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startledstars · 3 years

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How can for (extreme) example kids being physically abused/raped by strangers/parents be a trial to overcome for good? Girls being kidnapped and sold for sex? Students stepping on a little puppy for views? If this is a sometimes situation where god lets evil thru, then its everyday 24/7 around the world not just sometimes. God cant stop evil, bacause we are everything between good and evil. Not god makes live wonderful nd miserable but we do. Towards us and others. Being afraid of live being meaningless none guiding us, that is what makes religioun(and other factors) u are free when u are open to see. There is no pure good and evil. Whatever you wet thru its not your fault, you happened to be where its bad but you are grown up indipendent and you can choose to be 'good' or 'bad' in order to help u or other people so long u live. But this god, at least how christianity potrays him, is a fear in your head that prevents you at crumbling infront of the worlds truth to make this all more bearable. People should believe whatever they want as long as it gets them going. But saying all you want is the truth, and yet believing in a god as the catholic religion and you present him. You seem to scared for the truth if you are willing to leave it at that. A simple as god knows. What kind of truth are you after? Be at least honest with yourself

Hi,

These are the right questions. The problem of evil is a Big One.

In the past century, we’ve had:

two cities decimated by a nuclear bomb

hundreds of millions of people killed by their own governments (socialism is orders of magnitude worse than the holocaust)

famines that lead to parents killing and eating their own children

a global “pandemic” that governments used as a power grab, shutting down the global economy, causing millions of people to starve

And these are only the things we know. For every rape, abuse, and act of violence that is reported, there are many more that go unreported and unpunished. However, almost every rapist/abuser/theif/murder/politician is justified in their own mind. The true mark of an evil person is that they believe they are righteous, to the point where they are above any laws, and will never be sorry for anything they do.

So, in a Godless world with no objective standards, it’s anyone’s game. Evil is simply a perception; an opinion. Same with good. You can choose to believe in a random, meaningless world where Shit Just Happens and humans are the highest power. You can choose to ignore the fact that there is an undeniable order to reality, where even atheistic scientists admit the universe is so finely tuned, they have to reevaluate their own theories. (That’s actually why the multi-verse theory exists. Scientists have no solid evidence that our universe is one of infinite parallel universe. Watch this video, time stamp 43:19 where famous athiest Dawkins admits the multiverse theory has no scientific evidence.)

You can turn your back on God because He allows things you disagree with. That’s what it usually boils down to: we look at evil with our limited intelligence, perception, and imagination, and decide that because we can’t find a reason for every single instance of wrong doing, no reason can exist.

It’s like a teenager getting mad at his parents because they enforced curfew. Like a toddler raging because she was denied that fifth piece of candy. In those moments, because the child can’t comprehend their parent’s decision, the parent’s character comes into question.

This is pride and short-sightedness, especially when we’re talking about an infinite creator operating on an infinite universe over an infinite span of time.

Again, I’m not condoning or justifying evil. The question of evil and human suffering is extremely valid. And I’ve never shied away from looking at the darkest parts of humanity, because that is an important piece of understanding reality. If you do a little digging, you’ll find that this world is so much more evil that you or I could begin to comprehend. People are evil, and it’s going to continue to get worse.

In the face of such evil, it would be easier to not believe in God. (There’s a post sitting in my drafts about how I actually tried to be an athiest because I couldn’t justify evil.) So I think you’re saying that I’m not sincere when I say “search for the truth,” because from your perspective, I believe in God either out of fear, or because it gives me a false sense of comfort. While I can understand why you might think that (because this is how I used to feel about Christians) it’s simply not the case here.

No one forced these beliefs on me. I am not part of any church or denomination-- the ‘catholic’ comment is a bit out of left field. I don’t blame myself for what happened to me. I don’t blame any victim for their circumstances. Idk there’s some level of misunderstanding and too much to unpack entirely.

But, if you’re looking for real answers to the problem of evil, I’d suggest approaching The Big Man himself. I do this all the time-- when I see something absolutely horrible, I ask Him how he could possibly allow that. Sometimes, He will give you answers (if you’re willing to hear Him out) and almost every time, He will send a sense of peace. This is something you have to experience for yourself to understand.

Also, here are some debates between Atheists at the top of their field and Christians. Both sides present arguments better than I ever could, and I actually watched these videos thinking the Atheists might sway me but. Well, see for yourself:

Does God exist? William Lane Craig vs Christopher Hitchens

Richard Dawkins vs John Lennox - The God Delusion Debate

William Lane Craig and CosmicSkeptic Discuss The Kalam Cosmological Argument

(Not a debate but worth checking out) Stephen Meyer: The Return of the God Hypothesis

Would God Allow Evil? CosmicSkeptic vs InspiringPhilosophy

And here’s a muslim vs. atheist debate to round things out

Bolded my favorites. These take a few hours to get through, but if you’re really interested in the problem of evil or the proof for God, these guys present it well. (btw surprisingly there is more logical/scientific proof for God’s existence than for the athiest or pantheistic model of reality. Check out this short clip. Science and religion used to be two sides of the same coin; people took an intelligent, ordered approach to studying the universe because they believed in an intelligent, ordered creator. So God answered the “why” and science answered the “how” of existence. Just some food for thought.)

I’d also recommend you look into the biblical story of Joseph (his own brothers sold him into slavery, but because of this, Joseph ended up ruling all of Egypt and saving the very brothers who betrayed him). And also the book of Job. While we can’t know everything about the mystery of evil, we can know enough to make an informed decision about God’s existence/character.

Anyways, thank you for this message. I hope you’ll consider the information in this response. I’m glad that you are asking the hard questions, and assure you that the answers are worth seeking and finding. Good night and God bless you :)

#spiritual awakening #spiritual awareness #wow anon really dropped the whole problem of evil\#literally the biggest problem in human history #right in my ask box #i rlly did my best #also lets not forget the jesus death at the cross #arguably the ultimate evil would be to punish an innocent man for the sins of the guilty #but god did that #because to defeat death you gotta die and come back #you can only defeat the ultimate evil by subjecting yourself to it first #and because of jesus' suffering literally billions of people are living better lives and have hope for the future #again its hard to understand unless youve experienced how REAL the peace joy and good health is #all the blessings are tangible #but it starts by searching for the truth #god actually wants you to ask him the hard questions #he does not command blind faith #he reveals his character to you first and allows you to make a decision

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syncogon · 6 years

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I'm interested what you have to say about Tang Rou and the 1v3 incident so let's have this ask sit here waiting for you :3

hmmm here are some thoughts:

- I’m already not a huge fan of Tang Rou because, despite her prominence to the story, she’s a pretty unsympathetic character. She gets practically no development (”pretty stubborn girl” into “secretly rich pretty stubborn girl”?), no POVs, and she’s not really facing any struggles that would make us want to root for her (like Wei Chen (and Ye Xiu) with aging, Fang Rui and Qiao Yifan (and Su Mucheng) with the teams that don’t want them, An Wenyi and Luo Ji trying to not be the team’s weak points, Mo Fan discovering the magic of teamwork, etc…). (I’m also personally not a huge fan of the stubborn-bruteforce-notbackingdown character trope, but that’s just a personal subjective thing.)

- No, Tang Rou just wants to be strong / beat Ye Xiu, which, sure, join the crowd, I guess. I could be more invested in her if we saw how her privileged upbringing shaped her, or why she’s so aggressive, but no, we just get her flat character presented to us like this. And this would be fine, but she’s one of the main characters of this series! One of the first four characters that BB created! It’s not really excusable.

- Her initial promise of the 1v3 was incredibly selfish and inconsiderate. An Wenyi was absolutely right to call her out on it as “irresponsible.” In her personal pursuit of a challenge, she completely ignored any of the side effects or ramifications it could have for her teammates or the team.

- It showed a total disregard for those around her. Did she consider or care about the effect this would have on Happy? Sure, she asks afterward that everyone blame her, but does that fix anything? Sure, she apologizes to Happy, but does she even actually mean it? Show any remorse? Try to make amends? There’s no sign that she actually cares.

- Then there’s her behavior after she failed, and how she decided to break her word just like that. Integrity is important, part of the basis of being a decent person! But Tang Rou just comes off as ridiculously privileged with how she acts like the rules don’t apply to her, like she’s above them, and above silly things like public opinion. Even when she is very clearly in the wrong with how she broke her word.

- It’s one thing to not let your worth be determined by others and be strong in the face of criticism, but it’s another to just… disregard everyone’s opinions. If someone hates you, it might be their problem. If a whole lot of people hate you and bring up valid and logical reasons, then you should probably reconsider what you’re doing (psst, people tend not to like people with no moral integrity). But does Tang Rou show any sign of self-reflection?

- We love watching Ye Xiu and Happy being shameless - it’s funny, we admire their cleverness and boldness. But Ye Xiu, it’s pointed out multiple times in the novel, never actually goes back on his word. He’s straightforward and fair and relatively trustworthy - if he says he does something, he’ll do it. Even Blue River, amidst all his suffering, will admit that. We even see Ye Xiu using this very fact to be “shameless” at All-Star S10! But what Tang Rou did doesn’t fall under this. To borrow the words of a friend, “It wasn’t clever. She didn’t succeed. She didn’t have a loophole, or some other way of dealing with the consequences.”

- What bothers me the most about all this is how BB handles it. If she weren’t a main character, we would all hate the arrogant way she acted. But because she’s Tang Rou, we’re all just like “oh lol happy being shameless again haha troll those reporters.” Although we see there are some real consequences, none of them seem to have any real weight - the fine is brushed off, Tang Rou shows no real remorse or learning, no one important (ie anyone aside from the media, whose opinion she can just brush off) calls her out on her shitty actions, not even a little, and the other pro players, with whom we’re supposed to sympathize more than the “ordinary” people, support her. If anything, the whole thing is just used as another way to show how resilient Happy is to such things. True, the reporters were definitely in the wrong for forcing her into this situation in the first place, but the narrative doesn’t properly condemn Tang Rou for her role in the matter either.

- There’s also the gross fact that of *course* they’re targeting a female for being so bold, forcing her to submit, which is a whole set of other problems that I don’t want to get into right now aside from a reiteration that I’m disappointed in the gender ratio and female portrayals in QZGS.

- And what was the point of having this whole arc anyway? To borrow the words of another friend, “it doesn’t tell us anything that hasn’t already been hammered in over and over again, it just shows it at an even bigger scale that makes her look somewhat unreasonable. TR’s characterization is largely focused upon exactly this for 1000 chapters or so already.” What significance did this whole thing have on the story as a whole? Not only do we not really gain any new insight into her (aside from her relationship with her dad, which although appreciated is mostly played as a joke anyway), Tang Rou didn’t change or grow as a result, nor did any of the other characters, and there’s no lingering plot significance either. True, after this round, Happy began its win streak, but there’s no correlation shown. So, why was this arc even necessary?

Basically she just kind of comes off as entitled and selfish yet the narrative doesn’t really condemn her for it, nor does she grow/change/learn as a result, nor is there greater significance. That’s what bothers me about the whole thing.

#quan zhi gao shou #meta #ask #anon #this got so long omg i hope it still makes sense #mine

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our-controversial-opinions · 7 years

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ANTIFA is going to be the downfall of everything America stood for

Just watching the news of what Antifa has been up to, I’ve been shaking my head and mourning the loss of American freedom. Antifa’s tantrums and recent threats to kill Trump for the anti-liberal decisions the Republican party has made have easily been comparable to a child. A child whose parents just divorced due to parenting differences and they got stuck with the parent that actually disciplines their children instead of giving them everything they want. You don’t get to pick your parents, kids. You do, however, get to pick your president.

Americans have the liberty of voting for their leader who, in fact, doesn’t even actually lead unless they need to keep their PR up to date. They talk. They’re a face. Trump isn’t any different. Antifa seems to believe that isn’t the case. Trump is a yappy chihuahua on a leash that just so happens to have nuclear launch codes (which I’m sure he’s forgotten already) but everything he does has repercussions within his own government. The Republican party lets him talk but they hold the leash. Yes, there are more people behind the conservative decisions that everyone hates. We’ve been under democratic leadership for the majority of this turn in history where everyone seems to think they’re privileged and entitled to explanations, to reparations, to forgiveness, and to a blurred definition of ‘justice.’ Nobody owes anyone. Forgive and forget so you can live instead of dedicating your life to a cause that will ultimately end in making someone miserable just for you to feel better. What kind of justice is that?

We notice that the more mature democrats took this presidency like they did every other time it didn’t go their way. They brushed it off and said ‘we’ll get em next time.’ I’m a millennial and I acknowledge that it’s the millennials that are losing their minds like it’s the end of the world that he’s the president. Antifa was a byproduct of lax parenting, a right to entitlement, and a screwed up sense of justice. All of our movies, books, etc. has always told us that the good wins in the end. That constant exposure and ‘justice’ has made everyone think that’s how it works in the real world. It’s really not. Everyone’s sense of justice is blurred and different. No two people will have the same opinion on justice. (ex: If you were to come up with the punishment for every sex offender in America, what would it be? How would you classify them? What would be grounds for that title? Because right now you can be sent to prison and labeled as a sex offender if you just so happen to download porn of a 17 year old girl advertising herself as 18 AND if you just so happen to have more than 7 files, your charge will be ‘Possession of Child Pornography with the Intent to Distribute’ and you will end up with 5+ years in prison just for believing a teenage girl when she lied about her age. How would you settle that?) Nobody has the same ideas for justice because everyone thinks differently as you probably noticed when considering the answers to the questions previously presented. Nobody will be happy no matter who is in office. All we can do is keep our mouths shut and wait until next time. That’s the mature way to handle it. (Doesn’t mean we don’t have to complain the whole time. By all means, complain and ridicule till your heart’s content.)

Antifa has taken such a violent approach to this disagreement that the government is looking down on them as a child that has been spoiled into adulthood, not accepting that the world doesn’t bend to their whims like it did for their whole life. A child with guns that they can hurt people with. The moment the order goes out officially labeling Antifa as a terrorist organization and/or treasonous against America, allowing officers to arrest and charge members as criminals, Antifa will play victim and pull the ‘just kidding’ card. I’m sorry but if you ever say something horrible knowing it’s horrible and follow it with ‘just kidding’ so you can get away with saying it, I lose all respect for you. That is not okay. However, that is how over half of this population gets away with being rude to people. Because everyone is entitled to their own opinion, right?

Antifa and people who defend Antifa have claimed that they haven’t been violent. When regular people (or “sheep” as you so politely call us) are afraid to stand against you because they fear you like they fear a wild animal rather than see you as a person, you have a problem. I know a lot of Antifa members use Tumblr and I know you guys may see this post. I don’t look forward to it because I DO fear you. You are a terror to this nation and people are scared of you, but I will not accept any abuse from you because you don’t agree with me.

If there is one thing I want Antifa members to read, it’s this:

You are creating a more strict, more dangerous, more scary, and more fearful nation by your actions. When you are cracked down on, the rest of America will suffer with you. The same way that bratty kid gets the whole class in trouble, you will ruin the freedom we’ve had. We were a country of freedom. Then you got offended over everything, started demanding things you are not owed, and threatened those who got in your way. Now, we’re suffering for it. Before you go into your next rally or plot to kill the president, think about whether or not your life is worth it for this ridiculous notion that you can change what’s going on. We are a system for a reason. A system that can help you if you put the effort into it instead of being lazy and expecting everything to fall into your lap. If you gave up on that system, you didn’t have a chance to succeed. You’re throwing a wrench into the cogs of our system and we are not planning to fail. If we do, however, what do you want after that? Anarchy? We will all be thrown into poverty and you will be the reason this nation lost its freedom. Sit down, shut up, and wait until the next voting period before trying to make a change. There is no perfect world. We were as close to it as we could be before everyone started taking it for granted.

Thanks, your friendly neighborhood straight, white, privileged millennial female who just wants to live without fear.

Censorship on the internet is starting to happen because some people just can’t handle the reality that is the world. People are assholes and you need to learn not to take it to heart. Don’t riot against people who can’t do anything about it at that very moment because they’re currently focused on the big picture for the nation. That doesn’t mean you group everyone of their race or tax bracket together and tell them to pay you back for their words or actions via taxes. I am a white, straight, privileged female who has no clue of your struggles. What I do know is that because of the fact that my family is Republican and I live in South Texas, I am automatically in a group of people that is told that it is okay for you to beat me, to abuse me, and that my feelings don’t matter because I have more than you do. That I supposedly haven’t struggled.

Living in a low income neighborhood in a crap 3 bedroom, 1 & 1/2 bathroom trailer that’s falling apart from the inside out, my mother struggling to feed myself and my four younger brothers after the divorce from my abusive father, that’s a struggle. Apparently my situation isn’t valid, however, because I was only in that situation from 2009 until June 2016 when she remarried a wealthy, nice man who gave us a nice home and a warm bed to sleep in. I’m not still in that situation. People that are still in that situation get to talk about it. I’m not allowed to mention that part of my life or I’m an attention seeker who’s making things up or being dramatic. There’s nothing dramatic about cold winters wrapped in hand-me-down quilts and roaches crawling out of the sink every time you turn on the lights to bathroom. It’s a cold, hard truth that everyone of every color has the possibility of experiencing.

( The Demands from Chanelle Helm from Black Lives Matter: https://www.leoweekly.com/2017/08/white-people/ )

( The Official Black Lives Matter website, again with demands that would make the quality of life for black people better but at the cost of white people’s hard earned money: https://policy.m4bl.org/ Just scroll on down to the demands. They’re separated into categories for us. )

Then I get to see Antifa and Black Lives Matter on the news saying all white people should pay reparations to them for their struggles. Where are my reparations? My father already pays child support but what about the bills paid and food stamps used by my mother? I should be paid back for that too, right? And I’m going to ask all Mexicans to pay me back because that was the kind of neighborhood I lived in. They stole gas out of my car and stalked me down the street when I got off the school bus after school on my own. I was 12 when I noticed what was going on. THAT is about how much sense these ‘reparations’ and ‘demands’ make. Want to talk about racism? It’s not just the white neo-nazis out there that are racist. I’m pretty sure the posters saying ‘They voted for Trump, they deserve this even if they’re women’ with pictures of white women with bruises on their face is pretty racist and sexist. I didn’t even vote this year!

Fake/Joke or not, these posters are circulating around the internet and SOMEONE is going to take them seriously. These posters scare me. I am scared to talk to anybody that I don’t already know because you just don’t know if you’re going to happen upon an Antifa member who plans to beat you to death behind a dumpster because you’re a privileged white woman.

The nation is becoming a more dangerous with Antifa’s presence and contagious mindset. America functions and maintains its freedom by staying unified in a system rather than fighting and destroying the system. Dramatic changes needed to be made to start the fight to get America out of debt and save ourselves a war with some of the biggest countries in the world. Debt to other nations that own nukes and control most of our trade is more dangerous than hurt feelings. Antifa has become the weak link that attacks us from the inside and could lead to the nation’s downfall if someone starts a war with us. When you’re working in a factory for another nation, paid in rice and living in small shelters, then you can revolt about your hurt feelings. When this whole nation is privileged compared to most other nations in the world, we look like fools because of Antifa’s antics.

Nobody needs to be running around with a hero complex like it’s all fun and games with no consequences. There are plenty of other organizations to join that don’t involve trying to destroy the government and ruin everyone’s lives. If you’re an teenager on Tumblr who just goes to Antifa gatherings on the weekends to mess with the government and push buttons so you feel special, get out of it. Criminals are becoming known for using Antifa as a way to get away with doing what they want to the government in retaliation for their sentences and/or titles, including sex offenders with very serious rape charges and violent felons. Covering their face protects them from the police that are focused on the rioting and everyone within the group trusts each other more than they should. It’s horrifying. You could be raped or murdered in the chaos and nobody would be able to help you.

I personally hope that an order gets passed down to allow police to arrest every Antifa member that shows up to these rallies as a terrorist or for treason. I hope it’s explosive, violent, and shocking. The bratty kid needs to get their butt whooped by the parent until they get their act together. Peaceful protest is constitutional, what Antifa does isn’t protected by any of our rights. Antifa is lucky they’ve gotten as far as they have and they’re definitely digging a pretty deep hole for themselves. Hope you are prepared for the possibility of prison if you are actively fighting in these rallies. If you’re a bystander, I’d love to hear your input on the situation.

- F. Grayson

Note: This post is intended to be opinionated based on “factual resources” collected, read, and watched by the author. (If this were a paper for my college class, I would have provided a Bibliography, not a Works Cited. That’s the difference for fellow college nerds.) By no means are any of the statements intended to be taken as straight facts. They are simply as accurate as possible according to the author’s knowledge. This is a topic up for debate. Feel free to reply with an educated statement in a post. I, however, will not be replying to any replies on this post. Do what you will. I have said what I want to say as my icebreaker for this blog. If you have taken offense or believe that this post was too harsh, you’ll need to just learn how to ignore me. Expect more in the future.

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graceivers · 7 years

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Review #25 - November 9

November 9 Author: Colleen Hoover Genre: Contemporary Romance Rating: ★ Recommendation: not worth it; once was enough Summary: Fallon is an actress who has difficulty finding on-screen work these days given her changed physical appearance. Ben is an aspiring writer with a big secret. After meeting briefly, they agree to meet each other one day a year until they are twenty-three. During this time, they ‘fall in love with each other’, but that secret Ben’s hiding might just ruin everything.

Female Lead: There are two major things about Fallon that must be discussed. One okay thing and one horrible thing that Hoover did that made this character absolutely insufferable. First, Fallon’s insecurities. This is the first Hoover book I’ve read, but I’ve read enough summaries and brief reviews on Goodreads regarding this book and her others to know that this is Hoover’s theme: battered and insecure girls. Fallon has scars from fourth-degree burns over a large section of her body. She was previously an actress, so appearances mean a lot. The okay thing was that her insecurities are understandable. Having her passion/dream and self-confidence taken away from her because of her scars makes sense. Getting attached to Ben who doesn’t try to ignore the fact that she has these scars and subsequently makes her feel beautiful regardless is understandable. Wanting attention and acquiring self-confidence through validation from others is relatable. These are all the things that made Fallon’s character work.

The biggest problem with Fallon’s character? THE ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE, DEMEANING, AND BELITTLING WAY HOOVER WROTE AND TREATED HER FEMALE CHARACTER. I’m a feminist, people. Let’s put that out there. And I have a serious, serious issue with the way Hoover treated Fallon’s character because honestly, this female lead was manipulated and used to prop up the male hero and make him feel better about himself for all the damage he has done. I mean, after everything Ben had done to Fallon, she not only forgives him but also apologizes! THIS IS DISGUSTING. Why is Fallon apologizing to Ben for treating him the way she did when she found out the truth? He deserved it and worse! The fact that Hoover made the female apologize to the male when the former did nothing wrong compared to the latter makes this book really unforgivable to me. This girl is the victim here, but Hoover turns it around and tries to make us feel for the guy instead. NO. WRONG ANSWER. Fallon does not deserve to be treated this way by Ben or Hoover for that matter. She is not a prop; her purpose in the book should never be to ease the conscience of the male who wronged her. Absolutely not. No thank you. Male Lead: Never have I been so infuriated with a character before on such a deep level. There have been plenty of other jerk male leads who are a dumb and annoying and make terrible decisions, but Ben takes the cake. He’s the worst kind of character that does not deserve the love and attention he receives from Fallon and all you readers that classify him as a book boyfriend. You think this guy is boyfriend material because of the way he speaks in prose and makes Fallon feel beautiful and special? You’re wrong. I am honestly and genuinely sorry, but you are so dead wrong.

Ben is invasive and not in a good way at all. He manipulatively inserts himself into Fallon’s life. He rarely if ever asks for permission or consent, and even when he does, it’s beyond the point of doing so. He makes Fallon cry more often than not. He took her dress off without an absolute yes from her. HE IS NOT FUNNY AT ALL. Almost every time he opened his mouth to tell Fallon about how she should not care about what other people think, I was like WRONG ANSWER. He wants people to laugh at her? He tells her that it’s her fault the way people treat her with her scars? WRONG ANSWER. WRONG ANSWER. That is not endearing. That’s insensitive and disgusting, especially considering the particular role he played in Fallon’s life circumstances overall. I don’t care that speaks in a ‘beautiful’ way. Hoover was smart in making him a writer so he could talk that way, but that does not excuse his horrendous, manipulative, and invasive behavior at all.

It is clear to me that Hoover cared a lot more about making a redeeming and ‘book-boyfriend’ worthy male than writing a solid female lead. Ben is given so much slack and leeway; he’s given a substantially more important part of the overarching plot line as well as receiving all the secondary plots for additional angst and emotions from his reactions. Maybe in other circumstances I would’ve generally ignored this, but I cannot here when Hoover clearly wanted to make a shrine for Ben who does not deserve one and basically sacrificed Fallon to build that shrine. I’m so angry and disgusted. Plot & Writing: November 9 was messed-up on so many levels. For an innocent-, romantic-, and borderline comedic-sounding plot, this book is not any of those things. It’s dramatic and angsty and not in any of the ways I enjoy. And yeah, Hoover alludes to the major plot twist in the summary, but good God, I never expected the plot twist to be so revolting.

The one okay thing I somewhat enjoyed was the structure of the book and all of its meta references. I liked the fact that it was meta, however, I did not like that despite the fact the characters were cognizant of comparing their relationship to common romance novel tropes, those moments were reduced to nothing. I mean, the characters constantly talk about the pitfalls of instalove, and yet their relationship was exactly that. And I’m supposed to believe in it and support it? It does not matter that it’s been five years since they met. They’ve spent less than those five days together—as people, as strangers, as friends, or as a couple. They don’t know each other, and while I can be as much as a hopeless romantic as anyone, Fallon clearly should’ve gotten to know this disgusting jackass—excuse my language—before ‘falling in love with him’. I didn’t believe in their relationship prior to the plot twist, and I certainly didn’t believe in it or care for their relationship at all after knowing it. In fact, I would say I was adamantly against their relationship. I wanted Fallon to keep her distance. I wanted her to move back to New York. I wanted Ben to suffer for the rest of his life knowing that was what he deserved after everything he said and did to Fallon.

I said a lot about how I felt Hoover did such injustice to her female character, but I must add some more. I really, honestly kind of resent Hoover for writing Fallon the way she did, and I am genuinely unlikely to read any of her other books—no matter how highly rated they are on Goodreads—because if her pattern of broken and insecure women continues the way it did here, I am not going to put myself through that. It was shockingly horrible the way Hoover treated her female character with such little regard. To me, Fallon was genuinely a prop to make Ben feel better about himself. It was all about Ben and what Hoover could do to redeem him and have him forgive himself at Fallon’s expense. I mean, why else was Fallon the one that had to fly to California to see him every year they met up? Why was Ben given the angsty secondary plot and emotional turmoil when Fallon was the real victim? Why was Fallon the one that had to sacrifice and make him feel better? Why was Ben allowed to talk to Fallon the way he did? Why did Fallon take it just because he was the first guy that paid sexual attention to her? WHY, HOOVER? Why did you deprecate your female character so much? It was so sickening that I almost felt personally attacked as a female. Again, I understand that Fallon was attached to Ben because he made her feel beautiful when no one else did. But Jesus, knowing the reasoning for why he was there that day in the first place? His poetic words of love are all negated. I get why Fallon found self-worth through Ben’s attention, but no woman should ever devalue herself so much the way Hoover disparaged Fallon. I repeat. NO WOMAN SHOULD EVER DEVALUE HERSELF THAT WAY AND ONLY SEE HER SELF-WORTH AND VALUE IN CATERING TO A MAN’S NEEDS.

Also, because this is me, the sex scenes. They were not explicit and kind of faded to black. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and I’m all for it, really. But did it seem like they didn’t use protection? Yes. I know condom isn’t exactly a sexy word, and again, Hoover didn’t write descriptive sex, which is fine. But it felt like they didn’t care and that there was no protection. Not okay. Secondary Characters & Plots: KYLE KESSLER, I MOURNED YOUR SHORT BUT AWESOME LIFE. Seriously, Kyle was the only character I loved and cared about. Well, him and Jordyn. But alas, Hoover made Ben use Jordyn too, so that was annoying. The only other secondary characters that stuck out was Fallon’s father. He was not a great dude either. The two seconds we saw of Fallon’s mother and her friend, Amber, were so negligent. I mean, it seemed like Hoover tried to give Fallon a supportive and strong female friendship, but clearly she didn’t care about any of the females in her book to write it convincingly.

The secondary plot of killing off the amazing Kyle Kessler? I hated it. I hated it not only because Kyle and Jordyn certainly didn’t deserve that, but also because it was so painfully and disgustingly obvious that Hoover only made that decision to increase the level of angst for Ben and Ben only. Hoover only wanted Ben to feel sad; she only wanted us to feel sympathetic for Ben. I did not buy any of it. Favorite Part(s): When Kyle decked Ben. Seriously, if we can just copy and paste that single line over every single line of every single page, I would be so much happier and would give the book like a four and half star rating. Kyle, you were the only sane and good one. Final Thoughts: I genuinely do not understand why November 9 is the highest rated book I’ve read on Goodreads. It does not deserve any of the tears or praise it has received. I am so mad at the characters in the book, at the disgusting overall storyline including the plot twist, and at Hoover for her horrendous anti-feminist writing. My recommendation is stated above: not worth it. In fact, the recommendation should read: NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND FIND SOMETHING ELSE THAT DOESN’T BELITTLE WOMEN IN FAVOR OF MEN. And I stick adamantly by those words.

#book: november 9 #author: colleen hoover #genre: contemporary romance #rating: one star

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3 Suggestions For Coping with Sexual Harassment On the Activity

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3 Suggestions For Coping with Sexual Harassment On the Activity

This weekend, the net changed into abuzz with the information that a former Uber engineer had long gone public with damning claims: Uber isn’t a tremendous area to paintings, and permits an opposed work environment for its girl engineers. I could have informed you that even though they have got in no way been my customer; they’re competitive, take no prisoners fashion and their clean refusal to pay attention to criminal suggest turned into a trademark of this to me. Seasoned tip: businesses that don’t listen to felony suggest additionally don’t provide their HR any electricity (and they tend to be very poorly educated).

Coping with Sexual

Password Suggestion List

The gist of the story is a woman engineer, Susan Fowler Righetti, who takes place to be making a name for herself as a professional in her subject, had a horrible time running for Uber. She became immediately propositioned via her manager (and when I say straight away, I suggest inside some hours of him turning into her supervisor), and things went downhill from there Give Us Life.

I wish I could say I was bowled over by using her tale. I wasn’t. I’ve heard worse. What I used to be surprised through turned into her willingness to publicly percentage it. Due to the fact, Uber knew and counted on an almost standard reality: women and those of color don’t record discrimination or harassment once they price their career. And nearly each person at Uber values their profession greatly.

A few people might also disagree, however, I’ve seen my share of conditions that show this to be real. I recognize of a scenario at a regulation company where a rainmaking companion had intercourse with a summer season partner. Of route this tainted her revel in, and I’m a hundred% sure, from private information, that she felt pressured into the connection. Useless to mention, she didn’t go back, specifically after an uncomfortable conversation with HR due to a sincerely awkward scenario. And you will by no means recognize who she is. because of the path, she didn’t sue, despite the fact that she becomes essentially told not to come back returned.

Why might a female deal with what Susan Fowler Righetti treated, and not sue, now not bitch publicly whilst at Uber (inclusive of, it seems, even an EEOC charge)? I’m able to come up with a few examples, but the first-rate is Ellen Pao.

When employment lawyers like me consider sex discrimination and well-known woman, we consider Ann Hopkins. Do you know she never worked everywhere else in her profession, however, PriceWaterhouseCooper?

There’s an actual price plaintiffs pay for making their dispute with their employer public, specifically if that plaintiff is a woman. I’m positive you’ve got visible many situations chronicled right here at ATL.

What’s my recommendation for a person who is incomparable footwear to Susan Fowler Righetti?

1. recognize what you want. Think lengthy and hard approximately what the favored outcome is, and what you’re inclined to do to get there. Are you inclined to take the danger that you will never work within the industry again? Are you geared up to move on immediately? Is your business enterprise the sort of place where bigotry and harassment are possibly a part of the way of life? Regularly, with ladies, in particular, they will have an aim of creating the location better for female personnel. but unfortunately, one employee can’t do this. Sometimes even elegance moves aren’t capable of changing deep seeded problems with an enterprise’s way of life. You have to decide what you are preventing for an if it’s miles surely well worth it or even feasible to achieve.

2. Have to assist for what you are claiming. lamentably, he-said, she stated has a tendency to fall in want of the business enterprise When push comes to shove. Even the EEOC is reluctant to take an aspect without A few concrete proof. One of the things that Susan appears to have executed nicely turned into documenting events. it’s far possibly that right now, someplace, she has copies of the inappropriate messages from her manager. The identical messages she gave to HR. I hate to mention it, however, snapshots or it didn’t appear is pretty essential for “proving” harassment. And even then, it may no longer be sufficient.

three. It all comes all the way down to cash. The principled ladies I come upon are Often aghast at this, however for every employer, claims of discrimination and harassment constantly come right down to dollar values. How lots do they need to pay to make All of it go away. And a touch acknowledged fact is, these claims are capped with the aid of federal and nation law. So even when you have all the evidence you need to expose how awful the enterprise became, if the maximum damages don’t contact their backside line, not anything can also exchange. certain, small employers can research right away how dangerous it is to have a tradition like this. however, for Uber, they may don’t forget this the price of doing enterprise, and discover their “excessive performers” are worth a few discrimination court cases.

I Suppose that anybody experiencing something like Susan did at Uber should at once attain out to an employment attorney. And I discover it sickening While an agency may be so callous, and dishonest, approximately a scenario along with an antagonistic work environment based totally on gender. Similarly, I strongly consider Uber knew lengthy before Susan wrote this weblog put up exactly what passed off. but I additionally would no longer want all and sundry to get worried on this struggle without knowing what they’re up against. And being in reality prepared for a fight. If like Anne Hopkins, you’re willing to spend your whole profession at the organization you’re ready to sue, it could work out for you. but, if like Susan Fowler Righetti, you’re considering going public together with your employer’s misdeeds, make sure you’re a posted professional in your discipline and have already got a new corporation covered up. Have receipts accessible, to preserve the organization from getting too gregarious in their response. And be prepared for a backlash. Because sadly, telling the reality can ruin your career.

Sexual Harassment and sex Discrimination Answers

Sexual harassment is a shape of sex discrimination that violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Title VII applies to employers with 15 or more personnel, which include country and nearby governments. It additionally applies to employment organizations and too hard work agencies, as well as to the federal government.

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Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or bodily conduct of a sexual nature constitute sexual harassment When this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual’s employment, unreasonably interferes with a person’s paintings overall performance, or creates an intimidating, adversarial, or offensive work surroundings.

Here are A few Frequently Asked Questions:

What’s sexual harassment?

Sexual harassment is defined as “unwelcome sexual advances or behavior.” Sexual harassment consists of quid Pro quo harassment or an opposed or offensive work surroundings. Sexual harassment is any sort of sexual conduct this is unwelcome and/or beside the point for the work region. Sexual harassment can take many forms: verbal harassment, e.G. Sexual or grimy jokes, visual harassment, e.G. Drawings, emails, and so forth., physical harassment, and sexual favors, e.G. Sexual advances, disagreement with sexual demands (quid pro quo sexual harassment). in the painting’s place, sexual harassment can come from the owner, supervisors, managers, and co-people. Sexual harassment does not most effective arise within the location of the painting; it can arise off-web page at workplace capabilities and parties.

What’s quid Seasoned quo sexual harassment?

Quid Seasoned quo sexual harassment takes area When a supervisor or someone with authority over your Process needs sexual favors from you in alternate for a promotion, raise or A few another advantage, which includes preserving your Task. The call for sexual favors can be explicit, e.G. “if you have sex with me, I’m able to sell you,” or it may be implied from unwelcome bodily contact which includes touching or fondling.

What should I prove to prevail in a motive of motion for quid Pro quo sexual harassment?

You ought to display that a manager, or a person with authority over your Process, explicitly or implicitly conditioned an Activity, retention of your Task, a Process advantage (improve, business trip, or A few another benefit), to your popularity of sexual behavior. You have to demonstrate that a harasser is a person with authority who can have an effect on situations of your employment. You also ought to show that the sexual conduct become unwelcome.

How can I prove that the sexual behavior became unwelcome?

The sexual behavior has to be unwelcome. You can display that the conduct was unwelcome via showing which you: explicitly rejected his/her sexual advances; you suffered emotional misery; your Activity performance deteriorated; you prevented the harasser; you informed pals and/or circle of relatives of the harassment, and also you instructed an enterprise representative of the harassment. Each case is exclusive and your case may additionally or may not include a number of these examples.

What are my treatments in a quid Pro quo sexual harassment case?

The law gives that You can recover damages from your business enterprise as soon as you’ve got validated that you have been deprived of a Process gain, or suffered a detrimental employment movement, e.G. Failure to promote, termination of employment Because you refused to accept your supervisor’s sexual needs.

What To Do If I Assume I’m the victim of Sexual Harassment?

keep a report of the activities surrounding the sexual harassment, include the date, time, area, and who became a gift. Your notes might also turn out to be very essential in litigating the case, however, undergo in thoughts that those notes can be required to grow to become over to the company for the duration of the discovery segment of litigation. Test the enterprise’s employee handbook, if one exists, to determine if the enterprise has a technique for coping with sexual harassment proceedings. If the agency has a method for submitting a sexual harassment complaint you have to follow it.

If you do not complain to the agency, the business enterprise can effectively protect itself from legal responsibility with the aid of arguing that it become now not privy to the problem, and therefore was not able to treatment the hassle. But, if the trouble isn’t remedied, You may want to talk to a lawyer for a recommendation on how to document a formal criticism with the precise federal or country or city enterprise. You can nevertheless need to talk with a legal professional before you report the complaint with the employer to ensure that it is communicated as it should be.

List of Good Passwords

as soon as I inform my company approximately the sexual harassment, what have to my organization do?

once the agency knows or should recognize approximately the harassment, it has an obligation to take immediate and suitable corrective movement to stop the harassment. The enterprise’s response has to be moderately calculated to give up the harassment and if in advance field did no longer stop the harassment, more severe discipline is needed.

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