#fuckin planes dude how do they work
Text
#MR FUCKIN PLANES HIMSELF FROM GTI!!!! OUR BEST FRIEND#emolga#i dunno if anyone is gonna get that reference but this one time i saw like. a paradise crew askblog on here randomly and the post i happene#to see was someone asking emolga what thing he thought was coolest to hear about from the human world. and he said like#fuckin planes dude how do they work#and i thought that was the most emolga quote ever and i loved it. and it's been bouncing around in my head ever since even though#i don't even know who wrote it. i dunno the askblog or if it even exists anymore#but either way. this is still like the only pmd character with a canon blush sprite besides watchog i think from psmd#everyone knows he eventually rejects virizion for dunsparce. his very obvious crush on dunsparce throughout the whole game#i have so many thoughts about gti it really is the best pmd game. in some senses. gti and also eotds and also smd are all my favorite pmds#that's three out of four of them and no i am not cheating
179 notes
·
View notes
Note
hey can your app help me?
Im in my third year of uni and i’m really not sure why I took this degree. I finish in a year and have no clue what i want to do with my life. I go to uni in a very chavy area and they all seem so chilled and laid back. it makes me very envious. I’ve always worked hard in school and at uni too and now I wish I could just relax and do fuck all like them. I’m swamped in deadlines and just need to get rid of all this stress. any solutions your app can offer?
Mate, I wouldn't just throw away all the hard work I've done over the last few years now. Ever thought about taking a vacation? Just switch off for a few days. Mallorca is supposed to be lovely this time of year. The air is pleasant, the sea is still warm…
Okay, the flight from Stansted to Palma was really exhausting. When you have the scallies as close to you as in the plane, they are not relaxed. Then they are loud. Then they are obtrusive. And then they have a dubious body hygiene. You just want to get out of the plane. In such a hurry that you take the wrong bag out of the hand luggage compartment. But you only realize this when you are sitting in the cab and want to tell the cab driver the address of your hotel. The only thing in the side pocket is a Thomas Cook voucher booklet. With vouchers for bus transportation. And for a two-star hotel in the third row in Magaluf. Damn, your wallet is gone, your documents, your money. How are you supposed to go on vacation for a week with 200 pounds in your pocket? Okay, according to the voucher even 10 days. But all inclusive. Fuck, make the best of it.
The cab driver throws you out of the cab. Obviously you have no money. The first bus to your hotel has left in the meantime. But the Thomas Cook representative shows you where the next one is waiting for you. In the bag was a pack of cigarettes. Actually, you don't smoke. But it's a vacation.
At the hotel, the lady at the front desk tells you that you have a voucher for half a double room. Your roommate is already upstairs. She can't give you a second key. If you want a single room, it costs 50 euros. Fuck again! Fucking Euros! You don't have any… You thought there was no euro since Brexit. Dude, get a grip… You can't get a clear thought together. Before you go to the room, you take a sip of the free sangria. Shit, that's sweet! A Guiness would be better now. One of the scallies from the plane bumps into you from behind. Your Sangria flows over your shirt and your pants. "Don't giv two shites, mate," says the chav. "but ya're wearin' way too much for a vacation in mallorca anyway." And laughs. It doesn't help, you have to go to your room and change. You knock on the door. Once more. Once more. One more time. "Hey, what the fuck, i'm fuckin' reel na," you hear from the room. "Mate, let me in, i dinnit hav a fuckin' key!" Did you really say that now. Your mate opens the door. Condom over rock hard boner. Makes high five, turns around and fucks the chick again.
You go into the bathroom with your bag. Fuck, your mate has already done a great job. You count at least five condoms. In the toilet, on the floor, in the sink. You take off your wet and sticky clothes and look what's in your bag. Five minutes later, you're standing in front of the mirror in surf shorts, wifebeaters, long white soccer socks and Adidas flip-flops. Now put on the fake gold chain. Hehehe, perfect for the pool party!
It is 02:00 o'clock, when you are drunk again at the room. From inside you hear your roommate snoring. You yell until angry shouts come from all the other rooms except yours. Hehehe, in the room next to you lives one of the horny guys from Liverpool, whom you have blown a while ago. He lets you into his room and you climb over the balcony into yours. Try it at least. You fall. Fortunately, you are on the first floor. Nevertheless, you have to puke from shock. And then you fall asleep in the flowerbeds.
After a week, you know which waiter you can bum cigarettes from. And which guest will give you ten euros for a blow job. Best vacation ever. Fuck yeah, your underpants are all either pissed or jizzed. You don't have a single clean t-shirt left, but on the beach you bought some fake soccer jerseys for a few euros. And the EA7 sports shorts look like real ones too. Hehehe, Liam lost his shirt in some chick's room again. And Darren is drunk again! Without you they wouldn't even find their hotel….
Tonight Germany plays against England. You want to go by bus to Palma. Watch the game. And no matter how it ends: Afterwards there will be a juicy brawl with a few German fans. As I said: Best vacation ever!
Fittin' pic found at @scallyplanet
173 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is for @henderdads. i wasn’t going to write more, but alas. here is steve and eddie figuring out how to haunt dustin (part one here!)
———
“Dustin! Hello!” Steve shouts, waving his hand in front of Dustin’s face to no reaction.
“It’s no good, dude,” Eddie says, sitting back on Dustin’s bed. “Little shit can’t hear you.”
Well, that’s not good. They’d been so excited when they finally figured out how to get to the real world so they could haunt people. Obviously, the first person they wanted to haunt is Dustin. But apparently, he can’t see them. Defeated, Steve perches on the edge of Dustin’s desk so he can watch the kid working on his math homework.
“Damn,” he says, “This is just like when we were in the Upside Down.”
Expression brightening, Eddie hops to his feet and crosses over to Steve. He grabs Steve’s face in his hands and kisses his forehead. “Stevie, you’re a goddamn genius,” he says. Then he lets go of Steve and rushes over to Dustin’s lamp.
“What’re you—oh!” Steve says. Eddie’s going to try to use the lights, just like when they communicated with Dustin, Erica, and Lucas at the Wheelers’ house. Eddie sticks his hand into the lamp and it glows brighter. Steve watches Dustin for a reaction. There’s nothing at first, but then he glances up from his homework and over his shoulder.
“Oh no,” he mutters.
“Yeah, it’s working!” Steve says, “Do the SOS thing!”
“Yeah, yeah, good idea,” Eddie says. He pulls his hand in and out of the lamp to do the Morse code. Steve watches closely as Dustin sticks his hands in his hair, pulling on it and shaking his head.
“No, no, no, this can’t be happening!” Dustin says, “There can’t be anyone in the Upside Down!”
Eddie pulls his hand out of the lamp. “No, c’mon, Henderson, not the Upside Down,” he says, “The fuckin’ afterlife, dude.”
“Why didn’t I buy a Lite-Brite,” Dustin is muttering to himself. Then he raises his voice. “Alright, whoever that is, I’m gonna need more! Do you know any more Morse code?”
“How do you say ‘no’ in Morse code?” Eddie asks, looking at Steve who shrugs.
Maybe realizing the dilemma, Dustin changes tactic. “Okay, how about one for yes, two for no?” Eddie sticks his hand in the lamp and pulls it out quickly to signal yes. “Great!” Dustin says, “And can you show me a no?”
Eddie sticks his hand in twice. No. Nodding excitedly, Steve gives him two thumbs up. “You’re doing great, babe!” he calls. Eddie grins at him.
“Okay,” Dustin says, sounding relieved. He’s out of his seat now, pacing but keeping his eyes on the lamp. “Are you in the Upside Down?”
No.
“No?” Dustin says, eyes wide. “Then where the hell are you?”
“How’m I supposed to answer that?” Eddie mutters.
Steve reaches out to smack Dustin’s head (his hand goes right through it). “C’mon, man, yes or no only.”
“Are you in a different alternate dimension that is not the Upside Down?” Dustin asks.
Eddie looks at Steve. “What d’you think? Are we?”
Steve shrugs. “Not right now,” he says, “We’re currently on earth. I think.” Eddie nods and puts his hand back to the lamp.
No.
“What?” Dustin asks, “How is that possible?”
“I know he’s asking rhetorically,” Steve says, “But by God this kid has gotta stop with the stuff we can’t answer.”
“Are you here in the room?” Dustin asks.
Yes.
“Yes!” Dustin says, “Fascinating! Can you see me?”
Yes.
Dustin is still pacing, looking excited. “This is an incredible discovery,” he says, “Beings that can communicate within our plane without being seen. You’re a scientific novelty!”
Eddie grins at Steve. “You hear that, Stevie? We’re a scientific novelty.”
“Man, I was really hoping we were gonna be able to freak him out with ghost shit,” Steve says, “I should’ve known he’d get all excited about it.”
“Okay, I want to figure out more about you,” Dustin says, “I think we’re going to need to go beyond yes or no questions. I have a book on Morse code. Can you see the whole room?”
Yes.
“Great! I’ll grab the book.” Dustin rushes to a shelf and rummages through it, eventually coming up with a book that he flips through until he gets to a page that has all the Morse code letters. “Alright can you see this?”
“I need him to bring it over here, how do I say that?” Eddie says.
“I can read it over his shoulder for you,” Steve says, hovering behind Dustin.
Nodding, Eddie signals yes.
“Okay, good,” Dustin says, “Now. Who are you?”
Reading over Dustin’s shoulder, Steve calls out the dots and dashes to spell out Eddie’s name.
“E…” Dustin says, watching the lamp, “D…D…I…E.” Then he drops the book, the pages flipping shut.
“Aw, c’mon,” Steve says, “How’re we supposed to talk to you now?”
Dustin has sunk to sit on the edge of his bed, hands over his mouth. Eddie shares a look with Steve who moves to sit next to Dustin on the bed, trying to pat his shoulder but mostly just going through it.
Finally, Dustin moves his hands off his mouth and looks back at the lamp. “Eddie?” he whispers, “Really? Our Eddie? You’re not just fucking with me?”
“How do I answer that?” Eddie asks, “That was like three for yes and one for no.”
Maybe realizing what he’s done, Dustin repeats, “Is it really Eddie?”
Yes.
Shit. Now Dustin is actually crying. Eddie looks sort of panicked, glancing back and forth between the kid and Steve, who’s at a loss. Watching his little brother cry is heartbreaking, especially since he can’t do anything to comfort him. He tries placing a hand on Dustin’s back anyway, and this time it actually stays there instead of sinking through. Dustin jumps about a foot, looking around frantically.
“What was that?” he asks, “Was that you?”
“Wait, hold on—how did he feel that?” Steve asks. Eddie just shakes his head, eyes wide.
No.
“No?” Dustin squeaks about an octave higher than his usual register.
“Why’d you say no? It’s just gonna freak him out more,” Steve says.
“He deserves to know you’re here too,” Eddie says.
Dustin is looking over his shoulder like he’s trying to see the spot on his back where Steve’s hand was. “Then what the hell was that?” When there’s no response from the lamp, Dustin picks the Morse code book back up and flips it to the right page.
“Gimme the letters for your name,” Eddie says. Steve reads them off.
“S…T…E…V…E,” Dustin repeats. Then he starts crying again, harder than before.
“Shit, dude, you don’t have to cry for me,” Steve mutters. He doesn’t even know if Dustin will be able to tell, but he puts an arm around the kid’s shoulders. It rests there instead of falling through, and Dustin jumps again but doesn’t shake him off.
“That you, Steve?” he whispers. Steve squeezes his shoulder and Dustin takes a shuddery breath that sounds a little like a laugh. Eddie leaves the lamp and sits by Dustin on his other side, putting a hand on his back under Steve’s arm. Dustin reacts to the touch. “Eddie?”
He looks from side to side, and he’s not quite looking directly at them, but Steve could maybe pretend he is. “I don’t know if I’m just losing my mind here, but I can kind of see you,” Dustin says, “Out of the corner of my eye.”
Steve catches Eddie’s eye over Dustin’s head and they smile at each other. Dustin seems so small and fragile between them, but he’s smiling too. When he speaks, there’s a devastating optimism in his voice.
“Thanks for coming.”
#okay this turned out kinda sadder than i meant#but in like a happy way#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#dustin harrington#stranger things#ficlet
839 notes
·
View notes
Text
primarily english speaking qsmp members as D&D characters because I can't help but fuse both of my current fixations together
Philza — species for this one was tricky, class and subclass a little harder, but I ultimately decided on aasimar ranger (horizon walker). kept trying to pick between aasimar and air genasi, almost put air genasi because I felt like qfoolish fit aasimar better, but they can both be aasimar it's fine. by the time I finish writing this, foolish might not even be an aasimar anymore, im still thinking. regardless, qphil has always been a bit of a tactician and a bowman, hasnt he? classic traits of a ranger. from there, it felt like horizon walker was the only subclass that fit. protecting from otherworldly threats, preserving life and other planes. yeppp sounds like this paranoid motherfucker right here.
BadBoyHalo — now that's a tiefling if I've ever seen one. class is a little more complicated. I've deliberated between paladin and warlock before eventually settling on paladin, making him a tiefling paladin (ancients). I don't have to explain the tiefling part (have you seen his everything?), but the paladin part could use it. we're yet to really see qbad make any real deals with any powerful forces, so that took out the warlock part for me. I wanted to make sure he had at least a little bit of magic though (c'mon), so I immediately went to paladin, and it worked out. he's a dedicated man! he'll make a promise and he'll fuckin stick to it. I debated between devotion and ancients after that, but devotion tends to have a more lawful side, which ended with me choosing ancients. they fight the darkness because they love life, plain and simple, and you're dull if you can't see how much this dude loves life.
FitMC — alright, I'm sorry, I had to do it, but this is a human fighter (rune knight) right here. I simply couldnt see him as anything other than human, and rogue and artificer didn't fit since there's other characters that fit those classes so much better, so fighter it was. still, qfit has a lot of cool gadgets and bits and bobs, and I wanted to recognize that in this adaptation of him, so I decided to show that through the rune knight subclass. rune knight fighters can do a lot of cool shit with their runes, enhancing pretty much anything they put their mind to. probably some shit he found scrawled in the horrors of 2b2t and decided to study.
Foolish — this one was hard! the fuck is this guy? I instinctively thought aasimar, but I already made qphil an aasimar, so I played around with different types of genasi and then goliaths, even minotaurs just trying to find something that fit the semi-inhuman sorta innately magical, physically strong being vibes. I think aasimar fit best, so then it was a matter of class. hes a builder! he builds shit. that's what qfoolish does. but he is NOT a mechanic and therefore not an artificer, not musical enough to be a bard, not angry enough to be a barbarian, so what the fuck is he? took a LOT of fucking around, but eventually I remembered the college of creation exists, and I felt it fit well enough, making him an aasimar bard (creation). he draws his power from his builds— he inspires with sight, not song. it's a unique take on a bard, but I've seen some awesome chef bards, so I think this works just fine. he's an architect bard.
Slimecicle — this one was FUN. 100% that's a fucking plasmoid. he's a goopy guy! then I experimented with different bard and rogue classes, thought maybe warlock for his deal with demon rubius, and then decided i couldn't disrespect the juanaflippa song and said fuck it, he can be a bard. again in correlation with the song, I went with valor, since he's telling her great story through the lyrics, keeping her memory alive with it. I DID consider spirits, however, since he actually managed to bring juanaflippa back, however briefly. still, I felt valor fit the bill just a little better. he's a plasmoid bard (valor).
JaidenAnimations — ohhh this one took some thought. I wanted her to be fairly humanoid while still having some subtle unusual traits, and elf was considered but it felt too regal. I almost considered kenku for how she tends to repeat what other people say, but it wasn't right. thought I'd try something a little strange, and I ended up with shifter! specifically wildhunt. class was just as difficult— she wasnt going to be any primarily martial classes, so that cut out a bunch, and she's not really faithful or super devoted, so that took out paladin, warlock, and cleric, and eventually I narrowed it down to sorcerer, picking aberrant mind for their mystery and influence on others. being the only woman in an island full of gay twinks is tough, man. she's a shifter sorcerer (aberrant mind).
Wilbur — half-elf bard (eloquence). this one came pretty quick to me, actually. the bard part is more than obvious, subclass picked for the number of times qwilbur's casually convinced other people to just go with the bit. he's a man of words, and he weaves them well. he can be damn persuasive, mixing in genuine arguments with small white lies, all while playing your heart strings just right. half-elf is almost entirely vibes honestly— human was too bland, elf too spicy, so we met in the middle.
DanTDM — this dude's been gone since the very fucking beginning pretty much. I almost want to make him a rogue just for that, but man, he's the diamond minecart, alright? I grew up watching him. it'd be a disservice not to make him an artificer. from there, alchemist best suited the vibes, since he never really did much of anything machinery-related. he is a human artificer (alchemist).
#qsmp#look#I Know three of them are bards.#but we have some whores here okay#let them be#qsmp philza#qsmp fitmc#qsmp dantdm#qsmp jaiden#qsmp wilbur#qsmp slimecicle#qsmp badboyhalo#qsmp foolish#qsmp juanaflippa#I think I'll do an egg edition of this soon#I'm not familiar enough w the Spanish and Portuguese speakers to do a whole post on each of them#but I could probably do at least some of them#anyways I fucking love dnd guys#if y'all have any other ideas absolutely share in tags#these are not concrete and I would love feedback
96 notes
·
View notes
Note
okay i have another head canon 🫣🫣 feed into my delusions jade i fucking dare you. all right, how about travelling with them for the first time since you started dating? i wonder what that would be like 👀👀
namjoon is praying you don’t break up with him at your terminal because he forgot his passport at home. he’d understand if you did, tbh. he’s disappointed (but not surprised) at himself. when you just laugh (because it’s as funny as it is infuriating, okay??) he’s over the moon. he’s taking you to a bunch of significant cultural and historical sites, museums, etc., and he’s gonna tell you everything that giant sponge brain has absorbed. he’s def reading some almanac or similar shit on the plane to study up.
seokjin doesn’t have a plan/itinerary, but he does have a massive list of all the restaurants he wants to hit, wineries/breweries/distilleries you might come across, etc. and he actually does a good job of keeping you calm with all the travel stress by being a giant fuckin goofball. this is the one situation where he’s not yelling, whining, etc. when he gets frustrated because he prioritizes your well-being 💕
yoongi has his shit right together, but in a very low key way. he doesn’t announce any of it, but he’s in full airport dad mode. he knows exactly when your flight is and how early you need to be there; he’s done the pre-boarding whatever the fuck. he somehow has any toiletry item you didn’t even think to bring. i guarantee he has tampons and tummy meds and shit, just in case. thoughtful bastard 😭 but don’t you dare comment on any of this or make it a big deal that he’s so prepared because he will blush to death.
hoseok is free as a fucking bird. he’s following the wind, babeeeeey. he is allergic to planning, doesn’t want to have a destination in mind. he’ll flip a coin to see where you’re flying. where are you staying? you’ll figure it out when you get tired. energy out the wazoo, too. no time for naps — you’ve got shit to do, people to meet, places to be!!
jimin strikes me as the anxious traveler type, so i bet he’s checking and re-checking all your reservations, making sure your backup plans have backup plans, etc., because he needs whatever you’re doing to go well and be 👏🏻 special 👏🏻. you must hold his hand at all times so you don’t get separated, and because he needs an anchor. he will most certainly, accidentally get wine drunk in the airport bar due to stress, lmao.
taehyung is — where is taehyung? you take your eyes of this guy for a second, and he’s 🏃🏻♂️ off doing taetae shit. you’ll have to follow a breadcrumb trail (it’s probably the shoes he kicked off, a dropped ascot, etc.) to find him. an unintentional scavenger hunt. when you do locate him, he’s staring wide-eyes at something scenic, speaking so poetically about how beautiful life is — and ya know what? he’s right. you saw the whole damn city while you were trying to find him, and you wouldn’t have, otherwise!! for real, you gotta get one of those backpack leashes like a lil kid at the zoo, otherwise…. hope you brought supportive footwear. your ass is getting those steps in 😵💫
jungkook is relying on you completely. he doesn’t know what’s going on, where he is, what he needs to get done, etc., so you’re gonna have to do allllll of the logistical work. HOWEVER, he makes it feel like it’s not a chore. it’s sooo fun because this boy is full of wonder, and so fucking eager. dude is down for whatever, just point the way.
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
Death of Peace Of Mind (Streamer/Camboy AU)
Pairings: Ghost/Soap, Implied Ghost/Roach/Soap, Implied Roach/Jackson
Warnings: Smut
Description: Roach gets a new mysterious donator on his streams
Word Count: 7.8k
Actual usernames used: @missiridescent and @probablylikesixducks
He tosses a flash into the room, waiting only a few seconds before rushing in after it. He doesn’t even have to think as his hands move, this is all muscle memory for him. His gun goes up, he shoots the disoriented enemy in the corner, making quick work of him with no shots on himself. Another door opens and one of the man’s teammates pops out.
It’s a tough battle for several moments, bullets spraying between them. A few catch on to Roach but, in the end, he’s the better shot. His enemy goes down first and it only takes two more shots to kill him for good. Roach had checked the house beforehand, he knew that there was one other person on the bottom floor. One other person standing between him and the end of this.
He tends to his wounds, taking ammo off the other two men’s bodies before creeping to the door. He moves slowly and carefully, and finally, he pauses at the top of the stairs. He can’t see the two men’s remaining ally, he knows he’s going to have to make a risky move to finish this. He tosses another flash first, hoping the man below him was stunned by the sudden bang and light. His grenade goes next, cooked in his hand for several moments before he finally tosses it down. It explodes within a few seconds of leaving his hands. He jumps down after the explosion, flinging himself down the stairs in a quick sprint followed by a slide.
It only takes him a second to locate the other man. Still disoriented from the flash and weak from the small explosion, it only takes a few shots to get him to the ground and another few shots to finally kill him. He pauses, a grin pulling across his face as cheering erupts in his ear. The screen flashes with news of his team’s victory.
“Fuckin’ hell Roach that was incredible,” Jackson calls out to him over his headset, “Carrying my ass through this game.”
Roach snorted, leaning back into his gaming chair as the ending animation of their characters loading onto a plane played through, “That’s because you don’t pay attention. If you’d stop running your mouth for two seconds you wouldn’t get run up on.”
“Your viewers come to listen to me run my mouth,” his friend shot back with a tease. Roach rolled his eyes at the man, but a grin still pulled at his mouth. He turned his attention to his second monitor, his eyes scanning across the quickly scrolling words from his chat. Most of the comments were either victory emojis or just a simple “W” typed in to chat. There were a couple of longer ones, but none that particularly struck him.
Another donation came in, “Thank you Allysourous16 for the 15! I really appreciate it!” He fixed his webcam with a bright grin. “What do you guys think? Do you guys just come here for Jackson?” He wasn’t surprised in the slightest when chat began running quickly across, many people typing out a simple “yes” or “YES” or “Jackson is actually my boyfriend” into his stream. He chuckled at a few of the responses, particularly the thirsty ones that were begging him to ask Jackson to say something with the accent he usually suppressed.
“They love me, don’t they?” Jackson was smug, a clearly teasing tone to his voice, “I’m gonna steal your stream dude, we’ll call it the Jackson takeover.”
Roach snorted, “I don’t think they’ll go for that, most of them are talking about how lame you are.” He turned his attention back to his game with a smile on his face. He was quickly clicking through his weapons, checking and tweaking his loadouts based on the last game that they’d played.
“Stop projecting onto me now, Roach,” Jackson scolded him playfully, “Doing regular duos again?”
Roach hummed, “Unless you wanted to switch to DMZ or something,” he commented, “Or I guess we could go play just regular TDM.” He could practically hear Jackson’s disgusted huff and he couldn’t help but snicker.
“You know I fucking hate TDM.”
“I do,” Roach glanced back over to his chat, “And I’ll never understand why.” His eyes scrolled the various questions that flashed across the screen and caught on to one in particular. He gave a hum, “When is your next spicy stream?” He gave a chuckle, bringing one of his feet up in his chair so that he could tuck his knee to his chest. “Tomorrow night,” he grinned at the camera, “Regular streams are Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Spicy streams are Tuesdays and Saturdays. Videos drop on Thursdays and Sundays for both the channel and the website.”
“He’s got it all scheduled out,” Jackson commented, “Follows that shit like it’s a religion.”
“It’s important to be on time,” he defended himself. He clicked back over on the game, loading their little party of two into another match, “You’re late all the time, so I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”
“Yeah, yeah, see if I revive you this next match,” he threatened playfully, “I’ll ruin your stats man, don’t test me.”
“To revive me,” Roach started dryly, “You would have to live longer than two seconds.”
“Fuck you.”
“So me, you, and Logan tomorrow?” Roach nudged the door to his small home closed with his foot. He had his phone pressed between his face and his shoulder as he carried numerous bags on his arms, trying not to drop anything as he stumbled to his kitchen.
“Yeah,” Jackson responded, “I checked with James and Frost but they’re both being lame.”
“By being lame,” Roach dumped the bags on his counter, “You mean having lives and jobs outside of streaming?”
“Hey,” Jackson shot back, “I have a job outside of streaming and I still play.”
“That’s because your job is connected to my job asshole,” Roach rolled his eyes leaning against his countertop with a grin, “Not everyone can get their best friend to hire them as their manager.”
“Ah, ah, ah,” Jackson chided, “My official job title is manager and professional best friend. Thank you very much.” Roach gave a snort, fondness flowing through his chest. Despite all his teasing, Roach was ever grateful for Jackson’s help. The man was far more knowledgeable about the ins and outs of setting up a channel, managing it, and managing the money from it than Roach was. He’d been nothing but a blessing for Roach when he’d initially started streaming and, when he’d started making his other content as well, Jackson hadn’t even blinked, simply helping him set everything up. It had been natural for Roach to hire his friend. He made enough money for it, so why not? “You prepped for your stream tonight?”
Roach gave a hum, glancing over at the various bags sitting on his counter. “Yup,” he popped the p in the word, “Actually just got back in from the store. Stocked back up on lube and all that good stuff.”
“Did the lady at the checkout look at you like you were insane again?” Jackson snickered over the phone, “Can’t imagine most people buy six bottles at a time.”
Roach felt himself flush. The lady at the store had looked at him like he was crazy. He’d only managed to get through the interaction by directing his attention elsewhere in the store, trying to avoid her gaze as his face burned red. It was the oddest thing in the world: on camera, Roach could be shameless but the second the camera wasn’t there and he was melting into the ground. “Shut up,” he muttered into the phone, “You know I go through it like crazy.”
“We should see if they sell gallons of the stuff,” Jackson teased, “That’s about a week's worth for you.”
“I hate you,” Roach groaned, burying his face into his arms, “Best friends are supposed to be nice.”
“No we aren’t,” Jackson chimed, “I’ll stop embarrassing you though, I can practically see how red you are right now.”
“You’re the worst,” Roach gave a huff. “Thanks for planning tomorrow, twitter’s been going wild about the line-up. Apparently, someone started a rumor that Allen was back for the week and would be playing with us.”
Jackson snorted, “Please, Allen’s too busy running around with his creepy Russian boyfriend, we probably won’t even get another text from him for a month or so.”
“And it will be a response to a three-month-old meme,” Roach couldn’t help but laugh at the thought. He loved his friend, but the man was far too predictable and far too busy, his stream loved it when Allen showed up, he was like a fan-favorite special guest for the stream just because of how rarely he was there.
Jackson gave a similar laugh in his ear. “Alright, well, do you need anything else from me for the day?”
Roach started digging through his bags on the counter, pulling out the cold items of his groceries that would need to go back up, “Not that I can think of. You gonna watch the stream tonight?”
“Was planning on it.”
“Cool, cool. Talk to you tomorrow then.” With that all handled, Roach finally set his phone down and started unloading everything he’d bought for himself, his body humming with energy as he moved around. He always got like this the day before a stream, he never wanted to sit still. He was a stickler for a schedule, but on certain days he wanted more than anything to just start his stream early and work off some of the energy that had built up under his skin.
He had to be patient though, and being patient meant finding something to help him pass his time. That was how he ended up where he usually found himself: curled up on his couch with his tablet in his lap, paying a visit to his favorite YouTube channel to check for any new updates.
Roach never considered himself someone who would enjoy watching a vlogging channel, much less a couple's vlogging channel. Apparently, all it took to get him watching was for both of the people who were over the channel to be ridiculously attractive.
YourFavoriteBoyfriends were the current favorite couples channel of YouTube and, after watching the couple’s first video, he could understand why. The two men were as if a dog and cat took human form and fell in love. Their sun and moon dynamic was the constant talk in the comments of their videos.
There was Soap, a bubbly Scottish man who’d proudly proclaimed that he’d forced his boyfriend, Ghost, to do the channel with him. During the videos, he’d constantly be giving big smiles and laughs for the camera, always high energy with one joke or another to crack. While usually, Roach would find people like that to be forcing their energy, he’d been surprised to watch Soap and come to the conclusion that the man was fairly genuine with his high energy. That was just his personality and it drew Roach, and several other viewers, in. He was an attractive man as well. Both he and his boyfriend were quite muscular, and Soap didn’t shy away from showing that off during their videos. Whether it be a check-in while the two were at the gym or a shirtless morning intro to the video. Roach wasn’t going to complain, he enjoyed the sight just as much as the men seemed to enjoy showing off.
Then there was Soap’s boyfriend, Ghost. A bit of a mystery in the community thanks to the ever-present masks that he wore. Apparently, it was the only way that Soap could get him to agree to be on camera. If it wasn’t a skull-painted balaclava then it was a face mask and dark sunglasses. The community had never seen his face and, like many other faceless YouTubers, he’d built up a rather large community of thirsters thanks to his extremely attractive deep voice and occasional random hand pics that he would post to Twitter. He also, as Roach had learned recently, was a gamer with a stream of his own. He, Soap, and one of their friends who was a frequent guest on their channel, Gaz would typically stream together. Roach had been frequenting those streams when he could on his private account and he’d, rather embarrassingly, donated numerous times just to get up to that “hand cam” goal that Ghost had.
As he usually did on days like this, he checked their YouTube channel first. Nothing had been recently posted and he’d already watched their latest video “Swapping Gym Routines” about six times since it had come out only three days prior. The video was definitely a thirst fest for their fans, something that both Soap and Ghost seemed to know based on their jokes throughout the video. Roach was more than a little embarrassed to note that the video had certainly been on his mind during his stream later that night. He’d been more than thankful that he hadn’t accidentally let the fantasies going through his mind slip out of his mouth during the stream.
He clicked away from their channel and checked their friend’s next. Gaz didn’t post often, but when he did it was usually either his own vlog, a rather entertaining gaming video, or a random prank that he’d pulled on Soap and Ghost. Roach was disappointed to see that he hadn’t posted anything either. His next stop was Twitch and, as soon as he loaded in, he let out an excited yelp, quickly clicking on the stream on his front page. Luckily his tablet was already on his private account, so he didn’t have to worry about trying to hurriedly switch over just to watch Ghost’s stream.
He was pleased to see, as the stream finally caught up, that it wasn’t just Ghost, but also Soap sitting next to him at the desk, leaning his head on his shoulder to presumably just watch as Ghost played a match of Warzone. Soap was the one talking when the audio finally started coming through, “Ghost has me on today solely so that I can’t sneak off and donate the rest of the money for the hand cam.”
Ghost snorted, his entire focus clearly on the game as his character quickly moved around the screen, gathering loot. “The point is that it's harder for them to reach the goal today,” he rumbled out, his voice sending shivers down Roach’s spine. “But if they reach the goal, they get the hand cam for the rest of stream.”
Roach’s eyes widened and he looked immediately to the little goal meter in the corner of the stream. If they reached five thousand dollars then Ghost would turn on his hand cam for the rest of the stream. He checked the time on the stream and noted with a bit of a pout that apparently the man had been streaming for an hour. Still, despite how long they’d been going, it was still the middle of a day on a Tuesday for many of their viewers, meaning that there weren’t that many people there and weren’t that many people donating, something he assumed Ghost knew very well. The goal bar was only a little past halfway at a total amount donated of $2,700.
Roach squinted at the little bar for a moment his hand twitching at his side. Well, tonight was one of his streams…
He jumped off the couch quickly, scrambling to his room to grab his wallet before scrambling back into the room, his hands moving quickly as he clicked around on his screen to move over to the donation page. He typed everything in as quickly as possible before hitting send, a grin crossing his face as he tabbed back over to the stream, just waiting for his donation to go through.
It was a few minutes until the donation was finally processed, he knew very well how often it could take for larger donations to finally go through. It was between games when the sound for the donation went off, Ghost and Soap both looked to the corner at the same time and Roach couldn’t help the giggle that pulled from him when he saw both of their faces.
LoveBug has donated $2,300: Anything for the hand cam!
“LoveBug I’m literally in love with you!” Soap jumped up from his seat excitedly, laughing like a maniac as he paced around behind Ghost who, even with the mask on, looked absolutely shell-shocked. Chat was a quick-moving mess with numerous people typing out their excitement and words along the lines of “LoveBug being iconic as usual” “I knew our lord and savior LoveBug would come through” “Common LoveBug W” and several other more excitable and thirsty comments.
“I’m going to have to ban you from donating or something,” Ghost grumbled, clicking a few things on his keyboard. Within moments a small screen had popped up just below the face cam that he had, this one aimed at his hands as they moved the mouse and clicked various things on the keyboard. “I really thought that the larger donation would keep you from coming in to finish it off LoveBug. Thank you for the donation, but also I can’t believe you right now.”
Roach kicked his legs out excitedly, trying not to giggle like a madman as he collapsed backward to lay across his couch, grinning up at the screen in front of him like a lovesick teenager. The fact that he’d donated so much for the hand cam so many times that both Ghost and Soap recognized him should have embarrassed him, instead, he just found himself flushing red as that buzz under his skin grew more prevalent.
After another moment Soap returned to his seat next to Ghost on the stream, a big grin on his face. He turned to the camera and called, “LoveBug, I’m in love with you. If we ever meet I’m kissing you.” Roach didn’t think he should be responsible for the loud squeal he’d let out after he heard those words.
Roach smoothed out the sheets over the bed for what had to be the fifth time in only a few minutes. He’d made the unfortunate mistake of getting up to get ready for his stream too early and now, here he was, with another ten minutes to go and nothing to do to pass his time. He decided to do yet another check over of his mental list.
His camera was all set up already, and the TV on his back wall displayed his stream so that he could read chat easily while things were going on. It had been a recommendation from Jackson after one of the streams he’d joined. Looking at a computer screen could be difficult while everything was happening, but if it was on a large TV monitor, he’d be able to see donations, chat, and make sure his camera was still working properly all at once. He checked the angle on the camera, noting with satisfaction that, as usual, it was perfectly showing the upper half of the bed he was on.
He looked over the sheets next, making sure that the waterproof blankets he had were laid out properly. Those had been his own idea. While he didn’t sleep in his streaming room, he still had to clean up between sessions and the blankets made it so that he would only have to wash one sheet as opposed to several. He ran his hand over the blanket, giving a small sigh of satisfaction at the feel of the material on his skin.
He had a bottle of lube for the stream propped up by the pillows for easy access and a bottle of water and a towel on a little stand-off camera for him after the more active part of the stream. He’d hesitantly pulled out one of the various toys that he owned as well, though he doubted that he would actually use it. It was there just in case chat wanted it, though, knowing his viewers, he seriously doubted they would. They tended to vote for just his hands unless he had something particularly fun to offer.
He looked over himself next, giving himself a quick check over in the mirror. He’d already stripped himself of both his pants and underwear, it was just easier that way, and while he might usually choose to put on one of the various outfits he had for stream, he’d instead opted for one of the oversized shirts he owned. They did wonders for covering him just enough until he was ready for them to come off. This one in particular was from one of his merch drops and he was a sucker for the color of it.
He checked his phone again and gave another deep sigh. Still eight minutes until his stream would actually start. He gave a deep huff, but went ahead and settled himself on the bed against the pillows. He pulled out his phone and shot a quick text to Jackson, jokingly asking if he could start stream early. Jackson had only responded with a simple “do it, no balls.” Roach had jokingly responded that the man was about to see them, so he knew that wasn’t true.
He checked Twitter next, scrolling through various mentions and occasionally retweeting things, mostly fanart, that he was tagged in. Though he was still anxiously awaiting the time for his stream to start, he was able to at least somewhat distract himself until, finally, it was time for him to start. The buzzing under his skin grew, pulling a flush over his entire body.
He tossed his phone onto his nightstand and moved himself to sit up nicely against his pillows, his legs tucked underneath him so that the bottom of his shirt fully hid everything. He gave himself one last look over before leaning over to where his computer was set up and quickly hitting the button for his beginning animation to run through before starting his camera. He watched his tv monitor as the animation began to run through, his chat already running past at an ever-quickening pace. By the time his camera finally turned on and he was finally live, he had a grin on his face.
His chat during these streams certainly wasn’t as big as his regular chat, after all, there was no way he was going to have as many people paying to watch a stream of him fucking himself, but his viewers here made up for it with their excitement and constant flow of compliments. It hadn’t been until after his first stream that he fully realized that he might have a thing for praise. Jackson had helped him realize that he also probably had a thing for degradation as well.
“Hey guys!” he started quickly, his voice chirpy as he smiled at the camera, “Man you guys have no idea how much I’ve been waiting for this stream.” He chuckled, his eyes scanning over the various greetings and responses he was getting in chat. His eyes caught sight of Jackson adding quick moderation messages or taking negative messages out before he could even have a chance to read the first word. His friend was unbelievably quick. “Okay so,” he leaned forward with a grin, “I have something laid out but,” he let one of his hands grip the edge of his shirt, pulling it up just slightly as he pretended to be a bit nervous. As he expected, his chat started going crazy.
He bit his lip and looked away from the camera, feeling himself flush red. He tucked his hands between his knees before speaking, “Well, I was thinking I might just use my hands today.” He squirmed in his place, feeling himself go hot all over as his chat responded excitedly, donations calling for him to use his hands and making requests of what exactly they wanted him to do with his hands rolling through. “But I don’t want to disappoint you guys,” he let a little bit of his accent shine through, knowing how often the slight Southern twang to his voice drove chat wild. Something about “innocent southern twinks.” Though he definitely didn’t consider himself to be a twink, if that was what chat wanted to call him then he would let them.
He gave the camera a quick bat of his lashes as his hands began to run up and down his thighs, slowly exposing more and more of his skin as the fabric pressed up. “What do you guys want?” As expected, his chat responded enthusiastically in favor of him using his hands and his hands only for the stream. At their agreement, he gave the camera a beaming smile, “You guys are so good to me!” He gave a tall stretch, feeling his shirt ride up just enough for him to flash the camera, as he expected, chat was calling him a tease within only a few seconds of the action.
“What?” he tilted his head at the camera, “What did I do? I was just stretching so I’d be ready for you guys.” With that, he began sliding a hand up his thigh, carefully avoiding his dick, before sliding the hand slowly up his chest to begin playing with one of his nipples. He gave a short sigh, tilting his head back while biting at his bottom lip. It was all a part of the show, but one that he took pleasure in. Though he couldn’t see his chat, the sound of donations increasing told him that they were quite happy with the move he’d made. Like this, he was still providing a bit of a tease with the shirt covering what his hand was doing, but his chat could see his hardening cock clearly.
After several moments he brought his head forward again, his low eyes scanning over his chat as he brought his other hand under his shirt to begin playing with his other nipple. He waited patiently, giving only slightly dramatized gasps as he touched himself. He knew if he waited long enough, if he teased long enough, someone in his chat would break. Sure enough and moments later someone had donated the $100 dollars for a request that he take the shirt off. He gave the camera a quick pout, but didn’t make them wait any longer before he slowly stripped the shirt off, leaving him naked.
He kept one of his hands flicking at his nipples, but he slowly lowered the other to press against his cock, pulling a low moan from his lips. He pulled his hand back with a quick look up at the camera before taking in a desperate breath and asking, “Can I touch myself?” He bit his lip as he flicked at his nipple again, letting his eyes close just briefly before adding in a whine, “Please?”
He held for several moments, keeping his face pleading as he gasped shamelessly for the camera with every tweak of his nipple. His chat was responding overwhelmingly positively, several donations rolling through begging for him to finally start touching himself properly. He was just as eager as his chat so, though he certainly could have drawn it out longer, he was quick to collapse back against his pile of pillows, propping himself up into a sitting position against them as he called out, “You guys are so sweet to me, so sweet.”
He grabbed the bottle of lube from the pillow next to him, quickly opening it and pouring just a bit too much into his hand for simply touching himself. He knew how wild it drove stream when he had the slick substance practically dripping from him. He was quick to hold his hand out above his cock, tilting it to the side and letting some of the substance fall down onto his length. He gave a startled groan when the still-cold substance hit his heated arousal. His hips gave a brief jerk, but he was quick to follow the substance up with a hand wrapped around himself firmly.
He tossed his head back with a whine before once again directing his attention to the camera in front of him and his chat continuously scrolling by. Slowly he started to stroke himself, tightening his grip on his cock every time he neared the base before loosening it as he reached the top. He kept his pace slow and steady, breathless moans and whines pulled from his throat at every second. Occasionally he would run his thumb over the tip of his cock, fingering his slit in a move that would have his hips jerking up and his legs shaking.
He could feel pleasure pooling in his gut, the praise from his chat only added to the sensation of his hand slowly working him to his finish. He spread his legs out further, giving the camera a good look at him as he moaned and gasped obscenely at the sensations of his hand against his cock. Eventually, he brought his hand away from his nipples and down to his cock as well. He gave himself a quick stroke with both of his hands before lowering it further to fondle at his balls and occasionally sneak lower to tease at his hole.
He was teasing his chat again, just circling the rim of himself as he jerked himself off. Occasionally he would let one of his fingers just tease into his hole, but he would be quick to arch his back and give a desperate moan afterward, raking his hand back up his thighs to play with his balls again instead. Of course, he would eventually fuck himself with his fingers, but he intended to make himself come from just a hand on his cock first. After that, he would make his chat beg for him to have another with his fingers. At least that had been the plan.
Even his best-laid plan couldn’t have prepared him for the donation that he spotted flashing across his screen with a request under it. He froze in his spot when he saw it, his hand going still on his cock as he just stared with pure shock. Even his chat seemed absolutely stunned, the feed slowing for several moments before picking up quickly again with praise for whoever had donated.
SudsNSkulls has donated $1,500: If you don’t fuck yourself with your fingers for the love of God
Then a few seconds later…
SudsNSkulls has donated $500: Sorry that came off as mean, please fuck yourself with your fingers we are desperate
Roach just stared at the screen, several different emotions crossing him at once. He’d never had someone donate so much at once on one of his streams, and certainly not back to back like that. The fact that it had been back-to-back donations told him that the large amount certainly wasn’t an accident. He’d never seen this donator before but, based on the messages, there were at least two people watching from the account. Two people who had just donated a shit ton of money. Their messages almost made him want to laugh with the nervous nature of them, but he couldn’t laugh. Not when these people had just donated 2,000 dollars to watch him fuck himself.
After a long hesitant moment with lots of messages coming through of “I think they broke him,” “He looks so confused fuck that's adorable,” and “Doubt he’ll actually listen to the request. You just wasted 2k,” he finally moved. He removed his hand from his cock, still feeling the slick of lube on his palm, and reached out to grab the bottle of lube again. He grew more confident as he moved, he could freak out over the fact that they’d just donated so much after the stream, but for now, he would make sure they got their 2k worth. If that meant skipping ahead a little, so be it.
He popped the cap on the lube and poured another decent amount onto his fingers. He tossed the bottle back to his bed before warming the substance up in his hand, he could do cold for the first part, but not this part. Once he was comfortable with the temperature and chat was starting to get impatient again, he slowly lowered his slick fingers down toward his hole, making sure that his legs were spread wide enough that the camera could see everything.
At first, he just did what he had been doing previously, rubbing his fingers along his rim teasingly, occasionally poking one finger inside of himself to tease. By the time he actually pushed a finger fully inside, he was a panting mess, his chest falling up and down rapidly from the stimulation and the precious pleasure of the earlier friction on his cock. He worked his finger in and out of himself for several moments, pressing against his tight walls carefully to loosen himself up just a bit.
The slow drag of just his one finger wasn’t enough and soon he was adding a second and working inside of himself carefully. He arched his back slightly at the feeling, moving his fingers in a scissoring motion to stretch himself out for the camera. He brought his free hand back up to his nipples, little moans escaping his mouth as pleasure shocked up his spine. Slowly he started to increase the speed with his fingers, building himself back up to that edge. He could wring multiple orgasms from himself in more than one way.
As he brought himself closer and closer to the edge, curling his fingers inside of himself, he made sure to fix his gaze on the camera. His mouth was hooked open as noises escaped him with every move. He added a third finger to himself suddenly, giving a high keen at the stretch and jerking his hips into the movement, his cock weeping between his legs. He knew himself and he knew that he was going to need stimulation to his cock before he would cum, but he drug it out, fucking himself quickly with his fingers while whining and whimpering.
He brought himself just to the edge, squirming at the too-much and not-enough pressure of his fingers. He kept himself there for several moments, his voice desperate and his chat going absolutely wild at the display. Another donation came through.
SudsNSkulls has donated $500: Do you need permission to cum sweet boy?
And Oh. Roach certainly didn’t expect the moan that was pulled from his throat at the question, but fuck, if that wasn’t doing it for him. He did so like it when others took charge and he could see his chat going wild with the question. Really it was because of his chat that he nodded along to it. It definitely wasn’t because of the arousal that had flooded his system.
That certainly wasn’t why he tossed his head back and whimpered out, “Yes, yes, oh fuck, yes! Please, please, please let me cum! Oh, fuck-”
He brought his eyes back to his chat as he continued pounding himself with his fingers, his legs spasming with every thrust of his fingers. He hadn’t really meant for another donation to come through, though he certainly should have known based on their previous donations.
SudsNSkulls has donated $500: Go on then, cum for us
Roach let out another high whine but immediately moved his hands from his nipples and down to his aching cock. It only took a few pleasurable quick strokes to himself before his hips were stuttering and pleasure was piling over him in waves. He continued stroking himself through the feeling and working his fingers inside of himself.
Even as his own cum dripped down his hand and chest, he kept working himself. He gave several loud moans as sweet overstimulation wracked his system. It was so unbelievably good, he was having a hard time paying attention to chat. He even almost missed another donation.
SudsNSkulls has donated $250: Going again? Dirty boy
He gave another long moan at those words, his face going red as he found himself nearing his end all too quickly once again. It surprised him to find himself nearing his end once again, never-ending waves of pleasure washing over him with every stroke of his cock and every thrust of his fingers inside of himself.
“Fuck,” he whined out, “Oh fuck, please, God so,” he gasped as he ran his thumb over the head of his cock, his hips jerking wildly up into the movement, “so fucking good!” He curled his fingers inside of himself, tugging and hooking himself open for only a moment so the camera could see, his fingers moved back to quickly stroking along the inside of him, forcing needy whines from him. Another donation came through.
SudsNSkulls has donated $500: Such a good boy for us, aren’t you? Cum again for us
Roach gave a loud moan and his back arched off the bed as another orgasm was ripped from his body.
Roach took several moments to come down from his high. He slowly moved his hands away from himself, giving a low whine at the empty feeling that came from pulling his fingers out of his clenching hole. He just laid on his bed for several moments, taking deep calming breaths as all of his faculties returned to him. That low buzz that had been under his skin was finally gone and now he felt bone tired. He still had a stream to do though. He started to push himself to tiredly sit up fully, ready to grab his bottle of water and the rag he’d set out for himself. Another donation came through.
SudsNSkulls has donated $300: God you’re gorgeous
Despite the fact that these two random people had just instructed him to fuck himself and cum twice, the words felt somehow intimate. Like whoever they were, they meant them. It made his face glow a bright red and he was quick to dart off camera, taking several calming breaths as he wiped himself down and put back on his shirt from earlier. He grabbed his bottle of water and gave himself an extra moment before shyly climbing back onto the bed to fix the camera with an almost embarrassed smile.
“I um,” he ran a hand over the back of his neck, “I hope that was okay for everyone.” As expected, his demure little attitude had chat losing their minds, constant praise scrolling over the screen. He slowly let himself lean back against the pillows then, taking little sips from his water bottle. Now was the part of the stream where he would just talk with his chat for a bit. He’d learned fairly quickly that sticking around to have a conversation with his chat fostered an environment where his viewers could feel closer to him. There was something he had to do first. “Um, also before I forget,” he flushed red, and this time his shy energy was real, “SudsNSkulls, thank you guys for all of the donations, though,” he tugged at his shirt nervously, “You guys certainly don’t have to donate so much. It’s only one hundred for a request and fifty for a regular message.” He tucked his knee’s up to his chest and gave a smile to the camera, “I really don’t need so much money.”
He moved to talking with his chat then, answering random questions that they gave him and telling simple stories about his day. It was as he was chatting about his plans for the next day's regular stream that another final donation came in from his new mysterious viewer.
SudsNSkulls has donated $200: What if we enjoy donating so much money to you? What if we’re trying to spoil you? If it keeps your attention on us, it’s worth it.
Roach had gone delightfully red once again.
“And that's yet another carried victory for one Paul Jackson,” Roach teased his friend, watching with a grin as the animation of their characters loading onto the plane played through.
“Fuck you!” Jackson called playfully. Roach couldn’t help but laugh when, a moment later, the game labeled his character as the “survivor” of their group. “And fuck this game too!”
“I just want to know how it's possible that you died to a guy with a starter pistol in circle four,” Logan joined in on his teasing quickly, poking fun at their mutual friend who had died a total of four times over the course of the entire match. A donation came through.
probablylikesixducks has donated $10: Jackson has a specialty guys, it’s not his fault that it happens to be dying
Roach couldn’t help but snort at the message, covering his face for several moments to laugh before reading it out to Jackson and Logan. “Hey!” Jackson called with a gasp, “Who sent that? I’m finding you and I’m blocking you on everything, I don’t care.”
“Don’t be mean to my chat, dude.”
“Me? Mean to your chat??” Jackson yelped, “I’m being actively bullied but apparently I’m the mean one?”
“Yes,” both Roach and Logan responded at the same time, sending them both into a fit of laughter as Jackson called out how much he hated them both, though they all knew it wasn’t the truth.
After finally getting control of his laughter again, Roach began to quickly look over and change his weapons specifics before clicking to launch them into another match. He turned his attention to his chat as they searched for a match, giving himself a few moments to just speak with his viewers. “Do I have a favorite operator?” Roach shrugged, “I like uh, the one with the mask is pretty cool, his voice is just…incredible. But like he’s tied with the Scottish one because the Scottish one is handsome and his voice is just as good in my opinion.” He turned back to his screen briefly with an embarrassed chuckle, “That’s why I swap between them, I can’t choose just one. If I could play both of them at once, I would.”
“If Roach could take both of them at once he would too.” Jackson started with a teasing lilt, “And I don’t mean in a fight.” Roach could feel his face heating up, but he only gave a nervous laugh at the man’s teasing words before continuing to look over chat.
missiridescent has donated $10: Okay, can we talk about the dono from yesterday's stream? Moneybags much?
“Thank you for the $10 missiridescent,” he felt himself blush red at the reminder of the mystery donator from the previous stream. They hadn’t sent anything else after the one donation that had practically made him malfunction while live. He had hardly been able to speak properly during the last part of his stream and, when he’d finally signed off and called Jackson, all his friend could do was laugh at him. Even now he could hear Jackson snickering in his ear. “Yeah, they were super generous,” he gave the camera a smile, “We get lots of one-time donators on the spicy stream though, so it’s not likely we’ll see too much more of them. I doubt they’ll stick around long enough for us to justify talking about them too much.”
“How much did they donate,” Logan asked carefully, “You know I’ve got a hot boyfriend of my own so I can’t watch my friend fuck himself like Jackson can.”
Roach gave a laugh, “Yeah, cause you’re fucking your dad’s best friend.”
“Co-worker,” Logan corrected quickly, his voice high, “And he’s like way younger than my dad, okay!”
“Not judging,” Roach held his hands up carefully, “No one’s boyfriend can be as bad as Allen’s.”
“Russian creep,” Jackson agreed quickly. “One of these days he’ll break up with him for good and we’ll never have to see the fucker again.”
Roach snorted, “Yeah, well, they’ll probably elope before that happens.” He shook his head before finally answering Logan, “In total, it was like over 4k that they donated over the course of the stream.”
Logan let out a low whistle, “They must have really liked you then.”
Roach squirmed in his seat for a moment, guilt creeping up his spine, “I guess,” he ran a hand along his desk nervously, “It just makes me nervous when people donate so much. Like, what if they can’t afford it? What if they didn’t mean to donate all of that? What if they were drunk or something?” He gave a deep sigh, tugging at his shirt as he did.
“You can’t control that stuff,” Logan commented easily, “If they fucked up, they fucked up. That’s their deal, not yours.”
“Gotta agree with Logan on this one,” Jackson spoke quickly, “That’s their thing to deal with if they did that.”
Roach looked nervously at his chat to see that most of his chat was agreeing with what his friends were saying. It still didn’t make him fully relax, but it did help him to focus as another game began in front of him. He just needed to take his mind off of what happened and get himself back on track.
“Oh shit,” Roach watched Jackson’s character go down in front of him, a sniper in another building delivering two quick shots to his friend’s character and sending him to the gulag.
“Try to win this Gulag,” Roach teased with a laugh, “Logan and I don’t have the money to bring you back right now.”
“You think I won’t- oh.”
“You lost didn’t you?”
“Maybe.”
Roach shook his head, a fond smile on his face as his character poked out of the building that he was in fairly quickly, allowing him to spot the sniper's scope. He pulled his own sniper out, preparing himself to pull a rather risky quick scope move. He was fairly good at these types of things though, and most of the time it ended with him winning.
Just as he started to move his character out, a donation came through. He glanced at it for only a moment before doing a double take, his eyes wide as he stared at the number that flashed across his chat screen. Chat was going crazy, and even as his character was easily killed on the screen in front of him, Roach felt frozen in place, his mouth dropped open in shock.
SudsNSkulls has donated $4,000: We can afford it and we definitely meant to donate that much. Here is this just to prove it. Trust us, we’ll be here from here on out.
Roach continued staring frozen at the donation, his face going bright red as his character was also easily killed in the gulag behind him. He felt like he was going to melt into his seat, heat prickling the back of his neck. Another donation came through.
SudsNSkulls has donated $500: God, you’re adorable
Roach ended his stream in a panic.
#gary roach sanderson#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#paul jackson#kyle gaz garrick#logan walker#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#soap x roach#ghost x roach#soaproach#ghostroach#ghostroachsoap#call of duty#streamer au#camboy au
145 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'm really curious about why you don't like freeing Orpheus, actually. Most people I see talking about this choice always does it
from a meta pov, pretty much anything that's good for the githyanki is going to be absolutely terrible for every other sapient species in the realms. they're (mostly) space faring fascists, raiders, and slavers with little to no regard for any life but their own. vlaakith is an evil tyrant, but her biggest pre-occupation is her own power and immortality, which means she culls her own strongest warriors - orpheus would see those warriors put to better use. after all, mother gith intended to conquer all planes of existence after defeating the illithid empire. with that in mind, i personally don't see an incentive to free orpheus at all unless i was playing gith or romancing lae'zel. i think i would have found the choice more compelling/difficult if perhaps the emperor did somehow betray you or turn out to be much shadier than he was, or if we saw a different (non-lae'zel) side to the githyanki that was anything but "it's slaughterin' time" and industrial strength racism. i found the writing a tiny bit lacking in terms of making it a tough or interesting choice.
from my main tav's pov, who may or may not be *ahem* easily swayed by the emperor, it's a nonsensical choice from every conceivable angle. firstly, every single gith bar maybe lae'zel and to a less extent voss has been wildly antagonist, from slaughtering refugees/fists/civilians indiscriminately, to hunting the relic, to the purification fuckery - all of it just awful, terrible, etc. there is absolutely no way on god's green earth he'd even think for a second to was a good idea to betray the person who has demonstrably been 1) protecting the gang and 2) working with the gang towards a mutual goal, just to free some fuckin random dude you've heard nothing but vague propaganda about (from both sides). a free orpheus might help, or he might just kill everyone like his kin have been doing the whole game. he might help, and we all get squidded anyway because something happens to him. like, the emperor is right there and has been "trustworthy" thus far, so why take the risk? evil insane space frogs oppressing each other is NOT his business, no matter how much he loves lae'zel. that's my main tav's thinking, anyway.
of course none of this is to say it's wrong or bad to free orpheus or to favour that choice, it's really just a matter of preference in the end.
#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#the new tav i just made may or may not romance baezel so i'll probably do a free orphy run for them#i got to the orpheus plot point in the story in my first PT and was like free him? why would i do that? and kept trucking lmao#still stole the hammer tho. got to get that disney villain showdown with raphybaby
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
In Your Dreams
Moodboard by @softhecreator
Epilogue
AO3 info one two three four five six seven epilogue
All my work is 18+.
He says, “Ooh, baby girl, you know we’re gonna be legends. I’m the king and you’re the queen and we will stumble through heaven.”- Halsey, Young Gods
“No way,” Lea’s younger sister, Ari, screeched over the phone. “I’m getting on a plane to New York right now—”
“You’ll do no such thing,” their older sister, Lina, cut in firmly. “You’ll stay in California. Your semester is starting soon.”
“I figured he was an Otherworlder,” Ari continued as if Lina hadn’t spoken, “like, obviously, look at his face, but an incubus, oh my god—”
“It’s really not as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be,” Lea said into the phone, which was currently on the dining room table of Lina’s apartment, with Sam, her best friend since childhood, and Lina—who liked to think of herself as the family’s voice of reason—seated around it.
“It sure sounds like a big deal,” Sam countered. “I didn’t know incubuses had mates that they, like, had to feed from or they’d die.”
“I didn’t, either,” Lea said.
At the same time, Lina interjected with, “It’s incubi, not incubuses.”
Ari groaned. “Don’t be such a know-it-all, Lina. Now is so not the time.”
“Yeah, Lina,” Sam snarked playfully, sticking her tongue out at the older girl.
“Are you guys not freaking out?” Ari demanded shrilly. “How are you guys not freaking out? Lea is the mate of a movie star who is also apparently a fuckin’ sex demon, and he will literally die without her, and oh yeah, let’s not forget, she’s also pregnant with his demon spawn!”
Lea groaned miserably, burying her face in her arms. “Don’t call it demon spawn,” she pleaded.
“Why not?” Ari demanded. “That’s what it is! He’s a demon, you’re carrying his spawn—“
“You’re embarrassing her,” Lina scolded.
“Maybe you should be at least a little embarrassed,” Sam pointed out. “Not about who you’re dating, ‘cause that’s dope and you’ve got bragging rights—“
“I don’t have bragging rights,” Lea muttered. “That would be weird, plus it’d draw attention to us both.”
Sam, however, continued on as if Lea hadn’t spoken at all. “—But ‘cause you’re pregnant at twenty years old, Lea, for fuck’s sake—“
“I didn’t exactly plan it,” Lea snapped. “I figured my birth control would work just fine!”
“Shoulda had him pull out, girl,” Ari chimes in. “Always have the dude pull out.”
“How is it fair that you lost your virginity before I did?” Sam whined. “He must be, like, so good, too—”
“Oooooo, yeah!” Ari exclaimed, clearly excited. “Tell us how he was! Spill, bitch!”
“I do not want to hear this,” Lina said, grimacing in distaste.
“Two against one,” Sam declared without hesitation, raising her eyebrows at Lea expectantly.
Lea fidgeted awkwardly. “He was, uh… good, yeah. Very good.”
“Yeah, no shit,” Ari said dryly. “I could’ve told you that. What else?”
“Like… intense, y’know?”
Sam’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean by intense?”
“He’s, uh…” Lea gulped anxiously. “He’s very grabby. And, like, rough or whatever.”
Lina frowned. “Rough? Does he hurt you?”
“Chill, Lina,” Ari told her flatly. “Good rough or bad rough? Did you like it?”
“I did, yeah,” Lea said quietly, flushing and twisting her hands in her lap.
“Good rough, then,” Ari decided.
Sam stared, perfectly manicured brows furrowed in confusion. “How is there such a thing as rough being good?”
“I’m not explaining sex to you, virgin,” Ari said, and Lea could practically hear her nose in the air.
“Hey—”
“Oh my god, who cares?” Lina groaned. “Lea is pregnant, she’s gonna live forever, don’t you guys wanna talk about that instead of whether or not you’ve had a dick up you?”
“Wait,” Ari cut in, “what’s his dick like?”
“Big, I’m guessing, ‘cause he’s a freakin’ sex demon,” theorized Sam.
“Well, yes,” Lea admitted, examining her hands and trying her best not to picture the barbels along the length of her boyfriend’s shaft.
“I know that voice,” Sam said suspiciously. “What else is there?”
“W— well, um…”
Even Lina looked interested now, leaning forward. “What is it?”
“He, uh… he has, like. Piercings.”
Sam blanched. “He has piercings on his—”
“No way!” Ari screeched for the second time that afternoon. “Timothée Chalamet has a pierced dick?! For real?!”
“Yeah,” Lea squeaked out, blushing to the roots of her hair.
“What kind?” Ari demanded. “Is it a Prince Albert or something else?”
“What the fuck is that—” Sam squawked, aghast.
“I dunno what they’re called,” Lea admitted, squirming in her seat. “He’s got these, like, metal bar… things… in there.”
“More than one?” Ari gasped. It took a lot to shock Ari.
“Uh. Yeah. There’s a few. Like, three.”
“What does that even feel like?” her younger sister wanted to know.
Lea frowned, pursing her lips. “Normal, I guess?”
“You don’t know what normal is,” Ari insisted impatiently. “Can you feel it?”
“Uh… yeah?”
“Okay,” Lina finally said, “I’m gonna need you guys to stop right there before I throw up.”
“It’s not our fault you’re a prude—“ Sam whined, displeased at having her eavesdropping interrupted.
“Some of us actually like dick and wanna hear about this—“ Ari was saying.
“Too bad,” Lina said firmly. “Have your dick discussion in earshot of someone who isn’t me.”
After several beats of silence, Ari decided, “Okay. Lea, your homework is to draw a picture of what it looks like. I want detailed photorealism here.”
“W— what—?!” Lea sputtered out in horrified shock. Sam was nodding with a determined expression on her face while Lina looked like she had smelled something particularly distasteful.
“It’s important,” Ari insisted.
“Uh, no,” Lea said firmly. “Not gonna be doing that. Nope.”
“Oh, come on,” Ari whined.
Just then, a text came in.
Tim
When will you be home again ? I miss you so much and I really really need to be inside you, if you come home I’ll make you cum at least four times before I even fuck you and then…
Sam squealed with delight, grabbing for Lea’s phone. Thankfully, Lea was fairly used to this sort of thing and intercepted the movement, to which her friend pouted.
“What, what happened?” Ari demanded.
“Timothée sent an obscene text to your sister,” Lina declared as if the three of them didn’t have the same parents.
“Ooooo, what’s it say?”
“I dunno, she won’t let me see!”
“Okay,” Lea cut in, “I’m gonna go home.”
“Yeah, so your demon boyfriend can bang you again, like you aren’t already pregnant—”
Lea’s face flamed. “Shut up, Sam, oh my god.”
“Lea,” Ari cut in, her voice sounding halfway between excited and desperate, “do the drawing! Send it to me! It’s for science!”
“No!“
“I missed you so much,” Tim groaned against her neck, having pinned her against the entryway wall as soon as she locked the door to the apartment.
“That doesn’t warrant essentially sexting me while I’m meeting with my sister and best friend!”
“Couldn’t help it,” he muttered. “I don’t even have any naked pictures of you, y’know. I must compensate by seeing you naked in person as much as physically possible.”
He was kissing her neck and fondling her breasts, and, well. When he was doing that, she couldn’t exactly argue with him, now could she?
“Where do you want me?” Lea breathed.
“That’s my good girl,” he growled. “Right here, baby. Gonna fuck you against the wall. Would you like that?”
Nodding eagerly, she wrapped her legs around his waist when he hoisted her up.
“So greedy,” he chuckled. “Gotta get your panties off first, don’t I?”
“I want it now,” she whined.
“Patience, sweetheart,” Tim scolded gently. “I promised you four orgasms before I fucked you.”
“I want your dick in me way more than I want orgasms,” she insisted with a rapid shake of her head.
He laughed outright at that. “Fuck, I love you. Okay. Whatever you want, baby. Let’s get your panties off.”
It felt like an eternity before he was sliding into her, but when he finally did, only then did it feel like she was home.
“You didn’t know you’d get pregnant?” Nicole asked, shocked.
Lea was sitting at a table in Tim’s parents’ house—the one he’d bought them fairly recently—with Sam and Lina for moral support in a discussion with her boyfriend’s—should she call him that when they were literally destined to be together for the rest of time?—mother and sister. Not that either woman was unpleasant, it was more that the topic was stressful.
It was weird being around Nicole, because she looked like she wasn’t any older than Lea herself was.
“Uh… no.”
Pauline stared at her in disbelief. “How did you not know?”
“Well,” Lea hedged, “there’s a lot of stuff about incubi that’s not really… common knowledge, so…”
“But he didn’t tell you?” Nicole persisted.
At this, Lina frowned and turned her gaze on her sister. “Yeah, why wouldn’t he tell you?” she asked, suspicion etched clearly onto her face.
“We didn’t discuss actually…” She wrung her hands anxiously. “When he told me what he was, he didn’t explain too much about what would happen if we— if I agreed. And then when he woke up, I didn’t think to ask.”
“And you didn’t know that hormonal birth control doesn’t work with Otherworlders?” Pauline clarified, eyebrows raised.
Lea shook her head, embarrassed. “I… I guess I never thought about it. Before I met Tim, I’d never known any others, really. Not well, anyway. Just kinda in passing, y’know?”
“What about Grace Robertson?” Sam asked, referencing a girl they’d gone to high school with. “Everybody said she was fae.”
“She wasn’t,” Lina said, her tone flat.
“How do you know?” Sam demanded, annoyed at being corrected.
Lina shrugged. “I dated her the summer after I graduated. Not a fae, she’s just like that.”
“There must’ve been some secretive ones, at the very least,” Nicole mused thoughtfully.
“No clue,” Sam admitted. “There’s not exactly a huge Otherworlder population on the North Carolina coast.”
“So…” Pauline began thoughtfully, but her mother cut her off.
“Where are you wanting to raise the baby?” Nicole asked.
Lea blinked, startled. “I… don’t know?”
“You should consider getting a few different houses,” Nicole explained. “Children need a great deal of space, and Timothée’s traveling constantly.” She waved a hand dismissively, as if this was somewhat of an annoyance to her. “With regard to what you should expect, he doesn’t know, as pregnancies aren’t terribly common, but it’s important you’re aware.” She fixed Lea with a look that was somewhere between amusement and sympathy. “He will be an absolute nightmare the entire time.”
Lea’s eyes widened. “W— what? Why? How?”
“He’ll enjoy that you are carrying his child,” Nicole began, the other four women listening with wife-eyed fascination—and mild disgust on the part of Lina and Pauline—as she explained. “He will want to feed off of you almost constantly—“ Lea choked at this, unused to such a pragmatic discussion of sex, but Nicole didn’t seem to notice, continuing, “—and then he will feel terribly guilty for making you tired as a result of feeding off of you. He will be ridiculously overprotective and will not want you to do anything at all, which I found particularly annoying.” She rolled her eyes at what Lea presumed was a memory. “For your sake, I hope he’s not having to do any work over the course of your pregnancy. He’ll be even worse then.”
Lea frowned. “Should I just… stay with my mom during it?”
Nicole’s eyes widened and she shook her head firmly. “No. He’d lose his mind if you did that.”
Sighing, Lea wrung her hands in her lap. “It sounds like he’ll be awful to be around,” she admitted.
“There are some upsides,” Nicole told her. “He’ll go out of his way to make you happy—even more so than normal—and will want to do things for you. He’ll be very excited for the baby, as well. It’s not so bad, overall. Neither of my pregnancies were particularly difficult; it generally isn’t too bad for the human mate.”
“Is there any, uh…” Lea gulped anxiously. “Weird demon-y stuff I should expect?”
Nicole shook her head. “The baby will be a normal human until they come into their inheritance in early adulthood. That usually happens around seventeen to eighteen.” After a moment, Nicole clapped brightly. “Now then! Let’s discuss what sort of house you’d like here in New York.”
Nicole, as it turned out, was correct.
Tim was a total nightmare.
“Lea, sweetheart,” he was attempting to placate, “we need a minimum of six houses.”
“We do not!” she insisted shrilly.
“I’m in Europe all the time,” he explained gently, “and I want you and our daughter to have a stable home no matter where we are—“
“You don’t even know if it’s a girl,” she groaned for the bazillionth time.
“I want a girl that looks just like you,” he reminded her. “And don’t change the subject. We need multiple houses.”
“It’s excessive,” Lea informed him. “It’s an unnecessary expense.”
“It’s completely necessary,” he corrected her, “and it’s not like I can’t afford it. What’s the big deal?”
Lea threw her hands up in exasperation. “Alright, alright!” She grabbed her purse and made to leave the apartment.
“Where are you going?” he asked, concern evident in his voice.
“To get some coffee.”
“W— what?” he sputtered. “Lea, sweetheart, you’re pregnant, you can’t have caffeine!”
“I can have a small amount a day.”
“Says who?!” he demanded.
“The doctor, Tim!” she finally snapped. “God, you’re driving me crazy!”
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, sounding sheepish. “I just… I love you so much, and I worry about you.”
Lea sighed, turning to face him with her arms crossed. “I know. I love you, too. Just… just try and let up a little bit, okay? I know you just wanna help and take care of me and stuff, but stressing me out isn’t gonna help me or the baby.”
“Okay,” he agreed. “How can I help you de-stress?” Then he perked up, a thought occurring to him. “I can think of a few ways, actually.”
She snorted. “I’m sure you can. Why don’t you come with me to get coffee instead?”
Tim grinned brightly at that, taking her hand and leading her out the door.
She was surprised when he took her hand, threading their fingers together.
“Aren’t you worried about people seeing?”
He shrugged. “You’re my mate and the mother of my child. They’re gonna find out at some point. I don’t see any reason to hide it, really.”
Lea frowned as they made their way out of his building. “You haven’t even told anyone what you are.”
“No one’s ever asked, to be fair,” he pointed out.
“Well, it’s rude to ask someone you don’t know,” she reminded him, “and anyone who does know you wouldn’t say anything.”
He hummed. “Lots of Otherworlders have mates, though. And I think most people kinda assume I’m something, anyway.”
“That’s certainly true,” she agreed.
“Our usual place?” he asked as they made their way out onto the sidewalk, the breeze ruffling the hemline of her pink Ciao Lucia sundress. When Lea nodded, he changed the subject with a smile. “Have you decided on a name yet?”
She laughed. “I’m only a few weeks along!”
He grinned down at her. “So? It’s best we decide these things as soon as possible; I’m planning on getting a house for us not too far outside the city as soon as I can—I considered doing it while you were out for winter break, but you’d be five months along, and I don’t want you going through a move when you’re that far along—so we’ll be fine on that. The sooner you make decisions about the baby, though, the better.”
They went into the coffee shop and got in line. He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her in close to his side. She leaned her head against him, inhaling his scent.
The cashier stuttered throughout the process of taking their order, looking at Tim as if he were a ghost.
Once they’d ordered, they stepped back to stand against the walls of the coffee shop, nestling in close together.
“Excuse me,” came a tentative voice to their side.
They both turned to look at the girl who’d spoken. Lea blinked. “Uh… hi?”
The girl’s eyes widened, as if she hadn’t noticed Lea was there. “H— hi,” she stuttered out before looking back at Tim. “I’m so sorry to bother you, but if it’s not too much trouble, could I have a picture?”
Tim smiled politely. “Of course!” He pulled his arm away from Lea. “Can you take it, sweetheart?”
When she heard the endearment, the girl’s eyes got even wider, if that were possible. She didn’t say anything about it, though, giving her phone to Lea with a small smile.
Lea smiled back, snapping a picture of Tim with the girl, who thanked him profusely before leaving.
As it turned out, paparazzi had managed to get a bunch of pictures of them. They hadn’t even been out that long, but Tim had kissed her on the way back. Even if he hadn’t, though, the arm he had around her waist was telling enough.
There was what amounted to an online manhunt for Lea’s identity, and it didn’t take long at all for her to be located. She privated all her accounts, but she’d gotten plenty of hate already.
Tim flew them down for Thanksgiving. She knew she had to tell her mom about the situation during their visit. There was no way around it.
The house Lea had grown up in was a yellow coastal style home with five bedrooms and a large porch. The front door was, technically speaking, on the second floor, but this was not uncommon for houses built right on the beach. The living room, kitchen, and dining room were all on the third floor, as was the small guest bedroom.
Directly to the left of the front door was the master bedroom, which was occupied by the only full-time resident of the house: Lea’s mother, Rosalie. Ahead of the front door, on either side, were two bedrooms connected by a shared bathroom. Each one was decently sized and had access to the balcony, so Ari and Lina were quite content with the rooms. To the right of the front door were the stairs to the third floor, and next to the stairs were a door that, if opened, led downstairs to Lea’s bedroom.
Lea liked it because she had an entire floor to herself, complete with her own bathroom and a private entrance. Her room may not be as big as her sisters’, but the privacy more than made up for it.
This privacy, she knew, would be absolutely essential with Tim there. He’d offered to get them a hotel suite, but Lea had insisted that for his first visit as her boyfriend and father of her child, it was important they stay with her mom.
Lea had told her mom she was bringing a guest. She knew Rosalie was assuming that the guest was Sam, who would, of course, stay in the guest room.
Lea was not looking forward to telling her mom about Tim. Rosalie did not like or trust men, and she would be very upset indeed about Lea getting knocked up by an incubus.
“Mom?” Lea called as she shut the door behind her. Tim had just popped up behind her in his customary black smoke, suitcases in tow.
“Upstairs!” called Rosalie.
Lea stepped inside hesitantly, gesturing for Tim to leave their luggage in the entryway. She didn’t think her mom would disallow them from staying, but she wasn’t sure how welcome they’d be after Lea broke the news to her.
Neither of her sisters had gotten there yet, so it was just her and Tim. “My room is down there,” she told him quietly, pointing at the door to the right of the stairs. “C’mon. If she explodes, she explodes.”
“Do you really think she’ll be mad?” he asked. She could hear the frown in his voice.
Lea snorted derisively. “Oh, yeah. Definitely. More at you than me, most likely.”
“At least there’s that,” he hummed. “None of this is your fault, after all.”
“In the kitchen, honey,” her mother called out as they reached the top of the stairs and turned the corner towards the kitchen. “I figured you and your guest would like something to dri— oh!” she cut herself off with a gasp when she saw who Lea was with.
Rosalie Blanchard was nearly fifty. Like her daughters, she had brown eyes and curly red hair, though it was graying at her temples now. She wore it in a bun at the base of her neck.
“Who’s your guest?” she asked, her voice as tight as the curls she kept pinned to her scalp.
“Mom,” Lea began, “this is Tim. He’s my boyfriend.”
Rosalie’s lips pursed. “Your boyfriend.”
Lea nodded, and Tim stepped forward with a somewhat sheepish smile. “Hi, Mrs. Blanchard. I’m Timothée. Or Tim, whatever.”
“Hello,” she greeted stiffly.
“Tim,” Lea said brightly, “would you go take our bags to my room, please?”
“The door next to the stairs, right?” he clarified.
Lea nodded, and he squeezed her hand encouragingly as he went back down the stairs. She knew he’d give her and her mom space as she explained the situation.
“You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend.”
Lea winced. “I wanted to tell you in person.”
“Is he good to you?”
“He’s wonderful, Mom,” Lea said quietly. “I love him very much.”
Rosalie’s eyes widened. “You love him?”
Lea nodded. “We should sit down.”
Rosalie looked scared now, swiftly crossing towards the living room and settling into a chair. Lea sat on the couch kitty corner from her.
“What’s going on?” her mom demanded in a voice that indicated she really, really didn’t want to know the answer.
“What do you know about incubi?” Lea asked after several tense heats of silence.
Rosalie’s eyes widened further. “Is… is that boy one?”
Lea nodded. “Yes. I’m his mate.”
Her mom shook her head rapidly. “No, you’re not. You can’t be.”
“That was my initial reaction, too,” she agreed, nodding. “I am, though. That birthmark I have, the one of the eight pointed star? It’s a symbol of a mate.”
Rosalie shook her head more. “It can’t be. Your sisters have the same one.”
“I know, yeah. I’m trying to figure out how to break that news to them,” Lea admitted with a wince. “But that doesn’t matter right now. I need to tell you about Tim.”
“Is he gonna come back up?”
Lea shook her head. “Not until I call him.”
“How long have you been with him?”
Lea twisted her hands in her lap anxiously. “Remember when I had to cancel my last visit during the summer?” When her mom nodded, she went on, “It was because I’d found out what I am to him. He was… he was very sick. He needed me.”
“Sick? I didn’t even know Otherworlders got sick.”
“Well…” Lea grimaced, trying to think of how to word what she needed to say. “You know what incubi feed off of, I’m sure.”
Rosalie made a face like she’d smelled something especially unpleasant. “I’m trying not to think about it.”
Lea looked down at her hands, still twisting anxiously in her lap. “Well… we met, you see, and we became friends. I didn’t want to have feelings for him, so when they developed, I just ignored them. But then…” She took a deep breath. “He wasn’t going to tell me. He just wanted to see me beforehand. One last time, he said. But he looked so sick, Mom.” She looked up at Rosalie then, trying to convey how strongly she felt about Tim, how scared she’d been. “I made him tell me what was going on.”
“What, exactly, was going on?” her mom asked slowly.
“He can’t feed from anyone but me now that we’ve met,” she murmured, looking away and flushing to the roots of her hair. “He was going to starve. He almost did.”
“And he never told you?”
Lea shook her head. “He knew I didn’t want a relationship with anyone, so he didn’t tell me. He said he didn’t want me to feel like it was my fault.”
Her mom hummed thoughtfully at this. “That was good of him.”
“I know.” Tears came to her eyes at the memory of how close to death he’d been. “He almost died because of me, Mom. He would’ve died if I hadn’t accepted him.”
“But you did,” Rosalie observed.
Lea nodded. “I did, yeah. I love him. I’m happy with him.”
“Aren’t incubi immortal?” Rosalie asked shakily.
Lea nodded.
“How old is he, then? He looked to be not much older than you, but if he’s immortal…”
“We don’t know how old he is,” Lea admitted quietly. “He mentioned the Fall of Troy at one point.”
“So he’s over three thousand years old, then?!”
Lea shrugged. “At least that, yeah. Probably more.”
“You aren’t even twenty-one yet!” her mother snapped. “Besides, isn’t he sucking your life force away?”
She shook her head at that. “No, Mom. He lengthens my life, actually. If I’m with him, I could potentially just… never die.”
Her mother blinked at her. “Oh.”
Lea wrung her hands. “There’s something else.”
Rosalie tensed. “What else could there possibly be?”
“Well,” Lea began hesitantly, “there was a bit of a miscommunication, you see. When we… y’know…” Her mom winced, but she continued, “he had reason to believe I knew that hormonal birth control doesn’t work on Otherworlders. So we weren’t using anything other than that, and as a result…”
“You’re pregnant.” It was a statement of fact rather than a question.
Lea nodded. “I’m keeping it.”
“How in the hell do you plan on affording a baby, Amelie Juliana?” Rosalie demanded, using Lea’s full name the way she did when she was especially angry.
Lea hesitated. “Well… Tim can afford it.”
“He can, can he?” Rosalie scoffed.
“I know you’re not big into pop culture, Mom,” Lea began, “but Tim is an actor.”
Rosalie rolled her eyes. “Actors are just another brand of starving artists.”
Lea shook her head. “He’s not a small-time actor. He’s been in major blockbusters. He has plenty of money for us. He refuses to let me work, actually. Not that I’d want to anyway, but still.”
“I’ll believe that when I see it,” Rosalie griped. “Alright.” She sighed. “Bring this boy of yours up.”
Lea nodded. “Tim!” she called.
He appeared in a puff of black smoke. Rosalie jolted.
“You told her, I take it?”
Lea nodded. “I explained everything.”
Rosalie stood then, striding over to Tim and completely ignoring the fact that he towered over her. “You got my daughter pregnant,” she accused, her voice sharp.
“I did,” he confirmed.
“Are you going to take care of her and the baby?”
“She’s my mate,” he explained. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.”
Rosalie pursed her lips, looking Tim up and down. She took a step closer to him, and he blinked down at her. “I don’t care who you are or what you are. If you hurt Lea, you’ll never see the light of day again.”
“Mom,” Lea groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“I won’t hurt her,” Tim promised gently, glancing back at Lea.
Rosalie nodded, finally taking a step back. “Well then. I’m going to the store. Hopefully they’re not out of turkeys yet.”
Ten minutes later, he had her pressed up against the wall of her childhood bedroom as he kissed her neck and hiked her blue Burberry miniskirt up her thighs.
“This is a nice room,” he muttered against her skin. “Can I fuck you in it?”
Lea giggled mindlessly, snaking her hands up around his neck.
“I’d be insulted if you didn’t, actually.”
An hour and a half later, Lea was passed out—naked, which was how he preferred her—in his arms. It would be at least another hour or two before she’d rested enough to wake up.
Then, he heard the front door open from the floor above them.
“Lea!” a voice he didn’t recognize called, though it was slightly muffled. “Where’s your boytoy?”
Tim extracted himself from Lea’s embrace and quickly pulled a pair of sweatpants out of his suitcase and yanking his t-shirt from before over his head.
He gave Lea a swift kiss on the forehead and left the room as quietly as he could. Taking the stairs two at a time, he smiled at the pair of women. One he recognized as Lea’s older sister, Lina, and the other, he figured was her younger sister, Ari, whom he hadn’t met.
“Hello,” he greeted politely. Both girls looked so much like Lea—and her mother, too, if he were honest—that it was startling. They had the same curly red hair, the same dark eyes. They were even of a similar stature. “Nice to see you again, Lina.” Then he turned to the younger of the two. “You’re Ari, right? I’m Timothée.”
Ari stared up at him with wide eyes. Lina merely pursed her lips, unimpressed and asked, “Where’s Lea?”
“Taking a nap,” Tim explained. “She’s very worn out.”
“From an hour long flight?” Lina asked skeptically, an eyebrow raised.
“Errrrrr…” Tim grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably.
Finally snapping out of her trance, Ari rolled her eyes and stepped forward, hand outstretched. “Nice to meet you, Timothée. Lea’s told me a lot about you.”
“All good things, I hope,” he remarked with a good-natured smile.
Both girls opened their mouths to respond, but whatever they would’ve said was preempted by the front door opening again. Rosalie stepped through, carrying several bags of groceries.
Tim immediately rushed over to take them from her. “Here, let me get those. Are there more?”
The woman nodded once, then said, “Girls, unpack these, if you would.”
When Lea woke up a couple of hours later, she was surprised to find that Tim had successfully charmed her mother and sisters.
“I dunno how you did that,” she admitted that evening as he climbed into the shower behind her. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen my mom smile at a guy before. She doesn’t even let Ari bring home anyone.”
“Dunno,” Tim said with a shrug, leaning his head forward to wet his hair. “All I did was help with the groceries and cooking and whatnot.”
She leaned back against his chest with a grin. “Maybe they just could tell how much I love you and decided to give you a chance.”
He hummed, wrapping his arms around her waist, one hand on her barely protruding stomach.
“They kept asking about the baby, y’know.”
Lea smiled. “And what did you tell them?”
“That you’re fifteen weeks along and refuse to accept that it’s a girl.”
Laughing, she turned slightly so as to kiss him. “We don’t know what it is yet. It could be a girl.”
He hummed. “We’ll have more either way.”
“Yeah?” She leaned up to kiss him again.
“Mhm,” he confirmed. “Ideally, you’ll be pregnant a fair amount of the time.” He trailed his hands up her torso to cup her breasts, teasing her sensitive nipples.
“Tim,” she said breathlessly, arching into his touch, “can I suck your dick? Please?”
“Fuck,” he groaned, squeezing her breasts roughly. “Anything for you, baby. Anything you want.”
She turned around and sank to her knees without hesitation, completely disregarding the shower beating down on her. She was unable to resist him long enough to even tease him before she took him into her mouth. His hand found her hair, and he guided her up and down his length, the barbels catching on her lower lip.
“Such a good girl,” he moaned. “Suck me so well, baby. Make me feel so good.” He was watching her, and she knew from the red in his eyes that he was feeding from her, too. Excited by the thought of this, she reached between her legs and started rubbing her clit. “Oh, fuck, Lea,” he said hoarsely. “Are you touching yourself, sweetheart?”
“Mhm,” she hummed around him, moaning softly.
“Like sucking my cock that much, huh?”
She moaned again, eager for more of him.
“Like that, baby,” he groaned, the hand in her hair clenching. “Suck it like that, fuck. Good girl. Such a good little slut, all for me.”
She rubbed her clit faster, loving how he talked to her.
“You gonna make yourself cum for me, baby?” he demanded. “You gonna cum with my cock in that pretty little mouth of yours?”
She moaned mindlessly around him, wishing he’d pin her down and fuck her, right there in the bathtub with the shower running.
“That’s it,” Tim encouraged. “Make yourself cum, sweetheart. Such a good little slut for me, aren’t you? Getting off on sucking my cock.” When she did nothing but moan, her hips rocking into her hand, he continued, “C’mon, baby. Cum for me.”
She moaned again, this time long and loud, and the vibrations must’ve been too much, because he spilled into her mouth.
She was dazed as he pulled her up, kissing her slowly, leisurely. She kisses him back, leaning into him as she did.
“C’mon, love,” he told her gently, “let’s get you clean and into bed, okay?”
“Mmkay,” she mumbled sleepily, her eyes drooping.
He washed her hair and body, keeping it surprisingly nonsexual—for the most part, anyway; he hadn’t been able to stop himself from squeezing her breasts as he lathered them with soap—before quickly bathing himself, too, and then drying them both off. He settled her into bed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her naked body close against his own.
“Wait,” she mumbled against his chest. “Did’ya lock the doors?”
“‘Course I did, baby,” he told her with a gentle kiss on her forehead.
“Top of the stairs, back door, and bedroom?” she clarified.
“Mhm,” he confirmed. “Sleep, Lea.”
“Mkay,” she mumbled, nestling in closer to him. “Love you.”
He tightened his arms around her. “I love you, too, sweetheart.”
“You mad it turned out to be a boy?” Lea asked, glancing up at Tim from where she was bottle feeding their newborn son in their bed.
He settled down beside her. “No,” he promised with a smile. “I’d’ve been happy with anything. You know that.” After a pause, he added, “Besides, it’s not like we can’t have more.”
“Lea,” Tim said one day after she had put Theo down for a nap in the nursery they’d set up at their French estate, “why haven’t we gotten married?”
Lea froze in her tracks, blinking up at him in disbelief. “Uh… because you haven’t asked me?”
He stared down at her. “Oh. Alright, then.”
Approximately a month later, Tim took her out to dinner at Guy Savoy in Paris. He had rented out a private dining room for them, the way he usually did, and when he got down on one knee and told her that if he could’ve crafted the perfect mate for himself, he would’ve made her just as she was, she teared up. When he told her that as far as he was concerned, she already was his wife and that they just needed to make it official in the eyes of the law, she cried, nodding eagerly.
He slid the ring on her finger, and then he’d insisted upon finding a bathroom to fuck her in.
She’d needed some coffee after that.
As it turned out, Tim had several cousins. Shockingly, Ari and Lina turned out to be the mates of two of them.
Lina in particular was skeptical of this, concerned that her Mark indicated that she’d end up bound to a man, an incubus, but it turned out to be a succubus.
Ari, on the other hand, had zero issues with the whole thing.
Sam fell in love with a fae who was friends with Tim, who regularly gave her nectar to keep her from aging, and Lea’s mom insisted upon being turned into a vampire, refusing to leave her daughters behind.
It eventually got out that Tim was an incubus. He hid it for a very long time, but nothing remains a secret forever. By that point, however, it was quite clear that he wasn’t human; humans aren’t in the public eye for several hundred years without aging, after all. Still, he generally didn’t discuss his personal life, and that suited Lea just fine. No matter how long things went on, no matter how many lifetimes she lived, she never really got used to the idea of publicly being the wife of a celebrity.
Not that people weren’t aware, of course. She attended events with him and everything, he just wouldn’t discuss their relationship.
They had a lot of kids. Not all at once, or course. Their first five were in rather quick succession—over the course of eighteen years, if one could count that as quick—and then they waited a good long while to have more. But after awhile, when all five children were grown with lives of their own, he convinced her to let him get her pregnant again.
Family reunions were very hectic indeed. Eventually, Tim had to purchase what Lea insisted was a palace. To be fair, a house—though referring to such a large estate as a house was more than a bit of a stretch—of that size was a necessity if they were to house their entire family—their children, descendants, and relatives—at once.
“Oh, goddammit,” she muttered as she stared at the results of the pregnancy test.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” came Tim’s voice. He’d only just strode into the room.
Irritated by his apparent inability to control his jizz, she tossed the test at him.
He caught it without thinking, fumbling with it for a moment before examining what she’d thrown at him. He looked up at her with wide, shocked eyes, a grin slowly splitting his face. “Again?”
“Yes, Timothée,” she snapped. “Again. Learn to control yourself, for fuck’s sake! We have great-great grandchildren!”
He pouted, almost whining when he said, “It’s not my fault! You’re just so sexy, you don’t look nearly old enough to warrant adult children, after all, let alone anything beyond that—“
“No,” she told him slowly, “the issue is you’re a glutton.”
He frowned outright then. “Do you… do you not want it…?”
She pursed her lips, turning around and going towards her closet. “I didn’t say that.”
He wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on top of her head. “I’m sorry. I honestly don’t mean to. I just… I love you so much, y’know?”
Lea put her hand over his, lacing their fingers together. “Yeah, Tim. I know.” She sighed. “I love you, too.”
“Does that mean you’re keeping it?”
Lea snorted softly. “Of course I’m keeping it, stupid. It’s ours; yours and mine.”
“You’re mine,” he murmured, tilting her head up so as to kiss her.
She smiled against his lips, threading her fingers through his hair. “And you’re mine.”
Tag list
@ellamaianderson @shika1200 @blackqueenstarseed1 @gatoenlaciudad @esmaada @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @softhecreator @timolaurence @timmymyluv @oddlyenoughiamweird @leecrunchybones @s-we-e-t-t-ea @almostg @leespparker @bubblebuttwade @glizzymcguirex @starberry-cake
To be added, please ask 💗
#my writing#fanfiction#fanfic#Timothée Chalamet#timothée chalamet x oc#timothée chalamet x original character#timothée chalamet fanfiction#timothée chalamet fanfic#incubus timothée chalamet#timothée fanfic#timothée#timothee fanfic#timothee#timothee chalamet x oc#timothee chalamet fanfiction#timothee chalamet#timothee chalamet x original character#original character#original female character#ofc#fem oc#fem! OC#fem!oc#OC#RPF#actor rpf#real person fanfic#real person fic#real person fiction#real person fanfiction
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
enjolras & marius?
yeahhHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!
enjolras:
-he has a really bad fingernail biting problem. they've been reduced down to stubs and he chews at his cuticles too. it's a mixture of stress and a habit he had as a kid that his parents never really noticed to correct. he's been doing it for 25 years, so it feels impossible for him to stop
-he also has hella cowlicks. im projecting bc i do too but it's so difficult for him to find a hairstyle that works because there's always a piece jutting out of place. in canon era he normally just tries to hide this with a hat and in modern era this man does not give a fuck at all. dude has the most insane hair just because he lets it stick up in its natural positions
-modern era enjolras is a pickles/olives friend. he loves briney stuff and picks them off of combeferre and courfeyrac's foods when they dont want them. he relishes in snacks like that and pickles his own stuff. it's a new hobby he just picked up and now his fridge is full of various pickled things
-he's a sagittarius sun, leo moon, taurus rising (just for funsies)
-enjolras's closet is full of muted colors. he wears very bland clothing but people don't tend to notice because they're focused on him himself. it drives some of his fashion-focused friends up the fuckin wall because they'll hear someone go "he's just so wonderfully attractive- that waistcoat looked so good" and whatever bullshit and they wanna scream because it's the most boring piece of clothing in reality
marius:
-idk how many times i need to push this onto my mariuses, but he loves miniatures. whether that be making little ships in canon era or planes in modern era, this guy loves miniatures. he also likes to unwind by watching videos of people making miniature scaled rooms. it's something he wants to get into, on top of the planes and such. something in his brain is such sooooooo scratched by tiny versions of big things
-he has a large birthmark on the back of his shoulder. honestly he forgets it's there until he's shirtless and someone is like "woah dude" just out of surprise. cosette likes tracing the shape of it when she can't sleep and just wants to relax
-modern era marius smokes weed for the first time with courfeyrac and enjolras when he's like 23. he's been raised with this very negative view of weed in general bc he's been scared into thinking it's like fucking meth. anyway this dude takes maybe 2 good hits off a pipe and is outrageously high (it happens). dude just ends up on the floor watching cooking videos for like two hours before falling asleep there. he doesn't smoke much after that
-he also has hyperactive sweat gland disorder. in canon era he struggles a lot with sweat stains because some days it goes through several layers and is visible. he likes to wear a lot of dark clothing because it's less noticeable on those days
-canon era marius tries sketching out his friends faces after everything. he tries really hard to remember and get it down so he never forgets. when he's unable to draw particularly well or cant get a feature right, it kinda breaks him. he just wants to get what courfeyrac looked like down on paper, but he's just not that artistically skilled to do it. it gets worse when he starts forgetting what his features were. there are a lot of stress-induced breakdowns with marius surrounded by crumpled sheets of paper and smudged charcoal on his hands
#kind of a mood killer at the end#sorry about that#TY FOR THE ASK! these 2 are like gerbils i wanna put in my hands and just Observe#les mis#les miserables#les amis#les amis de l'abc#enjolras#marius pontmercy#tw death mention
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
you guys get some propoganda over here too <3 vote trouble trio in @original-character-championship !
Jupiter: Guys, come back! My juicy ass needs to be on the plane!
because they have lots of incorrect quotes :]
Minerva: Eat a giant pile of-
Jupiter: -Shit, fucking ass! Fuck-
Minerva: -shUT THE FUCK UP.
Jupiter: I hate it when motherfuckers a-soon shit.
Minerva: When they WHAT.
Jupiter: A-soon shit without knowing all the facts!
Jupiter, jokingly: Atticus isn't real, he's a figment of our imagination.
Minerva: Yesterday, he was talking about eating a bee.
Minerva: A live bee.
Atticus: It was a hypothetical!
Jupiter: Average Atticus activities.
Jupiter: Oh, you fucking asshole!
Minerva: You unbelievable cuckmonster.
Jupiter: You fucking dick!
Atticus: What do you mean, what did I do?!
Minerva and Jupiter: [boo-ing]
Atticus: I don't deserve this hate!
Minerva: Get out of any phone call with this one trick!
Minerva, on the phone: OH MY GOD- [plays various car crash and explosion noises into the speaker]
Atticus: Y'all like "I wanna die" like a broken record but a buncha clowns come over wanting to kill you and you're all shitting your pants. Hypocrites you are.
Jupiter: The day I let a fuckin bozo stab me to death is the day I die, pal.
Minerva: Well, yeah, that's how being stabbed to death works.
Jupiter: Don't make fun of me dude what if a girl sees this-
Jupiter: I'm either saying thank you or fuck you, I can't decide which one-
Atticus: You're trying to thank-fuck me?! That's not a fuck style!
Jupiter: Oh, fuck you! Thank you!
Atticus: Thank-fuck you!
#[totally correct]#incorrect quotes#[soliloqueue]#[the trouble trio]#doubt ill ever use that tag again lol
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
SO ABOUT THAT OT8 RED LIGHTS...
Like first of all, the audacity, just in general. And specifically the audacity of Chan, to write the song, deny he wrote the song, perform THAT -in front of his FAMILY no less- and then talk about how it's embarrassing to perform a sexy concept like that with the whole group. Like SIR you didn't just make this bed, you bought it at Ikea and assembled it by hand.
Han doing the lift, please
But MOST OF ALL, Changbin's voice. That low register...just...oh my god. I did not think I could be down worse for that man but here I am. That voice just bypasses my ears entirely and heads to other regions. I felt a little bad at the concert about how rabid I was getting but there were literally thousands of people shrieking even louder than me so at least I had backup. I DEMAND more low vocal solos for that man because holy shit.
Also he did his lil one handed flip and idk why I find that so attractive. He's just so fuckin...physical and...meaty...I want to chomp him. I could see from my nosebleed seat that he has the hardest working pants in the industry because there was not a CENTIMETER of extra room around those thighs. Just wanna get my teeth in there ONCE, and I don't think that's too much too ask.
🎉
NOT IKEA— i laughed so hard i cried 💀 yeah chan has a lot of fuckin nerve smh
don’t get me starting on ji, i will go on for WEEKS. not even specifically about this. just in general. i sent my mom a ton of pics of him earlier while we were on the phone cause she asked why i was crying and i told her i wanna put him in my pocket—
honestly 🎉 live your best feral life. i know i’m gonna become unhinged come july. my bestie scored us tickets to atl as an early birthday gift (hey bestie if you’re reading this i love you 😭❤️). i KNOW neither of us are going to walk out of that venue alive (or at least mentally well 🥴). she biases changbin (right now anyways. she’s an ot8 stan and right now bin is her mans) and he’s my wrecker so like…don’t make me think about this 💀
look i have never really been into the super muscular type (at least not until i got into kpop where they’re still super pretty and not “rugged” like the firefighters my mom loses her shit over 🥴 cause my taste in men is dudes who can rock skirts) but something about how fuckin BEEFY he is— screaming but the s is silent. the back pic he shared??? i met god. i still think about the workout video DAILY. the day that man goes tits out (or all of them go tits out as a collective 👀 that would be a concept) is the day i ascend from this plane of existence. i, too, want to bite him. i bet he’d moan real pretty in response—
just ONE chance, god, i’m begging you
#kpop smut#kpop hard hours#kpop hard thoughts#stray kids#stray kids smut#stray kids hard hours#stray kids hard thoughts#stray kids changbin#changbin#changbin smut#changbin hard thoughts#changbin hard hours#anon ask#🎉anon#i need you to know i suffered greatly while thinking about all that
54 notes
·
View notes
Note
FOR PLUTO:
how long did the maze took yall to build it?? ( like costume the warehouse as the backrooms ) ALSO what's the metrical of the exit door?? I swear it's important question
and since Byte/Error doesn't like physical touch, do u like- just hold her hand while yall sleep or do u just hold one of her fingers??
Pluto: Wh-
Pluto: okay who are you people? Where do keep coming from??
Pluto: And how do you know about the-
Slash: dude the maze took so goddamn long you have no idea
Pluto: Oh my god.
Pluto: I think it took us…about 5 years and a month??
Byte: We spent weeks just trying to map it out.
Slash: And trying to figure out how to keep people from running around when we weren’t there.
Pluto: We spent almost as many weeks watching engineering videos to figure out how to make the spikes even work.
Byte: The spikes definitely were the hardest part.
Byte: Painting and building the walls took the longest, but it wasn’t really that hard. Just time-consuming.
Byte: And we had to repair the catwalks, and the lights, and the fans…
Pluto: Yeah, Byte was amazing when we started the repairs. Her strings made it so much easier to get up to the fuckin’ things.
Byte, snickering: And then we only half-assed fixed things because the other two got scared of being so high up
Slash: You could’ve gone up there, yknow.
Byte: I was fixing the catwalks!
Byte, elbowing Slash: Which neither of you wanted to do because you were too afraid they’d break underneath you and you’d break your necks.
Pluto, with mock-offense: Which was a valid concern considering that almost happened before we actually started with them! Twice!
Slash, laughing: Man, the look on your face that one time-
Pluto, pouting: Eat knives
Byte: …Hey, how big is the door?
Slash: I…don’t know?
Slash: We just kinda…cut a hole. In one of the actual doors.
Byte: Yeeah. So the warehouse’s exterior doors are all the same big ass heavy rolling doors, kinda like garage doors?
Byte: Normally there’s some heavy machinery that opens them and shit, but uh. It doesn’t work anymore.
Byte: And even if it had it was all on the inside, so we couldn’t have gotten to it when we first found it, so.
Byte: We just kinda eyeballed it? It’s roughly the same sized as normal door.
Pluto, grinning: Why don’t you come visit the maze and see for yourself how big the door is?
Slash, also grinning: We can show you all our hard work, too!
Byte, also grinning: We could even give you the genuine Backrooms Maze experience, if you wanted.
[A paper airplane smacks Slash in the face. Ah, the dangers of being tall.]
Slash: Hey, the fuck??
Slash, picking it up: …Is there something written on this?
Slash, unfolding the plane: “and since Byte/Error doesn’t like…” ok wait hold on
Pluto, reading over her shoulder: …Am I the only one who finds it weird that this person is asking how we sleep?
Byte: excuse me??
Slash: Yeah no this feels weird
Pluto: Do we…have to answer this stuff? Where are these even coming from? Who are these people?
Byte, coming over to read: Why do they know so much about us, too?
Byte: I don’t like this
(In their defense, it would be kinda weird. It’s okay though; they’re just extra suspicious of strangers. To answer your question, Byte’s comfy enough with Slash and Pluto that she’s perfectly fine cuddling with them. With those two specifically, it’s mostly unexpected touch, or physical contact when stressed. Cuddling’s fine though! She just is always on the outside of the cuddle pile)
#Ask Horror Dreamswap#horror!ds#h!ds slash#h!ds pluto#h!ds byte#This got SO long dear god#I had to alternate between this and helping mom find some FUCKING stickbugs in animal crossing#evasive little shits#this is why I did not promise speed!
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
It’s funny to me that 2p0 (and most of fandom tbh) takes Jensen’s "I guess I could see interpreting it like that” re: platonic Destiel as a conformation of platonic Destiel - imo it’s the opposite. When actors on other shows are asked if it’s fair to interpret their character and another character as being gay and in love, they get torn apart for saying things like "I guess I could see interpreting it like that”, aka a polite “no I don’t really think of it that way but you can continue to have the space to ship that if you want”. Essentially, I feel like Jensen is trying to politely disagree with a platonic interpretation, but because fandom operates in bad faith they automatically assume he agrees Destiel is platonic, when in every other circumstance those words would have been understood to be in disagreement with the original question asked.
Yeah like. if you actually look at the quote and understand how human beings communicate, rather than try to devil's advocate an agenda through it without understanding social codes and whatnot the way 2po does, it's incredibly telling. I GUESS YOU COULD. That itself is implicit "I don't, but you can!" but that just whistled over his head like the jackshit idiot he is, and he figures if he narrates over it loud enough and attaches enough manipulative anchor text, his spin of it becomes a reality, and that's just not how the world works, not how people work, not how communication works, it's just.
Same way 2po and a large quarter of fandom went selectively deaf/dumb/blind about what Jensen said on stage, when he kept asking "That moment? Specifically that moment? Because I have two answers, one in that moment, where I would have X, [fandom stops listening at this exact point] in that specific moment. and then another one on the next shot. [jensen never clarifies]" (cut for length)
These people don't care what these other human beings are actually communicating. They care about how they can exploit it into an agenda. And, unfortunately, the other show operating in a manipulated bubble for 15 years gave them the impression they can do this infinitely, rather than a show that was designed to sprint for the goal so hard Robbie and Jensen got told to calm the fuck down. It's a 13 episode run, not 15 years, dude, you guys can't spin this forever.
Hell. Look at how he tried to spin "HAHA PEOPLE ARE WRONG ITS HEAVEN" when like. Yeah we know, dipthong. I've been reblogging my heaven meta this was designed on all year, but most specifically in the last 2 weeks, but somehow you missed that and thought I said purgatory because you can't track the way mental planes work in this fuckin' show for shit.
Or him assuming I said Destiel would happen every year, which is the opposite, while I took years of harassment from hellers for trying to tell people to respect Berens efforts (which 2po denied, and got hellers attacking Berens during) even knowing we probably would never see full resolution, that he was trying, hence the market testing (which 2po denied). Then suddenly at a very specific SDCC 2po was oblivious to the events of (proven by his getting hysterical about robobo memes, not realizing we already knew about his real boyfriend who visited the private panel with him), I suddenly changed my fucking tune to "berens is running the ball, we're getting at least an ILU, he's streaking naked across the field until security tackles him. With the right roll of the dice we can do anything." which 2po denied. Then Berens wrote it verbatim. Then he ran the ball. Then ILU. Then we got the wrong roll of the dice and covid boned us from four angles, and security did indeed tackle the naked berens running the ball.
Then a year later you all found out it was the first thing they wrote on the season and thus most of the plot orbited around it and it was berens' prime goal and, per him, his entire reason to stay. Which really just. Bundles alllll of 2po's denials before that together into a comical ball that just got double tapped straight through. GEE. I WONDER WHY I CHANGED MY TUNE JUST BEFORE SEASON 15. ITS A MYSTERY, BRAIN.
Which is when we got the butchered omitted finale (which 2po denied, and paid 5k of other people's money to be wrong on) which removed the roadhouse reunions and more (which 2po denied until Dabb tweeted it), and so on.
People like 2po, and the segments of fandom that listen to his consecutively wrong, made up, quantum tunnel of just-as-badly twice-interpreted M&Gs, just say/hear what they want to hear. They will aggressively rekit dialogues, erase context, delete basic realities, or just outright plug their ears and act like either they didn't hear it or they don't understand basic social codes. It's one or the other, and whichever it is, it's never going to make them a reliable leaker or speccer. Because you're not listening to what's actually being said or happening, you're taking one puzzle piece and trying to cram it in the wrong hole to make the picture you want it to make, rather than the picture it's painting.
Gee isn't it funny that Jensen magically had a second new opinion in the exact shot I've been telling everyone he broke and fell into the trashcan during since Dec 2020, along which the can't move on, let go, and other prequel, johnmary, show structure & morals and destiel leaks started flowing. Gee I wonder what that means brain.
like bro one of us had friends design an unofficial panel berens showed up to and took notes from before spilling all the season 15 tea and asking for me by name. The other person has been screaming wrongly into tumblr aggressively for about 5 years. And hoping everyone forgets the fails. SPOT the FUCKING DIFFERENCE.
#2p0 shut up challenge.#seriously dude#read it slowly without trying to win#then delete yourself#just digitally#cuz i worry if you keep doubling down#the end result you'll do worse than digital#save yourself
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
In Yellowsuccess do you think Kendall ever did coke with Travis trying to get along and show he's not like other billionaires
Omg YES. Plus he'd try to (in his mind) subtly needle him about what he and Shiv and the rest did to survive.
"Yo, I just wanna, like, thank you? For having Shiv’s back out there."
"Sure, man."
"No, seriously bro: thank you."
"Hey man, she had my back as much I had hers."
"Oh, I bet. I mean, I don’t know much. She doesn't tell us shit. Like, we're all flying blind trying to figure out, y'know, just what she went through, how deep the trauma goes...so we can figure out how best to help her, y'know?"
"...okay."
"Look, man. I'm not gonna bullshit you. I'm not that guy. I know you think I’m that guy, but I'm not."
"Right."
"But I really need to know what happened, dude. For Shiv. She acts like she has it all together, but she's living on the edge, right?"
"Hm."
"Look, I'm not an asshole. I mean, I am, but I'm, like, not the kind of asshole you think I am. Okay? Like I'm not going to fuck you and fuck you finding work and get cops to pull you over, okay? I'm not like that."
"Obviously."
"But I could, y'know? Like, you can't know anything for sure. You survived the wilderness, man, but you know what you’re dealing with out there."
"You think so?"
"Look, all I'm saying is, you don't know how to survive us, our tribe. We're all pretty goddamn unknowable, even to people who've made it to the limit. But I want to help you, Travis, I do. Yeah, I can destroy you, fuckin', grind you into the mud and fuck your corpse, but I can also be your fuckin' Surviving Capitalism Messiah, man. You want to make it with Shiv, get my dad off your back, maybe make some real fucking money? I can help you navigate those waters, Trav. 'Cause it can get choppy all on your own. I can make it happen for you. I'm your corporate Santa. But I cannot fly blind. So will you be fuckin' straight with me? Tell me, man. Tell me."
"...You really wanna know? Everything?"
"Hey, I need to know. For Shiv, for all of us."
"Okay. *snorts up the rest of the coke, stands up and looks Ken straight in the eye* "The truth is...the plane crashed. A bunch of our friends died. The rest of us starved, scavenged, and prayed until they finally found us. Thanks for the coke, Ken."
#yellowsuccess#kendall roy#travis martinez#shiv roy#succession#yellowjackets#shivtrav#bleeding to death everything's fine#i got unexpectedly busy so it might be a bit til ch 6 comes out so hope this can help make up for it
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
🎮🤔🎲
one-handed man cant decide how hes going to blow 80 bucks losing on a friday
🎮 - What’s their favorite game?
brütal legend
fucking brütal legend
every single fucking time i have ever contemplated this question its brütal legend cuz of fucking course it is shits just like this relentless goofy celebration of metal and rebellion and blowing things up and hitting shit with an axe
hell my profile header is like the rise of ormagöden from the lore of that game
🤔 - What’s something they’ll never understand?
capitalism
shit just sucks dude i dunno what to tell you
some fuckin uppity smegball of a dude in an armani jacket and all the accessories his plane magazine told him were in fashion goes around like demanding he get a bunch of cash for work he isnt doing in places he never shows up by people he doesnt know is just fuckin dumb
ceos and board of directors and all those other parasitic chucklefucks just dont need to exist and its weird the like primary timeline earth hasnt gone 'hold on you fuckers literally ruin everything and nobody would be sad if you were dead' and thrown a riot to get rid of em all
dice ones random so 💓 - What are some signs they’ve fallen for someone? How do they show their affection?
okay i might seem like my only means of social interaction are punches and headbutts and cussing a lot but if i like actually wanna smooch someone i will gather every ounce of the femme in my futch and actually pull some classic romantic crap
whether thats making them something beautiful by hand and admitting i want them in my life in a quiet and gentle voice or taking them for a long walk down a secluded path and serenading them over a picnic or showing up in something revealing and fluttering my eyelashes while i flirt kinda depends on like the vibe of the relationship in the first place but like im pretty sure im good at making it obvious
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Metal Gear Mania Day: 11
That new game feeeeling man MGS:4 is a lovely breath of fresh air after peacewalker’s frustrating crunch I re did the math and it turned out i had one more day than I thought so i probably didn’t need to go as hard on peacewalker but id honestly rather have 4 days with MGS:4 than an extra day with peacewalker. at time of writing I’ve just completed the first act and and mission briefing on the little plane and I really like this game i probably should’ve gotten farther but I forgot to save and had to go do stuff so I had to get up to the first frog fight twice essentially not that busted up about it. A lot of stuff seems to have happened between MGS:2 and now and I’m sure they’ll elaborate on it eventually and they tell you enough as of now to get it its mainly some how question that quite honestly would probably be wasted time to explain talking with a friend about it he said this was Kojima with his most clout and I’m inclined to agree its got a lot of his particular sense of humor ranging from the good end of actually making me think this monkey was about to talk when meeting drebin who rules to the very bad end namely this dude who refuses to stop shitting and farting and somehow still works for Meryl who it was nice to see. This game feels sad aside from the obvious of snake being old as shit it seems that emotionally he’s in a lot worse place than he was in MGS:2 and that pretty sad, last thing to touch on is the opening of the game where they show you a little nature doc of an octopus with some ticker stuff and my ass was enthralled with marine life as usual and didnt notice till towards the end that on all the maps and the ticker were horrible wars and atrocities so yeah the media cycle fuckin fooled my ass and distracted me from the horrors of war as a business full admission
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
xblitzkriegx
lost girl ▲
cherrygirl--01
RAWMANCE
mit0bee
Meloraa
yourhopelessintrovert
Valar Morghulis
memeinstein13
Untitled