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avenging-criminal-bones · 3 years

Text

After All This Time || Chapter Five

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Word Count: 2,146

Chapter Summary: Anger. And harshness, maybe feelings. I haven't decided yet so I guess you'll have to just read to find out.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: angst?, asshat hotch again, sad feels

A/N: Guys, I'm like legitimately so sorry that this chapter took so long. It's not even that I've been all that busy. I definitely did go to California for two weeks, but after that I think I just got lazy? Had writer's block? I don't know. But New chapter is UP.

TAGLIST:

@kingofthetwats @wanniiieeee @uwu-sebastianstan @piggyinthesea @yoshigguk @thatisthemagic @errorcosplay67 @ivebeenthinkingboutu @big-galaxy-chaos @rynfoxsleeps @phoenixsnape1 @mojofun @pachiibatt @enjoymyloves @thenewnormalforensicator @word-scribbless @zezezena @chelseyjoyce @ellyhotchner @lora21 @flipperpenguins @illegal-brains @sunnysaysbookreviews @anti-zippy-snoot @kya-li

You come to eleven hours later, the first thing that you hear being the steady beep of a monitor.

The hospital.

It smells... white, the cleanness of it making you scrunch your nose. Still not having opened your eyes, you sense the brightness, almost making you not want to at all.

However, you knew how hospital visits work. When Reid was injured, the whole team was there waiting for him to wake up. With that push, that you had people waiting for you to wake up, you opened your eyes.

Everything was too bright at first. You felt your lips fall into a grimace and joked aloud, "You guys don't need to be so quiet, she lives."

There was no response, and as your vision cleared up, the wind was knocked out of you like a punch to the gut.

Empty.

The whole room was empty. Aside from you and the TV, there was no talking. There were no people.

For a moment you thought that you were dead. Or maybe dreaming, because who wakes up from a seemingly severe injury with no support system? With no friends.

You hear your heartbeat speed up before you feel it, but boy do you feel it when it hits.

The monitor must send an alert to the nurses' station or something because shortly after, a small, black-haired woman rushes into the room.

"Agent L/N? Are you alright, is there any-,"

"I just- where- did my- wh-where is my team?" The stutter surprised you and you sat up fast, not realizing how prominent the pain in your abdomen was until it was too late. You let out a soft gasp, but looked at the nurse to hear an answer.

"Oh, uh, honey... I asked as they left and the tall, broody one said that there was an emergency." She walked up to you and turned a dial on your IV machine, gently asking you to lay down again.

You complied, not fully paying attention. Your mind was somewhere else; thinking about the harshness of your team, but you had to assume that this was Hotchner's doing.

"You alright, sweetie," the kind nurse asks, her name is Monica.

You nod slowly, your head feeling a lot lighter than it had when you woke up. "Yeah. I'm okay. Um, before you go can you hand me my phone?"

She nods, looking at you for where, and you gesture to the bag that's slightly out of your reach. Monica hands you both the phone and its charger, pointing to an outlet on the wall behind your head.

Nodding in thanks, you plug the charger into the wall and watch the kind nurse leave before unlocking your phone. You see immediately that you have five missed calls from your mother, and after further searching, you notice messages from Emily, JJ, and Penelope. JJ's was the most recent, so you open hers first.

JJ (BAU) 43 minutes ago.

Hey Y/N, In case you wake up before we get back, Hotch called our debrief meeting, so we all went back to the precinct. Sorry, hon.

xoxo JJ and the Girls

You didn't register the tears until they were falling down your cheeks. You sighed a bit and replied to JJ's message with a short, 'got it'.

As soon as you pushed the 'send' button, the door to your room opened again and your entire team rushed in.

Well, most of the team.

Really, everyone except one person.

You were quick to wipe your eyes, trying to hide the fact that you had been crying. JJ walked to the chair beside your bed and sat down, giving you the most gentle hug as she did.

"Did you get my message? Are you feeling okay? Do you need a nurse, any water?"

"JJ, you're momming her," Derek joked as he bent to give you a hug. "For real though, you feelin' alright, lil mama?"

You nodded, sending him a tight-lipped smile as Emily walked over to the other side of your bed, bringing Penelope with her on a video call.

Spencer even came by, but he looked relatively uncomfortable and stayed by the door.

Waving at him a bit, you say, "You can come in you know. I won't bite."

"I know, Y/N. I was just worried. Statistically speaking, you survived on an off-chance. The ratio was close to 83:17, and the bullet entered your abdomen in-"

"I get it Spence. I should be dead," you pause slightly seeing everyone's wide-eyed look at your bluntness, "BUT I didn't die, so everyone can stop looking at my like I'm going to break and just settle." You chuckle a bit and sigh as you see the rest of the team besides Spencer nod their heads or visibly relax their shoulders.

"You're right, kiddo," Rossi says quietly, "You're okay, and we can celebrate that."

"Thanks, Rossi." Smiling, you lean into his hand, which was cradling the side of your face for a moment. "Can someone get Hotchner please? I had some words that I'd like to have him hear."

JJ places her hand on your arm then and says, "Y/N, maybe that's not the best idea right now."

"No," you shake your head and make eye contact with her, "That's exactly what I need right now."

"Y/N..."

"Spencer, can you go get him please? He's just sitting out in the lobby, correct?" You snap a little harsher than you meant to.

The boy stutters a bit, but eventually nods his head and walks out of the room. The rest of the team shares a look before also walking out, giving you space for when your boss comes in.

Sitting up straighter in the bed, you even your mouth into a thin line just as Hotchner walks in the room.

"Am I off the clock right now, sir?" You don't miss the way his eyes flash to your lips but you choose to ignore it.

He sighs and crosses his arms over his chest, "Say what you need to say, agent."

"Who the hell do you think you are? Calling the debrief not only at a time where one of the team members can't make it, but when the team member is in the hospital with a GSW wound." Your voice rises steadily as you continue talking, but you have more to say. "Not only that, but you couldn't even be bothered to make sure I was okay when the debrief was over?" Subconsciously, you recognize the switch from a third-person mindset to a personal one, but you pay it no mind.

"Agent L/N, you-"

"No. You will call me Y/N, and I will be calling you Aaron. We aren't on the clock right now and you don't deserve my professionalism," the heart monitor spikes in tempo, and you throw the blanket off of your lap.

He quirks an eyebrow at you as you command him, but nods his head slightly, letting you be in control for the moment. "Go ahead, Y/N. You get whatever irrational anger you have towards me out in the open and we can deal with the consequences later."

"I left EVERYTHING for this job, Aaron. I left my mom, who never stopped grieving a lost son, I left my job there thinking this would be better, and I lost friends and people who actually cared about my well-being. People who wouldn't leave one of their own in an unknown hospital to wake up by themself, not sure if they were even actually alive since there wasn't anyone with them." You saw Aaron flinch with everything that you listed, but you didn't care. He needed to hear it. "So yeah, Aaron. I get to be angry, and you don't get to tell me it's irrational, because this is the most rational I think I've been this entire year."

"Y/N. You put not only yourself, but me, and the rest of the team in danger yesterday. Excuse me if I don't want to see you and be around you while you're in the hospital." Really, if burned Aaron to his core that he couldn't reach over and tuck the stray piece of hair behind your ear, because right now that's what he wanted to do. Except it's inappropriate and he's not sure you'd let him within three feet of you.

"NO! You see, that's not how it works. Are you telling me that if you saw a little boy with a gun trained on them, you wouldn't have done the exact same thing?" Hot tears fill your eyes, but you don't wipe them. You almost hope that him seeing you cry will make him feel bad, if even just a little.

Glancing at the way his jaw was set and how he clenched his fists in his lap, you knew he was struggling to keep his cool, so of course you pushed harder.

"What if it was Jack, Aaron."

"Dammit, L/N, it wasn't Jack. It was just some boy that we couldn't save. We shouldn't have been able to save him. You didn't use the training you had, and you didn't use the rational part of your brain. As terrible as that sounds, and trust me, I never want to lose a victim, if you had used the training from the bureau, we wouldn't have saved him. " Aaron stands up and paces the length of the bed then, feeling your eyes following him the whole time.

You shake your head as you let your gaze fall to your lap. "I wasn't going to let him die again... I wouldn't have been able to live with myself."

Aaron's eyebrows furrow a bit and he looks at you with angry curiosity in his eyes, "Again? What do you mean by that?" That's when Hotch remembered earlier when you mentioned her mother who lost a son. "Y/N, did your brother... No. Actually, I'm sorry, just forget I said anything,"

There was a dark anger in your eyes as you shook your head. "No, Aaron. Ask me. Ask me this one question, and then reassess your profiling of me."

His gaze turned steely as he squared his shoulders again, showing no emotion in his voice as he spoke. He almost felt like the best way to approach you right now was as if you were the unsub.

"Was your brother murdered, Y/N?"

Dropping your head, you feel the tears burning in your eyes again and you nod. "He was only five. He had his whole life ahead of him. You'd think a child would be safe with a group of nuns or a priest, but no. Not even them. He was branded with a cross before he was killed and it's just unfair."

Aaron starts to walk closer to your bed, seeing the devolving pattern of your breathing, "Y/n, I'm so sorry, I-"

"No. Aaron, just, please go. I'll catch a flight home when I'm allowed to fly again, so you guys just go home and I'll figure it out. I mean, that's what I did when I was waking up by myself, right? Go ahead and fire me if you need to, suspend me, I don't care anymore, but I'll come back when the hospital says it's safe." You take a deep breath and watch as he turns away.

He gets all the way to the door before he turns back around and says, "What was his name."

"Joey."

Hotch nods and walks out of the door, remembering that the final victim, the one that you saved, was named Joseph.

After the encounter with Hotch you fell asleep. The heavy medication and the anger in your head knocked you out easily. You were asleep for a few hours, but you woke up when your pain medication wore off.

You noticed that your work phone had a few notifications, so you sat up a bit and looked through them.

There were two that stood out to you. The first one was a notification that read "Hotchner (Asshat) has added you to the group 'BAU Team'". The second was his message in that group chat.

Hotchner (Asshat) 2 hours ago

Hey team, change in plans. We will be staying here until Y/N gets cleared to fly. It should only be a couple of days and I know we were planning on flying out tonight. Sorry, Thanks.

As soon as you liked his message, your texts were blowing up from Emily. She was saying stuff about how "he totally likes you", and about, "you had a rough time on this case".

Also, apparently Derek saved all of his sarcasm for when Hotch got back, and the thought made you smile.

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #hotch #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds x reader #angst #sadness #talk of child death

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perpetuelledaydreaming · 4 years

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Illicit affairs -Prologue

General Summary: y/n stark returns after she escaped New York & peter’s rather anxious to see her after what happened between them. But neither fury or tony care about it and assign a mission to them: capture black cat and kingpin. Should be easy right? No, lol. While y/n and peter try to navigate their new “friendship” and try work together to capture kingpin, y/n gets tangled with one pretty felicia hardy and peter doesn’t like it at all. Jealousy doesn’t suit peter or y/n, secret meetings are a must, partying too and even a couple of hookups; everything to save the world, right?

Summary: y/n comes back from spending one year and a half in Europe for a mission, peter’s nervous as hell for her return and tony is not having any of their shit, so instead of buying an oversize “get-along-shirt” he decides to place them in a “get-along-mission”.

Listen to: Dreams - Fleetwood Mac and Illicit affairs - Taylor Swift

word count: 7.7k

(author’s note at the end now)

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Peter stared at the entrance of the Compound, hands in the pockets of his jeans with an absent expression drawn on his face. He could hear all the steps of people walking on the compound and he recognized there were far more than what he had gotten used to in one year and a half.

He remembered how much he had craved the same activity as before, to see his mentors but especially to see you. But now he was panicking, his thoughts were screaming for him to leave before anything could go wrong but still every nerve on his body was pulling him into the compound and he knew the reason. He still couldn’t really process how much his heart still ache to see you again, even after you had been gone all this time without any type of contact.

But it wasn’t a surprise that you had been avoiding him.

He knew he had told Tony about what had happened between the two of you and he was sure that you had told him your version of events. But it still seemed like Tony didn’t remember when he had called Peter earlier in the day, he had a mission for him and needed him on the compound with the whole team.

“The whole team?”

“Yeah, they came back yesterday”

Peter froze midway on his walk to another building on campus for his next class, since he had decided to double major in biophysics and electronic engineering. Tony had dismissed his long pause as he explained the logistics of the meeting and how he could have Happy pick him up if he wanted, Peter didn’t respond and simply by omission agreed for Happy to do it, although he had his car.

After the call, the rest of the day had been a blur until Happy called him to tell him he was in front of the main campus of Columbia waiting for him. Peter didn’t talk on the ride to the compound and hadn’t even checked in with anyone else in his life.

He was only focused on what would it be to see you again.

It was Peter’s first time on Stark Tower after Tony had made him go on a mission regarding Captain America, the Winter Soldier, and Germany. Peter had returned from Germany for about a week when he finally got his call for him to go visit Stark Tower and Peter had been more than excited to go.

“So kid, this is how it’ll work”, Tony explained to him as the door opened to a spacious metallic, modern industrial looking floor that blinded Peter for a second. “There are four different labs here: we have my lab, which is obviously the biggest, Bruce’s lab for when he decides to pay us a visit, Keener’s lab and my daughter’s lab over there”

Peter had been stuck a bit when Tony mentioned someone named Keener since Peter didn’t know anything about anyone else working with them, but everything was washed away when he remembered you.

It hadn’t always been known that Tony Stark had a kid, you had lived with your mother until she had passed away when you were about five years old and it had been kept a well-hidden secret until Tony was kidnapped. Obadiah Stane had, unfortunately, decided that it would appeal to Tony’s kidnappers’ emotions that his own child would ask for his return. Pepper had been against it, but Stane hadn’t listened and then the world knew about you.

Since then, the media had been in a frenzy about Tony’s Stark daughter and they didn’t stop, although there wasn’t much, they could get out of you. The main things the world knew about you were that you had left a private school in Malibu when Tony became Ironman and had been homeschooled since you had the same brain as your father and were most likely a super-genius, you got to go to events sometimes regarding Stark’s Industries and, most importantly, you were a member of The Avengers.

“Dad, where are the blueprints of the exoskeleton?”, a silvery voice asked, coming from your lab and then it followed with your presence.

Peter was in awe as he took you in. Peter noticed your smile first, it was so warm that it melted him inside when he noticed how well it go with your bright y/e/c eyes. They seemed like galaxies for him, he also noticed your long hair, much longer than the last time Peter had seen on the paparazzi pictures. But what made him smile even more was that you were on leggings and a light blue sweatshirt, looking like a normal teenager but with goggles on, soldering iron on one hand, and a hologram of your suit in the other.

You were so focused on the design that you were too close when you finally raised your head from the hologram and stopped dead on your tracks when you noticed Peter.

“Darling, meet Peter Parker”, Tony announced as he patted Peter on the back and pulled him towards your direction. “Parker, meet my daughter”

When you looked up, your gaze linked up with those chocolate light eyes with golden specks and you immediately smiled, knowing exactly who he was.

“Hi- Hi, what…” Peter’s words stumbled against one another, “I’m Peter”

Peter seemed small and timid, he even looked younger than what you actually thought he was. The freckles that adorned his face didn’t help him look older either but they looked like a constellation, they were accompanied by chocolate curls that fell on his forehead and framed his face perfectly.

“Lovely to meet you Spiderman”, you replied playfully.

Peter smiled back and after that, you were smitten.

As time passed you got closer and closer, you were the youngest on the team so it wasn’t a surprise for any of the other avengers that you had finally found a partner and were sticking together.

Peter felt like a breeze of fresh air as he stood in front of you with his new suit on the compound trying it while you cheered for him along with your father. Peter was everything you hope for someone to be outside of your main circle that mainly contained The Avengers, Pepper, and Tony. He was brave, intelligent, loyal, and, most importantly, he was the kindest person that you had ever met.

And Peter, he didn’t even doubt for a second that he needed you in his life, you were sunshine for him. When you worked together on your suit and helped you train to adjust to it, he was completely amazed by your intelligence and discipline. But mostly, it was your warmth and sensitivity, your ability to notice things that most wouldn’t, and your compassion were things that made him fall for you.

But nothing could be so good, nothing came that easy to anyone and the way that you had parted ways broke both of your hearts.

“Aren’t you gonna come in?”, Happy asked Peter as he passed by him and began climbing the stairs to the main entrance.

Peter sighed as he followed Happy inside, the compound had always seemed to be larger than life itself when he had visited it for the first time but with you, it soon felt like a second home for Peter. The last few moments that you’ve had together before you walked away from each other, you had spent almost every waking free moment in there, even using your rooms more there than in the city. But after you left, he had decided to spent less time in the compound, not that it was easier to spend his time in Stark’s tower, but the compound had become such your place that he had been avoiding it as much as he could after it.

He shuddered at the thought of you walking again through those hallways but giving him the same glare, you had given him the last time that you had seen each other. It haunted him until this day, how your eyes were swimming with resentment and how you had walked away from him.

“Peter”, Steve’s voice woke up Peter from his thoughts and quickly embraced him in a tight hug, Peter smiled into it and embraced Steve back.

“Captain”, he answered amuse as they let go of each other. Peter was surprised by Steve’s new beard and longer hair, he didn’t look anything like before he went, he seemed more badass than before. “Trying to copy Thor?”

See, although Peter had become a kind of surrogate son for Tony, Steve was still really involved with Peter since he saw a lot of himself in small Peter, especially after meeting him in Germany and getting to know him when they finally came back. And Peter really appreciated having Steve as another father figure as well, mostly because he was a closer take on Uncle Ben than what Tony was.

“Yeah, I got that from y/n already”, Steve chuckled as he walked with Peter towards the conference room.

Peter flinched at the sound of your name and Steve noticed it right away.

“She doesn’t hate you”, Steve stated as they reached the door, Peter could already hear your voice and he felt like he was going to be sick, his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest at any given moment and he closed his eyes as he remembered your last conversation. “She would never”

But Peter believed otherwise.

“I can’t wait to see your friends again!”, you squealed as you walked through the cold streets of New York with Peter by your side while he smiled and tightened the hold on your hand.

Flash had organized a rather impromptu “almost New Year’s” party, he would’ve done a real New Year’s party but he knew that all of his friends had their commitments so, there he was three days before New Year throwing out a real rave.

Although you had never attended Midtown, you had become good friends with Ned, Betty, MJ, and Flash. Peter’s friends had always been so special to you, that you had thrown them your own goodbye party before they had left for college six months before. Ned had gotten to MIT, MJ studied in Columbia just like Peter while Betty had gone to Harvard and Flash had chosen to leave the east coast, he went to Berkley.

“Ned and Betty are going to be so happy to see you, sometimes I think they like you more than me”, Peter replied as he recalled how much he had missed his friends. He had spent time with MJ and facetime was a must on the weekends, nonetheless, he had also tried to make new friends during the semester and he had even invited some over to Flash’s party.

“That’s a lie, but I’ll take it”, you said with a shrug as Peter turned around to smile at you.

“Who wouldn’t love you?”, Peter stated as he watched you intently, your eyes link and you began to feel your heart ticking like a bomb, soon you looked away to the street, quickly changing the topic.

Mostly, this semester had brought you even closer. Peter spent more time on the compound than on his dorm room, so much that he even walked in on a naked Otto (his new roommate) since he hadn’t expected Peter to return to their dorm last week.

Your days were spent patrolling, training, on your lab or your room, not even on Peter’s who was given a room a year prior by Tony. It was quite an awesome achievement since you had been taking some classes at MIT while also interning for Tony and Pepper, both of them. Peter didn’t know how you managed to do all of that and spent as much time as you did together, but you thought the same since he was going full-time to college and also working on his Spiderman duties.

But you did, you and Peter had arranged everything in your life, you juggled every responsibility as much as you could so you could see each other. If it meant getting fewer hours of sleep, flying from Boston to New York the same day, even if it meant wearing your suit to fly, although Pepper disapproved.

He had even spent a couple of nights in your room, sleeping together after late nights on the streets.

“I’ve been waiting to go to a party since forever”, you gushed as you climbed the elevator to Flash’s while Peter helped you remove your long black coat, revealing a black silky dress. Peter watched your body slowly, his gaze dropped down to one of your legs that were exposed by the slit on it and then to your exposed back. Peter gulped as you turned around and fixed your hair. “You are going to save me a dance, right?”, you continued as you batter your eyelashes in a show of mock innocence.

But Peter’s smile slowly slid off his face as he felt how his cheeks were burning with a slight blush as you searched for his eyes. He knew you were mocking him; he knew you weren’t possibly serious because there was no way that you, Y/N Stark, were actually flirting with him.

“Su-sure”, he muttered as his eyes connected to yours.

But the thing was that you weren’t kidding.

You weren’t completely sure when your relationship with Peter had shifted, you had always been close to Peter and you cared about him, a lot more than sometimes you thought it was healthy or normal for best friends. But it was the first night that he had decided to spend the night in your room, you had been tired since you had stopped more crimes than what you had expected and the criminals were far harder to defeat than the usual petty burglars.

That night you had talked about everything. You had begun light and playful, with Peter picking you up as you recall how you had managed to defeat a couple of guys who were trying to steal an ATM. You had laughed at Peter’s goofy narration of events while you played with his hair. But then, after a few laughs, you remain silent for a couple of minutes, watching each other.

You didn’t know what compelled you, but after a few minutes on that night, you hit each other with the hardest things in your life and how you were struggling with it.

You had told him about your deepest fear of not being good enough, how you were actually struggling mentally with your responsibilities but also hating yourself for not doing enough in your eyes, for not being the best version of yourself that you had to imagine you would be, for not being the perfect girl everyone thought you were. How sometimes you resented Tony because everyone was expecting so much from you but it also felt like you were going to explode if you didn’t stop. How sometimes you wished you could rebel and get away from whatever image they had from you.

And it was a complete surprise when Peter had told you that he understood. He had revealed, after so many years of friendship, what had really happened with his Uncle Ben; how he had selfishly decided to let a criminal go since he was just stealing some food and then how the same burglar had shot Uncle Ben without a second thought when he had tried to stop him. He felt so morally responsible for Uncle Ben's death that Peter had saved up so much anger inside of him that when he captured the man, he had almost killed him. No one knew about it, no one knew that Peter could hold such anger in him and everyone thought he was just this harmless boy, that could do no wrong or that had never experienced the weight of emotions, how they could drown you.

He showed you his scars and you showed him yours.

You saw each other at your best and your worst.

And your bond became stronger before you even realized it yourself, you knew you were in love with Peter Parker and, although you weren’t sure, you thought he loved you too.

“Peter?”, a fruity voice snapped you both out of the trance.

You turned around to see Gwen Stacy, the petite friend of MJ and Peter at Columbia. You remembered her since you had met her a few times when you drove Peter to college. She was a science major and usually a study buddy for Peter whenever he had to miss class because of his Spiderman responsibilities. She was also way too beautiful; she was blonde with a short blunt bob perfectly framing her face and her sapphire green eyes.

“Gwen!”, Peter said playfully to her. As he exited the elevator with your coat in hand while you cleared your throat, irritation showing its awful head on your heart as you watched him hugging Gwen and the way Gwen pressed a soft kiss on his cheek.

When Peter pulled away, he smiled at her and you felt your face dropping.

“Y/N, come!”, Peter said softly as you exited the elevator with an absent expression.

The rest of the evening was okay, you had spent time with Betty and Ned, dancing along with MJ, and even had managed to drag Peter to the dance floor although he had refused at first. Flash had been flirting with you non-stop since he saw you with that dress, to the point that Peter had shot him a glare or two before he stopped. If Peter was being honest, he believed to only have eyes for you that night but your mood had changed since you had arrived and he was clueless as to why.

You hadn’t said anything but he knew your body language enough, almost by second nature, to realize that you were tense and nervous. He could feel your heart raising its beat each time he got closer to you but he also noticed how your muscles tensed up when things got too quiet, at least that’s what he thought.

The thing was that you were annoyed because, at every turn, Gwen Stacy was there talking to Peter or flirting with him, you decided to stay quiet because you weren’t in the mood to fight with someone.

“It’s everything okay?”, Peter asked as he met you in one of the large windows of Flash’s penthouse, watching New York.

You turned around to watch Peter, his wild chocolate curls were controlled by the gel that he had decided to put earlier that evening at your place, he was wearing nice elegant pants with loafers and an open white shirt that fitted him perfectly. He looked perfect for you and you couldn’t help but blush when he got closer to you.

“I’m okay, I just…”, you muttered and the words dissolute in the air, not wanting to finish the sentence.

You weren’t okay but you didn’t know if it was a good time to say so, it wasn’t Peter’s fault that Gwen was interested in him, but it was exasperating that he hadn’t said anything about her advantages. Still, what infuriated you more was your attitude, you weren’t usually afraid of many things and you took pride in that but every time you wanted to yell to Peter that you loved him, nothing came out.

“Y/N…”, Peter asked you as he placed his hand on the small of your back, in a comforting way.

His eyes were searching yours as you licked your lips nervously. But soon, the fear was too much, it overwhelmed you so badly that you stubbornly looked away, glaring at the city.

“I’ll be right back”, you answer and quickly got yourself loose from his hold and walked away, leaving a confused Peter behind.

You felt out of breath when you got to the bathroom and quickly shut the door. As you saw yourself in the mirror you realized how angry you felt, you glared at yourself and cursed under your breath, quickly closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, before you opened them again.

“Get your shit together and just tell him already”, you growled.

You loathed yourself at that exact second, you hated feeling so weak and that the feeling of not telling Peter was eating you alive. It was time to get it over with, you knew Peter, you knew him like the back of your hand and he wouldn’t hurt you, right? He could never hurt you; he was your Peter Parker, angry and sweet, for good or for bad, you knew him. And if he did feel the same way as you did, then it would all be worth it.

You smiled at the thought of you and Peter together, like you had wished for a while now and everything seemed to work. Tony had even mentioned something about it the week before and how he would be totally happy if you had feelings for Peter, which you hadn’t denied to him but hadn’t accepted either to him.

So, you exited the bathroom with new energy flowing through your body, you wanted to tell Peter how you had fallen for him, how you wanted to feel his lips against yours one more time, how you wanted for him to hold you as he did but now with your feelings out in the open.

You wanted him.

You walked through the party, searching for the boy with chocolate eyes and golden specks, without minding your friends who had an almost uncomfortable look on their faces but then you saw it….

Peter who you were in love with, Peter that you saw as your one and only, Peter that you had opened yourself to for so many years and the guy who you believed belong with you was with Gwen Stacy, tangled in an embrace as they kissed each other. She was cupping his face sweetly as he had his arms around her torso, their mouths dancing as if they were the only two people on the planet.

You stared at them in shock.

Everything seemed to shatter into a million pieces. Everything. The late-night talks. The laughs and giggles. The holding hands. The missions together. The time you spend in the lab. The gazes lock in together. The trust.

It wasn’t only until they finished that Peter turned around and watched you in shock.

You turned around without a word and fled, no one could stop you, not even MJ who tried to take a hold of your hand which you brushed off.

You were sure that in that second, you were able to hear your heartbreaking like it was glass, as you hurriedly tried to look for your coat in Flash’s room as fast as you could. You wished that you had brought your suit but you had decided to leave it for the night since the plan had been going back to Stark’s Tower with Peter.

You felt so stupid.

“Y/N!”, you could hear Peter shouting behind you while you look for your coat as quickly as you could but it seemed lost with the rest of the clothes that were on Flash’s bed.

You stopped as you heard the door closing, you closed your eyes and waited for him to say anything. You hoped that maybe Peter would tell you that Gwen had just gone for it and that it was a mistake, something, anything, that would negate what you had just seen.

But he stayed quiet and as each second pass, you felt hot rage bubbled up within your chest.

“Since when?”

“What?”, Peter asked, his voice was small and confused.

“Since when have you had feelings for Gwen?”, you repeated. “It was since you met her? Was it since Halloween? I want to know”

“Y/N-”

“Tell me Peter or I swear to god!”, you shouted, spinning around and fixing Peter with a sharp glare, so full of loathing and pain, that Peter felt like it pierced right through him.

He didn’t understand your rage, he didn’t understand why you had run away after you had seen him with Gwen. He couldn’t even phantom that you had feelings for him like he did for you, it had been a dream for him that you felt the same way that he felt at the same moment that he met you. But years had passed and Peter believed that being the confident woman that you were, there wasn’t a way that you hadn’t already told him how you felt.

“She begun flirting with me since we met, it wasn’t…”, Peter cleared his throat, meeting your gaze steadily. “It wasn’t planned, she just confessed her feelings for me and you like her too! She’s nice and sweet, she’s smart and I…”

You closed your eyes in pain as you heard Peter’s words.

Your eyes welled with tears as you shook your heart in disbelief, you felt as if your heart was being torn apart. Realizing that all the things that you were worried about were the truth.

“I’m so stupid”, you whispered to yourself.

Peter furrowed his eyes and he tried to get closer but you flinched.

It hurt.

“Why are you stupid, y/n?”, Peter asked in a gruff voice, he watched you intently because he knew you well enough to know that you were hiding something from him and if it was what Peter was really thinking, then he needed to know.

But you didn’t answer. You didn’t even want to look at his face any longer, you felt cripple by a broken heart and, in such an uncharacteristic manner, you wished for a second that he could feel the same pain that you were feeling.

“Y/N?”

“Leave me alone, Parker”, you spat as if his name was poison while your eyes narrowed angrily.

It stung more than what Peter wanted to admit as he stared at you for a moment., The way that you had said his name, made him shuddered and tears began to well in his eyes too. He could hear your harshened breaths growing shallow and how you were fighting to keep your tears at bay.

He wanted to stop you but you raced out of the apartment without looking back once. You ran down the snowy sidewalks, running and running in your high heels until you couldn’t see clearly because of your tears. You had kept right on running until you managed to get into the elevator of Stark Tower and you collapsed, sobbing like you hadn’t in your life.

“Dad! Pepper!”

Tony and Pepper had come out running from different parts of the apartment when they saw you on the floor of the elevator.

“Y/N! What’s wrong?”, Pepper said in alarm, as she tried to kneel but her baby bump wouldn’t let her.

But you couldn’t say anything, your sobs wouldn’t let you modulate words as you simply raised from the elevator and clutched her tighter while Tony hugged both of you from behind.

Peter entered the conference room and it was full of avengers, sometimes he still couldn’t believe that it was his life after so many years of working with them, inside the team. But the thought quickly dissipated as his eyes searched for you. It wasn’t too difficult to find you, since everyone was already sitting down, he and Steve were the last ones that had arrived and Fury was already standing up at the edge of the table alongside Tony.

He gave a small wave to Wanda, Bucky, and Sam who had been in the mission with you, Harley gave him an uninterested look which he had ignored because he was permanently annoyed at Harley’s attitude and then he found you sitting beside him, looking absentmindedly whirling your straw around in your drink.

You had changed and it was for good. Your long, long hair was now cut short and it reached a little bit below your shoulders. Your face had become more defined and the pup fat that Peter sometimes bothered you with by pinching your cheeks was gone, now you had sharper cheeks and jaw. You weren’t dressed in sweats like you used to dress before for anything that didn’t involve a party but now you were wearing a turtle knitted sweater that framed your body perfectly with white mom jeans.

You seemed to have grown.

Peter walked up to you and seated himself in the chair across from you, clearing his throat and snapping you out of your little trance. You blinked in surprise and stared at him, looking a little caught off guard.

He looked taller and more fit than before, he had grown into the confident persona that you knew he had deep inside of him, you could tell by the way he was looking at you. But those chocolate eyes with golden specks hadn’t change one bit and neither the constellation of freckles that adorned his face, the ones you loved to trace when you were helping him relax. He was still wearing what he usually wore since the time you met him, except he had dropped the nerdy t-shirts that had been a staple of him during high school, and now he had a white plain t-shirt that combined well with his simple jeans and a dark blue sweatshirt.

But, even if he looked that good, nothing had changed between the two of you.

“How’s Gwen?”, you asked sarcastically as Peter huffed in annoyance.

Peter had tried to reach you for days; he had even intended to go to Stark Tower the day after the fact but Aunt May had fallen ill with a bad cold so he decided to stay with her. But it didn’t stop him from making about a thousand calls to your phone, at night he even wondered if he should call Tony but he was afraid about the fallout of your fight, he knew that Tony wouldn’t change who he was with him but Peter also knew that he would protect you no matter what and if it that meant hiding you from Peter, he would do it.

So, it wasn’t a surprise when Tony didn’t answer either.

Peter couldn’t sleep for days as he stared at his ceiling in silence, replaying the scene in Flash’s room over and over again, your face filled with pain and rage was something that he hadn’t seen. Not even when you were fighting criminals, like the Vulture. And it didn’t help his sleeping situation that Gwen hadn’t stopped texting either.

After you had left the party, Gwen had managed to catch Peter before he reached the elevator and had talked to him about what had happened, she had held him as he cried about you but he decided not to say anything too specific about your fight. Gwen had been there for him and he appreciated, they hadn’t kiss anymore that night but she had been checking in on him, being as sweet as she had always been and Peter was happy? Yes, he was happy that he had someone he could talk to that was there for him since it seemed like even his friends were upset with him too.

But Gwen was not you.

May got better after a couple of days, so, without many hours of sleep, Peter decided to show up at Stark Tower. He hoped that he could talk to you and finally explained what had happened that night, Peter somehow hoped that you would tell him what he wished for but he believed you were far away from that. Still, his only hope was to see you again and talk, say something that could bring you back together.

The elevator opened to the penthouse and it seemed like it was lonelier than what he was expecting. It was late in the morning, so Peter had figured out that you had been already working out since it was your usual routine but he couldn’t hear your heart beating. Peter walked towards the kitchen and hoped that you were already having breakfast and that he had simply missed it but when he arrived, only Tony was there.

Tony turned around and froze as he munched on some berries that he had in his hand.

“What are you doing here, kid?”

Peter nibbled on his bottom lip and he could feel his hands starting to sweat, he quickly placed them in his pockets as he walked towards the island kitchen, “I need to talk to y/n, Mr. Stark please”

It sounded wobblier than Peter had hoped to but it was sincere enough that Tony sighed and relaxed his tense muscles. “She’s not here, kid”, he said as he shook his head, “She’s gone”

“What do you mean?”, Peter asked once more as he got closer to Tony, panic swimming in his eyes.

Tony walked towards Peter and he placed a hand on his shoulder, he squeezed it. “I’m sorry Peter”

“Tony, where is she?”, Peter glared, shooting a look up at Tony who shook his head, as he looked sideways to Peter.

“She left for a mission”, Tony explained to him while Peter turned around to face him, brows bumped together in confusion, he didn’t recall that you had been assigned a mission on the last meeting. “The one in Europe and Asian, she went with Steve, Nat, Bucky, Wanda, and Sam”

Peter felt his stomach sinking because he remembered when Fury and Steve had disclosed the mission: One year at least on the East of Europe and in Asia, locating Hydra Nests to finalize the threat on countries where they could do the most damage. They had decided to pick Steve, Nat, Bucky, Wanda, and Sam because they were the most experienced ones and it was a dangerous mission, they had to be very careful since they were mostly acting undercover because the government didn’t want them there. It was a real possibility for someone to die, more chances than what they usually faced.

“What?”

Peter repeated the same words as he responded to your sarcastic comment, Harley snickering under his hand while you simply gave Peter a phony smile. It was clear that you weren’t really over what had happened a year and a half ago and why should you? Peter was still dating Gwen, as your father had let you know as soon as you got home. You had still hope that nothing had actually happened between them and although it was a longshot, you still wanted to believe that maybe Peter had waited.

But he didn’t and it burned again as if your past feelings, that you thought you had left behind when you climbed the quinjet to Europe, were filling you once more.

Peter’s face turned into a scowl as he watched your attitude and Harley’s. You had changed personality-wise too and he felt frustration growing inside of him. He had hoped that when you came back you had forgotten whatever your reason was to fight with him, he hoped that you would simply fall back into your friendship and that nothing had really changed between the two of you.

But you didn’t and Peter felt confused, he felt confused because it wasn’t fair. It had been almost two years and you were still filled with resentment.

“Mrs. Stark, Mr. Paker”, Fury’s gravelly voice snapped you both out of your glares. “Can we start?”

The rest of the meeting continue without much trouble, Steve and Nat where in charge of the debrief of your mission and how successfully you had eradicated Hydra nests in the areas that you went but there were different countries that you hadn’t reached, even in a year and a half there was a lot to be done yet. You had talked about how you were helping the different towns or areas that had been affected by Hydra’s activities, how the crime rates had gone down after you managed to intervene and how you had left them different programs so they could introduce to their governments.

Peter had been gazing at you as you continue to tell about your time there, he saw the gleam on your eyes when you were talking about the different ways you had helped people but when you finished your eyes locked again but you looked away from Peter with your chin high and Peter did the same. Each one refusing to look at the other when you intervened in the meeting any further. Although it didn’t work, because you could still feel your heartbeat skipping a beat and couldn’t help the tugging on the sides of your smile when he was talking about how he had defeated the Scorpion four months ago and how the crime rates in Queens had gone down because of it.

But more than that, neither of you tried to face the other.

At least until Fury was updating you on a next mission.

“After that, you would be able to pass through Moldavia, and then it would be easy to reach Kosovo. You’ll arrive in Pristina where people will be waiting for you, it’s going to be shorter than the last but they are being seriously affected by the Hydra activity”, Fury finished explaining as he was turned around from the hologram that showed the route. “The mission has been assigned to-”

“I want to go!”, you suddenly babbled, a hand up in the air with excitement while Wanda gave you a thumbs up from afar in another seat.

Fury rolled his eyes.

“We have a problem here, y/n”, Tony said, nudging one of the files that Fury had in front of him. “There have been some robberies through New York, more importantly, on the last month or so Hammer Industries and Oscorp Industries have been raided”

“Well, Peter can handle it, can’t he?”, you drawled, as you gave Peter a look with a pout on your face.

Peter wanted to be flattered, you thinking that he could handle a threat was nice but he suspected it was coming from the fact that you clearly wanted to get out of New York too and, especially, far away from him.

“I haven’t been able to catch her”, Peter muttered as he answered with a timid look.

“Her?”, you asked, a slight frown on your face as you gazed at Peter who had his shoulders slumped and tried to avoid your gaze. You still knew him; you still knew his body language and there was something that was bothering him.

“Black Cat”, Fury answered as he threw the file to your place and you opened it quickly.

The first thing your eyes focused on was a picture of her, on what you believe was Hammer thanks to the tech. It wasn’t a good photo; you could only white hair wrapped up in a tall ponytail and her black leather costume. She looked good, from what you could see, but it wasn’t much either way thanks to the quality of the camera.

“Hammer should really change its security camera provider”, you drawled as you checked the file. “What about the Oscorp security video? Doesn’t he have one of those?”

“You should know how paranoic Norman is, he didn’t want to give us any footage”, Tony explained as you continued to read whatever information was in the file, but there wasn’t much.

The one interesting thing was the number of abilities she had: extremely superhuman reflexes, agility, and the stamina of an Olympic level acrobat. She knew martial arts from what they had found from the fights that she had and was able to incapacitate her assailants without getting injured.

“Peter, don’t you have footage of her? We can scan her fighting pattern and search for weaknesses”, you suggested as you closed the file and pushed it back to Fury’s place.

But Peter remained silent.

“Peter?”, you asked and you turned around to face him, a dour look drawn on his face and you felt your eye twitching as you realized what he did.

“I…”, Peter began as he felt the glares of Fury and you.

“Please, tell me you didn’t deactivate your baby monitor program”

“I deactivated my baby monitor”, Peter answer quietly.

The way that you slapped your own face managed to make Harley jumped as all of the others looked up to you slightly alarmed. Sam’s face even twisted in a way as he mouthed a small ‘ouch’.

“How can you be so stupid!?”, you shouted at Peter, your hand still on your face and frustration bubbling on your chest.

Everyone stayed silent as their gazes traced back to Peter’s blinking expression, his eyes wide as a plate and a slight blush appearing on his cheeks from the embarrassment. Peter remembered when you lashed out, it wasn’t often and you mostly got angry at yourself when you didn’t manage to accomplish something, but not to a lot of people.

“Here we go”, Bucky muttered, as if he already knew what was about to unfold.

“I was tired of Tony reviewing all my footage, there was private stuff sometimes in there!”, Peter stammered, the high pitch in his voice making it obvious he was a bit nervous but the glare in his eyes dripped annoyance.

“What? Were you using your suit to web Gwen’s hands in bed?”, you scoffed, rolling your eyes. Tony immediately shot you an annoyed look as Harley, Sam and Bucky burst into laughs while Steve and Fury crossed their arms on their chest, as Nat, Wanda, Bruce and Vision had their mouths wide open in surprise.

“Why are you being so unbearable?”, Peter snapped but he quickly shut his mouth, not wanting to say more.

He could feel the anger bubbling up in his chest and his cheeks getting warmer and warmer with each second. Yes, he had turned off his baby monitor program because Gwen had asked him so. No, he wasn’t tying her hands in bed but he was pinning her under him while wearing the suit, it seemed like she was keen on it, but that wasn’t the point that should be brought up in an avengers meeting. He lingered for a moment, wondering if he should go off at you as he stared at you: blush cheeks, narrowed eyes but there was a gleam in your eyes and Peter remembered from your last conversation, you were still hurting.

“You two, enough”, Tony intervened sharply as he glared at your behavior.

You sighed as you slumped on your chair and Peter sat down annoyed, looking down and not wanting to face anyone of the avengers in one thousand years after what you had said.

“She’s not the point, the point is that we think she’s working for Kingpin”, Fury explained once more as Kingpin’s profile appeared on a hologram in front of you, at the center of the table.

It had been a while since you had heard his name, you knew he was dangerous and that he was no joke, especially in New York.

The last time you had heard about him, was when he had been absolved by a judge on drug charges but you knew it was because he had such a criminal organization that his pawns were the ones that had been caught, no evidence relating him directly. Plus, he was also regarded as the owner of much legitimate business and even had ties with politicians so it had become unlikely that he would get caught. Tony had offered to capture him some time ago, but Coronel Ross had decided that NYPD should be in front of that case, that the avengers shouldn’t waste their time on it.

But it seemed like they were being unsuccessful.

“Do we know why he would want whatever she’s stealing from Hammer and Osborn?”, you asked as you watched Kingpin's image on the screen. His heavyset appearance sometimes frightened you, his crystal blue eyes seemed way too dangerous and you gulped as you realized how tall he was.

“No, but you two are going to find out”, Fury answered you as he placed another set of files in front of you and another in front of Peter.

You inhale a sharp breath as it dawned on you who the two of you were. A shiver of panic ran through your spine as you realized that you had to stay in New York and also work with Peter, without any time frame of how long you would have to stay. Peter also felt his throat tighten up, he realized that he had to work with you, this new you that wouldn’t doubt in calling him out if needed.

“She doesn’t want to be here”, Peter whined as he looked at Tony.

“I don’t”, you started but were quickly cut off by Tony.

“I don’t care if you don’t want to”, Tony replied abruptly as he then turned at Peter, “Or if you don’t want to either”. Peter slumped a bit more on his chair. “You are going to work together like you used to because we said so and you can’t say no because we are your bosses. You are not seventeen anymore.”

Sometimes you forgot how severe Tony was, especially how he was with you, you could feel he was still a bit hurt that you had left for Europe without even discussing it with him first. He had simply allowed it because he understood how upset you were, but he wasn’t expecting that you would leave for such a long time, you hadn’t even met Morgan.

Peter had always been a little nervous about Tony, although he had grown from the timid sixteen-year-old he was when he met Tony, he still couldn’t avoid getting anxious when Tony got mad. He knew that Tony had some resentment over what had happened with you, you had left New York because of him and had hurt Tony in the way.

You gazed back at Peter, who was already looking at you.

“I guess we are together in this”, you muttered and Peter nodded.

You closed your eyes again, hoping that it wouldn’t be as bad as you hope it would be.

You had no idea what was coming your way.

*******

author’s note: I’m so so happy to finally be starting this new series. I’ve had it in my mind since last year when I wrote “hey hey you yeah, i don’t like your girlfriend”, literally i’ve been planning it for months and just now I found the time to write it and dedicate time to it. I’m still planning to finish Back to you but i was putting a lot of pressure on myself to write for that series and i wanted to spice it up and change it from the angsty feeling of Back to you.

I know it starts a little bit angsty but it will get much more exciting, a different y/n who has grown into herself as we saw here and whose not afraid anymore to be herself. Which is very different from y/n in Back to you. And Peter’s not that sweet as he was in Back to you, he can call out y/n too and her shit, and I LOVE that slow burn that we are going to see developing in the next chapter and also FELICIAAAAA hits different, especially for a bi like me.

This series is also inspired by my november playlist and i think this mood fitted very well with the story we are going to see.

There will be an update in exactly five days since i already finished chapter one and have started chapter two, i’m going to be updating as fast as i can. Please please please let me know what you think!! I little like or reblog literally make my day, especially general feedback!! thank you sooo much for taking the time to read it.

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hansoulo · 4 years

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thread count

Pairing: The Mandalorian/Reader (gender neutral, no Y/N)

Warnings: liek… cursing? mentions of nightmares. bed sharing. the works.

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: posting this at noon bc im tired of staring at it in my drafts 🤡also i recognize that star wars decided glass is called transparisteel but given that it’s a stupid ass decision i’ve elected to ignore it. enjoyyyyy :)

“No.”

“Mando-”

“No.”

You let out a frustrated groan, your rucksack dropping to the floor with a heavy thud as you flopped back onto the bed. The one, single bed.

“It’s too late to go anywhere else, alright? We’re basically stuck here. Let’s just make the best of it, okay?” He grunted at this, still standing at the doorway gripping his disintegrator rifle. “Drop the ‘tude, tin can. Could be worse,” you mumbled as you reached to wipe a hand over your face, sinking into the soft sheets.

It was kinda nice, actually. You couldn’t remember the last time you slept on a real mattress, with real pillows and blankets that didn’t feel like sandpaper. The inn owner was sweet, a wizened old woman who’d only smiled when you asked if there were any rooms available. Just the one, she had said. Down the hall.

This was ridiculous.

The Mandalorian stepped forward, closing the door with a large hand on the rusted knob. The room was small and sparsely furnished, but it was a far cry from your usual, less than ideal sleeping arrangements, so you relished in the feeling of the pillows beneath your back before propping yourself up on one elbow, eyelids already drooping as you watched him. He looked… awkward. If you had any more energy, you’d probably laugh. “I could- ” he cleared his throat, setting the rifle against the wall, “I could sleep on the floor.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you scoffed as you reached down to pull off your boots, throwing them haphazardly into a corner. You’d helped him with the occasional bounty for years, and known him for longer than that. You could share a fucking bed. Besides, it’s not like anyone else was around to see. Minus the baby of course, but it (he? she?) didn’t really count, right? It was already sleeping. “It’ll be fine.”

“No, I’m going to just-”

“Mando,” you glared, standing up. “If you sleep on the floor, you’re gonna be even more of an ass tomorrow morning. Just do us all a favor,” you waved a hand towards the baby in its pod, “and get over yourself, alright?” You reached down to the hem of your top, tugging it above your head before you heard him make a low, distorted sound - probably a cough, but the modulator made those kinds of things hard to tell. Left in your undershirt, you crouched down to stuff the fabric - dusty and soiled from a day of travel - back in your bag. “What?”

He shifted on his feet, his helmet ducking slightly at the sight of your exposed skin. “Oh c’mon,” you groaned, your expression teasing. “You stabbed a guy with a serving fork yesterday, Mando. I don’t think this could be any worse.” If you could see underneath his helmet, you’d be willing to bet he was blushing. Funny, how that worked. How he worked.

The bedsprings creaked underneath your weight as you laid down again, pulling the blankets out from their tucked corners. The window on the other side of the room lay open, bringing in a chill that had you drawing the covers tighter around your shoulders. “Could you close the window?” you whispered, tracking the glint of beskar through half-closed eyes as he complied with your request. His armor reflected orange light - dim and flickering from a small lamp hung beside the door - before it was snuffed out by a gloved hand. You let out a quiet thanks, not bothering to fight the exhaustion dragging at your mind as he stood above you. “I’m going to sleep,” you mumbled, turning on your side to face the wall. “Do what you want.”

⫸ ——-– ⫷

Flat, white light crackled across your vision and you opened your eyes with a groan. You could hear rain beating against the windowpane, glass rattling with every new roar of thunder in a way that had goosebumps erupting across your arms. It was dark outside, inky and fogged over save for the few flashes of lightning that cast the room in sharp relief. You didn’t really mind the storm - you usually liked them - but something about the way it sounded had you on edge. It was a bitter kind of rain, unrelenting and loud and really, really cold. Bracing yourself on your hands, you lifted your head, only to knock it against the edge of something metal. “Ow what the fu-” Oh. Oh.

He hadn’t been next to you before - no, you would’ve remembered if he had - but now... now he was. Next to you. And he… had a hand on your hip and- and you were still facing away from him but you squirmed, feeling the weight of his arm on your waist, heavy and slack. No gloves. No vambrace. No pauldron. Just… the helmet. No shit, bantha-brains. The Mandalorian let out a breath, the sound low and seeping syrup in your bones. Was he still asleep? Maybe you should- “Stop moving,” he rasped, his voice hoarse.

“Sorry,” you whispered, your words thick with sleep. “M’just cold.” It was a half-truth. You were cold, but the fact that you were pressed up against one of the most feared bounty hunters in the galaxy probably didn’t help either. Neither did the fingers digging into your hip. Or the arm tucked underneath your neck. Or the hand attached to said arm that was skimming across your collarbone, seemingly unaware that it was touching anything at all. He drew you in closer and you could feel his legs slotted into yours, your toes brushing the bare skin of an ankle (that didn’t belong to you) before your scattered thoughts were forced elsewhere.

“Then why’d you take off your shirt?” he mumbled. The rain pounded a rhythm in your head, lulling you down and allowing yourself to sink back into his arms. You didn’t really want to think about tomorrow morning. If things would be weird. There was a chance neither of you would remember this when you woke up, though, so it’s not like it mattered. Even if you did - if he did - you knew it was all business.

“Hm?” you said, tucking your chin and scooting back slightly. Your back met the hard planes of his chest, his skin hot and thrumming even underneath the thick material of his shirt. The man was like a fucking space heater. Ha. Space heater. Funny. You were funny. And tired. And- wait did he ask you something?

“Why take off your shirt if you’re cold?” he repeated. The last word trailed off as a palm moved across the expanse of your stomach, his thumb rubbing circles across the raised seam of your undershirt and burning the skin beneath.

“I wasn’t cold then,” you huffed, reaching a hand over his and guiding it below the thin fabric until it rested still on your sternum. A better version of you, more awake and with more critical thinking skills - with the power of thought in general - would probably kick you for using the Mandalorian like a fucking hot water bottle, but that didn’t really matter. You were cold - and exhausted and laying on a bed that was very, very comfortable - and he was warm. You couldn’t really be expected to take any responsibility for this. “Plus, the shirt was dirty,” you added, only dimly registering how your fingers laced with his, tracing battered, scar-shiny knuckles in your half-sleep. He hummed and leaned forward, the metal of his helmet rounding smooth against your hair.

“You’re thinking too loud,” he said, his breathing falling back into tandem with yours as you felt your eyes fluttering shut. “Go to sleep.”

⫸ ——-– ⫷

“Mando, wake up. Wake up, please.” Your voice was tremulous as you shook his shoulder, stretched over tight with desperation and knocking against the walls of the room. Your plea bounced back hollow, a high, unrelenting tone that made your ears ring. Everything was caving in on itself, crumbling slow and then all at once in a way that had the sweat on your temples icing over. You weren’t a child anymore. You shouldn’t have nightmares. “Please.”

He sat up quickly, a hand bolting out to the blaster tucked underneath his pillow and aiming steady at the enemy that had yet to show itself. “Is someone there?” he asked, graveled over but still frighteningly alert. A light sleeper, you supposed.

You shook your head, wet tracks crackling on your cheeks as you spoke. “No, no one. It’s fine.” He relaxed at this, setting the blaster down at his side. His palms were dry when they came up to your face, slightly calloused but still soft as they traced over the rolling tears.

“I’m sorry I woke you up,” you whispered, meeting the dark slit of his visor before ducking your head. “It’s nothing, I-” you sniffed, swallowing the air that was caught in your throat. “I shouldn’t have bothered you.”

“Hey,” he called out, hesitant and a bit unsure. “You okay?” You nodded, closing your eyes in an attempt to clear your vision before opening them a few moments later. The Mandalorian only stared, his helmet tilting with a cock of his head.

“Just nightmares,” you said when he remained quiet. “But they aren’t normally this bad.” The remains of a sob fragmented beneath your ribs, bubbling up in a wet cough that burned your throat. His hands came to rest at your back, flat and steady against your spine until your breathing evened. “I’m sorry,” you repeated after a few minutes.

The Mandalorian let out a quiet noise, gruff and a bit pained-sounding. “It’s okay,” he said, his fingertips pressing softly into your shoulder blades. You could only just hear him through the storm outside. “I get them too.”

You faced the beskar, gaze searching for the eyes you knew were looking at you and finding nothing but darkness. It was enough, though. To know he was looking. “You do?”

“Every night.” A beat passed before you hiccuped again, swiping at your eyes with the back of your hand. “It’s still late,” the Mandalorian whispered, his hands gentle as they reached around your shoulders. You let him pull the covers over you, feeling his words soak into your back. “Let’s just go to bed.”

permanent: @ah-callie @itzagoodthing @spookypym @opheliaelysia @watsonwise @damndamer0n @amarvelousmandalorian @bunnyart-blog @agirllovespasta @pascalispedro @pascalplease @coffeencontemplation @chelsfic @lesqui @javierpenaspinkshirt @symbiont13 @glowingpena @squidlywiddly87 @1zashreena1 @hiscyarika @lostingoogletranslate @keeper0fthestars @bobafvtt @halfwaythereroyal @starwarsiscooliguess @huliabitch

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction #sw fanfiction #the mandalorian oneshot #din djarin oneshot

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pheedraws · 3 years

Text

Life Day

Pairing: (The tentative beginnings of) Din Djarin x Nova Reed (OC)

Word Count: 1.9K

Warnings: None, just pure festive cheese...

A/N: So, uh... I don’t think I’ve finished a fic, let alone posted one anywhere, since 2014. I’m a lil rusty. But, I recently discovered I’ve been bitten by the Mando-writing bug and I physically cannot stop, so... for better or worse, here goes.

Takes place within the gap between Chapter 8 “Redemption” and Chapter 9 “The Marshal”.

(I know Life Day is technically in November, but c’mon. It’s still festive.)

"What... is this?"

The Mandalorian studied the small box before him. It looked innocent enough; brightly wrapped, perched delicately on his seat in the Razor Crest's cockpit. There was no real reason for him to suspect the innocuous thing, yet he found himself puzzled by it all the same.

How did it get there?

The bounty hunter wracked his brain for an answer. It wasn't his name-day; in fact, he couldn't recall ever telling anyone his name-day...

So what was it?

"It's Life Day," his companion answered nonchalantly, not looking up from the blaster she was cleaning. "It's a gift."

"Life Day?"

"Yeah." She looked up from her work then, smiling warmly at the bounty hunter. "You know... Wookie festival, day of celebration..."

"I know what it is." His brows furrowed beneath the helmet. "I just... hadn't realised it was today."

Nova laughed, sweeping the loose screws on the table back into her toolkit, cursing under her breath when one bounced onto the floor and rolled out of sight. "I hadn't either- not until we visited the bazaar yesterday. We've been so busy lately; I lost all track of the date..."

The Mandalorian hummed in agreement. They hadn't stayed in one place for more than two days since... well, he couldn't recall. Their quest to find other Mandalorians, to return the kid to his own kind, had taken them to the far reaches of the galaxy, trawling through the Outer Rim in search of answers. It was merely a coincidence that Life Day had fallen on the one quiet day they'd had to simply breathe since the showdown on Nevarro.

Din picked the gift up off the seat, cradling it somewhat awkwardly in his palms. "You didn't have to do this for me."

"I wanted to. It's... a tradition, of sorts." Nova sighed, drumming her fingers on the table in a pattern he'd become familiar with during their travels together. At the curious tilt of the Mandalorian's helmet, she continued. "My mother... When she was on Coruscant, in the Jedi Temple? The celebrations were huge." She smiled, closing her eyes at the memory. "She'd tell me all about them, even show me- painting pictures with her words and the Force, always telling me she'd take me to see the real thing one day..."

His companion trailed off, her tone becoming somewhat bittersweet.

"We never got to go there, in the end. But... I always celebrated it, even when I was on Tatooine. It... kept her memory alive, I suppose. No matter where I was in the galaxy or who I was with, I'd get those special to me a little something to commemorate the day. "

Those special to me. Din noted the faint blush on her cheeks, grey eyes widening slightly at the realisation of what she had said. He smiled softly at the sight; thankful the helmet hid his own expression from view.

Stepping away from the console, the Mandalorian slowly made his way over to the table his companion sat at, taking the seat opposite her.

"I got the kid something too, of course." The pair glanced over to the corner of the ship where the child sat playing with a distinctly bantha-shaped plush toy, chirping happily to himself.

Din smiled at scene before him. "He seems quite taken with it already."

He paused for a moment, studying the gift in his hands once more; turning the small box this way and that, admiring the red paper and the way it almost glistened in the light of the setting sun streaming in through the windows of the Crest.

The silence that fell over the cockpit was not an awkward one, and yet... Din felt compelled to fill it, to give her something in return for all the patience and compassion she had shown him since fate threw them together.

And so, Din gave her a glimpse of the only thing he had to give, the only thing that was ever truly his and his alone; his past.

"In the Tribe, we didn't... I never... I haven't celebrated Life Day since I was a child, before I became a foundling."

Her eyes widened at his words, and he couldn't fault her reaction. The bounty hunter had always been... guarded around her, around everyone; never revealing more than he absolutely had to at any given time. He'd never spoken about his past to anyone before, not even the Tribe.

This is the way. The only way he'd ever known.

And yet... opening himself to others, having his soul be seen though his face was hidden... it didn't feel like such a betrayal anymore, not now.

Not with her.

"My parents..." Din paused at the memory, eyes sliding shut. He had found himself thinking about them... of their sacrifice more and more as of late, ever since taking the child under his wing. I suppose it's only natural, given the circumstances... "They would always do something to celebrate. It was just the three of us- we didn't have anyone else, but... it always felt... special."

He thought back to the days on his home planet, the warmth of his family. Din had long since buried his old self; he was a Mandalorian now, the creed was all he knew... but the memories remained, tucked away safely in the recesses of his mind, sheltered from the corrupting touch of time.

For years, Din hadn't given more than a passing thought to his old life. He remembered... that day in vivid detail, could recall the events that led up to his initiation as a foundling almost perfectly even years later, but everything else... It was as if it had simply slipped from the forefront of his mind, his subconscious shutting it out lest he lose sight of his new life. His new creed.

Nevarro changed all of that.

Piece by piece, his carefully shrouded identity had been pulled out from beneath him, bleeding out on the floor of that cantina. He had seen his parents in the events transpiring around him, their fate mirroring his own... until it hadn't. It hadn't been his time, but the ghosts stayed with him.

He wondered if they always would.

Gloved fingers finally pulled at the paper, taking care not to damage the delicate box beneath it.

When the Mandalorian caught sight of the gift's contents, he froze.

It... it can't be...

They had been exploring the local markets when he'd seen them; their sweet smell drawing his attention to a stall on the outskirts of the bazaar. He'd thought it simply a trick of his mind at first, his ordeal on Nevarro making him... sentimental, seeing things that weren't there; simply echoes of the times that had flashed before his eyes as he lay injured in the cantina, forever taunting him though the danger had now passed.

But as he neared the stand, feet carrying him in its direction before he could even truly think about the decision, he had found it to be no mere trick of the mind.

There, sat snugly in neat rows on the stall before him, bright colours dancing in the midday sun, were the sweets he'd grown to love as a child; the same sweets his family had indulged in each Life Day.

They'd had to leave the markets soon after his discovery, the Mandalorian pulling himself out of his... uncharacteristic slip long enough to urge his companions back to the Razor Crest, lest they stay in one place too long and draw any unwanted attention.

The job always comes first.

The sweets had been mostly forgotten about soon after, the unlikely clan shifting seamlessly back into their normal routines, thoughts solely on the journey ahead of them...

Until now.

"Where did you get these?" How did she know?

"I saw you in the markets. You were... fixated on those sweets. I felt bad that we had to get back to the ship before you had a chance get some, so..." She smiled softly, gesturing to the box before him with a nod of her head. "I made a detour."

He couldn't take his eyes off the sweets; their colours, their smell... It all seemed so much more real here than they had done in the markets. He could touch them, see the powdered sugar left behind on his gloves, mind filling with memories of his father laughing at a younger Din for spilling the fine powder all over his robes in his enthusiasm to sample the sweet treats.

The sudden bittersweet rush of nostalgia knocked Din off-kilter.

"I-" He paused, a knot forming in his throat at the sight of the sweets sat perfectly in their box. "Thank you."

Maker, he hoped she couldn't hear the waver in his voice.

"I hope I picked out the right ones..." Nova continued, concerned slightly by the silent demeanour of the Mandalorian. Din had always been quiet, but this was... different. "I was careful when I went back to the markets, I know you don't like-"

Din reached over the table to gently grasp his companion's hand, effectively halting her rambled worries.

"They're... perfect." His voice was tight with an emotion he wasn't sure he wanted to share with the woman, an emotion he wasn't entirely sure of himself, so he hoped and prayed the squeeze of his hand around hers spoke the words he couldn't. Not yet. "Thank you."

Nova smiled, shoulders visibly relaxing at the reassurance. "You're welcome."

Seemingly drawn in by the sweet scents, small hands tugged at the straps of Nova's boots, the woman leaning over in her seat to bring the inquisitive child up onto her lap. "Hey there, little one."

Though the child's ears fluttered in recognition of her voice, his eyes were focused solely on the sweets on the table, mesmerised by the sight before him. Din couldn't hold back his laugh at the intense look of concentration on the child's little features, knowing all too well the internal debate the youngling was having with himself.

"Here you go, kid." The Mandalorian held out the box in front of the child, watching as his black eyes widened in fascination. "Why don't you give one a try?"

The child cooed happily then, reaching for the small blue sweet in the centre of the box. The treat didn't last long; swiftly disappearing before it even had a chance to be truly savoured. Din chuckled, knowing he had done the same on more than one occasion in his youth, each time earning an exasperated look from his mother.

So alike... yet so different, too.

This time, when Din thought of his family once more... he didn't feel that same sadness, or loss, or regret. He felt only warmth. The shadows of his past, those tendrils of pain and loss and bad memories that had been swirling within his heart since that fateful day on Nevarro, had finally started to settle.

Here, on board this ship with this unlikely clan of three... this aliit... Din felt at ease for the first time in a long while.

The path ahead of them would be treacherous and hard; that much was certain. He didn't know what tomorrow would bring, nor where their path would lead them next. All Din knew was that no matter where their journey took them, they would have this.

And that would always be enough.

"Happy Life Day, Nova."

Din was not a poetic man, nor had he ever claimed to be. But the smile that lit up her face at his words... He could have sworn it shone brighter than any star he'd seen.

"Happy Life Day, Din."

#this... was not meant to be the first fic posted on here #but I had this idea at approximately 11:55 last night and had to drop everything for it #chronology is for people who think ahead #I am not one of those people #The Mandalorian #Star Wars #Din Djarin #Din Djarin x OC #oc: nova reed #x: you feel like home #my writing

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kitsutaes · 4 years

Text

pluto protector

pairing: taehyung x reader

genre: fluff, coming of age-ish, bffs2lovers!, astrophysicist!reader, & artist!taehyung

word count: 2.6k

rating: pg-13 i guess

warnings: none

a/n: this is inspired by rex orange county’s song pluto projector, a song i love so so much. also this fic is split up into small parts & it focuses more on tae’s and reader’s small but important moments together !! i hope you like it even though it isn’t too heavily edited. p.s. thank you teresa / @sketchguk for looking this over !! you da best !!

summary: you and taehyung have been in the same galaxy, orbiting one another for as long as you could remember. but as time passes, gravity pulls you in closer and closer, ready for the two of you to collide.

Kim Taehyung was your protector. Just at the age of nine, Kim Taehyung held your hand as the two of you ran around the playground, feet hitting the wood chips that spewed around. His disheveled chocolate brown hair bounced around as he ran, eyes bright as he turned around to look at you. He had a goofy smile plastered on his face, exuberant as any nine year old at the park with his best friend should be.

“___! Let’s go on the swirly slide!” Taehyung yells, pointing at the bright red slide ahead. The playground near your neighborhood was huge since it was already part of an already massive park. While the park had its own variety of plants and wildlife, the playground consisted of slides, swings, monkey bars, and corkscrew climbers that allowed you to climb up and slide down like you were going down a fireman’s pole; only round and round instead of sliding straight down.

“Okay, but only if we go on the monkey bars next Tae!” You respond, swinging your arm that held his hand. Your eyes matched his, bright and bubbly. Taehyung nodded as the two of you climbed the blue steps that led to the big red swirly slide.

“You first or me?” Taehyung asks, letting go of you hand to grasp the yellow metal bars on the sides of the red slide. You roll your eyes, seeing his mischievous grin, basically telling you he was he was ready to go first.

“You.”

Sticking out your tongue at him, Taehyung takes off, gravity pulling him down until his sneakers hit the ground. He turns around, motioning for you to slide down.

“C’mon ___!” Taehyung calls from below. His arms are crossed as he waits for you to come down. You nod, your own hands gripping the metal bars Taehyung previously held onto as you’re seated on the bright red plastic. Letting go, you slide down, feeling parts of your hair stick up to the underside of the slide.

Taehyung’s eyes widen as he knows what’s coming next. You’re up and off of the slide, ready to chase him and zap him with your finger charged with static.

“___! Come and get me!” Taehyung giggles running off to the opposite side of the playground to avoid getting shocked. You’re right behind him, but you trip on your own foot, falling onto the wood chips.

Instead of a smile, you’ve got a pout on your face. Eyes turning red, brimming with tears, ready to cry. Taehyung’s looking back at you with a worried expression, heels turning around as he’s running back towards you.

“Tae!” You cry as his arms are helping you up, feet standing upright once again. His hands are gripping onto yours, leading you back to where your parents were.

“It’s okay ___, I’ve got you.”

At the age of twelve, Kim Taehyung was still your protector. Although you ended up with different teachers and classes, the two of you didn’t drift apart like most friends did as they entered middle school. Most kids ended up finding new friends, groups, cliques–forgetting and leaving the friendships they made when they were just a few years younger. But, you and Taehyung weren’t like most kids. The two of you stayed together in gravity’s grasp, never leaving the solar system you shared.

Just like always, after school, Taehyung came over to do homework with you since you shared the same subjects. His green backpack would be plopped onto your carpeted floor right beside yours, colored pencils and papers almost spilling out of them.

“You had to read The Monkey’s Paw too?” You ask turning around in your seat, nose scrunching at the thought of the story Mrs. Tang read to your class today that gave you the chills. It was a story written by W.W. Jacobs that just had to be a part of your English class’s “Poetry and Short Stories” unit and you couldn’t wait for it to be over.

Taehyung was seated on your bed while you were seated at your desk. Taehyung looks up from his math homework, nodding at you.

“Yeah, I kinda liked it.” He says, giving you a small shrug as you shudder.

“It was creepy!”

Taehyung laughs at your expression, your face showing that you were totally repulsed that he slightly enjoyed the supernatural short story that was required to be read in every 7th grade class.

“Just a little bit,” he responds as he looks down at his homework, “I bet you’re enjoying science right now though.”

Taehyung was 100% correct, you were loving science this week. This week’s unit was about space and that was something you held close to your heart. There was just something about the universe, galaxies, protostars, and planets that intrigued you to no limit. You wanted to be like Neil deGrasse Tyson and Carl Sagan, exploring the vast universe full of the unknown. Just last year it was announced that Pluto would no longer be considered a planet and just that, broke your heart to pieces; Taehyung was there to witness it. Your love for the little planet was undying, feeling as if it deserved much more appreciation just like Neptune and Jupiter. In your eyes, Pluto was something special.

“Yes, oh my gosh! We get to make a presentation of a planet of our choice, and I’m still picking Pluto. I don’t care what Mr. Peterson says.” You scoff, a determined look gracing your face as you turn back around in your seat.

In that very moment, in Taehyung’s eyes, you were something special.

Graduation had finally fallen upon you. After days of graduation practice, you were finally here; sitting in the risers, that was placed on the fifty-yard line of the football field, clothed in your graduation gown that possessed one of your school’s colors. The night had overtaken the sunny skies, leaving you and your fellow classmates and friends underneath the shining stars as well as the bright stadium lights your school used for all sorts of events.

Your parents were in the stands, most likely with Taehyung’s family, along with other parents and family members of graduating high school seniors with their phones and cameras taking pictures to capture this once in a lifetime moment.

You didn’t graduate a valedictorian or salutatorian, but at least you made it until the end. It may pain some to hear it but grades aren’t everything. Despite getting kids into higher level colleges, grades don’t and can’t define a person, you learned that the hard way. High school’s about learning about yourself and the people you surround yourself with. Are they real friends? Do they talk about you behind your back? To you, it’s about exploration, finding the people who fit you well and help you shine brighter like the stars, and hopefully avoiding space debris that just get in the way.

Taehyung’s seated a few rows above you with only a few people separating the two of you, meaning you’re still able to make faces at each other, winking and scrunching your noses while the ceremony proceeds.

He looks great, handsome even. Dark locks trimmed just for this special event, since his mom made him. His bright eyes are shining even brighter with the reflection of the stadium lights as you peer up to look at him.

Seeing him like this, you realize how grown up he looks. Despite only being eighteen, the Kim Taehyung sitting a few seats away from you definitely does not look like the Kim Taehyung you met in 3rd grade. That Taehyung you met years ago is still somewhat the same as the Taehyung now, but just older, more mature–not mature, but more. It makes you realize how time flies, because it literally just seemed like yesterday where Taehyung first moved in a couple houses down from yours. Your neighborhood was full of elderly people, so when you found out a kid your age had just moved into town, you were ecstatic. Ecstatic to the point where you bugged your mother to take you to meet your new neighbors.

You smile to yourself as you look away, eyes reaching the stars that you were always fond of.

This was a moment you hoped you would remember forever.

“I felt like gouging my eyes out.”

Taehyung’s eyes roll at your complaint. You just came out of your physics class with Mr. Garcia’s lecture picking at your brains during the entire hour and a half. You and Jungkook (the only person you knew in that class) walked out looking as if your souls had left your body; even though that was exactly what happened. The two of you part ways with a tired wave as he had another class to attend.

Taehyung had been waiting for you since his class finished a few minutes before yours. He was nose deep into a book when you find him sitting on a bench just outside your building. His bright blue hair made him easy to spot anywhere. He made you dye his hair before the semester started, insisting on trying a brand new look.

Before the two of you graduated high school, you’d done college applications. You’d gotten into one of your dream colleges, opening the acceptance letter in front of Taehyung and your parents. Taehyung on the other hand, didn’t tell you what college he got into until after the graduation ceremony. It led to you punching his arm while exuding tears of happiness. Now, at the age of 21, you’re spending your time attending classes, studying for exams, while downing cups of coffee during breaks with your best friend.

“Seriously ___, your fault for wanting to be an astrophysics major.” Taehyung scoffs, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as the two of you head off to one of the coffee shops you and Taehyung frequent the most. Fortunately it was close, just a couple blocks away.

Smacking his arm away, you frown. “You say that every single time.”

“I’m just stating facts.” Taehyung shrugs, wrapping an arm around you again, and this time you don’t fight it.

Your own arm wraps around his waist, gripping onto a part of his coat. Taehyung, even though you didn’t want to admit it to anyone else but yourself, made you feel safe. Whenever he’d scoop you up into his arms for a hug, or just had his arm around you as you two walked down the street, it made you feel loved. Knowing that someone cares in this world full of fortunate and unfortunate events, is one of the greatest feelings in this world.

“I wish I was still in astrology 101 or 102, learning about the stars, black holes, and the Milky Way,” You say, grinning cheekily at the man beside you. “—not the chocolate.”

“I literally wasn’t even going to say that.”

“Liar.” You snort, nudging his side with your elbow. The two of you have reached your destination, ready for caffeine that you’re desperate for. Taehyung’s arm has left your shoulder, a certain warmth departing with him, as he opens the door for you like the gentleman he’s always been.

“What do you want?” He asks as you both reach the cashier and glass display case showing an ever so wonderful variety of pastries to eat with an already amazing cup of coffee.

Peering through the glass you see some newly added goods, alongside the usual but you already have your order in mind.

“I’ll have a macchiato and some madeleines please,” You say to the woman manning the cashier with a soft smile, while taking out your wallet from the small pocket of your backpack. Taehyung’s hand stops you, handing his own credit card to the lady who grins cheekily at the two of you. She was around maybe thirty years old.

“Tae—”

“And I’ll have a hot chocolate please.” Taehyung’s lips are pursed, nodding his head as she repeats your order.

“You guys are a really cute couple by the way,” She smiles, handing Taehyung back his card along with the receipt while you’re left standing there staring at him with wide eyes as he thanks her for the compliment.

At the age of 24, you’d think you would have plenty of things figured out. You don’t.

But at this age, you’ve learned that things really aren’t constant in the world, and that everything’s prone to change. Although somehow, there’s one thing in your life that hasn’t really changed.

“Tae, where are we going?” You whine, head leaning on the car window. Taehyung had just picked you up from work, a long day of work, and all you wanted to do was go home.

You and Taehyung had been dating for awhile now, after he admitted his long time feelings for you when he took you to his studio and painted you your favorite planet in the Milky Way. His feelings for you were returned, having loved him ever since you were kids as well. Now, he spends most of his time at your apartment as if you two shared it; not like he didn’t do that before already.

“___, you’ve asked me that 5 times already and I told you that it’s a secret.” He says, turning his head towards you for a moment before looking back on the road. You don’t see it, but he’s sporting a small smile on his face. Taehyung’s been waiting to show you this secret of his for quite some time.

Your head isn’t leaning on the window anymore as you recognize where you’re headed to. “Wait, we’re going to your studio?” The road to Taehyung’s art studio is one that isn’t too familiar but isn’t unknown as well.

After a few more minutes of driving and parallel parking (which actually doesn’t take Taehyung long to do it) you’re already standing in his studio, gazing at his works of art.

“Tae, these are incredible.”

While you’re gaping at his paintings, Taehyung’s laughing at your reaction to his creations. This is the first time in a long time you’ve visited his studio, and the first time in a long time that he’s shared his pieces with you. While you’re studying about outer space and the secrets of the universe, Taehyung’s in his studio painting his heart out whenever he wasn’t busy.

Whenever he was in the mood to paint, he’d enter this zone, totally blocking out anything and everything, letting his passion for the arts take over. Sometimes when he’d pick you up to have a cup of coffee or when he’d come over to have dinner at your apartment, he’d have paint marks all over his hands and occasionally his face.

Like you with your science idols, Taehyung admired plenty of incredible artists who worked with various mediums like, Claude Monet, Keith Haring, and especially Vincent Van Gogh. Taehyung had this affinity for Van Gogh’s artworks that even he couldn’t fully explain why he loved them so much.

“Wait until you see this,” Taehyung says, reaching towards one of the canvases he had stacked and leaning on the side of his wall.

You’re so immersed into some of his other paintings you don’t realize he’s right beside you, ready to reveal one of his latest pieces. Taehyung loved to experiment with different mediums, always trying to find his niche. You noticed even though he painted a variety of things, he loved to paint scenery. You could feel yourself getting absorbed into his creations full of lush greens and calming sunsets, fluffy clouds, and sometimes quite the opposite.

“___,” Taehyung nudges you, poking your cheek to get your attention and it definitely works. You’re turning your head, eyes catching a painting of Pluto that looks exactly like the real deal, as if you’re seeing the planet with your own eyes.

“I love you ___. As much as you love this little planet and as many light years it would take to reach other universes out there.”

#bangtanhq #bangtanscenery #thekimlinenet #vantaenet #btsbookclub #btswriterscollective #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung fluff #bts fluff #bts fic #bts scenarios #bts

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electricfied-wolf · 3 years

Text

Space Dad

Even among all the oddities and magic, no one stuck out more than DJ Subatomic Supernova.

His orb head/helmet was constantly changing constellations and galactic images-and he has uttered both glee and annoyance when seemingly new images show up or an “old” one is altered due to the merging.

his strange bending arms showed no real “joints” but continuously flexed and bend like a rubber hose.

But he was the groups strange oddity and an interesting teacher- formerly in equestria the only one who knew this much about space was luna- as her magic and very being was tied to it- astrologists was still a profession, but no one had a greater knowledge of it then her before the merges happened, and DJ knew things luna didn’t know, of the pretty space ash clouds being cradles for a new stars formation and such. He’s still a DJ most nights, but has picked up teaching again as astrology professor- allowing almost anyone in as long as they were willing to learn and didn’t Voice or act on ANY form of racism in his classroom- those that did found them suddenly outside and barred from returning to the classroom or the Observatory.

they day they saw the a glimpse of his true powers however, would remain in their minds for a long long time.

Kliff had escaped from custody and retrieved followers from some of the other merged in worlds, and while his anger towards bunk bed junktion and tatiana remained, he elected to go after a different…. smaller target. Little kosma was a very powerful toddler, and could be a very powerful and devastating weapon if raised a certain way, a way neither Nova or Neon wanted, but Kliff? Kliff in all his power mad self? Kliff saw the potential, and the glaring missed opportunity he had with mayday staring at him

Had he kept up with Nick, he could have raised mayday on his side of the story, and have her loyal to only him, Rock would be the only music in Vinyl City once again, and Ful Kyra wouldn’t be stifulled by the role she’s playing.

but he lost that chance, but taking Kosma (and he would only need to alter her name slightly to be more Rock like!!!) he would have a powerful weapon and tool, along with power over several artists close to Mayday and Zuke.

He’s not letting another chance Slip away.

The day of kliff’s attempted abduction of kosma was technically a meeting of the full counsel. However it fell on Flurry Heart and Kosma’s shared birthday so they elected to just have a party with everyone’s family there outside in the gardens, a chance to relax and experience a fun event without worrying over what rouge creature combination was attacking who and all the crisis of worlds coming together on small scales.

then the attack hit, greater numbers mean nothing if you haven’t fought together before - with even the diamonds in small mode (look human babies are cute, Pony babies are cute, they wanted to coo over the baby photo’s properly and to do that you need to be the same size as everyone else)- it fell into chaos quickly.

Song had been holding onto Kosma- while no longer a mute, she could tap into the strength a bit and had been kicking away and jumping away from those that where getting too close…. and there was a lot of the attackers aiming for her. Or rather, who she was holding.

but one got a lucky hit in and she’s down and kosma is Gone. Kliff takes a moment to gloat from a nearby balcony, and a moment is all Nova needs when he sees is little Galaxy crying from the red haired man’s arms.

The first thing to go is the light, despite everyone seeing and feeling the sun high in the sky, its dark, then gravity starts getting wonky and they see DJ grow and stretch and stretch and stretch until he’s around the size - or maybe even Taller!- than white diamonds normal form

The Orb is cracking and with it a new effect on the gravity is placed, DJ’s allies and gently floated away to a safer area while various kliff goons are crushed into the ground or rapidly rising up into the air to pulmit down.

the ground turns into replica planets that start to bash around the area trapping kliff from escape.

the roaring everyone was hearing was in fact DJ’s enraged shouting as he folds over and Down to face kliff whose also frozen in horror - the cracks on the Orb-head seem to form an empty void of a snarl.

Kosma is one of the few not effected by his appearance happily reaching out with shrieks of “papa!” and patting the dome.

In seemingly an instant DJ was back to normal, snatching his daughter out of Kliff’s arms and cradling her close. Neon running to them as soon as Dj’s powers finally let them move form the area he put them in, collapsing beside his husband and their daughter, their family forming around them as well.

Kliff Got away again as everyone reorientated themselves as gravity was restored to normal and the others got over the shock of the glimpse of DJ’s monstrous form.

In a later meeting all tatiana does is smile and sigh, “the more music you make and consume in our world, the more it powers your personal mutations, DJ Subatomic Supernova was born like how he normally is in front of all of you, he rarely if ever truly cuts lose with his powers are they warp and twist space to his will, the only exception he’s ever held to that is children being harmed. doubly so if its his own. however there is a cost to this, its likely he’ll be on bedrest for the next week or two for how he used his power yesterday.”

(I’m not really happy with the ending but here you go!) _____________ Kosma and Flurry sharing a birthday is such a big-brain moment and I love that idea.

#megacrossover #Kingdom Of Unity #steven universe #mlp #mlp fim #nsr #no straight roads #Kataow #submission

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panickinganakin · 4 years

Text

seven vs two

A/N: Here is chapter two! This is just reader learning more about the force and about what she’ll be doing. You can read chapter one here I think we are gonna call this fic Restoring Balance. I’ve also decided to upload to Wattpad. Yikes. Star Wars is taking over my life. Blah blah, I know I’ll shut up now.

warnings: Nothing extreme, just a bit of harsh language, reader passes out as well. angst and anger. internal violence nothing absolutely awful.

word count: 1692

chapter one

Your eyes fluttered opened, anxiety spiking when the white walls surrounding you replaced your blurry vision. You gripped the black sheets you were laying on, remembering where you were and what was happening.

The previous night was your first with Kylo. He taught the basic idea of the force; what it does, what it is and how to control the first steps. “Training will not be easy, it will be stressful and there will be many sleepless nights,” he told you the night before.

You rubbed your eyes, raising up. Kylo had been kind enough to prepare your own bed in a room close to his, still not trusting you, you deducted.

Your life was more than confusing now. Normally, at this time you would be sweeping living quarters and fluffing pillows. Now, you were on your way to becoming a Sith, as Kylo titled it.

“Change, and come to the outer room. We have even more to do today than yesterday.” His voice boomed, how did he know you were awake already?

“Yes, Commander,” you called not skipping a beat to his orders. After much consideration you thought have a semi-powerful position would be better than scrubbing a shitter.

When you made your way into the open area where you had spent many hours the previous night, he was already sitting in the floor, his legs crossed. It was strange, seeing the commander without his mask, but it was nice, you thought. Regretting it immediately, it was hard to remember the commander could read your thoughts.

“Master Ren,” he corrected. Shit, he did read your thoughts.

“W-what?” Your voice held the confusion that clouded your brain.

“You will call me Master Ren, because I’m training you in the force. Others call me commander.”

You nodded, sitting down in front of the man. All of it still felt like a fever dream. You found him to be a lot nicer than you remembered. Maybe it was because you could be an asset, not because he was nice.

“Don’t think me nice? I’m not. I’m a murderer. And you will be too. Now, shut your mind down or you won’t learn anything. We have to show Snoke that you have potential. I’m giving you an opportunity to advance above your station, if you prove me foolish I— will— terminate you.” His voice seemed confident and steady, you decided then that maybe he wasn’t nice.

Shut up, you told yourself.

“Now, to continue where we left off previously... You will feel pulls, the dark, the light, the balance.. Jedis only care about the light. They feel nothing, no love, anger, any emotions. They train you to be droids basically. The rebellion is childish and the resistance will be ended. You agree, Y/N?” His face was like stone, no emotion whatsoever was being given off.

“Of course, it’s all I’ve ever been taught.” You answered honestly. From a young age you’ve always had ‘Rebel Scum’ drilled into your skull.

“No, it’s not about what you learn. I learned to be a Jedi, I decided to do what was right- to leave. You will be faced with choices, your instinct will be to go with your heart. Always feel the anger within you.”

“Comman— Sorry, Master Ren, I don’t feel any anger.” You felt truthful saying this, you had nothing to be angry for. Your life was just that- the way it was.

“Don’t lie to me,” his jaw was clenched and he was becoming angry himself. “The First Order kidnapped you when you were a youngling, they killed your mother right before your eyes. You were placed on a ship, given absolutely no option to leave! You fold sheets for fucks sake and you aren’t angry? You’re foolish if you think you can sit here and lie to me!” He was up now, pacing around you.

You felt a wave emotions engulf you. You were angry, you had just suppressed it for so many years. You were also scared. Scared of the red blade that was crackling beside you as Kylo stabbed it into the ground.

You were on your feet, scrambling for the door. The control panel wasn’t showing any sign of life as you clawed at it. No one in and no one out his voice from yesterday’s altercation in the medic room pounced in your head. It was useless, you couldn’t get out and no one was coming to help you.

You turned around, fists clenched, “Don’t treat me like that!” You weren’t sure what had come over you, a hand flew to your mouth the moment you said it, instant regret.

“Then stop acting like everything you’ve had to live through doesn’t rage you to your deepest core!” He was shouting, why was he doing this? He was making you angry! It hit you, this was the point, he was pulling the rage out of you.

You would label yourself a calm person, normally, but as you stood here with this man screaming at you, your blood began to boil. You closed your eyes, seeing your mother’s soft blonde hair and blue eyes. You seen your life in the sand, when it was good, before they ruined it.

Your fists were tightened, the table in the center was shaking, you could hear it. “Yes! Focus!”

You were scared to open your eyes, but you wanted to see what happened. You looked over, the table was floating in the air, after a few seconds it dropped. Not long after you felt body tighten as if it were a rubber band being wound, then as if someone let the band go, you fell to the ground.

You felt as if you were floating, no, you were floating. The stars were surrounding you, images of passing TIE fighters and various other spacecrafts. As you laid there, floating in the galaxy, you seen a man. He had long wavy hair, it was a blond dishwater color. A scar trailing down his face. “Fight back, don’t give in!” He shouted.

You gasped, raising up quickly. Kylo’s hand pushing your head back down to his leg. He had you propped up on his thigh, holding a towel to your head. “That will get easier, controlling it. You won’t pass out anymore.”

You shoved his arm away you and scuttled to the side, “Why did you do that?” You pulled you legs to your chest, fearing the sob that was threatening your throat. “Why would say those things? What did I do?”

“I told you, you have to feel your anger. You lied and said you felt nothing, I simply aided you. This isn’t a pity party, it’s the First Order. Get up, and try again.” Kylo ordered.

You looked up at him, his mouth was twitching, he looked irritated. You felt bad for shoving him away, he was after all, being kind of enough to soothe her. “I-I’m Sorry, thank you- for helping.”

“Stop. Get up, the last emotion you should be reaching for is peace. You won’t find companionship here,” he was on his feet, straightening up the table.

He left the room, coming back immediately holding stones. He placed them evenly on the table, “Try again, up.” He ordered once more.

You stood, rubbing your forearm. “Yes, Master Ren.”

Many hours passed by with you floating rocks and tables, Kylo yelling and you passing out once more. Your body felt drained, you had never been this tired before. You were changing into a dress robe for sleeping that was placed here the night before. “Dinner,” Kylo said entering the room.

You jumped back, clutching your chest. “Don’t sneak up on me.”

A grin crept on Kylo’s face but left as quickly as it came. “Join me? In the main quarters?”

You nodded and watched as he left. You finished pulling on the dress and sighed. 48 hours ago you were in the cafeteria, eating with other maids and now— Kylo Ren had requested you for dinner. Things were, very odd.

“Eat,” he ordered pointing at one of the plates on the table. The meals looked fine enough, regular cafeteria food. Rolls, meats and veggies.

“Yes, Master Ren,” you sat in front of the table, reaching for the utensils.

“What are you feeling?” He asked, stuffing food into his mouth.

“Can’t you read my thoughts?” You laughed lightly then looked down, deciding he was more than likely not the joking type. “I feel- uh- weird? It still feels like most of this is fake. I passed out in a medic room, woke up in our Commanders personal quarts and now I’m moving rocks with my mind. Not to mention in two days I leave to meet the Supreme Leader, me, a First Order shit bowl scrubber.”

He chuckled, a real laugh this time, “I thought you folded bed sheets?”

You suddenly felt at ease, as if maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. “Don’t you know, Master Ren? I’m a master myself, of many things. I can fold sheets, dress pillows, sweep the floors, scrub the toilets and, I even clean the showers. What do you do again? Fly ships and weild a light saber? Looks like I have five skills compared to your two? Oh, six if I count the floating rocks.” You laughed taking a sip of the water at the table.

“Seven if you count passing out,” he added, his expression flat again.

You coughed awkwardly, feeling as if you pushed your limits to soon. “Forgive me, Master Ren.”

“You’re funny, that’s eight, I won’t allow you to have more skills than that, your training ends now. You’re dismissed.” You looked at his stone face in terror, was he serious? The thoughts of sweeping living quarters again made you feel sick. “Nine, you lack the ability to see a lie- a joke.” He grinned again.

“Touché. But, I think that technically revokes my eighth skill of being funny.”

He tilted his head, pondering your words. “Seven skills it is.”

The rest of the meal was silent, but not the uncomfortable silence that had been there before. You stood up, taking your plate to a trash bin. “Goodnight, Master Ren,” you called turning for your new bed.

He nodded you away but stopped you before you reached the door, “Master Ren is a lot to say, we need to save on time. Just call me Kylo, unless we are in front of Snoke,” he added at the end.

You nodded, suppressing a smile, finally leaving the room.

You found sleep quickly, dreaming of the blonde man who approached you when you lost consciousness. “Fight back, don’t give in!”

chapter three

#kylo ren #kylo #kylo x reader #kylo fanfic #Star Wars au #kylo au #star wars #Star Wars fic #writing

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reylo-trash-4ever · 4 years

Text

HELLO REYLO FAM!!!

Wow... I am incredibly nervous about posting this because I haven’t shared my writing in years, but the incredible @lana-n95 gave me the idea when I made my prompts post, and I just rolled with it and made it an entire fic. SO HERE YA GO!

Shout out to @scav-eng-er for being my Reylo Soul Mate and literally giving me the courage to do this!! I couldn’t ask for a better support group in @mojona1999 and @firethebluesky as well! You lovely people are who keep me going and I promise I’m working on getting us all a group chat so we can be friends for life.

This will be updated fairly regularly, but please do not expect a lot yet. I’m working towards bi-weekly, but for right now, this is all I have. I hope you enjoy! EEK!!

“The Game” - a Reylo AU

Universe: AU/Modern day New York

Rating: M (this chapter only has some mild language and sexual themes)

Word Count: 3629

Pairing: Rey and Ben Solo

PART ONE:

The New York winds were especially biting that December morning as Rey made her way through the bustling streets of the city. She wove in and out of passersby as everyone went about their day, each individual having separate lives, separate troubles, and separate dreams.

Rey had quite a few dreams of her own, but they were sometimes hard to make into reality. She had worked her ass off to get to where she was today, though. It was a great and classic story; a ‘nobody’ girl who came from the rural countryside making it big in the city. She’d always been passionate about helping people and doing what she could for the underdog, probably because she had felt like one all her life. Nobody thought she could do it, but she graduated at the top of her class in almost every subject, excelled in sports, and even dabbled in the theatrical arts when she had time. Her determination and hard work didn’t leave room for many friendships, but she didn’t mind putting all of that behind her when she moved to the city to study law.

College was good to her. She finally met some people she would call lifelong friends. She studied hard, and she learned harder. She was still kind of a ‘loner’ at heart, never really being the person to be seen out at parties, bars, or clubs. Every once in awhile she let herself go crazy, but it was rare. So much so that her friends started calling her “The Black Cat” because it was such a shock, and slightly unnerving, whenever she actually showed up to events. She knew the superstitions and implications surrounding a black cat, and she easily could have taken offense at the nickname, but Rey secretly liked it. Let her be known for her sly, hard work and mystery, not how well liked and popular she was or wasn’t.

It was this mentality that ultimately landed her a job as an intern at Skywalker and Associates straight out of college. It was a miracle from the stars that she got accepted into one of the top law firms in the state so soon after graduating. She didn’t really believe in a “higher power”, but something up there in the infinite galaxies must have been on her side. She knew she was good, and had the potential to be the best, but she had never before had the resources due to her upbringing. The opportunity was something she would never be ungrateful for.

It had been almost eight months since she started interning, and already she was making her way up in the company. Her dedication to cases and her keen eye for detail had gained her the attention of some of the more prominent names in the office and she hoped it was enough to be the next Jr. Partner.

Rey pulled off the street to step into a small coffee shop. A little bell chimed as she pushed open the door and the wondrous smells filled her nose as she took a deep breath in. The warmth filled her body and was almost a shock coming from such a drastic difference only seconds before, but she welcomed the comfort.

She stepped in line and perused the menu, even though she already knew what she wanted. It was the same thing she always got - a french press, dark roast with just a little bit of half and half - as she was a woman of pattern and repetition. Getting the same thing day in and day out had never bothered her. It was safe, it was what she knew. Why risk something that would rock the boat? Even though she didn’t normally believe in “luck”, she didn’t want to risk it today. This was her chance to finally start doing real cases and to work on projects that would make a difference.

“Would you like to round up your order and donate to the Children’s Hospital for the holidays?”

The barista’s voice took her out of her own head after she had apparently told them her order without thinking. Rey smiled and nodded her head quickly in response. She felt in a ‘giving mood’ that morning. Send as much “good karma” out into the universe as she could.

“Thank you so much, and have a nice day!”

The words faded into the hustle and bustle of the crowd as Rey stepped away and waited for her drink. She dug her phone out of her pocket and soon got lost in social media, scrolling mindlessly. Friends and distant family passed her screen, seeming to all be living happy and comfortable lives with their loved ones.

Rey had always wished for that kind of security and ‘home’. It was one of the reasons she worked as hard as she did, so she could hopefully someday give that life to herself. The one she never had, but always wanted. Her mother passed away when she was in grade school and her father left before she was even born. Being an only child, her uncle had offered to take her in, but he was a bachelor with a demanding job and very little time for another human being besides himself. He wasn’t the worst person in the world and they got along well enough, he was just never really much of a ‘parental figure’. She learned early on that she would have to find her own place in the world, and her fierce determination was set from that moment on.

She didn’t know why this was the morning of reminiscing, but something about the possibility of change must have had her brain in that mode. Rey brushed off the weirdness as she got up out of her seat after hearing her name being called. She made her way through the crowded cafe and grabbed her coffee.

She turned to leave, thanking the employee behind the counter again over her shoulder, when suddenly, she was almost knocked off her feet by an incoming stranger. She caught herself and her coffee, thankful for the lid stuck solidly to the cup, and turned around with a glare.

A tall man with broad shoulders and dark, shoulder length hair had been the culprit. His tall frame towered over her, but he seemed intent on barely even acknowledging her in his attempt to rush past. She caught his attention though, and he turned to look back at her over his shoulder. Rey, astounded by the audacity of the stranger, continued to glare and silently dared him to apologize for the discrepancy.

The man simply blinked at her for the briefest of moments, a glint in his dark eyes as they gazed back at her with an air of pride and so little remorse that it sent a shiver down her spine. Then, without a word, he continued on his way as if he had never hit her at all.

Rey scoffed angrily and whipped around on her heels as quickly as she could to get out of the coffee shop, now with a sour taste in her mouth. Some people are just assholes, she concluded as she once again walked out the door. A gust of blistering cold air hit her face and she closed her eyes. She tightened her scarf around her neck and pulled it up so that it was covering her nose, trying to shelter as much of her face as she could. God, she hated the cold...

***

It was as busy as always at the office. Rey quickly got lost in her work, and she didn’t realize how much time had passed before she heard her co-worker, Rose, calling her name.

“Do you ever take a break?”

The short cropped, black haired girl crossed her arms over the top of Rey’s desktop computer, forcing her to break from her work. She couldn’t help but smile when looking up into her ever cheerful, grinning face.

“I don’t have time for a break,” Rey said, trying to see past the distraction.

“I admire your dedication,” Rose stood on her tiptoes to lean over and look at Rey’s computer upside down. She was one of Rey’s favorite coworkers. Unlike the other women, she didn’t sit around the office and gossip all day, but had just about as much dedication to her job as Rey did. Well, almost as much.

“Did you hear about Rex and Ava?”

“Oh my God, no! Did they hook up?”

The chatter of the women standing behind them was too much for Rey. The office was notorious for rumors, especially of the romantic kind. Apparently, the people who worked there were infatuated with who was dating who, who had an affair with who, and who slept with who. Personally, Rey wanted nothing to do with it and couldn’t care less about the love lives of her coworkers. Unless it was Rose, but one of the things Rey liked about her was that she was pretty private and kept her personal life separate from her work life.

“I heard they got lunch yesterday and-”

“That’s crazy! I thought she was seeing that Lando guy from Brooklyn-”

“Look,” Rose said, “you eventually have to take a break. You know that, right? It’s bad for your mental health to be so busy all the time. And it’s kind of required by law.”

Rey smiled at her friend. “I know,” she said, placing her palm on Rose’s head and softly pushed it back so that she had to move off of her computer, “and thank you for caring, but I’m alright.”

“You would let me know if you weren’t, right?”

“I heard that the CEO’s son was going to start here in the new year.”

“No way! That arrogant jerk wants nothing to do with his father’s company. And he’s supposedly a real ‘ladies man’.”

“But I heard he’s super attractive and has that ‘rich bad boy�� vibe. Wouldn’t that be so hot?”

“Well, I have to admit, that would be a welcome change around here.”

Rey tried to drown out the distractions of the noises and she managed to plaster another reassuring smile on her face. “Of course I would.”

“It’s a long shot, but we’re all getting drinks at Naboo’s, that new cocktail bar down the street, if you’d like to join us?” Rose asked, motioning to a few of the other women who were all filing behind her and collecting their coats and respective purses. Her dark eyes begged Rey to come along, and she hated to disappoint, but she knew she didn’t want to go.

“I wish I could,” Rey said with a hint of genuine sadness in her voice, “but I just have so much work to do. I was planning on staying a little late tonight anyway.”

“Well, you can’t blame me for trying,” Rose chuckled with a shrug. She turned to leave and gave Rey a little wave over her shoulder.

“Have fun without me,” Rey called after her as she walked away, grabbing her own coat as she passed by the coat rack.

“Would be more fun with you,” Rose teased. There was a small ding and the now collective group of men and women who were leaving for the day clamored into the elevator.

Rey watched as the doors slid shut and just like that, it was silent in the office. She let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding and sighed with relief. It was always nice when she could be here by herself. She found that she got more work done with less distractions. She wouldn’t be there that late anyway and her bosses didn’t mind as long as it helped further the business. Some of them were still working in their own offices, so she wasn’t completely alone.

She grabbed her laptop to take to the conference room and finish some paperwork on a particularly difficult case. Although, she quickly discovered that maybe not taking a single break that day, even to eat, was probably an issue. Her stomach growled and at first she tried to ignore it, but when her hunger headache began, she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep it up for too much longer.

With a long sigh, Rey stood and made her way to the break room. Taking a peek through the floor to ceiling windows, she could see the city all lit up for the evening. There was something special about New York at night, but especially around the holidays. People had candles in their windows and hung colorful lights on balconies and railings and really wherever they could find space. She loved upstate, and not just because of the expensive look of her surroundings and the other rich things it had to offer, but because the city really did look stunning at night. Like a million, twinkling stars, but unlike the unreachable night sky above, if you reached out to touch them, they were almost in your grasp.

***

After making a quick protein filled smoothie, Rey went back to the empty room to finish her work. Only, when she got there, she discovered that she was not alone.

A man lounged in her chair, his back towards her. Without even seeing him standing, she could tell how tall he was just by how far his legs extended out from under him. He was sitting with his feet propped up on another chair close to him, one leg crossed over the other, and he was staring at her open laptop. The light from the screen illuminated his frame and she couldn’t see past his thick shoulders and broad upper torso. Something about him was so familiar to her, but she didn’t care enough to think too deeply on it as her focus was more caught on how he was snooping in on her personal case.

“Excuse me, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” She said sharply, expecting to see him jump in surprise at being caught, but he didn’t move a muscle. Instead, she heard a calm, deep voice come from the opposite side of his large body.

“I’m reading.”

The response was simple, but the tone of it made her feel like she was the stupid one for even having asked the question in the first place.

“That’s my laptop,” she said plainly, taken off guard and not knowing how else to react.

“Is it? That’s interesting,” the man sounded bored and Rey thought for a second that he didn’t even seem to be listening to her at all.

“I’m sorry, but can I have my seat back? I was working on an important case.” Rey took a few defiant steps closer, trying to be as brave as she could. Something about this man unnerved her and she was suddenly very aware that she was alone with a stranger in an almost completely empty and dark room.

“I can see that,” he said, reaching a hand up to his face and rubbing his chin, “you’ve missed something important in your report though.” He still didn’t turn to her, but his other hand appeared beside him and he wiggled two fingers, motioning for her to come over to him. Rey felt her face heat with anger and embarrassment. How dare this strange man try to correct her on her case. Who did he think he was, anyway?!

Against her better judgement, Rey couldn’t suppress her pride and she realized she had to know what he was talking about. She’d looked over this case for almost an entire week now, and she was sure there was no way she could have missed a thing. It was a pretty cut and dry case, anyway. A man cheated on his fiance and she was suing him, hoping to make him pay for all the money her and her family had already spent on the upcoming wedding.

“What are you talking about?” Rey asked bluntly as she stepped over to the man. She leaned over his shoulder and squinted her eyes in the laptop light, trying to find the discrepancy she was sure was nowhere to be found.

“Right here,” the man’s deep voice was directly in her ear and she could feel his hot breath on her neck, instantly sending shivers down her spine, “the report says that your client’s ex-fiance cheated on her with another woman. That’s a lie.”

“No it’s not, the evidence proved that he was seeing another woman while they were together, and one of the witnesses all but admitted to being his mistress. It’s a cut and dry case.”

“Except that he wasn’t seeing another woman. He was seeing three.”

“Excuse me?!” The accusation was so outrageous that Rey had to turn and give the man the most incredulous look, and when their eyes met, she suddenly remembered where she had seen him before. The scene from that morning in the coffee shop played in her mind like a rerun of a bad TV show. Her breath hitched in her throat as he stared back at her with a wry smile on his lips.

“The sample of hair they found on his suit coat the night of the supposed affair is blonde. The color of your witnesses hair is a muted brunette,” he began to explain his reasonings, never breaking eye contact with Rey while she stared dumbfoundedly back at him.

“That’s only two women. You said there were three.” She stood up straight and looked down on the dark haired man who leaned back further into his seat to keep her gaze. She knew her response was weak, suddenly doubting everything she thought she knew about this case and hating herself for missing something so obvious as that. But she was still determined not to let this stranger get the better of her.

The man’s smile faded and he moved from his seat, slowly getting up. It seemed to take him an impossibly long time to rise, but when he stretched to his full height, he towered at least a good foot above her. He looked down at her with little interest in his eyes, as if he had just gotten bored of their conversation and was bothered by her presence.

Suddenly, he was leaning in towards her and Rey’s hand instinctively grabbed the pepper spray she carried in her jacket, but the man reached past her and pulled over a plastic baggy full of evidence. Rey’s breathing was heavy with a mixture of fury and fear as he grabbed the bag and pulled it towards him.

“The perfume found in his car is an original vintage bottle of Versace made in 1983. There are only a few of these rare finds left and their price runs around one thousand dollars a pop. Judging from the size of the pocket books on both of the ladies he was seeing, neither of them could afford such a luxury. Which of course suggests that he had another, more prominent and wealthy woman on his hands.”

Rey swallowed hard and tried to keep her expression as blank as she could, but he was making too much and too little sense at the same time, and her head was spinning with confusion. Who did this arrogant bastard think he was to come in here and completely destroy her work like this?

“Not to mention, I happen to know the lovely lady who owns this particular bottle,” his fingers traced the side of the bag and he looked at it with such a perverse smile that it made Rey’s stomach turn, “She can be very… persuasive when she wants something. Her father, who owns a tenth of the real estate in upper Manhattan, will do everything he can to fight the scandal. Which means new, expensive lawyers on the defendants side and probably a lot of shaddy underground work to get him out scotch free. I have a feeling your client isn’t going to get the money, if anything, as easily as she thought.”

The silence that followed was excruciating. Rey was shocked by the revelation and the ridiculous outcome of this case she had been working her life away on. There was no way that they could have hidden this from her, was there? Her mind raced with all the possibilities that this could mean and she scrambled to find a way, any way, to turn this back in her client's favor. Could she beg for a settlement and at least get some money to the poor, mistreated woman? Or maybe she could convince the judge that this was a gross misuse of trust and blame emotional manipulation? There had to be something, anything...

“Or,” the low drawl of the man’s voice as he drew out the word snapped Rey out of her spiral. His black eyes glittered once again with something she couldn’t place and the corner of his mouth twitched up in a cocky smile as he wiggled the evidence in his hand, “this could just be a regular old department store perfume bottle and I was simply fucking with you.”

Another silence filled the room and Rey found she couldn’t breathe again. What… the… hell had he just said?

“I-I’m sorry, what?” She hissed her question and the smile on the man’s face grew wider.

“That was fun, sweetheart,” his condescending words made Rey’s blood boil, “let’s do this again sometime. When I need comic relief in this shithole of a job, I’ll look for you.” He stretched his arms behind his neck and sauntered around her, making his way out of the room. He stopped in the doorway and turned over his shoulder to give her a taunting wink.

“See you around.”

*to be continued*

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teaandatale · 5 years

Note

forgotten first meeting and either space au or roommate au for steggy?

57. forgotten first meeting & 22. Space AU or 12. Roommate AU

Well… How about all three???

Sorry this took so long! Given my last two, I wanted to makesure this one was a decent ficlet length, and I realized I’ve had a sci-fi/spacedrought in the last year so it took a bit to get myself into the zone. This ismore of a collection of scenes, but I hope it gives you the gist of this ficmash up! Um… It’s quite long for a meme thing… So there’s a cut.

He’s not sure what he had exactly expected out of the Servicewhen he first joined up, but Steve sure hadn’t been expected to be halfway tothe outer belt aboard the most protected, secretive ship in the known galaxy, the U.S.S. SHIELD. He hadn’t expected an Earther like him would be tapped for a highly classified secret mission with the SSR. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He was working his standard circuit between Earth, Moon Colony II & Mars Colony, patrolling for the usual contraband when the call came. A prepped mission just lost one of their crew members, and he was requested at behalf of the Service’s highly elite trained SSR squad to report for duty. Steve made his last stop, brought his second-in-command and best friend Bucky up to speed, and boarded the first transport ship out towards the Service base on Ganymede.

He also sure as hell hadn’t expected to be paired up with the woman that he had been half in love when they were just recruits nine years ago.

Peggy Carter hasn’t changed much in his eyes, at least not in her stature and attitude. Her hair was longer than it had been back then, worn loose unlike the pulled back regulations of recruit days. But those eyes, the quirk of her brow and the perfect red lips, he remembered them just like yesterday, when his breath hitched and he never quite recovered it.

The moment he locked eyes with her, he gets a giddy feeling in his stomach, both excitement and something like nostalgia.

“Agent Peggy Carter, Agent Steve Rogers, welcome aboard,” CommanderPhillips, an old familiar face, greeted them on the Command Deck. “You’ll be getting to know each other very well over the course of this mission, but we’ll start with the high-level objectives and schematics.”

There doesn’t seem to be any recognition in Peggy’s eyes, and she quickly turns away to focus on Phillips.

“The target of course is Hydra, as you’ve both crossed paths with them in the System.”

He tries not to dwell on it as Phillips pulls up the relevant mission documents. They’re joined by Howard Stark who Peggy does seem to recognize.

An hour later, preliminary brief under way, they are giving initial prep assignments aboard the ship.

“I look forward to working with you Agent Rogers,” Peggy says without any ounce of familiarity as she sticks her hand out to him. He tries not to take it personally, after all, why would she remember him from that night they properly met all those years ago.

Steve swallows his disappointment and shakes her hand back. “I look forward to it also, Agent Carter.”

“Now if someone could point me to my quarters, it’s been a long journey here,” she says.

Howard taps several times on his command screen then clicks his tongue. “We’re running a full crew right now given the situation. The mission team was paired in the same bunk room before you two got assigned to this in their stead. Looks like you’ll have to make due with bunking together. It’s at least private quarters, unlike all the juniors manning Comm stations. They’restill in the general barrack bunks.” He shrugs. “Good time as any to get toknow each other real well before you two go off on your own.”

He notices Peggy make a face for a moment, but she doesn’t comment. Bunking with a girl. Bunking with Peggy. Maybe he should offer to take a spot in the bunks.

“Fine,” she responds in a clipped tone. “Now if you please Howard, point us to our quarters.”

The quarters are small, as to be expected, though he supposes he’d been a bit spoiled having decent quarters on his usual circuit ship. The two bunks are built into opposite walls, with a small workstation under each. The privacy away from the crowded bunkrooms was a privilege. And Stark was right. He and Peggy were really going to need to get to know each other if they were going to make the covert mission work.

“Do you have a preference?” he asks her of the bunks.

“I’ll take the right wall if you don’t mind.”

He nods. “Of course,” he replies and they both get to work unpacking their personal effects in silence.

Steve contemplated saying something to break the silence, but he wasn’t sure if that would be more awkward than just saying nothing. He’d shared bunkrooms with women before, but he’d never shared private quarters withone, and definitely not one he had a crush on.

He decides not to make the situation anymore awkward for Peggy, who he is sure is not thrilled about sharing with him, and decides to give her as much privacy as one can in a tiny space.

“I apologize if I’m a bit short,” he hears from across the room. He turns and sees Peggy holding her blanket. “It’s been a long and wild journey here for me, so I’m on hour 34 without sleep.”

“You’re kidding!”

She shrugs. “Duty calls, but we hit an uncharted asteroid field which had been a pleasure to map out until we discovered it was one of the forgotten mine fields from the War.”

He’s impressed. Not surprised. But still… Impressed. “Wow,” ends up as his response.

“I just mean that the last few days have been particularly stressful.”

“Of course,” he agrees quickly. “That is one hell of a voyage to manage on a good day. Well you should probably get some shut-eye while you can. I was gonna scope the ship out. I can bring some food back in a couple of hours.”

He’s rewarded with a sleepy smile from her, and he can feel his heart thump against his ribcage. “That would be lovely. Perhaps some coffee if you can find it?”

He smiles back. “You got it.”

That first night, alone in their quarters together is awkward, even though Peggy seemed to warm to him when he had delivered on his promise of coffee and food. She asked him about his work on the patrol route, and he gets to hear about the more lengthy intense covert ops that had led her to stints on pretty much every occupied planet and various lunar colonies. He asks her a lot of questions about undercover work, having only done a few of his, and mostly out of necessity than direct order from above. He keeps waiting for an organic moment where their shared past will come up, but it doesn’t. They have a stilted conversation about turning the lights off, and then in the darkness, hyper aware that she is only several feet away, Steve can’t sleep. He stares up blankly, listening to the sounds of Peggy tossing and turning to get comfortable. He wonders if she slept well during her nap, or if like him, found that so much space travel made his brain so dizzy it wouldn’t easily relax.

He thinks about Bucky, and considers sending him a message just to check up on him. He thinks about how he spent the long voyage her missing his mother. It had been a long time since he had so many uninterrupted hours to just think. He misses her every day, but he had missed her so intensely the farther he got away from Earth, in a way he hadn’t felt since her funeral.

The morning alarm comes to early, but he’s out of bed and doing his usual routine or stretches and warm-up before he remembers that he has a roommate. He had so easily pulled off his t-shirt as he normally would have for exercise, but he feels so suddenly naked without it.

A sleepy Peggy Carter is a sight to behold, her features so soft. But even sleepy, her eyes roam his chest and he flushes. He grabs for the shirt on the floor and pulls it on, not daring to look in Peggy’s direction until he’s done his pull-ups. She joins in his stretches, and when she lifts her arms high up, he has to look away from her as a sliver of skin at her stomach becomes visible, before he says or does something embarrassing.

It’s been a long time since he’d been on a long voyage like this. He was used to his shorter cycles, never in the same place for more than a week, not going longer than three or four days without a docking. They’re still a while out before their passenger ship is outfitted and ready to go. It gives them plenty of time to strategize and to catch the other up on their knowledge and run-ins with Hydra.

They spend most of their days together. Compiling notes on known Hydra assets. Visiting Stark to confer about the specs needed for their mission. They run flight simulations together, Peggy as the lead pilot, the role she will be taking, and Steve as both navigator and lead engineer. They work on their cover, and keep up physical exercise, and weapons training, all together. By the end of their third week in transit, they’ve developed a genuinefriendship. Steve still listens carefully every night as she gets comfortablein her bed, listening for the sound of her breathing evening out before hefalls to sleep.

Two weeks after the success of their first covert trip, the test run Stark insisted upon before they flew off toward the Outer Belt alone, as goes to hell onboard the U.S.S SHIELD. They backtracked to Jupiter as the upheaval at Mars Colony played out. Phillips was apparently concerned about the powers at play, and was called back in the event a true skirmish arose. Which was perfect time for their main comm system to go down. As the Command Deck scrambled to boot up secondary and tertiary systems without compromising their position, Steve jumped below deck with Stark to try to recover the main system.

“Steve? Any progress?” he hears Peggy ask on their local two-way.

“Slow going Peggy,” he says with a sigh.

He hears her sigh too. “It’s not looking good. Phillips’ is navigating blind and the Mars situation seems to be getting worse.”

“Riots?”

She hums. “We’re picking up gun ships on the long-range. No accurate reading though with the system so intermittent.”

“Shit.”

He and Stark exchange a look. They have Peggy confirm output levels as they work, hearing as the situation gets more and more tense, with a three-gunship fleet sent out ahead to make better assessment. She gives them updates as she assists the crew upstairs. The repair takes hours, but they get it done.

“Peg we got it! Should be live any second!” He doesn’t wait for her response before rushing back over to her.

There’s a cacophony of noise on the Command Deck when Stevefirst reaches it, followed up a sudden eerie silence as the newsfeeds come back up, and the screens report the live images. He gasps along with the rest of them with the fiery images of ships under fire. The distress calls of one ofthe fleet’s gunships comes too late. He feels Peggy’s hand on his arm, but hecan’t even focus on it when he sees another disturbing image. A patrol ship, with an emblem of a star encased in concentric circles. Destroyed. His patrol ship. Bucky. Destroyed. The Honorary First Avenger patrol ship destroyed as it made a play to intercept fire at civilian passenger ship bound for Earth. Bucky…

“Steve.”

He doesn’t recognize that he’s the one hyperventilating until she calls his name. He looks at Peggy but sees nothing. Her hand is still onhis arm.

“Steve.”

“That’s my…” He can’t breathe. He wants to scream. “Bucky.”

The look she gives him is too painful to look at.

“No! No!”

Something squeezes his arm. “Steve, please! Please. Stay with me here. Breathe please. Please.”

He tries to follow her breaths, but between the chaos in his head and the tears streaming across his face, he can’t be here. He should have been there. It should have been him not Bucky. He pulls away and runs. He runs all the back to their quarters. He starts to scream into the void of the empty room, pounding his fist into the wall. He’s never so wished he had private quarters until this very moment. How can he have a breakdown and scream and cry and mourn and hate when he has to share a room with someone? How is he supposed to keep this all in check? How is his best friend dead?

Steve’s lost track of everything. Time. Space. His own body. Everything hurts so much that at this point his muscles feel numb. He jumps when the door opens. Peggy looks at him mournfully. He wipes his hand roughly across his face, clenches his jaw and wills himself not to show further emotion. She comes and sits down next to him on the floor. He doesn’t remember getting there. Was he not in his bunk?

Peggy puts her hand in his and pulls him close to her. He feels like she’s waiting for something, but Steve doesn’t move or say anything. Neither does she. After a while, he feels her hands slide up his arms. He blinks away more tears that have formed and watches her look at him. His shoulders are still heaving when her hands come up to touch them. He tries to still his uncontrollable body.

She comes close and without warning, her lips are on high on his cheekbone. The next moment she’s ushering him into his bunk. He feels like a scolded puppy sent to its cage. He turns over towards the wall with a frown. But then he feels something warm behind him.

“I’m so sorry Steve,” Peggy murmurs into his ear, pressing her lips again his jaw. She curls into him, her arm around his waist, her head resting against his shoulder. The rest of his defenses fall and he lets her hold him, turning so that they’re facing each other. “I’m so sorry,” she repeats as he sobs again, this time against her chest. “I’m here for you. I’m right here with you Steve.”

They spoon all night. She doesn’t leave in the morning. Peggy continues to weaver her fingers through his hair, and rub her hands down his back. But she doesn’t leave. They get up to clean themselves up, to force food into him, and for Peggy, a brief check-in up at Command where things have cooled significantly. Steve worries he’s all alone again.

But then Peggy comes back and climbs into bed with him. He doesn’t give a shit anymore. He presses his fingers into her hips and pulls her against him. When she curls her hand around his neck, he shudders and buries his face against her shoulder. Their bodies twist close together in the tiny bunk, warmth pooling between them. She lets him grip her close like his life depends on it. He thinks it might.

He dreams of the night they met.

It was at the canteen late one night after a long day of training simulations and ship duties. She’s one of three women on the ship. She’s been there for two weeks longer than the rest of them. So when Hodge, a brick head of a bully at the best of times, makes a pass at her and then tells her she can serve under him once he’s Captain of his own ship real soon because trust him, his dad’s got money so he’s sure of a promotion in a hurry, she gives him a calm request of an apology. He snorts and reaches for her ass. He’s barely made contact when she grabs his wrist, twists and then lands a punch to his jaw so quick and clean Steve’s mouth drops in wonder and quite honestly adoration. Hodge stumbles with the force of the hit and falls flat on his ass. A couple of his friends try to help him out, while the rest mostly look away not wanting to get involved. Hodge pushes his friends hands away, and red-faced marches towards her. She doesn’t look fazed but Steve finds himself there blocking his way before he can realize what’s happening.

“Easy there Hodge you don’t want to embarrass yourself a second time huh?”

“You stay out of it you pipsqueak Earther.”

It stings, like those comments always have, but he’s used to it. Had nineteen years of the like.

“That’s really original. No wonder they haven’t promoted you yet. Or is that just because your dad doesn’t have connections to Commander Phillips so your stuck proving your worth the same as they rest of us? Now if you’ll excuse me, now that your seat is vacated I wanted to get a drink.”

Hodge’s buddies talk him out of causing trouble and he walks out. Beating Steve up in front of plenty of witnesses at the canteen won’t earn him any favors. Everyone knows Phillips is a hard ass with no humor for nonsense. And Steve bets if Hodge did get in trouble, Steve would be right there with him for instigating it. It would have been worth it for the amused look Peggy Carter gives him alone.

“He’s a fun one isn’t he?” He finds himself commenting. It’s odd for him because he’s never really been able to talk to girls before. And here’s the most gorgeous one he’s ever met and he can’t stop his mouth.

She arches her brow, the amused look still present. He feels heat at the back of his neck and to avoid further making awkward motions, hefiddles with the drink he didn’t really want but felt compelled to get.

They sit there side by side in silence.

“Don’t listen to him,” he hears her say after a moment. He’s not sure what this advice is in reference to. To his harassment of her? “Not all of us come from the high life of Mars Colony.”

He’s surprised, pleasantly so, feeling a tug of connection with her already.

“You’re an Earther?” he asks excitedly. She’s the only other Earth-born that he’s met in his almost year with the service.

She nods. “Yes. I was born in London. Where are you from?”

“Brooklyn,” he tells her.

“That’s lovely. I’ve only been to Brooklyn proper once myself but visited New York frequently as a young child. My father was based there for a while.”

He dreams of how they talked for hours before they had to get shut-eye before morning duty. He dreams of how he had been so excited to talk with her again.

When he wakes up, after their third night of sleeping together, Steve kisses her once. Soft, gentle, quick. He feels too raw for anything more. Her closeness and her caring of him is a gift. They turn until they face each other, Peggy playing with his hair.

“We’ve met before,” he tells her, his voice rough with disuse. Her eyebrow quirks but she lets him continue. “On the U.S.S. Valkyrie. We were both recruits. At the canteen. You punched Gilmore Hodge. Remember him?”

She bites her lip as she thinks. “Yes, though it’s a little hazy. There have been a lot of assholes in my path.”

He shrugs his shoulders. “I understand. It was almost ten years ago.”

She bites her lip as she thinks some more. “Wait. The canteen. We talked about Earth. I told you about my brother Michael.”

He nods, and the first small smile in days forms on his lips. “Yeah, your fighter pilot brother Michael.”

“You told me about your Mum. A nurse making ends meet. Why didn’t you come find me again?”

He sighs. “Two days later I got a call from the hospital Maworked at. She was dying. The Service granted me a leave of absence. She died three months later. I came straight back to the Valkyrie. You were already gone.”

Peggy kisses him, so gentle, so full of warmth it makes him cry again. She doesn’t seem off put by the tears. “The stars are not always inour favor. But I’m so glad they found us here together despite all things.” Henods numbly in response. “I’m sorry I didn’t remember you Steve Rogers.”

He shrugs. “We’re here now.”

Peggy laces their fingers together. “We are here together. And I won’t leave you alone for anything. Not for all the galaxies inthe universe.”

#thesokovianaccords #steggy au mashup #my fic #maybe this will become a real fic one day #thanks for sending me these guys #they've really sparked my inspiration to write!!#steggy

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incorrectly-quoted-queers · 4 years

Text

Drunk Punch Love: INTERMISSION ARCHANGEL

Pairing: FemShep and Garrus Vakarian (Shakarian)

Rating: PG-13 (with some tossed F-bombs)

Summary: Their awkward, badass journey through saving the galaxy and accidentally falling in love

INTERMISSION ARCHANGEL: The End.

Shepard had been dead 232 days.

Garrus had been going over their new security measures when the apartment's front door pinged. It wasn't a sound he heard often, since all the crew had their own codes to the back door. But the Via siblings were new, and Butler's wife did sometimes stop by, so he figured it was just one of them.

What he didn't expect was a female turian with blue markings to have her arms crossed, looking at him like he just committed a crime. Before he could react, the glare faded and she smiled at him. Garrus' head still wasn't fully straight when she pulled him into her arms.

It only clicked together that this wasn't some damn fever dream when she started talking. "Happy birthday, baby brother!"

Oh. It was that day.

"I'd ask if I surprised you, but I already know I did." The second he shut his door behind him, closing off his vigilante world from his family, that damned brain of hers caught on and she peered at him. "I know you wouldn't have anything planned for your birthday, so what are you hiding?"

If it was his father, he could lie and say a woman and the man would happily walk away from the shut door, uninterested. But Solana was a different beast. She was curious, intrusive, and interested in damn near anything. It would be hard to keep her out of his apartment, lined with guns, gear, and a krogan casing the joint.

Also, she definitely would give him shit for his undecorated bedroom and that was a blast from the past he never wanted to deal with again.

So, his best shot was to go truth adjacent. "There was a break-in on my block. I have a consultant in there retrofitting my place with more security."

"You caring about your own well-being and safety is... new, but I won't complain." Solana snorted and shook her head at him, in her normal well-meaning but condescending way. "Only you would schedule a security consultation on your birthday. Were you going to do anything at all?"

Garrus leaned against his door and tried not to look too pissed off, because Solana knew the answer to that and was really just trying to push his buttons. Sure, that would be a stretch for anyone else, but his big sister? He knew how she operated. Probe for intel and then use that intel to make whatever point she was making infallible. He stuck with, "You know the answer to that."

"Doesn't the fact I know the answer to that speak volumes to the issue at hand?" Dammit. And he thought he said something neutral. Before he could spike back, she added, "It's been three years, Garrus, you're not dancing on mother's grave just because you dare to enjoy your birthday."

Now that one was a funny answer. "Really Sol? That's easy for you to say when she didn't die on yours."

"I've never liked the guilt games you and father play. Just yesterday he was messaging me about how it's his fault you react poorly to death and rebel. But do either of you do anything with that guilt? Because that's progress I'd like to see." Garrus almost laughed, because the one thing close to progress was also the one thing he really didn't want her to see. "Life happens. Death happens. Now, if I remember correctly, I begged for a sibling. So if not for yourself, let's celebrate the happiest day of my four year old life, meeting my little brother."

He wanted to stay mad and indignant, maybe even scare her off. But dammit, he cared too much about Solana for that. Groaning, he pushed off the door and conceded. "Fine, let's go get some food and see a flick or something. You did come all this way to see me."

"You're right, I did, so thank you for appreciating it." She walked forward first and he took the opportunity to cover his tracks. With a flick of his wrist he typed out a quick message to Jawth and Sidonis, asking them to hide the guns and clean up the place before he got back; that his sister came for a surprise visit.

They agreed without asking a single question. Which was good, because he'd rather off himself than tell those assholes what day it was.

Now the real landmine was keeping Solana from looking too deeply into the Archangel rumors. If that caught her interest, he was sure she could figure it out. He didn't expect her to snitch to their father, who would objectively hate what he was doing, but he also didn't know how she'd react.

Garrus just wanted his sister to remain his annoying, inordinately supportive sister. He didn't want that to get complicated.

Somehow, he managed to dodge all Archangel talk the entire time. His most impressive save was pretending to choke on something to be louder than and scare off a guy at the cafe who wouldn't stop talking about his crew and their latest hit. Solana definitely didn't need to hear about "That blue-ass sniper turian."

That was more than enough to get her curious.

When they got to his apartment door, he almost breathed a sigh of relief. They'd made it, all the way back to his place, and she still didn't know. She could spend the night here and then he could send her back off to her life on Palaven, no harm no foul.

But for all his attempts, he'd forgotten one small, terrible little factor.

Sidonis knew who he was, and that man had a lot of contacts.

The second the metal panels slid open, every single one of his team was there, grinning like mad, with a garrish looking cake stuffed with candles. And right in front of his sister, the fuckers yelled, "Happy birthday, Archangel."

There were a lot of times with Shepard he wished to kill a man, but this time, he wanted to kill nine.

Solana just glared at him with a knowing smirk. "I fucking knew you were hiding something!"

Garrus grabbed her arm and took her outside, where all his idiot team wasn't watching. He started talking, fast. "Sol, I-"

"If you say you're sorry, I'll know you're lying." She shook her head. "So you're the infamous merc-killer? Honestly, I should've known. It was probably just wishful thinking." He was too overwhelmed to know what to say to that, but luckily Sol was happy to fill in the blanks. "I won't tell father. He would hate you for doing this. Just don't keep secrets from me, okay? I love you."

"I can give you that."

"Good. Now, why don't we enjoy your party that your team set up?" Before she walked through the door, she squeezed his arm and frowned. A classic Sol look of distaste; last time he saw it, it was when a co-worker of hers tried to ask her on a date because "she had to say yes to someone eventually". If Solana was less composed, he was sure she would've punched him. "I'm not eating that cake, though."

"Don't worry. I would have told you not to."

Shepard had been dead 365 days.

All he could see were her eyes. Soft green, always laughing at something. Until she wasn't. But wherever things were good, she was laughing, and hard. Garrus couldn't quite get his head straight, but he hoped he said something funny. More than likely, what actually happened was that he did something awkward and dumb, but that was almost just as good.

When he started scanning the room, he realized they were by one of the observation windows on the Normandy. Despite all the chaos in their lives, they'd taken a moment to look at the stars. He always liked it here. Why'd he never bring her here?

Even when she stopped laughing, she kept smiling. Like she always did after a long day, she pulled her hair out of that tight bun thing and kept on shaking it with her fingers. Sometimes he wondered what it felt like, and not like when he accidently touched it during movie night. Like how she was doing, hands all in.

But it was safe to say that was a bit more than a CO and an ex C-sec officer should be doing.

He wasn't quite sure what he was saying, or why he was saying it, but he told her, "When I look at the stars, I think of you." Garrus wasn't really sure when he got all bold. Maybe it was this haziness he was feeling.

Shepard raised one of her hairy eyebrows at him. "We live in space. On a spaceship. We see stars almost constantly."

Garrus took a step closer to her, sometimes wondering how she got anywhere with how oblivious she could be. And god knows he normally wasn't this smooth but this time, right here, he said what he wanted to. "Exactly my point."

Blinking, it took her a few seconds to register what he said, and she even turned to look up at him. But when their eyes did meet? Hers softened like for once, she finally got it. Her cheeks even did that little blush thing when she was embarrassed. "Oh."

With that look, was like all of his normal discomfort came rushing back, all those feelings that always told him not to say stupid shit like that. He shouldn't have said that, right? All those things she said she felt were byproducts of a lonely, drunk night where he got too close and she was alone enough to get stuck on it. She didn't like it, she couldn't, and it was weird, he was ruining the whole friendship thing... "Shepard, forget I said that-"

But then, she did that human thing they always saw in movies. She got on her toes and pressed her lips against his. It was weird, soft skin against his plates, but it was her skin, and that was what mattered.

Maybe he hadn't ruined everything.

Shepard said, "I won't forget-"

Everything seemed so right, but just then the wall blew open and Shepard was being sucked out into space. Again. He tried to grab onto her arms, legs, anything to keep her there. No matter what he reached for, she slipped through his goddamn fingers.

When he woke up, his body was shaking and he wrapped his arms around his legs. He hated to admit this wasn't the first time he had a dream like that, one where Shepard wasn't gone.

Garrus had tried so hard to keep her at bay. One year later, but she was always still there.

As long as he could help it, though, his nightmares would be the only place she had left to live. Elsewhere, he had work to do. And as much as he felt for her, pined for her, his life didn't have place for stubborn, Russian spectres.

Garrus had a station to protect.

Shepard had been dead for 728 days.

He never should've left the apartment. Garrus figured his team could cover the last of the security measures while he helped Sidonis. It should've been easy.

But when he got there, Sidonis never showed up. And when he got back, there was blood everywhere.

He trusted Sidonis, from the first day he met him. The damned turian seemed honest about wanting to save people. But here they were, and Lantar fucked them.

They were all going to die here, weren't they?

Most everyone was down already. Their corpses were strewn all over the place, their faces locked in horror or dull emptiness. The only ones left alive were Ryel, Gibbon, and Butler.

But from the looks of it, Butler didn't have much longer.

He yelled at the crippled leftovers of his team and asked, "How's it looking?"

Gibbon answered, "Understandably terrible. We have a vantage point, but they have many waves of mercs."

Ryel added, "This balcony view is not as pretty with bullets and brains flying everywhere."

Before he could respond, Butler grabbed Garrus' arm. His abdomen was covered in blood and he could see his stomach lining. The guy normally wore gray pants, but they looked like they'd been dyed red. "I'm not gonna make it, huh?"

"Butler-"

"Nah, I know." He coughed. Garrus couldn't lie to him. "As much as I'd like to go screaming out Nalah's name, I want to hear about something that doesn't break my heart. Tell me about your Russian girl, Garrus. And for real this time."

For all the times Garrus shoved her away, maybe Butler was right. If he was going to die, he'd rather hear about her one last time. He said to the other two, "Hold the line and be careful."

Then, he sat down next to Butler and held his hand. After all this time, nearly two years, he just started talking about Shepard like she really was. "Her name was Anya. She was competitive to a fault and loved saying quotes while she watched movies. She loved to dance, but just by herself. She was a brave leader, but what mattered more was that she was... She was a beautiful, squishy human."

"A human? Never woulda guessed." He knew he already told Butler she was human, but it wasn't really the time to contradict him. Blood loss never helped make the brain a stronger machine.

Instead, Garrus just kept talking, his grip on Butler's hand getting tighter as the memories and feelings wound around his chest. "Me neither, but from all your stories, you didn't sound like you expected to fall in love with an Asari either."

"You're right. I didn't. Tell me more?"

"She was a classic soldier, until she wasn't. An infiltrator class, great with a pistol, terrifying, even. But sometimes she'd walk into debriefings with sweatpants and her hair a mess, swearing about something the pilot did to her toothpaste. And I wondered how that person was the same one that inspired a whole ship, every day. But she did."

"And?" Butler looked at him knowingly, deliberately.

Today, Garrus let the dying man win. "And you were right, Butler. I loved her."

With one final smirk, his hand fell.

When Butler stopped breathing, Garrus picked up his gun, got behind cover like Ryel and Gibbon, and started shooting.

If he was going to go down, he was gonna go down fighting. And this time, he wouldn't stop thinking about her. This time, if he was gonna die, she'd be the last thing on his mind.

No matter where he went, he was stuck with her. Forever.

///

After a little interlude into Garrus' two years without Shepard, we can finally start getting Anya awake and moving in his direction. I am SO ready.

I read on tumblr a couple weeks ago that apparently a lot of people write their own version of 4 things: their first meeting, the rocket-to-the-face, the night before the suicide mission, and "this is the best spot on the citadel.

I know it's stupid, but I honestly feel kinda proud that I ignored their first meeting entirely. And also that my suicide mission night will be VERY different. Is it a stupid thing to be proud of? Yes, but at my core I'm kinda a trash hipster and I can feel pride and shame in that.

Anyway, thank you so much for reading! And extra thanks to my lovely patrons:

Danypooh80

Amy Connolly

If you want to help support my writing and my goal to create a fun, pro-fandom community, (future Twitch streams included) please check one of these places (or my bio) for more information:

Patreon: patreon.com/gracejordan

My Twitter: Steph_Marceau

My Wattpad: user/GraceJordan13

My patron tiers come with early access to chapters, voting on future episodes, brainstorming blogs, cameos, one-shots, etc. If you’re interested in helping out, please check it out. If you can’t, don’t worry and just keep on enjoying the story :)

#Drunk Punch Love #Shakarian #Intermission: Archangel #femshep x garrus #Garrus Vakarian #Anya Shepard #Lantar Sidonis #Archangel #Mass Effect 2 #mass effect fanfiction #fanfiction #Omega #Blue Suns

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insomnihan · 5 years

Text

han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Deja Vu”

youtube

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MY TIME HAS COME 2.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FULL INSOMNIA MODE DONT. LOOK. AT. ME.

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG OKAY LETS JUMP RIGHT INTO IT i wasnt expecting something lowkey sad BUT im not mad at it!!!!!!!!!! i had conflicting emotions when i desperately wanted to cry but also headbang?????? HOWEVER thanks to force and air the tears in my eyes were drying as i headbanged- LIKE this song really PUT ME THROUGH IT like that chorus didnt have tO DO ME LIKE THAT™!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THEN THE VERSES AND THE PRE-CHORUSES WERE SLOW (and the bridge but bridges be like that in nearly all songs) WHICH IM ACTUALLY REALLY INTO it was like being in a roller coaster with the verses being the slow hill and the chorus was the fall THAT PIANO GOES HARD...................... but like in a soft way????? DONT ASK ME WHAT IM SAYING IS IM A HOE™ FOR PIANO THOSE DRUMS DURING THE CHORUS STOP IT I CANNOT I FELT THEM VIBRATE THROUGH MY BONES

like i DEADASS have nothing to criticize or change about this song its PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS (except for like more gahyeon and dami????? pls??????)

siyeon starting the song.......................... thank you.............. I STILL STAND BY SAYING I WOULD LISTEN TO HER VOICE FOR LITERALLY FOREVER HER VOICE DURING THE CHORUS QUEEN OF SINGING CHORUSES OH BUT THEN THAT HIGH NOTE ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????? SHE DIDNT HAVE TO KILL ME LIKE THIS BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH I- and now....... im in the deja vu P L E A S E

gaaaaaaaahhhyeeeeeooonnnn her voice is so pretty!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I WANT MORE!!!!!!!!!! HOWEVER youre the second one to sing with this beautiful gentleness of a part and to be honest this part paired with siyeon starting it really eases you into the song and its quite the blessing to hear thanks- and then yknow this part right after handong........................... Heaven™

SPEAKING OF HANDONG LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE AMOUNT OF LINES SHE HAS MAKES ME WANNA CRY OKAY THIS PART RIGHT HERE............................. PLS.............. (i think its just me but theres a smaller voice singing like right under her voice????) HER PRE-CHORUS PARTS ARE LITERALLY THE BEST PARTS IN THE WHOLE SONG TO LISTEN TO pls believe me when i say this its NOT bc shes my ultimate bias like i genuinely like her parts the most

sua pls i was already prepared for softer vocals and you really gave that to me and then this is absolute perfection they were beautiful and amazing OF COURSE got me feeling like i was floating on actually clouds god TAHNK YOU AND THEN YOU JUST HAD TO HIT ME WITH YOUR PART RIGHT HERE???? i understand its just the chorus but I Felt That™ okay!!!!!!

JIU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i stand by saying how your voice be powerful as hell still even during these lines VERY short but VERY effective and very good leading into the chorus i love- and then your bridge....................... B I C T H really put me in my feelings but i welcome it with EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING and with open arms.......................

YOOHYEON AKA THE OTHER QUEEN OF SINGING CHORUSES I MEAN..................................... I LITERALLY DUNNO WHAT TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE THEIR BEAUTIFUL SOUNDING HER VOICE GOES WELL WITH THEM like i really like the parts she sings after siyeon like................. Y O O F if a feather became a voice-

i need more dami too..................... P L E A S E like obviously with their other songs i was expecting dami to be in the second verse and with a smooth rap section and the former was correct HOWEVER to my pleasant surprise SHE SANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her singing voice suited this SO MUCH and im actually glad there wasnt a rap part at all in this song especially that SECOND PART.................. Heaven™ 2x

my favorite lyrics (x): i know i said handongs were my favorite to listen to but i like these lines dont hurt me

난 이 숨결이 허락되는 날까지 As long as I can breathe 다신 너를 놓을 수 없어 I can’t let go of you again 우린 모든 순간 함께 할 테니 We’ll be together for every moment 내 곁에서 beside me

THE DANCE OKAY IM GONNA DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT ill be referring to THIS PERFORMANCE can we pls talk about how loud the fanchant is im crying and really take it in and all of their talented glory ANYWAY OF COURSE the choreography F UKCING SLAPS just so many different position changes and just alwaYS SO IN SYNC WITH EACH OTHER ITS INSANE ill just list them briefly and keep the points short this is long enough:

THE BEGINNING AND THE END BEING THE SAME...................... CERTAINLY DEJA VU-

SIYEONS TUTTING THING THANKS

handongs majestic spin

this and this with how the formation changes and how their arms swing AND the kick

ALSO in those parts in the last bullet i dunno why but i like that move jiu does when she sings IT HITS

i recall sua spoiling literally the first move of the chorus dance in that vlive THE CHORUS DANCE ALL THOSE FORMATION CHANGES LITERALLY MESS ME UP and THIS most important move in the entire choreography and they line up and its SO COOL to look at

when they lie on each other doing yoohyeons lines

handongs part again when theyre in the line and how satisfying it is to watch

THE ENTIRE BRIDGE

LITERALLY THE ENTIRE DANCE FROM START TO FINISH

QUEENS OF STABILITY

sidenote: can we talk about how handong and dami?????? literally spin during their parts????? and they sounded super clear??????

THE VISUALS SO.......................... if you had asked me two days ago (maybe a little bit of yesterday) about how i felt about this video.................. i wouldve mentioned some unpopular opinions regarding the videos look............ i mentioned to gwen @loonapunk that i wasnt TOO into it............ BUT- after finally sitting down to do this long ass post i dont hate it!!!!!!!!!!!! i think bc i have to remind myself that this song (album???? well song-) is for that kings raid game and all the visuals AND story are based off that????? i dunno BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS I LIKE TO WATCH IT

IM TOO BIG STUPID™ TO COMPREHEND THIS STORYLINE AND COME UP WITH MY OWN THEORIES EVEN NOW AND I WOULD L O V E TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU BUT THIS IS LONG ENOUGH AS IT IS SO ILL REDIRECT YOU TO THEORY POSTS (TWO (2) FROM MY GALAXY BRAIN MOOTS) THAT I LIKED:

@highsomnia NITAS POST WHICH I PERSONALLY FOUND ENJOYABLE TO READ SO IF YOU COULD READ THIS YOU SHOULD ALSO READ THAT

@in-somnias ELENAS POST WHICH WAS ALSO AN INTERESTING READ RIGHT HERE

AND THEN THIS ONE THAT WAS ORIGINALLY FROM TWITTER i dont follow her so im not gonna @

AIIGHT IMMA GO CRAZY WITH THESE SHOTS (with only small one/two sentence captions this is LONG ENOUGH):

BICTH I SAW THIS AND KNEW I WAS GONNA GET GOT™ like its just super duper INCREDIBLY PRETTY TO LOOK AT

THIS WILL BE FOREVER ICONIC™ DONT ARGUE WITH ME

this is what the calm before the storm looks like

went back to the mv film making video and turns out they got slippers on under that table love that for them

how in the hell am i supposed to interpret this exchange

okay longer section i think im supposed to interpret this more as a sister bond than a romantic one?????? i remember being taken aback and believed this to be something gay BUT 99.9% OF INSOMNIAS say its gay subtext so ill just put it like that i dunno but like i just wanna say they have beautiful smiles and im love them!!!

a youtuber reacting to this mv saying it just looks like theyre shading each other.................... anyway-

i CANNOT i repeat I CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU how Shook™ i was when i saw this for the first time i basically jumped out of my chair i couldnt i-

this mv really led me to believe jiu was the evil one.............................

POETIC. CINEMA.

THE WOMAN. THE MYTH. THE LEGEND. THE FIREBENDER. THE WOLF. LEE SIYEON. pls light me up

Symbolism™................ SYMBOLISM I CANNOT COMPREHEND GO TO THE THEORIES

MORE SYMBOLISM GO TO THE THEORIES

T H E M

NOT ONLY IS THIS VIDEO SUPER AESTHETIC™ BUT THE SEVEN (7) MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD BLESSING US ONCE AGAIN WITH THEIR PRESENCE AND ALLOWED THEIR ROYALTY VIBES SHOOT INTO THE MESOSPHERE INTO REAL LIFE KILLING ALL OF US

THE DANCING SCENES WITH THE TEASER OUTFITS...................................... AT EASE.....................

LITERALLY NO COMPLAINTS MOVING ON:

JIU

L I S T E N KIM MINJI YOURE A FULL PRINCESS this pink fluffy dress with the flower crown in this picture............................ i may have cried- like a lot of people were trying this look to persephone and im HERE for that concept for her and like the white outfit AND black outfit is probably super symbolic again im too Big Stupid™ anyway when i saw that black outfit in the teaser........................... i was attacked jiu with a sword is just EVERYTHING i wanted and more

SUA

LITERALLY I CANNOT- her hair being wavy looks SO GOOD on her THIS BLACK DRESS WITH THE FLOWERS she is always a Serve™ WE KNOW THAT but her visuals just HIT DIFFERENT this time lighter colored hair really suits her and then of course she looks FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC in the dance scenes in the white and the black that low pony tail pls

SIYEON

purple on this woman just shoulders and collarbones out being Beautiful™ ALL THE WHILE staying ON BRAND with herself and was wearing pants good for her G O D i just love the way her hair looks in the white and gold outfits like it just LOOKS PRETTY to me i dunno how to describe it also her with a pony tail WHAT ARE YOU SO PRETTY FOR-

HANDONG

i just................... want closer shots of this.................. CLOSER SHOTS IN GENERAL OF HER ACTUALLY like LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL™ SHE LOOKS HERE I WANNA SEE MORE OF IT??????? PLS??????? nothing gets me weaker than her hair being styled exactly like in the picture i just love that her royalty and regal vibes and looks were FINALLY realized and WAS BROUGHT TO THE FOREFRONT

YOOHYEON

THIS MV MUST CONVINCE ME SHE IS EVIL BY SHOWING HER FOREHEAD first of all the first outfit turning her into an Actual Entire Princess™/Queen™ that red one i dont really understand SHE MAKES IT WORK THO THEN THAT BLACK OUTFIT LISTEN yo it was like getting hit by a whole truck full speed i wasnt ready and i just wanna admire that yoohyeon and gray colored hair is an actual match made in heaven i just have to say-

DAMI

i love this suit and the patten on it so much this outfits color (what is that teal????) and her hair color is such a GOOD PAIRING and on her SHE JUST KILLED ME WITH HER SOLO SCENES i wish i had more to say about her and her outfits but what else can i say other than that she is INSANELY ATTRACTIVE AND I WANT HER TO STEP ON ME???????

GAHYEON

she really broke my neck when i saw her the first time LIKE DEADASS LOOK AT THIS PICTURE i had fallen for her and i cannot get up when i saw this outfit in the other shots like the black top and the see through sleeves but her skirt is like different colors she really Served™ in this outfit bangs usually look cute but in her solo parts she was coming for my heart like miss lee gahyeon pls-

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (just short thoughts and point out specific parts i liked lmao)

Intro:

their intros always slap are you kidding me-

The curse of the Spider

i wasnt ready for this bop to slap me in the face on my spotify that chorus didnt have to do that to me THAT GUITAR DIDNT HAVE TO DO THAT TO ME i love the way dami and handong sound in this song i mean wrow-

favorite lyrics (x):

소름이 끼칠 만큼 It’s chilling 도망치고 싶어질 it makes me want to run away 그런 두려움일 테니 such is this fear

Silent Night

B I H C T i knew when i heard this in the highlight it was going to be my favorite one IT REALLY WOKE SOMETHING IN ME these lyrics i cant- gahyeon and handong hurted me with their lower registers Y AL L YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HURTED ME THAT D R O P DID

favorite lyrics (x):

겨눈 칼 끝은 a blade directed at someone 결국 돌아오게 돼 eventually returns 더 다가오지 마 don’t come closer

Polaris

this song is as if i was wrapped in the thickest blanket i got and im resting on the softest bed in the world with a fireplace going nearby and i could finally rest peacefully bc the lord knows i need it- i really cried a little bit listening to this pls leave me be i legit cant pick a specific member i liked the most for this song i just love it and everything it got

favorite lyrics (x):

그게 너라서 행복해 I’m happy that it’s you 그 많은 인연 속에 Among those numerous connections 수많은 사람 중에 Among those numerous people

LIKE im so completely satisfied with every song on this album and im completely in love with it!!!!!!!!!! the only ‘issue’ i really had was with the mv visually but as you read i warmed up to it lmao LIKE IM JUST SO PROUD OF THESE WOMEN AND HOW TALENTED AND HARDWORKING THEY ARE like i have to say the japanese release?????? and this????? being so close to each other????? you telling me they learned TWO (2) different choreographies one after the other???? i absolutely love this album and i desperately desperately DESPERATELY want so much more success for them bc ITS WHAT THEY DESERVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is supposed to be just about the overall mv and deja vu but i might as well just type what i feel lmao

IN CONCLUSION: MY INSOMNIA ASS IS BOTH ALIVE AND DEAD BUT MOSTLY ALIVE I LOVE THIS IM STREAMING

i have to bring this back its relevant again:

#THREE (3) DAYS IN THE MAKING #it took longer bc ive been having the worst stomachaches rn #it probably shows in this post lmao #but anyway Y E A H im love them #LETS GET THIS BREAD #if you read all of this i appreciate you #dreamcatcher #han.txt #han's mv afterthoughts

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everlarkbirthdaygifts · 5 years

Text

Happy Birthday, lettersfromnoone!

Today, we wish a slightly belated Happy Birthday to @lettersfromnoone! We hope you had a wonderful birthday yesterday, and celebrated in style! To bring the party back, @ally147writes has written a story just for you!

Happy birthday for yesterday, @lettersfromnoone. I apologise for the delay in posting your gift. I hope you like this little bit of sci-fi!Everlark; I wanted to do a lot more with the idea (I was having a ton of fun with it!) but it’s well past midnight where I am now, and I have uni meetings all day tomorrow. I may continue this over on AO3 later, though... maybe ;)

Unbeta’d. All errors are my own.

Peeta knows his ship isn’t going to make it much farther without the new pieces for its engine core. The death rattle it’s been making for the last few hundred-thousand kilometres keeps him in a delirious state of panic most nights, wondering if tonight’s going to be the night it just falls out of the air, taking him with it. It’d be easier to start over, stop at one of the more industry-heavy planets — the ones with thick rolls of smoke pouring off the surface like slow, sticky molasses — to hawk his ship for parts and buy a new one to make the long journey back to Earth.

But he’s not going to do that. He’s got a sentimental streak a mile wide. Previous generations of Mellarks have battered the ship in one way or another — hell, between other rebuilds and refits, he can’t even be sure the ship he’s driving now is fundamentally the same as the one his great-great-grandaddy Mellark bartered the last of his coffers for all those years ago. He figures his engine rebuild is just another scar to add to the chassis, his mark from his time on board. His legacy, or something.

So he’s had to seek out the very best, and the very best lives on Panem, a small, darkly corrupt planet on the far edges of the Snow System. Katniss Everdeen, a notorious scavenger with a reputation almost as renowned as her late father’s and spanning the entire quadrant: brilliant, resourceful, and damn handy with a wrench.

And just his luck, she’s also the most terrifyingly beautiful woman he’s seen this side of the galaxy. Dark, wine-stained lips and eyes the colour of new silver coins, an epic scowl and a long, ink-black braid hanging down her back and teasing the waist of her worn leather trousers. Mysterious, alluring, and fuck off all at once.

He sits in a tiny booth obscured by mounds upon mounds of rusted equipment in a massive, illegal open-air market called The Hob. People of thousands different species walk the narrow paths with their hoods pulled low over their faces, conducting their transactions with relative anonymity. Peeta tugs his dark knit hat lower over his curls and sinks even lower into his seat.

“So.” He clears his throat and takes a sip from the cup she offered when he arrived. It’s clear, but not water, smells like it might be flammable and kind of tastes that way as well. “Can you get what I need?”

Katniss Everdeen’s lips split in a mocking smile. “For the right price, I can get just about anything.”

“I have money,” he says, rattling the leather purse concealed in his jacket.

“You have Capitol credits,” she corrects him, leaning forward in her seat. He spies patchy, pink skin like a burn through the gap of the coat at least three sizes too big hanging off her frame. “That type of money is no good here.”

He leans forward, too, matching her. Daring her. “Why the hell not?”

“Too easily tracked.” She shrugs, like it’s just another fact of life. For a planet populated almost exclusively by thieves, pirates, and the downtrodden, it probably is. “Trades are the favoured currency around these parts.”

“Right.” He drags his gaze over a finely polished bow sitting on the wall above her head. “I’m not sure what me and my dying ship have to offer in terms of trade.”

She quirks a brow and leans back, smiling another infuriating smile. “Actually, you and your dying ship are all I need.”

“You want to trade the parts for me and the ship?” He almost laughs. “Darling, your reputation sorely lets you down if you think that’s a trade that even slightly works.”

“Not exactly what I meant, darling.” She spits the word back like it’s poisonous. “I have the parts, and I will even install them for you, too, have your ship’s engine purring like she’s brand new again, I guarantee it.”

“Well, that’s not gonna come cheap,” he snarks.

“Compared to what others would charge, what I’m asking for is dirt cheap and more than fair.”

“You gonna make me pay for all this teeth-pulling, or are you actually gonna tell me what you want?”

She glances, left to right once, twice, three times, before she leans in and whispers, “Passage.” At least, he thinks that’s what she says. There’s so much sound in this place he can hardly hear himself think. “You self-righteous pretty boy. I want passage.”

He swears his brain short-circuits. “You want passage?”

“Hidden passage,” she clarifies, like she’s only asking for a tissue. “I’m a wanted criminal, after all.”

“Where to?”

“I want to go where you’re going. Earth.”

“You want to go to Earth? Give up the empire you’ve built for yourself here?”

“What empire? My tower of stolen merch and a name every peacekeeper in the system is looking out for?” She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, a real legacy.”

“So you’re just looking to get a jump on the cops? I may look like a cherub, but that’s not gonna be easy.”

“I need to get home,” she snaps. “I haven’t… I haven’t seen my baby sister in six years, though she’s definitely no baby anymore, and then there’s my mother, and I…” She swallows and looks away.

“You just want to go home,” he finishes for her, softly. He smiles when she glances up at him. “I can relate.” He lets out a whoosh of breath — is he actually considering this?

He grins, and he can see the exact moment it registers in her that he’s not about to let her have it easy.

“You realise this is an awful big risk for me to take?”

“No bigger than if I wasn’t asking you to smuggle me off the planet. You remember who you’re dealing with, right?”

“Still, hopping the atmosphere with a wanted criminal tucked away in the back… I think you need to sweeten the pot a little, sweetheart. It’s not enough on my end.”

She leans back, crosses her arms. The patchy, pink skin carries down over the tops of her hands. “What, doing the repairs, as well as giving you the parts for free not enough?”

“It’s my ass on the line here.” He holds up his hands. “But, hey, if you’re not willing to even things out a little…”

She glares daggers at him, and is he an awful human being to think it’s ridiculously hot?

“What do you want?”

He shrugs. “I’m sure I’ll think of something being in such close quarters to Katniss Everdeen for the next six months.”

“Why?” she demands.

He shrugs. “I’m a little intrigued by you, I guess.”

She watches him for a long moment. “I don’t like surprises,” she says, the last thing he thought she’d say.

He shakes his head. “You won’t be surprised, I can promise you that.”

He stares her down, refuses to blink. The whole weighing and balancing of the situation plays out over her face like a film. When she reaches her conclusion, that epic scowl comes right back, like it never even left.

“Fine,” she mutters.

“Fine,” he returns cheerfully. “I crashed the ship in the hangar bay by Greasy Saes.”

She groans. “You crashed it, too?”

“I told you the engine’s in rough shape. Be there in an hour. We’ll blow this shitty popsicle stand as soon as you’re done.”

“You’re kind of an asshole, aren’t you, Peeta Mellark?”

“An asshole with a ship and your only way out, Katniss Everdeen, and don’t you forget it.”

#everlark #everlark fanfiction #everlarkbirthdaygifts #everlarkbirthdaydrabbles #fan fic #by ally147writes

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aishahiwatari · 5 years

Text

Reasons: a T-rated McKirk story

featuring Angst (with a happy ending) and James T. Kirk’s self-esteem issues. And a couple of swears.

Also on AO3

“It’s not even worth thinking about, Jim, what’s anyone gonna see in a guy like me anyway.”

It’s not even a question. For a moment Jim is speechless, because it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard and Bones just accepts it. Downs the last of his drink and gets up to use the head with a sigh. Like he’s so sure he’s right, except-

“You know that- that’s not true, don’t you?” Jim asks when Bones returns to his seat, on the couch in Jim’s quarters, only to be regarded with an expression of vague surprise.

“What isn’t?”

“You know that- you could have anyone you wanted. Don’t you?”

The answer, such as it is, just consists of Bones looking at him like he’s gone mad. Jim is sort of concerned he’s fallen into a parallel universe where everyone except for him is an idiot.

“Bones. You’re a catch.”

“Sure, on paper.”

“No! I mean, well, yeah. But not just on paper. Because sure, you’re a doctor and you helped save the planet or whatever, but you’re more than that. You know that.”

Bones pours himself another drink. Jim declines another of his own. He feels like he needs to communicate as clearly as he can. The look in Bones’ eyes is something like a challenge, but Jim never backs down from those.

“I don’t even know where to start- actually, wait, yes I do, because you say it all the time and it really bothers me. The washed-up country doctor thing. You are an amazing doctor. So yes, okay, you got fired from one hospital when you were at literally the lowest stage in your life, battling pretty much all of the worst things anyone can go through. That’s understandable!

“And maybe you did join Starfleet on a drunken whim, but I did it on a fucking dare and I’ll still admit it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Okay, second best, but we’ll circle around to that one. You work so hard every day. You do things most doctors can’t even imagine. You’ve invented techniques that even now are saving lives across the galaxy and don’t you dare say they don’t-” because Bones opens his mouth as though to argue, and then begrudgingly closes it again. “Because I read your mail so I know there’s a Vaynol mother and daughter out there who were saved by your research just yesterday.”

Bones does get a few words in then. “A Vaynol is a breed of cow.”

“Is it? Well, that was a bad example. But my point still stands.”

“And stop reading my mail.”

“I wouldn’t have to if I didn’t have to prove points like these! Next, the divorce. Yes, I know. You see that as a huge personal failing. But you know nobody else does, right? You were so young. Nobody would have blamed you for giving up. But you held on, and you were faithful. Do you have any idea what that means, in times like this? I have never met anybody who would try so hard to keep their relationship going because it was the right thing to do. She screwed you over, real bad, and you still won’t hear a bad word said about her! That respect and loyalty- it’s amazing.”

Bones is silent, watching him. It’s very disconcerting. It means he’s either really listening, or really not.

“And Joanna does not hate you. She misses you. But she’s old enough to understand what you do. She reads every one of your messages, watches every vid you send. And you know she’s somewhere safe. You would never let anything happen to her. She knows that she can talk to you about anything and yeah, maybe it’ll take a couple of weeks for her to get a reply but there always is one. I don’t know if you realise how much that all means.”

Shit. Jim has to blink a few times to clear moisture from his eyes, takes a fortifying sip of his drink because this is turning into so much more than the pep talk he had planned, but he can’t stop yet.

“What else? You’re always telling me you’re old and bitter. Well, I don’t buy it. You act that way, sometimes, but it’s not who you are. You were hurt, and yeah, I know it’s difficult to admit that. But you are also the gentlest person I know. I’ve seen you make an Ensign cry over their own stupidity in one breath and ease another through the treatment for an open fracture in the next. You got Pike through his recovery, listened to every terrible thing he had to say in those months it took us to limp back to Earth. You remember birthdays, even though they’re in everyone’s file. You’ve been talking to Chekov about the panic attacks he thinks I haven’t noticed.

“And you- always know what I need. Do you have any idea how many people, in my entire life, have hugged me? You just care, so damn much. I think you wish you were bitter, because it would make it easier, but- well, I’m sorry. You have saved everyone on this ship, including me, multiple times. And not medically. Although that, too.

“I think that’s most of it. Just one more thing- have you even looked in a mirror recently? Or- ever? Because- holy shit, I am not kidding, you are objectively the most attractive person I have ever met. You are a ten, straight up, and I have no idea how you don’t see it. Okay, that might actually be part of it, in that way that being aware of how attractive you are actually makes you less attractive, case in point-” Jim gestures to himself, gets a quirk of Bones’ brow in response. “And it’s not even the doctor thing, the uniform and the hair and the posture and that face you make when you hate someone but you’re trying not to tell them. You are hot just rolling out of bed or stumbling in from work. Do you want to know the real reason I transferred Yeoman Barnes from Medical to Engineering? He got no work done because he was so flustered around you that he couldn’t even hold a tricorder.

“And as for what’s under the uniform? There are not even words. You should have your own fucking calendar because your body is astounding. How are you slim and broad at the same time?”

Jim takes a deep, reviving breath. He feels light, like he’s just finished a therapy session.

For another moment, Bones is silent. Then he snorts. “You’ve got all that to say, maybe I should be dating you.”

Jim freezes, glass halfway to his mouth, because fuck. He has been desperately obvious, has finally snapped and- “Maybe you should.”

Bones just stares at him. His eyes are wide, beautiful. Jim could have mentioned that too, but even his ridiculous, lovestruck brain apparently recognised it would have been a step too far.

He lowers his glass. His heart is pounding in genuine terror because he could be doing what he has for years promised himself he wouldn’t allow himself to even contemplate. He could ruin everything with those words, could lose his friendship with Bones and a piece of himself along with it.

But even he has to admit there will never be a better moment. He will never again be laid so bare and Bones deserves that, has earned that right to hold Jim’s beating heart in the palm of his hand. Whatever happens next, Jim tells himself, he will be okay with it.

Bones is still staring. Jim only hopes it can be possible that it’s in a good way, lifts his chin but cannot find the confidence to harden his eyes. He lets -makes- himself stay vulnerable instead, has no idea what Bones can see in his face but knows that at least it’s honest.

Every second, another fragment of hope breaks away and dies in Jim’s chest. Jim has never known Bones to have so little to say.

Bones looks shattered, when he finally manages to ask, “Are you asking me out?”

Jim can’t help it, his lips twitch upwards. Of course Bones is just as dense about this as he is about everything Jim’s already had to explain. But his confidence, so usually infallible, is deserting him. Jim has fought to save planets but none of it has carried the weight of what he could be saying in that moment. “Are you saying yes?”

It makes Bones huff, exasperated. “Don’t give me that. Are you asking, or not?”

It’s an out. Jim should take it. “Yes.”

“Why?”

Jim’s heart feels like it’s breaking. It’s so much easier to find words when Bones looks at him like he can’t possibly understand why Jim would want him. “Because I’ve loved you forever.” Jim had thought it would feel good to say it, to set it free, but it hurts, hurts worse than dying and regretting never having said it at all. “Because you’re the only thing that makes my life worth living, some days. I mean everything I’ve said. Anyone would be lucky to have you, and you deserve so much better, but-” Jim has to be honest, has to, even though he hates himself for it. “I want to be selfish with just this one thing. I want you to be mine.”

Tears fall, unhindered, because Jim will not look away, will not miss an instant of the moment that could make or break him, that determines his future. He’ll forever define his life as times with Bones, and without. If he’s honest, he has done for a while now.

“I thought you didn’t believe in love.”

It’s a fair point. Jim manages a watery smile. “I don’t believe in love at first sight. And- I did not love you when you threw up on me. So to say forever, I guess, is hyperbole. It just feels that way because loving you is a part of me that goes so deep it feels like it’s always been there. It makes me better. You make me better. That was- when I said before that Starfleet was the second best thing to ever happen to me. You’re the first.”

Bones is back to staring, confused, surprised, horrified. Jim looks away, then, stares down at the empty glass in his hands. Bones’ is still full. They’re both way too sober to pretend none of this conversation ever happened. It’s probably for the best. In the long-term. Whatever that means.

“Why did you keep this from me?”

It’s valid, of course it is, but Jim wishes Bones would give him an answer instead of more questions. It’s tearing him up inside, not knowing, and he gets a little less hopeful with every moment. With no words to quite sum up his many and varied reasons, Jim settles for gesturing to himself, blotchy and red-eyed and emotional and fucked up as he is, lets that serve as his response.

It doesn’t exactly work. There’s still no answer, but at least Bones’ expression softens and he reaches out with those wonderful, gentle hands to pull Jim into a hug. He’s so solid and warm and Jim has never understood how he can feel so at home in a place he doesn’t feel like he deserves. It might be the last time he ever does. He clings, and he sobs, because he swore he’d never do either of those things with anybody, and Bones just holds him tighter instead of shoving him away like he should. He’s perfect.

“I love you so much,” Jim chokes out without having realised he was going to, because he can’t live with the doubt, the regret, anymore, of Bones not knowing that he is loved, even if it’s only Jim. “I’m sorry.”

“No.” Bones sounds pretty wrung out too, presses his cheek against Jim’s hair. “Don’t you ever apologise for feeling, Jim Kirk. I won’t stand for it.”

Well, how could that do anything but make Jim cry harder? He has never cried in anyone’s arms before; he’s not much of a crier and there were never arms. All he knows is that he can’t lose this.

Bones just holds him, one big hand on the back of Jim’s neck, thumb rubbing through the hair at his nape. It’s soothing, and he doesn’t shush, just waits until Jim has stopped shaking, and then pulls back just enough to look at him. Jim looks terrible, feels worse, but Bones’ soft smile is worth everything.

“We’re going to be a real mess of a couple, you know?”

Jim stops breathing. He’s light-headed before he can get out a stunned, “What?”

“Well, neither of us have exactly dated before. I was married, and you’ve done- whatever it is you do.”

“Did,” Jim corrects, has to. Bones’ gorgeous smile takes on a curious tilt until Jim adds, “I don’t do that any more.”

It’s Bones’ turn to look stunned, although in a good way, Jim thinks. It’s really the least Jim can do, and it’s not like he’s been able to think of anyone but his best friend in years. He’s made token attempts to forget but mostly accepted that Bones is it, for him.

Jim doesn’t know if it’s his words or the way his thoughts show in his expression, but that’s when Bones leans in and kisses him. Even as he somehow finds the coordination to kiss back, Jim whimpers, because it’s all he’s wanted for so long and it’s perfect right down to the taste of bourbon on Bones’ lips. Jim doesn’t deserve this, he never has, but he trusts Bones to decide for him in that moment. What matters is that he feels like a part of himself has slotted into place, filling a void he’d thought he’d have forever. Bones’ lips are warm and soft and he’s close enough that Jim can touch his chest and marvel at finally being allowed, at not having to feel guilt every time he aches to tell Bones he’s beautiful.

It can’t go on for long. Jim’s been crying and he can’t breathe through his nose and he is a complete disaster, but Bones knows that already. He knows Jim better than anyone, and he still wants him. Jim can hardly believe it. He settles back, just far enough away from Bones to be comfortable.

“Also you have great taste in men,” he ventures, and Bones’ fond exasperation is reassuringly familiar. They can do this.

#mckirk #star trek: aos #star trek: alternate original series #james t. kirk #leonard mccoy #my fic

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thievinghippo · 6 years

Text

Fic Update: Mission Zero (2/8)

Fandom: swtor

Pairing: Felix Iresso/Jedi Consular

Rating: Teen

Summary: For five years, Felix Iresso dreamed of freedom. He dreamed of her. Now that his dream is reality, nothing is as he expects. The only way for Felix to move forward is to leave his well-trod path behind. But how?

Content: mentions of depression, vague torture references (but absolutely nothing in detail)

Read on Ao3!

Felix is sitting on his bed, staring at his hands, when there’s a knock on the door.

“Open,” he calls out, already knowing who it is. V’ryss is the only one who visits, which suits him just fine. He doesn’t mind eating in the cafeteria and talking to whoever’s around him. But other than that? He’s been content to let the galaxy leave him alone.

A month has passed since he’s been on Odessen. He’s got to admit he likes the place, especially the wilderness. The energy of the place is contagious. Anyone at the base is there because they want to be. Because they were willing to put their lives on hold and try to make the galaxy a better place. Being a part of that, even one the fringes like he is, helps a lot. Let’s him feel like he’s a part of something again.

Which he desperately needs.

V’ryss walks in, looking tired, but he’s pretty sure she’s hardly getting any sleep these days. Felix thinks back to the Defender, how they would easily fall asleep in each other’s arms after a hard day of work. He misses sleeping next to her. But he’s also not ready to join her in bed. Not yet.

“Finally heard back from the Republic,” Felix says, gesturing towards his holopad. It’s a top of the line model they gave him. Protected security and more features than he can ever use. And he mainly uses it to watch vids. He’s been trying desperately to find another copy of “Squad 223: Mission Zero,” but he hasn’t had any luck. But there are plenty of other vids to watch. He’s got five years of catching up to do.

“You did?” V’ryss asks, sitting down at the foot of the bed, a respectful distance between them. “I’m almost scared to ask what they say. Any chance of backpay?”

Felix chuckles. “Nah, you know the army is full of cheap bastards,” he says, handing V’ryss the holopad with the message. “They want me back, though. Say they need experience soldiers in these complicated times. And they don’t come right out and say it, but I think they’re hoping I’ll spill the dirt on you.”

“Of course they do,” V’ryss says, looking at the holopad. She’s silent for a moment, in that intense Jedi way of hers. The type of silence that tends to make everyone else around her be silent, too. And in those silent moments, Felix tends to have big thoughts. “Have you… Have you decided what you want to do? You know I’ll support you no matter your decision.”

“I know,” Felix says. And he does. It’s nice to have something to be so sure of.

He turns to look at her and every time he does, he’s amazed at just how young she looks. Him? He’s aged twenty years in the last five. He was already older than V’ryss by more than a decade when they met, thanks to the odd way Chiss age. Now he doesn’t even want to think about how much old he looks than her. All because she was locked away in carbonite, taking a force nap while he was being tortured.

Felix looks away, trying to dislodge the anger overwhelming him. It’s not her fault. She would have saved him if she knew, just like he wanted to save her. But it still doesn’t change the thoughts in his head. He thinks back to the one session he’s had with one of the therapists on the base, a miralukan named Q’Lara. She kept saying anger is normal and he needs to accept that he’s angry and figure out why.

But he knows why he’s angry and he’s still not sure now to deal with it. But it’s probably stupid to think he’ll be right in the head after a couple of sessions. Guess it’s a good thing he signed up for weekly ones.

“I’d like to stay with the Alliance,” Felix says. Even if he’s angry with the Alliance sometimes, he knows he can trust them, as long as they’re following V’ryss. “I’m not sure what I can do to earn my keep, so to speak. But I’d like to try.”

V’ryss smiles and that anger he had? Gone. “We’ll figure out something, if that’s what you want.”

“Yeah, it is,” Felix says with a nod. He’s got some skills, other than being a meat shield, and he won’t mind putting them to use.

“Good.” She looks down at the floor and bunches the fabric of her jacket in her fists. Felix waits, knowing she’s about to spring something on him. That’s her classic ‘I have to tell you something’ pose. He’s kinda glad he remembers. “I don’t have time to really talk, I’m afraid,” she says and he knows just by the sound of her voice that she’d much rather be here in his room than what she’s dealing with. “I have to leave the base for a bit.”

“Where to?” Felix asks quietly. He doesn’t like the thought of her being gone or of him being on this base without her.

“A planet called Iokath,” V’ryss says. “There’s a weapon there. A super weapon. Both the Republic and the Imperial Empire are there trying to claim it. I’m needed to try to sort things out.”

“Back to the negotiating table?” Felix asks, thinking of all those meetings she held with the Rift Alliance.

V’ryss lets out a breath. “If I could drag them both to the table, I absolutely would. But our scouts on the planet say that both sides are prepped for war.” She stands and puts her hands on her temples. “The galaxy just ended a war that cost of the lives of millions. I wish people weren’t so anxious to start another one.”

“If anyone can stop them, it’s you,” Felix says and he means it. Far as he’s concerned, she’s the brightest hope this galaxy has.

“Thank you,” V’ryss says and he can hear the gratitude in her voice. “It’s good having you here to believe in me again.”

“I never stopped,” Felix says. It’s true. Even as those sick Zakuulan bastards were doing their worse to him on the torture table, he still never stopped thinking she was alive somewhere out there. And if she was alive, he had no doubt that she was doing good somehow.

V’ryss twists her fingers as a soft smile appears on her face. But as quick as the smile appears, it’s gone. “I guess I wanted to ask if you wanted to come with me,” she says, looking up and meeting his eye. “It’s absolutely your choice. You know I’d never order you to do something you didn’t want to do.”

“I know,” Felix says, and he does. She’s always made sure her people are taken care of. “I think I need more time before I back you up again, Vee. I haven’t fired a blaster rifle since I was captured on Zakuul.”

“I understand,” V’ryss says with a nod.

Felix looks down at his arms. Five years ago he would have been proud to see solid muscle. Now he doesn’t. He hasn’t taken the time to go to the gym since he’s been back. Maybe he should start. Some target practice wouldn’t hurt, either.

“How long will you be gone?” he asks as he stands up off of the bed.

She walks to the door and already he can see there’s more pressure on her shoulders than yesterday. How much is the galaxy asking of her, anyway? “A week, maybe? Maybe more? It’s two days of travel to get there. Then I’m assuming we’ll need at least a couple of days to calm everyone down. Then time again to come home.”

Home. She says the word so easily. The Defender was the last home he had. Before that, he had nothing. Not when he was transferred from one posting to the next. And before that? Refugee camps don’t really count. He wouldn’t go back there for all the credits in the galaxy. Hopefully one day, he’ll be able to see Odessen as home, too. Probably not for a while yet. One day.

“I’ll miss you,” Felix says as he follows her to the door. And he most certainly will. She’s the one constant he’s had since coming to the planet. “Can we still message?”

V’ryss turns around and leans up against the side of the door. “I’d like that. Especially during travel days. Our system is actually pretty good about communicating real time across the galaxy. So we can talk, too. If you want, of course.”

“Wouldn’t mind that at all. It’s good telling you ‘good night’ again,” Felix says.

It’s quiet around them, now, and he knows this is the time he should swoop down for a kiss and whisper a sweet nothing in her ear. Felix used to be the champ of sweet nothings, but right now, nothing is all he’s got. Even if he doesn’t want to kiss, he still wants to do something. So he reaches out for her hand and hopes he doesn’t flinch away when they touch.

He doesn’t.

She grips his hand tight, but not too tight. Nothing uncomfortable. And he’s not feeling uncomfortable, either, but that might be because she’s wearing gloves right now. Whatever it is, it feels good to have her hand in his. It feels better than good. It feels right.

“Be safe out there, okay?” Felix says, squeezing her hand.

“I’ll do my best,” V’ryss says. She takes a breath. “I love you, Felix.”

He thinks back to the last time she went off somewhere and he didn’t follow, on Darth Marr’s ship. A thousand times a day after he understood she wasn’t coming back from that trip, he tried to remember the last time he told her he loved her. And Felix was heartbroken to realize he couldn’t remember. He’s not letting that happen again. “I love you, too.”

With a nod, V’ryss palms the console to the door and walks out of the room, leaving Felix alone.

“Iresso?”

Felix gives the punching bag one last knee, before turning around towards the voice. He’s been beating the shit out of the bag, as best as he can in his weakened state, and for good reason. V’ryss has been gone for ten days now, and he hasn’t heard from her in more than thirty-six hours. When he couldn’t take her silence anymore and got a hold of Lana Beniko, all she told him was V’ryss had been injured, but she would recover.

An injury shouldn’t keep her from talking to him, so of course his brain’s gone to the extreme, that V’ryss is dead and they’re just waiting to tell him in person. Fuck, he needs to hear from her. And soon. But now someone wants to talk to him, so he pushes the worry aside. For now.

“Yeah, who’s asking?” Felix says. It takes a moment to place the Cathar standing in front of him, someone he assumed he would never see again in this life time. “Lieutenant Jorgan?”

Jorgan nods. “Made it to Major before I managed to piss off the Republic enough for them to kick me out,” he says, holding out his hand. “Good to see you, Sergeant.”

Felix holds out his hand, covered by a boxing mitt. Jorgan taps it with his own fist. “I’ve got my discharge papers. No more ranks for me,” he says.

Jorgan looks at the punching bag. “You working out?”

“Just finishing up,” Felix says. Funny how life works. When he and Jorgan served together, he couldn’t stand the man. Now, seeing someone from his past? Someone who remembers him before what Zakuul’s done to him is exactly what he needs. “You want to sit down for a minute?”

“I’d like that,” Jorgan says. “Be good to catch up.”

They head to the small sitting area just outside the base gym. No matter the time of day, there are always plenty of water bottles, protein bars, and fresh fruit out for the taking. He grabs a bottle of water and a protein bar while Jorgan grabs a piece of purple fruit Felix doesn’t recognize.

“Cheers,” Jorgan says, holding up his water bottle.

Felix lets out a snort as he taps his own bottle next to Jorgan’s. This was a man who couldn’t take a joke more than twelve years ago. Also a man who Felix assumed would never change. Maybe he was wrong.

“I thought I saw you a couple of days ago, but I wasn’t sure,” Jorgan says after taking a drink of water. “You new to the Alliance?”

Felix raises his brows, surprised at the question. Then again, Jorgan never was never one to listen to gossip. “Thought everyone heard my story by now.” Kinda nice to find probably the one person who hasn’t heard yet.

“I’ve been on Zakuul these past couple of weeks, working with a group trying to become a militia,” Jorgan says with a shrug. “Haven’t really had a chance to catch up yet. Must be a hell of a story if everyone’s heard it.”

“Nah, not that impressive,” Felix says. He tries to to keep his voice light. But Jorgan’s a soldier, he’ll see through the bluster, and hopefully will have the tact not to dig in too deep. It’s what Felix would do if their situation was reversed. “Got caught in a trap on Zakuul five years ago and got myself placed in a POW camp. The Alliance rescued me less than a month ago.”

Jorgan stills and that only tells Felix the man has some experience with those types of camps. “Least you got out. Not everyone’s so lucky.”

Staring down at his hands, Felix thinks of the worst days in camp, the days when he desperately hoped he wouldn’t get out, that he would die right then and there. “Suppose you’re right,” he says.

“Not to belittle what you went through, but why is someone coming to Odessen from a POW camp a big deal?” Jorgan asks, raising a brow. “I can name a half a dozen soldiers off the top of my head who did the same thing.”

Felix takes a sip of water to waste a bit of time. “They’re happy for Vee, that’s all.”

“Are you speaking about the commander?” Jorgan asks, crossing his arms over his chest. “V’ryss? No one calls her that.

“I’m allowed,” Felix says, trying not to smirk. “The commander’s my girlfriend.”

Recognition crosses Jorgan’s face. “You know, I heard her partner was a Republic soldier who was MIA. Didn’t put two and two together. Definitely good to have you back. She’s missed you a whole hell of a lot.”

Talking about V’ryss sets off a panic in his stomach, worrying if she’s actually recovering from that injury like Beniko said, or if she’s actually worse. There’s absolutely nothing he can do to change what’s already happened, so he tries to push the panic aside. “I missed her a whole hell of a lot, too.”

An awkward silence settles over the table and Felix tries to think of something to say. They served together more than twelve years ago. He can’t remember any personal facts about the man, like if he has a partner or any sort of family. He can’t even remember what Jorgan liked to do off-duty. But if Felix remembers right, Jorgan was one of those officers who never actually let themselves go off duty.

“So now that you’re here, what have you been up to?” Jorgan asks as he starts to cut into his piece of fruit with his claws.

Felix sighs, thinking of everything he’s done this past week. What he should do, what he needs to do is get to a practice range and get in some target practice. Then if V’ryss wants him backing her up, he’ll be ready. But somehow he’s always found something else more important to do.

He wrote his sister and she was thrilled to hear from him, since the Republic told her he was dead. Found out she and her wife adopted a toddler a couple of years ago and just like that, Felix has a six-year old nephew. He’s determined to be the best long-distance uncle he can possibly be. Especially since he’s got no idea if kids are in the cards for him and V’ryss down the road.

Took a while to find Milo, but eventually Felix tracked him down. He’s in an institutional facility now and it sounds like he’s getting the help he needs, even after all these years.

He told V’ryss about his sister and Milo but what he didn’t tell her was he searched for the lady doctor, too. For Doctor Sarah Frey. Felix isn’t sure why he did. It’s a box that should have stayed closed and he did himself no favors by trying to pry it open. Not that it really matters. Apparently she was killed during Zakuul’s invasion of Korriban, where she was studying.

So stupid to even look. He thought he was over that, but the past five years gave him a lot to think about. And some thoughts weren’t too kind to that doctor. He probably should bring that up some time during one of his therapy sessions.

The rest of the time he’s been walking and trying to get in some workouts. Not nearly the glamorous life, but it’s better than what he had.

“Not much, to be honest,” Felix says, pleased with how casual the words sound out loud. “Suppose I should try to find to do to pitch in.”

“You know, I was just talking to the quartermaster,” Jorgan says. “He’s looking for some logistical help. You were pretty damn good at logistics if I’m remembering right.”

“Yeah, I was,” Felix says. Back when he and Jorgan served, Felix thought it was the most boring job on Ord Mantell. But Jorgan’s right. He was pretty good at it. And right now? Boring sounds just about perfect. “Thanks, man. I’ll check that out”

Jorgan nods. “Ex-army Pubs need to look out for each other.” He takes a sip of water. “Now let me tell you about the mission I served with the commander.

“This I’ve got to hear,” Felix says, settling back in his chair. “I want to know everything.”

Conversation comes easy after that.

#swtor #felix iresso #v'ryss hindemith #hippo writes fanfiction #oh look #I managed to include aric jorgan #in a consular fic #my aric jorgan obsession is strong

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