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causeilikelix · 4 months

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new to the blog but abt those felix throughts 😍😍 felix whos so tired of the members calling him innocent and babying him. yea its nice from time to time but hes a grown man ! so he goes 100% hard dom on you just so your moans can be heard in the dorm 🫣 also he would totally cover you in bite marks and hickeys just so he can get his point across to his group 💕

now THAT's what I'm taking about skhsfdlkfjsdlkfj

Like we all know that Felix is a lil guy with too much love in his body but soft =/= sub. He's a man very comfortable in his identity and the power he holds over you. Felix just wants to make his baby feel good but he also wants to prove a point...

Smut and warnings below the cut. MINORS DNI!!!!!!

↳ Words - 2.7k (and some change)

↳Warnings: SMUT duh, Soft!Dom Felix (I'm still getting used to writing Hard!Dom anyone) and a tough of Hard!Dom Lix at the end, afab!reader, relatively vanilla, fingering (f receiving), P in V, unprotected sex (don't), multiple orgasms, exhibitionism?, hickeys

You loved his innocent vibe! You really did! His angelic smile and his sweet words and actions is what drew you to him in the first place. He was nothing but romantic and sweet all the time. The best communicator, respectful of your boundaries, always treated you like a princess. Honestly everyone needs their own personal Felix!!

But he’s tired. He can’t help it. All of his friends baby him so much! Like Changbin said himself, Felix is happiness personified! But enough is enough. His sweet exterior is giving him a reputation he doesn’t want. When his friends talk about their sex lives, they always make these jokes that Felix must be a little pillow prince who takes what he’s given and lets his partner take the lead. In fact, his friends bet, he’s as innocent as can be and maybe you and him don’t even have sex at all!

He’s still grumbly about it when you get to the dorm one night, just to spend a little time together in between schedules. He greets you with his normal warm hug and a sweet peck but you can sense something is off.

Initially you stay in the living room to continue watching the movie the other guys are watching. It’s some action film you couldn’t give two shits about. Your legs are swung over Felix’s lap and he’s gently massaging your calves and thighs while he stares at the screen. You can hear a few of the other guys snickering but you can’t make out what they’re saying. When you glance at Felix, his eyebrows are furrowed and his jaw is set. Honestly it’s kind of hot and makes heat pool between your legs. Let’s be honest though…. It’s Felix. Almost everything he does can get you wet.

The boys laugh again and you note that it’s during a not particularly funny part of the movie. This is where Felix breaks. He pushes your legs off him and grabs your hand.

“Come on, babe, this isn’t very interesting. Let’s go to my room.” Felix whispered to you, his lips grazing the shell of your ear.

Your body immediately went hot and you had a feeling you knew what was on his mind. He dragged you to his room and tossed the door shut behind him.

His hands were cupping your face and pulling you into a deep kiss before the latch had fully closed. You could simply melt into his kisses. They always were deep and full of every ounce of love in his body. Tonight, however, his lips were urgent and demanding.

“I need you baby, please.” He whispered against your mouth. The need to show his friends that he wasn’t a little boy anymore coursed through him, but he would stop if you gave the word.

“Lix, I need you too.” You managed out between kisses, “But what about the guys? They’re right outside and-”

“Remember what we talked about last month?” Felix kissed down your neck and pushed you back towards the bed.

How could you forget? Most of the time you and Felix had sex it was very mutual. You didn’t do a whole lot of powerplay. Maybe a sprinkling here and there when the situation was right, but Felix loved it when sex was a mutual expression of love. A few weeks ago he asked you about exploring power play a little more and maybe experimenting with some kinks. One of them was being listened to. Not necessarily the real thing, but pretending like someone could walk in on you at any moment.

With the boys right down the hall, that one held more risk than normal.

“You wanna try it?” You asked. The back of your knees caught on the edge of the bed and you sat down. Felix weaved his fingers through your hair and bent down to kiss you. You parted your knees instinctively and Felix settled between them.

With him above you like this, you felt small under him. The thrill it gave you made your heart speed up. You gripped his slim waist to pull him closer.

“I want them to hear you while I fuck you dumb,” Felix’s voice dropped and octave. It sent a shiver down your spine. You always loved it when he got like this. When he got too horny, his voice dropped and it made you wet in an instant.

Felix’s hands made quick work of your clothes. He wasted no time in getting you naked, leaving your top and jeans in a pile on the floor. Even though you hadn’t expected to have sex on this visit, you still wore one of your cuter underwear sets. Baby pink with a little bit of lace at the top of the cups of the bra and the top of the panties, made even more innocent by a tiny rose in the center of both pieces.

Felix swallowed thickly at the sight.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, you know that?” Felix whispered. He maneuvered you onto the bed and hovered over you. You clawed at his shirt, urging him to take it off. He smirked and tugged it off. “Just say the word and I’ll stop, okay? Until then you're going to let me do whatever I want with you, right baby?”

“Yes, baby.” You nodded in understanding.

You groaned at the sight of his chiseled chest. Those gorgeous, defined ab muscles and his perfect little pink nipples made your mouth water. Everything about him was beautiful from his head to his toes. Not to mention his cock. Speaking of, you wanted to see it immediately. You tried to reach for his pants but he grabbed your wrists and shoved you back against the bed.

“No touching without permission, got it baby?” He cooed, “I wouldn’t want to have to punish you. I bet you’re already wet, aren’t you? It doesn’t take much to get my baby worked up.”

Felix slipped his hand into your underwear and seemed unfazed by the amount of slick in your panties. To be honest, you thought that there should have been more. The sudden show of power had your cunt gushing and clenching around nothing and you needed him inside you, um, yesterday.

“Felix, please!” You cried, pushing your hips up into his hand. His digits rubbed small, slow circles on your clit. Just enough to feel good but not enough to actually get anywhere.

“What do you want, baby? Good girls use their words.” Felix chided, his fingers slipping lower to tap against your entrance but not going in.

“I want you to touch me! Please!” You kept your voice quiet so that no one outside the door could hear you, but that wasn’t what Felix wanted.

“You want me to touch you? Alright, baby, I’m feeling nice today.” Felix kept his eyes on your face as he slipped two of his fingers into your tight hole with basically no resistance. He watched as your face screwed up in pleasure and your lips parted in a silent moan. “Come on you can do better than that.”

With that, Felix pumped his fingers into you. Quick thrusts wouldn’t get him where he wanted to go so he opted for long, deep strokes that pressed the pads of his fingers onto that special spot he’d found a few weeks ago. The ball of his hand pressed deliciously against your clit with every thrust. You swallowed a moan and turned your head to press your face into your arm to help silence yourself.

At this, Felix threw three quick thrusts of his fingers into you.

“Uh uh,” he chided, “I want to hear those beautiful noises of yours, baby. Let me know how good I’m making you feel, yeah?”

He pressed a few more deep and precise thrusts into you and this time you complied with a long, drawn out moan. Felix grinned. He continued like this for a few minutes, pressing his fingers in as deep as possible. He resorted to pressing his hand against your clit and his fingers massaging that spot within you.

“Fuck, you’re so tight. You’re drenching my fingers already. I can’t wait until you cream my cock, baby. Keep moaning, just like that.”

He has you clenching and cumming on his fingers in seconds. It’s almost embarrassing how quickly he gets your thighs shaking. You’re moaning so loudly that you’re certain that the others can hear you. Felix smiles through the whole thing. His eyes are dark as he watches you cum just from his fingers.

“Good girl, there it is. Let’s see if you can take my cock, yeah?”

“Please.” You moan loudly.

Felix pulls his fingers out of you and you whine at the loss. He pulls your panties down your legs and tosses them somewhere in the room. Next he strips from the rest of his clothes and his cock slaps against his stomach. Precum pearled at his tip and your mouth watered. You longed to take him in your mouth and suck him until he came but he had other plans.

“Hands and knees. Now.” Felix demands. He pumps his cock a few times to make sure he’s hard enough. How could he not be, though, as he watches you climb onto your hands and knees and present your ass and your glistening hole to him. He leans over you and brushes his cock along your swollen folds. “Good girl. God, you have the most perfect ass…” Felix palmed it appreciatively before pulling his hand back and landing a firm slap on the flesh.

“Fellix!” you gasped when he landed a second slap.

“That’s right, baby, remember who’s name you’re screaming when I make you cum.” Felix’s deep voice rumbles.

He lined up his tip at your entrance and rubbed it through your folds a few times, reveling in the way he could make you shiver every time his cock grazed your over-sensitive clit. When you least expected it, Felix pushed his cock into your tight, warm cunt. You both moaned out in unison when he bottomed out. His long, thick cock filled you up perfectly. It was as if your pussy was designed for him. Felix swore that he could spend the rest of his life between your legs.

“I’m going to fucking ruin you, darling?”

With that, he began thrusting. Sometimes adjusting to someone’s cock in you is a thing of myth. You can never get used to how perfectly he fills you up. It may not be the longest, but it’s thick and it stretches you more than anything or anyone else ever has. His cock has a perfect little curve to it that hits that little spot inside you whenever he angles his hips just right.

Tonight, he’s determined to get all of the sounds out of you that he can. So every single thrust is designed to do just that. He shoves himself into your snug heat as deep as he can go every single time. It’s like you can feel him in your throat. Every thrust pushes his hips flush with your ass. He takes a hand and presses on your back to push your chest onto the bed.

“Fuuuuuck baby, you feel so good.” Felix moaned, “Always so warm and tight for me, baby.”

“You feel so good inside of me,” You moan back, struggling to get your words out between Felix’s rough thrusts, “Don’t stop, don’t stop!”

“Come on, moan for me baby, show them how good I make you feel.”

As if you had a choice. His thrusts were hard and he shifted his hips until his tip speared into that spot over and over again. Felix had found that spot by chance a few weeks ago when he was fingering you and now he made it a point to seek it out every time.

Felix’s hand curled around your bodies and his fingers made contact with your clit immediately. At this, you keened and let out the loudest moan of the night. Your cunt clamped onto Felix’s cock and he bit his lip to keep from cumming right there. Your tight, wet heat eas driving him crazy but you had to cum first.

He could have sworn that the TV volume lowered.

“Come on baby, cum for me.” Felix grunted, his finger swirling around your swollen clit.

Your walls clenched and fluttered around him. Something in your belly pulled taut and you rocked yourself back on Felix’s cock. The extra bit of friction made the coil pull tight. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to let your body relax so that Felix could take over and bring you to orgasm. Your moans grew louder and louder as you got closer.

“Yes, yes, yes!” You cried, “Fuck, Felix! Right there!”

“That’s a good girl, cream my cock, baby.”

The sound of the TV in the front room had stopped all together.

The extra pressure of you pushing back onto his cock was just the right thing. The intense pressure in your stomach suddenly released all at once. Your legs trembled and your body shook. Felix took over and gripped your hips tightly. He slowly guided your hips down towards the bed so you were laying flat, continuing his intense thrusts into your cunt. He leaned over you and pressed his lips to the back of your neck.

“Felix, don’t stop,” you moaned, arching your back into him to keep his dick lodged inside you as deep as possible.

Your orgasm washed over you in waves, each one resulting in a gush of wetness between your legs. His hips kept drilling into you diligently. He kissed along your shoulders and neck, sucking dark marks onto your skin. The second you rolled over, he’d give you hickeys on your neck and breasts to match these.

When he sensed your orgasm coming to an end, he slowed his hips but kept his cock lodged within your tight walls. He hadn’t come yet but he knew he had to give you a short break before he sought his own orgasm.

“Was I loud enough?” You giggled, “What was that about?”

“The guys were making fun of me, saying things like… I couldn’t be a dom because I’m too innocent, that I’m just a pillow prince and I let you do all the work.” Felix peppered soft kisses on your skin.

“That’s not it at all baby! We just like sex to be reciprocal, that’s all.”

“I know, but I guess I needed a little ego boost.” Felix shrugged.

“Well if I get to come like that every time we need an ego boost, by all means,” You giggled, rubbing your ass back into him and making his cock slide against your puffy walls, making you both gasp. “I think you could stand to be a little meaner, though.”

“What? You want me to be mean to you?” Felix stared at you with large eyes.

“Maybe a little more.”

“Oh, so you want me to call you my own little personal slut?” Felix whispered in your ear. That tantalizing voice of his made your cunt clench on him. “Oh so you would like that? I should have known you’d be a little cock-hungry slut. Can’t go a single day without my cock in you, is that it?”

“Mmhm…” You nodded, eyes suddenly a little teary but in the best way. You pushed your hips back against his again. He groaned and pressed a hand to your hip to stop your movements.

“If you keep going like that I’m gonna treat you like a little cocksleeve, got it? I’ll stuff you with enough cum to keep you full for weeks. You want that, baby?”

“God, yes,” your eyes rolled back at the thought of feeling even fuller than you were now.

“Then relax, my pretty slut, we’re just getting started.” Felix growled.

His hand slipped under you to press lightly against your tummy, the pressure pushing your g-spot effortlessly against the tip of his cock. He’d hardly have to aim at all like this. You let out a noise somewhere between a gasp and a moan.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll fill you up ‘til your cute little cunt can’t handle it anymore. M’ cum is all yours.”

#felix smut #lee felix smut #yongbok smut #skz smut #stray kids smut #lee yongbok smut #felix lee smut #ellie writes #PHEW #an ask!#i got carried away with this one #meant to be like 10 paragraphs but its now liek five pages #i don;t have time for the other asks tonight but #i am getting to them #fuck felix is so hot #thank you so much for the ask

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kwanisms · 7 months

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»» stray kids masterlist | join the taglist! ««

This year, I'm finally participating in Kinktober but instead of doing 31 stories for the month of October, I'm going to cut it down to just Stray Kids. Spooky Month is going to be very busy for me and so to avoid missing any days, I think this is a much more time manageable option for me. So not only is it Kinktober but it's also a Creature Feature. Thats right, it's monsterfucking season, bitches. Each story will feature monster!SKZ, 4 kinks, and a dialogue prompt.

See the details for each story below the cut!

Otherworldly 🌏

➮ alien/shapeshifter!Minho × f!Reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: While watching a meteor shower with her best friend, Y/N witnesses a UFO falling from the sky and crashing on her family's farm. The two rush to the wreckage site and find an alien spacecraft with a rather mysterious survivor.

𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬: tentacles + double penetration + anal + praise

𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: ❛ what? Does that feel good? ❜

read now

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Accidents Happen🕯

➮ witch!Felix × f!Reader × incubus!Hyunjin

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: While studying for a witches exam, Felix leaves his materials out where his girlfriend, Y/N, happens upon them. When she reads an incantation, an incubus is accidentally summoned. Deciding to make a spectacle of it, the demon forces Felix to watch as he seduces his girlfriend.

𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬: somnophilia + auralism + cuckold + mind break

𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: ❛ im going to have you screaming by the end of the night ❜ & ❛ do you really think you’re in a position to be giving orders? ❜

read now

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Monsoon Season 🌀

➮ kumiho!Jeongin × f!Reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Jeongin has always been a bit of an outcast in his village being half fox demon (kumiho) until a kind stranger takes him in during a monsoon and gives him more than a place to stay for a few days.

𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬: virgin sex + degradation + begging + corruption kink

𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: ❛ have you never been touched like this before? ❜

read now

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Run, Rabbit, Run 🦇

➮ vampire!Seungmin × f!Reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Seungmin is a vampire and has lived a very long life and seen many ages pass him by. He’s grown weary of immortality until he meets someone one random night who really puts things into perspective for him.

𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬: blood play + dacryphilia + orgasm control + predator/prey play

𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: ❛ why are you shaking? You're not scared of me are you? ❜

read now

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More Than Just Friends 🌖

➮ werewolf!Chris × f!Reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Chris is a werewolf. His best friend is well aware of this. But what she doesn’t know is that during his heat, he often pictures pinning her down and breeding her. When she visits the day before his cycle is due to start, Chris finds it hard to not give into his urges when he smells she’s ovulating.

𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬: breeding + heat cycles + daddy kink + brat taming

𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: ❛ we're not just friends and you fucking know it. ❜

read now

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Rough Waters 🌊

➮ samebito!Jisung × f!Reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Y/N is a marine biologist who is obsessed with finding new sea life. During a night dive, she stumbles across a very well hidden underwater cave entrance and finds herself meeting something that defies all logic and evolution. She forms a bond with the creature and comes back almost every night to visit him.

𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬: cnc + dirty talk + pool/water sex + rough sex

𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: ❛ I’m waiting for your permission to let me have my way with you. ❜

read now

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Unbearable 🐻

➮ werebear!Changbin × f!Reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Changbin is a very reserved person. He tries to live a solitary and quiet life but after moving into a small studio apartment in what he thought was a quiet block of the city, his neighbor soon puts him to the test when she is extremely welcoming and outgoing.

𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬: strength kink + choking + body worship + facesitting

𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: ❛ don't cover your mouth, I want everyone to hear how good I make you feel. ❜

read now »» coming October 31

ⓘ Graphics made by me. Content and support banners made using a template by cafekitsune. I do not allow reposts, translations, or continuations of my works. All writing and graphics are ©️ kwanisms.

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agustdiv1ne · 1 year

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hi the best writer on tumblr! please can i get a hard dom!felix? <333

ahdhshfh hi nonnie ^^ and yes you can!! (nsfw under the cut - sir kink, degradation, spanking, toy usage)

felix, in the eyes of the outside world, is soft.

smiley, gentle, and ever so hilarious, practically everyone that he meets has only pleasant things to say afterwards. such a lovely boy, they would swoon, so sweet to his girlfriend. none of them are wrong, not in the slightest. felix is, by far, the best boyfriend that you've ever had. always attentive and constantly at your beck and call — even when you tell him that he doesn't need to be.

"i wanna take care of you," he always responds. "so let me."

in bed, however, your gentle, sweet little lixie tranforms. he's borderline mean. throwing you around, calling you names, teasing you with rough hands and a condescending tone...yet you cannot deny that you completely, utterly enjoy it. and when you misbehave? well, he has some extremely effective methods of putting you in your place.

smack!

"s-seven!" you cry out, voice whiny and thick with tears. "'m sorry! i'll be good, sir! i promise!"

"should've decided that earlier, baby," he growls. another sharp swat to your ass echoes throughout the room, mixing with the yelp that tears from your throat; and while he can be mean, felix is not a monster. his palm soothes over your heated skin, and when you don't say your safe word after a quiet check-in, he takes that as a sign to keep going. he tuts. "couldn't wait 'til we got home, huh? you just had to act like a whore in front of the boys. now look where that got you."

you cannot seem to find words to respond with, your thoughts muddled and foggy and there's words that you wish to say but you just can't get them out. the action of thinking itself is much too burdensome when the only thing filling your senses is felix, felix, felix.

you bury your head deeper into the sheets below you as you pathetically sniffle, drool staining the soft fabric. another blow, and tears finally begin their descent down your cheeks, coupled with a ruined sob.

"how many was that, slut?" you hear from somewhere far away, vaguely recognizing the voice as your boyfriend's through your foggy headspace. you, evidently, do not answer him as quickly as he would like, when his knee sinks into the mattress next to your head and one hand grips your cheeks hard, jerking your head up so that you meet his fiery gaze.

"i asked you a question," his says, tone low and dangerous — it causes your breath to stutter in your chest for a moment. "don't make me repeat it."

you stutter for a moment before you take a deep breath, eyes glazed over as you gaze up at him. "eight?"

you know by the disappointed purse of his lips that you've royally fucked up.

"flip over," he orders, and you immediately obey — an attempt at softening his impending wrath. he leaves the bed for a moment, body disappearing over the side of the mattress. he rises with your wand vibrator in hand before he's settling back between your legs.

"you wanna cum?" he questions, one eyebrow raised when you nod in rapid succession. "do you think you deserve it?"

"please-"

a quick, stinging swat to your thigh cuts you off. his scowl has returned. "do you deserve it?"

"no," you murmur, eyes trailing away from him in embarrassment. he grabs your chin, his thumb slipping between your lips for you to suckle on, guiding your eyes back to him.

"you don't," he agrees. "so you're not going to tonight."

you are unsure when he placed the silicone of the wand against your clit, not until it buzzes to life against you on its highest setting. it causes you to squeal, your legs attempting to close only to be halted by felix's torso. his thumb removes itself from your mouth, his hand moving to your thigh to reveal your center to him once more.

"keep your fucking legs open, brat," he says over your noisy cries and incoherent begging. your hands grip the sheets and your legs quake as you feel the tendrils of your high starting to curl around your stomach, all hot and heavy and too much, please, too much.

the peak of pleasure is within your reach, and it seems as if he can tell, pulling the vibrator away from your clit to drag across your inner thighs. you sob, lungs burning and chest heaving while your hips buck up to chase the pleasure now floating away from you.

he laughs, fucking laughs, at your misery, turning down the toy to a much lower setting. "you're funny, baby, thinking you'd get away with that. now."

the toy returns to your center, and your breathy whine morphs into a scream when he turns it back up.

"let's see how much you can take until you break."

#skz smut #felix smut #stray kids smut #skz drabbles #skz imagines #skz x reader #felix x reader #felix scenarios #felix imagines #stray kids x reader #stray kids drabbles #felix lee smut #felix lee x reader #kpop x reader #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop smut

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christronomy · 2 years

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thinking about quiet lovemaking with felix. the two of you are barely talking at all, and the only reason you talk is if one of you is uncomfortable or needs any adjustments. but despite that, it's just soft moans and grunts here and there, heavy breaths, some sniffles because you were both crying together earlier.

you both have been having a really hard time lately, life has been very stressful. usually when things get bad, he always offers to cry it out with you, and then takes you out to eat or watch a movie, just to get your mind off of it. but this time, none of the things he usually does to help you seem to pique your interest, and you're more down than usual, to the point where the stress caused you to break down completely, so he resorts to the last option.

making love to you.

this time, he really wants to make sure that the fact that he genuinely cares and wants to help is permanently etched into your brain. he wants to make this all about you.

so here he is, fucking into you, slowly, passionately, every thrust filled with nothing but pure love and adoration, just for you.

every time the two of you make eye contact through bloodshot eyes and tearstained cheeks, it's like a silent proclamation of your unwavering love for each other. more tears fill his eyes - but this time, they're tears of pleasure - as he rolls his hips into you, trying to get past the reminants of the first orgasm.

he needs to go again.

and again, and again, until he's a hundred percent sure that you're okay, and then he opens his mouth to speak once, only to beg you to finish with him one last time.

“please, come for me. come with me.”

and you do. your tears have finally dried up, and all that's left between the two of you is the soft moans of satisfaction, light panting in between soft kisses, and bodies still lazily moving against each other under the covers in attempt to help each other ride out the high. the stress is long gone and forgotten as he kisses your forehead and smiles at you warmly, whispering sweet praises.

“we'll get through this together, i promise.”

#solieverse: planet reverie #lee felix #skz imagines #felix smut #lee felix x reader #skz fluff #stray kids smut #skz x reader #skz fanfic #felix lee smut #felix imagines #skz felix #skz #skz smut #lee felix smut

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multiwreckedmess · 1 year

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February Filth Fest - Day 3

Pairing: Felix x fem!reader Kink: Uniform WC: 2k Summary: Cast in a coming of age rom-com drama with a handsome costar who could blame either of you for taking full advantage of all the perks of being young, hot, and together nearly 24/7 for a month TW/CW: School girl uniform, fluffy sex?, unprotected sex, cumming inside, possessive Felix, light praise(m receiving), light degradation (f receiving), NO obvious power dynamics.

As per usual this is fiction it doesn’t represent Felix or stray kids. As a work of fiction it should not be used as a guide for anyone. These are characters. Please minors I can’t control what you do on the internet just know this is content meant for adults so by clicking on “keep reading” you are saying you are 18+. At the very least please respect my boundary and DO NOT INTERACT.

You hadn’t expected to fall so thoroughly for your costar Felix Lee. Yes he was handsome, yes he had an accent to die for, yes he was talented, and of course yes you had natural chemistry with him. The chemistry got you hired as a virtually unknown talent. So really you shouldn’t have been shocked to find yourself in stupid puppy love with him.

Felix was naturally flirty. It was his charm and charisma that you were feeling from him. Even as he smiled, freckles slowly being concealed by the makeup artist, and suggested you practice the on screen kiss later, “some time after work.” You didn’t really understand what he was suggesting. Blind to his advances, blind to the knowing looks from those around you, blind even to the steady praise the two of you received as a couple. Blind until you were practicing lines in your trailer and the ‘small peck’ the ‘characters’ were supposed to share turned into a dry humping session to rival those you had with your high school ex.

The costumers had approached you afterwards, stone faced and calm. “Please try not to leave your uniform skirt on the floor. The fabric tends to wrinkle and as it is pleated it requires additional maintenance.” You blushed profusely, dropping your head down in half acknowledgement, half apology, but mostly to hide the small grin tugging at the corners of your mouth. You didn’t look up even as you heard the click of your trailer door, not until it reopened with Felix entering only after three polite but firm knocks. “They talk to you too?” He cocked his eyebrow mischievously. “Yeah do you think,” you trail off in horror, “no I know they know what we did. Oh my god.” “Of course they know!” Felix laughs. “I came in my pants. They told me,” he pulls his face from his bright smile into a dower serious frown, “please refrain from those sorts of activities with this particular fabric. It both stains and wrinkles easily. While we appreciate your attempts to treat the fabric we’d appreciate it more if you would simply warn us as further attempts may cause damage,” he imitates their solemn even tone. He looks for your laughter, your gentle easy smile, or even a slight twinkle in your eye. Instead he find you raking your fingers nervously through your hair, gazing into the distance between you. It only takes two motivated strides for him to cradle you in his arms, kissing the tip of your nose gently. “It’s fine, we just won’t wear them next time.” He grins devilishly and wiggles his eyebrows. “Next time? Easy for you to say, you’ve probably done this tens, no, hundreds of times.” Your voice quivers in distress. Hot tears threaten to bubble over your lash line and ruin your makeup. “For your information, I have never dated a costar. I’ve never even slept with a costar. Just you. Only you.”

From that day forward you were more bold with him but still shy in front of the rest of the cast and crew. Something about the vaguely hidden nature of your relationship made each moment feel more electric. Each kiss could possibly invite more questions. Even the kisses you were hired to do felt voyeuristic. Not that either of you would’ve minded much if you got caught. It just prolonged the thrill of the affair.

You had noticed something in all these trysts. Something you wanted to explore.

“What is it about this that gets you off?” You ask as your trailer door slammed shut behind Felix who tilts his head in momentary shock. “About…this?” His eyebrows knit in confusion. “About dating you?” You purse your lips and roll your eyes dramatically. “You really haven’t noticed, have you.” Felix carefully looks you up and down, circling around you, trying to spot whatever you are trying to hint at. “You fuck me harder when i wear this. Dummy.” You gesture at your costume. Your school uniform. Obviously stylized for the show but a school uniform nonetheless. He squeezes one eye shut, thinking over the question, “really? I don’t think so. I mean I’m used to seeing uniforms like that, I’m a Catholic school kid after all.” Your mouth drops, perhaps over-dramatically, small demonic sparks lighting your eyes as the cogs in your brain whir. “You have a school girl kink don’t you.” “I do not.” He rolls his eyes. “Oh c’mon Felix,” you grin, lifting the hem of your skirt just a little higher, just barely exposing a bit more of your thigh. “School girl kinks are so common. Besides, you never wanted to have a quickie in the confessional booth with some cute bubbly thing? You seem to just adore sneaking off set with me. And these uniform skirts are so accessible,” you let yourself trail off in a mock daze, still grinning cheekily at him. “No,” he whines, thick Australian accent chewing through each elongated vowel. “I swear! Calling it a school girl kink is…” he shivers involuntarily. “I’m too old, it feels…” he opens his mouth uselessly, transitioning back and forth from biting his lower lip to stretching out his tongue in over-exaggerated disgust. “I don’t want to talk ‘morals and values’ when I can see the outline of your dick in your pants.” You giggle as you approach him, pressing chest to chest. “Shame costumes will kill me if I wrinkle this, you look so adorable when you’re flustered.” Felix gulps, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. He could feel the break clock ticking as his pants grew tighter at his crotch. Licking his lips thirstily he gives into your teasing easily. “Your ass just looks so good in that skirt, god I just wanna,” he groans, wrapping his arms around your waist, cock pointedly throbbing at your thigh. Reaching under your skirt he grabs a handful of your ass, eyebrows shooting up as his palm touches your bare skin. “No underwear? Since when?” “Since the director announced a fifteen.” You smile coyly. “Which was about…I don’t know how long…and really,” you huff, “if costumes would kill me for a wrinkle I don’t know what they’d do when you got through with me.” You bat your eyelashes, smile fully breaking into a devious grin. “I’d really hate to find out.” Felix is already buried in your neck, making marks that you’d have to tip the makeup artists extra for. “Such a fucking tease,” he groans as his hands grope eagerly at your ass. “Working me up like this then blaming the poor costumes department. Did they tell you to take your panties off too?” “Hm, what do your deductive skills tell you, my smart boy?” “That you want me to fuck you in this skirt over the arm of the couch over there,” he snarls in your ear, biting the lobe and gently tugging, wanting to hear your gasp. “Good boy,” you coo.

Felix doesn’t use his strength often. So it comes as a shock when he nearly picks you up and places you ass up, draped over the arm of the small couch in the corner of your trailer. It sends a rush of heat straight to your gut. Heart pounding he knows the two of you don’t have much time left in your break and coming back too late and together would look unprofessional for the both of you. However the way the pleats of the skirt slope over the cleft of your ass to splay just a little looser outwards has his judgment clouded. Adding to the haze is the cute half-giggle-half-squeaks you make as he knocks your legs apart. Palms at the back of your thighs he takes his time with the reveal, pushing the hem of your skirt up, teasing himself almost as much as he teased you. Wet cunt exposed to the cool air, Felix relishes in the heat of your sex as he pushes two fingers in to prep you. “I’d have gotten in so much more trouble if you were around.”

You moan at the intrusion, back arching naturally with the slow slide of him stretching you. “Felix,” you whine, “please, quick please.”

He shushes you with a quick laugh, “fine, my love, if you’re so eager, who am I to say no?”

Presented to him lewdly over the back of the couch you hear the telltale click of his buckle hitting the floor, suspicions quickly confirmed as the warmth of his member replaces his fingers at your core. Working the head along your slit to gather your essence he is accepted easily as he pushes past your entrance. He huffs, sheathed fully as your walls flutter around him, adjusting to the significantly tighter stretch. Part of him wishes he could see your face as he fills you, the crinkle of your nose, the slaking of your jaw, all painting a portrait of ecstasy that he wanted to memorize. The other part of him loved watching your pussy accommodate him, ass jiggling as you wiggle your hips happily.

“You really never fucked a classmate before?”

“No one like you at my school.” The cute sentiment is punctuated by a slap to your ass, “We’d have gotten in so much trouble.”

The first slow drag of his cock has your eyes rolling back in your head. Felix smiles to himself, your small involuntary sigh is music to his ears.

“We?” Your question ends in a high pitched squeak as he thrusts all the way to the hilt inside of you.

Felix speeds up, bony hips snapping into your pert ass, corner of his lower lip caught in concentration between his teeth. As much as he wants to savor each and every time he fucks you, there is something thrilling about a deadline to make the both of you cum. He grunts, wrapping his arm across your chest and pulling you up into his embrace. Back bowing out from him in a deep arch your hands claw at the armrest for support.

“Yeah, bet you’d roll your skirt up just past regulation length just so all the boys would see your cute cotton panties when you sat. Such a hot little tease. Have to fuck you in the boys room so they’d know to stay the fuck away. Gotta have you screaming my name so everyone would know you’re mine, the fucking perverts.” Felix muses between grunts. Each bump of his hips into yours rubs your pelvis against the smooth leather of the couch putting just enough pressure to stimulate you, your combined bodily fluids providing enough slip for it to not pull at your skin. You shudder in his arms, pressure building everywhere, head back on his shoulder.

“Felix, I’m gonna-” your body tries to jerk forward as your walls clench around him; however he grabs you tighter to him as your thighs shake. Several pointed thrusts into your squishy spot inside sends you over the edge. Once again in a feat of strength he controls your wildly writhing frame as your climax milks him of his. Walls fluttering and covering him in your essence he repays the favor shooting deep within you, pulsing pressed flush to your entrance. Gulping and gasping you feel at ease, melting into his chest. He pants, breath fanning against your neck, droplets of condensation forming from the heat of his exhales. He stays in you, even thrusting back up as he feels himself slip from you to prolong the sensation. Hands squeezing and rocking side to side with you in a state of bliss.

Three sharp wraps at the trailer door shatter the mood. Both of you stand frozen, still tangled together, despite your skirt providing some coverage Felix’s discarded trousers would be a dead giveaway to your activities…if the person hadn’t already heard them. “Five! Back in Five!” “Thank you five!” The two of you respond in chorus. Felix’s hand flies to his mouth, looking bug eyed at each other.

“Shit.”

#felix smut #felix stray kids smut #february filth fest #stray kids smut #skz smut #felix lee smut #lee felix smut

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ch4nb4ng · 1 year

Text

Over the 8 seas: Felix

Pairing: afab!reader x felix, older woman/younger man

Words count: 6.5k

Warnings: oral (fem. receiving), teasing, clit play, tit play, ass play, kissing, mentions of penis, intercourse, orgasms, both people are switches, felix more dom

Summary: Felix, the new rookie lifeguard, was giving you a hard time, so it was up to you to punish him the way you wanted.

Note: Hi! this is the second instalment of my mini series. based of this video (trigger warning: it’s literally porn). The link for the masterlist can be found below, hope you enjoy :) Also tagging Tan @j-0ne25 because they asked to be tagged so here you go !

Over the 8 seas masterlist

Ah, the end of spring, and the beginning of summer. The air was thicker, windier, especially at the beach, yet much hotter. The fluctuation of people bringing their beach bags, umbrellas, and throwing out their towels was coming, and it made you do nothing but smile. It was the best time of the year, but that didn’t mean that it also came with its challenges. The summer interns arrived today, either ready to go and happy to get started, or very reluctant. They either knew what they were doing and came to earn money over summer vacation, or they were forced to try something new because their parents made them. Nevertheless, you were grateful that you had the ability to share your knowledge and wisdom with others.

This very morning you walked into work with a great grin, walking straight to the locker room and changing into your yellows, putting your belongings into your locker and heading to the team room, brewing the morning coffee pot before getting into the admin of things. Although the skills that were being taught were physical, there was a lot of paperwork to get through. The pristine powerpoint presentation, the obligatory contract; it was a lot of work. Pouring a cup, you sat at the table, taking a deep breath as you prepared yourself for the fresh new faces that would now become your responsibility.

“Morning Y/n,” Changbin whispered, making sure not to scare you from behind, “you look excited.”

“Ah yes, morning, I’m very excited.”

“They look like a keen bunch,” Jisung chimed in, following behind the older lifeguard.

“Let’s hope they are as keen as they look.”

Putting your game face on, and spitting out the last of the coffee back into the cup and then over the sink (which earned you a look of disgust from both of them), you were ready (after popping in some gum; coffee breath was never a good first impression). It was the room next door, so it wasn’t like you had to go far. A triumphant smile came to your face as you walked in, all eyes plastered on you, the head of the operation as you opened the door and closed it behind you.

“Good morning everyone,” you practicaly squeaked, causing a few of them to laugh, “my name is y/n, and I am the head lifeguard here at Bondi. We will go through a quick seminar over the basics and then we will get into the physical stuff. Does anyone have any questions before we start?”

“I do.”

The sound came from far, the back part of the crowd. Your eyes trailed quickly, meeting the face behind the rich timbre voice. His look was soft, gentle, like he could never hurt a fly. But the voice, it was deep. Probably one of the deepest voices your ears had been blessed by. He was cute, looked to be younger, but not much more than you.

“Yes, uh, and what if your lifeguard number?”

“4598.”

You opened your binder, the list of all 25 students sprawled across the page. Fingers guiding down the list, it came to a halt, finding the number and reading his name aloud.

“Felix?”

“Yes,” he rumbled, “just wanted to know how old you were before we start?”

For some reason, the question created a heat on your cheeks. Maybe because it was so unexpected. No rookie had ever asked you such a question. Not to mention the smirk on his face; it was leading. Like he had an ulterior motive asking. You scoffed, kind of exaggerated, not wanting to show the others that you felt caught out.

“I'm 25 Felix, how old are you?”

“22.”

“Are you single?”

More heat creeping onto your cheeks, “none of your business.”

“Right,” it was your turn to smirk, feeling the upper edge of your age (and experience) giving you the advantage, “any other questions relevant to our job?”

A class of snickers fell over the group as Felix’s question is what is assumed to be flirting to be shut down quickly. It wasn't out of the ordinary for things like this to happen. Most of the rookies were alway hormonal young adults, looking at anything that moves to smash. However, as you broke away from Felix, your heart became sad. As you turned on the projector and waited for the monitor to warm up, you took a quick glance behind, eyes landing straight on him. It was when he was already gazing at you did you become embarrassed. There were 24 others here, yet you could only focus on one. Someone younger, a rookie? This was not right.

The rest of the presentation was quick and easy. Exchanging eye contacts with other students made life much easier, but you could feel the slight sizzle that came from his glare. But the fact that he was younger eased the intimidation. The last slide came up, and so did your presentation.

“Great, so now the formalities are over, who’s ready to get into our first aid class?”

A loud roar of cheers erupted in the room, making your heart melt. The enthusiasm for a shared passion always got to you. It was nice for others to share the activities you enjoyed. Lifting your wrist, you checked the time, smiling when you noticed the spare time before the next class was scheduled.

“Okay so it’s 9:45, let’s have a break and start at 10:15. If everyone could be in the room downstairs, that would be great, see you then.”

Most of the students nodded, making their way out and most likely to the beach. Time for another coffee break for you. It was all fun and games, looking at the newbies. From one glance you could tell who was new, who was experienced, who was doing this because they’re parents wanted them to find a hobby/job. You minded your business, however, seeing as it was not necessary to pry into their personal lives. It’s not what you were here to do. Most of them you never saw again after the three months of vacation. Heading back to the break room, you took out a cup, pouring yourself from the kettle as you sat back down and opened up your binder once more, going over your notes and making sure you had everything right. It was silent, assuming that most of them did actually head out and absorb the warm sun rays. Shit. The CPR mannequins hadn’t been set up yet. Swiftly making your way down the stairs, you entered the room, opening the cupboards and taking them out one by one. Fuck, they were heavy. It was hard, but not anything you had done before.

“Yeah I bet, she’s so fucking fit tho.”

Your head snapped up, hearing a somewhat familiar voice speak. You knew you shouldn’t have, but you brought yourself to a halt, creeping to the door frame, wanting to hear the juicy gossip. It was bound to start sooner or later. Like you thought prior, it was a group of hormonal adolescents, there were definitely flings and romances that would start.

“You’re insane Felix,” someone else laughed, “she’s too old for you.”

“So? Shes fucking hot, I dont give a fuck about her age.”

Who were they even talking about? They seemed to be friends, joined up together, because it was a super crude conversation for people that had just met. It didn’t stop you from listening however. As soon as you heard his name, you were like a leech, dying to know who and what he was talking about.

“Bro, have you ever been with an older woman before?”

“No but I fucking want to be,” he sighed, almost like one of desperation, “she could be perfect you know. She's smart, hot, and knows how to handle things. She’s the bloody head of Bondi beach.”

Oh my god.

“I want her. I think I’m in love.”

Jesus, he was talking about you. It couldn’t be anyone else. Fuck, he did have an ulterior motive asking about your age, relationship status. The ache between your legs was dull, and you wanted to slap yourself across the face. How could the simplicity and vulgarity of his words affect you so easily? You lifted a hand, removing the beads of sweat exasperating from your forehead. Everything felt hot suddenly, and you thought it would probably be better if you stopped eavesdropping. Part of you felt guilty, but the other part of you was extremely aroused, and you couldn't even deny that it did. A younger person shouldn’t have such a foul mouth about an older person. Yet it was that exact lack of disrespect and vulgarity that turned you on.

Lifting your wrist, you checked your watch, a poor attempt of dragging yourself out of the eavesdropping session and to focus on the task at hand. The clock striked 10:15, and your pupils flowed in, one by one, including him. It was unclear whether that smirk on his face was his resting facial expression, or it was because of what he just said. Does he know you heard him? Oh my god what if he did? It didn’t matter anyway, because that’s not what you were here for. Although, part of you was lying if you were not saying you wished it were.

“Okay,” you yelled, clapping in a successful attempt of getting everyone’s attention, “everyone find a dummy, we are going to need partners.”

Everyone was hesitant at first. Not many people knew each other, which is always why you had a backup plan. Lifting the binder from the floor, you opened it to the numbered lifeguards again. Finger wafting through the numbers, an idea sprung into your mind.

“Right, seeing as none of you really know each other I will assign you based on your number in the order of my spreadsheet. This will be a good opportunity for you to get to know each other, seeing as you will have to work together to save people from drowning.”

The room was silent, an anxious tension rolling over at the intensity of your words. You began to list each number, picking random partners to be together. This was a good idea, until the forgetful moment where there were 25, an odd number of people in the class.

“Please raise your hand if you haven’t been assigned a partner.”

Of course, to your dismay, it was he who shall not be named that raised his hand. Great, you thought to yourself. Of course you would be dumb enough to leave Felix by himself. His expression never changed, that stubborn thing, and he didn’t even let you speak, knowing that you would be his partner. To say he was satisfied was an understatement. He shot a wink at his mates, before conveniently standing next to you. Like he was your little sidekick. That’s what you wanted to do; kick him in the side.

“Okay so, Felix, who is my partner, will help me give a demonstration on how to administer CPR to an unconscious person. We will do two assessments: one with the dummy, and one with your partner.”

“Oh sick so we can do-”

“No Felix,” you scoffed, pretty much over his antics already, “you don’t need to do mouth to mouth in the person assessment.”

A collective of snickers erupted across the room as you got onto your knees, heat creeping onto your own inviting him to do the same.

“Okay so what we are going to do, Felix, could you please kneel down in front of the dummy.”

He did as he was told, already getting his hands into position. Great, he already knew what he was doing. An even greater addition to his arrogance and ego. Boy he was cocky. This had happened before. Of course in your many years of training, your own and helping others, there was always arrogance; most lifeguards are men so what did you expect? But Felix’s was different. Like he was cocky, but not because he was skillful. Maybe it was just his personality. Although part of you was curious (attracted, but you didn’t want to call it that), it was going to be a long three months if this was anything less than a facade.

“You’re going to place your hands in the center of the chest.”

You want to roll your eyes. Fuck he was irritating.

“Here?”

You huffed, his feigning innocence was not a cute look. You scurred over, wrapping your arms around his, fingers delicately attached to the ends of his wrists, fixating his palm in the actual center of the chest. It was easily audible, the soft gasp that left Felix’s lips when he felt your chest press into his back. Only you could hear it though. It was cute, especially since he most likely wasn’t expecting you to be so close so quickly.

Honestly, Felix was seeing this as more of a slowburn. He was one of those kids that didn’t really want to become a lifeguard. He would have much preferred to be traveling, going to any and all music festivals he could with his friends. It was, however, when his mum caught him rolling a joint in the deep corner of his very private bedroom, that got him grounded and doing what his parents made him do over the summer. That didn’t mean Felix wasn’t going to find a way to enjoy himself out of it. Things just happen to line up the moment he laid his determined eyes on you. He was a high achiever, and you were the prize. He was in love already. Felix was always attracted to women with a high work ethic, and you were nothing short of that.

“Correct.”

“I can’t wait to do this to you,” he whispered, now your turn to return the gasp. It could have been innocent. That he was eager to learn the skills required: but the both of you were not that naive. Every part of your being was doing your best to not just slap him then and there. Felix knew what he was doing, which was very much inappropriate and just flat out outrageous.

Deciding to ignore his suggestive comments was much easier than to actually acknowledge. The compressions started, and he followed the beat correctly, the first thing that Felix was actually able to complete without any smartass comment or motion.

“See how he is pressing hard enough, but not too hard?”

The others nodded, their curious gaze bringing you back to zen mode: sharing your knowledge and wisdom of others.

“Does anyone have any questions? No? Okay, one person from each pair starts, the other monitor after two cycles. Don’t forget, 30 compressions, 2 mouth to mouth.”

The practice went underway, most of the students getting it correct on the first try. You were already proud. What you were not proud of was the way you were watching Felix practice not only his compressions, but the way his lips attached to the dummy. To say you were jealous of a dummy just sounded flat out ludicrous, so it was better to stay in denial. There was nothing attractive about giving mouth to mouth, but he somehow made it arousing. Thighs were clenching, and they were not anyone else’s except yours. What you couldn't stay in denial about was the way his arms flexed each time he pressed downward. Felix didn’t have the biggest arms going around, but god were his muscles defined during contractions. One could describe it as sickening. He took a pause, wiping the thick beads of sweat amounting across his forehead. Fuck. The way you could make him sweat; the list was growing with no chance of slowing down any time soon.

“Am I doing okay Miss?”

The way his gaze shifted toward you, still kneeling, forced to look up. Now an innocent fawn in the woods. Fuck he was cute. It was taking every part in you to not just take him and make him do you right there. Trying to read Felix was becoming more confusing as time went on.

“You’re doing great, but if you were giving compressions to a real life person, you can’t just pause.��

“Fuck,” he cursed, somewhat loud and making other people stare, “I’m sorry.”

What was he trying to do? Was he wanting your validation? Was he still being a smartass? He was clearly upset that you criticized him. It didn’t matter regardless, it was time for the practical assessment.

“Okay everyone looking good. Now we are going to practice with our partner. Now instead of doing mouth to mouth, I want you to just lean over slightly, whisper 1, 2, then go back to compressions.”

Kneeling back to his level, you chuckled, already seeing Felix laying on his back. You moved to his side, leaning over as you followed the compression protocol. You called the number of compressions out loud. All he could do was watch it awe, and the grazing feeling of his eyes burning into the side of your face was making you heated yourself. Nonetheless, it was not going to distract you from the job at hand. Reaching 30, you leant over, slightly, but it didn't matter. Felix’s stare was intimidating, and he did not shy away. Your counting became quiet, eyes silencing your voice. Whispering, “1,2,” before forcing yourself to tear away. Another cycle, and your pulse was rising. CPR was hard, but that was not the only contributing factor. As you pulled yourself closer, for the breaths of course, Felix lifted his hand, the one that was facing away from the others, before placing it on your leg. His finger dragged subtlety across the exposed skin on your thigh.

“You’re doing so well baby.”

It caused you to buckle for a split second, a quick skip in your compressions before making it to 30 again. Your lean was closer this time, teeth gritted as you muttered, “Knock it off before I make your life a living hell.”

He cannot be fucking serious. He was probably trying to get kicked out, which wasn’t surprising. After his mum came to you, begging for her son to be let into a program of ‘reform’. To be honest, you thought it was a little dramatic, surely her son was not that bad. But maybe you were wrong. Maybe he was unable to be contained. He was already getting on your nerves, but there was no way to pinpoint it on whether it was because he was being inappropriate, or if it was because you actually liked it.

All he did was smirk as you swapped positions, now what felt like giving Felix all the power. His compressions were fine, it was not what you were really focused on if you decided you were going to be honest with yourself for the day. It was the proximity, or lack there of when he came down for his breaths. His eyes were not mistaken, focused solely on your reaction, the hitch in your breath, each time he got disgustingly close to you. It was supposed to be counted, but the number was far gone, out of the window and thrown into the crashes of the waves.

Felix stopped, leaning back on his knees as you arose, core aching in a subtle manner. Pushing your hair behind your ears, you adjusted yourself, making sure to not look as disheveled as you felt. Thank god the first day was a half day, because you needed to relieve yourself in some way. A swim, shower, touch, anything, because it felt illegal how aroused your body had become at such a simple gesture.

“Okay, thank you everyone! It was very nice to meet you all and I will see you here at 8:30 tomorrow for our first lesson in the water. If anyone has any questions, please stay back and I’ll be more than happy to answer.”

An array of ‘thank yous’ filled the room as you turned your back to pick up your binder. You should have known better. Taking an eye off them, him was a rookie mistake, because it was only left to the two of you left, alone. For god sake, what could he possibly ask for?

“Ms, y/l/n, Y/n, did you need help putting the dummy’s away?”

“Oh,” you dazed, a somewhat confused expression pondering across your face, “that would be great actually, thanks.”

There were no ulterior motives as Felix went silent, not pushing your buttons, no attempt to provoke you as he watched you open the cabinet, and place the dummy’s one by one. It was kind of humorous, really. See he had the intention of helping you, but instead, just stood there, admiring the way you bent your knees, the way you scooped the dummy into your arms, the way your biceps bulged from lifting. It wasn’t that you were even doing anything special, it was solely the fact that it was you. He was in deep shit if this was what he had to do the rest of the summer. There was no way you would go for him? 3 months of torture is what Felix predicted, but not work torture: horny torture.

It took you a while to notice him gawking at you, and the idea made you blush. Avoiding his gaze, you locked the cupboard, not wanting to emphasize this situation by any means. You could feel the atmosphere beginning to change, and the heat in temperature was increasing, which was normal being at Bondi, but this was different. Without knowledge, Felix had stepped forward, closing the gap between the two of you. A sharp gasp escaped your lips, Felix really putting you in a bind.

“You okay Felix?”

“I want you.”

The admission was so blatant. It really wasn’t what you were expecting him to say. His digits were lingering on the outside skin of your arm, hair raising in adrenaline coated fear as he continued to stay close. Closer, and closer, and closer. Fuck, this was getting really hard. He didn’t do much, but it’s not like he needed to. It was time to come clean. The moment your eyes landed on him, it was inevitable. Your face was leaning, hesitant to just go for it without asking for clarification first.

“What?”

“You heard me,” his voice was a deep whisper, tone laced with honey that was having detrimental effects on you, “I fucking want you.”

Fuck. Fuck this. One kiss isn’t going to hurt. Felix however, was one step ahead of you, reaching to attach his lips to yours. A soft groan, one that sounded like relief from his mouth as your lips moved together. Felix’s lips were so soft, but that felt irrelevant when his hands were on your neck, thumbs caressing your jaw as you opened your mouth, allowing his tongue to intertwine with yours. Felix’s kissing technique was so rough, sloppy even, but his touch was so gentle, caressing; his age was showing, and it filled you with nothing but admiration.

A kiss, one kiss. That’s it. It was done. All you had to do was move away.

But fuck, was the impossible. Felix’s hands had moved away from your face, traveling down your sides, right until your pelvis. Wrapped around your delicate hip bones, Felix pulled away, sucking on your bottom lip, keeping it between his teeth as his thumb pressed into the flesh skin just above. Another gasp reached from your mouth.

“Fuck, where did you learn how to do that?”

Felix now bit down on his own bottom lip, a look on his face that reeked of ego and arrogance at how he was able to get what he wanted. His fingers were very soothing, easily able to put you in a trance. A hallucination. The callused skin of his fingers would feel so much better in other places. Anyway, the dull ache that had been persistent throughout the rest of the day was at an all time high. It was getting too hard to ignore, and it’s not like you had gotten any action from a man in a while. This could be fun. A nice little summer rendezvous, what could go wrong?

“I have my ways. What do you say we get out of here and you know, continue this?”

“Fuck you’re confident aren’t you?”

He said nothing, instead, using his fingers to talk, they moved closer, and closer, right until his index and middle finger were right in the center of your shorts.

“Felix I-,”

“Shhhh,” he cooed, beginning to rub gentle circles over your clothed core, “feels good, right?”

“Yes, but I-”

“It’s ok baby,” Felix continued to coo, applying just that little bit more pressure that felt like heaven already, “just give me a chance.”

Impatient for your response, his fingers traveled up to your waistband, dipping underneath, passed your panties and straight in between your folds. A panicked hand grabbed his wrist, planning to stop him immediately. But it was already too much. Your hips were already grinding on him, gently, Felix did most of the work himself. Burying your face into his neck, a small whimper escaped from your lips, Felix able to feel you right where you needed him.

“Fuck, Felix,” you breathed, deep and hard, “we shouldn’t do this.”

“I know baby,” he agreed, withdrawing his hands from your pussy, “maybe we shouldn’t.”

Your jaw dropped, feeling completely duped and betrayed from the sudden lack of touch. He took a step back, walking slowly until he reached the door. Thank god the windows were tinted, because you would be busted and you know it. Turning the lock on the door, the room was shut off to everyone else. That was when he came back over, dropping to his knees, simultaneously and swiftly dropping your shorts and panties with him.

“Oh my god Felix, wait.”

He looked up at you with nothing but concern, identifying the sudden hesitancy in your eyes.

“Everything okay?”

Yes, Felix was a cocky bastard, but he was also caring, something that you were just able to realize. It’s like it suddenly hit you like a brick where you were, what you’re doing. Was it wrong?

“No it’s just, are you sure you really want me?”

Felix slouched, confusion written all over his face as eyebrows furrowed, freckles shining under the artificial light. God he was pretty. His fingers spread across the front of your thighs, soothing rubbing up and down with an encouraging tone.

“Yes, what made you think I’d change my mind?”

“I’m just, it’s just, I’m a few years older than you and-”

“Y/n, in the nicest way possible, I dont give a fuck.”

His face was now perfectly eye level with your pussy, left hand leaving your leg and gently massaging your folds. The contact felt so good, and he wasn’t even touching you yet. His lips were getting closer, puffing out as he bumped into your inner thighs. He wanted to keep going, but he refused to do anything else, not until you gave him permission to touch you, lick you, drown in you. He was dying to do all of that, but not if it meant it made you uncomfortable.

“I know I look younger, but respectfully, I want fuck you so hard that you’ll forget about my age.”

Fuck it.

Your hands were locked in his hair, the long, blonde hair, dragging him even closer, Felix’s tongue subconsciously sticking out as he licked a long, deep stripe in between your folds, and all the way up to your clit. Your hips shuddered, the anticipation definitely unsuccessful at overthrowing the reality of how Felix’s tongue actually felt. His mouth, like his hands, were rough, sucking harshly on your core. God his tongue felt so good, nothing had ever felt like this before.

“Fuck,” you whined, back resting agasint the wall behind. It was all you could say.

“Mhmm,” he hummed, replacing his tongue with his fingers, “how’s that y/n?”

“Really good,” you huff, hips gently grinding on Felix’s fingers, “Felix.”

“I really like when you say my name like that.”

If he was being honest, it could make him cum right on the spot. The more finger fucked your pussy, the more infatuated he became. You were so wet, and Felix was 100% sure he’d never seen a cunt juicer than yours. He just wanted to bury his face in it, have you coated all over his face. It was something he was very much looking forward to, because he was sure he could do it. Make you a shivering mess over and over and over.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he growled, before diving back into your pussy with his tongue. Felix had turned into an animal. It was driving you crazy, the way he became primal. It was unclear that someone younger than you could have so much sexual maturity, yet simultaneously having the technique of a sloppy mess. You were a fixation, something he couldn’t get enough off. His gaze does not move. Solely focused on the way you looked. Each crevice if your lips, eyes, forehead turning up or down. It almost felt criminal to look away. But when you did, it was there, you could see it.

The tent in his pants was big, implying that Felix was probably at his hardest right now. Your legs were tensing up, and you weren’t sure much you could take.

“Mmmm,” Felix mumbled to you, moving his face and sticking his tongue out, “you taste so good Y/n.”

There was nothing you could say, the only sound of moans and groans, which were only yours, filled the room. The all too familiar tightness at the pit of your abdomen was developing. Hips were bucked, running along Felix’s tongue as you took advantage of his helpful decision to let you use him as a ride.

“Shit, I’m gonna-”

“Shh,” he pulled away, index and middle finger plunging back into your now wet and needy hole, thumb substituting his thumb as he whispered to you, “I can feel the way you’re clenching around me, need to cum?”

His pace was unforgiving, but granting Felix the satisfaction of making you orgasm so easily was something you did not want to give. The last, very small rational and logical part of you was stubborn, really not wanting to give this up. It was too late however. Your legs were already shaking, and Felix was ogling at how easily he had made you come undone. If anything, it shocked you as well. You really did not expect it. He slowed his speed, letting you ride out your high before standing up, pecking your lips, but quickly replacing his tongue with his fingers, slowly slipping the pussy covered digits in knuckle by knuckle.

“Fuck that’s hot,” Felix gasped, praising how enthusiastically you took him in your mouth. His mind was already wondering about another scenario, one where another part of his body would be enthusiastically buried in your mouth.

But now was’t the time. Felix was way past the point of that. Once his fingers were ejected, he was patient, painfully, awaiting for the hastiness of your chest heaving up and down with intensity, while gently reattaching his lips to yours. A kiss of affection and gratitude. The last of your high had washed over, but for some reason you were still needy. Wanting more. Felix kept your legs spread, knee on your core as he continued with his delicate lips.

“Felix,” you pulled away, somewhat out of breath, “that was wow, I wasn’t expecting that when I came to work today.”

He chuckled at your ironic statement, that all too familiar smirk coming back to his lips.

“Bet you didn’t expect someone like me to make you shaked hard like that.”

“Yeah,” you giggled, wiping your juice off of the bottom of his lip with your thumb, “there must be some way I can repay the behavior.”

You had never seen someone’s facial expression change in a matter of seconds.

“Oh, uhm, I wasn’t expecting that.”

If you were being honest, neither did you. But it was already too far gone. The man just licked your pussy for god sakes. This was your chance to take control of the situation. Up until now, Felix had all the power, but that was about change. In some way, you wanted to punish him for completely disobeying you the majority of the day. There was a chair next to you. Hmph. Gently nudging Felix away, you sat on the chair, legs spread wide and on display for him. Lifting your fingers, you motioned to him, hithering your fingers as he sat back down on the floor, maintaining eye contact as the lust began to fill your own eyes.

“Let me show you what it’s like to fuck a woman, a real woman.”

Felix gulped at your statement, swearing he could cum just from your words. Your arms were over your head, removing the last of your shirt and unclasping your bra as you climbed on top of Felix. Looking closely at him, teeth marks sinking below his bottom lip as he knew to pull down his own pants, boxers and shorts in one go. It was cute how desperate he had suddenly become, bottoms barely past his thighs as he watched you intently. Naked body hovering over this pathetic little boy; it was empowering.

“Would you like that?”

“Mhm,” he nodded, sound barely audible as you grabbed his cock, a harsh sounding hiss escaping his lips as you pumped him a few times, sinking your hips milliseconds away from his cock, tip brushing your clit in the most subtle way. His hands came to each side of your ass, wanting to somewhat guide you closer and closer. He could burst at the seems the amount of time you made to tease him. He didn’t do it to you; to him it was unfair to him.

“Come on y/n,” he whined, kneading each cheek, “please don’t tease me.”

“Fine,” you scoffed, however doing a 180 so you were not facing him, “there you go, seeing as you like my ass so much.”

The descend onto Felix, the filling up, the feeling of his cock buried deep inside your pussy hole; the entirety of it was humbling. Felix was bigger than you thought he would be, bigger than you were used to and it was easy to tell that his cock was stuffing you to the brim.

“Fuck oh my god,” you chocked, gently rocking back and forth on him, “you’re so big.”

A strangled moan was all Felix could reply with, not expecting you to be so tight. Hands still firmly on your ass, Felix watched with intensity as you gyrated back and forth, struggling to take all of him and out.

It didn’t take long for you to lose yourself in the moment, hands out in front of you to concentrate hard. The veins in Felix's hit all the right spots you could possibly ask for. Losing yourself however ,caused you to lose your concentration, Felix’s grip on your ass getting stronger as he grabbed hold of the reins once again. His aim was to assist you as much as he could, seeing as you continued to struggle to take all of him. There was no pain, no discomfort, just pure bliss and you fucked the shit out of Felix. Or he did to you. The lines were currently blurred but ti really did not matter; it felt way too good to give a fuck about something as trivial as that.

“Cock feels so good Felix,” you whined, a string of curse words muddled in between, “so big.”

“You’re pussy was made for me Y/n,” he grunted, hips dancing to reach yours. The comment made your hips jolt forward. You stopped moving, instead giving Felix all the control to clench those cheeks, hips barely moving as he silently pounded you. His pace was fast, but you could tell there was desperation. He was getting tired, but he wanted nothing more to please you. He was searching for it, that validation from his teacher, you. Maybe because his parents denounced him at any chance they could get, he was getting it from you in the forms of moans, groans, and your legs struggling to keep you up. He suddenly understood everything about your body and the way you wanted it to work, and with much confidence, believed that he could bring you there.

“Please don’t fucking stop,” you cried, “fuck me.”

“You want me to fuck you?”

“Felix please, make me cum,” you gritted, voice hoarse from the constant vocalization of your pleasure, “please.”

“Of course I can,” he whispered, “I’m so close too, just a little longer baby.”

You really could not handle much longer, but somehow you managed, getting Felix to slow down, allowing his thrusts to become languid and deeper, each time brushing against your g-spot with less vulgarity and want. Your eyes were screwed shut, Felix’s jack slack open as his hips commenced their sporadic movement.

“Fuck I’m gonna bust,” was all he needed to say to bring that familiar pit back to your stomach. His left hand spread near the center of your ass cheek, thumb long enough to reach the rim of your asshole. The digit danced slowly, tip slightly poking in, an almost shriek escaping your lips. Fuck, was that your weakness.

“Fuck Felix yes please keep doing that I’m gonna cum.”

He continued his playful assault, whining at the way your pussy clenched around him each time his thumb inched more and more into your ass. No fuck this, you couldn’t hold it anymore.

“I’m cumming,” you exasperated, upper body completely collapsing as he cooed you through your orgasm, slowing his pace down to a minimum. He was dying, wanting more and more of you, but also careful as he did not want to overstimulate you.

“That’s a good girl, Y/n,” he chuckled, “so much pussy juice.”

Hah, what a young person to say. You were still lying down as you turned around, face inline with Felix’s cock as you grasped the base of him firstly, tongue on his tip and you pumped him dry, spurts of cum roping over and over and over until he couldn’t take it anymore, placing a hand on your wrist as a sign to stop.

“So much cum,” you giggled, rubbing any that missed your tongue into your mouth. Hmm, very sweet.

“Jesus,” Felix huffed, completely out of his breath as you helped him lift his hosts and undergarments back up to his hips. Yourself redressing after him. For some reason it was more important for him to be dressed before you were.

“Well,” you smiled awkwardly, tucking your hair behind your ear once more, “that was fun.”

“Fuck yeah it was,” he chuckled, causing the smile to stay on your face.”

“You know you cannot tell anyone about this, uhm, encounter.”

“Oh of course,” imitating his lips to be locked, throwing the zip away, “I don’t even know what you are talking about.”

A look of gratitude was given before the two of you exited the room, parting ways at the departure.

Fuck, you were in for a long summer because you were too dumb to acknowledge that this would definitely happen again.

#stray kids fic #stray kids #stray kids smut #stray kids scenario #stray kids imagine #felix #felix smut #felix fic #felix scenario #felix imagine #lee felix #felix lee smut #felix lee fic #felix lee scenario #felix x reader

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whatudowhennooneseesyou · 1 month

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Idk if other ppl feel the same but I feel like Felix from skz is a lot more dominant than what ppl think he is. Especially when him on stage his quite assertive and his gaze is really sharp. I was wondering how that would impact his relationship and also just wanted to know ur thoughts 💭🤗

Felix is WAYYYY more dominant than the cute princessy boy he's confined to in Stray Kids.

As someone who has seen Felix, he (and Han) as well both have a more dominating presence than you expect so I think with his Aries Moon... he definitely can be more controlling than what you see of him.

I feel Felix is definitely one of the more submissive members of the group but he's still a switch and Virgo Suns struggle with relinquishing control so I think it could impact the relationship by making him unbelievably stubborn.

And yes, he definitely would be the teasing and playful type of dominant- and a talkative one too.

'I bet you could come just with my sweet voice right now, I love seeing how wet and revved up you get for me'.

#kpop smut #stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids hard hours #answered ask #anonymous ask #felix lee #lee felix #felix skz #stray kids felix #lee felix smut #felix lee smut #skz hard hours #virgo sun #aries moon #felix x reader #stray kids x reader #skz x reader

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hansols-yoda-boxers · 1 year

Text

Oct 31st [Felix + Aphrodisiacs]

[9:23] “Buttercup~”

You followed the sound of the pet name into the kitchen where Felix was cutting a tray of brownies. He gave you a quick smile as you entered the room and you drifted over to him, hugging him around the waist and pressing against his back. You watched as he carefully cut them all as evenly as he could before taking two and placing them on a plate.

“Did you add anything special this time?” You hummed to him.

Felix had something of a penchant for potions. Along with his baking he dabbled in alchemy and potion making and every once in a while he mixed the two, seeing if he could add some different effects to his baked goods.

Felix nodded, smiling as you pressed some light kisses to his cheek.

“It should work something like a love potion, it just makes everything feel stronger.” He shifted to glance at you. “It might make us even more mushy and loving than usual.”

You kissed his cheek again. “I think that’s impossible.”

“I guess we’ll just have to see,” He grinned, grabbing a brownie and wiggling around in your arms to face you. You kept him pressed against the counter as he brought the brownie up between your faces. You grinned at him across the treat at him before you both leaned in, taking a bite out of either side.

Still warm from the oven, you let the rich chocolate taste with a hint of something that you couldn’t quite pinpoint melt on your tongue. You closed your eyes, enjoying his delicious baking and humming at the taste. Felix’s free hand found your hip and he gave it a squeeze as you took another bite of the brownie.

“I take it you like it?” You could hear the grin in his voice before you opened your eyes.

“I always like what you make,” you hummed.

Felix squeezed your waist again, smile turning bashful as the tips of his ears tinted red. “Okay, well then do you feel any different?”

You leaned over the brownie to kiss his nose. “Not yet, love.”

Felix frowned at the treat. “Maybe this mix is a dud, then.”

“How about one more bite?” You encouraged.

“You just want more brownie,” he teased.

“Maybe,” you grinned, leaning in and taking another bite. Felix finished off the last of the brownie, kissing you sugary sweetly as he finished his part. When he pulled back he looked at you expectantly, hopefully.

“I’m sorry, love. Nothing yet.”

Felix sighed, expression looking dejected. You cupped his cheeks and kissed his pout until he smiled for you and you rested your nose against his. “Maybe it just takes a while. Let’s go sit down for a while and just see.”

“Sure,” he hummed, unconvinced.

You laced your fingers with his and led him to the couch. As you settled you pulled him close, legs laying across your lap and head resting on your shoulder. You turned on the movie before wrapping your arms around Felix while he cuddled against you, the pout having returned to his lips.

You let a hand travel up to his head, running through his hair soothingly and occasionally leaving a few kisses on his forehead. As the movie played he seemed to pout just a bit less, but he also seemed a bit uncomfortable. He started shifting and squirming in your lap, seemingly trying to find a comfy position.

You shifted your hand to rub his back, hoping it would help him settle and get comfy but you were becoming more aware of your own problem. You were feeling warmer and warmer by the second, so much so you thought you might start sweating. You didn’t want to move Felix off your lap but you were starting to get uncomfortable yourself. Maybe his brownies did have some kind of effects after all.

“You feeling okay, love?” You asked, tapping his back gently. His face was flushed and you wondered if he was feeling warm too. When he looked at you his pupils were blown wide and he had a nervous look on his face. It was cute as always but something about it made you want to absolutely ruin him. The speed at which the idea came to your mind and the accompanying arousal threw you for a loop.

“Y-Yeah?” He mumbled.

You went back to rubbing his back, swallowing down the sudden thoughts. “Okay, good. I think something in your ingredients is making me a little warm, though.”

“Me too,” he said quickly, shifting off your lap. He sat next to you instead, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting against your side. “This will be better.”

“Wanna keep watching the movie?” You asked.

“Yep,” he was answering far too quickly but you had yet to figure out what he was so nervous about all of a sudden. You knew pressing him about it would just lead him to scurry off so you had to be gentle about it if you really wanted to know. You wrapped an arm around him, resting your head on top of his as you watched a little more of the movie.

Your mind refused to settle down now. As you breathed in his warm, comforting scent you found your mind wandering to the way his moans sound just as sweet as his brownies taste. You wanted to hold him, to pull him closer. You settled for slipping your hand under his shirt and drawing small circles against his waist.

Felix started to squirm under your touch and it only made it harder to focus. It only made you think more about how he always grabbed at you or scratched his nails down your back when he was feeling good. Each thought, each memory of a night together that played through your mind was making heat pool in the pit of your stomach.

You gave Felix’s waist another squeeze and he hid his face in your shoulder, letting out what you were sure was a whimper as he shuddered.

“Felix?” You questioned.

“I-I think- u-uh” He swallowed hard. “I-I think maybe the brownies really did something.”

You took a moment to process his behavior and your own feelings. A small “oh” fell off your lips as you reached a conclusion.

“I’m sorry,” he squeaked. “I swear this wasn’t on purpose.”

You chuckled at his nervousness, reaching for his chin and tilting his face up to look at you. “You don’t usually apologize for getting horny, Lix.”

A nervous grin tugged at his lips. “It’s normally on purpose.”

“You sure? Sometimes you get pretty worked up just from watching me do any little thing.”

His cheeks burned red at that and he whined. “Well this was an accident.”

“What are you going to do about your little accident, Lix?”

He bit down on his lip, not meeting your eye for a second before making up his mind. He stretched out his legs from where they had been curled up before swinging one over your lap and straddling. It made sense now why he was all curled up when he pressed his hips against you, fully hard in his sweats. He wanted to keep his problem a secret, though you knew you would have found out sooner or later. He wrapped his arms around your neck, pressing his nose to yours.

“Promise I’ll make you feel good, Buttercup.” He hummed against your lips, already gently grinding down into your lap.

Your hands found his hips, holding them firmly as he moved, whimpers falling from his tongue to yours. Felix pressed against you, arms locked around your neck holding you just as tightly as you held him. His kisses were quickly growing more desperate and needy, moaning as your tongue pressed into his mouth.

Being with Felix was electrifying, it always was. Even his magical abilities aside touching him, him touching you, it always felt phenomenal. But today, it was like every sense was live wire. The brownies were playing a role to be sure, but so was Felix’s desperation. He was always easily needy but something about the effects of his concoction were making him want you in a way that was already nearly overwhelming.

Not that you were complaining.

Felix was tipping his hips even more, resting on his knees on either side of you and leaning into you even more while his hips started to move more roughly. His kisses were getting sloppy as more moans poured from him. But despite his sounds making your own body hotter, making arousal pool in your core, his grinding wasn’t doing much for you. You knew if you let him keep going he’d cum right in his sweats and as cute as that was, you wanted more.

You pressed down hard on Felix’s hips, doing your best to hold him still. His hips stuttered and stopped as he pulled back to look at you and the image of him only made you want him more. His eyes were wide, dark pupils staring back at you with desperation. His lips, puffed out in a pout and even more plush from the desperate kisses. His cheeks were flushed with a cute pink underlying the freckles that dotted his skin.

“W-Why did yo-”

“Weren’t you going to make me feel good, Lix?”

Felix dropped his gaze just a little. Clearly, he had gotten carried away too quickly.

“I-I would have…”

“Are you sure?” You grinned. “You seemed like you would have cum soon if I let you keep going.”

Felix met your eye quickly, shaking his head. “N-No, I wasn’t that clos-ahh” His words fell off into a moan as you pressed the heel of your palm against he bulge in his sweats, noting the wet patch from his clearly leaking cock.

“Not that close?” You questioned.

Felix wouldn’t look at you now, face burning. “Promise I’ll make you feel good,” he mumbled. “E-Even if I cum quick I promise.”

“How about I cash in that promise now?” You grinned. “Why don’t you get on your knees for me, Lix?”

Felix nodded, slipping off your lap and moving onto the floor. He settled his hands in his lap but not touching himself before looking up at you through his lashes sweetly.

“So sweet,” you cooed, running your fingers through his hair. Felix leant into your touch, clearly wanting absolutely anything you would give him, even more so than usual. The sight of him waiting patiently for you to tell him what to do could have driven you wild all on its own without him opening his mouth.

“Please hurry, buttercup,” He said, bottom lip pouting again. “Don’t make me wait to taste you. I can’t wait, I can’t take it.”

Even in his desperation he still knew what you wanted to hear. Maybe it was his own neediness to have any contact, and touch, any taste of you. But either way it nearly made you moan with the rush of arousal that shot through you. You made quick work of your own pants, slipping them off along with your panties before spreading your legs for him, working your fingers into his hair. He let out a moan as he took in the sight of your glistening core. His gaze of pure lust flickered up to meet your eye, only your permission holding him back.

“Make me feel good, Lix,” You grinned. “Just like you promised.”

That was all it took for Felix to dive between your legs. Your head fell back quickly in a moan at the sudden, intense sensation as his tongue started lapping through your folds and over your clit. His hands wrapped around your thighs, squeezing the soft skin and pulling you closer to the edge of the couch.

The arousal and desire that had been pooling in your core was finally set alight by the way he moved his tongue, knowing just how fast, just how hard you liked it. Each movement gave you a jolt of pleasure that washed through your senses. Already your felt tension starting in your body while moans poured from your lips.

You were sure you could feel everything so much more than normally. The way his fingers pressed into your skin, the soft tickle of his hair against your thighs as he pressed his face in closely, the motions of his warm, wet tongue against your body. Each moan he let out was like music that only turned you on more, only helped along by the fact that his moan vibrated through your body. The sound of moans mixing with the lewd sounds of him eating you out.

“So sweet,” his words were so muffled against you you nearly missed them but as they registered you felt even more arousal, so much so that you thought you might burst. Your fingers dug into his hair, tightening your hold.

“Tastes sweet, Lix?” Your voice was far more breathy than you thought it would be but by the way it made Felix squirm you were sure he was only getting more turned on.

“Perfect,” He murmured. “Want you always.”

“You want this taste on your tongue every day, Lix?” You hummed.

“Please,” he whined before sucking your clit between his lips.

“Fuck, that’s so good,” you moaned, hips grinding up against his face. It only seemed to turn him on more. He did nothing to stop you, chasing you with his tongue instead and growing more messy and needy as he did so.

“Need you to cum,” He mumbled. “Need it on my tongue, please.”

“Keep going, Lix,” You moaned. “Just like that, so good.”

You held his hair, not that you were keeping him anywhere when he wouldn’t break away from your sweet cunt for the world, not when he had the need to taste your sweet release on his tongue. He ate you out with more vigor than he ever had, moaning almost as much as you were from the taste and your hand in his hair and how hard he was, how much he needed release too.

Your eyes screwed shut as the tension in your body nearly reached its breaking point. Your head fell back against the couch and your hips rode his tongue as moans fell from your lips. The way he touched you and moved felt so electrifying. Curses fell from your lips as your thighs trembled, pressing in hard around Felix’s head in a way that only spurred him on more as he sucked and licked at your clit as if his life depended on it.

He sucked hard on your clit, nails dragging down the back of your thighs, and you fell over your edge. You cried out his name as your hips bucked up, completely away from his lips through the force of your orgasm. You felt the warm gush between your legs, hearing Felix’s gasp, and then groan as his grip on your thighs tightened while he brought his tongue to help you ride through the last of your high. As you started to shake, coming down in pure bliss you felt Felix’s tongue dipping into you, greedily lapping up every bit of your release that he could.

“So good,” he moaned. “So sweet, love you so much.”

He lapped at your entrance until you pulled his head back, gazing down at him through heavily lidded, hungry eyes. You watched the bob of his Adam's apple as he swallowed hard.

“Such a good boy, Lix,” You purred. “Come here.”

Felix was quick to climb onto your lap. He locked his arms around you in a desperate kiss. Despite the way your taste on his lips was driving you wild you didn’t let the kiss continue for only, firmly pushing him back and watching him pout.

“It’s your turn, Lix,” You said. “Would you like my hand or my mouth?”

The look of distress Felix gave you bordered on hilarious. His eyes shifted quickly between your lips and your arms as your hands rubbed soothingly along his shoulders. It was almost as if you could see the gears turning in his lust addled brain, unable to make a choice of which was better. Unable to wrap his hand around the seemingly heavenly choice.

“I-I think…” He bit down on his lip.

“Too hard of a choice?” You cooed, watching him blush harder.

“Y-Your mouth is always so good.” He confessed. “B-But I want to kiss you, I want you to talk to me t-too.”

You leaned in to kiss along his neck and he whimpered.

“Th-That makes it h-harder.” He whined.

“The choice or you?” You teased.

“Th-The choice? Me? B-Both.” His voice sounded almost as if it would break and you came up to press your forehead to his, hugging him around his waist to steady him. You knew he must be almost overwhelmed at this point. You kissed his nose sweetly to calm him a little.

“Do you want to be able to hold me?” You asked.

Felix nodded.

“Do you want to be able to kiss me?”

He nodded again.

“Then we’ll do it like this. Can you take off those sweats for me?”

Felix obliged, slipping back off your lap for just enough time to drop his pants and boxers before straddling you again. You only had a moment to admire his cock, hard, red, and leaking as it stood against his stomach before he was pressing it into you, whining. You forced him back a little, just enough space to move your hand freely before wrapping your fingers around the base of his cock.

His arms held you tightly as he breathed out a moan against your lips. You took it slow, knowing how sensitive he was and that it wouldn’t take very long with how worked up he was. Your hand moved at a steady pace, not too much. Even so, moans were already pouring from Felix’s lips to yours.

His hips rocked up into your hand and you brought your free hand to his hip, making sure he stayed steady and helping him guide his movements as he tried to fuck into your hand.

“You’re doing so well for me, Lix.” You hummed.

“S-So good,” he moaned. You were sure he wouldn’t be able to manage much more of a sentence than that and his sweet moans only made you want to see him come undone that much more.

“My sweet boy,” You hummed. “You’ve been so good for me.”

You tightened your grip just a little and Felix let out a broken cry. His eyes screwed shut and you pulled back to watch him carefully. He tried to hold you close against, squirming and whimpering and you stayed back just a little, keeping your pace steady.

Even so it seemed he was finally getting fully overwhelmed as he whined for you, trying harder to pull you back to him as tears started staining his cheeks. You stilled your movements, coming back to meet him in desperate and needy kisses, wet with salty tears. You rubbed his back soothingly while he whined.

“D-D-Don’t stop.”

“Is it too much, Felix?” You knew he could heard the concern in your voice and it made him duck his face, hiding it in your neck.

“N-Not too much. W-Want you. Wanna c-cum.”

“Lix, look at me.” You coaxed his face out of hiding, meeting his gaze. “Are you okay?”

“S-So good.” He mumbled. “S-So much. N-Need to cum.”

“Are you sure?”

“P-Please, please.” He whimpered, leaning in to press more kisses as a way to beg. You returned them before giving yourself just enough space to talk to him.

“Okay, just a little more until you cum.” You started pumping his cock again, back to the same pressure and speed. “Thank yous” fell from his lips and tears kept falling down his face, not wanting to stop despite how much he was clearly feeling.

“Such a good boy for me,” you murmured sweet praise to him. “Made me feel so good. My perfect Lix.”

His moans grew louder as he started to buck into your hand. You moved just a little faster as you told him just how sweet and perfect he was until he cried out your name, hot cum spilling in thick ropes over your fingers and dripping down to your thighs. Felix rode your hand through his high with a series of the most beautiful sounds he had ever uttered until he was spent, falling against you and crying softly.

You released his cock, cleaning off your hand with a nearby tissue before hugging him tightly and rubbing his back. You pressed kisses to the top of his head and just held him as he slowly calmed down.

When he was only sniffling you gently lifted his face to look at you. Before you could say anything he spoke, voice rough and clearly tired.

“Can we have more of those brownies tomorrow?”

#DONE #WOOHOO #i may or may not have cheated to get something i really wanted for the last day #but also its long and good so you're welcome #kinktober 2022 #timestamp #stray kids imagines #stray kids smut #skz imagines #skz smut #felix imagines #felix smut #felix lee smut #lee yongbok smut

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under-and-over-the-moon · 2 years

Text

Lexicon | Felix

Minors DNI/DNF/Do not read!!

pairing: Felix x Reader

word count: 13.5k

genre: childhood best friends to lovers, gilded age!au, forbidden love, angst, fluff, smut

warnings: unprotected sex, oral (f recv), handjob (m recv), riding, dirty talk, implication that the pullout method works (it does not!), hurt/comfort, both are virgins, so sex is a lil clunky, afab reader, mention of periods, historical inaccuracies/general historical bootleggery, i basically watched one ep of ‘the gilded age’ and ran with the vibes, historical misogyny, alcohol mentioned, Felix gets slightly buzzed at one point, cheating (in an arranged marriage scenario), lots of poor choices, lots of angst

A/N: the real title of this is Lixicon but I stopped myself 😅 This is my entry into the global childhood bf2l felix headcanon, and WOOF was this a struggle to write

All characters are adults at all times in this fic.

Feedback is always appreciated!! 😊

~~~

[ I ]

“Tell me a story.”

“Which one?”

“One about you,” you reply.

The phone crackles, sputtering against your ears, brass in your palm. A new toy, for a new age. Of course you had to try it first with Felix, just as you do with everything else.

“You already know all my stories,” he replies.

“Not today’s,” you counter.

He chuckles low, the vibrations mixing with the static.

“No, not today’s,” he admits.

And so he offers you a story that he will forget and would never expect you to remember: He waited in line for cloth for his mother, talked to Mrs. Cho. She mentioned she has a daughter, now twenty. Probably a subtle hint at a marriage prospect. He spoke to the builders about where he could buy new roof tile after a few slipped off in the last storm. It’s a banal tale, by any standard.

But as always, you listen, and then, as always, he asks you to return the favor.

You had spent the morning organizing your father’s library, and so you describe: the leather book covers, tacky from the humidity, their scent somewhere between sickeningly musty and comfortingly familiar. The heavy velvet curtains, always slumping to the side no matter how many times you tried to adjust them. Another issue with your home’s foundation, probably.

How you had spent the morning arranging and rearranging the books, by size, then by color, then by size again. You thought it would look like a rainbow by color, but there were too many browns. It just looked as musty as it smelled.

You then jump to other parts of your home, pointing out what still needs attention. The fireplace covered in soot. The paint, peeling. The steps, crumbling. Did you already mentions the paint? Oh yes, you did.

The words tumble freely from you, unlinked, in sentences that sometimes are clipped, left unfinished as you veer to a different path. You have no goal, no finish line – you simply explore the space in your mind, holding his hand as you wander, down every trail, through the rivers of thought, the ocean of your mind. He lets the current carry him, closing his eyes and sinking into the gentle wash of your voice as you ramble. He feels little again, as young as when you first met, but it doesn’t feel infantilizing – it just feels good, safe, to be swaddled warm in your words.

“Oh, did you hear about that thing?” you ask, startling him from his daze.

“What thing?” he asks. You have already told him about every thing – he needs clarification.

“The industrialists that are arriving tomorrow, to construct the railroad outside town. They’re moving into the estate out the end of the road, the one that overlooks the sea.”

“Oh the ugly one?” Felix asks. “You would think with all that money…”

This time your chuckle is the one that mixes with the static.

“Right?”

And then things devolve – or evolve, he never knows which – and you are talking about the homes in the city, if there is a correlation between construction time and ultimate ugliness, which houses need repairs the most (both of yours, you agree), the new mayor’s plan for road repairs, the mayor’s new mustache, the mayor’s hat, the optimal height for a hat.

“Oh!” you exclaim, “I gotta go help with dinner! It’s so late, didn’t realize.”

He didn’t either – the sky is dark, his room now painted in shadows and moonlight and the flickers of a lantern from the hall. He holds his hand out to see its silhouette against the wooden floor.

“Night, Lix,” you say, “See you tomorrow?”

“Yes, as always.”

And then there’s a click as the connection is cut, and he is cooled by the silence.

~~~

Waiting at the end of the road the next day, you identify Felix by the feeling of a hand, brushing gently from your waist to your hip.

When you were children he used to run up behind you, his chest bouncing against your back, his arms stopping your momentum, holding you to him. He would squeeze you tight, burrow into your shoulder, say your name. Excited. You could see the exclamation point in your head.

But now you were older, and propriety stood between you, pushing his chest back, prying his elbows away. So you settled for this – it still leads to a raised eyebrow here and there, but the movement is so fast that it could just be an accident. And you needed something, or perhaps, it was the you knew that he did. When he was little and had the gift of assumed innocence, he had always wanted to touch, to hold, to nestle into what was comforting and familiar.

“Am I late?” he whispers, dropping his hand to step out from behind you, stopping at your side. He quickly throws glances along the squat gray buildings that line the street before following the trail of the cable car tracks up the hill to the horizon.

“No,” you said, gesturing to the empty road, baked dry by the sun but with the dust still settled, “No sign of anyone yet.”

But eventually it appears – a tiny prick of black that transforms into a carriage as it approaches, the dust a fluttering veil behind it. The horses come to a halt, the doors are pushed open, and four figures exit.

At first all you see are plumed hats, voluminous skirts, glossy fabrics – new fashions peeled straight from freshly-printed magazines, dyed in their still-drying ink. Styles that had never before bothered to make the trip to your sleepy town dusted gray with half-dead history. These people are the future, will be your future.

After a few moment your eyes adjust to the sartorial dazzle, and you begin to inspect: first, the older couple, distinguished, hair streaked gray, each pleat of their clothes perfectly pressed despite the long journey. And then there is a younger man – short, with a playful grin. He’s dapper, his clothes all sharp lines, but you can see the way his biceps strain at the shoulders. Boyish and manly all at once.

And then a woman, beautiful. Her hair is arranged artfully on top of her heard, hands delicately sheathed in white silk. She adjust her skirts and then turns to survey the crowd, her eyes sweeping across the crescent in front of her. And then she stops, a smile pulling at her lips.

You follow her gaze. She is looking at Felix. And he is smiling back.

~~~

The newcomers give hasty greetings before excusing themselves politely, saying they wish they could stay longer, but there is simply too much to unpack. They gesture to the carriages that pile up behind them, laden with trunks and suitcases.

As soon as they leave, riding uphill to their new home, the townspeople quickly descend on Mrs. Cho’s parlor, buzzing like a swarm of bees. The rest of the afternoon passes in a swirl of whispers and gossip that settles on your skin, making it itch, your initial wonder tightening into fact as you listen and try to figure out how these people will fit into your tiny town, your little world.

You come to know that the Parks – Jinyoung and Junghwa, and their children, Changbin and Dahyun – have been looking for the perfect place to expand their rail line and had settled on your town. It is underdeveloped, but well-located between the two major cities. The family will stay here during the construction, which should take a few years, but once the summer concludes Changbin will return to the city to handle business there.

But of course, the technological advancements that will reshape your town are ultimately of little interest when both children, it is whispered, are unmarried. Mothers brush dirt from theirs daughters’ skirts, correct the posture of their sons. You wonder if the newcomers can already smell the scent of plotting — too sweet, cloying, like berries left in the sun, at the edge of rotting.

And below the murmur of information is Felix’s voice, sputtering fast, the low rumble of his tone shaking your core.

“She’s so beautiful isn’t she?”

“She was smiling at me, right?”

“Did I imagine that?”

“Do you think she would marry someone from here?”

“Would she marry someone without money?”

“She must have enough of her own, right?”

His questions make your head pound, but you don’t blame him for asking you so many. These are just thoughts, equal to any of his others. So why wouldn’t he share these too?

“Do you think I would make a good husband for her?”

He looks to you expectantly, but you find yourself with no ready response to give, your mind just filled a nameless fog that pushes at your temples. So you pull the words from conversations you’ve heard, books you’ve read, pasting together a response that isn’t your own. The likeness of an enthusiasm that you can’t quite kindle in your own core.

“Yes, she would be lucky to have you as a husband, Lix.”

But, distracted, he doesn’t notice that anything is off. His head is turned towards the house on the hill, behind which the sun is just beginning to set over the sea.

~~~

Once the sun dips below the horizon, the townspeople begin to take their leave, thanking Mrs. Cho as they down their last cup of teas, adjusting their shawls around their shoulders as they step through the doors.

Felix accompanies you home as usual – he evolved from companion to chaperone naturally when you came of age, the role a change only in name. Your parents had never been concerned that Felix himself is a virile, unmarried man, exactly like those he is to protect you from – they see you still as the children you once were, not the scandal you could be. A temporary exception, a convenient blindness caused by nostalgia and familiarity, to be wiped away as soon as you are given to another man.

But, for now, your mother is glad to hand him this responsibility – without the servants that should inhabit the role, it would fall to her. Felix’s presence allows her to play at inhabiting a glorious past she didn’t quite inherit, lunching with other noble ladies and visiting the shops instead of guarding her daughter.

Felix is still rambling about Dahyun as you walk beneath the newly-installed string of streetlights, a gift from Dahyun’s family, as you had just learned at the parlor. Your eyes hurt under the glare, and you are relieved when you pass the city limits, the twinkly of electricity fading only to moonlight.

The path to both of your estates is unkempt, the dried grasses poking through stones, the whitewashed walls peeling where they aren’t yet crumbling. The tiles that once formed neat fish scales along the path lay on the ground, shattered.

You sigh when you imagine how things would have been if you had been born a century ago, when the gods were of blood, not steel. The palanquins, flocked by servants, that would have carried you down the pristinely manicured streets. The walls, freshly painted. The stones between your feet uncracked, fitting perfectly with one another.

You glance over to Felix, still lost in his own world. He would have been your husband, you know. Noble name for noble name, your fortunes joined under one roof.

But with no fortune left, there is nothing to share but your afternoons, your youthful daydreams, whatever words are fluttering through your minds.

But even these, you know, are finite. Your own body is the hourglass, each moment a grain of sand that had fallen down, filling out your hips, your bust. Now a woman, you are overdue, past time, only a few grains left to fall before everything is set. Before you move on, away, to a new cloistered life, that of course, could never include him – wives don’t speak freely with men who aren’t their husbands.

At first you had resented how your body had rushed you forward, the first sign of red marking the end of your carefree days. How time didn’t seem to claw at Felix in the same way – while you were learning about your wifely duties, the horrors of childbirth, the tight confines of a future where all of your choices are given away, he was still allowed to be young and untethered, not thinking past tomorrow. You resented him but then – he would smile at you in that way he always did, all genuine sunshine, bubbling with whatever his current obsession was, and you couldn’t be angry.

So you had decided these would be the only thoughts you would hold back, the only worries you wouldn’t share. You knew at some level he must know you stood at the edge of change, but you also knew he didn’t feel the full weight of it yet. That he thought, in his foolish youth, that he would be an exception to the inevitability of time. He would come to know the freedom between you was limited, too, at his own pace.

Perhaps your choice would protect him from this ache you now felt – maybe he would be far enough down his own path, immersed in a new life, before he ever thought to look back, before he registered a loss. By then, you hoped and feared, you would be nothing more than a fond memory. Nothing that tugged at his present, at anything still tender.

In this moment, you are simply glad that Felix is wrapped up safe in his dreams of Dahyun. A childish fantasy based on almost nothing and yet – she already is a more likely participant in his future than you would ever be. Maybe a soft place to land, a distraction, during the months that you knew were coming.

Felix then turns to you, his eyes alight as he asks you for your opinion on Dahyun’s parents, and your heart swells to aching. You are grateful in this moment that he is still asking for it, and you are still there to give it. To talk him through his new feelings, walk him through what he is only now discovering, before he disappears from view.

There is still time, you tell yourself. Not much, maybe, but still – you have time.

~~~

The next day you are out in the kitchen when you hear the phone ring.

You rush to the library, holding it to your ear. Felix’s voice.

“Can I come over?” he asks, breathless, “For the garden?”

The two of you had always loved spending time in your family’s garden – it was lush and sprawling with blooms of every color, shaded by willows, a personal fantasy land for your imagination to roam. When you were small, you would spend hours rolling around in the beds and climbing the trees until your mother had yelled at you, gesturing to your sullied clothes. But soon enough you reached the age where you ache for responsibility, still too young to know the terrifying permanency of it once it arrives, its never-ending hunger, and so you had taken it on yourself to weed and plant and water together.

You had quickly found that you loved it. To plant seeds together, nurse them until they were flowers, protect them from harm. You and Felix would look at your garden in pride, a perfect little corner of the earth you had tended together.

Your mother had thought it was cute – until you had become a woman. Then it was unbecoming, shameful. But by that point there were no funds to pay for a gardener, so shame was an inevitability – your mother only got to choose the type.

So the two of you had tacitly come to an agreement – you could continue, but only when she wasn’t there, only when she could pretend she didn’t know, since she hadn’t technically seen.

So you look quickly, left and right, before calling out for your mother. There is only silence.

“Yes, my mother’s out,” you respond.

“Perfect,” he replies, “And I- “

He pauses. It’s unlike him to stop, to leave something unsaid.

“Yes?” you prod.

“I – “ he said, “Nevermind, it can wait.”

You know this isn’t true – he means it has to wait. Whatever it is, it’s weighty enough that he doesn’t think it’s fair to tell you over the phone. He has to tell you in person.

You swallow hard. A panic bubbles up in you, forming around a new emptiness.

“Okay,” you say, “See you soon, Lix.”

There’s a click, and you gather your skirts to head towards the garden, your stomach swirling.

~~~

Felix arrives a few minutes later with hair mussed, the sleeves of his linen shirt rolled up to reveal where his veins pop against his new muscles, freckles lit up by the sun. Your favorite form of him.

He is smiling as always, but there’s a little extra spark of something behind his eyes. He is bursting with it, rushing forward so that you’re close enough to hear, close enough for him to finally release.

And when he does, his words come in a sputter, jumbled and marked with nervous laughter bubbling up from the place between embarrassment and elation.

Dahyun’s father had called, he reveals, to his family estate. She has taken an interest in him, wants to start a courtship. He can’t believe it, that she would want to be with someone like him who had nothing more than history to offer, now more footnote at the bottom of a weathered page than a true legacy.

“Do you think she just wants a noble name?” he asked biting his, lip, brows knit, “That must be it. Her parents probably told her it’s a good idea, to confer legitimacy to the new money. They probably know about our situation, that we need the funds, thought it would be a mutually beneficial exchange kind of thing, like business—”

You hold up a single finger, placing it to his lips. His eyes widen, taken aback for a moment. You don’t usually touch him.

You don’t know Dahyun, but you know that isn’t it. Part of it maybe – no love is ever fully unsullied by the realities of society – but not all of it, not the core of it. Looking at him now, illuminated in the sun – it couldn’t be just that.

“She doesn’t just like you for that,” you insist, letting your finger fall, his eyes following it before he looks back up at your eyes, “I saw the way she looked at you that day. That wasn’t business.”

You turn away for a moment, crouching among the zinnias, pulling at the weeds.

“And so what if it happens to be mutually beneficial?” you continue, “Sounds ideal to me. A perfect match.”

You turn back, pulling your expression into a smile before meeting his eyes. He’s beaming.

“So are you going to help me here?” you tease, yanking out another fistful of crabgrass, “Or just stand there lovestruck?”

“Helping!” he says, rushing to crouch beside you, “How much time do you think we have?”

“I think she went to call on Mrs. Banks,” you say, “So maybe two hours? We can weed this section, at least.”

He bumps his knee against yours, and you get to work.

~~~

You move swiftly for the rest of the afternoon, tossing dandelions and bindweed into the wheelbarrow behind you.

The whole time, Felix talks, and you listen. He walks you through his future as he builds it in his mind, tearing down the scaffolding and rebuilding in real time. He’ll live here, but he would probably visit the city often. Or perhaps they would spend summers here, winters in the city, where the furnaces were no doubt stronger, where there wasn’t a chill from the sea. He wonders how many children she wants, how she would want to raise them.

You give him the space to ramble, as he always has with you. And honestly, you are relieved for it – the pressure in your head has returned. It is easier to just listen.

When the sun begins to set you know it’s time to hide the evidence, if you want to uphold the charade. You know you mother is on her way home.

“I think that’s probably good for today,” you say, “Don’t want to cut it too close.”

He nods, dropping his rake, wiping sweat from his brow. You take a deep breath.

“…So when are you seeing her, then?”

“Tomorrow,” he confirms, “Tea at Mrs. Cho’s, I think. Many eyes, you know, to keep it proper. To make sure I’m not doing anything untoward.”

You nod. You know too well the limits that begin to descend as soon as courting begins.

Felix helps you empty the wheelbarrow over the lowest wall, the one that has crumbled the most, and brushes the dirt from his clothes before moving towards the gate. You follow him, to see him out as you always do.

“I’ll call you after,” he says, “To tell you how it went.”

He pauses for a moment, and then reaches out to place his hand on your waist. The touch is more of a grip than usual, sliding rather than brushing its way to your hip. You place your hand briefly on his, but pull it away before the moment is fully solid, while the touch is more possibility than true contact.

“Good luck,” you breathe, “She’ll love you, I’m sure.”

He doesn’t need the wishes, you know – she will love him.

~~~

Felix doesn’t call you after, but, still, you know you were right.

You see them hand in hand, walking down the street. Sitting on street corners, taking afternoon tea. Always smiling, always laughing. The way her gloved hand inches towards his, and his bare one towards hers. You can see the ache in the space between them.

His parents call on yours early on, and you lurk in the shadows, watching the garish display. They glow with self-satisfaction, seeing now how your families’ futures will now split. They speak in terms of joy for their son, but you know at the core is a boastful, haughty thing. With the dowry, your ancient sprawling estate is the only one that will continue to yield solely leaky funds and sagging roofs. You notice how your parents wince at their happiness.

The next day they ask you – won’t you consider a suitor? It is past time, can’t wait too long, or the best options will be gone.

You make a flimsy excuses before escaping out of the room, down the hall, to your garden. You watch the dandelion seeds float in the wind, snow in summer.

You will wait, a little more. Just a little bit. The rules are different for Felix than they would be for you – he can call on you, visit, without a second thought, if he wants. It’s a choice he fully has, as long as you have no husband to stop him. He’s just busy, wrapped up in his new love right now, you tell yourself, but there will be more time. Because you will make more time.

The days roll into a week, then two. You try not to feel too disappointed, too hurt that he doesn’t feel the need to share his new life with you. You store up all the things you want to tell him, all the questions you have, all the little observations that would immediately have flowed to him before. You carry them carefully as you walk through your life, like a too-full teacup, your hand always positioned to catch a spill. But still, even with your best efforts, you start to overflow, leaving drops on the floor as the days pass. You forgot the little things before they ever can reach his ears, accumulating until they’ve pooled into important things, the kind that’s impossible to recount in their entirety at once. That can only be told honestly in pieces, broken into their smallest components, each easy enough to say to construct the harder whole.

It scares you, to have thoughts lost before he can hold them too. The idea that your life now is only yours, that it doesn’t flow, naturally, to him too.

You keep yourself busy, cleaning up the soot, repainting, trying to keep up with the gardening by yourself. Each day you wake up at dawn with an unearned hope that today he will call, today he will want to talk as much as you do, that he feels this same pressure as you do, the need to pour his thoughts into you, the thirst to receive yours in return. But the hope of your mornings is always extinguished in the silence of afternoon, the emptiness of evening.

This is for the best, you tell yourself. This is what you wanted – to have him move swiftly into the fullness of a new life, one big enough to fill up the emptiness of your separation. But still, in the deepest corner of you, you, again, resent it. That he doesn’t need you, that you are pushing your own future forward to make space for whatever few sentences he still want to give you. It’s embarrassing, pathetic. And you resent yourself for that, and then him, again, for making yourself, the only friend you now have, impossible company.

But above all the bitterness, you just miss him. It is simple and raw, with no harsh edges, even when your mind bites at the memory of him out of spite and hurt. It never bites too hard – what you have left of him is precious.

As the weeks roll into a month, you find your resolve fading, the selfishness taking advantage of your exhaustion. You know you should let him be to move on happily alone, but still – you find your hands hovering over the phone. You take detours to his house, hoping to run into him, or at least hear a snippet of his voice. But you never do.

You call, finally, on the day that the dahlias that you planted together bloom. The had thrived unexpectedly, even squished among the weeds that had grown up their sides. You hadn’t been able to keep up with the garden alone.

“Oh, he’s out with Dahyun and her family,” his mother says, “So smitten, that one. Try calling again later dear?”

So you do. A second time.

Your mother asks you about a boy who lives up the hill, whose family owns a tannery. A good trade, and a kind boy, she hears. You say he isn’t for you.

A third time.

Or perhaps the heir to the local shipping company? Sturdy man, well-built, she says. You’d like that, right? No, you reply.

A fourth time. Felix is always busy.

But still you tell yourself, in an endless loop: there is still time, there is still time, there is still time…

~~~

A letter arrives in the mail, the ink still fresh, the envelope gilded in gold.

“I think you’ll want to see this,” your mother says.

Your heart starts pounding, but you take it from her, rip it open.

Please join us in celebrating the engagement of Felix Lee and Dahyun Park…

You drop it to the floor, retracting your hand fast. You still feel the aftershock of the burn in your hand, throbbing, as you spit out the expected celebratory remarks before retreating to your room, throwing yourself on your bed.

You take a few slow deep breaths. You don’t know how you feel – it’s almost anger but not quite. It’s heavier, with less fire, but still, it sears.

You can’t identify it with any word you know so you decide – it must be joy. Your plan worked, after all – you got what you wanted. Felix is in safe hands, soon to be in the arms of someone he adores, who loves him too. A smooth, painless transition into adulthood.

Over the next few days, you focus on the practicalities of the preparations, finding comfort in the solidness of the objects. You select pearls and diamonds from your collection, heirlooms from a century ago. You think first that you will wear the yellow dress you bought recently – it’s bright and new and sunny, reminding you of him – but you always go back to the green gown at the back of your closet. It’s of the old style, but it’s pretty, the emerald of the cloth scattering light. It feels right, but you can’t explain why.

The night of the party you sit in front of your mirror, your heart thumping against your chest as you tack the pearls to your ears, hang the diamonds from your neck. You are still jumbled, but you can identify at least one emotion among the mess inside you – excitement.

You are excited that you will see him, celebrate with him, talk to him. It’s appropriate, natural, that you would, to wish your childhood best friend all the best in his next chapter. Even if it’s just a few sentences, it will be enough for you. A final paragraph, at least, a conclusion to mark the end of your youth. Some kind of closure. It still counts as time.

And you still hold out hope, that once Felix settles into his new life, into his new emotions, there might even be more time. A few months, maybe, before you enter your own engagement and are forced to close the book for good, when you could still speak with him somewhat freely. An epilogue, perhaps.

As you adjust your dress, you try to gather the most important drops of memory from the last month from the sea that now swells inside you, waves breaking against the inside of your skin. It seems impossible to select just a few questions, a few moments to scoop up. But you do.

You flatten the green cloth one final time against your lap before taking a deep breath and rising to stand.

~~~

You gasp as soon as you enter the Park Estate.

The plainness of the exterior that Felix had poked fun at weeks ago gives way to a great hall rises in columns of white marble, intricate moldings etched around each support and each window, which reveal a stunning view of the bay at sunset. A crystal chandelier hangs above you, powered, of course, by electricity, scattering light against the brass banisters that rise along the spiral stairs. They sweep up from the floor, to a terrace above where guests mingle. Trees, brought in from the tropics, hang over your head. You wonder how long they will survive in this climate.

It is better than anything you could have hoped for him. Leaps and bounds better than your low, sagging ceilings, his cracked windows.

And then you hear a low voice, as if from a dream, and you turn your head to see Felix. The rest of your breath leaves you in a quick burst, and when you try to draw a new inhale, you find the room suddenly emptied of air.

He still wears the smile you remember, and perhaps a few extra freckles over the bridge of his nose. The mussed hair from the last time you saw him has been slicked back, parted. He is a man now, fully. But still, he is himself.

And then there is Dahyun to his left, dripping a dress of cobalt, the latest fashion from Paris. You see the way his gaze darts to her as she speaks, bouncing between her eyes to her lips. And then you see – his hand in hers, rubbing gently at the cloth at her palm.

You turn away quickly, grabbing a glass of wine.

You are patient the rest of the night, watching from afar as Felix smiles and laughs at the gaggle of well-wishers perpetually swarming him. You watch a surprise serenade by Dahyun’s father, in celebration of the union. You chat with the townspeople, your parents, Dahyun’s parents. And then finally Changbin, who tells you of his life in the city. You only half-listen, but it helps pass the time.

As the light of the moon begins to mix with that of the chandelier, the room begins to clear as the party-goers bid the happy couple good night. Dahyun follows a few guests out – family that had traveled far, you assume.

And then Felix is alone, finally. You step forward, calling his name.

His head snaps to you, and a smile spreads across his face, warm and genuine. You feel like you’ll overflow, but for the first time in weeks, it doesn’t feel uncomfortable – it just feels like your past merging finally with your present, your heart stretching to make space for both.

You begin to talk before you can think, the moments and questions pouring out in a jumble despite all your planning, all the preparation for this exchange.

And then you see Felix’s eyes dart behind you, and you stop talking, turning to follow his gaze. Dahyun has re-entered the room. She stands patiently at the doorway, hands clasped in front of her, smiling sweetly at her betrothed.

“Sorry, I have to go but – ” mutters Felix without a glance back towards you, already taking a step forward, “I’ll call you later though, okay? I promise.”

And so he strides past you, and you turn to watch as he reaches out his hand. Dahyun grasps it, beaming.

Something knots itself inside you and you know – no matter hard you pick at it, try to pull, it will never come undone. But, still, it doesn’t fully choke your hope. You go home and wait for his call. You hear its ghost it in the whistling of the kettle, the sizzle of the pan.

But only a different call comes. You finally answer.

~~~

[ II ]

The following day, Dahyun and Felix board a carriage, travel for hours across empty land, before stepping out onto a busy street. It is swarmed with carriages and horses and parasols, the screech of horns and whistles.

They are visiting the city for few weeks so that she can introduce him to the world she comes from, and so, in the following days she grasps his hand and leads him: up the stairs into her massive manor in the heart of the city, to the most expensive box at the opera, through parties of the elite, full of dignitaries and captains of industry, through department stores and art galleries, always flanked by her aunts and cousins and family business partners. She holds his hand the whole time, down all the paths that have suddenly unfurled before him from the place there their bodies join. The world has never seemed so big, so infinitely accessible. An endless array of new places for him to explore.

Tonight, he follows her down the grand staircase in her home, attending a party hosted by her grandparents. It is ostensibly just a mechanical function of this circle’s strict social calendar, a requirement of high society, but when he sees her grandparents beam when they catch Dahyun’s gaze on him, he knows it is more – it’s a welcome, a celebration of them.

As Dahyun reaches the bottom of the flight she looks back to smile at Felix, and his heart tumbles. He can’t believe, still, that Dahyun chose him. She is kind, smart, beautiful, poised – every good adjective, every single thing one would ever hope to find in a wife.

He is so lucky, he knows.

The evening passes in a buzz of conversation and fine spirits, music and city lights dancing on the apartment’s gilded interior. He speaks to various family members, a few local factory owners, but he mostly speaks with Dahyun – of the social events that still remain later in the calendar year, the horse she intends to buy at the next derby, Felix’s hometown, potential places they could visit the days after. They decide to visit the city’s new public park, planned by the city’s greatest landscape architects. Once their conversation concludes, they rejoin a group of aunts chatting near the fireplace. Felix grabs a flute of champagne as they walk over.

By the end of the night he is close to dizzy, his brain just a frizzled cloud, but his limbs feel tight even as hands edge into numbness. He isn’t sure if it’s from the alcohol, or the constant stream wealth and glamour that barrages him, exciting even as it frays his nerves. Regardless, he excuses himself politely, smiling to Dahyun before retiring to his chambers.

He lies in bed, the silks cooling against his heated skin. It itches, almost, and he takes a few deep breaths, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the buzz to subside, for his blood to settle in his limbs.

And when it does, he feels –

An ache in his core. Something unsettled in his gut – corners pushing into his tender flesh, a chill where there’s a gap, the wind blowing through.

It’s just adjustment, he thinks. So many changes – Dahyun, the new wealth, new places, new people – a thousand puzzle pieces he has suddenly been given that he must use to construct a new life. He just needs to figure out the pattern, put things together.

He lets out an exhale, pulling the sheets over his head, blocking out the city lights that stream through the window. For a moment, he’s back in his childhood bed. And then, he’s asleep.

~~~

As planned, they head out early the following morning the visit the city’s central park. With initial family visits concluded and the rules relaxed now that the engagement is set, he finally is able spend time alone with Dahyun. As long as they’re in public, they can go without a chaperone looking over his shoulder, or an aunt chattering in his ear about children. He is excited to have the chance to speak freely.

And so they talk of the city’s recent growth, the trends in architecture, a revolt of the fishing union a few weeks back.

The park entrance is flanked by blooming dahlias, in peach and coral and burgundy, and Dahyun exclaims at their beauty. Felix agrees quickly, then looks ahead to the path that splits before them, wondering where it will lead, what swaying willows and magical secluded havens it will lead them through in the city’s greatest, most acclaimed offering of nature.

At the fork, they turn right. They pass meticulously maintained flowerbeds sectioned by color, perfectly round ponds cut from the earth, pristine meadows marked with signs of “No entry! Grass is growing!” They come across another split in the road that leads towards where the trees huddle together, dense and mysterious, and Felix asks if they can change direction. So they veer off the main path, in search of something more wild, but after a few minutes the path ends, and they return to the main road.

They continue walking, past wrought iron benches spaced carefully at half-mile intervals, a pond with imported fish, fountains cast in marble. They spend a few minutes in a boat at the main reservoir, rowing in a lap before bumping against the edge. It is all pretty but – he finds himself always anticipating, waiting to come across something that he can’t quite define – maybe a gnarled tree, or a frog strayed into his path, some wildflowers spread across the meadow. A surprise.

And then they are back at the start. The path, it seems, was a loop.

~~~

After returning home, they sit for lunch.

Servants swarm them, laying down silver platters full of finger sandwiches, roast meats, teapots of fragrant teas. He picks one up, pouring into the fine china in front of him. The stream sputters, tiny flecks of leaves scattering across the surface as the pot empties, leaving his cup only half-full. He reaches for another.

They talk about a fight on the rail station, the news having quickly made its way uptown. He picks up a sandwich, placing it on his plate, and offers his own story of a fight he witnessed when he was young at his own hometown’s docks, a brawl over mackerel. Dahyun giggles at the absurdity of it.

They rest for the remainder of the day in the parlor, tired from their adventure earlier, the sun having left them listless and light-weary.

They speak again about the horse she hopes to buy the following weekend at the derby, a dappled stallion. She considers if she should bring it with her to the countryside when they return. A good idea, Felix agrees, there’s certainly space for it there.

Dinner begins promptly at six in the evening, as normal. Her aunt and uncle, who were to join them, have called to say they can’t make it – her aunt has a cough, probably nothing serious, but it’s best for her to rest. Dahyun’s grandparents are absent as well, attending an evening service.

So Felix and Dahyun dine alone, accompanied only by servants and butlers. She asks him if his hometown has always been as sleepy as it is now, and he says yes, but even more so before. He asks her if this social season is as busy as they always are and she confirms, saying that while there are a few events each week this year, in previous years there are often a dozen.

She goes on to describe the kinds of parties that are thrown, the people to attend. Felix asks questions at appropriate times, reacts at the peak of each of her small stories. But then, after a few minutes, she falters.

Did she already mention the horse she wishes to buy? she asks. Oh yes, she did.

There are a few more silent seconds as she stirs her soup, and Felix jumps in to ask – what shall we do during the rest of these visit?

She exhales quickly, almost inaudibly, before tacking to the list she had begun the night before – they could visit the river walk, see the new bridge that was constructed in the last year connecting the central island to its outer boroughs. Or perhaps the botanical garden.

Felix perks up. The botanical garden sounds nice, he replies.

And then for a moment he loses himself – he tells her about the garden he once helped care for. Of the year beetles invaded, like a biblical plague, eating through all the bulbs in his neighbor’s yard, so the spring rains had only yielded soggy dirt. How there had been an invasion of leaf miners the year following, leaving white trails along the leaves of all their ferns. But they had been young, inexperienced – they didn’t realize what it was, thought they had discovered a new species of plant. Had been so proud of themselves until they had rushed to his neighbor’s mother and she had said – no that was just a pest, a bug, painting on the leaves. Little artists, she had said.

When he finishes, Dahyun is smiling sweetly. “How nice,” she says.

She looks down at her plate again, poking at the sauce, drawing a pattern. When she starts speaking again she mentions how she when she was young, she always played with her horses, participating in dressage competitions. The horse she plans on buying this week is bred for that, she says.

Ah, he thinks, again. The horse.

And then suddenly he realizes – they are on another circle. The whole day she has been getting lost in his words, and him in hers, and they return always to their starting point for safety. Each time the try to stray, the periods in their sentences are trail markers, forcing them back to well-worn topics, back to their loop.

He reminds himself that they have only known each other for a short time, have only just started spending time alone. It takes time to speak freely, to get comfortable. They are just missing the right common ground on which they together can draw new paths to explore.

So for the rest of the dinner, he asks her every question he can think of. He asks her about her favorite things, shares his. Do you like to read? Do you like the city or the countryside? Are you and your brother close? Do you frequent the museums? Do you enjoy sports?

She responds, politely and warmly, but none of her responses lead naturally into one of his own. Placing his dessert fork down he promises himself – it’s okay, no problem, we’ll try again tomorrow.

His sleep is restless, unable to stop his brain from playing out scenarios, conversations, ways to act. He can study for this, prepare for this. Ensure everything goes smoothly.

~~~

The next morning, he starts again with gusto. He is more than ready, his brain now carrying a numbered list, penned in last night’s moonlight, and so he rifles though:

(1) Do you have a favorite artist?

(2) What is your favorite season?

(3) What are your favorite parts of the city?

For the rest of the day, he continues down the list, but with no luck. When he gets in bed that night, he feels that same ache as before, but it feels more solid now – perhaps there was something off with dinner, something his body can’t figure out how to digest. He tosses the whole night, unable to relieve the pressure, but still, he starts again the following day with equal fervor.

And then the day after that. The following weekend. The following week.

When he reaches the end of his first list of questions, he scrapes to find more – tacking them on:

(1023) Oh the weather is nice today, isn’t it?

(1024) That’s a pretty tree, right?

(1025) What a nice show, don’t you think?

He is patient, tries everything, but again and again – he finds no place from which to spring, and he can tell she can’t either. There is way for him to bounce easily off into his own thoughts. He is always having to prepare himself before she finishes her sentences – contracting all his muscles with a ready thought, ready to leap into some response. He must rely on all of his own momentum, none passing between them. At the end of each day, he is exhausted.

And, even then, with all his effort, they find themselves at the same starting point, again and again. He starts to hate that godforsaken horse.

Lying in bed at night, two weeks from their trip to the park, the jumble at his core has grown more painful, like a gallstone, poking at his stomach, making him nauseous. He rolls over, burying his head in the pillow, furious at himself, frustrated. He can’t figure out what’s wrong with him, what he needs to do differently. He’s missing some optimization, some trick, needs to be more interesting, better. He always knew he wasn’t enough for Dahyun. Should he read more, learn more about art, or architecture, or…horses?

He doesn’t understand what he’s doing wrong. Why it’s this hard to find a rhythm, a flow. How it could require this much work, when it had always been so natural with you, he –

And then, suddenly, it’s clear:

The mess inside him is the accumulation of every word he and Dahyun have exchanged. They are both too much and too little, all at wrong angles. He doesn’t need more time to sort them out, readjust to make them fit together correctly.

They never will, because none of them are yours.

~~~

[ III ]

He breaks the proposal next day.

He sees how Dahyun’s face falls, fighting against tears. He knows she felt something was off too, but still, she doesn’t deserve this. He never did deserve her.

When he goes back to his room to pack, he hurls his clothing in his suitcase with his head cast to the floor, avoiding mirrors. He doesn’t want to look at himself.

He is rushed quickly and unceremoniously into a carriage, spends the whole ride back to his hometown with his head buried in his hands. He knows it would have been crueler for him to stay, but he also knows that him leaving is self-preservation, the desperate need to relief the pressure in the center of his being. He can’t pretend it’s anything noble.

As they move past the city lights, to the untamed countryside, the jumble starts to dissipate. But there is no relief – it is immediately replaced by fear, the panicked sting of uncertainty. He has no plan. He doesn’t know what he’s allowed to ask from his future.

There’s an emptiness too, that opens, particular in its tastes, screaming to be filled. A new pressure emanating from the negative space.

When he arrives home, his parents don’t speak to him for a week. And then, when they do, they just say – What a shame. How could you do this to us?

He can’t explain the truth, so he stumbles over generic excuses – sometimes things just don’t work out, I wasn’t the right one for her, I tried my best to make it work but –

They just shake their heads and turn, walking past the smudged windows, under the decaying eaves, leaving him alone to explain to himself. This, somehow, is even worse.

He hides out in a dark corner of his bedroom, knowing the whole town is abuzz with the news, afraid to run into any member of Dahyun’s family. Of being asked for an explanation that he can’t give, a truth that can’t exist.

Sitting still, the guilt accumulates around him, haunting him. But there’s another ghost, far more terrifying, made of brass, howling his name. In the haze of his future, in the swirl where potential and missed opportunity mix he knows one thing – he aches to hear your voice.

Still, though, he finds himself stalling. Passing by the phone, never touching it. The blur of the last few months has finally slowed, and with all the time alone, his brain is finally able to grasp onto everything that has happened, to inspect it. And he realizes – he told you he’d call you, but never did. Twice. He didn’t mean to break his promise, but he was so stupid and inexperienced and foolish, caught up in a dream he had thought would be his reality that he had gotten lost in time, lost track of you.

But his intentions didn’t matter. He was sure you had felt abandoned. Among all the things he is sorry for – disappointing his parents, hurting Dahyun – he hates himself most for this. He thinks of all the little thoughts and tiny hurts you had to nurse by yourself, while he was blissfully, selfishly unaware.

And so he aches to call you, more than anything, but he is equally terrified. He doesn’t know how you’ve changed over the last few months, if you are angry, if you even want to talk to him.

But after a few more days, he finally finds himself seated next to the phone, his hand on the cold metal. He starts counting down from ten, tells himself he will call at zero. He doesn’t. He counts ten more. Another ten. And then, in a huff and a blaze of courage he picks up the receiver, jamming his finger in the dial, swirling it. And the he waits, terrified, the rings of the phone and the hammering of his heart joining in a percussion of anticipation.

And then he hears a click, your voice.

“Hello?” you ask, “To whom –“

“Hi it’s –”

“Felix,” you finish.

And then there is just the crackle of a briefly severed connection. Silence.

He doesn’t know what to say, knowing that he can’t say the truth – that he returned home because it didn’t feel right, despite all the good in it, because it wasn’t this and he doesn’t know what that means and is too scared to figure it out and he misses you and he’s so sorry and he prays that you’re not mad but understands if you are. He’s not asking for forgiveness, just to hear your voice and your thoughts and any words you’ll give him. He’s empty and desperate for them. Needs them, you.

So he settles for:

“How are you?”

You respond, flatly, simply:

“Well, and you?”

He winces. This isn’t you — it’s a script. Worse than silence, worse than not knowing what you had left to offer him.

And then –

“I was sorry to hear the news about your engagement ending. I hope you are both well.”

Another line pulled from an etiquette book. Panic bubbles, and before he can think he is apologizing profusely, explaining how he just lost track but he really, definitely, still should have called. He is so sorry, so so sorry, he repeats again and again. He hopes it will help mend any hurts, will ease the block between you. But you just brush him off, saying that you were busy too, that you understand. And then nothing more.

So he then tries to lead with the things you like to talk about, to pull more from you. The kind of things that used to have you uncorking yourself, pouring into him, at the whiff of a suggestion that he was listening. But you remain restrained – not rude, just a stranger.

And then there’s a rustle in the background, and Felix hears the quick tumble of your mother’s words. He strains to make out the meaning, and then he hears another voice. A man’s voice.

And then there’s a brief quiet. He knows you’re holding your hand against the receiver, blocking your voice from him as you speak to your mother and your visitor.

“Sorry, I have to go but,” you say when you remove it, “I’ll call you later, Felix, okay?”

And then the phone clicks and he is left holding the phone to his ear like a seashell, straining to hear depths. But there is only the sound of empty space, reverberating.

~~~

Over the next few days, Felix finds himself hovering near the phone, never outside hearing distance. He knows it’s futile, knows nothing will come, but he can’t help but have a little hope. And besides – it’s easier to focus on the possibility of your voice than the probability that your guest represents.

But after a few days Felix’s hope has diminished to just a sliver, and he finally, begrudgingly, starts to force himself into the outside world, back into attempting some semblance of normal life, but he still is always thinking of you. There are side glances and hushed whispers downtown, as expected, but this isn’t the worst of it – he sees now what he was missing, secluded in his home.

You and Changbin, waltzing down the street, accompanied by your mother. In Mrs. Cho’s parlor, eating tarts. Giggling together as you ride the newly refurbished trolley, funded by his family. You have begun a courtship.

When you run into one another you are polite, an appropriate level of lukewarm. Changbin is curt – because of his sister, Felix is sure – but there’s something else there too. The edge of a possessiveness, a warning for Felix to stay back, turn away. Your mother, your new chaperone, seems oblivious to it, so Changbin doesn’t fuss. But Felix can feel its quiet heat.

And he doesn’t know if it’s this new dynamic, or your own anger, or if you simply have no attachment to him anymore, but it’s clear – that afternoon in the garden was the last time you would ever pour yourselves into one another. You have nothing to give him, want nothing from him.

So he doesn’t bother you – he just watches you from afar, sitting alone. He can never hear exactly what you say, but he watches you mouth words quickly to Changbin, laughing, raising your eyebrows in reaction to his jokes. It breaks his heart.

Felix always knew that change would come, had seen the way it did for others, but he hadn’t fully realized its weight or scope until was already upon him, crushing him. He had somehow thought that even with the backdrop of your own separate marriages, you would still be able to maintain some freedom. He had been stupid, thinking he was some exception. He had thought you would always have more time, and so he had spent it all without knowing, fool’s gold. He aches for more, still.

And so he can’t help but to nurse a space inside himself to receive anything you might be willing to give, at any time. He struggles to pad the void with blades of time he still holds from your childhood, trying make himself feel less hollow. But they’re too light, dried out, crumbling. He aches for freshness, something he can tend to.

So he collects whatever clippings he can from a distance – a glance, a faint smile, a few words – gloriously green for a second, and then all too fast brown in his clutched hands.

They are not alive. They cannot give him what he wants.

~~~

And then in Mrs. Cho’s parlor he hears it – gossip, solidifying too quickly into fact, trapping him like a cast. A snippet from a conversation behind him:

“Changbin is finally going to propose tomorrow, I hear. Asked for permission from her parents and everything already. He’s heading to the city so he has to propose, if he wants to bring her with him.”

Felix chokes on his tea. He knew this was coming, but still, he isn’t ready.

“They’re not having an engagement party here?” another voice asks, “Just leaving?”

“No, Changbin has stronger ties to the city – he’ll want to celebrate there, with his friends and business partners. Wants to set up a life there as fast as possible.”

As fast as possible. The sentence jolts through his chest.

“He’s eager to get her accustomed to city life – and he’s smitten by her, besides. Wants to move things along, start a family, establish themselves as a force in the elite circle. I spoke with his parents last week, and they say he came to them, assuring them she was the one. Said to them, ‘…she’s just so eloquent you know? Never says too much, always precise. Has a point to everything. She’ll fit in well at any party, perfect for me.’”

“Sounds like a perfect match then,” remarks the other woman gleefully.

Felix forces himself out of his chair, unable to hear anymore. The women at the table turn to him as his chair scrapes, and he pays quickly, rushes out the door. Past the crumbling walls, the shattered scales of tile, the unkept grasses to his compound, the whole time his brain replaying their conversation.

And then it gets stuck, like the needle on a phonograph.

Never says too much, always precise. Has a point to everything.

It makes him boil, limbs on fire, fists clenching. Changbin wants you like the water that runs through his pipes – washing his hands, watering his garden, filling his glass. Controlled, portioned, calibrated to a purpose. Discarding the rest down the drain, without a second thought.

And, now, too, there is the question of what to do. He had expected that you would have some sort of sendoff, a way for him to see you for the last time before you were whisked away to your new life. A few more minutes of time guaranteed before you vanish. But now, suddenly, there is nothing left.

So he makes a decision, as selfish as it is self-sacrificing. He will visit your home one last time, for one final goodbye. To wish you the best, make sure you seem happy, to let you know he’s there if you ever need him. But also, to steal a few extra moments with you, a last chance to pad out the emptiness he has carved involuntarily inside himself.

~~~

That night he stands in front of your door, fist hovering a few inches from the wood. He starts counting down from ten, tells himself he will knock at zero. He doesn’t. He counts ten more. Another ten. And then his fist is against the wood, feeling as if his hand belongs to someone else.

Your mother opens the door, wearing an apron, clearly have just come from the kitchen. She breaks into a familiar smile.

“Oh Felix! It’s been a while, come in.”

And so he does, stepping past the threshold. He hears voices down the hall, laughter.

“What brings you here, dear?” your mother asks, shutting the door behind him.

Felix swallows hard, manages to mumble, “I heard the…happy news, about tomorrow. So just wanted to come by to wish her well in person before she leaves for the city. Uh, say, goodbye to my oldest friend, you know, and – “

“Oh! Yes…that’s sweet of you,” your mother says, “She’s in the library. Changbin and her father are in the parlor actually, and sent her back there to fetch a volume on history. She’s been there a while, you can go meet her there. Ask her to rejoin the parlor when you’re done, okay?”

Felix nods, assuring her that he’ll do just that, and moves quickly down the corridor. He is relieved and deeply grateful that just your mother answered the door, that she still has a blind spot after all of these years, allowed him this one final opportunity. Perhaps a final repayment, a few minutes of turning the other way for all the hours you had given her to focus on what she wanted. He knows that if Changin saw him instead, that he’d stop Felix, politely of course, but still.

So he passes the parlor as quickly as he can, catching only a glimpse of father and soon-to-be-son-in-law sitting with piles of books, Changbin’s hand splayed over one, his index finger pointing to a line. He continues down corridor after corridor until their distant laughter fades to silence.

~~~

The library is at the very end of the hall, facing the family garden.

When he enters, he first sees your family’s phone, deceptive in its inanimate innocence. And then he your silhouette, facing the bookshelf, illuminated by candles and moonlight. You are crouched on the floor, a tumble of books to your left and right, your hand between shelves, adjusting an old leather volume.

The worn floor creaks beneath Felix’s foot, and you turn, eyes wide as you see him.

“Felix…” you breathe.

“Your mother said you were here fetching a book,” he rushes to say, only a partial explanation for his presence. He has been thinking about what to say all day, craved a moment like this for weeks, but he feels awkward, unprepared. He’s not sure exactly what he wants to say, knowing it won’t be everything he wants to say.

So for a few moments he’s just silent, his eyes fixed on the books piled around you, the empty shelves in front of you. He wonders what exactly you’re doing rearranging the library with a guest – your future husband – waiting for you.

You must catch some confusion in his expression, because you explain:

“A while ago, I organized everything by size…”

“I remember,” Felix responds.

“…But it still didn’t seem quite right, so I’m trying it in alphabetical order.”

You don’t say anything else, don’t ask why he’s there, just continue slotting in books. He worries that he want him to leave, are just being polite, but you don’t seem bothered either. You just pick up a book at a time, examining the spine, before placing it next to its new neighbors. Unhurried, in no rush to get back to the parlor.

But he still worries, so he offers, “Don’t want to take up too much of your time, I know you probably want to get back to Changbin – “

“He and my father will be perfectly fine without me for a while,” you interrupt, your back to him as you adjust a dictionary, “He sees so much of my anyway, and he’ll have plenty of time to see more of me.”

Felix swallows down the jealousy, poison rising from his heart. He’ll have plenty of time.

“I just –,” Felix continues, “Wanted to come say goodbye, I guess. I…know about Changbin’s plans for tomorrow. We just spent so much time together, so it just seemed…wanted to wish you the best, before you head to the city. To say congratulations.”

“Thank you. But it’s not like I’m leaving forever, Lix,” you say, “I’ll come back to visit now and then.”

“It won’t be the same, though.”

“No,” you say, “It won’t.”

And then you pause, before confessing, “But it hasn’t been for while, either.” Your tone is just truthful, like you are stating an everyday fact, one that doesn’t require you to form any feeling about it -- the price of milk, the time of the sunset.

Felix drops his eyes to the floor, unable to hold your gaze.

“…I had to make a real future,” you say. Your tone still holds no emotion, but it’s softer, gentler than anything else you’ve said.

When he looks back up he sees: the curtains, slanted. The fireplace, covered in soot. The paint, peeling. All the things that now fell to you to somehow fix.

“I know,” he says, gentle, too.

And then, before he can think it through:

“I miss you.”

A moment passes.

“I miss you, too,” you respond.

It isn’t an opening. It’s just an acknowledgement of the way things are, the way they will continue to be. Closure, but with none of the relief.

And then you turn back to the shelf, slotting a book back in. You are quiet for a few seconds, and he wonders if they’re the start of the eternity he has been dreading.

“Thanks for stopping by, though. Nice of you,” you say.

And then true silence. Now permanent.

He knows this is the end. That, finally, definitively, time is up. He feels like he should say goodbye, farewell, something, but to do so seems too cavalier, almost sacrilegious. There is not a word that Felix knows that can capture the weight of this departure.

So, he steals just a few more seconds, watching you before he turns, and then he hears –

A sob. You are trying to choke it down, but it’s unmistakable.

His next move is all instinct, muscle memory moving him to you, his chest to your back, arms wrapped around you, head on your shoulder. Just as he did when you fell and scraped your knee as a child, or broke your favorite toy. He should have thought before acting, turned around and left, but his head is empty, his body full of a primal need to fix and soothe.

“Hey, hey, ” he coos, “Are you okay? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come…so sorry…”

You shake your head, drawing a broken inhale. And then you turn, locking eyes with him, and he recognizes your expression. It is the same one he sees every time he looks in the mirror.

And so his next movement is both a natural progression and a huge leap. His lips, placed gently on your shoulder. Then to your neck, upwards.

He pauses between each kiss to see if it’s too far, if you want to pull away, but you don’t. You just melt back into him, moving your hand back to grip in his hair, letting him explore you. But still - you’ve only ever walked him through your mind, never through your body. He needs to stop, to ask where he’s permitted.

“Is this okay?” he whispers into your neck, “Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” you sigh, “No, please, don’t stop, please.”

He presses his lips again to your neck again, reassuring you that he won’t, before asking, “Okay, let me know if I go too far, though, promise?”

You nod, and so he moves to give you what you want – his lips on yours, down your neck, fingers caressing your curves, pulling at the fabric. There’s a burning fire in his hands that finds relief only in your skin, but this is a secondary need. He doesn’t know what any of this means, what’s going on inside your head, knows it can’t change things, but he now sees a glimpse of you, an opening. He wants to soothe all of you, see all of you, hear all of you, while he still can.

So he is panicked in his questions – he knows his time is short, the door already against his feet. There is therefore no organization, just plea after plea, all that he has been aching to know, all that he is just now learning to ask. Racing to jump first from his tongue.

“Can I touch you here?”

“Have you been okay?”

“Can I take this off?”

“Did you see those weird clouds a few weeks ago?”

“Will you be happy?”

“You’re sensitive there, huh?”

It’s comical, but he doesn’t care, and, apparently, neither do you. You just answer, giving back everything that he pours into you. He hovers over you, clouds to rain, rain to your sea, evaporating back up in his sunshine. Raining down again. The cycle is endless, as natural in you as it is to the earth.

And so, you respond as best you can between gasps, the ache of pleasure in your throat as his lips travel across your jaw, below your ear, his hands gently pulling off your clothing. You don’t respond to his last question, the moan answer enough as his lips suck at your sweet spot.

And then he pauses. There’s a new riddle he has to answer – something else from your throat, requiring just his tongue but no words. His hand slides down your front, between your legs.

“Can I kiss you here?”

You nod, and he drops to his knees, pushing up your skirts. The angle is awkward, but you are both too rushed to figure out a better position, desperate for the new contact. You lean against the table behind you for support.

He’s gentle as he pulls off your undergarments, his gaze always upwards, devoted, watching your reaction carefully as he kisses up your thigh. He just wants to make you feel good, to make up as much as he can in this little additional time he’s been given for all the pain he’s caused. He’s nervous, afraid he won’t be good enough, but you know he’s new to this – he had told you, late one night in a blushing haze, everything he had never tried but desperately wanted to, so you gently guide him as you discover your body together. He listens to every word you say, every direction, until there are no more suggestions, just moans tumbling from your lips.

And then just his name – over and over, laced with pleasure, the prettiest it has ever sounded – until you give one final cry, throwing your head back.

He then sits back in the desk chair, pulling you on top of him, cradling you against his chest as your breathing evens out, as you recover from your high. He gently your hair, kissing your forehead, asking gently, “Feeling okay?”

You nod against his chest, then scoot up, burying your head into his neck. He pulls you closer, fingertips ghosting over your back.

“Lix?” you whisper into his neck.

“Mhm...?” he hums, gazing down at you, wanting to inhabit this moment forever, hold you forever, so grateful for it.

“I want you to take me.”

His heart stops. He pulls you away from him for a moment, so he can look into your eyes. He needs to be sure.

“Do you mean…?”

“Yes.” you say. Your voice is firm, determined.

It’s too much for his brain to process. To have you once and then never again, especially this once – he knows it will haunt him, that he’ll never recover. If he does this, the damage is permanent. And he knows, too, as much as he wants it – he shouldn’t.

“I know we’ve…” he says, gesturing to their position, the obvious sin in it, “But that, that I shouldn’t take. That’s for – “

“Please,” you say, “I just want this. Just this one thing. Please. One choice.”

And then, the most devastating thing you could say:

“I want this to be ours, even if nothing else is after.”

And this time, he’s the one that has to bury his head into you, to steady himself, to comfort himself. Trying to grapple with how full this moment is, and how empty he’ll be after.

Ours. And then, abruptly, just his. But he knows, with certainty, he’ll give you anything you want. Pour his whole future into this moment so that you can carry into your own separate future. A parting gift.

“Okay,” he exhales, “How do you want me?”

You readjust your legs, straddling his lap, then lean in to press your lips to his. You kiss him slowly, tenderly, and he reciprocates, supple in your hands. Letting you take him as you want, anything you want.

“Just like this,” you say. He cups your face, nodding.

And then you reach for his belt, and he watches as you undo the buckle, unbutton his pants. He can’t believe it’s happening, wonders if it’s a hallucination – until you reach inside, gently grabbing his already hard length, tip weeping, and he feels how sensitive he is to your touch. He’s worried about how long he can last, if he’ll do a good enough job, that this will be a lousy gift, a lifelong disappointment to remember him by. This is, after all, his first time too.

You reposition yourself and move down slowly, his tip just brushing against your folds. They’re wet, swollen. He’s already fighting to keep his orgasm down.

And then you begin to sink down on his length, and he sees the way you bite your lip, your eyebrows knit together.

“Hey,” he says, lifting your chin so your eyes meet him, “What’s wrong?”

“Hurts…” you admit. He feels a flutter of panic – the last thing he wants is to hurt you more.

“Are you sure you want this?” he asks, rubbing circles into your cheek, “We can stop, whenever, if it’s too much.”

“No, I want this. I’m sure, ” you confirm.

“Okay,” he says, moving his other hand to cup your face, “Take all the time you need then.”

So you do. It’s a slow process, full of fits and starts, as you ease down his length. The whole time he kisses you, can’t step telling you how good you are, how well you’re taking him, how you’re almost there. And then when you finally reach the bottom, he leans in, kissing you hard, his hands gripping your waist, then moving down to your hips.

And then you start to move. It’s sloppy at first, but you find a rhythm quickly. His dick only grows harder inside you as he watches you bounce in his lap, something he never thought he’d see, never even dared to picture in his most secret fantasies. He thinks he could never feel better, and then you start to speak –

“Feel so full, Lix.”

“You fit so perfect inside, me.

“So good, making me feel so good.”

They’re the best words he’s ever heard, and he never wants you to stop, wants to store as many inside him as he can for the long winters ahead, so he begs:

“Please, let me hear you. Want to hear you, please.”

So you let him, brushing his hair from his forehead as you say how pretty he is, how wet he’s making you, how much you love riding him. He’s dizzy and throbbing and oh –

His hands are on your waist, stopping your motion, and you whine in protest.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” he says, his eyes glued shut, “I was going to cum. You feel too good, I’m too excited, I’m sorry. And I can’t…not inside, not when – ”

You’re about to be engaged to someone else. Leaving tomorrow. He can give you anything but this.

You wince at the reminder, but then nod slowly. You ease yourself off him, and his cock slaps back against his stomach, red and rigid, wet with his arousal and yours. His eyes are still screwed shut, on the very edge of release. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

“Can I touch you?” you ask gently. Felix nods. You place both of your hands on his cheeks.

“You still want to cum?” He nods again.

And then he feels one of your hands lace with his, the other wrapped around his cock. One, two pumps is all it takes, and he’s spilling all over himself. He knows he should feel embarrassed, exposed, but it just feels natural to have you be the first to see him come undone. Just another first in the long line of firsts that you’ve shared with him.

When he opens his eyes you are on your knees in front of him, gently wiping his release from his stomach, his softened cock. It feels good to have you tend to him like this – it feels familiar, just like when he was sick, or hurt. This is just a natural evolution, now that you’re grown. When you are done, he holds out his arms, beckoning you back to him.

And so you settle against his chest again, curling up in his arms. He checks on you again, asking if you are okay as he rubs your back.

But this time you pause before shaking your head, drawing one shuttering breath, burying your face in his shirt. He starts to panic – did he do something? Hurt you? Were you regretting this?

“Hey,” he says, “What’s wrong?”

You take another long, broken breath.

“Miss you already,” you say, “Don’t want to go, don’t want you to go, I…”

“It’s okay,” he coos, “I got you, I’m here now. I can stay for a little. We have time.”

He knows this is only partly true – your mother could change her mind at any moment, tell Changbin. But Felix will do anything to soothe you, to help your transition back to reality, even if that requires him to spin you a fantasy for a few minutes.

“I’m not ready,” you say, shaking your head against his shoulder, grasping at his shirt, “Thought I would be ready, been trying to get ready for this for years, for how hard this would be. Tried to stay away when you came back, focus on Changbin, my family, my future. Tried to want him. But I’m not ready to leave you and I don’t know what to do…”

You start to ramble, finally pouring your whole self into him, each of your thoughts immediately becoming his. Exactly what he has desperately wanted, but every one of your words hurts. And one more than all the others.

“Years?” Felix asks.

You nod your head against his chest.

“Why didn’t you talk to me about it?”,he asks, lifting your face to his. It’s not accusatory, just sad, echoing with the hollowness of missed opportunity, of time already passed.

“Didn’t want you to be thinking about it too. Didn’t want you worrying if you didn’t realize the full reality yet. I just wanted you to move on, forget about me, start a new life with Dahyun…”

His heart drops as he realizes – you had been nursing this alone, been scared alone, to protect him. Manufacturing the illusion of time for him to play in, a dark deal to extend his childhood. Paying for his joy with your own loneliness and exhaustion. And he knows, then, that it’s his turn to be honest with you – of all the things he has collected for you only over the last couple of months, there is only one thing, simple, at the core of everything.

“I couldn’t,” he admits, “I wasn’t ready either. I tried, but I couldn’t imagine a life with her. Because she wasn’t you.”

You look up, eyes wide, fixing your gaze to his, as the truth settles on your shoulders – you have always been on the same page.

And then two sentences emerge from where they had always been lurking in the shadows of Felix’s mind, placing themselves precariously on the stack of every other word you have ever exchanged. He chokes on them – he has never tried to say anything this heavy.

Please don’t marry him. Marry me.

Caught, they already sting his throat, his mouth – he knows they will always be branded on his tongue, regardless of your answer. He has to say them before they burn through the muscle, silencing him, leaving those words forever unspoken.

But he hesitates, and in the that wasted moment, your eyes catch behind him. He turns to see what you’re looking at – the garden, overrun with weeds, the flowers dying. A thought forms, and then, as is natural between you, it is tumbling out of your mouth:

“We should water the garden more often, until it recovers.”

When you turn back towards him he is beaming, and you beam back.

You know his question. He knows your answer.

~~~

Photo by Zach Plank on Unsplash

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causeilikelix · 4 months

Note

always thinking abt thigh riding with (dom)felix 😭 like his deep ass voice saying degrading and teasing things omg 🧎‍♀️

UGHH yes please I need. He's got such great thighs dlsfkjsdljk

Like it would probably start off innocently enough. He's a sweetheart, as we all know, but that's definitely NOT what he's like when he gets horny.

SMUT under the cut. Minors DNI!

WARNINGS: Hard!Dom Felix (I think?), afab reader, thigh riding, one ass slap, name calling (slut, princess, baby, things of that nature), dacryphilia (?), orgasm denial (?), teeny bit over overstimulation, actions take place in a public place but no one gets caught

Like, maybe you came to visit him at the studio one night because he's practicing late. He's got a concert coming up and he has to practice his solo stage! But he works so hard.

You'd bring him coffee and a snack and you'd just stare at him while he ate. He's all sweaty and his hair is sticking to his face and it's just... so hot (I'm a Black Hair Felix supremacist so that's what I'm imaging lol)

Before you know it, you're crawling over to him and capturing his lips in a kiss. You don't even care that he tastes like coffee and sweat. He grunts into the kiss but kisses you back before you know it.

"Missed me much?" Felix chuckles

"So much." you press warm kisses down his neck.

"Why don't you show me then?" Felix's deep, tired voice made you throb.

You crawl into his lap and he spreads his legs to accommodate you. Your knees on either side of his slim waist, his hands on your ass, the heavy breathing while you make out. It's not long before you're grinding down on his clothed cock.

He shouldn't be so surprised that you want him, he's basically wearing lingerie. Gray sweatpants and a black t-shirt. Fuck, you want to stain them so that he's reminded of you every time he looks at them for the rest of the night.

"Get on my thigh, princess," Felix commands as if he can hear your thoughts. You follow his wishes and straddle one of his thighs. He pushes your skirt up and tsks at you. "You didn't come here just to bring me food, did you? What kind of slut wears this sorry excuse for underwear to the studio?"

Felix tugs at the flimsy thong that does almost nothing to cover you. you moan when the elastic snaps against your skin.

"Ride my thigh, princess. Prove that your slutty hole deserves my cock." Felix grips your hips and shoves your core onto his thigh.

You start moving instantly. The fabric of his sweatpants creates a warm friction that shoots up into your core. You moan as you work your core along his thigh. He grips your hips tightly and leans his head back to watch you lose yourself.

"Fuck, baby, this must have been what you wanted the whole time. Can't go a single night without thinking about my cock in you?" Felix chides. You shake your head, barely able to form a coherent thought. Pleasure sparks through your body with every grind. Your core clenches around nothing.

You whine and work yourself harder against him.

"There's absolutely nothing in your little brain right now except wanting to cum. You must want my cock that badly, huh?" Felix muses. His eyes are dark and hooded as he watches you shake above him.

"Want your cock!" you cry, burying your face in his neck as you get closer and closer to your high.

"Make yourself cum on my thigh first, princess, then maybe I'll consider giving your slutty hole what it wants, yeah? Gotta make sure my cocksleeve is wet enough to take me." Felix rasps in your ear. He palms himself through his sweats in order to get a little more worked up.

"W-wet enough! Want your cock now!" You beg wetly against his ear, pressing kisses on his favorite spot to try and entice him.

"You sure are soaking through my sweatpants, babe," Felix chuckles darkly, "Maybe I should make you stop. Keep you empty and desperate while I practice a little more."

"No!" Tears pricked at your eyes at the thought of stopping. You worked yourself harder against him to urge your high to come quicker. "Please! Need you, baby, need to cum for you."

"Need me? Desperate slut." Felix landed a stinging slap to your ass. He rubbed his palm over the red mark soothingly. "Should I make you stop? Dance a little more and watch you touch yourself? Do you think you could cum without me?"

"No! No I can't cum without you." You sobbed into his neck. He gripped your hips to work you against him harder. "Wanna come for you, just you! Want you to fill my holes all the time."

"That's right, princess, you can only cum with my help. Your little brain is just waiting for me to tell you to cum, that's why you can't now." Felix chides.

It's true. You can taste your orgasm in the back of your throat. Your stomach senses it approaching. Your thighs shudder with anticipation. But you can't fall over the edge. There's something holding you back.

"Please, please can I cum!"

"Fine. Cum on my thigh, princess, make a mess."

That's all it takes. Your thighs clamp around his and you let out a keening moan. Felix forces you to keep grinding on his thigh despite the bite of overstimulation. Your high washes over your body, making you shake in Felix's hold.

After a few minutes, your high wanes and you slump against his chest. Your breath heaves as you try to get some much needed oxygen from your pussy to your brain. Felix gently rubs your back and pulls your skirt back down to offer you some decency. He presses soft kisses on your cheek and neck wherever he can reach.

"Feel better?"

"Still want your cock," you mumble into his neck.

"Yeah? Then ride me, baby."

#felix smut #lee felix smut #yongbok smut #lee yongbok smut #felix lee smut #skz smut #stray kids smut #smut #kpop smut #an ask!#ellie writes #ugh i need him

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feelylix · 2 years

Text

some kind of a sleepover

member: felix x fem!reader rating: explicit word count: 4.6k warnings: unprotected sex featuring: one shot, idol!felix, switch!felix, mostly dom!felix, shy!felix, friends to lovers, “good boy,” praise, leo back at it again with the hand kink, dirty talk, tiddy sucking uwu, vaginal fingering, brief blowjob, mutual masturbation, finger sucking, oral (receiving), ass slapping, doggystyle, choking, body worship, rough sex, fluff near the end

synopsis: after a long day, your long time friend + crush felix dozes off on the car ride home, which leads to the two of you having a so-called sleepover at your apartment.

✧ read on ao3 here!

A/N: please wear condoms ppl!!!

While watching him brazenly, he closes his eyes and runs a hand through his hair, free hand locked around his iced coffee. The freshly trimmed black hair sits neatly around his face, unstyled but well-kept. His nose nudged against the matte black mask, you can’t help but appreciate the way his upper lashes fan out as they hit his face when his eyes are closed. Sitting comfortably in a black hoodie and black skinny jeans, he opens his eyes, gaze settling on his drink.

Felix takes a swig of his coffee, taking in the ambience of the cafe, oblivious to you gawking at him. He swallows quickly before saying, “Uh oh.”

“What?” you wonder, head swiveling to pin down what he’s pointing to with his line of sight. A teenage girl with a SKZOO keychain on her bag standing in line. Felix’s SKZOO, BbokAri, to make matters worse.

Since you know Felix, you figure it’s not that he doesn’t enjoy interacting with fans, but just that he doesn’t want to interact with them every time he’s out. Head parallel to the floor, he’s rushing to gather up his things and you follow suit. It’s almost 9 PM — you decide to help him out a bit, knowing today was a particularly long day for him.

“Here, put these on,” you tap his arm and thumb through your bag, pulling out a pair of black shades.

Felix’s eyebrow lifts but he doesn’t question you, taking the sunglasses and sliding them on. “They look alright?”

“Yeah, you look hot,” you say as dryly as possible, rolling your eyes in what you hope is a convincing jest, “Can we go now?”

The two of you rise from your chairs, their wooden feet making unpleasant screeches as they drag across the hardwood floor, and make a beeline for the door. “Lead the way, bodyguard.” he faintly chuckles, arm sticking out as a gesture for you to step in front of him. You try not to roll your eyes again, suppressing a smile.

On the car ride home, the sun begins to descend, and you turn down the radio as to not wake Felix, whose head droops against the window, fingers curled around your sunglasses in his lap. It doesn’t feel good to remove the key from the ignition and rattle the sleeping angel awake, but you have to. Felix’s eyes flutter open, and he lifts his head, silently unbuckling himself. The way up to your apartment was quiet, too. You fish through your bag once again, pulling out the keys when there’s a thump against your back. Felix rests his head against you, pulling focus from the task at hand. Motionless, you shake yourself from the current moment and hurriedly open your apartment door. Luckily, you won’t have to disturb Felix this time as he hoists his head up, removing the pressure from your upper back, following you in.

You explain you can take the couch tonight, and you get little objection from Felix, who protests, but can barely keep his eyes open. Having shut down his opposition very quickly, you lead him to your bedroom. A new toothbrush is brought to him, and seeing as tonight’s sleepover is impromptu, you even offer the use of your toiletries. He thanks you and heads to wash up in the sink of the connected bathroom, and you do the same, finding more toiletries in the other bathroom across the apartment.

Once you’re settled, you head back to your bedroom to locate a suitable outfit consisting of a big t-shirt and pajama pants, aware that given the company, your usual sleep getup of an undershirt and nothing else would be unseemly. After ping-ponging between your room and the spare bathroom, you make way for your bed to check on Felix before calling it a night.

Felix lies back on the bed — your bed — legs tucked under the sheets, still in his day clothes, scrolling on his phone. The phone lowers, and he peeps at you for a brief moment before speaking, “Can you search under the bed?”

You let out a snort, “Er…for monsters?”

“For fangirls,” he himself laughs and shrugs, “you never know.”

You position yourself to inspect underneath the bed frame, catching sight of some dust bunnies and forgotten hair bands. Making a mental note to do some cleaning in the coming weekend, you say, “Nothing under here. And nobody.” Felix lets out a dramatic sigh of relief, chuckling, before you march to the door. You turn to see him sitting on the bed cross-legged, watching you.

“Well, goodnight.” you bid him, turning on your heel and reaching for the doorknob.

“Wait,” the sheets shift behind you, “there’s something else I need you to search.”

You sigh, beginning to feel a bit exasperated, and spin around to face him, just wanting to go to bed, “What?”

His fingers find your hand, his brown eyes watching you closely. Gripping it, his fingers begin guide your palm downwards, before hesitating, and then ceasing completely. Felix’s head drops and he sighs softly.

You gape at him, bewildered, “What?”

“I was going t-...” he’s now holding onto your hand with both of his, pads of his fingers dancing nervous circles around your knuckles.

Still completely perplexed, you decide to mimic him, searching for an answer to his odd behavior, your head falling in broken, awkward increments, as if being hand-cranked.

You can’t miss the tent in his pants. Jesus Christ. Well that woke you up.

“It’s okay,” you say at once, pushing your hand down; all the while his grip isn’t loosening.

Upon contact, the fabric of his jeans crater around fingertips, and catch under your nails. Head unwaveringly lowered, Felix is cowering like a baby animal under your attention. Your heart flutters, taking in the sight of your friend at your mercy, the desire to be taken by him and take him yourself coinciding. What as Felix unleashed? The tips of your fingers press around the bulge, and Felix lets out a puff of air. Taking this as a good sign, you press your entire palm to his clothed cock. In response, Felix sighs and finally loosens his grip on your hand, his fingers finding your free hand. His digits slide down yours, and you hold them as if carrying birdseed for a starving stray bird.

You find yourself leaning into him, both heads gliding past each other as your lips halt, hovering over his neck. Felix curves his head to the side, silent, still, as your palm presses harder into him. Gently, you press your lips into his supple skin, his hot breathing in your ear. He says your name softly, voice the color of a deep red wine. Fingertips dancing their way to his waistband, you find the button and zipper. “Is this okay?”

“Fuck, yes.” he lets out a fraction of a chuckle, the cool air hitting your earlobe. After undoing the zipper, you take two fists full of his jeans, gently pushing them down. Felix steps his way out of them, shaking them off the ankle they’re caught on.

You catch a glimpse of his plum-colored boxers, before the tip of your finger finds its way to his chin, lifting his face upwards, forcing him to look you in the eyes. “You’re so beautiful,” you tell him, watching the light in his eyes brighten and a smile paint its way across his lips. You inspect his pointed cupid’s bow, admire the shape of his bottom lip, drink in their dusty rose color. Before you can appreciate him any further, his mouth is on yours. His tongue swiftly snakes its way past your lips, and the contrast of his searing hot spit in comparison to his bashful demeanor hits you like a freight train; sends a shiver through you from head to toe. Unable to hold yourself back anymore, your arms wrap around his neck, and he moans into you, hands finding your waist.

Felix parts himself from you, hot breath hitting the tip of your nose, gaze flickering to your shirt, “Can I take this off?”

A simple “yes” is all you can say, and his hands grip either side of your oversized shirt, lifting it over you more gently than expected. When he leans back slightly to marvel at you, you’re reminded that you have no bra on. “Even better than I pictured,” you can see his chest rising and falling rather quickly, the gust of his shallow breaths not even reaching your bare skin. The thought of Felix imagining what you look like naked sends heat to your cheeks, and your nipples harden. You had imagined what he looks like, too, and the realization that you would soon find out makes your stomach do backflips.

“I can show you more,” you say, and in response, he closes the gap between the two of you, reaching for the waistband of your pajama pants before you catch both his hands with yours. “I didn’t say when.”

Wide eyed, he stares at you with an unreadable expression on his face, seconds of silence passing. “So,” Felix’s intense gaze searches all over your face, “tell me what to do.”

Raising an eyebrow, a smile plays at your lips, “Beg.” There’s something on the tip of your tongue that you’ve been keeping under your belt — something in the cards you’ve been holding for a while. Leaning closer to him, your eyes settle on his delicious lips that hang open, exhaling hot, heavy air. You decide to show your hand. “Be a good boy and beg.”

His lids slam shut, lips press together. This flagrant attempt to keep his composure nearly has you begging for him. “Fuck,” he sighs.

Just as you suspected, he’s playing into your hand.

A soft gasp leaves his lips as he speaks your name, startling himself. Almost instantly, blush blooms across his cheeks. “Please let me see you.”

Not good enough. “Try again, sweetheart,” your fingers push his black hair out of his eyes before tracing the sides of his face. As your fingers withdraw from him, he watches them in desire, and for a second you think he may cry from the absence of your touch. In a blink, his demeanor changes. He’s hungry. For everything. Anything. Felix steps closer to you, pinning you down with a dark look that nearly has you in shambles.

If eyes could fuck.

“Please. Let me see your tight pussy.” he almost snarls.

Your heart skips a beat; he’d never hurt you and yet you feel somewhat fearful. The influence he currently has over you is alarming; it makes you want to surrender. Don’t crack, you tell yourself. Ignoring his occasional ravenous glance at your kissless lips, you swallow a lump in your throat and harden your stare. “Take them off for me.”

Right away, he’s kneeling on the carpet of your bedroom floor in his boxers, hands perched atop the cotton of your pajamas, antsy fingers wiggling over the waistband of your underwear before he glares back up at you.

Like he’s angry you have this much control over him. That you didn’t come to check on him sooner. That he isn’t already fucking you. Maybe all of the above.

Understanding that he’s looking for permission, you nod, watching him peel them off of you. In the midst of the few seconds, you’re standing completely naked in front of your friend, who is lasciviously drinking in the sight of your bare thighs. He clasps one hand over the other, placing the knotted hands in his lap. Felix looks back up at you, eyes wide and pure, as if they are untouched by what is unfolding in front of them — he’s waiting for his next instructions.

You reach your hand down to caress the side of his face again as he watches you, still — all the while wondering if he can tell you’re barely keeping it together. “Good boy,” you tell him, reaching up to pet his hair. Felix’s icy facade cracks before your very eyes, unable to suppress the tight-lipped smile, bashfully looking down in hopes of erasing what you’ve already seen. “You like it when I tell you you’re a good boy?”

“Yes,” he laughs softly, embarrassed he wasn’t able to keep up the act longer.

Figuring you can push the envelope just a little further, you narrow your eyes at him, a mischievous grin playing at your lips, “Say thank you.”

Pressing his forehead to your thigh, he mumbles an obedient reply, “Thank you.”

“Such a quick learner.” you pat his head again, black hair slipping its way through your fingers, smooth as silk.

“How do you want me?” he asks, pressing a lingering kiss to your thigh.

“Like this.” you seductively hook a leg over his shoulder, watching his eyes darken as he takes in the image of your cunt. With your hand still in his hair, you take a fistful of it and slowly guide him to your core. His mouth drops open immediately, tongue sticking out, eyes still glued to your pussy. At first touch, Felix moans deeply into your folds, eliciting a whine from you. Gripping his hair tightly, your gaze falls to him, watching in admiration as his tongue licks and snips across your wet cunt.

“Good boy.” you exhale. Cheeks rosy and eyes closed, Felix growls into you, eyebrow lifting when your other hand comes up to grab another fistful of his hair. After his lips move to your clit, you cry out for him. His eyes flutter open, looking up at you innocently, not even flinching when you begin moving back and forth against him. His tongue moves back to your open cunt, his hand taking its place on your clit, middle finger rubbing ardent circles. You ride his tongue forcefully, trusting that he can take the roughness. Seconds away from cumming, he doesn’t let up the pace, and neither do you, a bead of sweat forming on your brow. The pressure in your abdomen escalates, another whimper leaving your lips before your lids clench shut, Felix slurping up your juices while you burst from every seam.

You’re left panting, head thrown back while Felix’s tongue slows down, still consuming what remains, like a cat whose head buried is in its food dish — licking up every last bit. Swallowing the lump forming in your throat, at last you look down to see Felix. He pulls away from you, leaving a line of what looks like saliva still connecting his mouth to you before it breaks and dribbles down his chin.

You swipe two fingers across his chin, as he watches the motion, gathering up the remnants and pushing it into his mouth, “What will your reward be?”

Felix takes your fingers without hesitation, and sucks the digits dry, tongue circling them while his eyes narrow, piercing through yours. Withdrawing your fingers from his mouth, you take one suck of them yourself, just to put on a show. He swallows audibly, before tilting his head to the side and fixing his eyes on the ceiling. “Mmm...” He’s so cute. “Can I touch you?”

This answer leaves you blinking, astonished. You plop yourself onto your bed, catching the black of the night through your half-open shutters. Felix follows suit, sitting next to you, two sets of knees slightly turned towards the other’s. “You don’t want to...?”

“No, no, no, I do,” right away he says, shaking his head, hand nervously massaging the other one sat in his lap, “Eventually. Really. I just... I have an oral fixation at the moment.” his gaze falls to your tits. Oh.

As if his eyes penetrate your chest, your heart beats hard against your chest. Fiercely, you grip his hands, placing one on your tits. Felix’s unrelenting desire to pleasure you is sending you over the edge, and you can already feel your cunt aching for more of him. You lift his other hand, empty and waiting, to your mouth. Intuitively, he folds his pinky and ring fingers, and you guide the remaining digits past your lips. You bring your feet up to the bed, readjusting as gracefully as you can so that you’re kneeling. He watches you, mouth open, breathing heavy. Gathering up all your spit, you deposit it on his fingers, withdrawing his hand and leading it to the empty space between your knees.

Steady fingers waiting, you slide yourself over him, throwing your head back and shutting your eyes, whining. With little time to process this sensation, his fingertips begin to trace circles around your nipple, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. Next, scorching hot kitten licks on the other. Felix is lost in focus when you look down at him; eyes and mouth closed around your nipple, eyebrows pulled down, wordlessly pleading for more. While he enthusiastically sucks, squeezes, and licks, you think it can’t get any better just before his fingers begin pistoning in and out of your cunt. In no time, you’re cumming again, Felix’s index and middle fingers unflinchingly fucking you through your high.

After your high, you’re slumped against him, open mouth panting and moaning against his ear. “Holy shit, Felix.”

“That was incredibly hot.” he chuckles, breath hitting the nape of your neck. He withdraws his hand from you, and you can only hear him sucking on his fingers, loudly enjoying the taste, “And delicious.”

You laugh into his neck, and you two just stay there a while. Breathing. Listening to the sounds of the air conditioning and trailing your fingernails up and down the sheets. You lift your head from the warm crook of his neck, silent for a moment as you both stare at each other before Felix brings his hand to the back of your head and pulls you in for another wistful kiss. His lips trail from the corner of your mouth to the side of your neck. “I can’t take it anymore,” he whispers between kisses, “I need you on my cock.”

“Which part of me?” you moan when his tongue flattens against the base of your ear.

His fingers snake their way up to your face from your hips, two digits lightly pressing against your lips. He tears his tongue from you and tilts his head, gaze locked on you. “I’ve been wondering if these lips would like something in them, as well.”

You try to hide your desperation after your hands come up to settle on his boxers almost immediately after he says this. Either more horny than you, or less interested in humiliating you, Felix takes no notice of this rash action. “I’ve been good, haven’t I?” he invites, playful eyes twinkling.

You’re not even looking at him anymore, you’re just staring at his hard, clothed cock, boxers in your grasp, wishing they were already off. “Yes,” you say robotically, paying him little mind.

He chuckles, slowly removing both your hands with his before standing up. Fully aware you’re giving his cock your undivided attention, his fists ball up at his sides, gripping the fabric, and yank the clothing downwards.

Blinking slowly, you absorb the view of his light brown cock, erect at his abdomen. Moments pass as you just ogle at it; Felix heaves his shirt off over his head, fabric flattening when it hits the carpet. Catching a glimpse at his defined abs sends your eyes trailing all over his body. He stands there, arms suspended at his side as you admire them, until one of his hands reaches for his cock. He sighs when his hand wraps itself around his shaft, looking downwards; and for a moment you see the shy, foolish, baby animal you made out of him earlier.

He ever-so-slightly lifts his head, and you meet his gaze. The reality of this all hits you finally, making your heartbeat quicken. Delicately, your hands find your tits, and they slowly pinch and squeeze them, as both of you watch one another. Felix’s hand is picking up speed, pulling on his fat cock as his desperation peaks. Mindlessly, you find yourself lowering yourself to the floor, coming to kneel on the carpet, hand reaching for his dick. He throws his head back, pulling his own hand away from himself. After you grab a hold of him, licking one long stripe from base to tip, he jerks away from you, dodging the next lick. “Fuck this,” he huffs.

Both of Felix’s hands grip your shoulders, pulling you from the floor, and then pushing you with near absurd force onto the bed. Your calves hit the edge of it, scattering all your wits as Felix places a hand on either side of your dangling calves, crouching, lightly biting his lower lip, eyes drilling holes into yours. Crab-walking your way backwards on the mattress, he follows after you, like a frightening wild animal sizing up its prey, a predator on the hunt.

Amused, the horniness has turned off all your modesty, coming through strong and clear. “Are you going to fuck me now?”

He nods slowly, his eyes still fixed on your own, burning holes through you — through your resolve, “Until you can’t think straight.” Felix presses his lips once more to yours, running the tip of his cock through your soaked folds.

“Look at me,” you command him between the kisses, content when he obeys. His nose brushes against yours before he backs away a few inches, glancing at his cock before pushing the head in slowly. His eyebrows pull together, a lewd moan escaping from his lips. He cries out like an arrow’s been shot through him. You, you are the arrow. Your hands come up to cradle both sides of his face, placing a quick, encouraging kiss on his lips.

You, too, cry out when he suddenly thrusts his entire cock into you. Your cunt stretches to accommodate all of him, shocked someone of his size could have a cock this thick. Hovering over you, he watches in awe; you can feel his piercing gaze even with both eyes closed. Once your breathing calms, he places both hands spread apart in the space above your head. Propping himself up, he jerks into you messily, uncontrolled groans leaving his throat. Over time his thrusts become more composed, as your outstretched hands tightly grip the skin on his ass.

A series of cusses leave his lips, and you can’t help but notice how he’s slowing down, the redness in his face blossoming with each passing second. “Take me from behind,” you say, grip on his ass loosening. Felix nods quickly, trying to regain his breath before he comes to a kneel. Swiftly, you turn over, making it to your hands and knees in record time. When his dick slips inside you again, a slap on your ass accompanies it, a strained moan leaping from your throat beneath your widened eyes.

“All those times you thought,” he huffs, powering through each thrust, “I couldn’t tell you were looking at me,” a hand creeping up your skin to settle on your lower back, palm pressing on the swell of your asscheek. “I knew.” This confession elicits a weak moan from you, the sounds of skin slapping together nearly drowning it out. Felix’s finger trails up your spine, coming to a halt between your shoulder blades. Through this adjustment, you notice his pace slows. Pushing yourself up from the mattress with both hands, you come to a kneel, his hand still attached to you. The same hand snakes around your side, giving your tit a firm squeeze before wrapping around your throat. You had plans to gather up your hair so he could hold it while in doggystyle, but this was much better.

Felix kisses your shoulder, hot breath on your neck, “You like it when I choke you?”

Your eyes roll back just as he begins leisurely thrusting again, “God, yes.”

His fingertips press against the sides of your throat, “You’re so lovely, like an angel.” He kisses just below your earlobe, “And the perfect fit for my cock.” He alternates between squeezing and releasing pressure from the sides of your throat. Pulse throbbing around the cage of his palm, you think about what it must look like from his point of view, his cock disappearing below your ass, pressing into his pelvis with every thrust.

“Felix,” you whine, enjoying the picture in your head, your pussy involuntarily clenching around him.

“You’re gonna make me cum so hard.” he groans in that tantalizing, rich, deep voice of his, before taking the tip of your ear in his mouth and sucking it gently.

These words make you cum instantly, almost ashamed that that was all it took — a few of words — but hoping that it’d be enough to send him over the edge soon. You cry out, repeating Felix’s name like it’s the only word you learned, the only word you need, until you’re out of breath. Too wrapped up in your trance, you barely register when Felix takes both of your hands and places them behind your back, grasping your wrists tightly. Your lips fall open in an “Ah,” and you continue singing this vowel, voice bouncing up and down like you’re driving over a million speed bumps while he thrusts into you vigorously.

You’re fucked out and tired, still recovering from your orgasm, mumbling something to him about being on the pill, willing to let him finish inside of you. And that’s what he does. Felix cries out loudly, pouring his hot cum into you. His muscles stiffen against you, and gradually, he loosens his grip on your wrists. Slowly folding over, you examine the angry red tiger stripes on your wrists, fading away too quickly for your liking. Collapsed against the mattress on all fours, Felix presses a kiss to the middle of your back.

“Wanna lean back?” he mumbles into your skin. An exasperated “okay” is all you can manage.

Back leaning into him, you follow his lead as he sits back, spreading his legs, supported by the headboard of your bed. His thumbs rub gentle strokes on the sides of your thighs as you settle, your back propped against his chest. On your shoulder rests his chin, and you can feel the soft skin of his throat contracting against you as he breathes. With the last of your energy, you bend to tug the sheets upwards, sighing in relief when they cover you from the chilly breeze of the air conditioning. Licking your lips, you close your eyes, imagining the roof of your bedroom gone while the two of you bask in the starlight.

“You’re so perfect.” he kisses your shoulder. You lift your palms at your side, fingers spread, and he follows suit, hands hovering underneath before pressing his open palms against yours. Curling his fingers around yours, you turn to your side, eyeing him in your peripheral. He presses another kiss to your shoulder.

“So what now?” you ask, voice almost a whisper.

“We sleep.” Felix replies, digits unraveling from yours, opting to wrap his arms around your midsection instead. Your fingers slide to his legs and rub gentle stripes.

Scared — the word pops into your head. But drained of energy, you’re unable to fight or challenge the word. “I’m tired but I don’t wanna sleep,” you murmur, “What if this was all a dream?”

Felix takes a second to think about this, head turning to gaze out the window before he nuzzles himself into your neck, “I’ll be here when you wake up.” Your eyes drift shut. “I promise.”

And when you wake the next morning, he is.

#felix #felix smut #stray kids #stray kids smut #skz #felix lee smut #lee felix smut #lee felix #skz smut #leo wrote this

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