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#geraskier rescue
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Prompt 26
Jaskier has been recognized as the runaway viscount of lettenhove by a band of bandits. Embarrassingly, they seemed to have found him in the midst of buying a personalized gift addressed "To My Beloved." Perhaps a hairclip shaped like a dandelion, or perhaps an embroidered handkerchief, or something else dainty and delightful. The bandits drag Jaskier away for ransom, even as he tries futilely to explain that his lover will NOT be polite to them if they continue down this road. I mean, whatever fancy shmancy noblewoman whose skirt he's chasing can't be that threatening to their operation, right? They write up a ransom note, intending on sending it along with a lock of Jaskier's hair, and a few drops of his blood to show they're serious. They slice across Jaskier's wrist, but there's much much much more blood than they expected, because the man slicing his wrist is suddenly missing his head. Huh. Perhaps they've underestimated Jaskier's beloved. He did try to warn them.
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thelostgirl21 · 10 months
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One of my favorite parts of the Radskier romance?
The emotional maturity and healthy relationship expectations of Prince King Radovid when it comes to Jaskier.
Romantic infatuation needs to be nurtured to be given a chance to grow to turn into actual romantic love.
And when someone has developed an emotionally intimate (and potentially queerplatonic) relationship with another person for over 20 years; and built themselves a family also involving that closest friend's romantic partner (Yennefer) and his Child of Suprise (Ciri), you should expect that romantic interest of yours to make that family their #1 priority.
You should find their ability to deeply commit to the ones they already love, and not suddenly lose interest in them as soon as they find someone shiny and new, as a very good sign.
Because it's extremely likely that - should the romantic infatuation you now experience evolve into genuine love - they won't grow tired of you, and/or lose interest in your relationship easily.
You'll become a part of their found family, too.
Sincerely, when I met the man I've now been with for 17 years, if he'd dropped his weekly D&D game nights with the friends he'd had since he was a kid to freaking date me, I'm pretty sure I would have broken things up with him right on the spot!
Actually, one of the first things we did, when we started dating, was meet each other's closest friends, to see if we'd be a good fit in each other's lives.
You often learn so much more about a romantic interest by watching how caring and devoted they are to those they've already emotionally bonded with, than by interacting with them all on your own.
Yes, you also need to take the time to build some intimacy; but your life together as a couple, if you ever reach that stage, is going to be filled with people sharing both your hearts and your time!
There's a difference between that romantic crush of yours making the effort to integrate you into their own lives, and making time for you so you can get to truly know each other and build a connection; and them suddenly neglecting their platonic and/or alterous relationships and no longer making them a priority in their lives because "Hey, look! I've got a romantic interest now!"
If they are neglecting the people they love because you suddenly showed up, I'd consider it deeply, deeply worrying.
17 years later, my partner still plays D&D once a week (and the boys are awesome friends to us both), I have my own personal tribe (my dance troupe) that I'm deeply close to, and one of the girls came to live with us for 2 weeks Sunday night, because she broke up with her boyfriend recently, needs a place to stay, I freaking love her to death, and we're family.
When I asked my partner if he was fine with her staying over and sharing our home, there was no hesitation on his part in saying "Yes".
We care for and support our family, regardless of who our friends are the closest to.
Because, obviously, there is no need for a romantic partner to grow as emotionally close and intimate to some of your best friends as you are. Ex: They don't need to know all of their secrets, listen to them for hours, and hold them in their arms to provide emotional support when they are going through a hard time the same way you would.
But there needs to be respect and support of those relationships. They need to allow you space and time for you to listen to them for hours, and hold them in your arms to provide emotional support when they are going through a tough time.
And vice versa.
When you are helping someone you love through a tough time, the last thing you need is to be worried about your romantic partner being jealous and resentful over the time you are giving others.
And sometimes, you find yourself connecting more strongly with some of their own friends on certain matters, and suddenly becoming their confidante, too. For example, my romantic partner is a monoamorous heteroromantic heterosexual, and I'm an ambiamorous panromantic demisexual pansexual.
When one of his best friends started questioning if he might be polyamorous, and needed someone to talk with to help him figure out his feelings and how best to approach the subject with his romantic partner, my partner immediately went "It's not that I don't want to support you or listen to you, it's just that I've a feeling you should be talking to my girlfriend about this. She'll be more likely to have some intimate understanding of what you're going through, and she's been professionally trained in counseling."
He's got great respect and acceptance of queer identities (wouldn't be in a romantic relationship with me if he didn't), but he gets utterly lost in them and all the definitions and concepts.
I, however, love discussing and exploring them. So, that best friend and I got to learn a lot about each other during our talks, discovered a lot of shared interests, and grew very close.
Actually, we realized that we were extremely alike in many ways, and that Frédérick (my partner) just might have a "type" of person he's more likely to build an emotional connection with, platonically or otherwise.
I'm also aunt and godmother to wonderful children I've got absolutely no blood relations to.
Found families matter at the very least as much, if not sometimes even more, than romantic partners.
And I believe that the way Jaskier is speaking about the people he loves, the lengths and the risks he is willing to go to in order to protect them, is deeply appealing to Radovid.
In Radovid's world, relationships are commodities to be used to gain influence or power.
You "love" what serves you and makes you more politically relevant and influential, and you can potentially drop them as soon as you find something (i.e. someone) that can bring you more influence or be more useful.
He's been forced to live in a toxic, dangerous, and downright deadly environment, filled with relationships based on lies and deceit, where he had no purpose, and was deeply unhappy.
And I think that he wants to have a chance to build a family of his own based on genuine emotional connections, and/or would be delighted to be given a chance to become part of Jaskier's own found family.
He asked "does the Witcher know how lucky he is to have you?" with a sense of wonder for what it must be like to have someone love you the way Jaskier loves, and to be free to love that person back.
Besides his affection for his brother, perhaps, there was nothing holding Radovid back from leaving the castle and the only life he'd ever known behind.
And truth is, I can't even say how healthy his relationship with his brother truly was.
Most of the time, Radovid was pretty much cheering Vizimir from the sidelines and feeding into his narcissism... But, at least, his brother being King gave him an illusion of safety, I think, until the "Hedwig incident" drove home that no one - not even the freaking Queen herself - was safe with Dijkstra and Philippa around.
In terms of his own emotional, psychological, and even physical well-being, Radovid had everything to gain by getting out of there and following Jaskier.
He could thus afford to "leave everything behind" to follow someone he'd met like 5 times in total in his life. In this context, Radovid truly was choosing himself as much as he was choosing Jaskier.
But Jaskier? He's got a family having made a permanent home in his heart, people that he loves, people that rely on him, and emotional connections that he'd give everything to protect.
And so, Radovid chose to help Jaskier keep his own heart safe, by offering to go help him find and protect his family. He wants to be there with and for him.
Radovid very much seems to understand that Jaskier's family means everything to him. He gets it. That's likely one of the reasons why he finds him so special and attractive in the first place.
Jaskier having a family to go to, and having built bonds of love and loyalty, is what makes it worth it for Radovid to leave everything behind for a potential partner that is healthy enough not to.
Jaskier's a freaking keeper, and that prince is smart enough to know one when he finds one!
And, by showing his full respect and support of Jaskier's other close relationships, Radovid is demonstrating that he'd likely be a good romantic partner to him as well.
Someone that would love all of him, including the parts of Jaskier that Radovid would have to share with others.
Perhaps that's why if it weren't for the writers themselves being a potential threat to their relationship, I could definitely see it work.
Of all the people in his life, Jaskier approached that relationship essentially telling Radovid: "This is who I am an what matters to me... The idea of fully settling down at court gives me urticaria; but I'd be willing to do it, at least for a time, if that kept my little niece and her adoptive parents - the people I love more than anything in the word - safe from threats. I'm not always in the mood for songs, or especially "entertaining" to have around. I've been broken hearted and hurt before, and have developed certain trust issues when it comes to relationships... I'm deeply loyal and devoted to those that have gained my trust and have grown very emotionally intimate with... I might lash out to protect my heart, but reassess in light of new evidence that the other person was hurting, too, and trying to keep their own head above water (or downright on their shoulders). I can forgive mistakes and still love regardless... Oh, and from that whole scene you witnessed with Vespula when we first met, I'm assuming that you've already deduced I sort of have a strong, adventurous approach to my sexuality, and am not exactly the monoamorous kind. Should we ever form a romantic couple, I can't guarantee I won't also have other sexual encounters with some of my dearest friends, but also potentially strangers."
And Radovid's like "Yup! That's the man for me, and I'd love to follow you out there in the world if you'll have me!"
So, it's hard for me not to feel at least a bit optimistic.
And, while Radovid obviously can no longer do that (follow him into the world, that is... At least, for now...), I think he might have a realistic enough approach to life and relationships that, should Jaskier try to offer him creative solutions to make it work as best they can in a world filled with uncertainties, he might be able to listen to his ideas, offer solutions of his own, and adapt.
They're two brilliantly empathetic queer boys in love... They've got it!
If they aim for anything conventional or traditional, they're screwed (and not in the fun way)!
If they make their own rules, and design the relationship to fit the way they love rather than how others would want them to love (i.e. pay no heed to what others say to sing, by going with their own needs instead) there's a world of possibilities for them to explore together.
They could have enough together, and be enough for each other.
And, from the way Radovid's been listening to everything Jaskier's been saying (and singing) since they met, and showing a concern for his own safety, well-being and happiness, given the opportunity, he just might be the one to surprise Jaskier and show some very creative thinking of his own.
Because when Radovid decided that what suited him in life was to help Jaskier protect his family, he immediately went into problem solving mode, was very effective, and showed resourcefulness (forget about baths! I need you to take my cloak and everything I have with fur to turn them into money that might help us on our journey).
He's like Jaskier's own Jaskier, in a sense.
"Look, I'm growing very attached to that guy, and if keeping his family safe is such a huge part of who he is, then I'm going with him to look after him!"
Can you imagine if Radovid had successfully gotten out of that castle, though?
You have Geralt ready to declare war on anyone that stands between him and his daughter.
Jaskier coming along to help rescue Ciri and look after Geralt.
And Radovid coming along to help rescue Ciri and look after Jaskier.
Geralt: This is Jaskier, my emotional support bard... and Radovid, my emotional support bard's emotional support Prince.
This is like Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster's intern, having her own intern.
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Next thing you know...
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Seriously though, each part of the season had such different vibes...
Season 3, part 1: Finally! Jaskier's been adopted into a forever home, and he's got people looking after him and openly appreciating him now! Was about time!
Season 3, part 2: JFC! Not again! *Heavy sigh* Can someone please, please adopt that ridiculous puppy of a Prince?! He needs a forever home and people to look after him, too!
So really, when it comes to how Radovid appears to be handling relationships, that freaking sense of entitlement and self-importance that would have him become a villain absolutely isn't there.
Book Radovid was a 13-year-old boy that was deeply upset that no one noticed him and his mother, and showed them the respect he believed they were owed!
He couldn't wait to show the world what he could do!
He was portrayed as an immature entitled brat to begin with!
This version of Radovid is the exact opposite.
He's like "Look, I'm just useless to the crown and terrible at politics, spying and being a prince... I just want to follow my heart and get out of here!"
He doesn't want the world to see or notice him, he's constantly hiding himself in window alcoves, corners, and trying to make himself as small as he can, for frak's sake!
He even introduced himself to Jaskier going "Ah, Radovid... Comma Prince", putting his Royal identity last.
At first, I thought it was done for humorous purposes, but it's quite telling, actually.
Being "Prince" is like some ball and chain he's been dragging behind him, weighting him down, rather than a source of pride and personal worth.
Having him magically turning into a villain would make absolutely no sense...
I'm not saying they won't do it. But the character's psychological foundations are miles away from the infamous "dark triad".
Will he allow Philippa and Dijkstra to do terrible things in his name? Perhaps. Stockholm syndrome might kick in, and he might find himself emotionally bonding with them to survive and make sense of a world that would otherwise drive him mad.
As someone that's been trauma bonded to a malignant narcissistic mother for almost 3 decades, I know how powerful Stockholm syndrome can be as a psychological protective mechanism.
But I can't fathom Radovid being inherently cruel or tyrannical.
Convincing himself that Dijkstra and Philippa really "like him" and are looking out for him and the Kingdom's best interests because of being unable to face how hopelessly fucked he is? Sure!
Now that he's been violently thrown into the spotlight and deprived of his usual safety mechanisms, Dijkstra and Philippa might capitalize on this by brainwashing him into perceiving them as "misunderstood", and the only people that have ever truly cared about him and/or respected him.
Survival instincts can be a bitch to fight at times and totally cloud your mind. The absence of cruelty becomes read as "kindness", and your ability to comply with their expectations becomes perceived as a way to "control" what happens to you. And thus, you wind up feeling like you have power over the actions of your abusers (the real threat) through your ability to constantly pacify them.
So yeah, if you want to use Stockholm syndrome to make him go against his very nature, and fall prey to the mind controlling skills of two very dangerous people, with very high sociopathic tendencies?
Yeah, that could realistically happen. And Jaskier would become the most dangerous adversary they would ever be facing in the whole freaking Continent.
Every platonic, alterous, or romantic friend or love interest of mine, that my mother didn't approve of and couldn't fully seduce and control, too, she would make sure to drive away.
My mother only ever tolerated the friends and lovers that fed her own ego and reinforced the level of influence she had on my environment and myself.
And it usually worked. I would be adopting her P.O.V. on my relationships, and breaking up with significant others to avoid risking to lose her approval.
Until I met someone that made me feel so unconditionally loved, respected, and emotionally safe - someone that was capable of loving me the way I was, resolve conflicts without seeking to dominate or control me, and always strove for "win-win" scenarios and balance between my needs and his - that her attempts to play the victim and "expose him as the true threat" to my happiness and well-being utterly failed.
Stockholm syndrome / trauma bonding can be broken by someone showing you that you'll have people that love you, support you, will believe you, and will be there to fight by your side should you be brave enough to oppose your aggressor(s) and attempt to break free from their control.
Your mind will start noticing their violence, and let you realise you've never been safe with them when you stop subconsciously believing that you have no way of ever truly escaping their influence, and the situation is hopeless.
So yeah, if Radovid believes everyone in the castle is under Dijkstra and Philippa's control, and there's no one he can trust to follow any order that would go against their will, he might comply, do what they want, and instinctively create a narrative in his mind that would give them the role of allies and protectors.
But Jaskier's one of the most influencial voices of the Continent. "Blood Origin" (that I absolutely loved, by the way... Don't know what so many people seemed to have against it...), was all about showing the power of stories, and the way they could be used to bring Empires down.
Jaskier could likely break their hold on Radovid, and put the power back in his hands, if it ever came down to it.
So, having Radovid become "dangerous" to others, by adopting Dijkstra and Philippa's P. O. V. without being psychologically able to fight their influence on his own until someone makes him snap out of it, and offers him better alternatives?
It's believable.
But him inherently being a genocidal maniac at his core? That would make zero sense. He's way too empathetic and caring about the emotional well-being of others for that.
Jaskier: "I need to find my family."
Radovid: "Here, let me give up my claim to the throne, sell my valuables, and come help you rescue those you love because you need my help, and I want to be there with you."
Yes... That's... That's what sociopaths do... And they weep over their dead guards' bodies while hiding in corners, especially when they're alone and have no one to put a show for.
That's how people start burning witches at the stake. Makes sense...
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geraskierficrecs · 2 years
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Villainous One Shot
I decided to have some fun in with our favorite villain and hero.  It can be read as a standalone or as part of the series. 
Read it here.
Here’s a teaser:
“Well well well,” the stranger said with the dramatic delivery of a stage performer at a community theatre.  Jaskier would have been appalled. “I’ve been looking forward to this.”
“I’d say the same, but I have no idea who you are.”
The man looked startled by the lack of pleading or alarm, but he rallied quickly.  “They call me the Furnace….because I intend to burn this city to the ground.”
For a moment, Geralt could only gape at him and wait for him to explain that this was some elaborate prank.  The man–the Furnace–continued to stare back at him, posing like he was on the front of some magazine.  Was he, was he fucking wearing lipgloss?
“Please, tell me you aren’t serious.  I’m not calling you that,” he said, trying to keep his voice even.  “Did the press give you that name or did you pick it out yourself?”
The Furnace frowned at him.  “What do you mean?”
“That’s the stupidest fucking name I’ve ever heard.”  Something close to a giggle slipped out and he gritted his teeth against the urge to lose all control.  Jaskier was going to have a field day with this.  He just had to make sure Lambert never found out that he was kidnapped by this idiot. “Tell me you didn’t already claim credit for trying to kidnap me.”
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a-case-of-attachment · 10 months
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Rating: M
Pairings: Geralt x Jaskier
Warnings: canon typical violence ~ blood ~ monster of the week ~ Jaskier attacks trouble ~ swearing
The Friend ->
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Geralt grunted, the alderman’s rambling fading into the background as he let his mind wonder to what the creature could actually be instead of what the idiot was speculating it was.
If the idiot was to be believed then at night a gentle and haunting song would filter though the trees that surround the small village, calling to the young men of the settlement and seemingly taking hold of their minds and driving them to the woods. People had tried to stop them, had even gone as far as to lock the men up but one always seemed to get free and come morning their cold and lifeless body would be found floating face up in the river not half a mile into the woods.
One of the braver, or stupid depending on how you looked at it, women of the village had followed her soon to be husband in hopes of being able to save him from his bleak fate. She had been greeted with a women who seemed to glow with an unnatural beauty, green eyes bright and long flowing red hair that reached all the way down to her bare feet. The brave and stupid women had tried to save the man she loved when he had gone willingly into the water, the beings hair wrapping around his feet and dragging him under but all she had gotten for her efforts was an ugly and jagged scar on her once pretty face and a body to burry.
A widow before she even had the chance to become a wife.
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“Have any young women drowned recently, either by their own hand or another’s?” Geralt cut across whatever the plump and haggard looking man was saying, ignoring Jaskier’s little disapproving hum from behind. The fat little man huffed, crossing his arms across his chest and jutted his chin up and out, looking up at Geralt with clear annoyance.
Geralt’s frown deepened, crossing his own arms over his chest and standing up straighter, making himself look more intimidating. Jaskier called it his Witcher stance, Geralt called it getting bored with human bullshit and wanting answers now. The alderman’s eyes widened slightly, any bravado he had shrivelling up when faced with Geralt’s general menacing aura.
“The inn keeper’s daughter was found about a month prior to the first attack,” he mumbled, looking away from Geralt nervously. He hummed, giving the stout little man a once over before spinning on his heels and striding from the room. “We’ll let you know when it’s done,” Jaskier called out as he hurried to catch up with Geralt. “That is if we…” Geralt turned his head slightly to look at the man next to him, raising an eyebrow at him. “….you are taking the job?” he looked up at Geralt, a little unsure sounding but his steady gaze never wavering.
Grunting he turned away from the bard, heading back towards the inn and the room they had waiting for them. Jaskier thankfully didn’t ask Geralt anything else, slipping back to his mindless humming that Geralt had gotten used to tuning out over the few short years they had been travelling together. Something he was grateful for because he might have strangled the bard by now otherwise.
Once they had made it back to the inn Geralt had hopped that Jaskier would stay down stairs, keep himself busy by entertaining the late afternoon crowd but Geralt was not that lucky and the bard followed him up the rickety stairs and back to their room. It wasn’t much but it had a fire and one bed of a decent size. It was by no means the first time they would have to share a bed but things were starting to get a little, difficult for Geralt.
He wasn’t sure when it had started but suddenly, one evening in some nameless little village he had found himself watching the bard prance around a tavern, singing Geralt’s praises and he had found himself smiling, genuinely amused and fond of the spectacle. He had suspected magic but after a quick trip to the locale mage that suspicion had been quickly put to rest and Geralt was left with the realisation that he was annoyingly quite enamoured with the idiot.
Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, he could shove the feelings down and ignore them but the last five inns that they had stayed in they had been forced to share a bed. Geralt would have accused Jaskier of doing it on purpose, trying to irritate Geralt in some new way, except Geralt was the one seeking the rooms and he had most definitely been aiming for separate room, settling for separate beds if he had to but he had no such luck and he found himself more often then not shoved up against the bard and trying not to touch him more than was necessary. It was driving him crazy and his resolve was starting to crack.
“I don’t suppose you know what kind of monster it is? From what the alderman said I thought siren but surely we are to far in land for such a thing,” Jaskier prattled on, moving around the room like some sort of bird, flitting from one place to another. Geralt picked up his silver sword, checking its sharpness before deciding it would do, placing it back in its sheath and slinging the whole thing over his shoulder.
“Rusalka” he grunted, turning to his saddle bag and started checking over his various positions. He didn’t think he would need any, by all rights this should be over within minuets but he liked to be prepared as best as he could. These things could get vicious though and the last thing he wanted was some crazed spirit trying the claw his face off whilst simultaneously trying to drown him.
“Ah! A rusalka how silly of me not to have realised,” Jaskier exclaimed loudly and despite his best efforts Geralt found himself turning to look over his shoulder at the other man, smiling softly at the exasperated glare the bard was directing his way. “And prey tell Witcher, what exactly is a rusalka to those of us who haven’t spent years studying the encyclopaedia of monster?” he snipped tersely, hands on his hips and looking at Geralt expectantly.
Huffing Geralt turned back to what he was doing, schooling his features and trying not to think about how he wanted to kiss the indigent look of the bards lips. “Female. Hates men. Ether drowned herself or by someone else. Lures her victims by singing then drowns them,” Geralt grunted his words out, stating the minimum he could get away with. He knew it wouldn’t be enough for Jaskier, the man always clamouring for details when Geralt didn’t want to give them. It was annoying and on more than one occasion he had yelled at Jaskier when he wouldn’t stop pressing for more but as if by some small miracle the bard just made a small humming noise to signal his understanding and kept his mouth shut. Any other time he might question his sudden silence but Geralt could practically hear Jaskier’s mind working as he turned the information over in his mind, trying to decide how to piece together a song.
Determining that he had everything he needed Geralt slung his pack over his shoulder and stood up. He didn’t say anything, just heading towards the door and knowing Jaskier would follow him like a little puppy. He should make him stay behind but that had never worked in the past and he doubted it would work now. They would just waist time arguing and in the end all it would do was annoy Geralt. This shouldn’t be that dangerous any way so there was no real harm in letting Jaskier tag along for once.
If possible Geralt wanted to end this the easy way by digging up the poor girl’s grave and covering her bones in salt and sage before setting the whole thing on fire. If done in daylight it wouldn’t hurt her, the twisted thing her spirt had been forced into passing on peacefully. It was easier that way and a damn better option then having to run her through with his sword. With Jaskier there as well at least Geralt would have his insistent strumming and singing to help pass the time. He suffered no delusions that the bard would actually help with the digging, God’s forbid he get dirt on his clothes. Before any of that though Geralt needed to find out where she had been buried.
Things had not gone to plan.
To Geralt’s annoyance the current inn keeper was in fact not the one whose daughter had died. Geralt had grumbled, ready to have to go looking through the small towns rather large cemetery for any headstones of young girls who had died recently but before he could even turn away from the disgruntled looking man Jaskier had slid up next to him and smiled brightly at the man and starting a casual conversation whilst ordering them both an ale.
It hadn’t taken him long to worm the information out of the man. He used flowery words and gave the man all his attention, leaning in to whisper, laughing brightly at his rather piss poor jokes and laying his hands on the other man in a manor that suggested anything but casual and innocent.
Geralt fucking hatted it.
It was a constant struggle not to lean across and shove the man back every time he leaned in to far, his lips close enough to the bard’s ear that he was practically licking it. Geralt’s patience had worn thin though when he had dared to lay his hand on the bards arm and squeeze gently at the muscles Geralt knew lay under the fine silk. He had actually growled at that, glaring at the man and though he had backed of slightly Jaskier coaxed him back with his disarming charm quick enough. Geralt wanted to pull the bard away but his flirting was actually working and they soon had answers, though not ones Geralt was too happy with.
The previous inn keeper and his wife had left just days after their daughter’s death and had taken her body with them. No one knew what they intended to do with the body but when asked they had simply said they were taking her home. That had set Geralt’s original plan up in flames and he had been ready to go sit in the back corner and drink his ale until night fell and he could go relieve the rusalka of its head but Jaskier had pushed, seeking more information and the inn keeper had jumped at the chance to gossip like an old hag.
Rumour had it that she had been having a sordid affair with the blacksmiths son, a man three years her elder at twenty two and with a wife and a young son already. Word had it that she too had ended up with child and the man had panicked. They had met down by the river and he had tried to give her money for a mage to get rid of the child but when she had refused he had flown into a rage and ended up drowning the poor girl, leaving her body there in hopes it would wash away downstream.
Geralt wasn’t surprised by the information, it was normally how a rusalka came into existence. Well that or they drowned themselves after being stuck in a loveless marriage or a man having forced himself on them. Sometimes it was jealous lovers who did the drowning, driven into a blind rage when they were faced with the reality that the one they loved was not actually theirs but that was rare as in those instances people tended to end up stabbed to death or strangled instead. Either way it was the same. A women who had been wronged in some way and had paid the price with her life only to come back seeking revenge on men in general. In this case she had gotten it.
Her third victim had been the blacksmiths son.
Jaskier had been greatly saddened by this information and not long after they had made their way to the back of the tavern, newly refilled drinks in hand and nothing else to do but wait till the sun set and the rusalka started to sing.
Jaskier asked a few more questions, mostly about how to kill a rusalka. He hadn’t said kill though. Jaskier had asked how to set the poor thing free, his bright blue eyes shimmering with pity and sadness. It always amazed Geralt how Jaskier could feel such compassion for even the most evil things. He hadn’t understood at first, thinking it was the bard just being an idiot but as the years had passed Geralt had come to understand that it was just the kind of man Jaskier was. He didn’t judge by what society told him but by what he perceived. To him the rusalka was just the spirit of a poor young girl who had fallen in love with the wrong man and had paid a steep price for her misjudgement. She deserved respect and the curtesy of a quick and as painless end as they could give her and Geralt hoped to accomplish that.
As the night drew in the tavern emptied of men, all of them having scurried home to lock themselves away in hope that they would not be the next to die and leaving the women to roam free, something they had seemed to enjoy from he looks of it. He and Jaskier had ventured outside as the night drew on, ready to act as soon as the rusalka showed its self. After a few hours though Jaskier had disappeared off round the back of a building to relieve himself, humming a gentle and almost melancholy tune and leaving Geralt stood in the middle of the dirt street, eyes closed and ears straining for the singing to start.
It had been a mistake to let Jaskier out of his sight.
The singing started just before midnight. It was gentle, being carried on the wind and full of longing and heartbreak. It made Geralt’s chest ache, a sadness washing over him but his mutations made him resistant to such magic’s and he was able to ignore the desire to run to the women’s aid. So focused he was on the singing coming from the woods that it took him longer than it should have to realise that Jaskier’s gentle humming had stopped, along with the steady beat of his heart that Geralt had gotten so used to by now that it just faded into the background, a constant and now it was no longer there everything seemed so much quieter.
Cursing he had quickly made his way round the back of the building, not surprised to find the bard gone. Drawing his sword Geralt had quickly made off after Jaskier, his footsteps light as he bounded into the wood. He wasn’t that far ahead, Geralt already able to hear Jaskier’s unsteady footsteps as he stumbled through the undergrowth, moving quickly towards where the singing was coming from. Geralt knew he was close but he still felt that same tang of fear he got every time Jaskier got too close to a monster and it was made even worse by the fact that Geralt had been so sure no harm would come to the other man tonight. He should know by now that when it came to Jaskier he would always manage to fined trouble.
He burst through the tree line, stepping out into a clearing the same time as Jaskier did. He was a little further along than Geralt, blue eyes glazed over and silent tears streaming down his cheeks. He didn’t even seem to notice Geralt, his attention focused on the women who stood on the river’s edge, her arms outstretched towards Jaskier and singing gently.
Her red hair was long, pooling on the floor by her bare feet, her green eyes bright like emeralds and her pail skin almost glowing in the moon light that streamed through the gap in the trees. She looked other worldly, the simple white nightdress she had on billowing in the wind. The rusalka was beautiful, even more so than the girl had been in life and Geralt could understand why mortal men went to her. Could understand why Jaskier who was always so enamoured with beauty, love and heartbreak was getting closer, lifting his own arms as he reached out for her hands. Their fingers bushed, the rusalka’s wistful smile twisting slightly into something darker, knowing that her prey was so close. She took a step back, her foot slipping into the cold water of the river and the ends of her hair reaching out to wrap around Jaskier’s ankles.
Geralt moved quickly, darting forward and reaching out. His hand curled around Jaskier’s elbow, his fingers digging in to the point of bruising as he pulled the bard out of the way. The rusalka screamed, high pitched and angry, her once beautiful face morphing to look like that of a corpse that had been left to rot for months on end. She tried to lunge for Jaskier, her clawed hands scratching across Geralt’s arm as he shoved the other man to the floor and placed himself between the two. The wound stung, her nails slicing through his clothes and skin but Geralt gritted his teeth, slamming his shoulder into her chest and sending the thing stumbling back.
Gripping the handle of his silver sword tighter Geralt perused the monster. She snarled at him, her purple and rotted flesh splitting at her lips to show of her teeth. She lunged at him, hands reaching out for him but Geralt easily moved out the way of the attack, swinging his sword round as he went. The sliver glinted in the moonlight as he brought the blade back down, slicing across her back and chopping half of her hair off.
Her scream of pain was loud, the sound sending birds scattering and other wildlife running. Geralt would have thought she would turn on him, angry and desperate but his actions had moved their footing and now he was no longer in between the monster and Jaskier who still lay on the ground. He was propped up on one arm, clutching at his head with the other hand and blinking the fog from his eyes. The rusalka moved forward, the action drawing Jaskier’s attention to it. The confusion quickly left him, his eyes going wide as he quickly scrambled back.
“GERALT!” he yelled, the air thick with the stench of his fear as the rusalka descended on him, her claw like hands grabbing at the front of his doublet and ripping through the delicate silk. The scent of the bard’s blood filled the air as he cried out, his head tipping back and exposing the delicate column of his neck as he kicked out at the creature above him. Geralt was already moving before Jaskier had even gotten his name out, striding across the clearing to get to them. He grabbed a fistful of the rusalka’s remaining hair, jerking its head back and exposing its throat. Its sharpened nails scratched at his hands and arms but Geralt paid it no attention as he brought he sword round and in one quick move slit the monsters throat.
It screamed, squirming in Geralt’s hold but as its blood gurgled from the wound the rusalka stilled, going limp in his hold. Grunting Geralt yanked it backwards, pushing the body to the floor so he could get a good look at Jaskier. He stared up at Geralt with wide shock filled eyes and his mouth hanging open. He was covered in the thick black blood of the rusalka, the liquid having soaked the entire front of his outfit. It was even dripping down his face, making his blue eyes seem even brighter. He looked as bad as Geralt normally did and it made a change for Jaskier to be the one completely covered in blood instead of him.
Geralt didn’t like it.
“Shut your mouth before you swallow that shit,” he growled out angrily and Jaskier automatically snapped his mouth shut, his shock easily slipping into annoyance. He used the back of his sleeve to wipe the worst of it off his face, pushing himself to his feet. “I wouldn’t have to worry about swallowing anything Geralt if you hadn’t decided to kill it right over me,” he snapped, making his way over to the river to wash his face and hands now it was rusalka free. Geralt grunted as he sunk to his knees next to the body, taking his hunting knife from it sheath on his thigh and proceeded to cut the things head off as proof of kill for the alderman. “Next time I’ll let it strange you then,” he snarled as he put his weight behind the blade and forced it between the two vertebrae. There was a sickening pop as they came free from one another and then the head lolled back, now only attached by skin and muscle.
“I mean look at me Geralt, another outfit ruined. You best hope the alderman pays handsomely for this because you will be buying me replacements this time Witcher”. The rusalka’s blood was ice cold and thick like sludge, drenching his hands as Geralt finished taking its head off. Its blood smelt like the river it had been drowned it, murky and full of piss and shit. He probably should tell Jaskier that it wasn’t the kind of river you should be washing in but a part of him found it funny that the normally fussy bad was practically washing away blood with piss. He would pay for a bath once they made it back to the inn, they both needed one and Jaskier would appreciate getting a chance to clean properly.
Putting the hunting knife away, Geralt’s got to his feet, rusalka head in one hand and sword in the other and started back towards the village. “I ain’t replacing shit bard, shouldn’t have wondered off. Again,” Geralt yelled over his shoulder, Jaskier’s indignant squark his only answer. Geralt could smell his annoyance, his fear, the faint tang of his blood but like always under everything was Jaskier’s excitement. Coming along on hunts got Jaskier excited, his heart pumping and adrenaline flowing through his veins. He would be on edge for the rest of the night, jittery and ready to do something. Geralt knew that after their bath Jaskier would redress and slip off into the night to find someone to work his excess energy off with and the thought only made Geralt a little jealous.
He shoved the thought away, concentrating on making his way back through the woods and making sure Jaskier was following him, not wanting to have to come back and look for him if he got lost. At some point Jaskier began to hum, mumbling the odd word so low that even Geralt struggled to understand what he was saying. The tune was sad, if not a little whimsical and Geralt could recognise the vague similarity’s to the song the rusalka had been singing and what Jaskier had already been humming earlier that evening. Of course he would already be working on a song, had already started it whilst they had been at the tavern and the idea had been fresh in his mind. If Jaskier was anything it was that he was dedicated to his art and he would always be composing regardless of the situation.
Geralt felt himself smile slightly at the absurdity of it all. Jaskier had just seen Geralt behead a monster that had been trying to kill him, getting drenched in blood in the process and here he was composing something that sounded almost almost like a love song.
Geralt’s life could be strange sometimes but no more so than when Jaskier was around.
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sleepsonfutons · 2 years
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Eskel & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Lambert Characters: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Eskel (The Witcher), Lambert (The Witcher), Priscilla (The Witcher), Adrien de Rouleau | Le Papillon, Roach (The Witcher) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Horse Search & Rescue, Damsel in distress Jaskier, University Rock Climbing Trip, Mudslide, missing person, Minor Character(s), Minor Canonical Character(s), state park, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Is Not a Witcher, Roach is the Best (The Witcher), Air-Scenting, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, vlogger jaskier, Horse Girl Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Saves Jaskier | Dandelion, Partially Buried in a Mudslide, Priscilla is the only one with any sense, Jaskier | Dandelion is Extra, No Beta We Die Like Stragabor Should Have, Hypothermia, First Aid Needed, My First Fanfic, My First AO3 Post, Getting Together Summary:
A 3-day storm, an impromptu ride, a lost group of college students, and a mudslide lead Geralt to find the thing he never knew he was looking for.
An alternate first meeting fic.
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fangirleaconmigo · 11 months
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Geralt x Dandelion (Jaskier) in The Witcher books Masterpost
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I thought I would make a masterpost for my "I Can't Believe It's Not Fanon" (otherwise known as..."facts that sound like Geraskier fic writers made them up but are, in fact, book canon") series.
I will add to this post, so rb it and keep an eye on it. I have at least one more big post coming up.
Geralt rescuing Dandelion from kidnappers (and slaughtering and threatening a bunch of people for him)
Geralt plays it cool, but secretly loves Dandelion's singing
Geralt and Dandelion Domesticity (sharing beds and clothing)
Geralt and Dandelion Domesticity (pooling money and Dandelion bullying racists)
Geralt is Dandelion's specialest boy (Dandelion defending Geralt)
Dandelion is Geralt's Most Important Damsel (Geralt defending Dandelion)
Geralt and Dandelion patching up each other's wounds
Geralt learning Dandelion's real name
Sweet quiet moment of Geralt asking Dandelion's advice (and Dandy begging him not to kill a dragon)
A doppler turns into Dandelion to protect itself from Geralt and it gets more interesting from there.
So the tag is I Can't Believe It's Not Fanon, and I also do a series called Canon or Fanon in response to asks. But since the tag system on tumblr isn't great, there are the biggies. Just thought I'd make it a little easier on you guys.
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dftea · 6 months
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Like a friend, like a parent, like a blessing
Ciri & Jaskier, hurt/comfort (geraskier/yennskier/OT3 vibes)
As she picks her way through the rubble, the first person Ciri finds is Jaskier.
His bright blue doublet is covered in dark purple splotches, his legs pinned beneath a fallen wooden beam.
Except the purple is blood, isn't it? Blood that should stay within his fragile human body.
Ciri crashes to her knees beside Jaskier's head, and he looks up at her with unfocused eyes.
"Geralt?"
She shakes her head - she hasn't seen him, not since he told her to get out of the way, to lie low. She hasn't seen Yennefer either, can barely see anything through the cloud of dust and debris.
"He'll be here soon," she says, hoping she isn't lying to him, cursing the tremble in her voice.
"Princess," he says fondly, smiling at her with bloody teeth. "I'm glad it's you."
He lifts a hand to caress her cheek, but it is far too weak, leaving a warm and sticky trail on her skin.
"No, no, no - you're going to be fine." She tries to convince herself, convince him, but it's a poor show.
"Tell your father…your mother…"
"Tell them yourself," she says, fiercely, taking hold of his hand and squeezing it with both of her own.
"I love you all very much," he says, so very fond, so very faint.
Which is when Yennefer appears like vengeance personified, swooping in to set one hand on Jaskier's hand and the other on his chest.
"No fucking goodbyes, bard," she says, stern and terrible. (Maybe a little bit terrified, Ciri thinks, but trying her best to hide it).
Jaskier turns to her with a sigh of relief. "Well, thank fuck for that, witch - I am too pretty to die."
"Ciri, Yen!"
Another sigh from Jaskier, because his White Wolf is alive and well enough to shout. Ciri thinks he isn't even hoping for Geralt's aid in his rescue - just knowing he's survived is enough for him.
It is terrifying how deeply Jaskier loves them. How can they bear to carry such responsibility?
Geralt pushes his way through a teetering pile of rubble - and stops dead. But it is only a moment of despair, a fleeting expression of hopelessness, before he's at Jaskier's side.
His hand sweeps back the bard's blood-matted hair, his fingers brushing Yennefer's, his other hand warm on Ciri's shoulder.
"I told you to wait outside," he growls, and Ciri isn't sure if that reprimand is meant for her or Jaskier.
"You know me," Jaskier says, but it's breathless now, faded. He's lost too much blood.
Geralt's eyes meet Yennefer's above Jaskier's head. Wordlessly, he moves to grab hold of the beam across Jaskier's legs and hefts it up and away.
A choked off scream - and then Jaskier's eyes are closed, his body still in the ever-widening pool of blood.
But lilac-scented chaos is pouring through him, knitting him back together as the very ground beneath Yennefer cracks and crumbles as she draws from it.
She pulls back her hands. "I have done all I can," she says, but her look of grim satisfaction says it is enough.
Jaskier will live. He is, after all, too pretty to die. And Ciri has to tell him that she loves him too: like a friend, like a parent, like a blessing. 
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If you're taking dialogue prompts then I would suggest Geraskier 20 and/or 45 and/or 92. ❤
20. “You are so unbelievably strong. So, so strong.”
45. “You lied to me.”
92. “My heart is beating… that’s cool.”
“You are so unbelievably strong,” Jaskier says from his spot thrown over Geralt’s shoulder, sounding a bit hysterical. “So, so strong. Do I weigh anything to you?”
With his hand that isn’t holding Jaskier in place, Geralt casts Aard to blast two guards rushing at them backwards. “Is now really the time for this, bard?”
“I think it’s always a good time to ogle handsome men who come to my rescue so valiantly.”
Geralt snorts and leaps off the scaffold onto Roach’s waiting back, dumping Jaskier across the saddle in front of him like a sack of potatoes. Roach doesn’t wait for his signal before she bolts, sending onlookers scattering as she gallops through the crowd. “I told you, bard, next time you ended up on the gallows for sticking your cock somewhere it shouldn’t, I was letting you die.”
“You lied to me.” Jaskier sounds far more smug than a man in his position should.
Geralt can’t argue with that. “The duke’s betrothed? Really?”
“She was quite pretty and she liked my music.”
“Is that all it takes?”
“Well, I am a sucker for a pretty face.” Jaskier cranes his neck to bat his eyelashes at Geralt.
“You’re a dipshit is what you are.” An arrow whistles by his head and Geralt twists around in the saddle to cast Igni at their pursuers.
“It won’t happen again?”
“Now who’s lying?” Geralt urges Roach to run faster. He doesn’t pull her to a stop until they’re well out of town and the sounds of shouting have faded behind them. Only then does he leap down from her back to untie Jaskier’s ankles and wrists.
“Ugh.” Jaskier slides off of Roach’s saddle. Geralt catches him around the waist to stop him from falling. “You finally let me ride Roach and you treat me like a sack of potatoes?”
“You alright?” Geralt pats him down to look for injuries.
“Well, my heart’s still beating.” Jaskier presses his hand to his chest. “That’s nice. Besides some bruises and scrapes, I’m fine. I’d say of all my imprisonments, that one was probably in my top ten. Maybe even my top five, since it ended with me being thrown over a handsome man’s shoulder.”
Geralt closes his eyes. He doesn’t know why he still keeps this peacock around. He especially doesn’t know why the thought of losing this peacock to a hangman’s noose scared him worse than anything has in a long time. “Just don’t let this happen again.”
“I’ll do my best, but I can make no promises.”
“Here’s a promise,” Geralt says. “Next time your fool decisions get you sentenced to death, I’m leaving you.”
“Sure you will.” Jaskier throws his arms around Geralt’s neck, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you for saving me, O Dashing White Wolf.”
Geralt can feel Jaskier’s heart beating against his chest. It almost makes up for the fact that he smells like a man who spent a week in a prison cell. “Any time, Jaskier.”
He doesn’t miss Jaskier’s triumphant little smile.
Tag list: @kueble @mollymawkwrites @feral-jaskier @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde @dawnofbards @thisislisa @tsukiwolf42 @mosaicscale @rockysstupidity @fontegagrilledcheese @kuripon @help-i-need-a-cool-username @julek @flowercrown-bard @eveljerome
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wren-of-the-woods · 2 years
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Geralt pulls over to help a man whose car has broken down and finds that he has accidentally rescued his daughter's favorite musician. A few days later, Ciri gets a wonderful birthday surprise.
Geraskier, 5k. Also on AO3!
Geralt was, as usual, thinking about Ciri.
There was not much else to do as he drove down the highway; the trip to pick his daughter up from her friend's house was long and dull. At the moment, Geralt had an excellent reason to think about Ciri even more than he usually did. Her birthday approaching at a terrifyingly fast pace. It was the first birthday she would have as Geralt's adopted daughter, and he desperately wanted it to be as happy as possible.
Ciri had already lost so much in her short almost-fourteen years of life. Geralt knew she loved him, but he couldn't help but feel that he was not doing enough for her. He did not know if he could ever be an adequate parent for a such bright and lively young girl. He knew, though, that he would do almost anything to make her happy. The realization thrilled him as much as it terrified him.
Ciri often spoke with fond longing of the extravagant birthday celebrations her grandmother had thrown for her, so Geralt wanted her to experience joy like that again. He had to figure out how to give her the best birthday he could.
Geralt thought the best way to achieve this would be to ask what his daughter wanted. Unfortunately, it seemed that his question had been far too open-ended.
“What do you want to do for your birthday?” he had asked.
“Can it be anything?” she said, eyes widening in that way Geralt could never resist.
“Anything.”
“I want to meet Dandelion!” she said with a grin. Geralt suppressed a groan.
Dandelion was her favorite musician. She listened to him constantly, while doing everything from reading to homework to drawing to staring out the window. She asked to play his songs nearly every time she was in the car with Geralt. Hardly a day went by without one of his songs getting stuck in Geralt’s head.
Geralt would go to the ends of the earth for his daughter, but he didn’t think any amount of dedication could get Ciri a private meeting with a quickly-rising pop star.
He tried his very best but had no luck. All of Dandelion’s concert cost so much more than Geralt could afford that it was ridiculous to even contemplate going, in addition to at least being several days’ drive away. Geralt went as far as finding Dandelion’s manager’s Twitter account in the hopes he could somehow ask for the singer to call her briefly, but nothing looked promising. None of Dandleion’s PR team seemed like they would respond to a message from a single father who couldn’t pay them. After a long evening’s research, he was forced to give up the idea.
So now Geralt was here, whiling away the long drive to pick Ciri up from her friend’s house by trying to think of anything he could do for her birthday that might live up to both her hopes and his ideals of parenthood. He was so distracted, in fact, that he nearly didn’t notice the man waving his arms on the side of the road.
The man was standing beside a car that was pulled over. His colorful, once-neat outfit was thoroughly disheveled, and he looked desperate as he shouted something Geralt couldn’t hear.
Geralt slowed, pulled over, and rolled down his window. “What’s wrong?”
“Thank you so much,” the man said the moment Geralt’s window opened. “Nobody else would stop for me. I just fought with my best friend and my phone is dead and my car broke down and I’m running late to an important appointment and I would really, really appreciate it if you could give me a lift? It can just be to the next town, or maybe until my phone is charged if you have something I can use?”
Geralt thought about refusing. It was probably unwise to let a total stranger into his car, and he was already almost late to pick Ciri up. On the other hand, the man looked so desperate and sad and earnest that it seemed cruel to even think about turning him away.
After so many months of raising a thirteen-year-old girl, Geralt should have been immune to the power of enormous, pleading eyes. He was not.
He opened his car door. “Get in.”
The stranger blinked. “Wait, really?”
Geralt huffed. “Do you want me to change my mind?”
“Please don’t!” The man darted back to his own car for a moment to grab a backpack and presumably dead phone from the passengers’ seat.
“Don’t worry,” said Geralt, somewhat amused at the way the colorful man nearly tripped over himself in his haste to get his things. He clambered in next to Geralt and pulled the door shut quickly, as though afraid Geralt might actually change his mind and throw him bodily out of the car.
“Thank you so, so much,” gushed Geralt’s new companion. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t stopped. This means the world.”
Geralt grunted. The praise made him feel strangely uncomfortable. “It’s fine.”
He pulled back onto the highway and continued driving.  
“What’s your name, by the way?” said his passenger. “It’s fine if you’d rather I didn’t know. I understand. I’m just curious about the man who completely saved my day, is all.”
Geralt frowned a little. The man’s voice sounded oddly familiar when he spoke like this. He was sure he’d never seen his face before, though, so Geralt put the thought out of his mind.
“Geralt,” he said after a moment, answering the question.
“Ah, perfect! A wonderfully heroic name for my wonderful hero.�� The man was grinning now, looking frankly too happy for someone who was recently stranded on the side of the road. “I’m Jaskier!”
Geralt grunted, unable to figure out how to respond, grunted. He didn’t think he’d ever received so many compliments per minute in his life.
“Where were you going?” he asked, trying to change the subject.
The man — Jaskier — replied with the name of a town. Geralt frowned. Taking Jaskier there would add half an hour to Geralt’s drive, but based on the state Jaskier had managed to end up in earlier, Geralt had a feeling he might somehow get himself killed on the way if Geralt simply left him at a bus station. He sighed. He didn’t particularly want murder on his conscience, nor did he want to worry about this strange man any more than he had to.
"I'll drop you off there," he said before he could change his mind.
Jaskier's grin widened. He looked genuinely delighted. "Oh my god, you really are a superhero in disguise, aren't you?"
"No,” said Geralt, feeling oddly defensive. “Just a decent human being."
"Tell that to all the people who drove right past me without stopping," said Jaskier. "I was there for nearly half an hour."
Geralt didn't know what to say to that. True to form, he therefore said nothing.
“I should call a tow truck for you,” he said after a moment.
“Oh, yes. That would probably be wise.”
Eventually, Geralt arranged everything so that Jaskier’s car would be repaired. He sighed in relief. The two of them sat in silence for a few moments before Jaskier cleared his throat and spoke up.
“So, what is a handsome fellow like you doing out here?”
Geralt held back a sigh. He hated small talk. He couldn’t bring himself to ignore Jaskier after the day he must have had, though, so he forced himself to answer the question.
"I'm going to pick up my daughter. She's at a friend's house."
“Oh god, you have a daughter? I was just thinking you couldn’t get any more perfect. It seems I was wrong. How old is she?”
Geralt was suddenly grateful that he was driving and had an excuse not to meet Jaskier’s eyes. Such enthusiastic praise made him feel wrong-footed.
“Almost fourteen,” he grunted, ignoring the rest of Jaskier’s words.
“Oh, a teenager! What fun. I hope she’s more well-behaved than I was at that age,” Jaskier said with a laugh.
“She’s much better than I was,” said Geralt. He couldn’t help but sound fond; Ciri was the brightest part of his life, after all. “I’m very lucky to have her.”
“I’m sure she thinks the same,” said Jaskier. “You seem like an excellent father.”
“Hmm. Thank you.” Geralt winced internally at his own awkwardness. Why did one person being nice to him throw him so off-balance?
Jaskier seemed to notice something of Geralt’s discomfort, because the car descended into slightly awkward, silence for the next several minutes. Geralt kept his eyes on the road, trying to recenter himself after this whole exchange.
Once again, Jaskier spoke first.
“You’re doing me a huge favor, you know,” he said earnestly. “Let me repay you for this.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“I insist.”
“No.”
“You just took hours out of your day to help some random stranger you found on the side of the road. The least I can do is give you something in return.”
“I don’t want your money. What else could you give me?”
“I’ll think of something.”
Silence fell again.  Jaskier leaned back against the headrest and closed his eyes with a small sigh. When Geralt glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, he looked so tired and worn all of a sudden that Geralt felt a little ache in his chest. He spoke before he had time to think it through.
“You fought with a friend?”
Jaskier’s eyes opened.
“Yeah,” he said, and Geralt discovered that he did not like hearing sadness in this man’s voice.
“Do you… want to talk about it?” Geralt held back a grimace at his own awkwardness.
Jaskier sighed again. For a moment, Geralt thought he was going to ignore the question, but Jaskier took a deep breath and started to speak.
“I thought we were good,” he murmured. “I thought we were close. I thought we would be friends forever. Then he stopped returning my calls unless I happened to try the exact right time, and before I knew it I hadn’t seen him in person for months. I know he’s busy with his own projects, but he could have at least tried to find time for me. I did it for him.” He huffed in frustration. “So I went to his place to try to talk to him, but he didn’t like me showing up with no warning even though he used to do that to me all the time. He yelled at me. Said some things I don’t know if I can forget.”
Geralt, once again, had no idea what to say. He hoped his silence did not feel insulting. Jaskier didn’t seem to mind.
“I hate this,” Jaskier continued. “I put so much effort into that relationship, and he blew me off like it was nothing. I was still trying to collaborate with him. I have projects that I need to figure out how to do without him now. I tried so hard and it didn’t work. I don’t know why. I don’t know what I did.”
Geralt was very out of his depth. He hummed, hoping it at least sounded sympathetic. Jaskier closed his eyes again.
“I feel so small, sometimes. Like nothing I do will ever matter. The world is big and cruel and I’m so insignificant. All I want to do is make someone happy. Is that too much to ask?” Jaskier’s voice was hardly more than a whisper by the end. Then he seemed to realize what he’d said and he blushed. “But you don’t want to hear a stranger ramble about all his problems. I’ll be quiet now. Better stay out of sight.” He chuckled humorlessly, turning to look out the window.
Something the way Jaskier said those last words snagged Geralt’s memory. Better stay out of sight. Geralt recognized the phrase.
He had heard Ciri hum it while she helped him wash the dishes. He’d heard her shouting it from her bedroom, singing so loud that Geralt could hear perfectly well from across the house. He’d heard it played in the car when Ciri asked to listen to her favorite band, sung by a strong voice full of feeling.
No wonder Jaskier sounded familiar.
“You’re Dandelion,” he said. “The singer.”
Jaskier drew in a surprised breath. “Yes, I am. That’s my stage name.”
“Oh, thank fuck,” said Geralt without thinking, caught off guard by the sudden swell of hope rising in his chest.
Jaskier blinked. “What?”
“I think I know a way you can repay me.”
“That was an ominously sudden change of opinion.”
“Come visit my daughter.”
Whatever Jaskeir had been about to say vanished abruptly. He looked at Geralt with wide eyes.
“She’s… a fan of yours,” said Geralt. “She asked to see you. For her birthday. But I can’t afford to take her to a show, so I told her it wouldn’t work. Didn’t think I’d end up rescuing you off the side of the road.”
“Oh! Really? That’s adorable! Of course I’ll come to visit your daughter! I’m always glad to meet a fan.” Jaskier sounded genuinely delighted.
A small smile spread unbidden across Geralt’s face. “Thank you. She’ll be thrilled.”
"Of course! When do you want to meet? I'll have to check my schedule and such but I'm sure I can make time for such a sweet request."
Geralt paused. He could, in theory, suggest bringing Jaskier with him to meet Ciri now, but Jaskier said he had somewhere important to be and Geralt didn't want to make him any later than he already was. Besides, waiting would give him time to warn Ciri ahead of time. That way, she would have time to plan what she wanted to say.
"How about next week?” Ciri’s birthday was in two weeks. Scheduling their meeting for a week before would give Geralt room to plan if anything went wrong.
“Next week is good!” said Jaskier, and that was that.
They arrived at Jaskier’s destination not long afterward, and Jaskier left after a quick exchange of contact information and a promise to text Geralt soon with scheduling details.
Geralt passed the remaining forty-five minutes of the drive feeling happier than he had in days.
~~~
“Really?” Ciri squealed. The volume and pitch that she managed to achieve was, quite frankly, a show of impressive vocal talent.
“Yeah,” said Geralt, grinning at her. “You get to meet Dandelion.”
“I can’t believe this. You found Dandelion on the side of the road? That’s insane!”
“It was very lucky.”
“That’s the understatement of the century.”
Ciri was grinning so hard that Geralt wondered if it was making her cheeks hurt. Her joy was the most beautiful thing he’d seen in months.
“I’m glad you’re excited,” he said genuinely. Ciri tackled him in a hug.
After some texting back and forth with Jaskier (it made Ciri incredibly excited to discover that Geralt had Jaskier’s contact information), the time was set for the coming Saturday. All that remained was to wait.
~~~
“Geralt! Hello!” said Jaskier as soon as Geralt opened the door. He looked almost nervous, rubbing his thumb against his fingers as he shifted his weight on Geralt’s doorstep.
“Come in,” said Geralt, stepping aside to let the musician enter the house. “Thank you again for doing this.”
“You’re more than welcome!” said Jaskier, looking around Geralt’s house curiously. Geralt did his best not to feel embarrassed. He and Ciri worked hard this morning to make the place look presentable (“It has to be perfect, Dad!”) but nothing they did could hide the fact that the place was small, the furniture was rather mismatched, and the shelves were cluttered in an attempt to fit all their belongings into what space there was.
“So, where is the lovely person I’ve come to meet?” asked Jaskier, shaking Geralt out of his thoughts.
“In her room,” said Geralt. “I’ll go get her.”
Geralt fetched Ciri, watched fondly as she jumped up and down a little in nervous excitement, and accompanied her back to their living room. Jaskier visibly perked up at the sight of her.
“Hello, darling!” he said, bounding forward and holding a hand out for her to shake. “You must be Cirilla.”
“Ciri,” she said shyly, taking the offered hand and shaking it.
“Ciri,” Jaskier repeated, looking for all the world like he was trying to commit it to memory. “It’s a beautiful name!”
Ciri’s small smile grew wider. “Thank you!”
“I’ll leave you two alone,” said Geralt with a small smile. He and Ciri had planned this out beforehand — Geralt would wait in the kitchen while they spoke, letting her and Jaskier have privacy while still being able to hear most of the conversation and come back if necessary. “Would anyone like tea or coffee?”
Jaskier declined, but Ciri requested tea, so Geralt went to prepare it.
For a moment, the other room was silent. Then Jaskier spoke up.
“So, I’m told you’ve heard my caterwauling?”
“I love your music. I listen to it all the time.”
“Thank you so much! I’m honored,” said Jaskier. Geralt could hear his grin even without being able to see his face.
“I wanted to thank you, actually,” said Ciri nervously. Geralt listened closer from the other room, prepared to intervene if necessary. Ciri had been wanting to say this to Jaskier ever since she learned she would get to meet him, and if something went wrong there was potential for an emotional disaster.
“Oh? What for?” said Jaskier.
Ciri took a deep breath. “So, um, my grandmother died a little over a year ago. She raised me. It’s been a rough year. Geralt adopted me, and he’s great! I love him, and he loves me, and I’m really glad I get to have him in my life but things have still been hard. I found your music about a month after my grandmother died and it’s helped me a lot. There’s so much life and hope to it, you know? Even when I was having a really bad day, I could listen to it and feel like maybe things might get better. There are so many bad things in the world, but there is also some good, and you helped me remember that. So. That’s why I wanted to meet you. To say thank you for everything.” She shifted awkwardly. “Um. Sorry if that was weird. You don’t know me and that might have been a lot to dump on a stranger.”
“Ciri, darling,” said Jaskier in a voice that sounded choked with emotion. “May I hug you?”
Geralt peeked into the room just in time to see Ciri nod and Jaskier envelop her in a crushing embrace. Ciri made a startled sound before hugging him back. She was hesitant at first, but her confidence grew quickly. Geralt smiled. Ciri gave good hugs.
“That was… possibly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” Jaskiersaid quietly without breaking the embrace. “I’m so glad I could make a difference in your life. I always hope I might, but I’m never sure I manage. It means the world for you to tell me that. Thank you.” He let out a shaky breath. “And I’m truly sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how you must feel.”
“Thank you,” said Ciri. “It’s… better, now. Time helps. Geralt helps, too.”
“I get the feeling that he’s a wonderful father,” said Jaskier with a smile.
“He really is,” said Ciri, her voice filled with what sounded like pride. Geralt was suddenly glad that no one could see him, because he was sure that whatever expression he was making was unbearably sappy.
Jaskier and Ciri moved on to talking about less serious matters, making jokes and small talk and discussing Jaskier’s music. Geralt delivered tea to Ciri and settled in the kitchen with a book, only half-listening to them now that the most emotionally difficult moments had passed.
After an hour, Jaskier reluctantly informed them that he had to leave. Ciri was disappointed, of course, but handled it gracefully. Geralt watched her say her goodbyes and walked Jaskier to the door.
“You must be proud to have such a wonderful daughter,” Jaskier said to Geralt as he stepped outside, turning back to smile at him.
Geralt smiled. “I am. Always.”
“Good. It was wonderful to meet her,” said Jaskier. “Would you tell her that? I said so earlier, but I’m not sure if she believed me.”
“I will,” said Geralt. He wondered if Jaskier knew that he was digging further into Geralt’s heart with every kindness he showed Ciri. “Thank you.”
“I’m the one who should be thanking you,” said Jaskier with a smile. “I had an excellent time.”
“I’m glad,” said Geralt. They stood in companionable silence for a moment.
“I should probably get going before someone starts calling me,” said Jaskier with a sigh. “Thank you again for inviting me over.”
“Thank you for coming,” Geralt said. “Ciri and I appreciate it.”
Jaskier grinned. “You’re very welcome, dear heart.”
Then, with a wave and a shouted farewell, he was gone.
~~~
Geralt thought that was the last he would see of Jaskier.
For the next several weeks, the only contact he had with Jaskier was through Ciri playing his music. Geralt found himself oddly disappointed by the idea of not seeing Jaskier again, but told himself to stop being ridiculous. The fact that he was funny and kind and genuinely good with Ciri didn’t necessarily mean they could have been friends, even if the up-and-coming pop star had decided to keep in touch with a single father of limited means and even more limited social skills.
His attempts at putting Jaskier out of his mind were not as successful as he would have liked. He hoped that if he ignored this, it would go away eventually.
Then, over a month later, Geralt woke up to a text from a very familiar number.
Jaskier: hi geralt! so i know this is kind of out of nowhere, but i wrote a thing that may or may not be inspired by you and ciri and i was wondering if the two of you could listen to it and tell me if you’re all right with me showing it to anyone else and maybe putting it out there for the public? Jaskier: it’s totally fine if not, of course. i can absolutely keep it between the three of us indefinitely. Jaskier: believe it or not, i am actually capable of shutting up about some things Jaskier: though i’m not giving you very good evidence of that with all this rambling Jaskier: i’m just gonna send the files now
The next two messages were audio files. Geralt fumbled for his earbuds and started the first track.
Thirty seconds into the song, Geralt already liked it. It was in Jaskier’s normal pop-adjacent style, upbeat and energetic, but the lyrics were more poetic than was usual. It was about unexpected kindness, he thought, and he could easily see the connection to their acquaintance despite the lack of direct reference. The idea of having played a part in inspiring someone to write a song — Ciri’s favorite musician, no less — made something startlingly warm blossom in his chest.
He paused the music, stood, and went to find Ciri. She would certainly want to hear this.
Many delighted exclamations later, Geralt and Ciri sat side by side in front of the speaker Geralt had plugged into his phone. Geralt went back to the beginning of the first song and let it play, this time watching the expression on Ciri’s face as she listened. Her glee was contagious, and Geralt found himself enjoying the song even more than the first time. The song continued in a similar vein to what Geralt had already heard, complete with a cheery chorus that was certainly going to get stuck in Geralt’s head.
“Oh my god,” Ciri squealed when the song was done. “He really wrote a song about you. Dandelion wrote a song about you!”
“It’s not about me,” Geralt protested. “It’s just indirectly inspired by something I did.”
Ciri ignored him. “Can we listen to the next one?”
Geralt wordlessly pulled up the next file and pressed play, smiling at the excited noise Ciri made.
Immediately, Geralt could tell this one was different. It started with strumming on a lone guitar, and Jaskier’s voice was tender and full of emotion when he started to sing. The lyrics, as far as Geralt could make out, told of grief. It was unclear who or what the singer had lost, but the sadness in Jaskier’s voice made whatever it was feel all too real. Ciri’s eyes widened in shock, and Geralt had a feeling that his own expression was similar. This was definitely not what he had expected.
The chorus of the song started, and suddenly Geralt could think of nothing but the music. Other instruments joined the guitar as the tone of the song shifted. Jaskier began to sing of hope.
He sang of starlight shining through clouds on dark nights, of flowers growing through cracks in concrete, of song staving off the silence of hopeless midnight. Jaskier’s voice was filled with emotion, with light and dark and fear and hope.
By the time the song was over, Ciri’s cheeks were stained with tears
“That was beautiful,” she whispered. Geralt couldn’t help but agree.
“He wrote a song for you,” Geralt said in disbelief. “After your conversation when he came over, he wrote a song for you.”
“Fuck,” said Ciri emphatically. Geralt couldn’t find it in himself to chastise her for the language.
Geralt was grateful that this had happened on a Saturday. He and Ciri might need all day to process.
~~~
Geralt did not respond to Jaskier until much later that day, after he and Ciri had time to discuss their thoughts on Jaskier’s question. It wasn’t until after dinner that night that Geralt finally felt ready. He settled in on the sofa with Ciri sitting next to him, gathered his courage, and sent a response before he had time to overthink it.
Geralt: They’re beautiful. Geralt: You made Ciri cry, but she says it was in a good way. Geralt: She also says I shouldn’t have said that, because now you might worry about having made her cry. Geralt: She says not to worry. Geralt: She says thank you. She loved them. Geralt: I liked them too. Thank you. Geralt: You can do what you want with them, as long as there’s no personal information shared about Ciri or me.
Jaskier responded within five minutes of Geralt’s last message.
Jaskier: i’d apologize for having made your daughter cry, but i get the feeling she wouldn’t appreciate that Jaskier: i hope she’s all right, though?
Geralt: She will be. It was just more emotional than we expected.
Jaskier: ah. mission accomplished, maybe?
Geralt: Yes.
Jaskier: thank you for your permission!! I’ll keep you up to date on what’s going on, of course. and yes, definitely no personal information will be shared! Jaskier: by the way, have i thanked you yet? i was having a terrible week plus songwriters’ block and you and ciri were absolute lifesavers. Jaskier: you made me remember why I started doing this in the first place.
Geralt: I’m glad. You made our week better, too. Thank you.
Jaskier: you’re very welcome!
Thinking the conversation over, Ciri grinned up at Geralt.
“That went well!” she said.
“Yes. Do you think you can get ready for bed now?” asked Geralt.
Ciri sighed. “Fine.”
She stood and left the room, and so, fortunately for Geralt, missed the ridiculous expression on his face when he glanced at his phone to see another message waiting for him from Jaskier.
Jaskier: oh, and before i chicken out, i have something i want to ask you
Geralt was undeniably curious.
Geralt: What is it?
Jaskier: do you want to meet for dinner sometime?
Geralt drew in a surprised breath. That was unexpected.
Geralt: To talk about the songs?
Jaskier: yeah
The three dots that indicated whether Jaskier was typing appeared, disappeared, then reappeared again. Geralt was about to stop waiting and come up with his own response when, finally, another message appeared.
Jaskier: and maybe more, if you want?
Geralt’s heart stuttered a little. He sent back a reply before he could second-guess himself, nerves afire.
Geralt: Like what?
Jaskier: whatever you want Jaskier: i’d like to get to know you better if that’s all right Jaskier: i know we haven’t talked for very long but i really like you Jaskier: and ciri. she’s an absolute darling, obviously Jaskier: and so are you Jaskier: obviously Jaskier: feel free to tell me to shut up. i ramble a lot.
Geralt looked at his phone with wide eyes. Was Jaskier — his daughter’s favorite musician, and possibly the kindest and happiest man of his recent acquaintance — really interested in talking to him again? It seemed too good to be true.
Geralt: I don’t mind.
Jaskier: oh, good. Jaskier: the rambling, or the dinner?
Geralt: Both. Geralt: Neither Geralt: I mean, you’re good.
Jaskier: great!! Jaskier: maybe sometime next week?
Geralt: Okay. Geralt: My place?
Geralt knew he would feel more confident on his home turf.
Geralt: You haven’t met my dog yet.
Jaskier: aslkdjfalsdfj YOU HAVE A DOG?? Jaskier: I MUST SEE THIS Jaskier: WHY DIDN’T I KNOW ABOUT THIS
Geralt: My brother was taking her for a walk last time you were over. We didn’t want her to get in the way.
Jaskier: YOU HAVE A BROTHER?!? Jaskier: that does it. i most certainly must visit and meet your dog. Jaskier: the brother is optional but embarrassing stories are more than welcome Jaskier: sound good?
Geralt chuckled quietly at his phone screen, somehow unable to stop smiling.
Geralt: Sounds good.
They settled on a time and date. Geralt felt warm. Their acquaintance was no longer so temporary — they were, perhaps, friends. Perhaps, if they were lucky, they could become even more.
The thought made Geralt frown a little. What did Jaskier want from this? Would it be worth asking for clarification? It would likely be best to clear up any potential misunderstandings now things went very far.
Geralt hummed nervously to himself before gathering his courage and sending his next question.
Geralt: By the way, is this a date?
For a moment, there was no response. The dots indicating that Jaskier was typing appeared and stayed there for a very, very long moment.
Jaskier: It can be whatever you want it to be.
Geralt stared at the message for a moment. Jaskier was using proper punctuation and capitalization, for once. It seemed he was serious.
Geralt: First dates don’t usually involve someone’s daughter
Jaskier: eh, “usually” is boring anyway Jaskier: Unless her presence would make you or her uncomfortable, of course
Geralt thought for a few moments, then made up his mind.
Geralt: I think it’s fine. She’ll be more than happy to see you again.
Jaskier: so… it’s a date?
Geralt: Yes.
Jaskier: excellent!! see you then! <3
Geralt stared at the little heart on the screen for a moment with a silly little smile on his face. He was going to see Jaskier again. Jaskier wanted to see him again.
Geralt found himself humming as he went to find Ciri and tell her the good news. After a few moments, he realized that he was humming one of Jaskier’s new songs. His smile widened.
Perhaps that Ciri would not be the only one getting a gift next week.
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d-andilion · 2 years
Note
GERASKIER FAKE DATING
sorry for yelling I'm excited
okay i took my time filling this one but i think the results are worth it - i hope you think so too 😊
~
Jaskier is, surprisingly, a very good boyfriend.
Though being around old school friends and distant relations must have tempted him to abandon his anti-social plus one, he’s hardly left Geralt’s side all day. He introduces Geralt to everyone who approaches them and takes the lead in every conversation to minimize how much Geralt has to talk to strangers. After every interaction, Jaskier leads them inconspicuously to the edge of the room for a welcome break from the buzz of the reception hall around them.
Of course, being a groomsman and brother to the bride means Jaskier has had to step away for round upon round of pictures, but he never goes far and he returns the second he’s able. The only point over the course of the entire wedding where Geralt has had to speak to someone by himself was just after the ceremony, and even then it was only Jaskier’s grandmother. 
She was a sweet, stout old woman who smelled of the boiled sweets she pulled from her handbag every so often and popped into her mouth. She ambled up to Geralt the moment Jaskier stepped away, taking his arm as if she belonged there.
“Diedre,” she said. “But you call me Nan, everyone does.”
Geralt could only nod, but she didn’t seem to mind or even really notice. She chattered to him about how handsome he was, how polite and well mannered, nothing at all like anyone Jaskier had brought home before. Apparently, her “little Buttercup” had a habit of falling for unsuitable folk. He was just too sweet, she reckoned.
Jaskier hustled over to rescue him the moment his sister set him free from post-ceremony photos, kissing Nan’s cheek and transferring her from Geralt’s arm to one of the many cousins milling around.
Before Jaskeir could steer her away, though, she patted Geralt’s lapel with her gloved hand and smiled at him. “Perfect for my Buttercup,” she said. Jaskier’s blush could have stopped traffic.
Geralt imagines he could have done worse for solo social interactions in this crowd. He didn’t actually have to say anything to Nan before Jaskier saved him, and no one else has tried to corner him since. It’s been a long, long day, but Geralt has had worse. The food is amazing, the champagne flows freely.
And Jaskier is there. He’s in Geralt’s space, holding his hand, kissing his cheek, fixing his tie, smiling at him like there’s nowhere else in the world he’d rather be. Jaskier is the perfect, gentle, kind, attentive boyfriend.
Geralt just wishes Jaskier were his boyfriend.
Everyone thinks he is, of course. That was the plan. Jaskier came to Geralt a week before the wedding with big puppy eyes telling him about the very serious relationship he’d been lying to his parents about for the past few months. If Jaskier came to his sister’s wedding alone, even if he feigned some excuse for his non-existent significant other, his parents would surely be onto him. It had, apparently, happened before.
Geralt would be the perfect stand-in, Jaskier reasoned. His parents already knew Geralt a little, so there would be no chance that they wouldn’t like him, and the two of them were already so comfortable around each other that a little extra PDA would be no big deal. It was only one day of Geralt’s life with gourmet food and free top-shelf booze. It would be easy.
Now, standing in the dimly lit reception hall while a sickly sweet love song plays over the speakers with Jaskier tucked into his side in a perfectly fitted tux, Geralt feels like the biggest fucking idiot on the planet.
Being in love with his best friend had never been easy. Most days, it felt like drowning. But Geralt would give anything for that feeling right now, because this, watching Jaskier pretend to be his, pretend to be in love with him—
This feels like being buried alive.
Jaskier is talking, his voice low and intimate like no one exists outside their little bubble, and Geralt doesn’t hear a word because they’re so close. 
So close that their noses could touch if Geralt tilted his head the slightest bit, and it’s impossible to focus on the words coming out of Jaskier’s mouth when Geralt can feel the oxygen running out around him.
So close that Geralt can’t really see Jaskier’s face, just the blue of his eyes, and Geralt can feel his lungs burning as he forgets to breathe, but if he had to pick a way to go, he’d want a view like this.
So close that it’s awkward for Geralt to keep his hands to himself, so he places his hand on the small of Jaskier’s back and it feels so fucking good to hold him like this that Geralt almost doesn’t care how much it’s going to hurt when he has to let go.
Maybe, Geralt thinks, if he doesn’t close his eyes, if he holds perfectly still, then they can stay like this forever. Maybe he can trap them in this moment, surrounded by tipsy Pankratzes while cheesy love songs play in the background.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
This was a terrible idea.
~
Geralt, predictably, is an amazing boyfriend. 
He’s shy around Jaskier’s family as expected, but he converses politely whenever required and everyone is charmed to death by his dry humor. On the few occasions that Jaskier has stepped away from Geralt’s side, all anyone can say to him is how wonderful his boyfriend is, how happy they are for him. He’s heard more than a few cheeky comments about the next Pankratz to walk down the aisle with winks in his direction.
Nan was the worst out of all of them.
Jaskier felt his gut drop when he saw her make a B-line for Geralt. He loved his grandmother more than anything, but fuck knows what that woman would say. The moment his sister was satisfied with the photos they’d taken, he moved as quickly as his trousers would allow him to Geralt’s rescue.
“Perfect for my Buttercup,” she said before Jaskier could stop her. Geralt’s pale skin turned bright pink.
“I told you to leave him be, you sneaky old bat,” Jaskier scolded once they were out of earshot. Nan just cackled. 
He passed her over to an unoccupied cousin quicker than he would have if he hadn’t had Geralt to get back to, but not before she could cup his cheek and smile gently at him.
“He’s the one, Buttercup,” she told him. “Don’t let him get away.”
It’s lucky, Jaskier thinks, that he’d always been a good actor. He had to keep up the pretense of having fun for the rest of the night and every time he thought about Nan’s words, he felt like he was a thousand feet below water and sinking deeper every second.
Jaskier knew Geralt was the one. He’d known it almost since the day they met. Ten years they’d known each other and Jaskier couldn’t look at anyone else no matter how hard he tried. Geralt is it for Jaskier.
He just wishes that he could be it for Geralt.
Everyone is fooled, just like Jaskier knew they would be. Being in love with Geralt was the easy part. He did it every day of his life. A few cheek kisses and prolonged hand holding are no great tasks in comparison. The hard part is knowing that the moment they leave the wedding, these soft touches will disappear like they’d never happened at all. 
Things have died down at the reception a bit, leaving them to stand peacefully at the edge of the room. Jaskier is talking about something unimportant, some family gossip he picked up from Nan at dinner. Not even particularly good gossip. He’s talking to talk because it feels like his chest will collapse in on itself if he stills for even a second.
They’re so close, he and Geralt. Close enough that Jaskier can barely see the soft grin on Geralt’s face, just the slightest upturn of lips. He’s looking at Jaskier like there’s nothing in the world he’d rather listen to than boring Pankratz family gossip. Like Jaskier hung the moon.
Jaskier never should have suggested this. He should have come to the wedding by himself and swallowed the lectures from his parents with one too many glasses of wine the way he usually does. It would have been more bearable than this, than watching Geralt pretend to be his boyfriend, pretend to love Jaskier the way he’s always loved Geralt—
This hurts more than his mother’s sharp words or his father’s disappointed sighs ever could.
Geralt rests his hand at the small of Jaskier’s back and Jaskier wants to scream but it’s all he can do to keep breathing in and out. What would happen, he wonders, if he told Geralt he loved him right now? Would Geralt leave? Would it ruin everything? Would it be worth it?
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck.
This was a terrible fucking idea.
~~
more fic from me
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Text
2023 Writing Round-up
I wrote 33 fics this year.
JANUARY
Dancing Around His Feelings (Witcher, M, 1.5k)
Jaskier visits the Countess da Stael to help him get over his heartbreak. Implied Geraskier. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.
One Special Night (Witcher, E, 1.5k)
Jaskier gives Elihal earrings for a night on the town. It leads to a special night of sex. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.
FEBRUARY
A New Life (Midnight Mass, T, 1.5k)
Priley. John plans to ask Riley to run away with him, but it turns out he was too late to ask.
A Kiss Like No Other (Loki, T, 666)
Lokius. Alt S1E6 ending. Loki and Mobius meet again and share a passionate kiss.
The Real Treasure (Witcher, M, 3.7k)
Geraskier. Modern AU. Family fluff mainly. Jaskier sends Geralt on a treasure hunt, but it’s really a ruse to spend time with his family. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.
MARCH
A Nice Afternoon (Witcher, E, 1.9k)
Geraskier. Modern AU. Smut. Jaskier and Geralt enjoy an afternoon performing a certain sex act. 69th Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.
APRIL
Sure, Big Boy (Stranger Things, T, 100)
Steddie. Steve is caught staring at Eddie.
Impatience (Stranger Things, M, 100)
Steddie. Eddie has Steve all tied up and waiting.
One On The Way (Loki, T, 3.8k)
Lokius. Canon divergence. Loki discovers he’s pregnant and doesn’t know how to tell Mobius. Gift fic.
Jaskier Sandwich (Witcher, E, 2.5k)
Geraskier/Lambden. Smut. Jaskier enjoys an afternoon sandwiched between Lambert and Aidan while Geralt watches. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.
The Temptation of Christ (Midnight Mass, E, 3.3k)
Priley. Smut. John celebrates Easter by stringing Riley up on a cross. For the Church of Priley Discord server's Easter event.
While The World Falls Apart (Loki, T, 1.3k)
Lokius. Pre S2. As Kang’s forces surround them with no hope of escape, Loki decides to kiss Mobius for the first time. Kiss prompt.
Lessons In Self Discovery (Witcher, M, 1.6k)
Geraskier/Lambden. Spanking. Geralt watches Aiden spank Jaskier and Lambert, and learns something about his own desires in the process. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.
The Tears Of A Trickster (Loki, M, 855)
Lokius. Pre S2. Mobius tries to hide his arousal at Loki crying in front of him, but the trickster knows all too well how to use it to his advantage. Flash Fic Friday Challenge.
His Summer (Witcher, G, 888)
Geraskier. Fluff. Geralt realises he doesn’t want the summer to end because it means time alone from Jaskier. Flash Fic Friday challenge.
Afterwards (Loki, T, 978)
Lokius. Angst. Loki spirals after getting together with Mobius. They run, but Mobius follows them and provides much-needed comfort. Flash Fic Friday Challenge.
Fighting To Get To You (Witcher, T, 2.6k)
Geraskefer. Geralt and Yennefer fight tooth and nail to rescue a kidnapped Jaskier. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.
MAY
All In A Day’s Work (Loki, M, 904)
Lokius. Smutty humour. HR manager Mobius is fed up with Loki being sent to see him every day for inappropriate comments, so he comes up with a creative solution. Flash Fic Friday Challenge.
The Start Of Something New (TLOU, M, 2.2k)
Bill x Frank. Smut. A deeper look at Bill and Frank’s first time together. Gift fic.
Watch It Burn (Loki, T, 3.4k)
Lokius. Hurt/comfort. Mobius doesn’t expect Loki to return after leaving him and Sylvie in the Void, but he does. Gift fic.
Keeping Hope Alive (Loki, T, 3.5k)
Mobius and Ravonna. Mobius is stuck on a mission going wrong when he bumps into Ravonna. They face the ruins of their friendship as well as the enemy. Gift fic.
Much Ado About Lokius (Loki, G, 1.9k)
Lokius. Humour. Loki and Mobius go on a mission involving a Shakespeare play, Loki in a dress and facing their inherent feelings for one another. Originally written for the Mischievous Scamp zine.
JUNE
Silky Heat (OFMD, E, 3.1k)
Stizzy. Omegaverse. Stede discovers Izzy’s secret and helps him through his heat (consensually). For Knot In My Name event.
A Barking Dog Seldom Bites (OFMD, E, 19.5k)
Stizzy/Steddyhands. Smut. Izzy finally loses the rag about Stede always touching him and it results in explosive sex. For the OFMD Reverse Big Bang.
SEPTEMBER
Drown Out All The Sound (Witcher, E, 2.7k)
Radskier. Smut/angst. Radovid has a special night planned for him and his lover, but heartache ensues in the end.
In Any Shape Or Form (Loki, E, 3k)
Lokius. Smut. Loki shifts form and now has a vagina. Mobius learns what to do with it. Gift fic.
What My Heart Just Yearns To Say (Witcher, G, 2k)
Geraskier. Geralt cares for Jaskier but can’t tell him how he feels until Jaskier forces the conversation. Kiss prompt.
OCTOBER
The Words I Could Not Say (Loki, T, 3.3k)
Lokius. MCD. Alt S2E1 ending. Loki fails to make it back to Mobius. (First chapter is sad, follow-up chapter in the works).
NOVEMBER
Let Time Pass (Loki, T, 1.6k)
Lokius. Post S2. Mobius tries to settle down after Loki frees the timeline from the loom. Years pass until one day, Loki appears.
Dream of Me (Loki, E, 2.8k)
Lokius. Post S2. Smut. Mobius thinks he’s dreaming of sleeping with Loki. Turns out he really is and he leaves behind a little something.
The Things You Do For Love (Loki, E, 2.8k)
Lokius. Smut. Set S1E4. Loki turns to desperate measures when they think Mobius no longer needs them.
DECEMBER
Need Your Discipline (Stranger Things, M, 15k)
Steddie. Spanking AU. Steve looks for discipline and finds it in the form of Eddie, but he also finds care and belonging. Prompt fill for Fandom Trumps Hate 2023.
Christmas Angel (Loki, G)
Lokius. Christmas family fluff, post S2. Loki is expecting his sixth child while also keeping the timelines alive and safe. Gift fic for All About Lokius discord server friend.
In My Arms (Stranger Things, T)
Steddie. College AU, enemies to lovers. Steve has nightmares and Eddie cuddles him to soothe them away. Prompt fill for Fandom Trumps Hate 2023.
Now I know why I wrote the most words in April because I was writing other fics at the same time as two big bang fics. Yikes.
Thanks for the tag @cha-melodius 💕
Tagging @underthebluerain @dancingwiththefae @rins-love-wins @mimisempai @pherryt @gleamingsilence @artaxlivs @definitely-not-iorveth @ialwayscomewhenyoucall @rauchendesgnu @flawney @buckybeardreams if you wanna do it.
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thedemonofcat · 1 year
Text
(Essentially, that scene from Avatar the Last Airbender when Azula taunts Sokka by revealing that Suki was captured. My intention is to write a Geraskier version of that, but I had yet to figure out what a full story would entail)
"He called your name," Rience spoke calmly in a manner which seemed creepy and yet unnerving.
Geralt stood still, his body tense and ready to move. He knew this was his opportunity to escape, and he had to act quickly. His mind raced as he considered the danger of staying any longer. Ciri and Yennefer were with him, and he had to ensure they were safe.
Despite the urgency of the situation, something within him held him back. It was a voice that spoke to him, telling him to stay and listen to the firefucker's words. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was something important that he needed to hear.
Geralt's heart raced as he tried to identify the Niflgaardian prisoner to whom Rience was referring. "My favourite prisoner used to mention you all the time," Rience had said, his words seeping into Geralt's mind like poison. Who could it be? The thought of someone being locked up and talking about him made him uneasy.
Rience's words hit Geralt like a sudden blow. He felt as though the air was being sucked out of his lungs. "The Bard was conceived. You were going to come to rescue him," Rience revealed, his voice laced with a hint of malice. Geralt's heart sank as he tried to understand what he had just heard. "Of course, you never came, and he gave up on you."
Jaskier was in the hands of Nifflgaard.
They had his Bard.
There was something wrong with this. Jaskier was supposed to be in a safe place. This war is supposed to be far away, so he must hide somewhere far away. Geralt shouldn't have to worry about any kind of danger from Jaskier as he shouldn't be a danger at all.
Who said witchers don't have feelings. They would have to rethink their thought process if they saw the rage in Gearlt as he charged toward Riences, with Yennefer able to use his magic to hold the other mage in place.
"Where is Jaskier" Geralt demand to know, only to be meant with silence. "Where's Jaskier? Answer me"
Geralt's fury was so intense that he was confident he could crush Rience's head with only his bare hands if he wanted to. If he didn't get told where Jaskier was right in that second. It wasn't until he felt a hand on his shoulder that he could figure out what was happening.
"Geralt, he won't talk," Yennefer tried to reason with Geralt. Getting Ciri out of here now was the most important thing they had to do, and they could always begin their search for the Bard once they all got to a safe place.
But Geralt needed help with thinking straight. "Where are you keeping him" The witcher yelled.
"We need to go now," Yennefer said, "We'll find Jaskier later." As she spoke those words, Geralt could hear the rumbling of horses as more Nifflgaardian soldiers got closers.
"Geralt" This time, Ciri was the one to speak up. She had remembered hearing stories about the white wolf and his Bards and had even heard off a few of Jaskier's songs.
Hearing his daughter's voice, Geralt knew it was best to leave and get to safety. But, unfortunately, it was highly unlikely that Geralt could rescue Jaskier if he were in jail or dead.
So Yennefer got on her horse while Geralt and Ciri got on to Roach. The three roads off with Geralt already trying to devise plans to rescue his Bard.
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Text
Misattribution of Arousal Theory
me?? writing a fic based on something i learned in class????? never
jk its a tradition at this point. welcome to the circus
Pairing: geraskier
CW: dislocated ankles, inaccurate medical procedure/info (idk if this is how it works but i liked the vibes), Jaskier needing a rescue, the meet cute of my dreams, if i missed something hmu
_____________________________
The pop of Jaskier’s ankle dislocating almost echoed through his body. He knew that wasn’t how sound worked, and bones weren’t that kind of hollow, but the immediate signals of “oh fuck” that shot through his body seemed to amplify the sound in a way that made his stomach churn. 
He laid there on the forest floor for what felt like hours, metaphorically kicking himself for focusing more on where his phone was pointing than where his feet were going. At least that deeply ingrained need to be near his phone kept him from flinging it too far away from him as he fell. The rescue team the firefighters said they’d send in their place would be there soon at the very least. Not that he was thrilled for anyone to see him in that condition or prepared to look another adult in the eye and tell them how he’d done this to himself. 
Just as he was starting to think no one would ever show and he would have to drag himself back to his car and drive himself to the hospital on the busted ankle, he heard a distant rumbling shout. Propping himself up on his elbows, he could just barely see a bright reflective jacket through the underbrush surrounding the trail. The voice shouted again, this time close enough for Jaskier to understand his name.
Relief flooded his body and he let loose an unhinged cackle before summoning everything he had to yell, “Over here!”
Jaskier could only see the vague outline of a man through the massive ferns and maple saplings, so he wasn’t at all prepared for the Adonis that emerged from around the bend, looking down on him like a gift from a god with a sick sense of humor. He was probably Jaskier’s height, definitely wider and more muscular, something very obvious from how his black under-armor shirt clung to his pecks and biceps. The reflective jacket tied around his waist only emphasized how this man was superhero-shaped and momentarily distracted Jaskier from the most gorgeous stark white curly hair he’d ever seen. 
It was only after staring at the man’s ruggedly gorgeous face for a few seconds too long that Jaskier realized his mouth was hanging open and he had been slowly inhaling for about ten whole seconds. 
The man graciously pretended not to notice as he picked his way down the slightly washed-out and rocky path and introduced himself, “You’d better not go into shock now that someone’s here. I still need cooperation. I’m Geralt, by the way.”
Jaskier’s mouth immediately snapped shut, and he shoved himself into a seated position, wincing when his leg shifted with the movement, “No shock, still very much in pain.”
Geralt flashed him a disarming grin as he crouched down next to where he sat on the muddy ground, “Yeah? Good. Neither of us wants to wait for a stretcher. How are you with pain tolerance?”
Swallowing hard and attempting not to let the fear show on his face, Jaskier spoke as he watched Geralt slowly and gently unlaced the high-top boots he was wearing, “Uhm… depends on what it is? I got my elbow ditch tattooed, if that gives you a hint?” His voice creeping up at least an octave as Geralt removed his boot had him absolutely mortified.
Handing him the boot Geralt shifted to sit on the trail closer to Jaskier’s foot, “And how’d you deal with that? What made it easier?”
“Talking,” Jaskier blurted, starting to feel his adrenaline pick up as his eyes focused on his foot pointing in the very wrong direction for the first time since he fell. He hadn’t needed to see it to know something was severely wrong, but he didn’t know just how wrong until he registered his kneecap pointing skyward and his toes pointing toward Geralt, “I- uh. I think I just babled like stream- stream of consciousness- poor artists probably thought I was a lunatic. I got a little yelly too- Like now. Help- helped me breathe, though. And the whole vocal folds connecting to fascia and all that.”
Geralt nodded and smoothed his hand over his hair to push his flyaways out of his face, “What are you thinking about, then?”
After a moment of panicked realization he was in for yet more pain, Jaskier answered a little too honestly, “Misattribution of Arousal Theory.”
To his absolute horror, Geralt paused and raised an eyebrow before asking him what that was. 
“Its this idea- oh shit OW.” Jaskier let slip a bit of outrage on the ‘ow’, partially at himself and partially because he couldn’t believe this beautiful man had to meet him like this. 
“Its the idea…” Geralt prompted, waving Jaskier along as he picked up his heel. 
Searing pain shot up his leg, but Jaskier bared his teeth and pushed through it anyway, if only because the pretty man wanted to hear him talk, “The idea that people can mistake heightened levels of endorphins, aka arousal, for stronger EMOTIONS AND ATTRACTION- FUCK!!”
Almost before he’d screamed about it, his ankle was back in place and the pain dissipated. It was still definitely there, but he could unclench his ass and take a deep, if shaky, breath. 
“Stronger attraction, huh?” Geralt asked, sitting so he could rest his arm on his knee and giving Jaskier a smirk halfway between teasing and seductive. 
“I- I mean it works both ways,” Jaskier panted, leaning back hard on his hands and glancing back and forth between Geralt and his foot now pointing the correct direction, “Can increase disgust and rage too…”
Nodding with an expression that told Jaskier he wasn’t hiding his embarrassment nearly well enough, Geralt rifled through the pack Jaskier had failed to notice when he’d arrived and produced a water bottle, “Whatever you say, college boy.” 
Scoffing before he drained half the crinkly plastic bottle, Jaskier leaned into the joke, “I’m an expert, I promise.”
Geralt laughed as he stood up and Jaskier couldn’t help but be a little captivated when the afternoon sunlight gave him a golden halo. Offering his hand, Geralt seemed to be unable to keep the chuckle out of his voice, “When you write this into a paper, can I get a cool nickname? Maybe The Hero or Knight? Or does my name even need changing?”
Taking his hand and letting Geralt help haul him to his feet, Jaskier squeaked, “Oh, I'm far too embarrassed to write this into a paper. Your identity’s safe with me,” right before attempting to put weight on his ankle and collapsing into Geralt’s arms. Jaskier cursed his adrenaline for making his good leg weak as Geralt wrapped his arms around his torso, keeping him far closer than he needed to while supporting his weight. 
“I think I need to carry you out of here,” Geralt’s lowered, nearly whispered words held far more than professionalism would allow.
Jaskier made the mistake of looking up into his eyes and completely losing his breath. Misattribution errors or not, he didn’t really care; this man was gorgeous and cradling him oh so gently and looking at him with what he could only call a pleading bid for actual interest. 
“I think so, too,” Jaskier whispered. 
The piggy back ride to the trailhead wasn’t exactly glamorous, but Geralt made sure to make up for it later when he carried Jaskier back down the aisle at their wedding.
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luteandsword · 1 year
Text
Come to me, in the night hours; I will wait for you.
Pairing: Geraskier. 
Warnings: no real warnings!!  jealousy (which I do not condone),Jaskier is a pouty baby. 
Word count: 1.6k
Geralt had been invited to the Baron’s dance, this Jaskier knew. But he also knew, that amidst the shimmering curtains of the summer night, Geralt had vanished from his side. Now he was across the room talking to some bird. 
Bird, Jaskier noted with some finality, due to the feathers on her dress. At least he wasn’t dressed like a bird. Just stuck into an uncomfortable outfit that he hadn’t wanted to wear.
Unfortunately, Geralt looked completely at ease speaking to the woman, therefore Jaskier couldn’t jump in and rescue him.
Jaskier looked into the dregs of his goblet, and tossed back the mulled wine. He kept an eye on the Witcher as he meandered from woman to woman, led on by the Baron. 
An exceptionally wealthy man, to be sure, but it wasn’t as if Geralt had killed every single monster in his territory! Jaskier poured wine into his goblet, refreshing himself, and retreated back into the corner. 
He was struck by how their roles had been reversed-- once, Geralt had sat in the corner, and social butterfly, bard to the core, Jaskier had found him. 
It stung to think about-- how they had barely known each other, but had been drawn to each other. 
Geralt wasn’t his-- never could be wholly his, ever, because Jaskier didn’t want to treat the dear Witcher as if he were his property-- but it still hurt, for Geralt to be so far from him. 
They had shared the Path, shared bread and wine, shared a bed once or twice-- it wasn’t normal for Geralt to be speaking to others, especially at parties such as this one.
Jaskier sighed, dejectedly, and swept through the curtains, into the night air, and onto the balcony. 
He interrupted two lovers kissing-- both not much more than youths-- and they shrieked and giggled, pushing past him back into the fray. Jaskier raised his cup to them. 
“To young love, hopeless as it might be,” he sighed, looking out over the acreage and the forest, the moon cold and silent as ever in the night sky.
Cold and silent; that was all Jaskier needed to think about. It reminded him too much of one Witcher, one he was trying too hard to forget.
“Any advice, dear lady? Should I go in and sing a bawdy song, and steal him away? Or serenade him on the dance floor?” Jaskier asked the moon, chuckling to himself. “Ah, it’s ridiculous. It’s useless.”
The flap of the curtains in the night breeze, the cicadas, the soft music in the background; Jaskier shut his eyes and tried to drift away on them. 
Soft footfalls made his eyes open. 
“The parties over there,” he said, jerking his head backwards, and sloppily sipping from his glass. “I’m afraid that this bard is unable to perform.”
“No one asked you to,” Geralt muttered, stepping to Jaskier’s side. 
Close-- a bit too close. Jaskier shifted away, just a bit. 
“Why aren’t you in there?” Jaskier said. He knew he sounded bitter-- and fuck, he was. Truly bitter. Truly sad, that Geralt wasn’t looking at him. 
“I saw you come outside, and wanted to make sure you were all right.” 
“Right.” Jaskier chuckled. “Well, as you can see, I’m fine. So be off with you, and let the Baron lead you to yet another woman who wants to bed a Witcher.”
A strong hand grasped his forearm, and pulled, so he was turned towards the Witcher. The liquid in the goblet sloshed dangerously, and Jaskier looked brazenly into the impassive face of Geralt of Rivia.
“What? Am I not right?” Jaskier yanked his arm out of the grip, and turned away. 
“You’re wrong,” Geralt said, from behind him, his hands coming up to grasp Jaskier’s shoulders. 
Jaskier shook out of the touch, stepping further away. “Why can’t you just leave me alone, Geralt? I’m not in the mood to see everyone throw themselves at you!”
Geralt stepped in front of him, his broad body making Jaskier pause. 
“Well, am I to be here all night or may I leave to fill my glass?” 
“You’ve had enough,” Geralt replied, plucking the goblet from his hand, and putting it behind him on the lip of the railing. “Jaskier, do you truly believe that any of these women could entice me?”
“I don’t see why not,” Jaskier huffed, aware that he was pouting. 
War torn hands, hands that had seen battle-- they guided him, pressed his body against the railing, and Geralt loomed over him, between him and the party. 
"Jaskier, look at me, and tell me what you see.” Geralt said-- was Jaskier imagining it, or was his voice softer than normal?
“I see a Witcher waiting to woo someone else,” Jaskier muttered. “May I go now?”
“You’re not looking at me,” Geralt pleaded-- yes, he was being gentle tonight. 
Jaskier let his eyes flicker over Geralt-- stiff in the uncomfortable clothes, his hair loose round his shoulders, his eyes staring down at Jaskier.
“I see Geralt of Rivia, and my close friend,” Jaskier hung his head, suddenly ashamed. “I’m sorry, for what I said, Geralt. It was... uncouth, and cruel.”
“Never mind that, Jaskier. I understand why you said it.” 
“You do?” Jaskier stared up at the one he loved. 
Calloused hands slipped under his chin, and around to the sides, and then Geralt was cradling his face, cupping it as if Jaskier were water for him to drink. 
“Jaskier. I will tell you as many times as you need to hear it, on the Path, in Lettenhove, in Kaer Morhen, and now and here. But I need you to tell me you want to hear me say it.” 
Jaskier fought back the desperate ‘yes’ that threatened to escape his lips, and nodded. 
“Verbally,” Geralt growled, and Jaskier groaned. 
“Fine, fine, say it,” he said, feigning disinterest.
“You. You are the one I love, Jaskier.” Geralt said quietly, tenderly, too intimately for them being in a public space. 
“Again.” Jaskier begged, his resolve crumpling under Geralt’s soft stroking of his cheek, the cradling of his face when Jaskier turned his face into his palm. 
“You are the one I love.” Geralt repeated, and Jaskier let himself go, wrapping his arms around the Witcher’s waist, his face into his hair...
His heart into his hands. 
“And I love you, my Witcher.”
fin.
Taglist: @howdoistormspirit @tellhound 
My askbox is open and I accept prompts!
Title is from the song I listened to While Writing.
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jaskierswolf · 1 year
Note
It is not Jaskier dragging new pets home, despite popular belief. The white haired boyfriend, however, might have a bit of a hero complex.... (hehehe)
The Menagerie
Ship: Geraskier Rating: T Summary: In which Geralt adopts far too many animals, but Jaskier still loves him.
On AO3 _
Normally when new people met Geralt and Jaskier they made assumptions. Geralt liked to brood, well, no... more actually he was just painfully shy with low self-esteem despite looking like a god. Unfortunately, he also had possibly the worst case of resting bitch face that Jaskier had ever seen, and had never quite grown out of his goth stage. In contrast, Jaskier's emo phase had lasted all but a month back when he was fifteen and he'd quickly swapped the black hair and leather wristbands for floral shirts and as many rings as he could possibly fit on his fingers. He had, however, kept the eyeliner. It looked good on him. These days he just preferred a slightly lighter look instead of the thick black rings around his eyes. 
The point was when people entered their house and were greeted by no less than three dogs bounding into their laps, swiftly followed by a cat on their lap as soon as they sat down, they assumed that Jaskier was the cause. 
In reality, Jaskier was a little hopeless with living things. He could barely keep himself alive, and he'd never managed to look after even the simplest of plants.... let alone a whole menagerie of pets. Jaskier's forte... pun intended... was music. Where Geralt collected animals, Jaskier collected instruments. Between the two of them, their house was a mess and savings were none existent. All of Jaskier's royalties went on their hoards. 
It made for an interesting interview around his house. The door had opened, revealing the camera man as Jaskier had known it would, and the questions began. The interviewer was baffled. Due to Jaskier's success, he was sure that expectations of their house would be very different. Clean for one. And probably minimalistic, only filled with his awards and fine art beyond the bare essentials. What they had found instead was a mess of fur, cat litter and sheet music. It looked not unlike student accommodation from Oxenfurt, only much larger and way more pets. 
Jaskier couldn't complain. It was home.
Actually, no. Scrap that. He could absolutely fucking complain. 
His shoe landed in a pile of cat sick and he hopped from the living room straight into a pile of litter that had been kicked from the tray. 
"Geralt!!" He yelled up the stairs to where his husband was no doubt lurking in the office. "One of the cats has been sick!" 
"Clean it up then!" Geralt called back. 
Urgh. Yes. Definitely complaining.
It didn't take long to deal with the sick, but Jaskier ended up in a bit of a cleaning spree. After the mess was dealt with, he remembered the litter, and whilst cleaning up the litter he noticed just how much dog hair was lying around and sticking to his socks. Then the vacuum bag needed emptying and the bins had to be taken out, and three hours later, Jaskier collapsed on the sofa. 
The living room was looking spotless, or as spotless as it could be with a veritable zoo living under their roof. He was just about to pull out his laptop to check his social media, when Pegasus, the fat white fluff ball that Geralt had rescued last summer, flopped onto his lap, meowing loudly. 
Jaskier sighed. "I suppose you want feeding. You know you're on a diet, yes? The vet was very firm about that." In response, Pegasus just meowed again, widening his big blue eyes. 
Urgh. Jaskier hated animals. They were so needy. 
"Fine," he grumbled. "Come on then, shit legs."
The fluff ball was pulled into his arms and Jaskier trudged into the kitchen. Before he could blink, he was surrounded by dogs and cats... even Lark the Cockatoo had landed on his shoulder. 
"Oh for mother of-" he groaned, staring up at the ceiling as if that might help. "GERALT!!"
"Yes, dear?" His husband said from the doorway. Roach, a great mutt of a dog, was by his side, wagging her tail happily as Geralt scratched behind her ears. 
"Help?" Jaskier whined, pouting at his husband. 
Chuckling, Geralt crossed the room and pulled Pegasus from Jaskier's arms. He pressed a kiss to Jaskier's temple and then shooed him from the room. "I've got this. Go sit down."  He paused. "Thanks for tidying up." 
"No problem, my love," Jaskier replied, relieved that his pet sitting duties were over for now. He winked at his husband and blew a kiss. "Join me once you're done with the hoard?"
But Geralt wasn't listening. He was too busy cooing over the animals, already telling them stories from the actual zoo where he worked part-time. There was a big smile on his face and Jaskier melted. That was, after all, the whole reason they had so many pets. It was worth it just to see Geralt smile like that. Like there wasn't a care in the world. When they'd married, Jaskier had vowed to do anything to make his husband happy, and if it took running a rescue centre for neglected and forgotten animals to do that... then so be it.
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carrottheluvmachine · 5 months
Text
2023 writing round up
I was tagged by the lovely @bambirex who is a brilliant writer and a darling friend. Please check her out if you can!
This year I've written more than I ever have before. I have 12 fics in total and most of them were only made possible thanks to the help of my friends at the Witcher Chub Club. I'm ridiculously proud of all of them and of myself.
March
A Perfect Fit (geraskier, E, 2.9k) Jaskier has gained a substantial amount of weight lately. So why did Geralt find clothes that are clearly several sizes too small in his pack?
May
How To Serve Mankind (geraskier, E, 7.8k) Geralt and Jaskier part ways for the winter and Jaskier finds himself captured by a pair of trolls who intend on feeding him up so that they could eat him. In captivity, Jaskier loses hope and himself. Will Geralt be able to save him? Can he escape? And even if he does will he be able to come to terms with the major changes in his body?
June
A Bard's Glamour (geraskier, M, 5.3k) When Jaskier was young, he was given a special ring that hid his real self behind a perfectly slim image, one that would be more successful in society. Over the years he learned to depend on this fake image because facing reality was simply too difficult. It was much easier to pretend to be skinny rather than getting the world to accept the fat bard that he actually was.
July
Growing For You (geraskier, M, 3.6k) Geralt likes Jaskier soft, he said so himself. Jaskier loses weight over a winter they spend apart and worries what Geralt will think once they're reunited in the spring again.
Somewhere Beyond the Sea (geraskier, E, 7.3k) As a newly retired Witcher, Geralt is living by the coast when he discovers a seal under attack by a drowner. He rescues it and bonds with it and may be getting in a little over his head when he discovers that it’s much more than just an ordinary seal.
September
This Little Piggy (geraskier, E, 5.6k) Jaskier tags along with Geralt on a contract to kill a witch who lives on a suspicious pig farm but things aren't quite what they seem. Perhaps they should have realized sooner that the pigs roaming the land had previously been men.
Just A Couple of Pounds (geraskier, T, 3.1k) Jaskier responded by reaching up and pulling Geralt down close enough to crush their lips together in a searing kiss. He had been waiting for this moment for far too long. He couldn’t believe it was actually happening and all because he had eaten a bit too much at a banquet.
Life's Little Pleasures (geraskier, E, 4.9k) “Geralt of Rivia,” Jaskier scolded, raising his head and glaring purposely at the Witcher. “You are going to let me shower your cute little belly with kisses and you are going to like it!”
“Jaskier–”
“I could leave,” Jaskier threatened. “I could put my clothes on and waltz right out of here. Could just leave you hard and alone, wanking into your hand for the night. But I suspect you don’t want that, now do you? Hmm, Geralt?”
Geralt paused for a beat before shaking his head.
October
Bring Your Hunger (geraskier, E, 14.4k) Nilfgaard needs Jaskier alive to tell them where Geralt and the princess are, but only barely. The witcher’s bard subsists on stale bread and water over the winter, protecting his family with his silence, and as his hunger grows his body shrinks away.
When Geralt finally rescues his beloved bard, he’s horrified to find mere skin and bone. Together they recover.
November
A Heart Is a Heavy Burden (geraskier, M, 8.2k) Yennefer laughed, carding her fingers through his hair. “Oh? So you weren’t the one who had wished that the bard wouldn’t be able to follow you anymore so you could get some peace? That wasn’t you?”
It was him. He had wished that. He had yelled that right before Jaskier had made his wish to not be hungry anymore. The djinn had taken his words, twisted them, and made it so it was physically impossible for Jaskier to follow him across the Continent anymore by making him so heavy that he was nearly immobile.
The bottom fell out of Geralt’s stomach and he felt like he might throw up. He had caused this. It was his fault.
Four Years (geraskier, E, 4.8k) Jaskier and Geralt both think the other dead after they get separated during an ambush by the Nilfgaardian army. Jaskier manages to escape and returns to teaching at Oxenfurt while Geralt continues to keep Ciri safe. Four years pass and everything changes and yet remains exactly the same when they're reunited.
December
From Bard to Bait (geraskier, E, 7.8k) When Jaskier arrives in a town famous for their food festivals and finds Geralt stuffing his face, he isn't shy to question why the Witcher has such an impressive appetite suddenly. Geralt explains that a lik'ichiri has been feeding off the towns people, plucking the fattest one it can find and eating them. In order to save the town, Geralt is determined to make himself bait for the monster, but his Witcher metabolism just won't cut it.
Jaskier steps up to the task after a little help from Yennefer who makes it so his body will gain more weight more quickly. He and Geralt have a week to help him gain 200 pounds so he could be the perfect bait for the lik'ichiri. The thing is, Jaskier didn't expect to enjoy it as much as he does. He didn't expect Geralt to either.
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