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armageddon-generation · 3 years

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Articulating Why His Dark Materials is Badly Written

A long essay-thing with lots of specific examples and explanations of why I feel this way. Hopefully I’ve kept fanboy bitching to a minimum.

This isn’t an attack on fans of the show, nor a personal attack on Jack Thorne. I’m not looking to ruin anyone’s enjoyment of the show, I just needed to properly articulate, with examples, why I struggle with it. I read and love the books and that colours my view, but I believe that HDM isn’t just a clumsy, at-best-functional, sometimes incompetent adaptation, it’s a bad TV show separate from its source material. The show is the blandest, least interesting and least engaging version of itself it could be.

His Dark Materials has gorgeous production design and phenomenal visual effects. It's well-acted. The score is great. But my god is it badly written. Jack Thorne writing the entire first season damned the show. There was no-one to balance out his flaws and biases. Thorne is checking off a list of plot-points, so concerned with manoeuvring the audience through the story he forgets to invest us in it. The scripts are mechanical, empty, flat.

Watching HDM feels like an impassioned fan earnestly lecturing you on why the books are so good- (Look! It's got other worlds and religious allegory and this character Lyra is really, really important I swear. Isn't Mrs Coulter crazy? The Gyptians are my favourites.) rather than someone telling the story naturally.

My problems fall into 5 main categories:

Exposition- An unwillingness to meaningfully expand the source material for a visual medium means Thorne tells and doesn't show crucial plot-points. He then repeats the same thing multiple times because he doesn't trust his audience

Pacing- By stretching out the books and not trusting his audience Thorne dedicates entire scenes to one piece of information and repeats himself constantly (see: the Witches' repetition of the prophecy in S2).

Narrative priorities- Thorne prioritises human drama over fantasy. This makes sense budgetarily, but leads to barely-present Daemons, the Gyptians taking up too much screentime, rushed/badly written Witches (superpowers, exposition) and Bears (armourless bear fight), and a Lyra more focused on familial angst than the joy of discovery

Tension and Mystery- because HDM is in such a hurry to set up its endgame it gives you the answers to S1's biggest mysteries immediately- other worlds, Lyra's parents, what happens to the kids etc. This makes the show less engaging and feel like it's playing catch-up to the audience, not the other way around.

Tonal Inconsistency- HDM tries to be a slow-paced, grounded, adult drama, but its blunt, simplistic dialogue and storytelling methods treat the audience like children that need to be lectured.

MYSTERY, SUSPENSE AND INTRIGUE

The show undercuts all the books’ biggest mysteries. Mrs Coulter is set up as a villain before we meet her, other worlds are revealed in 1x2, Lyra's parents by 1x3, what the Magesterium do to kids is spelled out long before Lyra finds Billy (1x2). I understand not wanting to lose new viewers, but neutering every mystery kills momentum and makes the show much less engaging.

This extends to worldbuilding. The text before 1x1 explains both Daemons and Lyra's destiny before we meet her. Instead of encouraging us to engage with the world and ask questions, we're given all the answers up front and told to sit back and let ourselves be spoon-fed. The viewer is never an active participant, never encouraged to theorise or wonder

Intrigue motivated you to engage with Pullman's philosophical themes and concepts. Without it, HDM feels like a lecture, a theme park ride and not a journey.

The only one of S1's mysteries left undiminished is 'what is Dust?', which won't be properly answered until S3, and that answer is super conceptual and therefore hard to make dramatically satisfying

TONAL INCONSISTENCY

HDM billed itself as a HBO-level drama, and was advertised as a GoT inheritor. It takes itself very seriously- the few attempts at humour are stilted and out of place

The production design is deliberately subdued, most notably choosing a mid-twentieth century aesthetic for Lyra’s world over the late-Victorian of the books or steampunk of the movie. The colour grading would be appropriate for a serious adult drama.

Reviewers have said this stops the show feeling as fantastical as it should. It also makes Lyra’s world less distinct from our own.

Most importantly, minimising the wondrous fantasy of S1 neuters its contrast with the escalating thematic darkness of the finale (from 1x5 onwards), and the impact of Roger’s death. Pullman's books are an adult story told through the eyes of a child. Lyra’s innocence and naivety in the first book is the most important journey of the trilogy. Instead, the show starts serious and thematically heavy (we’re told Lyra has world-saving importance before we even meet her) and stays that way.

Contrasting the serious tone, grounded design and poe-faced characters, the dialogue is written to cater to children. It’s horrendously blunt and pulls you out of scenes. Subtext is obliterated at every opportunity. Even in the most recent episode, 2x7, Pan asks Lyra ‘do you think you’re changing because of Will?’

I cannot understate how on the nose this line is, and how much it undercuts the themes of the final book. Instead of even a meaningful shot of Lyra looking at Will, the show treats the audience like complete idiots.

So, HDM looks and advertises itself like an adult drama and is desperate to be taken seriously by wearing its big themes on its sleeve from the start instead of letting them evolve naturally out of subtext like the books, and dedicating lots of scenes to Mrs Coulter's self-abuse

At the same time its dialogue and character writing is comparable to the Star Wars prequels, more childish than media aimed at a similar audience - Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Avatar the Last Airbender etc

DAEMONS

The show gives itself a safety net by explaining Daemons in an opening text-crawl, and so spends less time showing the mechanics of the Daemon-human bond. On the HDM subreddit, I’ve seen multiple people get to 1x5 or 6, and then come to reddit asking basic questions like ‘why do only some people have Daemons?’ or ‘Why are Daemons so important?’.

It’s not that the show didn’t answer these questions; it was in the opening text-crawl. It’s just the show thinks telling you is enough and never shows evidence to back that up. Watching a TV show you remember what you’re shown much easier than what you’re told

The emotional core of Northern Lights is the relationship between Lyra and Pan. The emotional core of HDM S1 is the relationship between Lyra and Mrs Coulter. This wouldn't be bad- it's a fascinating dynamic Ruth plays wonderfully- if it didn't override the Daemons

Daemons are only onscreen when they serve a narrative purpose. Thorne justifies this because the books only describe Daemons when they tell us about their human. On the page your brain fills the Daemons in. This doesn't work on-screen; you cannot suspend your disbelief when their absence is staring you in the face

Thorne clarified the number of Daemons as not just budgetary, but a conscious creative choice to avoid onscreen clutter. This improved in S2 after vocal criticism.

Mrs Coulter/the Golden Monkey and Lee/Hester have well-drawn relationships in S1, but Pan and Lyra hug more in the 2-hour Golden Compass movie than they do in the 8-hour S1 of HDM. There's barely any physical contact with Daemons at all.

They even cut Pan and Lyra's hug after escaping the Cut in Bolvangar. In the book they can't let go of each other. The show skips it completely because Thorne wants to focus on Mrs Coulter and Lyra.

They cut Pan and Lyra testing how far apart they can be. They cut Lyra freeing the Cut Daemons in Bolvangar with the help of Kaisa. We spent extra time with both Roger and Billy Costa, but didn't develop their bonds with their Daemons- the perfect way to make the Cut more impactful

I don't need every single book scene in the show, but notice that all these cut scenes reinforced how important Daemons are. For how plodding the show is. you'd think they could spare time for these moments instead of inventing new conversations that tell us the information they show

Daemons are treated as separate beings and thus come across more like talking pets than part of a character

The show sets the rules of Daemons up poorly. In 1x2, Lyra is terrified by the Monkey being so far from Coulter, but the viewer has nothing to compare it to. We’re retroactively told in that this is unnatural when the show has yet to establish what ‘natural’ is.

The guillotine blueprint in 1x2 (‘Is that a human and his Daemon, Pan? It looks like it.’ / ‘A blade. To cut what?’) is idiotic. It deflates S1’s main mystery and makes the characters look stupid for not figuring out what they aren’t allowed to until they did in the source material, it also interferes with how the audience sees Daemons. In the book, Cutting isn’t revealed until two-thirds of the way in (1x5). By then we’ve spent a lot of time with Daemons, they’ve become a background part of the world, their ‘rules’ have been established, and we’re endeared to them.

By showing the Guillotine and putting Daemons under threat in the second episode, the show never lets us grow attached. This, combined with their selective presence in scenes, draws attention to Daemons as a plot gimmick and not a natural extension of characters. Like Lyra, the show tells us why Daemons are important before we understand them.

Billy Costa's fate falls flat. It's missing the dried fish/ fake Daemon Tony Markos clings to in the book. Thorne said this 'didn't work' on the day, but it worked in the film. Everyone yelling about Billy not having a Daemon is laughable when most of the background extras in the same scene don't have Daemons themselves

WITCHES

The Witches are the most common complaint about the show. Thorne changed Serafina Pekkala in clever, logical ways (her short hair, wrist-knives and cloud pine in the skin)

The problem is how Serafina is written. The Witches are purely exposition machines. We get no impression of their culture, their deep connection to nature, their understanding of the world. We are told it. It is never shown, never incorporated into the dramatic action of the show.

Thorne emphasises Serafina's warrior side, most obviously changing Kaisa from a goose into a gyrfalcon (apparently a goose didn't work on-screen)

Serafina single-handedly slaughtering the Tartars is bad in a few ways. It paints her as bloodthirsty and ruthless. Overpowering the Witches weakens the logic of the world (If they can do that, why do they let the Magesterium bomb them unchallenged in 2x2?). It strips the Witches of their subtlety and ambiguity for the sake of cinematic action.

A side-effect of Serafina not being with her clan at Bolvangar is limiting our exposure to the Witches. Serafina is the only one invested in the main plot, we only hear about them from what she tells us. This poor set-up weakens the Witch subplot in S2

Lyra doesn’t speak to Serafina until 2x6. She laid eyes on her once in S1.

The dialogue in the S2’s Witch subplot is comparable to the Courasant section of The Phantom Menace.

Two named characters, neither with any depth (Serafina and Coram's dead son developed him far more than her). The costumes look ostentatious and hokey- the opposite of what the Witches should be. They do nothing but repeat the same exposition at each other, even in 2x7.

We feel nothing when the Witches are bombed because the show never invests us in what is being destroyed- with the amount of time wasted on long establishing shots, there’s not one when Lee Scoresby is talking to the Council.

BEARS

Like the Witches; Thorne misunderstands and rushes the fantasy elements of the story. The 2007 movie executed both Iofur's character and the Bear Fight much better than the show- bloodless jaw-swipe and all

Iofur's court was not the parody of human court in the books. He didn't have his fake-Daemon (hi, Billy)

An armourless bear fight is like not including Pan in the cutting scene. After equating Iorek's armour to a Daemon (Lee does this- we don’t even learn how important it is from Iorek himself, and the comparison meant less because of how badly the show set up Daemons) the show then cuts the plotpoint that makes the armour plot-relevant. This diminishes all of Bear society. Like Daemons, we're told Iorek's armour is important but it's never shown to be more than a cool accessory

GYPTIANS

Gyptians suffer from Hermoine syndrome. Harry Potter screenwriter Steve Kloves' favourite character was Hermione, and so Film!Hermoine lost most of Book!Hermoine's flaws and gained several of Book!Ron's best moments. The Gyptians are Jack Thorne's favourite group in HDM and so they got the extra screentime and development that the more complicated groups/concepts like Witches, Bears, and Daemons (which, unlike the Gyptians, carry over to other seasons amd are more important to the overall story) needed

At the same time, he changes them from a private people into an Isle of Misfit Toys. TV!Ma Costa promises they'll ‘make a Gyptian woman out of Lyra yet’, but in the book Ma specifically calls Lyra out for pretending to be Gyptian, and reminds her she never can be.

This small moment indicates how, while trying to make the show more grounded and 'adult', Thorne simultaneously made it more saccharine and sentimental. He neuters the tragedy of the Cut kids when Ma Costa says they’ll become Gyptians. Pullman's books feel like an adult story told through the eyes of a child. The TV show feels like a child's story masquerading as a serious drama.

LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA

Let me preface this by saying I genuinely really enjoy the performances in the show. It was shot in the foot by The Golden Compass' perfect casting.

The most contentious/'miscast' actor among readers is LMM. Thorne ditched the books' wise Texan for a budget Han Solo. LMM isn't a great dramatic actor (even in Hamilton he was the weak link performance-wise) but he makes up for it in marketability- lots of people tried the show because of him

Readers dislike that LMM's Lee is a thief and a scoundrel, when book-Lee is so moral he and Hester argue about stealing. Personally, I like the change in concept. Book!Lee's parental love for Lyra just appears. It's sweet, but not tied to a character arc. Done right, Lyra out-hustling Lee at his own game and giving him a noble cause to fight for (thus inspiring the moral compass of the books) is a more compelling arc.

DAFNE KEENE AND LYRA

I thought Dafne would be perfect casting. Her feral energy in Logan seemed a match made in heaven. Then Jack Thorne gave her little to do with it.

Compare how The Golden Compass introduced Lyra, playing Kids and Gobblers with a group of Gyptian kids, including Billy Costa. Lyra and Roger are chased to Jordan by the Gyptians and she makes up a lie about a curse to scare the Gyptians away.

In one scene the movie set up: 1) the Gobblers (the first we hear of them in the show is in retrospect, Roger worrying AFTER Billy is taken) 2) Lyra’s pre-existing relationship with the Gyptians (not in the show), 3) Friendship with Billy Costa (not in the book or show) 4) Lyra’s ability to befriend and lead groups of people, especially kids, and 5) Lyra’s ability to lie impressively

By comparison, it takes until midway through 1x2 for TV!Lyra to tell her first lie, and even then it’s a paper-thin attempt.

The show made Roger Lyra’s only friend. This artificially heightens the impact of Roger's death, but strips Lyra of her leadership qualities and ability to befriend anyone.

Harry Potter fans talk about how Book!Harry is funnier and smarter than Film!Harry. They cut his best lines ('There's no need to call me sir, Professor') and made him blander and more passive. The same happened to Lyra.

Most importantly, Lyra is not allowed to lie for fun. She can't do anything 'naughty' without being scolded. This colours the few times Lyra does lie (e.g. to Mrs Coulter in 1x2) negatively and thus makes Lyra out to be more of a brat than a hero.

This is a problem with telling Northern Lights from an outside, 'adult' perspective- to most adults Lyra is a brat. Because we’re introduced to her from inside her head, we think she's great. It's only when we meet her through Will's eyes in The Subtle Knife and she's filthy, rude and half-starved that we realise Lyra bluffs her way through life and is actually pretty non-functional

Thorne prioritises grounded human drama over fantasy, and so his Lyra has her love of bears and witches swapped for familial angst. (and, in S2. angst over Roger). By exposing Mrs Coulter as her mother early, Thorne distracts TV!Lyra from Book!Lyra’s love of the North. The contrast between wonder and reality made NL's ending a definitive threshold between innocence and knowledge. Thorne showed his hand too early.

Similarly, TV!Lyra doesn’t have anywhere near as strong an admiration for Lord Asriel. She calls him out in 1x8 (‘call yourself a Father’), which Book!Lyra never would because she’s proud to be his child. From her perspective, at this point Asriel is the good parent.

TV!Lyra’s critique of Asriel feels like Thorne using her as a mouthpiece to voice his own, adult perspective on the situation. Because Lyra is already disappointed in Asriel, his betrayal in the finale isn’t as effective. Pullman saves the ‘you’re a terrible Father’ call-out for the 3rd book for a reason; Lyra’s naive hero-worship of Asriel in Northern Lights makes the fall from Innocence into Knowledge that Roger’s death represents more effective.

So, on TV Lyra is tamer, angstier, more introverted, less intelligent, less fun and more serious. We're just constantly told she's important, even before we meet her.

MRS COULTER (AND LORD ASRIEL)

Mrs Coulter is the main character of the show. Not Lyra. Mrs Coulter was cast first, and Lyra was cast based on a chemistry test with Ruth Wilson. Coulter’s character is given lots of extra development, where the show actively strips Lyra of her layers.

To be clear, I have no problem with developing Mrs Coulter. She is a great character Ruth Wilson plays phenomenally. I do have a problem with the show fixating on her at the expense of other characters.

Lyra's feral-ness is given to her parents. Wilson and McAvoy are more passionate than in the books. This is fun to watch, but strips them of subtlety- you never get Book!Coulter's hypnotic allure from Wilson, she's openly nasty, even to random strangers (in 2x3 her dismissal of the woman at the hotel desk felt like a Disney villain).

Compare how The Golden Compass (2007) introduced Mrs Coulter through Lyra’s eyes, with light, twinkling music and a sparkling dress. By contrast, before the show introduces Coulter it tells us she’s associated with the evil Magisterium plotting Asriel’s death- “Not a word to any of our mutual friends. Including her.” Then she’s introduced striding down a corridor to imposing ‘Bad Guy’ strings.

Making Mrs Coulter’s villainy so obvious so early makes Lyra look dumber for falling for it. It also wastes an interesting phase of her character arc. Coulter is rushed into being a ’conflicted evil mother’ in 2 episodes, and stays in that phase for the rest of the show so far. Character progression is minimised because she circles the same place.

It makes her one-note. It's a good note (so much of the positive online chatter is saphiccs worshiping Ruth Wilson) but the show also worships her to the point of hindrance- e.g. take a shot every time Coulter walks slow-motion down a corridor in 2x2

The problem isn’t the performances, but how prematurely they give the game away. Just like the mysteries around Bolvangar and Lyra’s parentage. Neither Coulter or Asriel have much chance to use their 'public' faces.

This is part of a bigger pacing problem- instead of rolling plot points out gradually, Thorne will stick the solution in front of you early and then stall for time until it becomes relevant. Instead of building tension this builds frustration and makes the show feel like it's catching up to the audience. This also makes the characters less engaging. You've already shown Mrs Coulter is evil/Boreal is in our world/Asriel wants Roger. Why are you taking so long getting to the point?

PACING AND EDITING

This show takes forever to make its point badly.

Scenes in HDM tend to operate on one level- either 'Character Building,' 'Exposition,' or 'Plot Progression'.

E.g. Mary's introduction in 2x2. Book!Mary only listens to Lyra because she’s sleep and caffeine-deprived and desperate because her funding is being cut. But the show stripped that subtext out and created an extra scene of a colleague talking to Mary about funding. They removed emotional subtext to focus on exposition, and so the scene felt empty and flat.

In later episodes characters Mary’s sister and colleagues do treat her like a sleep-deprived wreck. But, just like Lyra’s lying, the show doesn’t establish these characteristics in her debut episode. It waits until later to retroactively tell us they were there. Mary’s colleague saying ‘What we’re dealing with here is the fact that you haven’t slept in weeks’ is as flimsy as Pan joking not lying to Mary will be hard for Lyra.

Rarely does a scene work on multiple levels, and if it does it's clunky- see the exposition dump about Daemon Separation in the middle of 2x2's Witch Trial.

He also splits plot progression into tiny doses, which destroys pacing. It's more satisfying to focus on one subplot advancing multiple stages than all of them shuffling forward half a step each episode.

Subplots would be more effective if all the scenes played in sequence. As it is, plotlines can’t build momentum and literal minutes are wasted using the same establishing shots every time we switch location.

The best-structured episodes of S1 are 1x4, 1x6, and 1x8. This is because they have the fewest subplots (incidentally these episodes have least Boreal in them) and so the main plot isn’t diluted by constantly cutting away to Mrs Coulter sniffing Lyra’s coat or Will watching a man in a car through his window, before cutting back again.

The best-written episode so far is 2x5. The Scholar. Tellingly, it’s the only episode Thorne doesn’t have even a co-writing credit on. 2x5 is well-paced, its dialogue is more naturalistic, it’s more focused, it even has time for moments of whimsy (Monkey with a seatbelt, Mrs Coulter with jeans, Lyra and Will whispering) that don’t detract from the story.

Structurally, 2x5 works because A) it benches Lee’s plotline. B) The Witches and Magisterium are relegated to a scene each. And C) the Coulter/Boreal and Lyra/Will subplots move towards the same goal. Not only that, but when we check in on Mary’s subplot it’s through Mrs Coulter’s eyes and directly dovetails into the main action of the episode.

2x5 has a lovely sense of narrative cohesion because it has the confidence to sit with one set of characters for longer than two scenes at a time.

HDM also does this thing where it will have a scene with plot A where characters do or talk about something, cut away to plot B for a scene, then cut back to plot A where the characters talk about what happened in their last scene and painstakingly explain how they feel about it and why

Example: Pan talking to Will in 2x7 while Lyra pretends to be asleep. This scene is from the 3rd book, and is left to breathe for many chapters before Lyra brings it up. In the show after the Will/Pan scene they cut away to another scene, then cut back and Lyra instantly talks about it.

There’s the same problem in 2x5: After escaping Mrs Coulter, Lyra spells out how she feels about acting like her

The show never leaves room for implication, never lets us draw our own conclusions before explaining what it meant and how the characters feel about it immediately afterwards. The audience are made passive in their engagement with the characters as well as the world

LORD BOREAL, JOHN PARRY AND DIMINISHING RETURNS

At first, Boreal’s subplot in S1 felt bold and inspired. The twist of his identity in The Subtle Knife would've been hard to pull off onscreen anyway. As a kid I struggled to get past Will's opening chapter of TSK and I have friends who were the same. Introducing Will in S1 and developing him alongside Lyra was a great idea.

I loved developing Elaine Parry and Boreal into present, active characters. But the subplot was introduced too early and moved too slowly, bogging down the season.

In 1x2 Boreal crosses. In 1x3 we learn who he's looking for. In 1x5 we meet Will. In 1x7 the burglary. 1 episode worth of plot is chopped up and fed to us piecemeal across many. Boreal literally stalls for two episodes before the burglary- there are random 30 second shots of him sitting in a car watching John Parry on YouTube (videos we’d already seen) completely isolated from any other scenes in the episode

By the time we get to S2 we've had 2 seasons of extended material building up Boreal, so when he just dies like in the books it's anticlimactic. The show frontloads his subplot with meaning without expanding on its payoff, so the whole thing fizzles out.

Giving Boreal, the secondary villain in literally every episode, the same death as a background character in about 5 scenes in the novels feels cheap. It doesn’t help that, after 2x5 built the tension between Coulter and Boreal so well, as soon as Thorne is passed the baton in 2x6 he does little to maintain that momentum. Again, because the subplot is crosscut with everything else the characters hang in limbo until Coulter decides to kill him.

I’ve been watching non-book readers react to the show, and several were underwhelmed by Boreal’s quick, unceremonious end.

Similarly, the show builds up John Parry from 1x3 instead of just the second book. Book!John’s death is an anticlimax but feels narratively justified. In the show, we’ve spent so much extra time talking about him and then being with him (without developing his character beyond what’s in the novels- Pullman even outlined John’s backstory in The Subtle Knife’s appendix. How hard would it be to add a flashback or two?) that when John does nothing in the show and then dies (he doesn’t even heal Will’s fingers like in the book- only tell him to find Asriel, which the angels Baruch and Balthamos do anyway) it doesn’t feel like a clever, tragic subversion of our expectations, it feels like a waste that actively cheapens the audience’s investment.

TL;DR giving supporting characters way more screentime than they need only, to give their deaths the same weight the books did after far less build up makes huge chunks of the show feel less important than they were presented to be.

FRUSTRATINGLY LIMITED EXPANSION AND NOVELLISTIC STORYTELLING

Thorne is unwilling to meaningfully develop or expand characters and subplots to fit a visual medium. He introduces a plot-point, invents unnecessary padding around it, circles it for an hour, then moves on.

Pullman’s books are driven by internal monologue and big, complex theological concepts like Daemons and Dust. Instead of finding engaging, dynamic ways to dramatise these concepts through the actions of characters or additions to the plot, Thorne turns Pullman’s internal monologue into dialogue and has the characters explain them to the audience

The novels’ perspective on its characters is narrow, first because Northern Lights is told only from Lyra’s POV, and second because Pullman’s writing is plot-driven, not character-driven. Characters are vessels for the plot and themes he wants to explore.

This is a fine way of writing novels. When adapting the books into a longform drama, Thorne decentralised Lyra’s perspective from the start, and HDM S1 uses the same multi-perspective structure that The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass do, following not only Lyra but the Gyptians, Mrs Coulter, Boreal, Will and Elaine etc

However, these other perspectives are limited. We never get any impression of backstory or motivation beyond the present moment. Many times I’ve seen non-book readers confused or frustrated by vague or non-existent character motivations.

For example, S1 spends a lot of time focused on Ma Costa’s grief over Billy’s disappearance, but we never see why she’s sad, because we never saw her interact with Billy.

Compare this to another show about a frantic mother and older brother looking for a missing boy. Stranger Things uses only two flashbacks to show us Will Byers’ relationships with his family: 1) When Joyce Byers looks in his Fort she remembers visiting Will there. 2) The Clash playing on the radio reminds Jonathan Byers of introducing Will to the song.

In His Dark Materials we never see the Costas as a happy family- 1x1’s Gyptian ceremony focuses on Tony and Daemon-exposition. Billy never speaks to his mum or brother in the show

Instead we have Ma Costa’s empty grief. The audience has to do the work (the bad kind) imagining what she’s lost. Instead of seeing Billy, it’s just repeated again and again that they will get the children back.

If we’re being derivative, HDM had the chance to segway into a Billy flashback when John Faa brings one of his belongings back from a Gobbler safehouse in 1x2. This is a perfect The Clash/Fort Byers-type trigger. It doesn’t have to be long- the Clash flashback lasted 1:27, the Fort Byers one 55 seconds. Just do something.

1x3 beats into us that Mrs Coulter is nuts without explaining why. Lots of build-up for a single plot-point. Then we're told Mrs Coulter's origin, not shown. This is a TV show. Swap Boreal's scenes for flashbacks of Coulter and Asriel's affair. Then, when Ma Costa tells Lyra the truth, show the fight between Edward Coulter and Asriel.

To be clear, Thorne's additions aren’t fundamentally bad. For example, Will boxing sets up his struggle with violence. But it's wasted. The burglary/murder in 1x7 fell flat because of bad editing, but the show never uses its visual medium to show Will's 'violent side'- no change in camera angle, focus, or sound design, nothing. It’s just a thing that’s there, unsupported by the visual language of the show

The Magisterium scenes in 2x2 were interesting. We just didn't need 5 of them; their point could be made far more succinctly.

In 2x6 there is a minute-long scene of Mary reading the I Ching. Later, there is another scene of Angelica watching Mary sitting somewhere different, doing the SAME THING, and she sees an Angel. Why split these up? It’s not like either the I Ching or the Angels are being introduced here. Give the scene multiple layers.

Thorne either takes good character moments from the books (Lyra/Will in 2x1) or uses heavy-handed exposition that reiterates the same point multiple times. This hobbles the Witches (their dialogue in 2x1, 2 and 3 literally rephrases the same sentiment about protecting Lyra without doing anything). Even character development- see Lee monologuing his and Mrs Coulter's childhood trauma in specific detail in 2x3

This is another example of Thorne adding something, but instead of integrating it into the dramatic action and showing us, it’s just talked about. What’s the point of adding big plot points if you don’t dramatise them in your dramatic, visual medium? In 2x8, Lee offhandedly mentions playing Alamo Gulch as a kid.

I’m literally screaming, Jack, why the flying fuck wasn’t there a flashback of young Lee and Hester playing Alamo Gulch and being stopped by his abusive dad? It’s not like you care about pacing with the amount of dead air in these episodes, even when S2’s run 10 minutes shorter than S1’s. Lee was even asleep at the beginning of 2x3, Jack! He could’ve woken from a nightmare about his childhood! It’s a little lazy, but better than nothing.

There’s a similar missed opportunity making Dr Lanselius a Witchling. If this idea had been introduced with the character in 1x4, it would’ve opened up so many storytelling possibilities. Linking to Fader Coram’s own dead witchling son. It could’ve given us that much-needed perspective on Witch culture. Imagine Lanselius’ bittersweet meeting with his ageless mother, who gave him up when he reached manhood. Then, when the Magisterium bombs the Witches in 2x2, Lanselius’ mother dies so it means something.

Instead it’s only used to facilitate an awkward exposition dump in the middle of a trial.

The point of this fanfic-y ramble is to illustrate my frustration with the additions; If Thorne had committed and meaningfully expanded and interwoven them with the source material, they could’ve strengthened its weakest aspect (the characters). But instead he stays committed to novelistic storytelling techniques of monologue and two people standing in a room talking at each other

(Seriously, count the number of scenes that are just two people standing in a room or corridor talking to each other. No interesting staging, the characters aren’t doing anything else while talking. They. Just. Stand.)

SEASON 2 IMPROVEMENTS

S2 improved some things- Lyra's characterisation was more book-accurate, her dynamic with Will was wonderful. Citigazze looked incredible. LMM won lots of book fans over as Lee. Mary was brilliantly cast. Now there are less Daemons, they're better characterised- Pan gets way more to do now and Hester had some lovely moments.

I genuinely believe 2x1, 2x3, 2x4 and 2x5 are the best HDM has been.

But new problems arose. The Subtle Knife lost the central, easy to understand drive of Northern Lights (finding the missing kids) for lots of smaller quests. As a result, everyone spends the first two episodes of S2 waiting for the plot to arrive. The big inciting incident of Lyra’s plotline is the theft of the alethiometer, which doesn’t happen until 2x3. Similarly, Lee doesn’t search for John until 2x3. Mrs Coulter doesn’t go looking for Lyra until 2x3.

On top of missing a unifying dramatic drive, the characters now being split across 3 worlds, instead of the 1+a bit of ours in S1, means the pacing/crosscutting problems (long establishing shots, repetition of information, undercutting momentum) are even worse. The narrative feels scattered and incohesive.

These flaws are inherent to the source material and are not the show’s fault, but neither does it do much to counterbalance or address them, and the flaws of the show combine with the difficulties of TSK as source material and make each other worse.

A lot of this has been entitled fanboy bitching, but you can't deny the show is in a bad place ratings-wise. It’s gone from the most watched new British show in 5 years to the S2 premiere having a smaller audience than the lowest-rated episode of Doctor Who Series 12. For comparison, DW's current cast and showrunner are the most unpopular since the 80s, some are actively boycotting it, it took a year-long break between series 11 and 12, had its second-worst average ratings since 2005, and costs a fifth of what HDM does to make. And it's still being watched by more people.

Critical consensus fluctuates wildly. Most laymen call the show slow and boring. The show is simultaneously too niche and self-absorbed to attract a wide audience and gets just enough wrong to aggravate lots of fans.

I’m honestly unsure if S3 will get the same budget. I want it to, if only because of my investment in the books. Considering S2 started filming immediately after S1 aired, I think they've had a lot more time to process and apply critique for S3. On the plus side, there's so much plot in The Amber Spyglass it would be hard to have the same pacing problems. But also so many new concepts that I dread the exposition dumps.

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searchingwardrobes · 4 years

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So, in home school we just finished studying the age of industry, Teddy Roosevelt, and child labor reforms, and Newsies is on Disney + , so naturally, we had to watch it. I’m talking about the 1992 movie here, not the Broadway musical. Watching it again as an adult, I made quite a few new observations:

* “Depictions of tobacco use” lol Disney+, you crack me up. It’s a historical movie, I promise you none of my peers went out to buy cigars after watching this despite them singing “That’s my cigar. You’ll steal annuda.” (Neither did we steal any, just to clarify).

* Opening scene in the boarding house: Good Lord, now I know why my hormonal teenage self loved this movie!

* I don’t remember this much hip thrusting . . .

* Racetrack was on some tv show in the nineties, Google . . . Whoa! He’s got quite the career! Who knew. Doogie Howser, THAT’S IT!

* In the song Medda Sings at the Vaudeville theater, she’s singing about “hanky panky every night till three” I never paid attention to that as a kid, no wonder the men are cat calling. (And no wonder they changed the character on Broadway and cut that song!)

* Speaking of Medda, Ann-Margret was 51 when she made Newsies (thanks again, Google!). No wonder I thought it was creepy when she flirted with the teenage boys.

* “And this is my sister Sarah.” Most obvious set up of a love interest in cinema EVER.

* The Santa Fe dance! Oh, Christian Bale, this made me cringe even back then. I know you’ve said in interviews that you love talking to fans about Newsies, but you can NOT seriously tell me you don’t regret those dance moves.

* I thought maybe the Pulitzer scenes were only boring because I was immature. But nope, still boring.

* Jack sends newsies out to all of the boroughs and neighborhoods of New York, but it never says which one they represent. Manhattan, I guess?

* Why is everyone so afraid of Spot Conlon? The boys in Jack’s crew could easily take him, he’s so scrawny. And how did I have a crush on Spot when Christian Bale, David Moscow, heck even Bill Pullman were standing right there? Oh right, I was 14.

* How is Bryan Denton so loaded? He pays for lunch every time they go to that restaurant, and they fill up the place! Then he pays all of their fines when they are arrested - $5 per kid, times at least eight boys. That was a lot back then!

* Of all the things they cut for the Broadway musical, Sarah makes the most sense. She’s about as interesting as a dry piece of toast.

* Davey’s dramatically raising his hands up to the sky as he belts out “Arise and seize the day.” Oh dear.

* The “Seize the Day Reprise” - I LOVE this choreography! Great editing work too - you think the lead actors are dancing with the troupe, but they’re not.

* Why does Sarah push her chest and butt out when struggling against the Delancey brothers? Did the director tell her to do that? It looks so awkward. I have never in my life seen a female carry herself that way. Is she trying to hang on to her shawl? Is that belt she’s wearing too tight? Because I think the last thing on any woman’s mind when she’s being assaulted is “let me accentuate my breasts.”

* Boots tossing those newspapers into the air from the roof of that building is so iconic.

* “Once and For All” is really an underappreciated song.

* When the gang’s all waiting to see if any other child laborers show up for the march, Davey and Sarah seem way too cozy for brother and sister. Has anyone else noticed this? I have a brother. They don’t put their arms around you like THAT.

* I always thought Davey looked really good in that white shirt and newsboys cap.

* As many fond memories as I have of my childhood crush on Spot Conlon, I get why he isn’t in the Broadway version. His lines are kind of cheesy. “Never fear, Brooklyn is here.” “I say that what you say is what I say.” “On the grounds of Brooklyn, your honor.” Again, I was 14.

* The dancing at the end gives me so many feels! The dancing troupe in this was SO good.

God, I still love this movie! Cheesy lines, awkward dance movies, Sarah the boring love interest, and all. The kids liked it too - YES!

#newsies #newsies movie #newsies rewatch #newsies 1992

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goddessvicky · 5 years

Text

Blood Stained

Chapter Thirty: Falling Down

Goddessvicky / QueenVee1

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence Rating: Explicit - For all the swears and smut Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes/Darcy Lewis, Steve Rogers/Darcy Lewis, Bucky Barnes/Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers

In the weeks since she’d started seeing Zeke, Darcy had found herself endlessly amused by this utter lack of popular knowledge. Yes, he knew that The Hunger Games was a book and a movie, but he’d neither read the book nor seen the film. The same went for Harry Potter, the Alien saga, and one of her favorite movies, Major League. Things that Darcy could look back on with fond memories meant absolutely nothing to him.

She delighted in telling him about the things he’d missed during his quest to be the best engineer in the world, enjoying the faces he made when she explained some of the weirder bits of useless trivia that knocked around her head.

Jimmy Buffet played the ‘margarita guy’ in Jurassic World.

‘Washington’ is the most common name used in cities and towns. ‘Springfield’ is number two, and a Springfield can be found in forty-one different states.

Spiders hate the smell of peppermint.

Other than her self-imposed mission of pop culture downloading, Darcy discovered she actually really liked Zeke. He was sweet, and soft, and never made her feel like she was talking too much. She had a bad habit of dominating a conversation, but it appeared he either didn’t mind… or was more than happy to let her do the majority of the talking.

When he did talk, Zeke was captivating. She’d already known his enjoyment of flowers could be traced to his mother, but he’d elaborated and explained that his father had been the one who’d lit the engineering fire in his chest.

“He valued knowledge, and knew how to wield it effectively. It made him a great businessman,” Zeke explained. “He had a lot of good ideas about how to move the world into a new age of technology, but never had the chance to make it happen.”

Darcy’s face took on an empathetic expression. “He passed?”

Zeke nodded softly. “Murder. In 2008.”

The heartfelt gasp broke free from her chest, and Darcy’s eyes filled with compassion. “Oh, god, I’m so sorry, Zeke.”

“It’s okay. It’s been long enough that I use it for fuel more than anything. It keeps me going. Before I make any big decisions, I think ‘what would dad have done?’ He hasn’t steered me wrong yet.”

“What kind of big decisions?”

“Asking you on a date.”

Darcy’s grin widened when he blinked those gorgeous blue eyes at her. “Yeah? I got your dad’s seal of approval?”

“Without a doubt.”

“And if he’d thought I wasn’t worth the trouble?”

“... we’d have had words about our difference of opinion.”

Dinner was still sitting warmly in her stomach - as were three margaritas - but she still managed to find room for some peanut butter M&Ms. She followed behind Zeke as he found their seats in the half-empty movie theater. The leather seats were electric, and she couldn’t help the giggle of excitement as she pressed the button and lifted the legs. “This is super fancy!”

“I think the last movie I saw in the theaters was Casper.”

Eyes widening, Darcy turned toward him with a look of shock on her face. “What?! The Christina Ricci, Bill Pullman, Devon Sawa ghost movie?!”

“If those are the actors names, then yes.”

“Wow. Wow. Zeke.” The good natured roll of his eyes made her lips tug upward, and she held out her package of M&Ms toward him. “I’ve got so much to teach you.”

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pvrestwolff · 5 years

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---- pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name; but what's puzzling you is the nature of my game.

trident’s task 000; a detailed introduction.

---- basic information

full name: ekaterina mikhailovna aliena zamolodchikova-markovy. pronunciation: yeh-kah-ti-ree-nah // mik-hail-ovna // a-lye-na // zamol-ohd-chkova // m-ah-rk-oh-fi. meaning: ekaterina ( the name ekaterina is a russian name, the meaning is ‘pure’ ), mikhailovna ( the name mikhailovna is a russian name, the meaning is ‘daughter of mikhail’ ), aliena ( the name aliena is a belarusian and latin name, the meaning is ‘foreign’ or ‘stranger’ ), zamolodchikova ( the name zamolodchikova is a russian name, the meaning is ‘bold and dashing female’ ), markovy ( the name markovy is a russian and serbian name, the meaning is ‘of Mars, the god of war’ ) reasoning: ekaterina was named for a dear friend of natallia’s, while her first middle name came from her father, and her second came from natallia’s oldest sister anastasia’s middle name, the original heir to the throne. her last names are her father’s and her mother’s respectively. nickname(s): kati, kat, nina, erica. preferred name(s): ekaterina or erica, but she does not mind certain nicknames from certain people. birth date: january 11th 1988. age: thirty. zodiac: capricorn // rabbit yang fire or tiger yin fire. gender: female. pronouns: she/her. romantic orientation: platonipandemiromantic. sexual orientation: platonipansexual. nationality: belarusian, russian. ethnicity: caucasian, ashkenazi jewish. current location: tulach island. living conditions: mediocre, living in the tulach house. title(s): crown princess of belarus, princess, belarus’ heir, grand duchess of vitebsk, the demon queen of minsk (colloquial),

---- background

birth place: the palace of snov, minsk, belarus. hometown: minsk, belarus. social class: royalty, upper. education level: masters degree. father: mikhail zamolodchikov-markovy. mother: natallia zamolodchikova-markovy. adopted?: no. sibling(s): two younger sisters and one younger brother. birth order: eldest. children: none. pet(s): daisy (maltese shih-tzu) and jay (labrador kelpie). other important relatives: tatiana nikolaevna ( cousin ), anya nikolaevna ( cousin ), ainsley dùghlas ( cousin ), alexander romanov-nikolaevna ( uncle ), nataliya kashkanov-nikolaevna ( aunt ), gavin dùghlas ( uncle ) and anastasia markovy-dùghlas ( aunt ). ( @tatiana-nikolaevna, @anyanik, @hrhxainsley ) previous relationships: charles flanagan ( first crush, murder accomplice ), grace thomas ( ex-girlfriend ), luka rossi ( ex-lover ) and unnamed prince ( ex-lover ). ( @classiciisms, @luka-rossi )

---- skills & abilities

physical strength: exceptionally strong for her size, she’s quite good at the salmon ladder and deadlifts. teamwork: she can and will butt heads with strong personalities or stupid people, but always works to reach the goal. talents: running, swordplay, fencing, knife handling, gun-handling, hand-to-hand combat, martial arts, ballroom dancing, adaptability, interpersonal skills, sketching, linguistics, communication, cryptography, symbology, and bdsm. shortcomings: intrapersonal skills, trust issues, manipulative. language(s) spoken: belarusian ( first language ), russian ( first language ), ukrainian, english, italian, french, gaelic, yiddish, hebrew, latin. drive?: yes for a car, yes for a motorcycle. ride a bicycle?: yes. swim?: yes. play an instrument?: piano, violin. play chess?: yes. pick a lock?: yes.

---- physical appearance & characteristics

face claim: lyndsy fonseca. eye color: blue, with a hazel ring around the pupil. hair color: honey brown hair type/style: thin and soft but abundant, naturally curly, normally sits at shoulder length but has gone uncut since being on the island. dominant hand: right, though when she was younger attempted to become ambidextrous. height: 5′4″. weight: 135lbs, but has lost muscle and weight since being on the island. exercise habits: every other day, early morning, erica would normally go for a 5km run outside. depending on her schedule, she will also practice either her fencing, her martial arts, go to the gym for strength training. the mornings she does not run she will spend her time doing yoga. skin tone: tan/olive. tattoos: a tiger on her left middle finger, a butterfly on the back of her neck, four birds on her left forearm, a sun and two stars behind her right ear, a tree on the right of her torso and hermes wings on the outsides of both her ankles. piercings: firsts, seconds, belly button, right ear helix. marks/scars: what look like straight and accurate cuts all over her body from her training, the scars are on her arms in particular, though they have faded and are not immediately noticeable. notable features: eyes, lips, hands, legs, ass. usual expression: resting bitch face. clothing style: neat blouses, skirts, heels, vests, a jacket, comfortable pants and the heaviest boots she can find. jewelry: none. allergies: none. body temperature: her body is warmer than most, and as a result environments feel much colder for her. diet: strict vegetarian, also tends to avoid eating eggs or smoking cigarettes that use castoreum when she can. physical ailments: short-sightedness, astigmatisms.

---- psychology

mbti type: entj-t ( the commander ) or istj-t ( the logistician ). //** technically untypable due to borderline personality disorder. enneagram type: type 8w7 ( the challenger, wing is the enthusiast ). moral alignment: chaotic neutral, borders on chaotic evil at times. temperament: choleric. element: earth. primary intelligence type: linguistic, logical, kinesthetic, musical. approximate IQ: 135, superior intelligence. mental conditions/disorders: borderline personality disorder, minor depression, obsessive-compulsive tendencies and sociopathic tendencies, sociability: usually an observer, cold until she can trust people and often uses a façade and flattery to win people over for her own benefit. emotional stability: no. obsession(s): looking after her weaponry, literature and keeping organised notes on everything in her life. compulsion(s): neatness. phobia(s): autophobia, atychiphobia, atelophobia. addiction(s): currently -- nicotine, alcohol and caffeine. previously -- cocaine and mdma. prone to violence? yes.

---- mannerisms

speech style: while speaking in languages she is fluent in, ekaterina speaks quickly and smoothly, but while speaking in english, she can converse well but not as quickly, she may pause to find the correct word or misuse idioms, sayings or phrases. accent: a mix of belarusian and russian, which has softened after staying in english speaking countries long enough. quirks: smoothing down dog-eared pages of books, running her fingers along the rim of glasses she is drinking from, hyper-focusing on work that must be done until it is finished, giving people special nicknames and standing on top of buildings to stargaze. hobbies: exercising, fencing, martial arts, reading, playing piano, exploring new places, sketching, creating/using ciphers for her journals, assassinations and murder. habits: adjusting her glasses constantly ( when she wears them ), flexing her hands, switching between languages and sharpening her knives ( when she has them ). nervous tics: running her fingers through her hair, tapping her middle finger and her thumb together and disassembling and reassembling her guns ( when she has them ). drives/motivations: power, ambition, freedom, justice, duty and loyalty. fears: rejection, failure, losing her loved ones and being totally alone. positive traits: rational, adaptable and powerful. negative traits: sadistic, manipulative and ruthless. sense of humor: dark and sarcastic. do they curse often? yes.

---- favourites

activity: swordplay and fencing. animal: tigers and bluebirds. beverage: anything alcoholic. otherwise, coffee. book: the great gatsby by f. scott fitzgerald, frankenstein by mary shelley, do androids dream of electric sheep? by philip k. dick, the elenium by david eddings, the hogfather by terry pratchett, his dark materials by philip pullman, the wizard of oz by frank l. baum, alice in wonderland by lewis carroll, the illuminae files by amie kaufman and jay kristoff, the starbound trilogy by amie kaufman and meagan spooner and inkheart by cornelia funke. color: purple and gold. food: strawberries, or any type of berry. flower: tiger lily. gem: rainbow moonstone. holiday: new year’s eve. mode of transportation: motorcycle. movie: reservoir dogs, kill bill, jeux d’enfants, indiana jones, monty python, studio ghibli, anastasia, fight club, pulp fiction and the princess bride. musical artist: stevie wonder, the four tops, the supremes, phil collins, no doubt, gwen stefani, tatu, pvris, bastille, sia, the beatles, andrew belle, the temptations and fleetwood mac. quote/saying: “we know what we are, but know not what we may be.” scenery: forests. scent: petrichor, strawberry and coffee, sport: fencing, lacrosse and soccer. television show: she doesn’t watch tv. weather: cloudy and mild.

---- attitudes

greatest dream: denying her claim to the belarusian throne and experiencing true freedom. greatest fear: rejection, failure, losing her loved ones, being totally alone and ascending to the throne. most at ease when: drinking, smoking and reading a book. least at ease when: powerless, weak and when she does not know something she feels she should. worst possible thing that could happen: her entire family is killed because of her actions. biggest achievement ( to date ): managing to maintain a semi-normal relationship with grace and reducing crimes in belarus through deals with members of organised criminal syndicates. biggest regret: allowing charlie to disappear from her life, manipulating the two princes and ruining her first betrothal. most embarrassing moment: ekaterina does not do embarrassing things. biggest secret: she finds special pleasure in killing those who deserve it. top priorities: self-preservation, freedom, protecting loved ones.

#task000 #//** THIS TOOK ME A DAY TO FILL OUT #♛ [ ** 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 ⁎⁎ ] PRINCESS EKATERINA #trident;task #☾ [ ** 𝘢 𝘱𝘶𝘻𝘻𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘵𝘺 ⁎⁎ ] TASKS

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moviemumbojumbo · 10 years

Text

17 Ridiculous Sequels That We're Totally Gonna Go See

This is unbelievable, but actually pretty believable, because them Hollywooders be like "money! money! money!" Some of these are more ridiculous than others, some you might already know about, and some will blow your mind, or as us bloggers like to say "it will change your life forever."

1. Beetlejuice 2

It's very early in Beetlejuice 2 development, but apparently it's a thing, and apparently it's going to involve Michael Keaton and Tim Burton. Hmmmm. Tim Burton isn't exactly on a hot streak. Michael Keaton OWNS the Beetlejuice character and will no doubt nail it again. But I mean, I saw him nail it already, sooo this is ridiculous, and yes, I will go see it.

2. Ghostbusters 3

Well we've been hearing about this for like, years. No one has been really that excited about it, and unfortunately one of the most important contributors to Ghostbusters, Harold Ramis, has passed away. Bill Murray doesn't want to be in it. Ivan Reitman is producing but not directing. HOWEVER we are now reading that Paul Feig is signed on to direct it and it will star an all-female ghostbusters team. Hey, that's kind of exciting, especially considering the chicks that Paul Feig has worked with. Please put Annie Potts in it! Please please put Annie Potts in it! She can be the secretary again! Please!

3. Dumb and Dumber To:

I was actually kind of really excited about Dumb and Dumber To, once again staring Jeff Daniels and Jim Carrey, but after seeing the trailer, EYE ROLL. If the best jokes are in the trailer, then we don't have much to look forward to in this movie. Dumb and Dumber wasn't exactly a high brow comedy, but at least the jokes made sense in some sort of dumb guy universe. Many people are going to see it. I'll rent it. This November, Dumb just got Dumber. (I thought of that line)

4. Bill & Ted 3

Jesus Christ. How does this even work? Are Keanu Reeves and that other dude going to pretend to be idiot teenagers? Maybe the movie will just start in the "future" where these stupid unfunny teenagers are stuck as middle-aged men. It's a good thing the plot involved time travel! Phew! Were the first two Bill & Ted movies any good in the first place? I don't actually remember because it was TWENTY FUCKING YEARS AGO. Anyway, Keanu Reeves says there's a script. Bogus.

5. Beverly Hills Cop 4

This is full on happening, Eddie Murphy is involved, and it's being filmed in Detroit. This seems stupid, but for some reason, I don't hate this idea. I have not seen the second and third films, so maybe I'm just being naive. Were the sequels funny? Is Eddie Murphy still awesome?

6. Blade Runner 2

Well, this is based on a book, so fine. But I don't understand why they waited so long. A lot has happened to Harrison Ford since the first movie. Most recently, Expendables 3 happened to Harrison Ford. Nevertheless, Ridley Scott is set to direct and Ford is set to star. The script is apparently written, and there's a website. When Blade Runner came out, there were no websites.

7. Dodgeball 2

It will star Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn. The news I am finding is over a year old, so I guess that means the project is getting dragged out a bit or whatever. I don't know.

8. The Goonies 2

WHAAAAAAAAT? WHAATTT? This one blows my mind the most. I should put it at the bottom or the top of this list but then I would have to renumber everything, so fuck that. Just know it's the most ridiculous. I can't even imagine what in god's name this movie will be like. I can't even start to guess. I do not know. The original director Richard Donner is somehow still alive and he's into it. According to news, it's been "in the works" for quite a long time. Here's Josh Brolin celebrating the Goonies THIRTIETH anniversary and fielding a question about the sequel.

9. Independence Day 2

I mean, OK. Whatever. There's no Will Smith but there is Bill Pullman and Jeff Goldblum. According to Screenrant, it's coming out on July 4, 2015. Clever.

Screenrant:

The sequel will pick up in real-time, some twenty years after the first movie. However, co-writers Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich (the latter is returning to direct) have revealed that ID4-2 takes place in an alternate present-day reality, where humanity has spent the last two decades harvesting the alien technology featured in the first movie.

There's already a second sequel. They are calling it ID Forever Part 1 & Part 2, which is kind of confusing. And also very ambitious, especially with no Fresh Prince. This isn't the Hunger Games, so good luck with that. Who am I kidding, this will make shit tons of money....Ok, I'm actually very bored writing about this.

10. Jurassic World

News says it's directed by Colin Trevorrow, whose breakout project was Safety Not Gauranteed, so he's an indie guy. Maybe two dinosaurs will fall in love and listen to the shins together! Jurassic World stars Chris Pratt and Judy Greer.

11. Rambo 5

Sylvester says he's started to train for it. According to Screenrant, he's going to battle a Mexican drug cartel threat, which sounds like a totally new and original idea to me.

12. Rounders 2

Something about a card game in Paris. Matt Damon's in, and my guess is that his poker-addicted character will go to Paris for one last job before he retires. Harvey Weinstein is producing it after some boring Hollywood Miramax business split-off merger or whatever who cares.

13. Magic Mike XXL

Of course this movie's release will be a Movie Mumbo Jumbo main event showdown. The E! news says that production just started! Everyone wag yo dicks around at each other in celebration because this is happening! It's being shot as we speak! Soderbergh is pushing it forward, and he didn't wait until Channing Tatum was 72 to do it. Soderbergh is not directing, but is doing all of the other important jobs (DP, editor, cameraman). AND AND AND the best news of all is that it will be a straight up stripper movie unlike the first. It's a sequel so they plan to "swing for the fences" according to Tatum. Tatum also said that the whole movie is a bunch of shiny dudes, wildly swinging their dicks all over the place including on fences, at a stripper convention. Or something like that.

14. Taken 3

Bryan Mills, played by Liam Neesom, has really bad luck. And I don't know why people keep messing with him. He has a special set of skills. Haven't they learned that yet? Here's the proof of this movie.

15. Zoolander 2

This is majorly TBD. I've been waiting for this for years. And thank goodness Ben Stiller is in awesome shape and STILL totally looks like a hot young supermodel. Ben Stiller produced, directed, and co-wrote the first one, and according to news he would be writing the new script with Justin Theroux, who will be directing it. Lady Gaga was said to be offered a role at one point. But in most recent news, it seems as though Stiller is too busy to do it right now. He's a hollywood big shot, and I want to see Zoolander 2!

16. Clerks III

Kevin Smith was clearly stoned when he tweeted this. However, he wrote the script and it was going to get made by the Weinsteins until they saw that it would cost 6 million bones (not very much money for them). But Kevin Smith tweeted this summer that it will still be made. I wouldn't know what to expect from this sequel, but I would hope that it wouldn't be very shiny and blockbuster looking, just like the old ones. The 6 million dollar budget tells me that might be true.

Honorable Mention:

Three more ridiculous sequels that we are definitely NOT going to go see but deserve a mention are Shakespeare in Love 2 Horrible Bosses 2 Men in Black 4

What the!?

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justamadgirlinabox · 2 years

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I posted 299 times in 2021

10 posts created (3%)

289 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 28.9 posts.

I added 324 tags in 2021

#marvel - 92 posts

#bill pullman - 55 posts

#tom hiddleston - 29 posts

#bucky barnes - 27 posts

#loki spoilers - 22 posts

#writing - 21 posts

#sebastian stan - 21 posts

#the sinner - 20 posts

#falcon and winter solider spoilers - 19 posts

#doctor who - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 53 characters

#yes i clearly dug for one with this particular hastag

My Top Posts in 2021

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Pietro Maximoff: Keep up, old man!

Hawkeye: Nobody would know. Nobody. "The last I saw him, Ultron was sitting on him. Uh... yeah, he'll be missed. That quick little bastard. I miss him already..."

7 notes • Posted 2021-04-29 17:59:41 GMT

But what is grief, if not love persevering?

Vision, WandaVision 1x08

7 notes • Posted 2021-03-25 22:10:42 GMT

The West Wing 1x1: Pilot

President Josiah Bartlet: May I have some coffee, Mr. Louis? Al, how many times have I asked you to denounce the practices of a fringe group that calls itself the Lambs of God?

Rev. Al Caldwell: Sir, that's not up to me.

President Josiah Bartlet: Crap! It is up to you, Al. You know, my wife Abby, she never wants me to do anything when I'm upset. Thank you, Mr. Louis. Twenty-eight years ago, I came home from a very bad day at the statehouse, I tell Abby I'm going out for a drive. I get in the station wagon, put it in reverse, and pulled out of the garage full speed. Except, I forgot to open the garage door! Abby told me not to drive while I was upset, and she was right. She was right yesterday when she told me not to get on that damned bicycle while I was upset, but I did it anyway. And I guess I was just about as angry as I've ever been in my life. Seems my granddaughter Annie had given an interview to one of those teen magazines, and somewhere between movie stars and make-up tips, she talked about her feelings on a woman's right to choose. Now Annie, all of twelve, has always had a good head on her shoulders, and I like it when she uses it. So I couldn't understand it when her mother called me in tears yesterday. I said "Elizabeth, what's wrong?" She said "It's Annie." Now, I love my family, and I've read my Bible from cover to cover, so I want you to tell me, from what part of Holy Scripture do you suppose the Lambs of God drew their divine inspiration when they sent my twelve-year-old granddaughter a Raggedy Anne Doll with a knife stuck through its throat? You'll denounce these people, Al, you'll do it publicly, and until you do, you can all get your fat asses out of my White House. C.J., show these people out.

Mary Marsh: I believe we can find the door.

President Josiah Bartlet: Find it now.

8 notes • Posted 2021-02-27 17:47:38 GMT

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Clint: Okay, look. the city is flying. We're fighting an army of robots. And I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense. But I'm going back out there because it's my job. Okay? And I can't do my job and babysit. It doesn't matter what you did, or what you were. If you go out there, you fight, and you fight to kill. Stay in here, you're good. I'll send your brother to come find you. But if you step out that door, you are an Avenger.

8 notes • Posted 2021-02-16 22:22:56 GMT

The Dora Milaje have jurisdiction wherever the Dora Milaje find themselves to be.

Ayo, The Falcon and The Winter Soldier

16 notes • Posted 2021-04-09 22:11:29 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

0 notes

aion-rsa · 3 years

Text

Why You Should Watch The Sinner on Netflix

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Why do we love detective series so much? Perhaps our little human brains are attracted to mystery. What is our experience with the world at large if not one big mystery to uncover? Or perhaps it’s the promise of answers within that mystery that compels us so. Certainly those are big factors but one aspect of detective stories’ appeal can’t be overlooked: the detective themselves.

From a nuts and bolts storytelling perspective, there is probably no more ready-made protagonist than a good detective. A detective is like the viewer themselves – thrust into unfamiliar circumstances and then asked to use their skills of observation and deduction to figure that situation out. The appeal of a good detective story is truly elemental. And that’s why you should be watching USA Network’s The Sinner, all three seasons of which are now on Netflix.

The Sinner premiered on USA Network in 2017. It was originally intended as an eight-part miniseries based on German writer Petra Hammesfahr’s 1999 novel of the same name. The show relocated Hammesfahr’s mystery from Germany to upstate New York to tell a self-contained tale about one detective taking a second look at what appeared to be an open and shut case.

Bill Pullman (still the best fictional U.S. president ever) stars as Harry Ambrose, a bearded, surly police detective who tends to pick up on things no one else notices. The first season saw Ambrose investigating the case of Cora Tannetti (Jessica Biel), a traumatized woman who randomly stabs a stranger to death on a beach after seeing him kiss his girlfriend. The story of Cora evolves over eight episodes and in perfect detective series fashion, proves that everything might not be what it seems.

Despite burning through their source material (and the ultra successful Jessica Biel’s availability), The Sinner opted to anthologize its format, bringing Pullman back for Ambrose in season 2. That season debuted in 2018 and co-starred Carrie Coon as a mother to a troubled child. The third season premiered in 2020 and featured Matt Bomer as a popular teacher who got in a mysterious, fatal car crash. That third season just arrived on Netflix this month.

If none of this sounds particularly novel or groundbreaking, that’s kind of the point. Through three seasons, The Sinner hasn’t done much differently from the hundreds of equally capable detective stories that precede it. And you know what that makes it? A great detective story that’s still worth watching.

Do You Have to Watch The Sinner in Order?

Each season of The Sinner focuses on a new crime story, and on a new individual. The show’s interest in the troubled people at the center of these crimes extends to the point where each season is named after them. Season 1 is called “Cora,” 2 is “Julian”, and 3 is “Jamie.” Each and every time around, Detective Harry Ambrose is the mostly static presence while the new people around him prove to be new, interesting, and particularly unassuming.

That particular dynamic makes the experience of watching each season even more distinct than a typical anthology series. It’s entirely possible to watch the show in whichever order one should choose. Netflix even currently has the seasons presented out of order, with the newest “Jamie” appearing as the first option in the show’s queue. In fact, each season contains only a few oblique references to Harry’s previous cases each time. In the season 3 premiere for instance, Harry’s superior officer mentions that he’s appeared stressed ever since “ever since that case last summer with that god damned kid.”

Now that reference likely means a hell of a lot to anyone who watched season 2 and Harry’s experience with that god damned kid. But for the viewer coming to the story for the first time, that sentence communicates pretty much everything we need to know about Harry already. It’s no different from a brief line of expository dialogue included in a self-contained detective movie. The guy is stressed. Why? Because he’s seen some stuff, now let’s move on.

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Anthology series may still feel like a relatively new phenomenon on television, but in the hardboiled detective story world, there are essentially a given. Detective fiction is truly ancient (some scholars believe it spans to the Old Testament), but our conception of what makes the backbone of detective fiction in the West basically begins with Sherlock Holmes. And since Holmes, the anthological format has been largely unchanged. The detective stays the same and the cases change.

We can see that on television in series such as Strike, Mr. Mercedes, and more. The Sinner isn’t seeking to upend the formula – only to work as well as it can within it. The fact that each installment is particularly distinct is a bonus for anyone who wants to dive into whichever quick eight-episode mystery they choose. Add Bill Pullman’s workmanlike upstate New York accent into that and you’ve got yourself a sleuthy winner.

The post Why You Should Watch The Sinner on Netflix appeared first on Den of Geek.

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justanothercinemaniac · 7 years

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Epic Movie (Re)Watch #193 - Pacific Rim

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes, #242.

Format: Blu-ray

Raleigh: “When alien life entered our world it was from deep beneath the Pacific Ocean.”

This is actually a really interesting concept and break from the usual alien invasion movies. It keeps the movie incredibly sci-fi but gives the monsters a much more earthy quality to them. And opening the movie with the idea establishes the world we live in right away. In fact, the entire prologue does an excellent job of clearly and quickly establishing the world of Pacific Rim (I consider the prologue everything before Raleigh and Yancy go and fight the monster, even though the film’s title takes 16 minutes to show up).

2) The monsters in this film are referred to as Kaiju and that fact shows the incredible respect the filmmakers are showing to the genre they’re playing in. For those of you who don’t know, giant monster movies made in Japan like Godzilla, Mothra, Rodan, etc. are referred to as Kaiju films so just by embracing that genre name for this film shows they’re playing in a similar world. I just like that that’s the path they went down.

3) Ramin Djawdi’s score for Pacific Rim is absolutely kickass. The German composer is probably most known for his work on the first Iron Man and “Game of Thrones”, so audiences for those projects are familiar with the fact that Djawdi can get you pumped through music. Pacific Rim is no battle, with the main theme being an electric guitar heavy and absolutely energizing anthem of badassery that gets the audience ready for battle. I suggest everyone listens to it.

4) Charlie Hunam as Raleigh

Raleigh is rough around the edges but in a way the audience can appreciate. He’s not a jackass, he’s not a jerk, he’s just a bit macho. But he’s still a nice guy (not Nice Guy™), showing kindness to much of the cast of characters throughout the film (Mako, Pentecost). There’s an old school roguish charm to him, but Hunam is also able to play the grief that marks Raleigh for a lot of the film.

Raleigh: “I was still connected to my brother when he died.”

That is an incredibly rich and unique conflict, to know what it feels like to die and live while also knowing that’s what your family felt in their last moments. Hunam is able to work with this well in a number of scenes and while at time his American accent can be a bit distracting his performance overall is damn good.

5) This film does a very good job of establishing minor and supporting characters so that even if they only have a few minutes of screen time you remember them. This includes Yancy, Choi, and all the other Jaeger pilots. Through combined visual design and unique character writing, they stand out.

6) The first Kaiju/Jaeger fight - while not the best in the film - still strongly establishes the film’s intense action. It is important for the audience to know the rules in these fights early on. To know that the Kaiju and Jaeger are close to equally matched; neither is swifter, neither is bigger, it’s a really intense skirmish between opponent of equal size and strength. Establishing that well early on is important and exactly what this film did.

7) Idris Elba as Marshall Pentecost

I think Elba gives the best performance in the entire film. Pentecost is such an enigmatic character, he’s not an open book, but instead of feeling underdeveloped (which is a risk with such characters) he’s interesting. You can tell there’s more to Pentecost than we’re being told because Elba works so well wight he part. He just radiates leadership and authority in a multifaceted performance. You get his hard edges, his no nonsense behavior, his occasional jackassery, a caring father figure, a loyal soldier, and a driven man all in one package that is Idris Elba. I fucking love Elba in this film.

8) Rinko Kikuchi as Mako.

Mako’s awesome. I love Mako. She’s…it’s hard to put into words. She’s an incredible strong character with deep rooted conflict and motivations which Kikuchi is able to carry with her always. This conflict is good because it strongly influences Mako’s choices in the film, which in and of themselves can breed more conflict. You can just tell that while Mako is good in her current position as Pentecost’s assistant(?) that she can do SO much more. You understand that through the way she interacts with Raleigh, the ease she handles the tasks given to her, you know she’s not reached her full potential yet even though she wants to. And you just freaking root for her to go further, to get what she wants, something which I think is equal parts Kikuchi’s performance and the writing for the character. It’s also worth noting her platonic relationship with Elba is very strong and helps develop both characters.

9) Burn Gorman and Charlie Day as both crazy strong in their roles also, breathing such life and fun into their parts and the film as large. The strong bickering Newt and Herman is incredibly fun to watch and while Day does get more time to shine as Newt that doesn’t mean Herman is any less interesting. They’re both such a fun team to watch.

10) Something director Guillermo Del Toro is able to do incredibly well across all his films - largely through production design and practical sets/effects - is that he creates a world which is fully alive. Just from looking at it you get an understanding of how it works, how it’s different from our world. It is striking, full of life, and totally unique.

11) Mako’s candidate trial.

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Did I mention I love Mako? Because I do. And this scene just makes me love her more. The connection and kinship she is able to immediately establish with Raleigh is crazy good. It just FEELS right watching the pair of them on screen. Their relationship is in many ways the heart of this film and this scene gets you invested in them. You just know that they’re the right for each other.

12) Newt’s decision to drift with a Kaiju is a strong example of stakes. How far he’ll go to do what he think is the best thing to do because the alternative of doing nothing isn’t good enough. I dig it.

13) One thing I like is that Mako isn’t really sexualized or objectified in any way. I don’t even think we get a shot of her half naked or anything. The film shows off how sexy Raleigh’s body is more than it does Mako’s and I really freaking love that.

14) There are a few comparisons to make between this film and Independence Day. The fact that it’s humanity fighting against alien invaders (even though these aliens are from below the sea) is one thing, but then we learn this.

Newt: “These being, these colonists, they take over worlds…”

It’s very similar to how Bill Pullman notes the aliens in Independence Day are like locusts, moving from world to world and taking over natural resources. There are more coming up, and it’s not even a comparison of quality or saying one is a ripoff of the other, it’s more just I like the similarities because I like both films.

15) Mako’s backstory.

Through showing us Mako’s backstory, not just telling us, the film makes it all the stronger. It perfectly explains her motivations and stakes throughout the film in a way which is simple, elegant, and ready to remember. Also the way the film cuts between Mako’s memory, Raleigh in Mako’s memory, and the real world of Gypsy Danger is very strong. All in all, it’s just a strong example of backstory.

16) Ron Perlman as Hannibal Chou.

Okay, Ron Perlman is always a wonderful character actor. I have never seen a Ron Perlman performance which I have not liked. He just breathes this consistent charisma, energy, and fun into every performance he has ever given so Chou is no different. While he may be more devious and deceitful than say Hellboy, Perlman has no less fun with the part and just makes Hannibal Chou one of the surprise stand out characters in the film.

17) The first Jaeger fight with the Kaiju in Tokyo is just plain fun, a nice prologue to the upcoming Gypsy Danger fight but one that steps up the Kaiju VS Jaeger fun introduced in the film’s opening.

18) Gypsy Danger VS Kaiju.

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The extended fight sequence is 100% fucking awesome! A perfect collaboration of, “oh that’s so cool!” and some, “oh that’s so stupid!” moments but in a way that is totally fun. It’s giant robot vs giant monster entertainment at its purest in a way which is just totally entertaining. Some highlights from the fight include:

Raleigh: “I think this guy’s dead, but let’s check for a pulse. (They shoot him with a plasma gun.) No pulse.”

THEY USE A FREAKING CARGO BOAT TO BEAT ON THE KAIJU LIKE IT’S A BASEBALL BAT!

THE KAIJU HAS WINGS! OH MY GOD THAT’S SO COOL!

And of course…

THEY’VE GOT A FREAKING SWORD!!!!!

More than anything else the best scene in the film (which this is) shows off all the imagination which can go into one of these fights and all of Gypsy Danger’s skills as a fighter.

19) Is this really necessary?

Newt [examining the dead Kaiju]: “It’s pregnant.”

This whole moment feels a little extra. Like, couldn’t the Kaiju brain just be intact after the fight? Although it does lead to Hannibal’s “death” and a great post credits scene.

20) Okay, I’m tearing up a little bit at the goodbye Pentecost has with Mako before he gets in a Jaeger. Because they both know this will kill him and I just…okay, I’m good.

21) The best speech since Independence Day.

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22) Something I haven’t really talked about yet is drifting. Drifting with another person in the context of the film is such an intimate and strong connection. It is pure relationship, pure honesty, and I freaking love it.

23) The climactic fight with the category five fight is really a dual fight between the two Kaiju in a well paced, choreographed, and smoothly edited moment. You are never taken out of the moment during the fight due to shoddy craftsmanship, it is all just really smooth.

24) I think the final dive into the breach is really well done because there is a genuine question of if Raleigh will survive or not. The first time I saw this I thought for sure he would die and they wait until the last minute possible to get him out there, just upping the tension throughout. It’s really strong.

24.1) The final thing in this movie that reminds me of Independence Day is Raleigh sending his ship right into the enemy to explode feels a lot like this:

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

25) I actually love that this movie doesn’t end with Raleigh and Mako kissing. You can head canon it as anyway you want. I see it as platonic, but you can also see it as they know each other better than anyone else so they don’t need to kiss to know how they feel about each other. I just find it very strong.

26) Remember how I mentioned a post credits scene in note #19?

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Pacific Rim is just really incredibly fun. You can tell that Guillermo Del Toro is enjoying the world he helps to build, with sheer amazing giant robot vs giant monster action. The character drama and motivations are surprisingly poignant, the actors are incredibly strong, the writing is top notch, and it’s just...it’s so freaking good. It’s so freaking FUN! Go watch it. Now. Do it! Please! It’s that good.

#Pacific Rim #Guillermo Del Toro #Idris Elba #Charlie Hunnam #Rinko Kikuchi #Charlie Day #Burn Gorman #Ron Perlman #Epic Movie (Re)Watch #Movie #Film #GIF

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dank-rituals · 6 years

Note

Answer all the "solid answers" ask that you just reblogged. ALL.

1) Sexuality?I’m like a 1.75 on the Kinsey Scale

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Dan Harmon probably, idk

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.“…is nice and pleasure is good for you, you will probably hear a lot of…”

4) What do you think about most?Dungeons & Dragons & Depression

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?“Ummm wanna try a Friday night during shows?”

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?Boxers or PJ pants

7) What’s your strangest talent?If I think about a specific episode of a TV show, that’s the rerun that will be on that night

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)Girls! It’s girls that make the love go ‘round!🎵; Boys, let’s keelhaul this traitor!

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?A song once

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?Earlier today I believe

11) Do you have any strange phobias?Terrified of cephalopods, and when potatoes grow in your cupboard

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?Not very far?

13) What’s your religion?Discordian Sith

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?Walking to work 🤕

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?Neither? On stage

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?Breaking Benjamin, they write songs that sound like my depression

17) What was the last lie you told?Told customers that suck that they should have a good night. They should not, they should have a sucky night cuz they suck.

18) Do you believe in karma?No, I’d like to but come on

19) What does your URL mean?It’s the word vampyre with my initials (came up with it in middle school and never changed)

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?Depression/Sloth, idk strengths are hard to find

21) Who is your celebrity crush?Have lots but top of the list is Alexandra Daddario

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?Nope

23) How do you vent your anger?I yell a lot when I’m alone

24) Do you have a collection of anything?I collect Magic Cards, Heroclix, Books, Games, bunch of other crap

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?On the phone I guess, never liked video chatting

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?Gods no, fuck that guy

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?The vacuum cleaner at work; genuine laughter

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?She hadn’t hung herself

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?I like the idea of ghosts but who knows, and there’s gotta be life out there

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.My dresser, and a blanket

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?My pillow

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?Well I live in Warsaw lol Atlantic City was pretty gross

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?East Coast

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?Taylor Momsen

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?Passion, find explore and indulge in them and your life will be fulfilled

36) Define Art.Art is the craft of pursuing beauty

37) Do you believe in luck?I play too many dice games not to

38) What’s the weather like right now?-2°F, feels like -17°F with windchill

39) What time is it?1:42 AM

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?Yes, no luckily

41) What was the last book you read?It’s been awhile, I was rereading animorphs I think

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?Yeah

43) Do you have any nicknames?No I have lots of names, Charlie and Mike predominantly

44) What was the last movie you saw?Star Wars I think?

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?Injury? Um…a black eye I guess? Most of my shit came from cancer not injuries

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?I don’t think so?

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?A million different D&D things (Fervor Domain clerics you guys 😍), my beautiful friends have taken to sharing intimate photos on Tumblr, characters for a novel I started a few years ago, and like a million other things I’m obsessive.

48) What’s your sexual orientation?Is there a difference between this and question 1?

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?Yeah, we used to make shit up at Darien Lake because people gossips about us

50) Do you believe in magic?Music and Love are the most powerful magics there are

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?Not really

52) What is your astrological sign?Capricorn

53) Do you save money or spend it?Spend it

54) What’s the last thing you purchased?Chicken Wings

55) Love or lust?Both? Both is good

56) In a relationship?Hahahaha no

57) How many relationships have you had?The official counter reads 6

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?Nope

59) Where were you yesterday?Hornell, I got to meet Bill Pullman

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?Sakura’s hair on my wall scroll thing, and some Heroclix

61) Are you wearing socks right now?Nope

62) What’s your favorite animal?Ravens and Weasels

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?So I try to be funny and charming and whatever and then like everyone who’s ever liked me ends up telling me it’s because I’m cute when I’m a dork so I guess that’s my secret cap

64) Where is your best friend?One of them is in Varysburg the other in Sanborn

65) Spit or swallow?(;Swallow

66) What is your heritage?I’m a quarter Awkasane Mohawk

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?Just getting home

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?Morningstar in a lot of stories right? Lol

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?Nearly once a day since I was 13?

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?Yeah, I DM

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?Save the dog obviously

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?Tell everyone, tie up lose ends enjoy a few things, no fear

73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.Love

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?All Star by Smash Mouth

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?2780

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?Communication, mutual thirst

77) How can I win your heart?Play with my hair, talk nerdy to me, suck my soul out of…well you get the idea

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?I think it does

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?Joining the Boy Scouts?

80) What size shoes do you wear?10.5/11

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?Ugh now I’m gonna obsess over this forever, idk

82) What is your favorite word?Eldritch

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.Break

84) What is a saying you say a lot?“Looked _____ dead in the eye” comes to mind

85) What’s the last song you listened to?Red Cold River by Breaking Benjamin

86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?I like deep purples and the color of stormcloud under a pale moon

87) What is your current desktop picture?A werewolf leading a pack of wolves in a feeding frenzy

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?Donald Trump probably

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?I try not to fear the truth

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?Accept my new undead protectors

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?Effortless telekinesis (or endless motivation and discipline, can that be a power?)

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?Cuddling with my mom

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?Like make it so it never happened? My mom’s suicide duh

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?Taylor Momsen

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?Idk, I’m too broke to do anything so maybe take me to see the Carpathian mountains/Dracula’s castle?

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?Nope

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?When I was little I think

98) Ever been on a plane?Once

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?Survive the night, hope for the dawn, and never stop fighting. Also when we gonna get Dark Souls/Demon’s Souls remastered?? Come on!!

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spaceodyssee · 7 years

Note

Bookish ask : 4, 6, 14, 16, 24, 26, 34, 36, 44, 46 ! :D

4: What was the last book you added to your tbr?

L’Empire des Anges by Bernard Werber, because a friend recommended it to me

6: Which book was the last one you really, really loved?

Pride and Prejudice which i had never read before! i finished it two days ago

14: Name a book where the movie/tv adaption actually was better than the original

oh my god is there such a thing.... i’d have to say The Princess Bride! i saw the movie as a kid and only read the book last year so *shrug emoji* but also i’m not used to the book’s type of narration and it sort of weirded me out i guess!

16: If you could bring three books to a deserted island which would you bring and why?

La Sombra Del Viento by Carlos Ruiz Zafon, the book series His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman (which i haven’t read since MIDDLE SCHOOL), and my favourite book series as a kid, Le Livre des Etoiles by Erik L’Homme

24: Do you prefer to buy books online or in a bookshop?

don’t call the cops on my but i don’t buy books online lmao at least not if it’s a book written decades ago! (i have about 2400 online books on my computer, the majority of which are works from long dead writers) although if it’s a relatively new book i’m going to buy it. in general i prefer to buy books in a bookshop, but i never choose randomly

26: If you could be a character from a book for their entire life who would you be and why?

omg definitely a book where there’s MAGIC so like, Harry Potter or Le Livre Des Etoiles. maybe even more the latter because as a kid i would DREAM of it like they live on a part of france that’s not on the map (BRETAAAAGNE) and they’re separated from two other worlds (our boring world and the weird magic world) by magic doors, and they don’t have cars or the train but horses BUT they still have the cinema and nutella. also knights and sorcerers and korrigans. anyway have i told you i fucking love this book. tolkien who

34: List five OTPs

bruh....no....

okay so this is really hard to answer because when you read popular fantasy/sci-fi books there’s like one (maybe two) female characters and it always feels kind of forced so i’m like...didn’t read that haha! BUT i can say Richard/Kahlan from the “The Sword of Truth” series, Bill/Fleur in HP, Elizabeth/Darcy of course and idk....the couples in Dragonlance i guess!

36: Name a book you consider to be terribly overrated

why do i get all the hard questions...i mean i can safely say Fifty Shades of Grey or Twilight

44: Do you like to listen to music when you read?

yes! it’s not mandatory but i like to listen to “ambient” playlists, maybe something that’s similar to the atmosphere of the book i’m reading

46: What is your favorite thing to drink when you read?

teaaaaaaa

bookish asks!

#thank uuuuuu <3 #ask game #ask some more guyyyyyyssssss #slytheringmelusyne

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scouringsaucepans-blog · 7 years

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Would You Just... Clean the Grill?

I am about to do something unconventional, radical, perhaps even heroic. I am about to clean the grill.

I know.

I hate cleaning the grill. I have always hated cleaning the grill. I remember childhood as one long uninterrupted stretch of wonder and joy, pretty much because I spent it never having to clean any grills.

At 15 I could be found in the kitchen of my family home, staring at the grill with tilted head, silently, like that dinosaur trying to comprehend existence in Tree of Life. Cleaning that grill must be a nightmare, I began to think. I’m glad that has nothing whatsoever to do with me.

At university I was appropriately adequate in many ways. I finished my assignments on time and washed my pots and only occasionally maxed-out my overdraft. But the grill was just not my domain. I found if I left it long enough someone else would get angry and clean it for me – and that person’s anger was always infinitely preferable to actually doing the grill myself.

But then university was over and I was living back at home, pretending I didn’t need a job because I was going to be the next Jack Kerouac, and suddenly my mother had decided the rules had changed.

She would return from work and I would hastily tab out of World of Warcraft, back to the Word document in which had been scrawled the same lousy four paragraphs for weeks, and my mother would come upstairs and ask how the writing was going, and I would squint at my lousy four paragraphs and say, Yes, good thanks, yes. And my mother would put her arm on my chair, and I wouldn’t say anything. And she would peer out of the window, and I wouldn’t say anything. And she would walk back towards the door, and my fingers would be hovering over the alt and tab keys, and she would be at the door, through it, gone – and then she would turn around, like fucking Colombo, and offhandedly ask if I would mind quickly cleaning the grill.

And I would stomp downstairs, muttering how the grill wasn’t even dirty, I hadn’t even used it, that Jack Kerouac never would have finished On the Road if he had been perpetually forced to clean grills like this, and I would get to the grill, and in fairness it would look like the back seat of the car in that scene in Pulp Fiction when John Travolta accidentally shoots Marvin in the face.

But I had meandering poetic romans-à-clef to be writing – or at least night elf druids to be levelling up – so I would do with that grill what Harvey Keitel had the mobsters do with that car in Pulp Fiction: I would gather up all the sodden old tin foil and throw it away, and then basically ensconce the grill pan and all the crumbs and congealed fat and bits of crisped bacon in new foil, so that if someone peered close the subterfuge would not hold, but from a distance any mum-cops in the area might be fooled. And then I would make cheese on toast and go back to World of Warcraft.

***

Of course now, a decade later, I’m a proper adult, which means I don’t even change the foil in the grill. I just leave it all and hope that, like hair, it will eventually start regulating itself.

Except the roguishly deprecating tone I’ve engendered here belies the truth of the situation, which is that I am miserable. My girlfriend will come in from her exhausting job as a pub manager – which job provides the flat in which we both reside – and I’ll hastily tab away from, I don’t know, a Wikipedia page detailing Captain America’s role in the 1982 Marvel comic book cross-over event Contest of Champions, say, back to the Blogger draft in which has been scrawled the same lousy four paragraphs for an eternity, and she, my girlfriend, will ask how the writing is going, and I will squint at my lousy four paragraphs and mutter, Yes, good thanks, yes.

And it’s all fucked. I don’t know what to write. If I’m not up for work or something that will let anyone but myself down then I’ll just stay in bed all day, and the flat is a tip, and I’ve got no clean socks, and I keep reading the first page of books and then throwing them aside, and there’s this weight pressing down on my chest that has been pressing down in some form or another for as long as I can remember, and it’s like everything is too heavy, I can’t lift any of it off, it’s all fucked…

And then here I am in the kitchen one day looking at all the dishes feeling the weight pressing down, and sort of slowly yet all at once it strikes me that although I can’t lift off the heavier weights, the ones about my career and my future and the apparent inexorability of my failure, there are smaller, more manageable weights that I could lift off, if I actually so desired, and one of these, perhaps the smallest, so small that it would almost be more ridiculous to not do it, is cleaning the grill.

So I am going to clean the grill.

***

And immediately I find I can breathe easier. Although, yes, only a minuscule weight, it is the first time anything has been lifted off rather than added in aeons, and it fills me with hope. Life is not so bad. You do little bits and they add up to big bits, and eventually you are free. The trick is to go slowly, and go easy on yourself. The grill today, then later I will watch Netflix, maybe have a beer, and I’ll be prepared to tackle more tomorrow.

But what will I watch on Netflix? Do they have Aliens on Netflix? I love Aliens so much. It’s not got the majesty of the original Alien, of course – what does? – but it is basically schlocky 80s B-movie as apotheosis. I tell you what, when you’re having a beer, a few beers, and watching Aliens – when those marines are running around in their bandanas, and Bill Paxton is shouting “Game over man, whoah man, we’re toast man,” and Michael Biehn is being Michael Biehn – when the alien queen detaches from her flaming egg sack – when that reveal comes of Ripley in her mech suit…

… Or is it Bill Pullman? Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman are similar, no? Is this a thing? Do people know about this?

I continue with such thoughts for about half an hour, until I realise I’ve spent all the reward from cleaning the grill but have as of yet not actually cleaned the grill, and that there is nothing left to do but go and clean the grill, and I instantly start feeling miserable again.

I motivate myself all over again, and head into the kitchen. To the cupboard where we keep the tin foil. There is no tin foil.

What the Paxton?

I swear, every time I try to drag myself out of this pit, God comes and puts some insurmountable obstacle in my way, like he doesn’t want me to succeed, like he wants me to stay suffering here forever. How are you supposed to fight against God?

No, Rob. Stop inventing deities to blame for your inability to complete basic household chores. Just go to the shop for more tin foil.

I go to the shop. Outside it is balmy, warm, wonderful, and everything feels great. I’m moving, life is happening, we can do this.

My cheeriness lasts for two and a half minutes, until I arrive at the shop and the lady points me to the wrong aisle for tin foil, and I decide the best course of action is to stand there pretending to choose from what is actually a selection of tinned goods until she disappears and I can go looking myself – except then the lady realises her mistake and comes jogging back, and I have to yell at her that It’s fine, it’s absolutely fine, I wanted butter beans anyway. Which I definitely didn’t.

Then at the counter I put my basket down before the woman in front has finished paying, and I don’t know what to do, whether to draw attention to the awkwardness by picking the basket up again, so I just hover there too close while the woman buys lottery tickets and chats to the cashier. I’m invading this chat, I think. My arms hang at my side like repugnant flippers. I can’t for the life of me remember how people are supposed to stand.

Finally, eight years later, it is my turn. I act too northern with the cashier to mask my embarrassment, but it comes off weird and I know she can tell I’m from the posh end of Sheffield, that I don’t belong here. All walk home I am distressed, gloomy. I think of others my age, struggling with promotions and babies and marriages, and here I am struggling to buy tin foil from a shop. I am wretched.

But the only thing more wretched, I decide as I return, would be to use my self-pity as an excuse to not clean the grill. I really am going to have to clean this grill.

So I get started – by planning out what I’ll do. First the dishes in the sink will need washing to make room. Which means actually first I’ll have to put the dry dishes away. I hate that this is a thing. Why don’t we just build kitchens with huge draining boards instead of cupboards, and then we could store dishes where they dry, thus removing a pointless and mundane job from existence? The same with clothes. Replace wardrobes with massive clothes horses, then we’d never again have to stress over folding t-shirts and the sides not being even and having to shake them out and try again, and finding pairs for all the socks, and staring at the wall as the light fades and the evening draws in, wondering whether it’s even worth being alive in such a bourgeois existence that apparently consists of nothing but putting possessions in drawers and then taking them out again, over and over, until death comes for us hunched and–

–Oh, that’s the dishes put away. Wasn’t so bad.

I wash the dishes in the sink. I wash the big roasting pan that we inexplicably store on top of the grill where it gets covered in dust and grease. I bet that was my girlfriend’s idea, I think. I find a better home for the roasting pan, on top of the highest cupboard where neither of us can reach.

Finally it is the grill’s turn. The old tin foil wilts in my hands. Underneath is a fatty pool of despair. I scrape out the pool with a spatula. I attack the grill pan with wire wool, green scourer, sponge. I attack the grill rack with same. I put it to dry.

I rinse out the empty wine bottles, the empty milk carton. I clean the hobs, the front of the oven, the kitchen tiles. I look around, panting. I do inside the sink, the back of the sink, wash out the cutlery tub with all the pond water in the bottom. I take out the recycling. I empty the cat’s litter tray, take the bins out, sweep the floor. I get it all done, do it all.

***

It is later. We’re watching Netflix. I tell my girlfriend I’m making a brew. I go to the kitchen, stand in the middle of the room, look around. The grill is gleaming. Everything is gleaming.

This will be easy, I think. All I have to do is apply today’s technique to every issue in my life that I’ve allowed to get on top of me over the past decade, and continue applying it every day for the rest of my life. Yes, I think. Easy.

#writing #writers #blogging #diary #sheffield #writer life #writer community #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #spilled words #prose #my writing #my words

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bundleoberries · 4 years

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Glasgow Smudged Yellow

Authors Note: This was written back on the 13th January 2019 and was supposed to be my only draft of this, my English teacher didn’t exactly like the lack of twist and called it confusing. I personally like it so, have this!

As the sky rose up to a unheard challenge by the city below, it grew angry. Red. Peering eyes would close over the curtains to turn the other cheek of the darkness that would dwell within the city, more prominent in the dark to attack. Glasgow should be at peace, a calm and nurturing place. Not now. Yellow coats played a twisted game of hide and seek, giggling and laughing like the school children they weren’t. A pub would become the start of the chaos and origin of it. The pub in question is mine. When I was a young mind with a clear heart, I got her. Her amazing exterior would be that to Olympus’ grand walls. Olympus it was. She would stand out from other pubs for her grand architecture and be the birthplace for my love for mythology and literature. An ache that I had long yearned to cure. After years of reading whilst serving customers, I would be knowledgeable in the gods of the Greek and Norse and familiar with works by Edgar Allan Poe to Dante Alighieri. Addiction hit. A customer of that night must have heard my inner voice telling me there must have been more, hunger is a terrible beast. They would approach, speaking something that I couldn’t hear. When I gestured to the sign below me, they nodded and used sign language as I was unfortunate to be gifted with blissful awareness as to what people would say. I wished that at that moment that I couldn’t see what he was signing now. A hidden contract within a book which they would slide over. A death sentence. The ninth circle of hell. Antenora. They would sign that this was why literature was made. The religious and sinners would come together for this book. As they signed this, I would swear that it wasn’t my imagination to see that within that yellow hood was a crooked and off putting smile. I would foolishly nod and give the person a drink before hungrily reading every sentence.

That’s when it started.

Chapter one was mild, confusing the reader into thinking this was a good old ordinary book. Yellow coats shall shield you from the red and blacks dancing within the world. The signatures of the followers. Non-threatening and happy shades would be worn to not alert anyone. The people who read it were instructed to rename businesses and the such with the words Air a dhèanamh le buidhe and then have a small sign stating what the business did. When I had done this, there was a sharp knife pointed at my back but i would try to smile through the piercings the yellows would do. I was theirs. I am theirs. Whenever I would look over to see the yellows intimidate the grey’s, regular people and customers, I would have to pretend that I didn’t see. What kind of person just stands there whilst a customer is on fire, screaming and crying. It’s just a flame. Grey’s are the trouble, letting it happen. If they bother you, respond.

Today feels different for some reason. No riots yet. But the glares I am getting from both sides chill me to the bone. Pale knuckles grasp onto one of the glasses desperately as I pour Pepsi into a Coca Cola glass. So if it isn’t easy to tell, I had hit an all time low. We were also out of Coca Cola, as per usual. Might as well stuff my face full of ice cream and watch some dumb rom-coms. I mean, I ‘hate’ rom-coms but we all have our guilty pleasures. Mines just so happens to be watching While You Were Sleeping for an entire weekend. A boy can dream about having a relationship that was as sweet as Sandra Bullocks and Bill Pullman in that movie right? Cut me some slack. As I smiled very slightly, a twitch of the mouth, this set off something within the yellows. Approaching me with aggressive looks, I try to keep my composure. Chapter five. We can smell the fear of all. Happiness scrambles away and a crippling thought of “I’m going to die” hitting me. Approaching, fast breathing. I turn to run out the other way to come face to face with one of the ringleaders. They are easy to tell apart as the ringleaders have a sad mask on which could creep anyone out. Twisting and turning in agony and sadness. Alike me in the moment as I am forced backwards by the leader, a crazy sharp blade threatening to puncture my chin and annoying my chin hair. My pupils dilate and my anxiety kicks in full swing for the first time since I was a little boy. I start laughing, sweating. Finally backed into the counter, the ringleader toys with the thought of stabbing me straight through my skull before laughing at the tears. Glad it’s amusing them. All of the yellows start laughing and pointing different weapons at me. I try to get through to them with signing. You don’t want me to be the first on your kill counter, do you?

The ringleader takes off her mask, revealing once what was human and had emotions. One that I felt I knew from somewhere.

Oh god no. The mirror image of me stares back at me. Our hazel eyes, our matching complexions glint golden in the dim light and our black hair messy. I tear apart. A friend, a heroin. My sister. Threatening to kill me for the sake of their own fun and their revolting cult. She grinned, her teeth looking more pointy and scars that made me think that this was the reason for her betrayal of the sibling trust. A sacred trust to help and protect each other, all glinting in the eyes of the curved blade pressing into my skin, some blood dripping.

I can see her mouth something and I breakaway. My soul has left me. Looks like we’ll have to catch up another time, Adrian.

#original writing #writers #writers on tumblr #writeblr #horror writing #this piece was written for an essay ages back but I thought it would fit here as a good starting point for yall to get a taste of my style!

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oltnews · 4 years

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Now that we have all the time in the world, filling it up with movies has become an organized quest, and lists of useful movies have proliferated online. Some of them seek to cheer us up - classic comedies, vintage musicals, all happier times, of course - or to put our desperation in perspective with dystopian exercises like 12 monkeys, Mad Max, The road, And so on.I want to offer something different: a list of bizarre movies that were underrated at the time of their release and that have remained undiscovered since. Some of these movies, like the 2009 Jennifer's body, have undergone a critical reassessment and are now considered to be adorable cult films. The others have also developed cults, of one size or another, but are still waiting for the large-scale love they deserve.Jennifer's body (2009)The critical indifference to this high school horror comedy was disconcerting. (He scored 44% rotten on Rotten Tomatoes.) Diablo Cody's script - a marvel of sexy sarcasm - was the sequel to his first script for the 2007 hit Juno (whose director, Jason Reitman, is one of the producers here). And the star, Megan Fox, of the mega-budget transformers franchise, delivered a luscious parody of its own image of sexual puppet. Fox plays incumbent Jennifer, a snooty cheerleader who falls into the clutches of an independent group called Low Shoulder, whose members are desperate to make it big and have decided to sacrifice a virgin in order to enlist Satan as their manager. Unfortunately, since Jennifer is not virgin in every sense of the word, the group's ritual attempt goes awry badly and a newly launched demonic Jennifer is soon embarked on a bloody rampage. Amanda Seyfried effectively cuts her own movie star look to play Needy, Jennifer’s geek friend, and Chris Pratt, Amy Sedaris and J.K. Simmons is also on site. (Now streaming on Amazon, YouTube, iTunes, etc.)Surveillance (2008)Going back after one of the most hated beginnings in recent film history: the oddity of amputation in 1993 Helena Boxing- director Jennifer Lynch (daughter of David) directed this really scary serial killer feature. Bill Pullman and Julia Ormond play a pair of FBI agents lured to a slaughter site in Nebraska's hinterland, where they interact with bent cops and young drug addicts and search in vain for reliable witnesses. (There is one, but she is 11 years old, and who wants to hear what a child has to say?) The film has a dark and sunny atmosphere and a most disturbing conclusion. He scored a lame 55% on Rotten Tomatoes and has yet to attract many second looks. It is never too late, however. (Now streaming on Amazon and Netflix)Fountain (2006)Some - well, many - Darren Aronofsky's masterpiece, which made time stumble, was a pretentious romance. But it is a film of spectacular beauty which has constantly accumulated new admirers. Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz play Tom and Isabel, a couple whose love never dies. In 16th century Spain, she is a queen who sends her on a mission to the New World to find the Mayan tree of life. 500 years later - now - he is a scientific researcher looking for a cure for cancer that kills Isabel, who in this incarnation is his wife. He learns of the existence of an ancient tree in Central America whose bark could be the remedy he seeks. In the year 2600 AD, we find Tom ascending through the heavens in a transparent bubble boat containing a large tree. The glorious effects of space in this film are large explosions of microscopic chemical reactions (the work of optical systems developer Peter Parks) and the magnificent score by Clint Mansell could become a permanent part of your life. (Streaming on Amazon, YouTube and Vudu)The midnight meat train (2008)Critics liked this horrible horror movie a little more than the audience, perhaps because Lionsgate emptied the image unofficially in second-run cinemas and few people could see it. Bradley Cooper is a stormy photojournalist named Leon, who tells of the inhabitants of the night in an unspecified big city (it's L.A.). He becomes aware of a mysterious subway train that does not operate until midnight, and naturally he wants to know more. It's an idea as bad as you imagine. Terribly horrible things hit the passengers on this train, all distributed by a brute swinging with a mallet called Mahagony (the naturally terrifying Vinnie Jones). Bloody violence is not lacking (the film is based on a story by Clive Barker), but the Japanese director, Ryuhei Kitamura, really excels in creating tension and fear, and also in the editing oh-my-God. (Streaming on Netflix and Amazon)The brothers are blooming (2008)This second feature by Knives out Director Rian Johnson is an eccentric fairy tale with boundless charm. A pair of conmen brothers (Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo) make the mistake of trying to defraud a wacky heiress (Rachel Weisz), who counts among his hobbies kung fu, power ping pong and chainsaw juggling (on stilts), and who would love to become a scammer herself. The image is floating all over central Europe, but even with the brothers bringing in an expert in daffy explosives called Bang Bang (Rinko Kikuchi), we feel that the big ass they planned in Prague will not work well. They should have felt something wrong when their brand observed: "The trick to not being cheated is to learn to cheat." (Streaming on Amazon and Vudu)Black dynamite (2009)A wonderfully crazy tribute to the blax exploitation films of the 70s. Michael Jai White is perfect as a holder of Black Dynamite, a CIA agent returning from Vietnam who intends to put an end to some bad villains who are channeling the heroine in the ghetto. There's also a disturbing new brand of malt liquor that has hit the streets, a range of pimps and slippers and vintage purple clothing, martial arts and very low-cost car chases, and a ridiculous crime lord. called Fiendish Dr. Wu. There are also a lot of nice lines (delimiting the comic strip luxury pad, a character says, "You must have an eight track in each room"). Director Scott Sanders made this film in three weeks (and then turned it into an animated series on Adult Swim). He should work much more than he does. (Streaming on Amazon, Netflix and Vudu)Hancock (2008)Released at the dawn of the age of the cinematographic superhero (the same year Iron Man inaugurated the MCU), Hancock seemed to confuse the critics with his relatively subtle combination of understated humor and real emotion. Despite the presence of Will Smith and Charlize Theron, the film bombed. It deserves another chance. Smith plays a super guy called John Hancock, who has the usual powers of flight, strength and immortality. John does a lot of good in the world, but he also causes a lot of collateral property damage, for which he is very unhappy. So he became an alcoholic living on the streets of LA. An admiring PR man named Ray (Jason Bateman) tries to help him and does so; but then John meets Ray's wife (Charlize Theron), and the film suddenly takes a wild and unexpected turn. It is definitely worth a try. (Streaming on Amazon, Netflix and Vudu)The fall (2006)Although he already made a feature film in 2000, the horribly distinctive sci-fi horror film The cell- Indian director Tarsem Singh continued to win most of his live commercials. He brilliantly decided to use the globetrotter required by this profession to make another film, at his leisure. This resulted, after four years, in The fall, an extremely outrageous and amazingly beautiful fantasy film shot in Cambodia, Italy, Indonesia, Bolivia and China, among other remote locations. It is a film about the stories and their stories and the heroes they need; but it is essentially a vast sea of surreal images in which the spectators are invited to plunge their heads. There is really nothing else like it. (Streaming on Netflix and Amazon)High sky (2005)Will Stronghold (Michael Angarano) is a teenager living in the shadow of his superhero parents. His father, Steve (Kurt Russell), is a successful real estate guy best known in super circles like The Commander; his mother, Josie (Kelly Preston), is the famous supersonic Jetstream. Will does not seem to have his own powers, so he is afraid of entering Grade 9 at Sky High, where the descendants of superheroes are classified into two categories: some will become superheroes themselves, others - the losers of the super-lottery of life - will make him become acolytes. It's a Disney film, so family oriented, but also witty and trendy (thanks mainly to Russell, a Disney veteran who made his first film for the company in 1968). Mary Elizabeth Winstead plays the villain Royal Pain and the principal of Sky High is, wonderfully, Lynda Carter. (Streaming on Amazon and Vudu)Where the truth lies (2005)Originally released with an NC-17 rating due to its unusually frank sex scenes, this finely blackish film by writer-director Atom Egoyan is a puzzle-thriller that deserves more attention than it has ever received. . It focuses on Lanny Morris (Kevin Bacon) and Vince Collins (Colin Firth), a famous comedy duo (think of Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis) who suddenly broke up in 1957, without any explanation, after the discovery of the body of a woman who died in Miami in the tub of their New Jersey hotel suite. Years later, a young journalist named Karen O'Connor (Alison Lohman) agrees to work with Vince as a negro on her autobiography, hoping to get to the bottom of the mystery of the breakup. Then she meets Lanny, and things get very, very complicated. The film has a wonderful retro perverse air, and Bacon and Firth are downright disreputable as they had never been before. (Streaming on Amazon and Vudu) https://oltnews.com/these-10-underrated-movies-offer-a-perfect-quarantine-viewing-experience-reason?_unique_id=5e9f904b3e9c0

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