#genuinely its relieving
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Glad he finally decided to stop brutally beating that beloved dead horse
#jokes but like#genuinely its relieving#pftw was fine and that tour was my first concert so its got a special place in my heart#but panic has been dead arguably since spencer left and decidedly since dallon left#and even if i didnt dislike the last two albums (vlv erasure!!!! for my health) they were not panic and ive been saying for ages#that brendon needed to give it up and just go solo#not that i think he'll have much success solo NOW but in the past i think he could have done it#hes only hurt himself by clinging to the name because back in 2014 people still liked him and would have been supportive of solo work#but i think thats a lot less likely now#anyways i want ryan ross to say something. anything. it doesn't even have to be shady i just miss him#patd#panic! at the disco#p!atd#panic at the disco#not yr
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one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible
like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that
#zedaph#hermitcraft#genuinely i adore the clucky few project im not even done watching the episode and i had to pause and make this post#i saw impulses video first and went ''that HAS to be some sort of datapack or something-''#only to immediately go ''no. no it cant be. because this is zed#and its practically a trademark of his to push the limits of the game as far as possible in the direction least expected#not for the purpose of efficiency or spectacle or intimidation or whatever like some players who push limits#but purely for the purpose of making something so funny you cant help but laugh at whats going on#and maybe being a bit impressed that he ever thought of it in the first place''#at which point i went ''holy shit. since its zed doing this. somehow he ACTUALLY got a villager on a chicken. with no cheats. thats INSANE'#i was relieved when i checked my subscriptions to see what the next video i had to watch was and saw he would be next in line#bc if i had to sit through 19 other hermits videos before i could watch his and find out what the fuck he was doing i would have been so sa#sidenote but i feel like a zed video where he interacts with this many other people all in the same video is so rare#idk i didnt watch season 9 and i know he started collabing a lot more w/ other hermits then#so maybe its not nearly as rare these days#but like the last one that *i* saw where he interacted with this many people at once was towards the end of season 8#when all the people he experimented on earlier in the season came back to experiment on him#and like i would like zeds videos with or without the collabs. but its a lot of fun to see him interact with people#so its very cool to me when he does it with a lot of people all in the same video
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wei wuxian really put his whole pussy into the donghua yiling patriarch reveal huh
#the huge flock of crows and the green fire and the dark aura and the resentment spikes(??)#[megamind voice] PRESENTATION!!!!!!#not art#mdzs#currently looking for backgrounds for the mdzs aa au. involves rewatching parts of the animation and WOAH#sorry he killed and maimed and cannibalized and tortured all those people :/ he looked sexy doing it#the gender stored in the yiling laozu cannot be understated. GOD i wish i could cosplay him#i wish. they couldve put in the wwx/jc reunion in s1e15 :(#jiang cheng my (indecipherable noises)#hes so relieved and happy!!!!!! the reunion scene URGHRGRHRG. genuinely torturing wen chao IS a bonding moment#adn it speaks to the whole horrors of war thing.. when you have nothing left to bond over (because yunmeng burned) you bond over violence#and the fact that it is in THIS scene that its very emphasized how close they are/how much they trust each other/how they grew up together#. ouhhghhhh.#wwx is quipping at him about being a sect leader and jc is complaining about how long he was gone. they are so incredibly severely#traumabonded guys. ugh. also honorable mention to the cql after-lotus-pier-burning scene for being fucking heartbreaking. love you mwah#mdzs spoilers#at this point in time lan “cannot talk about his emotions” wangji and jiang “bitches and complains as affection” cheng and wei “arrogance#and self destructiveness" wuxian are not communicating very well. shocker#to delete l8er
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as i am currently on that transmasc bloodcycle bullshit, it occurs to me i have a trans blorbo i can in fact make suffer with me
and while im projecting, why not give leo my habit of announcing his predicament in the funniest way possible
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise leo#rise donnie#my art#this is my go to way of saying im on my cycle#my siblings are entirely unimpressed and used to it#leos family is too#but between the immense injuries he got during the invasion and everyone being kinda emotionally fragile for a bit#i think he probably skipped a couple months and wasnt in the mood to play into his usual antics when it did return#but this is long enough after it all that everyones mostly healed up#and emotionally starting to recover#and leos the sort of bitch that the louder he is the less serious the drama is#(affectionate)#so if he walks in a room and shouts that hes bleeding#its more likely hes got a papercut than any actual injury#don knows this#hense why he catches on so quick#and seeks vengance for the half-a-second of genuine concern#(tbh hes probably internally relieved to hear leo make any type of joke or dramatics again at all)#also#i dont have any personal interest in diving in depth to what a mutant turtle teenagers period looks like or involves#my boy bleeds and is uncomfy cos i am bleeding and uncomfy#(tbh in all likelihood hed not have to deal w this at all cos splints and donnie would have long since found a way to get T & other meds)#edit: moved the trans flag down a couple panels to help the pacing of the joke
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PLS PLS IM BEGGING UPDATE COLLARS AND CAGES PLSSSSSS IM GONNA CRY THE CLIFFHANGER OF CHAPTER 4 PLSSS UPDATE IT
no
#okay but seriously#im sure you didnt mean to be rude#but im genuinely struggling so much with my physical and mental health#i can barely use my right hand at all#and some days i push myself through to try and write and you know what??#it makes my wrist worse#and yet every day i sit with this guilt and pain bcs im not doing enough#not writing enough#not good enough#and its not like i have my usual outlets to relieve stress#so yeah#ill update at some point i promise#its coming#but i literally struggle to physically type because i have one hand and one finger#and then wrist pain#and shoulder pain#and i was just SICK#like im trying my best i swear <3
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Making my final project about Jegulus and breaking hearts at class.
#I genuinely thought its was going to be a fail#turns out it wasn't#I'm so relieved that I could cry#I thank my hyperfixetion for making so many drawings of them
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The best part about writing emotionally constipated characters actively speak about their emotions with another emotionally constipated character is that the entire conversation smacks of tension and pain and unsaid things and it's delicious.
#the sheepy speaks#im writing cwd (whose title might change)#and its so funny to have like#miles (hates himself) edgeworth talking with maya (hates him) fey during turnabout goodbye#and so she says ''i didnt stay here during the earthqauke for you'' and he says ''i know#edgeworth is so happy someone doesnt expect him to be good or better#hes relieved someone hates him like he hates himself#and maya doesnt hate him per se but she does genuinely dislike him#i dont blame you''#its so much to me to write all this the way i do#this man has the worst fucking self esteem
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Could I request "cooking is an art form" with mahiru and presumbly orekoto? I read your Night drabble of those 2 and now the idea of a potential friendship has been stuck in my mind for days, that was probably the sweetest interpretation of him I've seen! Mahiru can't cook in the current state she's in though so I guess orekoto could act as her hands...?
Ah thank you so much!! I was so worried about doing Orekoto justice, that's so exciting you enjoyed 😭 We still don't have a ton of characterization for him, so bear with me, but I absolutely loved writing this. Thank you so much for the request -- with food playing such an important role in Mahiru's story/symbolism, and the pair's unique relationship, this made me so crazy to think about !!!
The knife twirled through Mikoto’s hands. He brought it down with a grunt. Emotion pulsed through his veins. He went back for another swipe, much harder than necessary. He wiped spatter from his face.
“You’re making a mess.” Mahiru observed from behind.
He glanced back to find her scowling at the tomato he was taking out his frustration on. “Who gives a shit? We’re not on cleanup duty.”
He wasn’t supposed to be on cooking duty, either. It was Mahiru’s night according to their usual rotation, but she was in no shape to do any physical activity. Mikoto must have volunteered, and also gotten into some fight about it, because now there he stood: angry at an unknown source, full of adrenaline, and worst of all, in charge of tonight’s curry.
“I suppose…” Mahiru said. “I think that’s Muu tonight, I’ll apologize to her later.”
It was unsettling, how she remained positively cheery as she walked him through each step of the recipe, despite her current condition and his bad attitude. Not that he’d ever turn his anger on her. Mikoto approved of her, and that was enough for him. She’d been going through so much at the hands of their common enemy, he wouldn’t say a single thing against her. Even as she tested his temper with her cooking instructions.
“No, no!” With her good hand, she tugged on the side of his uniform. “You have to turn the carrot as you cut it. Like -- yes, like that!”
Mikoto rolled his eyes as he did what he was told. “It’s all going to get cooked together anyways, it’s not a big deal.”
“It is! You have to take your time with things like this.” She placed her hand over her heart. “It’s about the process, not just the final product. Cooking is an art form!”
“It’s about the final product to me. I’m fucking starving.”
She was briefly distracted with the next set of instructions, telling him how to combine everything over how much heat. When she returned to the topic, her lighthearted voice was laced with a bit of desperation. “I mean it, there’s something magical about pouring your heart into something for someone else. Putting in your time. A little finesse here and there.”
“I know what it’s like to do something for someone else -- and there is absolutely no finesse involved. Or potatoes.” He gestured to the cut pieces before dumping everything into the pot over the stove.
“One of the most universal love languages is food, you know? People make meals and treats for their loved ones in every culture, in every time.”
“They do a lot of other things, too.”
“You went to art school, you understand. This is an expression of yourself!”
“It’s a waste of time.”
“It’s the surest way to help someone!”
“That’s a load of bullshit.”
There was a pause. Then a nervous laugh. Then, “yeah.” As she dropped into more uncharacteristic silence, he stole a glance at her.
Tears poured from her eyes.
“Mahiru?” Fuck, he didn’t mean to make her cry.
“It is.” she hiccuped. “I thought… I thought it could save him. I made this big meal… I thought… But I was so stupid…”
She buried her face in her hands, offering weak apologies for the sudden outburst. He threw the lid over the pot before stepping back to her.
“Hey, hey. Come on. Don’t cry.” It was a command rather than a comfort.
She didn’t listen. She just continued sobbing and blubbering on. “It was all stupid, worthless… I should have known…”
He crouched by the wheelchair. There didn’t even seem to be anything wrong, they’d just been talking about food. Why was she such a mess? He gave an impatient sigh. No reaction. What was Mikoto’s nickname for her again? “Listen, Mappi --”
She snapped her head up to look at him.
Her teary eyes flicked all over his face, making him scowl. “What?”
“Oh.” Her shoulders relaxed, though her breath still hitched. “Sorry. You said… and well… I thought you’d gone away. I want you to stay.” She took his hand. “You.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why?”
“Because you understand me.”
He did not. Like, at all. But he kept his mouth shut.
Thankfully, she was too talkative not to explain herself. “You love someone very much. That love turned out to be dangerous -- deadly. And you weren’t forgiven for it.” She pressed her lips together, suppressing the wave of emotion that almost overcame her. “And now we’re both getting what we deserve for it.”
“Like hell we are.” He felt the spark of rage again. “Neither of us deserve any of this shit, okay?”
“But --”
“No.” He glared at her. That familiar fire rose up inside him. “I’m tired of all your speeches and optimistic crap. You’re always falling over yourself for others. You’re pathetic. This place is hell, so you need to get your shit together and act like it. You might be willing to forgive the others, you might be able to treat them with that stupid sweetness all the time, but no one’s going to do the same for you. Stop letting them fuck with you.”
She gaped at him. He realized he’d leaned in very close. He prepared himself for more tears, or maybe some cowering away from him. Good. Mikoto didn’t need people like her who would convince him this verdict was deserved. He didn’t need any of these people. It was fine to push them all away.
Mahiru surprised him by leaning over. Her head rested on his chest. “It’s hard. It’s so hard, Mikoto. But… I’ll try.”
His attention was quickly ripped away by a hissing behind him. He yanked himself away from her to run to the curry, which was bubbling and burning and spilling out of the pan all over the stovetop.
With an outpouring of profanities and clattering of dishes, he cleaned the sad remains of dinner off the burner. When he looked back at Mahiru, she had dabbed at her eyes and composed herself slightly.
“It’s okay,” she said, “I’ll pick something easier you can make instead.”
“Nah, I’ll make more curry. Tell me how much of everything again.”
“A-alright.”
His agitation slowly faded as she began her gentle instructions again. Though he had just tore her apart for it, he was grateful for her patience with everyone around her. He probably could have left, then, seeing how calm the kitchen became. But he wasn’t risking ruining the meal a second time with an unexpected switch.
And maybe Mahiru’s words still played through his mind.
The food was back on the stove in no time. He stood diligently next to it. They’d lapsed into a content silence. He still didn’t know what had set her off earlier, but wasn’t about to ask questions.
Mahiru had regained her usual bright smile. “Hey, when I get better, I’ll cook something for you, okay? I think you don’t appreciate cooking because no one’s made something special for you before. I want to do that.”
He sneered. “Heh, sure. And I’ll let you in on my preferred art form.” His words were layered with sarcasm. By now, she could guess that included destroying things by putting all of one’s might behind a powerful swing.
But she giggled, completely unfazed. “Well, friendship is about give and take, right? I’d love to try.”
#milgram#mikoto kayano#mahiru shiina#trying to find a balance between his canon violent temper and harsh mannerisms#while showing hes not uncontrollable/frightening and is very protective of his friends as well as himself#he cares but he can only communicate very simply/bluntly#hes used to people being afraid of him specifically so hes suspicious of kindness (but still it means a lot to him)#i wasnt able to articulate it here but i think mahiru likes him so much because of his honesty#when she thought he looked like a cheater it was because she could pick up on his secrets/lies (even if he was unintentionally keeping it)#that and the fact she thinks theyre very similar#i mention he loves bokukoto -- this genuinely could be platonic or romantic depending on your thoughts#but mahiru definitely assumes its romantic asdfsdfds#omg the mental gymnastics i was going through when i first got this request because i wanted this exact setup but knew milgram wouldnt allo#prisoners to just be around all the dangerous utensils and kitchen items -- they could just steal a knife after all!#so i had all these meticulous plans to make it work and then amanes vd was like 'yeah anyone can just pick up a blade whenever' -_- ok#thank you again!! it really did make me crazy to think about it was such a good combination 👀👀👀#and i really was so relieved to do his character some justice ;-; thank you for your kind words!#drabbles
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if sex doesnt give me the kind of euphoria i just experienced after beating malenia in ng+ without the mimic then its straight up not worth my time
#no but like its actually really funny how i was so relieved and happy i beat her i got genuinely lightheaded#like lmfaooooo what 😭😭
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Still thinking abt when I was watching the first Saw with a group and someone kept being like "Well why would he put addicts in a trap they don't deserve that" and they only stopped when I said "Do you think someone who is putting people in saw traps is going to believe in harn reduction" and then they started telling people I don't like them and don't want them around and now like a whole circle of people in my dorm building act weird around me. I was literally just trying to pay attention to Saw PLEASE
#Genuinely a bit relieved the year is ending soon bc their roommate keeps glaring at me#and its like I DIDNT EVEN SAY IT TO BE MEAN. I DIDNT KNOW WE HAD BEEF UNTIL LITERALLY MONTHS AFTER#ONE OF MY OTHER FRIENDS HAD TO TELL ME THEY THOUGHT THIS.#I THOUGHT THEY STOPPED HANGING OUT WITH US BC THEY WERE BUSY 😭#chittering
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from my perspective the fact that they already found yukiko is so funny bc its LITERALLY been a day im on easy for the story and managed to day one yukiko's castle (which never happened the entire time i first played p4 i was spending at least a week on each dungeon sometimes in real life at least 3-4 days working on a boss or dungeon and i was on normal this game is HARD) and theres no blocks to progressing the story until you get to a certain date like in p5 you absolutely CAN and often will day one palaces in p5 but no matter when you complete it you will have to wait for the dead line to move on to the next arc p4 didnt do that i was able to do all stages aka bosses of yukiko's dungeon in a single trip i only went to the velvet room once after maxing all 8 of the personas i have to complete the compendium (and was able to get to level 20 in 8 floors and unluck 8 persona slots when you start at level 1 with 6 slots) like this is so fast yukiko went missing i think late yesterday so its been exactly 24 hours shes been found so the freak out to immediate relief is kinda silly to me i love it lmao
#og#destiny p4g replay#bUT ADACHI WHY TALK ABOUT ITYOU STUPID ITS PRIVATE POLICE STUFF i cant tell if hes actually good willed bc he lives in a completely#different persona with every single persona he knows he is constantly switching faces to appease the social situation so like as the man he#is in front of dojimas nephew / son does he ACTUALLY care about yu to some degree and want to relieve his stress with good news that his#friend is okay? persona is all about relationships baby and the point of adachi and yu's connection is they have SO MANY DIFFERENT#relationships that makes their situation so complicated. theyre opposed forces as hero and villain. theyre connected as persona users. they#connected by god and power. theyre connected by family. they had a genuine friendship. adachi was wrought with jealousy for yu. yu to some#degree had earnest love or at least respect for adachi as his friend his older mentor his uncle's / dad's trusted friend. theyre relationsh#p is SO COMPLICATED and thats what makes good rivals characters its why people like hero vs villain why so many people are adachi to joker#akechi its a very specific enjoyment of fundamental opposition with the added bonus of personal relationship complexities sprinkled on top#ts so delicious and why so many people like tense relationships in a story theres DRAMA and love and sometimes hate and hate of the love an#love of the hate its so good these relationships are so fascinating to me aaaaa#adachi posting#narukami posting#the fool and the jester posting#ig
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#i still cant believe i came out to her#after my parents... i think its her reaction or thoughts acceptance that i care about the most#we talked today#this has been so cathartic to me#my parents dont accept me#but she does#and i think that makes me feel a bit lighter#still processing the last few days and today#at times my thoughts are like... is this too good to be true#but... i know that this is real#and we have such a special bond#so this is true#and i am so glad. happy. and relieved.#looking back at all these years where i felt like maybe i can never open up to her about this... ha.#i mean i knew but it was scary.#i am elated but this is also the kind a kind of a really cathartic soreness#or something#idk#just... it makes me think that maybe things will be ok#i know it is all up to me#but... but this support and acceptance from her... it matters to me a lot and makes a huge difference.#And I know now that is genuine and true
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on the topic of #aro ludgercasey propaganda:
you see, even if ludgercasey becomes a canonically confirmed ship, i will never stop seeing them as aros because i genuinely believe that their aromanticism and disinterest in romance is what drew them together in the first place. imagine how tiring it is when almost everyone in your life approaches you with an interest in tying you down with them. imagine how refreshing it is when you meet someone who is concerned about no such thing and just genuinely wants to get to know you instead. there is no ulterior motive under kindness and curiosity. there is no pressure to do or accept favors. there is no need for codependency even when you enjoy each other's company. your bond is born from the comfort of being yourselves without having to take any caution that the other party might mistake your intentions for romantic interests.
even if your relationship happens to take place, the nature of your bond remains the same. what's so wrong with a marriage of convenience for the sake of both of your convenience? what's so sad about a romantic-less relationship when not all love is about romance? goodwill, intimacy, and trust can exist inside and outside any form of affection. whether or not you kiss or exchange love words says nothing about the depth of your bond or how much of an impact you have on each other. even if romance occurs, it is just a thing that sort of happens. you dont have to adhere to society's standards for couples if you have no interests. you dont have to always be or do everything together if you dont want to. you define your own relationship and make it your home — isnt that good enough?
#aro ludgercasey propaganda#aromantic casey selmore my beloved#aromantic ludger cherish my beloved#not all aros are interested in relationship but all relationships are objectively indefinitely more interesting when there are aros#not romantic coded or platonic coded but a secret third thing: aro4aro#i like ludgercasey regardless of the flavors but genuinely what got me interested in this ship in the first place was that#they were so glad/relieved that neither of them had romantic interests in each other lmfao#srsly my interest in ludgercasey would have dropped by 95% if they were not some flavor of aros#you cannot treat them like a normal allo ship & ignore their aromanticism bc its the essential ingredient that makes this ship what it is
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i really wanna buy some edibles for the ✨Special Out Of Touch Thursday The 4/20th✨ tomorrow but i've never ever done weed before (despite it being completely legal in canada for like 4+ years), and i also have a heart condition so i'm pretty nervous... do you have any words of wisdom before the Big Day?
uhhhh edibles for the first time??? edibles last a fuck of a long time and every time you eat after it you get crazy high all over again so i personally would not recommend edibles for the first time lmfao esp if ur prone to getting anxious, paranoid, and delusional plus since weed opens ur blood vessels thus making your heart beat faster which could be a good or bad thing again it could backfire and make u hallucinate shit and could be stress on ur heart idk a bong rip perhaps?? blunt?? pipe?? idk man 🤷♀️
#as someone who has weird heart twitches and glitches sometimes my heartbeat alone starts to stress me out when im high lmfao#plus again hearing shit/ getting convinced everyone is out to kill u ect. but i mean hell sometimes it chills me tf out and reliev#es physical pain sometime i get possessed by art gods its p cool sometimes#but Most of the time it makes me shifty it really aint a cure all fyi like u really aint gotta smoke it if it could cause problems#id probably like an edible at this point but the first time??? i thought i was genuinely on the brink of insanity when it lasted 24 hrs#sometimes my Extreme Debilitating social anxiety seems to vanish but other times its like a Catagory 7 Autism Event u rlly dont know#just b careful is all im sayin#drug mention#drug tw
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I love my friends
#i think im just going to talk in the tags for a moment. got a lot on my mind#for starters. the fnaf movie comes out soon. really looking forward to that. think its gonna be awesome and amazing and I'm super excited!!!#secondly. waiting on funds so i can buy that mask i saw the other day and some Halloween candy from Walmart#i . want to do little goodie bags for the kids in my building. but im too scared to go up to their parents and ask candy preference and#allergy concerns. so. idk. maybe I'll just save it. I think it's a cute concept but it makes me feel like my mother.#she loved to do little gift things for people. but it was always people that didn't like her. i don't want to be that way#i know my value. i know my time and energy means something. i don't want to waste it on people who don't give a shit. ya know?#not saying the kids are those kinds of people. not what i mean. but just as an overall thing. i don't like being like her.#...yeah. i dunno. you get raised by one person your whole life. you pick up some of their characteristics#i can't sob without sounding like her. safe to say i am a little emotionally constipated. so i seek other means to relieve that feeling.#like yesterday when i threw up. i played it off like that was a blunder on my body. but i know what i did.#hey. at least it's not the other method. right?. .. yeah. okay. i know. not great either#but it hurts. and I'm so fucking sick and tired of crying over her. genuinely. it's exhausting crying all the time#but that's the only way I can get those emotions out#I've tried to do the counseling thing. but other things made that impossible. then i moved.#and i tried the grief thing but instead i just got a talking buddy? he helps me get out of the house yeah.#but we dont talk about her#... i dunno. I'm just here.#guess i waited long enough. now you get a mini secret. every time i make an i love my friends post. I'm reminding myself why I'm still going#I'm usually sitting around somewhere in my apartment (desk couch bed) crying. alone. thinking about you guys.#so uh. thank you.#i love you guys so much. and i don't know where I'd be without you#probably dead.#💖#vent
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vol9 being just... so good has me conflicted lol
#mad and glad#relieved and yet#this was a comfort show and Is till don't know how to feel#about the behind the scenes stuff#but all the things you love typically have#something terrible behind the scenes#*vague gestures at rick berman#glad rwby is on crunchroll though#I mean they're shitty for other reasons#but at least there's a variety of stuff I want to watch#and I genuinely don't want rwby canceled#its a story that needs telling
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