#fuck if i know what drove me to make this
Note
please i'm begging you (please don't feel pressured if your life is busy 💕) we need pt 2 to the angst i can't handle this 😭 my heart 💔 the writing is too good that i'm feeling things 😓
was i stupid to love you?
★ : summary :: when he downplays your feelings
★ : feat :: max verstappen, lewis hamilton, carlos sainz, charles leclerc, lando norris
★ : genre :: angst; hurt/comfort
★ : word count :: 2.9k
★ : a/n :: open ending, don't forget to vote after so i can get a bit of feedback :3 kinda rushed so might contain lots of typos sorryyyy!!
( part 1 )
Charles Leclerc
The house party buzzed with music and laughter, a cacophony that drowned your thoughts as you stormed through the crowded rooms. Your heart raced with a mix of anger and hurt, knowing Charles was right on your tail, determined to catch you before you could reach Arthur.
Your boyfriend’s hand wrapped around yours just as his brother turned around to look at you guys. You stomped your feet as you shook your head to dismiss Arthur and follow your boyfriend who quietly kissed your head in gratitude before you could step away.
”What is going on with you?!” Your voice trembled with barely contained fury as you confronted Charles in a quieter corner.
Charles sighed, his brow furrowing in frustration. ”I don’t know, baby. I’m so sorry—”
”You told me off when you should know that I’m right!” Your voice rose involuntarily. ”She fucking leaned in thinking that you were gonna choose her.”
”Y/N, please listen to me,” Charles said earnestly, stepping closer to you. ”I messed up. I know. But I would, never in a hundred years, choose anyone let alone her over you.”
You looked into Charles' eyes, seeing the sincerity and pain reflected in them. Your anger began to melt, replaced by a swirl of conflicting emotions.
”You’re just saying what I want to hear and I don't like it,” you said, your voice softer now, searching for clarity.
”It’s the truth,” Charles declared, his voice tinged with regret. ”I know I’ve hurt you baby and I'm sorry for that but I can’t— I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I watched you leave with my brother. Let me drop you home, okay?”
Tears welled up in your eyes, frustration and hurt mixing with the love you still felt for him. Charles gently took your hands in his, his touch warm and comforting.
”Y/N, please,” Charles pleaded, his voice raw with emotion. ”I never want to make you feel like you need to run away from me. I want to talk this out, please give me a chance to make things right.”
You hesitated, feeling torn between wanting to forgive him and the pain of betrayal still fresh in your heart.
”Okay,” you finally whispered, feeling emotionally drained. ”Let's go.”
Charles nodded, relief washing over his face. He led you out of the noisy party, his grip on your hand tight and reassuring. The cool night air outside provided a stark contrast to the heated emotions inside.
As Charles drove you home, neither of you spoke. The silence was filled with unspoken words and the weight of what had just transpired. But Charles kept stealing glances at you, his eyes full of regret and love.
When you arrived at your shared apartment, Charles parked the car but made no move to get out. He turned to you, his expression soft and vulnerable.
”I'll leave if you want me to,” Charles said quietly, his voice tinged with sorrow. ”But please, Y/N, give us a chance to talk tomorrow. I'll do whatever it takes to make this right.”
You looked at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes and the love that still lingered despite everything. Tears fell down your cheeks as you nodded slowly.
”I need time,” you admitted softly, your voice barely audible. ”Time to sort through this.”
Charles nodded understandingly, reaching out to gently wipe away your tears. ”Take all the time you need,” he said softly, his thumb caressing your cheek. ”I'll be here, whenever you're ready.”
”Where will you go?” You asked, not wanting to leave just yet.
”To your brother’s house,” he joked and smiled cheekily when you let out a small laugh.
”I love you,” Charles continued and seemed satisfied when you saw your tinted cheeks, giving into the temptation to kiss your hand. ”I’ll stay at Arthur's for the night.”
With that, you stepped out of the car, your heart heavy with conflicting emotions. You watched Charles drive away, feeling the distance between you both but knowing that perhaps, with time, you could find a way back to each other.
Lando Norris
You sat in the break room at work, your lunch untouched in front of you. The memories of last night’s events still stung, the image of her hand on Lando’s thigh and the lipstick on his collar replaying in your mind.
Just as you were about to take a sip of water, the door swung open, and there he was, your— ex? —boyfriend, looking desperate and determined. You knew there was a possibility he’d try to catch you at work given that you’d taken away all other means.
”Y/N, can I please?” he said, his voice pleading as he pointed towards the hallway.
You nodded reluctantly and led him to an empty hall, away from prying eyes. The silence was deafening as you stood there, waiting for him to speak.
You nodded reluctantly and led him to an empty conference room, away from prying eyes. The silence was deafening as you stood there, waiting for him to speak.
”Y/N, please,” he started, his voice trembling slightly. ”I’m so sorry about last night.”
You crossed your arms, leaning against the table. ”Bet you had a good time, huh?”
”No, I didn't,” Lando said in disbelief before he took a deep breath, trying to keep his composure. ”Nothing that happened there was intentional. We were all drinking, and she... she got too close. I should have pushed her away. I’m sorry.”
You scoffed, anger bubbling up again, finally fired up enough to speak your mind. ”Her hand was on your fucking thigh, Lando. And your collar— her lipstick was all over it. How do you explain that?”
He winced, clearly pained by the memory. ”I know it looks bad, but it wasn’t what it seemed. She leaned in close to talk to me, and I didn’t realize she had left a mark. It was a— just a stupid mistake, and I should have been more aware.”
”More aware?” you echoed, your voice rising. ”You should have cared about how it would make me feel! Instead, you shrugged it off like it was nothing.”
”I didn’t mean to shrug it off,” he said, stepping closer. ”I was wrong. I should have reassured you, should have shown you that you’re the only one that matters to me. Baby, please just let me—”
You looked away, the pain still fresh. ”It’s not just about the lipstick or her hand. It’s about how you made me feel like I was overreacting, like my feelings didn’t matter.”
”They do matter,” he said, his voice breaking. ”More than anything. I was an idiot. I should have pushed her away immediately. I should have come to you and told you everything before you saw it for yourself.”
”You know I only want you,” he added softly, his eyes pleading with you.
You shook your head, trying to hold back tears. ”That’s the thing, Lando. I don’t know that. I actually believe that y— you don’t at all.”
Lando’s eyes filled with tears as a broken whisper of your name left his mouth. ”I h.. have never, I never will. Ever.” He stressed. ”Want anyone— need anyone the way I want you.”
You kept quiet as you looked at him trying to catch himself. Lending him your hand that he squeezed in return.
”I can’t believe you would ever believe that but I understand and, I promise… I’ll be more mindful, more respectful. I’ll make sure everyone knows I’m taken, that I’m yours. Please, give me a chance to make it right.”
The weight of his words hung in the air, and you let out a slow breath, trying to not have a breakdown at your workplace. ”It’s going to take time, Lando. Trust isn’t rebuilt overnight.”
”I know,” he said, relief washing over his features. ”And I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I’ll prove to you that I’m worthy of your trust.”
”Okay,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. ”I’ll give it a thought, Lando. But if you hurt me again, we’re done.”
”I understand,” he said, his voice filled with determination. ”Thank you, Y/N. I won’t let you down.”
Max Verstappen
The streets were bustling with late-night revelers, their laughter and chatter a stark contrast to the storm brewing inside you. The restaurant's neon sign flickered as you stepped out into the cool night air, your phone clenched tightly in your hand.
Three hours. You had waited for three hours, hoping Max would show up for your anniversary dinner, only to find out from the story of your mutual friend that he was out with her again.
On your anniversary.
You made your way through the crowded streets, not caring where you ended up. You just needed to get away, to think, to process the hurt and betrayal. Your phone buzzed incessantly in your pocket, but you ignored it. Max's calls and messages could wait. Right now, you needed space.
After wandering aimlessly for a while, you found yourself at the edge of the city, near the river. The quiet contrast of the flowing water was a welcome change from the city's noise. You sat on a bench, pulling your jacket tighter around you as a light drizzle began to fall. The soft patter of rain on the water's surface was soothing, but it didn’t dull the ache in your heart.
Minutes turned into an hour, and the rain intensified. Your phone buzzed again, and this time you glanced at it. Last message from Max was a minute ago
Max: Y/N, please. Where are you? Let me explain. I’m looking for you.
You sighed, wiping away the raindrops mixed with your tears. Your fingers hovered over the screen before you finally typed a reply.
You: By the river. Near the old bridge.
You didn’t know why you told him, but some part of you wanted to hear him out. To understand why he kept doing this. Why would he even waste time with you if he was already in love with someone else?
God. Even the thought of that brought up a real pain in your chest. The rain fell harder, and you huddled under the small awning of a nearby building, trying to stay somewhat dry.
After what felt like an eternity, you saw a figure running towards you through the rain. It was Max, drenched and breathless. He slowed as he approached, his eyes filled with worry and regret. HIs clothes were all over the place, untucked and wrinkled and you only drew the worst conclusion.
”Y/N,” he gasped, stopping a few feet away. ”Thank God, you're okay.”
You stood up, arms crossed defensively. ”You’ve got five minutes, Max. Make it count.”
He nodded, taking a step closer. ”I’m so sorry, Y/N. I know I’ve let you down. I was with her tonight because she’s going through a really rough time. She had no one else to turn to.”
You narrowed your eyes, the skepticism clear. ”On our anniversary? How convenient.”
He flinched at your tone but didn’t back down. ”I know it’s no excuse. I should have told you. I thought I could help her quickly and still make it to dinner. I didn’t realize it would take so long.”
You shook your head, the anger bubbling up again. ”This isn’t the first time, Max. How many times have I had to wonder if she’s really just a friend? How many times have you put her before me?”
Max stepped closer, his eyes pleading. ”I’ve been blind, Y/N. I didn’t see how much I was hurting you. There’s nothing romantic between us. She’s just a friend, and she needed my help. But I see now that I’ve been unfair to you.”
Tears mixed with the rain on your cheeks. ”I don’t know if I can keep doing this, Max. The constant worry, the feeling like I’m not enough. It’s tearing me apart.”
He reached out, tentatively taking your hand. ”You are more than enough, Y/N. I’ve been an idiot, and I’m so sorry. I love you, and I don’t want to lose you.”
You looked into his eyes, searching for any sign of deception. All you saw was sincerity and regret. ”How can I trust you again, Max? What did she even need help with?”
He squeezed your hand gently. ” She saw her ex at the club and he was being an asshole. I just went over for five to put him in his place when one of her friends posted the story. I’m sorry for the delay, baby. I know I should've been more transparent about everything. Just please, give me a chance to make things right.”
”Is she okay?” You took a shaky breath, your heart aching with the desire to believe him and he exhaled when you pulled him under the shit excuse of shelter you had from the rain.
”She’s okay. I promise I won't ever embarrass you this way again, baby. You won’t ever have to sit and wonder if I'm bailing because I found someone else or not.” Max took another deep breath. ”I never will, baby, you are the only one I want. I will never find anyone.”
You closed your eyes, the tears spilling over as you hugged him. ”I wanna go home.”
”Okay let’s go home, baby.” Max gently cupped your face, his thumbs brushing away your tears. ”But I need you to know. You are my priority, Y/N. I’ll never let you feel otherwise again. I love you more than anything, and I’ll spend every day proving it to you.”
You leaned into his touch, feeling a flicker of hope amidst the pain as you hugged him.
He sighed again, closing his eyes to soak in this. ”Happy anniversary, baby. I love you”
You pulled back slightly, looking up at him with a tired smile.
Carlos Sainz
Carlos's pleas had grown quieter, the urgency in his voice replaced with a softness that seemed to seep through the crack under the door.
You could hear his breath hitching, a clear sign that he was on the verge of breaking down himself. But you couldn’t get yourself to stand up as you sat on the bed, knees drawn to your chest, tears still streaming down your face as you tried to block out the sound.
”Y/N, please,” he choked out, and you could hear the tears in his voice now. ”I'm so sorry. I... I don't know what else to say. I can't lose you.”
The sincerity and raw emotion in his voice cut through you in a vicious manner, and against your better judgment, you found yourself getting up. You hesitated for a moment, your hand hovering over the doorknob, before finally opening the door just a crack.
Carlos was standing there, his eyes red and swollen from crying. When he saw you, a look of profound relief washed over his face. ”Thank you,” he whispered.
You stepped back, letting him in. He walked in slowly, as if afraid to invade your space, and you closed the door behind him. The silence was heavy, each second stretching into an eternity.
”I'm so sorry,” Carlos said again, his voice trembling. ”I swear, I didn't know she was going to kiss me. If I had known, I would have never invited her. I would never do anything to hurt you intentionally.”
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your own shaking voice. ”But you did invite her, Carlos. And I told you to cut her off so many times. Why didn't you listen?”
He ran a hand through his hair, looking utterly defeated. ”I thought... I thought we were just friends. I didn't realize she felt that way about me. And when she kissed me, I was so shocked. I— I froze. I'm an idiot. I should have pushed her away immediately.”
”You should have,” you echoed, your voice breaking as you recalled that scene and it felt like someone was physically stabbing you. ”Do you have any idea how much it hurt to see that?”
Carlos stepped closer, his eyes pleading. ”I know, and I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you, Y/N. You're the only one I want to be with.”
You looked down, tears falling onto the floor. ”How do I know that, Carlos? How do I know you won't let this happen again?”
He gently took your hands in his, his touch warm and reassuring. ”Because I can’t ever go through this again. I don’t want to know what it feels like to almost lose you. I'll cut her off completely. I promise you, baby, just, anything— it will never happen again.”
You pulled your hands away, wrapping your arms around yourself protectively. ”It's not just about cutting her off, Carlos. I can never get that image out of my brain now. What if you just wake up tomorrow that you didn’t get rid of her because yo— you…?”
You trailed off but Carlos understood and immediately shook his head. ”No,” he said firmly. ”I will never wake up with anyone other than you in my heart. You’re the one I love, the one I am going to live my life with.”
He didn’t let you speak as he carried on,”I understand. Trust is earned, not given. And I'll do whatever it takes to earn it back. I'll prove to you that you can trust me.”
You sighed, feeling the weight of his words. ”I want to believe you. But it's going to take time. A lot of time.”
”I know,” he said softly. ”And I'm willing to wait. I'll wait as long as it takes for you to trust me again. Just please, don't shut me out. Let me be there for you.”
You looked into his eyes, seeing the genuine remorse and love in them. Despite everything, a part of you still loved him deeply. ”Okay,” you whispered. ”But you have to understand, it's going to be hard. I'm still hurt, and it's going to take a while for me to heal.”
Carlos nodded, a flicker of hope in his eyes. ”I'll be patient. I'll be here for you, no matter what. And I'll do everything I can to make it right.”
”Alright.” You nodded, feeling a glimmer of hope yourself. ”Just... don't make me regret it.”
”I won't,” Carlos stepped closer, tentatively reaching out to wipe a tear from your cheek. ”I love you, Y/N. More than anything.”
You gave him a small as you leaned into his touch, feeling a mix of emotions, ”I love you too, Carlos. That's why this hurts so much.”
He pulled you into a gentle hug, holding you as if you were the most precious thing in the world. ”We'll get through this. Together.”
Lewis Hamilton
You paced around your apartment, the anger and hurt from the argument still fresh. The silence after the exchange with Lewis was deafening. You couldn’t believe he said those things. Your phone buzzed on the couch, but you ignored it, needing space to process.
A knock on your door interrupted your thoughts. It was loud and persistent. You hesitated, hoping it wasn’t who you thought it was.
”Y/N, please open up. I need to talk to you,” Lewis’s voice came through the door, sounding desperate.
You took a deep breath and opened the door. Your boyfriend stood there, looking remorseful.
”What do you want, Lewis?” you asked, your voice cold.
”Can I come in? Please, we need to talk,” he pleaded.
You stepped aside reluctantly, letting him in. He walked into the living room, turning to face you with regret etched on his face.
”I’m sorry, Y/N,” he started, his voice soft as he ran a hand over his face. ”I didn’t mean what I said. I was frustrated— but that’s no excuse.”
”You really hurt me,” you said, crossing your arms defensively knowing you had to support yourself before you start crying again. ”And you were so fucking cruel about it!”
”I know, and I hate that I did that to you,” he replied, his eyes sincere. ”I’ve been spending too much time with her, and I’ve been blind to how it’s been affecting you— us. Affecting us.”
”Why do you keep seeing her then? If she’s just a friend, why does it feel like she’s more important than me?” you demanded, your voice shaking.
”She’s not more important than you,” he said quickly. ”I’ve let the boundaries blur, and I didn’t realize how much it was hurting you. I’m sorry.”
Tears welled up in your eyes, but you blinked them away. This was not what you expected. You were ready for a fight, sure that Lewis would come with his own weapons out but this was undoing you.
”It’s not just about her, Lewis. It’s about us. You’ve been distant, and I feel like I’m losing you.”
Lewis nodded, looking pained and sick. ”You’re not losing me, Y/N. I’ve been an idiot, and I’ve taken you for granted. I want to fix this.”
”How?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. Desperately clinging onto him to make amends because you couldn’t see any in hindsight.
”By being more present, by setting boundaries, and by showing you every day how much you mean to me,” he said, taking your hands in his. ”Please give me a chance to make this right.”
”Words aren’t enough anymore,” you said, looking down at your joined hands.
”I know,” he nodded. ”But I'm willing to go through any lengths, I’ll prove to you that you’re my priority.”
You searched his eyes, seeing the determination and regret. ”I want to trust you,” as your voice cracked, the very first tear fell down your face and Lewis immediately grabbed you as he pulled you to lay your head on his chest.
”I can’t though— I wish I could but I can't get hurt again.”
”I understand and I promise you can shoot me if I hurt you again” he said. ”I love you, Y/N. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.”
You leaned into his embrace, feeling a flicker of hope amidst the pain. ”I love you too.” You felt him take a sigh as he held you tight against his warm body.
”And I need you to understand that my feelings are valid,” you continued as you soaked his shirt with your tears. ”When I tell you something bothers me, I need you to listen and not dismiss it.”
”I promise I’ll listen,” he said, his voice full of sincerity. ”I’ll do better because losing you would end me.”
You took a deep breath, feeling a weight lift slightly. As you stood there in your boyfriend’s arms, you realized that healing would take time but there was no one else you would rather heal with. Though only time could tell what the future held for you.
Oscar Piastri
You closed your eyes as you heard the door of your best friend's apartment being knocked on again. Your mind was a whirlwind of emotions—anger, betrayal, sadness.
You replayed the messages over and over in your head, each one cutting deeper than the last as you contemplated whether letting Oscar in would be a good decision. You finally made the decision when you heard the neighbor’s lock moving.
You pulled him in before they could open their door or call the cops and finally took a look at him. He looked disheveled. His eyes were red from holding unshed tears as they glossed over once he finally took you in.
”Y/N,” Oscar started, moving towards you with open arms. ”Thanks for letting me in.”
”I almost didn't.” You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to keep your voice steady as you stepped away from his open arms. ”But you were waking up the whole damn building.”
Oscar nodded, looking down at the ground. ”I deserve that.” You took a deep breath, desperate to get this over with.
”Why, Oscar? Why did you lie to me?”
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. ”I... I was scared you'd get upset. I thought if I told you the truth, you'd leave me.”
”And now?” you scoffed, your voice rising. ”You think I'm not upset now? You think lying to me makes it any better?”
He stepped closer, his eyes pleading. ”Y/N, I made a mistake. A huge mistake. But nothing happened between me and her, I swear. We were drunk, and she sat on my lap for a picture. It was stupid and irresponsible, but that's all it was.”
You shook your head, tears welling up in your eyes. ”Do you have any idea how that made me feel? Seeing her on your lap after you told me she wasn't even going to be there?”
Oscar reached out to touch your arm, but you stepped back once again and his eyes brimmed with tears. ”Y/N, please. I love you. I was an idiot, but I love you. I need you to believe that.”
You wiped your eyes, trying to compose yourself. ”How can I believe you, Oscar? When I don't even know if you really want me?”
He swallowed hard, his tears finally falling out of his eyes. Oscar looked defeated as if he was fighting a battle already lost.
”Please don’t say that. You’re the only person I want. I'll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back. I'll never lie to you again. I'll be completely honest, even if it's something I think will hurt you. Just... please give me a chance to make it right.”
You looked at him, searching his face for any sign of deception. You saw only earnest regret and a desperate longing for forgiveness. You wanted to believe him, but the hurt was still so raw.
”I don't know if I can,” you whispered. ”You've broken my trust, Oscar. And that's not something you can just fix with words.”
He nodded slowly. ”I know. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I'll go to counseling, I'll give you access to my phone, my social media, anything you need to feel secure. Just please, don’t give up on us.”
You stood in silence for a moment, the weight of the situation heavy in the air. You looked around the dimly lit apartment, as you took a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts.
”Okay,” you said finally. ”I’m willing to discuss this in the morning. But if you lie to me again, if you hurt me again, we're done. Do you understand?”
Oscar's face lit up with a mixture of relief and determination as his chest heaved. ”I understand. I promise you, Y/N, I'll never give you a reason to doubt me again.”
You nodded, as your lips quivered. ”I hope so. Because I don't think I can go through this again.”
He stepped closer, cautiously taking your hand. You allowed it, feeling the warmth of his touch. ”Thank you,” he said softly. ”I won't let you down.”
You stood together, still holding hands. The silence between you was different now—tentative, but with a flicker of understanding. You had a long way to go, but for the first time since those fateful messages, you felt like maybe, just maybe, not all was lost.
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Let The Light In: Part 9
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8
Words: 2K
Pairing: Paige Bueckers/Media Manager! Reader
Warnings: Angst, Friends to enemies to lovers (but the reader doesn’t know why they’re enemies), reader is actually so incredibly in the wrong, slow burn, fluff, suggestive scenes.
A/N: WAR IS OVER!!!! Also, it's finals week and I didn't get off work 'till 11 so this really wasn't supposed to happen but here we are I guess! Gonna have to edit this in the morning cause there's no way in hell I'm going to bed after 6 (apologies, but too many sleep-related sacrifices have already been made tonight.) Also, I might be moving to fast but the angst was getting to me as much as y'all so we can save the heart to heart for later, let them fuck it out first.
To love Paige, you have to truly understand her, and you do, as well as you know the back of your hand. Paige often acts impulsively, leaving you to think things through for her, and the last time you neglected this responsibility, she stopped talking to you for a year. You were never going to make that mistake again, and as a result, everything had meticulously planned everything down to the smallest detail.
As you laid in bed next to her, you had been decided it would be in your best interest, and more importantly in Paige’s best interest, to stay away from her. You had run through a million different scenarios, lived out each and every possible outcome in your mind, and this was the only one that made sense long-term, at least that's what you told yourself.
Truthfully, the timing had worked out perfectly. Paige always got hyper-focused before game days, so your absence hadn’t been noticed. You just had to get through that morning, pretending to be asleep when she had pressed kisses to your cheeks to ‘wake’ you, feigning enthusiasm as she rummaged through your fridge for the ingredients to make the lemon pancakes she "missed so much," and suppressing your tears when you hugged her goodbye, knowing it would be the last time you’d let yourself have her like this. You waved at her with a forced grin as she drove off, and you hadn’t spoken to her since.
When you had to face her again, you had a plan. You had accounted for her coming up to you during halftime; you’d be pleasant, more professional than normal, but not in any noticeable ways. You would just be laying the groundwork for your plan: to slowly drift away.
Paige would never know you had intentionally left her, and the memory of you would be something she could look back upon fondly, an old almost-love-story from her college days.
You hadn’t, however, planned at all for a massive upset, one that would leave Paige practically storming off the court when the fourth-quarter buzzer finally signaled the end of the disastrous game. And you definitely hadn’t planned to receive a call from Ice right after you’d finally wrapped up your work for the night and just tucked yourself into bed. In all honesty, you hadn’t accounted at all for the effect Paige had on you, and your resistance is only so strong.
“Hey, sorry to bother you so late, but is Paige with you?” Ice's voice crackled through the phone, sounding unusually tense. “No, she’s not with me. Why?” The girl on the other end of the line spoke in frantic, hushed tones to someone in the background before finally responding to you, “She hasn’t returned to the dorms since after the presser, we just got back from dinner and we thought she was here, but she’s left her phone in her room and her car is gone. When we realized this we just assumed she'd gone to you.”
Your heart sank. Paige had a tendency to disappear a bit when she didn’t want people to know how she was feeling, but she’d never physically left, normally just opting to shrink in on herself, her smile becoming a little less bright, and her voice piping up fewer and fewer times until she was completely silent, as she would typically remain for the rest of the night, adamantly denying that anything was wrong.
In a knee-jerk reaction, you check her location, silently thanking God for how out of it you had been the days after Paige’s injury, more specifically, that your mutual distress had made you forget to stop sharing your locations. The thanks quickly turned to quiet curses, however, when you see her location displayed atop an outline of her dorm room on the map and Ice’s voice echoed in your mind, “She’s left her phone.” But, before you could close the app, the location of an AirTag speeding rapidly down highway 95 caught your eye. When the two of you had left her car a few nights ago after ice cream, you’d forgotten one of your camera bags, one that had a tag in it.
In the blink of an eye, any former resolve to stay away from the blonde was completely obliterated. You’d never gotten to your car faster.
You couldn't believe you were doing this. After meticulously planning every detail to ensure a seamless, unnoticed exit from Paige's life, you now find yourself racing down the highway at breakneck speeds, chasing a signal from a damn camera bag. You kept your eyes glued to the road, your heart impossibly pounding faster with each mile you covered.
The AirTag's location pinged consistently, a tiny beacon guiding you to her. Your inability to act even vaguely nonchalant about the girl was becoming distressing; any and all thoughts of self-preservation flew out the window as you passed another exit sign. If she were a lighthouse, you’d intentionally steer yourself to crash onto her shores, if just for the sake of being near her.
As the minutes stretched into an eternity, the familiar landscape of a lookout point came into view. You exhaled a shaky breath, memories flooding back of the night Paige had brought you here, when you had fallen asleep in her car and woken up hours later—still in her car—just to give her so much shit about it, dumping all your feelings into the vehicle until there was no room left for hers.
You try to stop your racing thoughts as you pull up next to the blonde’s familiar black car, this isn't about you, this is about Paige. An eerie cloak of silence smothering you immediately as you shut off your engine.
There she was, sitting on the hood, her figure silhouetted against the dusky sky. She looked so small, so fragile, and for a moment, you hesitated. But the thought of leaving her alone like this, of sticking to your plan despite everything, seemed unbearable, and even worse, it felt familiar.
You climb out of your car and approach her slowly. Paige didn’t look up, but you know she is aware of your presence. You stop a few feet away, the cool night air wrapping around you both as you struggle to decide what to do.
“Paige,” you call softly.
She turns her head slightly, her eyes meet yours, the complete and utter relief evident in her expression almost making you stumble back. “What are you doing here?” she finally says, her voice barely a whisper. “Ice called me. Said you were missing,” you explain, taking a tentative step closer. “I realized my bag is still in your trunk, so I followed the location tag.” She nods, turning her attention back to the scene in front of her as a sob racks her body, seemingly out of nowhere.
You hurry to her side, standing in front of her, tucking yourself between her long legs hanging off the car hood. “Love, don’t cry,” the term of endearment passing through your lips before you could think to stop it. She wraps herself around you, ankles locked around your hips, and upper body slouched completely into yours. “I let everyone down tonight.” Her voice came through muffled, her head tucked into your shoulder.
Acting on instinct, your hands move to run through her hair, playing gently with the ends before moving to run across her back in a desperate attempt to be comforting with something other than your words, which always seemed to fail you.
“I’m sorry for running away, I realized when I got here that I should probably have stayed with someone, that I needed to be with you, but I left my phone at home, and it’s a long drive back.” Paige catches you off guard.
‘I needed to be with you.’
‘I needed to be with you.’
‘She needs to be with you.’
Finally, after probably a million mental repetitions, it finally clicked: she needs you. Just because she didn’t always want you, doesn’t mean she hasn’t always needed you. Maybe even in the same way you desperately need her. You feel incredibly stupid, all along, has it really been that damn simple? Definitely not you decide, but right now the girl you love, 'the girl who loves you', is hurting and that's enough to make you push anything aside. That conversation can happen later, right now you're going to be there for Paige. You're going to prove to yourself that it's okay for you to be with her.
You lean down to press a tentative kiss against the corner of her mouth. “I’m always so proud of you, P, you know that?” Another whimper leaves her throat as you begin to speak. “I’ve watched you win a million games and lose a few too, but when I look at you, I always feel the exact same, so proud of everything you’ve done that after some games I’ve had to go sit alone in my office because it felt like my heart was going to give out if I stayed near you.” Her grip tightens around you, “I really love you.” The pang that normally hits your chest at these words felt duller than normal as you respond, “I love you too.”
“Tonight was bad.” She breaks the silence after a while. “It wasn’t great, no, but I know you, and I know you won’t tolerate it happening again.” You reply, your hand still running in soothing circles across her back. “I just got so stressed I have no idea why, and the whole team took the hit, it’s not fair.” Her voice is tight; she is close to tears again as you pull yourself back to look at her.
“Baby, what’s going on, why were you stressed?” A small shrug and diverted gaze are all you get in response. “You looked tired, have you been sleeping alright?” Her breath stutters, eyes finally meeting yours. “I’ve just accepted that now that I can sleep next to you again, I’m not going to fare so well on my own.” She replies before leaning down to press the softest kiss possible against your parted lips, testing the waters.
Once again, she catches you off guard with the reminder of just how mutual your longing has been this whole time. “We can drive home, you can stay with me.” You reply when your lips finally leave hers, god you'd missed that feeling more than Paige will ever know, and you love letting yourself feel it. She gives you a small shake of her head. “I’m too tired to drive all the way back, I booked a motel room for the night when I realized.”
Being completely unable to resist an opportunity to stay close to her seemed to be the theme of the night you decide as you reply, “Okay, baby then let’s go there. I can take care of you there.”
The motel was a nondescript, low-slung building off the highway, its neon sign flickering in the night as you pulled into the parking lot behind Paige’s car.
Once in the room, you turned on a dim bedside lamp, casting a soft glow over the basic furnishings. Paige sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor, waiting to speak until you took a seat beside her, the mattress dipping under your combined weight. Her voice is hesitant, “I know I said I was tired, but I don’t want to go to sleep yet.”
Your brows furrow. “What do you want to do instead, love?” She turns to face you before replying, “I want to not think about that stupid fucking game.”
Your gaze turns to the ancient TV sitting on the dresser beside you. “We could watch something?” You suggest, despite being not entirely convinced the thing was even functional. Her eyes practically roll back into her head, hands moving to cup your cheeks as she mutters, “I want to be distracted, not have a distraction.”
‘Oh.’
Her lips were on yours in an instant. Whatever it is about Paige and kissing you until you couldn’t breathe the second she got you alone in a hotel room would need to be studied further you decide as she moves to push you against the mattress, sinking her body weight onto you. Even if right now this is fueled entirely by her need to forget the night she's had, you’ll take it.
She breaks the kiss. “Is this okay?” ‘She has to be kidding’ you think, some might think the two of you were moving too fast but you know that this has been building up for months if not years. “Paige, this is more than okay.” She grins before tilting your chin up to capture your lips once again.
Her mouth quickly ends up moving down to your neck, planting soft kisses down the base of it before nipping at the skin of your collarbone, most definitely leaving a mark. Your head is spinning; you want her more than anything. You wrap your arms around her, pulling her closer to you before using her new center of gravity to your advantage, flipping the two of you so you are now resting above her.
Her eyes widen in surprise at your new arrangement, hair splayed out on the pillow beneath her, and her lips parted slightly as she looked up at you, anticipating your next move.
Your heart pounds in your chest as you look down at her, her body spread out beneath you. The sight alone is enough to make your mind race with thoughts that can only be described as downright filthy, and with one particularly vivid image of her chest heaving beneath you, you can't stop yourself. “How many baskets did you get tonight, baby?”
Her face twists into something you didn’t recognize, annoyance perhaps? Distress? “You know I only got four, why’d you feel the need to bring that up right now?” She murmurs, her voice sounding almost ashamed despite how shamelessly her hips were rutting up against yours, begging for more friction.
Unable to resist the urge to feel her you lean down to press a sweet kiss against her pouting lips before pulling back to smile down at her again.
“I bet I can make four feel like a lot.”
#paige bueckers x reader#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers#paige buckets#uconn wbb#wcbb#wcbb x reader#wlw#paige bueckers headcannons#paige bueckers fanfiction#uconn huskies#paige bueckers angst#fanfic#angst#wbb#Paige Bueckers x reader smut#paige bueckers smut
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western nights III
pairing: older!trailer park!jj x reader
summary: jj maybank knows he's too old to be messing around with a young girl like you, but he does it anyways
warnings: freudian age gap, smut, some angst because yall can't have it too easy.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭
it was crazy how jj could make you feel so special one moment, and like shit the next. he was an expert at it.
he'd continued to find reasons to come to your room--broken ac, wobbly ceiling fan, sloping vanity. and each time ended with your mouth on him, or his fingers buried in your cunt with the opposite hand clasped around your mouth. you'd been hoping he'd invite you back to his place again soon, without sneaking away while everyone's distracted, you always wanted to be one of the women he had coming and going so everyone would know you're his. but he always found a reason not to.
"it'd be weird," he would say, "people seein you come into my trailer like that ain't a good look sweet pea, trust me."
that's always what he called you, even when you were younger but now it felt different, it was both endearing and condescending and it drove you fucking mad. no matter how much of his cum you swallowed it was like he still looked at you like a little girl.
₊˚ෆ
jj threw you a bone, just this once, when he came home late from work and saw you wandering around the complex. you looked a mess--eyeliner smeared around your big bambi eyes, grass stains littered on your knees as you walked with your boots in hand.
"you alright there, sweet pea?" he watched you jump as he slammed the door of his truck closed, eyes wide in shock as he watches you subtly go through a range of emotions before settling on what you hope is cool indifference.
so you shrug, shifting your gaze away from his, "was just with some friends no big deal."
'hanging with friends' normally consisted of you getting drunk and high with them at the beach until you ended up in the back of someones car. this time was no different, you had just hoped you could sleep there but the guy woke up and brung you back home, where you were met with an unsurprisingly locked door.
if you didn't know any better you'd think jj was sympathetic when his gaze softened.
good thing he'd grown accustomed to hiding his disgust. you stirred too many uncomfortable feelings in him. it was like looking in a mirror at times--the anger buried deep within you, barely contained when jj came to your trailer at your mom's request and he took note of your hoarse voices and red rimmed eyes as you slammed your bedroom door shut. it made him sick watching you, watching your demeanor shift into coquettish flirtation the second you were alone only to give way to wide eyed desperation anytime he kissed you and he could see the soft, meek thing underneath.
and sometimes--like now--that's what he wanted.
"whew, we'll you're lookin a little rough there, hungry?" he was giving you the lead again, like the first time. just to see where you were at.
you shifted uncomfortably again, eyes darting as you shiver in the cooling air.
"cmon, i know you're cold, you're barely wearing anything come inside."
it felt like a trap, but what choice did you have? "o-okay, just for a little bit though i gotta go home."
jj knows you don't. but he lets you walk past him, studying you as you walked up the porch first and he followed behind, "door's locked, lemme get it." this time when you shiver it's from his body lightly nudging against yours as he opens the door.
it was different seeing his trailer like this, all homey and warm unlike the thick tension that permeated it during the party and you watched him from the doorway as he threw his jacket on the couch and took off his boots in his old recliner.
"y'gonna just stand there or do you wanna get comfy? gonna take me a while to cook."
"you don't have to be a dick." despite your response you make your way to the couch, sitting with your legs hugged close trying not to falter when he smiles at you.
"not bein a dick, just want you to relax that's all." with that he gets up while tossing you the remote, "you can put on what you want but i only got basic cable...shit i need to get groceries...how's burgers sound?"
in all honesty you feel like you're in shock, jj's never acted like this with you before, all caring and casual, "uhh...that's fine?"
luckily he takes the hint and starts cooking, leaving you two in a surprisingly comfortable silence for a while until he breaks it, "she kick you out often?"
again you jolt, "what?"
"your mom, she kick you out a lot?" jj beckons you to the kitchen and you pull up the stool to the small island as he loads you up--bacon, cheese, lettuce, pickles, all the condiments you may want and a mound of fries all hand cut. a cold glass of coke on the side. you're mouth waters and you struggle to think of the last time someone cooked for you.
"i guess, normally it's whenever she has a new 'boyfriend' but i don't know sometimes i think she just gets sick of me. like if she locks me out she can pretend she never had me." there's a distant look in your eyes as you stare at the plate, and jj takes control, watching your face expression as he adds or puts aside the various toppings until he makes the burger you want.
"it's not your fault you know, i remember when she got pregnant, didn't surprise anybody really, we knew it was gonna happen eventually." jj cuts the burger for you next and finally you start to eat.
"maybe so. maybe she's mad i didn't do the same. maybe one day i'll come home and she'll be gone."
that one hurt him, deep and low in the pit of his stomach because he knows that feeling, that morbid anticipation of coming home to an empty house, left to fend your yourself in a way you didn't have to before.
you're nonchalance is off-putting as you shovel down your food, smearing the rest of your lipstick until its on your chin and he reaches forward to wipe it off.
"you mentioned your mama and her boyfriends. thought you said she was sweet on me."
"she's sweet on anybody who looks at her instead of me."
there's a pause.
"i never looked at her."
"i know. neither do her boyfriends."
another pause and the two of reach an impasse, and he can see you slipping again, that veil coming down over your eyes and he stops you half way, "you're filthy sweet pea. go take a shower."
with that he shuffles you along, getting you towels from the linen closet and a pair of old clothes so you could shower and get dressed while he cleaned. and he spent the entire 30 minutes buried elbows deep into the soapy water trying to will himself not to step in there with you.
truth be told, jj's glad he didn't, because he wouldn't have gotten to see you when you stepped out--your short hair curled against your forehead, and you looked...soft. the dark makeup no longer caking your eyes making them look gentle and curious. the cherry sweet scent of your perfume had been scrubbed off, now he could smell the ivory soap clinging to your skin from the kitchen.
"i don't...know what to do with my clothes."
jj breaks out of his reverie, quickly coming to take them out of your hand, again trying to ignore the feeling of your still warm underwear in his hands, "don't worry bout it sugar, i'll take care of it."
it's late by now and he can't ignore how tired he is, and judging by the way you yawn and rub your eyes he could tell you were too. so he pulls out the futon, fully dressing the bed so you could lay down comfortably as he puts the pillow under your bed, again ignoring the now familiar desperation in your eyes as he tucked you in, clearing his throat when he pulls back to look at you. all he could see was your eyes peaking over the covers.
"you uh, you can have the remote, watch what you want just don't pay for nothin." jj's nose twitches and he watches you shift to your stomach so your plush cheek is pressed into the pillow.
"will you be mad if i do?" there you were, soft and gentle like he liked you.
"nah, nah i won't be mad." his hands flex.
an impish smile spreads across your face, one jj's never seen before and he hates how his heart skips a beat, knowing you likely never shown it to anyone else, "okay. i'm gonna buy a movie then."
jj snorts out a laugh cutting off the lights as you finally settle in, "alright then, make it a good one."
"you don't wanna watch it with me?" that lurch in his stomach again as you make one last ditch attempt but he ignores it.
"good night sweet pea." when jj closes his bedroom door behind him, he hears a soft good night.
that night he dreams about you in ways his mind hasn't conjured up in 20 years.
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𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓉 𝓉𝓌𝑜 ~𝓁.𝒽𝓊𝑔𝒽𝑒𝓈~
summary: luke knows he messed up
word count: 3.6k
pairing: luke hughes x reader
notes: this was kinda requested on my main blog but i put all my writing on this blog. whoever sent in the request, thank you i hope this was okay [part one here]
can you write how you'd think luke would react to reader while in a heated argument, like what would he do? would he argue back or just let you finish
masterlist
the moment y/n walked out of the apartment, luke knew he had fucked up. he never should've went to the bar and he never should've brought another girl home. especially not when the girl he wanted since he was 12 was right across the hall.
it was a stupid move on his part. and one that jack never let him forget.
y/n and luke had been best friends since they were younger but jack always viewed her as a sister. he needed her as much as she needed him and the fact that it was luke that drove her away had increased his anger.
"you've gotta be the biggest idiot i know. and i've met some doozies." jack just shook his head when luke told him. "how could you not see she loved you, luke? and not just platonically either. she thought so much more of you."
"i had no idea she loved me, jack. and trust me. if i had known, i would've told her that i love her too. she's my best friend and i need her. i know i'm an idiot but that doesn't mean i need to be reminded every 5 minutes." he checked his phone, hoping for a text or a missed call from y/n but he got nothing. he slide his phone back in his pocket and looked at his brother. "where is she staying?"
"she informed me not to tell you until she's done being mad. she doesn't want you showing up and making her feel worse. give her some time."
"okay." was all he said before retreating back to his room.
jack sighed, walked back to his own apartment and called y/n. when she picked up, jack noticed how red her eyes were.
"hey. how are you doing?"
"i've been crying all night over something as stupid as a fight with my best friend. i feel like an idiot."
"no, don't. you loved him and it was more than just a fight with your best friend. he broke your heart. you're allowed to cry."
"thanks, jack. i really appreciate you. glad i didn't lose you in this little 'divorce' between me and your brother."
"you may have been his best friend first but you're my best friend too. i will never leave. you're stuck with me for life, sweetheart."
"stop it or i'm going to actually smile."
"you know you want to." jack smirked and when he saw her giggle a little, he threw his hand up in the air in success. "yes. i love that."
"screw you. i was trying to be mad and upset."
"well sorry for killing the mood." jack chuckled.
"you didn't tell him where i was staying, did you?"
"absolutely not. you asked me not to."
"and i appreciate it, jack. you're the best and very obviously my favorite of the hughes brothers."
"i always knew i was." he smirked smugly and watched a smile appear on her face. “there’s that beautiful smile we love so much.”
“thanks, jack. you don’t even understand how much you mean to me right now.”
“i love you, y/n.” he smiled. “and luke does too. only his love is different than mine.”
“what are you talking about?”
“luke may be an idiot but he’s an idiot who’s in love. trust me on this. and if you love him too, which i know you do, you'll talk to him."
"maybe when i take some well needed time away from him." she sighed. "he doesn't deserve my presence in his life right now. not when he always puts me at the back of his mind."
"i don't blame you for being upset since you're always focused on him and making sure he's okay and taken care of. he should appreciate you more."
"try to tell him that."
"i have tried. he agrees he's an idiot and told me he didn't need to be constantly reminded of it."
"well at least he knows." y/n sighed on her end of the phone and looked off camera. "i'm gonna let you go. gotta get ready for work."
"alright. have fun. and only think about happy thoughts."
"thanks, jack." y/n smiled and hung up the phone. she looked around the room she was staying in and sighed. it wasn't her own room and it made her heart break a little bit more. she wanted nothing more than to go home but she knew it was impossible to do so with luke failing to realize what he had been doing.
before she got any deeper into thought, there was a knock on her door. she got up slowly and opened it, revealing a smiling john on the other side.
"hey. i wasn't sure what food you liked so i brought a bunch of stuff back for you."
"you didn't have to do that, john. but i appreciate it." y/n smiled and followed him to the kitchen. her eyes landed on the bags on the counter and she looked over at john. "okay, you really didn't have to do this."
"i know. but jack asked me to get you anything you needed so that's what i did. i figured you would need food but i wasn't sure which one you would be craving."
"well, i like all of this food. but for future reference, burgers are always a great choice for me." y/n smiled and grabbed the mcdonald's bag. "thanks again for letting me stay. i promise i'll be out of here as soon as i can find somewhere to live."
"you're welcome to stay here for however long you need."
"is your whole team full of sweet men?"
"basically. there's one or two guys who aren't the nicest. but it also depends on who they're around." john smiled. "are you coming to the party tonight?"
"yeah. i probably should. just because i'm mad at luke, doesn't mean i can't be there for the rest of you guys, right?"
"exactly." he smiled and they headed towards their rooms. "we should walk in together. could get luke's attention."
'i'll think about it and let you know before the party."
“alright. cool.” john smiled and walked towards his room with his own bag of food. y/n sat at the counter and started eating. no matter how hard she tried to fight it, her mind kept finding its way back to luke. she started to think more about john’s offer and decided it would probably get luke’s attention.
“hey, john? you decent in there?”
“of course. come on in.”
y/n opened the door slowly and smiled when she saw john hyper focused on a video game. “i thought about your offer...to walk into the party together.”
“oh yeah. and?”
“i say why the hell not? it’ll definitely get luke’s attention and since you’ll be there with the hottest girl, i’m sure it’ll strike some jealousy in another girl or two.”
“i hadn’t even thought about that honestly. i was only thinking about what would be best for you.” he smiled. “but that’s actually a good idea.”
“i’m full of them.” y/n smirked and headed towards the guest room to get ready. and of course, she called jack to get his opinion on what would be the best outfit to catch luke’s attention.
“it’s always going to be that red crop top you own. he always loves that on you.”
“really? i never noticed.” y/n searched through her bag to find it but came up empty handed. “i think i left it back in the apartment.”
“either that or luke took it and hid it from you because he didn’t like the attention you got from other guys.”
“i love you jack, i really do. but i don’t believe anything you’re saying.” y/n looked through her bag one more time before sighing in defeat. “jack, can you do me a favor?”
“already on my way there.” jack chuckled, causing y/n to smile. he knew her so well. jack used his spare key to let himself in. “he’s not here but i’m gonna make this quick, just in case he shows up.”
y/n waited for jack to find her the desired top and when he did, she thanked him before setting her phone on her desk and began doing her makeup.
when jack came to drop off the top, he smiled at her sympathetically. y/n found it suspicious but she brushed it off and finished getting ready.
🌜⭐️🌛🌜⭐️🌛🌜⭐️🌛
she and john stood outside the building together an hour later. y/n was frozen in place and john placed his hand on her shoulder reassuringly.
“we don’t have to go in there if you don’t want to. hell, we don’t even have to go in together if that’ll make you feel better.”
“no. i want to do this.” she smiled and grabbed his hand, gently squeezing it. “thank you for doing this, marino.”
“anytime, kiddo.” he smiled back at her and they walked into the party together.
it didn’t take long before luke found her. and it certainly didn’t take long to see who she had arrived with.
his own teammate. a friend. someone he considered himself to be close to.
he watched as john whispered something in y/n’s ear, causing her to giggle. luke knew he shouldn't have been upset that she was smiling and he wasn't the cause of it, but he couldn't help it. he was an idiot in love.
after staring longer than he needed to, luke grabbed the nearest bottle and headed out the back door to be alone.
y/n glanced up just as luke was closing the door. her plan worked so why did she feel so bad?
"thanks for doing this for me, john. it's working."
"mhm. for both of us." he tipped his glass in the direction of the kitchen. a tall girl with red hair was waving at john and she was smiling.
"congrats, buddy. go talk to her."
"oh, i am." he smiled, downed his drink and headed over to the kitchen.
y/n watched her friend for a few seconds and once she was sure things were going good, she decided to head out the back door.
luke didn't have to look behind him to know exactly who it was when he heard the door shut softly.
"what are you doing out here all alone, luke?"
"you should know the answer to that."
"i do. but what i don't understand is why you're so mad right now. if anyone has the right to be mad, it's me." y/n leaned against the rail of the back porch, far from luke.
"why are you even here at the party? and why did you show up with marino?"
"well, for one, it's a party celebrating my friends. and two, john is just my-"
"do not say he's just your roommate."
"well he is."
"you've only been out of the apartment for less than 24 hours. how are you already settled on that decision? thought you would be back by now."
"there's a reason i'm leaving, luke."
"what's it going to take for you to come back home?"
"you know damn well why i can't, luke."
"you're gonna have to help me out. i'm a little drunk right now."
"you have no idea how it feels to love someone so much that all you do is keep them at the front of your mind. and you have no idea how it feels to have your heart ripped out by that same person because you find out they don't think of you the same way."
"elaborate."
"no, luke. i'm done with this conversation." y/n wipes her eyes and went to walk back to the house. before her hand wrapped around the knob, luke's found its way around her wrist, effectively pulling her back to face him.
"i'm sorry, okay? i'm sorry for everything. for being the worst roommate. the worst friend. the worst person alive. is that what you need to hear?"
"are you only saying that because you think it's what i want to hear or because you really mean it?"
"what's the difference?"
"oh my god. goodbye luke." y/n yanked her wrist from his grip and walked back into the house. she looked around the room for john and when she found him, he was dancing with the red haired girl from before.
he was enjoying himself so y/n thought it'd be best if she left him alone. instead, she looked around for jack. he was standing alone so she approached him.
"hey. are you enjoying the party?"
"no. and i want to go home but john is occupied so i can't ask him."
"yeah it's not often he gets a girl." jack chuckled. "i can drive you home if you want."
"but you've been drinking.'
"it's actually just a pepsi. i'm the designated driver tonight." jack glanced at her. "so, would you like a ride back to john's?"
"that would be great. thanks jack." y/n smiled
"no problem." jack returned the smile and they headed out to the car.
halfway through the drive, y/n turned to look at jack. "can i actually stay at your place tonight? there's a good chance john's gonna bring that girl home and i don't want to hear them."
"you know you don't even have to ask." jack smiled and changed course, heading to his apartment instead. the only downside to staying with jack for the night was that her own apartment with luke was just downstairs, meaning there was a good chance she'd run into him in the building.
🌜⭐️🌛🌜⭐️🌛🌜⭐️🌛
y/n was wide awake at 4am when the guest bedroom door opened. assuming it was jack, she opened her mouth, but before she could speak, she heard his voice.
"jack, are you awake? i really need to talk to someone."
y/n stiffened and pretended to be asleep when luke sat at the end of the bed. he must've thought this was jack's room.
"i messed up, jack. i really messed up. y/n is the most perfect person i've ever met and i let her down. i shouldn't have been such an asshole to her. man, i love her so much but how am i supposed to tell her when she's upset with me?" luke sniffled and shifted a little. "i don't know how to explain to her that she's always on my mind. always at the front of my mind. never the back of it. the other night was a mistake. and so was tonight. oh god. i wanted to kiss her when i saw her at the party. but she hates me and she would've rejected me immediately. how am i supposed to get over someone who means the absolute world to me? someone who i never ever stop thinking about. someone who i've loved since i was 12 years old. my favorite person in the whole world."
y/n looked at his back and watched as it shook slightly. she wanted to tell him that he wasn't talking to jack and that she forgave him, but the words weren't coming out.
"if you happen to talk to her, can you tell her please? i would do it but she really hates me so i'm gonna give her some space." luke stood up and headed for the door. "thanks, by the way. you're a really good brother."
y/n watched as luke closed the door and listened as he stumbled out of the apartment.
"oh god. what am i going to do now?" y/n rubbed her eyes and sat up straight. she climbed out of bed and went across the hall to jack's room. "jack, are you awake?"
"yeah. come in." jack was sitting up in bed, staring at his phone. when he saw y/n, he locked his phone and made room for her to climb in beside him. "what's keeping you up so late?"
"your brother just came into the room and poured his heart out to me, thinking it was you. i want to forgive him so bad but i don't know what to say to him."
"i love you both but the two of you really need to get over this thing. you both love each other, obviously. so even though he was a jerk to you, isn't it worth it if you truly love him?"
"it might be. but he was crying and i don't want to make him feel embarrassed by acknowledging that i heard him cry."
"you do what you have to do. i'm here for support either way, you know that."
"i do. and i appreciate it jack." y/n looked at her friend and smiled. "so, when are you gonna get a girlfriend?"
"shut up and go to bed." jack chuckled and hit her with a pillow. instead of heading back to the guest room, y/n fell asleep in jack's bed. it was not a new occurrence for either of them.
the next morning, y/n received a text from john, apologizing for ditching her and for what she might have heard coming from his room. she assured him it was fine and that she had stayed with jack last night, to which he was relieved.
y/n looked at the other side of the bed and for the first time, noticed jack wasn't in the bed. she checked the time.
9:45am
"i wonder where he went." she thought out loud before swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and walking out of the room. the moment she walked into the hallway, she was hit with the sensational smell of waffles and coffee.
"good morning." jack greeted her as she entered the kitchen.
"good morning. what's all this?"
"figured you'd want some breakfast after what happened last night. you know, to cheer you up."
"you're amazing, jack. i love you." y/n smiled and sat down at the counter.
"i love you too." he served her a small stack of waffles and put some on a plate for himself. "don't hate me but luke is coming over in about an hour."
"oh. what for?"
"he called me and wanted to come over to talk to me abot what he confessed last night. so, if you want, you can stay and have that chat with him instead."
"thanks. i think that would be good." y/n smiled and the two of them finished eating breakfast. as y/n finished washing the plates, there was a knock at the door. she could hear him before she saw him.
"jack, i'm an idiot." were the first words out of luke's mouth.
"i agree. what for this time?"
"were you awake when i came into your room last night? did you hear anything i said?"
"yeah, about that." jack took a step back and let his brother walk into the kitchen. "i think you two need to talk."
jack hurried out of the apartment as fast as he could, not leaving luke any time to argue about the situation. instead, he just avoided all eye contact.
"i heard what you said last night, luke. and i-"
"oh great. so why didn't you say anything?"
"i didn't want to speak and scare you off. i wanted to listen to what you had to say. and when you were done, i went to say something but you got up and left." y/n put the last dish away and looked over at luke. "but believe me when i say that when i saw you were crying, i wanted to wrap you up in a warm hug and let you know that i forgive you. but again, i didn't want to scare you away."
"i wasn't crying." luke shifted awkwardly and leaned against the opposite counter.
"luke, i know you better than you think i do. and it's okay to talk to me about how you're feeling. you're my best friend."
"still? even after i forgot about you?"
"yes, even after all that. because the love i have for you is greater than the anger i can hold. so the love outweighs it all."
"you love me?"
"yeah. crazy, ain't it?"
"would you believe me if i told you i've loved you since we were 12?" he chuckled. "oh wait. you heard me last night. i'm an idiot. how could i mix up the two rooms? more importantly, how could i think i was talking to jack when all i could smell was your perfume? i must've been really out of it."
“it’s okay. it tends to happen, lukey.” she used his nickname and he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face when he heard it. to him, it felt like he hadn’t heard it in years.
“i appreciate it. and i appreciate you not judging me for getting emotional last night.”
“one, men are allowed to show their emotions without fear. and two, i would never judge you. you know that.”
“i know. but if you wanted to, i wouldn’t blame you. i’m an idiot.”
“i agree.” y/n smiled. “but again, it’s okay. nobody’s perfect. and hey, we can be idiots together.”
“please tell me you mean that.” luke looked down at y/n and smiled hopefully.
she grabbed the sides of his face and brought him down to her level. “i meant every damn word, lukey.”
and before he could respond, she kissed him. she kissed him with passion and she kissed him with anger. but most importantly, she kissed him with all the love she had ever felt before.
as she pulled away slowly, luke couldn’t help the smile that etched itself onto his face. the girl he’s loved since he was 12 finally loved him back.
“so will you please come home now?”
“you are my home, lukey. and there’s no other place i’d rather be.”
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Request: Remus Lupin x fem!reader
Plot: Remus and reader studying together while she sits on his lap, but she realizes she wants him and grinds on him while he tries to work
WARNINGS: smut, shy insecure Reader, Remus helping in his unique way ....
I changed the plot a little bit ...
The soft sound of the needle scratching the vinyl filled the room. All the songs have come to an end and Remus and I didn't even notice we had been too engrossed in our studies. Or more likely he was and I was simply staring at him. He was scrunching up his nose and poking his tongue out every time he tried to understand something. He seemed good and happy. That was when you decided to attack him. You quickly climbed over him and straddled his lap, before placing kisses on his neck.
For god’s sake, he thought. You looked so beautiful taking charge of him and making him writhe like this. This wasn't something that he would usually indulge in but if it meant that you would kiss him senseless and drive the breath clean out of him he was all in. You didn’t usually climb on top of your boyfriend to attack him with senseless kisses of your own accord, usually, it was the opposite. It was a magnificent change for him, one he welcomed with open arms.
“Whoa,” Remus took a sharp breath, wrapping an arm around your waist as you bucked your hips against him. “Dove, may I ask what …. what brought this—ah—on?”
“No, not really” you muttered against his collarbones as you grabbed his loosened tie to crush your lips to his. You knew that your newfound confidence and control wouldn't last long, Remus would quickly seek a way to turn things around.
“You’re going to be the death— of me.” Remus stuttered, feeling sweat lining all over his body. you were a vixen under the guise of a proper girl. He supposed he already knew that but tonight drove the fact home. If he were, to be honest, to be honest, he liked you this way better. Your sailor's mouth and timid confidence were facts about you that he only seemed to know. He felt powerful that way because he could keep you from the world.
He was a mess of swollen lips, heavily panting under your hands. And Godrick, now you were trailing sloppy kisses down his chest, and then too near to his crotch, that had been his last straw before grabbing your hips in a tight hold, turning you around, and spreading your legs. He positioned one of his thighs, letting you rest your wait there as you started moving back and forth. He stilled you with a commanding hand.
“How about a game? You answer my questions correctly, you get fucked like the good girl I know you are. Otherwise …” He let his voice fade and you were tempted to answer one of his questions wrong, just for the fun of it. Just to see how far he could go this time. He would never hurt you, not really. He was too much of a sweetheart for that.
“What if I don't want to, Professor?” You said with a sultry voice. And he playfully rolled his eyes at you.
“Do not tease me, you minx.” He said in your ear before bouncing his leg harshly, and a gasp let you at the sudden movement and pressure in your clit. “Now let's start shall we?”
You nodded so fast that you knocked the back of your head to his nose. Every time you answered correctly he rubbed your clit in harsh tight circles. Every time you answered wrong he bounced his leg while he kept you in place. Your head had been working overtime to try to even think of an answer without even caring about its correctness. Either way, the pleasure you got from simply answering was more than enough to drive you crazy.
Your head had been spinning once he stopped moving. His voice didn't sound any longer, the only sound that sounded in the room was your heavy labored breathing. He placed a sweet kiss on your pulse point before he turned you around once again. A wicked grin was plastered on his face as he slipped inside of you. You haven't even registered the sound of him lowering his pants. Your legs wrapped around his chair as an anchor, his thrusts were so hard and so deed that you bounced with their force, and your hips were pressed flush against his. He buried his head into your chest, feeling your racing heartbeat as your softness enveloped him in more places than one. All thoughts about his friends burging into the room flew out of his head as his whole world redacted into you.
Stuttered breathing reached his ears as your muffled voice called out to him to stop, to never stop, and muttered his name with colorful names. He absolutely loved it when you lost control and cursed him for what he did to you. No one would know that his sweet girl loved to be fucked harshly to the point where youwas nothing but his fuck toy. Without warning you fell over the edge and he tried to remove his head from your embrace to admire your beauty. Your cheeks were flushed and tears slipped from your eyes as he came inside of you.
He pressed kisses on your forehead trying to calm you down, gathered into his arms. He was still deep inside of you and you rolled your hips against his. What you were trying to chase he didn't know, but he let you, curiosity got the best of him. Soon he was hard inside you again but he collected all of his willpower to let you take charge you had earned it. You whined his name pathetically, begging him to please just fuck you. He felt cruel and maybe he was, but you had to start claiming what you deserved without his help, even from him.
You got the hang of it pretty quickly and he was glad to praise his smart girl. Your legs were quivering around him, barely able to keep your weight. Just when they were about to give out he grabbed the back of your thighs helping you lift your weight but doing nothing else. He was leaking inside of you, you were doing the best job and he told you as much. A few minutes after you both tipped over the edge and this time he removed himself from you and positioned you back on his thigh. Without missing a beat you started riding his leg and he felt his eyes roll to the back of his head. It was going to be a long night for the two of you, he knew that because from the moments you looked at him with those eyes and with that pout on your lips, he was unapologetically wrapped around your finger.
words: a little of over 1.100
#remus lupin#remus lupin smut#remus lupin x fem!reader#remus lupin x reader#remus x reader#remus x you#smut
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Boy next door P14
P1 P2 P3 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P12 P13
Summary: You move from Florida to Boston in the middle the school year. Being the new kid is hard - being the new kid in the middle of the school year is even harder. Especially if you’re not good in making friends. But suddenly, there’s this boy who lives next door that caught your attention
Warnings: mentions of a suicide attempt, sad sad sad
-gezo
Nick‘s POV
I was sitting on the couch with Mom and Dad, watching the first grown ups movie.
I trained my eyes on the TV, desperately trying to get the kiss out of my mind and to concentrate on the movie.
I bit back a smile.
The kiss. Y/n kissed me.
My stomach tingled and I let out a short breath.
„Do you hear that?“ Mom asked, frowning at me.
I looked over at her „hm?“ I shrugged „hear what?“ I mumbled.
Mom stared at me for a few seconds before she tapped Dad on his arm „stop the movie.“ she told him.
Dad catched my confused glare for a second, returning it. He grabbed the remote and stopped the movie as she told him to.
I looked back at mom, hearing it too. Ambulance siren‘s.
Dad shrugged „im sure they’re just driving by.“ he comforted mom, turning the movie back on.
„Yeah..“ mom breathed, glaring back at the TV.
I let out a sigh and stood up „im gonna grab a drink.“ I mumbled before walking over to the kitchen.
I opened the fridge and grabbed a soda out of it, closing it after.
I looked out of the window as the sirens came closer. But the ambulance didn't drive any further.
It stopped in front of y/n’s house. Directly after the ambulance the police pulled up.
I froze, blue and red lights shone against my face.
„fuck.“ I breathed, placing the soda onto the counter before making my way quickly back into the living room.
„It’s y/n.“ I said with a shaky voice as I walked past them. „What?“ both of my parents frowned at me but I ignored them.
I almost ran out of my house, towards y/n‘s.
Please be okay. Please be okay.
A police officer stood in front of the Police car, speaking into the walkie talkie that was attached to his vest.
I couldn’t give a shit less and quickly walked past him.
„Shit- hold on a second.“ the police officer sighed, speaking into the walkie talkie „hey! You can’t go there!“ he yelled after me.
I shook my head and ignored him.
The officer grabbed my arm and pulled me back „you can’t go there, kid.“
I pulled my arm away „let go, motherfucker.“ I snapped.
„What?!“ he growled at me, getting into my face:
„Okay, okay. Lets calm down.“ my dad breathed as he jogged towards us and pulling me towards him.
The officer clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes at me.
„Come here sweetie.“ mom whispered to me, pulling me away from dad and the officer.
„What the fuck does it mean I can’t go there! I need to make sure he’s okay“ I shook my head, looking down at my mom. „I need to- fuck.“ I breathed, running a hand through my hair.
„I know, I know..“ mom rubbed my arm in a comforting manner. „Im sure he’s okay. I’m sure..“ she whispered.
It sounded more like she was trying to convince herself than me.
As dad talked to the officer the paramedics came out with a stretcher that they pushed in front of them, one person was lying on it.
My heart stopped for a second, my stomach tightened disgustingly.
Mom gasped next to me, pressing her hand against her mouth.
Because of the darkness, I couldn't tell who was lying on the stretcher.
I never really believed in god but in that moment I prayed - don’t let it be him.
I let out a hard breath as y/n walked out of his house, a paramedic next to him, guiding him into the ambulance.
He didn’t look at us. It seemed like he didn’t look anywhere but the ground. His expression was blank - numb.
The paramedics put the stretcher into the ambulance and getting inside themselves before it drove off.
The officer flicked his tounge and said something into the walkie talkie. He mumbled a quick bye to my dad and got into his car, driving after the ambulance.
„Oh god..“ mom breathed, shaking her head „the poor boy.. the poor boy..“ she whispered, letting go off me.
I clenched my jaw, watching the ambulance drive away.
-
Y/n‘s POV
There’s a few smells that I hate. Coffee and hospitals are two of them.
When I was 11 my dad hit me too hard and I stumbled back, my head hit the sharp edge of the table.
I was bleeding so much he had no other choice but to drag me into a hospital.
I was crying the whole time. He told me to stop crying or he would give me something to cry about.
As the doctor took care of me my dad sat across from me, sipping on that disgusting hospital coffee.
Since that day I hate hospitals and coffee.
„Are you even listening y/n?“
I glared at the officer that sat in front of me. A hospital coffee cup in his hand.
He trained his eyes on me and sighed.
„was this the first time your mother showed symptoms of being suicidal?“ he questioned me.
I sighed my fingernails into the palm of my hand.
I didn’t feel anything. It was like my whole body was numb.
I was desperately trying to feel something. To feel pain, sadness, anger, anything.
But I just felt empty.
To the point where I found my mom laying in the living room, blood all over her arms and over the carpet, till now, it felt like 10 minutes passed by.
These 10 minutes were actually 4 hours and since 3 hours the police officer was trying to get some useful information out of me.
The officer sighed and massaged his temples.
„you still wanna keep quite?“ he mumbled, shaking his head. „Fine.“ he flicked his tounge, leaning back into his chair.
„Fine by me.“ he shrugged „I just want to help. But apparently you need help.“ he snarled.
He brought the coffee cup up to his mouth, not breaking eye contact with me.
„I guess you wouldn’t mind a bootcamp then.“ he mumbled before he took a sip out of that disgusting coffee.
The officer started to get frustrated with me. He tried to trigger something in me to get me to talk.
Fucking asshole.
„Ma'am, please!“ a muffled voice was saying in front of the room me and the officer were seated in.
„Absolutely not!“ a woman yelled back.
Funny. The woman kinda sounds like Mary-Lou.
Fuck, I’m starting to imagine things.
Suddenly the door was being pulled open, Mary-Lou standing in the doorway, a officer behind her.
I blinked at her.
Did I go insane?
„Excuse me?“ the officer in front of me said, standing up.
„Sorry- I tried to stop her!“ the other officer defended himself.
Mary-Lou didn’t even acknowledge the officer in front of me and just looked down at me.
„Come on sweetie, let’s go.“ she said calmly, holding her hand out to me.
„ma'am we’re in the middle of a questioning, you can’t just-" the asshole officer started, Mary-Lou cut him off.
„I can’t just what? He’s a minor. You can’t just lock him up in a room and question him for hours without an adult by his side!“ she snapped at him.
Asshole cop let out a frustrated sigh „no need to yell ma‘am. You can’t take him away if you’re not an family member. And I assume you’re not?“ he remarked.
I never saw her so furious. „The only family member he has is the reason you’re questioning him. I don’t care if I can’t take him, I can and I will. Y/n, stand up and lets go.“ she demanded.
I shot asshole cop a last glare before I stood up and walked over to her. Mary-Lou gently laid a hand on my back and accompanied me out.
Once we were out she took a deep breath, rubbing my back comfortably. „It’s gonna be okay.. you’re gonna stay with us for tonight. We‘ll take care of you, don’t you worry..“ she assured me.
We drove home in silence.
I stared out of the window, replaying the moments that just happened in the last few hours. Everything was blurry.
But at least I no longer had to smell coffee and hospital.
As we got inside, Nick sat impatiently on the staircase. He immediately stood up as we walked in.
He opened his mouth to say something before he closed it again.
I wouldn’t know what to say in that situation either.
So he came up to me and wrapped his arms around me.
I stared at the ground, not returning his hug.
„You can handle it?“ Mary-Lou whispered to her son. Nick gave her a nod as he let go off me.
She let out a soft, tired breath „if you need something just tell me..“ she whispered to me with the softest smile she could put on at this point.
The squeezed my arm gently before she let go and walked into her bedroom.
Nick grabbed my hand softly and walked with me into his room.
He closed the door behind us and looked up at me. Pity was written all over his face.
I sighed and pulled my gaze away, slowly sitting down on his bed.
Nick didn’t tear his eyes off me. „Im..“ he started, shaking his head „im so sorry..“ he breathed, sitting down next to me.
I swallowed a little and shrugged slightly „'s ok..“ i whispered with a hoarse voice. That’s the first thing I’ve said in hours.
Nick let out a breath and looked down at his lap.
I took a deep breath „sorry for..“ I bit on my cheek „for this.“ I gestured my hand around the room.
Nick looked up and shook his head softly „no- no, don’t even think that..“ he whispered softly, placing his hand on my back.
I closed my eyes for a moment.
The image of my mom with cut open wrists pops into my head. I cringed.
„you know you’re always welcome here.. it’s not your fault.“
It’s not your fault.
It’s not your fault.
I broke.
All the feelings that were buried deep inside, overwhelmed by the stupor, simply bursted forth.
„Oh y/n..“ Nick whispered softly, pulling me against him.
I buried my face into his shoulder and sobbed into it, wrapping my arms around him and holding onto him for dear life.
His arms came around me and he held me. He held me and let me cry.
Tags! @udotnknowme @sturnclouds @patscorner @miloisdone1 @thenickgirl @freshloveforthefit @nathandoesgf @m0r94n @sturniolo0ntop
#sturniolo triplets#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#nick sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets x reader#nick x reader#nick sturniolo x you
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thought of calling you, but you won’t pick up • ttfd
chapter four of the tortured firefighters department
previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter
cw: fem!reader, afab!reader, no descriptions of reader, banter (because i love it), reader is a math and science nerd, chris is here, mentions of food, hints of mental issues, proofread by my bye-lingual ass (let me know if i forgot anything)
You checked your phone again. Last night, Eddie texted that Carla would be joining you and Chris on your small field trip because he forgot he had booked her for the day. You never met the lady, but you were sure it was gonna be fine. With an extra adult ticket in your pocket, you waited.
Fifteen minutes and no sign of them. Maybe you should text Eddie and get Carla’s number? She was probably stuck in traffic, but that information would ease your worries — and you could help her avoid the even worse routes the apps were giving these days. At this pace, you’d wear off the soles of your white Nike Dunk and pull every single thread of your maroon sweater.
You were about to text Eddie when you saw the black Jeep Wrangler parking not a few spots down to your left. No fucking way, you thought as you marched into its direction.
“Let’s go, Chris, we’re gonna be late!” Buck helped the kid out of the car and picked up a small paper bag before closing the door.
“Hey, Chris! Are you excited?” You hugged him and kept your hands on his shoulder, finally looking at the one person you’ve been successfully avoiding. “Thanks for dropping him off, Buckley. Is Carla joining us later?”
“Actually, I’m on babysitting duty today.” He extended you the paper bag. “Peace offering?”
“What is this?”
“The reason why we were late.” He insisted you accept the bag. “C’mon, aren’t you curious?”
“He said you’d like it,” Chris added.
You accepted the gift, peaking it before opening the bag and finding one of your favorite cupcakes from your favorite bakery. The one from the incident that set the whole “we could be friends” situation on fire.
“Can we call it a truce for today?” It was implied, but he was definitely saying this for Chris’ sake.
“Ok, just today. But this doesn’t make things magically disappear, Buckley.”
“Why do you call him Buckley?” Chris asked you, his head tilted in your direction. “I call him Buck!”
“She’s mad at me, little guy.” He took a step closer to you two, probably testing the waters. “Did you get the tickets?”
“Who do you think I am? But give me one second, I can’t enter the museum with food.”
“Take your time. Wanna see if we can get to the museum before Brains, Chris?” And off they went.
You were almost sure Eddie planned this out. Leaving you to babysit his son and his annoying friend, who everyone under the 118 roof knew you were avoiding. One hundred percent intentional, right? And of course he would be late because he drove all the way to Santa Monica to buy your favorite cupcake — someone gave him a tip.
You started to feel a bit sad for ignoring his calls and texts all week long. But you pushed it away while you ate the cupcake and watched the boys walking to the entrance. With your clean hand, you gave Buck the tickets and told them to go ahead and go all the way back after the main hall: it was smart to take advantage of the morning weather on the Nature Gardens outside and explore all the fossils and animals later on.
You were just a few steps behind when you caught up with them in the outdoor gardens. As a newcomer to this whole Chris’ babysitter duty job, you left to Buck to finish the small walk around the main paths. It was a good opportunity to text Eddie and say that, even though you offered to take Chris to the Museum, you were only assigned to take care of one kid, not two. In his best single-father in the middle of a shift style, he texted you a ‘thumbs up’ back. Oh he was so hearing about it later.
The Natural History Museum in Los Angeles was definitely packed with exhibitions that could keep a child and adults entertained. You’d been there once, as soon as you moved to LA, almost a year ago now, and the featured exhibitions were different back then, but still a pretty good curating work after all.
However, the moment Chris saw the Dinosaur Hall and the Dino Lab, you knew it was over for any other exhibitions. And could you blame him? The dinos were pretty badass and Chris was a very curious kid, so he kept asking you all the questions you could’ve imagined — and a few more you weren’t prepared for. You acted like his own private tour guide, proud of spending some time researching and studying about dinosaurs the last few days.
You almost missed all the attention Buck was giving to you while you talked. To be honest, you couldn’t tell who was more focused on you: the kid or the annoying adult.
After all that talking, you for sure were starting to feel a little tired and overwhelmed. Even with short breaks for some water, you still felt like you needed a reset. You signaled to Buck that you’re going to the restroom for a second, he kept reading Chris the charts about butterflies and insects.
You washed your hands and used some of the water on your neck, trying to calm yourself down. How did you go from wanting Buckley’s head on a plate to babysitting with him? Life was fast and unpredictable by the Pacific shore. One lady entered the restroom and stopped by the sink to your right, trying to get rid of the chocolate and ketchup in her hands. You saw her a few minutes ago, when you stopped to grab some water.
“Can I just say you are an adorable couple? And your son is so sweet.” Her tone was sweet and definitely meant well. But she was so wrong about everything.
“Oh, he’s not our kid,” you rushed to explain the situation. “We’re just babysitting for a friend while he’s working.”
“Well, just like my grandparents told me once: sometimes you’ll have a taste of what your life could be with a special person at the moment you least expected.”
You smiled at her through the mirrors. “Did they give you any advice on how to know if it’s the right one?”
“No, but you look like someone who knows how to find that answer.” She threw the paper towels away. “Sorry for being so cryptic. Have fun!”
She left before you could even thank her for… well, the advice. Not that you asked for it, but it did show up in a nice time. Or maybe not. You weren’t sure. Did that truce mean you could let yourself feel everything you were repressing for the past few weeks? Not just regarding Evan Buckley and his lack of manners, but about everything in your life.
After all the dinosaurs and lectures about natural history, you decided to wrap up and move on to the next stop on your list. Buckley helped Chris get down the entry steps and you took the directions back to the parking lot close to the museum.
“Thanks for your services, Buckley. You can just,” you motioned your head to his car. “Ok, Chris. What do you wanna do now?” You opened your Uber app to get a ride to the next destination.
“Not necessary.” Buckley took the phone out of your hands and stored it into his jacket pocket. “I’m also the designated driver for the day.”
“What happened to you getting out of my hair?” You crossed your arms over your chest.
“I thought we were in this together.” He gave you the classic — and a little bit sassy — Buckley smile. He paid for the parking. “C’mon, Chris, we have places to go.”
The three of you walked to his car, but you were still not convinced. It was your idea to babysit Chris for the day, all your plans were picked towards your goal: having a nice and chill day with him. You didn’t need Evan Buckley and all his golden retriever energy to disturb your perfect equation.
While you were hating on him, he made sure Chris was comfortable and safe on the back seat.
“Why are you ruining my plans?” You didn’t move from the driver’s door. Maybe, if you were warned beforehand you’d had to deal with him, you'd grow some patience. But not today, not this fast.
“I’m not. Still your plans with Chris. Tell me where to go next, I’ll drive us.”
“Give me my phone back.”
“Are you letting me be your driver today?” He leaned against the car.
“What choice do I have, Evan?” You rolled your eyes.
“Hey, I’ve told you I’m sorry.” You stepped aside, finally letting him grab the door handle. “Also, none of my friends call me Evan, by the way.”
“And since when am I your friend?”
“Since now. Hurry up, he’s gonna grow impatient and snap at us.”
“He would never do that.”
“Wanna test your theory, future doctor?”
“Not at all.”
He closed the door. You went around the vehicle, still pissed at him for taking your phone from you. You jumped into the car and checked Chris.
“Ok, are we hungry already or can we check out this cool place before that?”
“Pancakes!” Chris shouted from his seat. “Please?”
“Sure! Ok, let me just,” you instinctively reached out for your phone, but it was still being held hostage by Buck. “Phone, please.”
“Here,” he handed it to you, an aux cable attached to it. “Put the address in the GPS, and please play something kid friendly, ok?”
“Excuse me? What do you think I listen to while I’m driving to work?”
“With that sassy attitude of yours? I expect the worst.”
Just to prove him wrong, as soon as you entered the address on the GPS, you blasted one of your personal favorites. “I stay out too late, got nothing in my brain. That's what people say, mm-mm,” you sang.
“That's what people say, mm-mm,” and Chris, in the back seat, joined you.
You were definitely getting under Buck’s skin. The fact that you picked a song Chris knew the words too left him in disadvantage because you were sure he wanted the taste of saying “Told you so” as soon as he proved his point. But he should’ve known better than to provoke you.
“And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate. Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake. I shake it off!” You sang it right by Buck’s ear, dodging his hand because he was trying to get you out of his hair. Well, how does it feel now, Evan?
Your queue was really impressive: it looked like you were up-to-date with what the younger generation was listening to — not that you didn’t enjoy the same songs occasionally, but you never kept your options too narrow. There was just one scary moment where you thought you added an explicit song, but you deleted it in time.
Buck was too busy following the GPS directions. You were stuck with him for the rest of the day, which was a nightmare by itself, and kinda stuck into the endless LA traffic. Chris didn’t notice the animosity between you because you both toned it down — for him, only for one day. Most of it sounded like some friendly banter.
Under the upbeat pop song you were playing, you could hear him singing another tune, barely familiar, but still unrecognizable.
“What’s that?”
“Oh, nothing.” He made a left turn, but kept on singing it. “If you could see it… been here all along… how could you not know baby.”
Without a warning, you typed the name of the song in your library and gave it priority in your queue. His fingers started tapping in the beat, and he started following the lyrics, saying the right words this time.
“If you could see that I'm the one who understands you, been here all along. So, why can't you see? You belong with me,” you two sang along together. But you really kept your poker face because you couldn’t give him any reasons to be even more annoying.
“Looks like we’ve arrived,” he announced, breaking the spell of one song.
Buck pointed to the restaurant you found a few months ago. It was located south of Santa Monica, a few blocks from the beach, but with the rooftop seats, you could definitely say you were eating by the beach. You parked not far from the entry, and you rushed upstairs to get one of those special tables, telling Buck to help Chris because you didn’t want to ruin the surprise.
On the very edge of the roof, your favorite table awaited you: closer to the corner, with a huge light blue umbrella over your head, the four seat table had the perfect view and vibes. You pulled a chair for your bag and greeted the waiter. She didn’t get why you were in a rush until she saw Chris on Buck’s back.
“Could you just pick a place with an elevator next time?”
“I thought you were the muscles, Buckley. Hey, Chris, let me help you.” You held him tight, removing him from Buck’s embrace and putting him on the floor. “I had to make sure we had the perfect table.”
Three stores of stairs, in a rush, were justified once you got to see the smile on Chris’ face. You could catch your breath later.
+++
Chris ate way too many pancakes. You’d have to do a lot of explaining to Eddie, but hey, if the kid was happy, how could that be a problem?
You had to cancel the last plan of the day — a trip to another museum — and settle down at an arcade close to the restaurant before ending your babysitting duty. Just buying you enough time to Eddie leave the firehouse and be home. So you were watching Buck and Chris playing some games while you tried to schedule some study breaks between classes and shifts.
“What’s wrong?” Buck sat down to your right. Chris was just in your sight, in case he needed more coins or any help.
“Nothing.” You turned off your phone screen, ignoring your packed schedule.
“It doesn’t look like nothing.” He gave you a little smudge on the shoulder. “C’mon, Brains, talk to me.”
“I’m just a bit tired, it’s fine.”
“You know, you can go home now, I’ll take him to Eddie’s. You look like you need a good night of sleep.”
“To be honest, I can’t go back home now because I’d feel guilty. My brain is all mushy,” you pointed to your head, “and I wouldn’t be able to study or relax. I would rather stay here, where my mind is focused on something else.”
“I know what you mean,” he leaned his body back, his eyes staring something beyond what you could see. “I support you distracting yourself, but this won’t go away just because you’re ignoring it, you know? Are you sure you’re ok?”
Being ok was a concept you weren’t sure about the past few days. You wanted to be ok, to look ok to everyone around you, but it was hard. You were just faking until you made it. The PhD program was starting to wear you off, and even though you loved it, the thoughts of giving up were taking every single inch of your notes and books.
But what would be your excuse to leave it unfinished when numbers, probabilities and hours of understanding the impossible things were half of your life at this point?
“Did I hit my head or something? Do you have a fever? Why are you being nice to me?” You swiftly tried to change subjects.
“We’re on a truce, remember?”
“Maybe we could be on good terms again,” you suggested. “I mean, if you ever eat my cupcakes again, Bobby will need to hire a new firefighter.”
“So we’re good?”
“We’re good.” Your screen lit up with a notification. “Eddie is gonna be stuck with an emergency, but Carla is on her way to the house. Should we just go?”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll go get him and then we drop him off.”
“Great.”
Chris black out as soon as Buck started the drive back to the Diaz house. The radio volume was low, and the orange and pink tones of the sunset were being replaced by the dark blue of the night. You found it hard to keep your eyes open for too long, and only noticed you took a nap when Chris was calling for your name, wanting to say goodbye before going inside.
“Thank you for today, Brains!” He hugged you, and it made everything worth it. “Can we do this again soon?”
“We’re gonna chase all the dinosaurs in LA, I promise.” You gave him one last huge and walked back to the car, watching Carla and Buck talking by the front door.
And there you were, back in the car with Evan Buckley. If he wanted to make a comment about how he was right, he let it slide. You connected your phone and entered the address to your house on the GPS. He took your phone from your hands, declaring “Now that everyone in this car is over 18, we can play the good stuff.”
“Are you sure you are old enough? Give me that back, Evan!”
“Hey! I’m driving. And you challenged me. I’m gonna show you what I usually blast in my car.”
You expected anything from Evan Buckley, even the worst genre of music, but nothing prepared you for when you listened to the introduction of ‘You Give Love A Bad Name’ blasting through the speakers.
The playlist had completely changed and moved away from what you played when Chris was in the car. Bruce Springsteen, The Beatles, even a little of Led Zeppelin, just to enjoy some classics you never thought Buck appreciated. But he was more than just a firefighter with a sassy attitude, some wrongs and lots of muscle.
You look around, panicking a little when you notice you’re entering your building’s garage. You were definitely expecting to be dropped off at the front of the building. What the hell was going on?
“What… How did you get the access?”
“So, funny story. Maddie told you about the place, right?” He turned his head to check your reaction. “Well, I was the one that mentioned that a unit was available when I was complaining about my ex neighbor… So yeah, we are neighbors.”
“You’re annoying, you know that, right?”
“I thought Maddie told you.”
Well, she almost did, but she was interrupted by your neighbor himself that night. Shit.
“For how long did you know this?” You pointed to the garage and between you two.
“For a few weeks, when I saw your car after the cupcake incident.”
“I pledge the fifth.” You disconnected your phone from his car. Well, it would only get awkward if you walked to your apartment in complete silence, so you asked, “Wait, so you were texting and calling me from across the hall? You’re unbelievable.”
“What? If I knock on your door, you’ve got a restraining order against me.”
You left the car at the same time, and walked to the elevators.
“I bet I could convince Sergeant Grant to arrest you.”
“You’d make her dreams come true.”
Same elevator, same floor. You took opposite directions: his place was to the left, yours to the right, on the corners of the building, just one unit between you. You waved him goodbye and entered your home. To your right, your kitchen and dinner table. The glass doors to your balcony were opened — your mistake when you left in a hurry that morning — and it felt more like home than you expected.
Under the stairs, your notes and books were scattered. Sundays were for studying and writing the thesis. Your gray couch held the books you were searching the other day, too busy to put them back in the high and long bookshelves you had on the wall. Your television was the least used electronic in the place.
You walked upstairs and threw yourself in the bed. Maybe you should’ve picked up his calls before, but now it wasn’t a problem anymore.
author's note: are we watching the beginning of their friendship? I THINK SO! yes, i love a slow burn, but i swear it's gonna be worth it, ok? hope you're enjoying this series as much as i am. also: i published a blurb, so check the series masterlist bc i kinda loved it, not gonna lie. ALSO, my lovely friend, casey, made a playlist for the series. just check the masterlist! see yall next week!
#evan buckley fanfic#evan buckley#evan buckley x reader#evan buckley x you#9 1 1 abc#9 1 1 fanfiction#evan buck buckely#buck fanfiction#evan buckley imagine#effie writes
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CHAPTER 2!!
A few hours had passed, Dean woke up all confused, not recognizing the house he was in, only because whenever he used to hangout with Bobby it was never at his house.
He got up slowly, placing his hand over his head since it was pounding like it had been hit by a hammer. The boy opened the window quietly and jumped out, he began wandering around looking for a way to get as far as he could from this place, and that's when his eyes caught a beautiful mesmerizing car. It was a 1967 black chevy impala. His eyes teared up as he slowly traced his fingers all over it remembering the wonderful times him and his family spent in it. He opened up the door and got inside and realized that he did not have the keys.
"I must have left them inside" he whispered under his breath.
The winchester jammed up the car and drove off, not even understanding how he managed to do that.
The house went back to being completely quite. Bobby had grabbed a bottle of beer and was ready to give it to Dean but once he opened the door, the room was empty, no sign of Dean or anyone ever being in the room. The bottle dropped from his hand and covered the floor with glass.
"Oh Dean you idjit" he said in a worried tone.
°•°•°•°•°•
The now ex hunter kept on driving while enjoying baby with his favorite music blasting and the wind caressing his soft hair. After a short period of time Dean started feeling sleepy, but he kept on driving...Until suddenly someone jumped in the middle of the road without giving the winchester any chance to stop the vehicle. His naive self got out of the car and slowly approached the mystery person, she was all covered in blood and unconscious. Petrified Dean reached out for his phone to dial 911 and before he knew it the mystery woman had her arms wrapped around his head and her teeth stuck inside his neck.
°•°•°•°•
Few hours later, the poor guy aroused with his neck stained in blood and his arms tied above his head.
"well well well if it isn't the famous Dean Winchester the big bad hunter"
someone spoke up from behind the shadows.
"do you know for how long my pack and i have been trying to get both you and your brother here?" she added as she came into the light.
"I don't know who you are or what you want but i think you have the wrong person
please let me go" Dean begged.
"ooh your brother's death must-have hit you like a brick- but oh well i could never imagine one of my family members being stuck with Lucifer in a cage" she added in a mocking tone.
"i don't have a brother" the brown haired man whispered softly.
"Look i don't know what kind of trick you're playing but it ain't working and you're not leaving this place with a single drop of blood in that beautiful body of yours" she exclaimed as she traced her fingers over his neck.
"usually our victims endure a quick death but you- oh well it's not everyday I get to devour the blood of a winchester! so make yourself comfortable" the creature uttered before sucking her teeth into Dean's neck and knocking him unconscious once more.
°•°•°•°•°
"Come on boy pick up your phone" Bobby muttered anxiously as he paced around in the living room.
"oh for fuck's sake Castiel get your ass down here right now."
"what happened" the angel asked as he appeared out of thin air.
"Dean is missing" the hunter replied angrily.
"what do you mean missing?" castiel demanded with his head slightly tilted to the left.
"missing as in he left the house and fucking disappeared and hasn't been answering his phone" Bobby shouted as tears began to fill inside his tired eyes.
"you were supposed to keep an eye on him"
cas added.
"you listen to me castiel if you don't help me find Dean in the next twenty four hours i swear to god i am sticking an angel blade right into you angel heart got that????" the old man hallowed.
And so the trip of finding the last standing Winchester began.
#jensen ackles#spn#jared padalecki#sam winchester#sam and dean#dean winchester#castiel#demons#spn season 5#alternate universe
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BBC Merlin 10th rewatch thoughts compilation:
(this is also my first full rewatch since I was literally 18 so prefrontal cortex is notably more developed or whatever)
This is SO long and rambled because it’s for me and putting my thoughts down on my blog! But feel free to peruse bc I am just crying sobbing putting words down. Thoughts under the cut for spoilers <3
-fuck this show fr
-starting off strong with Angel Coulby you are the most beautiful woman and the most perfect Guinevere possible
-something interesting is how much more the lack of communication drove me bonkers this time around, like please just explain everything in detail to each other we could solve so many problems
-Merlin also seems like so much more of an ill-moraled character this go around? Like he is truly so morally grey and his logic for “should I do this” is deeply just “does it in any potential way benefit Arthur/the fuckass prophecy”
-TO THE POINT THAT he’s literally like Magic’s #1 Hater for five straight seasons AND can’t see that he is actively making the prophecy unfold every single time
-Gwen/Morgana gfs my angels I’m so sorry this happened to you
-Morgana should have had a friend so badly like one friend (not Morgause) would have saved her
-same exact sentiment for Mordred
-Merlin/Arthur and Merlin/Gwaine literally no comments
-actually this show invented polyamory and throuples would have saved many of you
-ON THE TOPIC Lancelot so badly is both Arthur and Merlin’s queer awakening in my heart. I do think Merlin likely already knew (Will) but I think his relationship to Lancelot made queer relationships seem feasible in some form
-I do not think Arthur knew at all and that’s why he looks so damn confused every time he interacts with Lancelot
-Lancelot is around for SO much less than I ever remember too he really is just stepping in to be pretty and complicate the narrative and then leave again
-Arthur needs glasses so severely I fear because I can excuse a lot of the missing magic moments but I watched Merlin lock eyes with him and use magic during that S5 dice game you can’t explain that one away
-Gwaine my beloved! Proof that a fictional man can be both a butch lesbian to the women in his life and a pansexual man to everyone else
-Morgana and Morgause…. This script is fruity as hell can we be for real. Both actresses said “yeah we played it a little queer” I fear the BBC was not brave enough to give Morgana an evil fucked up gf and went the Kill la Kill route
-I think by Elyan’s death all the knights fully must know that the ambiguous secret Merlin seems to have is in fact his magic and they are just choosing not to say anything out of respect for him (“he’s tell us when he’s ready”)
-EXCEPT: Leon doesn’t know. I do however think Leon just thinks Merlin is gay.
-Gwaine absolutely knows there’s literally no way around that one
-Gwen I feel also had an inkling that Merlin had magic, which I feel is supported by her and Gaius’ conversation in S5E13, I do also think she thinks he’s gay
-I also do think Merlin is gay
-I forgot how much of a through-line the joke that Merlin crossdresses is, it comes up at least three times
-tangentially related, the early friendship between Morgana and Merlin… I mourn u every day! The friends they could’ve been and how happy he was when he thought she knew he had magic (S1? When she thinks he has a crush on Gwen)
-also I forgot how much angst Merlin had about magic towards Gaius, several (justified) comments about how Gaius doesn’t understand what he’s going through
-also so so interesting is that I feel like in so many Magic Revealed fics, we write Arthur responding with shock & confusion & anger (which all rock big fan), but in the finale, once he understands that Merlin is so for serious a sorcerer, he’s just so scared of him?? Which was crazy I don’t think that has sunk in before how scared he looks
-and then they start to get over it and we get the reminiscing about their fight from the first day they met where Merlin confesses to using magic and we get the devastating exchange “you cheated” “you looked like you were going to kill me!” “I should have”
-damn major nostalgia vibe killer from Arthur, DEVASTATING on this rewatch
-also S5E12 when Gwaine and Merlin and traveling through the valley of the fallen kings and get jumped by bandits and Merlin gets cornered and HOLLERS for Gwaine thank you BBC that one lives rent free in my head always
-fuck this dragon for real also because Merlin DOES kind of fail like none of the shit they planned for happened, they got pieces but so much more COULDVE worked out without this fuckass dragon whispering in Merlin’s ear every day Kilgharrah it’s on sight dude
-finally maybe the most sickening parallel I have to offer is S4E13 when Isolde is dying and she and Tristan are reminiscing on the plans they had that are obviously not going to happen anymore and she says “hold me”
-which obviously is striking a significant chord with Arthur as it spurs him to reconcile with Gwen (thank god everyone cheered)
-(also why was the full breadth of her enchantment never discussed back to miscommunication please she didn’t cheat on him like that justice for Gwen’s rep I’m sick)
-BUT ALSO! A season later in S5E13 we get Merlin and a dying Arthur with Merlin trying to explain that they have so much to do so Arthur can’t die, and Arthur says “just hold me”
-I will lose it every time about this one… watching half of a couple die and mourn the chance to live a life together and then mirroring that at your own death with the man you are unexplainably close and connected to
-also the “I’m going to say something I’ve never said to you before… thank you” had such a queer set up that even my parents thought it was going to be an “I love you” when we watched the show for the first time together in like 2014 so… it’s the Spanish supernatural finale dub in my heart
-I think that’s enough I’m just sick to my STOMACH over this show once again, obviously it’s a BBC show from 2009 so it’s not without criticism but it’s genuinely my favorite TV show I’ve ever seen without competition. There is a deeply clear allegory for queerness that has drawn in and continues to draw in queer fans constantly and keep the viewership active. I also just love so badly how campy and classic it is, it’s one of the few pieces of media I have in DVD because I fear so badly to lose it. BBC Merlin I love u what a brilliant and silly and devastating tv show from 2009
#bbc merlin#ugh it kills me every time#the dog I’m dogsitting it looking at me so sideways I swear I’m fine girl#I meant to finish it before I came into your home so sorry#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#guinevere#morgana pendragon
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Hey Nerdie!! Doing some Pedro Scout duties this weekend and I wanna know:
which Pedro Boy is your favorite to write/read for?
Have a great weekend!
xoxo
Me at how long this ask took, not only because I’ve been busy but also because this is such a complex question! 😭😭😭 Well for me anyway. Most people can give a simple answer 😆 Not Nerdie.
As far as reading for Pedro boys, I enjoy reading about all the Pedro boys, except Maxwell Lord. He gives me the ick. Everyone else I'll read in droves. I will say.... and don't tell the others, I may have three that I both enjoy reading and writing about:
Dieter Bravo - The crazy little trash panda who may indulge in drugs, booze, and mindless sex from times to times. Also has lots of crocs and robes. Because he's into so many things and people you can write him however you like. Weird? Sure!, Wild, of course!, Sad, yes! Artsy! Of course! All sorts of things. Dieter can be all the things you want and might need, he wants to be everywhere and no where at the same time. Confusing? Yes, but Dieter's a mystery that's a hell of a fun time to try and solve. 🤗
Din Djarin - The Mandalorian in all his Beskar clad glory. Stoic, yet his compassion runs deep, Din is perfect for those who want a soft touch or not. No kink shaming here - I myself may have written about that cool beskar against the skin. But Din is also a loving father and loyal friend which are wonder themes to be explored. He also is just a badass bounty hunter rolling around the galaxy earning credits. Many things. Many things for the lovely Din. 🥹
Frankie Morales - The most grounded in reality, a veteran just trying to make it work in both in life and over the fucking Andes! A pilot with a heart of gold, a filthy mouth that does wonderful things and gives us so, so so much to work with and curls that have your fingers wanting to twirl. He might be a bit too easily talked into things, but that's fine. Most of our fics (or mine) may have Frankie talking the reader into things or vice versa but don't be fooled. Our pilot can sweet us but also be stern and have a firm hand, just because. Sometime's Frankie may have an issue with drugs, other times he's a single father. @avastrasposts has a cowboy Frankie and I for one would like to see some chaps on the man. 👀
Special mentions:
A. Marcus Pike - The first Pedro character I wrote for. He is soft, not quite as soft as Dieter or one other character to be mentioned. But he loves food, music, basketball and love. So sweet, also looks great in flannel and jeans with his gun. Also the leather jacket. 🖤
B. Javier Peña - He grew on me. I wasn't always a huge Peña fan, but now that I've been writing him again, all he wanted to love on a special someone. And to fight crime, but we saw all that in Narcos. I enjoy Javi P smut, but even more than that, I like the soft Javi different writers give us like @javierpena-inatacvest and @undercoverpena The man's seen a lot of death, violence and darkness. Let him cuddle a bit after a stiff drink or with something else stiff. 😆 (Nerdie is horrible for that joke)
C. Javier Gutierrez - Tied with Dieter for the softest Pedro boy (in my opinion) but with a bit of a temper. Javi G is a teddy bear, cuddler, movie marathons, vacations and maybe secret room vibes. What's in that room is up to you. But those golden waves will forever say summer, warm vibes and an excellent shirt collection. Also random massages - I dunno why but I just see it (for all readers). Javi G will rub sunscreen, oil or whatever else you want him to on you. Just ask nicely or not, maybe he's into it in your fic. Other times Javi might be telling you what to do because he's got the money honey. Don't look a golden bear in his mustache too close unless you're gonna work hard for that marmalade. (I will not apologize to Javi G for the Paddington references. I enjoyed myself too much 🍯 He would want me to smile to stay bonita.)
D. Pero Tovar - He's grumpy, filthy, sore, hungry, looking at his friend William like he's insane because he is and just wants to get paid so he can get the hell out of here. Pero is an entire mood. Does all of it apply? No, mainly because we're not in the 11th century and thankfully I'm not friends with ponytail clad William. Pero in his time or ours, usually is still pretty grumpy, sometimes downgraded to annoyed or surly, but usually a man of few words and a scar over his left eye. It's fun to have him annoyed and have him maybe annoy people with his gruff personality. He makes me giggle.
Thank you so much for this ask and sorry again that it's late. I had a lot to say about each main man and the side ones. But they're not really on the side, more like side by side? Anyway,
Love Nerdie 💖
#Nerdie’s ask box#the long asks#it’s a great question#but I always feel so torn#fanfiction#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fanfiction#it’s not even that serious#but we’re serious about fanfics#except when we’re not 🤣
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#fuck if i know what drove me to make this#shadow the hedgehog#i need those like aspirational posters but theyre all pics of shadow like this to get through my day
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chiaki is such a good and interesting character. wish she was in a better game
#personal#do you ever wish danganronpa was better gkdjfjskkfks#literally the only interesting thing that the anime ever did. To Me. was make chiaki a real person#because if you just take the game on its own its basically. she was just a computer program. you cared about a person who wasnt real.#hajime fell in love with a computer isnt that fucked up#but. with the added context of her being a Real Person who Existed. and the reason the program looks like her is that deep down#they all just Wanted Her Back. like that fuckin HURTS DUDE#her death was the last straw it was the final thing. that grief is what drove them all into despair in the end#fuck the brainwashing bullshit. losing chiaki broke them.#like so few of them had anyone in their lives that just. unconditionally cared. without any strings.#but she Did. she loved them all so much. she wanted them all to be so happy. for themselves#and then junko drove them all into their own heads. and then she took chiaki away from them.#no wonder they didnt give a shit about anyone else’s lives. if this is a world that can take something as unconditionally caring and bright#as chiaki nanami and Break Her and Tear Her Apart and Throw Her Away. it doesnt deserve kindness. fuck humanity.#its definitely something they all have to reckon with for a Long time going forward#like. junko haunts the halls of the island’s facilities. but so does chiaki.#not nearly in the same way but shes there all the same#theres definitely a time early on when they finally feel up to talking about her and the other four are discussing who she was before#the Real chiaki yknow#and hajime has to be like. No I Know She Was Different. I Knew Her Too.#and just him having to tell the others that chiaki was basically his only friend when he was in the reserve course#they really have to mourn her twice. fuck dude
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one of my least favorite themes about the internet lately is non-american people complaining that americans are talking about american-centric issues on the internet and being like "nOt EvErYtHiNg ReVoLvEs ArOuNd YoU iDiOtS" and it's like. yeah buddy. that's why we didn't apply it to anywhere else in the world. we're talking about the specific issues we are facing as americans living in the states. the reading comprehension is atrocious
#like idk how to tell you that not every american you interact with is gonna be living a rich life in a mega mansion free from strife#the vast majority of us are living under a religious rule disguised as democracy with our own police force killing us in droves every day#your biased view of the states as this place with no pain and suffering is harmful and people are dying in our streets#and its always from these people who think they're communists who care about the collective good and i just. man. i don't understand#i don't understand the disconnect. we're a part of this conversation too the real issues we face are getting real people killed#especially when its coming from leftist non-americans to leftists americans. its like#you KNOW i don't support my country why are you berating me for talking about the real problems we're facing?#individual leftist americans don't make the policies that are killing other countries and i think those conversations are allowed to be two#separate entities without people screaming at us for talking about the atrocities we're facing just bc our government that we have lost#control of is doing things we do not consent or agree to#like fuck dude. americans are still PEOPLE#we are still SUFFERING#and to be clear this isn't to take away from suffering from anyone else this is specifically about when someone from the states complains#about something happening IN THE STATES and non-americans butt in to make a comment about it not being all about us like#baby WHAT#anyways whatever i'm tired i'm going to bed
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Watching central park is fun when youve watched shows that are bad and see concepts handled by them handled so much better
#case in point: Abby Tillerman is what Charlie Morningstar SHOULD have been#an almost naively optimistic kindhearted goofball who sees the good in everyone#but NOT to the point of being a total spineless pushover#she only takes rhe abuse for so long before she snaps at the person causing all of her grievances#and she doesn't continue to cling to 'theres good in you' because it doesnt matter whether or not theres good deep deep down#when your actions are always bad with no remorse#she calls bitsy bad#and calls her out on her shittiness#if hazbin hotel had the writing of central park it couldve been incredible#think about it both are adult cartoon musicals but only one actually pulls it off without being outrageously offensive and comically edgy#like how a teenager would write an adult show versus how an adult writes one#i put the rant down here cuz i dont want to actually summon the hazbins#theyre fucking crazy. did you know a group of nasty fanatics full on drove someone to suicide??? thats fucked up!!!!#i dont want that to happen to me cuz the crazy fans cant accept criticism of their show#IT COULD HAVE BEEN GOOD IT HAD SO MUCH GOING FOR IT AND THATS WHAT MAKES ME ANGRY#one last thing: redemption has to be wanted in order to be earned. you cant redeem someone if they dont WANT to change#that is what brings abby above charlie#she recognized a person who refuses to do anything that benefits others and realizes theres no changing that#and gets out#you can scrap and claw and fight all day but despite how much you yank the reigns on that horse you can not make it drink
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Oh my god
So 6 weeks or so ago BaldBastard tells us to get rid of the black supply tote, we're getting clear cube ones. Whatever.
The cubes are working surprisingly well, the sign holders fit perfectly in them, keeping it neat and tidy. Everyday supplies like tape, masks, and trash bags are in one, lesser used ones in another. Great.
Motherfucker shows up today and goes "you guys need a black tote. Like put the cubes in there. I don't know who told you to use those but you need the black tote."
BITCH IT WAS YOU!!! YOU FUCKING TOOK OUR TOTE AWAY! YOU FUCKING FORCED THE CUBES ON US!!! YOU!!
Then he was bitching ab how we need to liquidate more and it's like uh huh that's gonna work great until the liquidator tells us to stop sending him shit unless it specifically is in liquidation status bc they dont have the fucking money. You know, like what happened LAST YEAR.
AND he and FGM were like "you guys have a lot in the steel..." and RC and I went "no we dont! It's all basics! Trust me! Go look yourself!!!" And then they were like well pull from boxes then. Okay bitch so we're gonna have a full table of one item bc theres nothing fucking new.
I swear to god you could put an actual chicken in charge as our store manager and there would be no difference. No, it might actually IMPROVE.
#work talk#marquilla#and this was RIGHT as i was getting ready to leave my area for the day and i was like well that's tomorrows problem then bc im out ✌#most of what i have in boxes rn is shit i already have 3-4 facings of already like bitch....#and half the boxes under my table are empty anyway bc the baler is still broken and i dont want to make a shit bale pallet/ i need to use#the boxes as a placeholder so NewLady doesnt push the hanging rack shit under my table!#she has 4 table sections which is like idk 50-100ft? on one side. i have 1. and she gets sooo bitchy ab the childrens#hanging rack items being under mens like bitch thats how this WORKS that is how we did it before you came along! thats the agreement! gfy!#oh oh and BaldBastard asked who does what section and he goes i know Mar does childrens. that i have down [mentally]#and i was thinking and you better fucking never forget that you little bitch. im the only one who likes that section and is GOOD at it#RC (rightfully) threw the rest of the team under the bus though aggsgsgsgshs she was like well Mar and i are the only ones who do the#hanging rack most of the time. and no one bothers with basics but RC. we're all supposed to do the rack. im the only one who does the layout#last time our old teamlead did it she did it BACKWARDS drove me up the goddamn wall man#he was talking to rc and i separate from Newlady (the only other person he talked to) bc we were together at the time which is why she threw#them under the bus lmao
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[Talking in a golf announcer voice]
And now the man attempts to fit through the car window while mouthing along to Eye Of The Tiger— that’s a lot of meat to fit into one hole, but he makes it work hire effortlessly— onto the car roof now, a spectacularly performed pose by Ackles—
#supernatural#spn#jenson ackles#bloopers#what drove me to make this post? I don’t know!#Impala window haha#seriously how did he get out that window so fucking flawlessly#what kind of magic is this man doing#dean winchester
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