Moodboard for when you have to do your assignment that you know you will enjoy doing but can't get yourself to do it anyway and it's living hell because you have to do it AND want to do it but you just CAN'T

pitched battle inside my brain between the part of me that's desperately shaking myself by the shoulders going "YOU HAVE GOT TO ACTUALLY LIVE THE KIND OF LIFE YOU IMAGINE INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING AROUND IMAGINING IT UNTIL YOU DIE!!" and the part of me that's clutching my face going "is this allowed? is this allowed?? is this allowed???"

if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?

I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.

Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.

Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.

Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.

Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.

Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.

If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.

So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.

It’s hard to put on a bright face, in spite of everything (Patreon)

i hate this. i want to be in love

cancelling my therapy appointment for this month (on the 4th) because i really just dont have it in me to hav to walk in there and tell her about how much a failure i am & have been since we last talked n sit in her judgement & scolding for an hour straight

trying to think of things to do with that guy cause he invited me to his place but I’m kind of nervous 👉🏼👈🏼

i need more friends

i keep thinking i rly didnt go thru that much growing up, but idk, everytime i tell someone abt my life, they say i did and kinda just like sit in shock abt it. am i just internet brained or smth, or am i just dramatic?? i rly dont think ive earned a lot of the symtoms of someone who was traumatized that i have. or maybe i havent been in a safe place for long enough to process things??? i dunno. maybe someday far away in the future ill figure things out

I have 3 moods apparently, perfectly represented by my blogs-

unnamed hellsite blog- cursed cursed cursed long posts unasked for asks that are cursed cursed cursed

this blog- i’m sad and bored but appreciate my mutuals so very much and yay animals and musicals

wishfularoace blog- someone love me pls

Hmmm I kinda want to make a side blog for RPG Maker game development related things to be able to talk to more experienced people in that community, but at the same time I both don’t really think I’d get much attention and don’t want to accidentally spoil my own game (^^ ; ).

I have a rough story, concept doodles, a tileset, some character sprites, an enemy that walks around but can’t initiate battle yet (if I even decide to have a battle system), a couple rooms with some events, and a functioning run button, but I’m still lost on how to do much else at the moment. Especially since this program has the ability for scripting, meaning I’ll probably have to learn and actually retain another coding language.

So, I’m not very far at all lol. Idk how well that’d go over on the established fandom website, but eh.

I know everyone loves to talk about the experience that is reading a fic so good that you get to the end and it lives in your head rent free for days on end but I feel like we should also all acknowledge and appreciate the far more common experience of sitting around reading a thoroughly mediocre fic for three hours straight and getting to the end and just going "well, that kind of sucked. Lol. Anyways-" and going to bed as if you didn't stay up late to read the whole thing at once

nail girlie momo forcing everyone in the dan to let her practice on their hands and kido is always letting her bc Whoa momo holding my hand for over an hour. crazy. but ALSO kido is one of those ppl incredibly fidgety abt nail filling and all that so they sit through it with the power of gay love. they stare at momo the whole time bc she sticks her tongue out in concentration and kido thinks its cute. whatever

and when it's done they see their hands and it feels so foreign kinda like when rin dressed them in those fancy clothes. then gets emo abt rin bc she always had such perfectly manicured hands. erm anyways then they get distracted when momo's like THEY LOOK SO PRETTY DANCHOU THEY SUIT U:3

Okay so here's the take.

I don't trust people who hate kids, but I also don't trust people who refuse to believe that you can be bad with kids or incompatible with parents.

I don't trust people who hate kids, but I understand that on a root societal level people don't properly respect childcare as anything that can be difficult or kids as something you're allowed to not want to have or spend time with.

I don't trust people who hate kids, but I have patience and forgiveness for people who come to the point of saying they hate kids because they're not allowed to say "kids are fine, but not for me" because unless they turn this answer uglier and uglier people will keep trying to talk them out of it because having children is treated much like romance- nobody is allowed to think "that hard" about it or practice it in any sort of """aberrant""" manner but also everyone has to always do it because otherwise we'd have to independently negotiate our relationship with it and that's scary, so it gets turned into a norm that its most enthusiastic defenders all joke about hating anyway.

Kids cannot help but need you. They are not monsters. They're just humans at their most vulnerable. I think everybody should work to gain the skills to make cohabitation with children as mutually painless as possible. That's the baseline I think you can reasonably require as other people. Kids are in society, that's where they should be, and if you are driven to fury by this notion you may be exhibiting an intolerance of vulnerability that probably bleeds over into other areas of your life, maybe examine that.

Nobody is ever obligated to have kids, nobody is ever obligated to like being around kids, nobody is ever obligated to want kids. If someone doesn't think they'd be a good parent it is not your job to talk over this.

Producing a child isn't a badge that you're a real grown-up. (also, holy hell, fathers should have a meaningful stake in their kids' lives, but that's a different issue)

Nobody should have kids unless they earnestly and wholeheartedly commit to it and nobody should take it upon themselves to get on their friends', neighbors', relatives', acquaintances' case about So When Are You Gonna Change Your Mind And Have Kids

but don't take that out on the kids themselves, guys? Kids live in the same reality as adults but they have less experience, less control over where they're going or what they experience, and less ability to separate what's happening right now from what is true of all reality forever. This can be super frustrating to deal with from the outside but I guarantee it is worse from the inside.

I wonder if Sakura was supposed to kill Junko.

If Mukuro believed she was going to fake die and then go help Junko run the Killing Game.

If she really believed she was never going to have to be part of the class trial part of the game, and then when Sayaka screwed up that plan and Junko wasn't going to let up and was going to force her to actually play, Mukuro didn't even think about the rest of it. If that's why she noped so hard and stepped on Monokuma.

Like - the idea of Mukuro prior to this during the lead up to the tragedy having to sit around while Junko makes her best OC ever Monokuma DO NOT STEAL and Junko sending one of the first Monokuma over to her excited because he's working and Mukuro both amused but also a soldier who very easily proves that Monokuma is nothing by Look, Junko, he's a stuffed bear, I can just step on him! and He's not a stuffed bear; he's Monokuma!

Of Mukuro only ever half-taking Monokuma seriously and that being fine outside of the Killing Game, but she can't get away with it here because Monokuma has to be taken seriously.

Mukuro who expected a very specific plan and was not particularly flexible to being collateral damage when the plan didn't go right (except it did) and as a result literally causing herself to be collateral damage.

Because you thought Monokuma couldn't be terrifying; screw you, I will prove he CAN, and you will be my example met with Junko Ultimate Analyst listening to the Ultimate Gambler about being adaptable.