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#god makes no mistakes etc etc
classical-vanity · 10 months
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mxwhore · 3 months
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so right now a whole ass chunk of chile is burning down and it is really Fucking Bad. it hit and spreaded so fast im like. 90%!!!!! of the jardín botánico de viña del mar burned down in one night. four in ground workers died. i am absolutely heartbroken for them and the treasure in biodiversity gone. and thats just 4 out of +100? lives lost in this chaos, that is still ongoing.
because of this, i will be splitting my patreon income evenly between care for gaza and techo chile, for the foreseable future. donate if can you can! it would really make a difference
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itsjaywalkers · 2 months
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a lil smth under the cut for u guys (part 3) <3
(light nsfw)
part 1 part 2
“Well, it’s not perfect, but it’s decent enough, so it’ll have to do,” James says, and Regulus it’s too busy trying to keep his breathing under control to be bothered by the other man’s words. “Relax your shoulders a little, love.” 
“Don’t,” Regulus hisses, even though he isn’t sure himself if that response is because of the nickname, or James’ touch, or James’ closeness, or something else entirely. 
“Don’t what?” James asks, sneaking a hand up and massaging one of his shoulders until both of them sag. 
“You know what.” 
“I don’t even think you know.” 
Regulus huffs loudly, and hates that he can’t argue back. 
“Show me how you do a jab,” James requests, his hands returning to Regulus’ waist after one last press on his shoulder. 
Regulus clears his throat slightly, feeling a bit flustered all of a sudden while he raises his right arm and gets ready to do what James asked. He only hesitates for a couple of seconds before doing the punch, not as confident as he’d usually be after having James criticise him so much. 
He knows he’s no expert. He isn’t even that athletic to begin with. But he still has a boxer brother, which means he’s definitely not as clueless as James is making him out to be. 
Maybe if it were someone else, Regulus would find it in himself to fight back, defend his knowledge and Sirius’ teachings. But, as it turns out, having a professional boxer watching you try to punch is an incredibly humbling experience. Especially one as mind-blowingly good as James. 
Not like Regulus would ever tell him that.
James hums. “Not bad,” he says, and really, it shouldn’t satisfy Regulus as much as it does. “It’s a bit too slow, though.” 
Regulus tilts his head back, in an attempt to look at the other man, but he barely lasts a second after realising how fucking close both of his faces are. 
His heart beats wildly in his chest. He can only hope James doesn’t notice. 
“How so?” Regulus wonders, so relieved to hear his voice sounds completely normal. 
“Jabs focus on speed over strength,” James explains calmly. “It’s a matter of overwhelming your opponent, rather than properly hurting. The punch has to be quick, and once the arm returns, it’s gotta go up, protect your face. Like this.”
He grabs one of Regulus’ arms gently, moving it forward and then back very slowly, to demonstrate how to do it, and then fast, jostling Regulus’ whole body with it. 
“See?” James murmurs, and he could swear that his tone has gone lower. “You don’t have to worry about being strong enough. It’s all about speed.”
“Okay,” Regulus replies with a tiny nod, doing his best to concentrate on what James is seeing, and not on all of the points where they’re touching. Or on how close James is. Or how nice he smells, despite all the sweat—maybe even because of it. “I think I get it.” 
“Yeah? Wanna try again on your own?”
Part of Regulus wants to snark back, argue that it’s only a stupid jab and James is just being picky because he’s a professional boxer and it’s not like there’s an actual science to throwing a punch. But having James holding onto his waist must be clouding his mind, because he just gives another nod, and does his best to replicate James’ movement and speed. 
“Yeah, that’s it,” James breathes out, and Regulus can almost hear his smile. “Very good, love. You’re a natural.”
“Oh, I’m a natural now?” Regulus huffs out, but it comes out more teasing than irritated. 
“Or maybe you just have a great teacher,” James adds playfully, accompanied by a squeeze on his hips. 
“You’re right, Sirius is pretty great,” Regulus responds with a shrug, relishing in the way James clicks his tongue. 
“But I’m better.”
“In your dreams, Potter.”
“Wait, what happened to ‘James’?”
Regulus feels heat rushing to his cheeks. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
James chuckles way too close to Regulus’ ear, and his breath hits the side of his neck, goosebumps breaking all over his skin. Regulus has to swallow a very embarrassing and very needy sound before it makes it past his lips.
“C’mon, love, we were getting along so nicely. Don’t try to ruin it now.”
“You’ve finally lost it,” Regulus states, trying to laugh the whole thing off. It probably doesn’t work, though, considering how unstable he sounds. “There’s not a single universe in which you and I get along, Potter.”
“Liar,” James whispers. “I’m growing on you.”
“Whatever gave me away?” Regulus grumbles, sarcasm dripping from his words.
“The fact that you’re letting me touch you,” James murmurs, voice smooth and silky, feeling like a caress. “How you keep leaning against my contact, and catching yourself at the last second.”
Regulus’ breath hitches. “That’s—” 
“The way you’re not even arguing with me anymore. Not really,” James continues, unrelenting, his lips grazing Regulus’ earlobe and making his eyes flutter shut. “If anything, I’d even dare to say you’re flirting.”
“You’re delusional,” Regulus spits, too breathless to sound as furious as he’d like to. “The fucking audacity—”
“And,” James cuts him off, tone so frustratingly smug, “I bet you’re aching between those pretty legs of yours.” 
Regulus lets out an embarrassed noise, barely suppressing the urge to press his thighs together. 
“No,” he croaks out, shaking his head a little and face burning. 
“No?” James mocks him, pressing his smirk behind Regulus’ ear. “Shall we check?” 
One of James’ hands moves slowly, sliding from its place on Regulus’ waist to rest under his navel, fingers playfully caressing his waistband. 
Regulus hates how that mere touch is enough to turn his mind into static. To make his heart stutter in his chest, and the mess in his underwear almost unbearable.
“Potter—”
“No.”
Regulus’ eyebrows shoot up, and before he has the chance to ask, he feels James’ teeth at the side of his neck, nipping teasingly and dragging a fucking whimper out of him.
“What—?!” he begins, completely red in the face and attempting to move away from the other man for the first time since he allowed his touch.
James holds him tighter, bites down harder. “Behave, Regulus, or I’ll fucking make you.” 
Regulus doesn’t listen, despite how the tone of James’ voice makes him tremble like a leaf. He keeps resisting, an outraged sound leaving his mouth while his body betrays him and becomes even wetter. 
“Oh, you don’t get to play the clueless card on me,” James murmurs, his teeth giving way to a devilish tongue that turns Regulus soft and pliant, his attempts at freeing himself growing sloppy, lazy. “I always do my best to be patient, to respect your boundaries and control myself, but you’ve been a damn tease all afternoon, and I’m fucking done.” 
“What the fuck are you even—” 
“Enough,” James growls back, and it’s so commanding Regulus’ mouth snaps shut with a clack. 
There’s a beat of silence, and then James is laughing under his breath. “Good boy.”
It’s filled with mockery, bordering on mean, and yet, it still makes Regulus moan like a fucking bitch in heat, eyes rolling to the back of his skull and body going completely boneless. 
“Fuck,” James whispers, a mix between awed and devastated. “I should’ve known. I should’ve fucking known. Is that what does it for you, baby? You wanna be my good boy?”
Baby. 
Baby. 
Baby. 
Regulus moans again, even though it’s weaker this time, but he still shakes his head, or tries to at least, holding onto the last traces of sanity and refusing to let James win whatever twisted game they’re playing. 
“C’mon, you were doing so well,” James mumbles, tongue licking up the side of his neck. “And you can’t fool me anymore. Not like you ever did, but still. I know you wanna be good for me, baby. Know you wanna please me, let me use you in whatever way I see fit.”
He tries to shake his head once more, but somehow, his brain gets the order wrong and Regulus ends up nodding instead. 
“That’s right,” James coos, dropping a kiss on his skin, long and lingering. “Now, say my name, Regulus.” 
“James,” he gasps almost against his will, mouth moving before his mind can catch up. 
The other man groans and then attaches his lips to his throat immediately after, tongue pressing down as he sucks, the sting feeling absolutely heavenly. 
Regulus tilts his head to the side to give James more space, eyes hooded and limbs heavy, back coming to rest against James’ chest. 
“James,” he says again, without being prompted this time and the word almost sounding like a whine. 
“Fuck, you’re driving me insane,” James hisses against his neck, peppering the skin with open-mouthed kisses, his tongue and teeth mapping out Regulus’ skin. “You don’t understand how long I’ve been dying to do this.”
Regulus whimpers, hands moving on their own volition and reaching behind him until they bury themselves into James’ messy locks. He pulls, a bit harsher than intended, but before Regulus can manage to apologise, James is moaning loudly, the vibrations on his skin making him shiver. 
He pulls again, and James bites down on his throat hard enough to leave a mark. Regulus doesn’t have it in himself to reprimand him, or to tell him to stop. His brain is unable to focus on anything that isn’t James’ mouth working down his neck. 
“We could’ve been doing this ages ago if you weren’t so fucking stubborn,” James sighs, lips caressing his exposed shoulder and dragging another obscene noise out of Regulus. “I knew you wanted it. I knew you wanted me.”
“James—” Regulus pants, apparently unable to speak anything else apart from the other man’s name. 
It’s kind of embarrassing, how pliant a couple of kisses and a few dirty comments can make him. Regulus isn’t usually this easy, especially not in bed; he likes having a modicum of control, always ready to remind his partner that he doesn’t enjoy being bossed around. But, and as much as he hates to admit it, James knows what he’s doing. 
Although, maybe it’s not even a matter of skills. Maybe it’s simply that it’s James, and despite how much he’s tried to deny it, he’s been desperate for him almost since the moment he laid eyes on him. 
“God, baby, you taste divine,” James grunts, sucking on his collarbone almost at the same time that his fingers dip into Regulus’ waistband. They don’t get very far, and it’s more of a playful contact than anything else, but his breath still hitches. “Can’t wait to put my mouth between your legs.”
Regulus makes a keening sound, hips twitching, and James chuckles cruelly against his shoulder.
“You’d let me, right, baby?” James goes on, the hand that had slipped inside the basketball shorts changing its course and travelling up up up, until they’re caressing Regulus’ chest, following the shape of his scars. “There’s no point in pretending you’re not fucking gagging for it at this point. Just look at you. Look at you. I bet you could come from this. From me marking you up while I whisper in your ear.”
“N-no,” Regulus huffs, blinking furiously and doing his best to break out of his daze. “You’re too—too full of yourself. This isn’t enough, it could never be, and I—”
“Not enough?” James questions, stopping his ministrations. Regulus bites his tongue to stop the protest at the tip of his tongue. “Is this your way of asking for more, baby? Because you’re gonna have to do better than that. I don’t listen to brats.” 
Regulus wishes he could scoff, elbow James in the stomach so his touches stop clouding his mind and tell him to fuck off. Maybe even show him how well he can throw a stupid punch. 
But his body isn’t listening to his mind. It doesn’t care about what Regulus truly wants. Or what he’s been telling himself he wants, at least.
That’s why when he parts his lips, none of the curses he’s been preparing come out. Instead, there’s only need and lust. “Please,” he whimpers, closing his eyes tight momentarily. “Please, James, I—I just—”
James shushes him gently while circling a nipple, Regulus’ toes curling inside his toes and cunt clenching around nothing. “Oh, baby. It’s okay. I’m gonna take care of you so well. Give you exactly what you need.”
“Yeah,” Regulus exhales, hands spasming around James’ curls. “Please.” 
“Gonna let me fuck you, baby? Let me finger you nice and open, so you can get ready for my cock?” 
Regulus moans and nods and thrashes around, one of his hands slipping from James’ hair just so he can grab one of James' by its wrist, pushing his arm downwards and hoping to get some relief where he truly needs it. 
James stops right before he reaches his waistband, a cocky grin curving against Regulus’ skin. 
“Well, well,” James breathes. “Aren’t you a needy little thing.” 
“C’mon,” Regulus complains, uncaring of how childish he sounds. He feels too fucking drunk on everything James to be able to think about anything else apart from getting off.
James laughs again, because he’s mean like that, and Regulus can already feel some tears prickling at his eyes out of frustration.
“You have to tell me what you want, Regulus,” James says, and his voice is so damn casual it actually hurts. “This won’t work otherwise.” 
There’s no this, Regulus wants to snap back, but then James is pressing nearer, until Regulus can feel the outline of his hard cock against his ass. It makes him gasp and push back against it, really pleased by the little hiss James lets out at the pressure.
“See what you do to me, baby?” James whispers, dragging his lips over his shoulders, the side of his throat, behind his ear. “We barely did anything, and yet I’m so fucking hard it’s actually painful. You’ve no idea of how many times I’ve jerked myself off to the thought of you. Wishing it was your hand instead. Your mouth. The inside of your cunt.” 
Regulus’ knees shake, a mewl escaping his parted lips, and James’ grip on him turns even stronger. 
“I bet you’ll feel all tight and warm around me,” James goes on, tone husky, words dripping with so much desire it makes Regulus light-headed. “Make the sweetest sounds, too. I used to think you were too uptight and that I needed to fuck the stubborness out of you, but it turns out that you’re real fucking dirty, baby. Grinding back against my cock and opening your legs the moment I praised you a little. Oh, if they could see you now, baby. Big bad scary Regulus Black. Reduced to a pathetic, whimpering mess.”
“Shut up,” Regulus grits out, but he doesn’t stop rubbing his ass on James’ cock, or pulling at James’ wrist insistently, in an attempt to get his hand inside his pants. “You’re all bark and no bite. Spent all these months telling me everything you wanted to do to me, and now that I finally give you a chance, you’re only teasing and babbling in my ear.” 
“Good try, baby, but you should know by now that that attitude of yours only turns me on.” 
“Yeah? Then how come you’re not fucking me yet, huh?” 
James’ other hand, the one that hasn’t stopped gripping Regulus’ waist for a single second, lets go and climbs up, taking a hold of Regulus’ chin. James uses it to tilt his head back, forcing their gazes to meet, and Regulus despises how he feels himself get slicker at the flash of danger on James’ gaze, the sharpness of his smirk. 
“God, the mouth you have on you, baby.” James cocks his head to the side, considering, and he grips his chin even tighter. “So fucking filthy. And so pretty when you beg.” 
“I don’t beg,” Regulus murmurs back, aware that it’s a lie. He still narrows his eyes when James barks out a laugh. 
“Yes, you do. You already have. And you will do so again, if you want to come.” 
“I don’t need you for that. I can just—just walk out of here, leave you hanging and get off all by myself—”
“No, you can’t. I’m sure you’ve also jerked off while thinking of me, right, baby? All that tension, all that repression, I know it took its toll. Did you finger yourself slow and deep as soon as you got home after our interviews? Came with my name in your mouth?”
Regulus only glares at him, not even trying to defend himself. What’s the point, when James can see right through him? Lying won’t do him any favours. 
“You did,” James states, ridiculously pleased with himself. “You’re not gonna go and waste this chance over your wounded pride, baby. Argue all you want, but we both know you’re not going anywhere. Not when you’re practically drooling at the thought of taking my cock.”
“Don’t act like you don’t want it as much, if not more, than I do,” Regulus grumbles. 
James shrugs, leaning forward and forcing Regulus to do the same. Until their noses are grazing each other, breaths intermingling. 
“Never said otherwise,” he retorts with ease. 
“Then what the fuck are you playing at?”
“Nothing, really. Just waiting for you to tell me what you want. I’ll give it to you, baby, I swear. You just gotta ask.” 
Regulus purses his lips, but James does sound sincere, and at this point, it’s not like he has anything else to lose. It’s too late to try and save face, and his dignity, or whatever was left of it, took its leave the moment he allowed James to get this close. 
Besides, he wants this. He wants James. Has done so for a while, probably since the very beginning, and not even he has this much self-restraint.
“Fuck me,” Regulus says in a soft exhale, watching the way James’ pupils eat at his irises. “Please, James, fuck me. I need you inside me, it’s—fucking unbearable, really, and I’m gonna lose it if you don’t—”
“Yes,” James gasps out, nodding fast, moves turning erratic as he finally slips his hand under the shorts, under Regulus’ briefs. “Yes. Of course, baby, anything you want, I’m—shit, you’re so—let me just—”
His fingers rub at his clit playfully, pulling a moan out of Regulus, before they continue their path down, until they’re running through slick curls, teasing at his entrance and marvelling at the wetness they find there. 
“Fuck, baby, you’re fucking dripping,” James whispers in wonder. Regulus can only whimper, pushing against his eager hand. “And it’s for me. All for me. Fucking hell, just—come here—”
It’s when James tilts his head up, clearly wanting to kiss him, that Regulus finally manages to go back to himself. That Regulus remembers where he is, what he’s doing, who he’s doing it with. 
Reality hits him with such harshness that the ground seems to tilt under his feet, leaving him breathless, and dizzy, and having to swallow down a wave of nausea. 
What the actual fuck is wrong with him? 
“Wait,” he squeals, James’ mouth already touching his. “Wait.” 
To the other man’s credit, he does stop immediately at Regulus’ words, pulling back and fingers freezing where they were exploring at his cunt’s entrance. 
Regulus takes a gulp of air, heart rumbling loudly inside his head, his brain screaming at him to get a fucking grip. 
“Reg?” James calls him, a worried frown twisting his features while his eyes roam all over his face. “Baby, you okay?”
“Don’t—” Regulus wheezes out, clawing at James’ arm until he gets the hint and takes it out of his pants. He can’t think with those thick, calloused fingers resting on his cunt. “We can’t do this. It’s—no, James, just—no.”
Something pained flashes in James’ gaze, before it disappears, being substituted by a harshness Regulus has to look away from. “Regulus—”
“No,” he repeats, a lot firmer this time. “I’m not—I can’t, James. I’m sorry, I really am, but I just can’t.”
Regulus doesn’t stick around to hear James’ response, or watch his reaction. He moves away from him, legs shaky but still managing to support his weight, and he exits the ring without daring to glance back.
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hamartia-grander · 1 year
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Stop giving me excuses as to how a female character is annoying to you and start explaining how the hell you think finding a woman annoying justifies hating her or disregarding her as a character
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voidcat-senket · 4 months
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Just thinking about how storytellers are all linked together in a chain of ingesting the stories, themes, metaphors, concepts, ideas, subjects, etc of beloved predecessors and peers and finding what touches you, inspires you, moves you, what you also want to communicate and then- making something of your own, something that will touch someone next, change them a little (or a lot) in a beautiful way and they’ll make something too, maybe with a little bit of you in it.
And we’ve been doing that in an unbroken link since language began.
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sparfloxacin · 7 months
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hiiiiiiiii have a great Sunday!! 🥰 here to manifest a new Sunday stream (and new Olli smiles) from Aleksi tonight 🤞🕯️✨💖✨🕯️🤞
I'm mad at how insanely hot Olli looks here 😩
helloooo! 💗
oooh a Sunday stream (with some Olli smiles of course) would be nice 🥺🤞🏻🕯️
also kinda irrelevant to the ask but I actually saw this pic of Olli yesterday and noticed the shirt and thought about how we haven’t seen that in a long time and then of course the first thing I do is browse through Aleksi’s Instagram and I noticed he was wearing the same shirt around the same time as well (and yes it’s the same shirt and you actually CAN’T concince me otherwise) 🤧💞
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hope you have a great Sunday too! 🥰
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intomybubble · 2 months
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I am so glad I decided to avoid manhwa/manhua after getting back into reading manga online last year. There is literally way too fucking many and I get massive FOMO so it makes it so incredibly overwhelming.
I already have dozens of tabs open of manga to get to, I cant have another several dozen shojosei isekai rebirth revenge and k-drama romances
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qulizalfos · 5 months
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just made the mistake of logging onto byler twitter "for fun" to see what theyre talking about over there. anyway. safe to say this has been one of the most stressful experiences of my life.
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catchmewjsn · 5 months
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#honestly they moved me to a different office right now so im not alone in my place anymore and tbh i should not be complaining bc at least#this one gets warn fast and im not in the open first to call usually and all but idk i feel like an intruder there and miss having lots of#place and the fact noone seen my screen etc and just overall i would prefer sitting next to the guys but also 😶 idk i just dont like anyone#hearing my phone calls etc and also i fucked up at work today BADLY but noone knows yet and this sounds like i fuck up a lot but i always#called the smaller mistakes this too i guess shskd also i almsof argued with a man who's our client on the phone but for gods sake i do know#i am right and idk if he's making me feel stupid or something or is he using one of my mistakes for his own good idk idk idk it will be a#nightmare to make this work now#and also we are having some kind of meeting with food etc tomorrow in the office upstairs but also rhe atmosphere is so not it and dudes not#at work tomorrow and he should be the one in there and like idk it all works like a fucked up chaos i also almost argued with the d irector#today bc of this lmao almost on dude's behalf bc tht waa the situation that pissed me off first#and i got to walk or catch a bus home tomorrow and like my mind does work so fast and keeps overthinking lately 😕#walking isnt the best best for me tbh#also i made plans with my friend and i do hope i open to her during the weekend bc i want to talk about everything so badly but at the same#time idk like i cant talk about personal things anymore (except here) she doesn't know what is making w suffer 😔#i think i made a decision about monday tho not the best one but both were bad so at least here i am...#anyone i am still helpless and that's what the sentence will end at bc i don't want to say the same thing again and again and again#anywya i have to delete this bc its too much details soon
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wonder-worker · 6 months
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“Edward IV was never the sole, undoubted representative of the kingship before I47I. The crowned, anointed and, most important, de facto king of nearly forty years standing, was still alive, never abdicated and was never deposed; he was free until I465 and safe thereafter so long as his heir was beyond Edward's reach ... Barnet, Tewkesbury and the prompt murder of Henry VI, the moment it was safe to do so, alone changed all this and secured Edward's de facto kingship at last. The 'first reign' was in fact the road to the throne.”
- B.P Wolffe, review of “Edward IV” by Charles Ross
#edward iv#english history#that's a really good point I think#Edward IV was definitely in a wildly different and far more vulnerable situation from other 15th century usurpers#Henry IV and Richard III both had the usurped kings in their control and both Richard II and Edward V were childless so their usurpers#didn't have to worry about direct heirs#Henry VII defeated Richard in battle and was thus not only able to avoid the stain of regicide but was also able to gain added legitimacy#God-given victory in battle; divinely ordained triumph etc#Richard III also didn't have any legitimate heirs & hadn't formally declared anyone else his heir either#(and was himself viewed as an usurper himself by many)#So without discounting their difficulties they were all ultimately 'de-facto' kings from the beginning. Meanwhile Edward IV lacked that#across his 'first reign' and still somehow managed to get through which I think is actually pretty impressive imo? All things considered?#Ofc that's not to say that the circumstances were totally neat-and-clean for Henry IV Richard III and Henry VII - that's laughably untrue#But it was fundamentally different and more 'secure' in comparison to *Edward IV's* specifically#(John Guy talks about this in 'Tudor England' as well)#That's not even getting into how Edward IV was so much younger than the other three usurpers (he was 18 to their 32 30 and 28 respectively)#when he ascended the throne. So ultimately I think that his first reign was certainly very different and more vulnerable#which I definitely think this should be kept in mind when evaluating it - particularly if the evaluation is comparative in nature#(eg: in terms of internal opposition; foreign opposition; support; room to make mistakes etc)#On the flip-side it's also VERY indicative where Richard III is concerned. Because however morally distasteful his usurpation may have been#on a personal level - he WAS ultimately the de-facto king and the best option for dynastic continuity. And was clearly attempting a#policy of pardon and reconciliation where his brothers' followers were concerned. So it speaks volumes that despite that - despite#having nothing to gain and everything to lose - so many people rebelled against him or defected to a rival claimant who could#at that point offer them no such manifest advantage whatsoever
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tarakau · 1 year
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urbanfiltered · 1 year
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exhibiting never before seen signs of self actualization/mental illness
#dancing around the apartment with the same emo ass screamy song on repeat for the 20th time and randomly#cutting various t-shirts into crop tops as i see fit#it IS 4 am and i am swinging my hair around like it is midday which is so dangeous for my sleep schedule but#in my defense an evening coffee happened#anyways why did i wait this long to move out lol i love it here#also i think an interesting thing has happened to my brain and i am finally O.K with not having plans on a friday night#comforted by the fact that i have an extremely busy saturday night so i am just allowed to like#chill with myself tonight#and after the week i have had BY GOD do i deserve it#and i dont feel 'lame' and i'm not constantly checking in on other people to see what they are doing like#im genuinely just vibing#extremely new feeling for the girl who always has to be Somewhere#i think i no longer feel like i am making up for lost time#tbh trutfhully i am in my ''disaster undergrad'' era at 25 but with like.#money.#in an unfurnished apartment sleeping on the floor with the rattiest and shaggiest haircut i have ever sported in my life and#eating my breakfast cereal out of a mug with a plastic spoon bc i dont own much dishware#and going to bed at 4 am when i have work at 8 am and somenow manageing to get it all done#cooking my own meals messily and making mistakes#except i can afford to make the mistakes and i can make the adult purchases and plan vacations and trips and buy clothes etc so it is like#the best of both worlds in a way#i feel like i worked really hard to be in the exact space that i am in now and i know a lot of it was sheer luck#of being in the right place at the right time to know the right people to get jobs and stuff#and a SHIT ton of prayer and reflection and introspection and indecision#but things are looking the way i want them to now!!!#veeeeery slowly#anyways on an unrelated note does someone want to help me pick a bedframe <3
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Hiiiiiii~ Do you have a crush on anybody? 🥺😳😳❤️
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🥰✨yeah~✨🥰
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💖🥺🙏✨hehe~ twirls hair✨🙏🥺💖
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EHE EHE HEH EHEHEH
but in all seriousness: no 😩😔
and on an even more serious note: i don't like to put labels on my romantic inclinations tbh; however, while i keep myself open to the possibility of Something Happening, i also, historically, know my limits. i've been in relationships and i've loved fiercely and been loved fiercely, but unfortunately, in spite of that and spite of wanting the warm comfort i've always dreamed of with another person, and that wonderful woodsy wedding i've been planning since i was a kid.. i've learned i'm kind of uncomfortable in a romance. there are a lot of factors as to why there, and again, i'm not closed off entirely to the idea in the long run; but for right now, it's a no-go.
i think my reservations are more of an issue when it's something face to face and destined to be a physical or day-to-day constant rather than anything as removed as something online, but the halt is absolutely there nevertheless. i've got a lot of issues to work through and i'm not really gunning to get connected with anyone and tho i've developed crushes on people online and off, i pull on those reins VERY hard because it's just not fair for me but especially not the other person when i'm so unavailable. i've tried, but really, i'm very unavailable at this time; i have a lot of growing, and personal fixing and maintenance to do before i'd feel comfortable opening myself up to further consideration for finding a partner.
if there's anyone out there who happens to have a crush on me god BLESS you i would CRY and i'm so, so sorry to disappoint(?). pls say hello anyway and let's be friends 🥺🙏 but in terms of romance, come back in 2030 when GOOMT's done*; maybe things'll be looking better in the heart department by then. 🥚❤️
*joking. ................. maybe.
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The guys who dont know anything about magic
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alebrijediscordico · 2 years
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*thinks abt wings* *thinks abt wings* *thinks abt wings* *thinks abt wings* *thinks abt wings* *thinks abt wings* *thinks abt wings* *thinks abt wings* *thinks abt wings* *thinks abt wi-
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So, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I keep seeing metas about how Aziraphale wants Crowley to return to Heaven and be an angel again because he wants them to be on the same side/be good/change/etc., etc., etc. but I don’t see that at all. I actually see it as the very opposite.
Aziraphale loves Crowley just as he is. But there’s something more. Something huge.
Aziraphale loves Crowley and because he is an angel who is stuck in seeing things as black and white, he constantly praises Crowley for being nice. For being good. For being kind.
Aziraphale has watched Crowley on and off for 6,000 years. He watched him thwart the plans of Heaven and Hell because it was unjust. He spared the lives of innocents. He did small things that made Aziraphale happy just because (like making Hamlet successful and saving valuable books). And because Aziraphale sees things in black and white, he sees all the things Crowley has done as nice, as good, as kind.
Crowley vehemently attests he’s not nice or good or kind.
He’s not exactly wrong nor is he lying when he says this. When Crowley spares goats during a cruel bet over a righteous man and swallowing laudanum to prevent a suicide, when he prevents Armageddon by working with Aziraphale and stopping the Anti-Christ from being the Anti-Christ, he’s not doing the nice/good/kind thing.
He’s doing the right thing.
Crowley chooses to do the right thing without hesitation. He is better than all of Heaven and Hell who have callous and dispassionate view of all existence because he questions, because he makes choices. Crowley sees the world for all its messiness and he sees himself. He sees a place where he fits in. He sees the blurred edges.
And Aziraphale sees that, even if seeing the blurred edges is hard for him.
But here’s the thing that Aziraphale can’t voice.
It’s the reason why he told Crowley about being allowed to return to Heaven and become an angel again. He doesn’t want Crowley to change. He doesn’t think Crowley is flawed. Or not enough.
It’s something that is so monumental that it cannot be put into words. Because to put it into words would be more than blasphemy. It’s down right unthinkable for anyone in Heaven, Hell, or Earth to say what Aziraphale knows deep in his soul.
God was wrong to cast out Crowley.
Aziraphale believes Crowley can/should return to Heaven because he knows that Crowley should never have fallen in the first place. He wants him to be forgiven because when Crowley fell it was unjust. Aziraphale is trying to correct a mistake. He’s trying to do the right thing.
Yes, Crowley would never accept returning to Heaven. And Aziraphale was wrong to even suggest it (although that conversation is another can of worms to unpack).
Aziraphale loves Crowley. He loves him exactly as he is. He doesn’t want him to change. Aziraphale knows that Crowley the best of all of them. He wants to change Heaven because of it. Because God was wrong and Aziraphale knows it.
Aziraphale may have difficulty seeing beyond black and white, but when it comes to Crowley he sees everything crystal clear and in vivid color.
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