” Said a woman’s voice from beside him. She chuckled, and irritated, he turned to face her. When his eyes fell upon her, he froze. She was positively divine. He took half a beat to recover his thoughts and cleared his throat.

“Yes, well, I need it to get through a party as pretentious as this one.” He said bitterly, before taking a large gulp. The woman laughed again, and the sound was so pleasant, it had an almost musical quality to it.

“I agree.” She said, accepting the bottle from Frederick as he offered it to her. It made an amusing glug-glug-glug as she quickly emptied the remainder of its contents into her glass. She turned to the crowd to people-watch. It was her favorite part of any party. “Anyone interesting here tonight? Because I’ve seen not-a-one.”

“Neither did I, until you showed up.” Frederick offered as a subtle flirtation. Or perhaps, it wasn’t so subtle. What if she was put off by it? He regretted his choice of words almost instantly. She offered no verbal response, but a small smile tugged at her lips and her gaze fell upon him from the corners of her eyes.  

“Sweet of you.” She responds. “I’m Ana. What should I call you, Mister…?”

“Doctor.” Frederick corrected. “Doctor Frederick Chilton.” He offered her his free hand.

“Ooh, a doctor.” Ana said, eyebrows raised. There was a lilt to her voice when she said the word ‘doctor,’ and it made Frederick unsure as to whether it was intended as flattery or mockery. “What kind of doctor?”

“Doctor of psychiatry. I’m the administrator for a hospital for the criminally insane. The criminal mind is fascinating.”

“Mmm.” Her voice had that same lilt to it, and she took another sip of wine. He cleared his throat.

“Yes, well. It’s not as impressive as it sounds.” He replied hurriedly, not wanting to seem too infatuated with himself.

“You don’t have to seem so modest.” She interjected. “With an important position like that, you’re allowed to brag.” The pace of Frederick’s heart quickened. She was an unusual woman, indeed. Usually, women found him rather pretentious. He turned his head, looking across the room for some sort of idea of how to respond and saw that Dr. Lecter was headed in his direction once more. He quickly whipped his head around and looked at Ana. His eyes darted to the wine glass in her left hand. No ring on her finger. Perfect.

“I know we’ve only just met, but can I ask you to do something for me?” He muttered hurriedly. Ana’s brow furrowed in confusion, but she nodded.

“Sure. Within reason.”

“Could you just…pretend to be my date?” Ana’s eyes darted to where Frederick had gazed off across the room just prior to his request. Quickly, she noticed Dr. Lecter’s form approaching, and she understood.

“Just follow my lead.”

Frederick nodded gratefully.

Suddenly, she threw her arms around his shoulders, running her hands through his hair. Then, she leaned into him and pressed her lips to his. Shocked, it took him a moment to realize that he should kiss back, but he recovered smoothly. He kissed slowly, tenderly. Like he’d been in love with her his entire life. She, however, slipped her hands down, then pulled him closer into her by his necktie, and her tongue slipped into his mouth. Taken aback yet again, he moaned his reaction, though it was muffled by her enthusiastic kisses. At once, it was as if nothing else in the world existed but the two of them, and the sensation of his heart pounding wildly in his chest.

That feeling didn’t last long, however, as a man cleared his throat nearby. Ana slowly released her grip of Frederick’s necktie and smoothed down the front of his suit jacket before she stepped aside, turning to face the source of the intrusive noise. One hand slipped across his low back and rested itself on his waist, and she smiled brightly.

“Sorry, am I hoarding Frederick’s attention all to myself? I just can’t help myself, sometimes. He’s such a busy man, I find it hard to spend enough time with him!” She gave a shy little chuckle, but she knew exactly what she was doing. Frederick found himself in awe of her performance. He tore his eyes away from her to look at Dr. Lecter. Beside him stood Will Graham and Jack Crawford, who had apparently just arrived. Late, as always.

“You’re Dr. Chilton’s date.” Said Jack, though it sounded more like a question than a statement.

“Oh, my goodness. Has Frederick not told you about me?” Ana asked, turning to him and giving him a frown of indignation. He opened his mouth once to say something, but before he could come up with anything, she turned her head back to the three men in front of them. She reached out and grasped Jack’s hand firmly, giving it a shake.

“I’m Ana. And, yes. I am his date.” She met his eye and spoke with confidence. Frederick grew fascinated by how easily and convincingly Ana was able to lie to people she’d never met before. She was a force to reckoned with, that was for sure.

“Jack Crawford.” Jack introduced himself. He seemed satisfied at her solid handshake, and she turned to Will, in much the same manner.

“Will Graham.” He introduced himself quietly. Then she turned to Dr. Lecter.

“And you’re our host, if I’m not mistaken?” She asked, grasping his hand firmly, as well.

“You’re certainly not mistaken.” Dr. Lecter responded with a charming smile, though it didn’t reach his cold, calculating eyes. His smiles never did. “I must confess, when I received Dr. Chilton’s RSVP saying he’d be bringing a plus-one, I assumed he was only bluffing to save face.” Frederick made a fist at his side, then released it, sliding the hand to rest on Ana’s hip.

“Well, as it turns out, you’re not right about everything.” He said smugly, lifting a self-satisfied brow as he watched Dr. Lecter’s expression grow darker. God, it felt good to prove him wrong, just once. The smile returned to Lecter’s face nearly as quickly as it’d faded.

“It appears you’re right about that.” He conceded with false humility, before turning and walking away.

“It was nice to meet you, Ana.” Jack said with a smile and a nod, before following Dr. Lecter. Will simply gave a single wave and did the same. After the group was out of earshot, Ana turned to Frederick.

“How was I?” She asked with a bright smile and a chuckle. Frederick put a hand on each shoulder and beamed with happiness.

“You were amazing.” He said gratefully. “You’re a great actor.”

“Obviously.” She said, rolling her eyes playfully. “I meant my kissing.”

“Oh.” Frederick responded, a blush rising in his cheeks. “Um, very great.” Ana stepped closer to Frederick, smiling knowingly at his bashful response. She took his necktie gently in her hand once more.

“You wanna do it again?” She looked up into his eyes, tweaking a brow suggestively. He stammered nervously for a moment before finally being able to muster a quiet ‘yes.’

As Ana’s lips pressed against his once more, Frederick felt grateful, for the first time, that he’d been invited to one of Dr. Lecter’s parties. He’d have to send him a thank you card later, he thought, smirking, before kissing her back deeply.

The Best TV Comedies of 2020

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Have we ever been in more need of a laugh than in 2020? Amidst a historic global pandemic, a tumultuous American political election, civil unrest, wildfires, MURDER HORNE… alright, you get the picture. 2020 has been the pits, man. Thankfully, this year from hell featured some bright spots on television, even if rays of sunshine were sorely lacking in reality.

If the shows on our list weren’t making us laugh, we would have been ugly-crying since March. While we were all locked in our homes, we got reacclimated with the Warner Brothers (and sister), said goodbye to BoJack Horseman, and met regular human bartender Jackie Daytona, making quarantine a bit more bearable, if only in 30 minute increments. From brand new series like How To with John Wilson, to swan songs for Den of Geek favorites like Schitt’s Creek, TV comedies in 2020 kept us cackling through the chaos.

To determine the best TV comedy of 2020 in a particularly stacked, diverse year, we polled 12 Den of Geek staffers and contributors. Below, you’ll find our honorable mentions and our list of the series most likely to raise your mood in the darkest year of our adventures.

Honorable Mentions

The following shows received votes but just missed out on the top 20: 

Ramy, Never Have I Ever, Feel Good, The Great, Avenue 5, The Duchess, Staged, Famalam, Inside No. 9, Ghosts, The Shivering Truth, Bob’s Burgers, Katy Keene

DEN OF GEEK TOP 20 COMEDIES OF 2020

20 – Big Mouth (Netflix)

How long can a show about puberty, a very specific time in the life cycle, remain viable? Well based on the fourth season of Netflix’s animated comedy Big Mouth, just about as long as it wants to. Big Mouth season 4 succeeds by finding new avenues to delve into the psyches of its young characters going through chaaaaanges. In the process it also finds ways to expand its storytelling capabilities, delving into issues of trans youth, code switching, and anxiety. Through it all it remains as hilarious, and disturbingly vivid, as ever. – Alec Bojalad

19 – The Eric Andre Show (Adult Swim)

It’s not like Eric Andre reinvented the wheel or anything with the fifth season of his anarchic, absurdist talk show. If you were never a fan of anti-comedy that centers heavily around duping random people on the street, gross-out gags, and the torture of unsuspecting guests, then you’re not going to start liking it now.

However, for those of us already onboard The Eric Andre Show train, it’s no small feat that, five seasons in, this is still one of the funniest shows on TV. You’d think by now Eric would’ve run out of guests who have no idea what they’re in for, but, no, there’s an all-new batch of naive celebrities whose lives are effortlessly worsened by Eric, his crew, and his new house band. You’d assume he couldn’t prank people on the streets of New York City and Newark, New Jersey anymore because he’d be recognized by now, but, no, he pisses off a lot of people and breaks a lot of other people’s brains with ever-inventive, bizarre, obnoxious pranks. 

Finally, you might think the series would suffer irrevocably from the departure of co-host Hannibal Buress only two episodes into the season, but Eric demonstrates he’s more than capable of spreading chaos all on his own (though he’s sometimes assisted, alternatingly, by a Hannibal clone named Blannibal, comedian Felipe Esparza, and Screen Actors Guild Awards nominee Lakeith Stanfield). Season five is the same The Eric Andre Show as it ever was, but that still makes me laugh harder than anything else on television right now. I’d be happy for Eric to keep making this show forever. – Joe Matar

18 – Saved by the Bell (Peacock)

A Saved by the Bell reboot shouldn’t have worked. But as Peacock’s recent series showcased, with the right creative team and angle, you really can successfully reimagine an outdated but beloved ’90s teen comedy for 2020. Working as both a soft reboot and sequel, this is meta-comedy at its best. Saved by the Bell is fully aware of what made the original special and why they don’t still make shows like it now. Juxtaposing those two competing views through the lens of the privileged and perfect Bayside kids and the new normal students makes this an accessible and seriously funny series with a biting humor rarely seen in teen comedy. – Rosie Knight 

17 – Everything’s Gonna Be Okay (Freeform)

Australian comedian Josh Thomas brings his off-kilter sensibility to a loving and sharply funny portrait of a modern family in Everything’s Gonna Be Okay. In the pilot, Thomas’s character Nicholas, a gay twentysomething from Australia, visits his father in the US and learns that his physically and emotionally distant dad is dying. Things really pick up as Nicholas steps up to care for his two teenage half-sisters, Matilda (Kayla Cromer) and Genevieve (Maeva Press), while also trying to date, and manage his melodramatic mother from the other side of the planet. 

Matilda especially comes into her own as she hopes to go to college away from home next year— something others doubt since she’s autistic. Her autism is a reality that becomes part of the fabric of the show, a setup rather than a punchline. Few shows would include a teenage threesome that manages to be funny, heartfelt, and matter-of-fact, but in Matilda’s world, sex (and exploring her sexuality) are often all three. Everything’s Gonna Be Okay is a family show that acknowledges the realities of family: death, disabilities, teenage girls with sex drives, and laughter at funerals. – Delia Harrington 

16 – Star Trek: Lower Decks (CBS All Access)

Created by one of the writer/producers of Rick and Morty, it’s no surprise that the first episode of Lower Decks involved some pretty broad humor and wildly out of control situations. The producers of the 1970s Star Trek: The Animated Series understood the creative potential of animation when they replaced Ensign Chekov with a giant cat, and Lower Decks follows suit, the pilot giving us blood, guts, gore, zombies and a giant spider, all in Rick and Morty’s madcap tone.

As the show has developed over its first ten episodes, though, it’s become something more than that. The knowing humor is a delight—the focus on things like “second contact” (the less glamorous setting up of diplomatic relations after first contact), ascensions to a higher plane of existence gone wrong, and re-visiting half-forgotten alien races like the Pakleds shows the same sort of gently teasing love of the franchise that Galaxy Quest did. But the characters have also developed into real, complex people to the point that a character death is genuinely moving, and the audience are really able to care about what happens to these essential cogs in Starfleet’s machine next. – Juliette Harrison 

15 – Solar Opposites (Hulu)

A big part of what makes Rick and Morty so great is that, in addition to all the sci-fi hijinks, there’s meaningful development of the show’s characters and world. Unfortunately, as the series has progressed, this is also what’s dragged it down. As Rick’s nihilism has increasingly alienated the people around him, a lot of the fun has been lost. The show still puts out the occasional brilliant episode (for example, the season four finale), but it almost feels like all the characters on Rick and Morty straight-up hate each other and watching it can be kind of a drag sometimes.

It’s such a treat then, to see all that fun sci-fi silliness rebirthed in the form of Solar Opposites, co-created by Justin Roiland and Mike McMahan (Rick and Morty co-creator and writer/producer, respectively). Making good use of all the storytelling lessons they learned from their other sci-fi cartoon show, the two have released a confident and consistently funny debut season. Though it feels awfully similar to Rick and Morty at first blush, it has more in common with classic sitcoms, with its focus on goofy, self-contained plots about the alien family at the show’s center. However, the series shakes the sitcom formula up a lot with a surprising dedication to callbacks and continuity, most notably exemplified by the continuing, dramatic tribulations of a community of people who have been shrunken down and forced to live in the aliens’ multilevel terrarium. The combination of madcap sci-fi alien plots contrasted with the trials of the melodramatic dystopian shrunken-people world makes Solar Opposites one of the most inventive comedies of the season, and I’m excited to find out where it’s going next. – Joe Matar

14 – Dave (FX) 

There are countless hip-hop artists whose backstories would make for compelling television. So why did FX choose to spotlight a goofball white rapper from the suburbs with a mediocre penis joke for a stage name? It takes only one episode to realize any preconceived notions about Dave, based on the life and rap career of Dave Burd, aka Lil Dickey, should be spit from your silly mouth faster than Lil Dickey spits bars on a freestyle. 

A telling sign that Dave was going to be a sleeper hit was the involvement of co-creator Jeff Schaffer, a longtime EP and writer on Curb Your Enthusiasm and the creator of FX’s The League. Together Schaffer and Burd mapped out a first season that sees Dave navigate the early stages of his music career with a level of narcissism he believes is needed to be taken seriously in the rap game. But the series also shows another side of Dave, self-deprecating in a surprisingly endearing way, rarely swayed by what others think, and frustratingly true to himself and the path he sees for his life. This is FX’s star vehicle for Burd, but the show manages to make him the center of the universe while still developing key players in his life as the season progresses, giving each character an affecting spotlight episode. The standouts include episodes about Dave’s real-life friend and hype man GaTa and his struggles with bipolar disorder, the evolving managerial relationship with his roommate (Andrew Santino), and how sudden fame begins to erode a once promising relationship with his girlfriend, Ali (Taylor Misiak). 

Already renewed for season 2 and a ratings hit with FX/Hulu reporting high streaming numbers, Dave is no longer an underdog and will carry a new set of expectations as the titular character’s career ascends. If you’re still a skeptic, you need to adhere to television’s golden rule when it comes to Dave: Don’t judge it until you binge it. – Chris Longo

13 – Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Fox)

At only 13 episodes, Season 7 was the shortest season yet of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, but it packed a lot into those 13 half-hours. With Melissa Fumero pregnant in real life, the writers used this to cover six months in series by following Jake and Amy’s attempts to conceive a baby, helping those limited episodes to feel like they were filling out more time. The show has also struggled to work in its annual Halloween Heist episodes since moving to NBC and being put into a winter start slot, but in 2020 Rosa managed to triple her victory by engineering Heists on not just Halloween, but Valentine’s Day and Easter as well.

Season 7 aired too early to deal with the Black Lives Matter protests that dominated the summer of 2020, but the writers have already pulled all their planned scripts for Season 8 and re-written them in light of those events, so that is yet to come. 2020 had a little bit of everything that makes B99 great—a dose of Pimento, Jake and his daddy issues, Holt’s adorable corgi Cheddar, and one final appearance from his nemesis Madeline Wuntch. For once, the season didn’t end with Holt somehow being removed from his job as Captain of the 99, but there’s still plenty to look forward to in Season 8—maybe 2021 will be the year that Charles Boyle finally wins the Halloween/Valentine’s Day/Easter/Cinco de Mayo Heist? – Juliette Harrison

12 – Animaniacs (Hulu)

Rampant remakes and sequel reboots have turned into the norm, but streaming services have especially embraced this idea as a way to anchor a library of programming. These endeavors are extremely hit or miss, but Hulu’s revival of Animaniacs is one of the few exceptions that feel justified for a return. Animaniacs always functioned as a radical cocktail of perversions of pop culture and classic comedy and 2020’s Animaniacs actively thrives with decades’ worth of new material to lampoon. The series has stripped itself back to its basics and temporarily removed most of the old supporting players, except for Pinky and the Brain, but this allows Animaniacs to build itself back up and establish new recurring characters and segments.

There’s such clear joy present in Animaniacs, whether it’s from the voice actors, the creative staff, or the animation team. Segments like an unauthorized Russian version of the Animaniacs or catchy songs about Shakespeare and the different First Ladies of America prove that the classic series’ sense of humor has successfully been maintained. If anything, the cartoon is even more fearless. It’s the perfect burst of ‘90s Saturday Morning nostalgia that’s also exceptionally funny and thought provoking. – Daniel Kurland 

11 – Rick and Morty (Adult Swim)

Rick and Morty is a colossal behemoth of storytelling that’s developed a fascinating and often antagonistic relationship with its audience. 2020’s Rick and Morty content only includes five episodes from the second half of the show’s fourth season, but they’re some of the series’ wildest installments when it comes to storytelling, perpetual jokes, and the show’s ability to deconstruct itself and its fandom. The series Emmy-winning “Vat of Acid Episode” explores the emotional highs and lows of “save states” while “Never Ricking Morty,” the show’s “Story Train” episode, is perhaps the most structure-obsessed piece of television that’s ever been written.

Rick and Morty continues to expand its universe in exciting ways and allow its characters to realistically mature. These episodes provide fascinating insight on both Rick’s relationship with Morty as well as his bond with Beth. Even Jerry and Summer get their moments to shine and Rick and Morty feels more like an ensemble than ever before as it prepares to shake things up even more in season five. – Daniel Kurland

10 – Aunty Donna’s Big Ol’ House of Fun (Netflix)

In 2019, Netflix gave us I Think You Should Leave, the sketch comedy series from Tim Robinson that birthed memes that somehow only get more relevant (and funnier) as time goes on. In 2020, Netflix, likely mindful they needed to hold us over until Robinson finishes filming season 2, gave us a gift from down under called Aunty Donna’s Big Ol’ House of Fun. If you liked Robinson’s sketch series, imagine that on crack, dialed up to 100, and featuring the three silliest Australian dudes to ever walk on that continent. The series stars Mark Bonanno, Broden Kelly, and Zachary Ruane, a group of friends who formed a comedy group called Aunty Donna and gained a large following on YouTube with their absurdist humor that features simple premises that often descend into frenetic madness. See: them explaining how a board game works or doing roll call at school. 

In Big Ol’ House of Fun, the series opens with a musical number that will have you wondering whether everything’s a drum. Episode 2 will change the way you think about your morning coffee. Friendly faces like Scott Aukerman and Ed Helms (or is it “Egg” Helms?) even stop by just to play ball. Through its infectious and (mostly) good-natured absurdist energy, the series lives up to its name with endlessly quotable and memable sketches. And much like I Think You Should Leave, Aunty Donna material only gets better when you rewatch it. Here’s to hoping Netflix will let us come back and visit this Big Ol’ House again for season 2. – Chris Longo

9 – Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet (Apple TV+)

Created by Rob McElhenney, David Hornsby, and Megan Ganz of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia fame, Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet is a new Apple TV+ comedy that easily justifies a subscription to the streaming service. Set within a video game studio for a popular MMORPG, Mythic Quest leans into certain workplace comedy tropes, but never feels derivative of the genre or that it’s just Always Sunny with a fresh coat of paint. The comedy effectively explores and skewers gaming culture, but a knowledge of the industry is not at all necessary to enjoy the program. 

Smart and creative scripts are punctuated by the show’s phenomenal cast, which features the likes of McElhenney, Hornsby, and Danny Pudi. However, Charlotte Nicdao’s work as Poppy Li, the studio’s neurotic perfectionist lead engineer, is a revelation. Mythic Quest works so well because of how it grounds its quick comedy in powerful character dynamics. The series’ “standalone” flashback episode, “A Dark Quiet Death,” received a ton of acclaim, but there are few episodes of television from 2020 that contain more heart and honesty than the series’ quarantine-centric installment. – Daniel Kurland

8- Search Party (HBO Max)

HBO Max’s first bingeable, bonafide hit was outsourced from TBS. After languishing on basic cable with critical praise but low viewership, Search Party made the move to the new Warner streaming service for Season 3 and proved that the series was the perfect “watch it all in one afternoon” comedy. What began as a comedic mystery series about a group of prototypical Brooklyn millenials on a quest to find their missing former classmate shifted in its third season to become a satire on celebrity trials and how tabloid spotlight can turn unassuming people into sociopathic narcissists.

Search Party’s strength is in its ensemble. Alia Shawkat brings an interesting vulnerability to disaffected Dory, but her other “searchers” are the real bright spots. John Reynolds is perfectly cast as the de facto worthless millennial “beta male,” and John Early and Meredith Hagner are consistently laugh out loud funny as self-obsessed, attention seeking airheads. Search Party has a twisty, interesting plot, but it’s also a scathing indictment on an entire generation obsessed with celebrity, self-analyzation, and searching for “meaning.” If you have not yet watched one of the year’s funniest shows, get caught up before Season 4 debuts in January 2021.  – Nick Harley

7- How To with John Wilson (HBO)

Life is strange. If you take a moment to actually watch and analyze many of the seemingly ordinary, day-to-day things you witness while walking down the street in a major U.S. city, you’ll be shocked at how alien it can all appear. In New York City in particular, every imaginable human behavior is on display somewhere, and documentarian John Wilson is out there capturing it all on camera. How To With John Wilson may seem like a series designed to teach you useful everyday skills like how to split a check or how to improve your memory, but in reality, it’s a love letter to New York, in all of its beautiful, ugly, life-affirming, and soul-crushing splendor.

It’s also insanely hilarious. Wilson’s deadpan, stammering narration on top of quick cut, slice of life footage is an endlessly watchable setup-punchline joke machine. Wilson also is wise to go down the rabbit hole and follow weird digressions wherever they lead him, like a Mandela Effect conference or the home of an anti-circumcision activist. Further, the series finale is the first piece of television to fully capture the reality of post-pandemic city life, putting to shame all of those half-assed Zoom created depictions of life in 2020. Few shows can effortlessly glide between cringe comedy and poignant moments like this. How To with John Wilson is unlike any other show on television, an absurdist masterpiece that makes the mundane feel surreal and vice versa. – Nick Harley

6- High Fidelity (Hulu)

In a time full of reboots and remakes, High Fidelity earned its existence and then some. To its many admirers, it warranted a second season for more eclectic music choices, guest stars, and beautiful lingering shots over the credits. Sadly, that is not meant to be. Hulu’s High Fidelity is so much more than just a gender-swapped adaptation, though Zoe Kravitz leads the endeavor in the lead role of Rob, the idiosyncratic record store owner counting off Top 5s, especially her Top 5 heartbreaks. 

Rob’s rich world is full of characters we’d love to spend more time with, like snarky Cherise, she of the eclectic taste who keeps putting off her musical dreams for “someday.” Or Simon, Rob’s ex and current best friend, who narrates an episode that completely changes how the audience views Rob. Zoe Kravitz carries this beautiful mood piece, sharing chemistry with just about everyone. While it seems relaxed and fun on arrival, High Fidelity eventually reveals itself to have plenty to say about being accountable for our actions and allowing oneself to be happy, before wrapping Rob in a warm summer night and sending her on her way. – Delia Harrington 

5- Pen15 (Hulu)

The debut season of Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle’s brilliant series in which they, two adult women, play middle-schoolers surrounded by actual kid actors playing their classmates, was, in my opinion, the funniest show last year, but, as I didn’t actually get around to watching it until this year, I didn’t know that at the time. Rectifying my past mistake, this year—despite the fact it’s only aired half a season so far due to production being halted by COVID—it’s not just my favorite comedy, it’s my favorite show, period.

Though it still has its fair share of laugh-out-loud moments, the comedy in the second season has, admittedly, been scaled back a bit, but it makes perfect sense for where Pen15 is right now. From the start, what the series has done painfully well is zero in on the utter nightmare of living through our stressful and confusing pubescent years. As the series deepens its exploration of these characters’ experiences with friendship, romance, sexuality, the internet, and the impact of divorce, the stress and confusion should and absolutely do ratchet up. This season is also doing a great job of further developing the show’s side characters, with a standout arc for Dylan Gage as Gabe, who is grappling with the discovery that he may be gay. Though it’s still a hilarious series in places, Pen15 most wins me over most for how uncomfortable and tragic it can be with its stunningly well-observed depiction of surviving junior high. The secondhand shame and embarrassment you’ll feel makes it one of the toughest, but most worthwhile, watches of the year. – Joe Matar

4 – Ted Lasso (Apple TV+)

Jason Sudeikis’s Ted Lasso first originated as a character back in 2013, when NBC Sports commissioned a commercial for its upcoming coverage of the English Premier League. “An American Coach in London” introduced the concept of an American football coach deciding to try his hand coaching “the other football” with top flight club Tottenham Hotspur. It was a hilarious five minute clip that seemingly exploited the “fish out of water” concept to its natural conclusion.

The character seemed destined to be a one-off goof. But then Sudeikis and producer Bill Lawrence decided to try their hand at the overmatched coach one more time with a series for Apple TV+. The end result was one of the most essential new comedies of the 2020 TV season. Ted Lasso works because its’ funny, first and foremost. The show proves that this fish still had plenty of more time to spend out of water after all. More important, however, is how aggressively wholesome and optimistic it is. In a year that saw ugly Americans all over over TV screens, Ted Lasso represented the stars and bars the only way he knew how: by believing in the best of people from aging football star Roy Kent, to selfish young buck Jamie Tart, to even the woman who got him this job in the first place as an elaborate revenge plot.  – Alec Bojalad

3 – Schitt’s Creek (Pop)

If Schitt’s Creek were a fairy tale (and in all the best ways, it is), it’d be about a group of puppets brought to life by a magic spell. When the Roses lose their fortune, they’re forced to swap wealth and glamour for unfashionable small-town living. They start out wooden, obnoxious and alone. Then, over six seasons, we watch them transform into a flesh and blood family who figure out how to love each other in a community that’s as weird as they are, and that ends up loving them back. 

If that sounds schmaltzy, then I’m saying it wrong. Schitt’s Creek doesn’t do schmaltz. It does smart and absurd and naughty. It does jokes and brightness and kindness. Or it did, because now it’s gone. 2020 waved Johnny, Moira, David and Alexis off with a final season packed with treats: Patrick’s spray tan, David’s bed-wetting, the world premiere of “The Crows Have Eyes III: The Crowening”, Moira officiating a wedding dressed in a Rapunzel wig and pearlised bishop’s mitre…

However painful it was to say goodbye, the alternative – another six seasons with diminishing returns – would have been much worse. Dan and Eugene Levy’s sitcom went out on a high, with a finale that left fans in joyful tears. Not least for moments like the one in which a usually armoured-by-sarcasm David tells his sister, “For what it’s worth, I am continuously impressed by you.” The feeling’s mutual, Roses. – Louisa Mellor

2- BoJack Horseman (Netflix)

Though BoJack Horseman premiered only the back half of its final season in 2020, those eight episodes were some of the best dramatic and comedic storytelling on television this year. This final season operated as almost a microcosm of the series’ entire run. Just like the show’s beginning, season 6B begins with BoJack in a place of relative stability. He has just finished rehab and is prepared to embark on a career as an acting professor at Wesleyan. Of course, something from his past has to pop up to shatter his fragile equilibrium, just like it always does. In this case, it’s a pair of journalists working on a story of what really happened the night Sarah Lynn died back in season 3. What follows is as sadly predictable as it is tragic… also there are jokes!

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BoJack Horseman has been a frequently occurring item on many of our year-end best-of lists since the show first premiered in 2014. And each time, it’s hard not to continually expound upon what a bizarre, touching, and incisive drama Rapahel Bob-Waksberg’s animated creation is. That temptation remains for this final season, which is as devastating as they come. But this year, for the show’s final appearance on any of our best-of lists, let’s not lose sight of how funny this all is. 

Yes, this is an exploration of the human condition and how the only way to repair our damage is to acknowledge it and then put in the work to get better. It’s also the show where Mr. Peanutbutter, his fiancée Pickles Aplenty, and international pop superstar Joey Pogo open up a Lazy Susan/small plate restaurant called “Elifino.” The animation remains just as bright in this final season, the dialogue just as witty and convoluted, and the background jokes just as rewarding. BoJack Horseman season 6 shoulders a grand narrative burden of closing out the story of the world’s most miserable Horseman. That it is able to do so is remarkable. That it’s able to do so while maintaining its sharp sense of humor is even better. – Alec Bojalad 

1- What We Do in the Shadows (FX)

Adapting a beloved indie comedy film to the small screen seems a near impossible task. But when Taika Waititi convinced Jemaine Clement they should do exactly that, it was a stroke of genius. With Waititi busy on his Marvel movies, Clement was left to write and produce the FX series alongside Stefani Robinson and Paul Simms. What We Do in the Shadows began with a solidly silly first season but came into its own during a stellar second season which leaned into the absurdity innate to the idea of ancient vampire roommates. The series has also given us a new action hero for the ages in Harvey Guillén’s Guillermo de la Cruz. 

What makes season two so excellent is the writing and performances that play on the fish out of water setup the show has so much fun with. In “The Curse,” Nandor checks his email and discovers a chain email from Bloody Mary. Most of the hilarious runtime focuses on the crew trying to uncurse themselves. It sounds simple but it is honestly one of the funniest episodes of TV you’ll watch all year. “The Curse” is only topped by “On the Run,” which allows Matt Berry to go full Matt Berry as Laszlo leaves the nest and becomes a bartender, Jackie Daytona, who loves girls volleyball in smalltown America. It’s a pitch perfect riff on feel good sports movies while also being hysterically funny. It’s still a complete crime that Robinson didn’t win the Emmy for this one. 

But the real power of What We Do in the Shadows is its heart. Even within the broad comedy, genre parodies, and often gross out humor, this is a show about love, family, and friendship. Guillermo’s arc feels radical and boundary-pushing. It’s so well built in from the very first season that it’s also incredibly satisfying. This is the kind of comedy we need more of: inclusive, intelligent, and most importantly just really, really, f**king funny.  – Rosie Knight

The post The Best TV Comedies of 2020 appeared first on Den of Geek.

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Nothing Good Can Come Out of This

// Trigger warning of self harm!! This was something that I thought about for a long time and worked on it for maybe longer. It helped with dealing with my emotions and helped me with getting through the day. Thank you. //

“There's something wrong with Will.”

Those five words had Hannibal calmly putting his cutting knife down and wiping his hands. He turned, meeting the eyes of Alana. Calculations went through his mind at breakneck speed. Some strands of doubt crept along his web of plans. Did Will not see his chance? Separate paths could be taken by him but he chooses one Hannibal refuses to play by.

“Are you able to tell me anything without breaking doctor-patient confidentiality?” Hannibal had to ask. Will meant more to him than the empath may ever know.

“I think he's broken.” Alana stated. “He hasn't showed signs of getting any better after the hard work he did to get where he is now. It seems he just gave up.”

Hannibal very nearly shook with rage. Did Chilton have something to do with it? Then as he thought more, that couldn't be the answer. Will was his own demise and refused to leave Alana’s care. He would rather suffer in an asylum, something he was absolutely terrified of, than be free. The fear rational but the reason behind it was not. Will would be denied to go any further along this particular road. Time was given to him to decide what he’d do. It appeared Hannibal would have to step in.

“What happened?”

Alana sighed as she leaned against the counter with her arms crossed. She was desperate and knew Hannibal knew it. The man was the only one that may be able to talk any sense into Will.

“That's what I was hoping to figure out with your help if you could.”

“Oh?” Hannibal would happily get Will out if it meant they could be together once more. He'd also make sure Jack would leave him alone for the foreseeable future. “I have one condition.”

As Alana and Hannibal came to an agreement, the woman left. Hannibal quickly put his ingredients away before cleaning everything else up to follow after Alana. Dinner could wait until later for Will. His Bentley revved up before he got on the road. This chance to see his Will and take care of him was something Hannibal had wished for since Will signed himself over to Alana. When Hannibal found out, he couldn't do anything. Legal action couldn't even be taken due to Will taking Hannibal off from being his emergency contact. All of that would change though. Once Will was out and away from Alana, he would see.

Hannibal arrived and noticed Alana waiting for him in the lobby. She smiled softly at him and gestured for him to follow her.

“Will has been refusing visitors and just sits in the corner. He's quiet and looks like he's thinking most days but doesn't stay away from the real world for more than a few seconds before he shakes himself out of it and stares at the wall blankly.” The woman wanted to explain so Hannibal would know not to expect the same Will as before he went there. She knew there was a certain relationship between the two men.

“I understand.”

They made it to the room and saw Margot sitting on the bed, seeming to wait until Will made it back out of his head. Hannibal noticed the syringe in Alana’s hand. He wondered briefly what it was for before taking in the sight of Will being coddled in a straightjacket. The sight didn't compute in Hannibal’s mind because it was another thing Will violently refused to wear. Hannibal still committed the sight to memory before settling in to simply watch and wait.

Will deserved to be here. He knew he deserved it. His head leaned against a dull white wall while his arms were held in a straightjacket. The floor was cold, but it helped him stay in the present. After all he'd done, the man didn't deserve the escape his memory palace offered.

Molly deserved better than him.

Wally deserved better than him.

Fuck, even Hannibal deserved better than him.

His stomach rolled at the thought of Hannibal. The image of the man was brought up in his mind's eye. The man had tried to rescue him. To take him from underneath Alana's hands and help him. All Will did though was scream. He screamed and screamed and screamed until he was blue in the face and hoarse in his throat. As his screams ripped through his esophagus, Hannibal tried talking him into stopping. Will knew where he belonged though. He belonged here. To be watched and make sure he'd never hurt anyone else. Under Alana's supervision is where he deserved to be. The empath hadn't seen hide or hair of the other man since that night.

Alana had come in the next morning after her employees had told her he had an episode. Under the influence of a sedative he'd told her Hannibal had come for him but he knew better than to be out in the world with him, let alone by himself. The woman took his hand gently in hers then. Her eyes spoke of sadness as she kissed his temple softly.

"Temporarily, Will. Not forever."

Now, a few years later, here he still was. Complete with his own straightjacket. He literally asked for it, complaining of being cold and feeling better with it on. Alana agreed very reluctantly. Shortly after, she'd realized how much better he slept and took to being hand fed easily with it on. Will never once felt like a child, but like someone being punished for what they had done. Which the empathy agreed wholeheartedly that he was not the best person to be freed.

"Will?"

"Margot?" His name made him open his eyes from where he was on the floor. Bright ice blue eyes met dulled stormy ones.

"Hey." A small smile curved her lips as she took a seat on the bed diagonal from him. "Alana tells me you're doing better but you're at a stand still currently."

Curly hair bounced about his forehead as he shook his head no.

"I don't deserve to be out there. In the world by myself or in the world with Hannibal. I refuse to leave."

Warmth spread through his body at the hand resting on his cheek. When did the woman move?

"Oh, Will." Something akin to a sigh escaped her. "You, more than most, deserve more than these four walls. Alana helped you a long time ago. Yet at every turn, you do something purposefully so she can't do anything but reject the paperwork to release you."

The man looked away as he curled into the wall behind and beside him. He didn't want to look at Margot anymore. It pained him too much. The truth spoken from her lips made him think it sounded ridiculous. Any sane person would be happy to be free or out of the building. All Will wanted was to feel safe and have everyone else feel safe around him. He thought Alana and Margot and Jack and everyone would feel better with him in here, in a straightjacket, never to see the light of day again. What he saw in the women's eyes were concern and sadness for him. Something he wasn't used to that made him itchy all around. He could tell they wanted better for him even if he didn't want it for himself.

Nothing would change his feelings on the matter. He deserved to be locked away. All he did was hurt the people he loved. Alana, Jack, Molly, Wally, Brian, Jimmy, Margot.

...Hannibal...

God, Chiyoh.

Even Beverly.

The thought of her sent Will into near hysterics and made him feel ill.

"You don't understand. None of you understand. I deserve to be here. I deserve to be alone and forgotten. What you and Alana are trying to do won't work. I’d rather die and rot in here than be free out there." He smiled wistfully at the wall before he cracked his head against it hard. "I would be forgotten in here as the unstable person I am than be remembered for a dangerous serial killer out there." Another hard crack against the wall, two more times followed consecutively. By the third, Margot kept him from from doing it again.

Tears fell from her eyes. Will looked at her in confusion.

"Jesus, Will." Said person could feel the blood leaking on her hand from his head. He'd hit his head pretty hard on the last one.

"You shouldn't be sad, Margot. This right here is what matters. This moment in time. No more. No less." Will replied to her. Shortly after, Alana joined the two in the room with a needle. A sedative Will knew. There was no fight against it. Lifting his head for better access to his neck, little to no hesitance when the needle went in.

As his vision darkened, he missed the nod between the two women. Missing the gentle fingers combing through his hair.

Barking woke him up. It left him wildly disoriented. Hearing it again with his own ears had him thinking he'd accidentally gone into his memory palace. A cold, wet nose nudged his hand before he jumped away to the other side of the bed. Will covered his head and breathed. Several moments passed until he realized he was in his own house in Wolf Trap, not in his memory palace. He peeked over the bed and saw Winston as the dog slowly rounded the bed. Will didn't know if he wanted to get away from his own dog or if he wanted to pet him.

Winston gently pulled his sleeve to get him up and out of the room. He walked slowly and in a daze. Getting back to his house meant he either escaped Alana’s care somehow or after she gave him the sedative, she and Margot brought him here.

Divine, Miguel, and Buster were in their beds as the others were pattering around the kitchen. The sight of all of them still here had Will in tears. He walked over to the dog beds and sat down. The others who noticed bounded on top of him excitedly. They obviously remembered him. That thought alone made Will so happy he was ready to burst. The dogs peppered him with licks and nudged him. The happiness in the air was palpable. Something Will would happily feed off of, especially from his dogs. All seven of them cuddled around Will when he relaxed in the pile of dog beds.

Footsteps made Will look up abruptly. Stormy eyes met maroon. A scream lodged in his throat before he cowered against Winston. The dog, sensing his fear in the air, growled at Hannibal. Warning him to not get any closer. Buster sat next to Will as well and growled. The others watching the other man like a hawk. Not allowing him to come any farther into the room.

“Will, please. Come join me for lunch? I will gladly explain what happened.” He watched and waited as he wiped his hands on a dish towel. His Will was finally back. The laughter and pure happiness had Hannibal peek around the corner to see Will’s happy reunion with his dogs a few moments ago.

A deep terror choked Will, making him unable to talk. Not a sound came out of his throat. Hannibal always struck an imposing figure, but with Will having been under Alana’s care for however long made the man terrified. He shook his head before hiding his face in Winston’s fur. The dogs moved to arrange themselves around Will to keep him warm and safe.

Hannibal sighed, slightly disappointed this was how their reunion would go. Alana and Margot pulled Hannibal back into the kitchen as they sat on the couch next to where Will lay. The dogs were wary of them too but not as much as Hannibal. Will had rejected him for now so he was a threat, the women were fine as long as Will was didn’t make a fuss about them.

“Will?”

“Why did you do this?” His voice quiet compared to the confidence it was filled with the last time they spoke. “Why did you do this to me?”

“We couldn't leave you in there. It wasn't fair to yourself or to Hannibal or to your dogs.” Margot replied. She knew what insanity was after what happened with Mason. “You are sane. You just acted insane because you couldn't stand the thought of being free after so long in there.”

The house was quiet except for the dogs situating themselves every so often until they found a more comfortable position and Hannibal moving about in the dull kitchen.

“I want you all to get out of my house.”

Thinned lips answered him before they nodded. Margot went into the kitchen, leaving Alana for a moment with Will.

“You have our contact information. Please don't hesitate to call if you need any of us. Hannibal included.”

Sobs answered her.

She left for the kitchen shortly after, stopping Hannibal from continuing on what he was making.

“Once you've finished, give him some space and leave. Right now, people are too much for him. This is the first time he’s had human contact outside of Margot and myself. Space and time need to be handled delicately and within a careful balance here, Hannibal.” Alana met his eyes, and he could see the seriousness of the situation.

“Very well. I shall leave once this is done and he is made aware of its existence. His as well. He needs to remember how often he needs to eat. I believe he may have lost some weight over the last few years.” Hannibal replied to her. “It's no insult to you. We all know how dearest Will can be.”

Alana nods and, without another word, leaves. Margot meets her in the driveway so they can kiss before getting into the car and leaving the property.

Hannibal finishes quickly afterwards. The picture of Will with his dogs makes a place in his own memory palace, tucking away within Will’s own room. A frame encasing it hung neatly next to the window. He came back to himself with a small smile hidden on his face away from any observers.

The older man would make his Will see how much better it is to be free. Blankets were laid across Will until Winston growled at him again in warning. His hands moved away quickly. The food he made put away in the fridge with instructions on how to heat everything up held on the fridge by a magnet.

When he locked everything up and gave a sleeping Will one final glance was when he finally left. Different plans were already being made within his mind as how to best approach the situation since Will made his way out from under Alana’s care. It was a huge leap from not physically fighting to stay where he was previously.

First things first, he needed to convince Will, and the dogs, to move in with him. Most things afterwards would follow with hardly any issue.

“Will, you got another one.”

Will looked up to see Beverly, his best friend of ten years and co-owner in Graham Landscapes, holding a box labeled “Unique Deliciousness” and blushed as she set it on his desk.

“I’m not opening it.”

She grinned. “He took the time to make you a sexy cookie, or maybe even a cake. You’d better open it so I can eat it like the other ones while I laugh at how uncomfortable you are.”

Unique Deliciousness was and had been the bane of his existence for the last few months. The owner, Hannibal Lecter, had developed something of a crush on him the day he opened up the sexy bakery/sex shop next door and despite Will’s obvious annoyance sent him sexy pastries once a week.

Mostly because when he’d first opened up there was no bakery part of Unique Deliciousness and Will had been so angry getting sex toys as presents that Lecter inexplicably started baking him ass cakes and cookies shaped like cocks.

Hannibal wasn’t subtle, not even a little, and no matter how many times Will said he wasn’t interested he persisted.

Will’s cheeks burned as he opened the pink box and was surprised to see what was inside.

A cookie shaped like a heart with his name on it, beautifully scrawled, and as Will lifted the sweet into his hands he smiled.

“Boring,” Bev sighed, “Just let me—“

He pulled the cookie to his chest. “No! I...I want this one.”

Bev grinned. “Oh?”

“I just...it’s...”

“Did all the cock cookies and butt cakes finally wear you down?”

Will blushed. “Shut up.”

She shook her head. “Nope, not gonna happen. I’ve been desperately hoping for this day for almost four months. Poor Hannibal is so goddamn thirsty every time he sees you I started bringing him coffee in the morning to quench his thirst. Poor thing didn’t quite believe me that the sexy cakes weren’t your thing.”

He blinked. “Wait, what?”

She leaned against his desk. “So I told him to try something else. Looks like he finally listened.”

Will suddenly felt weird. “So you put him up to this?”

“No, no! Don’t you dare backslide into loneliness again, Graham! I told him to be more subtle weeks ago. I didn’t make him give you that.”

He looked at the cookie in his hands. “Oh.”

“You like him, Will. We all know you do. You hardly ever say two words to anyone and just yesterday you bickered with him for almost an hour about serial killers.”

He blushed. “I...I just think the western world idolizes them too much and the mov—-”

Bev put her hands on the table hard. “No. You’re not changing the subject. You might’ve hated him when this all began but you like him. Now eat your pretty cookie and go next door to tell him that while I talk to the hot widow that he sent over here who wants to completely redo her entire backyard.”

Will bit into the cookie and moaned. “Fuck that’s good.”

“It better be,” she joked, “That cookie is made with weeks worth of sexual frustration and pining. Who knows how long Hannibal spent perfecting the taste.”

Will looked down at the cookie again.

“He’s way out of my league. I don’t even understand why he...”

“Newsflash, Will. You’re hot. I know you don’t believe that but you are. Now...what’re you gonna do?”

He looked at her. “I don’t know.”

She sighed. “Yes, you do.”

Will took another bite. The sweet flavor made his tastebuds sing. He closed his eyes and tried to calm down his heart as it beat wildly in his chest. 

“Will....” 

He opened his eyes again slowly and smiled at her. “If you’re about to say I told you so...” 

She grabbed his arm and leaned in smiling. “I told you so,” she said, “But I also told you from the very first sex toy that this one’s a keeper. Go get your man.” 

Will took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I...I want to do something first. You know that little bush he keeps outside his store? I....can you keep him occcupied for a while?” 

Bev grinned, let go of his arm, and saluted. “I’m on it, Boss.” 

He watched her go and still didn’t feel all the ready for this. 

Hannibal was...a lot. He wouldn’t fit all that easily into Will’s life, and this whole thing could blow up in both their faces, but as he looked at the half eaten cookie in his hand he knew that it was more than a crush. 

No one would spend months trying to woo someone with sexy pastries and sex toys for a crush. You didn’t even do that for just a quick roll in the hay. He opened his desk drawer and blushed at the pile of note cards he’d kept for what felt like forever. 

Will had every single card Hannibal had put in with his “gifts” and as he looked into the box he realised that this was the only one that didn’t come with a salacious note. 

He let out a long breath. 

“Okay.” 

The tools he needed wouldn’t be far, and it shouldn’t take too long. 

He could do this. 

He grabbed his shears, both sizes, and headed outside. The round bush that Hannibal kept in front of his place seemed like a beacon to Will as he made his way toward the little thing. He put the small shears down and began to trim. 

The process wouldn’t take too long, all he needed was to--- 

“Will?” 

Will dropped his shears, startled, and glared at Bev who stood behind Hannibal in the store doorway. She held up her hands, looking apologetic. 

“I...” 

“What are you doing?” 

He blushed. “I was...responding to your...cookie.” 

Hannibal frowned, stepping back, and stared at the half made heart Will had begun. “You...you’re making a heart?” 

He felt like his face was on fire. “Um...yeah.” 

Hannibal’s smile made Will’s heart beat faster. “I see,” he said, looking at the bush again, “May I watch?” 

Will nodded. 

He spent the next half hour painstakingly making the heart, and neither of them noticed when Bev left. Will had a thin sheen of sweat on his brow by the time he finished, and when he felt Hannibal’s hand on his shoulder he shivered. 

“It’s beautiful.” 

“Thanks,” he said, suddenly nervous, “I...I liked the cookie.” 

“I can tell.” 

“Hannibal, I---” he began, turning, but was cut off by Hannibal’s mouth touching his. 

The feeling of Hannibal’s lips on his own made Will moan and pull him closer. 

This was what they should’ve been doing for months. 

How stupid had he been? 

Will fought to catch his breath when they parted, smiling as he stared into Hannibal’s eyes, and the surprised sweetness he’d seen before was now replaced by the lust he’d seen since the minute they’d met. 

“I apologize for my fumbled pursuit of your favor,” Hannibal said, reaching out to touch Wil’s cheek, “I must confess I’ve never felt such an immediate attraction and sending the sex toys seemed appropriate at the time. I had plenty of them, and...” 

Will kissed him again, pulling on the red sweater he wore, and when they broke for breath again he felt Hannibal’s hardness against his thigh. “I...I kept them,” he confessed, cheeks flushed, “I kept all of them...and every time I use them I think of you. Hannibal---” 

Hannibal turned and pushed Will against the wall outside his store, growling as he kissed him again. Will was shaking, desperate for more,and knew if they continued he’d cum in his pants like a teenager. 

Someone cleared their throat and they broke apart, gasping for breath. 

Bev was leaning against the heart bush’s flowerpot, her smile so wide Will knew he’d hear about this for the rest of his life. “Unless you boys are cool with being arrested for public indecency, I think you’d best continue this inside. I’m sure Hannibal’s got...plenty...of things in there to last the rest of the afternoon and maybe into tonight. And I’ve cleared your schedule, Will. No need to thank me.” 

Will blushed, burying his face into Hannibal’s neck. 

“Thank you, Beverly,” Hannibal purred, “We will do just that.” 

“Erase any pictures you have on your phone,” Will mumbled, “Or I’m not gonna invite you to the wedding.” 

Bev let out a chuckle and held up her phone. “Wedding bells, already? I’ll sacrifice my invite in order to keep this day immortalized on my phone. Have a good time, Will.” 

She winked. 

He let out a breath against Hannibal’s neck. “That was humiliating.” 

“Was it?” 

Will lifted his head. “I...” 

Hannibal’s fingers brushed along Will’s lips. “Would you be...inclined...so spend the afternoon with me, Will?” 

Will licked at his finger. “Yes,” he whispered, “I...fuck yes.” 

Continued in: 

Love and Cock Cookies 

Trou Normand

1x09

Hannibal Lecter x reader x Will Graham 

Hannibal Re-Write Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: spoilers for hannibal, murder, dead bodies, mental health problems 

Author’s Note: Dude I am lovign just getting rid of the scenes with Alana that annoyed me to wits end. And it’s getting to the point where I’m like ‘will baby get help i love you’ and it shows. 

I took lines directly from the script so some may seem familiar. Those sentences are not mine. 

Official Episode Summary : The team hunts a killer who makes a totem pole out of his victims' corpses; Jack and Alana question Abigail about Nick Boyle's death; when Abigail agrees to write a book with Freddy Lounds, she reveals a secret to Hannibal.

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director 

Tag List: @llperfectsymmetryll​

(not my gif)

Will walked into Hannibal's patient office. You looked up at him as he walked forward to where you were standing, ready to leave. It was late and you had told Will you would meet him back home. He knew you would be here but if he needed you he would simply call. 

“Will?” 

He looked into your eyes and gave you a dead look. The door to the office opened and Hannibal was just as surprised to see Will.

“Are you here to pick up Y/N?” Hannibal asked. Will turned to Hannibal and then his breathing was different, like he had been running in and needed to catch his breath despite the fact he hadn’t been running at all. 

“I don’t know how I got here,” Will muttered. You furrowed your brows. 

“Huh?” 

“Where-what-” Will muttered, walking into the office. Hannibal gave you a look and you followed him closely into the office as well. Hannibal shut the door behind you swiftly. 

“I noticed your car outside the window so we know you drove. Safely it would seem,” Hannibal said. You walked in and sat on the desk as Will ran quickly around the room, trying to make sense of something that was confusing the hell out of him.

“I was on a beach in Grafton, West Virginia...I blinked and then I was waking up in your waiting room. Except I wasn’t asleep,” he swore, head moving wildly as he continued to pace. 

“Grafton is three and a half hours away Will,” you said simply and worried about walking up to him in case he was unstable enough to snap at you. You stayed at the desk and Hannibal stood beside you, both of you following Will with your eyes.

“You lost time,” Hannibal said simply. 

“Something is wrong with me,” Will said. 

“No,” you said instinctively.

“You’re dissociating, Will. It’s a desperate survival mechanism for a psyche that endures repeated abuse,” Hannibal explained further.

“I’m not abused,” Will countered. He looked unstable. He looked scared. Your heart ached in your chest. 

“You have an empathy disorder. What you feel is overwhelming you,” Hannibal siad. 

“I know.” 

“Yet you chose to ignore it and that is the abuse I’m referring to,” Hannibal said. You realized suddenly how much you aligned with Hannibal sometimes. 

“I couldn’t have said it better myself,” you muttered. Will gave you a look.

“You’re supposed to be on my side,” he said.

“I am on your side, I’m always on your side. But I want you to be safe love,” you said simply. 

“I know she wants me to quit but what about you?” Will asked, shaking as he gestured to Hannibal.

“Jack Crawford gave you a chance to quit and you didn’t take it. Why?”

“I save lives,” Will stated.

“And that feels good,” Hannibal analyzed. 

“Generally speaking, yes.”

“What about your life?” Hannibal asked. You glanced between the two of them and nodded simply, moving your cardigan so that it was tighter around you in the chilly office. 

“Amen,” you muttered. 

“We’re your friends Will. We don’t care about the lives you save, speaking for myself in particular. We care about your life and your life is separating from reality,” Hannibal said.

“I agree. I know it makes you feel good but it doesn’t outway the bad,” you said.

“I’m sleepwalking. I’m experiencing hallucinations. Maybe I should get a brain scan,” he suggested. The idea didn’t seem too bad to you honestly. You thought, maybe that was a good idea.

“Damnit Will. Stop looking in the wrong corner for an answer to this,” Hannibal said.

“I don’t think it’s a bad suggestion,” you said. “Something to look into at least.” You and Will’s eyes met and he nodded at you. You gave him a small smile. “I’m worried about your Will,” you said honestly.

“I am as well,” Hannibal concurred. “You empathize so completely with the killers Jack Crawford has your mind wrapped around that you lose yourself to them. What if you lose time and hurt yourself or someone else? I don’t want you to wake up and see a totem of your own making.” You nodded and Will walked over to Hannibal, nodding a bit.

“That wouldn’t be ideal,” you whispered breathily.

-

You walked into the hospital, mind everywhere. You were there to visit Abigail, who you hadn’t seen in a few days. You wanted to make sure she was alright firstly but honestly you just wanted a distraction from your boyfriend who was losing his mind and your friend (?) who seemed to be helping or maybe hurting.

You walked into the room and Abigail was inside, sitting by the window alone. You knocked on the door and she turned her head, a light smile on her face.

“I was wondering where you had gone,” she said. You walked all the way inside of the room and over to where she sat on the window sill. You sat across from her, looking down at the bad view of a parking lot.

“Sorry it’s been a few days,” you said. She shook her head.

“I’ve had my visitors. Hannibal, Alana, Freddie Lounds.” You scoffed.

“Freddie Lounds still harping on that book?” you asked. She nodded, shrugging.

“I told her I would take it. I don’t have any money,” she muttered. You shook your head. 

“I can help with that. Will can help with that. I don’t know anymore but I just hate Freddie Lounds,” you muttered. 

“What do you think about Alana Bloom?” she asked. 

“She’s a friend. Not super close but a friend.”

“I don’t trust her. I know she’s supposed to be my therapist but I don't trust her.” Abigail liked having you around. You made her feel lighter, like she was thought of as a human being still. You liked her because she reminded you of light, despite it all.

“How are the guys?” she asked. You scoffed.

“Honestly?” 

“Honestly,” she confirmed.

“Will isn’t doing great. Hannibal killed a man in his office while I was just outside. Self defense but still, a man died.” Something flashed over her face and you were able to catch it. “What?” She shook her head.

“Nothing. I’m sorry that happened.” She looked out the window. She was reserved now, a wall had gone up. You figured at first it was the murder aspect but you thought about it for a second and wondered if it was something else.

“Abigail?” She looked in your eyes and there was something vulnerable there. Something that can only be shown on the eyes of a teen going through something. You put your hand on her hand that was on her knees she had folded in front of her. “You know you can talk to me,” you whispered. She nodded, swallowing hard.

“I know,” she muttered. 

“In it’s own time I suppose,” you whispered. She nodded, happy for the out but you knew something was there if you dug hard enough. You were no Jack Crawford though and you would let her tell you when she was ready. 

-

You stood in the door of Will’s classroom. You leaned against the wall as you looked at him. Will was talking about the totem pole murders to his class and you could tell he was still shaking. You wondered if he was wondering if he would remember this. 

“Joel Summers - killed by a single stab to the heart. Presented with great ostentation atop a display of all the previous victims. This killer’s design was to never be discovered. A ghost. That is what excited him. Until now... Why is he coming into the light?” Will stopped talking when he saw you and seemed to notice there was no one in the classroom.

“I don’t want to interrupt if you’re rehearsing,” you said. “I just thought I would drop by.” 

“No. No...it's okay,” he said. You looked around the dark space. No lights were on. The projector off.

“Very moody,” you whispered. 

“That’s me all over,” he muttered. There was a tension you hadn’t anticipated. You hadn't spoken about his loss of time yet and you knew he was avoiding it. You walked up closer to him and let out a small sigh.

“You remember when you told me Alana wouldn’t date you because she said you were too unstable?” you asked, voice quiet. He nodded slowly. You took a deep breath in. “Do you feel unstable?”

He thought about it for a moment and you stared through his glasses lenses. He nodded after a second. You walked forward wordlessly and put your arms around him tightly. He buried his face in your neck like he would never touch you again and you wondered if he was crying because you were about to. His pain hurt you like no other.

“I love you,” you whispered. He hummed in agreement but didn't answer you audibly, hsi mouth too far in your neck.

-

“I’m trying hard to understand when I say this is a bad idea,” Will said. 

“Freddie Lounds is dangerous,” Hannibal conquered.

“Y/N said no too,” Abigail asid. 

“Listen Abigail, all of this will change. Whatever you’re feeling won’t last. Things change.” Will paused for a moment, thinking. “Things are changing for me, too. Doing some accounting for what's important in my life and what isn’t. You’re important Abigail and I can’t help but feel some responsibility for you.”

“Just because you killed my dad doesn't’ mean you get to be him,” she snapped.

“Abigail,” you chastised. “We’re all trying to help but when you write this it’s about Will and Hannibal too.”

“And you as well,” Hannibal suggested.

“I’m a miniscule part. I have no career right now. Freddie Lounds has called Will insane one too many times for me to trust her not to do it again and she could ruin Hannibals’ career for a few twisted truths,” you said.

“I don’t need your permission,” Abigail said weakly. She wanted it. She wanted permission. 

“And you don’t need our approval. But I hope it would mean something,” Hannibal said. You stood beside Will and grabbed his hand. He was still shaking.

-

You were with Will in the building, driving him when he told you Hannibal was in as well. That was an invitation to stay and you did. You walked with him up to Jack’s office. Jack let out a sigh at the sight of you.

“You don’t work here,” Jack said. 

“Neither does my boyfriend,” you snapped back. Alana and Hannibal stood at opposite ends of the room.

“Abigail trusts her and she was there that night” Alana says. “She can stay.” Jack, despite wanting to throw you out, continued with the conversation.

“Nicholas Boyle turned up in Minnesota. Dead. He was found in the woods. Frozen. And then he thawed out pretty fast. They couldn’t say if he died this week or six weeks go or the night he disappeared,” Jack said. 

You mind snapped into place. 

That was what Abigail wanted to but also didn't want to tell you. She had killed Ncholas Boyle. Probably with Hannibal’s help. You glanced at him and he looked at you and he knew you knew. He let out a small, barely noticeable sigh.

“How did he die?” Alana asked.

“Knife wound. He’d been gutted. Had the body flown down here. I want Abigail Hobbs to identify it,” Jack said.

“What?” you asked. “You have absolutely zero regard for mental health do you?”

“Get out.”

“No,” Hannibal said. You stayed put.

“You can’t put her in a room with Nick Boyle’s body. She already has nightmares about him,” Alana reasoned.

“I’m curious why,” Jack said. Your blood boiled. Will grabbed your arm and held it loosely to hold you back.

“You can’t seriously think she had anything to do with this?” Will asked. 

“I think she’s the common denominator. Her father, Marissa Schuur, Nick Boyle, they all come back to her. My instinct is she’s still got answers I haven’t heard,” Jack said.

“What are the questions?!” Will asked. 

Everyone looked annoyed, tense, angry. 

“I want to be on record as saying this is a very bad idea. Hannibal?” Alana said. 

“Jack has the look of a man with no interest in any opinion but his own,” Hannibal said. You felt like you were boring holes into Jack’s skull. You half wished you were.

-

Will sat in bed beside you.

“Do you remember when you promised Abigail to help her with her nightmares?” Will whispered as you laid down facing each other. Your eyes fluttered open. You hadn’t quite fallen asleep yet. 

“Yes,” you mumbled.

“I think I’m going to have a nightmare tonight,” he whispered. You scooted forward and wrapped your arms tightly around him. He put his head on your chest.

“You’ll be safe if you do,” you whispered. His breathing evened out and he fell asleep quickly after.

-

At work you knocked on the office door when you knew no one was inside. 

“Your boyfriend paid me a visit,” Hannibal said. He probably had done it earlier when you were at lunch.

“He knows,” you muttered.

“You both figured it out. I suppose I’m not the best at hiding this,” he muttered from his desk where he sat. You shook your head.

“You’re good at it but I know Abigail and by default, know enough about you,” you said.

“What did Will say?”

“He was more shaken up than you,” Hannibal admitted. You walked over to the desk and leaned against it.

“I think I always knew. That night. I think I knew,” you whispered.

“Will said he wouldn’t take us to the authorities. Do I need to worry about you doing so?” You shook your head.

“I won’t. I care about Abigail too.” 

“She has quite the parents looking out for her,” he mumbled.

“Lose two, gain three I always say.”

-

Will, Freddie, you and Hannibal had dinner that night. Freddie had to excuse herself early after asking all her questions which left you and Will in the dining room.

“You know,” he whispered.

“And you know,” you muttered. You looked at him in his chair beside you.

“How long?”

“I figured in Jack’s office. Day before you did.” He nodded.

“Great minds think alike,” he said weakly. You grabbed his hand and he squeezed it tightly.

“Don’t worry about her,” you whispered. “She has people looking out for her.” he nodded and looked at you.

“I think you know I can’t control that.” 

“It was worth a shot,” you muttered and brought his hand up to your lips. You kissed it. 

-

In the kitchen Abigail had just confessed to Hannibal she had been the person to lure the victims for her father. He hugged her close and comforted her as she cried.

“I’m a monster,” she sobbed. Hannibal shook his head.

“No. I know what monsters are...you’re a victim.” A beat between his sentences as he made a promise.  “Will, Y/N and I, we’re going to protect you.”

1x10

Out of the Black

by @afterdarkpark

" 'ey you! Do you want to die?!" The voice had startled her so badly that the back she-cat backed right back into her hiding place. Murdoc let out another loud caterwaul. "I don't got all day! I says DO YOU WANT TO DIE?! His pelt was bristled along his spine, her own fur mirroring the display with anxiety. She watched with a stiff unwavering gaze, leaning back as if to suggest that she was getting ready to run away. His paw jut out and swiped the air with a snarl. "That's oll that's gonna happen to ya if you stay 'ere Easy Blood! They're-a comin' for you! So whatcha gonna do? Just lay there and wait for a split gut?!" The sound of cat claws skidding against cobblestone what must have been only a little ways away stole her attention next, causing even more fear to creep up her spine. Like many her age, the fae didn't know much about Murdoc than what the whispers of gossip had reached around. He was the forgotten blood to Hannibal who had just passed in a royale with a member of the Moon Court...idiot. Murdoc had every right to come home and take his place here, but something was wrong. The Black Skies didn't seem to favor him much and Oogie Boogie snarled in such a way that actually made him seem intimidating- at least for a moment. He probably knew just as little about her, the Easy Blood who spent more time dodging Watchmen and biting up-walkers during her nameday ceremony. She was one of a strong litter of six, but had never been fed enough. Her weight didn't match her lanky height. The best shot she had was put here and even that was fleeting. If she went back se'd be lucky to get a Cloud, but even they wouldn't likely protect her from the five pairs of anxious claws that were itching to spill first blood. In many ways she supposed they were kindred spirits, always looking in at the gaggle of their heritage but never allowed the opportunity to be among them. Ears flattened with momentary fear. What on earth did he want with her? "Well come on then!" A paw swiped her rump, electing a yelp and paws scrabbling against stone. "Gets a move on! Don't ya want a chance?!" There was a fire in her belly sending sharp sparks all the way down to her toes as she suddenly rushed to follow the stranger, ears flat and tail fluffed out as she chased after the shadow of his form that echoed against the walls of this small town. Whatever strange path he was taking them, everything around them was a blur. There was no escape here, so why bother moving? What kept her lurching forward? Staring at his feet was the only thing keeping her from slipping into an anxiety-induced sense of vertigo, the nausea not ceasing even as they rushed onto a standby watercraft. He shoved her hindquarters onto the deck as the little drawbridge was pulled away, access to the boat now freed from the rickety dock. She was struggling to catch her breath as he let out a triumphant mocking laugh, mismatched eyes leering at the Skies cats that were stuck on the other end of the dock hissing and tearing at the air with frustrated claws. What was he doing?! Eyes were wide with nothing short of alarm as she watched the rogue mock them. It wasn't a stretch to follow their line of sight to see the cold calculating leers of her ex-clan mates now staring at her. They demanded an answer with nothing but their eyes. What on earth was she doing? They were right...there. Getting farther and farther away, unable to follow them. Bit by bit her pelt started to relax. "They're like a black cloud overhead- always trying to ruin your day. Just gotta keep two steps ahead and keep one eye behind you." Murdoc seemed to say as a matter-of-factually, startling her from her stare-off with the Black Skies trio that was stuck watching them leave. Her traveling companion didn't seem bothered in the slightest bit, even curling up tightly on the deck with a soft groan. The monster they stood on let out a bellowing cry and jerked forward, pulling away from the docks and into the unswimmable river at a stiffened pace. She looked back to the male with a confused and almost fearful look in her eyes, clicking her teeth to get his attention again. 'What was that?!' She had never been on a boat before, let alone close enough to hear it roar to life and chug along. Her long black tail bristled with paranoia, emerald eyes looking about the strange craft for sign of a Watchmen. What if one had already been stationed here-? How was he so sure they were safe?! Why did he seem so at peace?! "What're you going on about?" Came his short reply. "They're not coming after you." The male snorted, turning tail. All the while the Easy Blood stayed propped up against the ships bow, claws digging into chipped paint as the watercraft slowly bobbed further and further from the isle. "You're too far out of their way at this point. You've nevah been nothing to 'em." The words struck painfully close to home, claws retracting as agitation seemed to bypass any lingering regrets. It had been a really long day, just watching the other get ready for rest triggered recollection of her own exhaustion. The extended fatigue alone caused her stance to waiver. The small fae abandoned her make-shift post and curled right up against the older with a huff, burying her face in obsidian fur with an attempt to steal a bit of warmth. She had almost gotten comfortable too when a paw jut roughly into her side and shoved her about a foxlength away. "Nope, not gonna have it like that." Murdoc leered. "Mmn' not yer Dad er yer Cloud." Her lip picked up to snarl back with offensive aggression, that's not what she had meant! It was cold here! With all the water, no glimpse of land, and wind whipping the little boat around like it was nothing she was absolutely terrified! He brought her here! Claws scrapped the deck in agitation, tail lashing behind her. "Jus 'cus we're traveling together doesn't mean you're not gonna have to be independent. Now go catch us some supper, mice always hide under the deck." He let her rest a bit closer after she brought back a scrap of prey to settle his nerves. The Easy Blood let out a soft sigh, stomach settled for perhaps the first time in days. They had a word for this in the Black Skies group, ceremonies even. Companionship and brotherhood seemed exclusive only to the powerful. Clouds and their underlings would be graced by the moon alongside lovers, friends, cohorts like the Watchmen...but as she looked up to the moon in that exact moment, the only thing that she was certain of was that this allegiance wasn't anything like what she had been told of. The tom who munched on mice a few tail lengths away wasn't necessarily a foe, but she didn't quite think he was a friend either. He wasn't her Cloud, didn't hold any authority over, and seemed like he had only towed her along on a vein impulse. Other than sharing the same birthplace, they really had nothing in common. Forcing her fur to lay flat, she turned back to her own meal and wolfed a few more quick bites. "What's your name kid?" The she-cat froze up as the comfortable silence between them was broken by something so abrupt, gaze immediately looking just about anywhere else. Ears were flattened against her skull, mouth opening once or twice without a proper audible thing coming out. "Come on then, what am I to call you?" His tone became a little more insistent, tail lashing behind him bearing mild impatience. Just like that, it started happening again. That tight feeling in her stomach as air seemed to get stuck inside her lungs with no hope of reprieve. The world felt tight, and she was small. Air came in sharp gasps, the only slight relief when she painfully managed to choke out a few syllables. "M-M-Mn...I-I..hah- mn." It was embarrassing to not be able to get a word out, but she had started shaking too badly. Her head pounded painfully, heart beating wildly in her chest. Ba-bump.Ba-bump.Ba-bump. Don't look over at him, don't even look up. Pale green eyes were glued to the deck. "Mmn, I- ah..." Black fur prickled and trembled as an icy chill took its time up her veins, eyes closing tightly as the edge of her vision blurred a bit hazily. All she could hear was her heartbeat, blood pounding between her ears. The soft, pathetic sniffling seemed to make the male uncomfortable enough to come off the subject. "Forget I asked then. Get some rest." It took awhile for the anxiety to edge off on its own, the fear of saying the wring thing still having an internal war on how to form words. She shook unwillingly as she forced herself to get some sleep, hoping that the trembling would be excused to the unprecedented chill in the air. *** The next morning that came seemed to be a bit warmer than the evening prior, although eyes had only opened to seeing more of the same watery scenery. It didn't feel like they were moving in any direction per say, just bobbing up and down in a way that made her feel nauseous. Shouts from the up-walkers had her leap up in alarm, fur on end as a group of them started pulling a lump over the side of the bow. "Blokes on the land could learn a thing er two from you. Those ingrates do nothing but chit-chat the day away." She didn't reply, but that was still normal for their relationship thus far. He seemed content with silence, it made for far-better companionship than her shaking and broken syllables. "...they're fishin'." Murdoc yawned as he got up from his make-shift nest, slowly stretching the kinks out of his shoulders. "The best kind of prey that we nevah get ta catch ourselves. Jus you wait love." Her eyes squinted as the net finally came over the edge and onto the ferry, large unnatural looking sea spiders straining against the rope and trying to get free. They were without a doubt the most hideous thing she had ever seen and looked to be almost as large as she was, but something about the smell had her thinking of the docks back home. It didn't look it, but smell alone had her guess that it had to be food. "We'll eat good today kid, don't botha a mouse. This is the kind of feast we need before we get back to shore." 'What shore?' She didn't ask aloud, but let her questioning look challenge his lazy gaze. "You'll see it when we get there. Even you couldn't miss it." Her tail bristled in offense. Later on, she'd realize that he was right about the sea spiders and many other things. Up-walkers offered them food around sun high without any begging whatsoever, making it the easiest meal that the Easy Blood had ever had to date. Murdoc seemed to snort mockingly at her fascination, even pitying her enough to let her hide behind him when furless paws attempted to stroke her sides. Unlike on the streets the humans didn't try to pick them up, they just offered a few odd pats before shuffling on their way. "We should be 'ome by sundown at the latest if these no-tails keep to their usual pace. As soon as they catch prey they olways go back." She closed her eyes, half-content now with her overfull belly to sleep the rest of the way. Letting out a large yawn, sleep came easily to heavy eyelids. *** Even in her dreams she hadn't ever seen something like this. "Never thought you'd see freedom, didja?" The Easy Blood's nap had ended rather abruptly. His paw jabbed roughly into her shoulder as she stirred and sat up, yawning and freezing agape at the land they were approaching. It wasn't anything like home- not grey, black, and blue. There were colors that she didn't even know how to describe, smells so diverse that she didn't even know where they had come from! The familiar caw of the gulls resounded overhead, sending a chill up her spine. "Told you, the other side of the bay is nothing like what's back there. 'ere, cats don't do the things they made you do." For the first time in a long while her eyes watered up to form what felt like tears. She wasn't sad this time, instead there was this warm brooding feeling in her chest that was hard to comprehend. It was just so overwhelming. The tension in her shoulders seemed to break momentarily as well, a huff in her chest that allowed for an airy laugh. Who knew she'd do this- get so far? Was it all too good to be true? If it were her mother or anyone's bet she'd be bleeding out right now in some cold dark corner where no one would ever care to miss her, and yet now...now what? "....why?" Her voice cracked from misuse, soft cautious tone spoken clearly as she looked over to the male. He seemed rather shocked to hear her speak to him, his attention now sharpy re-adjusted from the shoreline to the small fae. "Why...me? Mur-dock." Something in her voice suggested some sort of tone-deafness affliction, the syllables broken and shuffling out of her maw in what seemed like an unnatural manner. She sucked in a shaky breath as tears pricked the corner of her eyes. "A...a-girl-has-no-name." There was a flicker of something genuine on his face, and maybe it was the realist expression she had seen on him in the great two mooncycles they had known each other. There was a strange softness to it, as if he was looking at her while his mind was somewhere far far away. Whatever it was that had took him away, he didn't speak for a long moment. She shook and lashed her tail, pressing the man again for an answer. "Why?" He blinked slowly, a look in his mismatched eyes that she couldn't think of a name for. "Donkatsu." "Don-kat-su?" Ears tilted back. There wasn't a word like that in the Black Skies. "That's yer name. Donkatsu. Don't forget it, got it?" The easy bloods pelt trembled, heart pounding in her chest as she looked down. A sharp breath she hadn't realized she had been holding in her chest was coughed out, emerald eyes looking up to him again as she found herself separated from the ability to speak again. "A-Ah...h-h th-th.." The stutter came back with a violent tremor of breath, the greatest weight that had ever been pushed down on the small cat now gone free like the gulls chasing the breeze. "I'm serious." He spoke of reassurance that she wasn't sure she had needed, her head nodding quickly. "Thas is your name now. No one is ever gonna to call you by anything else from now on. You ain't gonna let 'em. Gotit?" Tears spilled from her eyes freely as she nodded fervently, the fae swallowing hard as she kept her gaze respectfully away from his. Without another word she dropped down onto her belly, chin touching the tips of her toes as she shook. The back of her neck was exposed freely of her own expressed will for the first time in her life, and in their shared culture it was the ultimate sign of trust. She froze like that for a long time, kneeling and waiting until she was sure that the message had come across all the way. This was as close to giving your life to someone as you could get in the Black Skies, and this was a promise she was making to Murdoc with absolutely no intention of going back. He had been the one to save her life, so he could have it. She'd do whatever he needed her to do gladly for the rest of her life because if he hadn't pulled her along tow she wouldn't be alive right now. Whatever this new land was, why they were here...it didn't matter. For the first time in her life she was finally alive and free. "Alright alright, come off it." The obsidian had sure taking his time allowing her to rise, but she had felt that smug aura even as she groveled at his feet. "Tell me, since I know you can talk now. Did ya really kill a gat back there?" Donkatsu nodded curtly, standing at attention as he addressed her a direct order. "An' how did killing that bloke make you feel?" Donkatsu paused a moment, slowly but surely a genuine smile breaking its way past her maw. "Good."

Dance Among the Fools Part II

Of Flowers & Death Drabble

Ah, yes here we are another drabble, again big hugs to @lovecrimemp3 who gave the idea of this to @le-wendigogo who brought the idea up to me. Confusing I know XD

Annnnd in this one we get a mysterious guest appearance

~~

When they arrive at the party, Adam is quick to find himself with admirers, his natural looks catching the eyes of many as he moves through the crowds. Satyrs and other nymphs standing on a stage playing an armada of instruments. The music flowing through the air with the ease of the four winds, creatures and immortals dancing among the floors, dressed in nothing or in clothes of gold and jewels.

He stood behind, watching far from the crowds as his lover danced with them. Swaying and moving with more grace than a deer could have, among these bumbling creatures he was godlike, bobbing and moving with the beat. If Hannibal hadn’t know the little nymph by then, well then, he would have fallen in love all over again with the beau. Such a lovely sight Adam was, nude and open to the world, his skin illuminated by the lights of the fire as he moved.

It was nice to watch as his lover danced freely, that is until he saw a wolf make it’s way towards his flower.

Anthony

Or most formerly known as, Dionysus, but the God liked to go by Anthony for some reason.

The curly haired trickster moved among the crowds like a shark, eyes locked on it’s prey, moving left and right as he went for the kill. Adam was blinded by the God’s advances, as he slithered up behind the nymph to run his hands down his arms and pull him close. That two faced smile of his being glanced at Adam who looked to the God confused, shrugging of the intruders smile before slipping back into his dance. Anthony was quick to copy Adam’s dance, staying behind the nymph like a shadow as he stroked a hand over his skin, or nose against his neck.

He watched, eyes locked, as Adam spoke to Anthony, raised eyebrows and caution at first. That is until Anthony used that little tongue of his to make the nymph relaxed in his arms, having a glass appear from his hand before handing it to Adam who took it with a small smile. The snake watching as Adam tilted his head back to drown his throat in the alcoholic beverage, wine dripping smoothly down his throat, shining like gems as it slipped off his skin. He could see that look coming from Anthony’s eyes, that lustful, mischievously sinister look as licked his lips, eyes staring down at Adam.

Beautiful, he could here the God whispering, head tilting down to press a kiss to Adam’s lips.

Hannibal heard a crack, the crisp, clean sound of glass breaking. A dull pain sleeping it’s way up his arm, before dying down to a dull aching reminder of the glass that he once held. Eye’s burning with flames, as he watch Anthony try to kiss his flower, only…only he never did. Adam was quick, swift like a fox as he held a finger up to Anthony’s lips, holding the man back with a finger. Laughing before shaking his head, mouth moving as he said something to the God. Anthony seemed surprised by Adam’s words, before grinning wildly and turning to stare directly over at where Hannibal was lurking.

Oh, dear…

Anthony removes himself from Adam, leaving the nymph to go back to his dance. Slinking his way over to where Hannibal is standing, a wicked grin growing over his face as his eyes ran down the Death God’s body.

“I never expected to see you in one of these things, Hannibal. You’re not much of the partier, so why now?” Anthony croons, draping himself over Hannibal’s chest, fingers running over the God’s skin.

Hannibal makes a small frown, stepping away from the drunken God so he can clean his wound. Anthony quick to follow behind like a lost puppy, yapping and sniffing after the man. If only he was allowed to strike the God down things would be easier, but he cannot and mustin for he’d rather not deal with the wrath of Zeus. Seating himself on one of the plush couches, Hannibal takes his time to delicately pluck the glass shards from his hand, watching as the wounds slowly close in on themselves. Anthony, quick to seat himself next to the Death God, laid himself over.

“You haven’t answered my question, Hannibal. I find that rather rude of you.” he toys.

“I am here with my lover, Anthony. Now if you wouldn’t mind removing yourself from me.” Hannibal grumbled, trying to relax himself in the couch.

Anthony did no such thing, instead his grin only grew as his eyes widen, “Ooooh, you mean the cute little nymph I was just dancing with. Adam was it? Yes, he does seem to be quite the darling boy, I was just about to take a bite out of him, when he stopped me. Never before has someone not gone unaffected by my charms.” Anthony leaned in a little more, his mouth close to Hannibal’s ears so he could whisper into them, “I won’t lie, but I am quit jealous I’m not in his position. Oh, the fun we would have together, Hannibal.”

Hannibal feels his insides practically cringe at the man’s words, either that, and also the lust to have the God’s blood spilt on the floor. Only to have his murderous thoughts being interrupted, as a familiar nymph seats himself on Hannibal’s lap, giggling as he continues to sway with the music. Adam leans forward to nuzzle against Hannibal’s neck, sighing happily as his body still rocks with the beat. He can’t help but grin a little at Adam’s flushed face, that innocent smile which has made it’s way on his lovers lips.

“Having fun I presume?” Hannibal hums, reaching up to caress Adam’s cheek with the back side of his hand, “Ready to go home.”

“Nu-uh. Hannibal we’ve only been here for an hour, I’m not done having some fun yet. Maybe you are, but I still want to dance for a bit more.” Adam giggles, sitting up to stretching his arms, making sure to give anyone looking a little show.

Growling, Hannibal pulls his flower close, smothering his giggles with a kiss, as he reaches down to smooth his hands over his ass. Adam chuckles into his lips, before humming as he wraps his arms around Hannibal’s neck, body still swaying with the beat of the drums. When he leans back in for another kiss, Adam stops him with a finger, nibbling on his bottom lip as he stares down at Hannibal. Leaning forward to nuzzle against the side of the man’s face, before pulling back.

“Save it for when we get back home,” Adam whispers, slipping off of Hannibal’s lap so he could rejoin with the crowd. “Besides, you still need to catch up on things with your friend there.”

That little-

“Well, that was a joy to watch.” Anthony purred, as he took his place draped over Hannibal’s shoulder.

Hannibal felt his eye twitch, as Anthony pressed against his side, purring like a content little kitten.

Quick to stand, Hannibal followed after his nymph into the crowd of dancers. “Actually, I think I’ll come dance with you. It’s been ages since I’ve last tried such a thing.”

Adam gave him a raised eyebrow, grin breaking through as he took Hannibal’s hand in his own. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to reteach you then.”

Hannibal grinned, nuzzling against Adam’s neck as he said, “I suppose so, my flower.”

Attrition of Peace

Three: Reyna

Who Ordered the Trojan Mario?

             When Reyna first received the report, she thought it was a prank. Had it been from anyone other than Michael Kahale, she would have sent the messenger to help shovel their war elephant’s, Hannibal’s, pen or scribe for their local chatty harpy, Ella. She’d been told that was an unbearable task.

           But as Reyna stood on the banks of the Little Tiber River, the military barracks at her back and Michael Kahale at her side, she could see he hadn’t been joking.

           There was indeed a twenty foot tall, wooden statue of Nintendo’s Mario in their valley. 

He stood—one foot up for a jump—on the opposite bank of the Little Tiber. The statue was on wheels, ropes already bolted into Mario’s black shoe for dragging. The red and blue paint of his overalls and shirt gleamed brilliantly in the California sun, contrasting sharply with the green grass along the road to New Rome. The whole sight looked like it had been screenshot out of that game that Will made she and Nico play: Super Mario Sunshine.

           This had Greek written all over it. Not literally since there was no writing on the plumber, but Reyna could imagine her Greek friends, Piper and Percy, thinking this was an ingenious idea and Annabeth sighing along.

           Reyna wondered if it was in fact Annabeth’s idea, and if there were Greek troops inside to continue their little “rivalry.”

           How many troops could you fit inside a wooden Mario? There was probably a ladder extending from Mario’s grounded foot to his torso, where you could fit the most soldiers. Depending on how close the campers would get to each other, she would guess at least a dozen.

           “And it just appeared?” Reyna asked, gripping her pilum. There was a subtle, December breeze blowing through the valley, tussling her long black braid and purple cloak. Today was warm, even for California standards.

           “Yes,” Michael said, clearing his throat. He wasn’t in his armor, but wore a work out tank top and athletic shorts. For being a son of Venus, he looked more prepared to beat someone to death than flirt with them.

           “Nathan and Bobby were guarding the tunnel?” Reyna asked. She already knew the answer, but she wanted to make sure she had everything in as much detail as possible.

           “Yes, they were found unconscious at the entrance, mumbling—mumbling about nightmares,” Michael added the last part hesitantly.

           Reyna frowned. Lou Ellen and the other children of Hecate could easily use the Mist to mask their own approach towards the camp, but could they mask a twenty foot statue?

And one of the children of Hypno or even Nico might be able to put Nathan and Bobby to sleep. But she didn’t think Nico was back to full power. Although communication between the camps had been sparse recently, she’d heard the child of Hades was still struggling after that summer’s shadow traveling.

Something didn’t feel right here.

“Call over the First and Fifth Cohort and alert those on probation they need to haul in a large statue,” she said. “We’re going to give the Greeks a warm welcome.”

  The First and Fifth Cohort were assembled and armed within ten minutes. Although there were some grumbles about this infringing on lunch time, most were too excited about the giant Mario statue and the prospect of getting another win for their Greco-Roman skirmishes. They were already talking about hauling the statue to Temple Hill as a sacrifice to the gods.

Frank was supposed to arrive any moment to discuss what to do. The lower ranks were lining up to grab the statue’s ropes and roll it across the Little Tiber. The First and Fifth Cohorts waited on the other side, ready to escort the statue further into camp and defend if the Greeks decided to strike.

The troop’s excitement was infectious until one member on probatio, Ellie Atmadja, found a note on the Mario statue. She raced it up to Reyna.

This recruit was fresh from Lupa. She was short, had a deep tan, and had the grace of Dakota after three pitchers of Kool-Aid. So very little.

Ellie almost fell over when she skidded to a stop in front of Reyna. She couldn’t seem to decide if she should bow or grovel. “Praetor—for you,” she finally said and shoved the note to Reyna.

“Thank you, Atmadja. You may return to the others,” Reyna said, hoping the girl wouldn’t have an aneurism from the conversation.  

As Ellie fumbled over another bow and dashed back to help the others with the ropes, Reyna examined the paper. It was composed of four colorful pieces of construction paper, taped together. Her name was written in sloppy red cursive across the front. She flipped it open, wondering if Thalia was involved in this.

 Dear Reyna Ramirez-Arelllllano,

           I got you a present, something you know you desperately desire and don’t know that you already hate. Enjoy!

                                                                                     --From the Darkest

 PS: I do not accept returns on damaged merchandise. Merchandise is likely damaged. Packaging is fragile and will shatter in the vengeful waters of the Bitty Tibbr. XO XO

             That didn’t sound like something from anyone at Camp Half-Blood, although maybe from a Huntress.

           The Bitty Tibbr. The Little Tiber.

           Reyna dropped the note, opening her mouth to shout at those on probatio to stop pulling the Mario statue into the river. Before she could inhale, the water surged.

           The ripple started forty feet upstream, but roared into an eight foot wave within seconds. Ellie and those on propatio panicked, taking their last step towards the shore.

           Although the wave was nothing compared to what Percy had conjured this past summer, it was large enough to smash the leg off of Mario. The blast knocked the lower ranking soldiers into the muck before splashing them back onto shore, unharmed.

           The legless plumber crashed onto his side. The wooden frame cracked. She could barely hear a male with a British accent scream from inside, “We’re tied up—we can’t swim—”

           Then the river whisked the wreckage into a raging swirl.

           There were people in those rapids.  

           Reyna had only ever seen the Little Tiber protect New Rome from monsters. These must have been enemies.

           But you won’t know why they’re here or who they are if you don’t interrogate them.

           Reyna pointed to the Fifth Cohort, all of which were prepared with nets to catch some Greeks. “Fish them out!” she commanded.

           There was a pause, then Dakota lead the Cohort towards the shore.

           Before they could reach it, a thick vine snaked out of the water, digging into dry land. A moment later, two figures emerged. One, an Asian girl with shoulder length hair, gripped the vine as it snaked further inland. She must have been a daughter of Demeter. Her other hand was wrapped around the waist of an enormous boy.

           Reyna immediately recognized him. That was Piper McLean’s favorite cousin, an Afro-Brit son of Eros named Calex Rupin McKenzie. That would make the girl either Euna or Joey Song. These were two of the new Seven that had arrived at Camp Half-Blood in early October. Reyna had run into them on a recon mission last month.

           Once they were solidly on ground, the girl released the vine and went still. The boy struggled against some ropes around his arms.

           That left five members still in the water.

           The river smashed two more bodies onto shore. Dakota and the others helped to drag them out. One was a tall girl with honey colored skin wearing a burgundy parka that matched her hair. Dakota scrambled to help her up. If Reyna remembered properly, that was one of his half-sisters, Merry.

           Near them, the other member coughed up some water. Although Reyna couldn’t remember the pale girl’s name, Reyna thought she was a child of Apollo. “Axel and Pax are still in the water!” the girl choked out, struggling to get out of her binding.

           Reyna flinched.

           Unlike the other four, the Little Tiber didn’t seem willing to release the Pax brothers. Through the vortex of water, Reyna thought she could see two figures struggling to break the surface. When the Fifth Cohort cast their nets to drag them ashore, the ropes snapped under the force of the current.

           Reyna scrambled for a plan. She wished Percy was here. She could hear herself shouting for some chains—that they could harpoon the Pax brothers and drag them to shore with something less breakable.

They’d be injured, but they would be able to breathe, assuming she didn’t hit a lung.

           At least the Little Tiber decided to drown them in a whirlpool right in front of camp, instead of dragging them downstream.

           Someone shoved a javelin with an attached chain into her hand. Reyna dashed to the edge of the water, taking aim. She hoped she wouldn’t hit a vital organ.

           Before she could throw, an eagle the size of a golf cart swooped over the water.

           “Hold!” Reyna shouted at her troops.

           The eagle snapped its claws into the water, snatching two people up.

           As soon as they were out, the Little Tiber swirled back to its peaceful course. Like it hadn’t tried to kill two demigods. But that left Reyna wondering two questions: why had the Little Tiber so desperately tried to murder Axel and Pax? And where was the seventh member of their group?

             When the eagle landed with the Pax brothers and morphed back into Frank, Reyna was surprised to find that she was shaking. She stepped towards the other praetor and the presumed Pax brothers.

The two figures had black canvas bags tied over their heads. Both wore dark dress shirts that the Little Tiber had nearly shredded. Their hands were bound behind their backs, proving they never had a chance to swim.

           They choked, gagged, and coughed. The smaller of the two threw up some water.

           Frank knelt down beside the smaller to untie the black canvas. “What happened?” he asked, his eyes wide as he helped hold up the tinier boy.

           Reyna knelt beside Axel. Even with the bag over his head, she could easily recognize him by the scar on his hip. With the way the Little Tiber had destroyed his shirt, she could see it extend from below his pant-line halfway up his side.

           Frank tugged off Pax’s black bag. The young Hispanic’s dark hair stuck out wildly. Pax’s yellow and black eyes darted about the soldiers and his gagging changed into a startled gasp. In Spanish, he babbled in a panic. “Holy Titans! New Rome?! She sent us to New Rome?!”

           Reyna scowled at Pax, but decided it would be better to ask why New Rome made him so nervous in private. And why he saw it proper to call upon the Titans.

“I’m going to remove the bag over your head,” she informed Axel.

           He muttered in a language she didn’t understand, likely Mayan from what he’d said about himself previously.

           Reyna’s ears popped. For half a second, she felt like there was an air vacuum around Axel. Magic¸ she realized and tore the black bag away.

           Reyna almost forgot about the magic when she saw the leather muzzle strapped around Axel’s jaw.

           His dark eyes searched around in alarm. Once he saw Pax crawling closer to cower beside him and the Fifth Cohort helping the rest of his team over, he relaxed slightly. Despite his usual deep tan, he was sickly pale, making the systematic scars along his face more prominent. Judging from how scruffy his normally-neat goatee was, they must have been held captive for at least two weeks.  

           “Reyna,” he whispered, then clenched his jaw in what she readily recognized as humiliation.

           Reyna unbuckled the muzzle from his face. Some of the skin on his cheeks had rubbed off with the straps. When she withdrew her knife and cut the binding around his arms, she could see some blood oozing from his chest. Nudging the scarps of material to the side revealed a puncture wound through his shoulder. Like someone had shot him and the river had reopened the wound.

           Reyna wished her hands would stop shaking as she put away her knife. She didn’t register that Frank and some of the other soldiers had asked her a question. Or that Pax was whining to Axel in Spanish.

           Axel tried to stand and wavered. Reyna caught his good shoulder, knowing someone like him would find it unforgivable to collapse in front of her, her troops, or his friends. Before she knew what she was doing, her tattoo burned and she could sense Axel’s panic, helplessness, and overwhelming guilt. The guilt of a leader who failed.

In that instant, Reyna knew the seventh member of their group was dead.  

           He frowned at the glowing symbol of Bellona on her forearm. Gently but firmly, he removed her hand. Reyna could feel some of her strength ebb into Axel, just enough to help him stand. Her symbol returned to a dull black.    

           “I think I’m going to owe you more than a cup of hot chocolate and a circus performance after this,” he said, his voice hoarse. By now, Pax had crawled over to hide behind Axel’s leg. Axel leaned carefully so he wouldn’t fall over as he ruffled his brother’s hair. Although she knew how twisted he felt inside, his dark gaze remained calm as he said, “Please help my troops.”

           Reyna felt the gaze of the First and Fifth Cohort’s on her. Even Frank, still too self-conscious about his new role as praetor, was waiting for her verdict.

           As far as the River Tiber was concerned, Axel and his friends were enemies of New Rome. She thought about what she’d discovered last time she met him—that he wasn’t a demigod. She considered the words on the note as well: something you know you desperately desire and don’t know that you already hate.

           “Dakota, Michael, take a few guards and bring them inside,” she said, briskly turning towards her centurions. They snapped to attention. “Summon a healer while you take them in. Frank and I will question them to find out if we should help them or kill them.”

           “We will?” Frank asked. He stood up from kneeling beside Pax. Upon seeing her glare, he also snapped to attention. “I mean, yes Reyna—er—of course we will.”

           One day, Frank would remember they were the same rank when she gave an order.

           As the legionnaires moved, Reyna withheld a frown. This was uncomfortably close to what happened with Percy last summer. And like last summer, she could tell the new arrivals were a bad omen.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Our two teams finally cross, and I am giddy to see how you react to it!

And how are you liking The Dark Prophecy that just came out-I know I just started reading it :D

Now, assuming I'm not lazy and not distracted devouring that book (so... highly unlikely. I excel at the art of laziness) I'll get another double release with Reyna's The Scent of a Liar later this weekend!

This is part two of my answers to Guylty’s DistRAction Challenge. Esther’s part two is here.

Part one here:

15. Favourite quote of a chaRActer?

16. Saddest chaRActer death? Guy of Gisborne’s death because it marked the end of Guy of Gisborne (obviously) and also the happy duel-purpose watching of Robin Hood, with my young son on Saturdays, at 7.45pm. I still get delicious nostalgic shivers at the weekend in anticipation of regular Guy doses at that time .

R.I.P. Gisborne the Glorious

17. Favourite century? My favourite century is the 18th but Richard hasn’t graced that time – so far (apart from Clarissa but that was audio). I don’t know – preferably one where facial hair wasn’t obligatory. I love his 21st century personas but it would be nice to see him in a different period – 18th-century highwayman, stern Edwardian, swashbuckling pirate, scheming Plantagenet King (but not with King Oberon’s hair – is that possible?) noble ancient-Roman …

18. Your consolation show, i.e. your go-to show when you need distRAction? If I didn’t allow myself to only watch North and South once a year on my birthday I would probably choose that for comforting escapism. I don’t tend to watch individual episodes of my favourite RA series. Oddly, it’s probably Hannibal as I enjoy it so much or Strike Back.

19. Theatre or small/big screen? Nothing beats the excitement of seeing Richard Armitage live, even being in the same room is enough, but these opportunities are few and far between, so I’ll pick the small screen, as there tends to be more Armitage screen time and I enjoyed the anticipation of seeing him week after week (which I could have had with The Stranger if  I’d been more disciplined).

20. Best costume/look? No, I really can’t choose:  there is Gisborne’s leather  – any black leather-clad Armitage,  Richard impeccable in suits, particularly with an open necked white shirt, his Berlin Station great great-coat with the turned-up collar,  his so sexy fitted Spooks and Hannibal jackets, the bomber jackets of Berlin Station and The Stranger, the beige raincoat in the latter  …. 

Exhibits 1-6

But then again ..

.

21. Imagine your favourite chaRActer – assign them a colour, a scent and a chocolate flavour

Black,  leather, Black Magic (the dark chocolates)

22. Your favourite audio book? David Copperfield.  I want to drive through the streets with a megaphone, shake people vigorously by the shoulders, fly a plane with a streamer proclaiming how incredible Richard Armitage’s narration is:  the astonishing variety of his accents is a revelation but also his love for his favourite book shines through in his sensitive and perceptive understanding of Dickens’s words.

23. Your favourite piece of fan art you own? I don’t own many pieces but those that I have are treasured and made with such kindness, care and consideration that I don’t want to choose one above the others. I did enjoy smirking secretly at my Gisbauble ( from the Flat Ritchie tour box) hanging from my tree this year, hidden in plain sight.

24. If you had the opportunity to meet RA, what would you like to talk to him about? I’ve often fantasised about meeting Richard Armitage, bumping into him in the country side, being stuck in a lift together or on a long drive (and I often dream of him when he’s  trying to get away from me, which seems an unfair waste of a dream).

As I’m rather inarticulate and quiet, I would want to feel on safe ground with my subject. As I love film, and can talk relatively volubly on the subject, we would have lots to discuss (as well as which side of the bed he prefers!).

25. Anything you dislike about the fandom? I like the fandom a lot more than I dislike it. The odious quibbling, divisive party-lines, blind adoration (although I can be guilty of that) is tiresome but expected in a wildly varied group who like different facets of  the divine one.  The thing I do dislike – and I feel really mean saying this – and there have are some breathtakingly good pieces, which I admire  –  are some of the drawings and paintings of RA, where his features are slightly  wonky (and I can be guilty of these). A personal bug-bear of mine also is seeing Armitage cute-sified, but I mean no criticism of others. I just don’t like to see my potent fantasy figure emasculated.

Thanks for reading and thanks Guylty for providing this distRAction!

*I apologise if I’ve used any images without permission. I will credit where I can but I have no idea where some originated from. Please let me know if I have used any of your images and I will either remove them or credit.

Meeting the Richard Armitage DistRAction Challenge – part two This is part two of my answers to Guylty's DistRAction Challenge. Esther's part two is…