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ravenshavenn · 10 months

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Why I think Snape is autistic

(as someone with autism and who also has other family members and friends on the spectrum)

(I don't want to generalise these are purely my observations and I hope I worded everything correctly, this is just my lil hyper-fixation dump meant for fun an not to be taken too seriously)

Firstly, Severus is always seen in his trademark long, dark robes which could be a way to cope with sensitivity to certain textures as he has clearly found something that works for him and he knows he likes, so why should he have to wear anything else?

He also keeps his hair long which could also be another sensory comfort for him as tying it up can keep it very far away from his face which short hair doesn't provide quite as well (from personal experience) or leaving it loose can create a nice feeling on a persons face or neck that some people with autism find comforting

Obviously Snape's favourite things are the dark arts and potions and he shows a deep knowledge of these subjects throughout the books and movies alike therefore these could be seen as special interests considering the amount of time and energy Severus puts into them

He's also shown to have a vast collection of various potion ingredients in jars and knows straight away that something is missing when Harry takes the Gillyweed

Severus also stims in potentially unnoticeable ways such as constantly fiddling with his hands, having his hands behind his back to clasp them together and picking apart leaves as a child

Social gatherings are clearly something that Severus finds difficult as he's not often seen at any besides supposedly mandatory events such as the Yule ball which could be because he finds them overstimulating from the noise, crowds, smells, lights, etc

Another potentially overstimulating thing for Severus could be light as he spends his time in the dungeons which aren't well lit and in other scenes where there is bright lights he immediately shuts them off such as when he takes over Lupin's defence against the dark arts lesson and also again in the prisoner of Azkaban a portrait asks him to put out his luminous spell and he complies as he walks away meaning he's just walking in the dark?! (Which is a total vibe tbh)

He's always been depicted as "strange", "wierd" or "lonely" as from his childhood Lily is his only friend and the vast majority of other characters seem to find him off putting and can't actually specify why they don't like him "the fact that he exists" but he's not shown to make much effort to expand his social circle so it seems as though he's either content with the situation or has given up on it

There is a lac of understanding shown for other peoples emotions throughout the books and movies alike for example the perceived "rudeness" towards students could definitely be a result of depression or something else but it could also be that he doesn't fully understand the impact that he has on them

Severus also experiences the "flat effect" which is when someone displays little to no facial expression, this is a trait that can be seen in autism, this is emphasised in the movies in particular but Severus in the books is also said to not show much emotion unless he's feeling incredibly extreme emotions "Don't call me a coward" for example is one of his infamous more emotional scenes but for the majority of the time his expressions aren't depicted in great detail or he simply isn't displaying any

Along with this he also has a fairly monotone voice, besides when he's extremely upset which again is a trait displayed by those on the autism spectrum

He doesn't seem to understand social rules particularly well for example he's unsure of how to communicate to Lily that she's a witch and accidentally ends up scaring her, not fully grasping that 11 year olds can't do everything he can regarding potions and becoming easily frustrated by them

Severus also clearly has a very strong sense of justice that he's willing to do almost anything to ensure is carried out such as spying for as long as he did which was definitely partly motivated by Lily but also (or I like to think) his intense black and white vision of right and wrong which Voldemort crossed when Severus fully understood everything that the death eaters stood for when they began hunting down Lily

#autistic snape #severus snape #pro snape #snape #snape fandom #pro severus snape #professor severus snape #professor snape #snape community #snape au #snape content #severus snape headcanon #snape headcanon #snape defense #snape love #snapedom #young snape #severus

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snakeautistic · 5 months

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I love finding characters I can relate (/project onto) within media. There’s something so comforting about seeing yourself on screen. I end up headcanoning most of them to be in-line with my identities (lesbian, wasian, autistic) because they are literally me in my head!!

Anyway here’s a long ass list of my favorite characters and why I head canon them as autistic for fun!! If you have any others you’d like to add I’d love to hear them. (And please note this is just my interpretation, and highly based on my experience with autism. I’m not saying they’re definitely autistic or that all the traits I listed are the dsm-5 criteria or something.)

Princess Bubblgeum from adventure time:

This girl is peak evil scientist autistic. Her intense need for control, the way she carefully observes the citizens she created, an outsider to them, not quite like them… god it’s so perfect. I read her as being somewhat low empathy as well, it’s hard for her to change her perspective to that of others. Plus the fact her brother neddy is a pretty obvious metaphor for higher supports needs autism. I think they of represent how autism runs in the family and appears in all sorts of different ways in different people. They’re sort of two different representations of the spectrum.

Marcy wu from amphibia

I mean this one is just obvious. The biggest nerd of all time. So obsessed with her RPG special interest that she literally sucks her and her friends into a fantasy world. She’s clumsy (just like me fr), very smart but super socially awkward, a little oblivious and naive. She’s terrified of change, especially if it means abandoning the few social bonds she’s been able to make. I honestly find it hard to believe this wasn’t intentional.

Entrapta from she-ra

Another pretty overt example. I do have some issues with how she was portrayed in the show- (keeping her on a leash was weird.) but overall I really love her. She understands her tech, not people, and it can cause her to come into conflict with other characters. Their treatment of her makes me sad at times, but it’s realistic. I also love some of her other quirks, her love of tiny food, her exitable demeanor, ect.

Pearl from Steven Universe

Peridot is the more obvious example of an autistic character in SU, and while I agree she’s coded that way, I personally resonate more with Pearl. She is not very socially aware, and bothered by disruptions to her routine/ broader life changes. She doesn’t like to break rules (despite being a literal rebel lol.) I find it interesting how she seems to have the poorest understanding of life on earth out of the gems, despite having lived here for thousands of years. She is graceful, but has an almost sort of awkward gangly-ness to her that I relate to. Her neuroticism is also very similar to how my anxiety disorder presents.

Pearl has a tendency to infodump, without realizing those around her are uninterested. Even her relationship with Rose struck a chord with me. The hopeless devotion to her, the way she followed along at her side. It’s how many of my friendships have been. Obvious it’s not exactly the same considering Pearl having originally been her servant, but while not being an explicitly autistic trait, that sort of clingy, starstruck relationship is something autistic people are prone to developing. She does little hand stims at times too that I love to see.

Poison Ivy (specifically the version in the Harley Quinn animated show)

I’m surprised I haven’t seen more people mention poison Ivy. Fiercely intelligent and deeply introverted, she isolates herself from all people, and only connects with and understands her plants. (Which her deep affinity for can definitely be read as a special interest.) She very overtly has trouble forming relationships with others.

She’s blunt, socially awkward and a loner, has something of a flat effect and a monotone voice. Those around her initially read her as cold and impersonable.Her struggle with social anxiety as well as intense fear of failure/ low self esteem is also very relatable to me. She also often struggles to express/understand her feelings and emotions. Her radical political ideas and the fact that she’s literally an ecoterrorist paints her as having a very strong sense of justice and a somewhat black and white worldview. (Me)

Finally, her relationship with Harley just SCREAMS neurodivergent solidarity. Harley Quinn is (I think canonically) adhd, and they’re both outsiders in the world that found each other and just… get each other. She’s Ivy’s closest and only friend and amazing girlfriend and god it’s all so perfect.

They remind me a lot of the relationship I have with my best friend with adhd except theirs is gayer.

#autistic headcanon #autism headcanon #headcanon #headcanons #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurodivergent headcanon #adventure time #princess bubblegum #amphibia #marcy wu #she ra #entrapta #steven universe #pearl su #poison ivy #harley quinn animated series

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zebulontheplanet · 8 months

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Things I’d like to talk about but don’t have the spoons or words to yet.

The infantilization of those with intellectual disabilities

How intellectually disabled people are treated on the internet from my perspective

The lack of online community with schizospec

Having an underdeveloped frontal lobe and how it affects me

Anger issues and intellectual disabilities

Issues of making friends as someone with fixed interests

Flat effect autism and my experience

Being treated like an animal

These are just some of the things I’d like to talk about. More will be added to this list maybe.

#zebrambles #autism #medium support needs #actually autism #borderline intellectual disorder #list

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eggtwobroes · 10 months

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coping with the fact that benrey loses his autism flat effect in the acab streams by deciding its just his brother the whole time who just sounds the exact same minus the flat effect

#my art #hlvrai #johnwicklover1994 #ive had like at least 3 different jwl1994 designs in the past sorry i think this one is the final version #my magnum opus

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autisticgirliesbracket · 11 months

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What makes Percival "Percy" King from Epithet Erased the autistic girlie ever of all time? Here's what the people have to say:

-Allow me to direct you to this video. Percy-related asks/reblogs: x This post will be updated after each round!

Image ID in alt text and under the readmore.

[Image ID. White slide with a screenshot of Ramsey and Percy from Epithet Erased in the top left corner, Percy is speaking into her police radio. There is a text box next to her which reads,

"from op: ummm it's the everything about her. from the flat affect, to the inability to clock when someone is lying to her, to her strict adherence to the rules. and also just the way she says things - percy will often mispronounce words for comedic effect (a la Donatello from rottmnt) or overemphasise certain words like when she goes "Egads!!" to show that she is shocked. which reminds me that she speaks very formally no matter the context, using an advanced vocabulary even when talking one on one with Molly (a small child who is also very autism). all her interactions with Ramsey feel very ADHD vs Autism coded. she's big on routine and one of her trivia points is that she eats the same meal every day, at the same time every day. and that meal is plain bread because anything else would be too spicy for her. she's awesome and I love her, go watch Epithet Erased and buy the sequel story Prison of Plastic on Soundbooth Theatre to support the creators!!" End ID.]

#autistic girlies bracket #autistic girlie masterpost #Epithet Erased #percival king #percy king

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pokemenlovingmen · 6 months

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I've come on my hands and knees begging for some reader loving on some autistic submas, just a reader that loves these boys with all the quirks and hyper fixations included. A reader who understands the need to shake of that excess energy with some good hand flapping and loves to listen to hour long rants about the boys special interests (especially Ingo, that man WILL go on for hours if you let him, bb pls breath)

- 🐗 anon

PLEASE??? I need more positivity loving autism for autism, the good, the bad and the ugly. Sorry if these are a little short, I feel like a lot of headcanons here can overlap so I tried to find the specifics that I could.

Submas with male reader who loves their autistic traits!

Emmet

⚪ - He's happy you never force him to talk! Emmet goes nonverbal pretty frequently, not to say he doesn't want to talk. He wishes he was as verbose as his brother, because he does have a lot to say, but oh well. You always make him feel heard even if he isn't actually making any noise!

⚪ - If you live with him, things might be a little disorganized. He's more of a tactile stimmer and he'll do it with anything. If it isn't nailed down, he'll probably pick it up and start fiddling with it. Don't leave tools out. Usually he'll put those things down himself, though, shaking his head and saying "I am Emmet. And you need to keep this hammer away from me."

⚪ - You're all ears on the rare occasion he does talk a lot, which in a way only excites him more. He talks more and more the progressively more excited he gets and only gets more excited when he glances your way and sees you actually paying attention to him!

⚪ - If you are also an autistic or just generally stimmy person, you'll stim together! If he sees you stimming he'll start too. You're excited, why shouldn't he be, too?

⚪ - The number one most sympathetic person if you also go nv on him. He affords you every ounce of the kindness and respect you give him.

⚪ - He also just appreciates that you like him. Fact of the matter is, you really have to look a certain way, have certain interests, to be an autistic person afforded any respect and kindness. Emmet, and his brother too, neither of them are what people consider "cute" autistic people. He's a white-haired grown man in an elaborate costume with a cheshire smile and bizarre speech patterns. He expects not to be liked, expects not to be taken seriously, but you treat him as an equal and that matters. A lot.

⚪ - You never infantilize him and he's so grateful. Sometimes you need to slow things down in certain areas for him, or ask him to slow down in other spots, and you're always polite about it. You never speak for him, always ask first, and most importantly to Emmet, you never assume he doesn't understand things. He couldn't be happier with a man like you.

Ingo

⚫- You listen to him? You listen to him!! He talks so much, people often check out. But you listen! He's over the moon when you ask him questions about the subways or his favorite Pokemon he's been talking about, because that not only means you're listening, but that you're interested! Questions are his love language, strange as it is, but those tell him what he's saying to you matters.

⚫- He's more prone to external meltdowns than his brother. And you have his constant gratitude for never being embarrassed about him, you swiftly escort him out of places of high stress and are there as he decompresses.

⚫- Ingo is really thankful you don't have any expectations on him to react or even just emote certain ways. Pretty much all of the autistic flat effect got heaped on him and he's spent a lot of time, and I mean a lot of time, stressing about reacting the right way or feeling self conscious about how he's always frowning and people can't tell what he's thinking. But you know Ingo enough to know when he's happy even if his face doesn't say it.

⚫- I think generally he worries he embarrasses you, maybe with his behavior, or his looks, or the way he talks. That being said he always lights up when you reassure him of the contrary. Especially for someone who interacts with so many people on a day-to-day basis, he gets anxious that he looks unapproachable or even a bit ugly, so it means the world to him when you tell him you love his quirky little catlike frown, or the ways his eyes just shine when he's excited even if not much else changes facially.

⚫- Between him and his brother, I think Ingo concerned himself a lot more with masking. Both of them did it, of course, but Emmet is both more confident and he also has the image of "the happy one", so Ingo feels particularly self conscious about his stims. He doesn't do it often, even if you encourage him to relax a bit and not stress himself out about masking. He's masked for so long and so often he's almost ironed out stims from his life completely. That being said he does still stim occasionally, usually hand flapping, and he's glad you don't make a big deal out of it or draw attention to it. Ingo isn't sure he'll ever feel comfortable stimming like his brother can, but around you, it feels normal. And it's nice to feel normal.

⚫- He prefers it if you let him initiate touch, but also appreciates it when you lean into it and reciprocate. He just prefers to initiate, which he's glad you respect, because his touch-positive and touch-averse days come and go sort of at random.

⚫- Even better connections with him will form if some of your special interests overlap! He can indulge and rant for hours and hours and hours if you are there to enjoy his interests with him.

#submas #submas x reader #ingo x reader #emmet x reader #pokemon imagines #pokemon x reader

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deep-space-lines · 4 months

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Rating Mass Effect 1 Planets (A Tourist's Guide)

Are they boring? Yeah, kind of. Did I get tired of them really fast during my first playthrough? Yeah, kind of. After 860 hours in the game, am I now spending hours just driving around the boring planets in the Mako, absorbing the vibes, exploring the desolate wasteland, and taking nice screenshots? Perhaps.

Allow me to take you on an autism-fueled guided tour of the galaxy and recommend some wonderful travel destinations for the next time you want to take a relaxing vacation in the mountains. (Because it's always fucking mountains.)

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Tuntua: 10/10

I genuinely love Tuntua. This is the planet that I just drove around on for fun during my first playthrough. There's just something about driving over the salt flats and seeing the landscape around you sparkle that fills me with joy. I love the weird inexplicable pyramids. I love how snowy it looks, even if it isn't actually cold. I appreciate a good human-friendly temperature, as I'm sure most tourists will, but I kind of wish it was colder because I want to go ice skating here so, so bad. I can skate pretty fast but I am not good at turning or stopping, which is just what this landscape was made for, baby! I am going to set a new land speed record on these sparkly salt flats in this stupid wonderful brick of a tank.

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Asteroid X57: 8/10

I'm kind of torn on this one because I'm not a huge fan of how grey most of the place is, but on the other hand, yeah, that's a solid asteroid. You get what you pay for. Something about the atmosphere (or rather lack of), the looming planet in the background, the multitude of structures in relatively close proximity, make it feel more claustrophobic yet exposed than the other locations you can visit. The northernmost part of the map offers a truly breathtaking view of Terra Nova. Vacation-wise, I think you have two main options. You can lie in the dust and stare up at the sky and ponder your mortality and how small you are in the grand scheme of the universe for as long as your oxygen supply will allow, or you can explore a variety of abandoned structures if that's more your cup of tea. Why are they abandoned? Not relevant to your vacation! It's not trespassing if the owners are dead! ...I think.

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Rayingri: 7.5/10

While it seems pretty boring upon first inspection, I think it deserves a pretty high score anyway.

Some of the points are for fascinating rock formations. You've got these extremely steep, strangely pillar-like mountains, plateaus, and cliffs; the terrain is a lot more interesting than most other planets. Maybe not everyone's cup of tea for relaxation, especially considering the earthquakes and all, but I'd love to visit Rayingri with a geologist and just hear them talk about it. How old are these mountains? I wonder if they're really young and their formation was spurred by the tectonic disturbances caused by the looming planetoid that's about to crash into it? Look I dunno how this works, my degree is in astrophysics not geology.

But on the topic of the planetoid... The real draw here, I think, is impermanence. This planet will be obliterated by another planet within a few hundred years. A blink of an eye, on a galactic scale. You might not have the most fun here, but it's a cool place to visit just to say you have- especially if you're a krogan or asari and will live long enough to see it destroyed. There's something profound about that, I think, even if the planet itself is rather boring. Rayingri: experience impending doom today!

Also, my sister wants me to add that orange is a good color. So, bonus half point for good color.

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Antibaar: 10/10

I'm gonna be upfront: this place is snowy and cold as balls. If you don't like your vacation spot snowy and cold as balls, you should probably vacation elsewhere. However, I'm a huge fan of snowy wastelands (doing research in Antarctica is at the top of my bucket list), so if you are like me and have a rapturous enjoyment of snow and winter sports, you'll be pleased to learn that Antibaar is just warm enough to enjoy the great outdoors. Bring your sleds, your skis, your skates, we are HAVING A SNOWBALL FIGHT UNDER THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SKY IN THE GAME. Don't let the haters' talk of "low temperatures, high speed surface winds, and low visibility" stop you from having a jolly good time. High speed winds just means your sled will go faster.

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Casban: 3/10

I'm going to be real with you: unless your vacation goal is to isolate yourself like a monk and wreak havoc upon future generations of algae, any experience you can have on Casban, you can experience better on Earth, with the added bonus of vacationing on Earth not being illegal. Don't get me wrong, it's a stunning planet- it's just that I don't particularly enjoy sitting in the lush grass, watching a beautiful sunset, and thinking about how nice it would be if the air was breathable and I could have a picnic here. Not that I've ever done that, of course. That would be illegal.

However, if you're a rogue ecologist with no moral qualms about disturbing a delicate ecosystem, this would probably be a really cool place to hang out and do some illegal rogue ecologist research. I won't stop you, I'm not a cop.

___________

Maji: 4/10

Maji is, I think, mostly just a place to stop for a cool selfie. The sky is beautiful, but I mean, there's really only so long you can stare into the suns before you either get bored or sustain eye damage- and if you do want to look at the binary, you'll probably get a better view from space anyway. Given all this, I'd rate the planet a 3/10; however, I'm tacking on an extra point for excitement. Terminus pirates sometimes dump people here and make them fight to the death to be rescued, so if you enjoy blood sports, this may just be the perfect vacation spot for you.

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Solcrum: 10/10

If you want to feel like you're back in the early days of human space travel, when everything was new and alien and deadly, when we thought we were alone in the galaxy, when other planets were dreary and uninhabitable yet fascinating wastelands- Solcrum might be just the place for you. The roiling behemoth of a star looming over the horizon like some kind of eye and casting eerie blue light over a fragmented barren landscape... Solcrum is another good place to feel small. With the mass relays making travel across the galaxy near-instantaneous, it can be easy to forget that most of the Milk Way is vast, unexplored, empty, and impersonally hostile to life. Solcrum is a humbling reminder of that reality. You're going to want to bring your SPF 3000 sunscreen and a lot of cold water, because this moon sits at a balmy 351 °C. It isn't an easy vacation spot- but then, you're not vacationing to Solcrum because it's easy.

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Agebinium: 9/10

This was actually the last planet I visited, but it felt right to place it here, as the renegade to Solcrum's paragon. Blue giant, red giant. I love a planet with some mood lighting, and the mood here is a little bit evil in a sexy way. I'm into it. I'm putting it a point below Solcrum because Solcrum just has this memorable eerie dark vibe that Agebinium doesn't quite replicate, but in terms of atmosphere, it's up there. It's a bit colder, a bit flatter and easier to drive around, and kind of reminds me of a forlorn desert. An evil desert. In a good way. It's not really a place you go to do things as much as a place you go to be there, you know? Like the woods or something. I don't really go into the woods to do things, I go into the woods to be in the woods. Look, something about the vibe here just makes me want to be evil and sexy while doing it. I don't need to explain myself to you.

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Edolus: 1/10

Honestly, there's just not enough on Edolus to justify the risk of visiting. As you can see above, meteor impacts are disturbingly frequent, and I don't know if just another windy desert is worth the risk of being instantly snuffed from existence by a loose boulder. On the bright side, they might name the crater after you.

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Sharjila: 4/10

To start with the positives: Sharjila is one of a handful of explorable worlds with higher animal life, and the only visitable world we know of that supports silicon-based life! Sick! And I can guess what you're thinking; wow, silicon-based life sounds cool! Would love to see some someday! Unfortunately, the silicon animals are elusive, and I've never been able to glimpse them for myself. Even if you did come across wildlife, you probably won't be able to leave your vehicle for a closer look, as the high atmospheric pressure is deadly to everyone who isn't a volus.

The main drawback to this world, however: it's full of ammonia and sulfur. Assuming you can get your hands on the equipment necessary for a visit, your stuff is going to smell like total ass for weeks.

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Eletania: 9/10

Animal life, lush meadows, beautiful landscapes, a delicate ring system AND a moon, stunning skies- Eletania has it all. Which is unfortunate, because it wants to kill you so bad. It would be an easy 10/10 if the local microscopic critters would just chill the fuck out, but NO, I have to sit in my tank and gaze wistfully at the beautiful scenery and think about how much I want to frolic out there.

Look at that view. Don't you want to take a hike here? Don't you want to climb to the top of one of those mountains and have a romantic starlit picnic under the rings? Don't you want to just roll around in the grass for a bit? Imagine playing fetch with your dog here. It would be nice, right? Well you CAN'T, at least not for very long, because then you and your dog would both be DEAD. You gotta stay in your car and play safari while you watch the pyjaks roam around aimlessly in your place. Undignified. Why do THEY get to be free and I, the clearly superior ape, have to sit in the Mako like I'm in time-out?!-- Anyway, it's a nice planet.

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Mavigon: 7/10

"Let me guess, you like the-" YEAH I LIKE THE FROZEN WASTELAND PLANET!!! AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT MAKE YOUR OWN POST!

Some points taken off for having less general whimsy than Tuntua and Antibaar, and for the fact that the great outdoors cannot be enjoyed by virtue of the planet being negative 8 billion degrees. But like. I wanna look outside the window and see that howling storm while I sit nice and cozy by a fireplace, bundled up in a sweater and a blanket, drinking hot chamomile tea. Either that, or I want to sit in my tank and watch the snow and listen to melancholy music. NOT sad music by the way. It NEEDS to be melancholy. This is a planet that will give you seasonal depression.

My favorite part is just at the edge of the map though (see above screenshot), where the mountains disappear completely and give way to a flat plain that stretches out as far as the eye can see. Makes me wonder if the whole area is covered by an ice sheet and the mountains we see are just the very tips of a massive mountain range buried beneath kilometers of ammonia ice. Cool and spooky. I think if I had to pick a planet to die on, this one would be up there. Very atmospheric.

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Trebin: 0/10

I wish I had something nice to say about Trebin. I really don't. I don't have anything all that terrible to say about it either- which is kind of worse. This is a planet defined by what it lacks. Water. Life. Redeeming qualities. There are more dangerous places you can visit, but at least danger is its own kind of excitement. Trebin is just... eh.

You may be wondering why it is that I praise some planets for being empty and desolate, while condemning others. This is based purely off the vibes that I can objectively sense with my giant brain. I hope this answers your questions.

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Klensal: 8/10

I was going to give this one a 7/10 like Mavigon until I realized the entire map seems to be covered distinctly with glaciers, rather than snow. There's ripples where you can see the ice has been flowing, and valley glaciers flowing between the mountain peaks. I helped out with a little bit of glaciology research in undergrad and this tiny aspect of a planet sparked joy for me ok? The way the ice flows just feels so natural! Maybe it's on Antibaar too and I was too distracted by the beautiful sky to notice? But the other ice worlds I've seen so far are kinda just. White and snowy. But on Klensal the surface is tinted blue and looks almost iridescent. The whole landscape is awash with pastel blues and purples and greens as you drive, it looks more like blue glacial ice rather than a thin layer of snow over rocks. There's just a bunch of teeny tiny details that come together to make a subtly awesome planet.

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Presop: 1/10

So y'know how I mentioned Solcrum feeling like the early days of space travel? This is like that but without the glamor. The fact that you can actually see the stars and that it reminds me of Luna gives it a marginal point over Trebin, but there's just no tourist attractions here. If you're stopping at Presop, it's gonna be less for tourism and more like stopping at a gas station to use the bathroom on a long road trip.

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Amaranthine: 1/10

So... Amaranthine is not a particularly fun place to visit. However, my main gripe with this "tourist destination" is that it is advertised as purple. "Under the dim light of the red dwarf Fortuna, the surface of this world is lit in rich twilight blues and purples even at midday"- is what the brochure said. It was named after this supposed purple-ness. Amaranthine is supposed to be a purplish-red color, right?

Now look at my photo. I know that lighting can sometimes look different in photos vs real life, and you may be tricked into thinking the same thing I did, that surely it must look better in person. It does not. Allow me to personally assure you that this thing is blue and gray. Blue and gray are fine colors, but the important point here is that they are not reddish-purple. Needless to say, I was a little disappointed when I landed down here. Surely we could've saved a pretty name like that for a purpler planet? I'm actually trying to get in contact with the International Astronomical Union, see if I can propose a name change to something more appropriate. Cobalt? Indigo? Sapphire? Iris?

However, I'm going to give it a single point for a rather befuddling atmosphere. For some reason it reminds me of how alien planets in Star Trek TOS just looked like a bunch of fake rocks with an unnaturally colored sky in the background? Good planet to dissociate on.

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Xawin: 3/10

I feel like I'm betraying some personal principle by saying this, but... I'm getting a little tired of snowy wastelands. I forgot how many there are. How many planets. I have 10 more to go. I should've counted them before I started tbh. I'm running out of unique ways to get excited about the cold.

Xawin. It's cold and snowy. Not in an unrestrained winter fun way, but in a way that kills you. You want an average surface temperature of 140 Kelvin? We got it. You want ice storms? We got it. And that's about it. This world just makes me think about how Antarctic researchers supposedly get so bored that they just fuck all the time. If I were a mercenary hanging out on this rock, I'd probably do the same, and I'm asexual.

+10 points for snowiness. -7 points for being boring.

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Ontarom: 10/10

FINALLY A FUCKING PLANET I CAN HAVE A PICNIC ON!!!! We got everything we need. Breathable atmosphere. Livable temperature. Soft grass-equivalent. Docile space cows that you can pet, or that can provide a nice cow steak if you forgot to bring picnic food. Space beetles big enough to ride on, not that I condone or recommend it.

It's not all sunshine and rainbows- in fact it is very stormy almost all the time- but joke's on you, I'm a slut for a good thunderstorm. The terrain is shit. Getting up to the plateaus is quite a hike. It's hot as balls. But I can have a picnic. I wanna take my girlfriend on a date here so bad.

My only concern is that I seem to have lost all my credits?

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Chasca: 8/10

Chasca is basically Ontarom minus the beetles. 30C is a bit hot for my taste, but compared to the other planets we've seen so far, it's extremely comfortable for humans. There's some really cool pyramids for any archaeology enthusiasts!

The terrain is a bit rougher than Ontarom, perhaps a better hiking destination than a picnic one, which is great because I LOVE a good hike. There's these valleys that are basically just perfect paths through the landscape, and if you're lucky you might run into some space cows here. I wonder how aliens feel about the human habit of naming everything 'Space _'? I mean, space cows, space beetles, space hamsters... come on guys, we're better than this...

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Nodacrux: 4/10

This is just Chasca but it kills you. Chasca is right there. It's right next door. Just go to Chasca.

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Altahe: 8/10

YEAAAAA!! Look at this place. It feels like an evil wizard should live here. Or a dragon. Or a space vampire. This feels like the setting of a sci-fi horror movie. Every aspect of this planet LOOMS. Like what ARE those mountains? They look more like hydrothermal vents than mountains.

The fact that it's a double planet is incredibly cool. I did a bit of lazy digging (which is frustrating when most of the 'literature' on the subject seems to be one admittedly cool-sounding sci-fi book from 1982 (Rocheworld by Robert Forward) and a few reddit posts), and it seems like a system of two planets orbiting so close that they share an atmosphere without breaking apart falls under the umbrella of 'sort of kind of barely physically possible maybe?' Like theoretically it checks out, it sounds possible for there to be a window where the tidal forces are enough to rip the atmospheres away before the actual rocky parts fall apart, but how narrow is that window? Sadly I don't know, and I'm not quiiiite confident enough in my physics knowledge to do that kind of math, and it's going to bother me for the next 2 weeks to 12 years of my life.

So if either spooky landscapes or witnessing the laws of physics doing something really weird sounds like your kind of thing, this planet might be up your alley.

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Nepmos: 6/10

Is it safe? No. Is it beautiful? For the most part, not really. If you've ever looked at an active volcano and thought, 'wow, I wish I was there!', Nepmos might be the place for you. (The fact that I have thought that is why it scores as high as it does.)

The sky is absolutely stunning. Cool volcanic rock, you can see the flow of lava and some places where you can see the rock is only a thin layer with magma flowing just beneath the surface. Explore at your own risk; assuming you don't lose a limb to stepping in some rock soup, your friends will think you're either an idiot or a total badass.

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Binthu: 0/10

I'll just save myself the trouble and quote the travel brochure here: "Data about the world is surprisingly brief and generic, painting a picture of an unpleasant and uninteresting place." Sadly for this vomit-colored world, we are after pleasant and/or interesting.

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Nepheron: 9/10

I forgot this one existed, probably because I usually only come across it relatively late into a playthrough, which is a damn shame because it's really cool. The mountains sparkle. Bitch the mountains sparkle! And there's salt flats! It's like Tuntua but with cooler mountains and a complimentary color scheme, which I'm a big fan of. The only thing separating Nepheron and Tuntua by a point is personal preference, honestly- I like the brighter atmosphere of Tuntua- and the fact that it's a bit difficult to drive around, with much less opportunity to enjoy setting land speed records on salt flats. The travel brochures weren't kidding about geological beauty though. If I had a geologist with me to talk about the cool mountain ranges (and they are quite cool- most planets seem to have hills or disconnected mountains, but the landscape here is very much mountain ranges) I would probably have a really fun time here.

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Aaaand that's it ladies and gentlemen. This took me like? 4 days? Ish? I had to do Noveria, Feros, and some of the Cerberus side quests in order to unlock all the planets (except Chohe or Nonuel, the ones you get once you get a certain paragon/renegade score, I'm just too lazy), and speedrunning the main missions to get to the boring side quest planets was certainly a unique experience. Not one I'd recommend. I DIDN'T EVEN TALK TO GARRUS. It was weird. But fun! The apocalypse can wait. We were busy sightseeing, bitch!

#mass effect #this is so fucking stupid literally why did i do this #i had fun though! i think. yes.#posts that make me want to grab me by the collar look me in the eyes and ask “but... why”#officer the autism made me do it #straka's shitposts

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