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hot-astrology · 1 day

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Venus Retrograde

(The love i once had)

Venus! one of the most lovely planets that loves. But everyone doesn't get to enjoy it the same way or have its fairytale play out the same way in their lives. Around 8 % of people have Venus retrograde in their natal chart. When a planet goes retrograde, in a persons chart its a life lesson and a new cycle of events that makes the person get new perspective of life and how this energy plays out. The person will learn how to go within and depend on their own values, and have more of a self introspective with what life has for them. Maybe last life time or times the person didn't use these energies wisely or could have not used them at all. It can make a person not satisfied with what they see or what a person presents to them. Maybe you could of been a person who always pushed out love, money, attention, to others but always seem to come up short and left high and dry with your feelings, emotions and desires left unfullfilled. We all want to be loved, cared for as well give it to others who deserve it. This is where it gets tricky and the struggle for those with this retrograde placement.

This life you are here to give yourself everything you want to push out to others. Its never selfish loving yourself first, and doing things that brings you joy or make you happy. As well you need to understand who deserves your LOVE, ENERGY, GIFTS, TIME and beautiful HEART. Its time to go within and understand why you love who you love or why you keep attracting the same encounters. Maybe its a karmic lesson that mirrors your insecurities, wants, needs, lust, desires, and old habits. Now this will play out differently in each and every ones chart, due to sign, house, aspect, degrees and life path. For the most part its a beautiful experience to go through, we at times look at things that deal with change, uncomfortability, and what the mass says, once you go through it and experience it yourself, it hits different.

When having a retrograde its like having opposing energies, you will play out the opposite sign and house but on the negative traits of that sign and house. Once you understand this you can shift the energies to your favor and use them to evolve into the new you. Thats why you can learn so much from the opposite of yourself, kind of like the ying yang, sun and moon etc.

Also degrees can play a major role in this situation. It can point to what area of life or what energy you need to change or adapt into to help you focus on transforming this outdated image.

Now we will give you some examples or placements with Venus retrograde and you will see how plays out in your chart and give you a better insight on your lifes experience.

Cancer/ Venus retrograde

Here can bring an individual who can love so hard that it smothers their partner. Fear of rejection, being not good enough could make this person emotionally broken and insecure. So they tend to overcompensate with over loving a person and not loving their selves. These individuals can be extra sensitive with any situation dealing with love matters, care and the heart. Need to love yourself as you would your partner, only then you will develop growth and bring others into your warm heart and get it back 10 fold. Be your own mother and nuture your broken and confused heart.

Scorpio/Venus retrograde

Well Venus in scorpio would be in detriment, so this makes this placement a little more challenging. For a retrograde ( our opinion ) the person will be extra picky, secluded, and like things how they like it. Kind of like a Virgo thats why Scorpio and virgo kind of have simular traits, but thats a different topic. So this will make them want to know everything about you. As well hesitate in pursuing a relationship, their relationships can be hidden and secretive. You need to fully open your hidden heart and experience deep transformative experiences. Learn your deep subconscious traits and the love, trust and loyalty you expect from others. Once you meet that partner you will be with them through thick and thin and also the toxic side.

Aries/Venus retrograde

Usually venus in aries would be your warrior, quick to talk to that girl or dude but not with this retrograde. They will be more of a shy type and kind of not letting people know about certain rejections in their love life, could get extra defensive when it comes to anything in the losing realm. You can be very dependent on other, feel like you need others help to be assertive and to gain money. You need to be independent and rely on yourself and own abilities. You need to go within to find that part of you that wants more in life from money, love, confidence, personal achievements etc. Remember you are in aries energy its a fire sign, so go after what you want and desire.

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trinalwilliams · 2 months

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Absolute

Reaching for the sunlight

Absolute loneliness

I buried a thousand precious little thoughts

So fragile my wounds so deep

Clinging to the depths of depression

Reaching for the sunlight

Wisdom at the Horizon

Tender cracks pulling pictures from my core

Courage disappearing creating madness

Seeking my rhythm

While a blanket of masks were covering me

I wept as my melody arrived

Oceans showering crashing my thoughts

My illusions started painting a bridge

Dreamed intentions started to reveal

I surrendered

And justice prevailed

Tlw

#poetry #love #thoughts #wisdom #rap #poem #words #within #spilled ink #inspirit #freedom #letting go #justice

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vypridae · 7 months

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headcanons for gogol in love?

ohhh he'd HATE being in love so much because he'd see love as a chain to the earth. he'd see love being a cage that isn't as easy to escape from as he wished it was, he would hate how much he'd need to be with whoever he's fallen for, how much he might start relying on them, he'd try to do anything he can to rid himself of that love but he wouldn't be able to and then he'd end up just accepting it.

once he accepts it he'd act like nothing is different. he'd try to keep himself from being too clingy (he would be so clingy to whoever he falls for lets be so so real rn), he might be a bit clingier but it'd seem relatively the same. he'd never want to confess, he's too against the commitment that would come with a relationship so he waits until they reciprocate, no matter how long it might take, but if whoever he likes does end up confessing, then i mean, who is he to deny them?

also im going with my silly hc that he loves cooking and he would LOVE to make food at random for who he's in love with, he'd make sure they take care of themselves and would surprise them with food or somethign to drink or something, make sure they take breaks (because he himself cant stand sitting in one place for that long so how in the hell can other people?)

he'd think about whoever he's fallen for constantly and he would definitely hate that, they occupy his thoughts so much he cant feel as free as he wishes he could anymore, and he hates that he loves that feeling.

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filmografie · 1 year

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Favorite films of 2022:

Hive, dir. Blerta Basholli

Great Freedom, dir. Sebastian Meise

The Fire Within: Requiem for Katia and Maurice Krafft, dir. Werner Herzog

TÁR, dir. Todd Fields

What Do We See When We Look At The Sky?, dir. Alexandre Koberidze

The Eternal Daughter, dir. Joanna Hogg

One Fine Morning, dir. Mia Hansen-Løve

Nothing Compares, dir. Kathryn Ferguson

Aftersun, dir. Charlotte Wells

Decision to Leave, dir. Park Chan-wook

#w22*#2022 favorites #2022 in film #hive #great freedom #the fire within: a requiem for katia and maurice krafft #tar #what do we see when we look at the sky?#the eternal daughter #one fine morning #nothing compares #aftersun #decision to leave

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commsroom · 1 year

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to me, the question of whether hera would want a body is first and foremost a question of autonomy and ability. she has an internal self-image, i think it's meaningful that the most pivotal moments in her character arc take place in spaces where she can be perceived the way she perceives herself and interact with others in a (relatively) equal and physical capacity, and that's worth considering. but i don't think it's about how she looks, or even who she is - and i think she's the same person either way; she's equally human without a body, and having a body wouldn't make her lived experience as an AI magically disappear - so much as it's about how she would want to live.

like most things with hera, i'm looking at this through a dual lens of disability and transness, both perspectives from which the body - and particularly disconnect from the body - is a concern. the body as the mechanism by which she's able to interact with the world; understanding her physical isolation as a product of her disability, the body as a disability aid. the body as it relates to disability, in constant negotiation. the body as an expression of medical transition, of self-determination, of choice. as a statement of how she wants to be seen, how she wants to navigate the world, and at the same time reckoning with the inevitable gap between an idealized self-image and a lived reality, especially after a long time spent believing that self-image could never be visible to anyone else.

it's critical to me that it should never imply hera's disability is 'fixed' by having a body, only that it enables her to interact with the world in ways she otherwise couldn't. her fears about returning to earth are about safety and ability; the form she exists in dictates the life she's allowed to lead and has allowed people to invade her privacy and make choices for her. dysphoria and disability both contribute to disembodiment - in an increasingly digitized world, the type of alienation that feels like your life can only exist in a virtual space... maybe there's something about the concept of AI embodiment, in particular as it relates to hera, that appeals to me because of what it challenges about what makes a 'real woman.' when it's about perception, about how others see her and how she might observe / be impacted by how she's treated differently, even subconsciously. it's about feeling more present in her life and interfacing with the world. but it's not in itself a becoming; it doesn't change how she's been shaped by her history or who she is as a person.

i think it comes back to the 'big picture' as a central antagonistic force in wolf 359, and how - in that context, in this story - it adds a weight to this hypothetical choice. hera is everywhere, and she's never really anywhere. she's got access to more knowledge than most people could imagine, but it's all theoretical or highly situational; she doesn't have the same life experiences as her peers. she has the capacity to understand that 'big picture' better than most people, but whatever greater portion of the universe she understands is nothing next to infinity and meaningless without connection and context. it's interesting to me that hera is one of the most self-focused and introspective people on the show. her loyalties and decisions are absolute, personal, emotionally driven. she's lonely; she always feels physically away from the others. she misremembers herself sitting at the table with the rest of the crew. she imagines what the ocean is like. there's nothing to say that hera having a body is the only solution for that, but i like what it represents, and i honestly believe it'd make her happier than the alternatives. if there's something to a symbolically narrowed focus that allows for a more solid sense of self... that maybe the way to make something of such a big, big universe is to find a tiny portion of it that's yours and hold onto it tight.

#wolf 359 #w359 #hera wolf 359 #idk. processing something. as always i have more to say but it's impossible to communicate all at once #it's a meaningful idea to me and i think there's a LOT more that can be done with it thematically than just. the assumption of normalcy #so much of hera's existence is about feeling trapped and that's only going to get worse on earth and within these two contexts #that's something i really feel for. especially with. mmm.#i don't like the idea that who hera is is tied to the way she exists because it seems to weirdly reinforce her own misconception #that there can never be another life for her.#and all of these things are specific to hera and to the themes of wolf 359 and NOT about AI characters in general #in other stories there are other considerations.#the best argument i can make against it is that she says getting visuals from one place is weird and she doesn't like it. but that's #a totally different situation where it's a further limitation of her ability without a trade off. it's a different consideration i think #when it allows her more freedom. to go somewhere and be completely alone by herself. to feel like she has more control and more privacy #to be able to hug her friends. or feel the rain. it would be one thing if she felt content existing 'differently'#but she... doesn't. canonically she doesn't. and i think that has to be taken into account.#i think you can tell a meaningful and positive story about disability without giving her physical form on earth too #but i think it has to be considered that those are limitations for her and that the way she exists feels isolating to her.#idk. a lot of the suggestions people come up with feel like they're coming from a place of compromise that i don't think is necessary #there are plenty of ways that having a body would be difficult for hera and i guess it's hopeful to me to think #maybe she'd still find it worth it.

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inarichi · 2 years

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Freedom Within

Pairing: Kaisoo Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Surfing, Surfer Jongin Rating: M Length: Oneshot (6k w.) Summary: The ocean is unforgiving and perilous, especially for a rich workaholic like Kyungsoo. And out of all the dangers lurking within the waves, the worst of them? Sexy, charismatic local surfers.

Read

#kaisoo #kai #jongin #kyungsoo #kaisoo fanfic #mine oneshot #fic fest #freedom within #niniplanet #surfers #sookai

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akimojo · 9 months

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people love to use ffxiii’s messy development as a reason to completely shit on the game but honestly the fact they managed to sneak in so many little details in the gameplay in a way that reflects the characters and story despite all the miscommunication between the dev sections is just impressive to me

#was xiii horribly planned out and missed out on a lot of important feedback because of the poor time management? absolutely #does that mean you cant be impressed with what the game achieved regardless of whether you liked it or not? fuck no #also the fact theres next to no bugs (not counting the pc port because... yeah) is amazing all things considered #and the graphics still hold up to this day #the linearity is everyones main issue with the game but look at x dude #x was linear as hell too but it makes sense bc yuna had a pilgrimage to follow #just as how it makes sense for the xiii cast to not have time to stop and explore cocoon while they were being hunted by the government #thats why you have so much more freedom to explore when youre on pulse #theres not even anything objectively wrong with having a game be linear in the first place #and the people complaining about the story being ''incoherent'' are just... wrong?#they give you enough hints within the dialogue to piece the story together yourself while also not leaning on exposition dumps to tell it #and if you cant do that then the datalogs are right THERE #games have relied on ''notes'' to tell parts of their story for ages now and i dont understand why its suddenly bad when xiii does it #i dont like sitting through exposition dumps and i like being able to analyse and theorize about a plot WHILE im experiencing it #and a lot of other people feel the same way so its not an objectively bad aspect of the game's storytelling #you just need to pay attention and be patient and wait for the story to unfold #i went off the rails but ANYWAY #aki stfu #final fantasy xiii

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tackykachowch · 7 months

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Something something Wheatley representing blue and Chell representing orange - colors of the portals - makes them always connected and integral to each other's journeys and they were basically destined to cross paths eventually something something

#not a chelly post!!!#this post is about how without Wheatley Chell would never be able to leave Aperture safely at the least at all at the most #and Wheatley wouldn't be able to see fundamental flaws within himself and (hopefully) become a better person #and well. thanks to her he also gained freedom from Aperture only a slightly different one #also how thanks to Wheatley GLaDOS is also able to finally find closure and fully be free from scientists influence and be herself at last #but that's a topic for another conversation #wheatly portal 2 #portal wheatley #wheatley #portal chell #chell

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rozecrest · 1 year

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i am fascinated by a core of both knives out movies being the exploitation of a woman of color, marta and andi. with marta, even as she still works there she’s subject to racist and xenophobic conversation, is masqueraded as part of the family but as soon as she becomes an obstacle to harlan’s fortune they instantly turn on her and threaten, blackmail, harass and insult her character. their affection for her is highly conditional! she is more of a useful constant service than a person to them! with andi, despite her wealth and therefore higher autonomy that marta at the beginning of her film, does the work of bringing the disruptors togethers and inventing the concept that shot them to the top, and is then shut out, and then murdered by miles for doing the responsible thing of refusing klear. though it isn’t named within the film, the image of these people she raised up (largely white, but lionel being a black man choosing misogynoir and self preservation over solidarity is very pointed) lying on her in court, letting her righteous anger be painted as aggressiveness, and paving the way for this white man who was nobody before he met her to steal everything she had and call it solely his own is a VERY familiar image! it’s very clever!

#these movies have a lot to say about class race social status and such within theory mystery and i think thats really fun i double featured #first watch of them this weekend at had a blast!!!!#also tangentially related i think miles' obsession with the mona lisa felt objectifying in a way a lot of people engage with that painting a #nd her getting burst out of the security cage and getting to burn his empire down with her felt like A VICTORY! FREEDOM!#glass onion spoilers #knives out #chats

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liesmyth · 4 months

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that one post I rb'd earlier about France and laicité and Macron celebrating Chanukah is still making me made just thinking about it. That came in the same week as Masha Gessen being almost stripped of the Hannah Arendt prize because they wrote an essay about Gaza (incidentally, Gessen is Jewish). I'm just really, massively tired of the current climate in Western Europe where political and civil authorities pay lip service to diversity and pluralism but actually actively suppress diverse voices. Case in point, lots of framing Judaism = Israel while actively making life harder for their Jewish communities.

I'm not eloquent enough to word this properly, but it's infuriating to witness. It's not a new attitude by any means, but it's rooted in racism and xenophobia and I hate that it's getting so much fresh mileage lately. I wish more people (& local press) called it out for what it is.

#As an Italian: I can't even begin to explain how shitty our current right-wing government is #They love to push on the `cultural wars` and `great replacement` angle #they rely on catholicism for electoral purposes + give no shits about the rampant antisemitism + the blatant fascism within their ranks #& are openly racist and Islamophobic #But they looove Netanyahu — as a fellow right-winger #& as a fellow racist fearmonger about scary Arabs #and they're the kind of conservative western christians #who love the idea of a Jewish state just so they can send all Jews there and keep Italy catholic #also thinking about Biden who just last week said #`Without Israel there wouldn’t be a Jew in the world who is safe` like he isn't the leader of a country with a significant Jewish populatio #whose saftey should maye be HIS concern? also like. Dual loyalty? In 2023? More likely than you think #I don't really have A point here I'm just blathering but that post made my fucking blood boil #it just shows how much western european gvts like to weaponise 'religious freedom'#picking and choosing what is the unremarkable default #and they're nearly always fucking racist about it #sorry if im not making sense lmao. i'm tired #current events #european blogging

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paperstarwriters · 8 months

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ive come kneeling at your doorstep to beg for that essay on murio and luciels parallels you mentioned 👀💦👉👈

i love loathing lucio so much so it would deal my lil hater ass so much psychic damage and i cannot wait to get rekt

(onlyifyouwanttothoofcoursetakeyourtime)(just making sure youre aware id print that shit n frame it above my bed were it to come to existence)

Hello @tetsuooooooooooo! I know you said I can take my time, ok I'm still really really sorry this took awhile, I've been kinda burnt out from classes lately, and writing a bunch of essays for that lol, but I've managed to make a somewhat coherent argument for my case here lol.

Now, to preface this:

I only really like Lucio as a character to thematically dissect and kick around occasionally for giggles. I am a far, far cry from a Lucio stan, I just find him interesting—like a bug. Honestly I don't think I'm gonna convince you he's in any way a good guy I just might make you loathe him more 😅

I haven't played Lucio's route. I'm too busy and I get too annoyed with some of his antics + the options of reactions that MC is allowed to make. I've only played the side stories and a lot of my understanding of his character is built from Muriel's route (and I know he's much more different in his own route than he is in the others') as well as hearsay from other people talking about Lucio

I know I said that I'd include Aurora's songs in my original statement but that got wayyyyyyy too messy so I'm just opting to exclude them lol. (not to mention youtube is doing a very irritatingly strange thing of deleting and then reuploading Aurora's songs??? so I don't wanna deal with the messy files :/)

With that out of the way here is my essay :)

Wordcount: 2,908

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Muriel and Lucio are both very, very caught up in how they are seen by others. While it's clearer when it comes to Lucio, it is also made clear in Muriel by the fact that Social anxiety is often caused by stress over how a person is perceived and their mental belief that they are helpless to change that perception. This causes of their self perception are also quite similar, due to their similar histories, but in the same way that there are some notable opposites between them with their struggle for their identity there is also some notable differences in their histories that arguably causes the slight difference in their struggle for their self image.

To begin with their history, Muriel and Lucio are noted to both come from the South. They come from two opposing tribes, and are both eventually chased out of their home and community by 1) a cruel person who arguably causes their struggle of identity and 2) the plague. Of course, the major difference here is that Lucio actively made decisions that would lead to him being chased out of his tribe, he was arguably aware that if it failed he'd have to leave, he just hadn't considered that it would actually fail.

Muriel on the other hand is chased out of his home at a much younger age, and he has no choice in his eviction from his home or his family. There is no action that Muriel could have done that would have allowed him to stay where he was, unlike Lucio who had a clear option that would have allowed him to stay.

Or at least would have allowed him to stay until he grew tired of his mother's attitude towards him.

I don't believe that Morga's cruel and dismissive attitude towards Lucio started when he tried to kill her, rather, I believe that she has been doing that for a long, long time. She often states that she had been "too soft" on Lucio, but I think her "softness" is the same kind we see in Muriel's route. She berates him, she threatens him, she tells him how awful and unskilled he is to everyone else and makes a show of his failures, but when she is completely and fully enraged and is about to hit Lucio, she hesitates.

Is that softness? To her perhaps. To the tribe, perhaps. But not to me, and not to Lucio.

So, despite all of the harsh words thrown his way, he decides to take action to prove her wrong. I'm willing to bet that a lot of Morga's criticisms were about how strong he was and how he was in fact not actually as strong as he could have been, not as strong as he should have been. That's why when he takes action to prove Morga wrong, he immediately snaps to killing her. There is, after all, no better way than showing your power than killing your opponent (we see this belief in Morga when she spars against Muriel and he beats her.) Of course, in hand-to-hand combat, and on fair terms, Lucio can't actually defeat his mother, so he takes to more under-handed methods in order to beat her.

When this fails, it is the first major wound on his self-image. He cannot defeat his mother. He is not strong enough to defeat his mother despite cheating.

So, he runs away.

Besides marking a wound on his self-image, this also marks Lucio's connection to others. Having been exiled from his tribe, he is disconnected from the friends who may have actually supported him somewhat, he is robbed of his connections and separated from anyone who may have actually loved and cared for him (platonically and/or romantically)

Similarly, Muriel's separation from his own family, and his eventual abandonment into the streets of Vesuvia separates him from any stable sense of love and affection as well. Because he was separated from loving parents as a child and was likely surrounded by a number of children who were abandoned because they were unwanted, or because their parents were unable to care for them, Muriel has no other answer than what the other kids give him it is the only answer he has. Further more I believe that Muriel was probably abandoned by that merchant because they were unable to keep feeding him, which he also attaches onto his real parents as to why he was abandoned in the first place.

And so Muriel believes himself to be unloved and unlovable after being separated from family, or any semblance of a family.

Returning to Lucio, he moves on from his tribe and eventually joins a military group(? I think? Idk. I'm sure there was a specific name for it but I can't remember sorry) Once again, this is an act of trying to prove to his mother and to his community that they were wrong, and when compared to the ordinary person outside of their tribe, he's actually a really good and capable fighter. Of course, however, this is inevitably cut short as he looses his arm, and is once again confronted with the fact that he is unskilled as a warrior and so he retreats from his perceived deficiency and takes a different route to getting the love and admiration he wants—politics.

Of course, as we see in Muriel and Asra's childhood tale, this inevitably puts him into direct conflict as, in order to climb the social ladder he offers to "clean up" the streets. While it's largely left up to interpretation as to whether or not the Threat of Asra's safety came first or Muriel's position as a gladiator came first, I can't help but believe that Muriel's position as a gladiator came first, as otherwise, he might've gone out and tried to check on Asra's safety. (though this is mostly a headcannon) I believe that Lucio offered Muriel a chance to have some say in who gets "cleaned up" from the streets, and for Muriel to be able to get rid of the "actually bad criminals". Regardless of whether or not this is true, the arena gives Muriel his first taste of admiration, as people cheer for and adore him, but it also tears that sense of admiration away as he eventually has to come to terms with what he is doing. Whether that sense of dread and awareness was always there or it occurred somewhere in the middle is also unknown but the outcome is the same regardless. Being known and being admired becomes tied to hurting and harming people—because it is the only trait he sees that other people admire, he sees it as his only lovable trait.

And so Lucio and Muriel begin to reflect each other—and I don't mean reflect as in they show the same image, I mean reflect as in we see a similar image, but the image is reversed (*wink wink nudge nudge*). Here Muriel sees himself as only capable of being loved for his ability to commit violence, and Lucio sees himself as being incapable of being loved because he cannot complete the amount of violence he needs to commit.

Now, I feel the need to emphasize here, despite having many people around him who Lucio may truly believe love and admire him, the people around him very likely don't actually care for him very much because they either do not know him well, or they see him as little more than a pawn in a plan, or at least someone who gives them benefits. And even if there are a number of people with genuine admiration for Lucio, it still wouldn't be enough. Admiration is never enough when you lack genuine emotional connections with others, and Lucio, clearly does.

Again, this parallels Muriel who also struggles with a lack of genuine emotional connections to others. Although he has Asra with him, it's clear that, Asra's tendency to be fickle with connections has extended to him as well, especially when Asra spends more time with MC than him, leaving Muriel feeling abandoned and alone. Considering that Asra is the only person we ever really see Muriel connect or talk to, it's no stretch to say that Asra is one of Muriel's only friends, if not their only friend period, and so with Asra disappearing on him as often as they do, Muriel is left feeling that he actually has no connections at all.

Of course once again reflecting each other, where Muriel clearly sees he lacks connections and pretends he does not, Lucio, makes unsteady transactional rather than emotional relationships and pretends that that is enough.

It is of course, not enough, because if it were, he wouldn't have treated Muriel like that, he likely wouldn't have plucked Muriel out at all. Although this is largely speculation, I believe that Lucio treated Muriel the way he did because he feels as if Muriel is the very child Morga would have wanted. He is big and strong, and although not technically skilled if Muriel were raised by Morga like Lucio was, he might've been. This is why his first reaction to seeing Muriel and Morga working together is that Muriel is Morga's replacement son. It's because that's how Lucio had been treating him. Muriel is Lucio's little avatar to live out the glory of being a fantastically skilled fighter who can beat up all of his opponents. This is also, why I believe that Lucio purposefully trained Muriel to be less skilled in fighting than he was. In Muriel's route, Lucio comments that he's always been able to beat Muriel, and while I do in fact believe that Lucio is actually a skilled fighter, despite how he is often presented and despite my arguments above—he's most often a skilled fighter in the technical sense. He knows all the movements, he knows all the strategies, he knows all the underhanded tricks. By not fighting Muriel too often, and refusing to teach him these tricks however much it may be able to help Muriel out in the arena, it allows Lucio to be able to defeat him whenever he wants to. It allows Lucio to make it seem to himself that he is better than the person his mother would have wanted as a son, which I believe to be both horrible but also sad, for both Lucio and Muriel.

With Lucio, it shows how desperate and inferior he feels with his fighting skills, constantly trying to compensate for it something we can also see that in the portrait of himself he has in his room.

For Muriel, it keeps him scared, and keeps him pinned in place despite having realized the consequences of his fighting. Something which only furthers his self-hatred when he realizes he actually could have easily left.

So yes, Muriel and Lucio are both very self conscious people, and while for Muriel his self consciousness stems from people seeing him as a monster, and him believing that he is one although he does not want to be one, Lucio is self-conscious in the fact that he is not seen as the brutal fighting warrior he was supposed to be.

These reflected aspects of each other, alongside of their self consciousness is the very thing they struggle through in their routes, the very thing that MC helps them to get through.

Lucio believes that through various paintings of himself that rearranges his past (paintings of himself as a triumphant fighter, while his mother is demure and elegant), various unfair/practically staged fights, and celebrations of himself on top of it all, he would be able to convince people that he is awesome and amazing and that he deserves to be loved. In doing all of this however, Lucio runs away from confronting the beliefs at his core and wondering if perhaps, what he understood as traits that make a person great may be incorrect—that his mother had not just been incorrect on the fact that he was a failure, but on the fact of what makes a person successful or powerful. By constantly covering up what he sees as deficits, Lucio skims over his own internal struggles entirely which makes him look foolish and annoying as he ignores what's so clearly there for others.

Meanwhile, for Muriel, he is aware of his deficits, and is unable to properly hide them without disappearing completely himself, he tries to figure out and fix all of his problems through introspection and isolation, but it is not something he can do on his own. Muriel of course, can't accept the fact that he may need help. He can't accept the fact that despite what he believes of himself, other people may actually care for him the same way he cares for them, and will actually offer help. And so, as he runs away from people and community, from friends, and possible friends alike, Muriel runs away from his own problems as well, even if he tortures himself with confronting them (I can't remember if he actually does this or if this is a fanfic trope 😅) Essentially, by constantly trying to deal with his struggles on his own, he neglects his connections to others who may help him, or at least offer support.

And then MC comes along, and because they both desperately needed that deep connection to someone else, regardless of whether it is something platonic or romantic. MC is able to leverage their relationship in order to further propel Muriel and Lucio's development into acknowledging the thing they refuse to acknowledge, and finally balance out their coping mechanisms, which, on their own isn't actually unhealthy (Lucio's really good at connecting with others; Muriel knows how to confront his inner turmoil) using that single method as their crutch for their traumas only ever hurts them more.

As Muriel progresses through his route, he grows more connected with his community and people. One meaningful moment that I don't think they give enough screen time in the game is the moment that Muriel is forced to confront people recognizing and seeing him again. He's forced to confront everyone's perception of him, their memory of him and he retreats into the mirror maze where he stares at all these reflections of himself, all reversed images of himself, but he believes them all to accurately represent himself—as if his superficial physical image is what represents himself mentally and emotionally. And then MC (and Morga 🙄) come through to him and pull him out of that panic attack (or interrupt and yank him away from properly addressing the problem in Morga's case 😤) And that's the first step to being loved. As they say, in order to let yourself be loved you have to let yourself be known, and in that first step, choosing to step forward and prioritize the lives of others over his own self image, Muriel begins to be admired by others. Genuinely admired, for traits that he likes in himself rather than traits that he hates.

Similarly for Lucio, (although I haven't played his route so this is largely based on hearsay) he's faced with problems that he Has to face on his own (or at least somewhat on his own) the main one being that he has to confront the consequences of his own actions, he has to acknowledge to himself that he isn't perfect and that he can't be perfect. It's why at the end of his route on the upright ending, he leaves Vesuvia, to take on a life of (semi)solitude to further take some time to improve his ability at introspection, while in the Reversed ending he's still talking with people, still trying to manipulate their perceptions of him (and the MC), and still trying to be a "good boy" (ie. perfect) for the MC.

Now, it may be argued that Julian can/should be included in this struggle of how others perceive him but I raise you this; that guy is the most dramatic ass dude in town and his biggest dramatic act was telling everyone about how horrible he is. He clearly has no issues with how other people see him, but he has problems with how he sees himself, which again, reflects Muriel a bit, but I'm sure most people are familiar with their (more blatant) similarities by now lol

So yea.

Muriel and Lucio are reflections of each other. At their core, they both struggle with the same problem of caring way too much about how they're seen by others, but they cope with (and thus worsen) the problem in opposite ways, so when they take steps to heal themself, they also go in opposite directions, with Lucio needing to take some time to himself to get into his own head, while Muriel needs some time away from himself to get out of his own head.

Essentially they're heading in opposite directions to reach the same conclusion: other people's opinions don't matter as much as your own opinion of yourself and the opinions of the people close to you.

Interesting parallels, no?

Of course, I believe this could've been better illustrated if Nyx Hydra didn't rush the last three routes, but alas, this is what fan fiction and fan-analysis is for lol

Anyways I don't tend to poke around the Lucio side of the fandom too much to begin with so if this has all been said and argued before forgive me for the repetition, and If I've gotten some points wrong, please feel free to correct me! I've mentioned before I haven't really played through Lucio's route so some things may be wrong.

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