backgrounds are for squares :3

astarion doesn't need to be a vampire lord to be treated like nobility, he just needs a great big scarred brute that'll act as his endlessly loyal and devoted knight. why ascend when you've already got all the protection and worship you could want? and don't get me started on the inherent submission of it

i write about these two over here if anyone's interested. still ongoing!

Hey!

I'd just like to thank you for being such an active member of the Azutara community. I ship them, and define Azula's character in the series as 'morally grey' (I mean, I can't see how any mature adult could call a 14 year old inherently evil, but I suppose watching the show as a child would give you a pretty lasting impression of that), but I have not yet found anyone who has remotely the same opinion as you, and am SO glad I found a kindred spirit in you.

You might recognise me through my AO3 username, lordinkbot, as I've been systematically leaving kudos as I make my way through your Burning Ring series and now am around fifty chapters through WLG, with every intention to finish it. I have THROUGHLY enjoyed everything you've written so far, but I'm still too shy to leave a comment on AO3, so I hope I can express gratitude here instead.

I have a question which will probably be answered as I keep reading, but could you please let me know when exactly you decided to make YuKaZula a throuple in WLG, instead of sticking to the Azutara pairing? I've been reading comments as I read, but there's been no real hints towards it, and as this is the first fic of significant length with polyamory in it that I read, I'd appreciate some insight into your thought process.

Aside from that, I think your writing is so well thought out, and despite the length of some of your fictions, it never seems to drag. Heck - I read The Pit of Snakes in one day flat because I simply could not stop. Thank you so much, again, for being active in this community, and I hope you never, ever stop writing.

All the best, Inky

Hey there, and thank you for this wonderful message, my head has now swelled to comical size from all the compliments to my writing. :)

Yes, I don't feel comfortable slapping a 14 year old girl with the label of Evil. I think Azula commits a few acts that could be classified as evil, but nowhere near as many as most people seem to believe. Azula in the show can be very unpleasant, but at the same time, I have not seen anything that would make me think that she couldn't change her ways.

Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying my writing, and don't feel pressured to comment on ao3 if you don't feel comfortable. I hear that from quite a few readers - really, it's fine :)

YuKaZula throuple in WLG definitely was not planned when I set out to write the story. However, when Yue joined Katara and Azula in Ba Sing Se, I found that the characters gradually developed a more powerful emotional bond than I expected them to. Eventually, they grew so close that I couldn't imagine Yue being with someone else other than Azula and Katara. Of course, Katara and Yue already shared a bit of romantic past, but Yue and Azula had also kissed and obviously found each other attractive. At least from the writing perspective, this really was the case of characters insisting on which way they wanted the relationships to go. I hope that as you read the story, you'll see what I mean by that!

I'm very glad you enjoyed the Burning Ring trilogy, and you definitely don't need to worry about me stopping writing. I have plenty of ideas for more Azutara stories, so I'll be writing about these girls for a while yet. Messages like these also help to inspire me to keep going, so thank you so much for your kind words!

I was just thinking recently about how to be an ally to my queer friends on tumblr. Do you have any suggestions? What kinds of things would be supportive and gender affirming to you? How can mutuals support you?

The good news is that asking those questions is one of the most important parts of being a queer ally. 👍 Now this does get a bit long because I'm trying to explain as much as possible to give you a solid idea of how to approach things, so I'm putting it under a readmore.

General Advice

One way you can communicate that you're an ally is by making that clear on your blog. This can mean displaying an image like the straight ally flag, or just saying that your blog is a safe space for queer folks. I don't know how other queer folks feel about the straight ally flag, but I'm of the opinion that it's a great communication device, which is really what all flags are for in the first place.

Most queer folks will have their pronouns in their blog. It could mean that they're transgender or intersex, or it could mean that they're just an ally to those folks. You can't tell unless they let you know, but it's usually safe to say they are an ally at minimum. This means that putting your pronouns on your blog can signal that you're a safe person. It also frees us from the awkwardness that is asking for someone's pronouns, although it should be noted it is always better to ask than to assume.

Reblogging/liking content that's queer-friendly is another good way to show support. It tells people that you're safe and friendly, with the added bonus of interacting with a queer Tumblr's content. I'm of the opinion that it's good for everyone to mingle as long as no one is hurt in the process. I don't really see straight, cisgender folks do this, and I think it's probably because they don't really know any queer folks or they don't feel comfortable engaging with queer content. It can be awkward, but I think the only queer stuff I'd recommend straight, cisgender folks to avoid putting on their blogs is discourse, especially if it's nuanced because that gets really messy really fast and you might not have context for what's going on. But if you like a gay fanfic, or someone you know took some beautiful photos of pride? You're probably fine hitting the buttons on those.

Something that's recently popped up is a significant increase in bots distributing spam in queer tags. A lot of this spam is designed to look like transgender people in sexually suggestive and/or explicit photos. If you spot a post like this, and you're sure the account is a spam account, it's best to report it. Reporting the post and/or blog as spam and then blocking the bot account is the best thing you can do. If you're not sure, then just block the account and a queer person will probably come along and take care of it later. The bots are very problematic because they're taking advantage of the people whose photos they've acquired and they're putting mature content in the community tags without any content warnings.

If you don't understand a queer label, slogan, etc. you can either look it up on a queer wiki (like this one!) or just ask a queer person. Personally, I am more than happy to explain what I know if someone has a question. A lot of other folks are, too. They will let you know if your question is rude, but in general it's better to ask with a genuine desire to understand than to assume anything.

Supporting Me Specifically

I don't have my legal name listed online for multiple reasons, such as internet safety and the fact that it is a gendered name. I ask people to either use my username or call me Gryphon if they want to use an actual name I go by. I don't respond to names that aren't mine, so if you try to use anything else it just won't work. :)

In English, I generally prefer that people refer to me by using "they" instead of "he" or "she" because it's gender neutral. This is obviously an issue in gendered languages. In these cases, I normally use neopronouns. In Portuguese this means using "elu" instead of "ele" or "ela." It might take some practice to get the hang of, but it's the thought that counts.

Adding on to the previous bullet point, I don't normally use other gendered terms to refer to myself (with rare exceptions). In practice, this means replacing "man" or "woman" with "person." The same goes for honorifics. Instead of being "Mr" or "Ms" you should use "Mx." In Portuguese this means using "senhore" instead of "senhor" or "senhora."

I'm asexual. This means I'm not straight or gay, and is not something that will change if I have a partner. Straight, gay, and lesbian are, unfortunately, gendered terms and thus I do not use them. More detailed information is on a need to know basis.

TL;DR: The best thing you can do to show support is avoid using gendered language when you talk to or about me.

If you've read this far, I hope I've been able to give you some practical advice. If you have more questions, feel free to drop those in the askbox, comments, tags, etc. I've got plenty of time to write out explanations for people these days.

Hey a little psa for the new adult fandom folks from Twitter

If you don’t want minors to interact with your posts or some of your posts, “minors dni” in your bio isn’t going to be a good way to achieve that.

When seeing posts, people’s descriptions don’t show up unless you look for them. When a “minors dni” banner is on a post, it’s usually at the bottom, so the potential minor has already seen the content, and even if it’s at the top, they will have to scroll past it anyway.

Here are some solutions you can use that will actually achieve something:

Manually block any minor you find (very effective but time consuming. annoying for people who eventually age out of your dni.)

Say minors please block on the post itself (relies on the minors listening to you, can get old real fast, but at least it’ll actually be seen)

Tag posts you don’t want minors to interact with something consistent (doesn’t need to be nsfw; I’m just talking about anything you want them to know not to interact with). I use #lemons because I’ve been reading fic for way too long and I think it’s funny. (this relies on others filtering this tag themselves, thus giving them agency in the situation. That’s what I aim for but if you don’t want that, add another solution— just keep in mind some adults won’t want to see that content either, and maybe you’ll want to find those posts later yourself, so it’s good to do this regardless)

Tag the post #nsfw, which is probably going to do something weird like take it off search or automatically give it the mature community label. Pretty sure those posts are hidden from minors. (honestly they’ve changed it a bunch of times so try your luck or don’t.)

Use a readmore and warn for what you’re about to show above it. On mobile, type :readmore: and newline; on web, it has its insert button like photos or links, which is a squiggly line. (this is great for suggestive pictures or whatever else you wouldn’t want someone to catch a glimpse on while mindlessly scrolling. It doesn’t stop anyone from interacting though.)

Use community labels to signal mature content. This will automatically hide the post for minors, and allow adults to either also have it hidden (default), blur it, or leave it alone. This can be changed in your settings. Note that, even labeled, pictures of sex acts are still forbidden on tumblr due to the Apple Store and payment processors being run by puritans people who refuse to tolerate that kind of content in case they accidentally get caught up in sex trafficking. Twitter only got an exception because it was big enough that they thought it was more profitable to turn a blind eye. Tumblr is being made an example out of, having been threatened and taken off the app store over this. (In other words they did not remove nsfw content to bully creators. It was at gunpoint.) You will have to link this stuff while only showing a more sfw picture if you want to share this content, privatter style. I don’t think non previewed linked content is monitored so it should be ok??

There’s probably other ways I haven’t thought of. A combination is great!

Additionally, you can make a blog password protected (a priv, basically), post privately (only visible to you) and disable reblogs on a post (tagged people can still reblog I believe).

If other people find your post inappropriate, they can also submit it to be reviewed as mature content, and it’ll get forcibly labeled if tumblr rules they’re correct. As far as I know, unless it’s something that’s illegal, tumblr posts won’t get removed in any way— only the pictures tend to get replaced by “this picture was violating content policy”. Some blogs I believe can also get marked as mature? I’m not sure how that works.

So! Depending on what you need and want with your minor dni, you have a bunch of solutions to pick from, and by all means get creative if you can think of more.

Happy posting!

why do you allow her to copy you and get away with it? shes still vilifying you to anyone that will listen and im not saying everyone will believe her but a lot of people already do especially now they don’t wanna interact with you in case you do the same to them

IM SNORTING AT THIS 💀 okay i was gonna drop this but i keep getting asks so i’m gonna give y’all one more little response and then move on :,)

yes, i was irritated that my “minors dni” banners were copied literally EXACTLY, but all i did was block her to keep it from happening again 😭🤚🏽 i enjoy the aesthetics of my blog/my writing. it’s something i put time and energy into editing and stuff and all i ask is that people don’t blatantly copy/steal the same layouts as me. i rly feel it’s not too much to ask 😭 anyway her post was very nasty and condescending to pretty much anyone who is a hobbyist writer on tumblr as a whole ?? i thought that was kind of rude to everyone in general and not just the person she was targeting (which apparently is me 💀) but wtv lol. not all ppl are here to be “published writers” or wtv and more importantly, i’m not flagging anyone’s posts bc as i showed yesterday, the same thing is happening to me too:

it’s happening to pretty much EVERYONE on this app, and it’s simply bc of community guidelines. if you don’t understand this, you are just simply misunderstanding the recent tumblr update and that’s not my problem. are there some ppl who are bitter and are weaponizing this feature to flag a post with a label and stunt interaction on writing ?? yeah, i’m sure there are a few. and that’s very irritating, but for the most part, it’s literally unavoidable to get your work labeled mature for everyone across the board on here who posts smut. if you scroll thru the top tags in the last month for pretty much any smut tag, you will see a majority of the works labeled mature. she’s not the only person who’s dealing with this so pointing fingers at me bc i blocked her bc she literally copied my banners is pretty groundless if u ask me and absolutely ridiculous 💀 anyway i thought i would address it one more time bc ppl are still sending asks and i’m slightly irritated now

I've been finding it tricky to reblog as much of the stuff as I want to on here, and I've determined that it's largely because the tagging system I'm holding myself to is far too cumbersome. I think I'm gonna start trying to trim what tags I put on a post.

Changes I plan to implement:

deprecate the "reblog" tag -- if someone wants to filter out EVERYTHING I'm reblogging, I don't really know why they'd be following this blog in the first place. You can just come back manually and check out my "smie speaks" tag once in a while if that's what you'd like

deprecate "photo post" "text post" "poll" "ask" etc. Tumblr's archive system can filter by these on their own if it really comes down to it

merge "furry" and "anthro" into just "furry". I kept the two tags in case I wanted to distinguish between anthro furry stuff and just animals just behaving anthropomorphically. Ultimately a lot of my furry posts just get anthro too, making it sort of redundant.

deprecate "meme" tag. It's enough of what I post/reblog that it's kind of useless as a filter tag (much like "reblog")

This is probably also a good time to switch to changing what tags I use for adult content. I still plan to use "suggestive" for anything that's just a sex joke or has cleavage in it or something, but I think I'm going to move fully to using "smie's smut stash" for anything that I've normally used the "nsfw" tag for. Feels weird to force the community label for mature content onto someone else's post, especially considering... I don't know. Wanna do my part to not be ashamed that adult stuff exists on my blog? Don't want to put a target on my back AND OP by putting the site-sanctioned "this is sexy" tag onto it? Everyone that follows me is at least 18 anyway.

Gonna give this a test drive by sorting through some of my... ogh, 363 drafts!

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Your Romantic Partner Cheating on You

NSFW/18+ Pick a Pile: Intuitive Reading + Shufflemancy

Pile One-Pile Two-Pile Three

I didn’t expect or intend this to be nsfw, but it turns out all the piles has this so… I’m labelling it as such

This is why your romantic partner would cheat on you if they did, how would they cheat, and how will you find out/will you find it out.

Can be applied to current or future romantic partner.

Also, thank you for 300 followers! 🥳

How to Pick a Pile: Take the time to look at each picture above. Which one sparks a memory? What emotions do you feel? Do you feel anything at all? If all piles spark a memory, choose which one is the strongest. If none, try to go with the one that draws you in the most otherwise, these messages are not meant for you (at this time).

Photos aren’t mine, got it from pinterest and all credits go to the owner.

1 • Pile One

:. How would they cheat?

S*xting. Talking to someone online, video-calling. I wouldn’t say this is exactly cheating but I also feel like they would watch p*rn a lot... (in retaliation) Hmm.. other than the hypothetical fact that they're cheating, i also feel like they would make you feel real insecure. Like i mentioned with the p*rn thing... maybe you don't do it with them as often as they would like. They have a high s*x drive. And I'm seeing that you and your romantic partner are different nationalities/ethnicities, and with that... they would make you insecure by.. I'm seeing they would probably watch p*rn of girls from their own nationality/ethnicity. You don't have to be this of course but I'm specifically seeing you may be white and your partner is black, so they would be watching maybe black women whom are more curvier and "thicker" than you. (Could also be the opposite of course, where you may be on the bigger side while they watch those with a skinnier figure. Opposite from you.) Maybe they (your partner) also made a literal s*x tape of them and their sidechick (I'm seeing they would have multiple though, and all or majority are of the same nationality as them) or they screen recorded them having video call s*x. I'm just seeing a lot of oral 😶, maybe you also don't really go down on them that often or don't do it at all. For a small percentage of you, one more of their "reasons" may be simply cause (in this case) you're not good at it (oral) 😐. I'm also seeing that they may have both girls from snapchat and girls whom he has their number of because i see facetime.

:. Why would they cheat?

*Its more of a* them problem. They wouldn't exactly be communicating what they want from you and think they could do better. They would take you for granted just because everything with you is not the most perfect. They may be idealistic or not have proper experience with relationships.. in the sense that-- their relationships before (if they had any) were more superficial, kind of more of a fling, or they simply were with someone that weren't mature enough (they aren't too).

🎶 my tears ricochet by Taylor Swift || As you would typically expect from someone who would be cheating on their romantic partner, they would think their cheating was justified. I'm really feeling this person.. at least if they were to cheat on you.. wouldn't be the most mature about it. (Yes what kind of cheating is mature but...) It would be on the whim type of thing, in the sense that they did not properly think of their situation with you first (again theyre inexperienced/immature when it comes to relationships). If this person were to cheat on their partner, i feel like this is the type of person where someone might still keep around (in a romantic relationship, not breaking up with them--yet) regardless because people would sympathize with the situation, with them. They would cheat on you because they thought you were not giving them enough when they were giving you a lot (they think, and for some of you they really are). This could really have never happened if your partner communicated in the first place.

:. How will you find it out? Will you find it out?

Okay I'm seeing that they talked to a lot of girls/or whomever gender regarding your situation ofc (who kind of look similar to each other might i add), had phone s*x and s*xted (sending n*des too probably ..ofc) with a lott. So i don't think you would completely be unaware of it. I don't think they would say it though, if you were to find it out (in point-blank).. you will have to confront them about it (again their poor communication skills). You would probably sense this out and try to work it out (without explicitly saying it im seeing) and eventually they would die down with doing that, but to nip it at the bud, again, you have to confront them about it and I really think they would ((completely)) stop. They really don't have seriously malicious intentions, they just reacted, didn't use their head, and went with trying to relieve their hurt through this. (I'm really feeling the head wasnt used almost at all pfft lmao.. im not saying they're dumb, but with you, with their feelings for you... they were.. they are. They probably need a lot of reassurance and upfront affection 🥺. They need explicit assurance in bold neon lettering saying "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I DO THIS FOR YOU. IM SORRY IF ITS COMING OFF DIFFERENTLY BUT YOU ARE THE MOST AMAZING THING THAT HAPPENED TO MY LIFE.." etc. Also, it could just be because you don't talk much either, or share much about your feelings ((by default, like thats just your personality)) so all they're left with is their assumptions.) You will only explicitly find it out if you confront them about it, i don't see you catching them in the act and its also not that likely of them confessing to you. (They're scared of you/you can really seriously hurt their feelings.. they love you so much 🥺) Talk!! To!! Each!! Other!!

— —

I have put the rest of the piles in separate posts because for some reason I can’t copy-paste the readings anymore in this post

2 • Pile Two (Your Romantic Partner Cheating On You)

3 • Pile Three (Your Romantic Partner Cheating On You)

Dazai, Yosano and Chuuya general relationship headcanons

request: hi!! can you do dazai,yosano and chuuya general headcanons?? have a nice day!!

a/n: hi! tysm for the request <3 these are pretty short but i might do separate posts for all of them if i ever find the time :) also requests for headcanons are now back open! :D

warnings: none

· Will constantly try to get you to skip work to go on dates with him

· But not in a ‘ask once and if it’s no, be okay with it’ way, oh no

· He will sit on your desk, ask a MILLION times, annoy the shit out of you just to get you to go with him

· Also, make sure you can afford wherever you’re going, he probably doesn’t have his wallet with him

· But let’s be real, even simple strolls in the park would be super fun with him

· Don’t ask him where he got them from, but will give you flowers (with a note with very ugly funny drawings) almost on the daily

· Would also be amazing at cheering you up when you’re feeling down

· Or just even giving compliments, like this man is smooth as hell and will give you butterflies even YEARS into a relationship

· Also VERY into casual PDA - will always have his hand in yours or his arm around you

· He’d still be flirty in public but I think he’d be calmer when he’s alone with you (save for random outbursts of chaos)

· Sleepy cuddles fjfnkgg,,ffffgggggrrggg,,,

· Will put his head on your stomach for one (1) second and BOOM he’s out like a light

· Dazai is not the type of guy who really commits to just anyone so you were probably already really close before getting into a relationship

· YES my most-requested favorite girlie <33 Miss Yosano <33

· She’s definitely one of the people I could most easily imagine in a mature relationship

· Like if something is wrong or bothering either one of you she wouldn’t hesitate to talk it through with you

· A+ communication skills

· I do feel like she’s the type to take things one day at a time

· She probably also doesn’t care too much about labeling whatever you have until she’s sure you’re in for the long run

· But if it’s good, she knows it’s good and has no problem with moving fast

· Will work together with you on any issues you may have

· Also gently tries to get you out of your comfort zone if that’s something you struggle with!

· This would be the type of relationship where you both learn a lot about yourselves and each other

· Yosano would 100% try to surprise you with little things

· Like breakfast in bed, random pictures captioned ‘this made me think of you’, all that jazz

· Not in an attempt to woo you or whatever, just genuinely because she wanted to do it

· She’s super caring but not in a strict way, it’ll always be very pure :) <3

· This man, WOOO

· Knows how to treat you right

· Like we know he’s rich rich and he’s not afraid to spend his money lmao

· He wouldn’t spoil you per se, but he’d definitely make sure both of you are very comfortable

· This man has a goddamn Ph.D. in cuddling

· Y’know when cuddling (or not, but in that case, I’m telling you now) sometimes an arm is in the way? Chuuya somehow never has that. He always puts his arms in comfortable positions. I also headcanon that he's super warm (I mentioned that before!) so he'll be your personal heater :)

· He will constantly worry whether he’s good enough for you or not and if you’re gonna leave him (because of his past) but I don’t think he’d express it

· Having a few talks about this is definitely necessary

· Thinks he’s shit at dealing with your feelings but he’s a natural at it, when you’re feeling down he somehow always knows exactly what you need

· Definitely has a temper and isn’t afraid to yell and then walk out during arguments, but will always make sure you’re alright after and talk it through

· Please adopt a dog with him. We’ve all seen wan! Please. A dog.

· I think Chuuya would have to get used to the idea of settling down for a while

· Like he didn’t grow up in a normal situation, he’s never experienced a ‘normal’ family life so he doesn't really know what he would want it to look like or if he even wants it for himself

· While he would have no problem with moving fast in the beginning stages of the relationship, he’d most likely want to slow down once it gets really serious, just to make sure everything feels right before moving on to the next step

please comment/reblog if you enjoyed! i’d love to hear what y'all think <3

Is it a sense of community or dependency? Darcy/The Core's possible manipulation on Anne's Heart traits

Borkthemork's post "Escape to Amphibia - The Importance of Season 3A" has shown us the relevance of love, trust, and relationships in Anne's arc as her confrontation with her friends and the final battle against Andrias gets closer. Not only her foundation of trust, which has been so damaged by Sasha and Marcy's betrayals, got a new chance to shine thanks to the kindness of the people she and the Plantars have befriended: Dr. Jan, Terri, Ally and Jess, Humphrey, Molly Jo, and the women of the Thai community, but also she has opened up more to her loved ones despite the paranoia and stress seen in episodes like "Temple Frogs", "Adventures in Catsitting" and "Fight at the Museum".

However, every quality has a flaw, or that is what Darcy will exploit once the fateful reunion between her and Anne happens.

We may not know yet the Core's personality but its only dialogue with Andrias in "Froggy Little Christmas" was revealing enough in my opinion:

That was pathetic. And you call yourself a king.

The Core not only insults Andrias and his tantrum for failing to kill Anne but also questions subtly how a childish buffon like him can be on the throne if he can't eliminate one enemy.

It demonstrates in those two sentences just the tip of a sadistic manipulative side that can surpass both Sasha's old self and Andrias' capabilities to twist truths and emotions to its gain.

How could that clash with Anne's arc and all the connections she has made on the show?

The answer is simple if we see the contrast between Anne's statement to Mr. X and the dialogue of these two scenes from Amphibia and Steven Universe Future.

You think you've beaten me, but you've never beaten me on your own. You've always been a fusion! You've always had your FRIENDS! Because you're nothing without them!

While in the first case, Anne's powers activated thanks to her acknowledgment and faith in one of her biggest strengths -her sense of community and love among her two families and new allies, the other two cases illustrate a somber angle of that trait.

Both Mr. X and Jasper attack a characteristic from the protagonists they label as weakness: getting help from others, whether they are strangers or loved ones. Because if you are always supported, is there is always help or something for you to lean on, wouldn't that mean you're being dependent on an external source to come out on top?

That's the 'crack' Darcy will find once when she gets to see how Anne will operate during the war, how her leadership skills take territory from the Core while she lets her friends take care of her and fulfill missions.

Establishing healthy relationships and a strong foundation of trust and love have helped Anne mature and learn to be her best self, but good things can't last forever, right? The Plantars can't keep up with the power she has, Sasha and the rebels can't join her with the massive army of robots on their heels, and without the power of the Heart gem, she's just a human.

There is always something or someone giving Anne the extra push to move forward and win or survive. That kind of narrative is the perfect twist for the Core to undermine her progress and even cancel her arc.

How can she expect to be the winner if she can't fight without help? How could she stop Andrias if she always lean on others? What if the extra push isn't enough or doesn't come to her aid?

The Core will make her question her sense of community. Perhaps it was too good to be true, maybe it wasn't a Heart's trait but dependency for relying too much on the people she cares about.  That truly she can't do anything and it was all her loved ones doing the hard work and that's how she came so far. Anne didn't lift a finger throughout the whole journey because everyone who has helped unconditionally has done it for her.

Marcy's memories can also be weaponized against Anne to feed that manipulation: the day she and Marcy were defended by Sasha on the playground, the many times Marcy may have tutored Anne to get better at her schoolwork, and the Core could even poke at Anne's recollections of how many people has helped her in Amphibia, especially the Plantars, to turn that into a bad thing. That it wasn't just helping but her becoming too dependent on others.

The Core as we know hasn't acted yet in comparison to Andrias' many plans to eliminate Anne that have failed, but it doesn't need to. What it will do is have a full picture of how its enemies behave around their allies and foes, how they react when a threat is in the vicinity, and use that data against them. And that's why this kind of manipulation might play in a crucial fight between Darcy and Anne.

Beach Day Blues༄ l.dh

↳ Out on a day trip to the beach with your boyfriend and his friends, you’re anticipating a fun time filled with sunny memories and sand filled swimsuits. What you’re not expecting is the cold shoulder from your usually happy-go-lucky boyfriend, but you’re going to get to the root of this issue, even if it’ll kill you.

pairing: lee donghyuck x reader ft. yuta, mark & jaehyun

content: fluff, beach day, reverse comfort fic, jealousy fic, very mildly suggestive ending

word count: 2053 words

Request 36: Haechan + “I need a hug.” (42) + “You’re cute when you’re angry.” (47) + “You own my heart.” (59) + Jealousy

← BACK TO NAVI.

— 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝.

Perhaps you’re being delusional. Perhaps you’re just dehydrated or, maybe, you rationalise, the scalding rays of the evening Sun have burned not only your skin but your brain cells too (if there were any to begin with). Maybe all of this is just in your head and you’re overthinking it.

    “Hey,” someone hisses, “is it just me or is Donghyuck giving you the cold shoulder?”

    At the question, or rather observation, your head swivels an almost sharp 90 degrees to stare Yuta straight in the eyes. “So, it wasn’t just me thinking that!”

    Yuta chuckles. “Yeah, he definitely seems off…” He peers at Donghyuck discreetly from beneath his sunglasses before turning back towards you. “Did you guys get into a fight or something?”

    “A fight? No way!” You pause, suddenly doubting yourself. “At least, I don’t think so…”

    Though you’re confident in your verdict of innocence regarding a fight, Yuta’s question prompts you to briefly run through the events of the day. To preface things, you, your boyfriend, Donghyuck, and a few of your friends—namely, Yuta, Jaehyun and Mark—had decided around half a month ago to clear up one day in advance for a ‘beach day’ this week. The idea had sprung after someone had brought up how nice and sunny the weather had been lately, and everyone just unanimously came to the conclusion that sunny weather equals beach day.

     You had begun packing for this trip a few days ahead to the surprise of everyone including yourself, which is a testament to your overwhelming excitement, because you rarely--if ever--pack that early for just a single day trip. But who can blame you? This would be your first official trip with Donghyuck. No, you should rephrase that. This would be your first official trip with Donghyuck as your boyfriend. You’ve been on plenty of trips before when you two were just ‘friends’, but now--and maybe this is the romanticist in you which you’ve successfully kept stored away up until recently speaking--it just feels different. You’re sure someone out there can relate, because you’ve never been one to obsess over something as feeble as a label, yet this trip has had your stomach in knots for ages.

  The packing process had gone smoothly--neither you nor Donghyuck had forgotten anything--and so had the car ride over. As far as you can recall, your day at the beach so far has gone without a hitch too. You’d had a little picnic, dipped in the oddly warm sea, played some beach volleyball (badly) and gotten some icecream afterward. No fights, no issues, no nothing.

   Maybe, you think, he found out I was involved in that little switch up with the sea water. You don’t entertain the idea for too long though immediately casting it away, because you know Donghyuck would never be the type to get so upset over a prank.

    So, why the attitude?

    You gaze at Donghyuck’s back, hoping that this mystery might just unravel itself if you stare long enough.

    “Huh…” Yuta’s voice tears you from your zealous staring competition with Donghyuck’s shoulders. “Then I wonder what’s up…”

    You sigh. You know you should confront him and have a mature conversation about what’s bothering him, but that’s so much easier said than done. Maybe this is God’s way of punishing you for ridiculing all those scenes in cheesy teen flicks where the couple would experience a major fall-out because of poor communication. During said scenes, you’d be pulling your hair out, internally screaming at the couple to just freaking talk already, yet now that you’ve been presented this obstacle for you to overcome yourself, you’re erring on the side of caution.

    Come on, you reason, I’ve been friends with Donghyuck for over half-a-decade and we’ve gotten into our fair share of arguments during those five years. What’s so different about now?

    Yeah, you’re right. You find yourself agreeing with your own thoughts, physically nodding along like you’re speaking to someone. Yuta raises a concerned eyebrow at you. Nothing’s different compared to then. You’re doing it again. He’s just my boyfriend, and that’s just a label. Stop. Obsessing. Over. Labels.

    Admittedly, it’s a bit embarrassing having to psyche yourself up to do this, but that’s not what’s important right now. What’s important is that little pep-talk, no matter how laughable it sounded, has gotten you to stand and saunter to Donghyuck with utmost confidence. In hindsight, you should’ve said something to Yuta beforehand instead of just springing from your seat and marching away. The thought hadn’t crossed your mind though, as it was obviously preoccupied with something arguably much more important than giving him the luxury of context.

    You decide not to be too transparent about your feelings at first as you take a seat beside Donghyuck on the sand, leaning your head on his shoulder, hoping that all of this was really just your imagination getting the best of you. You silently plead that he’ll perhaps treat you like he normally would, giving you a little peck on the cheek or at least wrapping his arm around your waist. Unfortunately, your hopes are smothered just as quickly as they arise because Donghyuck doesn’t even bat an eye at you, continuing to chat with Jaehyun and flat-out ignoring your presence. Still optimistic for a reaction, you leave a chaste kiss to his bare shoulder, just to let him know that “Hey, I’m here!”, but to no avail. Infuriatingly, he doesn’t even flinch. All he does is drone on to Jaehyun about something you couldn’t care less about.

    You huff. Audibly. A last ditch effort in vying for Donghyuck’s attention. It goes just as well as your previous attempts. You cross your arms, glaring at the side of Donghyuck’s stubborn little head, hoping to bore a deep hole through his brain. Maybe then he’ll finally take notice of you. Sensing the undeniable tensity in the air, Jaehyun clears his throat awkwardly, offering Donghyuck some lame excuse about needing to take a piss, before shuffling away. Well, at least someone knows how to take a hint.

    With Jaehyun’s departure, you’re left alone with Donghyuck. Usually, he’d be leaping to drown you in affection the second you two had privacy--or even if you two didn’t, to be frank--but all he does now is fiddle with the strings of his swimming shorts absentmindedly.

    “What’s wrong, Hyuck?” you finally ask, desperate to break this frustratingly suffocating silence. “Is something wrong?”

    Finally, after what seems like centuries, Donghyuck acknowledges your existence, though the look he gives you is not a pleasant one. In fact, it’s one of agitation. His tongue prods at his inner cheek before he says, tone bitter, “I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”

    Evidently taken aback, you crease your eyebrows at him. “I… Did I do something wrong, babe?”

    “Oh, come on,” he scoffs, scornful amusement overtaking his normally amiable features. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know. You can just come out and say it.”

    “Say what, Hyuck?”

    “How much more you’re into Mark than into me,” Donghyuck says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

    You can’t help but laugh, simply bewildered as to how on Earth he came to this conclusion. “I’m into who now?”

    “Mark,” Donghyuck rolls his eyes, “don’t have to pretend like you’re surprised.”

  “I’m not into--” you sigh, a smile of disbelief tugging at your lips. “Okay, tell me why you think I’m into Mark.”

    “I don’t think. I know,” Donghyuck argues and you scoff, “but it’s obvious. And I have proof. Take when we were playing volleyball for instance. The whole time, you kept eyeing Mark up and laughing at his jokes. All of them. Even the weird ones that nobody gets.”

    You snort. “Baby… I wasn’t ‘eyeing Mark up’, I was watching him just in case he missed the ball. And about the joke thing, to his credit, some of them were actually pretty funny! But, as for the the rest--and don’t tell Mark I said this--I felt kinda bad nobody else laughed at them, so I just laughed along with him. Trust me, I’ve been in his shoes before and it sucks. Not all of us are born as naturally as funny as you, Hyuck.” You’re a little remorseful that you’re essentially dissing Mark, but you’re sure he’d understand. Your relationship’s on the line here.

    Donghyuck harrumphs, but you can tell by the slight quirk of his lip that he’s a little tickled by you poking fun at Mark and he’s totally been swayed by your compliment.

    “Okay, fine that explains that, but how about when we went swimming just now? Why did you and Mark keep exchanging funny looks?”

    “That?” You giggle. “You know how your drink was mysteriously replaced by seawater?”

    “Yeah,” he trails off, his suspicion growing by the second.

    “Who do you think that was?”

    Donghyuck groans. “Wait, that was you? Seriously? That was mean, babe.”

  “Aww, I know, Hyuck. I’m sorry,” you coo. Your hand inches its way closer to his as you attempt to intertwine your fingers together.

    Donghyuck rejects your endeavour of fondness. “Nu-uh, no way. I’m not done with you yet.”

    “Oh my God, Hyuck, there’s more?” you complain, though there’s a tint of amusement in your voice.

    “Yes, there’s more, and you won’t be able to worm your way out of this one either,” he says smugly, as if it’d be a good thing if you in fact, couldn’t worm your way out of his next accusation. “How about when we went to get ice cream and you kept sliding up next to him?”

    You pout. “I just wanted to try the watermelon popsicle he got.”

    Donghyuck blinks at you, his once irritated expression dissolving. He seems dumbfounded as you hold his gaze, your mirthful smile never faltering. He turns away from you. “Oh, well… then whatever. I guess you aren’t into Mark.”

    “Hyuck,” you say, hand crawling up his arm, “were you jealous?”

    “Well, yeah, obviously,” he deadpans, still refusing to meet your gaze.

    You giggle. “You’re cute when you’re angry.”

    His cold facade is immediately abandoned at your teasing intonation, and just like that, your cheery Hyuck is back. “Baby,” he whines, readjusting himself so he’s facing you head-on, “don’t tease me. I couldn’t help but be jealous, you know?”

    “And why is that?”

    Donghyuck purses his lips. “Why? What do you mean why?” He gestures up and down, eyes sweeping over you. “Look how pretty you are! What am I supposed to do when you look this good all the time? It’s unfair, really, that you’re this pretty.”

    A blistering heat, one that is much hotter than the Sun, gathers in your cheeks. “Oh really now, Hyuck?”

    “Yes, really,” he says, genuity seeping into his every word. “Literally, everyday I’m surprised you’re even real.” You grin bashfully and Donghyuck pounds his fist to his chest dramatically like he’s been shot. “See! You’re only smiling and I’m already having heart palpitations at just twenty years old.”

    “Okay, okay, Hyuck. You can stop hyping me up now,” you chuckle. You’re beyond glad that your boyfriend has returned to his spirited self, but you know you should address what just happened seriously, just in case. “But hey, I’m sorry that I made you feel that way. Looking back, it definitely could’ve been misinterpreted as flirting and I would never want you to have any reason to feel insecure about our relationship because you own my heart, Hyuck.”

    “Aw, babe, you can be really cheesy when you want to be,” says Donghyuck, pinching your cheeks. He plays what you said off casually, but you know that deep down, it resonates with him, and he honestly appreciates your sincerity. “Come here, I need a hug.”

    “Right now? There are people around, Hyuck.”

    “But you look so good right now. I can’t resist.”

    “I don’t know, Hyuck…” You smile demurely.

    “Alright, then what about,” Donghyuck reaches to tuck your hair behind your ear, whispering, “we ditch the beach day and go cuddle in the car? My skin’s burning, anyway.”

    You grin. “They’re gonna notice that we went missing, you know?”

    “So?” Donghyuck challenges, leaning in to place a short but telling kiss on the juncture which connects your ear and your jaw. “Even better. I want them to know.”

alright, i’m not sure if you’re the right person to ask about this, but i want to know if you have advice.

i’m a minor who’s an active member of the whump community, and i enjoy reading noncon. i don’t actually like or reblog any of the nsfw posts i consume because i’m very much aware of the repercussions that could bring. i don’t produce or write nsfw myself at all. but even when those kinds of writing pieces tell minors to keep out, a lot of the time, i still read them. i’m really not sure what to do. is it wrong of me to consume that kind of whump? should i stop? apologies if you’re uncomfortable with this, feel free to abstain from answering!

Hi! It’s totally fine to ask me these kinds of questions! Info under the cut for those who don’t want to read about this stuff.

Now all of this  is my personal opinion and I welcome people to disagree with me and/or offer their own opinions. These are simply mine.

I don’t think it’s wrong for you to read noncon stuff so long as you know where the lines are.

It’s important that you are able to separate fiction from reality, know that what’s happening in the story is not at all permissible in real life, and be aware of your own comfort level/potential triggers. If you’re aware of all those things, then I don’t think there’s a problem.

(Also, I’m not going to pretend that teenagers - who are minors - aren’t having sex. If you are, it’s important to know that noncon content isn’t something that’s okay for your partner to do but you CAN and SHOULD have open discussions with your partner if you encounter certain things you’d like to explore. This isn’t that kind of blog so I’m just going to say: be honest and open with your partner, set up boundaries and stick to them religiously, and safe words are good things.)

I got into noncon stuff when I was underage too. I know a lot of people read smut before they’re 18 and in a way, both smut and noncon are similar when it comes to access on the internet.

Now I’m going to explain a common reason writers ask minors not to read or interact with their work. My hope is that a better understanding of that will help you to understand where you fit in.

Much like the real world, these kinds of things come down to consent.  

Warnings and tags are ways to state what’s happening in a piece of media (art, writing, etc) and allow the consumer to make informed choices. If you see those tags/warnings and choose to proceed anyways then you are consenting to consume that piece of media. In this case, you are consenting to read those kinds of stories. It’s why many writers online are irked by people asking them not to write about certain topics. When you choose to follow them, you are consenting to be exposed to certain things.  

Now this is where things get tricky because minors can’t give consent. But this is a piece of writing, not something in real life or something physical. So in this situation “consent” is more of the dictionary use and less of the modern use. It’s giving permission. Essentially a reader is telling the website “Yes. I give you permission to show me this.” Now, in this context, permission comes down to understanding.

Writers can’t control what level of education a reader has or what their comfort level is, we can only do our best with tags and warnings. Most writers warn minors away so that those with less education/understanding of certain topics stay away.

If you’re say, 16, then you’re a minor but you also have a level of education/understanding regarding mature topics. That’s very different from someone who’s say, 10, encountering those topics. ESPECIALLY regarding noncon.

Now I don’t know how old you are (and you shouldn’t disclose that information online nor am I asking you to) but I’m assuming you have a level of education/understanding where you’re not going to be confused or traumatized by consuming that kind of writing.

No one can truly police the internet so it’s up to you (and anyone on the internet) to take care of themselves.

For you personally, I think that if you know what you’re getting into, then it’s fine to read that stuff. Just be aware of your comfort level. It’s 100% okay to close out a story or step away. That’s WHY there are trigger warnings and tags.

What I’ve found is that most writers that warn minors away are just trying to keep children safe. There are a lot of little kids on the internet. I knew people who were on Instagram and Pinterest when they were 10 years old and had simply lied about their age. Now Instagram/Pinterest are a little different than say, Tumblr/DevianArt. You’re far more likely to run into mature content on tumblr, devianart, fanfiction sites, etc. Still, there are younger kids accessing sites more likely to host mature content. So creators stick up a bunch of flashing red signs telling minors to stay away because YOU WILL NOT LIKE WHAT YOU SEE. THIS IS NOT FOR YOU. No one wants a ten year old accessing their mature content.

For writers that tag “minors don’t interact”, it’s much the same. Everyone is trying their best not to traumatize ten year olds. For group chats/discords that ask minors not to interact, it’s often because adults are uncomfortable discussing mature content with minors. Even if that minor is 16/17 and well aware of mature content. It also can be dangerous to discuss these things with minors as you don’t know their age online (and again, no minor should disclose their age online) and no adult should be discussing these kinds of things with kids unless they’re a parent, teacher, counselor, etc.

My advice to you (and anyone in the whump community) is to mind the tags. Block tags you don’t want to see and consider everything to be exactly what it says it is. For example, I don’t like eye horror. If something is tagged with eye horror, I don’t read any further than that. Could it be something I could handle or skip over? Potentially. But I don’t want to take that risk.

Do you know the tag on Ao3 “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat?”. If not, it boils down to “this is exactly what it says on the label. I’m not kidding. Mind these tags. I’m not playing around here. What you see is what you get”. Treat everything as though it’s Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.

If you don’t know what something is, Google is your friend.

In all, no one can stop you from reading their work and usually, they’re just trying to protect you. You’ve already accessed this stuff so you have at least a base level awareness of what you’re getting into. Help writers protect you by knowing your own boundaries and minding the tags.

Be aware, be responsible, and don’t try to engage in mature discussions online until you’re 18.

As long as you’re comfortable, you’re fine reading this stuff.

I hope that helped! Feel free to reach out again if you have more questions/concerns!

With 'When The Camellia Blooms' I Learned The Beauty Of Owning Who I Am

Early on in my drama journey, curious about having 'When The Camellia Blooms' pop up on my Netflix feed, I tuned in. (Good job, Anvi.)

The Story:

The story revolves around a small Korean town, Ongsan and its residents. A fishing county, Ongasn's citizens are mostly fishermen who pride on their freshwater crabs.  In comes a single, young mother, Dongbaek with her 2-year-old son Pil-Goo. She decides to start a new chapter of her life and opens a small bar named 'Camellia'.

We then have Hwang Yong-Sik, a junior cop who's looking for his “Princess Diana”. With a heart of gold, he falls head over heels for our Dongbaek at first sight.

What follows is not just a love story between the two, but also a thriller mystery involving a serial killer who calls himself 'Joker'. We have Dongbaek's old lover, Kang Jong Ryul, return (who's now married with a child of his own), have her find comradery in the oldest badass of Ongsan, Mrs. Kwak and see her battle stigmas around single parenthood, objectification and bullying.

Not your typical male-female-lead Kdrama, this one is about: - the power of community, 🌼 - badassery (with some FANTASTIC female characters), 🌼 - real love standing the test of time, 🌼 - female companionship, 🌼 - healing 🌼 - and the pains of growing up in a society that prescribes 'two' parents as a requisite. 🌼

Each character has shades of grey versus your typical black and white. Each one, a poignant element, without which the story would have been lacking. The drama was a thorough delight to watch. And I am sure a lot of you who've watched this can nod your agreement when I say that it is legit a world in its own.

I don't know how to sum up a possible thesis of what moved me in the show, but here are my top 6 learnings from 'When The Camellia Blooms':

1. If you love someone, tell the whole damn world about it.

My favorite trait about Yong-Sik apart from his drop-dead gorgeous confidence, is the way he keeps choosing Dongbaek every.single.time. He taught me that love wasn't limited to a three-word confession. That was just the beginning of the beginning. Love meant showing up and choosing the person I loved, every single day.

2. Bravery often comes in surprise packages.

As we see Dongbaek own the person she is, an element we least expect to find is her bravery to stand up for herself and the ones she loves when the time arises. She taught me that often, we negate certain people as 'walkovers' and 'pitiable' only to see them outgrow their thick skin and show immense courage. At such times, one realizes the futility of boxing people up with permanent labels.

3. Wisdom and maturity have got nothing to do with age.

Bare with me as I prove my point by citing the stark contrast of EQ levels between Kang Jong Ryol, a father and his 8-year-old, Pil-Goo. While the former could pass for a bratty toddler, our Pil-Goo is too wise, profound and caring for a child his age. More often than not, he is the rock Dongbaek leans upon when she's too tired to fight the world alone.

4. Community is belongingness.

That's my favorite part about Ongsan. The town's committee is a motley of women who're there for each other through thick and thin. With stay-at-home trophy husbands, we see them battle their own regressive social stigmas and come to terms with inclusivity. It is here, in this communal space that DongBaek finally finds a home away from home.

5. We all just need someone who believes in us to start believing in ourselves once again.

Sometimes, without knowing, when we're lost, somebody's belief in us can help us find our way back home to ourselves. It's that person's belief that helps us reignite the belief we need in ourselves to grow and bloom. To rest my case, I give you Dongbaek's unconditional belief in Choi Hyang-mi.

6. Every person is a universe in their own might.

Each character's narrative in the drama made me realize how each of us are a whole, separate world on our own. Our ideas, our beliefs, our daily lives are individual universes colliding with one another for brief moments in eternity.

.

.

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Credits: Images 4 & 15: dramabeans | Image 5: kdramaclicks | Image 14: coffeecaramello.wordpress.com | Netflix | Doodle App

yall can ignore this i’m just working through more religious trauma shit and i have a stupid hypothesis no wait fuck that, a BRILLIANT hypothesis about child development and damaging religious abuse’s effect on psychosocial development, lol enjoy <3 <3 <3

1. Trust vs. Mistrust

Typically an infant needing to know that their needs are being met. Crying results in food, comfort, sleep, touch, etc. Infants viewed as pure and innocent but not in a religious framework, they are not “blank slates” but inherently sinful. Does this impact how caretakers respond to infant’s needs? Is it wrong to need? Is there punishment for crying too much, needing too much, etc? 

2. Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt

Toddlers! So much exploration. Can I do this on my own? Will I be punished for learning about the world around me? Is this when the concept of sin is introduced to children typically, then naughtiness, mischief, etc. seen as bad and sinful. Toddlers don’t understand danger, so when scolded for walking near a hot stove they cry because it is scary and confusing to be scolded, not because they consciously chose to disobey a warning about the complexities of heating mechanisms. A toddler brought up in fear and shame is compliant, but scared. Obedience valued over independence stunts autonomous development and instills the shame complex (I am a sinner, I need correction/saving) from a young age. Literally this lays the foundation for continued if not lifelong indoctrination.

3. Initiative vs. Guilt

Preschoolers continue exploring their world through hands-on interaction. More shaming occurs at this stage, and confusion between an action being bad and the individual being bad occurs. Deceptive behaviors present at this age, the way those are responded to by caretakers is crucial. Corporal punishment encouraged in religious circles. Timid, shy children are not seen as problem children, but the more precocious ones may be labeled “willful” “obstinate” or “rebellious” at this stage.

4. Industry vs. Inferiority

School-aged children introduced to concepts of hell, moral failures, and omniscience and omnipresence of authoritarian god figure. Major faith decisions often made at this age, and a desire to emulate the behaviors and actions of those around the child. This results in positive reinforcement from peers and adults (industry), statement of faith, baptism, children’s choir, etc. Heightened interest in matters of belief as concrete reasoning is surpassed and more abstract thought occurs. Nightmares of hell common, exposure to themes in biblical texts that are disturbing or not able to understand fully (rape, incest, murder, miracles, hell, sex, prostitution, torture, devil, violent deaths, war, genocide, famine, slavery, human sacrifice, etc.)

5. Identity vs. Role Confusion

Teens experience puberty, test their sense of self, try on personalities and styles, push boundaries, self-discovery, etc. Purity culture stressed at this age, shaping ideas of sexuality and what is and is not healthy relationships and sexuality. There is a social separation of spiritually “mature” peer leaders and “immature” or “lukewarm” kids seen as trouble-makers. Immense pressure to “live out” faith, including the pressure to witness to their non-believing peers. Social hierarchy dynamics play out in bible study and youth groups. Highly emotionally manipulative events usually occur for these ages like lock-ins (sleep deprivation), overnight retreats (bonding/emotional worship), mission trips (serving others, sense of greater purpose, exposure to ways of life which serves to solidify theirs as the “right way”), summer camp (more emotional manipulation, “mountain top experiences,” contrived feelings of closeness to god, typically exhausting physical activities and nighttime spiritual activities). Older teens pressured to make a decision that separates them from their parent’s faith, meaning taking ownership of what they believe and committing to it as their own personal choice and not being influenced by others - still they are very highly influenced.

6. Intimacy vs. Isolation

Young adults typically under immense unspoken pressure to get married and begin families while young. This is enforced socially and culturally and not explicitly. The pressure cooker of the spouse hunt, churches cater to young unmarried adults through “singles ministry” and departments dedicated to mentoring and guiding young couples toward marriages that reflect biblical gender roles and standards. If a young adult is single for too long, the community for them slowly disappears as others marry and no longer participate, leaving very little social support or attention focused on those who are single. Adults in this stage tend to move closer to or farther from a very fervent group that matches their background. Some let off the gas a little and explore newfound adult freedom, others buckle down and become involved with a group or church at a high level of commitment and activity. Young marriages at this stage are always praised but many result in divorce. Sexual issues are common especially in women who are now married but have little to no positive interaction with sexuality and in some cases with their own bodies. Young marriages face issues with unsteady finances, sexual expectations and performance, having children very quickly while still establishing identities, and struggling to enact biblical gender roles in a modern world where that is mostly impractical - this causes confusion, dissonance, and clashing.

7. Generativity vs. Stagnation

Adult parents now choose the level of family church involvement, attendance, and commitment that they have. Spiritual leadership and religious instruction is encouraged to occur within the home, though this is practiced differently across many families and denominations. Choice point for many couples of divorcing finally or just staying together at this point (sunk cost fallacy). Marital infidelity occurs most frequently at this stage. The involvement of church leadership in family issues may increase. Those who “stagnate” in faith may become apathetic to the activities of their youth and drift away from formal church attendance. Stereotypical midlife crises occur for some men. 

8. Integrity vs. Despair

For older adults with grown families, there can be much satisfaction gained from mentoring younger people through the church setting. This sense of giving back and social connection is incredibly healthy for the elderly and aging. Even if a person is no longer as fervent now as in their youth, they may continue to participate out of sheer habit and need for community. As individuals retire from the workforce, church communities may provide the only social outlet they have. Highly religious persons less likely to struggle with despairing of life, health, mobility, etc at this stage. Integrity also derived from church teachings which instructs to respect the elderly and care for them, paving the way for meaningful connections that endure til end of life. Adults at this stage will have either dealt with issues resulting from religious trauma or they will be unresolved til death. Adults with insurmountable religious trauma will have left the church or belief system by this point and either despair without it or find integrity in other life areas and ways.

WIP Asks: "Reminisce" next

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder,   regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little   snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many   people as you like.

I’m not sure when this one is set yet, definitely post-Dragonsong War and post-Foibles (FFXIVWrite2020.) Maybe post-4.0, depending. This is another Thancred PoV one, where they both open up a little bit about their pasts, him about Sharlayan and Gwen about how she made a living and what made her decide to learn botany and pick up a lance.

I’m really liking this one so far, but I’ve been torn about how the conversation about Gwen’s past should go. I’m not sure if I would rather it be dialogue, or a more vague description of what she’s talking about and his reactions to it. I’m sorta-kinda writing both at once and waiting for one of them to start coming easier and/or take off lol

(this is also where that First Lines snippet came from!)

Part of the WIP and a bit more summary below the cut.

Gwen and Thancred are fairly solidly together by this point, though they’re both still avoiding labels or addressing ‘them’ like the plague lest they upset this good thing they have going on. They’re both dinguses.

Despite that, he still doesn’t know much about her, as Gwen isn’t prone to offer much about herself unless it’s something particularly prudent or useful (”You need to shoot something? Don’t give me a bow, I’m not good with them.”) and even when asked she’s more likely to sort of avoid the question or give half-answers as she’s embarrassed about her past, even with Thancred. She’s very self-conscious about growing up alone and with nothing, struggling to get by and picking up and honing skills out of pure desperation. She’s also just a private person in general and not used to talking about herself, so even when she’s asked 100% judgement-free she’s just not sure what to say.

It can grow to be a bit frustrating, to say the least lol

-

Despite what the Adders’ reports and the increase in Ixali activity seemed to suggest, two days of reconnaissance in the Shroud has yielded little and less. No news is good news in the case of Primals, however, even if it makes the investigation feel a bit tedious.

The Ixali haven’t created any new routes to try and smuggle crystals under the Wailer’s and Adders’ noses, and their old paths have been abandoned since the last time Gwen laid Garuda low. The items stolen in roadside attacks were mostly sundries and foodstuffs bound for Coerthas which, while troubling, isn’t cause for the Scions’ concern. 

None of the travelers and merchants they’ve spoken with over the course of their investigation have been happy about being accosted in the middle of the woods, no matter how politely Gwen and the Adder recruits try to go about it. 

Thancred watches the latest victim of circumstance storm off down the road from his vantage point high in the trees. He lifts a hand to his linkpearl and remarks, “Seems he took offense.”

Gwen shakes her head, casting her gaze around the trees in search of him. “Just a bit. See anyone else?”

Thancred scans the road. “The road is clear, apart from your new acquaintance.”

She passes that on to the Adders, and they have a small discussion he can only assume pertains to what they intend to do next. Given the way things have been going, this investigation will surely be coming to an end soon.

Eventually the recruits salute and depart back up the way the traveler had come. Gwen doesn’t follow.

Thancred waits until they’re yalms away before speaking into the linkpearl. “What’s the word?”

“They’re going to the rendezvous with the other team, then contact the Adders’ Nest.” She tries to spot him in the trees again. And misses him, again. 

“And we get to hold position and await further word?” he drawls.

She nods. Then she remembers they’re speaking over linkpearl, “Yes.”

He sighs at the thought of more bells in the muggy forest. “Wonderful.”

Rather than continue searching the treetops for him, Gwen turns and makes for the bushes on the far side of the road. He watches with mild interest as she wanders through the untamed foliage, ducking out of sight every now and then and gradually wandering further from the road until he’s lost sight of her.

Foraging, if he had to guess. She’s never been a fan of sitting still, and it’s the perfect way to pass the time in a forest. He’s not sure how much she’ll find close to the road, as surely other travelers have already helped themselves to everything convenient.

Gwen has never hidden her skills as a botanist, per say, but she’s a great deal more open about them than she used to be, particularly when it comes to gathering herbs for her own use. Fetching tea leaves for a friend or herbs for a leve is all well and good, but collecting esoteric botanicals for herself is, apparently, a different matter. Perhaps a few too many people have commented about her snacking on dandelions and roots, or balked at the suggestion that they could do the same. 

Thancred winces and shifts on the branch, knowing he ought to count himself amongst the former. He puts that little blunder out of his mind, reminding himself he’d meant no ill will and had only been teasing. Her knowledge of Eorzea’s vegetation is nothing to be embarrassed about, nor is utilizing it as she sees fit, and they’re both well aware of that. She knows more than he does, despite the fact she hadn’t had access to the same extensive education and training.

He idly surveys the road, musing about how she’s rather reluctant to discuss how she learned botany, evasive when asked and quick to direct the conversation elsewhere. He can’t fault her for that, though. Many people consider childhoods spent mired in hardship to be a sore subject, and the two of them are no exceptions. Necessity, desperation and survival are wonderful motivators, but they don’t make for good small talk.

Which is likely also why comments about nibbling on weeds or foraging for odd ingredients are unwelcome; those ‘weeds’ may well have kept her alive. And isn’t that a hell of a thing to admit to? It’s not unlike the fact he’s not embarrassed by his ability to pick locks in seconds, but he recoils from the thought of admitting he’d picked up the skill breaking into homes and shops to steal food.

Eventually her lightly-staticy voice rings in his ear again. “Hungry?”

He’s mostly bored, and tired of the tree bark making an impression in his rear. “I take it you are, if you went looking for a snack.” 

“Just passing time, mostly.” A pause. Communicating when he can’t read her expression or fidgeting is always interesting, and occasionally vexing. “But we’ve been out here a while, so…”

Thancred gets to his feet and peers up and down the road again, straining his eye and searching for the shapes of travelers through the sparse trees. It’s all clear. 

“I don’t suppose you managed to find a wild bakery growing out there?” he asks, stretching his arms and legs in preparation for his descent. 

She laughs as the red of her coat comes into view through the trees. “I’m afraid not.”

He scoffs. “All that time studying botany and you can’t track down fresh bread in the wilderness?”

“Not even a single loaf,” she confesses, her remorseful tone colored with mirth.

“Shameful, honestly. Why did I even bring you along?” He starts climbing back down to the ground, her laugh bubbling warmly in his ear.

 Gwen’s excursion into the woods turned up a handful of roots, weeds and flowers that the average traveler wouldn’t look twice at. Between his survival training and his time in Dravania, particularly before he’d fashioned those obsidian knives, Thancred isn’t so easily perturbed.

They stroll along the road and snack, chatting and keeping an eye out for travelers or signs of movement in the trees. She walks on his left, sparing him the inconvenience of his blindspot. He has to turn his head to see her, though, but doesn’t mention it.

She shows him how to shave the hard skin off the roots, and then stares confusedly when he does it more masterfully than she had. He makes a bit of a show of it, carelessly flipping his hunting knife around in his fingers in a way that always makes her tense and reveling in her silent disapproval.

Gwen asks about Sharlayan and what the time he spent there was like, intent as ever to know more about him and draw out the things he normally keeps hidden. 

He chews, thinks, and decides to oblige her. Mayhap she’ll be convinced to return the favor.

He tells her about the city, the people, and the Studium to start. Then they spend a handful of yalms musing about the growing pains that came with maturing from a Lominsan wharf rat into a Sharlayan scholar. She has some questions, he has some answers --some more open and direct than others. Secrecy and facades are his habit, despite how easy she is to speak to and how well she can coax him out of his shell.

With the scene set, he weaves her a tale about some of his more harrowing lessons with Sharlayan’s masters of stealth and subtlety, sprinkling in a bit of the mischief he’d gotten up to here and there. She makes a good audience, listening attentively and reacting at the right parts. 

He finishes his tale and throws in a flick of his wrist for a bit of flourish, followed by a grandiose half-bow that earns him a laugh and a brief applause.

 They haven’t run into another traveler yet, or seen any suspicious movement in the woods. They turn around and begin making their way back to where they’d parted with the Adders recruits.

“Your turn,” Thancred prompts, lacing his fingers together behind his head.

Gwen cocks her head.

“A story for a story,” he says. “Tell me about yourself.”

-

(((Tangent: This reminded me I also want to write a fic about Gwen studying her ass off post-ARR because and struggling with self-consciousness when she realizes how limited her knowledge is and how little she knows about the fine details and advanced aspects of Aetherology and a dozen other things the Archons all discuss and debate with ease. She doesn’t feel stupid per say, it’s more she’s intimidated and embarrassed at how limited her knowledge is in comparison to them, as well as feeling a bit foolish for being proud of her novice conjury and thaumaturgy, and even her red magic. (Which is ridiculous, obvs.) It’s a bit like being a novice at something and then being humbled, even unintentionally, by an expert. Also a little bit of “being a smart person in a room of smarter people,” kind of feeling. She’s not dumb, but she feels way less smart than she is/thought she was when she’s around the Archons (too much so, even.) There’s also no small amount of envy about them growing up at studying in Sharlayan, and wishing she’d ever had, or would have, the chance to go to school and get/have that same breadth of knowledge. She’s not a very prideful person, but she is/was proud of learning all she did despite her situation, and being reminded of how non-comprehensive her knowledge is kinda stings. She did great, considering her circumstances... and that qualifier has never ceased to be annoying. Some of her self-consciousness also stems from her realizing a great deal of her mastery of red- and black-magic skills has to do with the Echo letting her absorb stuff super quickly, and she almost feels like that was cheating and wonders if she really actually knows it all as well as she thinks, or if the Echo is just...doing it for her, kinda.))) 

TC blogs frequently speak out about the harms of being under 18 but don’t realize that once your birthday has passed, it doesn’t mean it’s healthy or legal for your teacher to start dating you. “I turned 18, now they’re in a relationship with me!” That’s still predatory and unethical, especially if you’re still in high school. It doesn’t matter if you’re legal. You’re still a high school student. If your teacher begins dating you DURING or IMMEDIATELY after high school, then it says a lot about their own morals and values. A, I am so glad that E is not a creep like some of the teachers in this community. Everybody, stay safe and don’t let these teachers fool you. Just because you’re legally an adult doesn’t make it okay. Life after high school will make you think differently.

Hey,

Yes, you're right this is definitely a topic that's not really talked about on TC blogs. I have received a few asks in the past on what to do "after graduation" and whether or not anon should confess to their tc. I never want to give someone a direct answer or opinion on something so serious. You can only divulge so much and in any case I'm only receiving your perspective. There's definite bias as everything is being filtered through said person. I can never truly know the relationship you have with your tc, personal circumstances, or the intentions of your tc.

For me, personally, as I've shared before, E and I shared our first kiss a few months into my freshman year of undergrad. I never fully shared the timeline of how our relationship progressed. However, we didn't start dating right after that (far from it!). E always felt guilty about his feelings for me. After the moment we shared he kept trying to convince me to "experience college and meet other people." He would encourage me to date guys my age despite the fact that wasn't what either of us wanted. It took him a long time to overcome his guilt and reservations of our age gap relationship and being my first everything. He didn't want me to resent him or whatever came out of our relationship, because he thought it was unfair I wasn't experiencing these relationship milestones with someone my age. I think the negative stereotypes and societal labels really made him conflicted in the beginning as well. This was thankfully all untrue for our scenario, however, it still bothered E very much as he didn't want that kind of judgment and scrutiny.

We essentially had to become friends on a more equal level before exploring how we felt. You can be friends with your tc but you're still limited due to the age gap/power dynamic. The fact that he had these considerations in the first place and shared his feelings with me...made me realize how genuine he is. I still think he was quite harsh on himself to an extent, but that's a side effect of his strong character and morals. Everything in our relationship was slowly paced even though I wanted to rush certain things 😅 I always felt more "mature" for my age and although E agreed...I definitely had to mature and become more comfortable in my own skin throughout college. I don't think E and I would have lasted if I was still stuck in the mentality/place I was at during my senior year of high school.

It is concerning when adults have no reservations about being with someone once they turn 18. In most cases they're only after one thing if they seem too eager to literally jump all over you. Teen brains and adult brains are different and I'm sure everyone always cites how the prefrontal cortex (for rational decision making) isn't fully developed until you're 25. Teens and younger adults do tend to be more impulsive and our lack of life experience also furthers the gap between a tc or older crush. Please read up on predatory behaviors and trust your instinct if you feel like you're in an unhealthy or manipulative situation. Confide in someone you trust if you feel like some biases are blocking you from making a rational decision.