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earl-grey-orange-tabby · 3 months

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my aftg fan cast

disclaimers:

a lot of these, especially in the next part, aren’t actors, so this is less a fancast and more of a “i have a horrible imagination and need to visualize characters so they feel more real to me” list

if they don’t look like what you picture, agree to disagree! i love seeing other ppl’s perspectives of what the characters look like and i hope you do too

without further ado,

neil josten - benjamin wadsworth

okay listen just because i picked the most used neil fancast DOES NOT MEAN THE REST OF THIS LIST IS BORING!!! he’s just so neil-coded to me in deadly class! i even put him into a photo editing app to change his hair and eye color and he still fits!!! plus the top right pic is exactly how i imagine a nathaniel smile.

andrew/aaron minyard - vlad konoplev

i’m gonna give credit to @kalu_aftg on tiktok for this, because i saw this actor in their tik tok. he’s in a russian series called my biggest secret (i watched a couple clips but i haven’t seen the show)

but come on!!!! this is andrew minyard!!!! and always with andrew fancasts it’s difficult to see them as aaron but i feel like this could go both ways, especially in the bottom right pic. identical, but different vibes, yk?

dan wilds - kiersey clemons

i first saw kiersey clemons in new girl as kc and she feels so dan! then i saw the pic on the top left and i was like YES! this. is. dan. she seems very sweet and friendly but i know she could give a great game face.

nicky hemmick - conor husting

even his pics give off major nicky vibes. he also has a very similar hair length to what i picture nicky with. fun fact: he’s also half-mexican on his mother’s side which is strangely accurate lol!!

allison reynolds - jessica lord

i’m gonna be honest i just searched up “blond actresses 20’s” and that top left photo popped up and it was just so so so allison!! i included a couple pics of her in the ballet movie “find me in paris” because i couldn’t find a lot of pics of any of these actors in active wear and this felt close enough.

kevin day - nicholas galitzine

honestly i got this idea from an instagram live he did where he was yelling about being 6 foot and my brain was like “that is kevin day IN THE FLESH”. i originally saw him in bottoms and he totally cracked me up.

matt boyd - daniel ezra

like come on!!! his smile is so bright and inviting, it gives off such strong matt energy. he played spencer james in all-american and i haven’t watched it but ive seen ppl say good things. bonus: he’s the only one i could find with any form of a face guard (even tho nick galitzine also played a football player in bottoms lol)

renee walker - sydney park & lana condor

okay SO my criteria was soft-looking people that can look sharp in other pictures, and i came up with these two! it’s kinda hard to picture renee without the pastel/white hair but let’s suspend disbelief.

seth gordon - young david beckham

speaking of suspending disbelief, LMAOO. just hear me out, okay. seth was a fifth year, slightly older than the rest of them, so i was looking for that + blond buzz cut and this is the result!

and that’s all! i have more so i’ll probably make a part two, but im having trouble finding a nathan because it’s so hard NOT to picture nathan as a redhead but that means he probably won’t look like benjamin wadsworth.

#aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #neil josten #dan wilds #matt boyd #renee walker #seth gordon #kevin day #allison reynolds #nicky hemmick #foxhole court #fancast

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treestomeetyou · 9 months

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I have a very similar experience. I obviously get wanting to look at the positives, but I also think it's important to understand the full picture. A lot of the talk I've seen online surrounding autism has made me realize that people don't really know just how shitty it can be sometimes.

Autistic people aren't just "a little quirky". In fact, some of the most talked about symptoms were the least of my concerns growing up. My emotional maturity has always been...not great. I struggled with anger and I had outbursts so bad that I would sometimes end up getting in fights or breaking things. And I had these all the way up until I was in high school. I thankfully had therapy and it's not as bad as it used to be, but my issues will never be completely gone. I've also had sleep problems my whole life and I don't really have the ability to be in certain high stress situations. That takes a lot of things off the table that I otherwise would have loved to do. I also can sometimes shut down when I get overwhelmed which is similar to a depressive episode (something I also have and experience) and depression is often a symptom autistic people experience but for me it was a seperate diagnosis. There are also people who have it worse and may never be able to live on their own, and who have problems that are even more serious and it feels like we're just...not allowed to talk about that. I have been called ableist more times than I can count by people who didn't realize I was autistic, just for trying to talk about these things, or for saying that I wouldn't wish this on anyone else.

A lot of people seem to think it's a fun thing to have and that's just not the case. It sucks. I wish people would understand that there's a difference between hating myself for being autistic (which I don't, I'm actually very upfront about it) and wishing that I didn't have certain symptoms. I'm not "masking" because I don't want to get angry and yell at my friends and family every two seconds! I did everything I could to get past that because it was the right thing to do for the sake of the other people in my life. I was bullied in school as a kid (mostly for the anger stuff) but as an adult I have experienced more shaming from within the autistic community than I have from outside of it. I should be able to talk about both the positive and the negative side of autism. There's normalization, and then there's presenting an idealized fantasy version of autism that rarely ever actually exists. (I also wish people would do actual research instead of just...basing their views of autism on a tik tok they saw somewhere, but that's a whooooole other conversation lmao)

Sorry, I didn't mean for this to get so long. I'm just very passionate about this. I hope you have a good day. ✨️

never apologize for making it so long it’s nice to hear from other people. i feel like autism on tiktok is just some kind of new age manic pixie dream girl. like she’s quirky and she has funny little habits but it’s “breaks the fantasy” when she has issues that can make her unpleasant to be around.

i always joke that i don’t drink a lot because i’m kind of a bitch when i drink, but it’s just sensory overload that makes me a deeply unpleasant person. i don’t want to be like that, i put in a lot of work to not be like that. but that work takes a lot out of me and i resent that. i agree with you that i wouldn’t change myself, i’m autistic and that’s an unchangeable part of me. but it’s so hard to make people understand that it’s a still a disability. that there are things i can’t do. i will require certain supports my whole life. the toxic positivity around autism (and neurodivergent people in general) online gets on my nerves. i can love myself and find positives in myself while still being upset about how i struggle

#ask box #actually autistic #autism

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housefashionblog24 · 2 months

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clocks

Recently, was watching a video tour of one of those Russian grocery stores at shopping mall, and I noticed part of the name had the letters "TOK" and it sounded the same as saying "TOK" with English alphabet. I don't know the sound of all the Russian letters, so I can't quite read in Russia.

I saw something with the word "TIK" recently too, I don't know what it was about was it some Asian thing. Who is TIK? Who is TOK? TIKTOK is of course an app, but it is the sound a clock makes. I think about how can I keep track of time or scheduling techniques, where do clocks come from. I always suspected there was something about cuckoo clocks, but there must be some danger and violence of history. I have many questions and ideas about timing but no way to answer.

I also watched video tours of historic Philadelphia recently, including the Liberty Bell. I don't remember what it was for, but I'm mystified by the crack in it and then everybody took a piece of it when it went on tour in the 1800's or something like that. Maybe it was used for important meetings in the government history. There are bells or alert sounds to do things with groups like an old fashioned dinner bell (homestead alert not Pavlov's dog), or school class start and dismissal, or prayer time for some religious communities. Does the old Taco Bell logo have a bell that looks like the Liberty Bell or what is that for?

This morning, I was watching a video of a young mom's thrift shop haul, and she had a couple of clocks, decorative analog styles for a mantle or tabletop, one reminded me of something my brother made in his middle school wood shop class. I thought about getting the clock parts to make anything into a clock for a DIY, LOL.

Now I'm watching a shopping video at Burlington. Of course they show a style of Juicy watch similar to what I was interested in when I went through a time when I wanted Juicy Couture clothing and accessories from the brand's website or an upscale fashion online retailer I shopped at frequently, I didn't check for those things in person at the department stores or discount department stores because of practical lifestyle reasons (too busy or far away) but also because my attained status of graduate student required making up some of my own rules, and I thought the more expensive things from the premium stores and brands and department stores would make me more recognizable as a successful person. Why did I trust the sources I used? Because of the tech scene, I am using high tech and want a career to evolve from my engineering educational background. And I want to keep on learning and becoming a better person. I need to justify my plastic surgery, on the inside.

So I have been thinking about clocks, and now there is that style of Juicy couture watch in the video at the Burlington. It has blue gemstones around the face and it is silver tone, but I remember the gold tone with rainbow gemstones on the Juicy Couture back in the day. It cost hundreds of dollars or something, so I didn't get it, but it was so cool. Recently, I was browsing shopping marketplace and there was a similar style no name brand price for less than one hour minimum wage, it wasn't as good quality and the name on it was unknown and random brand name.

I think about my interview at Goodwill recently. They asked if I knew the difference between like name brands and cheap stuff. Probably because I have gotten cheap things and donated to them in the past. Want me to buy something nice and get robbed by tweakers? Want to get me high on some other stuff so I can feel sorry for people easier and give away designer stuff or feel bad about the past and just put it in a dumpster or free stuff pile on a whim then watch out the window and see a street drug addict girl pick up that Juicy jacket and walk away? Different programs apples and oranges! I'm not trying to do anything important anymore, I'm not in with any groups so there isn't anything worth investing more into besides what I can use alone by myself and then just don't leave the house very often because I don't know what I'm doing. Sometimes that means there are things as seen on social media or advertising that were donated to Goodwill, the brand name was not as important for the excitement.

Earlier today, I found out that a previous employer for one of my undergrad internships was looking at my LinkedIn. I don't have my internship there on my LinkedIn, I wasn't looking for related work when I signed up for a LinkedIn profile. When I worked there, I was coming out of a drinking problem that consumed my life for many years, and I spent a lot of time shopping on the Forever 21 website when I worked there. Everything was work appropriate for casual corporate tech office, but some fun colors and prints. Someone who has no idea who would wear something like this besides a youthful, budget and quality minded Forever 21 customer. I just thought it was cool stuff for the location where I was, and I was excited to try the new styles as I began a truly changed life. However, I don't know what I would wear for that job, or any job working for that company now. It's just like my recent Goodwill job interview- no makeup, baggy jeans and whatever boring enough clean shirt I could find, I brushed my hair that is down to my waist. Inspire me, give me more, give me something to do if you want more than however it is, just the way I am now. Recently, I haven't been able to come up with my own bad ideas to go for it with anything, and the opportunities don't seem like much more than bad ideas lately.

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carinyms · 3 years

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We're three days from the Loki finale and I’m back to spout more meta and theories about episodes 5 & 6! It’s a long one (again.)

I really enjoyed episode five. People have complained that they felt it didn't do much to move the show forward, but one of the things I've loved most about this show is the time it takes to sit with the characters and learn about their backstory, their feelings. (I'm always a little bugged when critics say that an episode hasn't done enough to move the plot forward, because without adequate character development, why should I care about the plot?) I thought the pacing of it was really well balanced.

….and I have never been so nervous for a finale in my entire life. There’s a lot of reasons.

The first is just the fact that I’ve been waiting for this show for a whole year, and the anticipation and excitement of it literally helped get me through the pandemic--so when those final end credits roll I’m going to be a whole mess no matter what happens. (I really hope the rumors floating around about season two are accurate) I also just feel like it’s somewhat inevitable that this is our final farewell to Tom’s Loki, and like—I’ll never be ready, but especially right now, amidst all the rampant controversy around this show, I’m just not ready to deal with that. I have a *small* modicum of hope that this won't be the case, but it feels unlikely. Anyway, guess I’ll die.

I really want this show to stick the landing, so to say. I loved the last episode, but a lot of the response has been that it felt like a lull in the plot. I want this show to end in a satisfying bang so it can get the credit it deserves.

Also I’m a whole hypocrite eating my words from last week—I’m fully on-board with Loki/Sylvie now (not that I was ever really against it)--I’m not sure why I’m surprised. They’re so adorable and wholesome, and I’m in love with seeing Loki in love. It’s so precious. (Just as a PSA, if you’re not into them that’s chill, and you’re allowed to dislike a ship without trying to justify your opinion by labeling shippers as morally problematic. Selfcest isn’t a real thing, therefore there isn’t a moral high ground to stand on here. Okay? Okay.) Wherever it ultimately leads, their relationship is still a really sweet exploration of them both growing and learning how to love themselves and trust others. Also, them cuddling under a tablecloth is the cutest shit I’ve ever seen with my two eyes.

MY THEORIES:

I love Sylvie so much, SO MUCH — and she is 100% going to stab Loki in the back by the end of the next episode. I don’t think the betrayal is going to stick, and by the end they’ll both be on the same page again, but the conversations on trust have been way too one-sided for my comfort. If nothing else she's going to seriously consider it. Here’s one way I can see that going. Spoiler alert: it hurts.

Sylvie betrays Loki at one point—and we see Loki’s growth and arc come full circle as, even after being betrayed by the person he hinged his entire development around, he still believes in doing the right thing, in saving her regardless. It ends in a heart-wrenching self-sacrifice of some kind, and his actions serve as the catalyst for her full development as well. We keep seeing different versions of Loki die for their ‘glorious purpose’, just like how Classic Loki shouts the phrase as he was consumed by Aloith (RIP King, I love you).

Loki has already called Sylvie his glorious purpose (or inferred it). There’s been backlash around him saying that, but the way I see it, it’s less “I’m obsessed with this girl she’s my purpose now” and more “I believe that she’s the best version of us and I’m going to make it my purpose to help her succeed and be what the rest of us aren’t”. That’s why seeing all the other variant Loki’s at their worst in the Loki clubhouse (? what do I call this lol) only fuels him more to find her. I think about what Mobius told him: “You exist to cause pain and suffering and death, all so others can achieve the best versions of themselves”. I don’t think Loki truly believes he can be the best version of Loki — I think he saw Sylvie and thought, "it's her". He’s decided he’s going to help her achieve the best version of herself, but he'll do it giving her love and trust and devotion, rather than through betrayal, pain and suffering. He’s re-writing his pre-determined role, in his own small way. I’m so proud of him.

So who’s behind it all and what’s truly going on here? (This isn’t really one theory, more like a string of possibilities and I don’t really know how they’d fit together.)

I still think it’s another version of Loki. And if it is, I can’t help but appreciate the connections between his position dictating the end of time in the show in relation to Loki’s role in the Norse myths, where he’s the catalyst for the destruction of all things. It feels relevant, considering the whole idea that ‘the end of time hasn’t been written yet’ has come up twice now. That would be a fascinating tie-in to the mythology. (Also—Alioth looks like a giant dog. And Fenrir’s role in Ragnarok was devouring the world—I realize this is a reach but am I the only person seeing this connection?) The thing I really can’t predict is the motivation. What would cause a Loki to want to prevent Loki’s from changing? Was there something that happened in the sacred timeline this Loki is trying to preserve? (I also like the idea of us maybe seeing another version of Sylvie behind it all, but I’m just going to leave that rabbit hole alone. )

But here’s the theory I can’t stop thinking about. There’s a theory floating around tik tok (by user twelvepercentcredit) saying the ‘castle’ we see beyond Alioth looks like a place called the House of Ideas, something that appeared in a (discontinued?) Loki comic. Here’s the wiki page on it. Just looking at the imagery of this compared to the location we’re seeing in the trailers, it’s too similar to be a coincidence. The huge bookshelves, the towering ceilings.

Here’s a description from the wiki:

“The House of Ideas is also home to a library which archives the exploits of every hero who has ever existed in the form of books, written unconsciously by the collective minds of their believers. This collection is curated by Now and Then, two of the children of Eternity. Now and Then routinely seek out heroes to bring into the House of Ideas to bargain with them and give their collections more pages, therefore more time for adventures and exploits. “

And later on the page on how Loki ties in:

“Heeding the desire in Loki's heart to do more with his life, Now and Then approached Loki and brought him to the House of Ideas,[5] where they struck up with him the deal to give more pages to his collection of exploits, rewriting the Books of Loki with a hero's stories in exchange for an eventual hero's death.”

Are they gonna play with the exact happenings of this? I don't know, but it sounds pretty cool!

It would be gutsy to go this route with the show given how meta it is, but I love the idea of it. Would they put characters that embody the abstract ideas of “Eternity” “Now & Then” into the show in the last episode? I’m not sure. Something I could see as a possibility though is an alternate version of Loki having overthrown whoever was previously guarding the timeline, and Loki and Sylvie will have to take them down in turn, thus ‘releasing’ the multiverse to its default, chaotic state.

What if our Loki’s ultimate destiny, ultimate Glorious Purpose, is to release the timelines--restoring all the variants back to their original timelines--and remain in this place for eternity, guarding the timeline and ensuring the multiverse is allowed to exist in its natural state? It seems a pretty fitting role for the God of Chaos. It would also explain why whoever’s behind the TVA would be so desperate to eliminate all variant Loki, if that was his ultimate destiny.

It would be an effective way to remove Hiddleston’s Loki from the movie-verse without killing him, AND place both Sylvie and any other Loki variants back in the the main timeline for use in future films—which we know has to happen somehow, because Young Avengers is definitely happening, and Kid Loki has got to get out of the void somehow.

And yea, this outcome would hurt like a bitch. Because even though that would truly be a lovely glorious purpose for our Loki, he’d be alone. And the whole point of this show is that he doesn’t have to be alone! It would be a very poetic sacrifice for him to take on the burden of watching over the timelines alone for all eternity so that his other variants could be the best versions of themselves, but I really just want him to be happy. I will be crying my eyes out if this happens. I’ll be proud but I won’t be okay.

And this all is probably speculative nonsense and could go off in an entirely different direction. Who knows. All in all, I just really want to see Loki fully believe in himself and his ability, to truly absorb what he said about being stronger than he realizes, and to take control of his destiny.

WHAT I WANT (NEED) FROM EPISODE 6:

Let Hunter B-15 and Mobius team up to burn the place to the ground. She was nerfed in the time-keeper fight, I want to see B-15 kick some ass.

I kind of want Ravonna to escape and be a character that carries over into the films for her tie-ins with Kang? I want to see more of her.

Give Loki a new badass costume. I’m begging. If he’s gonna go down, he deserves to go down in something other than khakis.

And then I want to see him and Sylvie fighting side by side in matching outfits.

I want a Mobius-level hug between them. Or a kiss. Or both. But I want the hug more. And you know what? I want her to initiate the hug or kiss or whatever it is because I want Loki to experience receiving love and affection from others as much as giving it. He deserves it ok??

I expect Mobius on a jet ski in the post credits and if I don’t get it I riot

@marvel these are my demands.

As always, if you've made it this far I'd love to hear your thoughts!

#these just keep getting longer and longer #next week you can expect a full novel #loki #loki show #loki series #loki meta #loki show meta #loki series meta #loki theories #loki show theories #loki show positive #loki spoilers #loki series spoilers

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sunritual · 3 years

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Robots don’t need to be sentient to destroy us.

Navy mock neck long sleeves big orange and little white stripe on tube cage sides

A veritcal line stretch waistband

Cross cross and straps back

Square high neck

Scarlet polka dots around can light blue text and beach image as front

Blue stroke red inside square, blue triangle rainbow with eye and funky font

Y either know a particular topic or not , but it’s hard to pin down intelligence on one category

Cream background , ice cream pink script name kinda bev hills hotel script looking ish

Move your mouth in a differ way

Supersonic vibrating butt cleaner

Half magenta half red violet a blue teacup in the center with white floral frills thick serif font

Pink background am orange flower in a vase white present ribbon n red as a table

An app that familiarizes people with science - through experimental learning ― hands on experiences that make it seem less top down and authoritarian , and more like a set of steps that we take, things that anyone can do to get closer with nature and the world

A social media philosophy app - teaches what others said and gives people a chance to express their views , postulate, argue, etc gadfly? How would be avoid a shit show, how can we make social media more humanitarian. how can we care about people while also expressing deeply held ideas , how can we encourage users to examine their deeply held ideas without alienating them. How can we discourage hatred and abuse and groupthink with design? How do we slow people down and encourage them to recognize the human behind the screen. Street epistemology? Socratic dialogue?

Socrates - asking questions. Breaking it down to bits. Deeply understanding their argument. Asking about different possibilities and circumstances. Take vast assumptions and show scenarios that make go against them.

Build fact checking into apps

Narrative self vs experiential

Walks you through steps of the sciefitifc method and encourages you to explain how you feel each step actually helped you- then walks you through a scientist doing the same for their reasarch

Republicans only want to be free in the specific ways that benefit corporations

Are Christians more willing to support the death pen early because they already believe in the cruel and overstepping punishment of hell?

Where did the idea come from that you need to remain impartial when trying to persuade

The idea that there is someone in a similar but different dwelling, hearing similar but different sounds and feeling similar but different feelings is wild

We synthesize sets of traits, and particular actions in a super biased culturally constructed way

With the way we see things as humans- we categorize things into groups that aren’t really reaaal ― paratheletic groups

I just want the people and jobs that benefit society

Connection to nietzsches Dionysian art and eckheart tolle/Taoism

No matter your personality, there is probably a part of the world that you would fit in with naturally.

An ordinary girl is selected as one of the representatives of earth in the first meeting of various alien species after one advanced planet discovered and United 10. Confused as to why she was chosen, she goes on her journey meeting

Wha ba Bada da da da da dada he’s a wha ba ba dadada as a matter of fact it’s not my fault if you came up here thinking that you would win

Wanting to break boundaries and rules for the sake those who are hurt by the rules

You are imagining the best case scenario of the life you want to have and experience Ming the reality of the life you so have.

Yes her drips cosmetics line to students i. Class

Chez it people can goldfish people

Your personality flows where a system needs it to go to maintain balance

Ah you fucking saw a tik Tok about that didn’t you

Coincidence and intention are two sides of a tapestry, my lord. You may find one more agreeable to look at, but you cannot say one is true and the other is false.””

Clay busts with abstract art and philosophical musings (throws up)

Do a sketch a day

What if someone ran for president as an impression of a famous person

Full stemmed flowers, wiggly text creeping behind

Balloons of various sizes and cooors holding people and things

Kelly green cream hot pink black

Green outline one pink air brush cream background black marks

Emdr applebees , bat mitzvah toasts Amitals bat mitzvah , Fiona - i like her better just kidding ,

We tend to learn words by synonyms and not definitions

A bully who takes a kids lunch money everyday all through out high school and secretly puts it in a Roth IRA and presents it to them at graduation

Set up drum set

When it comes to something we have no knowledge of or evidence or proof being certain is the most illogical thing you can be

Getting a degree in philosophy is the not going to college of going to college

It ain’t what they call you it’s what you answer to

You don’t just get to jump from bright moment to bright moment - part of the job is the frustrating ones and the climb to get to be actually good. It’s gonna be bad in the beginning but it’s a measure of how dedicated you are to your craft. Frustration is the process.

You have to decide whit shit sandwjicj you prefer - everything is gonna suck some of the time but if you pick your dream you’ll have those bright moments and at least that shit sammie will be worth it - the bad parts of job you have no interest in don’t add up to anything. If you love what you do you will accept the downsides.

People are like tape. Going through the world collecting bits and pieces of things but none of those things are really them . We can identi ft with them and create with them but we can also escape from them.

I wonder what all these people think about being alive

Curiosity makes everything play. It invites exploration. It makes me see opportunities everywhere makes everything new

Bias to action. Try things. Get your hands dirty, fail Fortean and find what works. Remaining nimble and constantly rethinking

Reframe the problem. Step back, re-examine the problem, examine biases and be open to new solutions

Clay matches clay fire

The differences and similarities between us

Looking back, historical events seem bound to happen, but a few small events could’ve stopped them. Thinking diffently.

“They became revolutionaries despite themselves”

Artists way workbook design

I’m at Eton having to walk around to quell the feeling of being so exited about the future and my possibilities and so sure of success and beauty and magic and love and adventure. I’m going to make beautiful pictures I’m going. To tear down the status quo I’m going g to make people feel like they have on antigravity. I’m so a part of it i made it. I’m a muse I’m it omg I’m so exited - listening to John Denver

Joy is just a thing that he was raised on love is just a way to live and die.

The only thing that made Abe Lincoln Abe Lincoln (tm) was doing what Abe Lincoln (tm) did. The actions that he took made him a hero in history. There was nothing i ate in him that made his great, his actions did. Whatever help inate qualities may have gave him in terms of doing the actions that made him what he was could be negated by pma and doing the damn work to get yourself to where you need to be. Believing it so makes you inclined to take the actions that improve your skills and get to to the point where you can do the things it takes to be who you want to be.

Little vases

I feel like we’ve become addicted to finding things wrong with what people say. Silence the critic. It’s fine. Most people have the best intentions. It’s not that serious. The group you are offended for likely aren’t mad anyway. There is way more you can do - they don’t care about picking the right term

I wanted a very simple menu that could maximize customization options in The shortest amount of time possible for a very fast paced food truck. The system allows the customers to design their own grilled cheese sandwich but ideally would save time by not requiring each guest to decide which cheese and which bread from a long line of choices.

I feel I’m so afraid of being dunning Krueger that i tell myself i am terrible at everything no matter what i actually think about my abilities. You can just say your a beginner you don’t have to say you suck. Plus thinking you suck doesn’t make you any better, honestly worse. You don’t have to rate your abilities just focus on the future, make sure your doing baby steps and make sure they are the right baby steps

Chives ward off insects

Loving thebsunlightttttyt!!

I don’t think music is really something that needs to be critiqued for me ― it’s more about feeling it’s about magic and truth and light or darkness. Getting whatever needs to be out out. it all serves a purpose and is for an audience , if your not in that audience then there’s no need to comment

I have to is weird backwards idea that it’s Nobel to be like you know what I’m not good at this imma bow out. But that is so wrong you have to struggle through it. Pike how i feel like my thoughts are more concise then my writing. There’s no glory in not trying to improve that. You have to awkawardly write until you can beautifully write.

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chwrpg · 3 years

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KENYA STRATFORD. college junior; twenty. khadijha red thunder. TAKEN.

and, as kat stratford once said:

“What is it, Asshole Day?”

BEFORE THE PARTY;

If you hear people around Rosewood talking about a bitter, self-righteous hag, they are almost for certain referring to one, Kenya Stratford. The stunning brunette simply didn’t care to conform to the standards set by the crowd of sample size-white or white passing-cisgendered “elite” class that’d been put in a position to rule over the town. She had opinions and she’s going to make sure everyone knew what they were. Regardless of who it offended and because of that, she wasn’t often referred to all that greatly.

People very easily wrote Kenya off as just another raging hardcore feminist. And to that, she’d like to let them know to include the word ‘intersectional’ when referring to her as Kenya took pride in the fact that she cared for all women. Regardless of race, age, sexual orientation or gender identity. Kenya could often be found the grassy knolls of the Ravenwood quad, her head in actual paper back books such as ‘To My Trans Sisters’ or ‘Revolting Prostitutes’ opposed to her eyes glued to her iPhone XS; geeking out to whatever brain-cell melting Cosmo article posted on their instagram story that week.

Now, Kenya didn’t mean to make herself come off like one of those girls, you know the type. The ‘I’m not like most girls’ types, a trope she finds herself rolling her eyes at quite often. Kenya simply was interested in things that most around her simply didn’t care for, but that didn’t stop her from attempting to educate those around her.

From trying to open the eyes of her fellow women to simply want more for themselves. To not accept.

Often she’d find herself overhearing conversations from her classmates where they speak on not being able to reach climax from their partners or being passed over for their male contemporaries for positions of leadership, all things that she simply deemed unacceptable in today’s day and age. Because of that reason, she started Ravenwood’s ‘Women’s Collective’. A group for women by women, a group that’s not meant to judge— yes, she completely means that, even if she might not always show it— a group meant to empower. While their numbers might not be as big, they are mighty in their reach.

A massive part of the Women’s Collective was their online presence, allowing the women of Rosewood to send in their comments, grievances and/or questions in complete anonymity. Given that feature, Kenya has gotten to understand that underneath all the bullshit that often puts women in different “categories”... they had problems that were very similar and Kenya was happy to help her fellow sister out in whatever way possible.

She was more than happy let her fellow woman to expect more from the unwashed miscreants or preppy assholes that reigned supreme in Ravenwood. Kenya knew most men referred to her as a heinous bitch, but quite honestly— she wore that reputation with honor and pride. At this point, she’d put love in the back burner— having to kick Bobby Ridgeway’s balls so far up his body, he tasted them being the straw that broke the proverbial camels back. She was just ready to get her degree in Women’s studies and travel the world, away from the uptight elitist assholes she’s had to live with her entire life.

Her father— well he had other hopes and dreams for her future. He wanted her to go off to a great law school ( preferably in the area ) and it wasn’t like Kenya didn’t have the grades for it, but she didn’t want that future for herself. She wanted to live her life, even if it meant going far away. Far, far, far away.

Kenya knew her father was going to be highly disappointed, mostly due to the fact he’d miss her. But going away to see the world and hopefully empower and aid women in need, that was her calling.

Since her mother left the family back when she was a high school freshmen, her father had become highly protective of the girls. He would come up with bizarre stipulations such as like neither sister could date unless the other one was dating, or he’d make them walk around with a pregnancy bodysuit before social gatherings so they’d remember that their actions had consequences— one which she had problems with given it took two to tango. But to say he was over-protective was an understatement.

It didn’t come without reason though, because when Kenya’s mother ran off with her fitness instructor, she’d changed. She turned into someone she wasn’t quite proud of, someone who was concerned herself with her outward appearance and keeping up with what others thought of her. Because of those pressures, she found herself dabbling with alcohol and drugs— she was now happily sober and proud of it but the person she’d been, it wasn’t someone she ever wanted to become again.

But unfortunately, she wasn’t the one exhibiting those behaviors nowadays. She saw those traits begin to manifest in her younger sister, Birdie and she’d be damned if she stood by without providing her sister some guidance during these times. Whether she liked it or not.

DURING THE PARTY;

Kenya kept reminding herself, she’d done this solely for her sister. To allow her a night out without their father being the worry wart that he was. With Kenya at the same event, he knew that she’d keep her out of trouble. That was the only reason why she was there, putting up with the terrible music straight off of a Tik Tok playlist and the terrible people— who couldn’t stop gawking in her direction.

Like, yeah, she was at a party. Get over it.

But then she caught sight of him. Her “date” to that evenings festivities. Pete Verona. Now, how had they ended up on a date? Well, he’d sort of made himself unavoidable and while that’d typical result to a kick to the balls... he hadn’t made it exactly unbearable. So she agreed to go on said “date” with him, solely for the sake of being at the party... for the sake of keeping an eye on her sister. It wasn’t because she found him cute or anything of the sort. Puh-lease. She would give him points for not being a total dick thus far and he’d been gracious enough to get drinks for the two of them, so maybe he’d get another one... depending on how well he knew how to mix a drink.

As she took in the stupidity of her classmates— they were currently debating which seltzer was better? Truly or White Claw, she found herself in the company of the one person she didn’t want to see that evening. Joey Donner. A massive mistake of her past, one that she just couldn’t shake off no matter how badly she tried. The mere sight of him enraged him, pair that with that disgusting personality... it took everything in her not to punch him then and there. Now usually, she was able to shake off his comments but tonight, he decided to remind her of that awful mistake. And no matter how much she liked to think she was over what’d happened between them, she found his words replaying in her head as he made his way off to hang out with the rest of the Rosewood assholes.

And how about her? Kenya found a bottle of vodka she intended on downing to quiet down those thoughts. They were at a party, then she was definitely going to have fun.

alternate faceclaims and prompts.

#kenya stratford #10 things i hate about you #khadijha red thunder #takenf

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farahfaye · 3 years

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HOT TAKE: Deadly Illusions

Watch if you need something that will simultaneously make you laugh unintentionally & fuck up your head. 3/10

My first reaction when thinking about this movie is, “what the actual fuck?” I was intrigued by the movie title, mostly because I saw a snippet on Tik Tok, and also because I had never seen Kristin Davis in anything other than SATC. So, since I had a free afternoon (LOL all my afternoons are free but nvm) – and despite that Rotten Tomatoes rated it something like a 25% - I fell into the whirlpool that is Deadly Illusions.

Alright, so you follow along Kristin Davis’ character, a writer who lives in a weird concrete house with floor to ceiling windows - which, for some reason, is an ominous symbol almost always but they’re so pretty!!! Anyway, she’s a mother of twins and her husband is that guy who plays an escort for Debra Messing in that 2000’s movie. She gets offered like millions of dollars to write a book, which, she tells her friend, VERONICA FROM SHAMELESS (in what dimension are these two friends), she doesn’t want to do because she becomes a different person when she writes. BUT mister escort invests all their money into something weird and tells her while she’s smoking a cigar after sex, which is just totally unrealistic timing, and so she reluctantly decides to write the book. ALSO who the hell is she, Tony Soprano? Cigars???

Kristin hires a nanny - this blonde girl who looks fucking weird from the beginning and rides her bicycle which we’re supposed to apparently find charming (HINT: it’s not) - and everything is lollipops and rainbows for a bit. Blondie takes care of the kids and makes Kristin love her because she likes books and clearly that’s such a ~ rare trait ~ in a person.

SO Kristin is a writer & smokes cigars; Mister Escort is a businessman who made a shitty investment; Blondie takes care of the kids; Veronica from Shameless is Kristin’s BFF. With me?

OK so Kristin starts to get the hots for Blondie. She tells Veronica at some bougie gym that she thinks Blondie acts like “two different people” – wow so original, the innocent & not-so-innocent sides of a nanny – but she is probably just being weird because she’s writing a book. Veronica says, “hey maybe you’re actually a lesbian” and probably if this were Shameless that would be the truth. But, my friends, this is not Shameless. This is psycho-land.

Cut to scenes of Blondie sucking on Kristin’s nipple (????), skinny dipping, more cigar smoking, making out in some field, sex in the pantry. All the while, the audience doesn’t know if this is real or not or if Kristin is fantasizing or straight-up hallucinating. APPARENTLY Mister Escort engages with a BDSM-type role play with Blondie that Kristin “sees” but we, again, aren’t sure. Kristin confronts him on this during dinner (in front of the children – poor choice), no one knows what the fuck is going on, what’s real, what’s fantasy, and why the fuck we’re still watching this movie.

Next thing you know, Veronica is dead, people think Kristin did it, Kristin decides to find out who the fuck Blondie REALLY is, finds out Blondie was held captive by her parents & lives with her split-personality aunt (is it supposed to be dissociative identity disorder? I don’t know); Killer Blondie shows up, because apparently it runs in the family, knives Mister Escort, Kristin & her duke it out. The kids are locked up in some room – very nice of Killer Blondie to do, btw – and Kristin slams a very expensive looking vase on Killer Blondie’s head.

STILL NOT THE END. Kristin writes her book – which, at this point, we realize is similar to the whirlwind of her reality which is why everyone accused Kristin of killing Veronica – Mister Escort is alive and running with the children, and Blondie is locked up in a mental hospital. We assume Blondie’s split personality killed Veronica, and she’s being treated for her mental illness. THEN WE SEE THE SAME PERSON WHO WAS CAUGHT ON VIDEOTAPE AFTER KILLING VERONICA LEAVING THE MENTAL HOSPITAL AND THERE IS NO CLUE AS TO WHO THE FUCK IT IS – KRISTIN OR BLONDIE.

Personally, I felt victimized, mostly, even though I do appreciate a distrustful narrator. Trust me, I love being mind-fucked, but I had a hard time with a non-emotive Kristin Davis showing us how to feel, when we couldn’t tell how she felt. Maybe that’s the point??? Honestly, it mostly felt like a shitty episode of Days of Our Lives that’s taking itself too seriously. The fucked up ending was like a Molotov cocktail being thrown into an abandoned building – was it really necessary?

But the biggest question I keep asking myself is – why the hell was Kristin smoking cigars?

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matty--murdock · 4 years

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okay SO! i saw the mean girls tour a few days ago and i had a really great time! i promised a few people i’d write down all the changes i’d noticed from broadway to the tour so i’ll talk about it under the cut!

i’ve seen the show 31 times on broadway so it was a bit of a culture shock for me honestly. i saw both shows that day which, i’m glad i did because it gave me time to adjust to everything! anyways i’ll do a bulleted list now (not necessarily in chronological order as i wrote things down as i remembered them):

right off the bat, it roars is pretty much completely different. i've seen a lot of people talking about this one but basically it's a hybrid of it roars and wildlife.

this is a SUPER minor detail but it's the first thing i noticed ok. cady enters behind a ZEBRA not an elephant

there are a few minor line changes during where do you belong, one of them being something about the dance team rejecting damian and during his dance break he says “big mistake dance team!” which i thought was funny. another was something about the girls who eat their feelings and girls who dont eat being a lifetime movie and i thought it was stupid

the change i absolute can’t stand is they cut all the cady asides. i really dont see the point as they always get laughs on broadway and they add more to her character.

during the scene in regina’s bedroom mrs. george has a margarita instead of a dog. she has a line about detox tea and says hashtag ad to which regina replies “you can’t say hashtag ad if nobody’s paying you” and i thought that was funny. there’s also another line about needing technology help which i thought was kind of unnecessary.

revenge party had a lot of minor changes such as skipping a line and some scenery being different at different times and i felt like i was in the twilight zone because it was So similar but slightly different.

one of my favorite things is that they updated a few of the projections after the talent show during janis and damian’s talk about social media. they had some of the ones from broadway but added some that looked like insta stories and tik toks.

i think we all know about the fearless change via the video that was released on prior to the tour kicking off. i enjoyed it a lot more than i originally thought i was going to. i still think not having regina sing the little bit of someone gets hurt took her power away a little but ya know.

the top of act two cut right to the small cautionary tale reprise and didnt have cady karen and gretchen walking downstage on broadway.

they cut mrs norbury’s line about men grabbing butts and shooting people

the completely changed the way they get into spring fling which i was sad about. one of my biggest defining factors of a solid aaron is how he distracts duvall and he doesnt do that now. also as a Mathletes Stan i was disappointed in the lack of “mathletes roll out”

i think this one has been talked about a bit too but there’s a little duet between janis and cady during i see stars which i really enjoyed

there are a few scattered lines here and there that were changed and i cant name all of them but i’ll mention some that stood out to me!

they changed kansas/kenya to arkansas/africa which seemed pointless to me but minor enough that i didnt care

duvall has cady introduce herself to the class and they yell that they dont care at her and jason weams yells for her to take her top off

duvall rants about how cady’s name is weird and i thought it was hilarious

during apex predator the lizzie thurman track says her regular “they have a competition where they give regina a crown” line but then adds “which is why i have to be high all the time” and i thought that was funny

where the grace akinola track usually says “cady looked cute, those other three were busted” she now says a line about how gretchen and karen are like her sat words that i cant remember verbatim but i though it was hilarious

i also wanted to note that there’s one less ensemble boy in the tour cast meaning they merged the coach carr and mike t tracks into one and it’s done flawlessly! this isn’t a review but i needed to say here that will branner’s coach carr is absolutely hilarious

anyway that’s it! i might’ve missed a few things but i’m writing this at 2:30am so sorry if i did forget to mention anything significant! overall i really enjoyed it and it was so nice to see a whole new take on the show (changes and new cast members)! maybe i’ll do a review of what i think of the performances themselves eventually?? idk anyway i cant wait to see them again in boston!

let me know if anyone has any specific questions and i’ll try to answer them!

#mean girls musical #mean girls tour #mean girls broadway

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life-in-a-labrynth · 3 years

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I'm in a strange mood. I feel like it's lasted at least a few days. Maybe since I saw Kim, who's kinda related to this.

Most significantly, I feel horny, but don't want to masturbate. I've been disciplined about not taking wank breaks from work, which used to be plentiful. I had no compunction whatsoever about killing an hour from my day of work just writing an erotic story, or signing up for a website and vigorously downloading everything from them I can while I had a paid membership.

It's not just that, but I've cut down on social media. Not much facebook, definitely less reddit, at least during the work day. I've been very good at being disciplined. I've been practicing mindful meditation, and it's honestly made my life easier. I'm better focused, better able to manage stress and anxiety, better able to see things without a lens of irrational feelings.

I'm more grounded. I can just turn my back on a thought... or more to the point, calmly observe that it's there. Just recede into consciousness and notice it and acknowledge it, which seems to defuse it. Sometimes it's more difficult. I was close to taking a fap break earlier.

But let's get to that. Traditionally, I would fap at the drop of a hat. I mean, why not? It feels good, it's not unhealthy, per se. The slightest horny thought may set me forward. All it took was a quick fantasy of a woman, or scene. An elaborate narrative of two or more people, and power structures, much of it revolving around humiliation and objectification.

Lately, it's muted. I felt frustrated earlier because I thought of a pornographic image - Faye Valentine from Cowboy Bebop getting her soles tickled while trapped in stocks. I'd saved it, and was very close (more than normal) of just going for it. I know what would have happened: likely it wouldn't end there. I would have another horny thought, and just want to jump into it. A new fantasy, a new image, a new story. (Or adding onto an existing story, a la writing my own erotica).

So it was frustrating but I just said "who cares, it'll pass. Just focus. You can do that later." The work day ended, I logged off, and... I just didn't feel like it anymore. Not really. I thought I may be able to get back into the mood. I decided I wanted to find new pictures of Faye Valentine getting her feet tickled (I know how ridiculous this sounds, but shhhh, just go with it, reader).

I went through the motions, ran some image searches, but... meh. It didn't hold the same power.

What WAS I thinking of? Another recurring image, which was of my friend Kim. I visited her last Sunday, and was rather struck with how charmed and I attracted I was to her. She'd lost some weight. She was adorable. And instead of getting drawn into negative thoughts about her, I just sat there and focused, paying closer attention to her. I feel like year-ago-Dan would have been mentally scowling and thinking of how boring it was to watch her Tik Toks. And yes, it got pretty tedious, lol. But instead, I just appreciated her. I told myself, quite rationally and healthily, that I only see her once a year. I wanted to enjoy my time with her, not think about how boring it was.

That soooorta happened last time. Wait, did it? Well, in 2018 it did. I remember complaining to Dawn about it. I shouldn't have. I feel like a boot licker in retrospect, partially wanting to ensure her that there wasn't anything between us. I sure as fuck didn't come back and say "Man, Dawn, my throat hurts from TALKING so much with her. Wow, it was such a great time. You know, Dawn, you and me don't talk much. Huh." *big eye roll*

Anyway, enough digression. I feel really good about myself for keeping a positive and healthy attitude. I don't want to be scowling and miserable. I'm not a dumb, angsty teenager anymore. Why not just enjoy life?

So, back to the recurring image. So, Kim has this tik tok, and her persona is basically this girl in black lipstick. (I can feel my old self wanting to scowl and say "god, that's so lame. That's so basic."). But she had a video on there which showed her with barely any make up, some music playing in the background. And just as the bass hits, BOOM, she snaps her fingers and there she is, regaled in her gothy lipstick and black wardrobe. Looking totally badass. Looking totally sexy.

That in itself should have been fap fodder. I feel some pull to write a story about it... something simple and not degrading. Something like her and me connecting as old friends, then fuck buddies. Hell, I could, but you know what's funny? I just want to be with her in real life, kissing her, hugging her, feeling her warm body, fondling her... I want REAL sex with her, damn it, lol!

I always used to say (and maybe I still believe it) that whatever fantasy you have in your head will never be as good in real life. It's very true with the elaborate fantasies that I'm used to. This could be a problem in the future, if say, I get into a relationship, and the sex won't measure up to the fantasies. Oh, sure, I had some fun with a couple of them playing the dominatrix to me. But it was still never as good as I'd hoped it would be. How could it ever compare with my imagination, where everything is perfect, just as I need it to be...

I guess the above would be possible with someone I'm in a relationship with and trust, and we could try over and over again, but... just like being porn sick, I think I could get "erotica" sick. Granted, it hasn't often happened in relationships... right? I was fine with Kelia, fine (for a while anyway) with Violet. Sex with Angela was amazing, so was sex with Dawn. Sometimes it's been lacking... it was with Elisabeth, except for the very nice THC tincture sex we had, lmao.

Sigh. Anyway. I kind of like how I've been feeling recently. Wanting the real thing, not just some story. I guess I did experience this a few weeks ago, when I fapped and thought about sex with Elisabeth, just straight intercourse with both of us going at it, not some elaborate narrative with power structures (which is always how I've fapped to her in the past!).

I think the meditation is healthy. My focus could still be a bit better, but that's okay, I've only been doing it a month.

What else could be at play? I'm not dating. The pandemic has jammed the breaks on that. I felt pretty sad about it, but I think I'm feeling okay now. After Lis declined a second chance, I felt pretty bad. Anxiety started creeping up again, feeling regretful, missing her... and later on, getting back into mental fights with Dawn. But I'm able to keep all of these anxieties at bay. I feel like I'm getting better all the time.

Right now, at least in this moment, I don't feel like I NEED to be in a relationship. I don't feel that urgency. Isn't it kind of nice to take a break from all that profile scanning, fervently compiling OKC questions and answers, losing track of who I talked to and what they told me and what their job was... lmao.

Trying with women who weren't really my type. Feeling crappy about rejecting them. But ugh, I do wish that Laina lived closer. She probably would have rejected me, but I still could have tried.

There's kind of another thing. That made me think of negative self-talk. I'm feeling better about myself. I make mistakes... hell, above, I wrote Kim instead of Dawn when complaining about the latter, a couple times. I thought in my head "oh geez, if I were telling that to a person, I totally would have said the wrong word and confused them." Kind of how I did with Amanda Densten and my GoT rant. But who cares? I think my thoughtfulness supercedes some verbal mistakes that will need some clarification.

I'm getting better at putting into practice everything I told myself before, to help me get through my heartbreak with Dawn. Yeah, she doesn't think I'm smart or insightful. But who the hell cares? Who is she to judge me? She wasn't exactly a galaxy brain, either. Blah blah, I'm not going to re-litigate it here again, but the point is, I'm better at remembering it, and just shrugging off such insecurities. I'm able to capture myself in the moment it's happening, and stop stewing in it.

This whole essay is boring, but that's okay. It's therapy. I mostly just wanted to note down that I'm feeling better, and I'm (for whatever reason) delighted that I felt charmed by Kim, that I'm getting a better attitude. I think I'll be in a better position to date again.

What will that look like? I was tracking my feelings about Kim, and how even part of me could maybe see us in a relationship, even if (cough, I'm really sorry to be a jerk but) she isn't as smart as me. Does she NEED to be? Why can't we just enjoy each other's company and have similar interests? Okay, well, I DO kind of need those things to be in love. Having a smart partner implies the other two, otherwise I'd get bored.

But do I NEED to be? Hell, I'm alone right now. Can't I just stay alone with my (dumbass) supposedly "brilliant" thoughts that I can't share with someone and *gasps and covers eyes with arm* be understooooood!!!!11

Okay, that's enough weird self-deprecating play. But it was an interesting thought. I felt shitty that Dawn implied that my standards weren't as high as hers, and that I just needed "some nice girl" to satisfy me, not a "soul mate" like her. For the first time, part of my thought, "I mean, would that really be SO bad? Isn't that better than being alone?"

Meh. It's less interesting to flesh out. I do still have my standards. It's just, it's kind of funny to get charmed by Kim and let my imagination wander and wonder what it would have been like if her and I got married instead. Very silly. I don't think it would have worked out, but who knows? Maybe if the Dan now went back 10-15 years, things would have been different. Guess we'll never know. And that's okay.

Just like we'll never know if things would have worked out with Elisabeth if the timing was different. For serious, Dan, find someone else like her. She was wonderful.

You found Mary. You found Elisabeth Racer. You found Dawn (I don't think she counts anymore, lmao). You found Elisabeth Writer, and just a year ago.

You'll find another one. Especially after this damned pandemic ends, and there'll be fucking in the streets. But for now... just relax and enjoy yourself. This is actually really nice.

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rosarios-thoughts-blog · 4 years

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Queer Aesthetics

Queer cinema consists of lgbtq+ films made for and by queer people. They use queer visual style in an effort to further push for representation in the movie industry. It is no secret that Hollywood is made for cis straight white people. In movies, the lead is often played by a white straight person with a person of color as their best friend. Queer cinema allows members of the lgbtq+ community to relate to the stories being told on the big screen.

(Brandon and his girlfriend Lana)

In the film Boys Don’t Cry, queer visual style consists of capturing pain and overcoming obstacles that cis straight people will never understand. A majority of the film is shot in a dark setting. When Brandon is being his true self (a man) he is in dark settings because he is keeping the secret of having female body parts from his friends. When Brandon starts his period, it is during the day. This type of editing reminds the audience that Brandon is living a sort of double life. He sees himself as a boy but the rest of the world (that knows the truth about his birth gender) sees him as a girl. I consider this a part of queer visual style because most lgbtq+ people often find themselves living double lives when they are not out of the closet yet. The put on a mask to fit in with the rest of the world and it is only at night or in dark places that they can truly be themselves.

(Amy and a girl she was sleeping with)

Queer visual style can also be found in the film Chasing Amy which was produced by cis male filmmaker Kevin Smith. What gives this film a queer visual style is the main characters love interest who identified as a lesbian woman until she met her “mister right” (which I found to be offensive but that’s a story for another day). When the film wants to portray the character Alyssa as a lesbian woman she is shown as a wild party girl, who is also a womanizer. There is a scene where Alyssa serenades a girl she does not love with a song in a club with low lighting and this is similar to other shows or films I have seen in the past. When straight people make a film or show they tend to have same-sex couples kiss in low lighting compared to opposite-sex couples who kiss proudly in broad daylight. When Alyssa is with Holden romantically, the main character of the film, they are in settings that have good lighting like outside at the part or hanging out in Holden’s apartment by the window, where the sun shines through.

Visual style can be affected by a film makers race, gender, or sexual identity. Each characteristic allows them to interpret stories differently because they share different experiences. The film Boys Don’t Cry was produced by a lesbian filmmaker in the 90’s and this may have affected the films visual style positively. After I finished watching the film Boys Don’t Cry which was directed by Kimberly Peirce, I did some light research on her reasons for wanting to share the tragic story of Brandon Teena. I found an article that I highly recommend reading, called “Boys Don’t Cry” Turns 20: Kimberly Peirce on Her Battle to Make a Controversial Trans Classic’ written by Steven Blum. In the article, Blum interviews Peirce as she tells the tale of her reasons for producing this film. Peirce tells Blum how a queer friend of her showed her the article of Brandon Teena’s tragic death and how Peirce said after reading that article by The Village Voice she adopted Brandon and wanted to share his story.

(director Kimberly Peirce)

Pierce and Brandon were both a part of the lgbtq+ community and this may have been why she sympathizes with him. If you read the article by Blum, it’s clear that Peirce is passionate about the film and it reflects in her work through the visual style. Peirce may understand the struggles Brandon went through as people repeated told him to identify himself as a woman because he was born with female body parts. Many lgbtq+ people have faced this same issue. Peirce’s connection to Brandon through their lgbtq+ community may have been what helped her visual style feel like real life. The setting of the movie is in an ordinary small town that doesn’t really have anything special about. Brandon had friends and they hung out almost everyday like most people do. The visual style shifts between light and dark as Peirce attempts to show the double life Brandon was appeared to be leading according to society.

(director Kevin Smith)

The film Chasing Amy, as I previously stated, was directed by a cis straight white man named Kevin Smith. Smith’s background in being a straight man definitely affected his visual style in the film. The film Chasing Amy is categorized as a comedy and Smith’s visual style reflects that when he portrays Alyssa as a womanizer and shows the flash backs of her crazy one-night stands. Smith also portrays Hooper as a sassy gay man which can be seen in the way he stands, speaks, and dresses. Because Smith is straight, he portrayed gay character’s as one dimensional. Lesbians looked either butch or feme in Smiths film. His lack of queer knowledge and queer visual style made his movie somewhat offensive as he portrayed lgbtq+ people as stereotypical.

I saw a Tik Tok once of this girl asking “how can people ask if gay movies and media have the power to turn people gay?” she then stopped and said “I don’t know, they might because straight movies and media convinced me I was straight for 20 years” Although she made that Tik Tok for a comedic effect she did have something important to say, and that is that there was a lack of representation for lgbtq+ people in the film industry. A queer movie cannot turn someone queer who isn’t already. It may help them realize if they are queer and it may normalize the sigma that being queer isn’t strange or that being queer doesn’t makes someone different. When I see a tv show, movie or commercial I sometimes analyze them and determine if I found them interesting, funny or cool. If I find that I didn’t like what I had been exposed to I tell myself it’s probably because I not the target audience. Because I could not relate to this media it did not affect the way I felt about a particular thing. The same could be said for queer films, if a straight person watched a queer film, they may not identify themselves with the characters for that reason but they could still identify themselves with the characters if they both get bullied at school or have older siblings. The film however, will never have the power to turn a straight person queer.

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boisentertainment · 4 years

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Dark Lane Demo Tapes HD Review

Cover Art To “Dark Lane Demo Tapes”

“I’m losing enough sleep

dealing with envy and the news that they send for me

got the block in a frenzy”

–Deep Pockets

Drake starts off Dark Lane Demo Tapes doing what he does best, effortlessly floating on the intro “Deep Pockets“, another collaboration accompanied by producer Noah “40” Shebib. Self-reflecting and reminiscing on adolescent aspirations before the transition of becoming one of the greatest artists of all time.

Drake breaking the record for Most Wins in one night at the 2017 Billboard Music Awards

Drake has been navigating through uncharted territory flawlessly. Proving this point yet again with his release of “Toosie Slide”. Drake’s 3rd single to debut at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart making him the first male in history to achieve this milestone.

“500 mill and I’ll fall back in the six,

finally give you n**** the space you need to exist”

-When To Say When

*Talk To em Drizzy*

Drake follows up with two pre-released tracks, “When To Say When” & “Chicago Freestyle”. Jam packed with bars, a sample from “Song Cry” by Jay-Z (one of my all time favorite Hov songs) on “When To Say When”, and a nostalgic Eminem cadence reference on “Chicago Freestyle”.

You really love to see Drizzy remind everyone on “When To Say When” that his pen still outmatches all who oppose. Re-asserting his dominance as if it was ever in question. Subtle reminders like the bars above are what keep Drake and his competition completely separated.

“Two-thirty, baby, won’t you meet me by The Bean?

Too early, maybe later you can show me things

You know what it is whenever I visit

Windy city, she blowin’ me kisses, no

Thirty degrees, way too cold, so hold me tight

Will I see you at the show tonight?”

-Chicago Freestyle

Giveon, a California native sings of the windy city as Drake gets ready to paint a picture of a night through his perception. From scrolling through his contacts of women’s names that are seemingly categorized by area code, to eventually just letting his boi Chubbs pick a girl out for him as if picking up women is as easy as shopping! Drake brilliantly segways into a memory that you forgot you had by referencing a cadence used in Eminem’s “Superman” released in 2002.

Eminem and Drake. Picture: Instagram

Don’t be fooled by the feature credit of Chris Brown….we didn’t get another “No Guidance” summer anthem….

Just a few background vocals from the R&B legend were enough to get his name on the project tracklist. Meanwhile Burna Boy is still waiting for his credits since More Life but that’s a conversation for another day. “Not You Too” Featuring Chris Brown is the first song on the project that I really don’t care for. It’s disappointing when you see a Drake and Chris Brown collaboration and it doesn’t slap..

What A Time To Be Alive is in my Top 3 favorite duo albums of all time. Whenever I see a Drake and Future collab I automatically get excited. Previously leaked, “Desires” is everything you want in a slower more laid back vibe from these two. The hook is addicting. Future’s verse is versatile with flows. His energy matches perfectly and his lyrics have SUBSTANCE. Listen to it carefully.

Photo From Future Featuring Drake “Life Is Good”

Drake has this ability to be able to sing 90% of the song, take the other 10%, completely spazz, and musically still have it make sense. These are the moments in songs like “Desires” and “Redemption” that turn slow R&B type vibe songs into a completely different entity within itself. Now all of a sudden you’re turning up and talking your sh*t instead of staring at the ceiling crying yourself to sleep.

When I hear “Time Flies” I automatically think of Tik Tok. I don’t know why but if it blows up on Tik Tok you heard it here first! Honestly for me this, is another skip it and forget it type of song, I really hope it doesn’t go viral.

The first forty-five seconds is the only part of the song that kept my attention. Otherwise the rest is forgettable or just too similar to music that he’s already done thus not really elevating his ability here. During a full listen to the song I’m 100% paying attention during the first forty-five seconds. After that my attention doesn’t come back until he starts saying “Im Sorry”.

Don’t worry Drizzy I forgive you.

“If he talkin’ out his head, then it’s off with it, yeah

Boardin’ Air Drake, then we takin’ off in it, yeah”

-Landed

Luckily, “Time Flies” is followed by a HEATER. Three hooks and three verses of aggressive, yet relaxed, reckless bars knowing there isn’t a consequence for you when you’re at the top. “Landed” is a slick talk, mean face, making breakfast with the speaker on 10 with the neighbors calling the cops while you’re trying to get hype for the day joint.

I wanna stop writing this review, get in my car, windows down, put this song on max volume and mean mug old people walking their dog in the suburbs for the rest of the day.

At first listen I was super excited about “D4L”. The production from Southside is out of this world. I do feel like it’s lacking a certain element. It’s easy to fall in love with a song featuring Drake, Future, and Young Thug, with this type of production. To me it just doesn’t sound organic. It sounds like it was thrown together rather than collectively created.

Honestly, I wish Drake and Future left Young Thug out of it, sat down together and created a dope record. Kind of wasted a great instrumental.

To be blunt, I’m just not impressed with “Pain 1993”. It could be the fact that I’m not the biggest Playboi Carti fan, or it could be just because the song’s just not that interesting. I’ve replayed “Pain 1993” numerous times searching for something with depth or meaning because that, accompanied with creative cadences and complex bars, is the reason why I love Drake’s music. This didn’t do it for me.

The intro to “Losses” is amazing. The song starts with a clip of Drake’s father Dennis Graham previewing a song Dennis had been working on recently. It ends with Dennis saying something like, “This songs about family, if anyone feel anyway about it I don’t give a f***”, classic.

It’s funny how you can listen to any Drake project and stumble upon a song that you personally aren’t really feeling. The next song is the exact song you’re looking for. Self-reflection is my favorite type of Drake song because the untouchable becomes relatable and humbled.

The second verse of “Losses” touches on Drake’s motivation on why he does what he does, “I do it for the Grahams not the Gram”. Then goes into depth about his sacrifices and choices that he’s made over the years and defends his reasoning behind them.

“I did it by being myself with no dramatic acting

I couldn’t sit around and wait, I had to have it happen

Lost you to the game, I gotta face that

Really think I lost you like a ways back”

-Losses

Drakes starts off “From Florida With Love” paying homage to the late Static Major who was well known for his appearance on Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop”. Otherwise the song is a dope story about Wayne showing Drake “Lollipop” back in 2008 on a tour bus with Kobe Bryant. (RIP) Then the story continues with Drake getting robbed for his chain and how that lesson stuck with him for life. Further justifying his reasoning for his mentality and how he handles certain situations.

“From that day I never touched the road without a (Plugg)

Ayy, from that day I never saw the point in talkin’ tough (Nah)

Hasn’t happened since, I guess you n***** know what’s up (Yup)

Yeah, haven’t seen the 6ix in like a month (6ix)

F*** that, I’m back, baby, where the love? (Love)”

– From Florida With Love

“VIRAL. MOVIE.”

Love to see Drake on some, what I define as, “murder music”. Type of music that just makes you wanna fight anybody, anytime… Drake absolutely BODIES the first verse but it’s a mere alley oop to Fivio Foriegn.

Fivio Foriegn sounds like he’s right at home on this one. His delivery is in your face, lyrics are gritty, his aggression is on another level. My only take back is Sosa Geek’s verse just feels, unnecessary. Or maybe I just really wish Pop Smoke was alive to clean this one up RIP.

The final song on the project “War” was released around Christmas time 2019. The best part of this being the outro to the project is only that we can stream this song now. Despite being released months in advance it only became available on streaming services with this release.

War is a song that is being recognized as “UK Drill” which, obviously, was created in the United Kingdom. This is just another example of how Drake can travel in and out of different genres and subgenres immaculately.

Conclusion

Overall the project is supposed to be perceived as a “mixtape” rather than an “album”. Drake is set to release a brand new studio album later this year. As a whole I enjoy the project, I’m trying to shy away from relating it to other albums because it technically isn’t an album. Dark Lane Demo Tape isn’t game changing, but it will hold the world over until the real album drops.

What was your favorite song on “Dark Lane Demo Tape”?

Tell me what you guys think in the comments below!

Thank you for reading my “Dark Lane Demo Mixtape”�� HD review. If you enjoyed this post check out boisandbartalk.com for more content from the bois!

Love,

Kev Clark HD

#beer tasting #microbreweries #bars #drinking #partying #blogging #Podcasts #restaurants #night clubs

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