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sissytobitch10seconds · 3 months

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Febuwhump 26: Tear Myself Apart

Fandom: Grishaverse: Six of Crows and Shadow and Bone Summary: Nina would do just about anything to protect what she sees to be hers. Warnings: Major character injury, war, graphic depictions of violence, and implied character death Word Count: 3,585 Ship(s): Matthias Helvar/Nina Zenik/Inej Ghafa/Kaz Brekker/Wylan Van Eck/Jesper Fahey

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“Nina! You have to help them!”

Zoya’s voice ripped through her mind in a matter of seconds. She had been standing on the edge of the sick tent with her entire body frozen in place. It was like a vine had wormed its way around her ankle and over the rest of her leg to keep her in place, she physically hadn’t been able to make herself move. The only thing that she could do was stare directly ahead at the mess of bloodied, beaten bodies that were crowded around the cots.

She had known that this was what she was going to be getting into when she signed up for this. She had to remind herself that this was what war really looked like, not the paintings that they were shown when they were walking through the halls of their school. There was going to be no firebird flying over the dead bodies of the Fjerdans that had tried to attack the village on the edge of their borders. There was going to be no saint that would come by and touch them to heal their wounds so they could fight again.

She had to be the thing that put these people back together, even if they were all her partners.

The voice snapped through her body so that she was suddenly in motion. There would be no stopping her until the task was done once she had gotten moving. Zoya knew that, which was why she had snapped at her in that way anyways. It was the reason that Nina and Zoya had been able to work together better than Nina had with Genya.

She stepped up to the first cot and then grabbed the kit that was offered to her by one of the students. She tried not to pay attention to the way that Inej’s brow was placid but the rest of her face was contorted in pain. She carried every inch of burn and hurt in the way that her eyes scrunched shut and how her jaw became clenched tightly. “I’m here, love, you’re going to be okay,” Nina said, but even she didn’t believe it. The waver in her voice was stronger than the shaking of her left hand, the one holding the kit.

Nina set the medical supplies that she needed down on the bed and then closed the kit so that she could drop it down next to her feet. She reached down to Inej’s shirt and lifted it up so that she could see the grizzle wound leaking blood all over the bedding she was on top of. It was a stab wound about as long as Nina’s finger and piercing all the way down to the bone within. That wasn’t something that they saw commonly with the Druskelle, not since they had developed the smoke bombs that obscured vision enough that they could shoot without hindrance.

She knew how to deal with knife wounds regardless since blades were still favored by the Kaelish and the Shu, however. She reached for the water bottle that she was offered and then used it to douse the sterile gauze she had pulled from the packet. She then swiped it over Inej’s torso to get rid of some of the blood, so that she could better assess the wound. When Nina was finally able to see it, she had to wonder if the Shu were actually working together with the Fjerdans because no cut that clean could have come from a Druskelle.

The thought crossed her mind as quickly as it left and she was refocused back on getting her girlfriend into living condition. “I don’t have anything to pack it with for the pain,” Nina called into the tent, only to be ignored. She had always heard of people running out of things to help medically, but she had supposed that pain medication was going to be one of those thins that was used with a bit more forethought. It turned out that she had a lot more to learn about warfare than she had originally thought.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she whispered as she plunged her fingers down into the wound in Inej’s side. She had to close her eyes in the attempts to block out the scream that the other woman let out. She knew that the nerves were already on fire, she could feel the signals that they were sending up to Inej’s brain to let her knew that what was happening shouldn’t have been. There was nothing that she could do, though, not if she wanted the other woman to live.

Nina traced her fingers along the base of the skin on the other side of the cut so that they knit themselves back together to become one. They would scar and be very ugly, but at least the veins there had stopped bleeding. She had to slowly draw her fingers back up until she had gotten about half of the blood vessels and other severed items pushed back together.

She felt a pair of hands grasp her shoulders and then shove her out of the way with a single swift movement. “Zoya!” she squawked when she saw that it was the very same mentor that had told her to do this in the first place. She hadn’t wanted to plunge her own fingers that deep into her girlfriend, to know what Inej’s life force felt like most intimately, but she had anyway. Fury was rushing through her now that she was distracted from her work. She knew that almost none of it had anything to do with Zoya and what she was doing but rather with what she had been forced to do. Her hands were slick with Inej’s blood and her girlfriend’s cries of pain were still ringing loud in her ears.

“You’re too slow, move onto someone else so that Ghafa doesn’t die,” Zoya replied.

Nina opened her mouth to argue but clamped it shut. She as petulant and a bit of brat, difficult to work with because of her arrogance about her own abilities. She knew that now wasn’t the time to let that part of her personality shine through. She had been given an order from a superior officer during a time of crises, so she had to follow it. Zoya was also originally in the same order as Inej, so the two of them had more things connecting them together on a comfort level than Nina did. She was only a Grisha and dating the other girl, not a Squaller and a Suli woman.

She turned on her heel and then moved onto the next cot. Wylan was sitting up and grasped the bottom of his leg, which was coated with a thick white pigment that she had never seen before. “What happened?” she asked as she looked him over. She reached for the medical kit that had already been placed at the end of the bed just so that she would have something to do.

“I- one of the bombs that I made misfired and it got all over me. This stuff is kind of like napalm, I’m terrified it’s going to go off and start eating through my skin,” his voice was shaky and scared as he spoke. His entire body was quivering with the force of his fear, but his hands were steadfastly in the same place that they had been before. Nina was able to see after a moment that he was keeping it in place with his powers, pushing it back and down every time the throbbing material tried to get further up his skin.

“How do we get rid of it?” she asked. She held out a gloved hand, one of the garments made with the rubber material that was supposed to be disposable and far more sterile than cloth, towards him.

Wylan yanked himself back and shook his head. “I need Kuwei or Jesper to help me. Kuwei knows how to burn it off without burning my skin and Jesper has been helping me make it in the lab, so he knows how it works. Now you have to leave me alone, I really need to focus on this.”

She opened her mouth once more to object, but she found that there was nothing she could say that wouldn’t make her seem like a child that was throwing a fit. Wylan knew best what was going to help him with the specific problem that he had accidentally created because he was one of two people that really knew how it worked. Despite how much she wanted to be able to alleviate the pain that was plaguing him, she knew that she was one again useless.

The best thing that she could do was move onto the next partner, who was on the other cot next to Wylan. She carried the medical kit with her as she tried to keep her tears inside of her eyes. The last thing any of them needed was for her to be crying when she was trying to mend them, not only because it was unsanitary but because it would upset them when they were already in so much pain.

Matthias was hunched up on the cot, one of his hands nestled against his chest. She could see that he was slowly drawing the water in the air towards the end that was holding his arm so that he could cool down the wound and ease some of the pain. “What happened?” she asked as she began to unpack the medical kit.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard Trassel give a rough noise from underneath the bed. The Isenulf had been Matthias’ most trusted companion since he had arrived at the Little Palace a couple of years ago. The poor wolf had blood caked into the white fur around his maw and was cradling his own foot close to his body. She was going to have to get a look at him as soon as she had stopped the other Grisha from dying.

“I got bit by one of the Isenulf,” Matthias bit out. He turned so that he was facing towards her, offering his arm out to her. The blood had streaked on his white shirt, his blue kefta hanging open to reveal the peasant roughspun underneath that had been damaged from the fighting. She noticed that he hadn’t moved the hand that was supporting his arm, likely to continue to do his trick to dull the pain. She had seen him do it with wounds that were far smaller back when they were training.

“Right,” she nodded. She sat down on the edge of the bed and then placed his arm down into her lap so that she could examine the wound a bit closer. She had to brush her fingers over every single individual tooth mark so that she could make sure none of the bone had chipped off and wormed its way into the flesh where she couldn’t see. Then she had to do it again so that she could draw out the infected blood which carried more white than red blood cells. She had never been officially trained as a healer, she only had the cross training that all Heartrenders got now that Queen Alina had changed the way that the Second Army worked.

She had been so focused on the work that she was doing, trying to get the wound healed while using her spare hand to numb the nerves further up his arm, that she hadn’t noticed the commotion outside the tent. “Nina! We need you over here!” Fedyor called as he walked in with a very unconscious, very limp Kaz in his arm.

She sprang from the bed, forgetting that she had been holding onto Matthias’ arm. The infection was only half out and there was a lot more work that had to be done, but she could already see the way that Kaz’s leg was contorted in a shape it never should have been. He already had problems with his joints at time, so this was very bad.

Guilt washed over her like the waves of an enraged ocean sinking a Druskelle ship when she heard the grunted noise of pain Matthias released. She collapsed back down onto the bed beside him and reached out for her powers again. She felt like she was digging into the dirt to get to the water of her power, like the well had gone dry and she was pulling from the spring next to it that was far less refined. She could do it, but it took so much more energy than it had originally.

“Lay him down on the bed and I’ll get to him when I’m finished with Matthias,” she said. The words felt like she was leaving her boyfriend to die, but she knew that if she didn’t help Matthias then there was a chance that he was going to be far more hurt than he already was.

“What’s wrong with him?” Fedyor asked.

“He has a wolf bite. I’ve already got a bit of the infection out,” she explained. She didn’t know what kind of sick bastard would actively coat their wolf’s teeth in poison so that when they bit, they tore the skin and tainted the blood at the same time. She had to get it out of him before it spread further and he had to spend months fighting it off, even with the help of a proper Healer.

“That’s way to refined for you. Switch with me,” Fedyor said.

Nina tried not to show on her face how much this was affecting her. She knew that she wasn’t the most skilled when it came to her powers, but she was better than some yearling. She could kill someone or manipulate their very glans after only briefly seeing them on the battlefield. But none of that mattered when she was supposed to be a spy, when she was supposed to be able to heal the people she was with that got hurt or change their appearances so they didn’t get caught again.

She didn’t have to skill to do any of those things, so when she was in that situation she was shipped between things that she would do mediocrely until someone that was better came to take over. It was exactly what was happening now, but she was also having to deal with the fact that it was her partners that she was failing to save.

Instead of focusing more on the brutal feelings that were eating her from the inside out, battling with the exhaustion from focusing on something that hard, she rose and walked over to Kaz. “I’m going to touch you,” she told him plainly as she reached down and then shucked off his trousers. She would have cut them, but she didn’t want to waist time trying to find a knife so that she could get at his lower leg. She placed both of her hands on him, one over his ankle and the other on his knee.

A massive burst of power was going to be required to help him. She could feel where the bone had split down the middle, which would account for the strange shape. It had cut through some of the muscle and tendons, but it had also splintered and then sliced through the nerves next to his knee. “Kaz, hold still,” she instructed. He gave her a shaky nod and then moved his glassy brown eyes to stare up at the ceiling. She saw his gloved hands move down to the bed beside him, clenching at the stained sheets so that he could deal with the pain.

She scraped lower into the water beside the well as she pulled mud filled bucket after mud filled bucket up to the surface. It wasn’t as good as a Healer, but it was enough that she would be able to stop the wound from worsening at least a little bit.

She pushed down with the handle on his ankle and up with the hand on his knee so that the bone got back into place. She sped up some of the healing so that she didn’t have to set it. He wouldn’t be able to put a single bit of pressure on the appendage until they got it healed the rest of the way, though. She then began to work on searching for the bone, before she felt another person bump her out of the way.

Outside of being hurtful, being shuffled from job to job was also becoming annoying. If she could just focus on one person then she wouldn't have to wrack her mind for something that she hadn’t learned enough of every single time. Her powers were draining her, in addition to having to figure out a new thing every time she moved to another cot.

There was absolutely no arguing with Ivan, though. He barely spoke since he came back from working for the Darkling, many years ago, but he was still just as powerful without any of his words. Nina dropped her hands from Kaz’s leg and then made her way over to the last cot. She saw that Jesper was laying there, his face contorted with pain and his hand over his shoulder.

“What happened?” she asked as she reached for the medical pack on the ground.

“I got shot,” he ground out. “And as much as I would love to flirt with you while you stitch me up, I can’t get this blasted bullet out.”

“I’m a Heartrender, I’m here to help you, not to flirt,” she retorted. She would have thought that Jesper, of all of her partners and mentors, would have been the one to trust her abilities. He had in the past, when they were sneaking into homes to steal Grisha children before they could be murdered or seducing their way into the homes of upper class Kerch Merchants.

She batted his hands away with one of her own and then placed it over his shoulder. She could feel the cold iron sunk low in his heated skin, around the blood. It was a familiar sensation due to the amount of the metal that was already in someone’s blood, but it was such a concentrated version of it that she wasn’t going to be able to draw it out herself. She focused instead on the structures around it, what it had cut. She used the broken tendons and nerves to pass the bullet slowly up and out of his flesh.

It was something that she had only ever heard about, never seen it done before. She knew that it took the utmost focus and deliberate movements, something that she had always struggled with. She could vaguely hear Jesper shouting and screaming as she played with the parts of his body to draw out the bullet, but she wouldn’t let herself fully acknowledge them. If she broke her focus then it would recede back into him and all of the progress that she had just managed would be gone.

She felt a hand on her wrist just as she got the bullet out, and then she was pushed away from him. Her hands were coated in the blood of four people that she loved with the last now struggling so badly that his entire body was shaking to try and keep the poison in place. Nina turned around and looked over the tent, trying to assess where she was most needed.

There was nowhere. Each bed had someone that was more capable than her, more tender than her, caring for her partners. She was useless when she was in there, so she had to leave so that she could find a better place to put herself to use. The battle was still waging outside of the healers tent, which was something that Nina could actually handle. She could feel the glowing exhaustion that came with over using her powers pulling at her but she ignored it. She had other things to do, this wasn’t something that she could be anything but exceptional at.

People were swarming around each other as they tossed down Fjerdans with wind, water, and huge arcs of fire. She could see Heartrenders in the distance bringing others to their knees or healing the people that they could see. Even the Durasts and the Alkemi were using the earth and bombs to take down some of the forces.

Nina charged into battle without a second thought. She could see a group of Druskelle with their fearsome battle horses coming up around the back of the group that was fighting alongside the General, so she brought her hands up and stopped the animal’s heart. She felt bad for having to do so, but there was no other way that she could save the lives of her friends.

“Get the witch!” the commander shouted as he got off of the beast that he had been riding, pointing towards her. Nina placed her hands out in front of her body just as her eyes began to sag. She tried to push back the waves of black that were threatening to overcome her, to cling to the last bit of energy that she had, but there was nothing.

She felt the hands of the Druskelle taking hold of her before everything faded out.

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extinctcoder600 · 10 months

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Yooo who in the grishaverse would be the funniest stoner? Ivan? Baghra? Vasily?

#grishaverse #grishaverse Baghra #grishaverse Ivan #grishaverse Vasily #Grishaverse Nikolai #Aleksander Morozova #zoya nazyalensky #kaz brekker #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #nina zenik #matthias helvar #genya safin #david kostyk #grishaverse feydor

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starlessmistake · 8 months

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The General and his Heartrender

#aleksander morozova #ivan #shadow and bone #the grishaverse #grishaverse #my edit #my gifs #i miss ivan so much #s2 wasn't the same without him #aleksander x ivan #is there anything sexier than a lord and his squire?#these men have definitely explored eachothers bodies

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kasagia · 6 months

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❄️️Warm my heart pt. 1❄️️

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/ The Darkling x fem! heartrender! reader Summary: December. Everyone in the Little and Grand Palaces is excited about the upcoming holidays. Only the Black General seems rather... depressed. Like every year when these holidays are coming closer. Maybe this year, since you've been promoted to his second-in-command, you can make the general's holidays a little more enjoyable? And you're not doing it because you're in love with him and you want to see him finally careless happy... not even a little bit. Nonsense from me: A spontaneous Christmas mini-series. We'll see how it develops... I hope you will like it 🩵🖤 P.S. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I don't know if there's any equivalent to our Christmas… let's just say there is and I'll try to find out to be sure😅 Word Count: 3k Taglist: @aoi-targaryen ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 2 ~•♤♤♤•~

"Oh saints, I'm freezing here." Fedyor complains as he walks next to you through the snowdrifts.

"Don't be such a grump." you say, adjusting your black fur coat that protects your neck from the cold wind. You look at the sky. The clouds were swirling above you, and the snow was still falling. In moments like these, you kind of wish you were Inferni.

"Grumpy? We had been walking around, searching for this stag, the whole day. I start to doubt if that tracker can find it."

"That tracker had seen it." Mal's voice is coming behind you. You turn to see him helping Alina walk through the snow. "It had to go somewhere to await the snowstorm."

"We should do the same." you tremble as you hear General's right behind you. You feel his warm body and beating heart before he stands next to you. "It's getting worse with each hour. We should go back to camp." he says, looking at Ivan.

"Yes, sir." Ivan who came with him nods to him and looks at the rest.

All of you are following him. You see Zoya and the general talking to him about something in the front. Mal and Alina whisper something quietly to each other. The tracker looks distrustfully at the three Grishas in front of him. You decide to stay with Fedyor a little after them.

"Lovers' quarrel?" you ask him as you see him trying to stay as far away from Ivan as he can. He also has not looked at him even once since you all got together after hours of searching Morozova's stag.

"You can say that. I want to go on holiday with my family and take him with me. He refused... well, it's putting it mildly."

"He needs time. I'm sure he will gladly come with you to meet your cousins and siblings." you defend him.

You know very well that Ivan wasn't necessarily eager to leave the Little Palace. He rarely saw his family. Like you, he didn't have many... people in his family who accepted him as Grisha. Fedyor was lucky to have someone to write letters to and visit during the holidays. Ivan was also more conservative; he did not engage in closer relationships with people, except for his fiancé.

Just like someone else you know...—you think, staring at the back of the general's head.

Snowflakes fall on his black kefta, making it even harder for you to take your eyes off him. You stopped counting the number of times you just wanted to go up to him, run your hand through his hair, hug him while simultaneously hiding in his black kefta, or kiss those temptingly soft lips that gave orders to thousands of soldiers.

The beating of his heart has become wonderful music for you to work with since you somehow became his second-in-command and started to spend more time with him in the war room.

It also worsened your crush on him… but it was a sacrifice you could bear for the sake of Ravek and Grishas.

"I hope so. I haven't seen them for a year. I wanted to finally introduce Ivan to them. Especially after our engagement." he sighs sadly, staring blankly at the footprints in front of you. You look at him sympathetically. As you notice snowflakes gathering on his shoulder, you think of an idea to make him laugh and maybe feel a little better.

You stand for a moment and bend down to your shoe, pretending to try to tie it. Fedyor stops and waits for you, his eyes patrolling the area and the forest surrounding you. You weren't that far from the capital, but some of Drüskelle's unit could always show up. You take advantage of his moment of inattention, form a snowball, and throw it at him.

You laugh quietly as the snowball hits his back. Fedyor gives you a surprised look before smirking and accepting the challenge. You silently throw snowballs at each other from behind, trying to stay silent enough so that no one notices what you two are doing.

At one point, you dodge a snowball thrown by Fedyor, causing it to hit Alina. The Sun Summoner turns towards you and lets out a small huff of laughter as he sees the two of you covered in snow. He nudges Mal with his elbow, and soon the four of you are left far behind the others, throwing snowballs at each other.

You laugh as you form teams against each other. You and Fedyor do quite well against them... at least until, instead of throwing a snowball at Mal's face, you manage to hit General Kirigan, who seems to have noticed your absence and come back to find you.

You all freeze, watching the snow fall from his face onto the kefta. Beside him, Zoya tries her best not to burst out laughing. Ivan, on the other hand, gives the four of you an irritated, disbelieving look.

"Ten minutes… we can't let you out of our sight for ten minutes," Kirigan says, wiping his face with a handkerchief and brushing away the remaining snow from his face.

"Our apologies, General." Fedyor says, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his face straight.

"Whose genius idea was it?" he asks, hiding his handkerchief and brushing off the excess snow from his black coat. To no avail, judging by the snow still falling on you. But that didn't change the fact that he was as intimidating as he was in any setting.

You see Alina take a breath to take the blame, but you cut her off before she could. "My, sir. I wanted to lighten the mood. I apologise; it won't happen again. We won't delay our return."

Your remorseful look and tone of voice make him relax. His stern gaze softens, and you can practically hear Fedyor teasing you about it.

"Just don't get left behind." he says and turns on his heel, leading you all again back to the camp.

Zoya stares at you, surprised at how smoothly you managed to pull off something like insulting the general of the Second Army by throwing a snowball at his face. However, she quickly comes back to her senses and tries to catch up with the general to talk to him about something. Ivan, on the other hand, just shakes his head and wordlessly follows the Black General like his shadow.

"Seriously? If it were me, he'd tear me apart just by looking at me," Mal grumbles to himself.

"Don't worry so much. He would do it to anyone. He has a soft spot only for Y/N. Well, and maybe Alina, since she is one-of-a-kind." Fedyor says quietly and pats him on the back. Alina snickers and takes Mal's arm as they both follow the trail of the three Grishas. You roll your eyes at your dear friend's words.

"Stop it. It's ridiculous. Don't even insinuate something like that. With Zoya and Alina in the picture, I mean nothing more to him than a soldier, his second-in-command. At best, a friend."

"Sure. The beating of his heart every time you look at him is an obvious clue that this is the case. Besides, you've seen yourslef. You are the only one who can hit him with a snowball and stay safe and sound. He didn't even raise his voice at you. The two of you are so damn obvious and so damn stubborn that even if you ended up in bed together, you both would consider it an accident."

"Oh, shut up." he laughs, hitting me on the arm with his.

"What? Why do you think he made you stop your training as a healer and decide for you to be a heartrender instead of making you a main healer? You would have stuck in an infirmary far away from him. That way, he sees you often, plus you have black embroidery on your kefta." he says and winks suggestively. You huff in amusement, shaking your head.

"You are ridiculous. We work together. That's all. There's nothing more between us. At best, it's camaraderie. Besides, he can have anyone."

"But he wants you. Do you think he gives flowers to everyone on Women's Day? Or does he buy birthday gifts? Does he even remember about someone's birthday?" you blush, you feel your cheeks turn the bloody color of your kefta and it's not because of the cold.

"I remember him wishing Ivan a happy birthday." you mutter under your breath.

"Because he was standing next to us when I gave this idiot a gift." he says, obviously still angry at his fiancé.

"Give it up. Him and I—it's not going to happen. He's a womanizer. Zoya is not his first mistress. And I am definitely not his type or league."

"Well, now that you've brought it up... little birdie told me that he cut off all non-Army relations with her. And guess when? When you became his second-in-command. And guess who he pushes away, despite the fact that she's desperately trying to get back into his bed?"

"It does not matter. He probably has his eyes on Alina and wants to make a good impression."

Fedyor groans in annoyance at your response. Before you know it, you're back at camp, with no trace of the rest of your companions. The man next to you sighs in frustration and runs a hand through his hair.

"If you keep fighting it for so long and denying it, which makes no sense by the way, then yes. He'll find someone else. Take the opportunity before you regret it. Christmas is coming! Maybe some miracle will happen that will make you both see that you have to end together, because only saints can make the two of you see things together, you stubborn donkeys." he says and leaves you alone, going saints know where.

You sigh, walking back to your tent. However, before you strip off the layers of clothes that protect you from heat loss, you notice that you have no firewood. You go back to the forest and collect twigs and small logs of wood that you can use to light a fire at night.

You go back to camp, dragging a small wood sled behind you. You think about Fedyor's words and whether they might actually turn out to be true. You blush as you remember the countless late nights spent in the war room talking to the general about plans, reports, new recruits, or just drinking his kvass with him and talking about anything and everything. It's true, you were close... but would you be willing to jump in and risk everything—your entire career and the life you created in the Little Palace—to try to be more to him than just one of his soldiers? Especially when he could have had a Sun Summoner?

Lost in your thoughts, you don't notice familiar, dark shadows starting to swirl behind you. You scream in shock, both from the feeling of someone suddenly pulling you into his chest and from the fact that the skin on your neck and face meets the icy snow.

General Kirigan's laughter, the familiar scent of his cologne, and the warmth emanating from him calm you enough to realise that you are not in the arms of anyone dangerous. Well... if a shadow summoner could be considered such. But the coolness of the snow he rubs into your face and neck effectively shakes you from thoughts of him as you try to fight back.

He chuckles and holds you tighter with one hand as you kick and struggle in his arms.

“A good soldier knows when to surrender, Y/N.” he whispers into your ear, clearly amused. His silky tone of voice was as mischievous as it was slightly defiant and dangerous. "Shouldn't you have enough honour to obediently endure the punishment of your general?"

"Punishment? What for?" you ask as you manage to wipe the snow off your face enough to keep it from sticking in your mouth as you speak.

"Do you think I would let your little stunt get away with it? I wonder if you can still throw so accurately with snow in your kefta…" he says, slowly scooping up more snow and guiding his hand with it under your coat.

"NO!" you scream, amused and scared at the same time.

You use your powers to stun him for a moment and pull yourself out of his arms. You don't get very far, though. His shadows chase after you, and he keeps you tightly against his chest again. You struggle with him so much that you both fall screaming into a large snowdrift.

You land on top of him, blushing furiously as you realise this. The snow around you cools you a little, and you start to feel the cold seep into your bones despite everything.

"Armistice?" you ask him, your hand full of snow ready to attack.

He chuckles, amused, which only makes your smile widen. You had rarely seen him so… carefree. Especially now that he was so focused on finding Morozova's stag.

"For now. I will still look for my revenge." you whine, dissatisfied.

"It was only one snowball, Aleksander. I wasn't even aiming at you!" you protest. You squeak, surprised, as he switches, so now he is on top of you. A dangerous smile played on his face as he looked at you with a mischievous spark in his dark eyes.

"You think so?" he asks with a cheeky smirk, the hand holding the snow coming dangerously close to the buttoms of your kefta under your coat.

"All right, you won! Please don't. I'm freezing."

He frowns when he hears that you are cold. He lets go of the snow and wipes his hand on his coat before touching your cheek. He sighs, feeling how cold you are. He stands up first and helps you up, still watching you carefully.

"Let's go back to the camp. I wouldn't want my second-in-command to get sick because she decided to play in the snow" he says, and you blush slightly.

He only makes you redder by taking your hands in his and breathing warm air on them. You see the nostalgia in his eyes, and you can't help but ask him a question.

"What is it?"

"It's just... it's been so long since I did it. The last person I threw snowballs with was my sister. It feels like... centuries ago." he whispers thoughtfully, not letting go of your hands.

Unconsciously, he starts drawing patterns on your hands with his thumbs. You see him going back to his memories. How his eyes darken with sadness, even hurt. You don't know what must have happened to make him so depressed, but you feel the inner need to fight off all his worries just to see his smile again—the gleam of joy in those dark, hypnotising eyes.

"Well… maybe you can do it again? After all, the holidays are coming. You'll definitely want to visit her. Or she you." you say, choosing your words carefully. He didn't talk much about his family. Even his name was a big secret. And from your information, as long as it was good, you were the only one who knew it.

"It's a little more complicated." he says it gruffly and pulls away from you. You curse yourself in your mind, not even knowing what you did wrong. "Neither of us sees anything... special about it."

"You don't have a family meeting? Never?"

"We're not close. I don't remember when was the last time we got together. Not to mention something as insignificant and trivial as all this exchange of gifts, celebrations and prayers to the saints." he replies, pulling your sled of wood as you both walk back to camp.

You can tell by the tone of his voice that he doesn't want to talk about it anymore, so you change the subject and ask about the next steps in his plan to capture the deer, and he perks up a little more.

Little does General Kirigan know that you're half-listening to him, thinking about something entirely else. The distant look in his dark eyes when he talks about his family—that hidden longing for something he pretends not to want—tells you one thing.

You will make sure he feels different this year. You will do everything to replace his clearly unpleasant memories with harshness from his loved ones, memories he doesn't want to share with something better.

"We'll discuss the details in my tent tonight. I hope you don't get sick. We don't have time for any delays. We have to finally catch that damn stag by the end of the year at the latest. Although our only tracker who saw it will keep hanging around the Summoner Sun instead of tracking, I don't see it well." he says, and anyone else would find his words harsh and irritated, but you've long since learned that his eyes are the true reflection of his feelings and emotions.

The one thing he couldn't control. He gives you the rope of the sled, and before he leaves you, he ties his scarf around your neck, mumbling something about how you don't know how to pack the most necessary things for the mission.

You go back to your tent and light a fire. After a while, a fabricator comes in and hands you black leather gloves without saying a word. He's gone before he can see you smiling and blushing, realising WHO told him to make them for you.

You shake your head, trying to get past Fedyor's teasing words from the hours ago. It's just a friendly gesture. Nothing more.

But this is the moment when you make your final decision.

You will see the general again, as happy and carefree as he was a few moments ago. So relaxed and calm as he deserves to be, at least in this time of year...

Even if, along the way, your stupid heart had to completely and hopelessly fail for a man you could never have.

Thank you! 🩵🖤🩵🖤

~•♤♤♤•~ Part 2 ~•♤♤♤•~

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goatsandgangsters · 1 year

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S&B but make it book quotes (5/?)

“You know what he plans to do, Ivan.” “He plans to bring us peace.”

#sabedit #shadowandboneedit #shadow and bone #alina starkov #ivan kaminsky #grishaverse #the grisha trilogy #shadowandbonecentral #shadowandbonesource #my edits #sabbookquotes #Justice for Ivan’s Deleted Backstory #this was def A Whole Scene once #why else would you film .005 seconds of Alina and Ivan silently looking at each other #give me the deleted conteeeeeent #it would have been a good parallel to their ep 2 carriage conversation too

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greensaplinggrace · 9 months

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a) they can bring one other character with them to survival, but you have to detail who it is, how it happens, and what sacrifices they make

b) murder is allowed, but you can’t rely on it as a crutch - this is mostly about bare bones survival

c) if you create an elaborate scenario I am kissing you on the mouth / giving you the cutest stuffed animal you have ever seen

#grishaverse #shadow and bone #sab #polls #alina starkov #mal oretsev #genya safin #aleksander morozova #the darkling #zoya nazyalensky #nina zenik #nikolai lantsov #tolya yul bataar #tamar kir bataar #david kostyk #ivan shadow and bone #fedyor kaminsky

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carnationworld-writings · 1 year

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I'm just a jealous guy (Aleksander Morozova x fem!reader)

To read my other works, check my MASTERLIST !

Paring: Aleksander Morozova x Grisha!reader

Universe: The Grishavers /Shadow and bone

Word Count: 1221

Requested: Yes, by my sweet annon.

Warnings: mention of jealousy, shouting someone out, mention death (Luda), making out, a quick mention of sexual activity - it ends before something happened.

If I forgot about anything feel free to write to me. Your wellbeing is important to me!

Summary: The one where he is jealous.

Aleksander walked through the corridors of Little Palace, trying to find one of his most trusted Grisha, who was also the person who made his heart beat a little faster. He lived for centuries, hiding his identity from people, always hiding his emotions, and always striving to achieve his goals. But then they showed on his path - a person with great power and strong will. A person who always cared for the people they loved and who found a way to parts of his heart that he’d forgotten. Somehow, they’d ended up sitting together into late nights, talking about everything but plans for Grishas’ training or plans for the army. He allowed himself to open up for the first time since he lost Luda, and for the first time, he allowed himself to feel again. He was afraid to call it as it was, but the truth was that he loved them. And they loved him.

The Darkling walked to the training yard, not minding Grishas, who welcomed him. He quickly knew he was in the right place and finally found them. He first heard their soft laugh and then saw them in the middle of the training yard with Fedyor, surrounded by younger Grishas. He knew that they loved to teach them, and they only showed these kids how to defend themself. But something deep in his mind made him angry at the sight of Fedyor’s hand around them. He watched how he moved his hands to their sides and started to tickle them. They squealed at the feeling and tried to escape from him, laughing loudly. The Darkling watched how close they were and how fondly they looked at each other. The betrayal blossomed in his chest. They gently tapped the Heartrender’s chest, smiling widely. Kirigan couldn’t watch it anymore and turned on his heel, quickly going to his chambers. What he didn’t know, they saw him at the last moment, and they started worrying about his hurried departure. They ended her part of the lesson and asked Fedyor to watch their training when they went after their General. After a few moments, they knocked on the doors of his cabinet. They smiled at the sound of this deep voice telling anyone behind them that he was busy. They dared to open them and snicked in, biting their lower lip.

“Maybe you’ll find a second for me, General?” They leaned against the door, watching him. They knew that even if he didn’t raise his head from maps, he knew it was them. They smiled at how his black kefta perfectly wrapped his tall body.

“Make it quick. I have a war to win.” They sighed and came closer to him, gently touching his elbow. When he didn’t change his position, they dared to lean against him, resting their cheek on his arm. They could tell that he was tense, and they hated it.

“I know, handsome, and you’re doing an amazing job. But even you, great General Kirigan, need some rest. And I saw you at the training yard.”

“You saw me?” He said mockingly. “You seemed busy with this Heartrender.” He moved away, taking his arm from their grip, and they looked at him surprised. They laughed breathlessly, standing in front of him.

“With Fedyor? He is only my friend. A very close friend, who was the first one to welcome me here with open arms and who made me feel at home here.” They said with a small smile, which faded when he constantly pretended they were not there. “If you want to accuse me of something, say it aloud rather than shutting me out.” When he heard the sadness in their voice, he stopped moving, and his eyes landed on the war figures in front of him. After a few seconds, he breathed deeply.

“Are they really ‘just a friend’?” He murmured without raising his head.

“Of course, they are just a friend. If you want to know, Fedyor lately was on a few dates with a person you know very well.”

“With who?” Alexander knew about their love for gossip. With time he discovered that it brought both of them joy, so he started encouraging them to spill a bean about it. He also wanted to be wholly sure that they were only his and that there wasn’t anybody else in their life.

“With your own personal Corporalki.” They couldn’t stop a big smile when he looked at them stunned.

“With Ivan?” They nodded, carefully watching his face. He started thinking about the latest behaviour of this man. “He was a little strange lately, in fact. Like… Happier.” They couldn’t stop the smile rising on their face, and once again, they tried to slowly touch his forearm. They breathed with relief when he didn’t move away this time.

“Because they are, both of them. Like I am happy when you are next to me because only our loved one can pull some of the strings in our hearts and make it beat faster in that specific way. So I will say it once again. They are only my friend. It’s YOU who has my heart.” They gently squeezed his arm, and finally, he moved closer to them with a look on his face reserved only for time when they were alone. His hands mindlessly moved to their hips, and in a quick move, he made them sit on the table behind them. They let the squeak leave their throat, making him smile widely at what they started laughing. Their hands slowly moved to rest on his shoulders, and one of them mindlessly started fidgeting with the ends of the hair on his neck.

“You… You made me happy, you know?” He whispered sheepishly, and they could only smile wider.

“I know. Were you jealous?” They bit her lips to stop grinning, especially when they saw a flush coming into his cheeks. He looked above them, trying to compose himself. Before he could answer, they leaned down and softly kissed his bearded cheek. “Please, don’t deny it. It actually… flatters me, you know? I… I always dreamed of having a person who would care for me enough to do it. Even if there isn’t any reason for that.”

The Darkling gently squeezed their hips, standing between their legs. His hand moved to their thigh, caressing it gently.

“I do care. Every single look from other men or women is enough to feel jealousy in me. To want to show all of them that you are mine.”

“And I always will be.” They whispered, and General immediately leaned down, kissing them deeply. One of his hands moved to the back of their head, gently moving it to allow him better access while the other kept them close. They moaned into his lips, wrapping one leg around him, wanting to feel every centimetre of his body. They were so lost in each other that they didn’t hear the knock on the door or that somebody had walked in. They were too busy unfastening his kefta to care about anything. Poor Ivan closed the door quicker than he ever opened them. After a moment of shock, Corporalki felt happiness for his General and his friend - even a dark soul like him deserved some light and love in the arms of a trusted person.

Author’s note: Thank you so much for reading! If it’s not too much trouble, I would love to hear your thoughts about it. Any feedback is greatly appreciated and motivate me to work.

I am sorry about every grammar mistake and misspellings. English is not my first language.

Klaudia 💜

Taglists are always open! If you want to be added fill this up or send me an ask!

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