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kiss-me-muchoo · 1 year

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𝐀 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬’𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞 || 𝐃𝐢𝐧 𝐃𝐣𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_ 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐃𝐢𝐧 𝐃𝐣𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐆𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐮𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐌𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐆𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨𝐧'𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐭, 𝐃𝐢𝐧 𝐃𝐣𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐩𝐭𝐬 𝐆𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐝.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝. NO PROOFREAD

𝐀/𝐍_ 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝟑 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐖𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬. 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐮𝐩𝐜𝐨𝐦��𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐃𝐢𝐧.

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝.

✰ 𝙄𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙓 (𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚)

♪ ♫ 𝙋𝙀𝘿𝙍𝙊 𝙋𝙇𝘼𝙔𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏 (𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩)

————————————————————————————

Dirt everywhere; you hate it. Rolling your eyes, you stand up and start cleaning your clothes. There’s a tiny burn on your forearm caused by the Marksman-H.

“That was very good. But you got distracted at the end….” Luke explains. You nod, giving him a little smile.

“Did I make it?” Leia appears panting and gasping through the humid jungle. You giggle after seeing her so disheveled.

“Leia, the Marksman-H returned half an hour ago” You couldn’t help but laugh.

Your padawan mate completely got lost in the jungle.

“Oh, stars,” she surrenders, sitting to drink water.

“You’re not done, y/n. Turn on your lightsaber.” tired, you stand up to get in position. The green laser appeared with the characteristic sound, and the flying ball started to shoot you.

After months of training, you finally could use your own lightsaber and control part of the force.

“You can focus on the control of the lightsaber, but if you focus on the force, the win will be greater,” Luke softly added as you managed to dodge the sharp shooting of the Marksman.

The force, the force, the force. You close your eyes, and pushing one hand toward the ball, you feel it crush.

“Good job, you opted to use the force instead of physical skills to complete your task. That’s why you have a green lightsaber, y/n. However, I can feel disturbed,” the young man announced. Making you and Leia exchange confused looks. Luke sighs, pushing away the crashed Marksman.

“I can’t tell if it’s a premonition or not. But it was evident that you’ll end up in danger….” Not again. The war finished a year ago. You were just eighteen.

“Don’t be afraid. As long as the force is with you, everything will be okay” You nod. “Perhaps this is a bad omen, but we don’t know when it will happen. Until then, we’ll keep your training.”

“Luke…” you call him, and he returns. “If I ever end up being in danger, I cause it. Hide my memories.” he looks hesitant but nods.

Because he knows it’s the best.

___

Panic. It’s all Din Djarin is feeling.

“I’ll take care of Moff Gideon. But I need to find Princess y/n” Bo-Katan agrees and lets Din know the next movement.

“R-5. Before you give me the location of the command center, I need to go to the laboratory. " The droid makes some sounds, and finally, Din can hear an answer.

“Let’s go, Grogu. We need to save your mother,” the baby squeals inside the droid, totally mastering it, answering Din with a robotic yes.

Through the alleys and corridors of the base, Din wonders how you had the force if you never showed any sign of it.

Perhaps you lied to protect yourself, although that would hurt him because he thought you trusted him.

Then you yelled and cried about the fight, telling him everything he wanted, but not in that way.

About your feelings for him, he wanted the same.

With more reason, he had to save you from making things right.

Grogu coos at Din, and when he turns, he sighs with relief to see doors that protect the laboratory.

Only two soldiers get in the way, but Din quickly gets rid of them in minutes.

The room is white, full of chemicals, annoying sounds, and surgical tools. The thought of surgery makes a shiver run down Din’s spine.

“Keep your eyes open, Grogu. The princess must be here,” the green baby nods, moving around the room until he spots a crystal door. Grogu can see you in the middle, unconscious in a bed.

“What?” Din asks with his gun in hand until he sees Grogu pointing, and the Mandalorian can finally see you.

He jogs to the door and noticing is coded. With a single shot to the pad next to it, it’s open.

When he is next to you, he notices there’s no fresh blood. Your face looks clean, and your hair is wet. A white blanket covers you from shoulders to toes, and the image is dreadful to Din, almost like he was seeing your corpse.

“She’s alive…” he announced to Grogu, but mostly, it was to soothe himself.

Once he’s getting you out of the silver bed, he stops, realizing you're only in underwear.

“Dank farrik…” he cursed, placing you above the fabric that covered you.

And as Din hurried to find some clothes, Grogu walked cautiously towards you.

His little hand lifts to your unconscious body. He closes his eyes and concentrates on contacting you through the force.

Please, wake up. It’s gonna hurt a little.

Din turns worried once he hears you complain of pain. He looks as you suddenly wake up and sit to hold your temple, showing that your head is hurting a lot.

“Grogu! you’re hurting her!” Din says after seeing the little child using his abilities on you. Still, Din is unaware of what Grogu is actually doing. “Kid, stop”

You feel someone’s hands on your shoulders and cheek, but you can’t see or hear anything.

Until you hear your own voice saying something. Just like it happened when Grogu communicated with you a day ago.

Please, wake up. It’s gonna hurt a little.

It’s Grogu. He’s talking to you.

Flashes assault you from the time when you joined the rebellion.

Training in Dagobah, the Skywalker twins. Han Solo’s ship, the kind of Wookiee. Your X-Wing, the green saber.

You open your eyes and let out a long pant, feeling like drowning.

“…y/n!” You hear Din calling you. And finally, you can see your little family looking worried at you.

Before you can say anything to Din, you smile brightly at Grogu.

“Grogu, you brought back my memories, baby. Thank you…” He lets out the cutest coo.

“Memories?” Din asks. But you ignore his questions for a few seconds. Because you hug him tightly, brushing away all your anger toward him and Lady Kryze. He holds you tightly, and you feel the pressure of his helmet on top of your head.

“I’m sorry, Din,” you admit.

“We’ll talk about it later. You just need to know that I love you too, so much, cyar’ika” You nod, enjoying the hug as you hold Grogu’s little hand. “But what memories, y/n?”

“Luke Skywalker was my master. The man who trained Grogu… I was a Jedi, Din” It felt like the force was trapped somewhere inside you, and now that Grogu had set it free, you could feel it everywhere.

“That’s why Gideon trapped you, right? But Skywalker blocked the memories to keep you safe,” he whispered.

“No, I did it. I removed my own memories,” you say. “But our little one here, he helped me”

Both of you turn to look at Grogu, who looks happy or proud of being able to help you.

“We need to take him down. This war is not gonna be over if he’s not gone” Din has a lot of questions to you, a lot of things to say and confess, but not yet. You nod, and soon you realize you’re in underwear. “My clothes…”

“There’s something here…” the Mandalorian points at the tiny closet in a corner. He takes some clothes out along with a metal box. It’s some black attire, which wasn’t yours, but it looked clean like they left it for you. The box had your holster and boots, at least.

You quietly get dressed as Din guards the door, and Grogu helps him to look.

“We’ll go to the command center. Gideon must be there.” You nod at the man as the three of you walk on the bright hallways. “The fleet was able to escape. I don’t know what’s their next move.”

Before you make another turn, Din stops you.

“Listen, this is dangerous. If anything, you stay behind me. I’m not letting them retake you,” he means it. While you had cared for each other over time, Din wouldn’t let you or Grogu alone for a second.

“I know…” you nod. He leans, and in a second, he’s giving you a keldabe kiss. You are surprised, but you don’t say anything.

“You know what this means?” He was nervous. One side of him hoped you didn't know the meaning behind his action.

“I do. I liked it….” He loves your smile. Even in a dangerous and unsafe moment, he knows your smile is the brightest thing in the imperial base.

—

You looked disgusted at the clones of Gideon. You were always afraid of the experiments of the Empire. So when they targeted you as a bounty, rumors appeared. That you would be used to replicate DNA.

Now looking at the bunch of clones is… disturbing.

“We need to get out, now,” you state seconds before Grogu jumps back, scared. As some alarms sound, Din is able to get you out in time.

But soon, you finally encounter the real enemy.

Moff Gideon explains how angry he is that his clones are gone now. You feel it, your lightsaber. The man has it.

“Now, your princess is our last hope….” you won't be part of his experiments. “Her only purpose was to follow you and babysit your kid. Here, she has a task to do.”

“I will never be part of the Empire. And I am more than you’ll ever be,” you yell, coming out of the hallway to face him.

“Wait, princess!” Din calls you, but you’re pissed.

“Avoid the fight, princess y/n. Your days of being a Jedi are gone,” he mocks proudly.

“I don’t think so…” you whisper, raising your hand. Your lightsaber emerges from Gideon’s cape, landing on your hand.

You step into the position, and the imposing sound of your weapon captures the attention. The green laser illuminates your face and a significant part of the room.

“Maybe not,” your enemy says, irritated, only to take his imitation of a double lightsaber and throw himself at you to fight.

Din is worried, but at the same time, he’s proud and shocked. He never imagined that he would see you as one of those he once called wizards.

You throw the man back, punch, and beat him. Barely cause him some burns with your lightsaber, but you know you’re weakening him.

Then, your Mandalorian lover joins the fight. It’s obvious how skilled and meticulous he is. And you love that many tricks you know have been taught by him.

“Din!” You yell when Gideon shoots him in the back. And then, praetorian guards appear.

You push a guard away, but it’s not enough when one of them pushes you so far, landing beside Grogu. You cry when you see the guards torturing Din. Even Grogu lets out his anger. So he starts pressing the no button. You stand up quickly, ready to receive their attacks. You don’t care as long as you can protect Din and Grogu.

Din yells as he watches the guards going after you and Grogu. He knew you would protect the baby but feared it could cost your life.

His anger and pain grew as he watched the giant doors closing, and the last thing he saw was a guard disarm you.

—

You knew you weren’t dying when you got cornered by the praetorian guards. Even when you got rid of some of them, the room was too small, and Grogu couldn’t fight them really well. Grogu looked worried at you, but miraculously, Din appeared and killed the last guards.

Then, you knew Moff Gideon would lose. As the base collapsed and fire surrounded you, Din, Grogu, and Bo-Katan, you swiped your lightsaber through Gideon’s leg. He pushed you away in hurt. Bo-Katan edged him to the cliff, and using the force, you made him fall into the fire. The red-haired and Din look at each other, exchanging silent looks.

Din covered you with his arms to avoid the fire hurting you, but as you looked at tiny Grogu pushing the waves of fire away, you helped him create a bigger shield.

You offered a gentle smile to him, letting him know it was okay.

It was over, and Mandalore was free.

—

You look as the Mandalorians gather together to watch the enormous forge get lit by the Armorer. You find it so beautiful, and although you are still resentful of all of them for how they treated you, there is no hate in your heart. They cheer as kid Ragnar is swearing the creed.

“Where is princess y/n of Naboo?” The Armorer asks suddenly, and everyone turns their helmets to look at you. “Come…”

Awkwardly, you walk towards her, and she greets you with silence.

“For centuries, Mandalorians have unwelcomed any outsider of our culture. We have been resentful for the outcomes of The Great Purge. But Princess y/n has demonstrated to have the heart of a Mandalorian. We must thank her because she’s the one who ended Moff Gideon.” You are in shock. The Mandalorians cheer and show their respect to you. “Hand your lightsaber…”

Confused, you take it from your holster. She gently grabs the weapon and turns to the forge. The sound of the metals colliding, it hypnotized you.

Seconds later, she hands the saber to you. A mythosaur of beskar is placed near the handler of the saber.

“A mythosaur to show our respect and eternal gratitude.” You smile kidly at her. “Thank you” She only nods. “This is the way.”

“This is the way,” you reply and turn to the people, turning on the lightsaber and pointing it to the air as a way of acceptance.

“For Mandalore, long live princess y/n of Naboo,” Axe yells, and everyone copies him, cheering.

When Din and Grogu enter, you smile widely at them.

They stand beside you, and anyone can’t deny that you fit with Din Djarin and Grogu.

But you open your eyes widely when Din asks the Armorer to make Grogu say the Mandalorian creed.

“Din…” you call him, but he just offers you a characteristic tilt.

You like how the Armorer tells Din that Grogu is too young to speak and swear the creed. Like she was suggesting, Din did something about it.

“If his parents gave permission, Couldn’t he then become a Mandalorian apprentice?” The Armorer nods but explains that Grogu’s parents are not in the picture, and whether his parents are alive is unclear.

“Then I will adopt him as my own '' you wanted to cry out of happiness when Din said that.

“And I would like to marry, princess y/n…” some Mandalorians gasp in surprise. And you can’t help but hold your chest, like preventing your heart from popping out. You look at the Mandalorian like he was a ghost.

“If you agree, of course,” Din adds, slightly leaning to directly speak to you.

“I-yes. I’ll marry you, Din” The argument from before did not matter anymore. You knew he loved you. The force confirmed it to you. He was the one who saved you from the Empire, the man who took care of you. Who welcomed you when he didn't have to. Din Djarin was your soulmate.

“To get married, you need to recite the words in Mando’a,” the Armorer says, so Din turns to you. He gently takes your hands in his gloved ones.

“Follow my words, cyar’ika,” you nod nervously.

"Mhi solus tome.

Mhi solus dar'tome.

Mhi me'dinui an.

Mhi ba'uri verde.

Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum.”

(We are one when together.

We are one when parted.

We share all.

We will raise warriors.

I love you.)

“Let it be written in Song, that Din Djarin is accepting this foundling as his son. And taking this woman as his wife. The first foreign princess to take a Mandalorian in a riduurok (marriage)” That’s it, you are married. You have an adopted son, Din Djarin is your husband, and Grogu is your son.

Naboo has an eligible princess to run for queen.

The Mandalorians keep celebrating, and everything feels like a party, but you only have eyes for Din.

“So… What do you want to do now?” The way he asks is so cute. You giggle, looking at Grogu cooing.

“I won't keep my husband from going on adventures. Nor my baby….” you state petting one of Grogu’s ears. “But for now, let’s go and find a home.”

“We can do that…” he agrees.

—-

Din watches curiously at you and Grogu.

The market in Nevarro is crowded after Din presents the new IG robot as the marshal. Everyone stops to greet you and congratulate you.

Because everyone knows that a woman wearing turquoise flowers in her hair and a veil is from Naboo and is newlywed.

Just as you accepted to get married in the Mandalorian way, Din wanted you to experience Naboo's traditional way of marriage.

The kids want to talk to you and Grogu, and Din can’t help but think that in a possible future, you will raise warriors.

Although it was going to be a change, because the feelings had been there since both of you met, until now, intimacy would come. He realized you married him without knowing how he looked under the armor.

He smiles, ready to start this new chapter with you and Grogu.

“Hey…” he calls, getting beside you. You turn happily to see him, so you hand him Grogu. “I didn’t know people knew about the traditions of Naboo.”

“Naboo is known for their beauty….” you blush once you understand what he means.

“I’ll never get used to your romantic way of being” He tilts his helmet, and you can feel his arrogance. “I think you’ll do.”

“I have to show you some things” You arch your brow, curious. “Well, one is for you and Grogu and the other two are just for you”

You nod, walking wherever he’s taking you and your kid.

—

Din makes you close your eyes the whole flight in the N1. You felt Grogu brushing your face the entire ride.

“So stubborn, cyar’ika. Here…” He helps you hop out of the ship.

“Not yet?” You ask impatiently.

“Yeah, now…” you open your eyes only to find a remote, beautiful hut.

“This is our home….” Din explains to you and Grogu.

“It’s perfect…” he smiles after seeing you whispering it. So he wraps your shoulder, reassuring you.

“Let’s go inside….” The three of you walk inside the house. It’s simple, yet, so warm and perfect.

“Look, Grogu. Your new room,” you tell him after watching the little room with a tiny bed and a closet included. The baby coos and asks to be put in the ground, so Din does it.

“We’ll need more rooms in the future,” you say, and Din blushes so hard that he thanks you for not looking at him. But he agrees.

“Grogu… Why don’t you go outside to play? I have to talk with your mother” Your heart melted when Din addressed you as Grogu’s mother.

The baby coos in agreement and starts waddling toward the exit.

You smile at the little green guy leaving.

“You know I never wanted to hurt you by helping Bo-Katan….” Slowly, you nod. “I’ve loved you since Xi’an hurt you, and I had to see you suffering. I knew I would never let that happen again.”

“Why did you never say anything?” Din sighed.

“Because you are a princess, I knew I had to take you back to Naboo. But then, Gideon attacked us here, I thought I was dying, and you said you wouldn’t leave me” He was standing on the door frame, and you couldn’t help but think how hot he looked.

“I started to think about asking you to marry when Grogu was taken away, and I left you some weeks on Naboo” You missed him so much those weeks, and you feared he wouldn’t come back to you. But then he came back in a new ship with Grogu, and you were relieved. Saying that he took longer because he went to help Boba Fett and Fennec Shand.

“I love you. And I’ll respect, admire, and always praise you as my wife, princess y/n” You smile fondly. “And I know you’ll do the same with me.”

“You’re my other half, Din Djarin. My strong Mandalorian….” He gives you a keldabe kiss, and you accept it, feeling his cold helmet on your forehead.

He returns to grab a piece of cloth, and you look confused.

“Mandalorians don’t have wedding ceremonies, or gowns, or rings. But I wanted to give you this….” He unfolds the cloth, and you see a little silver tiara. It was a single strip with tiny welded details that added a discreet touch.

“It’s made of beskar. The imperials took yours, so I wanted you to have one made from my people.” tears prick at the corner of your eyes. “Do you like it?”

“I love it, Din, thank you, thank you,” you say, and when you throw yourself to kiss him on the lips, you remember he had a helmet.

And he noticed it.

“Sorry…” you say.

“I think it’s time to start leaving this a little aside,” you gasp. “It’s okay. We’re married, Cyar’ika.”

You wait nervously. Until his hands reach the helmet's edges, he slowly lifts it.

You are crying when you finally see him.

Brown hair in slight curls. Some gray hairs on his mustache and beard. Gorgeous eyes, a sophisticated nose, and the most beautiful smile. The most beautiful human.

“Oh Din, you’re beautiful. I love you” nothing Can stop you from kissing your husband now. You smash your lips with him and tangle your fingers through his soft hair.

He’s blessed by the sight of you without his helmet, he can see your hair is slightly darker than he thought. Your eyes are brighter, the color on your cheeks is delightful, and your lips, he was wonderstruck by you.

“Maker, you’re perfect,” he says back. He kisses you back, and it’s more passionate. Like payback for all the time you desired each other.

After that, he retakes the tiara and slowly places it in your head. You feel his breath, and you swear he can hear the beats of your heart.

Both of you study each other's eyes. The tension is inevitable, more when he’s not wearing the leather gloves. Your skin is on fire, and he can’t wait to take his armor off.

“Tonight, I will mark you mine” You blush, but you can’t deny the pool of heat forming on your lower half. “You’ll be mine, princess.”

“I am already yours, Din. I’ve always been yours, and you have always been mine” He smiles, and you love the sight.

“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum” he says. And you peck his lips again.

“Let’s go with our baby,” he nods, and both of you walk with your hands tangled.

Because he’s never letting you go.

Grogu is seated, lifting frogs. You giggle, rolling your eyes, so you do him a favor by raising all the frogs in the little pond. He coos loudly, excited, and turns to give you a bright smile. He also looks surprised to see his father without the helmet.

“You have a lot of things to share with me…” he says. You smirk.

“I’ll do it. And I’ll show you many things” He likes the playful way you speak.

“Easy, princess…” you laugh. He kisses your forehead and invites you to sit on the porch of your new house.

“I love you,” you say once again. “Me too, Cyar’ika.”

You take a long breath, finally in peace, taking a rest with your family.

_________________________________

Part 3 on Naboo or what?

Taglist: @frogjumps-world @meowl0ve @flowersgirl02 @chunkcook @miss-goldenweek @secretdazeobservation @foxxymunson @borhapparker @vlysseve @prettysbliss @littleshadow17 @lady-loki-barnes-djarin

#din djarin x reader #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal #din djarin

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winniethewife · 10 days

Text

We were flyin', but we'd never get far (Anakin Skywalker x F!reader)

Warnings: death, angst, sad ending

Words:725

She sat with her head in her hands, the Jedi code said not to form attachments, but when you help raise a child, how else are you supposed to deal with the loss. This was war, and in the last battle she had lost her Padawan and half her battalion. She felt she had failed as a master, failed as a General, Failed as a Jedi. She hardly noticed when someone sat next to her, quietly supporting her.

“It’s not your fault, you know.” The familiar voice of Anakin reaches her ears, they had trained together in the years before the war, It was the best of times, when they were young and naïve. The days that they were carefree.

“You didn't see it, you weren’t there, I…I couldn’t save them…I should have…” She started to cry again, the sobs wrecking her body, she couldn’t hold them back. She couldn’t stop it. She was surprised when suddenly she was wrapped in his embrace.

“Its. Not. Your. Fault.” He says decisively holding her tight. She buried her face in his shoulder as she cries. He rubs her back in a circular motion, holding her tight. Anakin can’t bring himself, to leave her side for several days. Watching as she continues to fall apart at the seams. However it isn’t until the last chance that he realizes shes too far gone. He went to check on her one night to find her room empty, her things tossed around and her lightsabers left on the bed. He bolted out of the room searching for her. Just as he was about to go to find someone to help the search he found her, entering the hangar, a pack over her back and her eyes on the horizon. He called her name and rushed to her side. She turns to look at him, she had been caught.

“What are you doing?” Anakin asked, his voice filled with worry and exasperation, He didn’t understand what was happening where she was going. She hesitates, her eyes never meeting his.

“I’m leaving.” She says, confirming his worst fear. Her voice was so steady so sure.

“What. What do you mean you’re leaving?”

“I have been thinking about it for a while. I needed a reason. I couldn’t abandon my men, My Padawan, But they-” She takes a deep breath, willing herself not to cry again. “They don’t need me anymore.”

“What about me? What if I need you?” Anakin asked panicked, grabbing her hand. Anakin was not very good at keeping attachment out of the picture, and he took her leaving personally. She shook her head, squeezing his hand.

“Oh Ani. Don’t pretend it’s such a mystery, I don’t fit in here, I never have.” She speaks softly, he recognized this tone, the tone she uses when comforting Younglings who scraped their knee, or with a lost child. He can see it clearly, she was meant to be a mother, a wife, someone who could love and care for others. In that life, would he have been able to love her openly? Would they have known each other? It was the great escape, the fantasy in his head where he could have lived that life instead. The one where they were happy. In another time. Another place, another lifetime. He looks around, no one in sight. He pulls her into his arms.

“I wish you would stay. Or I wish I could go with you.” He confesses, his embrace is warm. She wishes that was the way their life would go. That she didn’t need to run that she didn’t need to get away.

“I know. I’m sorry it can’t be that way. I need to feel the light of freedom on my face...” She softly says while pulling away from him. She starts to walk away, he reaches out and grabs her hand.

“If you miss me…Just…Think about the place where you first met me, and I’ll be there. Waiting.” He says this with a knot in his throat, ready to shead a few tears of his own. She gives him a sad smile, a lingering glance, and a final pulse on his hand. She walks away, and gets a few feet away before looking back, her voice reaches his ears one last time.

“Should've known I'd be the first to leave…”

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blushing-in-space · 3 months

Text

Deception

-> anakin skywalker

Summary: [Based on Clone Wars; S4 Ep15] As a Jedi Knight, it’s part of your duty to follow the orders of the Jedi Council, no matter how taxing or dangerous the task. You are given a highly classified mission that not only may end in your death but requires complete secrecy from everyone- Even your lover Anakin Skywalker.

Warnings: ANGST, Death, murder, blood, slight gore, loss of loved ones, grieving process. Probably inaccurate use of the force and force healing

-> I looked at the message before me, brows furrowed. No, this couldn’t be right… Would the Jedi Council ask this of me? Something so classified sounds like it should be a mission of a Jedi Master, not a knight like me.

Mace Windu’s face was all the answer I needed. His eyes were slits as he looked down at me, face set seriously. His fellow council members had a similar expression.

“It is of the utmost importance no word spoken here leaves this room. Is that understood, [name]?” Windu repeats to me.

I have no choice but to nod my head. I serve the Galactic Republic, I cannot let my relationships meddle in my duties as a Jedi Knight.

I bowed my head, “Yes, masters. It will be done.”

——

“What’s the big rush?” Anakin smirks as I carry myself hastily down the dimly lit alleyway we always take when returning to the Jedi Temple from the port.

Ahsoka trails behind us both, thankfully oblivious to Anakin’s wandering hands. I did not agree to her being here and had suggested she take the shuttle home, knowing it would be safer for the young padawan. But like her master, Ahsoka was stubborn and determined to join us for the meeting I had lied about. I feared for her safety- I hope she will not be there when the time comes.

I glance over at Anakin, forcing a playful smile to adorn my lips as I would have in normal circumstances. “I’m not rushing. I’m just trying to get to the council meeting on time.”

I ignore Anakin as he rolls his eyes. “I can see it now- another boring debate I’ll sleep through,” he sighs, though his eyes linger on me and I can’t help but notice it.

We fell for each other when we were just padawans, and have remained loving by one another’s side for almost four years. While I was fairly good at hiding stolen looks and the brush of our hands, Anakin on the other hand doesn’t seem to understand the strategy of hiding our relationship.

He struggles more than I do with our relationship. It frustrates him so easily when he cannot pull me into a kiss after not seeing me for weeks, or to just wrap his arm around me as we walk as I can tell he wants to do now. I’ve known from the start about Anakin’s unusually strong emotional side for a Jedi. That is what makes me especially nervous for tonight.

“Luckily I’ll have you to keep my company,” Anakin mutters to me in a quiet and husky tone, his hand reaching to touch the crease of my waist.

I shoot him a look of warning, glancing over at Ahsoka who was just a few steps behind him. He’s lucky she happened to be looking away and had not looked too deeply into his words.

“If it's so boring for you, would you rather them call you in to train younglings?” I look smugly over my shoulder to Anakin, who grimaces at my comment while Ahsoka huffs a light laugh.

“I think you would enjoy that, master,” Ahsoka quips sarcastically as she steps to Anakin’s side, and he scuffs and looks away from his apprentice.

“As I thought.”

I try to keep up a high-spirited mood while with Anakin before my time comes to act. I see Anakin smiling, his lips parted to make another smart-assed comment. I give him a cheeky smile. After tonight I won’t see him again for yet another long week. And I know that week will be devastating for him.

He doesn’t hide anything from me. He’s told me how he held his mother in his arms and watched the life drain from her eyes. I’m aware he fears the same fate will reach another of his loved ones. Every time I leave for a battle I promise to him I’ll be safe and will return safely to his arms. Now I have been gagged by the Jedi Council from telling him the truth of what I must do. The guilt is almost unbearable having to keep such a secret from my own lover.

Anakin’s blue eyes search mine, I feel him wield the force to poke into my mind. I raise a brow at his perceptiveness. Does he know? I shake him, cutting off his access to my mind through the force. I don’t like it when he does that and he knows it. His brows furrow as he feels the loss of our connection, but he does not pry at my barrier. I nod to him in a silent already broken promise that we will talk later.

Our unspoken words distracted me so much that I almost wouldn’t have sensed the blaster shot coming toward me if Ahsoka had not warned me.

I roll to the side, taking cover behind the nearby crates. I whip my head around to see Anakin and Ahsoka have done the same, both of their backs pinned to the crates opposite of me. My blood pumps furiously through my veins. I should have let the shot take me down. The first and undeniable worst part of my mission would already be over.

“Where’d that shot come from?” Ahsoka yells, voice riddled with panic as she looks from me to the roof of an apartment building in the distance.

I show no concern as I peek my head over the crates, catching a glimpse of the bright blinding light of the sniper who had tried to kill me just then. Who I should have let kill me. My heart would be pounding in my chest if it weren’t for the drug I had taken before leaving that would suppress my heartbeat.

I shake off any fear. I won’t die today- I’m following my orders. My duty as a Jedi comes before anything else. Anakin will understand that when I return. I glance over at him and Ahsoka behind the crates opposite of me, and single them to follow my lead. Neither of them questioned my plan for us to split up over on the rooftop.

I feel Anakin trying to push into my mind as I roll behind the next set of crates, another blaster shot barely missing me. I feel his anxiousness about the situation, either for me being in danger or his padawan, I’m not sure. I just feel guilty for what I’m about to put him through.

I climb to the rooftop, keeping my cover as I deflect a shot back at the assassin to not rouse suspicion. I see Anakin has done as I asked him, for once in his life, and spot him heading to flank the shooter. Ahsoka jumps from rooftop to rooftop, taking the back approach to the shooter. I realize my time is running out to start this mission.

Anakin races on the rooftop across from me, taking cover at the same time as I do. He catches my eyes, blue eyes blazing across the darkness of the Coruscant alleyway. He’s going to dart around to get the shooter. I know he is.

“He’s behind the building!” Ahsoka coms to both me and Anakin, and I know this is where I must end this chase.

Anakin’s head whips around to the building across from us, eyes narrowed and his hand goes to grip his saber. I suck in a breath, closing my eyes as I prepare for the pain. I pray to the Maker the blaster-proof vest will be enough to save me from the real threat of death.

I block Anakin completely from my mind before stepping into the wide-open space as a red light hits my chest.

“[name]!” I hear Anakin scream as the assassin's blaster finally hits me, unexpectedly knocking me so far back I fall from the edge of the building and into sudden darkness.

Ahsoka’s heart sinks seeing Master [name] fall from the edge as she rounds the corner. She looks up to see her Master immediately trying to follow [name], attempting to run from his cover but having to soon duck as a blaster shot flies past his face.

“I got her! Go!” Ahsoka called out to Anakin, hiding the fear in her voice as she looked up at him.

Anakin’s eyes widen as he looks down at her, and his face seems to drain of color for a moment. He’s afraid. Ahsoka so rarely sees real fear on her master's face. No matter the battle or injury. His demeanor never falters. His expression is always lax and words smooth, even as he’s faced with danger, but in this moment Ahsoka does not see that familiar bravery in her master now. That is what scares her the most.

She doesn’t watch long enough to notice how Anakin hesitates for far too long before he chases whoever shot [name], she has no time to do anything but rush to the Jedi Knight's side. [name]’s body is completely limp in a pile of boxes and trash, left arm twisted unnaturally. There’s no blood, but a black mark is burned into the knight’s white-robed chest.

Ahsoka pulls [name]’s body from the rumble, panicking when she does not awake. She lifts the knight's head into her lap but freezes her finger above [name’s] neck to check for a pulse. She fears she knows the answer. Ahsoka has watched people die. Despite her age, she’s a commander- she sees death every day. But never someone so close to her. Someone she regarded as a friend. As a sister.

“Master?” Ahsoka whispers as she finally puts her fingers to the soft spot on [name]’s neck. She gulps as she feels nothing, then tries the curve of her wrist. Then feels nothing again. She sucks in a breath as her eyes become glassy at the sight.

Ahsoka hears Anakin drop from the roof and run down to her. “How is she?” He pants, wild blue eyes looking down at them.

Ahsoka can barely move her head to look up at him, and when she does, she nearly lets tears fall. She doesn’t know if she has the words to say it. She knows Anakin and [name] were padawans together. She knows how close the pair are. She only pretends to be blind to her master’s deep attachment to the other Jedi knight for his sake. That’s why she can hardly hold it together when he crouches down to see [name] completely unresponsive.

“[name]?” Anakin says, voice rattling.

Ahsoka doesn’t fight him as he takes [name] from her arms and holds her in his. He brushes her hair away from her face to reveal her eyes closed with death. Ahsoka watches her master's eyes fill with grief as he clutches her body to him.

“[name]!” He yells louder this time, desperately shaking her shoulders. He puts his hands over the black mark on her chest and continuously presses down on it in a failed attempt to start back [names] still heart. Ahsoka can’t look anymore. She can’t watch her master hopelessly revive a dead woman.

Ahsoka stands and runs away when Anakin calls out her name again, tears now falling from his eyes as he stares at his lover's dead body.

He had to hand her body off to the authorities when they arrived. He had to explain what happened all while pretending he didn’t just lose his wife.

The hardest challenge of his life wasn’t fighting Count Dooku or leading the largest battalion in the Republic Military- it was returning to the Jedi Temple with nothing to show for his lover's existence but her blood on his robes and her lightsaber.

[name] was supposed to come to his quarters tonight after the meeting. They hadn’t seen each other in two weeks, each being assigned to different planets, but each immediately returned to the other, as always. His fears of her usually vanish once he is reunited with her after their respective missions. He always assumes she’s safe when she comes home. He’d never thought of the possibility of her dying on his watch.

He wished he could have been with her body longer, but as soon as he saw the flash of red and blue lights he had to wipe his tears and place her body on the stretcher and watch as the medics pulled the sheet over her. Once the door to his quarters hissed shut he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

He sat at the edge of the bed, and unclipped [names] lightsaber from his belt. He ran his flesh hand along the customized hilt and ignited the saber of his lover. He could almost picture her beautiful face behind the [color] glow, a smirk on her lips before she jumped into battle. His eyes filled with tears as he un-ignited it and the color vanished.

It felt like when his mother died all over again. Again, he failed to protect someone. Again, someone he loved died in his arms. The only difference was there was no one he could get revenge on for the needless death. The assassin had retreated like a coward after firing the blaster. Anakin’s not even sure if the assassin killed her instantly. Perhaps it had been the fall that took her life.

Anakin’s heart ached when sleeping alone that night. He had been looking forward to feeling the warmth of [name] beside him since he had first been sent to Krios. Now he’ll never feel [name] again. If he had just got to the assassin in time she’d still be here!

Anakin’s eyes burned with tears of fury. He had no idea who the shooter was but he would hunt the bastard down after [name]’s funeral. To hell with the Jedi Code- revenge was the only way Anakin could bring himself and Eria peace!

Anakin felt himself slipping, but he had no motivation to crawl back toward the light when [name] wasn’t there waiting for him.

Eria thought she had severed her connection to Anakin, but when she finally woke up she felt the overwhelming grief and anger of her husband. It was so strong for a moment she confused it as her own. Those emotions were quickly replaced by the ache in her chest and the pain of her defiantly broken arm.

Her tears were gulped down as the medical droid healed her wounds. The droid asked if she was experiencing emotional pain, and she had to lie and say it was just her arm. All she could think about was when she fell. She heard Anakin’s scream and felt his tears on her as she played dead in his arms. It took every part of her being to not open her eyes and apologize for what she had done.

The door to my medical room hissed open, and I glanced over to see Master Windu and Master Yoda in the white light.

“I hope my funeral went well,” I mutter as the door slides shut behind them.

I see Master Windu’s eyes narrow at me as I quickly cover my emotions and dry my tears. I had been specially chosen for this classified mission out of everyone else in the Jedi Order, and I wanted to act professionally with the Council member who picked me. Especially because Master Windu was known for his intense belief in the Code.

“A great performance, your corpse played,” Master Yoda says.

I well as funeral can go, I want to add, but am silence by the medical droid sticking a numbing substance into my arm. I looked at the deep bruise on my twisted arm and for a moment wondered if this would even work. I was sacrificing so much just to learn information that may not even be true. Will Anakin even forgive me once this is all over?

“Will go well, the plan will,” Yoda says, sensing my doubt.

“I fell from the top of a building- It better go well,” I huff in pain and remove the blasterproof vest that saved my life.

“Survived worse, you have,” Yoda comforts, and though I know the Jedi Elder is right, it doesn’t help much when my back has turned into one massive bruise.

“Young Skywalker knows this,” Windu says in a firm voice, arms crossed and eyes looking down at me. As if testing to see my reaction.

I breathed deeply and held strong. I wanted to beg for them to let him assist me in the mission or ask how he handled the funeral, but most of all, I wanted to beg to just see him. But it was vital to the integrity of the mission that no one knows- Especially Anakin, who would flare up in anger if he knew I would be walking into the role of a bounty hunter and disguising myself among them, armed with nothing but a blaster.

I know that Master Windu is testing me with his words. Though he picked me for this, I was quickly made aware of his doubts in me when he had to clarify Anakin to me in private not even Anakin may know.

“I took the vital suppressors, you instructed of me, Master. When Anakin moved my body… I was dead to him. It’s impossible that he knows I’m alive,” I assure both of them, though it was clear in my tone it weighed heavily on me to do so.

Yoda hummed in agreement, “Yes- but sense he will, that something is not right.”

I wanted to add that Anakin will have no contact with me as I understand how important it is he is left out of this, but a Jedi Healer enters the room and bows his head, interrupting the conversation. The healer comes to my side to mend my broken arm, and I nod to the Jedi Masters.

“Anakin’s reaction sold the sniper of my death. What has been done is done, and I will carry out the mission as has been asked of me,” I say to Windu with no hesitation and my head held high. He seems surprised for a moment but turns to leave.

“What’s done is done,” he repeats as the healer snaps my arm back into place.

The healer seems to also understand this meeting should remain in confidence. He bows, then leaves soon after I am healed. Finally alone, I begrudgingly accepted it was time to put on the masked disguise of the assassin I will be taking the place of.

I reach down to remove my lightsaber from my belt but feel nothing of the familiar grip I built myself. I look down to see its holster empty but find for the first time since my fall, I feel an absence of worry. I let a sad smile curve my lips as I realize who took it.

I know it’s safe with Anakin.

Notes: Part 2 coming soon! I'm sorry this is a little confusing if you've never watched the episode this is based on 😭

#anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin skywalker #anakin angst #angst #starwars #star wars #starwars fanfic #anakin fanfiction #im sorry if this is bad #unnecessary angst #anakin is sad #xreader #anakin imagine #anakin #starwars prequels #star wars clone wars #the clone wars #idk how to tag

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yourimagines · 9 months

Text

First time

* English is not my first language I apologise

* Gif is not mine

* Triggers: war, violence

- Anakin sees you for the first time during a battle.

Y/N POV

“Come on master!” My padawan screams at me. “Be patience Killian!” I run up to him and fought next to him. “Don’t push to hard, you will get surrounded.” “Of course master.” I nodded at him as we both walked forward. “Master Y/L/N, we need to set up a camp here, there are to many wounded.” I nodded “of course commander.” “Killian we will have a small break here, look if you can help them.” I pointed at the troops. “ of course master.” And he run off to help. As I walked through the camp to the group of other Jedi masters. “Master Y/L/N, good to see you.” Master Kenobi said. “Good to see you too master Kenobi.” He smiled as he pointed at a young padawan. “This Ahsoka, padawan from Skywalker.” I nodded at her. She shyly smiled at me. “My master thinks your cute.” She whispered at me. “Sometimes you need to keep a secret a secret Ahsoka, you never know who will be listening.” I whispered back with a small smile on my face. She nods. “Ahh there he is, Anakin this master Y/L/N, she just got the rank and a padawan, first mission together.” Anakin walked to me and gave me a hand. “Nice to meet you.” “Nice to meet you too.” Master Kenobi walked away with Ahsoka to commander Cody. “Your padawan is not so good with keeping secrets.” His face fell a bit. “What did she say..” “that her master thinks I’m cute.” He gets a small blush on his cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Ahsoka is a difficult padawan to deal with, I’m sorry if’s she offended you.” “No.. it’s okay, if I may be honest I think your handsome.” He looked at me like he didn’t understand. “I’m sorry I thought this was against the Jedi code.” I nodded. “But they don’t have to know, besides I don’t agree with everything they say.” He smiles. “Finally someone who’s thinking the same what I’ve been thinking.” “But keep those thoughts for yourself Anakin, your padawan likes to talk.” As I nodded at her direction. “Yeah, I try but she’s smart.” “Be her master not her friend, they count on us Skywalker.” Then I heard Killian calling me. “Master, we need to move.” “Of course, it was nice to meet you Skywalker.” I nodded at him and walked into the fight with my padawan besides me.

#x reader #imagines #imagine #hayden christensen x reader #hayden christensen imagine #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker imagine #star wars x reader #star wars imagine

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darthxdaddi · 1 year

Text

Meditation Chamber

Darth Vader x fem!reader

Notes: Sooo Vader has been heavy on my mind lately and with @hanasnx 's recent asks, I can't help but write about him. This is all completely unrealistic and made up in my mind, not canon for the most part.

Word count 1.8k

Warnings: 18+ (MINORS DNI!) Vader is passionate towards reader?, Fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), dick riding, thigh riding, pet names/distasteful names (star, pet, slut, little one, etc), burnt Vader, size kink kinda?, it's smutty, nothing else to it.

Being the eager girl you are, you seek out Vader who is in his quarters as usual, meditating in his chambers to get a chance to relax and breathe without that dreaded respirator mask. You didn't care a bit about how your lover looked under that mask and suit, he was glorious in your eyes. Making your way to him, you begin thinking about how he would react if you interrupted his meditation time. Would he lash out? Or fuck you mercilessly until you couldn't walk for a few days? Maybe he would choke you out if he's in a bad mood? No of course not, you are his Star. His pride and joy! The only thing that keeps him somewhat sane in this universe. Vader is a cruel man, but he's no monster towards you. Of course he can be cold and demanding, but you were once the Padawan of Anakin Skywalker before his downfall. The two of you were unstoppable, the young Jedi knight who was only 20 at the time, took you in after your former mentor died in the battle of Geonosis. You waited until he had completed his trials, at the time of your training with Anakin, you were 18. Though you never finished your training under Skywalker's instruction, he was defeated by Darth Vader in 19 BBY. You were loyal to your master and always had been, the decision to abandon the Jedi religion was hard, but what choice did you have? The Jedi were no more.

You continued down the long halls to the quiet quarters of Lord Vader, swiping open the door softly and calling out cautiously, "My dear, do you have a minute?" You stood like a statue for a moment until the chamber door opened. Vader looked at you with his blank stare and only patted his lap, inviting you into his intimate space. You swiped the metal door closed and locked it before walking towards the large man that awaited you. Crawling into his lap, Vader closed the chamber shut and waited for your proposal. "You seem tense my Lord, can I help you relieve that?" You said trying to be seductive. A slight smile began to arise on his face but quickly dropped as usual, "I think this is for your own pleasure little one, but I wouldn't mind partaking in your game." Vader rasped in his monotone voice, only this time it was his natural voice and not the one coming from his mask, which made it all the better. You smiled softly and took in his features, which you found beautiful. Vader grabbed your face and smirked ever so slightly into a kiss. The kiss was sloppy and passionate, something that never really happens between the two of you. Usually it's rough and purely lustful. You basked in the moment, cupping the side of his scarred face with your small hand. Vader wasted no time getting into the nitty gritty, he removed your pants along with the barely-there undergarments you had on and placed his large gloved thumb onto your clit and began circling it. Gods this felt so good to you, it was rare that Lord Vader was tender and gentle with you. Tiny moans escaped your mouth as he applied more pressure to your sensitive bud. You bucked your hips in an attempt to release the tension within your body. Vader completely stopped his actions and glared at you, "My darling you know your place, don't act like a slut that demands more than what she receives." He growled lowly, placing you one knee and waited for you to realize your fate. "If you wish to have this pleasure continue, you will ride my thigh like the whore you are being. Then and only then will you prove that you are a good enough girl to receive my fingers again." The sith was so close to your ear that you could feel his breath grazing your cheek. "Yes master..." You replied back sheepishly, rolling your hips on to the large thigh of the dark lord. Vader sat back and watched at you patheticly shifted on the fabric of his pants. The sight of this embarrassing show got the best of him, Vader grabbed your hip to guide you on his thigh. You closed your eyes tightly as this moment felt too shameful to be shared lovingly, though your lover thought it was a wonderful, messy sight. "Open your eyes my dear, I want you to look into my very soul whilst you put on this show for me." Vader said smoothly, removing his hand from your hip which forced you to continue on your own. After a while of the same back and fourth movement you made no progress towards your orgasm. The sith didn't dare touch you, though he did bend the force to his will and used the phantom energy to play with your clit, encouraging your everlong release. Sadly, it never came. After all your hard work building up to this moment, the cruel man stopped your movement. "You've had enough of my torture, Star." With that, Vader positioned you with your back against his chest and spread your jelly like legs apart. He smirked at the full display he got when he looked down. Bare breasts, glistening pussy, and a desperate look on your face that stared back at him.

The sith continues with his previous actions. He finally gave into your lustful needs and dipped his colossal middle finger into your cunt, pumping in and out like the perverted sex toy he caught you with just the other day, "Look at that, fills you up just as that pathetic toy did." Vader chuckled lowly, amused by how tiny you are compared to him. You bit your lip and nodded in agreement, watching how your lovers finger fucked you. Vader loved the way you admired his skills, though he loved the way you looked at him helplessly even more. He added his ring finger in, making sure your stretched at prepped for him. You gasped at the second digit and held onto his shoulder plate for support. Vader then curled his fingers into your sweet spot, grabbing your jaw to make you face him as he sped his pace. Your mouth hung in an "O" as you were paralyzed by pleasure. The sith smuggly smirked as he placed his thumb into your mouth, wiping the pooled spit down your chin. "Such a good pet for me, so willing to please and endure my commands." He cooed, kissing your forehead. You squirmed and wiggled around in the dark lord's lap as he thrusted his fingers faster, causing you to burry your face in his wide chest. "My love, I can't bare much more of this. It feels too good I can't hang wait any longer!" You bellowed out into his chest. Vader looked down at you, his sith eyes turning to his natural blue as he said, "I'm feeling generous tonight my little star, you may cum. Although, you won't be stopping anytime soon." He flashed a quick devilish smile ending his sentence. You looked up at like a lost puppy, so drunken with pleasure you couldn't form words. After being pumped a few too many times you had finally had enough as you were too sensitive to continue with the finger fucking, "May I cum, master?" You whined at him, tears beginning to pool in your sockets. "Go ahead little one, you've been such a good girl for me." The sith groaned lowly. You released. Finally after all of that build up your orgasm came crashing down. Vader kissed the back of your neck and mumbled, "Good girl, that is such a good girl." You let out a shuttered breath and looked at Lord Vader. "More please." You said with those puppy eyes that got you anything you wanted, as you were Vader's princess and he could never truly deny you. He gave you the ok to remove his aching dick from his pants, you kneeled in front of him and removed his trousers.

Vader's cock slapped his stomach as it sprung out from the tight garment. You couldn't help but admire his glorious dick, so big and all yours, you wrapped your hand around the base and slowly stroked it teasingly. Vader growled at your actions and grabbed a fist full of your hair, pulling you head down as he force you to look at him. "If you wish to continue with our game, you will not act like such a brat. Do you understand pet?" The sith spat at you. You whimpered the words, "yes sir, I understand." You placed your mouth around his dick and pumped the remaining inches you couldn't fit in your hand. Vader tightened his drip on your hair as he bucked his hips into your face. Once again, tears started formed in your eyes as the girth and length of him was too much, air flow became restricted. The sith pulled you off of his length to allow you to breathe for a moment before forcing you back onto him. Finally he let go and gave you control of his dick. You bobbed your head, suckled, and spit on his cock; making a mess of yourself and your lover. Vader smirked at you, stroking your hair and softly bucking his hips along with your movements. "You're so eager and messy my sweet, I truly can't get enough of you." Vader praised, patting your head gently. He pulled you away from his sex again and stated, "You are doing such an amazing job darling, though I want to save my cum for our love." He placed you back into his lap and sat you on his length. Gasps and groans poured lewdly out of both of your mouths. You looked into his captivating blue eyes as your hips began grinding and his hips began thrusting. Vader grabbed your hips and pulled you impossibly close to his figure, kissing your plump lips as the two of you passionately fucked each other. You buried your face into the chest of your lover while he held that back of your head tenderly. As you got tired, Vader flipped you around to face away from him, hooking his hands under your legs and fucked into you himself. He placed breathless kisses on your neck, even sucking on it a few times to remind you who's you are. The echoing sounds of skin slapping and 'I love yous' bounced off of the chamber walls. The emotions being poured into this very moment was worth every bit of Vader's wasted time. It was rare that the sith got to have sex with you in a state where he felt somewhat comfortable in. It was truly sweet, the two of you making such love, love that hadn't been shared in a long time.

Aaaah, so here it is! I've been putting off posting this because I have never written for Vader and I wanted it to be as authentic as possible even with it being head canon. I wanted to show a sweeter side of Vader that nobody else sees, but also somewhat demanding as usual. As always, I hope everyone enjoys this short one-shot and feel free to pm or ask with any suggestions for future writing, or tips overall <3

#darth vader smut #darth vader x reader #star wars smut #darth Vader x fem!reader #IMKINDAINSECUREABOUTHISONEPLEASEBENICE

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introspectivememories · 5 months

Text

what's wrong with data analyst bernard?

summary: tim's a workaholic ceo. bernard is, to put it simply, a down-on-his-luck loser with a kid to take care of. somewhere along the line, they meet. (very loosely based on the 2018 hit kdrama, "what's wrong with secretary kim?")

A/N: for @chamiryokuroi bc this fanart has given me brainrot since the moment i saw it. but also bc, i missed writing and your art helped. i hope you like it. (more notes at the end.)

Today is a good day, Bernard thinks happily, brand new ID badge bouncing on his tie. It's his first day at Wayne Ent. and Mori had sent him off with a hug and muttered, "have a good day, Tou-san." It's been bouncing around in his head all day. Tou-san, Tou-san, Tou-san, he's really a dad now. He's got to make sure Mori has everything he needs and this new job is going to make sure he can do that.

Shaking his head once to clear it, he takes a sip of the complimentary coffee a team member bought him for his first day. His team leader, Young-joon Lee, is taking him on a tour of the building. Young-joon is a wonderful man in his late 30s but it's very clear that he's been consumed by the office lifestyle.

"...and here is our magnificent lobby!" Young-joon is saying as he tunes back in. His team leader spreads his arms wide out as he speaks, "Everyone knows the lobby but it's my personal philosophy that making friends or at least being on amicable terms with the ground floor staff will make your life easier."

Bernard laughs politely, "I know what you mean. I can't tell you how many times being nice to the host at the restaurant I used to work at saved my butt during rush hour."

"A man after my own heart!" Young-joon says, smiling widely as he leads him to the help desk.

Bernard tilts his head up to look at the skylight. It's a gorgeous thing with little animal motifs running alongside it. It lights up the lobby bringing a welcoming feeling into it. With the sunlight pouring into the room, along with the din of busy workers in slacks running to and fro, it really feels like stepping into a movie.

Are you seeing me Darls?, he thinks with a childlike glee, hand coming up to thumb at his badge again, I made it!

"This, my friend," Young-joon says, pulling up to the help-desk, "is our wonder-duo. Tamara and Abhishek. They practically run this building. Lord knows we'd be tripping all over ourselves without them."

Tamara and Abhishek smile as they get introduced.

"They run this building?" he asks confusedly.

"You see, young padawan," Abhishek says, "not only do we help the people that come in here asking questions or for instructions, we also answer any questions the staff has for us."

"Things like, 'What's HR’s number?' or 'Can you page Data for me?' or 'No seriously, I'm calling HR on this man right now. What is their number?'" Tamara says grinning.

Bernard laughs. It feels like that's all he's been doing since he got here. "You have to tell me the story on that one day."

"Sorry," Tamara says, faux-apologetic, "the minimum clearance on that story is half-a-year. Gotta level up."

His cheeks hurt from smiling. This is his and Mori's new beginning. This is where they level up. Nothing's gonna stop him now.

"Do you know the story behind that one?" he asks, turning to Young-joon.

"Of course! But where would be the fun in telling you? You have to stay the six months and if luck comes my way, longer."

"You want me for longer?"

"Of course, I saw the way you worked during those practice problems in the interview. I had to fight the other team leaders for you. It was brutal."

"Get back I say!" Young-joon says, miming a sword fight. A pleased warmth builds in his chest; they wanted him, they wanted him!

Darls you better be fucking watching this. I'm movin' up in the world.

"Ooh, send me that footage. I wanna see our newest recruits skills," Abhishek says.

"You got the data team fighting over you?" Tamara asks, eyebrows raised, "I wanna see it—"

Whatever she was going to say is cut off by the sound of both of their pagers pinging. Immediately going stock still, they start typing on their computers.

Bernard turns to Young-joon confused but his team leader looks like nothing is out of the ordinary.

"The boss is coming." Young-joon says, like that's a reasonable explanation for two people shutting down in the middle of the conversation, "It's always quite a spectacle and they always have to notify the other execs. Just watch."

Still, the boss? Maybe Bruce Wayne will say 'hi' to him and he'll charm the CEO and Mr. Wayne can figure out a way to—

No, no. He's done making those kinds of fantasies. Nobody is coming to help. Bernard is going to figure out his life on his own, he is going to take such good care of his kid, and he is not going to wait for some rich billionaire to swoop in and take care of him. He got this far didn't he? He'll get even farther.

He and his team leader lean against the help desk sipping coffee as they wait for the CEO to come in and sure enough, a black Rolls Royce pulls up to the driveway in the front. The minute the door opens, flashes from the paparazzi's cameras start going off. Out steps a bodyguard in a black suit with an umbrella opened. From below the umbrella he sees a nice pair of brown loafers step out. The CEO seems to be wearing a navy blue suit today. The paparazzi roars and the flashes increase.

"Oh wow," a man remarks a few feet away from him, "the circus is strong today, huh?" His friend laughs.

A woman wearing red heels steps out after the CEO, the paparazzi flashes decrease dramatically. More bodyguards exit after the woman and form a square around the CEO and his assistant/secretary. They shuffle towards the entrance where he sees the elderly doormen greet the executives with a smile. Whatever they say is lost to the sound of the city but the doormen laugh and push the doors open.

Young-joon's been making small talk throughout the entrance and Bernard tries to keep up but whatever the hell is going on at the entrance is way more interesting than anything his team leader is talking about. As they enter the guards spread out and dissolve the square. The woman comes into view first, red heels with a black slacks and a white button down. She's holding a long coat in one hand and a laptop bag slung over her shoulder. She's gorgeous and clearly the one in charge, going by the way she barks orders at the guards.

Young-joon says something and he turns around to respond, grabbing his coffee cup off the desk counter. His CEO's loafers tap across the lobby's marble floor, something about it is comforting. A lull in the room's conversations causes the CEO's voice to carry over.

"...Tam, make sure the quarterly reports are on my desk by at least 4 today and make sure to push back the sales meeting by 30 minutes to an hour, the board wants to talk — Oh Mr. Bardakcı! Thank you for stay—..."

Bernard's heart jackrabbits in his chest. He knows that voice but- it can't be. It's not possible; he chose Wayne Enterprises for a reason. He's not supposed to be here. He's supposed to be at his father's company. Unless... there was a merger? No, that seems like the kind of thing the news wouldn't've shut up about. He would've known.

When was the last time you had time to sit down and read the news, Bear? Darls says inside his head

She's right. With filing for custody of Mori and graduating from college and the job search, he hasn't had time for much else. It's entirely possible that he could've missed one of the biggest mergers of the decade.

Fuck, Fuck.

He wasn't supposed to be here. Bernard was supposed to be moving on. He was supposed to be building a life for himself away from the shadows of his childhood. He was supposed to be forgetting that Tim Drake ever existed.

He has to make sure though. Turning his body around, he prays that it's not the man he thinks it is. But sure enough, there stands Tim Drake, resplendent in a navy blue suit and a golden tie.

Golden ties for golden boys, he thinks absentmindedly.

The suit fits him perfectly, stretching across his shoulders and wrapping around his waist. Even the tie looks knotted perfectly. How long did it take him to learn, Bernard wonders. He could never get it right back in high school. Does his assistant Tam do it- no, no! This is why he didn't apply to Drake Industries. Bernard can't do anything around Tim and Tim is never going to care enough about him to stay.

Tim's head seems to be turning in his direction and Bernard whips his head back to make sure Tim doesn’t even catch a glimpse of him. His hand twitches violently enough that the coffee cup falls out of his hand and spills all over the floor. The cup rattles deafeningly on the floor. Bernard can't fucking breathe.

"-ernard? Bernard!" his team leader's voice cuts through the haze in his head. Young-joon looks concerned, "Are you okay?"

He blinks slowly, "...What?"

"I said, 'Are you okay?’ You look like you've seen a ghost?"

No, Bernard thinks, seeing Darls would be preferable to whatever level of hell I've found myself in.

"I'm—, I'm fine." he says rather unconvincingly. His eyes dart back to the spill, "What am I saying? There's a large puddle of coffee on the floor. I—, I should get some paper towels for that."

"Do you have any paper towels, Wonder-Duo?" he asks, trying desperately to ignore Tamara and Abhishek's concerned looks.

"I already called the custodial staff," Tamara says slowly, like she’s trying not to spook him, "but if it makes you feel any better," she pulls out a huge stack of paper towels, "go crazy, I guess."

Bernard takes a handful of paper towels and gets to work. The cleaning is meditative and with each swipe of the paper towel, the puddle gets smaller. Bernard pretends the puddle is his feelings for Tim. Swipe, forget about the 4pm milkshakes and his laughter when Darls snorted milk out of her nose. Swipe, don't think about the way he used to smell. Swipe, he left and never looked back; you don't look back either.

The tap, tap, tap of loafer on marble is getting closer to them for some reason. Why is it getting closer? Does it not have staff meetings, market research, and people to leave behind?

"What is going on here?" Tim asks.

"Nothing much, sir." Abhishek responds, "Newbie just spilled some coffee."

Abhishek, no!

"Oh is that all? And he took the initiative to start cleaning instead of waiting for the custodial staff. You made a good choice, Young-joon."

"Thank you, sir!" Young-joon says, "I was taking him on the tour when you came in. Most newbies love the show so I thought we'd stop here for a little bit."

Tim laughs. Bernard hates that his heart still skips a beat at the sound.

A pair of brown loafers and a wool-covered knee slowly appear in his vision. Why is Tim crouching in front of him? Why won't this man leave him alone?

"This looks like quite a lot of work, let me help."

You can help by leaving me the hell alone, he thinks uncharitably.

"I hope you found the facilities to your liking," Tim continues, like he hadn't heard Bernard's thoughts, "My name is Tim Drake-Wayne, CEO."

I know, he wants to say. I know you're Tim Drake. I know you like to skateboard and that you stared at Tony Hawk's photo for an hour every day in high school ‘cause didn't want to be one of those people who didn't recognize him. I know you struggled with your dad not really being there. I know you loved Mrs. Winters as much as you loved your mom. I know that you like history more than any other subject even though your best was always math.

Bernard says nothing instead.

Tim laughs awkwardly and Bernard knows he isn't helping the conversation along but whatever, he's allowed to be petty, right?

"I assure you, whatever you heard in the tabloids and the news, isn't true. I promise I won't bite…," Tim’s voice trails off as Bernard lifts his head.

"...Bernard?" Tim whispers, he looks like he's seen a ghost.

Bernard tries for a smile, he's pretty sure it comes out looking like a grimace.

"Sir," he says nodding curtly, hands still moving to sweep up the coffee puddle.

Tim's hand reaches out to touch his face, as if to make sure Bernard is really there. Bernard recoils as Tim's hand grazes his cheek. Tim's hand hangs in the air uselessly.

"Bernard?" Tim says again, as if to make sure his eyes aren't playing tricks on him.

"That's my name, Sir," he says through clenched teeth, "don't wear it out."

He can feel Young-joon and the Wonder-Duo's confused stare but he says nothing. What would he even say, really?

Hey, this is my old friend Tim Drake? Hey, I used to know him like the back of my hand? Hey, our best friend died and it feels like I'm the only one still grieving? Hey, in my junior year, five different gangs shot up my school and my best friend died in my arms and he left and I had to pick up the pieces by myself? Hey, I'm the idiot that's still in love with Tim Drake?

The clack of Tam's heels comes as a welcome distraction.

"Tim!" she says, grabbing his arm and pulling him away, "What the hell do you think you're doing? We have to go talk to the board. Build rapport with your employees later."

Tim stumbles to his feet, "Yes, but—, I—, This is—"

He sounds like he's glitching. Bastard. Is it really such a surprise to see Bernard in a well paying job? Even Tam is starting to look a little concerned now.

"Explain later," she commands, dragging Tim behind her. Bernard keeps his head down and continues wiping up the coffee puddle. Sneaking a glance upward shows him that Tim keeps turning back around to stare at him.

For a moment their eyes meet, brown against blue. 'Bernard?' he sees Tim mouth. Bastard, saying his name so many times. Doesn't he know what that does to Bernard? Why does Tim insist on breaking his heart again and again and again? Was once not enough?

He's tired of putting these walls up and just for a second, he lets them come down. Let Tim see the entirety of his brokenness. Tim already has his heart, he can have this too.

'Tim' he mouths back, smiling sadly. Tim looks stunned and the rage that had been simmering in his gut begins to boil over.

Do you see what I've become? Do you see how thoroughly Grieves ruined me? Is this not your doing too? Why did you leave? Have you ever visited Darla? Why was it so easy for you to not look back? Was I not your friend? Or was it just a time pass? Why wasn't I enough for you to stay?

He watches until the elevator doors close, separating him from Tim once again. His body sags like a marionette cut from its strings and his fingers clench uselessly around the coffee soaked paper towels. A hand lands on his shoulder and he flinches.

"Hey, hey," Young-joon soothes from where he's crouched right next to him. When did Young-joon crouch down? How much time has he missed? "It's just me, Bernard. Are you okay? What was that? Does our CEO know you?"

He exhales shakily. He needs to get out of here. He needs to sob hard enough he throws up. He needs the steady press of a knife on his back. He needs things he's not allowed to have anymore.

Bernard shoots up so fast the world spins around him. holding onto the desk for support, he tries to smile at his team leader. It stretches across his face misshapenly.

"I'm—, I'm sorry," he says stumbling over his words in a rush to get them out, "I have to—"

He has to what? Pretend to not see Darls out of the corner of his eye? Pretend like his hands don't have blood on them? Pretend like he isn't seeing bullet wounds every time he closes his eyes?

"—go to the bathroom," he finishes lamely. Gathering up all of the paper towels, he walks away dazedly, ignoring Young-joon's calls behind him. He shoves the towels in the nearest trashcan, letting his feet lead him to the nearest bathroom.

The bathroom is thankfully empty when he enters and he locks the door behind him. Sliding down the door, he exhales shakily. There's not enough air in this room; he can't breathe. The fluorescent lights hum above their coverings. The one on the left flickers. Who's bright idea was it to install school lights in a business office's bathroom?

The world outside the bathroom rushes on too loudly. Somebody is talking about their vacation. Someone is bemoaning their presentation today. His chest is getting tighter. His hands come up to tug on his hair. Why can't he breathe?

The exhales are coming quicker and quicker. Something comes tapping down the hallway. It's the gunmen, it has to be. A quick glance down tells him all he needs to know: he's covered in blood.

It's Lila's, he thinks dazedly, I had to carry her into the office. Or no, it's Olu's. I held him when he died. He said, he said, what did he say?

Why can't he remember? He hits his head with the heel of his palm.

Think he tells himself, we have to tell Olu's parents what he said. He said—, he said—.

His body sags.

Oh now he remembers. He said, "I don't wanna die Bernard."

A whimper tears itself out of his throat and he slaps a palm over his mouth. There's blood smeared across his face now, he must look like he walked out of a slasher film. He has to be quiet. if he's too loud, the gunmen will find them and then they'll all be dead.

Cry quietly, he tells himself, Darls doesn't need—

Darla! How could he forget about Darla with a hole in her gut? He needs to get to her. Lurching forward, he scrabbles across Mrs. Castillo's linoleum floor. He's smearing Olu's blood everywhere. Why won't Nikhil stop fucking crying so loudly? Goddamn freshmen and their hysterics. Where is Tim? Is he safe? He can't lose both friends today, please Lord, please.

BANG!

A violent flinch tears through his body. He sobs audibly this time, gagging on his spit. It's the gunmen, it has to be. He hasn't even held Darls' hand or counted Tim's moles for the last time. Where are the Darls? She shouldn't be alone. She doesn't like violence like this.

"Why didn't you save me, Bear?" a voice asks from behind him.

He freezes. Slowly he turns around and nearly yells in shock. Falling back on his butt, he stares up at his friend.

(He has to be quiet, he has to be quiet, he has to be quiet-)

Darls is standing behind him still in her crop top and cargo pants. Her once smooth midsection, bloodied and warped. The bullet wound still drips blood.

Plink, plink, plink.

Bernard hates the scent of iron.

"Why didn't you save me, Bear?" she asks, her voice echoing, "I thought we were friends."

There’s blood dripping down the side of her mouth. Now he remembers, the blood on him isn’t Olu’s or Lila’s — although there is that too — it’s almost overwhelmingly Darla’s. He’s covered in it. Elbows deep in it. It streaks up his arms like a macabre tattoo. He wore a white shirt to school today. The stains will never come out. He is Carrie at the end of prom, mortified and humiliated.

He crawls backwards until his back hits the wall, the impact knocking him out of the worst of that night. He's back in the bathroom. The lights hum loudly overhead. Darla hasn’t left yet.

She tilts her head, “Why didn’t you help me, Bear? I thought we were friends.”

“We are,” he rasps out, “we are friends.”

“Are we?” her eyes have no pupils. His Darls had eyes that shone in the sunlight. His Darls is dead. “Then why am I still bleeding? Why am I still hurting? Why is there a bullet in my stomach, Bear?!”

She’s shouting by the end and he flinches. His hands can’t seem to stop tugging at his hair. The blood must’ve smeared all over it. Talk about taking strawberry blond literally.

“I swear I did everything I could Darls,” he sobs out quietly, voice cracking, “I followed all of Mrs. Castillo’s instructions as best I could. I put pressure and tied the dressing as tight as I could.”

“You thought that was enough?” she snarls, hands coming down to grip the wound. It twists grotesquely; he gags, “You think any of that matters when I’m dead and you’re still alive?”

“Please, please. You know I wouldn’t leave you to die, Darls. Please, please, please believe me.”

“Liar, liar!” she screams, blood dripping out of her mouth onto her pink LOVE shirt. It darkens as each drop hits it. Soon it’ll be completely drenched and she’ll be drowning in it. Where did his smiling friend go? “I’m dead, Bear! I’m dead, dead, dead and it’s all your fault! Why didn’t you save me?! Why didn’t you save me?!”

He keens, body curling in on itself. One hand goes down to press on his throat; he’s making too much noise. Nikhil’s just a freshman. He shouldn’t have to die just because Bernard couldn’t shut up for once in his life.

“Please,” he whispers raggedly, “I tried, I tried. I swear I tried, Darls.”

“It hurts, Bear,” she sobs. Darla’s too young to be sounding so wrecked, “It hurts so much. Please help me.”

All of sudden, it’s too much. The taste of iron sits heavy on his tongue and Darla won’t stop sobbing. His fingers fumble for his phone and he presses one. It rings once, twice and finally on the third ring does a voice answer.

“Bear?” the other side says groggily.

“Ty please, I can't do this anymore,“ he sobs.

Tyrone suddenly sounds a lot more alert, “Bear what’s going on?”

“Darla won’t stop crying and she keeps on screaming that it’s my fault she died.” he wails, “I know I should’ve done more but please, can you tell her I tried? That I stayed with her until the end? She won’t listen to me, Ty. She won’t listen to me.”

There’s a muffled yell of ‘Babe!” on the other end. “Yeah,” Ty breathes out, “I’ll tell her.”

“You put me on speaker, okay?” Ty instructs, “And you gotta tell me if she’s nodding or if she’s gone or if she said anything, alright? I can’t see her.”

“Okay,” he whispers, pulling the phone away from his ear to press the speaker button.

“You tell me when to start, Bear,” he says, voice filling the bathroom. Darla looks up from where she’s sobbing.

“You can start now Ty,” he rasps out, holding the phone out.

“Hey Darla,” Ty says, “Bear told me you said a lotta mean things about him. Stuff like, ‘he’s the reason you died’ and that ‘he never cared’. Darla, you gotta believe me when I say Bear never stopped caring. He held your hand the whole way through. Told you stories about all the things you two were gonna do once you got out of that nurse’s office. He tried, Darla, honest. I’ve never seen him as focused as when you stopped breathing and Mrs. Castillo had him give you CPR. He couldn’t stop sobbing the whole time.”

“But I’m still dead,” she says.

“But I’m still dead,” he repeats.

Ty inhales sharply, “Yeah,” he says thickly, “you are. And I’ll never stop being sorry about that. But you can’t take that out on Bear. He’s just trying to live his life.”

Darls’ face twists up like a childs, “But it hurts,” she cries.

“But—, but it hurts,” he repeats, voice hitching.

Ty curses, “Oh, fuck. I can’t do this. Babe, can you—?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Hey, Darla. It’s me, Jimmy from the football team. I don’t know if you remember me but I remember you. After high school, me and Tyrone ended up getting married. Somewhere between shitty weed brownies and bad college parties, we fell in love. Isn’t that nice?”

Darls nods; he tells them as such.

“We visited you after the ceremony. I hope you felt that wherever you are these days. But the point I’m trying to make is that from all I’ve told you just now, you can probably figure out that Ty and I didn’t go pro like we planned. The shooting fucked up Ty’s knee and and my arm. After the hospital stays, playing football for a whole bunch of people just didn’t sound appealing anymore. We’re high school teachers now. Ty teaches math and I teach gym. When it rains or gets cold, my arm and Ty’s knee hurts like hell. But Darla, it doesn't hurt forever. It gets better, I promise.”

“Darla,” Jimmy says, voice unusually serious, “you’re right, you are dead and it does hurt. I’m sorry, I’ll never stop being sorry. I don’t know if it’ll ever go away for you; I’m not too much of an expert on the supernatural. Ty’s the smart one, after all. But I love you, Ty loves you, Bear loves you. I hope that when it hurts the most you can use that as a balm.”

“Auntie Bea loves you too!” Ty’s mom hollers from the background, “Aunt Betty, too!”

Ty laughs wetly and Jimmy snorts, “Does that sound okay?” they ask.

Darls smiles, her teeth stained red from all the blood that built up in her mouth. Bernard misses her with an ache he feels in his bones. Darls nods.

“She nodded,” he says quietly. He blinks once and she’s gone. Where did she go? Doesn’t she know that the gunmen are still at large? She needs to be somewhere safe. He can’t lose a friend today.

“Bear, Bear, you gotta breathe. Take a deep breath for me, c’mon,” Jimmy says.

“She’s gone, Jim. She’s gone again. Why does she keep leaving?” he says, crying. His body can’t stop trembling. How long has he been here? How much time has he missed?

“I miss the cult,” he whispers, “I never had things like this happen when I was with them.”

“Yeah,” Ty snaps, “‘Cause you were high off of like 50 different pain meds ‘cause you let them whip you.”

“Ty, not helping.”

“Move over, let me talk to him."

"Hey, sweetheart," Auntie Bea's voice crackles through his tiny speaker, "I know you're tired and I know you're hurting. I know you miss the cult but you gotta breathe for me, okay? You're gonna pass out otherwise."

"I can't, I can't," he gasps out.

"Sure you can, you just gotta tell me five things you can see. Can you list those five things for me?"

Bernard desperately tries to get his breathing under control, "The sink is dirty."

"Good, good. Anything else?"

"The tiles need to be re-grouted."

Aunt Betty barks out a laugh. Bernard's lips twitch upward.

"Keep going."

"My pants, my white shirt, my ID badge," he rattles off.

They talk him through the rest of the grounding techniques and by the time he feels like he's in control again, he's exhausted. His eyes hurt and his throat is dry.

"Can you tell us why you spiraled so hard, Bear? This hasn't happened in a long time," Jimmy asks.

"I spoke to Tim again," he says simply. He pushes himself up onto his feet and walks over to the sink. Setting the phone down on the counter, he grips the sink with both hands and just breathes. The Bernard in the mirror looks like he just came out of a warzone, eyes haunted, hair messed up.

"Oh fuck," Ty says, "Where did you even meet him?"

"At my new job at Wayne Ent."

"Why would you apply there?" Jimmy asks, stressed.

"I didn't know! It's not like I've had a lotta time in the past few years to check the news!"

"Well, whatever, what’s done is done." Ty says, ever practical, "Are you going to quit?"

"No!” he says vehemently.

“No,” he repeats quieter, “Wayne has the best benefits and Mori needs that. I’ll just suck it up and try to avoid him.”

“Don’t be fucking stupid,” Aunt Betty says.

“Ma!”

“Oh be quiet Jimmy. I’ve never heard of a more stupider thing. He’s your CEO, Bear, and he knows you work there. He’s obviously going to want ‘to catch up’ or whatever. There is no avoiding him. Can you handle that?”

What can he say? Aunt Betty is right. He can’t handle talking to Tim. Even seeing Tim felt like touching a live wire. He can’t deal with another episode. Mori doesn’t need him to be fucked up, Mori needs him to be the stable adult he promised the courts he was.

“You can’t, sweetheart,” she says softly, “you can’t handle it.”

There’s some shuffling on the other end of the phone.

“Bear,” Ty says gently, “I love you, man. You’re my brother. Jimmy loves you, Mama loves you, Aunt Betty loves you. But you gotta start thinking about therapy.”

“I know, I know,” he sighs, “I shouldn’t’ve dragged you into this. I’m—”

Ty cuts him off with an exasperated huff, “It’s not about that Bear. I’ll keep talking to your hallucinations for as long as you need me too. Even when we’re seventy, I’ll do it for you. I don’t care about that. I care about you and I want you to be happy and healthy. I don’t want you to keep seeing Darla. I don’t want you to keep trying to scrub the blood off your hands.

“And I know you’ve been avoiding therapy ‘cause you don’t got the money and ‘cause talking about your problems is scary but it’s not just you anymore. You got Mori now. That custody claim is going through. You can’t just avoid things ‘cause they’re hard now. You work at Wayne now; that paycheck is more than enough to set a few dollars aside each month to save up for therapy. Hell, mental health probably comes with your medical benefits. Please, Bear. If you can’t get help for you, then do it for us, for Mori. Please stop making us watch you hurt.”

Bernard exhales shakily.

“I never wanna find you the way we did after the cult, Bear. I never wanna see you in the hospital bed like that again. Please don’t do that to us, please,” Ty whispers.

Unconsciously, his hand comes up to rub at the scar left behind from the sacrifice. It stretches along the length of his sternum, jagged and rough. On good days, he can pretend that it’s a scar from a heart surgery. He doesn’t have that many good days.

Bernard presses the heel of his palms into his eyes before using his hands to scrub at his face. He’s always so tired these days.

“Okay,” he says simply, “okay.”

“Okay?” Ty asks hopefully.

“Okay, you’re right. It’s not just me anymore. Mori deserves the best and I’m gonna give it to him. And I love Tim, I think I’ll always love Tim but he clearly doesn’t give a shit about me. So I gotta make my peace with it or I’ll go crazy.”

Ty whoops, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he chants.

“Bear, it’s still the middle of the workday,” Jimmy says, although he too, sounds happy. Auntie Bea and Betty are muttering about a feast, he thinks. “Don’t you have to get back to work?”

“Yeah, that’s if I’m not fired already,” he mutters.

“Hey!” Jimmy admonishes, “Optimism only, no pessimism.”

“Alright, alright. I gotta get back to work now. Thanks guys.”

“Of course, we’ll let you go now. Ma wants me to tell you that we’re having dinner at your place today.”

“Aunt Betty,” he whines, “I haven��t cleaned and you and Auntie Bea are just looking for a reason to spoil Mori.”

“Absolutely,” they say, unashamed, “he’s our only grandson. We have to spoil him.”

“Fine,” he sighs but he’s smiling. Fuck, he loves these people. God knows he wouldn’t have survived the past six years without them.

“Bye Bear,” they say before he hangs up, “Good luck on your first day!”

He cuts the phone and slides it back into his pocket. Turning on the tap, he splashes some cold water onto his face. Using his wet hands, he tries to rearrange his mussed up hair into something acceptable for an office job.

Time to face the music Darls, he tells her smiling face in the mirror. She gives him a thumbs up in return.

The walk back to his office feels like a death sentence. He’s fucked this up, he knows it. Freaking out over a small interaction with his CEO and then running away only to come back two hours later? It’s over, done for. Bernard takes comfort in the fact that at least the severance package will be nice.

Stepping into the office, immediately draws the eyes of his team members. Every step towards his team leader’s office feels nerve-wracking. Just before he enters, Esperanza, the team’s second in command, stops him.

“Whatever happened,” she says, “just explain it to him. Young-joon’s a reasonable man, he’s not gonna yell at you.”

Some of the tension leaves him and he nods. Knocking on the door, he enters. His team leader looks up and smiles.

“Ah, Bernard! Why don’t you take a seat for me?”

He crosses his wrists behind his back, “I’d rather stand, sir.”

His team leader looks confused, “‘Sir’? Just call me Young-joon like I told you.”

“Anyway, after you left, I took the liberty of going through your file to see if there was anything I missed. I hope that wasn’t overstepping my boundaries.”

“No s-, Young-joon. You’re fine.”

Young-joon sighs and pushes the file he was reading before Bernard came in forward. It’s his file.

“I’m going to say some statements,” he says, “and I want you to confirm whether it’s true or not. If any of these questions make you uncomfortable, just tell me okay? I’ll drop it immediately.”

Bernard nods.

“You went to Louis E. Grieves Memorial High School.”

“Yes.”

“Based on the dates you put in your file, you were there for the shooting.”

“...Yes. Junior year.”

“You know our CEO.”

“Yes,” he breathes out.

“How?”

He used to fall asleep on my shoulder during lunch and I would listen to him breathe. He’s got moles all over his face. Darls once connected them with a sharpie. His step-mom was so hot, I thought I’d spontaneously combust every time she smiled. HIs dad didn’t really like me and flirting with his wife didn’t help my case. The Drake condo had a crocheted flower blanket on the sofa that his mom had made during her pregnancy. He liked to skateboard but couldn’t roller-blade to save his life. I have all this love and nowhere to put it.

“It’s a little private,” he says instead.

“I’m only asking because we work quite closely with him. We see him often and if that makes you uncomfortable, then I can have you transferred to another team.”

His shoulders sag, “We went to Grieves together for one year. Our mutual friend died. It’s a little hard to look at him.”

“Jesus Christ.” Young-joon says, “Okay well the offer is still on the table, Bernard. Do you want to be transferred?”

“No, I like your team. I’d like to stay,” he says, firmly.

“Are you sure?” Youn-joon asks, eyebrows raised.

“Yes.”

“Okay then,” and it’s like a switch had flipped. Gone is his serious team leader and in its place is the man he met this morning.

“If you plan on staying,” he says smiling, “then my primary recommendation is that you use the medical benefits the company gives you to find a therapist. If you need help, the infirmary here will walk you through it.”

Oh thank god it comes included with his medical, Ty will be overjoyed to hear that. But first, he has to ask Young-joon why he’s doing all this. Bernard knows his experience with authority figures is a little skewed towards the shitty side of the spectrum but even so, people usually aren’t so kind in his experience.

“Why are you doing this? Why didn’t you fire me? Why are you helping me?”

Young-joon chuckles, “Do you want to be fired?”

“No! But still, why are you helping me?”

Young-joon sighs and stands up. Walking around his desk, he stops right in front of Bernard. Young-joon puts a hand on his shoulder.

“This city takes a lot out of its people, believe me I know. And you were so young, when Gotham took her piece of you. It wasn’t fair of you to go through that. Just like it wasn’t fair to me and my wife when we got kidnapped as children. These kinds of things don’t go away. I still get worked up over zip-ties. My wife still has nightmares. All you can do is learn to live with it.

“You seem like a good kid with a good head on your shoulders. I’d hate to see all that potential go to waste ‘cause you kept getting trapped in your mind. I had a lot of help to get to where and who I am today. Consider this, me paying it forward. One day, I hope you can pay it forward too.”

His eyes feel suspiciously wet. “Thank you,” he chokes out, “thank you.”

Young-joon laughs, “There’s no need for the waterworks, Bernard. Now, pack up your things and go home. You’re in no state to analyze data today but I expect you here at 9AM sharp tomorrow, alright?”

Bernard mock salutes, “Yes, sir.”

“Goodbye, Bernard.”

Right before he exits, he turns around and calls out his team leader’s name.

“Young-joon,” Young-joon looks up confused, “you can call me Bear, by the way.”

A wide grin stretches across his team leader’s face, “Okay then. Goodbye Bear, see you tomorrow.”

Walking out of the office, it feels like a burden has been lifted off his shoulders. Esperanza takes one look at him and snorts.

“You just got Young-joon-ed, huh?”

His jaw drops, “He does that often enough you guys have a name for it?”

The other team members laugh, “Welcome to Data Analysis Team 1, kiddo. We look forward to working with you from now on.”

Smiling, he gathers his things and leaves after a few goodbyes. Once outside the building, the smile drops. It’s an hour-and-a-half bus ride from Wayne Tower to his house. The bus stop sits right in front of the tower too. Some new initiative by the mayor to promote the city moving towards green energy. Hey look, even rich people take the bus! What a fucking joke.

The tower warps the sunlight around it and he stares up at the top floor. Is Tim watching? Can Tim see him from up there? Does he care or was it just the shock of seeing someone he once knew this morning? Has Tim ever thought about him, about them? Or were they just moments in his life? Perpendicular lines, intersecting once and then never again.

I miss you, he thinks staring at the top floor, I miss you more than anything but I’ll walk into oncoming traffic before I ever reach for you again.

The bus pulls up next to him and he snags a seat in the back. Dropping his head onto the seat in front of him, he stares out the window. Darls smiles back at him in the window reflection, perpetually sixteen. He’s twenty-two now.

Fuckin’ hell Darls, he thinks wearily, we’re really in it now.

Darls places her hand against the glass, he leans his shoulder onto it. If he closes his eyes, he can almost feel her warmth.

We’ll make it through, she says.

The bus rumbles forward and he lets the cracked streets of Gotham lull him to sleep. He’ll make it through.

A/N: chami! i hope you like it!!! i've never gifted a fic before, i don't really know how this works. and to everyone who read it, i hope you liked it too! please leave your thoughts in the reblogs or replies!!! i miss the days when td:r was coming out and we were all collectively freaking out. anyway when i said loosely based, i really did mean loosely. props to you guys if you can figure out the direct references to the drama. but this is a one-shot. i'm not gonna be writing anything else for this 'verse? au? (god i'm always so worried im using em dashes wrong)

if you have questions or you're confused by something i wrote, feel free to ask questions or send an ask or message. oh, and i know some people like know the exact wordcount. so, it's exactly 6,785 words long. nice number right?

also, please note that if you want to make art or a podfic or hell, even fanfiction of this, feel free to do so! i hope that's not too presumptuous or anything. idk i see fanfic writers make this disclaimer all the time, so i thought i'd do it to.

thank you for reading!

#god i'm exhausted #writing the latter end of a fic always feels like finishing a marathon #no more fics for like the next 6 months (<- me when i lie)#anyway big fan of the bear hallucinates darla club!#currently there's only one member (me) but you can change that #also favorite trope ever is when you see a regular dude and you're like 'what a nice normal dude' and then you talk to him for like #5 minutes and you're like '/oh./ this dude has something wrong with him'#also the tyrone/jimmy pairing? do you see my vision?#also big fan of the the shooting was worse than what you see in rr club!#it's just there was a city-wide gang war and all the gangs came to grieves to kill darla and you're telling me only she died???#i think way more people died. i think too many people died actually. i think the school had to do remote learning for all of tyrone's sr yr #cause the renovations were too much.#also just to clarify #the is hallucination!darla and there is the darls he sees all the time. no they are not the same to him. yes he is mentally ill.#also yes!! superheroes do exist in this world!!! i just didn't mention them.#also if we're being a little self-critical for a moment #(don't look at this part) i feel like i could've ended this at a way earlier point in the story but i had such a strong vision of what the #fic was supposed to be like that i just wrote everything #anyway lets start tagging #bernard dowd #tim drake #timbern #timber #dc #red robin tyrone #red robin jimmy

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imaginesfordifferentfandoms · 1 year

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You're Losing Me.

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Prompt - ‘Do something, babe, say something. Lose something, babe, risk something. Choose something babe, I got nothing to believe, unless you're choosing me.’

Notes - I know I posted a House version of this yesterday but this song has such a hold on me so here's Obi-Wan's version.

You had known Obi-Wan your whole life, had trained by his side since you were children and formed a friendship that had the older Jedi raising their eyebrows and whispering about attachments. You had been inseparable since you’d met, drawn to one another like it was the will of the Force and never once drifted apart from each other in all your years together.

It wasn’t until you were a few years older, well into your Padawan training, that you both began to see your friendship had transitioned into something more, something that had you feeling lighter than ever, something that had your chest feeling warm and your cheeks heating up.

You were in love with Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan who was always there when you needed him, Obi-Wan who was always ready to pull you into his arms and talk about everything and nothing for hours, Obi-Wan who never hesitated to stand up for you when you let people put you down. You were in love with the man who stood for everything good, who was so kind and patient, who never gave you anything but fond and happy memories.

You loved him and you didn’t know what to do. What was there to do when you dedicated your whole life to an Order that forbade attachments? You couldn’t fathom how the Order could think something as beautiful as the feelings you felt for Obi-Wan could possibly lead you down a Dark path.

Obi-Wan had known he was in love with you for a long time, from the moment his gaze started to linger on you for a little longer when you looked away, from the moment he realised he longed for your company when you were pulled apart by separate missions, from the moment he realised all he wanted to do when you smiled at him was to pull you in and taste your lips.

He hadn’t been able to stop himself from doing just that when he was finally able to steal a moment alone with you when you returned from a mission two weeks later than intended after peace talks had turned violent and you and your Master had gotten caught in the midst of it.

You hadn’t had more than a moment to register what was happening before you felt Obi-Wan’s lips on yours the second you walked into the room, freezing for a moment before sinking into the kiss, relaxing for the first time in weeks as your hands gripped Obi-Wan’s robes, both of you needing to assure yourselves you were safe.

From there everything evolved until you were sneaking around the Temple, keeping your relationship a secret, knowing you were breaking the rules and not caring if it meant you got to call Obi-Wan yours. It didn’t matter that you couldn’t tell anybody, it didn't matter that your relationship was built on stolen moments and secret meetings, you knew one day things would be different, you didn’t care about anything else.

The secret lasted well into knighthood and when Obi-Wan became a Master, having to train the young Skywalker boy it put a strain on your relationship. Suddenly it wasn’t just you and Obi-Wan sneaking around together, ignoring the whispers and the knowing glances from Qui-Gon as he left the quarters more and more frequently giving you and Obi-Wan plenty of time together. Suddenly in the space of one mission there was a Padawan and no time for stealing time together, now it was all about longing glances as the other was thrown more and more into their duties.

Eventually though it became easier to deal with, you and Obi-Wan were assigned missions together with Anakin coming along but as the years went on you made it work. You were sure the Padawan knew there was something going on between you and Obi-Wan, the cheeky grins and badly concealed winks he sent Obi-Wan’s way as he came up with excuses to leave the room for a while gave as much away,

You weren’t complaining, you loved any time you got to spend with Obi-Wan, you wished for more days that were spent laying side by side whether it be in a bed or a field littered with flowers but you knew that this was all he could offer you and all you could offer him right now.

So it went on like that, years passing by in secret as you loved each other quietly. You wanted it to be enough but there was a small part of you that was more and more persistent as the years passed, hopeful for something more.

You knew you’d leave the Order for the man, all he had to do was ask. You wanted him to ask more than anything, wanted him to steal you away in the middle of the night and put as much distance as possible between you and the rules of the Jedi Order. You wanted to build a life with him, one that didn’t need to be clouded by secrets and lies, one where you could kiss him whenever you wanted without always looking over your shoulder.

You wanted him to ask you.

He never did though and when the war started you pushed all those thoughts away. It wasn’t the time to leave, that’s what you told yourself anyway as you threw yourself into the war efforts, aching as you and Obi-Wan were separated yet again, only reunited when the Council ordered it.

There were a few times you got to spend longer together, days that were spent on Coruscant, still surrounded by the war but easier to ignore as you made your way to Obi-Wan’s quarters after a long day of consulting with the Council.

“I’d say that was a rather successful meeting, wouldn’t you? If what we have planned works we’ll have Akippee in no time.” Obi-Wan grinned at you as he moved around the quarters, seemingly unable to try and leave the war outside of these walls, to savour the little bit of time you were able to have together.

You just hummed at him and let your fingers trail along the back of the sofa as you looked around the room, the room that had once brought you peace, had felt more like home than any place had before, the soft orange hues lighting the room but now it felt different, it felt empty.

Obi-Wan continued to talk, hardly noticing the fact it was a one sided conversation as your mind went into overdrive. You weren’t sure how he couldn’t see something was wrong, how could he glance over at you and smile, how could he chuckle and speak and not notice you were miles away questioning everything?

Eventually Obi-Wan led you into the bedroom, stating that you must both be exhausted from such a long day and it wasn’t long until the lights went out. Obi-Wan fell asleep easily, not pulling you close to his chest like he would have years back and you ignored the way another bit of your heart withered at the loss.

The sound of Obi-Wan breathing evenly and shuffling every so often used to comfort you, it used to lull you into a peaceful sleep and leave you well rested. Now it set your nerves on edge, it made you feel like you were alone even though you could reach out and touch him, though the space between you felt infinitely bigger than it was.

As he slept you stayed awake, sat up staring into the darkness of the room, letting your thoughts run wild, letting yourself wonder what was happening, letting yourself wonder if it was time to face the reality of what had become of you and him.

You loved Obi-Wan, the man was all you had ever known and you didn’t want to know anything else. You loved him more dearly than anything in the whole galaxy and yet here you were with him, feeling lonelier than you had ever felt in your life.

All you wanted was a life with Obi-Wan, you wanted a proper, real life with Obi-Wan. One far away from the rules and regulations of the Jedi, one where attachments weren’t something to be feared, one where you could kiss him freely and without judgement, you wanted to give him every part of your life, you wanted to be his wife, you wanted to give him a family.

You wanted to give him everything.

You had tried to deny it for so long, tried to convince yourself you didn’t actually need that. You didn’t need to be Obi-Wan’s bride, you didn’t need to start a family with him and live your life openly to prove you loved him.

But it was never about proving anything, it was just something you wanted so badly and Obi-Wan had never given any indication he wanted anything more than you had. He seemed so content with what you had, never going forward, just staying where you were.

There were too many problems with your relationship, sure the war could be blame for leaving you without seeing each other for months on end but you truly believed if the war hadn’t happened this would still have been the outcome, maybe it would have bought you a few more months maybe even years but it was always going to end up here.

There were too many problems and Obi-Wan didn’t see them, either he refused to see them or he was really so blinded to them. When you finally reunited it was like there was no time apart for him, like everything was still the same. Your heart was breaking and he was fine where you were.

It was falling apart, you could see it breaking down before your eyes and yet Obi-Wan couldn’t. You wanted to scream at him, beg and plead for him to do something, to show it meant something to him, to show you meant something to him. You wanted him to take a risk, to leave the Order with you, to show that he would choose you. But he never did.

That night you slept fitfully, feeling even more drained than you had been the night before, only able to glare at Obi-Wan in the morning with a storm of emotions in your eyes as he went about getting ready for the day whilst keeping up a steady stream of conversation. He looked at you with a smile on his face and you wanted to scream some more, wanted to shake him and beg him to look at you, to see that you were dying, to see that he was losing you.

All you wanted was for him to see you, to see the mess that was your relationship and fight to save it, to do something to show he loved you. You wanted to believe your relationship could survive but your heartbeat felt like it was fading with every day that passed, it felt like you were going to die before Obi-Wan realised something was wrong.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You interrupted him, looking as shocked as he did at the outburst, not fully registering the words leaving your mouth or the decision to save yourself before your heart really did stop.

“Is everything ok?” Obi-Wan asked, his eyebrows knitting together as he put down his caf and turned to you, seemingly giving you all his attention but still not seeing you, not seeing how worn down you were.

“No.” You finally forced yourself to say after a few moments of silence passed where you could only stare at him, debating if you wanted to do this. “Obi-Wan, this isn’t working, we’re not working.”

“I don’t understand.” Obi-Wan told you softly, his hand coming up to scratch at his beard as he tried to figure out what was happening and why you were suddenly so unhappy with your relationship.

“I know you don’t.” You told him, voice shaky as you fought back tears. “I know you don’t, Obi-Wan and that’s the problem. You don’t understand despite all the signals I’ve given, you don’t understand even though it’s so clear to see.”

“What’s clear to see?” He asked you and the genuine confusion coming from him hurt your heart even more.

“Would you leave the Order for me?” You asked, never wanting to ask the question, not when you knew what the answer would be but it was the only thing you could think to ask to get him to understand something about how far your relationship had fallen.

Obi-Wan was silent for a moment too long, a moment that he actually seemed to recognise lasted for too long if the regretful look on his face meant anything. You let out a chuckle that sounded more like a sob and nodded, you’d already known the answer, if he was going to say yes he would have already left.

“I never wanted to lose you but you, you won’t do something, you won’t risk something to fight for us. You won’t even choose me, Obi-Wan. I can’t do this anymore, I’m tired, I’m so tired of being lonely.” You cried, a few tears slipping down your cheeks as you slid your robe on.

“Where are you going?” He asked quietly and you nearly sobbed, even now, even when you were walking out of the door he wouldn’t fight for you.

“To talk to Master Yoda, I can’t stay Obi-Wan, I can’t.” You told him and opened the door, waiting a moment for him to say something, to do something but he didn’t. He stayed silent and let you walk out of his quarters.

You barely held yourself together, hearing the door shut behind you and forced your feet to move until you got to an empty room. Only then did you let yourself fall apart, sobs wracking your body as you finally let everything out, everything you had been ignoring for years.

All you had wanted was for him to give you something, you had only ever wanted him to choose you the way you would always chose him but instead he hadn’t even fought to stop you from leaving, letting you go like you hadn’t given him your best years, hadn’t given him everything you had only to be left alone feeling like you heart wouldn’t start anymore.

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starwarsaddiction · 2 years

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I had a brother, once

When I was about nine, and he was four, I think, he went away. He was so cute, he had a bunch of shiny copper hair, a nice smile and those big blue eyes. I loved to play with him, he was so little and funny. But one day he started moving things around the house, like small things that ran across the table to his little hands, and once he befriended a bird outside the window, it came so close to him that it accepted the food he gave it. My mother didn't believe me at first when I said that, but then she and dad started watching him closely, and I remember they talked of a thing called the Temple, after a while. Dad looked sad for a bit, but mum was so thrilled. She had an old picture, she always told me the woman in the picture was his grand grand grandmother, from centuries ago, and that she went to the Temple, and one evening they came into our room and talked to us. They told us that my little brother, Ben, had a special gift, like the woman in the picture. That he was touched by the light, and he could do great things, and that new people would come to test him and see if he was touched enough to learn how to use his gift for the Galaxy and the Republic. I was so scared, at first, I didn't want my little brother to go away. I screamed and hugged him, and he was so still in my arms. My parents were emotional too, mum said to me that giving a child to the Temple was a privilege and that he could live better with them than with us. I didn't understand at first, but they told me that the Temple was full of people like him, with his gift, and that their job was so important to the Republic, and he would have the chance to become a good person between them. We were just humble citizens, my dad was an architect, like me, and my mom was an artist and a painter. She told me that Ben could become something that they could never prepare him for, and the people at the Temple could help him with his gift and prepare him to be the best person he could be.

Some days after that, people from the Temple came to see my family. There was a tall black man and a creature with a mask on his face and eyes. They played with Ben and asked him a lot of questions, and then they came to me. They asked me if I loved him, and if I wanted him to be happy. Of course, I wanted that. The black man told me that he understand I was sad and didn't want to lose my brother, and he was right. He told me that Ben was going to live a life in the Temple, that he would learn how to use his gifts, and that he would be happy with them, but I was afraid that he would be alone and sad.

So they brought us all to the Temple, and we had the chance to see where he would live and grow. The school and the creche were so fun, and warm, that I even asked if I could stay with them too. But I was not gifted as him, so I couldn't. We hugged my brother for the last time, but every year, for the anniversary of the day he went to the Temple we received a picture and a few words from his teachers. It went on until he became a Padawan, around fourteen, and it was ten years since he left us.

We never forgot him, and I was still a bit sad, but I grow up being proud that my youngest brother went to become a Jedi. I got married and watched my children closely, in their youth, wondering if there was a hint of the same gift that he had, but apparently, that wasn't the case. It was a relief, surely, I didn't have to say goodbye to one of my children at such a young age, because I remember how conflicted my parents were, when we left him on Coruscant, in the Temple. They cried a lot, and I thought that it was because they didn't want to leave him behind, but then I understand. Sometimes it's hard to choose the best for your children, and you wish you can do everything yourself. But it's not always possible. He had great power in his little hands, and with great power comes great responsibility, and sometimes as a parent, your job is to accept that you're not the best fit to teach something important to your children. We knew nothing of the Force, we couldn't help him with it. We wouldn't be able to give him the proper teachings to understand and use his power in the best way, and it could easily hurt him and the people around him. Instead, he went on and became a great Jedi, and now I can read about him, saving the Republic and the galaxy with his power, against the Separatists that want to destroy our way of life.

So, yes, I spent my youth wondering how he was and if he was happy with the Jedi, but now I know he was. And every time someone at work asks me "are you related to that Kenobi?" I always smile.

Yeah... that's my brother.

#my writings #i'm not a native english speaker #be kind with me #obiwan kenobi #obi wan my beloved #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #obi-wan kenobi #guiding light #the master of soresu #jedi positivity #jedi order #we love the jedi in this house #jedi haters do not interact

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vaguely-concerned · 6 months

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I’m on a Star Wars books roll so here we go with my — unhinged thanks for asking! — thoughts on Dooku: Jedi Lost, specifically the audio play. Short version: I fucking loved this one! For maximum emotional devastation, pair with Master and Apprentice and Padawan the way my stupid ass did and then be sad about it forever I guess that's what I’m going to have to do.

Long (LONG oopsie) version:

- So. First of all, let’s get the most important thing out of the way on this here old man yaoi website. We all agree dooku and sifo dyas explored each other’s bodies right. Or at least definitely would have if not for the laws of this order etc., potentially. That’s not just me. Good. Thank you. We can now move on

- Secondly. Well. Guess I’m just going to be inconsolable about Sifo-Dyas forever now. I miss the days in which he was just a throwaway line in AotC spawned by a random misspelling to me, rather than an eternal raw aching wound in my heart

- poor poor ventress just reading through all the proof that dooku absolutely does have it in him to be a good dad I mean master and just — idk got tired of that and went the force lightning route with her. I love the move of having her dead master hang out with her all that time as well (having her slip up and refer to ‘us’ did something to me, god this is so sad. Is he actually there in spirit or is it just her grief dreaming him up because dooku is awful and cold as a cliff wall and she needs some kind of attachment figure even if she’ll have to reinvent him herself, rebuild him word for word, gesture by gesture. Pain. sorry about your terrible track record with father figures asajj)

- Lene: (About Averross): He hasn’t changed.

Dooku: (In the warmest fondest voice you ever heard) And I hope he never does

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MYSELF? MUST I SET MYSELF ON FIRE TO ESCAPE THE PAIN???

Another strong showing for Rael in general, btw. He’s so warm and charming as a presence even though he’s also a little chaos gremlin. (He’s quite similar to how Sifo-Dyas was when he was young in some ways, I can definitely start to see what Dooku responds warmly to in terms of character traits.)

- the fact that good ol’ sheev showed an interest in rael, dooku and anakin… interesting huh! He’s just got a soft spot for the disaster lineage I suppose, maybe there’s an element there of luring yoda’s most direct lineage into the dirt with him without yoda even noticing for the longest time. Also cackling at the idea that he looked at qui-gon ‘too fucking stubborn and insufferable to fall to the dark side out of sheer spite’ jinn and went ‘...not that one tho’ fhdskjfa. And obi-wan is more like ‘that one blorbo all my little guys seem wild about but I just don’t get it guys’

IF rael’s refusal to join dooku at the end of ‘master and apprentice’ is the last word (which I am not convinced of ;___; be safe cowboy jedi we never see in mainline canon so far), then he’s the only one who has dodged palpatine’s attentions. Wonderful if true love that for him

ALSO rael is one of the few people we know to be on (or at least to consider himself on despite what palps might think lol) first name basis with palpatine. Hilarious. I concur with dooku never change rael

- Sifo-Dyas: That’s insane.

Dooku, deadpan: Yes.

Sifo-Dyas: The worst plan I’ve ever heard.

Dooku, somehow even more deadpan: Most probably.

Sifo-Dyas: I’m in.

Crying… weeping and dying………… what if someone could have helped sifo with his unfortunate prophecy propensity and they hadn’t drifted apart. Clone Wars averted methinks if dooku still ended up leaving the order he would have been too busy having tender gay sex with the love of his life (and only person who can call him out on his shit and have him actually listen) to be a war criminal (I am being extremely facetious of course this is very much a ‘time traveler killing baby hitler’ situation where the underlying forces causing this point in history are way too powerful to avert the catastrophe in one move. but at least palps would probably have had to pick someone else to wreck the galaxy through and sifo-dyas would be kissed & held instead of going slowly mad. A net plus some (I, me) would say)

- I just wanted to applaud both the writing and the voice acting for the characterization of Dooku in this, from his young self trying so hard to be haughty and self-possessed but also being like, y’know, twelve and a dweeb and easy for Sifo-Dyas to pull into trouble, to the dry wit and warmth he shows with Rael and Qui-Gon or his sister later. It took me a little while to get into the voice acting specifically (the actor makes no attempt at going the full Christopher Lee, which in hindsight was probably wise), but now I love it. It gets a bit goofy in places but you know what, I am a long time lover of audio plays, that’s part of the charm

- “Master, have I done something wrong?”

My heart is clenching… do you think… that master yoda’s deal with leaving his student to try fucking everything to have some kind of relationship with him until he just breaks down in tears of despair… is the kind of thing that maybe started a little bit of a generational trauma cartwheel through the ages. The point that bb!dooku is arrogant isn’t without merit and he strikes out incredibly ungracefully about it (in fact I would be a lot more worried than yoda seems to be that he decides to try to kill a tree about it, ‘I felt like destroying something beautiful’-style) but I just don’t think a… fourteen year old? A teen anyway, Is going to learn what you think he learns from this. I simply don’t believe that silent treatmenting kids will teach them emotional intelligence I guess especially if they already struggle with that naturally lol

(It is exactly the same mistake (in my opinion) that Qui-Gon makes with Obi-Wan, too, just leaving the kid completely alone and forcing them to come to you every which way for comfort or guidance instead of meeting them or reaching out to them. Especially once you see that really Dooku’s prime emotion/big core wound right from the beginning is loneliness. And that doesn’t only come from a feeling of superiority (which to be sure is also a big factor), because he has no idea where he comes from until he meets his sister. I don’t think the jedi as a whole were unsalvageable by any stretch of the imagination, but Yoda specifically… you are on such very thin ice with me at this point you little green fuck. You’re very funny and moving in yoda dark rendezvous and that’s all that’s keeping you in my somewhat good graces.)

- Okay, coming back a bit later I think I’ve found the right words to say this. more precisely dooku has two big issues which you can later see haunting all the way down his lineage — loneliness and control. (and not incidentally the intersecting elements of the two haha.) We see from his relationship to sifo-dyas that he’s not incapable of having close mutual relationships with an equal, but that kind of crashed and burned for reasons neither of them could really help and after that it seems quite telling that he has the easiest time with deeper connection in a teacher-student sort of form. I think his affection is unconditional and real, but you can’t get away from the fact that he also has the most control in that relationship structure by default, he gets to dictate what form it takes to a big extent. He doesn’t trust other people — the underlying idea ‘Only I can do this’ that eventually leads him down the Separatist path is there the whole way. It speaks both to a sense of superiority and an utter lack of faith that other people can or will help him. And then that echoes down through the master-padawan line:

Qui-Gon with his self-righteousness and utter refusal to compromise leaving him isolated among the jedi (only he is right. Yeah the Force told him so. Don’t worry I’ve got a permit *insert parks and rec I can do whatever I want meme here*), Obi-Wan with his anxiety and perfectionism and incredible sense of shame and responsibility that he should be able to carry the whole world on his shoulders alone and beating himself up for failing, all feeding into not knowing what to do with Anakin and his complete lack of control of himself and his desperation to gain and maintain connection and love (which earns him the title of ‘Dooku’s least favorite family member’ fhdsa his immediate disdain for him is so funny and so in character. Repress and go slowly mad like a normal person anakin the way you’re carrying on is just undignified and that is much worse than being evil)…

- Rael gently telling Dooku to take on another padawan soon… so sweet, so sad, local cowboy jedi looking out for his dad. Also highlights something about Dooku I think is true: that he does much better and seems to have an easier time holding to the light when he’s responsible for someone else. Again, I do feel like Dooku’s core problem is loneliness, but it seems like raising kids is the one point where that relaxes somewhat. Maybe if Sifo-Dyas had stayed in a better mental place and they kept in touch it could have been different.

- Lene Kostana is SUCH a character! Charismatic and deeply fucked up, when it’s revealed how her and Sifo-Dyas’ relationship remains long after his padawan stage is done I felt a little bit sick, to my surprise. Because that could just be kindness on her part, of course, it’s good that he has someone he trusts to look after him when he can’t himself, but also there’s something… queasy about the way it keeps him continually young, in a way. (Notably he still calls her ‘master’ even as an adult, when they’re working together. Not uncommon in Star Wars, of course, but together with everything else going on vibes-wise… hm.) The inherent unreliable narration of this story really worked for me in this regard especially — do we know that young Dooku was entirely wrong when he sensed the dark side in her? She certainly is willing to go to lengths that are… worrying! in her fascination with sith shit, she tempted children into a dangerous place they didn’t understand and couldn’t know the consequences of and she continually puts sifo-dyas in situations that are implied to be a risk to worsening his condition. Run of the mill incredibly irresponsible at best, sincerely sinister at worst. Did she choose Sifo over Dooku because he’s more vulnerable and shapeable? There is an undercurrent of something icky and emotionally incest-y going on with how she relates to Dooku and Sifo-Dyas in general (right down to the ‘NO, no one can know about this’ intensity after the… evil moss cave. I can’t believe I’m this emotional about a book with an evil moss cave). I don’t think she’s a proper sith in any way and I also believe there is real affection there on all sides, but idk something about the whole thing makes me deeply uneasy. Yoda where the fuck are you your son is out there with his irresponsible mom again they’re looking for dirty needles in haystacks and they’re not even wearing any gloves

- dooku telling sifo-dyas he can come back to haunt him if he likes as a joke… well well well I’m sure that doesn’t ring with some dramatic irony at some point down the line lmao

- honestly looking back at master and apprentice after reading jedi lost makes qui-gon's apparent lack of reaction to dooku leaving seem — let's call it highly suspect haha. rael asks him if he's spoken to dooku after and qui-gon is like 'no. why would I. it's literally fine. anyway this topic is done now'. (and rael seems to just go ‘*older brotherly knowing* uh-huh’) meanwhile he's thinking about dooku *all the time* trying to figure out his role as master to obi-wan, thinking about being a padawan himself, the parts of his life he shared with both dooku and rael. The jedi doth protest too much methinks

ALSO how much of qui-gon thinking the council was too lenient with rael after he had to kill his padawan is about that actual situation, and how much is a ‘our family still likes my older brother more than me even though he Fucked Up so bad and breaks just as many rules as I do’ sort of deal mixed with his own neuroses about how he’s failing obi-wan (to which rael’s situation symbolizes the worst possible outcome, i.e. the kid dies and it’s basically your fault). Many thoughts.

- moment of silence for jenza of house serenno. Girl your only sin was being surrounded by asshole male family members and I’m so sorry I think you did all you could with what you had to work with here.

Not… entirely sure how dooku’s claim to the title supersedes hers — is he a year older than her? (she’s eleven when they first meet, he might be twelve or older at that point I don’t remember haha) Does she just give up her place in the inheritance order? Are primogeniture and male heir preference factors in Serenno inheritance law? Not the most important thing honestly it works anyway thematically but could have been clarified quickly!

- interesting to see that the council’s restrictive policy against engaging with prophecies had a surprisingly big impact on how things went down. Kostana has a lot of responsibility in Sifo’s fate for insisting he keep it secret, but there is genuine fear for what might become of him if the rest of the order finds out he’s got 24/7 futurevision hovering over him threateningly… listen it’s not like the poor guy can help getting the future constantly pumped into his brain at nightmare resolutions, I think maybe if there had been more willingness to at least engage curiously with the concept of prophecy and how it works, even if you don’t put your faith in the particulars of what the prophecies say, this wouldn’t have had to be such a shitty isolated secretive life for him. hearing him slowly fall apart over the years considering how bright and lovely he started out... oof is all I can say

- when dooku was a good jedi he was such a good jedi!!! The scene where they’re saving the kids from the collapsing hospital, every time he teaches his students anything…the impulse of someone has to do something about this! that made him so good at saving lives turning dark with the tarnish of frustration and rage over the years… nooooooooo problematic grandpa why did it have to be like this :(

- …do you think infant jedi can sense what’s going on around them in the Force. Because it makes a very sad kind of sense if dooku on some level remembers bodily or in the Force that he was not only abandoned but rejected in disgust as one of the first things he discovered in the world. Oh boy. With all the ways attachment relationships can go wonky in the first few years in real life I don’t even want to consider how much more wrong it can go when the baby is fucking psychic lol

- vaguely related: the way dooku seems to find the very idea of being truly reliant on anyone, emotionally or otherwise, personally offensive, terrifying and humiliating lol. Yoda saves him from being crushed by rubble and he is outraged because that means he can’t save himself (and his newfound sister) without anyone’s help like he thought for one glorious moment he could. The fantasy of perfect emotional self-sufficiency, doing away with all the messiness and risk of interpersonal relationships and cutting off the possibility of really being abandoned again. It’ll get ya every time. This is also a thing you see reflected in his lineage — they’re all quite inward-turning that way until you get to anakin, to different extents and with varying presentations but it is there I think. Qui-Gon turns to the Force, Obi-Wan to perfectionism and shame and rumination, Rael to the bottle and depression and hedonistic apathy, but they all struggle hugely with letting anyone in to help them. Dooku’s line are all much more comfortable being the helpers rather than the helpees, as it were.

- “Thank you for everything, Lene. Tell Rael and Qui-Gon — tell them… tell them the Force will be with them, always”

Emotional terrorism against me specifically and personally. You asshole you just excused yourself from the non-attachment rules there’s literally nothing in the world except you to stop you from reaching out and telling your children you love them yOURSELF why are you like this

- the recurring theme of dooku seeing something beautiful (the tree in the temple, the tirra’taka as a child and an adult) and ending up lashing out to destroy it… but the tree was old and mighty and he was young and new and couldn’t truly harm it, so he was saved from his own impulsivity. And then when he sees the tirra’taka as an adult he loves it immediately. And in the end he still mangles and destroys it. He didn’t mean to, but he did. He woke it up and hurt it just by existing as a child and then he had to kill it as a mercy because he was too powerful at that point for anything to buffer his mistakes. The parallel with the bird he loved that he also couldn’t protect. He starts out with an aching loneliness somewhere at the core of him through no real fault of his own but by the end it is entirely his own fault that it’s worse, because he starts wrecking everything he loves in an almost absent-minded but definitely intentional way, like it’s a nightmare he’s listening to through the door as it happens in the next room over. He really IS the ‘I just felt like destroying something beautiful’ central of the jedi.

at the end qui-gon is dead and through dooku’s own influence, however indirectly. Rael has had to turn away from him. Sifo-Dyas is dead on Dooku’s own orders and so is his sister, he might as well have done it with his own hands. (though I think it’s very interesting that in each case he didn’t do it with his own hands, he consistently uses a middleman.) He lives within the coldness of his sterile empty castle and horrifically mistreats the one person he might have found something like connection with the way he did with his students before (Ventress), deliberately trapping her in a similar state of utter desolate isolation and telling her, essentially, ‘We’re like this as people and nothing can be done to change it. We can’t escape, we’re already doomed, stop trying, it’s too late. You are just like me (and if you aren't already I'll make you like me)’. And that’s the closest thing he gets to love anymore. When he accused Ky of using her ‘as a salve for his own loneliness’ and you’re like well well well mr projection man how’s that working out for you. He is completely, shatteringly alone and he is so entirely as a consequence of his own actions and he's too far gone to understand or care. I’m howling you useless fucking FOOL dooku

- dooku 🤝 john gaius

“Hm. I have observed that there are in fact many flaws in our society and the government is deeply corrupt. So if I kill a few billion people here and there in order to fix it, is that not basically okay when you really think about it”

Dooku making salient points about the political and ethical failures of the Republic and then, just when you think he’s onto something, he goes and makes The wildest fucking decisions about what to do about it. Sure. dark magic and genocide are probably the only ways out of this you’re so right bro. If we make enough minuses to add together surely we’ll end up in plus sooner or later

- *head in my hands once more* I can’t believe I am genuinely emotionally invested in someone called Count Dooku with the looks of a knockoff dracula and ultimate moral character to match right now this is terrible. hey. hey dooks. what you have to go and fuck everything up so bad for huh I’m so incredibly sad now

there is something to be said about how getting to see glimpses of what dooku looked like in the light makes it so much more heartwrenching that he never came back. he could have, a thousand times. and every time he chose not to.

#star wars #dooku jedi lost #count dooku #sifo dyas #dooku x sifo dyas #disaster lineage #lene kostana #star wars meta #rael averross #qui gon jinn #I'm being peak on my bullshit in this one. you're welcome and/or I'm sorry as appropriate

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bobbin-buckley · 5 months

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The Girl You Once Knew

Summary: You find the girl you once knew after years of forgetting

FEM-READER X SHIN HATI

Requested

Warnings: Slight cursing, mentions of s*uicide, Star Wars violence, slight smut, some praising, knee riding (R receiving)

Y/ls/c: Your lightsaber color

Y/h/c: Your hair color

Y/s/c: Your skin color

~~~~~~~~~

You don’t know how long it has been since you’ve seen her, nor do you know where she’s been.

Sabine had been attacked and you weren’t there to see it and help, you were hanging out with Hera and her son Jacen.

Ahsoka had contacted you to hurry to Lothal ASAP since Sabine was in a troubled state. You waisted no time to hurry into your ship and fly to Lothal. You and Sabine were very close best friends, you were never apart of the rebels because you were always with Ahsoka, since you’re her padawan.

Ahsoka was very ennobled to have you by her side, she found you stranded on Aris. You told her you were kidnapped years ago but was never found and never found a way off the planet. Ahsoka was astounded to see you alive, though we’re you close to starvation. She sensed something in you, the force was strong in you, she nearly recognized it’s power.

Later that day, the day you we’re supposed to be watching Heras son but found yourself in a medical room on Lothal, standing in front of your best friend. Sabine had been struck in the torso by a lightsaber, Huyang had told you.

You asked Ahsoka and Huyang who attacked Sabine, they said the person was a girl with blonde hair and feral eyes, a orange lightsaber was held in hand, she had a brawny stance. You also asked Ahsoka of her eye color, she said she didn’t get a good enough look to tell, since it was dark.

Now, you sat in a chair, face in hands and overthinking if it was really her…

“You’re overthinking again young one,” Huyang spoke up. “Mhm,” you hummed.

“You should get some rest, you’ve just been sitting there staring off into the palm of your hands.” You looked up with a glare.

“Y/n, tell me what’s wrong.” Ahsoka provoked. You sighed, not wanting to tell your master why the bother.

“Y/n.”

“I’m just worried about Sabine is all.”

Ahsoka wasn’t convinced but she didn’t push it. She waited for you to speak first. “Fine, I-I think I know who the person that attacked Sabine.”

“Go on.” Ahsoka nodded.

“The way you described her is different but- I still know it’s her, I sensed her in the force on my way here.” You paused, “her name was Shin, Shin Hati. She was a um…”

A friend? A Best friend? A Home? A Lover…?

She was your only hope when you were younger. Living Surviving on the stranded planet Aris with Shin. You found home and love in her, she was your ‘safe place’ you called her. She called you ‘My light’, you were the light to her dark. It seems cliché but it really had meaning between you two.

After years of surviving together, Shin was taken away from you. Well, I wouldn’t put it that way, Shin left you for power. A man named Baylan came along one evening, he said he sensed something in both you and Shin.

The Force.

You didn’t trust him, he seemed off.

Like there was a dark portal surrounding him, you felt like a black mass was wafting over you. You didn’t feel safe then, you definitely didn’t feel safe when Shin trusted him.

You convinced Shin to stay, to not leave you. But she marked her words.

“If you won’t go, I will.” And with that she left.

“Uhm…a friend, we were very close. We both were stranded on Aris, we built a home in each other. Until a man took her away.” Tears filled up in your eyes, it may have been years but it still damn hurts.

“A man?” Huyang wondered.

“Yeah, he was tall with a bushy beard. He had a hooded cloak covering his shadow. He took her away from me, he took…my Shin.”

Then the tears dropped.

You tensed when Ahsoka put a hand on your shoulder. “We will find her, and we’ll find the map on our journey too.” You relaxed at those words.

“W-what if we don’t find her? Or the map?” “No what if’s, that will slow you down more my padawan.”

Ahsoka was right. The more you overthink It would just bring you down. Ahsoka knew when you’d overthink how you would always give up since that’s how you grew up, doubting yourself.

That’s why you and Sabine got a long, both of you would end up giving up and talk to each other about it.

Ahsoka knew better from you, she knows how you’ll always put up a challenge only to break and forget.

You always think you are a failure to her but all she says is; “There is no such thing as failure”

You can’t help but deny her words.

As you were waiting for Sabine to get ready after she was healed more, all you could think were the possibilities of you encountering Shin. And how you think she’ll hate you for not joining her.

“Shin will be okay Y/n. There’s no need to fear.”Ahsoka spoke wisely, and all you could do was nod.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stumbled upon Shin for the first time in years. Ahsoka, Huyang, Sabine and you found Shin and her master, along with a witch named Morgan Elsbeth.

You’ve heard the name before, Hera had mentioned her. You haven’t been sure of what power witches had, but you’ve been told in stories that the witches held great power.

Ahsoka and Sabine were fighting off some inquisitor while you chased after Shin into the woods of SEATOS, the Denab system.

You rushed pass the blood colored trees, desperate to find the one you loved before.

Your so called ‘home’

“Shin! Wait! Please! I just want to talk!” Shin came to a stop, hearing your voice.

“Y/n?” She turned around, facing you. Fear and confusion in her eyes.

“Yes, yes it’s me! Shin! It’s Y/n your light.” You stepped closer but Shin tensed back.

“You don’t have to run or hide anymore. I’m here, I’m here to take you home.” You reached a hand out, but Shin sneered.

Her lightsaber ignited, the bright orange beaming off her perfect ocean eyes. The eyes that were now filled with fury and dread.

The couldn’t help but cry on the inside.

Is this really Shin? The Shin you’ve been looking for, for years? Is this really what you called home?

All there is was wrath and pain…

Shin always had anger issues, but this was different. Evil was over her body, covering the sweet blonde you knew and loved.

“Shin- y-you don’t have to do this!” “Yes! Yes I do! It’s to keep you safe!”

Shin attacked first, her arms swinging at you. Luckily your body had time to react and you grabbed your two y/ls/c lightsabers. You blocked just before your face was slashed, a loud clash when the three lightsabers made in contact with each other.

You didn’t want to fight her, you definitely didn’t want to harm her in any way. You wanted her to join you, leave Baylan and the dark side.

The fight between you and Shin was tough, she was incredibly powerful to your surprise.

Shin has managed to get you on your knees, as her lightsaber was pointed at you. You felt weak, maybe if she killed you right then and there you wouldn’t have to worry about anything anymore.

You gave her pleading eyes, Shin knew what you wanted but instead she swung her foot around and it made contact with your head, making you get knocked out right there.

~~~~~~~~~

Your vision was blurry, a raging headache was the only thing you could feel other than the pain on your left cheek.

You looked up from the metal floor, to seeing a tall blonde in the way of your exit.

You scoffed, “heh, watching me sleep now too eh? Creepy.”

“I wasn’t watching you sleep.”

Oh that voice, that voice made you feel butterflies. That deep tone made you wanna beg for her to just talk.

“Sure.”

Shin looked at you, watching your every movement from the cell door as you stepped up slowly. You noticed you were in a cell, the dark chambered walls. To your assumption you were on her ship.

“What do you want?” You leaned against the wall.

“Answers.”

“Pft, same. But blondie here doesn’t seem to like to answer.”

Shin glared at you.

Even her glaring was sexy-

“How are you alive? Last time I remembered you died of starvation on Aris,” Shin ignored your comment.

You didn’t want to answer her, but you also had questions lots of them.

“Ahsoka found me, she had a mission on Aris and- happened to find me. Under a rock….literally.” You tried for some humor, but Shin didn’t even smile.

How you missed that, that sweet smirk

“Hm.” She hummed. “How long have you been training with Commander Tano?”

She was joking right? She kidnapped you to only ask how you weren’t dead and how your miserable life is going?

“Can’t believe you knocked me out and kidnapped me just to ask me about my training. I thought our fight would give you a hint.” You snarked.

“We’ll it seems you haven’t been training long, despite the fact that I beat you.”

You rolled your eyes.

It was silent for a bit, all you could do was stare into Shin’s eyes, waiting for her to say something like an apology for leaving or an ‘I miss you’. But there was silence until she turned away with a small glance, the patter of her feet against the ground then leaving you in the cold cell.

You sighed, the woman you loved left again.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Sabine and you had escaped Morgan’s grasp and found Ahsoka again. You had thought she was dead, when Sabine had told you she died.

It scared the shit out of you. But thankfully she was okay.

You guys located Ezra, Sabines long time friend. He lived with the Noti on Peridea.

Sabine was happy to see him again. You didn’t really know who Ezra was, Sabine had only talked about him a few times.

When you found him it wasn’t long after Shin and her troopers found you. Ahsoka was after Morgan so it was up to the three of you to watch Shin and find Baylan.

After a while of fighting Shin, she lost her army and fled like a coward.

You were sure she wasn’t afraid of losing, she was afraid to hurt you.

You could sense the regret in her, it was very tiny but easy for you to sense. You knew if you asked her she would immediately decline and say she hates you, which is completely un-true.

Hours went on and you didn’t see Shin again or Baylan. You and Ahsoka fought Morgan and stormtroopers as Sabine helped Ezra into Thrawns ship before he’d escape.

With Sabines help of the force he made it, but you and Ahsoka were struggling to fight Morgan and we’re close to losing if it weren’t for Sabine.

Ezra understood that Sabine had to leave him for the two of you, the three of you hoped he found a way off Thrawns ship and to fly to Hera and warn the New Republic about Thrawn.

~~~~~~~

Morgan was dead. Ahsoka took one final strike and slayed her. (Lol slayed)

Stranded, you three were. Safe with the Noti you decided to stay with them and help them until help arrived and when Ashoka’s ship was fixed (since it was damaged during the flight to Peridea.)

It was nice living with the Noti, they were interesting creatures and the fact they were one of the only species on the planet besides the Howlers and Bandits.

You haven’t encountered the Bandits in a while thankfully, cause Baylan and Shin used them against you to kill you.

Speaking of Baylan and Shin, you assumed they were left stranded by Thrawn, there was no sight of them at the death of Morgan Elsbeth.

Everyday you couldn’t help but worry about her. Day and Night. During the day there was chores, training, hunting, food then sleep. You stayed up a bit later until the stars came out, waiting on top of a hill for Shin. Anxious for her to come home.

Ahsoka and Sabine had asked you if you were okay, sensing the worry in you.

Every time they’d ask your excuse was ‘worried about home’ or ‘anxious about the bandits’.

Neither of them believed you but didn’t push you to tell them the truth.

However, little did you know an angry lone wolf was wishing for you too.

~~~~~~~~~~

You were out hunting, alone this time. Usually Sabine and you would go together but you wanted to go out on your own, not just to look for food but to find her.

Walking past a small river where fish lived, you sat down in front of the water looking in the reflection of it, seeing yourself. Your (Y/h/c) was ruffled because of training, big eye bags from staying up late overthinking, and the scar on your left cheek from Shin knocking you out.

Tears slipped down from your eyes, vision blurry and sobs that you were trying to block from coming out.

From all of your crying and thinking you didn’t even see another person in the reflection of the water, but you felt a presence.

“Go away Sabine, I don’t want any of your talks. I’m fin-” You looked up, only to find a blue eyed girl with white/blonde hair.

You gasped.

“Shin?” You swiftly got up from your feet. “W-what are you doing here? I thought you were dead!”

You stepped back.

“Shin say something!-”

“I didn’t know what to do, or where to go..” she spoke quietly.

You noticed a bit of blood staining her grey vest, then noticed a cut in her vest that showed the split skin.

“The bandits got to me, I tried to take over them. But- uh…that backfired.”

You stepped forward but she stepped back.

“I’m- im not going to hurt you. Where’s Baylan?”

You noticed tears in her eyes. God did that break you.

“H-he…he left me,” Shin sobbed, “I had no where else to go. He said for me to kill you, Sabine, Ahsoka and Ezra then join Thrawn but- I..I refused….to harm you.”

Refused? That’s a first, you thought she really wanted to kill you after everything. And definitely Sabine.

“Y/n.”

The way she said your name made your heart thump. A blush to your cheeks.

“Here your going to bleed out, let me help you.” You reached for your bag and brought out some bandages and gauze.

You always kept stuff on you just incase.

Motioning for her to sit, you sat next to her asking her to lift up her shirt and vest.

“This may hurt..” “nothing I can’t handle.”

You smiled, but it faded when you dabbed the gauze on the cut and hearing her hiss in pain.

“I’m sorry,” you winced.

It was quiet as you patched her up, making sure that it was clean.

After doing so, you asked her where she was going to go but she didn’t know either.

“You could…stay with us?”

Shin looked at you if you were serious.

She thought you were crazy, thinking that you’d ever want her in your life again after everything.

“You? Want me to stay with you?”

You hummed.

“I-”

“Shin,” you placed a hand on her thigh, she tensed but relaxed after a second. “I want you to stay.”

It took Shin a bit to think but she nodded with a slight smile. You smiled like a dumb idiot in love.

You were in love. In fact, you are in love

~~~~~~~~~

“Sabine just hear me out!”

This wasn’t going very well. You were standing in front of a furious Sabine Wren with her lightsaber out ready to pounce at the blonde behind you. One arm reached out to make sure Sabine doesn’t get any closer, looking back at Shin every so once in awhile to make sure she doesn’t pounce either.

You brought Shin over to convince Sabine and Ahsoka for her to stay, since she had no where else to go.

“No! I won’t hear you out! Do you not realize what she did to us?!” Sabine yelled.

“Look, I know your angry at me for this and you hate her, but we have history I’ve told you this!” You did in fact tell Sabine about your and Shins relationship. She didn’t believe you at first but it kinda made since later.

“So what!”

“So what?! Sabine she has no where else to go! She’ll die if we leave her on her own!”

“So then let her! Let her starve on this shit hole!”

“Sabine.” Ahsoka finally stepped in.

You relaxed a bit but still kept your guard, as well as Shin. Sabine only strained more.

“You must calm your anger. I understand how our friend here has invoked us, but it isn’t right to leave her alone to die,” Ahsoka trotted over to the Mandalorian. “Shin can stay, but if she ever tries to harm us then she has to leave.”

Ahsoka looked over at you and Shin, as you glanced at her and she nodded to you, understanding.

“Good. Sabine, come with me and Y/n,” Ahsoka looked at you again. “Get her to rest.”

~~~~~~~~~

It has been a few days since Shin joined your tribe with the Noti. You think she’s happy to be with you again, well, you know.

Shin has opened up to you more about Baylan, and how he was like a father to her. She cried every time she talked about him, but you were there to hold her and comfort her.

Every day was better now with Shin around. You had more confidence.

You and Shin would sleep in the same tent, wake up and go for a morning walk, chores together (you taught her certain things the Noti taught you), you’d spar with Sabine as she’d spar with Ahsoka (sometimes you guys would spar together), hunt, eat then watch the sunset go down till bed.

You both have gotten close, really close

Shin was always teasing you, like brushing your hip when training, teasing words in your ear when doing chores, winking at you when you’d do something she thinks is hot.

It wasn’t making you mad or annoyed, it made you flushed and having the urge to kiss her right there.

You were eye-fucking each other the entire time every day. You got closer to cuddling in your sleep, and not saying a word about it the next morning.

Sabine had caught on quick about it. You also thought Ahsoka caught on too. Maybe even Huyang! Pretty obvious if being noticed by the wise droid.

Every time Shin would do something Ahsoka would give you a look that made you want to tackle her and frown.

You knew these feelings wouldn’t get unnoticed by your jedi master, Ahsoka always knew things you didn’t or things you’d think she doesn’t know but…knows.

~~~~~~~~

“Are you gonna actually woman up at some point and ask out your girl?”

You almost spat out your soup.

“What!?”

“You know.”

“No, I actually don’t,” you fought.

“Dude,” Sabine sat down on the log next to you, eyeing you then the fire. “You guys are eye-fucking each other every time you take a glance.”

You rolled your eyes, face blushing and hoping the blaze of fire hides it.

“It’s obvious, I bet you the Noti even notice it,”Sabine chuckled.

“Okay, I do really like her to where I think I love her. But I don’t know how to ask her out! I’ve never asked anyone out before! What do I say?” You rambled.

Sabine gave you a look, “just- be yourself, take her on an evening walk or something. Can’t really do any dates.”

“Yeah no shit,” your eyes veered to the ground. “You sure a walk will work?”

“Dude, it will! Trust me, I’m a professional at these things.”

You gave her a look, “mhm..sure cause you are totally a professional.”

Sabine rolled her eyes.

“But thanks..”

“No problem, I just need someone to keep that grimlin to calm down.” You laughed and with that, Sabine said good night and headed off to bed.

You sighed heavily, you know Shin likes you too. You’re just worried if it’s the right time, your gut is telling you to. So that’s what you go with.

Later that evening you were compelling wether or not to wake Shin up and ask her to walk with you. You’d feel bad waking her up, besides you couldn’t sleep thinking about all this.

You finally made the decision of going to wake the blonde. You walked to your shared tent and stepped inside, looking down at the peaceful girl.

She was so cute, her blonde hair a little ruffled, her mouth half open and small snores coming from her.

Kneeling down on your right knee, you gently shook Shin awake with your left hand. “Shin, Shin wake up, I want to ask you something.”

Of course Shin was a deep sleeper.

“Shin!” You whisper yelled.

Eventually you heard a groan from the older girl. “Why?”

You blushed, “I was uh..wondering if you’d take a walk with me? I have something important to talk to you about.” You were surprised you spat all that out.

“Hmp…why not tomorrow?..” Shin sighed.

“It’s really important…”

Shin finally opened her eyes, just a little bit but enough to see her blue glare.

“Fine, just give me a second.”

You nodded and left the tent, waiting for her outside.

Once Shin was ready you both started to walk on a path that led to the river you guys met at.

“Why’d you bring me out here to walk?”

Shin broke the silence

“I was wondering…if uh..”

Shit. What did Sabine tell you to do again?

You question yourself

Shin looked at you with her right brow perked up, as she cocked her head.

“Look Shin. I know it’s been a long time since we’ve been together. But I just want you to kno-”

You didn’t even get to finish cause the next thing you knew lips were on yours.

Soft lips

Her lips were so soft

She kissed harsh. Like she’s been wanting to kiss you for years. (And she has)

You kissed back just the same amount of force. Her hands placed on your hips, pulling you closer. Your arms wrapped around her back, digging your nails into her clothed skin, craving more of her touch.

Shin bit down on your lips, causing them to bleed as she then licked up the red liquid. Teeth clashing as she dug her tongue into your mouth.

You groaned when she gripped your ass, trying to get impossibly closer.

“Lay down for me my light.”

Shin laid you down on the soft grass, kissing you once again as she climbed on top of you.

Her hands now placed on your cheeks, rubbing her thumb rubbing over the scar on your left cheek.

“Shin..” you whimpered as she started to kiss below your chin, gripping the skin with her teeth.

Purple and red marks were decorating your (y/s/c) skin, wet kisses trailed down your neck. You gripped her hair roughly, begging for her to mark you as hers. She implied but biting hard next to your pulse as her younger danced across the reddened skin.

She swimmed back up to capture you in another kiss. “Is this okay?” She asked against your puffy plump lips, you nodded with a sigh as she placed her knee between your thighs.

All you could think of now was her

She was your focus

You focused on her knee, lifting your hips as your clothed clit made contact with her knee making you moan.

“That’s it baby, grind yourself on my knee. Come on darling, make yourself cum on me.” She praised.

You felt so loved by her. Everything she was doing was soft. It made you want to never leave this position.

Shin kissed where your heart was, peppering more until she reached your stomach. Brushing her hand over your breasts causing your back to arch.

“Oh-oh fuck-” you cried. “Sh-Shin…”

“Yes babygirl?”

“I want more…please oh fuck please.”

“Yeah? You want more, what do you want more of?” She teased.

“Yo-your fingers..” you gasped when she pulled her knee away. Only to bring her hand down your pants.

“Mhm..want my fingers eh?”

You nodded, biting your already swollen lips.

Shin rubbed two fingers over your clit, bringing you closer to your orgasm.

“Come on baby, let go, let go for me,” she murmured against your lips.

“Oh shit! Yes! Fuck oh my god!” Shin smirked and eased her fingers inside you.

“Cum for me..”

And with that, your body shook as you clenched around her fingers. Moaning her name over and over until your high came to an end.

“That’s it..”

Shin pulled away and rubbed your thigh while brushing your hair out of your face. She leaned down to kiss you again.

“Let me please you in return baby.” You husked.

Shin blushed but nodded.

You sure were in for one hell of a night. But it’s a night you won’t forget about.

Because you were in the arms of your home.

~~~~~~~~~

The ending was cheesy as hell but I did it!

It kinda seems short but also long at the same time cause I needed to find motivation 😭

I hope it’s good!

Let me know if any other requests I might write something with Tara 🤭

#shin hati #ahsoka #star wars #sabine wren #ahsoka series #shin hati x reader #shin hati x sabine wren

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floffytofu · 9 months

Text

The Padawan

The young woman humming while holding her baby, trying to stop their cries in her arms, even her head feels dizzy from blood loss. She is still trying to sing lullaby, ignoring the stare from a Jedi behind her.

"I can still heal you and bring you to coruscant" The Jedi knell beside her looked at her eyes with faint sorrow. "You know it will be too late for that Jedi master, I just need you to promise me one thing" The woman looked at the Jedi with pleading eyes and a single tear rolling down. "Please give my baby home to go back, don't let them be alone"

The jedi master swallowed hard, looking at the baby who is asleep peacefully now. He knew that Jedi couldn't form any attachment. He knew that he couldn't promise her anything. He knew that he had to ask all of the Jedi Council members permission first. But at the moment, he can't bring himself to say no to her. He can't bring himself to deny a desperate mother who just wants to save her child. And he can't deny the Force calling him to accept and promise to her.

"I promise"

-Time skip 10 years later-

"And what do you think you doing with that bird young one?"

You stop at your track, looking at Master Windu with a sheepish smile, holding a bird in your chest, afraid to drop it. "Oh, I uh- I found it at the outside Master, someone accidentally stepped on its leg. So I brought it to Healher Che"

Windu looked at you with skeptical eyes and sigh. He took the bird gently and looked at the leg who seemed already healed. He looked back at you "It looks fine now"

You nodded at him and released a breath who you didn't even realise you were holding "Can I keep it Master? Just to make sure it didn't get hurt"

Windu closed his eyes for a brief moment and kneeled in front of you. He held your shoulder gently "What do we learn about attachment young one?" you frown and sigh "I know attachment can lead to the dark side Master, but I promise I won't. I just want to take care of it"

Windu shook his head gently and stood up. He looked at you with a more serious gaze now or you called it with 'the council members gaze' "Young one, you need to control your emotions in check. You have already grown up now and soon you will be selected as a Padawan. If you can't control your emotions, it will be hard for you to be chosen as Padawan and we don't want that to happen"

You looked down at your feet and nodded "Yes Master, I understand" Looking at that, Windu's gaze softened, he took one of your hands and put the bird in your palm.

"Now let's set this little bird free together, shall we?"

You look up at the old Master and smile.

"With young Skywalker, how young Ahsoka did, hmm? Much potential the duo possessed" Master Yoda looked at Obi-Wan with a faint smile. Obi-Wan sat down on his chair and nodded at the old Grand Master "They indeed made a great duo Master, Ahsoka's presence really making a good influence on Anakin to teach him responsibility"

The Grandmaster nodded satisfied, "After young Skywalker, another Padawan, do you desire young Kenobi? perhaps hmm?" Obi-Wan rubs a hand over his beard, seems in deep thought "I don't think taking a Padawan is a really good choice in the middle of this war, but after looking at Ahsoka and Anakin. Perhaps I'll consider it Master"

"Good, it seems. Padawan for himself, Master Windu is already choosing hmm?" The old Master looking at Windu while holding his tomb. There’s a beat of silence before his reply comes "I do Master Yoda, but I still feel unsure considering their age is too young to become a Padawan"

The Grand Master shook his head gently and smiled. "Matter, age does not, to become a Padawan. Strong with the Force, they are, and guide them, it will. hmm" Windu nodded at this and seemed to agree with Master Yoda.

The Council continue the long discussion about taking young Padawan to the war zone. Some disagree. Some agree and the others simply remain silent. The idea of Jedi as a peacekeeper leading war is never to sit right in the first place, and now they had to bring the young Jedi to lead the Republic war? But they didn't have any other choice. It's what they believe so. Before the war there were more than thousands of them, and now because of this war there's a lot of them who had died to sacrifice themselves for the Republic victory. And now for the sake of peace, for the sake of their Jedi code lead them to this discussion.

"Heard enough, I have. Taking a vote, we will be. Consider the matter, we must. Collective decision, it shall be. Wisdom and insight, each member shall bring." Says Master Yoda, Before the council votes, the door swung open. Revealed the young Tholothian girl looks troubled "Ah- Apologize for the sudden interruption Masters" the young girl bow for a moment "Easy young one, what can we do for you?" says Master Plo koon gently, trying to ease the panic in her voice. The girl calmed her breath and answered

"There's a fight in the training ground"

Upon hearing the news, Master Yoda shook his head gently before swiftly making his way to the training ground, the rest of the council trailing closely behind. As they arrived at the training ground, they met with a disheartening sight. A pair of young Jedis, visibly battered and bruised, stood before them. Looking at their arrival, the boy quickly ran to them, leaving you behind with broken saber training in your hand.

"Masters please help me, they keep attacking me. It hurts Masters please"

Fury surged within you as the false accusations reached your ears, igniting a burning anger that consumed your thoughts and clouded your vision. You quickly tried to calm your anger, as you composed your thoughts and began to explain in desperate "No I didn't do it! He attacked me first, Masters please"

Your gaze darted anxiously from one council member to another, your eyes filled with a plea for belief. As your gaze meets with Windu's, you only look at the disappointment in his eyes, breaking your heart more. You drop the broken saber training in your hand and run away.

-a few hours ago, before the incident-

The training room crackled with energy as your lightsaber met with your sparing partner. Your blades whirled through the air. Trying to find the opening in your opponent's attack, sweat trickled down your forehead remaining focus. The air crackled with the hum of blades, each strike resonating with an intensity that sent vibrations through your very core. In a moment, you seized an opening in your opponent's defense. Purple and blue blade clash together as you swing, breaking his defense and disarming him.

Holding two training lightsabers in your hand, you point at his neck as your gaze meets his hard one. You lower your lightsaber and offering his weapon back, he snatched it from your grasp with a sudden, harsh motion as his gaze remained hard "You just lucky this time"

You scoff at that as you rolled your eyes, "Yeah, say that after I beat you like 3 times today Ian" He gritted his teeth, his jaw clenching tightly as a visible sign of his seething frustration, you sigh. "Seriously? I never understand why you seem to hate me that much. You know hatred can lead to the darkside" Without warning, he launched himself forward, his attack swift and ferocious as you block his blue lightsaber.

"Say that to someone who weild a purple lightsaber like you" He taunted, his voice dripping with mockery. As he kept lunged forward attacking you with furious swings, "You forget that Master Windu had the same saber as mine" you spat back as you raised your lightsaber to block the oncoming attack, the two blades colliding in a shower of sparks.

Your movements aimed at deflecting the blows rather than launching counterattacks. Despite your best efforts to block and avoid the attacks, Ian continued to press on relentlessly until he broke your defense as a strike landed solidly in your arm sending a jolt of pain towards your body "Stop, I don't want to hurt you" you strained, your voice laced with determination. But Ian seemed undeterred, he attacked unabated. As his face contorted with anger, he scoffed dismissively.

"Fight back your coward! No one chooses me as a Padawan because of you!" He lunge his lightsaber towards you as you block his attack again, "Maybe because you are not ready" you reply, making him shake his head, a mix of anger and frustration as he unleashed a powerful Force push, Your feet lost their footing, and your body collided with the ground as your head impacting with a jolt. Making your forehead begin to bleed profusely, leaving you momentarily stunned and breathless "I am always ready, more than anyone! until you come and try to get all the Masters attention!"

Gasping for a breath, you slowly rose to your feet as anger slowly began to consume you. You scoff at him as you wipe blood from your forehead "Then it's not my fault that I am more talented than you" you launched yourself towards your opponent. The clash of lightsabers echoed through the air as you unleashed a flurry of strikes, your movement fueled with a mix of adrenaline and anger. Ian seems taken aback by your sudden burst of energy, making you strike his arm and push him with force as the impact made him slam against the wall. You crash your lightsaber training on the wall beside his head as you try to gather your breath "I told you before, I don't want to hurt you"

After Master Yoda tells the boy to meet Healher Che at Medbay, he looks back at Obi-Wan gaze who remains still looking in the direction where your little figure ran away a minute ago. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the Grand Master, "Remind you of yourself, do they, young Kenobi? hmm" Master Yoda's voice carried a touch of curiosity and insight, his eyes gazing deeply into the young Jedi Master.

The question making Obi-Wan Kenobi pause, as a brief of flashback memories when he remembers he also got himself in the same position as you now. "Yes, Master Yoda," Obi-Wan responded, his voice steady yet tinged with a touch of introspection. "I didn't sense any lie in their words, they were telling the truth. I believe that the boy provokes them first"

But you can also sense anger from them" answer Windu as he sighing softly. There's a brief moment before he continues "I can't train them Master Yoda" Yoda nodded at this and looked back at Obi-Wan who seemed troubled. "But, Master Windu," Obi-Wan began, his tone measured yet earnest, "Surely you can train them to ease their anger"

Master Windu's expression remained stoic, his features unmoved by Obi-Wan's words. "My saber fighting form is not suitable for them" Master Windu paused, allowing a moment of silence to settle in the air. "You know well that Vapaad was explained as being a state of mind rather than just a fighting style. With their unstable emotions. It would lead them to the dark side, and I don't want to take that risk"

Obi-Wan's fingers instinctively reached up and grazed his beard, a troubled expression crossing his face. In his eyes, he saw reflection of his own past. He can feel how scared and lost you are. He can feel your desperation, the anger you feel when not being heard or understood. The look in your eyes broke his heart and he knew that he shouldn't feel this way as a Jedi, but he was willing to take the risk. He won't let you feel just like he did in his past, he won't let you feel alone.

"I'll take them as my Padawan"

A mischievous twinkle danced in Yoda's ancient eyes as a knowing smile spread across his face. It feels like he had foreseen this very moment unfold before him, "Train them, you will, hmm. The willingness of the Force, it seems."

You keep runaway ignoring the blood still dripping from your forehead and the pain as your head feels dizzy, until you reach the room of a thousand fountains. You hide behind the bush as you leaning against a sturdy rock, you huddled close, your arms wrapped tightly around your knees. Tears welled up in your eyes, shimmering with a mixture of sorrow, sadness, and anger. You don't understand how Ian could be that cruel. He is always bothering you since Ahsoka and Caleb are chosen as Padawans and shortly after that, Cal is also chosen and leave you behind alone.

You know you haven't been chosen because of your age, and now after the fight it will become worse. There's no Jedi Master who wants a Padawan like you, the one who can't control their anger. You hate this, being alone. You missed Ahsoka, she always comes to find you when you feel alone, and now she's not here. You are truly alone now, you think, until you sense someone coming. You look up as you see Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi smiling softly at you. When he sees you didn't say anything, he sat down beside you.

"Master Windu told me this is your favorite place"

You look down and refuse to meet his eyes, "What do you want Master Kenobi?" Your voice slightly trembles, making Obi-Wan's heart clench, he sighs "I don't come here to punish you young one, don't worry. I know how you feel" you scoff at this and the realization washed over you, that you had scoffed Master Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi. You quickly muttered an apology, but to your surprise he just laughed softly "I know it sounds unbelievable to you, but I can tell you a story about myself before I get chosen as a Padawan. How does that sound?"

You blinked up at him and nodded, he smiled at this. Obi-Wan's fingers reached up and grazed his beard as he couldn't help but wear a mischievous smile, a glint of playfulness dancing in his eyes. "But I don't think I have much time for that, since I need to go back to my batallion" He can sense disappointment in you as you nodded in understanding.

"But" he paused, as his smile widened. "I can tell you more story if you come with me as my Padawan" As the words left Obi-Wan's lips, a surge of surprise washed over you, your eyes widen. The surprise painted your face with a mixture of awe and gratitude. You shook your head gently still can't believe what just happened "But why?" you whisper, Obi-Wan's gaze soften. He raised his hand and reached out towards your cheek, he brushed away the tears.

"Because you remind me of myself. You are strong in force and talented young jedi, and I won't let you be alone"

#obi wan x padawan reader platonic #codywan #obi wan kenobi #star wars #clone wars #commander cody #padawan reader #child reader #reader insert #cody x reader platonic #obi wan x reader #cody x reader #platonic

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stardust-kenobi · 2 years

Text

Reminiscence

Part Three

Read Part 2

Obi Wan Kenobi x F!Reader

Summary: Obi Wan has been recognized in Mos Eisley, and with the Inquisitors monitoring the city, the two of you must temporarily relocate to avoid being found. During this time, your rampant nightmares persist.

Word count: 6.5k

Warnings: fluff, smut, one bed trope (is this a warning or a promise?), mention of death and violence

A/N: buckle in bitches we are getting some spice. but not like spice like drugs. Like SMUT. ITS FINALLY GETTING SMUTTY

gif cred: @mcgregor

“The girl is too close to you, Master Kenobi” Master Windu’s voice carried heavily through the empty room.

“I am training her the same way I trained Anakin. There is no special treatment” Obi Wan claimed.

“Others on the Council disagree”

“Well, let them. I am doing my duty as has her Master. Nothing more” Master Kenobi insisted, careful not to get too defensive.

“See to it that it stays that way”

“I shall”

Footsteps drew closer to the door.

“And Obi Wan,” Windu called to him again.

“Yes?”

“I should not need to remind you of the laws forbidding romantic attachments to your padawan” Windu spoke firmly.

“Yes, Master Windu”

The guilt of eavesdropping weighed heavy on your conscience as your ear remained pressed to the door. You scurried away and found your seat on the bench outside the council chambers, hearing Master Kenobi’s footsteps approaching the door. The thumping inside your chest would be hard to hide.

It was probable that Obi Wan didn’t know the subject matter of his sudden meeting with Master Windu. Otherwise he would not have brought you, even if you did remain outside the door. There was undeniable tension between the two of you, there always had been. Maybe it was the force, or perhaps just human nature, but a spark ignited every-time he was near. You know he felt it, too.

To your unfortunate surprise, others were taking notice. You thought it was subtle, harmless, but apparently not.

Maybe someone saw the two of you pressed against each other during your training, staring deep into each other’s eyes. Maybe that person caught a glimpse of how you broke a nervous sweat just being that close to him. Or, maybe, they took note of how many seconds passed before you pulled away from each other.

It was an accident, you tripped and fell into him and he caught you. It was only one time, and you swore to yourself it would never happen again.

Regardless, you were treading through dangerous waters, and you expected that things were going to get awkward with Master Kenobi for a while. Your desire for him could never outweigh the honor of becoming a Jedi, an opportunity you’d be a fool to throw away.

You couldn’t look him in the eye as the doors slid open, but you could feel his eyes on you.

“Let’s go. We are going to be late” He said flatly, referring to the Senate meeting starting soon.

“Yes, Master” You said softly, debating whether or not to bring it up. Ultimately, you decided to be brave and ask.

“Is everything okay?” You asked vaguely. You’d be embarrassed to give away the fact that you were snooping on his meeting.

“Hm? Oh, yes. Everything is fine” He replied, sounding unsure and convincing seemingly at the same time. He looked to you, his eyebrows lifted in curiosity to your inquiry.

“Good” You smiled nervously back to him.

As you strolled the halls briskly with him, you passed a number of Jedi, visitors, younglings, and senators. Not a single eye was watching you, but somehow it felt like the world had a magnifying glass upon you two like a science experiment.

As you passed an empty corridor, you almost lost your footing when Obi Wan pulled you to the side, finding a broad marble pillar to hide behind. This was a mostly unused wing of the Temple, he knew this as well as you did.

“Where are we-” You began, confused, but were cut off by Obi Wan’s frantic motions. He put your back to the pillar and got dangerously close to you again. Your breath hitched in your throat

“Listen to me, my young Padawan”

“Okay”

“I don’t know what you heard in that meeting but,” Obi Wan breathed out with dread, “this cannot wait until later”

“I heard most of it” You confessed, omitting the part where you shoved your ear to the crack in the entryway in order to do so.

“I see”

“I’m sorry” You shrunk into yourself, ashamed of your spying.

“No need for apologies. Just listen” He started again, but not without a great deal of hesitation, “There is something about you that makes me forget myself…you make me blissfully forget what is right and what is wrong. It’s not your fault, but I fear what may happen if I continue to train you”

“Master, what do you me-”

“I cannot focus when I am around you. I cannot control my desire for you. My mind wanders and it is torment to me”

Your mouth may have dropped to the floor if you had allowed it to. You’d never directly spoken about the tension. It was almost as if not speaking it into existence meant it wasn’t really happening and didn’t have to be addressed. You had no idea what effect you had on him…

“I have to request you be reassigned. I’m sorry”

Your heart shattered in response. He couldn’t be serious.

“Please, no,” you pleaded, “I’ve already been transferred once, please don’t make me go through that again”

His eyes grew sorrowful and full of remorse. Master Kenobi knew of what you’d been through and how much progress you lost when you were reassigned to him from Master Ti.

“I know, little one, but it must be done. I’m sorry.”

“We can…we can figure something out. Please, can we at least try? Obi Wan, I know I’m not innocent in this. I struggle to focus around you as well. But it’s a challenge I’m willing to learn to work through. We can both work on this, it doesn’t have to be this way” You rambled, hoping to convince him otherwise.

Obi Wan fell silent and searched your expression for how you really felt.

“We are capable of a fresh start. I think we owe it to ourselves to try” You debated to him.

“Very well”, He spoke softly and you sensed a feeling of relief from him, “but if there is temptation again, I won’t reconsider a second time”

“I understand”

After that day, you grew distant from him. This absolutely broke your heart, but it had to be done. You turned yourself cold and forced yourself to focus only on your duties as a Jedi in training. Obi Wan was never the same either. You both still cared deeply for one another, but you knew to continue your behavior and allowing temptation to take over would be your downfall.

“I’m proud of you, Y/N”

These were the last words Obi Wan spoke to you up until your reunion. You held onto these words for years until they faded into an obsolete pile of hope that wasted away with your memory of him. Your heart ached all the time without him there.

“Gather your things” Obi Wan stated frantically as he returned home from his work. He startled you in the middle of your reading.

“Uh, o-okay” You stuttered in confusion.

“We need to leave” He continued whilst packing his clothes into a bag.

“Obi Wan what’s going on?”

“I think I’ve been recognized” He stopped in his tracks to weigh the gravity of the situation.

“By who?”

“An inquisitor” He swallowed hard.

“Do they know where you live?” You hesitantly asked.

“I’m not sure. I don’t want to risk it. We have to go off planet. It’s not safe on Tatooine”

“Where will we go?” You asked while you gathered what little belongings you had.

“Batuu. Just long enough to lay low. A day or two. They’ll move on eventually”

“Are you sure you want to take me?” You asked timidly. In this situation you didn’t want to complicate anything. You would understand if you needed to stay behind.

“You go where I go” He turned to you, holding your shaking hands in his palms.

You nodded with a reassuring smile.

“I know a man who owns an Inn on Batuu. He lets me stay there unregistered. With the Empire’s new protocols, no one can have a room at an inn without proper registration. I pay him under the table, no questions asked. Unfortunately this has happened a couple of times”

“Will he be okay with you bringing a guest?”

“He will have to be. I’m not leaving you here”

As the civilian transport ship exited hyperspace, you couldn’t help but gasp. Just in the few days you’d spent on Tatooine made you miss greenery and oceans, both of which came into view as the ship made its descent.

You’d heard of Batuu years ago, it used to be home to a separatist outpost in the days of the Republic, therefore you imagine there was probably a heavy imperial presence. If you tried to go anywhere else, Obi Wan would have to register as a guest, which would scan him, and it would alert the inquisitors searching for him. This deal was your best bet at safety for now.

As a former Padawan, you were likely flagged in the imperial records as well. Anyone they don’t have a death record for is still considered ‘on the run’.

“Head down, walk calmly” He whispered through the shield of his hooded robe as you descended the ship's open ramp.

You did just that. As you walked through the streets of Batuu, you noticed the scattered stormtroopers that paid little attention to you.

“How far are we?” You asked. Every step you took helped to fry your nerves. You swallowed your fear and kept walking, trying your hardest not to think about what would happen if you were caught.

“Not too far now” He barely spoke above a whisper.

The path that carried you through town narrowed significantly, covered now by lush forest instead of power lines and artificial lighting. You were nearly alone now, traveling down a stone walkway that began to feel like you two were walking through a fairy tail. You still mostly kept your head down. You could never be too sure.

You cautiously tilted your head up and caught a glance of an extravagant structure that towered over 20 floors. Elegant music trailed into your ears as you approached what looked like a resort, of some kind. The whole building stuck out like a sore thumb and drowned out the rest of the town in comparison, which you assume is why it’s tucked away outside of town. The exterior reflected the light like an Alderaanian palace, and the balconies that scattered up and down the length of its height held partygoers and travelers with credits to blow.

“This is the Inn?” You stopped, your jaw dropped.

“Not what you were expecting?” He smirked. That little devil, trying to impress you.

“Not quite” You laughed.

“I guess I never did describe it, did I?”

He’s so smug and doesn’t even realize it.

You hadn’t seen something so extraordinary since before the rise of the Empire. Since before you both went into hiding.

Obi Wan watched in adoration as your face twinkled under the shining lights. Your face was lit up like a child entering hyperspace for the first time. It excited you, staying somewhere this fancy. But it excited you even more to be staying there with him.

The interior was just as amazing. Everything shimmered and glistened, accented in gold. You could wipe the awe off your face, meanwhile all the guests in the lobby seemed incredibly adjusted to it.

“Many of them live here, they only rent out a few of the rooms. This is an interesting crowd but if you pretend like you belong, they won’t even notice us” He said, leaning over to you.

You nodded and looked around to observe the other guests. They all had a drink in hand, each one of them laughing or talking amongst a group. Their clothing reflected the exact establishment you were standing in. They were eccentric individuals, the types you’d seen plenty of back on Coruscant, but you can’t recall seeing these types of party goers around within the past few years. They all had this look in their eye, though, like they were avoiding the deep sorrow and regret lingering within them. You felt sorry for them, but also envious of their denial of what life had become.

“Hello, I’m looking for Satja” Obi Wan spoke confidently to the front desk. The receptionist looked startled, as if she’d seen a ghost.

“One moment”

“How do you know this guy again?”

“Long story”

A short man appeared from around the corner of a hidden office.

“Obi Wan!” The man shouted in glee when he saw him. You flinched at the call of his real name but then noticed, yet again, the partying hotel guests couldn’t care less. This was an interesting place.

“Satja, how are you?” Obi Wan smiled pleasantly at the man.

“Just fine, just fine. Business is booming as you can see!” He cackled, gesturing to the busy lobby.

“Yes, it seems so!”

“But hey, I don’t do it for the money”

“Satja, you only do this for money” Obi Wan scoffed playfully.

“You got me there”

“Listen, I won’t keep you. Just the usual, please” He softened his voice with the request.

“Nesa, take a quick break honey, I’ll take care of this one”

Satja shooed away the receptionist, who looked equally confused and pleased to be given a break.

“I gotta warn you, Obi Wan, Empire is cracking down. Don’t know if I’ll be able to do this much longer”

“What do you mean?”

“Bunch a’ troopers came in here last week asking for registration logs. It’s hard to fake those documents when you occupy a room without proper registration” Satja said regretfully. Obi Wan tried to hide his concern.

“But hey, I’ll keep helping ya as long as I can, I owe you my life”

“Thank you” Obi Wan nodded humbly. You decided that was a question for another day.

“So who’s this? Girlfriend?”

You cringed at the question, hoping he didn’t feel the pressure to say yes or no, so you spoke for him.

“Just good friends catching up” You smiled back.

“Oh yeah, we gotta lot of people that come here to ‘catch up’. I gotcha” he winked and cackled at his own comment again.

“Oh I’m sure you do,” You joked back to him.

“I’ll spare you the details of why we are here but 2 nights would be greatly appreciated. Whatever you have”

“You got it, my friend. 250”

“Why so much less than usual?”

“I gave you the ‘catching up’ special” Satja nudged him and began cackling again. You couldn’t help but laugh too, it was utterly contagious. Obi Wan was red in the face, trying to hide his smirk but failing completely.

“Satja” Obi Wan groaned

“Oh I’m just teasing. None of these jokers let me get in a good laugh around here”

“I thought it was funny” You corrected.

Satja high-fived you and looked at Obi Wan smugly. He worked some things in the data pad and took the credits from Obi Wan.

“Alright, pal. Room 16028G”

“That’s one of your nicer rooms isn’t it?” Obi Wan looked at him in astonishment.

“We just had a cancellation. Consider it my little gift to you”

“Thank you, Satja” You said graciously.

The walk to the elevators was filled with even more amusement. There was something fascinating to observe at every turn.

As the door to your room flung opened, you gasped. Similar to the lobby, the room was a perfect embodiment of elegance. The best resort accommodations that credits could buy. You weren’t used to this indulgence of luxurious things, you never had that in your life. The Jedi Temple is all of its glory paled in comparison. The room wasn't huge. It was a typical size, maybe a little larger, but the décor was beautiful.

“This is certainly nicer than the room he usually gives me”

“Wow” You mumbled. It was all you managed to say.

“It’s nice having company this time” He turned to you.

You smiled back at him as you set down your small satchel on the settee.

As you both took in the breathtaking view from your balcony and unpacked your belongings, you decided to pretend, just once, that you’re on vacation. Hiding from the empire should not be considered a vacation, but you must enjoy it if you can. Being with him was truly the only vacation you needed, anyways. The fancy inn was just a bonus.

“Dammit”

“What is it?”

“I guess I didn’t pack any clothes to sleep in” You rubbed your forehead. You were so frantic to leave earlier that you forgot to grab something, anything, to sleep comfortably in.

“You can borrow my tunic, here” Obi Wan offered kindly and tossed his clean sandy colored shirt to you. You recognized it as a shirt he typically slept in.

“Thank you”

You changed in the refresher and opted out of wearing anything under the shirt he let you borrow. It didn’t swallow you whole, but it was a bit longer than the bottom curve of your ass, and he’d never know you were naked beneath it. The idea of that…excited you.

“Are you okay with sleeping with m-…next to me?” Obi Wan asked as you exited the refresher.

“Of course. Besides, it’s a pretty big bed. I think we might lose each other in there” You joked.

Your heart raced inside your chest as you laid your head down on the pillow. He slept next to you that one night on Tatooine, but somehow this felt different. You hadn’t touched or kissed each other since the night at the cantina and that was almost a week ago. Nothing had been awkward, the moment just hadn’t felt right since then.

You turned away from him as you were too nervous to look at him lying next to you. It should be impossible to sleep right now, but you needed the rest, and you could only fight your heavy eyelids for so long before they defeated you.

“I probably won’t drift off to sleep for a while” Obi Wan whispered to you.

“I’m pretty tired now. I’ll probably go ahead and sleep”

“Goodnight, darling”

“Goodnight, Obi Wan”

A fuzzy cloud swept over your mind as memories began to flash back in front of you. There were screams. Distant, blood curdling screams. The child you protected kept disappearing from behind you. And a Jedi in your path kept falling to his death over…and over…and over. It was a loop… a horrid loop that grew louder and louder with every go around.

You couldn’t breathe. You gasped for air but your lungs failed you. You tried to scream but it was empty and silent. No one was coming to save you, but could you even save yourself?

A new vision came before you that was an unfamiliar loop in your nightmare. It was…Obi Wan. He stood before you, petrified. A red glow grew brighter behind him.

“Obi Wan?”

“Y/N, help me”

“I’m coming”

“Help, he’ll kill me”

A modulated breath pushed through a villainous mask. Everything went dark as Obi Wan pleaded for his life. His screams were cut short. You cried for him but he was gone.

—

Your eyes shot open and you leaned up in bed. You were breathing heavy and you must’ve screamed or cried in your sleep because Obi Wan was already moving to comfort you.

“I’m here, darling, I’m here” Obi Wan called calmly to you, “Sssh, it’s alright”

“Obi Wan” You whispered with realization of where you were.

It wasn’t real. I’m with him. I’m okay. He’s okay.

“Yes, I’m right here. Take a deep breath” He consoled you, scooting closer to you in bed.

Despite your best efforts not to break into a full on sob in front of him, you fell apart like shattered glass as he wrapped his strong arms around you. Your cheeks became soaked with tears before they seeped into the cloth of his shirt as you wept shamelessly in his grasp.

“They never stop, Obi Wan” You cried, trying to calm your breathing to prevent hyperventilation. The nightmares were back in full force again.

“I know, dear, I have them too” He spoke with sorrow.

“You do?”

“Yes. They’re debilitating” He said as he rubbed his hands up and down your arms, tucking your head under his chin. Being shielded by him was like being wrapped in a warm, blaster-proof blanket. “Waking up to one of those nightmares just to remember you’re alone in the desert is…hard”

You tried to calm yourself but your nerves were absolutely shot.

“It wasn’t real, you’re alive and you’re safe”

“Thank you” You whispered. You were so grateful for his presence in that moment.

"I'll hold you as long as you need"

You began to calm gradually as your mind processed and distinguished the difference between your nightmare and reality. You and Obi Wan sat there in silence for a while. He stroked your hair and kept your cheeks dry as your tears fell. You smiled to yourself, he was so selflessly kind.

"How are you feeling?" He asked after your tears had dried from your eyes.

"Better... a little freaked out, but I'm better" You sighed.

"I find it difficult to go back to sleep after one of my nightmares. Sometimes I just don't fall back asleep at all" He noted.

You nodded in agreement, but your mind immediately sparked a bad idea. When you would have difficulty falling asleep, oftentimes you would masturbate to ease your nerves. Sometimes you did it because you were horny and wanted to feel that pleasure, other times it was strictly an effort to chemically balance your brain back to normal and allow sleep to come easier.

"I have a trick to falling back asleep" You said, wondering if he'd ask what it is.

"Well good, so you'll be alright tonight?"

"Actually..." You winced, suddenly afraid to admit it.

"What is it?"

"I can't really do that...method...right now" You crawled across your words slowly.

"What do you mean?" He pondered, his eyebrows pushed together in confusion.

"I usually do it...alone" You emphasized. Your body may have been behaving by memory, but you felt yourself growing aroused just at the conversation of pleasuring yourself.

"Alone, like whe-....oh" He stopped himself when he realized. His eyes scanned the room before snapping back to you. Your face had changed and your tears had dried, and he could see in your eyes that you needed a release, "Well that's only natural. I'm sure it works well as a sleep aid"

"I could go and do that in the refresher, I suppose" You offered.

"No, you can do it in bed, I won't disturb you" He said sweetly. He sounded so innocent but you know just how much it would rile him up if you got yourself off right next to him, “I- I could um, I can go on the balcony and give you the privacy”

"No it’s okay, i'll be quiet" You whispered. He groaned softly in response, “unless you’re uncomfortable with me doing that beside you” You implied, the conversation felt tense as you bounced back and forth with what you were planning to do.

“No, darling, mm, not at all” His voice grew flustered as his imagination ran wild. You giggled to yourself at the effect you were having on him. You loved it.

You moved to pull away from his hold and you were faced with a restraint…his arms subtly tightened, causing an even filthier idea to flutter into your mind.

"Would you help me?" You whispered up to him sensually, and by no accident, you hoped to entice him.

"Yes" He breathed, his words were failing him, but he was dying to put his hands on you. He was a gentleman, after all, he never wanted to make you uncomfortable with the first move.

You sat up, pressing your back into his chest. You turned your head to him and stared deep into his hungry eyes. Your gaze traveled to his lips, so warm and needing attention. In a gentle motion, Obi Wan pressed hard into your lips, bringing his fingers to run through your hair. He let a moan of relief and satisfaction seep into your mouth.

You’d found yourself locking lips with him three times now since you found him, but as he slipped his tongue over your lip and into your mouth, you understood that it would actually go somewhere further this time. You were ready for him. You wanted to give yourself to him completely.

He slid his right hand between the curves of your thighs and motioned for you to open your legs. The miserable, radiating ache for him was pulsing harder with every inch that he moved across your skin.

His fingers were trembling, shaking with the anticipation of over ten years of pent up desire.

“Is this okay?”

“Mmhm” You hummed, so overwhelmed with need that you couldn’t think straight.

Your legs opened wide, pushing the pure white, luxury linens to slide off your knees.

The only light pushing through the room was the blue of the moonlight. Batuu was known for its large moon, it casted more light than most planets’ did. It allowed visibility for Obi Wan to see every inch of your body that you exposed to him without a single light turned on. It was romantic, like it was just you, Obi Wan, and the stars that lit up the galaxy. Nothing and no one mattered to you in that moment besides him.

His fingers found the hem of your shirt, his shirt, and slowly lifted the material to reveal that you wore nothing underneath. He immediately broke the contact against your lips to catch sight of your most sensitive area.

"Gods, Y/N” He faltered, “You weren’t wearing anything under this?”

“No, I wanted to be naked under your clothes” You purred.

His jaw clenched hard, like he was trying to stop himself from ravaging you right then. You felt his cock growing hard as it pressed against your lower back.

His hand idled at your inner thigh as he used the other to wrap around your body and hold you up against him.

“Touch me, please” You begged.

He waited no longer as his finger began to caress your slit. You could feel how wet you were, practically dripping for him, any part of him. He ran his middle finger through your wetness and a guttural, primal moan crawled from his throat.

“You’re already this wet for me?” He asked, his voice barely breaking a whisper.

“Yes, all for you”

His fingertips found the bud of your clit, and gave it the contact it so desperately begged you for. The electricity and fire that coursed through you the second he really touched you was overwhelming and you almost couldn’t handle the sensation.

Obi Wan used a perfect rhythm to rub delicate circles against your clit. You started to moan softly, suddenly finding yourself to be shy with him.

“Let me hear you, darling” He whispered softly against your ear. A wave of chills shot down your spine.

Your whimpering grew louder, messier. It was no question any longer how he was making you feel.

“Feels so good, Obi Wan” You breathed.

“I’ve wanted to make you feel good for so long, Y/N. I always wondered what my name sounded like falling off those beautiful lips”

You bucked your hips into his motions, but he firmly grabbed around your waist with his other hand to hold you steady. He halted his pressure against your clit and redirected his digits to your wetness. He caressed your entrance gently, taking in the magnitude of your desire for him.

He inserted one finger, and you arched your back in response. it wasn’t even the actual feeling of having something inside you, it was having him inside you that lit a fire upon your skin.

With every inch of his touch, he listened to the way your body responded. He watched how you reacted to the different ways he pleasured you, wanting to be in tune with what felt good for you, and getting off on that himself.

His finger thrusted in and out slowly, letting you adjust to one finger before adding a second. His thumb moved to return attention back to your clit as he fucked you with his fingers. There was such an intimacy about being pressed against his chest and him looking down and watching you writhe under his control.

“I’m g-getting close” You muttered as the release slowly crept up to you.

“Come around my fingers darling” He groaned. His words and consistent pacing of his fingers sent you over the edge.

It burst open and washed over your body, radiating from your core and trickling out to your limbs. You felt it deep in your bones. You whimpered and moaned his name while you came and your walls clenched around his fingers. Through your own euphoria, you were able to hear the sounds of approval that came from him while he watched you lose control in his grasp. You floated down slowly, your climax riding out longer than normal, pleasantly surprising you.

He removed his fingers slowly, and gently massaged your clit again. The sensitivity jolted your body but it felt so good. He pulled away, and you watched as he placed his fingers in his mouth to savor the taste of you. You let out an unintentional moan. You wanted more. You needed more.

“You taste as sweet as those pretty little noises you make” He praised, turning your head back up to him to kiss you with a greater passion than before. You could taste yourself on his tongue, and it drove you crazy.

“Do you think you could sleep now?” He asked so innocently.

“No” You answered breathlessly.

“Would you like me to do that again?”

You melted at his offer. This man probably hasn’t had sex in years but he’s still not expecting anything from you in return. It turned you on even more.

“I want you” You breathed, still allowing your lungs to catch up after riding your high, “to fuck me”

Obi Wan released a deep moan and attacked your swollen lips again.

“Anything for you, darling” He whispered against your mouth.

He took over and gently lifted your only piece of clothing off your body. Obi Wan then laid you down on your back. As he hovered above you, he cherished the sight of you naked beneath him, exactly what he said he needed that night you went to the cantina.

“Stars, you are…absolutely breathtaking” He stared in awe, allowing his eyes to roam every curve of your being. His hand stroked delicately over your breasts, feeling the peak of your nipples under his rough skin.

“Somehow, you look even more gorgeous than I always imagined” He smiled, finally looking back up to your eyes, “I didn’t even think that was possible”.

You blushed and reached for the hem of his shirt to help him pull it over his head. There were not enough hours in the day to properly allow you to study the intricacy of his body. He had scars and rough edges that told a lifetime of stories. You were enthralled by the sight of his bare skin, and you wanted it pressed against you immediately. There was a masculine broadness about his chest that was speckled with hair that made your heart skip a beat.

Obi Wan shyly chuckled at your admiration. You stared up at him and lost yourself in the expression on his face. Neither of you had ever said it out loud, but in that moment you knew he loved you. A man could not possibly look at you the way he was and not love you deeply. It almost brought a tear to your eye but now was not the time to get emotional

You tugged lightly at his pants that you desperately needed him to remove. He smirked before getting up and standing to the side of the bed to pull them off.

There he stood, completely exposed to you as you were to him. His size was impressive, and you didn’t mean to let a gasp fly from your lips but he was flattered by your reaction. You wanted to take him into your mouth and pleasure him how he did for you, but when you moved your mouth toward him, he stopped you.

“Darling I cannot wait another minute to be inside you”

You shivered in anticipation. He moved back onto the bed and hovered over you, hips resting between your legs. Your heart began to flutter again. You hadn’t had sex in a long time, and somehow this felt like the first time all over again.

Slowly, he pushed his tip at your entrance and took a deep breath in before he thrusted all the way in. Your breath hitched in your throat before he bottomed out, burying his cock fully inside you. You both moan in pure ecstasy at the feeling of being completely connected with one another.

He kept his thrusts slow, careful to let you adjust to him before changing pace. The curl of his hips with each motion brushed the sweetest spot inside you, repeatedly driving you insane.

Obi Wan did not break away from your gaze but only seconds at a time to look down and watch your bodies fuse together so beautifully.

“Obi Wan” You whimpered softly.

“Y/N, Gods you feel…s-so amazing” He moaned through his praises, “You are so beautiful”

“Oh my gods” You cried out, feeling another release approaching. Obi Wan was wise to, once again, listen to the way your body reacted to him.

He pulled your knees up and placed them against his chest. With this angle he was able to hit that sweet spot even easier. Your moans grew louder and he could feel your walls clenching around his length.

“That’s it, darling there you go…come on my cock” He praised, encouraging you. You melted at his words, so aroused to hear him talk like this.

Words could not form through the intensity of the wave that crashed over you this time. You lost control of your moaning and fell apart so gracefully beneath him. Stars formed to cloud your vision as you floated on that high. You cried his name over and over, letting him know just how good he made you feel. As you eased back down from your euphoric high, Obi Wan lowered your legs down and slowed his thrusting.

“I’m getting close, darling, where do you w-”

“Inside me. I’m on the pill” You reminded him so as to not let him worry about that possibility.

Obi Wan trembled against you as his whimpering grew louder and you felt him twitch against your walls. You held his face and pulled him deep into a kiss as he spilled himself inside you. He moaned through your kiss, sending vibrations across your lips. You felt him grip the sheets beside you as he came down from his high.

Gently, you broke away from him. As you looked up, you ran your fingers through his messy hair, and smiled sweetly at him. That was everything you ever imagined it would be, and you already wanted to go again, despite how tired you were.

“That was well worth the wait” You whispered to him.

“Yes, it was” He spoke softly back to you and planted a delicate kiss on your lips before laying down next to you. You laid your head on his glistening chest and listened to the thumping of his heartbeat, otherwise, It was silent between you two for a few moments as you both soaked in the reality of what just happened.

“I would’ve waited a lifetime for that” He said, turning to you, “I would wait a lifetime for you”.

“10 years alone sure feels like a lifetime” You muttered.

The two of you rested silently as you settled back into reality. You could not stop smiling, not matter how hard you tried. As you glimpsed Obi Wan you caught sight of a grin on his face that he, too, couldn’t get rid of.

Soon after, Obi Wan brought you a robe and the two of you sat in the chairs on your room's balcony to watch the Batuu sky and listen to the party going guests wind down for the night.

“Do you remember that day that Master Windu had to talk with me about our relationship?” Obi Wan randomly asked.

“Yes, I remember that. I also remember you trying to get rid of me” You teased playfully.

“I am sorry for that.”

“That was only, what, a month before all was lost?” You pondered.

“I think so” Obi Wan concurred, and dropped his head.

For a few moments you both stared at the moon in admiration. You looked over to Obi Wan, observing the way the moonlight danced over the texture of his skin. You never got tired of looking at him.

“I never stopped thinking about what you said,” You began, reminiscing back to that conversation, “how you said you couldn’t think around me…that you had forgotten what was right and what was wrong”

“It was true. In all my years I had never let anyone or anything distract me that much. My feelings for you terrified me” He smiled somberly.

“How did you feel about me, really?”

“That is a conversation for another time” He nervously chuckled.

"What? Why not now?" You laughed in response, surely he was joking.

"Y/N" He spoke softly and shut his eyes, wishing you'd drop the subject immediately.

“Are you serious?” Your tone went flat.

“Please drop it, Y/N” He pleaded.

"No, tell me why you don't want to talk about it!" You raised your voice, something you'd never done to him before. It shocked you, but you so desperately wanted to know that your greed for information reared an ugly head.

"Because it hurts! It all hurts. Reliving every second of what our lives as Jedi used to be rips me to pieces” He snapped, taking you by an unpleasant surprise, "I can't talk about this anymore" He concluded, his tone riddled with painful anguish. He wouldn't look at you, he couldn't if he tried.

Before you could speak another word, he rose from his seat and returned inside, leaving you alone on the patio to stare into the night sky.

You were angry with yourself for pushing him. Of course it hurt, you knew that as well as he did, so you should've known better than to insist upon the discussion. It did not sway your curiosity. Your mind still pondered how he may have felt for you back then. As he said, it's a conversation for another time.

Truly, you were still confused about his feelings for you now. You'd just made love and it was everything your heart dreamed of since you first fell for him all those years ago. You'd been too foolish to admit to yourself that it was love that you felt for him, not just friendship, not just tension, not just attraction.

It is love.

Part 4 is here!

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