#focusing has been so hard
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It’s Fukase Friday! ⊂((・▽・))⊃
#vocaloid#art#fanart#vocaart#fukase#procreate#point#Fukase Friday#I really love this boi like so much#I decided to start participating in Fukase Fridays and Miku Mondays#I’ve been stressed a lot lately but thank you for all the kind messages and wishes :D#I read ALL the reblog tags they cheer me up quite a lot#I hope everyone has a good weekend :D#focusing has been so hard#I kinda wanna make a huge Fukase playlist#Fukase’s YOKU cover is a banger
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*aqua voice* TERRAHHH
there is no greater pain that being unable to draw ur fav. terra for whatever reason has just been SOOO hard for me to draw. n i finally after over a yr have made something i think i actually like YAY
terra baby i love you so much
#kingdom hearts#terra kh#birth by sleep#kh bbs#kh terra#TEWWA BAYBEEE IM SORRY#its been a tough balance between a lot of things. 1 trying to translate the square enix style into my own. HARD. especially the hair#2 trying to inject my hcs. i like to interpret terra as a bit boxier than in canon but ive been having diffuculty keeping it *terra*#for a long time i think i went too sharp n too masculine trying to emphasize the darker more hostile part of his character#but then it just. didnt look like him.#so i went softer this time more rounded shapes more subtle shading#n i think finally that has worked#and lastly. 3#i think bc i loved him SO much i overthought it. i wanted every detail to be right instead of focusing on the bigger picture.#so it never looked 'right' to me. i was so concerned in maknig it perfect it actually. SUCKED#anyways ya#hopefully this isnt a fluke n ive finally cracked drawing him. finally#also no pauldron bc i want NOTTTT drawing that#LOL#consider this a companion piece to the aqua one#peep the eyes HEHE
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Our blood is scattered like flower petals on the battlefield- saccharine raindrops nourish the ruined earth. As I lay next to you, dying, I know there's nothing I'd wish for more than to meet you once more. Another time... Another chance...
(full piece under the cut. Warning for mild gore)
I kinda fucking hate the nrs reboot timeline, but I'm obsessed with the retcon of Armageddon's ending. Its just- goddamn. I keep thinking about it as the ending to their storyline and it's not good but it is angsty. Which I love so much.
#gopher art#mortal kombat#subscorp#mk subzero#kuai liang#mk scorpion#hanzo hasashi#the caption is from a ficlet i wrote but never published#and im probably not gonna post it whdgejbf#anyway. take this angst and go. its been so fucking hot that this took me literally three fucking days#ive been miserable. and the air quality had been bad. and my asthma has been triggered. focusing is so hard guys#but at least we get some angsty old gay ninjas
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Shitty scribbles of a RenGiyu focused Kamisama Kiss au i made for the sake of my poor health
#rengiyu /focused/ bUUUT kamikiss gives me the ability to put multiple ren ships all in one au so .atehee#they both think theyre smarter than the other person. butting heads however does not spark the fire of a braincell#rengiyu#kyojuro rengoku#giyuu tomioka#demon slayer#kny#gwaaa... sorry i havent been posting mych :-( work has been very hard on me#i may mumble more about it in a text post but eek i feel better putting it in tags..#motivation is hard to come by rn cuz im still adjusting and im all fog headed#but ive got dumb men and dumber ships to lean on so👍 we got this....
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Charlie Cox experience at Philly Fan Expo 2023
So LET”S TALK ABOUT ME MEETING CHARLIE. I’m actually going to make two posts - this one just about my experiences with Charlie, because they were incredibly meaningful and deserve their own post, and then another one about the rest of the con!
I’m going to talk about Charlie first, because of how amazing the experience was, one of the best I’ve had, especially at the autograph table. I’ve done photos, gotten autographs and such before from other celebs - from niche voice actors I loved to people like David Tennant - but this felt Really Really Big. Obviously, I was nervous as all hell because holy shit Charlie Cox, my favorite actor whose work altered the course of my life. I won’t lie - I’d been practicing what to say to him in case I freaked out, but I’m happy to say that everyone who reassured me it would go great, because he was so, so genuine and kind, were right.
The photo op happened first (and thank you to everyone on tumblr guiding me where to go, cause I was LOST about where that was happening), and that went fast. By that point in the con hall, I’d already ditched my Jessica Jones jacket and gloves cause holy shit it’s hot and I am a creature of snow and ice, and my hair was a mess, but honestly I didn’t care, cause there he is. You don’t get long, but he made the most of it and he was SO sweet. Ya’ll, he asked my name, said my name as he shook my hand, and called me ‘my dear’ in that beautiful voice.
I was literally on the moon, but it was time for the big question:
Will he hold the red thread from TRT?
So in a quiet, nervous, soft author voice, I asked, ‘would you be ok with holding this end of the thread?’
HE FUCKING DID.
HE HELD IT.
HE HELD. THE. RED. THREAD.
I’m fairly certain he doesn’t know about the fic at this point - he wasn’t sure where to hold it until I told him, but he loved that it lit up! AND THEN HE PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME AND I GOT TO PUT MY ARM AROUND HIM BACK.
I’m fairly certain I’m dead in the photo. My soul had left my body. I had ascended. I saw Jesus and he looked like Charlie. I had achieved fic author heights never imagined. My brain filled with enough serotonin and dopamine to sink a ship. I didn’t care that I was hot and sweaty or that my hair was messy or that my cosplay didn’t work out like I’d planned. I had been blessed.
also look at that forearm holy shit
I floated outta that gd room ya’ll. I’m pretty sure @wonderlandmind4 did the same. WE FROLICKED OUT OF THAT HALL LIKE
But things got even better at the autograph table, and I had one of the most touching experiences ever.
not me tearing up thinking about it.
That line was long, but I kept getting glimpses of him and I could already tell he was enjoying interacting with people, and he was making sure everyone got their bit of time with him instead of letting anyone rush people through. He was so happy looking, laughing and grinning, high fives and fist bumps for kids, chatting with fans. Which made me feel a little more confident.
I know some people wondered if I’d tell him about TRT, and I’d already decided I wasn’t going to. Instead, I really, really wanted just a second to tell him what his work as Daredevil had meant for me, as someone who became disabled around the same time Matt did as a kid, and who related to... a lot of what Matt went through in the show. I’d practiced it over and over again, and there was only a fifty percent chance I wouldn’t start crying while telling him, and I wasn’t even sure I’d have time to tell him depending on how much time we had.
He made time.
I got up to him with my art print holy shit he’s even more beautiful in person and his eyes are STUNNING. He said hi, and asked my name so he could personalize the autograph if I wanted (DUH, YES PLEASE), and he apologized about the line after we shook hands. I jokingly told him it was fine since I’d driven hours to get here. A little time in line wasn’t a bother. He even loved one of the buttons on my lanyard - the button of Matt wearing a heart crown specifically! And as he was writing, I knew this was my chance to tell him. He was still signing, so I just decided to go for it in case I ran out of time.
“I just wanted to tell you,” I said quietly, “as someone who became disabled as a kid around the same age as Matt did—”
And then he did something I didn’t expect, something I’d rarely seen anyone do, famous or not, and something I’d never had an actor or artist do for me.
He immediately set down the pen, leaned in close over the table, and made direct eye contact, while giving me the most genuine, gentle, encouraging smile I’d ever seen.
In that moment, I knew everything in him was listening, that he cared about what I was about to say and recognized that this was important to me, and that he’d closed the distance to make this conversation just... us. It felt personal in a way I’ve never experienced at a con or signing.
Just like that, I wasn’t afraid to tell him what I’d wanted to.
“And as someone who related to... a lot of what Matt went through, his struggles in the show, and especially the dark parts of season 3,” I said, more confidently now, “I wanted you to know that all the work you put in, the way you played it, the way you played Matt and treated it seriously, seeing that helped me process and heal from a lot of my own trauma and pain over what I’ve gone through with my illnesses. What you did was important and it really helped me. So I wanted you to know that, how much that meant to me, and to say thank you.”
The whole time I spoke to him, he kept direct eye contact, and didn’t look away once. He didn’t get antsy, or look like he wanted me to hurry up (which I’d have understood, cause damn, these are long days for him). He listened, fully engaged and leaning in, his eyes warm and soft and kind but incredibly serious. I’m not sure how often he’s been told something like this—a lot, I expect; his portrayal was just that good, and I know it was important to a lot of fans—but what I was trying to tell him clearly meant something to him. I felt heard, seen, and understood.
Charlie really does care about his fans. It isn’t an act. I’m sure of it now.
“Thank you, truly,” he said, just as quietly but with that honest smile, eye crinkles and all, and seeing it in person, that close up, I swear the room felt ten times brighter. “Thank you for coming to tell me that. It means a lot, the idea that something I did meant so much and that it could help you. I’m so grateful that you were able to come visit and tell me.”
We shook hands after that. He wished me a good day and I told him thank you again, and that was that. The interaction only lasted maybe a minute, but it meant the absolute world to me, as did what he’s done as Daredevil. And now he knows that.
#Philly Fan Expo#Charlie Cox#Daredevil#he HELD THE THREAD ya'll#my fanfic author life is now complete#and honestly as a fan i don't know if any other experience will ever top those moments I got with Charlie#he is so so kind and warm and wonderful#the way he immediately stopped and gave me his full attention when i started to tell him what it meant#i just had to stop for a second and collect myself because just...#he was *listening* and despite all the noise and chaos i suddenly had his full attention#the way he leaned in so the conversation felt like it was just us and the way he cocked his head and focused on me like#i can't think of a single celeb or interaction like that where i've felt that much like what i was saying to him mattered#(that's not dissing the other actors and celebs i've met. they've all been wonderful! but charlie definitely has a special kindness i think)#and i can now say having been that close to him and having spoken with him over something fairly serious#he is literally one of the kindest celebs i've met and the most genuine#you can literally see the warmth in his eyes when he looks at you. he's *legitimately* happy you're there to talk to him or see him#maybe one day he'll find out about TRT. i'm honestly not sure#but even if he doesn't at least I got a chance to tell him how much what he's done has helped me heal#from a lot of really... really hard things in my life#and according to a friend (who I didn't even know was there but spotted me talking to Charlie from another line!)#Charlie did indeed stay until WAY late signing everyone's stuff so that no one missed an autograph#he said his estimation of Charlie just shot way up because even hours later he was still taking his time with each fan that came up#Charlie has absolutely solidified as my favorite actor and one of the nicest people I've had the pleasure of meeting
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just absorbed the farseer trilogy into my soul in the space of a week
#hhhhhhhrrreaauaggh#i did nothing today but finish assassins quest for HOURS#i miss them i’ve just bid on the tawny trilogy on ebay. need them.#it has been a long time since i laser focused so hard on books. feels good feels organic#farseer trilogy#fitzchivalry farseer#robin hobb#rote
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the thing about the dudebro discussion, the aita post, the willingness to just take at face value any accusations directed at a person you don't know, is that it's all so painfully transparent, it's so obvious that those conversations are happening at this scale specifically because it's about trans women. maybe it's just me, but you generally shouldn't be using certain terms for people unless you know that they are comfortable with them, and if you fucked up then apologize and move on (if we pretend for a second that the majority of dudebros weren't feign ignorance or just actively malicious to begin with). you should be aware that some things don't affect you the same way they affect other people, and you definitely shouldn't be giving those people potentially dangerous advice on topics that you personally aren't familiar with, this is the baseline, at least don't fucking put other people who were misled into trusting you in danger. and if an anon barges into your inbox with some wild accusations then you should stop and think "hey, why are you coming to me anonymously with no evidence to back any of this up, and in such a way that i have to reply to you publicly so more people get to see this" regardless of who it's directed at. like, those are all pretty simple things, or they should be at least, but because the targets are trans women and transmisogyny is so fucking rampant everyone has to bend over backwards to come up with excuses as to why treating trans women this way is perfectly normal and justified.
#transmisogyny#i'm not going too much into the aita thing because i've seen trans women express different opinions and i don't feel like it's my place#to talk over any of them. ik how i feel but i'm focusing on the part that i feel more confident about. which is don't give people advice#when you have no idea what you're talking about. like. those people trust you and turn to you for help and the least you could do is to say#“hey i'm sorry but i'm not the right person to ask”#i've been in a situation where a friend assumed i was tma and i didn't realize (i never said i was but we met in a game so like#minimum info outside of pronouns which were they/them at the time + some assumptions based on little things she knew about me like height)#and when she asked me about something that is not my lived experience i cleared things up. so the idea of just rolling with it instead#is so baffling to me. it's so irresponsible and disrespectful. it's hard enough already for transfems to trust people and you pull this?#the dudebro thing too. i hate being called a bitch (has nothing to do with gender) and ik that if i said so people would be like “yea ok”#could throw some completely genderless term in here as an example as well. people are usually fairly reasonable. but nooo not with dude#can't have the right to casually misgender a trans woman taken away from you. gotta make it look like that's not what you're doing either#infuriating and exhausting#benvey tag
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Kinda need to vent here but I really have to talk about how the fandom has completely ruined Mikoto for me. Like, I really like him as a character and I know I shouldn’t base my opinions off the fanbase but it’s just really hard. Mikoto’s the most popular character and I’ve seen him everywhere so much to the point it’s almost sickening to me. Like, normally I’d like it with “oh yay one of my favorite characters is popular” but the fandom interpretation of him is just so different than how he actually is it’s really diminishing my view on him. I want to like Mikoto as much as I should but it’s really hard having to see all of this stuff.
And besides that whole general fandom thing, even what happened at the start of the year which I don’t even need to explain anymore also very much ruined him for me and sometimes looking at him I just think about that and bad memories keep flooding in. Also around a month or two ago I saw a maintagged nsfw post which made me really uncomfortable as I hate seeing that sort of stuff of my favorite characters and I still see the person who posted it everywhere and I can’t stop thinking about how it made me feel. And it’s to the point where it’s one of my most common intrusive thoughts and I really wanna yell at them for that but I think they deleted the post and said multiple times how they were worried of making people uncomfortable but that’s exactly what happened.
yeah the last paragraph was very personal stuff but I just feel so bad that I cannot like Mikoto how I want to and everything about him has been completely spoiled for me and it’s so painful.
I just wanna know if anyone else feels the same way as I don’t think I’ve had a character ruined for me as much as Mikoto and I feel like I’m stuck between hating him and loving him
#milgram#mikoto kayano#I guess one of the main reasons why I like mikoto in the first place is John is my 2nd favourite character#So naturally when analysing him I’d have to think about mikoto which lead to me appreciating him more#But as I said it’s so hard to like him with his overwhelming popularity overshadowing everyone else#And even the popularity just focused around a watered down version of him#And because of that I can’t really count him in my milgram blorbo list (amane john muu kotoko) but he’s still one of my favorites#It’s at the point I feel really bad for even liking mikoto at all for the impact he’s had on the fandom and I feel bad about myself#John hasn’t been as badly ruined for me as mikoto but since his fandom interpretation has completely changed his personality#It’s kinda hard to like him fandom wise as much as I do generally and it feels empty#If he’s not being badly mischaracterised he’s only reduced to a ship tool and never viewed ss an actual complex character#Which has lead even 0909 being spoiled in my mind even though I quite like it despite not being a ship person#Because I love their canon dynamic but it’s never portrayed how it is#I just really don’t wanna feel alone in how badly mikoto (and John to an extent) have been ruined for me#But I just hate hate hate everything about how they’ve been portrayed by fans
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I really hate how hard it is to enjoy these things right now. I want to be able to feel how I used to but it just feels so ridiculous to be focused on all this new album stuff when there is a literal genocide happening in front of our eyes.
#and before y’all get mad it’s not about people not having a right to enjoy things#but she has to be aware of how much influence she has#there’s no way she isn’t#she’s focused so much of the world’s attention on her instead of what really matters right now#I want new music but it just doesn’t need to happen right now#and it’s not easy feeling these things having been a fan since 2006. it’s hard to extricate myself#but I’m just so sad at how temporary the matter of right and wrong/right side of history stuff was
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So earlier today I introduced some of my WIPs to some new people, and I realised that many people might not be familiar with those two WIPs.
Kriya Petri: fantasy (with body horror & dystopian elements). Setting: A country called Fillor on a planet called Thuluke.
In Fillor, to bind yourself to the one you love, you require a trinamate potion to seal the bond. 'Trinamate' is marriage (though that is a rather crude translation of the word). But to get a trinamate potion legally, the couple needs to be… acceptable. A man and a woman who plan to have at least one child. Yes, it's been 1000 years since the global apocalypse, but 'sufficient reproduction' is still a concern among the Filore people (plus it's a moral virtue for the Divine Monarchy, who reside on the cloudlands, with an iron grip on the institutes of Fillor).
A potioneer wants to elope with their lover, but the pair is, let's just say, not acceptable. So what are they to do? The potioneer brews a trinamate potion on their own, finding the closely guarded methods & ingredients for the potion through who-knows-who, bunch of shady people.
The potion explodes.
The potioneer knows the punishment for something like this. They'll be condemned to Kaewoe (so will their lover, if anyone finds out), a realm so deep below the ground that it's close to the core of the planet. Kaewoe, where the mind & body are destroyed by the horribly high concentration of magic. Kaewoe, the names & lives & loves of all who enter it, all slowly turned to unknowledge.
Good thing stealing identities is absurdly easy in Fillor! The potioneer wipes all memory of their crimes & love (or else the Thought magicians would know), flees to the city of Naebo. Their name is now Kriya Petri,
.
Welcome To The Real World: scifi, fantasy, surrealism, horror, tragedy
This one's in very early stages
Inspired by Frankenstein
Setting: The Great South Asian Rip in Reality, where physics (time & space both) is just completely twisted. The year is sometime in the 2070s. Sometimes it's the 2040s outside the Rip. Depends when/where you step out. Moh-maya, reality's very fabric & everything that keeps up the illusions that comprise reality, are very malleable in here.
Main character: Kabir aka Moksh. A closeted Indian trans man who lives a double life, perhaps even a triple life.
One in which he's a cis woman & a regular bright STEM student (STEM studies also include study of moh-maya).
Another in which he's just some guy with good friends (the most authentic of his lives), where he goes by the name Kabir & uses moh-maya to present as his true self. If only temporarily. (it's painful, mentally & physically, whenever he has to revert to the female form).
The third is some mad scientist bullshit, he's going by the name of Moksh among his fellow mad scientists & his main project is a moh-maya Frankenstein's monster that others can share their consciousness with, such that they can experience shape-shifting more easily & go where they physically aren't, do things they physically can't. Let's simply call it the 'entity'.
Due to many reasons, creating this entity is pretty illegal. Hence the new name & collaboration with fellow shady people.
the plot, put shortly: he starts doing vigilante justice w/the entity & then goes far & gets more & more consumed w/work & things go verrrrrrryyyyyy wrong despite starting with (dubious but) good intentions.
in this second one i neglected to mention the fact that you, as the reader, get front row tickets to the main character's spiral into madness & justifying murders thru the entity + the entity is a whole person & has opinions + a whole lot of other stuff, I DID mention that this WIP is in very early stages but holy fuck i could go on & on about it (just not in a way that can be packaged in a structured & sensible introduction)
#i have re-written the introduction to kriya petri so many times because it's hard to know WHAT parts i should talk about first#and this introduction still isn't concise. currently i'm not really in the phase where nailing the introduction is super important but#it's still at least a LITTLE BIT important. but i never seem to get it right. i think this one IS an improvement over my other#introductions to this wip because it gets the MAIN FOCUSES across (and even without talking about the other major characters it at least#touches upon the issues kriya has which will be common with the other characters. so it works).#still not entirely satisfied BUT this is my 'baby' wip cuz i started it when i was 14 and it's grown so much in the past 4 years#and honestly i should probably just read a bunch of scifi (finish octavia butler's series lilith's brood maybe since i finished the last#book recently) because before i wrote this intro. THAT was what made some of the worldbuilding aspects 'click'.#i really need to make the amphibious nature of the thuluken humans play more of a part in their culture as well!#i just realised that so many aspects of this world have been DISCONNECTED! they need to be woven together!#it's midnight and i'm sleepy. why am i sleepy i could be working on this (or on my college assignments [it's okay i've got a lot of time#for them & am making progress on them at a steady rate])
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thinking about how raph, april, and mikey are less focused on by the fandom than donnie and leo, the only two main characters in rottmnt with white voice actors
#to be clear this is not a “callout” nor am i trying to inspire discourse/attack anybody#it’s just something i’ve been thinking about for a while that i feel deserves more... ig recognition? by the fandom at large#like i know a part of it is definitely the shows’ fault and their own unspoken biases#but i can’t turn a blind eye when i see human versions of the turtles that consistently have see and lee be lighter skinned#even if they are all represented as poc#like to reiterate: this is not a call-out#it could absolutely just be the niche of the fandom that i find myself in (in which this is a massive self report)#and i absolutely need to do better as well!!#but i haven’t seen this talked about as much as i feel it should#esp with april— i mean i already am aware about the fandom bias toward male characters#but it makes it doubly hard for her character which is a shame seeing as she is a queen#+ my fav representation of april in the entirety of the tmnt canon so far#i understand with mikey that it could be excused due to the fact that his character was focused on less#but raph? he has sooo much good characterization that i often see given to leo in fic/fanart#like i said: this is a lot more nuanced than what i’ve talked about#and i am by no means perfect#i just think we as a fandom should at the very least recognize this aspect of ourselves#idk i’m definitely not the best person to be talking about this#but i’ve been turning it over in my head for a while so i figured i might as well just. say it#rottmnt#rottmnt meta#racism#tw racism#internal bias#if anybody has something to add feel free#just like. be civil please? like i don’t think anyone is doing it on purpose (obviously)#just something to be aware of
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i have many asks so if im not replying to your ask it means i'm either too lazy, either i can't find the time, sorry for that
i love asks and replying to them! but some will get me to write a 1.5k words wall of text of analysis and it usually takes me a whole hour or something
#nobody's fault but mine#and recently focusing has been extremely hard due to my health getting worse#aka im literally so tired i cant think
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i have been thinking about him lately. maybe a bit too much
#this was originally a fullbody sketch but honestly its been a few days now and im not really feeling it#so i just lazily cel shaded the bust and called it a day#ibara saegusa#my doodles#ive been finding it really hard to find inspiration lately haha. and my enstars brain has been focused on my self insert stuff#but i wanted to post like. SOMETHING
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alador blight fan mood board
#Im trying so hard not to engage I feel like a bomb#I know his arc was handled badly but the shortening of the owl house should be the give away#And I personally think that the boards weren’t only cut for time!!#People are really mad he was redeemed at all but I think we forget that this guy was intended to portray a victim of abuse#Abuse shouldn’t have to be physical for it mean something#No I am not excusing what he did what he did was shitty but what I am saying is I don’t think he knew that#He thought what he was doing was in the kids best interest and when amity confronted him his eyes opened#I’ve seen people call him spineless and “woobified” and that is lost on me entirely#He stood up to Odalia and broke everything when he found out about her goals#He still has his temper he’s just not lashing out on his kids#Claims of him being turned soft don’t make sense to me because he’s been chasing butterflies the whole time! He was under Odalia s thumb#Until he learned it was hurting his kids and he stood up.#His arc isn’t perfect it’s far from it but the guy was in an abusive relationship for most of his life#I Can see the disconnect some are having but I think we’re really focusing too hard on some cut scenes#I Can see people getting upset with him especially those who relate to amity but I think it’s ironically pushing blame#Not everything can be pinned on Odalia but I think we should let abuse victims grow no matter their age#I guess it just makes me sad to see a character I see so much of myself in being dragged like this lol#Alador blight
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Every single day I think about my carol fic and the 20k words I’ve written so far and the minimum 20k words to go and how much I love it and them and then I don’t write a single word <3 love and light
#HATE this btw lol I want to write#i have scripts I need to be working on to#too*#I’ve been focusing on painting but I need to be dividing up my time 😭#having a hard time letting myself float between things#which I usually don’t have a problem with#time blindness has been especially bad lately and I’m working so much :/
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dont think about betty on her own thinking about how she gave up so much in her life and so much she wanted to do and so much of her own independent identity to follow simon and do what he wanted to do. oh god dont think about simon telling betty he wants her by his side and she cancels her trip to stay with him and when he spins her around he leaves her standing just one step beneath him. but in the theoretical reality where he goes with her they stay on the same level the entire time. and who knows what would’ve happened. but it didn’t happen and they’ll never get to know. no changing it. betty doesn’t regret anything. they made their own choices. and don’t think about simon having this realization that changes everything way, way too late, with absolutely nothing left to do about it but just. know. and keep going. and don’t think about that being how it ends. they never see each other again. Yeah it’s too late I’m crying so much
#BANGINF MY FIST ON THE FLIOR#ME WHEN THE COUPLE WHO HAS BEEN NOTHINT BUT TRAGIC FROM THE DSY THEY SPAWNED INTO EXISTENCE CONTINUES TO BE GTRAGIC#Im.#im briefly trying to turn off my analysis brain and not consider what does or doesnt work narratively and etc#bc im sure i could get into so much and so many pathways w that but right now im turning off my brain and focusing on going .#ITS NOT FAIR#EVERYTHING THEY TRIED AND TRIED AND TRIED AND LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND.#AND THEY JUST DUG THEIR OWN METAPHORICAL GRAVES#LOVED EADCH OTHER SO MUCH AND THATS WHAT THEY GET#EVEN IMAGINIFN WHAT IF HE GOT ON THE BUS. HE DOESNT.#SHE LEAVES.#I HAVE TO DIE OR SOMETHING I DONT KNOW#[UGLY TEARS] MY FAVORITE DOOMED YURI WAS DOOMED#i dont know. what they deserved. but i am being hit with bricks#They loved each other so deeply and then they went through so much and then they tried so hard#but they made their choices and their choices mewnt theyd have to go separate ways. its better for them#And im going to DIE AND RHROW UP. IT DIDNT HAPPEN IT NEVER HAPPENED RHEYRE OKAY AND THEYEE TOGETHER AND THEYEE HAPPY LIKE THAT#PLEASE . GGGGGGGG#basilposting#atposting#fionna and cake spoilers
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