#its okay if things go bad!!!! its just more stories 2 tell ppl!!!! ppl love my stories!!!! ugh i just needa put myself out there | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ladytauria · 5 months

Note

2, 3, 5, 6 (and will you read it in the upcoming year), 10 ,14, 18, 20, 24 y 25!

thank you for asking!!! i had to grab books from last year bc this year was a bad reading year for me, but the questions were/are fun!

2. Did you reread anything? What?

i reread the last unicorn yesterday!!! bc i was feeling nostalgic. i made. a BUNCH more highlights in my kindle. (altho i read my physical copy lol.) there's just... so much good stuff in there, aah.

(oh ik u sent me an ask about this, idk if you saw it--ik tumblr is goofy--but its here! also, minor clarification: it doesn't have a *sequel* but there's a pair of novellas, released as one book, that are set in the same world!)

3. What were your top five books of the year?

i. didn't read very much this year at all. (er, published books! i did read a ton of fanfic). the beginning of this year was exTREMELY stressful, and in the latter half, all the books i started just. failed to grab me :/

that said!! i met my reading goal last year, so i will just include those!!

One of the books I did read this year was The Cybernetic Tea Shop by Meredith Katz, a v cute novella about a mechanic & an android. It's set a few centuries in the future, where robotics have advanced significantly. Intelligent AI were banned a long time ago, but those few whose bodies have not eroded / code hasn't corrupted are allowed to remain. The android in the fic runs a Tea Shop, which she inherited from her long-deceased lover <3 (The book is also sappic! I would love to read more of Katz's work.

Also, like I said, I reread The Last Unicorn, which I think would be on a top 5 in general for me, if I were ever to attempt to narrow that down xD. The prose in this book is beautiful; there are so many lovely lines. And the themes in the book--the play of mortality vs immortality, the structure of fairy tales & how the ppl in this setting are v much bound by them--are present from the very beginning, which was a fun thing to pick up on during my reread xD

All Systems Red by Martha Wells! I read a lot of sci-fi last year for some reason? Anyway, I adored this. Murderbot is a fascinating pov character & I love the choices Wells makes with it. My only gripe is that I could not immediately go out and buy the rest of the series.

Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger!!! this was. so cute. It's YA, I think? Yes, okay, Storygraph confirms this. The writing is lovely, and I adore the main character and the story! One thing you see a lot of--or, actually, I guess I should say I see a lot of--in YA is like. The rebellion against authority figures? Parents are often antagonists, and I understand why this is, but it was very refreshing that in this book Elatsoe's parental/adult figures were so present & involved & like. There was this mutual respect between them that I adored. Also, she can talk to ghosts? And solves her cousin's murder by doing so! And she has a ghost dog. What's not to love?? (Oh, and she's ace, which I think I remember her mentioning explicitly! Also, the way Native culture is threaded through the book is just. Lovely.)

Am. Am I already at 5. How did. How did I get to 5 already 🥺 *kicks foot* Okay. I. Would not be me. If I didn't mention Nona the Ninth. The only reason I didn't rec the Locked Tomb series to you is bc you mentioned not wanting sci-fi, and while there are a lot of fantasy elements, it is. Very sci-fi. Anyway. I admit that I was not enthused about going into this book. Nona was originally going to be a novella, released between Harrow & Alecto, and when I heard it was getting full novel status I was. Kind of not happy. But oh my god. It was so good. The first half, or maybe even 2/3rds, of the book is very slice-of-life, with Nona going to school & planning her birthday party (despite being only 6mo old). You can tell there is more Plot happening, but Nona is v much oblivious and also being kept out of it. And then the last half/3rd is Plot-Plot-Plot. And my god. That ENDING. Alecto can't get here soon enough, I'm. I need it. I need it. OH. Okay, no, I was right when I said half bc this book is the first split POV, in that every other chapter / every couple chapters is narrated by Jod. (The God Emperor, John Gaius) while he tells his story. It was fascinating, I thought I would hate those chapters, but he is. Such a compelling antagonist, omg. Also there were more memes uwu. First book I ever annotated along with as I was reading, too!! I---

Stopping. Cutting myself off. Sorry; these books make me gush.

5. What genre did you read the most of?

Normally the answer to this is fantasy, but! I think Sci-Fi won out <3

6. Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

Yes! Both last year and this year I meant to read some of my spooky-ish books for October and did not. Specifically! I meant to read:

Carmilla & Laura by S.D. Simper -> I have so many of Simper's books on my kindle, but this one is a standalone, which I've been prioritizing so I don't go buy more books w/o reading the ones I have. This is a re-telling, which I was going to read with / around the copy of the original that I have.

Plain Bad Heroines - Emily M. Danforth -> I believe this is told in a dual timeline? After three people are killed at a girls' boarding school, it closes its doors. Over a century later, a bestselling book is written about the girls and inspires a horror-film adaptation, filmed on-site. And I'm just going to use the last line of the goodreads blurb, bc it makes me want to read it now: But as Brookhants opens its gates once again, and our three modern heroines arrive on set to begin filming, past and present become grimly entangled—or perhaps just grimly exploited—and soon it’s impossible to tell where the curse leaves off and Hollywood begins.

My Dearest Darkest by Kayla Cottingham -> One of the books I did start. I'm 9% in. It's a YA novel, also set at a boarding school. A group of girls accidentally summon an eldritch horror who promises to grant their every desire... for a price, which becomes steeper and steeper as time goes on.

The Lost Girls by Sonia Hartl -> Also YA! I got this one recently. A vampire turned by her boyfriend ends up falling for his latest victim, while plotting with his other exes to kill him.

There are a lot more I'm carrying into next year, but I am most disappointed in not getting to those!

Oh, and the Priory of the Orange Tree. (I'm. 20% through. This one is a Beast!!)

10. What was your favorite new release of the year?

I don't buy a lot of new releases for cost reasons---these days most of my books are purchased through ThriftBooks or eBook sales (I am subbed to a few sites which notify you of deals; my favorite of which is BookBub). However! I had Nona pre-ordered <3 So. Nona.

14. What books do you want to finish before the year is over?

any of them.

going into the new year with only 2 books read last/this year makes me very sad 🥺

18. How many books did you buy?

i plead the fifth

also i have no clue

20. What was your most anticipated release? Did it meet your expectations?

gotta go with Nona. i was a weird mix of both unenthused (bc this was supposed to be kind of a side novella) and enthused (bc i love this series and i wish i could do what Tamsyn Muir does) but it not only met but surpassed my expectations. Nona was... Nona's identity was a core mystery of the book; she was, more or less, a brand new character who never showed up in the previous two books, so i was. skeptical of going in, let alone to her pov.

but.

it was so good.

i. already gushed about it. i'm not. i'm not going to do it again.

24. Did you DNF anything? Why?

think i might be DNFing The Bookshop & the Barbarian. love the premise but i've noticed. a few issues in the text.

one i have def for sure DNF'd is Alma Katsu's The Deep. her books are horror + historical fiction. i finished The Hunger (which follows the Donner Party) but it was. very much a slog. i didn't like most of the characters, the horror was there but the reveal was lackluster to me. it got 3 stars tho bc it was very much a "this book isn't bad, just not for me" type of read? (there was an aspect i did like / even found kind of funny, but i--- hm. ig if you go in not knowing like, the names of the party members it would be a spoiler to say it, but otherwise i guess its... not a spoiler? idk??? i dunno, there was a subversion that i loved, but also i'm not super familiar with the specificities of the Donner Party so it may not have even been a subversion, if her telling was that accurate? i realize this is vague. apologies.)

The Deep is supposed to be abt the Titanic which. i love the Titanic, and i love ocean horror (it's a close second to arctic horror for me, and one day i want to find a book that scratches the same itch as The White Vault podcast does). but i realized early on that it wasn't a match for me, and i wish i had DNF'd The Hunger as well.

25. What reading goals do you have for next year?

my reading goals are the same every year---26 books. that's a book every other week! originally i used to set it to 52 but i've had too many bad reading years.

my secondary reading goal is to cut my TBR (of books i own) in half. i don't. i don't want to admit how many that is bc. just looking at the number on my kindle makes me feel bad.

#asks and answers #felinemotif #livvyreads #ask gaming

2 notes · View notes

killerandhealerqueen · 2 years

Note

If you could create a show of your own,

who will be part of the cast?

what is the show about? will it be a drama series or movie?

what would be the genre?

happy ending or sad? or bittersweet?

what would it focus on? relationships? or the genre? (cases for detective, or forensics)

which female roles would you add? any byn-type ones to piss ppl off? or Chu Ran-type ones only?

if no censorship, what would you add in there? (assuming its cn dramas)

what else would you add and/or leave out that's not asked here?

Oh...oh my sweet baby fucking jesus this is going to be fun (I'm also very picky about what I want so...*sucks in air between teeth* y'all've been warned)

1. who will be part of the cast?

Okay so the Killer and Healer cast but do what Checkmate fucking did and give them new roles. Mao Zijun and Ian are the leads obvi (and we can even have Chen Yu Cheng and Quan Pei Lun play the second couple)

2. what is the show about? will it be a drama series or movie?

I'd say drama series. You can put more stuff into dramas than you can movies and you can flesh things out a little bit more. But the series wouldn't be too overly drawn out...no ridiculous number of episodes. Between 24-40 episodes is good. I think personally that's the right amount. If you can't fit it between that many episodes, you gotta cut the unimportant shit (but still have some filler because filler is good and if the show gets too plot heavy, we need a break to let our brains breathe)

3. what would be the genre?

Genre would probably be either wuxia or detective/mystery/investigation, since that's what I'm typically drawn to. Hell, even mafia. I'd take that.

But if it's detective/mystery/investigation, we gotta do shit 👏🏻 by 👏🏻 the 👏🏻 book 👏🏻 (like, follow quality assurance guidelines and shit so that people don't fucking comment and say that's not how you do shit. Like, we will get fucking EXPERTS/I will step in so that shit is as accurate as possible. If medical dramas can do that, so can fucking detective dramas). Also, if we’re doing detective/mystery/investigation, the cases can’t be too complicated/the science can’t be too complicated because we want viewers to be interested, not overwhelmed. (But we also don’t want to have to explain everything to them like it’s a science class, you know?)

And if it's Wuxia, we need to have 1) good fucking wigs and 2) pretty fucking clothing/costumes. Oh, and believable fight scenes. I want good fucking fight scenes

4. happy ending or sad? or bittersweet?

Happy ending. Angst with a happy ending. That's my perfect ending. I don't/can't do sad endings (thanks K&H) and bittersweet endings are not particularly my cup of tea. Hopeful endings aren't bad but also not really a fan of that. No cliff hangers either, unless we're planning on making a season 2 but if I've told the story I wanted to tell, we end on a happy ending. And no bullshit endings either. Don't waste my fucking time (I’m looking at you MRIAD)

5. what would it focus on? relationships? or the genre? (cases for detective, or forensics)

I'd want the drama to focus on both. Sure just focusing on one over the other is fine but there needs to be a balance. If you focus too much on the cases over the relationships, shit gets boring real fast and all of the characters feel boring and one dimensional. And if you focus on the relationships over the cases, it's like what's the fucking point of having a detective/case drama if you're not going to focus on it

6. which female roles would you add? any byn-type ones to piss ppl off? or Chu Ran-type ones only?

Only Chu Ran-like roles, please. She needs to have purpose and not just be there to be a pretty face or to be the love interest (not saying that it's bad if she is one but I don't particularly care for those types of damsel-in-distress characters). I need sustenance from my female characters please. We'll have characters like Chu Ran, Ma Han, Jiang Ling, Zhong Yiren. Like they can still be feminine but for the love of god give them a brain. Hell, I'd even let some of them be villains because we need more female villains, thanks

7. if no censorship, what would you add in there? (assuming its cn dramas)

If no censorship...handholding, forehead touches, face cupping/neck cupping, neck caress (yes, the Jiang Yuelou neck caress has me in a fucking chokehold)...I don't particularly think there needs to be any kissing as long as the audience can see that the two leads are fucking in love with each other (and with Zijun and Ian as the leads, there's not gonna be a problem there)

8. what else would you add and/or leave out that's not asked here?

I don't think I have anything else to add...I said what I needed to be said

Thanks for asking this jiejie, this was fun!

#sass answers #jiejie edition

2 notes · View notes

crystal-iceblossomxjackfrost4evr · 1 year

Text

Tw manipulative Parental unit bullshit/my sociopathic tendencies towards said parental unit/ and small death stuff in the past/small mention of suicidal thoughts in thr past

So like i maybe go off like a villain here. Sending herw to send link to my megamind server buds. Uhm but yeaaa sorry if u didnt realize yet i can be quite crazy when it comes to real assholes like this guy. And i have no love whatsoever for child abusers /manipulators in anyway, shape, form or fashion.

Background: Only mental,emotional financial and phsyical type of abuse happened to me. Nothing rated M/E other then objectification for modeling. I have adhd and possibly many others including autism,anxiety, and recently thinking cptsd

Uh rant below

[[MORE]]

:readmore:

||So like TELL ME WHY this mans asked me TWICE NOW trying to bribe me to vome home and take care of his dumb ass

He has no working arms and i feel b

Pity im not completely heartless but i also laugh my ever fucking ass off cuz its his own karma hitting him

Its been damn near 3 years (1.5-2 since his accident) and hes STILL TRYING TO MAKE ME COME BACK

BITCH I RAN AWAY WITH 8 SUITCASES AND NOTHING ELSE WHYYYYYY

WHYYYYY WOULD I COME BACK TO UR NARCISSITIC MANIPULATIVE ASSANINE BULLSHIT

UR BEING SWEET and adoraaable and all "ohhh i love u princess. I wish u back princess. Im cryinnnng princess. Ill pay u 3600 a month! Ill pay 4000! A month!"

I COULD BE PAID 14 GODDAMN GRAND A MONTH UR A LIAR

U will absolutely become a hellish monster again once im back in ur clutcges and im honestly cackling like a sociopath

This fucker has made me go full sociopath anime villain ass tendrncies. 0ne wrong step and i couldve been goddamn loki or deadpool in the real world im not kidding!!

If i got STUCK in the pandemic with this HO one of us would e died

One of us wouldve died.

I mainly kept tellin the doctors to leave him alive cuz i felt bad. I knew hed want to. I need SOMEONE to take care of the house (im broke af) and i wanna get life insurance to get i dunno 1k, 10k, 50k, 100k SOMETHING out of him.

And hes useful in helping me with grocery and occasional actual money

Just SIGH sighh i do love him

.....Hah Ahahha

Okay i USE to love him. I just feel bad for the guy at this point. He lost his goddamn chance for me to love him when i had to cry my goddamn self to sleep every fucking night of highschool asking Whyyyy the fuck he and mama dont seem to care. Even after saying my suicidal tendencies. Even after so many instances of me being angry beyonf measure. So many instances of abusing me even after mama (gramma) died. Even to the point where i legit was feeling insane from LACK OF QLEEP CUZ HE WONT TURN DOWN THE STUPID BASS

I cant stannnnnnnnnnnd bass anymore. Any bass in a speaker in a neighbors house i cant deal with.

Ppl yelling at me i cant deal with.

I dont think i can legit EVER fully live on my own without someone to at the least help me take care of thr house, appointments, paperwork and signing up or filling out things and spiders (sever phobia tht he neverrr helped)

Im 90% sure all of my diagnosis are 10000 or more % worse if not outright caused by him besides my adhd and autism

And even after all tht.

Alll the crying. All the screaming silently. All the manipulation. And abuse until he fucked my head around sideways and inside out

HE STILL THINKS ID EVERRRRR WANT TO GO BACK

im on low contact for "wow your life sucks" ahahajaha reasons just cuz i call u a couple times a month or two and we get along on the phone (cuz i laid down the tule if he starts yelling imma hang the eff up and or he starts blaming me imma sob story him till he shuts up) does not mean i will ever EVER live with him again

And if i even EVER THINK ABT GOING BACK its because i miss my house and old life i can never have and if i ever reallly think abt going back to him. My bog brother. My roommate, my bonus mother and prolly both besties would slap me upside the head or knock me out or tie me down and ask what the ever loving fucks wrong with me!!!

Jeezus christ! "I thought ud at least think abt it!" I THOUGHT ABT it for 23 yeaaaaars before i managed to get away u crazy man

No!

And even if i did I CANT TAKE CARE OF PPL i get grossed out touchin the hair tht combs off when i comb my own head.

I get grossed out at taking care of my own body

I get grossed out or shut down at the littlest of things tht even miss or roomie go WHY ARE U HAVING TRBL. Becauseee of himmmm. He made damn sure i would have to rely on ppl for the rest of my life which sets me up poorly to everrrr take care of him. Id rven told mama someone else would have to take care of herr. Id hire and pay someone but I. CANT. DO. IT.

So boo hoo sad story feels bad man but u made sure id have these fucking problems and dig ur grave and i wanna just scream at him to just lie in it nowwwww but i still need him and need to make sure he wont eff me in selling thr house tht mama for some reason only gave me half of. And maybe bribe him to keep my stuff in storage till im stable with a job again Ugh ;*; ||

Tw manipulative Parental unit bullshit/my sociopathic tendencies towards said parental unit/ and small death stuff in the past/small mention of suicide thoughts in the past

#vent #fuck this guy #fuck abusive parents #children deserve better #im sociopathic sounding just a tad #also a lil villainous

0 notes

grippingbeskar · 2 years

Text

not a bad day

part 1 (read part 2 here)

boxing trainer!frank castle x fem!reader

word count: 6.6k

warnings: ADULT CONTENT MINORS DNI (oral f receiving, mxf sexual intercourse, pain kink, mentions of bruising/description of injury) fighting, swearing

a/n: i cannot get frank out of my head and the idea of him helping u at the gym just yeah this has very little plot and is just everyones horny okay! also might make a part two of this let me know if u want that k bye luv u stay safe.

p.s thank you for all the love on the last fic!! so glad ppl enjoyed it and it inspired me to write a couple more ideas for frank so stay tuned!

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You hate today. Of all the very bad, no good shitty days you’ve had, today takes the cake. Which is why you are currently hitting the absolute crap out of the poor punching bag in the back corner of the gym, hoping to get rid of even a small part of that bubbling anger that is threatening to explode.

First, your car broke down. Fine, things happen, your cars a piece of shit anyways. So you take the bus, only its raining and you didn’t bring an umbrella, so you run down the street in the pouring rain, chasing the only bus that would get you to work on time, only for the driver to look straight at you in the rear view mirror, arms flailing like a mad woman, and drive off, making sure to rev the wheels in the puddle next to you, flicking dirt and loose concrete all over your pale yellow dress.

Then, when you finally trudge into your office building, half an hour late and soaking wet, you see your boss. Immediately he yaps your ear off about the story your writing, and how it needs to be finished by Friday, as if you haven't been working here for years and dont know the cut off date for weekly run. You placate him, determined not to let your day be ruined at nine in the morning, when you see a team of exterminators in your office, pulling years worth of sealed documents and important files out of boxes and throwing them in the bin. It was then your boss finally decided to get to his point, saying the room was found to have an entire clan of small mice living in its walls, and they needed to gas the floor.

So, you try to save all your important work and cart it three floors down, only to find every room taken, and you end up spending your day on the floor of a supply closet, fanning out the poison stained files from your first story at New York Bulletin and definitely inhaling dangerous chemicals. It was about halfway into your day, when attempting to seperate two documents that were stuck together by liquid, that you gave up on your optimism, when you were interrupted by a phone call from your landlord telling you your apartment has flooded, and while your things were mostly okay, you would have to rent a hotel room for the next two weeks, and he ‘wouldn't be able to swing’ the cost of it as the flooding ‘wasn't technically under his jurisdiction’. You didn’t even bother going home to check your place, getting off the bus two stops early and stomping straight into the gym, seemingly the only place you can find any peace these days.

That was mainly thanks to your trainer and new found boxing partner, Frank. He was new around town, you only met him a couple of weeks ago. You dont know much about him other than he has a mean swing and is an ex marine, but he’s been helping you perfect your form for free, so you dont ask a lot of questions. Your gym is big, big enough to have an entire upper floor just for boxing and MMA training, the lower levels full of weights and machines. Usually you do a bit of cardio or strength before coming up to practise with Frank, but today you just needed to hit something, slipping in your headphones and whacking the bag as hard as you can. Your musics blaring and you dont even hear him come up behind you, and you yelp slightly when a strong hand rests on your bent elbow, stopping it mid swing. With your other hand you yank the string on your headphones, the wires falling to the ground in front of you.

“You still gotta work on those chicken arms. Elbows in.” His body is just far back enough to not press against you, and you find yourself wanting to step into him, just to feel how warm his body would feel against yours. Yes, you had a crush on him, but it was just that. A crush. You can handle yourself. His hand slides up to your bicep and presses lightly, your arm coming down in the correct form. His fingers are rough and calloused, but somehow feel smooth against your skin, trailing a light line of heat where they touched. Okay, maybe you can’t handle yourself.

Frank, on the other hand, hasn’t been in control for weeks. Ever since that first day, him wandering in to the first gym he’d seen, his apartment being too small for him to get a proper workout in, he saw you beating the shit out of this very punching bag, and he doesn’t remember a time he saw anything sexier. You had pretty poor form, but the power was there, and it was practically calling his name. He didn’t even pick up a weight, shooting straight up the stairs and standing behind the bag you were hitting, absorbing your punch so the bag didn’t move. It came off as sweet, maybe even thoughtful, but all Frank was thinking was how fucking hot it would be for you to actually hit him, and every punch you threw at the bag made his pants a little tighter.

He was on to you then, striking up a conversation about how to get more power behind yourself, and eventually, after learning your schedule by coming to the gym every day around the same time, it became habit. If he didn’t seek you out, you started to come to him, seeing you strut up behind him in the mirror as he lifted weights or hold down on his ankles as he was doing pull ups. His training used to be business only, it was almost in his job description to be fit, but you made it fun, and he found himself looking forward to every session.

“Im not exactly in the mood for a tutoring session, Castle.” You bit back, taking a couple more swings, but taking his advice and keeping your elbows in.

“But you felt the difference in those ones, didn’t you?” He comes around to face you, leaning on the wall in the corner behind the bag. You huff and continue hitting, the wraps on your knuckles beginning to come loose. “Bad day?”

“You dont know the half of it.” He just nods and his head tilts slightly, watching the way your abs tense with every punch, the small gap of skin between your sports bra and high waisted tights like a pinch of heaven to him. Your body is thrown behind every swing, and he smiles a little, unable to help how proud of your improvement he is, knowing you take on what he teaches. He can see the difference in just a couple weeks, the bag no longer a suitable opponent for your skill level.

“Wanna take it out on me?” Frank says lowly from behind the bag, and you can’t see his face when he says it, the blurred black of the swinging bag blocking him. You stop and search for his gaze, finding it on you as you stop the bag in the air and set it straight.

“What?” He nods his head, motioning behind you.

“In the ring.” Holy shit. You need to calm down. Your mind went a thousand different places, but for some reason the giant roped off ring in the room behind you wasn’t one of them. You’ve only been in there a couple times, usually its closed off for the pros to train in, or someone has already claimed it, the locks only accessible from the inside once you enter. If its unlocked, however, anyone can claim it until the next hour, and looking up, the clock just ticked over to eight.

“Yeah. Okay.” Your anger has diminished only slightly at the sight of Franks sweaty abdomen, the image certainly softening you as he leads you into the room, flicking on the lights and locking the door behind you. “I dont even think Ive been in here before. Have you?”

“Couple a’ times. Gotta show the boys how its done, right?” You roll your eyes and he laughs, the sound echoing around the cement room.

“This isn't fair. You know I dont box.” You swing your body under the ropes and when you straighten, Frank is considerably closer than you thought he would be. He reaches out a hand and takes your own in his, tightening the wraps around them. Its always stronger when he does them for you.

“Dont worry, sweetheart. I’ll go easy on you.” That fucking name. He’s called you that a couple of times, when he’s teasing you, but every time your cheeks flush and you have to avoid his gaze. Even through your pent up anger from today, the name slips through and nestles straight in your stomach, waking dormant butterflies and sending them crazy. You just shake your head and step back, remembering the stance he taught you. Legs shoulder width apart, right foot back, heel off the ground slightly. You bend your knees a little and take a few steps in either direction, testing your stability and giving yourself time to collect your scattered brain, looking up at him.

“Good. Now seriously, Im not going to hit you.” You open your mouth to say something, but he raises one finger, and you huff before letting him continue. “Ill tap you if your hands drop, like this.” He puts his fists up, and with the left hand that hangs in front of his face, he opens it and pushes your head in the opposite direction. Its not hard, barely a percent of his strength. “That okay?”

“Its annoying. But fine.” It was annoying, and you make a point to keep your hands up as he explains so he doesn't do it again. “Should I do the same?” You dont want to hit him, although you would be surprised if you were even able to land a punch, let alone do any real damage, but you still dont want to try. He just smiles at you from behind his fists.

“You hit me as hard as you can.” Your eyes go wide and you begin to protest.

“Frank you-”

“Trust me. I can take it.”

“But I-”

“I can take it. Hit me.” He grits out, and he almost sounds gravelly. You shrug your shoulders and he nods, both of you moving to the right and you punch first, aiming a hit on his ribcage. He blocks it easily, and you go to adjust, but his hand reaches up and pushes your face in the opposite direction, making you stumble. You look up at him, deadpanning.

“Frank.”

“You hit like shit, and you move too slow. C’mon.” Shaking it off you fix yourself in front of him again, moving to the left this time. The anger you felt at your shitty day simmers low in your gut, at least thats what you think it is, and you take a step into him and land a punch in the middle of his chest. He doesn't move, doesn't flinch, your pretty sure he wasn’t breathing. “What was that?”

“A punch?” You screw your eyebrows together and stand up straight, dropping your hands.

“No it wasn’t. It was shit; again.” He hasn’t dropped his stance and you let out a sigh. Your not going to try and hit him like that, no matter how angry at the world you are, you would never take that out on him.

“Frank, even if your being all macho about this, Im not going to try and hit you. I’ll hurt you.” Your hand goes to your hip.

“You could never hurt me.” He says, his voice not faltering for a second. You dont know why you interpret it any other way than a teasing play on your ability to box, but it makes your heart stutter in your chest. He obviously wants this, and as nervous as it makes you, you kind of want to see if you can land an actual hit on this guy, at the very least to get your hands on his sculpted chest one way or the other. “Hit. Me.”

“Okay. You have to tell me if I hurt you though, okay?” You get back into position, looking down at your feet to make sure you have your width right.

“You suggestin’ we need a safe word, sweetheart?” Your jaw drops open slightly and a scoff comes out. He was going to send you into cardiac arrest.

“Lets fight then, big guy.” You both move to the right again, and Frank moves fast, getting around behind you, leaving you a little off guard as you turn. His hand comes up and pushes your face. You huff.

“Focus.” Blowing a hair out of your face, you are already sweating, your previous workout coming at you like a ton of bricks. He moves again and you see your chance, getting low and landing a strong punch into his abdomen, using your body to gain power this time. You dont go full out, but you land it with enough strength you hear a little wind come out of him. Satisfied, you come straight back up, keeping your hands in front of you. “Good. Again.”

You step into him and uppercut into his stomach, stepping back quickly. You look down for a split second to adjust your feet but his hand is already there, shoving you and you realise you dropped your hands. Its pissing you off faster than it should, and if you just kept your damn hands up you wouldn't have to worry, more angry at yourself than him.

“Stop that.” You growl at him and move to the left.

“Stop lettin’ me.” Asshole.

Frank watches in awe from behind his fists at that little spark that comes across your gaze, and he knows he’s got you. It was a little game at first, but now he’s had a taste of that anger, a taste of that sweet pain that comes with the force of you against him, and he knows he sick for craving more. You dont hesitate this time as you ram your fist into his ribs, the hardest you’ve hit him yet. It knocks some of the wind out of him, and he sucks in a breath. Damn, that was fucking hard. Almost as hard at the erection he’s currently sporting, thanking all the gods listening that he decided to wear track pants over his gym shorts, at least they cover up his dignity a little. He wants all of your anger, all that rage you buried into the bag outside the ring, so as soon as he sees your hands drop just a little, he shoves your face again, a little harder.

“Frank! My fucking hands were up.” You grumble at him, planning your next move. You were pissed off now, and if Frank wanted to fuck with you, you were going to fuck with him right back.

“If they were up I wouldn’t have got you. Again.” His voice sounds dry and low, and if you weren't so riled up you would think it was sexy. No, you do think its sexy, but you cant think about it right now. You step left and hit him again, in the same spot in his ribs. His hand comes up to the left of your face and you block, only to feel him push you on the right.

You say nothing, and instead physically wind up and let your right fist crash into the same spot for a third time. You put all your weight behind it, getting low and swivelling your body, feeling every muscle tense as you collied with his ribcage. He groans and his fists drop, leaning back into the ropes you now realise you backed him into.

Immediately you regret it. You knew you shouldn't have even gotten in the ring if your head wasn’t on straight, but Frank is so easy to listen to you, and he looked so damn good. Instantly you dont feel angry anymore, the relief replaced by guilt as you look at him, one hand holding his rib and the other leaning on the rope, head hung low.

You move to him, cupping his face in your hands and bringing his gaze to you. Your face is screwed up with worry and his eyes are almost glazed over.

“Frank! Jesus, are you okay? Im so sorry I dont even know-”

“That was fuckin’ perfect. Perfect.” He smiles up at you like some kind of sadist and the hand holding his rib comes to your hip, pulling you closer so that you can feel the sweat of his abdomen against the small part of skin between your bra and tights.

“Are you okay?” You whisper. You dont know why you do, but somehow the proximity you both share makes you feel the need to be quiet, any noise may set this moment alight, and you dont want to be anywhere but pressed against Franks bare chest, panting each others air.

“Never better.” He steps into you, forcing you to take a step back. Then two. You can only focus on the sound of his slightly strained breath in your ear and your hands leave his face, coming to rest on his chest as you reach the centre of the ring. “Again.” You step back and you dont miss the twang of disappointment when his hand comes off your hip.

“No. Im not hitting you again.”

“What makes you think you can, huh? Think I wasn’t going easy on ya?” You know he’s baiting you, and you cant figure out why. Maybe he just wants to piss you off, or maybe he thinks you fight better when your angry, but either way its working and you put your hands up. “Theres my girl.” His slight accent and the way his smile curls up the side of his face reminds you that now you dont feel angry, you start to feel... other things. You step back again, distancing yourself.

You swing a hook with your left hand and he moves just out of reach. You hear him laugh a little, so you swing again, at his head this time. You connect with the arm that comes up to block, and you can feel the strength of his arm under your knuckles.

“So close.” He says as you shuffle forward, and you have to grind your teeth to keep composure. You dont know what it is about him, but everything he does right now is making the ball of tension in your stomach coil tighter and tighter. He’s always been able to elicit some kind of reaction from you, but its always been in a public place, other eyes on you preventing you from thinking too much about the way he looks at you, his eyes analysing your every move as you practise a new block. Or how hard and perfect his body feels against you as he teaches you a new take down, warm skin burning you in his hold. You put all of your brain power into your next moves, trying to think of literally anything else as he easily evades you.

Frank doesn’t know why he does it, and it takes all of his self control to move out of the way of your hits, his mind telling him to just let you hit him every time so he could feel you that close again. Backed up against the ropes, your hands on his face, when he finally wrapped his hand around the hip that had been the object of his fucking imagination for weeks. He’s going insane, that must be the reason he can’t form a coherent thought as you step to him, matching every move he makes. Your good, he knows that because he taught you, and every time you miss he can tell you only get more aggressive, still in control but you come at him with more fire, and the anticipation of when you inevitably collied with him is almost better than the actual hit. Frank is distracted by you, all of you moving and flexing in front of him, attention devoted to him, that when you connect a right jab to his chest, it knocks him back.

This time you dont check on him, you just come again, landing a left hook to his side. He doesn’t have time to recover and you hit him again, another right jab. He’s backed into a corner and you punch again, but his right arm grabs your wrist, yanking you against him. You can feel his heartbeat in your own chest, and he’s breathing hard, nearly as wiped out as you.

“That all you got?” he purrs in your ear, and he swears he can see the final straw break. You are faster than he thought, and using the hold he has on your wrist you swing him over your shoulder. Using his own strength against him, just like he taught you, you flip him over and he lands on his back, hitting the matt with a hard whack.

Your on him simultaneously, both legs straddling either side of his ribcage, and your forearm comes down on his chest, using all your strength to hold him down. The only sounds that fill the empty room is the quiet ticking of the clock and Frank underneath you, wheezing a little under your body.

“You gonna tap out, Castle?” Hell yeah you are cocky, the giant mass of man underneath you making you feel a lot more accomplished than you thought. You don’t care that he was probably letting you throw him down, you still did it without any help, only ever completing the move before when Frank coached you through it. He just looks up at you and smiles. “What?”

“I taught you that.” He says, and you take your forearm off him and sit back on his abs, laughing. When you sit back both of his hands come up and rest on your thighs. You stop laughing and look down at him, your ponytail falling to the side of your face.

Frank thinks you look like some kind of angel. Your hair is all frayed and pulled out in places and it frames your face so perfect, and theres a light above your head that sits directly above you, shining down and lighting you up, every bead of sweat glistening on your body, and his eyes catch on one that slides down the valley of your chest, disappearing under the tight confines of your bra. He tightens the grip on your thighs and he feels you shift on top of him, and he nearly groans at the sensation.

“Why were you so angry today?” Frank breaks the silence under you, and yo dont know why you haven’t gotten up yet, but his hands wrap around your thighs, almost taking up the entire space of them.

“Just a really bad day. My boss is a dick and my office building has rats. Oh! My car broke down and I was late, too. And it was raining. ” You could feel the tension falling from your shoulders as you sat on top of Frank and told him about your day, somehow never feeling more natural. “Dont even get me started on my apartment. Probably have nothing left.”

“You got robbed?” Frank tenses under you and you shake your head and put a hand on his chest.

“No. Flooded, though. Cant stay there for two weeks. I came straight here.” You shake your head thinking about how ridiculous your situation is.

“No wonder you hit me so hard.” He laughs under you and you resist the urge to swat him.

“Shut up. You asked for it.”

“Yeah, I did.” His hand slides up your thigh just an inch and the muscles under them tense at his touch. You swallow hard. You cant read his expression, but he just stares at you as he moves his hands another inch higher. “You alright?” He asks, not knowing if he’s talking about your apartment or his wandering hands, but it doesn’t matter because the answer is a desperate yes that you somehow manage to squeak out. He smiles again, that half smirk thing he does when you finally figure out whatever he is teaching you, and your palms start to get sweaty.

“M’ fine.” The ticking of the clock reminds you that you still have 20 minutes of uninterrupted time alone with him, and it suddenly doesn’t feel long enough.

“You dont look fine.”

“I dont?” He shakes his head and his fingers splay across you, squeezing lightly. It feels good on your tight muscles and you drop the last of your weight on top on him, relaxing.

“You seem strung out. Need to relax.” He’s no longer looking at you, murmuring his words under his breath and his eyes roam your body, taking in every minuscule detail that rests on top of him.

“I thought thats why we were fighting?” Your voice is small, and his fingers tighten and relax on your thigh, massaging.

“We were fighting cause you were damn pissed. You still feelin’ angry?” You shake your head, unable to speak. “Good. Just need ya to relax for me now, okay?” Now you nod.

Frank is straining to control himself, your obedient nods and the way you rest against him, full body weight sinking into him has his cock tenting his pants. He’s damn happy you are facing him right now or you would see just how much you effect him, because he wants this to be about you. As much as he needs you, he can wait a little longer if it means he gets to see you come apart while he watches. Besides, this will be indulging him just as much as you.

He cant count how many times he’s dreamed of this, of you using him to get your anger out, get rid of all your frustrations. Every day in the gym, no matter if your high off a great day at work or dead tired, you use him as your outlet, and he will take anything and everything you give him, but here, with you on top of him, he’d be lying if he said he hasn’t imagined how you would use him like this. He wanted to drown in you, wanted you to take all that natural dominance you exude in training and suffocate him with it, letting you use him in an entirely new way. The thought of tasting you makes his mouth water, and his hands travel to your hips, squeezing gently.

You were out of breath and dizzy, and the way he held you made you feel things you haven’t felt in years. The past few weeks have been a silent torture, having his body so close but somehow not close enough. His fingers lightly brush the sliver of skin above your tights and slip just below the hem, and you sigh.

“These expensive?” He plays with the hem and you shake your head, the tights being one of the few spare pairs you keep in your locker here for when you can’t be bothered to go home and change first. “Good.” The rip of fabric makes you flinch slightly as he tears the tights off your body, cool air kissing your bare skin, the tattered remains falling to the sides. You are left sitting above him, only in your sports bra and white underwear, thankful you wore something sort of cute today. Your jaw hangs open at his raw strength and it only swirls that tight ball of need in your lower stomach tighter, and the breeze coming from one of the windows reminds you how wet you are and you shiver.

“Frank, w-what are... Jesus. What are you doing?” You cant focus and his hands slide along your skin, coming up and over your hips, fingertips stopping just under your bra and sliding back down, sparks flying everywhere.

“Gonna help you relax. That okay?”

“Y-yes. Yes.” You are nodding frantically and his hands stop on your hips, and pull you forward, your legs shuffling up his body. You pick up on what he’s doing as he stops you just under his chin, the only thing stopping him from touching you the weight you support in your legs.

“Good girl. Gonna reward you for being so good.” One hand hooks underneath your underwear, and he trails a light line over your centre, making you shudder his name. “You this fuckin’ wet for me already?” He trails is hand over your clit again, and takes the same finger and slides it inside you once, curling and hitting that exact right spot. You moan and he slips out of you, bringing the finger coated with your taste and wrapping his mouth over it, and his eyes flutter closed.

Frank nearly comes in his pants at the taste of you. You are sweet and perfect, more incredible than he could have ever imagined. Your face when he slid into you is etched into his brain forever, and there will never be a day that it doesn’t make him rock fucking hard. The way you react to him makes him think you’ve wanted this just as long as he has, and he doesn’t waste any more time indulging either of your fantasies. He rips your underwear off too, shoving the frayed fabric into the pocket of his track pants. He kisses you once, right where you need him to, both strong hands coming to your bare ass, forcing you down on him. You strain only slightly, not wanting to put your whole weight on him, and he growls under neath you.

“Thought you were gonna be good for me; let me help you.” He kisses your inner thigh and looks up at you.

“I am! But I-”

“Sit.” He’s still staring at you, peppering soft kisses up and down where ever he can reach on your thighs. You trust him, and given what you were just doing, you know he would tell you if there was something he couldn’t handle.

“Okay, just throw me off or something if you need to, please okay?” Your eyes aren’t focusing on anything but him, and you see him smirk and roll his eyes.

“Yeah. Sure. Now c’mere. Lemme give you what you need.” You shuffle a little more and let your legs relax, and he dives into you. One hand remains on your hip while the other slides inside you, two fingers gently caressing that growing need in your stomach. His tongue works you expertly, and your back arches as both your hands come down to grab his hair, pulling and twisting in pleasure.

“Oh fuck! Frankfrankfrankplease!” You dont know what your asking for, just that he is the only one that can give it to you, your hips grinding against his face, feeling his nose lightly brush your clit with each movement.

“That’s is baby. Fuckin’ take it.” He says the words into you and you can feel the heat of his breath on your core. You bite your lip and the hand not in his hair finds the one of his on your hips, grabbing it desperately. He lets go of you and your fingers intertwine, you leaning forward over him unable to hold up your bodyweight. His hand doesn't leave yours and you hold onto him tightly, your hips still moving against his face.

Frank is surrounded by you. Your thighs squeeze his head and keep him perfectly in place between you, and the way you lean over him slightly means he has the perfect view of your face as he fucks you with his tongue and fingers. You move against him without him having to tell you, your natural desires taking over the worry of hurting him. He loves to watch you lose control, and the sweet sounds mixed with his name that leave your mouth make him moan against you.

“God, you taste so fuckin’ sweet. You like usin’ me like this, huh sweetheart?” You nod, or you think you do, but the hand that was inside you comes around the back and grips your ass, tight. “Need to hear it.” He groans into you as his tongue replaces his fingers.

“You - Yes, Frank. Fuck, it feels so good.” You breath and your whole body feels like its on fire, pleasure building in every part of you. You aren’t going to last much longer, his mouth working furiously on you as his hand comes back to join it.

“Good girl. Good fuckin’ girl.” His praise is all you want, all you’ll ever need, and you move your hips, pull his hair, try to figure out whatever it is that he wants. “You think you can come for me?” Your eyes are squeezed shut and you nod, all he needs to do is ask you to do it and you will. He has you wrapped around his fingers, literally.

Frank never wants this to end, but somehow he retains the slightest bit of composure to remember the time limit on the gym room only gives him another couple of minutes in paradise. He could spend an eternity between your legs, and he would when he got you home, but right now he needed you to come just as bad as you did. He kept fucking you with his fingers, and when ever he spoke his thumb replaced his mouth, knowing it would ultimately be his words that pushed you over. He could tell you loved his mouth, both on you and speaking all your dirty thoughts back to you, and he loved that it was him and only him you responded to like that.

“Alright baby, I need you to come for me, okay?” You were a whimpering mess above him, hips moving frantically and legs shaking. Your muscles were like jelly and he could feel you tighten around him. You babble out a few words and he thinks he hears his name in between them, and he smiles up at you as your eyes slowly open.

“I know your s’close. Can feel it. Relax for me, okay?” You choke out a moan and pull his hair, tighter than you had before, and he muffles his moan by putting his mouth back on you, wanting to taste you when you finish.

“Fucking hell! Frank!” You scream his name and your body jerks on top of him as you finally find your orgasm, Franks fingers repeatedly and brutally fucking you through it. His mouth takes in everything you give it, slurping up any evidence of your pleasure, making the most vulgar sounds that only make you cum harder. Your entire head feels fuzzy and your lungs have no air, Franks hands leaving you only to slide into his own mouth, cleaning them off before rubbing soothing circles on your lower back.

Your hands are still intertwined on your other side and you sit back, your back leaning against his two strong legs that have bent up to create a rest. He sits up, chasing you and kisses your neck lightly.

“You feelin’ better, baby?” You can’t speak, mind still numb, but you nod and he presses a soft kiss to your lips, making your eyes shoot open.

“That was our first kiss.” You stutter, and he just kisses you again, deeper this time.

He whispers in your ear, and you giggle in his hold. “We gotta get out of here, though.” You rest your forehead against his.

“Huh?”

“Thirty seconds and the doors gonna open.” You whip your head around and see the clock reading eight fifty nine. Shit!

“Frank. My tights.” You didn’t even think of it, but you look down at how very naked you were from the waist down, and he picks you up, standing with you in his arms, only setting you down when he’s sure you have found your own footing. He slides down his track pants. You cant help but stare and watch, and you see the obvious outline of his very hard erection, him attempting to tuck it into the waist band on his now exposed gym shorts.

“Put these on. We can pick up your clothes on the way to mine.” In shock, you take the track pants and slide them on, having to use the hair tie that was holding your hair up to tie the side of them so they dont fall off your waist. Frank stuffs the remains of your tights into his gym bag and comes back to you, planting a kiss on your lips as the doors open, him pulling away just in time to be missed by the entering crowd.

“Hey Castle! You guys finished up in here? Need to get in some practise before next weekend.” You knew the voice talking, you recognised him as one of the faces on the poster out the front, advertising for the gyms next fight night.

“Yeah, we’re good. Just practising.” He looks back at you and smiles, swinging his body under the rope and you realise you haven’t moved, quickly following him.

“Ah, you’re leaving? Could really use a sparring partner.” The guy says, and your eyes widen. Frank trains with this guy? A whole new wave of desire flushes your cheeks and you look up at him, a slight fear that he would take him up on the offer.

“Yeah, gotta get my girl home.” He pulls you closer to him, swinging an arm around you as you head towards the door, uttering a quick goodbye to the waving fighter you leave behind. You hear the door click lock behind you and you descend the stairs, Frank leading you towards his car.

“Your girl?” You can’t help it, the way your heart nearly jumped out of your mouth when he said it. Did he think of you like that?

“Yeah. My girl. That okay?”

“Fine with me.” A giant grin betrays your attempt to stay casual and he opens the door for you, laughing. Anticipation begins to build as soon as he closes the door, unsure of what the next few hours will hold. He opens the drivers side door and starts the car, punching in your address and the car knows it already from the multiple times he’s driven you home.

“You think you’ll have enough clothes for two weeks or do we gotta get some?” Franks question confuses you for a moment, and then you nearly choke on your inhale in realisation.

“Oh, you so dont have to let me stay with you. Seriously, I’ll just get a hotel.”

“C’mon, cant have my girl staying in a hotel.” That same goofy grin returns to your face, and his hand comes to rest on your inner thigh. “Besides, we got a lot of work to do, and I dont wanna be disturbed this time.” You shiver, your imagination running wild.

Sitiing back in the seat with Franks hand running up and down your leg, you cant believe you thought anything negative about today, and sliding your hands in the pockets of Franks track pants, feeling the remains of your torn underwear, you think you’ll mark this as one of your best days yet.

#frank castle #frank castle x y/n #frank castle x you #frank castle x reader #frank x you #the punisher x y/n #the punisher x reader #the punisher x you #the punisher x oc #the punisher #punisher x you #punisher x reader #punisher x y/n #punisher fanfiction #marvel tv #marvel

976 notes · View notes

crispyimagines17 · 3 years

Photo

“Maria Bonita” - [ Timothée Chalamet | One Shot ]

Summary: We invite you to take a glimpse to the Chalamet’s house. A teenage parents who would do anything to protect, love and take care of their little one despite all the eyes of society.

Written by: Crispy Imagines.

Soundtrack: main theme

Notes: A promise is a promise ppl, after two years of waiting Maria Bonita is finally here. First of all I want to thank every single person who was asking for this masterpiece, I hope i don’t let you down. Feedback is always welcome and nothing, enjoy it cause y’all deserve it. Also, we attach several audios to make you feel part of the story, so contrast them just as a background sound.

Tags: @miss2001babe ; @lg-vangogh ; @expectodonuts ;

[1]

The creaking of the bed came to a halt as your two-year-old Maddox weigh crashes down the mattress; his tiny feet pressed on daddy’s back, sending a burst of chills down Timothée’s spine. Maddox hands traveled to mommy’s cheeks, pitching or stretching them as he let out a chuckle.

“Mommy?” he whines, kissing your cheeks softly “Mommy” he repeats, nuzzling his face on yours.

“What’s up champ?” Timothée speaks, his groggy voice echoing the room as he stretches his body.

“Daddy!” the little one leaves you and jumps all the way to Timothée.

“Good morning.”

“morning.” Maddox repeats.

You opened your eyes, and the first picture your eyes capture was little Maddox hugging tightly his daddy with a Woody on his right hand. When he saw you, you could see his eyes glowing and leaving daddy’s side just so he can be with you. Immediately you open your arms, letting his tiny weigh crash on yours as he looks at you with pure happiness.

“Hi mommy”

“Hi momma.” You hear Timothée’s voice as you rolled your eyes. He slowly approaches to you two, snugging and earning laughs from both of you. “How’s my family?”

“We’re fine. You need to get Maddox a shower bef-…”

“Noo…” the little kid as soon as he heard shower leaves the bed in such a hurry, leaving his favorite toy in bed. Both of you laughed.

“I’ll make some breakfast and I want you ready by the time I’ll call you.”

“Yes momma.” Timothée gets up from bed and before leaving the room he approaches to give you a tiny peck, then a kiss and later a passionate kiss; grabbing towels from the drawer.

“Come here little man, before I’ll catch you.” You could hear Maddox giggles all over the apartment and timmy’s footsteps running around.

…

“Come on bub, we’re late for school. Just put some damn clothes.” Timothée’s voice came out as desperation as Maddox was running in circles butt naked. He tried everything, baby shark song, let Woody shower with him and even doing some funny voices, but none of them work. He sighs, face palming as he listens to the little one singing “You’ve got a friend in me”.

“Love.” He speaks. “Can you help me with Maddox?”

“Sure, just watch the scramble eggs.” He sighs in relief, and lifting himself from the wet floor walking carefully. When he clashes glazes with his son, he mumbles him

“You’re going to get in big trouble, mommy is coming.” Maddox smile fades and the fear got in his eyes, so he quickly runs to his bedroom bringing the first piece of clothing he found.

…

“Dammit.” You whispered as you tried to adjust the child seat. Timothée was right behind you, holding Maddox; both of them watching you getting pissed.

“Let me try, love. Here, hold Maddox.” You sigh, extending your arms as little Maddox lunges towards you. You lay your head against his, as you rock yourself back and forth. “we’re ready.”

Today was going to be a long day due to your shift, leaving early sounds nice, but also means going to the grocery store, doing laundry, cleaning the house, teaching Maddox, do some paperwork. Although timothée helps you in every way he can there’s still more job to do, like you’re working nonstop all the year. As you drive towards Maddox daycare Timothées hands were on your thing, resting peacefully as he slowly reads some scripts.

“Shit” he mumbles, you looked at him with an arched eyebrow. He realizes his mistake and quickly covers his mouth and watches Maddox, who’s been gazing at the window without a clue of what happened. Timothée let out a sigh as he slowly began to read his duties when the little one laugh.

“Shet” Maddox said giggling as he smashes his toys. Both of you close your eyes in regret, he will now say the word to nonstop and the ladies from the daycare will complain, like always.

“Oh no.” you let out “Maddox, honey.”

“Wa mommy?”

“Remember when we said that kids shouldn’t say big words?” he nods. “You need to stop saying that, it’s rude and people will not like it.”

“Shet.” He repeats giggling.

“Love, say something to your child” you said looking at Timothée.

“Me? Why?”

“Cause you said the big word.” You insist.

“Why I’m always the bad guy…” he whispers as he take a breath. “Bub, what do we talk…”

“shet shet shet shet!” Maddox said out loud causing both parents to sigh.

“Well, we tried” Timothee said as you parked at the daycare.

[2]

Picking up Maddox from daycare was the heavy stuff of the day, receiving each and every day complaints from the teachers about his hyperactivity, molesting other kids or yelling in story time. Today was not the exception, despite the look of irritation from the teacher you were calm and hugging a tired Maddox rocking back and forth.

“Maddox is… a special kid. His behavior today concerned the other teachers due to the fact that the child said the word shit many times. That cause the other kids to follow him and my job here is to ask you, Is everything okay with your… boyfriend and you?” you arched your eyebrows surprised.

“Y-yeah, we’re fine, Maddox is like a sponge absorbs everything, including the bad stuff.” You chuckle nervously. She shakes her head.

“Kids at your age don’t know how to raise a child, it surprises me that you’re still together and with Maddox temper…” you were in shocked, does she tell you that? And in front of your kid? Oh, you’re so mad you’ve couldn’t hold your tongue.

“Believe me that my kid is surrounded by love and emotional stability lady, you have no right to judge me or my husband. We’ve been swallowing some bullshit since I was pregnant, but I will not tolerate to insult me in front of my kid. So, fuck yourself and your stupid business.” You raised your middle finger and walk towards the exit without looking back.

After you put Maddox in his chair, he looked at you in a lovely way, touching both of your cheeks and smiling.

“Love you mommy.” Your eyes watered as you kiss him on his forehead.

“Love you too.”

…

Going to the grocery store was Maddox favorite thing; the thrill of daddy pushing the car so fast; when mommy buys his favorite cereal and the music that always calms him. So when you said your next destination a chorus of happiness filled the entire car.

“Okay, we’re supposed to get the basic. Love, get a car and I’ll see you on the aisle 2.” You grab Maddox hand but he didn’t walk. “What happened?”

“Daddy.” He points with his little finger towards Timothée direction.

“Daddy will come soon. Come on, let’s go.” But Maddox stayed, making his little body heavier so you couldn’t walk.

“Daddy.” He repeats.

“Love he will come back, let’s go.” You tried once more, but he let himself fall on the floor, starting a tantrum that led all the eyes of the store on you two. You smiled awkwardly picking up Maddox as you tried your best to avoid the judge of the people’s eyes, walking down the first hall as you let him down with tearful eyes.

“Maddox, honey, you need to listen to me.” You cup his cheeks in an attempt to catch his attention. After he saw you his concern became evident.

“wa hapen?”

“Here you are, I thought you said aisle 2.” After he saw your eyes, his smile faded and he kneels with you two. “What’s wrong, baby?” you shake your head.

“Nothing, I just-“ you immediately tried to recover yourself and got up wiping your eyes. “We need to hurry up, we still have to make dinner.” You grab the car. “Love, please take Maddox with you.”

And so were you grabbing everything you need and both of your boys were trying hard to cheer you up by singing or listening to Timothee saying stuff like “Mom looks pretty today, isn’t she?” “We’ll make dinner so you can take a rest”

You were in line ready to pay and behind you there was a nice lady pampering Maddox. Timothee smile to her.

“Taking care of the little brother, huh.” She said waving at him. “what a handsome man.” You both look at each other without saying anything. It was normal that many people believed one of you was babysitting a younger sibling or a cousin so you didn’t bother to correct the lady.

“Mommy sleep.” Maddox said, looking at you with tired eyes. Your eyes immediately watch the lady who was quite skeptical. “Mommy.”

“Oh” she only said. Your eyes travel to her, you’ve could see her disappointment on her face, it was something you’ve got used to it. You tried to recover yourself, this was too much for one day and it hasn’t ended yet.

“Love, can you pay? I’ll have to take some air.” Timothee’s eyes were concerned.

“Sure love, here, take the keys. Maddox will stay with me.” You grab the keys and exit the store as soon as you can, fighting hard to keep the tears from falling.

When you get into your car you let yourself go, tears streaming down your face and allowing yourself to feel this way.

The migraine you’ve been dealing with was in its best moment, due to Maddox screams and the tv in all the volume it has. Timothee was in the bedroom with a script; he left you with all the toys, crayons and food on the floor. You sigh, frustrated and just when you were calming yourself you saw Maddox torn one of Timothee’s scripts and laughing. Timothee was behind him with a red face, taking him the pieces of paper to look directly at you.

“Seriously? Are you not watching this kid?” after those words your blood began to boil, throwing him the nearest object.

“Are you fucking serious? I fucking make dinner because you “innocently” forgot, I’m doing laundry so you can go to your fucking auditions clean; I’m washing dishes cause you’re so busy reading your stupid scripts and you can’t watch Maddox. And you’re implicating that it’s my fault that I don’t watch our kid? Unbelievable.” You said furious. “I don’t fucking have a break, I work my 8hr shift, pick up Maddox; do all the chores; helping Maddox with his homework; shower him, giving him dinner; make us dinner; shower myself if I have time; and checking some paperwork. You’re… You’re just auditioning, promising that one day we’ll be in a mansion and lived happily ever after, you do not do anything unless I asked you for.” He was shocked, avoiding all eye contact with you.

“I-I don’t know what to say.” You sigh, leaving the kitchen, taking one of your coats and leaving the apartment.

…

You could hear Timothee’s footsteps behind you, but you just keep on walking, breathing deeply so you can’t say something you regret.

“Wait, love.” He tried to grab you softly by the arm.

“So now I’m your love, huh?” you rolled your eyes, stopping yourself to look him in the eye.

“You’ve always been my love. Sorry for behaving like an asshole. You were right, I’m a completely shitty father. I leave you with all the heavy duty while I focus on a stupid dream.” You could see the sadness of his face, eyes beginning to water. Immediately you cupped his cheeks and touched your forehead with his, staying in silence for a couple of seconds.

“You know I’m the biggest supporter of your dream.” You said in a whisper. “But you have to be a responsible father and husband. We are a team; we’re supposed to help each other in every way we can. I’m not asking to give up on what you are passionate about.” you sweetly pressed your lips against his.

“I love you.” He said, with eyes pure of love that your stomach curled up.

“I love you too, handsome.” You stayed hug for a while, while you feel like there was something missing. It was Maddox!

“Oh my god… where’s the kid?” you lift the head to catch his eyes.

“I left it with Maddie, I think we should pick him up before she calls us.” You nod.

An so where you, walking back home holding hands having the warm sensation that everything from now on will be just fine.

[Soundrack] [3]

The sound of nature calms both of your boys, you suggest to travel to the nearest park to set up some wood fire. And now you are carrying Maddox tired body, the little one is closing his eyes so often, and it will not take too long for him to sleep; since he’s got his thump already in his mouth. Timothée was watching the stars, with a sad tone on his face he said:

“Sometimes I forget that I’m a dad. When they invite at some restaurant for brief seconds I forget that I’m someone’s dad, that I change diapers or fed him. And that feels weird, not good weird, like something is missing. I’ll never going to regret being a father at my age, I will have a long way to watch him grow and become anything he wants; and somehow that makes me happy.”

“I don’t regret either. I feel that this kid connects us in beautiful ways; we are his mentors to teach him the good and bad. I think we’re more than ready to take the challenge.”

“I love you. And I’m so happy I chose you to be the mother of my child, even if that means by accident.” You couldn´t help but laugh.

“I love you too. Come on, let’s go to our house.”

“At least let us heard one more song before we go.” Timothee got up shaking the dirt from his pants, he went to the car and shuffle a couple of songs before he found out the one. “This one will work. Let me get Maddox on the car.”

After he let the baby he slowly approaches to you, touching his forehead with yours, rocking back and forth as Maria Bonita was playing on the back.

“Even if this song is made for a Maria. In this park, at midnight with the stars and moon as witnesses you’re my Maria Bonita. The one I will always be in love, beyond my body and soul. I’m all yours baby. Just say the word and we will go to the nearest chapel.” You smile.

“Yes.” You whispered on his lips

“Promised me that you don’t lie just because you feel idolized.” You kissed him. “I love you Mrs. Chalamet. Let the world know I Love this woman.” You shake your head, chuckling, the song ended and to seal the promise he kissed you passionately taking from his coat a jewelry box; knealing.

“Will you marry me?”

#Timothee Chalamet #timothee chalamet imagine #timothée chalamet #timothée chamalet #timothée chalamet imagine #timmy tim #timmy chalamet #timmy x reader #timmy blurbs #armie x timmy #Call Me By Your Name #cmbyn #CMBYN MOVIE #ladybird #Beautiful Boy

278 notes · View notes

teotalksaboutstuff · 2 years

Text

My Opinions on Kai’s Fondness Events

Events will be shown in the order I saw them. Major spoilers below the cut.

Nao 1

This event was really sweet! We love Kai encouraging ppl!!

Kanna 1

This was so gender and idk how I feel about that

Mishima 1

Yaya it isn’t the same event!!! Mishima do be funny trying to cover up the smoking thing tho

Sara 1

Sara having the questions she should and learning about food, cool!

Gonbee 1

These two are so messy and I am living for it.

Sou 1

Sou your diet is worse than mine and that says everything

Q-Taro 1

Uhhhhh holy fuck this one went several places I did not think we were going to go here...

Reko 1

LMFAO KAI JUST WANTS TO TELL HIS GHOST STORIES ILL ENTERTAIN YOU SIR I PROMISE-

Joe 1

*LE GASP* HE KNOWS

Keiji 1

This feels like I just watched Celestia Ludenberg and Shin Tsukimi interact and ngl I love it.

Gin 1

I mean he would make a better Ultimate Supreme Leader than Kokichi Ouma ever did.

Q-Taro 2

80% muscle is quite a lot tbh

Nao 2

Nao making Kai question everything is quite the interesting dynamic to me.

Kanna 2

THE BUCKET HAT PLOT THICKENS

Mishima 2

We stan strange flutes on this island!

Keiji 2

No! Bad Keiji! Bad! Raw eggs aren’t for drinking!

Sou 2

Sou, you’re probably better off not questioning what he put in that soup.

Reko 2

Kai’s sense of humor is something I will never let go of

Gonbee 2

All Hail Gonbee, Lord of Shells!!

Joe 2

Joe just admiring his bestie’s talented stalker!!! How beautiful!!

Kanna 3

Okay this was nice and emotional and made me feel things

Sara 2

sARA HOW HAVE YOU NOT CAUGHT ON YET?

Nao 3

MORE MOMENTS THAT MADE ME FEEL ThINGS AAAAAA

Gin 2

Its ok Gin you don’t have to decide what you wanna do just yet

Mishima 3

This has been amusing actually!

Sara 3

This one is kinda ick??? Less so because I played the main YTTD game before this and know that a. Kai is lying here and b. The truth is arguably worse but still?

Sou 3

Sou dreams of being chubby confirmed?? Also LMFAO SEEING HIS GREMLIN SPRITES OUTSIDE OF THE MAIN GAME GIVES ME LIFE.

Joe 3

MR. KEBAB? MR. FLIRT??? PFFTT-

Keiji 3

KEIJI SHINOGI YOU DUMB FUCK

Q-Taro 3

thanks I fucking hate flat Q-Taro. kAI THANKS FOR REBUFFING HIM, I GIVE IT TWO WEEKS BEFORE SOMEONE WRITES KAI AS A HIMBOFICATOR IN A FIC

Reko 3

And now for the tea on why Kai has no social skills, brought to you by Reko!

Gin 3

the way he really said ✨I will find you a wife✨ and did not care if it meant making Kai into a monsterfucker I- 👁👄👁

Gonbee 3

THE LORDSHIP OF SHELLS AHHHH I LOVE IT

24 notes · View notes

egyptian-sun-god · 3 years

Text

Never Have I Ever (mildly critical lens)

1. BIG THING. NHIE is not a show that was made directed at me. Yes it has similarities with my heritage as Indian but I am not American. Not born there nor raised. I am a diaspora Tamilian though, and my schools throughout most of my life have had very little Indians and even fewer Tamilians in them. Usually its just me. So while there is overlap, Devi and I would have innately different experiences and worldviews.

2. Why is her last name Vishwakumar and her Dad’s name Mohan? Where that coming from. Correct me if I’m wrong, but most to all Tamil people use patronymic's right? Like am I right or am I tripping? Someone correct me. I checked Mindy Kaling’s bio and she took her father’s last name so I might be tripping?

3. Okay straight off the bat, Devi annoyed the hell outta me. Like no joke...I really dislked Devi. But she’s a traumatized teenager who has no common sense and too much hormones. I’ve seen ppl like her so I’m fairly happy we have a flawed and messed up portrayal of a POC and doesn’t feed into the idea of perfection. But also Devi’s mom is suprisingly lenient to Devi’s disrespect man. like I see why but woowowowowo....she’s uncharacteristically tolerant sometimes.

Now even though I get that Devi is supposed to be flawed and unlikeable. Because she is immensely selfish and bitchy with shitty communication skills. Devi’s friends forgive her waaay to fast. Like ladies, what are you aiming for? SAINTHOOD? Like at least let her grovel a little bit for being such a bitch.

4. Love interest. Y’all heard me. WHY THE FUCK IS BOTH OF HER INTERESTS WHITE or at least definitely white passing. Like they did Paxton dirty man. Like was it too much? Was it too much to wish for Devi to have more Indian friends or like an Indian/POC love interest? I feel personally that it is such a weird precedent that has been set with POC centric love stories. And this definitely should be a critic that has come up before.

You know which love stories resonated with me? Nalini and Mohan. Because it represented the possibility of like marrying someone (going off the assumption they were arranged to be married) and falling in love after marriage. A very real scenario for many many couples. Kamala’s entire shenanigan with Steve and Prasanth and having to choose between the uncertain boyfriend situation but losing family but keeping family and going with an arranged marriage. Also props to Kaling for not demonizing arranged marriages. Please please let season 2 explore Kamala’s struggle more. Hell even that one off thing with Eleanor and the tech crew boy was funny.

5. Kamala’s whole character was many vibes. Because counting down and stressing about marriage is such a goddamn relatable feeling. I ain’t that much younger than Kamala and let me tell you the anticipation/fear is REAL. And like her talking in Ganesh puja and like weighting the options of being a social outcast or going with the arranged marriage and with the hope that like you’ll find someone cool.

6. I don’t like how Devi tries to reject her Indian culture and I really really hope they develop that next season or something and get her to find a balance. Because at the end of that season she did get a good talking to about trying to be Indian enough or too Indian and finding that balance but it doesn’t feel like she’s finding that balance and her being jealous of the other Indian girl does not bode well for me.

ALSO THEY FUCKING MISSED OUT SO BAD. You make a series about a Tamil American girl and you don’t name drop any famous stars. Thala Thalapathy, Superstar??? VJS?? Surya? Dhanush? Nobody? Why? Like Devi doesn’t know them...makes sense. But like Kamala is from town right? She has to have carried some of that. Like that scene when she called them for a movie right? Why not name drop some famous ass classic like Baasha or Sachein or Roja? Like a cool nod to the Tamil kids out there watching this series to see parts of their culture and language included. Like even the soundtrack and songs have no Tamil songs? Like not even one for the heck of it?? WHY? IS THAT NOT SO SO MUCH MISSED REPRESENTATION? Like typical Tamil things like making a beat out of random shit, Tamil kuthu songs, Typical Tamil mega serials, food and enjoying food together. Like why wasn’t the food stated or name dropped.

Personally, NHIE was really really really white palatable and it didn’t really get it into any roots of our culture especially for a girl struggling to find roots as in where she fits. Like you gotta show both cultures and let the audience and Devi figure out where she fits. If you show long Netflix shows like Pretty little liars, show alternatives like mega serials such as Chitti or Mudiyaathu Karuppu or Mettioli? Or if you wanna be more modern name drop Tamil webseries’s? If you wanna show English pop hits, show Tamil album songs and kuthu beats. IF YOU WANNA REPRESENT, THEN ACTUALLY REPRESENT. Don’t pull this generic ass BS on me!

5. I hope the lack of tamil culture in the series gets corrected next season somehow. I don’t have ANY ANY faith that it will. But I can be hopeful. Also I lowkey like that Devi has like a “rival” of another Indian girl. I don’t like that is is rivalry cause brown sisters gotta support each other and that’s sort of been the general motto from where I’m from. But like I get why and it would make complete sense.

I really really hope that Aneesha is like super super Indian. Proud of her culture and brings a lot of her culture and its facets to discussions and not afraid to make her culture a focal point of herself. It would be a really good foil to Devi and it might spark some thought into her and accepting or at least recognizing the cool shit about being Tamil. I wanna see that mainly cause I used to be lowkey ashamed for having a strong accent when I speak cause I was made fun of and I didn’t like having different lunches or listening to different music and not being part of the more Western culture. But I learnt to ignore that and became like 3000 times more proud of being Tamil and wore like traditional clothes to school, ranging from kurti tops over jeans at first and eventually wearing full on chudidaars and saris (saris to proms at least, I couldn’t wear a sari on a daily, half sari probably, sari would be hard). Bringing traditional sweets and food and distributing them to anyone who would ask and trading lunches. Please let me see a brown kid who is proud to be brown and straight up in your face about it at times.

(Unrelated but to Tamil/Indian ppl who had other Indian/Tamil kids in your school like was trading lunches or like sharing lunches common? Like its a pretty common Tamil thing to do and I brought that culture of taking some of everybody’s lunch and giving everybody a part of mine everywhere I went. But like was that a thing? )

#nhie #nhie season 2 #nhie spoilers #never have i ever #netflix #tamil representation #tamil #nhie review #critical analysis of shows #sorry y'all I have a lot of feelings about this show

61 notes · View notes

anonil88 · 3 years

Text

The White Lotus (season finale)

I'm sad this is the last time hearing this theme song but I'm so glad that is only a "for now". It got picked ip for season 2 with new cast members and characters slated for next season. I think this intro is extended and I absolutely love it also I really would but all of these faux wallpaper designs.

As always spoilers below.

He's still sleeping on the beach wowwww. At least he made new friends, i love that for Quinn.

Yay we get to actually see him canoeing.

Girl, leave! Leave the ring and an address for the divorce papers.

Oooo the girls are fighting. Olivia has put things together I think.

Ew but at least their marriage is good....for now maybe until they go home. But I do hope for a while. Do married ppl really not be taking off their nightgowns for sex?

Is he dead? Is he the.... oh no he alive my bad. At least he is still there but I honestly think he has cancer or something. I think she is also wary.

Mushy af, both girls are disgusted. Even Paula who I'm thinking is going to try to stay on the island. Which I'm like um girl you're a mainlander....hmmmm

Paula knows they are over dramatizing the story but also feels guilty for getting Kai in trouble. He probably won't be seen again or briefly but once they leave I guess he will be okay. Maybe.

Rachel if your ass does not listen to Belinda.

Aw Quinn. I wonder if he can stay honestly it would be super beneficial for him. But also I'm having the same issue with Paula staying which is they are main landers in territory that native Hawaiians don't want non Hawaiian citizens to be and im like ehhhhhh

Shane did not just say that on the phone and also he did not say that he just mistold the story that they mistold. Yea he doesn't need a gun.

LEAVE HIM. But I do get she was all infatuated and "in love" and she saw him for who he really was on this trip. Which is a...... jackass. I wonder how many times this has actually happened to married couples on honeymoons. They realize on the honeymoon that the person they married is awful or that they are awful together.

He did not listen to her at all and is completely selfish. She never hid herself, but you did and are an absolute child to insult her. If he really loved her and did not view her as a trophy wife he would respect her feelings more. Not even more but at all because he doesn't respect them now and he never showed he truly respected them before. A literal man baby my God.

Fuck, Kai got caught or maybe he turned himself in. Paula really could end up an accessory to robbery with an intent to harm. Maybe we are now seeing that the plan wasn't so smart at all.

Tanya is giving me those vibes of the friend that only is around when they are having guy troubles or family issues. They never reciprocate emotions though. Slater's mom has got it going on and the ultimate milf icon turned down a younger man for stability. That is nice.

This is super pretty but I do really hope Quinn's parents even if they don't let him stay start respecting his interest and joy for nature.

Is Paula pregnant?!?!? I'm pretty sure there was no protection used. Olivia really doesn't understand reciprocity at all.

Oh damn she discarded the necklace, I wonder if he maybe told her he didn't want a child or that he was turning himself in.

She really has been sobbing this entire time oh my God, Rachel is actually a good person because how the heck she ever saw the good in this man is beyond me.

I fucking hate Shane, he really is getting Armond fired. Really hoping he doesn't spiral but I have a feeling he will. Omg I hope he doesn't die, but honestly leaving this job could be the best thing to happen to him, IF he stayed sober.

Paula got caught and kind of tried to spin it there for a second but I'm glad she is telling Olivia straight. Olivia bet not rat her out but honestly she had to be told the truth even though it fucking hurts and stings because reality hurts sometimes. When the rose glasses get ripped from you its scary , but she honestly deserved it.

Fuck, I'm hoping Tanya and Belinda's friendship ends on a good note but I think it won't. Yea it didn't and that is a fat ass stack of money but it isn't what she wanted. She wanted her own clinic which its kinda like fucked that she was kinda using Tanya for her money but its also messed up for Tanya to just ghost her once a man came along. This situation could have been so much more messy.

I keep thinking Dillon is going to die. Oh fuck Armond is high as a fucking kite. He said his last dinner and I'm really afraid he is going to die.

Paula is still at dinner with them, wow.

How are they still together. LEAVE HIM ! HE DOESN'T EVEN PROPERLY UNDERSTAND THOSE WORDS.

WHY DOES SHE KEEP SAYING I'M SORRY, MY GOD. He is the type to beat his wife and then blame it on his wife i fucking swear.

Olivia fell back into her families blissful rose colored glasses so fucking fast. That is how fake white woke people really are in real life, a lot of people are too chicken shit or too comfortable to openly call everyone in their family out. Maybe Olivia will get there but she's gonna have to do a lot more than read theory. She is going to need to apply it because for now she is a phony weak "ally".

The relief she should feel at him leaving is great.

Oh fuck another employee is getting high too, what if Hutch dies because I've never seen him before.

Yea this man is sick has to be. Bro, her mother just died.

OMFG is she finna end herself, please God no. This is too much tension.

This is an absolute rager, how wild would it be if they were just moving him to a different resort. Oh no, now several more workers are there

That parallel between Shane and Armondo is wild.

It's about to happen? I really hope this man rounds one off across Shane's jaw.

Will they or won't they be friends after they get home? I don't know.

Oh god, I hope he doesn't kill Rachel thinking its Shane. He should take a shit in his bag though.

Being arm candy is only nice when you want to be it, other than that it feels shallow. Belinda please tell her to leave this man before he puts his hands on her. Fuck, I do get being that tired though.

Yes! Take a shit! Take a shit! How did they get those fake steamers to fall so realistically, my guess is CGI. Omg he can smell the shit lmfao, he deserves it but I hope he doesn't hurt this man.

Oh FUCK no no no and its gonna look like self defense. UGH GOD and of course he dies in the pineapple suite, of fucking course he never got to escape that God forsaken place.

How the hell is Shane being hailed as a hero, he stabbed someone for taking a shit in his luggage.

Aw Quinn, sweet boy.

She let go of her mom finally, but for a man who will eventually pass and denying herself of her friend Belinda.

R.I.P Armond you truly deserved better than that piece of shit man ruining your life.

Noooooo don't turn into a woman version of Nicole's husband but without love. NOoooo I hate that so many women minimize themselves for a man like come the fuck on.

To the Shane's and Nate Jacob's of the world I hate you.

Back to being friends again but something has changed there.

He's isolated again but maybe he will just run away. Yep go on Quinn make your own roots.

And Belinda has to do this song and pony with a whole new cast of tourists ew. I hope Natasha Rothwell does come back though for season 2.

Aw Quinn.

Really good finale like really good.

Watching the talk back after and it makes me wonder how many of these white actors are as in tune with this conversation of whiteness and privilege that is at the center of this shows message as the writer and some of the other cast members. Hmmm anyway, really excited for season 2 which is only like a few weeks into the early early development stage what a lovely show to have fallen into. It started off slow but it did so in a way that made the world building develop in a way that once the action and anxiety rose the viewer is fully existing or moving in a space that feels familiar. Temporary but familiar and while I'm sure on a 2nd watch I can see all the things I did not like, but after that finale I'm very content and entertained. Armond as a character will forever be remembered for this and I love that.....which btw according to Twitter is an inaccurate way to rim.

#the white lotus hbo #the white lotus #spoilers #liveblog #lb

37 notes · View notes

thisdreamplace · 3 years

Note

ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

#eiypo

19 notes · View notes

papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket, Se3, ep 12 (Part 1)

The aftermath of the curse lifting~ Btw, the timeline is super messy. Flashbacks & background stories aren’t this anime’s best tool, it’s always felt messy when they attempt that. more on it in my side notes below. Now into the ep~

-Yuki & Machi: ( Blossoming Love!):

I love that the author attempted different direction of romantic love with yuki/machi that suits yuki’s personality! Opposite to kyo/tohru who had the (from best friends to lovers/ from roommates of 3 years to lovers). Yuki & machi’s love is based on natural crush & while she isnt his best friend, she’ll be his lover & they’ll know each other after dating. Both types of love are realistic & have their own path of dynamics, which is clear with how yuki/machi will be interacting & how kyo/tohru are now interacting since becoming official. I’m still bummed most of yuki/machi’s “noticing each other” is supposed to be off-screen, it robbed me of seeing yuki interact in a normal teenage-boy crushing on a girl which contrasts his relationship with kakeru, kyo, haru & tohru. Now, we’ll start the “ official-boyfriend yuki” stage! Also, this jump to confessions didnt help machi have any uniqueness beside being saved by yuki’s words from her trauma. watching her interact with him normally would’ve added realistic depth to her being a normal girl with unique cute quirks differently from tohru, Isuzu, kagura or even motoko!. Oh well~ moving on & focusing on the meaningful cute confession. I loved that altho there were a hug & a kiss, it didn’t have “ I love you” statement. You know they (will) love each other so dearly, but they’re in stage 1 now, she just called him by his first name for the first time! cute! I love that the emphasis is on the “ first name” calling since this is a huge key to yuki’s identity & struggle. Also, It is cute she bought a gift to tohru! This is a set-up to a healthy relationship with yuki since she isn’t jealous from a precious woman in his life that isnt related by blood.

-Moving towards the future: Kyoru’s final stage of growth!

By Kyokoy’s grave Kyo & tohru had key moment of growth & healthy closure to their core character issues::

1- Kyo’s toxic habit of running from life became a desire to run towards life!: While this habit is rightfully excused by his trauma, it needed to be addressed once his curse broke. We know he stopped running & faced his dad, confessed to tohru, accepted her love, embraced his crazy desire for her & accepted he deserved to be loved! Even ran towards tohru, chasing her! However, all the above is him running to the good current life in his grasp. He needs to run to the far away future this time! Needs to plan for the good & accept that the bad is part of it. struggling is part of life & he’ll endure it together with her, while enjoying life’s rewards.

I love that kyo is the one who suggested moving out to another city/place, cuz kyo was the one NOT living. He was long dead & trapped in the cage of his guilt & self-loath. Tohru at least was living thro helping others ( which is not real living but at least it’s better). Kyo was “ Mom, why didn’t you kill me instead of yourself?” ,“ I’ll kill yuki & then kill myself, would that please you, dad?!”, “ I cant forgive me, I dont want you to forgive me, tohru”. Walking on a road of self-destruction & slow death. But now, with tohru he wants life!!! all of it!! travel, learn, see, struggle, fail, succeed, build their own future by themselves.

I love that kyo didnt take tohru’s approval for his plans for granted. He really didnt think she’ll accept right away. He didnt even want her to dedice quickly, He was prepared for compromising to a better solution for them both. They’ll work other possibilities “ if i’m gonna live in this world, I want to do it with you”.

I love that kyo was real abt the obstacles ahead & didnt want tohru to just follow him based on love. He wanted her to decide on her own as well. He also, left the door open for her to change her mind anytime & this screams support & understanding!! Very powerful!.

2- Thoru’s toxic habit of being ashamed to desire anything for herself, living for others & wearing a happy “i’m okay” mask while concealing her true feelings became confidence, self-clarity & honesty: The tohru who was smiling while concealing grief on the beach is gone, the tohru who kyo had to coax her to “complain, be selfish” se01,ep5, to “not hide worrying over a relative’s sickness” se02, ep14 “ cry if she needs to” se3, ep6, is now telling kyo her honest opinion abt his proposal, while thinking of her own self as much as him & even objecting to his sentiment abt her mom’s words!!!!

I love that tohru is now a confident free woman making her own decisions based on self-honesty & communication with her partner. She wasn't just “okay” with it cuz he wants it while putting fake smile, No more of that. Now, she’ll say her true feelings, she asked him abt his plans, tried to see if it is a spur of the moment decision or if he really thought abt it. She also inquired where’s heading, who he talked to, what he’s planning! She is deciding for herself after hearing him! ok, this is your plan? I like it. I’m going! Very powerful!.

I love that like how kyo was realistic abt the plan having some difficulties due to starting away by themselves, she was also realistic that it is indeed sad to part with my friends, my hometown, & my mom’s resting-place, but i’ll choose ME now. “I” want to go with you for “me”. This is not a bind I’ll follow you wherever love story, this is realistic depiction of healthy relationship. Acknowledging hardships & accepting them saves you from being crushed by failure, you’ll endure it when it eventually happens & move on, cuz God knows we DO fail & succeed! Life isnt smooth sailing~

I love that tohru complemented him on his plan cuz she could see that is a sign of growth. If she’s gonna share her life with this man, it is delightful to see that he is thinking of a happier, healthier & realistic future! Cuz kyo was this destroyed man~ so destroyed he was pushing her away despite loving her dearly, now, he’s asking her opinion & permission to accompany him!

I love that tohru made sure to touch upon kyo’s last scar “ my mom doesnt hate you” This is a scar that wont go away even if kyo is mentally healthy. Cuz death is the ultimate truth. He can never hear kyoko’s affirming her love for him, he’ll have to trust in it based on their earlier interaction together. Tohru is powerfully & stubbornly taking away most of his pain by affirming her acknowledge of her mom. You might disagree kyo, you might still feel a bit guilty, it might haunt you sometimes. but me? NO. Never. Mom loved you. She meant ONLY good. Hopefully my determination heals you bit by bit, & it DOES. Kyo stands bravely, confidently & happily in front of kyoko’s grave & instead of saying “ i apologize for hurting you, or tohru, I’m sorry, forgive me”. he tells her he’ll keep their promise & protect tohru for life! he literally proposed there in front of her mom & all. T_T

-Kyoko’s Words: ( Sometimes, you don’t get to know the whole truth & that’s okay):

Can’t describe how much I love this part. This is the most painful yet important lesson in furuba. Life isn’t a movie where the entire truth is exposed to the characters or the audience. Sometimes you live & die without getting to know an important truth, hearing a much needed confirmation, or getting a loved one’s forgiveness. There are things in our life that we just can’t get back no matter how much we tried. What we do, then? die? despair? throw away what we DO have in our hands for this lost truth no matter how important it was to us? No, we do the only thing we can. Live. Not just go thro life’s motion, but really live. Accept the good & the bad. This is so goddamn easy & difficult as hell too!

-Kyo not knowing kyoko’s words at that time was tragic. It was so tragic it sent kyo into a suicidal descent into the abyss. The wounds of his mom’s death that were slowly healing with kazuma’s care got re-opened & poured blood! The old destructive habits became full force, The toxic coping habits returned with its ugliness. I can’t kill myself literally? I’ll do it figuratively. trapped, caged, destroyed, eyes shut, ears closed, only seeing his pain. Kyo is us. All of us in any moment of true crushing despair. He could never bring the dead back, hear their loving words or ask forgiveness. Thro kyo, the author is telling us... I know. You had your moment of lost truth, didn’t you? I know. IT IS OKAY. live, my child. your pain is valid, let it take its course, but afterwards live bravely.

-Kyo’s path towards healing is: the ugliest cuz it hurt tohru of all ppl, the longest cuz he was the last one to move on, the bloodiest cuz he’ll never have the ppl he lost, the rockiest cuz he failed & failed, the most frustrating cuz he repeated his mistakes over & over, He couldnt even do it alone. needed intervention & support. He lost hope. completely. But it is okay even if you fell as deep as kyo: stand up. even if you never learned the truth: let go. even if you were the last one to learn or heal: it isn’t a race. Embrace life with its good & bad & continue as kyoko said “ you fought well”

-Kyoko’s parting plea to her daughter broke my heart into pieces. Death is ugly, but death is a truth that we can’t escape. The leaving ones is hurting as much as the ones left behind, but hopefully, the leaving ones will find a happiness a kin to the ones left behind. yuki’s "say a prayer & move one, one step at a time” is all you can do.

-Kyoko was: a gangster who hurt others (ugly path), repented, married & had a daughter (fulfilling path), widowed & left her daughter while grieving (ugly path), came back, repented & tried to raise tohru well, love her enough! (fulfilling path), died & left her young high school daughter all alone (heartbreaking path) but she accepted that the last path isn’t sth she can fight, prayed, & accepted her fate~

-Kyoko~~ “ you fought well” while you were alive~ you really did! The Tohru you left behind helped a whole clan & hopefully readers as well! you tohru is loved by an entire generation of readers & anime watchers. Tohru is so precious & I can’t stop crying~

Side Notes:

Timeline is super messy & confusing. (a) Tohru’s hospital discharge, kyoru’s hug & curse break for everybody all happened at the (late) afternoon. While curse was breaking, akito was wearing her white kimono & she cried until tohru hugged her on sunset. (b) Before tohru’s hospital shigure’s face was scar-less. we first saw the scar in the afternoon & he was wearing his kimono.

Now the flashback, Akito wearing her outfit from her talk with the maid (which also happened while kyo was talking to his dad which is on the same day) & shigure wearing suit & it’s sunset time??????? How can the sunset happen before the curse break on the afternoon? She inflected the scars on the sunset, how did he have them on the afternoon of the same day?? both changed outfits which is even weirder??? Someone help me put things on order. Or is order not important? If the sequence of events isn’t important, then, why did it have to happen on the curse break day??? Shigure could’ve had his scars a day or two before tohru’s discharge.

Also the OP started in the middle of yuki’s scene which was so odd!

No big deal, but I still feel that yuki’s curse break would’ve been thematically powerful last ep. Especially after seeing The Zodiac Ruler come & collect the spirits. The legend would've been wrapped powerfully on the same ep where it was told. We see the zodiacs’ original story & we see its closure. It would’ve made tohru/akito’s hug more symbolic. An end of an era to akito & to them all. Real Goodbye to the zodiac animals, but now we had a goodbye & a half. lol.

Is yuki the only one seeing the cursed spirit? He looked down at it? I dont remember the others looking down where an animal would be? Is yuki’s curse special? different? He got all the ropes/bonds around him? I really thought yuki’s theme is all abt desiring to be normal & despising the “special” treatment that haunted him even in school.

Momiji/ kagura /kyo interaction is cute!

Haru/Yuki/ Isuzu interaction is cute as well. XD

Kagura, girl, you used to have best fashion, what’s up with jeans under knee length dress?! lol.

I’ll be honest. It is a lost opportunity that machi weren't made to question how teen-tohru is yuki’s mom. That would’ve solidified her as a unique stand alone character if she were to discuss it with yuki. Tohru being yuki’s mom figure is not normal, otherwise yuki’s entire dilemma of figuring out his feelings for tohru would’ve become meaningless. Having machi quickly “understand” it is a bit weird. But it helps the plot move quickly, I guess. ( it reminds me of Arisa hugging akito when she confessed stabbing kureno without questioning anything, it is weird, but you get the message that “ we aint got time for that~ gotta hop on the next plot).

I love that furuba subverted the old anime-trope of the entire happy cast staying together in one city/place & living exactly like they did in their teens except being married now! XD. It is so realistic that each character is now moving on their path of life~

Tohru wore a ring in her foreshadowing vision! SHE WORE A RING! My baby girl is a grown woman now~ T_T. I love tohru so much!~

Shigure/ akito & the last banquet is in my review part 2. I’ve been editing out any thoughts abt Shigure from my previous posts. I needed to see the whole picture first. I think can now talk abt them, I’m looking forward to the comments of the next part cuz I really really need to see if I understood it or if i’m off.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #crying paper #proud paper!#tohru is just so precious!#final season #Part 1

41 notes · View notes

mashiraostail · 4 years

Note

who do u think r the biggest simps??

eigFJKD THIS ASK IS SO FUNNY TO ME THANK U PUT IN ORDER FROM MOST TO LEAST SIMP LIKE I PROB FORGOT PPL BC ITS LIKE LATE LATE BUT I WANTED TO WRITE THIS AHSLSEDS

1.) Hizashi: THIS MAN IS SUCH A SIMP IT’S PRESENT MIC I DON’T CARE EVEN A LITTLE BIT THIS MAN IS SUCH A FUCKING SIMP!!! I can’t explain it honestly i just...i can so picture him being the biggest idiot for his s/o he’s always looking at pics of them and staring at them when they’re around and he’s gonna compliment everything they do period. Like aw the way you sit is so cute, aw I love how you twirl pencils with your fingers when you’re trying to focus, aw your stutter is precious. And god even a tiny CRUMB of kindness from you will put him on cloud nine. Oh you like his jacket?? Okay, he can happily die now. He has pretty eyes? Excuse him he has to go cry in the bathroom. The sappier you get the easier it is to get your way. . He gives so many gifts, little stupid things that make him think of his s/o but also big extravagant gifts tht always leave them totally flustered and embarrassed. Biggest simp. Simp of the year.

2.) Sekijiro- Sorry but.. Vlad king supremacy?? Idk why he’s such a respectful simp I just get those vibes from him. Like he’ll do anything his s/o asks, need something lifted? Ok he’ll be there in 5 minutes. Oh need help reaching something? Sure thing whatever you need. Had a bad day? Oh no well come sit here with me and we can talk about it or watch your favorite movie if you don’t wanna yet! This man loves love, if he gets hurt on the job, or has a bad day all he’s gonna wanna do is curl up with you and get all the kisses and loves and back rubs. If he’s having a bad day he’s def gonna sit around daydreaming about you. His phone bg is def either a pic of you together or just a pic of you, he has a lot of pics of you and he enjoys them very much. It’s always your way, you have to beg him to just tell you what he wants sometimes, and no ‘whatever you want babe’ isn’t a valid answer!!! sorry not sorry about it!!

3. Toshinori- GOOODDDDD THIS MAN IS A SIMP. He’s totally stupid in love w his s/o the minute they meet. He’s all blushy and stupid and smiley at them and he’s always paying little tiny thoughtless compliments like ‘oh you have really nice hands’ or ‘you’re always so helpful (: I’m so lucky to get to work with you!’ He’s just happy to be around his s/o and he’ll do whatever they want. Shopping? Sure he’ll tag along. Got a bunch of boring errands to run? He’ll keep you company. Need to do a ton of house work? He can help! He also loves giving small gifts, and any matching thing on the planet will make his heart soar, rings of course, but also bracelets, key chains, mugs anything this man will want it. If you say a song reminded you of him he will listen to it on loop for weeks. He’s totally fantastically infatuated and it’s such obvious puppy love too.

4. Taishiro Toyomitsu- PLEASE again this man is a major simp gentleman. He holds doors he gets you flowers he cooks you dinner he talks about you all the time. Seriously all the time. Tamaki probably knows your whole life story by now all he does is brag about you. Complete a slightly difficult task? Everyone Taishiro interacts with is gonna know it. Even the villains. If he ever does an interview you’re getting brought up. He doesn’t care how much he has to bend over backward to do it, he’s gonna talk about you or he’ll perish. When you’re together it’s kisses and hugs all the time, he barely ever walks by without giving you some form of kiss, and god the amount of times this man says ‘i love you’ in one day, hell one hour, should be illegal.

5. Kugo Sakamata- he’s not a super simp BUT he is still a simp, and the nicer you are to him the more simpish he becomes. If you have a normal comfortable give and take dynamic that’s good with him, but if you’re ever very affectionate with him he’ll be total putty in your hands. The longer you’re together the worse it gets. He loves gift-giving and there truly is nothing you can’t have. If you want it then it’s your’s Kugo doesn’t care, why would he? If it’ll make you happy then you can have as many as you want. So all in all, may not be a super simp at first but you can def mold him into one.

6. Keigo Takami- He doesn’t simp at all in the beginning, he’s actually an annoying little turd. But the longer he spends with you the more infatuated he becomes until eventually it feels like going 6 hours without a kiss from you is majorly pushing it. Tokoyami has heard about every accomplishment you’ve ever made from your job to how quickly you did the dishes the night before. He has seen a thousand photos of you and probably knows you really well if he for whatever reason hasn’t met you. Because Keigo is always stopping to visit on patrols, or begging you to come to see him at the agency for lunch or just a quick hello if you’re going to be passing through. When he gets to know you all he wants to do is make you feel good.

7. Aizawa Shouta- people probably wanted him higher on this list but idk he doesn’t scream simp to me. In public he def does NOT simp, he might stare at you a little too long if he isn’t expecting to see you and he’ll always smile back if you smile at him but don’t expect him to plaster pictures of you everywhere and constantly talk about how much he loves you because that isn’t his style. In PRIVATE though?? This man can simp for the right cause. And sir can this man SIMP. What do you want? A bath? Okay I can do that. Your favorite food? Sure that’s easy. Massage? You don’t even have to ask! He likes the effect he has on you, watching you get flustered and melt at his affection is something he starts to really enjoy the longer the pair of you stay together.

8. Mirai Sasaki- At first he doesn't simp, but once you hit a few milestones he’ll start. He likes making you laugh, and seeing your smile is at the top of his priority list, he has tons of photos of you smiling and if anyone is having a bad day he’ll think of some silly story about you to tell to cheer them up. Like others, his intern, Mirio, has heard all about you and probably knows you really well. He probably made it a point to introduce you after working with Mirio for a while. Mirio probably sees you as a package deal at this point.

9.Nemuri Kayama- Girl does NOT simp. You simp for her and you like it that way, periodsm!!! No actually though at first she also doesn’t simp at all, she doesn’t care, she can have pretty much anyone she wants so if you don’t like her then you can pack it up and find someone else. But the longer you stay with her the more she starts to warm up to it, she likes seeing you happy, so going the extra mile even if it is a bit much for her is something she’s going to start doing more and more. She’ll remember all your favorite things and give you random gifts. She’ll take lots of photos of you to keep for herself and she’ll send you plenty of her own. She starts to also find a lot of comfort in you and will be looking for ways to spend time with you.

10. Enji Todoroki- I aint explaining this. Mans aint no simp.

#aizawa shouta #hizashi yamada #nemuri kayama #yagi toshinori #taishiro toyomitsu x reader #kugo sakamata #keigo takami x reader #hawks x reader #keigo takami #hawks #aizawa shouta x reader #present mic #present mic x reader #bnha hc #headcanon #bnha requests

196 notes · View notes

sukisdeliveryservice · 3 years

Text

writer ask game // from @januarystars @starlightjoong @neolee231 tyty loves!!

tagging @kwonsyoungs hi aria hehe

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

harry potter! back in like 2015? those were uhhh not good D:

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

seventeen atm!! but maybe i wanna write a soobin fic :O (coffeehouse ppl don't look here)

3. how long have you been writing?

i wrote a lot during 2015-2017!! there's a HUGE gap inbetween and i started writing again in may 2021 D:

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

just tumblr!! i used to post on wattpad though lol

5. what is your favorite genre to write?

i would say fluff but for some reason i write a lot of comfort nowadays...maybe i'm just sad a lot

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

what is a pantser lol uhhh i don't really plan because i'm bad at writing and creating ideas in general so i guess pantser???

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

oneshots!! i get uninsipired really easily ;-; but for reading i usually like reading longer fics :D

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

depends on what it is!! sometimes i feel like you can hit the right spot in only a few words but sometimes i think its necessary to stretch things out for proper development :3

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

my spidey!chan fic is about 9k! it's complete and you can find it here - back to you

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

to be honest i didn't really like anything i've worked on because i'm really unsatisifed with my writing :( i'd say my debut fic - flights and feelings was my favourite because it kicked me back into writing and i felt less pressure to make it good :)

11. favorite request you have written and why(if any)?

bittersweet day !! mingyu makes me cry :3 thank you anon for rq that :)

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

terrible writing. but uhhh i repeat a lot of words/phrases out of habit :( and it's almost always going to have a happy ending because i'm a weak crybaby

13. Current number of wips(works in progress)?

probably like 3 or 4? i mentioned i get uninspired easily :( i'm also super inconsistent pls i'm so sorry

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing.

repeated words, awkward pacing/flow, long unecessary sentences, excess words in general, uncreative for the most part...

15. a quote you like from a published story.

he has a few more days until the end of his tour. maybe he can leave a little bit early, a lot of people are going to be upset though; but it doesn’t matter, he wants you.

“just a little longer okay love? i’ll be home soon.”

- say you love me

16. a quote from an unpublished story.

Jeonghan doesn’t age, you know that. You used to pray every night that one day you would wake up and find a wrinkle on his forehead, a crinkle at the corner of his eye, a strand of gray hair above his ear; anything that would tell you that his time to rest had finally come.

17. space for you to say something to your readers

thank you for giving me a chance guys 😭 i don't really have any works i'm proud of atm but thank you for sharing all your reactions in the tags and every little intereaction MEANS THE WORLD TO ME !! it's kind of baffling that someone took the time to read something i wrote and i read every single comment you guys make 💕💕💕 ily and i send hugs and all my love 💕🤧

#stickynote.suki

10 notes · View notes

dukeofonions · 3 years

Note

hi so i.found ur blog and its honestly like a breath of fresh air to look at so if its ok i might just fuckin,,vent here.

so. ik a lot of other people have been talking abt how pof was really straining to watch and i am.very late to the party but i need to talk abt it bcz holy fuck. when i first watched it i was in a way better place mwntally, also the general excitement of wow,content kinda overrode the headache and the eye hurty and the just. bad. but i was rewatching it recently because i was basing a fic off it and i just. i couldnt finish it because all of it was just so much and there was no fuckin warning?? so that was pog ig

next thing because i have. a lot of thoughts. ive been in the fandom for not-very-long, i joined in the middle of 2019 or something.and it just kinda sucks because im only still here for the fandom. i love the series but i can only watch dwit and compilations of logan/roman being sad so much before i can basically recite them off the top of my head. but i reallyreally love writing for the fandom!! it makes me so happy to do the writing, its just the fact that im not as invested with the series that makes me feel,,idk man guilty ig?? anyway thats too deep for a rant so im.a move on

god so tw me not liking post aa virgil and me talking abt toxic friends but hoooly fuck man. i just. pre aa virgil was fun because he was snarky and sarcastic and i could actually stand the nagst because his character made sense?? he was the 'bad guy' and he wasnt as woobified back then and he was honestly a solid vibe. but post aa virgil gives off the vibe of that one friend who fuckin, gets angry at you when you bring up any of your mental health issues and then blames their outburst on their mental health issuea and its like?? no i hate that character dynamic. people say bad things when the feel bad, sure, ik i have, but its the vibe of 'im gonna threaten you and then blame it on my mental health but if you so much as look at me wrong while ur having sensory overload or something i will smite you with the force of one thousand suns' and i am just.so tired. also ithink someone else said this but we should just call the series 'virgil sanders and the rest' because thats what it is now ksbdjqkbsq

also (all ofthese are my opinions btw and im not trying to say im rigbt im just tired honestly) the way. in pof the way patton's whole thing is 'you need empathy' is not funky fresh for both people with low empathy and high empathy 😎 bcz ppl with too much/too little empathy are always told theyre 'cold' or that theyre 'oversensitive', the whole 'there is an average amount of empathy and if u dont have that fuck you actually' is icky and bad and gross. i do think patton's character is really well done in the series but that episode jjust personally. ick.

and finally the moment uve not been waiting for bcz this is probably really tiring to read but the moment youve been waiting for-fwsa.just. why. its cute and stuff and i love nico. nico is a vibe. also bathroom man john is great. but shouldnt roman still be on shit terms with thomas?? like lk we're just gonna sweep away the whole 'i thought i wad ur hero' shizz? cool cool, glad to know romans arc still aint happening. also i get it, we needed to cement that virgil is a light side now. but like..did we?? actually bcz this is so long im gonna send in a second ask (im sososorry if this clogs up ur ask box if u tell me to stop i will i just. many thoughts) abt how even though i hate virgil, his arc should have been done. so differently. just gonna put like,, a mushroom emoji here so u can put the 2 asks together if u want 🍄

You’re always free to vent here! Sorry it took so long to respond but life has a cruel habit of getting in the way of things I need to do.

So for starters, the POF problem should be talked about more so I can assure you that you’re not late to the party. It never really got the amount of attention it deserved so I am more than willing to bring that back up and trust me, you’re not alone.

And again, you’re not alone in this either! Plenty of people still enjoy creating content for these characters. You don’t have to feel guilty for not finding the actual series interesting because honestly, I’m kinda losing interest too. But I still love these characters and I love that the fandom is still creating stories with them through different mediums.

Honestly I agree with just about everything you said about Virgil and I do eventually plan on tackling a lot of this in a future post. You know, if I ever force myself to just sit down and write the dang thing...

Oh my gosh I’ve been waiting for someone to talk about this because that whole thing about empathy in POF really ticked me off because you’re absolutely right, not everyone is 100% empathetic, and some people can be empathetic to a point where it hurts themselves. Like I get what they were trying to say but it came across as, well, like you said. “If you’re don’t have this exact level of empathy then eff you I guess you’re a bad person.” Maybe that actually wasn’t their intention but it sure came across that way and maybe I’ll go into it a little more in another post because now that I’ve been reminded of it again I kinda wanna talk about it more.

Okay yes, FWSA on its own is a good episode. Heck, it’s one of my favorites. It feels closer to a season one episode than ATHD that’s for sure. The problem with this episode isn’t the quality but the fact that it comes right after POF. And I’ve basically gone over this in my “Problem With Asides” post and how it affects both Roman and Virgil’s current arcs so I won’t go into much more detail here but just know that I pretty much agree with all of this.

Also don’t worry about cluttering up my inbox. It’s here for people to share their thoughts and that’s exactly what you’re doing! Hope to see your part two soon mushroom anon!

#dukeofasks #ts criticism #virgil criticism #pofaffair

35 notes · View notes

lizacstuff · 3 years

Text

Bölüm 45 asks

Plus a few asks from 44, and one about the fragman for 46