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#grandma number 3
icollectfunnyquotes · 7 months
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You little shit
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popponn · 5 months
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707 ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡) thank you so much everyone i love you all. i hope the things i post in the future will be able to amuse you ;;;
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psychoticwillgraham · 3 months
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tfw ur so good at drag that ur very presence shakes the head honcho of the scene to her very core bc my potential to be a real star terrifies her bc she’s not and bc im better than her. who also tries to sabotage my career opportunities and cut my career at the knees so I’ll never find success just bc she’s pissed that I’m extremely beloved here and she isn’t. imagine having THAT big of an inflated ego from years of being coddled and being around yes men who do her every bidding, that a simple, tiny dog hair covered king, strikes that much fear into her.
I’ll definitely say that my fans are PASSIONATE like seriously. like ppl came to the show JUST for me and agreed to all vote for me so that I could finally get my flowers. I rlly hope somebody got a video of when the audience vote for the win was, bc my ears were ringing after the applause.
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lecliss · 4 months
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I've still been fucked up ever since I found out that(according to an actually plausible timeline), Konoha has only existed for like 90-something or whatever years??? It's not like. Fucking 200 years old or whatever. And that Madara died when he was 74 but he had himself hooked up to, fuckin what was it??? The Gedo statue?? A tree?? Whatever. In order to keep himself alive and you look at him all old and crusty and think he's like. Over a hundred at least. But no, that man's 74. He's just an average fucking grandpa!!! And Hashirama had been dead for a LONG while, so he actually died pretty young all things considered. And that also means Mito died like. Fuckin. I'm guesstimating here but in her 60s I guess???? But it's a significant thing that the Uzumakis have longer than average lifespans so like. What the fuck is the average life expectancy in Naruto for this bullshit to make sense???
#ever since i found out mada died at 74 ive been thinking those obi grandpa theories/allegations could actually be true#cuz doesnt he actually call obi his descendant at one point or something??? i mean i do think he meant that metaphorically#but at that age it actually could be possible#mada just woulda had to have a kid later than hashi did to make sense of the age difference between obi and tsun@de#and his grandma from the anime isnt canon so we can discount her in this equation#still fucked up tho over all hidden villages therefore being younger than a century#i think in my head it just feels like kages should be kages from like. their 20s or whenever the get the position#to like. their 70s or 80s or whenever they die#ya know like hiruzen made it to 68 i think??? and only died cuz of oro#but then again he did step down for mina like. 15 whatever years ago if were using 12yo nart for comparison#so going by 'they have the position for like a couple decades. maybe 2 MAYBE 3 then pass it on to someone else'#yeah it would then make sense for konoha to be on kage number 5 within a century#it just. doesnt really occur to me i guess. am i the only one fucked up by realizing this??? or has it always been obvious to everyone else?#granted when i was a kid i was ALWAYS so confused by how there could be a 4th hokage when the current guy is called the 3rd#i just never picked up on the idea that the 3rd returned to the position when the 4th died lmao#so yeah of course this has always gone right over my head#personal
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the real numerology bitches are the grandmas talking about which numbers to buy for the christmas lottery
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surrender-souls · 10 months
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ok so that scarecrow has like a norman bates thing going on
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deus-ex-mona · 1 year
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language barriers my beloathed </3
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ze-maki-nin · 2 years
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This is lovelettic!!! It's when your gender is related to identified by love letters, be it writing them or receiving love letters they relate to your gender
This one is just cause I write love letters to people I really care about in my spare time when I'm not reading fanfics or cleaning the house lmao
ʚ♡ɞ
naw thats so cute
what about number 25?
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minhoinator · 2 years
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i'm getting anxious asldkjfa
#okay so idk if i've talked about my current situation much#lived in one place for seven years; despised it but didn't have the funds to move#my living situation went to shit and i saw no feasible way out aside from taking my aunt up on her offer of moving in#with her and my grandma indefinitely (aka until i could find a new job and afford to move out again)#did this so i could focus on finishing my school work and also move to this side of the state because fuck eastern WA tbh#but....now that i'm here......#like it's nice living rent free atm especially considering there is no cashflow#however.............................#they're both extremely conservative; which is a choice but okay; religious; and homophobic (and frequently make homophobic comments)#also they have three chihuahuas of varying levels of derangement so i'm just having the time of my life here#first of all they all poop and pee in the house at wild abandon. the number of times i've stepped in it at this point is...too many#rat dog number 1: has the most annoying bark/whine combo i've ever heard and she starts the other rats on a chain reaction#rat dog number 2: actively eats the other dog's shit and like they do occasionally clean up after their dogs but???#they also just leave paper towels covering the mess until they want to take the time to actually clean it up#rat dog number 3: is a special case. i feel sorta bad bitching about him because he was abused and raised in a meth home so like...#he's special needs but that doesn't mean he can't also be annoying#he makes a lot of the messes and also he will run around in tight circles barking for up to 15 minutes at a time#also all three of them have fleas AND GAVE THEM TO MY DOG but they won't do much of anything about it so anything i try to do for Frodo#is basically pointless#and this isn't even getting into the cooking...my aunt has like idk 40+ ingredients she's allergic to and my grandma#can't eat a lot of foods and they expect me to cook for them because i went to culinary school once upon a time#i'm tired#on top of all this; they live out in the boonies; which wouldn't be that bad of a thing because i like being up in the mountains/forest#however#I don't want to be trapped here during the winter with them because i think i would lose my grip on the fraying threads of my sanity#so i was looking for a job in town#applied to a bunch of places; got one in Portland; which is a little over an hour drive away from me atm#now; i've always wanted to live in OR; so i'm jumping on this opportunity to move#but since it's a new job; i don't have the pay stubs to apply for an apartment#and rent is so fucking high right now
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rrottentothecores · 2 years
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To be clear this is a horny blog not a tradwife blog. 24/7 bdsm dynamics are not healthy no matter how hard you try to make it that way, & 1950s housewives were so miserable they were all high on tranqs to escape their hellish lives.
Pls take ur neo conservative evangelical takes and go colonize someone else’s pussy.
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orcelito · 1 year
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Tho ex assistant manager aka miss bitch, her boyfriend came in. Or ex boyfriend at the time, except he used her rewards account & I had to see her name (ughhh), so I'm like. Are they back together? Who fuckin knows
Anyways I had to make a drink today that possibly went towards the person that holds the #3 spot for most hated in my personal life. I was Slightly tempted to spit in it, but I did not.
#speculation nation#number 1 is my bad ex number 2 is my mom's shitty boyfriend. number 3 is my old assistant manager that id thought i was friendly with#but who was probably the primary reason for my general alienation amongst the workforce#causing misery to me. & then eventually coming clean about how much of a fucking BITCH she was#ok the times i have cried this year. 1 time in january that i dont remember aside from that it happened#THREE times in february bc of her. and then one Kind of cry in like. idfk. the summer. bc dorian was leaving critical role#i dont fucking cry. like. Most of the time. as a rule.#but this bitch had me full on bawling for like an hour the first time#then the 2nd was after she followed me around the store yelling at me and i just. had to go into the storage room to cry for half an hour#i n e v e r struggle to not cry as thoroughly as that#even when my fuckin grandma died i managed to get through my classes without crying. and then cried when i got home lol#but i just couldnt Not. she was so fucking awful to me.#and yes we 'made up' aka sent apology messages for shit. but imma b real im the type who never forgives and never forgets.#if you truly wrong me im gonna b YEARS down the line. remember u. and be momentarily filled with contempt b4 moving on#i dont care if youve apologized lol. my blood is made for malice.#not gonna let it rule my life but UGH anytime im reminded of her i just get so angry.#dont ask me what the other top rankings are bc i dont know lol#these r just the ppl that have personally slighted me. and so they are in my stink book indefinitely.
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sonic the hedgehog tumblr dashboard simulator
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💠 extremegayr Follow
got held up in traffic today cause some noob couldnt drive the fucking loop-de-loop. lmfao fucking coward
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🎛 420zone Follow
ok but robotnik's kind of a dilf tho
🌫 wispgender Follow
he's literally a war criminal can we NOT do this tumblr
🎛 420zone Follow
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📰 its-no-use Follow
@wispgender dont u literally simp for nominatus like who is one to talk
🌫 wispgender Follow
NOMINATUS ISN'T REAL????
🛜 viralsensation-destructorofworlds Follow
that you know of
🌫 wispgender Follow
what
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🔷 sonicinthewild
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☣️ lineinthesand Follow
saw sonic the hedgehog irl once. he showed up at my village, released 30 feral pickys in the town hall, paid the ice cream vendor roughly a thousand rings for a single chili dog, told me not to waste my life worrying about the little things, and then caused a fucking tornado
🧿 spiralhillspindash Follow
ok and??? you're not special
☣️ lineinthesand Follow
THIS WAS A PERSONAL POST GO AWAAAAY
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🌠 chaoinspace2electricboogaloo
sucks that sticks the badger hates all technology you know she would do NUMBERS on here
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☸️ r0u3e Follow
being an islander be like "are those the kind of eggsplosions i should worry about or the kind of eggsplosions that are gonna repair our crops, fix the economy, and bring my dead grandma back to life"
🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow
being a continenter be like "oh great what primordial diety has risen from the grave to block traffic and fight a 15yo today"
🥭 chao-official
being a chao be like "chao chao chao chao chao"
🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow
you said it my mans
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🏵 sprinkles-the-chao Follow
hold on if sonic the hedgehog is jewish then how is he santa claus
🤖 e123-omegaverse Follow
dont question him
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☣️ sparkygoboom Follow
hey guys real question are human/mobian relationships problematic
💠 extremegayr Follow
op is about to start the anthro church schism of the fifteenth year all over again
🛞 mobotropolis Follow
ok but in all seriousness did your mom never teach you that part of history
🎢 marxiobros Follow
someone doesn't know about the united federations public school system
🛞 mobotropolis Follow
what the fuck is a public school
⏭️ drowningmusic Follow
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⚄ paradoxprism Follow
are we gonna talk about op's chaos radiation fetish
💠 extremegayr Follow
OP'S WHAT NOW
🏞 mobiancrossing Follow
ok but am i the only one who thinks that the public school system would be a good idea if handled right? like i know it's traditional to learn from your parents and then experience the world on our own from the ages of 7-13 but like combining all our knowledge and learning together doesnt seem like a bad idea
☠️ fabian-vane-number-1-hater Follow
bitch that's what the internet is for
🌅 s0leanna-apple-barrell
yeah where else am i gonna learn to make infinite chaos emeralds
❇️ freesurge Follow
"infinite chaos emeralds" that's called the phantom ruby
🏳️‍🌈 rainbowwispforgayrights Follow
everybody on this site has brain damage
❇️ freesurge Follow
yeah. from the radiation
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🐸 froggysfriend
caught this today
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🏝 digginginthegroundfortubers
if anything happens to this blog i genuinely hope eggman blows us all up as punishment
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🐊 teamchaotixofficial
Hey guys! Sorry to do this again but rent's a little tight this month :( If we've ever solved a case for you guys or made you guys smile, please consider sending a ko-fi our way! we just need a few rings to get through the month <3
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🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow
do we ever talk about that time the sky turned blood-red and shadow the hedgehog's demon dad descended from on high to murder us all and we only barely survived
❤️‍🔥 songoose4evr Follow
shadow fixed it it's fine
🎮 n0cturnity
yeah that was like twelve apocalypses ago move on
🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow
kinda wanted to bang black doom tbh
🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow
THE DEVIL???? FROM THE BIBLE????
🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow
yeah. move over gayboy i'm boutta be shadow's new dad
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🗑️ berrybarry
starting a conspiracy that time hasnt moved since 2006
🗑️ berrybarry
why the fuck was i shadowbanned after posting this
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🤡 clownfinite Follow
tfw you finally save up enough rings for ice cream and you go outside and get hit by swatbot pieces and the rings just go fuckin everywhere
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🔷 sonicinthewild
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🌌 h-o-l-o-l-y-n-x
so did y'all see that genesis wave or was it just me
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🆙 planetsgiantcrack Follow
the virgin tweeter "if you use a bad word in the same tweet as the word 'cream' you get obliterated off the site" vs this chad site of "i want to put knuckles back in a microwave"
💟 presidentyaoi Follow
BACK????
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⬜️ chao-and-wisps-4-ever-so-cute-2 Follow
ok posting my first fanart to this site pls be nice! <3
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🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
why does tails look like he's always about to say "it fucken WIMDY"
🦊 miles-prower-official
Hello, @emeraldfwuitgummy!
I actually quote that image on a constant basis! Sonic thinks it's hilarious every time. He's quite the fan of memes, and it's nice to get a laugh out of him!
Formally,
Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
SO WAS ANYONE GOING TO TELL ME THAT TAILS WAS ON THIS FUCKING SITE OR--
🏅 iwishhumanswerereal Follow
do. do you not know he created tailblr. dude it's in the name lmao
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
he
WHAT
🍭 milfwisp Follow
didn't eggman invent this site???
🪫 veganswatbot
THE EGG ABANDONED SCRAMBLR IN ITS TIME OF NEED AND THE FOX RAISED US FROM THE ASHES. YOU WILL NOT DISRESPECT HIM
🦊 miles-prower-official
Hello, @milfwisp and @veganswatbot!
Very good question! This site was Eggman's until I ate his bones. Thank you for engaging! :D
Formally,
Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
YOU
WHAT
🌭 sonicsays
what's not clicking
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fingertipsmp3 · 3 months
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The overall concept of kids bringing their phones to school BAFFLES me tbh. Like what do you mean 10 year olds have phones? What do you mean they’re allowed to bring them to school???
#i got my first phone when i was 9 but it was literally only because i was going on a trip with my grandparents#my parents wanted a way to keep in touch with us and neither of my grandparents were interested in owning a phone at that time#(my granddad has one now but my grandma hates them with a passion. she doesn’t even like having a landline. she’s so based for that tbh)#anyway. it was a nokia brick and i LOVED it; i thought it was the best because it lit up at the sides and i could take tiny photos#i had about 10 numbers. whenever i got a new person’s number i would text them incessantly#i still was not allowed to take it to school and i wouldn’t have even WANTED to considering 1) what would i have been able to do with it?#we weren’t allowed to text or call people in class and that was really all my phone could do lol#and 2) it would’ve got stolen#tbh i never brought anything nice with me to school because it WOULD’VE got stolen. in the time i was there i had a coat; a bag#and two pencil cases stolen. oh and my watch but whoever stole it dropped it and a teacher found it#NONE of this stuff was as valuable as a phone. i got my pencil cases for £3 maximum at whsmith#so i am absolutely bamboozled at the concept of kids bringing SMARTPHONES to school. like what do you mean you as a parent are buying#something for your kid that costs hundreds of pounds and then LETTING THEM GO TO SCHOOL WITH IT???#‘oh they need to be able to get in touch with me and i need to be able to get in touch with them—‘ call the receptionist’s office#like a normal person!!! sorry but anyone who’s a parent of a school age kid… well most of us anyway. we’re old enough to remember LANDLINES#we’re old enough to know the concept that if someone is at a building; such as a school or workplace; that building has a LANDLINE PHONE#maybe several. and also: if your kid has gone MISSING from school then you need to call the police#that’s it!! if your kid needs you they need to go to school reception. if you need your kid you need to go to or call school reception#i’m sorry i’m not seeing why everyone needs a phone at school. the only thing i can think is if your bus/transport ticket or pass#is on there. even then - it should be in your bag & switched off throughout classes#tbh even at break time - socialise with people?? like by all means check your notifications quickly but you don’t need to be ON your phone#not at break and defffinitely not in class#i had a smartphone all through college and university and i never used it in class. like. i don’t get why people seem to think it’s okay#personal
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namekujii · 11 months
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nobody in my family has ever tried to contact me since i estranged myself except for my now 17 year old brother who just asks about tablets and if he can have my old pokemon cards
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marciliedonato · 1 year
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One thing about packages delivered through DHL is they love to be late....
#I bought the right adapter for my charger and it was express delivery supposed to come today#And not only did these bitches not show up at all apparently it's here ?? so where tf is it then why are u stalling#And obv it's the weekend and Tuesday is a national holiday freedom day /end of the dictatorship so its not coming then either....#And this shit was express.... I am beating them with hammerssss#I'm using something makeshift with a white label cable + wrong adapter and it charges super slowly#And if the laptop starts overheating (v easy) it starts eating the charge so it's prob busting my battery uhhhhhhh#Can these bitches be on time for once like ffs it was the only option available but if u can't do express don't offer it then ‼️#Edit: i was looking at the details and here's the gag... It was delivered to a 3rd party at 10:06#And got rescheduled at 10:27...i was not only home and awake with my phone with sound on max but I wasn't told abt anything...#Like I literally took a call at 10:25 and itwasnt them and they had my number these bitches ain't slick#And 3 years ago when my laptop got delivered they almost took off with my laptop bc they were scared of my dog#And my grandma had to be like 'we need that' bc they werent in the mood to reach over the gate bc of my (harmless) loud dog lol#Edit 2: i checked and if they were here they def didn't even call me they just changed the date no warning#Like. Ok smartass I have a way to somewhat charge my laptop but imagine it was an emergency.... Clown shit
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astonmartinii · 11 months
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witchy business | oscar piastri social media au
pairing: reader x oscar piastri
oscar's gf is a lil kooky but she puts solstice to good use and mainfests some luck for her bf
yourusername
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yourusername: you're not really sisters if you've never done a ritual together ...
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user1 she's so mother
user2 i can't wrap my head around how her and oscar came to be but i love it
oscarpiastri don't have too much fun without me :(
yourusername tell your team to take out the no ritual clause from your contract i swear they're safe landonorris i heard your latin once IT IS NOT SAFE yourusername falsehoods !!
user3 does this girl have a job or is she just cosplaying ahs coven full time
yourusername i'm a florist, do you want my social security number and tax returns too?
danielricciardo any way you could like turn me into a real honey badger for a couple hours that sounds fun?
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oscarpiastri
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tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: some time off well spent with my love
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user10 i am once again asking - how did this happen?
user11 it's actually a really cute story they apparently went to school together and she still does a weekly bouquet for his mum and grandma. they're og sweethearts all that opposites attract jazz
landonorris don't even get a photo credit with all the trauma i experienced for that pic
oscarpiastri bro you barged into my room and took a photo? landonorris i didn't see any sock on the door oscarpiastri it was my own house?
yourusername i love every moment together with you
oscarpiastri that sentiment goes both ways xx user12 god i am so alone
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f1teaandgossip
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liked by 14,098 others
f1teaandgossip: with lando and oscar being reported as frustrated, how long do you think it'll be until they're linked with moves elsewhere and do you think the updates will improve the car?
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user15 they don't deserve this
user16 i don't wanna be that person but this is karma for what they did to daniel
user17 i honestly think magic might be our only chance
user18 @yourusername pls work some magic
yourusername on it 🫡 user19 now that's my favourite wag
yourusername
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yourusername: the full moon is here and i'm bringing some luck to my baby
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user20 mother is here to save the day i know that's right
landonorris if this works i'll never say you're scary ever again
yourusername *when it works have some faith in the moon lando landonorris yeah i don't think i wanna mess with the moon
user21 that moment when the mcl60 is so bad that you start to believe in witchcraft
oscarpiastri i love you so much (p.s. thank you to the girls as well, i'll cover the next candle order)
yourusername i love you too honey - we're rooting for you yourbff1 we love you oscar yourbff2 i don't understand your sport but i love the wages cause candles !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
charles_leclerc so are you adept in curses? asking for a friend....
maxverstappen1 sure. yourusername i don't (but i can give you a good luck crystal) charles_leclerc i'll take anything at this point
mclaren
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mclaren: WOOOOOOOOOOOO WE TAKE A 2 - 3 FINISH IN HUNGARY 🇭🇺 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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user26 i am bamboozled
user27 so .... it worked?
landonorris i have never said a bad word about y/n's hobby NEVER I LOVE YOU Y/N AND I LOVE THE MOON
oscarpiastri she's still MY girlfriend mate landonorris i am aware i am merely stating my appreciation for her
user28 i know the team just finally got their shit together... but YAAAAS WITCH SLAY
yourusername so so happy for you guys
oscarpiastri i love you so so so so much xxxxxxxx
user29 y/n is my driver of the day
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yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 68,349 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
yourusername: i love you so. forever proud.
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user31 fave couple FOR REAL
landonorris fine yall are so cute
oscarpiastri finally, only took a few months
user32 i need something like this in my life
oscarpiastri i love you more.
yourusername anything for you. even asking the moon for help with cars.
danielricciardo once again i am asking to be turned into a real honey badger for a couple hours
maxverstappen1 i think it's time to give up danny
note: idk what this is but lol i had fun - i shall get to the requests next, hope you enjoy !!!
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