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sparfloxacin · 8 hours

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one day I'll stop writing the awful terrible morally questionable Olli/Allu infidelity AU 😭 ...not today however 👀

[set after the Nokia Arena show]

It was wrong when they did it on the road, and Olli knew that. They both did, although they never talked about it; never once stopped to have that conversation in between all the sloppy handjobs and the nights secretly spent tangled up under the covers.

It was different, however, to do it somewhere in between Nowheresville and Onehorsetown on the tour bus at 2 am or in a hotel room in a hotel room in Bilbao, where it was easy to pretend they were in an entirely different time and place and universe, one in which they weren't going to Hell for what they got up to behind closed doors, if such as place as Hell even existed.

It did to Olli; it existed in the way Aleksi look straight into his eyes while his girlfriend's lips were right by his ear, whispering something Olli never wanted to hear about. Then again, so did Heaven, in the way he was now pressed in between the cold bathroom wall tiles and Aleksi's hot body, mere minutes after Aleksi had whispered the girl something back and stood up, the glance he then shoot at Olli both an invitation and a warning.

In that little heaven of his, Aleksi's lips were salty from his sweat and sweet from the Pepsi he had been drinking, just the perfect combination to make Olli tighten his grip on Aleksi's lips and pull him even closer.

"I saw you looking at me," he told Aleksi as his hands found their way under Aleksi's shirt. "During the show. When you thought I wouldn't notice."

"You wish." Aleksi's answer came out almost aggressively, emphasised by the fierce tugs on Olli's collar.

In some strange way, Olli adored it.

"You like the way my ass looks like in those trousers, huh?" He stole another kiss and let his tongue linger in between Aleksi's lips to see the fury glow in Aleksi's black-rimmed eyes.

"Fuck you," Aleksi growled. The hard cock grinding against Olli's thigh seemed to agree, although probably in a very different way than in which Aleksi meant for his words to be perceived. Olli's own was throbbing and just as hard inside his pants, and he rolled his hips to meet Aleksi's thrusts for some much-needed friction that lured a quiet moan from Olli's throat straight into Aleksi's mouth. Accompanying him, Aleksi let out small sighs every time Olli pushed his thigh against his bulge, the spiteful fuck you from his lips turning to nothing more but a dark twinkle in the corner of his eye by every lust-filled second that passed.

"Blow me," Olli growled back at him. Not that I'm opposed to letting you fuck me, he added in his mind, but because I just really, really, really need my cock in your mouth right now.

Aleksi kissed him even harder after that, with so much force that for a second Olli thought Aleksi was trying to push him through the wall, to the private lounge where all their parents and spouses were. Olli doubted even that would've been enough for him to stop Aleksi.

With quick fingers Aleksi unbuckled Olli's belt while mouthing and nuzzling his nose against Olli's stomach. Once the belt was off and the trousers unzipped, Aleksi kissed his way down Olli's happy trail to the elastic band of his boxers, wasting no time to pull them down.

Time, after all, was something they never really had, not in this world at least.

Just barely Olli managed to muffle his first moan on his palm when Aleksi took him in his mouth with no warning. His tongue immediately found its usual place on the underside of Olli's cock, and his wet lips wrapped around it tightly as if they were made to hold Olli's hardened length between them.

(Secretly Olli thought they were.)

As the first waves of shock had washed over and turned into familiar pleasure, Olli dared to remove the hand covering his mouth and buried his fingers in Aleksi's hair. He had offered to trim it for Aleksi just the other week, but Aleksi had refused, telling him he was still growing it out. When they were like this, with Aleksi on his knees and Olli's leaking erection in his mouth, Olli couldn't bring himself to argue against it. Perhaps that's exactly why Aleksi was so opposed to the idea; perhaps he liked it when Olli guided his movements on his cock by gripping his hair, or when Olli twirled the overgrown locks around his fingers them as they lay in bed in a pitch black hotel room, the darkness and the looming guilt surrounding them.

And so he did now, gripping a handful of blonde hair with his left hand to keep Aleksi's head still as he thrusted in, gently although he knew Aleksi could take much more, while his right hand fondled the soft hair behind Aleksi's ear to let he know he was doing well.

(To let him know Olli loved him, even if it wasn't in his place to do so.)

Aleksi's warm mouth pleasured him tirelessly and skillfully, slowing down at the tip every now and then to kiss the head of Olli's throbbing member before diving down again until Olli could feel the cool metal of Aleksi's septum near the base of his cock, a sensation which drove Olli mad each time. In the meantime, Aleksi's fingernails were digging into Olli's bottocks, deep as if with an intention to cut through the skin.

(To let Olli know he loved him back, or so Olli wanted to believe anyway, even if he shouldn't have.)

Olli knew he wouldn't have to announce his nearing climax. Aleksi could tell when he was about to come anyway; Aleksi wouldn't mind taking his load, the thought of which Olli tried to push away from his mind for as long as he could or else he'd fill Aleksi's mouth in a heartbeat. What Olli didn't know was how Aleksi did it, often anticipating Olli's orgasm way ahead of him, began loosening his grip and instead massaging his bottocks or his balls, sometimes even his belly if they weren't in an awful hurry. It wasn't one of those times now, OIlli was well aware of that, yet he still hoped Aleksi would have slid his palms to his abdomen and stroked him there, teased his happy trail or caressed his hipbone and made Olli melt in his hands until he couldn't hold the moans in anymore.

It wasn't one of those nights now, despite the euphoria of the arena show, not with their loved ones just outside the door, not with how one of Aleksi's nails was sharp enough to make Olli bleed.

Olli didn't notice it until afterwards though, until after Aleksi had grabbed his twitching cock to keep it still as it painted Aleksi's lips and mouth and jaw white and he saw a smudge of red on Aleksi's finger. A moment later, before Olli could say anything, the finger disappeared inside Aleksi's own mouth and came out clean from both cum and blood.

While Olli was too stunned to speak, Aleksi stood up and started undoing his own trousers. His hands were visibly trembling, as if nervous of otherwise troubled – or maybe just frustrated, growing impatient to get his own release. Olli helped him out of his pants and took Aleksi's hot cock inside his fist, letting Aleksi start thrusting into it without exchanging a word, with no commands or pet-talk whatsoever. There was no time nor need for those kind of things anyway.

In a world of their own, Olli would have told Aleksi how well he had done. He would have kissed him deeply to taste himself on Aleksi's tongue; groaned his pleasure into Aleksi's mouth and neck and ear and everywhere; took his time touching Aleksi in the way he knew Aleksi loved to be touched so that he'd get to see the Aleksi no one else in the world ever got to see.

The Aleksi that was vulnerable, behind all that confidence he wore.

Defenceless, with all his walls down.

Tender, soft, trembling in Olli's hands; lost, a little broken with how his eyes sometimes watered when Olli touched him.

Heavenly. Hallowed.

His.

The Aleksi Olli was now holding was a different one, driven by his lust and the addicting thrill of being caught, Olli assumed. Olli loved him just the same.

The short, sharp puffs of air into Olli's ear were the soundtrack of Aleksi spilling into Olli's fist. Patiently Olli waited for Aleksi to collect himself, hoping but not expecting one last kiss before they'd return to their families. At last Aleksi lifted his chin from Olli's shoulder and silently tucked himself back inside his pants before leaving a half-kiss in the corner of Olli's mouth without looking him up in the eyes. In the next moment he left the bathroom, with his hands and Olli's heart in his pockets.

When Olli returned to the lounge, minutes later so as to not raise suspicions, he found Aleksi mouth to mouth on the couch with his girlfriend. Olli wondered if she could taste what Aleksi had tasted just a moment ago.

"And where have you been?" Olli's girlfriend asked from the couch opposite Aleksi and his partner. Her tone was more curious than accusatory from having abandoned her.

"Just... over there."

It wasn't a lie. He could try and use that as an excuse to forgive himself one day.

She recounted something Olli's parents had talked about earlier. He couldn't take his eyes off Aleksi and his girlfriend, even though he would have rather looked everywhere else. It was a thunderstorm; terrifying and world-shattering at worst, yet the sight haunted him and he couldn't look away.

Olli's eyes still followed them when they excused themselves and headed for the way out, so he saw how Aleksi slid his hand down her back and in the back pocket of her jeans. As his last blow straight to Olli's chest, Aleksi glanced over his shoulder just before they walked through the door. The look on Aleksi's face almost made Olli run after them.

What was unreadable to anyone else in the room was an open book to Olli, the story of the two of them written all over it, complete with the triumph of having stolen five minutes from the universe again to just be together and the tragedy of driving back to the hotel holding someone else's hand.

"Love?"

Aleksi blinked at him a few times before turning away again, his hand still in her back pocket.

"Love?"

"Huh?" The familiar voice by his ear brought Olli back to his current reality.

"Should we just leave too? You seem tired."

Olli glanced at his watch. He forgot the time it read the second he spotted the single strand of blond hair that had gotten caught in the bracelet.

He hummed in agreement and the stood up.

He didn't bother removing the hair.

~*~

They caught up with Aleksi and his partner by the hotel elevators. Aleksi's hands were in his pockets again (Olli hated himself for having noticed it).

"The slowest things in the worlds," Aleksi's girlfriend rolled her eyes, and the two women went on to giggle about nothing in particular. Olli's eyes were firmly on Aleksi, Aleksi's on the elevator light.

In the small space of the elevator, Aleksi could no longer avoid Olli's gaze. The look in his eyes was fatigued, regretful for whatever reason (Olli could easily name a dozen), blue but not just in the colour of his irises. It was then Olli had to look away himself, afraid that the weight on his chest might prevent the elevator from lifting the four of them to the 20th floor.

They had rooms next to each other; that was the least they both deserved for their sins. While Olli waited for her girlfriend to find the key card in her handbag, he watched as Aleksi guided his partner inside their room with a gentle hand at the small of her back, like the gentleman he was. That time Olli genuinely believed Aleksi didn't do it torment him; he was just naturally like that.

(Olli wouldn't torment himself more than that, however; he didn't want to know if Aleksi also covered her chest with kisses after sex, or if they ever had entire conversations with their eyes in the morning after. No matter how delusional it was, Olli wanted to comfort himself with the thought that those were something Aleksi only did when they were together.)

It seemed she had been more tired and Olli after all, since not ten minutes after Olli had fingered her until her orgasm had made her whine out loud – loud enough for the next room to hear, Olli hoped – she was already breathing steadily beside him. For Olli, sleep was still a distant desire, as were most of his desires lately.

Or just one of them, to be more truthful. He had exactly one desire, and he was sleeping in the next room.

He checked the time on his iPhone and turned off the vibration. Not that he expected anything, of course.

After two three o'clock, when Olli could finally hear Joonas' and Joel's voices move past their room and disappear down the hall, the screen of his iPhone lighted up.

'Are you awake?' the message read.

Olli responded with a single word.

'Is she still awake too?'

Another single-word answer.

'Meet me outside'

Aleksi was already waiting for him two floors above, in a secluded corner behind a large indoor plant. He was wearing grey pyjama pants and a leather jacket, his bare chest peeking from under it, as if he had been in a haste to leave with no time to look for a shirt.

Aleksi's skin was still warm from the heat it had collected under the duvet, or so Olli pictured in his mind. He left it at that, though; he wasn't in the mood to bully himself by picturing what else he might have done under the duvet.

The overgrown monstera plant offered only seeming privacy for their affair as they ground their bulges against each other until they reached their orgasms, almost knocking the plant over with their struggle to stay on their feet against the wall. Then, as suddenly as they had messed their pants, with the quietness of the hotel corridor around them, a sense of calmness surrounded them for the first time that day. Olli knew it wouldn't last for long, so he treasured the moment the best he could, resting his cheek on Aleksi's chest. Aleksi wrapped his arms around him, and Olli felt as he always did when Aleksi did so: calm and secure.

In those fleeting moments, Olli believed there was a way out for them from the mess they had created.

#nooooooo 😭😭💕#I love this so much but I also wanna cryyyy 😭 babies #’Olli wondered if she could taste what Aleksi had tasted just a moment ago’ 😩😩 I love this hngggg #prev:#i feel like such a terrible person for being so obsessed with his trope gskjgadgkjhgksh apologies for that too 🙈#<- well we’ll be terrible together then I guess because I love LOVE this trope 😭💖#blind channel fanfiction #olliallu

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sparfloxacin · 11 hours

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I’ve been feeling so emotional the whole day 😔 last night was so good and I miss them so much already

#(especially Olli 🤧)#also been thinking about how Olli made two sets of stage clothes for the band and the visuals for the Nokia Arena andandand- 😭😭

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sparfloxacin · 11 hours

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Helloooooo please look at these cuties they’re basically the same person 😩💕

hi spar!!!!!! ohhhh look at those babies that resemble each other more every day 🥺🥺🥺💕💗💘💖💘💖💕

same pose? ✅

hair parted down the middle? ✅

beautiful blue eyes? ✅

chair around the neck? ✅

wearing black? ✅

the most beautiful faces you'll ever see? ✅

same natural hair color? ✅

good titties? ✅

I can't wait to see what's next in Aleksi's ollification 🥰💗💕💘💖💗💕💘💕💗

thank you for the pics!!!!!! have a lovely rest of your Sunday 💖💕💖💘💗💖

#yes yes yessss 😍#sexy fuckers 😩#I can’t believe Aleksi’s ollification is actually happening 🤧#olliallu

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sparfloxacin · 17 hours

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Hellooo would you mind overanalyzing this little video I found with me? 🥺💖

the video in question: https://imgur.com/a/CUi2Q5V (I hope imgur doesn’t fuck up the quality 😩)

so! first we have our lovely boyfriends just standing next to each other and enjoying the DJ set:

then Allu gets closer to Olli (to get his attention??) and turns to chat with Joel

when Olli notices Allu chatting with Joel he decides to strike back and starts flirting chatting with the DJ

so looks like Allu’s attempt to make Olli jealous failed, as this was the final result:

I hope Allu got to teach him a lesson later <3

hope you have a lovely Sunday 💕🥰

hi hellooooo of course I'm down to hyperanalyse anything and everything 🥰

lmao Aleksiiiiiiiiiii that could be you but you playin' 😭 the quality really isn’t the sharpest lol but I can tell Aleksi's looking sour about Olli's hand in the dj's (the WRONG dj's) back skfhsjfjdjd 🤦‍♀️

yes I do hope Aleksi showed him later he's the only dj Olli should get friendly with 🤭

have a nice Sunday yourself!! I'm not sure how to go on with life now with no Nokia Arena gig to look forward to but I guess I gotta 😔

#flirty Olli 😩👌🏻#’overanalyze’? hyperanalyze I mean lol #could you tell I was tired when I wrote the ask hshskk #anyway I really want to find more videos to hyperanalyze and spend the day just doing that <3 #olliallu

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sparfloxacin · 2 days

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I wonder what Aleksi is thinking about here 👀

spar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hiiii hi helloooooo!!!!! 💕💖💘💘💖💕💕💖

well, with the way he's licking his lips and smiling he's probably thinking about the thousand ways he's gonna have a certain bassist (who's practically glued to his side btw) at their shared hotel room or in one of their bunk beds 👀👀

aaaaaaaaaaa i love seeing them like this (especially since we didn't get any crumbs from them this tour 🙄), thank you for the gif 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

have a lovely start of the weekend!!!!! 💖💕💘💕💖💘

#ohhh he’s definitely thinking about wrecking Olli later 😏#(or getting wrecked)#OR he’s secretly freaking out as he has Olli so close to him after a long time <3 #hope you have a lovely weekend as well 🥰#I can’t believe someone missed me I love youuu 🥺💖💕💗#olliallu

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sparfloxacin · 4 days

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sooooo here's a bit of Olli/Allu something I wrote shortly after Emma Gaala 2024. I'm probably gonna regret posting this because 🫣 but I just reeeeeeaally love how this one turned out 💔

[in the bedroom]

The tinkle of her earrings. The clack of her high heels against the laminate flooring. The click of a lipstick case closing. The beep of an incoming message, informing their cab has arrived.

It’s all too loud for Aleksi to handle, deafening in the middle of all that silence. He’d rush out of the house to escape it, but he’s still not wearing any shoes.

He stares at the two pairs by his feet. The other is white, spotless, unused (unloved). The black leather ones Olli once said looked cool.

He chooses the white ones.

ii.

[in the cab]

Sleet on the glass. Streetlights blinding him through the glossy view. The reds and the yellows tinted dark through the black hue of the backseat window. The back of the driver’s headrest becomes blurry, so Aleksi rubs his eyes.

They don’t talk, but that’s nothing new. She’s on her phone or stares out on her side of the car, at her side of the world. Aleksi stares at his own and wonders if hers is as gloomy as his.

Only a small Mercedes, yet the entire Grand Canyon between them. A spacey tour bus, yet Aleksi was always drawn to Olli like a magnet. It’s laughable, and the others do laugh at it, do make fun of them, and Aleksi ignores it, because what else was he supposed to do. Olli laughs along, because of course he does, because he isn’t stuck in the crumbling ruins of a relationship he’s too cowardly to abandon before it collapses on him.

The Mercedes drives away, but the Grand Canyon stays.

iii.

[on the red carpet]

His new shoes soaked from the first puddle on his way to the venue. His tie like a rope around his neck so he rips it off and drops it in the bin by the door. The champagne glass cold against his hand, icy like the look in her eyes before she turns to the cameras.

Olli would’ve hated it, the flashing lights and the empty questions, would have rolled his eyes at them so only Aleksi could see, and then turn back to give the photographers the most stunning picture any of them would take that evening. She hates it too, though she doesn’t mind hiding it, and (selfishly) Aleksi lets her fake it for them both.

Her hand slithering around his arm, although he’s the snake with the way he wants to slither himself free from it, and with the way his mind is poisoned with guilt and disgust, and with the way he almost sinks to the ground when someone wearing Olli’s cologne walks past them.

He was going to need another glass of sparkly wine to get a hold of himself (and to hold something instead of her hand).

iv.

[at the gala]

Joonas’ eyes staring at him from across the table are full of questions Aleksi can’t answer. He’s worried for him, Aleksi knows, but he doesn’t need Joonas’ judgement on top of his own.

“If there’s anything on your mind… you know you can tell me, right?” Joonas said the other day, and Aleksi appreciates the sentiment, but hell would freeze before Aleksi could tell anyone what was on his mind, never mind it’s a one-word answer.

Besides, as long as he leaves it all unsaid, he can still pretend it’s not true. If he keeps quiet, he can still convince himself he’s a good, loving boyfriend who’s not in denial about his feelings for a friend. He says nothing, so nothing ever happened.

He’s confident about it for about three seconds. Three seconds, and then he notices the text message.

You both looked so good on the red carpet

Three seconds from that, and Aleksi’s thoughts are already somewhere else.

∞

[in a hotel room]

Heavy breaths. Warm hands. Eyes as dark and terrified as Aleksi’s own.

His moans. His mouth. His greedy fingers sinking into Aleksi’s hair. Aleksi has no energy, no willpower to stop them.

It happens, and Aleksi lets it happen. It happens, and it’s incredible in all the wrong ways and terrible in all the right ways. It happens, and it’s the best (and worst) thing that ever did happen.

Olli smells of vanilla and hotel room soap. Somehow the scent is strongest in his neck, so that’s where Aleksi buries his nose and leaves the rest of his tired kisses before they fall asleep.

Olli lets him, so Aleksi supposes he’s not much better than him.

[in the bathroom]

He stares at the text until he can’t see it anymore, until it becomes a blur and mixes with everything else in the message thread (pointless pictures and reckless I-miss-yous at three in the morning).

‘You looked so good’, but not as good as you did that night, sweaty and breathless next to me. ‘You looked so good’, but not as good as you did when you climbed over me, pinned me down, sank inside me. ‘You both looked so good’, yes, she’s a goddess and you’re every bit as divine as she is, and I deserve neither of you.

And neither of you deserve me, the lowest scum of the earth for playing with you both like this.

“Ale?”

He can’t stop his breaths coming out in short gasps and choked sobs.

“Ale, is everything okay? Should I get–”

“Don't.”

“Can you unlock the door, then? Please? Aleksi, I’m getting worried here. Have you taken something?”

He’s still sobbing when Joonas walks in. The spikes of Joonas’s jacket are rough against his cheek.

This time, Joonas asks no questions, not even with his eyes. There’s only oh, Aleksi, and I wish you’d just tell me already, but the tone isn’t demanding.

“Tomorrow,” Aleksi promises.

vi.

[outside]

Joonas redoes Aleksi's eyeliner and takes his hand. It’s no longer sleeting outside, but Joonas still wants his umbrella from the cloakroom.

Aleksi reads the text again and squeezes Joonas’ hand.

I wish you were here.

“Okay, let’s go.”

Joonas offers him a cigarette from the packet he made Aleksi fish from his pocket for him. He takes it and remembers Olli’s drunken cigarette kisses on a summer night in Oulu.

I wish you were here.

“Fuck, the wind is cold tonight.”

Aleksi agrees. He listens to Joonas’ nail decorations clink and thinks of Olli’s chain necklace on the bedside table next to his own.

I wish you were here.

“Gonna need another drink to warm up. I hope they’ll have some good whiskey.”

Olli’s lips tasted like whiskey once. Aleksi no longer remembers where it was, only that his own did too the morning after.

I wish you were here.

“Aight. Let’s get back inside?”

Aleksi almost gets too lost in the memory to answer.

“Yeah, I’m right behind you, just… just need another moment.”

Joonas looks at him almost long enough for Aleksi to follow him after all (or perhaps open his mouth and tell him everything right there on the street), but leaves eventually. The second he’s gone, Aleksi opens Olli’s text again.

The wind is blowing right through him, but it’s not enough to stop his fingers from moving along the keyboard.

I wish you were here.

That wasn’t the whole truth, and he knew Olli knew that. Hell, sometimes he felt as if the whole fucking world knew that, probably better than he himself did.

I wish you were here, so that we could snicker at Joonas speaking out of his turn in interviews. I wish you were here, so I could find your hand under the table and intertwine our fingers until someone would walk by and we’d get too scared. I wish you were here, so I could whisper you a joke only we find funny. I wish you were here, so I could take you somewhere no one can see us and bite your neck so that everyone will see it afterwards. I wish you were here, so I could take you anywhere else but here, because I can’t take you home with me.

I wish I could take you home with me.

I wish you were her.

#got to read this a while ago and have to read it again because it’s so gooodd 😭💞#angsty olli/allu 💔#olliallu #blind channel fanfiction

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sparfloxacin · 5 days

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Hi friend 🤗🖤, I hope you have/will have/had a nice Tuesday. *hands you a 🌻

Hellooo 💗 sorry I see this very late as it’s already Wednesday but thank you so much! hope you have a lovely Wednesday 🥰

#answered

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sparfloxacin · 5 days

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the terrible infidelity AU is back, this time with a synopsis, because this one was born from a very specific need:

Aleksi accidentally steals Olli's t-shirt and proceeds to pleasure himself while wearing it, thinking of Olli.

Aleksi never thought he'd stoop so low.

He wasn't sure how Olli's t-shirt had ended up in his suitcase. It was black like all of his own clothes, like all of their clothes were, so who could really judge him for making such an easy mistake.

Aleksi could remember holding it in his hands when they had been doing the traditional, panic-induced last-minute packing before having to give up the rental tour bus. His head was instantly filled with memories of Olli wearing the shirt just the other night when he had, at three in the morning, climbed into Aleksi's bunk and buried his head in the crook of Aleksi's neck, which was something he did from time to time when he woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't fall back to sleep again. Olli's explanations varied from 'Porko is snoring' to 'it's too cold' to 'just couldn't', and Aleksi never stopped him when he pressed against him in the small space they shared.

He hadn't stopped Olli that night either, when Olli had claimed to be homesick and asked Aleksi to do something about it. Aleksi simply hadn't been able to find a way to say no, not when Olli's widened pupils had been looking up at him and he could feel Olli's semi hard-on through his boxers.

Still. An easy mistake to make.

~*~

He wasn't sure how Olli's t-shirt had replaced the one he had been wearing, so that now he was sitting on the couch of his home studio, wrapped in the smell of Olli instead of the flowery scent of the fabric softener she had told him to buy when he had gone out the night before to buy more coffee grounds. Aleksi supposed he could blame it on the tiredness doing tricks on his brain and making him act out of his will.

Running his palm over the worn fabric and the crusty band logo, he thought about how he had done exactly that when Olli had been wearing that shirt, his and Olli's rock-hard cocks inside Olli's fist. He swallowed as he recalled Olli chasing his lips for a kiss they shouldn't share and clutched the hem of the shirt near his lower stomach when he relived the moment of his orgasm, grasping anything his hands could find to help him contain himself in a tour bus full of his sleeping friends and coworkers.

He glanced down on himself and saw the front of his sweatpants bulging.

Yeah. Just the tiredness.

~*~

He wasn't sure when his hand had slid inside his boxers, but there he was: stroking himself while the smell of Olli surrounded him.

For that, he couldn't even bother making up an excuse. That was just him being weak.

It drove him crazy with lust, as it had back in the tour bus bunk, with Olli right there next to him for him to touch and taste and breathe in. He had done exactly that, relentlessly, fondling Olli over his shirt and under it and below it, wanting him closer, needing him with every living cell Aleksi had in himself. He wrapped his fingers around his erection and closed his eyes to block out the studio and the footsteps from above, to imagine it was Olli who was touching him, like he had done that night. A sigh left his lungs as he squeezed his cock, a sigh which turned into a whine when he remembered how heavenly Olli's warm, slick palm had felt.

Olli's movements had been rapid and rough, so Aleksi's were too, his hand moving up and down his length with a desperate speed. Olli had sneaked a hand under Aleksi's shirt to massage his chest and belly, so Aleksi did too, his own hand following the same path Olli's had, because he swore he could still memorize every single twist and turn of Olli's fingers. He whimpered out loud again, frustrated at his own touch not feeling half as good as Olli's, defeated because even from miles away, from his home in Oulu, Olli still had a hold of his heart as well as of his cock.

Not long before reaching his climax, Aleksi finally allowed himself to summon the memory of Olli repeating Aleksi's name over and over again in a whisper that got muffled somewhere in between Aleksi's lips before he ejaculated. The feeling of Olli's warm cum dribbling between their cocks had been enough to bliss out as well and Aleksi had followed almost immediately after, his hand groping Olli's backside aimlessly and his heart being swallowed up by Olli, throbbing wildly like both their cocks inside Olli's fist, slowly jerking them through their orgasms. Even without Olli's seed covering his cock this time, Aleksi came as intensely as he had then, some of the spurts of white landing on the shirt he was wearing.

The footsteps from above had silenced. Aleksi could only hope he hadn't been too loud.

His eyes burned when it hit him what he had done.

He really was so weak.

~*~

Aleksi wasn't sure how the shirt had ended up in her hands, now wet and wrinkled and flower-smelling. He had probably forgotten it in the bottom of the laundry basket where he had hidden it in his guilt-crippled panic.

"Since when have you had an AC/DC shirt?"

He could've told her it was Olli's. That he had packed it in his suitcase by mistake and was meaning to give it back to him next week when he'd come over for preparations for yet another tour. That he thought the least he could do to make up accidentally stealing Olli's favourite shirt was to at least wash it before returning it.

He should have told her the truth.

"A fan gift," he said instead.

~*~

Aleksi wasn't sure when he had become so attached to the shirt, to the point he felt weirdly mournful handing it back to Olli.

That was even though he had barely touched it since it had come out of the laundry machine. It didn't smell of Olli anymore.

"Wait, you had this all this time?"

"Yeah, sorry 'bout it." Aleksi's cheeks were as if on fire. Although the shirt no longer looked as nasty as it had with Aleksi's cum staining it, the sight of it was still imprinted on his retinas.

"I've been looking for this everywhere! Haven't seen it since... since, umm..."

What was left of Aleksi's heart stopped beating then.

Had Olli been thinking about it too, the night they had shared with Olli wearing that exact shirt? Had it been driving him insane as well, the memory of their cocks rubbing together, of their mouths searching for each other?

Had Olli, too, when making love to his partner, been imagining it was Aleksi in her stead?

Olli cleared his throat, eyes fixed on the neatly folded shirt in his hands. "Anyway. Thanks."

Have you? I need you to tell me you have. I need you to need me the way I need you.

I need you.

"Yeah, anytime."

#aaaaaaaa 😭😭😭#so hot yet so soft I love this so muchhhh #also would love to hear more about ’the night’ 👀#olliallu #blind channel fanfiction

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