I feel that with this latest episode it’s more obvious the emphasis on physical damage in Protocol. You pay with your body, you change yourself, you give blood to this entities so that you might reap a benefit.

There’s the self harm in ep.2 and this one, the doctor in ep.3 changing completely into a tree, the violin from 4 always takes blood in one way or another, the guy from the liminal spaces ended up with one finger missing, we have the descriptions of mangled bodies from ep.9 and 12

It feels like nothing can stay under the surface anymore. You will become a living tapestry of your life and it will be the norm rather than the exception.

Thinking about Mat’s first meeting with Olver. Just this twenty year old who’s so frustrated with responsibility that despite hating fighting goes into this situation looking for an excuse to hit someone. Then he sees that a kids involved, and he tries to diffuse the situation, he’s tired and just wants to solve this quickly so he can go back to the inn and get some sleep- then this full grown man threatens to kill a child, for the crime of roughing his horse. And Mat, Mat KNOWS what it’s like to be that kid, too curious for his own good and getting into trouble, but never NEVER has anyone threatened to hurt him over it. And Mat without any thought for potential repercussions breaks a dudes wrist and hits the other right between the legs. And then he threatens to have the lot of them run out of town by the Band because they had the audacity to say that Olver was “just a peasant child” as of that changed the situation for Mat, a horse traders son in fancy clothes. Because to Mat that’s all he is, a peasant in nice clothes. Then he’s trying to figure out what to do with Olver, since his parents are no where to he found, and Olver tells him not to talk about him like he isn’t there. And Mat ACKNOWLEDGES that, he apologizes and kneels down so they can be eye level. He doesn’t talk down to Olver, because he knows what it’s like to have other people make decisions for him. He is so keenly aware of his Olver feels, the frustration and rebelliousness that comes from being a child because he isn’t that far removed from it. Just three years ago he was still just a kid, older and a bit more mature than Olver perhaps, but still just a kid and one who hadn’t seen the horrors that ten year old Olver had seen. He acknowledges Olver’s feelings and talks to him like he’s anyone else, and redirects Olver’s stubbornness so skillfully. He’s just so good with kids in a way that not even just having two younger sisters can account for. He Gets It, the parts of him that others consider immature are what make him so good at communicating with Olver.

Then think about this from Olver’s perspective. He’s been alone for who knows how long, forced to flee his home, to bury his mother, and now all alone in some strange place. He was likely sleeping in the stables, and that was how he ended up trying to make friends with the Hunter of the Horns horse. Then this Hunter drags him out to the middle of the street, threatening to Jill him. Olver was brave about it but it must’ve been terrifying. Especially upon realizing that none of the other refugees would help. Then suddenly a man in nobles clothes, a strange hat and the coolest looking spear he’s probably ever seen intercedes on his behalf. A man Olver has never seen before, a foreigner no less, but here he is coming to rescue Olver like some gleemans hero. Then Olver sees Mat fight, while to Mat this was hardly even a struggle, a few cracks with the blunt of his spear and the ‘fight’ is over, but to Olver, Mat probably looked like a warder with how easily he handled two armed men presumably trained in using those swords they carry. We as an audience see Mat mainly through the eyes of people who don’t take him seriously, Mat himself included, so it’s easy to overlook just how badass Mat must seem to anyone else looking from the outside, especially a young angry boy who wants to fight the aiel who killed his father. We don’t know how Olver found out, or when, but imagine being Olver and hearing the most certainly exaggerated story of Mat “dueling” Couladin. Is it any wonder that Olver hero worships Mat? That inspite of what Olver perceived as Mat being hypocritical and foolish(or as Mat sees it trying to properly care for a child and be a good influence) he still considers Mat to be someone to emulate. Whether Olver sees Mat as more a mentor, brother or father figure he very clearly idolizes him. He wants to be like Mat, he wants Mat’s attention and praise because despite Mat being “no bloody hero” to this little boy he IS a hero, one worthy of any gleemans story

one thing I really really love about dndads and especially anthony’s dming is how varied and intricate the portrayals of abuse and family trauma are. each and every family is fucked up and it would be so easy to make that fucked upness one note but that is never the case. willy could’ve just been the stereotypical angry, shouting, over-the-top toxically masculine abusive dad we commonly see in media but he isn’t. and that nuance really hammers home the central generational trauma. it’s not simple it’s not felt the same way and it’s produced clear effects on so many characters but in such different ways each time. it’s just so fucking good and dare I say. one of the best overall portrayals of abuse in media.

Thinking about Vampire!Rhys a little too much at work 🥵🥵🥵

But like????

•Vamp!Rhys that wears those slutty little male corsets, you know the ones I’m talking about don’t lie.

•thousand year old Vamp!Rhys that throws masquerade balls in his lavish mansion to attract unsuspecting humans, because why go out and hunt when fresh blood will come right to him?

•Vamp!Rhys that pulls you into his lap so you can straddle his waist while he sinks his fangs into your neck, because his little human pet should get some pleasure out of this too

•Vamp!Rhys who intentionally leaves bite marks above your shirt collar so all the other vampires in the area know you’re his and there will be hell to pay if they even think about trying to feed on you

Hold up I got more ideas, I gotta go write a fic brb

I’m watching Batman Begins tonight and seeing Thomas carry Bruce as a child up from the well like he weighs nothing? He seems so much larger than life. Caring eyes and quiet confidence.

GUYS LOOK AT JASON RN LIKE RN

Right now I’m sitting in bed CRYING LIKE A DAMN BABY because I started thinking about Aziraphale and it made me feel feelings

I’m having too many emotions and I DO NOT KNOW WHY I AM LIKE THIS

god when we pass by the spot where robert slew rhaegar on the trident in agot, it’s so interesting how grrm purposely told it through arya’s pov as she’s the youngest pov character besides bran, so as a result this moment lends itself a sort of legendary quality in time. robert’s rebellion happened So Long before arya was born that it might as well be one of Old Nan’s stories about bran the builder or nymeria the wandering queen, and it’s clever to sort of ingratiate the reality of this feudal system through the lens of a child in this way. for her, this is all the world has ever been. Rhaegar has always lost at the trident. The Targaryens have never ruled the iron throne. Robert has always been king. then ofc over the next several books grrm picks apart this world that’s been constructed so carefully around her, and shows how vulnerable and fragile it is. it shows how the ghosts of the rebellion are living, breathing people like daenerys targaryen and, later, jon snow. and so she passes by the spot where rhaegar died on the trident without a second thought because that’s always been where rhaegar has died, always where he was going to die, and yet the ghosts of what could have been continue to haunt all of westeros

Something about Bill asking Darby what she wants, being so careful with her, and asking for her consent before they have sex and Bill being so aware and providing Darby with gentle intimacy in a world full of violence toward women. The show refusing to show violence toward women on screen and instead showing Darby being loved and cared for on this journey, the emphasis on the warmth of their human connection in the warmly lit motel rooms and Midwest landscape contrasting with the icy, technology and AI-ridden atmosphere of the retreat.

I have officially begun the last chapter of ToL. This doesn’t feel real.

ok wait hear me out. beard finds out that ted wants to go back to kansas. or feels like he has to. whatever it is, ted’s going back to kansas and beard, because he knows ted, knows that that’s a terrible idea. he knows that will only isolate ted and make him miserable, so he does what he does best: he protects ted.

but this time, he’s protecting ted from himself by telling him straight up that henry needs him to be mentally healthy and emotionally available more than henry needs him to be in kansas. that henry needs a parent who is able and willing to talk to him abt the difficult things, to be vulnerable, to truly form a relationship with him more than he needs ted to be in the same country as him. that there are ways for ted to be there for henry—to be a better father for henry—that don’t involve him removing himself from his entire support system.

You know that feeling that’s like “I rushed through this scene, it was such a random thing to even put here, none of this makes any sense” and then you get to editing and it actually works with the theme and flow and with a little fleshing out is a really good scene?

Yeah that’s me with basically the entire story except the first chapter. Every damn time.

I’m not going to articulate this well but:

It’s not that Vader is Anakin Skywalker…

It’s that Anakin Skywalker is Vader, do you understand?????

Ok but the entire season was leading up and showing us that while Crowley knows he’s lying and fucking up the plan, Aziraphale still thinks he’s mostly doing the right thing! He has been actively working against the “divine plan” almost since he met Crowley but Crowley has shielded him completely from the knowledge that he’s doing it.

Because Crowley takes the blame and lets Aziraphale think he’s doing the Good thing, Aziraphale still thinks he’s been doing heaven’s work. Aziraphale believes that he’s just doing it all in a slightly different way rather than totally fucking things up and lying and going against everything he’s supposed to do. Crowley knows it. Crowley has been fully aware of his own path and he knows what Aziraphale feels and thinks as well and he also KNOWS that despite his doubts Aziraphale cares too much about being Right and Good and Heavenly. And because Crowley loves him and knows what it is to lose his own faith he has been protecting Aziraphale from that the whole time by taking responsibility for “tempting” the Angel into things he already wanted to do anyway.

Of course Aziraphale thinks he can change Heaven. He doesn’t even know that he’s been defying them so badly. He hasn’t had to confront it. Crowley didn’t even tell him he’d be fully erased from existence for helping Gabriel. He doesn’t know that he has been off heaven’s side for a very long time. Aziraphale trusted Crowley so much that he doesn’t realize Crowley has been twisting the truth this whole time to make him feel better about doing the wrong thing. And it backfires because Crowley assumes Aziraphale knows the truth of his own actions.

It’s ok I’m just screaming.

Hitojaku duet……… I’m crying. It’s so good.