icollectfunnyquotes
You Want Some??
A few years ago, I started collecting funny quotes from friends, strangers, and everything in between. Good luck! (I am running out of quotes… submissions accepted)
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*dramatically looks up slowly*
*softly and mournfully says*
oh no
I forgot the soup
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Lebenese tapas...
Lesbian tops *giggles*
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I forget what kind of Asian he is
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He's really nice. Well, I haven't talked to him
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"Does the death penalty work?"
"It did for that guy"
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"Well, he hasn't broken up with you"
"Yes. He has"
"Well he hasn't broken up with you a second time"
#funny quote of the day#quotes#bring on the fire#abby#yours truly#discussing my boyfriend#who used to be my ex
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I'm not a bitch. I'm a dick
#funny quote of the day#quotes#abby#she was offended to be called a bitch#because apparently she's not a bitch#she's a dick
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*after Kaet and I failed at just dance but somehow beat Abby*
Guys! Guys! I'm just disappointed
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The shower is where I'm most confident. Which is ironic cause it's where I'm naked
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Anyways! The demons went in the pigs
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Oh! Beads! You can make noises with those! *shakes beads aggressively*
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Chairs? I love chairs!
Have you seen my chair? I don’t have a chair
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We had chickens... and then the rats came
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"VEGGIE TALES!!"
... two minutes of dead silence ...
"VEGGIE TALES!!"
#funny quote of the day#quotes#yours truly#kaet#veggie tales#do I have context?#yes#will I provide it?#no
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This is Toadstool. He watches me poop. We're friends
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You little shit
#funny quote of the day#quotes#grandma number 3#she never ever cusses#but I beat her at sequence#I refuse to admit to cheating
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"Ah fuck me"
"no"
"please🥺"
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