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mxtxfanatic · 1 year

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Jin Ling and the Curse of Escalating Abuse

Seeing the complex nature of the relationship between Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng, I wanted to cover the topic of escalating abuse of the uncle towards his nephew, as Jiang Cheng is abusive towards Jin Ling throughout the entire story but that abuse shifts as the story goes on. Note: this is not an essay about how abusive people can love their victims still. I know Jiang Cheng loves his nephew, but that love means nothing in the face of him continuously being the force that drives the young boy to danger. Love does not absolve abuse. Moving on: though many of the scenes I mention are gone over in multiple translations, I will only be using one source per scene for my argument, as none of them are worded radically different. I will, however, include the other translations under the cut for anyone who wants to see them for comparison.

In the early section of the novels, we learn two important bits of information about how Jin Ling views his maternal uncle, Jiang Cheng:

From as early as Jin Ling could remember, he had never seen Jiang Cheng’s face make the expression it was currently making. His uncle, who had led the distinguished Yunmeng Jiang Clan alone since the man had been young, had been cold, severe, and gloomy for years and years on end. Not a single lenient or merciful word left Jiang Cheng’s mouth if he could help it, nor was he ever willing to offer charity and kindness.

–Chapt. 23: Malice I, fanyiyi

Angrily, [Jin Ling] leapt onto his feet and pulled out his sword on the spot. “How dare you hit me! Even my uncle’s never hit me!”

Surprised, Wei Wuxian said, “Really? But doesn’t he say he’s going to break your legs all the time?”

“He’s just saying that!” Jin Ling raged.

–Chapt. 24: Malice II, fanyiyi

From Jin Ling’s perspective, his maternal uncle is always acerbic and never kind, but he has never been physically abusive to Jin Ling. Plus though he often threatens Jin Ling with physical abuse–threatening to break his legs or use Zidian on him–Jin Ling considers this all talk. In fact, Jiang Cheng’s abuse of Jin Ling stays firmly in the realm of verbal and emotional for most of the story. His most common insults to throw at his nephew are about Jin Ling appearing unworthy of his position as Jin (and Jiang) heir, in almost a mimicry of how Madam Yu would tell him that he was unworthy of being the Jiang heir in comparison to Wei Wuxian:

Frowning, he said, “Jin Ling, how much time are you going to waste? Do you need me to go over there and invite you back? Look at your sorry state—why the hell haven’t you gotten back up!?”

–Chapt. 7: Pride II, fanyiyi

“‘Fine’?” Jiang Cheng said. “You look like you took a tumble in a muddy ditch—you call that ‘fine?’ Aren’t you embarrassed to be wearing your clan’s uniform? Go back and change immediately! Out with it—what did you run into today?”

–Chapt. 23: Malice I, fanyiyi

He is also shown to have a bad habit of lashing out instead of expressing any emotion that could be considered nice, just like Jin Ling says:

Upon seeing that Jin Ling was fine, Jiang Cheng’s heart crashed back to earth like a boulder. Immediately furious, he said, “Didn’t you bring a signal? Don’t you know to fire it if you encounter something like this? Don’t try to show off! Come here!”

–Chapt. 10: Pride V, fanyiyi

And because of Jiang Cheng’s outward lack of concern for Jin Ling’s health and safety–prefering barbs over comfort–Jin Ling refuses to be vulnerable with him, keeping his fears, concerns, disappointments, and even positive emotions like relief to himself. Outwardly, he lashes out, just like he has learned to do from his maternal uncle:

Since Jin Ling hadn’t caught the soul eating maiden, he was also angry. “Wasn’t it you who told me I had to take the thing down no matter what?! You told me if I didn’t get it, I should never come see you again!”

–Chapt. 10: Pride V, fanyiyi

Annoyed, Jin Ling said, “I already told you, I didn’t run into anything! It was just a fall. The whole journey was a waste of time.”

–Chapt. 23: Malice I, fanyiyi

The one who called was Jiang Cheng, who stood near the edge. Still teary-eyed, as soon as Jin Ling saw his uncle, he immediately wiped his face, sniffing. He looked here and there and finally made up his mind to fly over, landing at Jiang Cheng’s side.

Jiang Cheng grabbed him, “What happened to you? Who did this to you?!”

Jin Ling rubbed his eyes roughly, refusing to speak up.

–Chapt. 84: Loyalty, exr

Who can blame him, though? Almost every life-threatening situation Jin Ling finds himself in is a direct result of Jiang Cheng’s cruelty towards him: from attempting to fight to goddess statue without calling for help, to ending up almost suffocated in the walls of the Nie Clan Saber Hall, and even to him winding up in Yi City:

Jiang Cheng’s next words were wrapped in thorns. “Why are you still standing there? Are you waiting for prey to rush toward you and stick themselves on your sword? If you can’t capture whatever’s living in Dafan Mountain, don’t ever come see me again!”

–Chapt. 8: Pride III, fanyiyi

It seemed that the boy hadn’t come to Qinghe alone. No surprise—at Dafan Mountain, Jiang Cheng had come to support his nephew, so why wouldn’t he come this time too? Only it seemed that the uncle and nephew had gotten into an argument in Qinghe Town, which caused Jin Ling to set off for Xinglu Ridge on his own.

–Chapt. 23: Malice I, fanyiyi

It turned out that, having tricked his uncle and released Wei Wuxian several days ago, Jin Ling had been worried that Jiang Cheng would actually break his legs, so he had decided to sneak off and disappear, intending to reappear in front his uncle only after Jiang Cheng’s temper had cooled.

–Chapt. 35: Flora III, fanyiyi

As much as Jin Ling wants to assure everyone that “that’s just how his uncle is” and show us how unbothered he is by Jiang Cheng’s behavior, he does actually fear the man. And with good reason to! Now let’s address the elephant in the room: Jiang Cheng very much so does want to be physically harm Jin Ling, and this almost always correlates to Jin Ling talking back/not listening to him. Take this scene from right after the juniors survive the goddess statue and Jin Ling reminding Jiang Cheng that he was the one who told the boy to either catch the beast on Dafan Mountain or never return to him:

Jiang Cheng wanted to slap the stinking brat so hard he’d fly back up his mother’s birth canal—but he did actually say those words. Since he couldn’t very well embarrass himself, the Clan Chief could only turn to sarcastically mocking the cultivators scattered randomly over the ground. “So what exactly thrashed all of you into looking so dignified?”

–Chapt. 10: Pride V, fanyiyi

The thing stopping him from slapping Jin Ling is the fact that Jiang Cheng publicly told the boy not to come back if he was not successful, and he has been publicly called out when trying to take Jin Ling to task. Being unable to swipe at the boy as he wishes, he then turns his attention to his disciples to punish, as they are lower than him in rank and therefore no one can chastise him on his unbecoming behavior. But once we get to the scenes where all social hierarchy and propriety break down–the second siege and Guanyin Temple–all hands are loosed:

Jiang Cheng forced himself to walk over to Jin Ling, grabbing him at once, “Did you get hurt?!”

Jin Ling’s breaths even smelled like rust, “I didn’t. I...”

Jiang Cheng immediately slapped him onto the ground, scolding, “You didn’t?! Then I’ll make you get hurt and teach you the lesson! You damn brat turning a deaf ear to my words?!”

–Chapt. 81: Loyalty, exr

Jiang Cheng shoved Jin Ling, who’d been holding him up helplessly, out of the way...

...With panic, Jin Ling stood in front of Jiang Cheng, “HanGuang-Jun! My uncle’s hurt...”

Jiang Cheng slapped him onto the ground, “Let him come! Am I scared of him?!”

–Chapt. 102: Hatred, exr

Social etiquette no longer exists in a life-or-death battle or hostage situation, so Jiang Cheng has no face to maintain in front of anyone else. But by this point in the story, Jin Ling has spent a considerable amount of time with two role models who do show him kindness, care, and support. He begins to crave that parental love he has been deprived of, starting from the second siege:

A few sect leaders clutched onto their sons, cautioning them, “When the corpses rush inside all at once, protect yourself and try to get out. Stay alive no matter what! You understand?!”

As Jin Ling heard this, he felt himself cringe, but somewhere deep down he hoped that his uncle would say something similar as well. He waited for a while, but nothing came from Jiang Cheng...

–Chapt. 81: Loyalty, exr

And when Jiang Cheng finally hits him for the first time, Jin Ling’s only reaction is to look towards wangxian:

He sat down, catching his breath as his eyes turned to the two sitting at the side of the Demon-Slaughtering Cave closest to the outside.

Both Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi were a mess.

–Chapt. 81: Loyalty, exr

Finally, all of the dysfunction in Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng’s relationship comes to a head in Guanyin Temple, the climax of the story. Jiang Cheng’s behavior escalates into physical violence towards his last living relative, while Jin Ling is no longer lashing out at his uncle in place of being vulnerable but is also no longer able to brush off Jiang Cheng’s cruelty as acceptable. He has had his entire worldview turned on its head, and out of that, realizes that he does not want to continue the cycle of abuse and hatred that Jiang Cheng tries to force him to inherit, but would rather follow the path of love and kindness that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have shown him is possible.

Jin Ling on Jiang Cheng’s personality:

For as long as he could remember, Jin Ling had never seen Jiang Cheng with such an expression. His uncle, who had single-handedly led the Jiang Clan of Yunmeng at a tender young age, was always cold and gloomy. He was merciless and never kind with his words.

–Chapt. 23: Malevolent Part 1: Running into Gunpoint, taming wangxian

From the beginning of his memory until now, Jin Ling had never seen such a look on Jiang Cheng’s face before. This uncle of his who led the prominent YunmengJiang Sect ever since a young age had always been cold and dark. When he spoke, he was willing to neither show mercy nor do good.

–Chapt. 23: Malice, exr

Jin Ling saying Jiang Cheng has never hit him before and is all talk:

Jin Ling stirred awake after a while. He rubbed his neck, which was still hurting, then angrily drew his sword and sprung up. “How dare you hit me! Even my uncle has never hit me before!”

Wei Wuxian was shocked. “Is that so? Doesn’t he frequently say that he will break your legs?”

Jin Ling raged, “He had never meant what he said!! You fucking cutsleeve, what do you want? I ...”

–Chapt. 24: Malevolent Part 2: Escape, taming wangxian

He was so angry that he jumped up and unsheathed his sword at once, “How dare you hit me! My uncle hadn’t even hit me before!”

Wei WuXian exclaimed, “Really? Doesn’t he say that he’ll break your legs all the time?”

Jin Ling fumed, “He’s only saying that! You damn cut- sleeve, what on Earth do you want? I...”

–Chapt. 24: Malice, exr

Jiang Cheng’s insults to Jin Ling:

He scowled, “Jin Ling, why are you wasting so much time? Do I have to come over to invite you back? You look like a mess now; why aren’t you getting up?”

–Chapt. 7: The Prideful Part 2: Wangji Finally Makes his Appearance! taming wangxian

He frowned, “Jin Ling, why did you linger for so long? Do you really need me to come and pick you up? Look at what a terrible situation you’re in right now, and get up!”

–Chapt. 7: Arrogance, exr

Jiang Cheng said, “Safe and sound? You look like you’ve been rolling around in the gutters, how is that ‘safe and sound’? Aren’t you ashamed to be wearing your family’s uniform? Hurry back now and get changed! Spit it out, what did you encounter today?”

–Chapt. 23: Malevolent Part 1: Running into Gunpoint, taming wangxian

Jiang Cheng, “Nothing wrong? You look like you just rolled around in a muddy ditch, and you say there’s nothing wrong with you! Don’t you think that it’s an embarrassment to be wearing your sect’s uniform? Hurry back and change into something else! Speak. What did you run into today?”

–Chapt. 23: Malice, exr

Jiang Cheng lashing out at Jin Ling in place of concern:

Jiang Cheng was greatly relieved when he saw that Jin Ling was not harmed. He immediately began to reprimand him. “Didn’t you bring the signals with you? Why didn’t you release it even though you were up against something like this? Were you trying to show off? Come over here now!”

–Chapt. 10: The Prideful Part 5: I’m Bringing This Man Back to the Lan Estate, taming wangxian

Seeing that Jin Ling was safe, Jiang Cheng finally calmed down. Quickly afterward, he scolded angrily, “Didn’t you bring signal firelights with you? Don’t you know to use them when you meet something like this? What are you pretending to be strong for? Scram over here!”

–Chapt. 10: Arrogance, exr

Jiang Cheng’s behavior pushing Jin Ling into danger:

Jiang Cheng then said in a scathing tone, “Why are you still standing there? The prey’s not going to stab themselves with your swords! If you can’t capture whatever’s on Dafan Mountain, don’t look for me again!”

–Chapt. 8: The Prideful Part 3: Discovering His Good Looks After Cleaning Up, taming wangxian

Jiang Cheng turned again, his words covered with thorns, “Why are you still standing there? Waiting for the prey to come and throw itself onto your sword? If, today, you don’t catch the creature hunting Dafan Mountain, don’t come to me ever again!”

–Chapt. 8: Arrogance, exr

It turned out that Jin Ling didn’t come to Qinghe alone. That wasn’t surprising; previously, Jiang Cheng had also provided him with back-up on Dafan Mountain, so why wouldn’t he be here this time? However, from the looks of it, the uncle and nephew probably had an argument in Qinghe, hence Jin Ling had trekked up Xinglu Ridge alone.

–Chapt. 23: Malevolent Part 1: Running into Gunpoint, taming wangxian

It appeared that Jin Ling didn’t come to Qinghe alone. Well, no wonder. Last time, at Dafan Mountain, Jiang Cheng had been there to assist him, so why wouldn’t he have come this time? However, looking at this now, it seemed that the two had a quarrel in the town of Qinghe, which was why Jin Ling went up the Xinglu Ridge alone

–Chapt. 23: Malice, exr

It turned out that a few days ago, after Jin Ling had sent Jiang Cheng away on a lie and released Wei Wuxian, he was worried that his uncle might really break his legs this time around. Hence, he decided to sneak out and disappear for a couple of weeks, then reappear when Jiang Cheng’s anger had subsided.

–Chapt. 35: Foliage Part 3: The Paper Effigies Shop and Glutinous Rice Porridge, taming wangxian

Ever since a few days ago, after Jin Ling lied to his uncle and let Wei WuXian go, he had been worried that this time Jiang Cheng would really break his legs, so he decided to sneak out and disappear for a few days, not appearing in front of Jiang Cheng until his anger subsided.

–Chapt. 35: Grasses, exr

Jin Ling refusing to be vulnerable with Jiang Cheng/lashing out:

Jin Ling was furious that he failed to capture the soul-eating fairy, and retorted, “Didn’t you say I had to capture it at all costs? And that I shouldn’t return to you empty handed!”

–Chapt. 10: The Prideful Part 5: I’m Bringing This Man Back to the Lan Estate, taming wangxian

Jin Ling was also angered from not capturing the soul- consuming goddess, “Weren’t you the one who told me that I have to catch it? And, if I don’t catch it, I shouldn’t go see you?”

–Chapt. 10: Arrogance, exr

Jin Ling said impatiently, “I’ve already told you that I didn’t encounter anything. I slipped and fell. It was a wasted trip. Ouch!” He yelled, “Don’t you drag me around like this! I’m not three years old!”

–Chapt. 23: Malevolent Part 1: Running into Gunpoint, taming wangxian

Jin Ling replied impatiently, “I already said that I didn’t run into anything. I tripped, and it was a waste of time. Ow!” He shouted, “Don’t tug on me like that! I’m not three-years- old!”

–Chapt. 23: Malice, exr

The voice that had called out earlier had belonged to the man standing at the head of the ship, none other than Jiang Cheng. Between tears, Jin Ling peered out and upon seeing his uncle, he abruptly stopped crying and quickly rubbed away his tears. Sniffing slightly, he looked around, clenching his teeth as he quickly flew over to Jiang Cheng’s side. Jiang Cheng grasped Jin Ling’s shoulders in alarm, asking, “What happened to you? Who bullied you!”

Rubbing his eyes forcefully, Jin Ling remained silent.

–Chapt. 84 Loyalty: Little Friends, chiaki_himura

The voice earlier had come from Jiang Cheng. Jin Ling’s eyes were misty with tears. Hearing his uncle’s voice, he immediately wiped his face clean, sniffed his nose, looked back and forth between the two ships, and then finally decided to fly over. The second Jin Ling landed besides him, Jiang Cheng had his hands on him, “What’s wrong? Who bullied you?!”

Jin Ling wiped at his eyes hard, but refused to speak.

–Chapt. 84: “Core” Part 6, boat-full-of-lotus-pods

Jiang Cheng wishing violence on Jin Ling:

Jiang Cheng wanted to slap this kid so hard that he would be forced back into his mother’s womb. However, these were his very own words; how could he take them back?

–Chapt. 10: The Prideful Part 5: I’m Bringing This Man Back to the Lan Estate, taming wangxian

Jiang Cheng seriously wanted to slap the rotten brat so hard that he went back inside his mother’s stomach. However, he really did say so himself, and he shouldn’t prove himself wrong.

–Chapt. 10: Arrogance, exr

Jiang Cheng physically harming Jin Ling:

Jiangcheng limped quickly towards Jin Ling, grabbing him his shoulders with both hands as he said angrily, “Are you hurt!”

Breathing heavily, Jin Ling murmured, “No, I......”

Jiang Cheng had landed a slap on Jin Ling’s face as he berated, “No?! If you’re not hurt then let me give you something to hurt about! You rascal, turning a deaf ear to my words now, aren’t you?!”

–Chapt. 81 Loyalty: Corpses of the Burial Mound, chiaki_himura

Jiang Cheng limped towards Jin Ling, grabbed him and yelled, “Are you injured!”

Even Jin Ling’s laboured breaths were tainted with the smell of blood, “No, I…….”

Jiang Cheng immediately slapped him onto the group, “No?! Then take this as a reminder for what you just did! Do my words mean nothing to you, you little shit!”

–Chapt. 81: “Core” Part 3, boat-full-of-lotus-pods

Jiang Cheng pushed away Jin Ling who had been supporting him, and despite having lost so much blood, his face remained flushed with anger as he roared, “How could you?! Wei Wuxian, how could you?!”...

...Lan Wangji stood up furiously as Jin Ling leapt in front of Jiang Cheng again, trembling as he begged, “HanGuang-Jun! My uncle is injured......”

Jiang Cheng struck a blow on Jin Ling, causing him to stumble to the ground.

–Chapt. 102 Hatred: I’m Sorry, I Swallowed My Words, chiaki_himura

Jin Ling wanting to hear kind words from Jiang Cheng:

Several sect leaders grabbed onto their offspring, urgently directing them, “When the corpses rush in, you have to protect yourself and find a way to escape. You must stay alive no matter what! Do you understand?!”

Hearing the desperation in the parents’ voices, Jin Ling felt a pang of sadness. Deep down, he had hoped that perhaps Jiang Cheng would also say this to him, but however long he waited, nothing came out of it...

–Chapt. 81 Loyalty: Corpses of the Burial Mound, chiaki_himura

Various Sect and Clan Leaders had grabbed their own sons, warning, “When the corpses rush in, you will protect yourself, and find a way to escape! You must survive no matter what happens! Do you understand me?!”

Hearing this, a sourness churned within Jin Ling. A part of him longed to hear those same words from his own uncle. But after waiting for a few, long moments, Jiang Cheng showed no sign of speaking up.

–Chapt. 81: “Core” Part 3, boat-full-of-lotus-pods

Jin Ling looking to wangxian for comfort:

After taking the blow, Jin Ling couldn’t stand any further and sat onto the ground heavily, breathing deeply as his eyes travelled to the silhouettes of the two people sitting closest to the entrance of the cave.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were a mess.

–Chapt. 81 Loyalty: Corpses of the Burial Mound, chiaki_himura

Yet Jiang Cheng* himself had no energy left to stand after giving this slap. He sat down heavily, breathing hard as he glared at the two figures closest to the mouth of the Demon-Crouching Cave.

Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi were a mess.

–Chapt. 81: “Core” Part 3, boat-full-of-lotus-pods

*boat-full-of-lotus-pods is the only translation of the three I have of Chapt. 81 that says that Jiang Cheng is the one who looks at wangxian. Both exr and chiaki_himura say that this is Jin Ling.

#human reads mdzs: take 2 #human metas mxtx #omfg this was long #also i thought about using every jl/jc interaction #but that is just too goddamn long #if you want to know how many times jc threatens jl with physical violence #you'll have to look that up on your own #i only took pertinent info from major arcs #canon jiang cheng

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deadmenandthedivine · 4 months

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DEAD MEN § THE DIVINE

chapter sixteen: relearning from the same mistakes

Maetilda Targaryen, First of her Name, was supposed to be many things. What she became was entirely different.

table of contents

trigger warning!!! this fic contains many graphic topics and depictions. such as but not limited to: dead parents, abusive parents, toxic family systems, incest, medieval misogyny, forced marriage, threats of assault (sexual § physical), actual assault, imprisonment, kidnapping, murder, blood/gore, uxoricide, familicide, disassociation, thoughts of self harm and annihilation, PTSD and other neurodivergence. i will do my best to update as i go along, but please let me know if i have missed anything!

word count: 3953

Aemond acted tough and unphased, but Maetilda could tell that he was reeling on the inside. His jaw was clenched, shoulders were tight, and a firm, stoic expression never left his face. When she managed to catch his eye, she could see it all. Fear, overwhelming fear. They had arrived after the others, after Maetilda’s brothers had been bandaged up, but it did nothing to calm him. Shaking like an autumn leaf, she stood behind her betrothed and ran her fingers through his long tangled hair. His promises from earlier still rang in her ears. She thought of her home that would truly be hers. The thousands of ravens they would send back and forth. The visits she would have to see both him and Helaena. The tower she would build for him. Their future. Had she been a fool to think such fantasies could be real? Had she been a fool to trust the words of a Hightower? Had she been a fool to not listen to her father more closely? Certainly, her father would not let any marriage happen now. Maester Orwyle looked over Aemond’s various bruises and angry knuckles with a careful eye. The old man had already examined Maetilda’s scalp and her various scratches, per the request of the King’s second son, and had applied ointments and oils to hurry along the healing. Aemond’s bruising had only darkened with time. The worst one was on his back, close to his spine. Likely where he had been kicked.

No one was allowed to withdraw from the room until the Queen and Princesses Rhaenys and Rhaenyra were aware of the incident. Jacaerys, Baela, Lucerys, and Rhaena sat in a corner across from the pair. The boys both wore bandages of their own, nose dressing for Jace and a splint for Luke’s leg. But not a hair was out of place on the twins’ heads. Not even Baela’s. A part of Maetilda itched as she thought of the small pockets of opportunity she had to grab and pull, to make Baela look just as feral and unkempt.

“Maetilda, to your chambers. Now.” Prince Daemon sneered, barely crossing the threshold of the door before he spoke.

“Now?“

“I heard all I needed to hear. Get away from that boy. Go pack your things.”

“Prince Daemon, stop! As Queen, I declare that no one shall leave until I have given approval!” Queen Alicent asserted immediately upon her entrance.

She rushed forward, placing her hands on her second son’s shoulders in an outstretched embrace. With all the seriousness in the world, the royal woman studied his face. Looking him straight in the eye. Not once did she glance up at the princess who hovered behind them. Instead, Alicent waited for her son to give her a firm nod before she turned back around to face Daemon. Maetilda felt her entire body switch back into alert mode at the sight of her father’s hand on the hilt of his sword. He threw all of his weight onto one foot, jutting out his hip with attitude. He looked at his goodsister with bitter disgust. If not for the presence of Maester Orwyle — who would undoubtedly write his perspective of events in the histories — the princess had no doubt he would have spat at the woman’s feet, cursing her title and her name and the very idea that a Hightower would have any power over him.

“The King! Where is he?! Bring him here!” The old prince bellowed to the Kingsguard. But none of them moved.

The Queen’s eyes narrowed in challenge, “He is in bed, where he will stay. He is not well.”

“Horseshit!”

“My patience for your outbursts is wearing thin, Prince Daemon.” A threat.

Instead of showing fear, the Rogue Prince smirked, “What will you do about it, your Grace?”

“Luke! Jacaerys!” Rhaenyra’s panicked shout made it to the room before she did. Rhaenys trailed in right behind her.

“Girls.” The Queen that Never Was sighed in relief before rushing forward to hug her granddaughters.

Princess Maetilda watched the women joyfully reunite with her siblings. Warm hugs, kisses, doting examinations of their wellbeing. She couldn’t help the jealousy that sat in her heart. Of course she would never have what the rest of her siblings had. She wasn’t deserving of it. From the day they were born, they were better than her. It was a secret that her parents were not good at keeping. But she loved them anyway. All of them. Better or not, she had always thought that they were good. That they had everyone’s best interests at heart. Yet as the little green monster sat on her shoulder, she found herself questioning those beliefs for the first time. How could they turn on her so quickly? Especially when she was trying to act honorably. Was it truly that easy for them? The Maester’s solar grew deathly silent as the regal four — Queen Alicent, Princess Rhaenyra, Prince Daemon, and Princess Rhaenys — turned to face each other. It felt all too familiar. They were just missing the King, Lord Corlys, and an audience of funeral guests. The hair on Maetilda’s arms stood up straight. It was as if she saw double, living both the past and the present at once.

“I’m calling off the wedding. It is clear to me that the one eyed boy is a savage! I will not have him tainting my bloodline.” Daemon was the first to start.

“Careful! There is a black cell waiting for you.” Alicent retorted.

“Bring my brother here! Let me speak with him!”

“Daemon, you will not call off the wedding.” Rhaenyra stepped forward, shaking her head.

“Look at her! She has already sided with him!” Baela interjected, pointing directly at the eldest of the three.

Rhaenys grabbed her arm to silence her, “I see the state of your sister. The fingers are not necessary. Rhaena, tell us what happened.”

“We were in the training yards. Luke and Jace were showing us how much they had improved in sparring because Baela had mentioned how she thought a dragon rider should be able to hold their own if challenged. The boys had offered to teach us, but we did not think they would be sufficient enough.”

Daemon smirked proudly at his second daughter upon hearing the younger twin’s words.

“They were about to let us try when Maetilda, her knight, and Aemond tried to sneak past us. Unnoticed. In the training yards. Baela called after them, started asking questions, and they got defensive. At first, I thought we were all joking, but then the insults started. Before I knew it, Jacaerys’ nose was broken, and Baela and Maetilda were on the ground. I tried to stop them!”

“Ser Wyllam ran to fetch the Kingsguard to help split them up.” Ser Criston added.

Prince Daemon glared at his eldest daughter. His feet moved to start towards her before Queen Alicent spoke, stopping him in his tracks again, “Who started the insults?”

“Baela,” Aemond and Maetilda answered simultaneously.

“Aemond!” The other four chorused louder.

“It doesn’t matter who started it. These grudges must be thrown to the wolves. It is what the King wants!” Rhaenyra shook her head.

Maetilda asserted herself with crossed arms, “Aemond and I were going to the Dragonpit, to see where Shrykos would stay, when we were interrupted. Baela taunted Aemond, to which he countered. When Jace and Luke inserted themselves, the taunts turned into insults which turned to blows. I only fought Baela because she was about to jump on Aemond’s back while the boys were already having exchanges. Who knows what the three would have done with collective force? That is what happened.”

The adults in the room looked at her in shock. For once in her life, the princess knew without a shred of doubt that she had not said too much. Her chest warmed knowing she had said just the right amount. The Queen was the first to react, moving over to Maetilda to take her future gooddaughter’s hands in her own.

“Thank you, Princess.”

“I shall take the boys back to Dragonstone.” Rhaenyra nodded to herself resolutely, “I shall return alone on dragonback, along with Shrykos, to continue our plans. Daemon will care for the children in my stead.”

“Over my mother’s grave would I leave my eldest daughter here with that conniving, ruttish codpiece! If I shall leave, Maetilda will come with me.”

“For what reason must she go with you?” Aemond challenged, not moving from his chair.

Prince Daemon laughed, “You do not fool me, boy. I know you wait for my back to turn. You wish to take what you see as yours.”

“Princess Rhaenyra, there is no need.” The Queen shook her head, “Please, you must stay.”

“I will stay. After I know my sons are out of trouble in Dragonstone.” Rhaenyra replied.

“Let us try having everyone again. After the next moon. Give them a little over a fortnight to change their tune, to see reason. The children must not be squabbling when the guests arrive.” Alicent suggested, “As you said, it is what the King wants, for the children to get along.”

“Yes, alright. When the Worm Moon is full, we shall try again.” The heir to the throne agreed.

Prince Daemon grumbled, rolling his eyes, “Worm moon.”

He angrily shifted his weight from foot to foot before he practically spat in Maetilda’s direction, “You shall not stay in this damn castle without me.”

“Quiet your hysterics, Daemon. Maetilda will be safe with me.” Rhaenys spoke up. “The twins will go back to Dragonstone as well until I can deliver my goodnephew’s body back to Driftmark. They should stay in a livelier keep before Vaemond’s funeral.” The Rogue Prince unabashedly chuckled as she continued, “I will see to correcting their behavior on my own.”

“It’s settled then. Have the ship readied. We shall leave on the morrow.” Rhaenyra declared, words booming authoritatively without having to shout.

The King’s only brother grabbed his wife by the arm and pulled her aside, but she was quick to pull herself free. Rhaenyra scurried back to her sons, enveloping them in her embrace. She whispered things into their ears. They nodded. Maetilda’s heart hurt as she watched them, with almost owlish eyes.

Speaking loud enough for the room to hear, Rhaenyra smiled sweetly when she turned back around to Daemon, “Husband, don’t you think it is time to go check on the little ones?”

It was the opposite of what Maetilda had expected to hear. Her father seemed taken back as well, but only briefly before he reset the expression in his face. He would rather his head sit on a spike for an entire summer under the unforgiving sun than allow the room to know of his shock. He would not be phased so easily.

“Certainly! I am sure the Queen has called for one of their eyes in our absence.”

“Daemon!” Rhaenyra scolded, “I will sew your mouth closed if I must.”

The Rogue Prince’s eyebrows rose in interest as a smug, devious grin slowly overtook his face, “I would love to see you hold me down, wife.”

“A sentiment we did not need to know. I’m sure you all have packing to do.” The Queen nearly tapped her foot with impatience. A hint that the discussions were over.

The room seemed frozen. Like the smallest movement would break the tension and open the largest can of worms the world had ever known. Yet she felt the pull anyway. What was Aemond thinking? Was he disgusted with her father? Was he relieved their engagement had not been called off? Before the princess by title could turn to look at him, Aemond had already sprung out of place. Pushing passed her without so much as a glance. The Queen came up beside her and grabbed the princess’s hand in hers. Together, the two wistfully watched after the King’s second son as he disappeared out of the room. His footsteps carried off down the corridor. The Queen’s hand did not serve the comfort it was supposed to. Instead, Maetilda only felt trapped.

“Boys, I shall see you at dinner. Go.” Rhaenyra ordered her sons.

“To your chambers, girls. I shall collect each of you in time for our meal.” Rhaenys nodded to the twins.

As the group of four made their own exit, the adults remained still. Maetilda locked among them in the cold grip of Queen Alicent. The tension was thick. Far hotter and stickier than the humidity outside. The princess’s heart pounded in her chest, overtaking the sound in her ears. Her hand was undoubtedly sweaty, but the Hightower Queen’s hold did not loosen even for a moment. Maetilda was completely stiff, body tensed in preparation for whatever came at her next. Which just so happened to be her father. Rhaenyra let him out of her sight to exchange a few words with Rhaenys. Free of supervision, the first thing he did was march up to his daughter. Eyes completely ablaze despite the soft smile on his face. If his daughter had been Vaemond, she would’ve already been chopped in two.

“Bested by your little sister?” Daemon taunted his eldest.

“I never wanted to win. Only to make it even.”

“Of course, your goodmother shall have such a lovely time trying to keep your reason about you.” He sighed, “I do wish you the best of luck, your Grace.”

“I am not surprised, Prince Daemon. Only girls with your spirit would behave so...” Queen Alicent replied.

He cocked his head to the side in challenge as her highness searched for the correct adjective. “Forget not, once your husband is dead, my wife inherits his throne. You sit comfortably now, but you are no Targaryen.”

“And yet, three of her sons shall carry on the name. One of which will do so through your daughter.” Rhaenys butt in as the two grown princesses joined the other three.

“There is no certainty the pignut can sire children.” Maetilda’s father spat. His face as red as the finest ruby.

The Queen cleared her throat, “Forget not, my prince, it is a mercy you still have your tongue given the treason that ceaselessly rolls off it. What better proof of my love for your brother! May my care of your daughter serve as further proof.”

“Trust that I shall hear everything.”

He hinted to moles of his own. Throughout both the Red Keep and King’s Landing, my father had sympathizers. Yet the princess did not know of many who know how to read or write in order to send a raven. Unless the messages were delivered personally, which would not be ideal in emergencies. Outside of the mysterious other informants that she could barely begin to understand. Had he always had them? Even when they lived in Pentos? Beyond that of servants, who else could they be? As long as the princess remained at the Red Keep, there were always her knights. Only Ser Wyllam was known to tell her father anything, that much the princess was sure of. But hearing of multiple informants made her itch. She knew her men well. Didn’t she? Certainly well enough to not question them in a moment like that, but apparently not. As she stood shell shocked, Maetilda cursed herself. She was weak of body and mind, proving everything her father had ever said about her true. She was pathetic and stupid and a traitor to their family. Her brothers and sisters hated her. Never in her life had she ever seen them so angry. At least, that angry at her.

The only time they had been that ravenous had been the night that Aemond lost his eye. It was as if it still continued to play out right before her eyes. As if the sun had never come up the next morning and she never left Driftmark. Still the tallest out of all the royal children, young Aemond had come back inside after sneaking out to claim Vhagar as his mount. He was the only one out of his siblings, besides baby Daeron, who did not have a dragon to call his own. Both Jace and Luke had one each, even though the creatures had not been big enough to mount. The four boys had always been competitive — Aegon, Jacaerys, Aemond, and Lucerys. Although it usually resulted in the three others ganging up on Aemond. They mocked him mercilessly. It was only natural that he silenced their taunts for good by claiming the largest mount of them all. But having been the old faithful companion of Lady Laena Velaryon for as long as her daughters could remember, it had been assumed that Baela would inherit Vhagar — not Aemond. Baela, herself, had never claimed a mount either. As if she were waiting for her turn with the legendary dragon. Only for her years of patience to be crushed in a single evening. Baela never forgave him. Not completely. Perhaps she would never forgive Maetilda either. Perhaps instead of bridging the gap in their family, they had burnt any remnants of the bridge that lingered.

“Trust that your threats do nothing, but make me laugh.” Queen Alicent was firm, standing her ground.

“Careful not to strain your side.” Daemon snapped

Princess Rhaenys daintily cleared her throat,“I do believe we could all use a good laugh after this afternoon. Your Grace, might I suggest tea with the fools? Perhaps a bard performance in the gardens?”

The Rogue Prince groaned in frustration, “I have had enough.” He turned abruptly on his heels to storm out, mumbling obscenities about the frivolousness of highborn women, only stopping in the doorway to tell his wife, “I shall see you at dinner, Rhaenyra.”

With that, only the four remained. Aside from Maester Orwyle who had remained a silent spectator throughout the entire ordeal. He had not said a word that did not have to do with the injuries at hand. He was smart. If there was one thing Maetilda had learned in all her years, it was that silence was often the safest. With enough people in the room, one could hide in it. Which is exactly what the maester had done, and the princess-by-title wished she could have. But that possibility vanished the minute she had collided with her sister. The more time the princess had to think, the more she wished she had second guessed her actions in the training yards. Had she butted into their back and forth sooner, been more firm in de-escalation, could they have avoided everything? She should have said something. She should have stopped them. She wished she had done more. And done less in other places.

Upon her father’s exit, the rest of the four visibly relaxed. Their shoulders dropped in unison as they all collectively released the air held in their lungs. The three older women shared a look that the youngest could not read. As if flocks worth of messages passed between their eyes. The princess-by-title could not remember a time the three had ever gotten along well — even Rhaenys and Rhaenyra only tolerated each other at best. She could not remember there ever being a time the three were close enough to communicate so intimately silent. But just as soon as their eyes started, they stopped.

“Maetilda, darling girl,” Rhaenys sighed aloud, “Please know you are not in trouble.”

“You have my utmost appreciation for your actions today.” Queen Alicent smiled.

Her words felt wrong. They filled her insides with more guilt and shame and paranoia. Maetilda could practically picture her father listening in from just around the corner. Waiting to punish her, to bring the boot down upon her head. Her muscles remained tense and tight in preparation. Only a fool would let their guard down. Princess Rhaenyra reached forward and tried to adjust the chaos on her daughter-by-marriage’s head, tucking a piece behind her ear, “Only a dragon could be as brave as you.”

“I am ashamed our argument came to blows.” Maetilda replied earnestly.

“We shall try again soon enough. Sooner than you realize. You’ll like it here.” Rhaenyra nodded.

The youngest took a deep breath to gather her courage before she spoke again, “Forgive me, but I don’t believe time apart is the answer. We all need to be locked in a room — no weapons or anything, perhaps tied to chairs — until we talk through our disagreements.”

“Enough damage was done today with hands and feet alone. You children said yourselves that this started from simple jokes. Being locked in a room would only result in more of the same.” Queen Alicent tucked a strand of hair behind Maetilda’s other ear, “This shall be for the best.”

“I shall return on dragonback before the next fortnight. We will plan your wedding and more! You shall be free of your father’s smothering! You will love it so much you won’t want them to return.” Rhaenyra agreed.

Maetilda laughed, “My father shall find a way to watch me.”

“He surely will.” Rhaenys chuckled, “Princess, may I walk you to your chambers? Both you and Baela should need a bath after rolling in the dirt like animals.”

The other two laughed as the four ladies all took their exit. Venturing off on their separate paths in pairs. Princess Rhaenyra made sure to remind her daughter-by-marriage of dinner before they both rounded different corners. Rhaenys calmingly ran her fingers along Maetilda’s arm as they walked. In the same way Lady Laena used to, back in the princess’s youth. Especially on evenings when she couldn’t sleep. Lightly across the skin with just the right amount of fingernail pressure. Princess Rhaenys kept pace on the outside in an attempt to keep her obscured from any passersby. For what felt like the first time that day, Maetilda could finally take in a full breath. Even as they walked up several flights of stairs.

“Please tell me you were holding back, Princess. Your sister looked far too scratch free.” Rhaenys smugly smiled.

“I pounced on her and had the upper hand for a moment!” Maetilda tried, but the look she received was not convinced. “Yes, I was not trying to hurt her.”

“Good. I figured as much.” The older princess laughed.

“I am very sorry. I know I should have—“

“Stop. I simply will hear none of that.”

“My father—“

“I know exactly what he thinks and what he is going to tell you. I don’t need to hear you tell me.”

Maetilda could not think of a proper response, one that would make the woman beside her happy. The younger princess’s mouth sat ajar, moving to form words she couldn’t fully commit to. “H-he’s just…”

“There is one thing I learned as a girl growing up in this castle that would do you good to learn.” Rhaenys did not speak condescendingly but in a way that suggested she hadn’t always been the woman she was known to be, “Each and every person in this world has a motive, a goal, a future they are working toward. Learn one’s motives and you shall never be surprised by their actions.”

The older princess’s words made Maetilda’s brain explode. She was so stunned, her legs got tangled in her skirts, causing her to stumble forward. If it weren’t for Rhaenys’s grip on her arm, the princess-by-title would’ve tumbled to the ground. She was practically in shock. All words left her mind again. Rhaenys was right, and Maetilda knew it. Every joint in her body agreed.

“How will I know that I am right?”

“When your head, your heart, and your gut all agree.”

A/N: Alicent and Rhaenyra are trying so hard to make things work! I also thought that the show needed to hint more toward tension in Daemon and Rhaenyra’s marriage before he assaulted her at Dragonstone over his own jealousy. So this is my trying to build toward that. They fundamentally disagree and there is tension and Daemon is reactionary. But in order to come into her own, Maetilda must overcome her biggest hater. Which is her father. I hope that comes across!

The pot is stirring though!!! If I do my job correctly, things should only get better from here baby B)

TAGLIST: @marvelescvpe your comment made me giggle and kick my feet and i appreciate you so much!! thank you! i missed you too!!

xoxo messy

#aemond targaryen #hotd imagine #house of the dragon #aemond one eye #hotd aemond #house of the dragon fanfic #aemond targaryen imagine #aemond x fem!oc #aemond x oc #aemond targaryen x fem!oc #aemond targaryen x ofc #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen x oc #prince aemond #aemond fic #dead men and the divine

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blackstarchanx3new · 6 months

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FSR Rambles 15 times Shadow took the kids

Dark's utterly confused face here sends me every time.

Because DARK knows that Shadow doesn't actually give a rats ass if he's okay. HOWEVER.

This is where Dark's weird understanding of lying comes in.

Because I have faith in you you can see right through Dark's clear lies.

His phrasing is ridiculous paired with his expression being deader than a fish.

Dark is lying through his teeth here and guess who taught him how to do that... :)

Vio and Shadow-

Vaati fell for it. Lmao. Not like he hasn't been betrayed before.

Shadow tries intimidation buuuuut-

Well shit that only goes so far when you haven't proved yourself to act on said intimidation.

Shadow is still afraid of Vaati, and we know from Zelda's fight with him Vaati isn't easy to kill soooooo.

Reasonably so I'd say.

Dark is saying what we've all been thinking "Lmao let's just pull out Vio and the McGuffin sword"

Lol wait- Oh yeah Vio can't because of Dark.

Haha. Woopsie.

Dark going to just deal with it himself and being reeled back by Shadow is sweet to an extent.

Dark's confused about what this physical interaction means, whether or not this counts as a hug. Because let's be real Vaati isn't something he considers as a threat rn what else is his mind gonna focus on?

Shadow's angry Dark's so reckless but Dark's unfazed by the entire situation.

It's sad to consider Dark probably assumes temper tantrums are a normal behavior considering how frequent everyone he's watched so far has em...Just a thought.

Ngl Shadow's use of the word "Fool" in the OG manga always got a laugh out of me. His dialogue is so evil villain I try to capture that in FSR Shadow.

Shadow wanted to try to formulate a plan with Dark to get Vaati to go away but Dark questions why they'd even do that. Flabbergasting the fuck out of Shadow.

Dark HAS no sense of people working with HIM. Obviously Dark would know what team work is since...He's literally watching the team work pride parade but no one has offered HIM team work.

Vaati just bosses him around after all.

Dark's thought process on how his existence works is on full display.

He's alone. He WORKS alone and no body but him is going to get things done. Thanks Vaati.

...There's also the angle to consider he's actually learned this behavior in some capacity from Link...Link HAS been doing this shit by himself for a long time now....

So Shadow offering help is smth that gives him pause.

In the last pane the motif of Dark Link being his own cheer leader/being generally self aggrandizing pops up again.

His wording just being odd aside, he doesn't communicate what he actually WANTS to do, just that he needs Shadow's help getting close...

and from the quotes around help and the knowledge Dark can move fast as fuck on the reader's side, it's implied Dark is just placating Shadow's idea of helping rather than Shadow being actually useful in this interaction. At least from Dark's perspective.

Shield is up boys RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.

Shadow points out reasonably Dark is not being a very good team mate. XDDD

Be nice to him Shadow he's new to this whole "Team" thing.

Panel 2 here is funny because Dark makes the most NON Dark Link expression it stands out particularly just because it's funny but also like, take note of what he called Vaati here.

He just called him "Vaati".

Not "Master Vaati" or "Lord Vaati"

Just Vaati... HMM.

He also flung himself at Vaati full force so there's that.

OH FUCK IT'S YAOI- Oh a serious note...

Prepare to get bamboozled.

Yeah there's a reason Vaati is fucking confused. Dark was taking another conversation out of context to try and comfort Vaati.

So if there was any doubt about if that was what Dark was doing or not: Let me put those questions to rest that is what he was trying to do. XD

The kiss particularly is funny considering...Well yeah Shadow did kiss Vio a lot.

Shadow being, reasonably flabbergasted at this interaction just gets a laugh out of me.

Vaati's got nothing to say that shit hah. Dark isn't making MUCH sense in this interaction.

Dark does show he's still loyal in some way to Vaati though.

Turns out: Vaati's just not in the mood to deal with Dark's nonsensical behavior and points out an...interesting caviat to the whole "let's recruit Dark link" plan.

They have to kill him.

In no uncertain terms, to destroy the curse would be to destroy Dark Link. So having him on your side really doesn't mean anything. As he'll do what he was created for by nature.

In a way it brings you to question how much free will Dark truly has in this equation. Also, it makes you kinda realize in a messed up way Dark and Link both suffer due to the curse. They're chained to each other on a drowning ship.

Shadow's hypocrisy on display again. He JUST helped this dude and now thinks about killing him. XD

But also: What's the answer to this?

It's a train track scenario in a lot of ways.

Also since Dark's a curse, destroying his body or hurting him won't do much good to actually get rid of the curse itself.

His body will just regenerate or he'll retreat into the headspace.

There's also the thought of, if Link died, what WOULD happen to Dark Link...

Dark is insanely hard to argue with. Because dude can read you like a book and play you like a fiddle.

You can't LIE to him and he'll speak how he feels based on what he's seen.

Like, Dark isn't even just slinging the "you're gannon" ace up his sleeve card at him. He's bringing up things Shadow himself has actually DONE. And that pisses Shadow off.

No matter how much Shadow removes himself from his past self, he still DID those things.

And it does bring to question which of these two are more "Moral".

Dark hasn't killed anyone while it's at least heavily implied in the manga Shadow at least COULD HAVE and shows the willingness to do so to Vio at least.

Dark's "reason" for not killing people is "They stop being fun."

Dead people are boring. Like Link's dad. Which is just, a roast and a half.

Dark takes his aim and fires. Bro doesn't miss a shot. He'll drag everyone.

Shadow also has hurt Vio.

Really the idea Shadow and Dark have a LOT in common is a theme.

Like Shadow can get pissed off as much as he wants at Dark, he's done WAY WORSE than this lil demon guy and can't even argue about that.

The question of how much Dark truly means here is also up in the air as Dark will just say things on other's minds.

Reminder Dark is straight terrified of Shadow Link and just kinda shuts down when Shadow gets peak pissed off at him.

Dark sees Vaati as a fool who needs his help, and seeks Shadow as a threat who's going to hurt him.

Usually actions would speak louder than words, but in Dark's case feeling someone's emotions is 10xs more important. And what Dark knows is Shadow genuinely despises him.

Haha remembering the time pig dad abused you.

But this time Shadow takes the place of gannon being the threatening imposing force.

Thought to consider: Shadow's fear of gannon is reflecting in Dark's fear of Shadow link because...Well Shadow is a piece of gannon. They're in a way afraid of the same entity.

Shadow puts the mask back on and tries to be good boy.

Visually Dark's tendency to grab his hat and keep it close is similar to an animal keeping it's tail tucked between it's legs.

Welp, the beans have been spilled. Dark IS still working for Vaati...Kind of.

In Dark's own words it's not "For"

but Dark never makes sense to anyone other than himself so...

He also just, assumes Shadow knows what he's there for. Which is amusing. Dark in general assumes everyone else should know everything he does.

The comparison to Zelda is baffling but if you really think about it, Dark does make some semblance of sense here:

Link protects Zelda.

Dark protects Vaati.

Tis the same thing. According to Dark Link.

Dark Link in his own words is a hero.

Shadow's reasonable question of "What's wrong with you" is such a genuine reaction to that shit it makes me laugh. Dark's actions make no sense to Shadow but Dark's affections for Vaati aren't logical hah.

Dark wants to see Vio tho and Shadow just, shuts down thinking about this situation

He didn't give Dark an answer so Dark just goes to pick flowers. XD

Shadow's in a tight situation here. What's the best course of action?

"What to do with Dark Link" and "How to introduce him to the others" is a very...difficult one to answer.

If Dark was a mindless curse with no person attached it'd be easy to just destroy him guilt free. But he's not.

Shadow can't tell if Dark's behavior is genuinely malicious or if he's just socially inept (Third option Shadow: He's just acting in accordance to the curse.)

And another thing: How does dealing/handling Dark affect how Shadow should be treated?

After all they're very alike.

Final panels shows Dark offering up a flower to Shadow.

This page is both hilarious and disturbing.

Dark offering up the flower with a cute lil hopeful expression, paired with a happy looking eye on his chest.

Shadow accepting it and being like "Ah we're cool then right-"

only to see Dark vomiting up a bunch of flowers is just, funny. I find it very funny.

"You like one!? :D HAVE A BUNCH MORE!"

It's a reminder Dark really has no sense of how horrifying he is as he's trying to be nice here. XDDD

Which Dark being able to be kind (In his own way) is again smth worth noting. Dark isn't stuck JUST making people misseriable as he actively tries to do the opposite.

Dark continuously breathing out pollen is just a very funny thing to me.

The sense of "I've fucked up" seeping back.

I was listening to the song "Nuts" from adventure time while working on these pages. I feel like that song kinda relates to Dark and Shadow's relationship.

"You're so annoying you pitiful old man. I'd like to help you but I dunno if I can. I thought you were nuts. But, you're REALLY. REALLY. REALLY NUTS."

Actual page shit:

Shadow understands what Vio meant now. XD

Running away from your issues just FEELS easier in the moment sometimes.

Shadow's confessions of being "not a hero" and being terrified about their future make Dark visibly sad.

The comment "We are afraid of very different things Shadow Link" is I think the first time really Dark's directly addressed Shadow as such without the quotation marks or general disbelief in that name/title.

If it's not, at least the moment is impactful because Dark is giving Shadow respect in a way he typically chooses not too.

Shadow is very much afraid of Vaati, so Dark not relating to that emotion is a stand out.

Him fidgeting with his hands is a detail I just find cute.

"I feel that thing you hate" - directed at Vaati is Dark confessing he feels pity for Vaati. Since in FS Shadow says he despises pity.

Dark explains WHY he pities Vaati, he just finds Vaati utterly pitiful. XD

They have a little moment of bonding over their shared experiences with Vaati.

Dark mimicking Vaati here showing what he wishes Vaati would say to him:

Dark Link wants praise and affection and relationships with others.

But due to his very nature it's very difficult to actually gain these things, and the people he's spoken to outright deny him of these in any meaningful way.

Shadow's question of "Aren't you afraid of what he'll do" just gets "I like Vaati" in response. Pff.

Yes we know buddy, very insightful.

The 2nd to last panel shows smth very insightful:

Firstly that "Nobody loves Vaati" Any care Dark DOES have towards Vaati isn't just him mimicking someone else as it's safe to say everyone hates that guy haha.

More disturbingly:

Dark Link doesn't consider himself a "Somebody" and starts trailing off at the end of his sentance.

"I think it's sad, but it's his own fault...he rejects the only-" and then stops.

Dark Link referencing himself as the "person" Vaati continuously rejects but stops before he calls himself a "person" verbally.

You could imagine his continued sentence would be "He rejects the only person who cares about him"

Somebody's hair and eyes changed.

Instead of being white at the roots Dark's hair shifts to being Vio's complete hair color.

This is where we dive into psychological horror realm.

What IS Dark if not a person. IS he a person? What qualities does he have that make him a person?

Dark struggles with the distinction of if he's a "real person" or not but quickly dismisses it as smth Vio has been thinking. Which...Is true but also, considering his line about "Nobody loving Vaati" despite very much so caring about Vaati. Dark's identity crisis isn't exactly smth he has a firm grasp on.

PAGE. LIMMIT. Wrote this while sick so I'm sure I missed shit Aghhh.

#fsr rambles #fsr #four swords adventures #four swords returns #four swords manga #four swords #four swords returns au #loz fsr au #loz #shadow link #dark link

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bthump · 4 months

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Would you say Guts is feminine?

I would not. I mean femininity and masculinity are culture dependant and I'm no expert on the nuances of the categories in either fantasy medieval Europe or more contemporary Japan, but by the standards I'm familiar with Guts has like, maybe one(1) quality you could argue is feminine, and that's his ability to be a caretaker for people. Mmmmaybe his introspection as well, but that's hardly super gendered, and he's not even like notably introspective compared to other fictional characters, only compared to like, Griffith.

I guess from a narrative perspective you could also argue that rape trauma feminizes him, but a) I think you'd need to present an argument that that's intended in the text, it's not something you should just say as an objective truth about interpreting fiction imo, and b) Guts' expression of that trauma, ie killing everything, is super masculine so I don't think it exactly feminizes him overall even if that argument is made.

So yeah I don't think any of that is intended to present him as feminine to the audience. None of it really stacks up compared to being a big strong angry silent type buff man swinging a giant sword killing monsters and feeling driven to be the very best swordsman ever to be true boy best friends with someone.

He's pretty heavily masculine as a character, physically, emotionally, and narratively.

Thanks for the ask!

#ask #anonymous #a #b #character: guts #i think you could actually make that argument re rape trauma by leaning into freudian film theory but again even so idt it stacks up #against the rest of guts particularly from a freudian perspective. even if you argue it's overcompensation he's still got the biggest #sword in the story lol

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smileomega · 6 months

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Warioware Tabletop Headcanons

Wario: HUGE Loot Goblin. Will get into fights the second he's not allowed to have all the loot (he usually loses and leaves). Jimmy T.: He's a DM, but a really chill one. He doesn't really put a whole lot of forethought into his campaigns, usually borrowing them from online sources, but boy is he flexible. There is almost no way to break a campaign he can't adapt to, but he also is generally not into long campaigns, sometimes leaving the experience unfulfilling at the end. Dribble And Spitz: Really fun guys to play an RPG with, but constantly forget having to roll for ANYTHING. They'll frequently say things like "I hit him with my sword!" and "I intimidate the guard" and assume the game will let that happen. Sometimes, the DM will just let them have it because, darn it, they're just so fun to be around, and it'd be really funny. Mona: Another generally really cool player to be around, acts moderately well, but will NEVER play the same character in 2 different sessions. EVER. She always has to roll a new character, even in the middle of the campaign. 9-Volt: Min-Maxer. Probably running a Murder Hobo that is also somehow game-related despite games not existing in-universe. The DMs usually let him have this. Orbulon: Barely exists as a player, is mostly here to socialize and eat food. Occasionally tries earnestly to engage with the game for the heck of it and suddenly the train flies off of the rails. Dr. Crygor: Another DM, the polar opposite of Jimmy T. Has an entire atlas of the game's world, and has sharpened every single tiny detail about the setting, its countries, its history, its religions, its conflicts, its past conflicts, and every single dungeon he will unfortunately funnel you into regardless of how you feel about it. Kat & Ana: Orbulon, but only the first sentence (they're kids, what'dya expect?) 18-Volt: Will ONLY play with his custom bard character that Raps for all of his spells. Generally okay otherwise. Ashley: Her Character is the darkest flavor of spellcaster possible in the game, and their name is something like Deathdarkness Moonbladereaper, and she will play this character like her life depended on it.. Despite this, she's not actually DISRUPTIVE, and adds a unique perspective to the party, though occasionally has a habit of cursing NPCs that seem suspicious or having towns be angry at them because she doesn't care to hide her undead minions. The prose she uses during some of her actions also makes it really hard to take her seriously sometimes. Red: Will play a healing class, but will almost exclusively focus on keeping Ashley's character alive and as well as possible, completely ignoring everyone else. Ashley doesn't even want him to do this, it's just a thing he does, and nobody's happy about it. (Part 2 coming maybe)

#warioware

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ninadove · 1 year

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Felix often becomes Angry when he hears the word “Monster” since that’s the word Colt called him. However he remains calm when Kagami called him a “Monster” in Emotion.

Any thoughts about this?

I’ve actually been scratching my head over this one for a while! But I think it comes down to a few key parametres.

By the time Kagami confronts him in Emotion, Felix has just snapped what we can only assume is the entirety of Paris out of existence. As far as he’s concerned, all threats to his existence are gone; so the insult doesn’t carry any risk of real harm anymore.

Seriously, look at my child. You can tell from the look in his eyes that he’s feeling a sense of peace for what is probably the first time in his life. GET HIM TO THERAPY

Because yes, Kagami is ready to bludgeon him to death with a sword, but — she’s just like him! She’s only being hostile because she’s hurt and scared, and boy can he relate to that. From his perspective, it’s all just one big misunderstanding! She doesn’t know he’s been doing all of this to protect the three of them yet!

So he immediately brings Adrien back, convinced that will be enough to make her feel happy and safe. Surely she’ll be sooo down to live in this perfect post-apocalyptic world he made for them now. And she’s definitely going to be SO chill about him throwing her other crush best friend into a trashcan!

✨ TADAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! ✨

When we meet the kids again in Pretention, they’re not safe anymore; in fact, they’re literally being hunted for not conforming to the expectations that have been placed upon them since birth (sweet sweet queer-coding, how I love you). So, when Kagami uses the term "Sentimonster" without even thinking about it, the hurt on Felix’s face is immediately apparent. There’s anger there, too, but it’s not directed at her; he’s angry at his father, at her mother, at Gabriel — the people who were involved in creating them and continue to abuse them relentlessly.

This ties back to Felix’s relationship with Adrien and how we were led to believe he might hold some resentment and jealousy towards him, when in fact… Not at all! He loves his cousin! He’s willing to destroy the entire world to keep him safe! Their relationship has just been put under so much strain because of the abuse they’ve both been subjected to. And Felix sees this and recognises it for what it is.

The bottomline, I think, is that abused kids lash out sometimes, or don’t stand up for each other as much as they should, or unintentionally hurt each other when they meant to do good. Felix, for all his flaws and his misconceptions as to how the world works, understands this and would never put the blame on Kagami; it’s the adults’ fault, and now they have to heal from it, together.

#miraculous ladybug #felix graham de vanily #argos #kagami tsurugi #feligami #adrien agreste #senticousins #mlb spoilers #mlb emotion #mlb pretention #mlb representation #ml representation #representation spoilers #random ramblings #anon asks #Thanks for the ask Anon! ❤️💜

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a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire · 5 months

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Ive made through chapters 4-7 today and good god, I feel like i had basically nothing to say about acotar as I was reading it but with this book theres so much to talk about for some reason, its wild. Truly, I did not realize how much I liked Feyre in the first book until I was under threat of losing her

Now, I will say that Feyre seems in-character so far, shes still the same woman but traumatized, but I am worried for her. Tamlin is a whole different story though, SJM might as well shoot him dead right in front of me for how thoroughly hes being character assassinated. Like, if Tamlin actually cares about Feyre as a person and not just in a douchy, possessive alphahole way, which he should because Tamlin was not that kind of guy previously, then he would force Feyre to train so she can defend herself if necessary, not forbid her from it. Even if he didnt want her to use her magical powers, surely he would make her practice with her knife or with a sword or even with her bow just to be safe, because hes not always gonna be there

I think his actions do continue to make sense if you look at them from his perspective, but I also maintain that he's doing a really bad job at responding to Feyre. But also, its so laughably obvious what sjm is doing by having Tamlin say shit like "you were stolen from me", shes trying to paint him as some objectifying asshole. Even Lucien calling her "Tamlin's bride" feels like its part of all this, and I know Ianthe is gonna turn out to be a traitor and a rapist at some point, so it really comes across as an attempt to villify the entire spring court for its association with Tamlin

Speaking of Lucien, I genuinely think part of the reason Feylin is doing so badly in this book is that his dynamic with Tamlin is completely different now. For some reason hes all like "oh, my High Lord" instead of "my good friend Tamlin", he suddenly cant say a word against him when he was talking to shit to him just a few months ago in-uinverse. Like, if their dynamic was the same as it was in acotar, Lucien wouldve probably been like "hey man, I know youre stressed and I get it, I know what its like to watch the love of my life get brutally murdered I dont know what its like to have her magically ressurected again but thats neither here nor there, but Feyre is clearly not happy being inside all day and you need a break, go take her out on a date in the woods, I'll stay here and take care of everything, dont even worry about it" or gotten him to comprise with Feyre or chill tf out or SOMETHING but because theres suddenly this rigid hierarchy in the spring court in order to make the night court look better

Speaking of the night court, Ive heard some stuff about it feeling very orientalist but it still managed to completely blindsight me with its badness. Feyre got fucking harem pants to wear, really? And a short-sleeved croptop, and no fucking shoes, probably because Rhys didnt want Feyre throwing shoes at him again. That was the one moment in this book that brought me genuine joy btw, I would read a thousand fanfics about her just throwing shit at him

Anyway, speaking of my guy (derogatory) Rhysand Nolastname, hes so incredibly annoying I dont even have any coherent thoughts about him right now, like, if I were to write down what I think of him I would just write "he fuckinh pisses me off" over and over again. Im actually a really big fan of edgy shadow bois, but only if theyre like, sad and angry and closed off, if theyre like Rhysand and theyre all flirty and teasing and cocky and shit, theyre just annoying and nothing else. And the romance has barely even started yet, I cant imagine how much worse the flirting is gonna get later. Not to mention all these desperate and obvious attempts by sjm to make him sympathetic and morally good now, its honestly pretty pathetic

Now Im gonna be real with you, I didnt get a lot of sleep yesterday and I can feel myself and the things Im writing getting less and less coherent, so Im just gonna hit you with the very last of my thoughts bullet point style

The fact that Amarantha apparently didnt actually go rogue and it was all part of Hybern's plan feels misogynistic ngl

Ianthe's entire character already feels so misogynistic and slutshame-y and she hasnt even assaulted anyone yet

Something about Mor bothers me, I cant quite put my finger on it but its there. I think I do like her for annoying Rhys though

God, Im gonna have so much to say about the Illyrians but for now, its awfully bold of Rhysand to be like "they wasted no time throwing themselves before her feet" when THATS WHAT HE DID

Thats it for now

#anti sjm #anti acomaf #anti rhysand #flames and darkness liveblog

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jozor-johai · 4 months

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Revisiting the Rat Cook Epilogue: Looking ahead to TWOW aboard two Rat-free ships

This part didn’t really fit for the main series (which you can read here) because I was trying to avoid too much speculation in the main posts.

However, if you’ve followed the series, and if you’ve been convinced of the symbolism and the relations of power that I’ve identified, then I want to briefly point out two scenarios where we might use these symbols to predict certain trajectories in TWOW and beyond.

As usual, you can actually just read this alone, even though it's the epilogue. It's just that I'll be speeding through a lot of the symbolic analysis, because it's been all covered already.

Dany's Rat-Free Ship

Considering all the weight of Rat Cooks, cannibalism, desperation, rebellion, vengeance, and cycles of violence, it’s damned interesting that as soon as Daenerys’ dragons are big enough to act on their own, one of the first things they do is hunt rats.

Dany leaves behind Qarth—and the rats chewing their own tails—and sails off in a grand ship, renamed Balerion in honor of Aegon the Conqueror. This ship, briefly, becomes Dany’s ideal world—she is at peace, her dragons are free, and everyone comes to love her.

Part of what earns them that love is their ability to kill rats:

At first Groleo had wanted the dragons caged and Dany had consented to put his fears at ease, but their misery was so palpable that she soon changed her mind and insisted they be freed. Even Captain Groleo was glad of that, now. There had been one small fire, easily extinguished; against that, Balerion suddenly seemed to have far fewer rats than she'd had before, when she sailed under the name Saduleon. And her crew, once as fearful as they were curious, had begun to take a queer fierce pride in "their" dragons. Every man of them, from captain to cook's boy, loved to watch the three fly . . . though none so much as Dany.

If we understand “rats” as those underfoot, angry at their own oppression, then the time aboard Balerion with far fewer rats is consistent with that symbolism; here, aboard Balerion, there is no civil unrest. Instead, Dany paints a pastoral image: on this rat-free ship, the dragons fly constantly overhead, and “every man of them, from captain to cook’s boy, loved to watch the three fly”.

Three flying dragons, beyond the literal, also evoke the three-headed-dragon Targaryen banner flying in the wind. Therefore, not only do they love the dragons, but the people aboard the ship love the return of the Targaryen rule, and “take pride” in it together.

And that means everyone, from the great Lords, represented by the captain, all the way down to the smallfolk, represented by the cook’s boy.

Wait, the cook’s boy? That motif is present too—just as in the Rat Cook story, the smallfolk are encapsulated by the cook, a very necessary person, yet unnamed even here. Aboard Balerion, we are shown the son, uneaten, not transformed into a rat, and we are reminded of the absence of the Rat Cook, for there are so few rats. On Dany’s rat-free ship of dreams, the children of the Rat Cook are not doomed to run from their father for eternity.

However… It's worth considering how this lack of unrest was achieved. We’ve examined “rathood” as a certain way for the powerless to regain moments of agency and their willingness to survive and return. If “rats” are dissenting smallfolk, this ship is a realm where that unrest has been eradicated by brute force. Using Toyne’s and Baelish’s language, these rat’s have been “skewered” and “burned” with Dany’s flaming-sword dragons. And so we see the cook's boy, but not his father.

From that perspective, then, Dany’s dragons hunting the rats on the ship might instead be a straightforward foreshadowing of her ability to rule by actual force… and to demand the same uniform fealty that Aegon the Conqueror once did, and to kill anyone remaining who disagrees. As we’ve seen, this is an unrealistic utopia. In the Red Keep, there seem to be “thousands of rats,” per Jaime, but on this closed-world of the ship, Dany actually can kill enough rats to rule peacefully.

Not only this, but these few sentences about her time on the ship might actually predict her entire storyline… or at least how she hopes it goes.

At first, Groleo had wanted the dragons caged, and Dany contented to put his fears at ease.

Groleo was the captain before Dany arrived, and so he represents the existing rulers who consent to work with Dany—in Meereen, this is Hizdahr, Reznak, the Green Grace, etc. This moment on the ship is Dany caging her dragons in the dungeons because the “captains,” incumbent leaders, fear them.

However, this just leads to the dragons' misery—and, since Dany and the dragons are so emotionally linked, this is also Dany’s misery in Meereen feeling as caged-in as her dragons.

On Balerion, the dragons are eventually let loose, as they are in Meereen, by Quentyn in Dany’s absence. We’re only just beginning to see the next steps. On Balerion, they had “one small fire, easily extinguished,” which, at the scale of Meereen, might be less small and slightly less easily extinguished.

Still, someone on Dany's side might ask: wasn’t that destruction worth it on Balerion? The rats are all gone, and all the survivors take a fierce pride in them now, whatever they felt before.

With the dragons free again, everyone comes to love them… save the rats, who have become dragon food. Oh well, though, from the dragon’s perspective—an infinite number of rat-children for eternity only serves to feed dragons.

For the Rat Cook, infinite rats and infinite hunger was a depressing possibility: no matter how many of his rat-children he ate, he was never satisfied. Dragons are different, though; dragons grow as big as the space they’re in allows them. These dragons might never be sated eating all the rats in the world, but the more rats are born, the more the better—Drogon can feed and grow ever larger, and grow, and grow, because you can kill all the rats if you have big enough weapons. It's just that you might kill some “Hazzea”s too.

Drogon’s not only the ship-bound rat-hunter, though, interestingly enough.

Rat hunting on the Cinnamon Wind

Immediately before Sam arrives in Oldtown, he too spends his own time on a ship hunting rats, in AFFC Samwell IV:

He scrubbed decks and rubbed them smooth with stones, he hauled on anchor chains, he coiled rope and hunted rats, he sewed up torn sails, patched leaks with bubbling hot tar, boned fish and chopped fruit for the cook.

You might say: Sam is doing a whole lot more besides. Surely him hunting rats is just one part of his Rocky-esque training montage.

And I might say: that may be true, except we’ve been introduced to a few “rats” that Sam might be heading straight towards.

Catelyn names them as early as the first book, in AGOT Catelyn III:

"We have no steward," Maester Luwin reminded her. Like a little grey rat, she thought, he would not let go.

Catelyn is thinking poorly of Luwin because she is grief-stricken and generally annoyed, but she may be onto something here. Whatever their differences over Brandon, Lady Dustin certainly would agree with Catelyn about the maesters as grey rats.

Lady Dustin uses the same words in ADWD The Prince of Winterfell—the same chapter in which Wyman called for the “Rat Cook” song. Theon is privy to that insight, too:

As Maester Medrick went to one knee to whisper in Bolton's ear, Lady Dustin's mouth twisted in distaste. "If I were queen, the first thing I would do would be to kill all those grey rats. They scurry everywhere, living on the leavings of the lords, chittering to one another, whispering in the ears of their masters. But who are the masters and who are the servants, truly?”

I’ve been holding onto this quote for the entire series, even though Lady Dustin says plainly what I’ve been arguing: “rats” use their special, privileged access as supposedly-subservient people with no actual power in order to enact a de facto power that usurps the de jure power from beneath the Lords when it is most important.

If these Maesters are like “grey rats” the way that Catelyn and Lady Dustin say, then perhaps it's portentous that Sam got some training in hunting rats while aboard the Cinnamon Wind.

In fact, like Balerion, the Citadel might be appropriate rat-hunting grounds, as it seems to be something of an insular place. Perhaps you really could hunt all the “rats” in the Citadel without any more making it in.

Of course, we can’t know until TWOW, and I can’t help but imagine that there are even more clues to be found for the path ahead. That's all I have to say about the Rat Cook for now.

#rtrc #twow speculation #asoiaf meta #jozor thoughts #asoiaf

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1moreoffkeyanthem · 4 months

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Oh look she’s Stanposting again.

Specifically in the vein of how every time I write him, he is the EPITOME of the inherently gentle character who is definitely CAPABLE of causing harm, but would never hurt a soul. Unless you hurt someone he cares about.

Especially when it comes to Kyle.

So here’s some of the lines I’ve written across various stories that reiterate that aspect of his personality, both his own thoughts and other people’s perspective of him.

Oh boy this is gonna be a doozy.

From The Webs In The Rafters:

•(Now, Stan was a gentle soul. Always had been, always would be. He never initiated conflict, saved the birds that flew into windows before Cartman’s cats could get to them, and played guitar for the cows they drove to the sale barn. He was a lover, not a fighter, but,

There was a singular exception.

When Kyle was hurt, his gentle nature flew out the window. He wanted to punish the person responsible. Stan clenched his fists so hard they could practically break stone, he shed angry tears, and he had to fight harder than ever to uphold his values. He didn’t like to cause harm, but those who harmed others deserved all the fucking harm he could deliver unto them.)

•(Kyle let out a long, breathy laugh. “Dude, be cool. And you wonder why Cartman calls you my guard dog.”)

•(It was terrifying to see. When a characteristically gentle person broke like that, the whole world seemed to shatter.)

•(Kyle practically read his mind. “You’re going to kill him, aren’t you?”

“With my bare fucking hands.”)

•(Stan was a real nice guy, but that only made it scarier when he actually got mad. Butters had known him for over half his life, but it would always be jarring to see his friend jump from his default state of gentility. When it came to Kyle, though, he was a wild card. It was terrifying.)

•(The man who did took another step toward the Spider, brandishing a two-by-four studded with nails like it was a sword. God, if Stan’s anger had been directed at him, Kenny would’ve withered where he stood, and he wasn’t one to back down easy. Apparently neither was Craig. He just…stood there, as Stan growled.)

From While The Dew Is Still On The Roses

•(“Drag him behind the fucking horses.”

The order shot a cold spear of dread into Kyle’s heart. His Stan wasn’t violent if it could be avoided. In the years since they had met, he hadn’t seen this side of him, or heard the curses of angered humans from him. He could feel his husband trembling, shaking in anger and fear as he held him.)

•(The door to the carriage opened, Stan wiping his bloodied knuckles off on his tunic. His eyes were dark, almost vacant until they settled on Kyle again.

“My- my dearest-“ the king croaked out, trying and failing to lift his head. “-what did you do?”)

•(Kyle looked Stan up and down, noting bruised knuckles. “Damien?”

“Is in the dungeons.” His husband finished. “There was some… questioning.”

He fought the instinct to sit up. “Did you kill him?”

Stan raised an eyebrow. “What variety of creature do I portray? Of course I didn’t; that decision is yours and yours alone. You know me better than to jump to that conclusion, my love.”)

From And The Lightning Cracks The Sky

•(“Don’t you fucking touch him!”

Kyle was still at the apartment, right? This person couldn’t get to him. Then again, he HAD summoned magic fire that refused to be put out. Kyle wasn’t safe.

“Please.” Stan didn’t give a shit if he got incinerated. He just didn’t want the forests to suffer. Or Kyle.)

•(Stan. His gorgeous smokejumper with the heart of healing water to Kyle’s fire, scrambling up and coming to his defense despite being shell shocked at this scene. “This guy SHOT you?”)

From Reckless By Nature

•(Stan froze, spinning around with a clenched jaw and a murderous expression. “Cartman. Jar. Right the fuck now.”

“What? He’s not even here!”

“But I AM, and I maintain the right to enforce Jar Laws on his behalf.”)

•(Above all, if ed jokes got made, even though Kyle had been better for a long time and generally didn’t care, his relentlessly protective partner DID, and had enforced that amendment. That was a bad one. Kenny knew that if Stan would’ve been around, Cartman would’ve been in critical condition.)

From In The Truly Gruesome

•(Stan Marsh wasn’t a violent person. But nothing would compare to the world ending rage he’d fly into if he ever lost Kyle.)

Lmao I love how TWITR has the most in that genre of Staniel. To be fair, it WAS befitting of the situation.

So that’s today on Stanposting! I love that sweet boy!!!

#south park #stan marsh #lmm voice: look at my son #I love him being so pacifistic until Kyle’s in the picture #it’s worth noting that all my Stan’s are BIG BOYS! like they’re tall and strong and could def hurt someone #but he’s such a sweetheart that rarely happens #like that’s my BOY!!!#the guy ever #style #headcanon #fic links #fic excerpt #my shit #ao3 #ao3 shit #TWITR especially like oh boy that’s one of my favorite examples of this #sorry for linking my shit it will happen again

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somerunner · 7 months

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Cradle Fanfic (Waybound spoilers)

Since this has spoilers I’m going to put it under a read-more. I posted this in the Discord a week or two ago, and have made a couple of minor edits since then.

Striding North of Cradle

—————————————

Northstrider looked inward. The memories he had received just moments before troubled him. He had known, of course, what his original goals were — and he had told Lindon his own mantra, days before the Silent King was killed and the current uneasy balance between Monarchs and Dreadgods started to collapse.

Look for a solution to the Dreadgods. Research, plot, calculate, simulate. Obtain the assistance of those who have power to solve the problem, or do it yourself. But do not cross them. They will take everything from you given the excuse.

Those weren't his exact words to the boy, but those were his guiding thoughts ever since he had reached Archlord. As a Sage, he only became more angry as he began to learn how powerful, and thus complacent, the Abidan were.

When he became a Monarch, he had somehow deluded himself into thinking he had not joined his enemy in complacency. His philosophy remained as it was, but he never admitted that he had become part of the problem. The Dreadgods were monsters, and Northstrider defended the people from them. All except his enemies, who would put a sword in his back given the chance.

Even when he had helped Tiberian Arelius, a trusted ally, he was stabbed in the back. Not by Tiberian, but alongside him, which was almost worse. When fighting the Weeping Dragon to protect the Arelius Monarch’s people, he left himself open to Reigan Shen, who initially assisted just long enough to gain a provisional measure of trust. Then, as the Dreadgod began to prepare its legendary dragon's breath, Shen used his mastery over space to maneuver both Tiberian and Northstrider into its range. Northstrider came to in the middle of the ocean, sensing a Monarch's Remnant getting packed away in a voidspace. Shen immediately left, and too weak to defend the continent, Northstrider floated and sensed the Dragon scour its surface.

He was right not to trust the other Monarchs. They were just as complacent as him in letting the Dreadgods destroy and feed, and did nothing to find a way to stop them. They took every chance to kill their enemies...just like he did himself.

With his old memories came a glimpse of his old mindset and perspective. That was what really made him look at himself, and he was disgusted by what he saw. Northstrider had truly ignored his own hunger and greed, and its effect on the populace. While he took care of the outcasts and supported the Beast King in doing so as well, he was a large reason behind those people losing their homes in the first place. One-fifth of the reason, if only hunger aura and the Dreadgods were considered.

It was time to ascend. People were dying every second that the Dreadgods fed. Of course, that meant it would be easy for even Heralds and Sages to take what they wanted, but that was only for the lucky one or two whose own lands were not under attack. Most were either defending allies or trying to recover from their own near-destruction in the wake of the Wandering Titan and the Bleeding Phoenix. Northstrider's own charges, kept away from the disasters in pocket worlds, would be well-equipped to take advantage of the situation. And he would be able to defend many of the reeling and vulnerable locations from attack by scavengers.

As he began to think about reasons he should stay on the planet, the Empty Ghost spoke. Northstrider was half-convinced to leave, half-threatened, and soon he found himself in the Way. He drifted in irritation and contemplation, but the currents of reality soon became too buffeting to ignore. This was not entirely surprising, as Fate had been exceptionally hard to read recently, but it was discouraging. It was hard to maintain any sort of course as the deep-blue surroundings pulled him in every direction.

Once he reached a less-turbulent fork in the Way, Northstrider clenched his fist. As much as he disliked Lindon, he knew he could trust the boy to take care of his researchers and other charges. But he would likely kill Reigan Shen without giving Northstrider the chance to do it himself. And with the world being so far from the Way right now, it was likely that billions would suffer from new threats almost equal to the Dreadgods in danger, back when they were as weak as individual Monarchs.

It was too late now. He had already left, and in doing so had taken a portion of the burden of hunger aura from the world. Even more, he was no longer burdened by ongoing responsibilities. He could find new monsters to fight, new sources of strength to draw from, and in his void space he had a Dream Well holding his prototype addition to the oracle codex.

In time, he would have his own Presence, without having to serve the Abidan. As much as he admitted to himself that he had been just as arrogant and dismissive as them, he did not want to be the servant who bowed again. He would reach to gain authority here in the Way, and at the first planet he dropped off at he would recoup his spiritual strength. And then...he would wander, he supposed. And look for opponents such as the dragons, who oppressed and killed at their convenience.

As he had this thought, the currents of the Way became turbulent again and spat him out into a starry area of stable space. Northstrider quickly scanned the area and noticed a planet nearby about the size of Cradle, but made of gas. There was no star close by, but several hundred spots on the planet glowed brightly.

They illuminated two orbiting rings, one made of several city-sized rocks, and the other of vast sheets of metal, a few miles thick and thousands of miles across. He sensed a few million people living nearby in these sheets of metal. These were in turn surrounded by small floating metal boxes, like fleas.

And now that he focused, he sensed a distress signal, clearly attempting to reach out to the Way but not getting through. It was being suppressed so it only sounded in this reality, and the turbulence in the Way’s currents likely meant the signal would be too distorted to parse anyway. It was going off at multiple points across the entire metal-composed ring, so it took Northstrider a few moments to sense its cause.

On the other side of the planet, a tyrant was slicing the city-sheets in half. Killing thousands as the innards of each city was exposed to space and the surrounding regions were shaken by each rupture, but not completely obliterating them. Taking it apart, piece by piece, savoring the destruction.

Like a dragon.

Northstrider rolled his neck. One of his regrets on Cradle was that with all his power, he could only kill weaker dragons and merely push back the true monsters such as Sesh, Shen, or the Dreadgods. He had never experienced a total victory over a challenging opponent since his advancement to Monarch. Here, sensing his new opponent, he could see they only had a little more than the power of a peak Herald. In his weakened state he could potentially deal with them without damaging the cities nearby. Best of all, because the Abidan couldn't hear this world, he didn't have to look over his shoulder while doing so.

Northstrider smiled as he kicked off of empty space. If it was so easy to find opponents such as this, that he could kill without worry or regret, he would enjoy his departure from Cradle.

#cradle series #cradle runnerpost #cradle fanfic #will wight #cradle northstrider

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bitsandbobsofwriting · 2 years

Note

Gorgeous, excellent, perfection, absolutely exquisite. Lovely to see you back and every second was well worth the wait of reading more of your work. I cannot wait for the second part (except that I’d wait many years to read it still). Hope life is treating you as well as you deserve and that writing is still a fun hobby/outlet rather than a chore. Never feel obligated to write or to share, but please know that I’m grateful for every time you do.

(Merlin’s anger is wonderful and needed and exquisite cause you can still read all the protectiveness that it partially roots from while still seeing all the past slights that turned it into this quick temper when faced with the knights/Arthur. And Arthur’s earlier almost “where’s Merlin” was such a wonderful touch. Adore having some of Leon’s perspective thrown in there, he’s always a personal favorite. The connection between Merlin and Mordred and his ability to see the bigger picture, to forgive things that shouldn’t have been in question to begin with, the bond formed now that Merlin is not up close to it all is just lovely. I could go on and on because there’s not one piece that lacked my attention and love) -c

(Referencing This Fic)

Not me having to leave the living room and have a big happy stim and cry after reading this🥺

It's been really tough for me to get things out recently, not for any bad reasons, I'm just very busy and have a lot of other things that are giving me more motivation, but it means so much to me that I have people waiting so patiently for my stuff!!

I absolutely still enjoy writing, and when I get into it, I get really into it. I'm on a bit of a roll at the moment (touch wood), so hopefully that continues long enough that I can at least finish this fic😅.

And I'm glad you picked up on so much!!! Merlin is such an integral part of Arthur's life, he definitely struggles to cope long term with the fact that Merlin is gone and is actually for real not coming back this time. And I hate when writers dismiss the friendships between Merlin and everyone except Arthur, Lance, Gwaine and Gwen. Yes, he may have been closer to those four, but he still spent significant amounts of time with the others.

This will be explained in more detail later on in the story, but Merlin got to a point in his relationship with Freya where... waiting was no longer an option. He'd waited and waited, and Freya was happy to go along with it and would be happy to continue, but... Merlin wasn't? So yeah, he still cares about the knights and Camelot, he doesn't really want them to die or suffer too much, but he is angry, and he didn't really want to see them ever again, and he'd forced himself to stop prioritising destiny. Because it wasn't just himself he was dismissing now, it was Freya, and the life they could have together (that they now do have) if he'd just turned his back on the prophecies. So as hard as it was, he made that decision, and it turned out to be the best thing he's ever done, and not caring about the prophecies means... he can be objective when it comes to Mordred. He can begin to see him as just a scared boy with magic, just like him, with so much faith and a heart so big it hurts. And he resents Arthur more, outside of failing as The Once and Future King, because he saw a teenager, a child, hold up a sword almost bigger than him and say "I want to fight!" with his chubby fingers and puppy-fat cheeks, and said "Yeah, alright." and what the shit is up with that?! Ya know??

We ALSO say FUCK toxic masculinity in the next bit :)))

Anyway. Shit is gonna go down. But there will be a happy ending :D

I love you guys so much <3

#bbc merlin #freylin #arwen #merlin #arthur pendragon #mordred #bbc mordred #good mordred #send requests #send asks #asks #requests #merlin/freya #arthur/gwen #arthur and gwaine hold hands for comfort #because they're repressed #but not THAT repressed #at least not in my aus

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veliseraptor · 2 years

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What's your favourite Xue Yang scene?

don't even want to look at when this one was sent so I won't.

but also how am I even supposed to choose? all of Xue Yang's scenes are my favorite scenes and this is made harder by the fact that there aren't actually all that many of them, so even if I were to go with, like, top five, I could arguably cover all of them in it depending on how I stretch the definition of "scene."

and I am going to go ahead and stretch that definition to go with "everything from when Xiao Xingchen stabs him through to Xue Yang's first resurrection attempt's failure" because OH BOY is that just! a lot! happening there! seriously remains one of the most emotionally devastating parts of the entire show for me.

actually, you know what? since I haven't gotten all up in my feelings about this for a while why don't I go ahead and get up in my feelings about it again!!!

so right off the bat I'm just, you know. feeling things. about Xue Yang, who has just ridden a full rollercoaster of "uh oh, that's a song lan shaped problem who's here to kill me" to "hey this is going pretty well actually!" to "oh shit that played out so perfectly, we fucking on the murder tableau tonight" and a whole high of combined relief (because he gets to keep his life and this life despite thinking it was over for a hot minute there), victory (he won, take that Song-daozhang) and just fucking sheer satisfaction about the perfection of the fact that he won because Xiao Xingchen killed his best friend and he doesn't know it (and I think in Xue Yang's head at this point, doesn't need to! that can be Xue Yang's own private little joke, it's not like it matters now).

the single greatest threat to Xue Yang's happy domestic fantasy is out of the picture and things are going great. :D

and then at some point, a-Qing presumably spills the beans to Xiao Xingchen, and Xue Yang comes back from away to a sword in the stomach and a very pissed off, distressed, and confused Xiao Xingchen, who has to be, yeah, freaking the fuck out and extremely confused and kind of panicking already, because, well. understandable reasons, rather.

and I think the thing that kills me about the whole rapidly deteriorating conversation between Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen here is the fact that...initially, Xue Yang doesn't even seem all that upset, or at least not all that angry.

but then Xiao Xingchen says a few things that very clearly really get to Xue Yang, and by that I specifically mean that hurt him, and you can kind of...see the transition from Xue Yang making a bid for Xiao Xingchen's understanding to going back to familiar ground of "what do we do when people hurt us? oh yes, hurt them back and also worse."

what seems to push him over the line is a combination of Xiao Xingchen's dismissal (from Xue Yang's perspective) of his point-of-view and, I think more significantly, the significance of his suffering, and Xiao Xingchen's calling him 'disgusting.' I have...a whole lot more feelings about why that specifically, but that does seem to be the tipping point where Xue Yang goes from arguing defensively to very much on the offensive.

and Xue Yang has some very good weapons at his disposal.

so from there until he reveals Song Lan's presence, Xue Yang is riding the sensation of, again, winning - Xiao Xingchen hurt him, now Xiao Xingchen is hurting, good, that's how it's supposed to be, that feels better. Xiao Xingchen, meanwhile, is having everything he believed he'd managed to build, the good he'd managed to accomplish and the family he'd managed to make from the ashes of his previous mission, was (a) a hideous lie and (b) involved him committing a whole lot of murder.

I don't think it matters to Xiao Xingchen a whole lot that he was manipulated/tricked into it. All that matters to him is that he was tricked, and that he did do it. His good intentions don't matter - just as his good intentions didn't matter the first time around. His good intentions have never mattered, he's accomplished nothing since leaving the mountain - worse than nothing, he's done nothing but actively cause harm.

he insists that Xue Yang is lying even though I think he doesn't believe it himself because he doesn't want to believe that it's true, but even at that point, and even if it stopped there, I think Xiao Xingchen was already crumbling. not even getting into the fact that I think part of what's ruining Xiao Xingchen so badly is the fact that he loved his friend! he cared about him! the right thing to do here is pretty unquestionably to kill Xue Yang, but Xiao Xingchen doesn't. I don't think he can.

and that's before Song Lan gets introduced to the situation.

and meanwhile Xue Yang, who has never heard of the word "overkill," just keeps going, hammering at Xiao Xingchen's doubts and insecurities and weaknesses, and I think some of that continued battering has to do with the fact that as long as he's focused on wrecking Xiao Xingchen's entire everything he doesn't have to deal with how he's feeling about any of this. Detonating a nuclear bomb in the middle of your own relationship is fun as long as you don't immediately notice that you were in the blast radius at the time.

Xiao Xingchen, utterly demoralized, despairing, mentally and emotionally demolished, kills himself, unable to conceive of anything else he can do; there's no way out but out, and nothing lost by his doing so.

Xue Yang's laughter cuts off so fast when he notices Xiao Xingchen drop, as does his smile.

when he goes down to his knees next to him, his hands are shaking. but it's okay! this is salvageable!

I think what kills me most about Xue Yang's first go at resurrecting Xiao Xingchen is how calm he is about it. He's methodical and careful and meticulous, cleaning off Xiao Xingchen's hands (and presumably the rest of him), replacing his soiled bandage with a clean one, setting everything up and then, it seems, double-checking it. He's got this! Everything is under control! he dusts off his hands and cheerfully makes them both dinner, setting it up to be ready when Xiao Xingchen wakes up. This Is Going to Work.

it's not about the delusion, for me; sure, you can talk about what it means that Xue Yang is so very convinced that things can just go back to normal. but honestly for me it's the fact that Xue Yang's determined normalcy makes me very much think of the "this is fine" dog - he is on some level well aware that everything is on fire and awful and not going to just be fixed by resurrecting Xiao Xingchen but also no he isn't.

the fact that he pauses before eating the candy (the last piece of candy Xiao Xingchen gave him), for one, makes me think that there's already a touch of hesitation under that veneer of confidence that isn't as sure of himself as Xue Yang is pretending to be.

and of course then it doesn't work, Xiao Xingchen doesn't wake up, and Xue Yang very quickly rockets from the denial stage of grief through anger and into bargaining. his increasingly desperate pleas for Xiao Xingchen to wake up or else like he can just...threaten him alive again? because that's how Xue Yang knows how to interact with people. that's how he knows how to get what he wants.

violence is the only tactic that has reliably worked for Xue Yang for his whole life, and now he's in a situation where it isn't working at all and he can't deal with it. I doubt Xue Yang has ever grieved before, and this is the moment where it hits him like a high-speed train.

for someone who can be fairly described as "feral" and "a loose cannon", Xue Yang is in fact most of the time very much in control, at least in terms of himself. when he kills people it's because he meant to do it; when he hurts someone it's intentional, when he loses his temper it's because he didn't try to restrain it. Xiao Xingchen broke earlier, just before he died; this is the moment that breaks Xue Yang, and after this I don't think, barring a very surprising resurrection, there was any way he'd come back from it.

there's some lines in a fic that I wrote but haven't posted (yet) that goes:

He wondered what in heaven Xiao Xingchen had done, to change him so much. How he, with how much Xue Yang had hated him, had managed to reach into Xue Yang and unearth something all but forgotten, that had left an open, bleeding wound when it was torn away.

He wasn’t sure if he was impressed or angry.

and sometimes I do wonder what Xiao Xingchen would make of the Xue Yang-shaped mess he left behind when he died. absolutely there's one thing I think he'd regret most: abandoning a-Qing. but aside from that...I do wonder what he'd think of what his death did to Xue Yang. I don't think he'd find it satisfying, I can say that. I think he'd just find it sad.

which it is, and I'm crying about it.

#conversating #anonymous #christ this got. something #yi city arc yi city arc yi city arc #xuexiao #xue yang #xiao xingchen #the sad queer cultivators show #lise does meta #i guess????#long post for ts

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urwendii · 21 hours

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7 11 24 for russingon asks :)

Thank you anon ! let seeeeee

7. Share some headcanons on how secret the relationship was: did basically everyone know about it, or just very close family, or nobody at all? How did that change over their lifetimes?

Alright so basically:

In Valinor, pre strife, it was secret and by necessity most likely. I don't think it was on their minds to be open about it. It was known they were Good Friends(tm) and it provided enough of a cover so they could spend time with each other without having to find excuses. Now did Fingon ever suck Maedhros off in broad daylight in the Palace's gardens? yes - they both got a bit reckless at times but who can blame them?

I hc that their relationship started deteriorating once the tension between their dads built up until Fingon broke them up after the whole Your Dad Threatened My Dad With A Fucking Sword?? and Maedhros was unable to totally let go of his loyalties for his family. My thought on this is that Maglor noticed how hard it was on Maedhros and started suspecting that maybe there had been more to their relationship than he ever let on. He never mentioned it though and soon enough they had other issues to worry about anyway...

Post Thangorodrim, it took them a long while to get back into a mind space where they could discuss everything and try to rebuild something. By then I believe more people suspected/knew including a few who disapproved mostly because of who Maedhros was as a Fëanorean (and the obvious politics power play dimension it had after Fingon was crowned High King.)

Maedhros' people in Himring would pretend not to know even if it was terribly obvious considering how their Lord was fretting upon Fingon's visit, how he would light up during it and how gloomy he would then become again after the High Prince/King's departure. And the fact said Nolofinwëan never slept in his own quarters.

11. How did they handle conflict in the relationship? Who's meaner during an argument?

hohohoho, well see I think Fingon is more rash, more impulsive and would be more opened with his feelings so he's the emotional one during an argument (from crying to yelling and crying again.) meanwhile Maedhros who basically is the embodiment of the Eldest Daughter Syndrome is used to deescalate conflicts (you know how his brothers are...) so he is the level headed one.

BUT :D , when you get on his last nerve, oh boy oh boy is he a mean one. Basically he will verbally murder you with a few asinine and sarcastic words that are carefully selected to impact maximum emotional damages.

Post Thangorodrim, he's more prone to coldly lash out and be mean on purpose - that's how he copes and Fingon knows it so they sort of try to navigate this new dynamic.

24. What’s a Russingon AU you often daydream about?

I HAVE SO MANY

i mean technically Reembodied Maedhros is an AU (sobs) so i love to daydream about how it would go for him and Fingon. It's not necessarily happy at the start because of ...well, all the murders and war crimes...so Fingon has the right to be extremely pissed off. (that's my fav way to write him in a post Valinor AU. then the kinky angry sex.)

Another one I will have one day to motivate me to write about is an AU where Maedhros dies on the Thangorodrim. Either by Fingon's hand (Manwë does not interfere) or he dies in Angband. It could be so interesting to navigate both choices from Fingon's POV (the painnnn) but also the opportunity it can represents - the Noldor civil unrest between Nolofinwëans / Arafinwëans vs the Fëanoreans, how Maglor fares as High King, all the butterfly effects of Maedhros not being there to hold his brothers in check etc...

And consequently having him being reembodied then sent back to Beleriand after a while and the new perspective on the Oath etc...

#russingon #answered #i looooooooove them normally

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agentrouka-blog · 2 years

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I think people forget that Gendry in show got Edric Storm plot. Gendry in books is a tertiary character. If Ary@ is going to meet him in books, it will be at Riverrun. But I don't think he would go to WF with her. Also like him, Mya Stone is introduced to Sansa story. Both Baratheon bastards befriended Stark girls in disguise.

Yes, it’s sad that they turned Gendry into this carricature. :(

The most interesting and significant thing about her friendship with Gendry is that they have genuine classist conflict. Which is why I also believe that they will likely meet again, and in a different universe with a time skip may have explored that with a vaguely romantic angle. As it is, it’s still waiting for another confrontation on the subject of class conflict and respect.

When Arya wants to escape Harrenhal, Gendry is not enthused. He is, in fact, deeply sarcastic.

"And if we did escape, where would we go?"

"Winterfell," she said at once. "I'd tell Mother how you helped me, and you could stay—"

"Would m'lady permit? Could I shoe your horses for you, and make swords for your lordly brothers?"

Sometimes he made her so angry. "You stop that!" "Why should I wager my feet for the chance to sweat in Winterfell in place of Harrenhal? You know old Ben Blackthumb? He came here as a boy. Smithed for Lady Whent and her father before her and his father before him, and even for Lord Lothston who held Harrenhal before the Whents. Now he smiths for Lord Tywin, and you know what he says? A sword's a sword, a helm's a helm, and if you reach in the fire you get burned, no matter who you're serving. Lucan's a fair enough master. I'll stay here." (ACOK, Arya IX)

She considers Gendry her pack, but Gendry has a very different outlook on life. She is a “wolf” because she has a house sigil, she is ultra highborn nobility, while for Gendry the lords are like the clouds that come and go far out of his reach. They are not the same.

That's not to say he's right in thinking that who rules makes zero difference to the smallfolk, but Arya is essentially viewing him as a transferable good. Her father allowed her to bring her swordmaster Syrio along to Winterfell, why can't she just bring along her blacksmith friend? His perspective is entirely secondary to her own, and his lack of agreement, his invocation of their status difference doesn’t cause her to respond with even a reasonable counter-argument. Just anger at his lack of cooperation.

This conflict is not resolved from either end.

One of their last exchanges before being separated features a return to the class divide and how it shapes their priorities.

Gendry joins the Brotherhood for very deliberate, political reasons. He chooses his own group, based on his own sense of justice. He willingly accepts the risk to his life, answers the question he asked a book earlier. Why wager his feet for the choice who to serve? Because it does matter. He has evolved in his priorities.

“At the hollow hill, what you said about being King Robert’s men, and brothers, I liked that. I liked that you gave the Hound a trial. Lord Bolton just hanged folk or took off their heads, and Lord Tywin and Ser Amory were the same. I’d sooner smith for you.”

Arya has no evolved yet at that point. All she hears is:

Arya bit her lip. He means to leave me too.

Her reaction is to lash out to cover up her hurt feelings, as she usually does:

As Arya was cinching her saddle girth, Gendry came up to say that he was sorry. She put a foot in the stirrup and swung up into her saddle, so she could look down on him instead of up. You could have made swords at Riverrun for my brother, she thought, but what she said was, “If you want to be some stupid outlaw knight and get hanged, why should I care? I’ll be at Riverrun, ransomed, with my brother.”

She dismisses his personal convictions and frames them in contrast to the privilege of serving her family, she clings to her own status as a highborn lady worth of ransom, from up on her horse.

This becomes an uncomfortable stance to take later. Their final exchange before her kidnapping is about this:

“Did the Lannisters kill the people who lived here?” Arya asked as she helped Anguy dry the horses. “No.” He pointed. (...)

“Who did it, then?” asked Gendry.

“Hoster Tully.” Notch was a stooped thin grey-haired man, born in these parts. “This was Lord Goodbrook’s village. When Riverrun declared for Robert, Goodbrook stayed loyal to the king, so Lord Tully came down on him with fire and sword. After the Trident, Goodbrook’s son made his peace with Robert and Lord Hoster, but that didn’t help the dead none.”

A silence fell. Gendry gave Arya a queer look, then turned away to brush his horse. (ASOS, Arya VIII)

That noble lord killing smallfolk is her grandfather. Her people. Killing people like Gendry. They are not the same.

Their relationship is begging to be revisited. To show Arya having grown beyond viewing lowborn people through the lens of her personal attachment or her own sense of justice, but within the context of her own privilege. To make room for their perspective even if it doesn’t include her. To actually be a lady, own her privilege and answer it with duty.

There is a theme of comparing their hands. “She has the hands of a blacksmith”. He laughs at her dainty hands and says she couldn’t wield a hammer, yet she has calluses from training with a sword. Swords are made by blacksmiths. Her weapon is made by his hands.

If Gendry represents the smallfolk, and Arya the nobility, then she needs to become worthy of carrying a sword, of being handed that privilege by people like him. Not because it’s “a shade more fun than needlework”, but because it represents power and justice and needs to be tempered with duty and responsibility.

Arya’s sword needs to serve the people, not herself.

Sadly, all the show saw in them was an opportunity to get Maisie naked. :(

#classism #arya stark #gendry waters #anti game of thrones #rouka queue #arya stark critical #anti arya stark #<- just to keep away the stans

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