#fcking fck i made myself cry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aenniesryu · 3 years

Text

tsukikage middle school exes

tsukishima kei and kageyama tobio. both in their first year of high school and are also teammates since they played in the same vb team for their school

ofc everyone is well aware of the fact that these two kind of hated each other. not that it was an obvious fact to begin with since ever from the beginning the two would constantly bicker and throwing insults at one another

however, that was it. that was the only thing everyone knows about the two. the team even had to separate the two of them when things escalated quickly just to make sure none of them will started to throw fits

no one knows the actual reason as to why they would bicker every so often. the team just thought that the two have so different perceptions towards volleyball that makes them so hard to get along with

the team did tried to help them to get along but it just ended up with them constantly at each others throat arguing about whatever it is

what the team actually didnt know is that tsukishima and kageyama once dated back then in their middle school days.

so basically the entire thing going on between those two were just them being salty because of 1) the break up and also 2) their mindset when it comes to volleyball

tsukishima and kageyama once dated before despite them not attending the same school

but, both were living in the same neighbourhood and their houses were basically next to each other making it easier for them to constantly see each other

however, that was a year ago before kageyama's family decided to move to another neighbourhood

no, the break up was not because of them moving because they would still see each other if they put more efforts in it

the break up on the other hand was because of this one major thing. it was a silly reason but nevertheless it was the thing that made them broke up and that thing is volleyball

yes, volleyball. even tho both were playing for their respective teams back in middle school, their perspective when it comes to volleyball differs too much.

kageyama being the volleyball freak he is would just spent most of his times practicing his serve. even on the weekends. tsukishima, however didnt really took it seriously when it comes to volleyball ever since it was just a club anyway, right?

with kageyama spending more and more time with his practice, tsukishima was left alone. they barely even get to meet each other because of them being in different schools and then kageyama's free time was now full with volleyball alone

tsukishima might felt a lil bit jealous since kageyama, his boyfriend at that time would constantly talked about oikawa. it's always oikawa this and oikawa that. he knows kageyama only meant no harm and hes just looking up onto his senior who plays really well.

tsukishima was fine with that. yeah, he really does because never once did he ever tell kageyama to shut up whenever he talks about oikawa.

what was not fine was that kageyama spent the only free time they had on volleyball. it was the only time that they would be able to hang out and go outside but suddenly it stopped. no more seeing each other, no more dates and no more talking to each other

yes, kageyama did tell him over and over again that he feels sorry and that he just needs to prepare himself to be the best for their team

tsukishima did understand him but as time passed by, tsukishima became selfish. well that's what he thought. hes tired of waiting. he shouldn't be blamed when all he wanted was for his boyfriend attention

then 2 months before the very important match for kageyama, tsukishima went and break things off. and just like that they are no longer boyfriends or friends

kageyama moving to another neighbourhood just make things a lil bit easier since they wont be seeing each other anymore after the break up

"What the fck was that kageyama?" Tsukishima is now in rage with his once called boyfriend. They were in the middle of a practice match where they were divided into two different teams and just to make them work along together and maybe become friends, coach ukai and daichi thought it would be the best to put them into the same group. Oh how wrong they were because now they are fight again.

"I just did what's the best for the team. All you need to do is jump a lil bit higher than usual for that toss. you are already tall enough, make sure of it for once" kageyama was surprisingly calm when he said that but only god knows how scared he felt whenever tsukishima raised his voice at him because he got irritated. it wasnt a pleasant sight to see and get into especially when tsukishima is dmn mad. like the situation they are in now.

"yes my height alone is enough and that is why, you as the setter should take in mind that I would perfectly score if you just tossed me the ball right at where my hand can reach. making me go through all the hard work just to reach that fcking ball you threw is just wasting my energy" tsukishima is really not having it. not only did kageyama sent him a high ball, hes also pissed that kageyama made him wasted his energy in jumping higher than he normally do.

"excuse me? I'm just doing what's the best for the team. I'm taking out that fcking capability that you have in you that you decides to freaking hide and toss it away, just because you think putting an effort even the slightest of it into the match is a waste of your time" now kageyama started to boiled up. he knows that tsukishima has a lot of talent when it comes to volleyball, he knows that really well. perks of being his boyfriend throughout their middle school years. well honestly kageyama thinks tsukishima is just wasting his talent with his kind of mindset.

everyone at the gym are just staring and listening to them arguing. daichi was closed to tear them apart and continue with the practice match, but before he can do that sugawara stop him. daichi was not having it but sugawara had something else in mind. he thinks that maybe them arguing this time would make the rest of the team to get a grip on what making them argue in the first place. and maybe the truth would unfold without them needing to ask tsukishima and kageyama. coach ukai seems to have the same thoughts too since he make no moves in stopping them. so the team just understands and silently look at them and wait for more.

"I dont get your obsession with drawing the team's talent or whatsoever because you ended up getting more demanding. I thought you were a setter. didnt setter usually can already feel his teammates thoughts? im here just doing what I have to do during practice and waiting for it to end like it always did but you? you just have to screw up everything. im already tired but you clearly didnt see that! just what kind of a setter who acted like a dictator and yet hes not even the leader of the team? tell me!" tsukishima yelled his frustration out. he wants this to end just so he can go back to his house and do whatever he finds interesting. and basically volleyball is not one of them.

kageyama didnt said anything after that. he felt bad and all the memories from when his old team abandoned him during a play starter clouding his mind. to make it worse he's on the verge of breaking down. his eyes are filled with tears but he held them back. hearing those things from someone you love didnt really felt the greatest.

"what? now you decided to stayed silent? why? just realizing how my words are true and theres no point in denying it? did you ever just sit back and think about how your shitty your attitude is in court? about how tired your teammates felt trying to satisfy you? this is literally the reason why your old teammate decided to abandoned you in the middle of the match. because you are so demanding and it stresses them out more than the actual game is" just when he finished saying what he needed to say, kageyama slap him. when tsukishima turn to see him, kageyama is already crying.

"YOU! out of all people in this world should know how important volleyball is to me. you should've known that theres literally nothing I can do aside from volleyball. you shouldn't have said that if you know what I went through the entire year. and then at the end? what did I get? I get abandoned. not only by my teammates but I was also abandoned by my own family. just to make things even worse, you fcking break up with me at the times when I needed you the most kei. the one person i thought that would always stay by my side. but you didn't even listen to the shit I have to tell you because you completely shut me off. I went through every single thing alone. All by myself. I practice alone, think of the best strategies for my own team on my own because I was pressured AND threatened by the coach, I came back to an empty house and freaking live alone. theres no one I can even call and relied to!! I cant even call the person I love because hes sick of me. all I ever wanted was people to appreciate my efforts even tho it's only in volleyball. I wanted YOU to be proud of me above anything else because I cant reach your level when it comes to academic. I wanted to be perfect for you and all I ever wanted was for people around me to be proud of me for the one thing I'm capable of but all I get is people abandoning me!!"

silence. theres no sound can be heard in the gym aside from kageyama's heavy breathing. everyone is just stunned with the sudden confession. not only did they just heard kageyama's biggest fear but they also heard the part where he mentioned about their break up. tsukishima and kageyama were a thing before? they were dating? since when?"

"tobio-" tsukishima breaks the silence. hes panicking but he didn't know what do to because everything is just too sudden and all he can think of is how shitty of a boyfriend he was during the time that they were dating. thats what his brain has been saying. after all never once did he ever asked how kageyama was feeling. he was indeed selfish and everything is all his fault. if only he stayed-

kageyama seems to snapped back into reality when he heard tsukishima called him by his given name. he panicked. he just spilled everything in front of the team.

"i-im sorry. I should just go home. I'm really sorry you guys have to witness such a pity side of myself" kageyama chuckled and wipe his tears. "coach, i would like to take a break from the team for the time being. again, I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I'll see you guys later" and with that kageyama walked out of the gym ignoring his teammates eyes and the calls.

"what the hell just happened" tanaka said as the argument really is tensed and they literally just heard something that is kept secret between tsukishima and kageyama.

"tsuki, you and kageyama-" yamaguchi said softly as to not add any more anger in tsukishima. after all tsukishima kind of had an anger issue.

"ugh fuck, yes we did." tsukishima sigh. theres really nothing he can do. everyone knows and they probably think its his fault anyways. but the team has the opposite thoughts than him

"I honestly dont know what to say" sugawara said to him. he really wanted to help but it's not in his power to do so. all he can do is give them advice.

"ha, no need. I already know it's my fault. you guys can blame me. I would gladly accept it"

"What? No" were the replies he get from his team members. he was clueless coz after all kageyama wouldnt turn into a tyrant if only he stayed and didnt leave.

"we didnt blame you. both of you were young that time it was just normal for you to feel he loved you less. but you two lack in communication which leads to this whole entire mess. idk what you two went through and how long you've been together, it's not my business. but, all I can say is that you two need some closure. and clearly none of you even moved on from the past. arguing with each other every other day isnt the healthiest way to cope with the break up. just please sort this out with him. hes in pain and so are you." enoshita who has been quite the entire time decided to speak up. he do got a point especially with that lack communication between tsukishima and kageyama. sooner or later he needed to settle this whole mess before it started to drag the entire team. kageyama is the regular player in their team, and even with sugawara who can replace him as a setter, kageyama really is needed in the team. hinata also needed kageyama.

"I know I'm the last person you want to hear this from.. but tsukishima please bring kageyama back to the team. I needed him. the team too. and I think you needed him too. so please, I will do whatever it takes to help get him back into the team" hinata cried out. after all they were the freaky duo. they relied more on one another.

"but didnt kageyama only asked to take a break? it's not like he would just quit" nishinoya chipped in. "indeed he said that, but we are not sure on how long would the break be. it can be days, weeks, months and even years." coach ukai reasoned.

"let's just stop here. you guys can go home now. I will cancel tomorrow's practice so please just take a good rest. We'll continue our practice on the day after that. And you tsukishima" coach ukai added and turn to look at tsukishima with a soft look. It was a rare sight to see but they know it's for the best

"yes?"

"idk what you are planning to do. whether you sort things out and talk to kageyama or you didnt do anything about it is up to you. just clear out your minds whenever you came intl practice. we already less in one member, we didnt need to lose another one"

"thank you coach!"

listen, idek what I'm doing but I'm just gonna post this even tho I know it was bad because honestly when I reread this I felt truly nothing lmao but my friend said it was good/okay idk dont really trust her but hey, the very least I can do is post this here so I can move on(?) welp, enjoy ig.

#haikyuu fic #haikyuu ships #haikyuu #haikyuu angst #tsukikage #tsukishima kei #kageyama tobio

57 notes · View notes

youn9racha · 3 years

Note

Hard hours...? Does that count? ....

Sometimes when I come back come real tired I imagine how great it would be to have a Changbin fck me mercilessly and edge me until I cry and my brain forgets everything that happend on the shtty day. I imagine him making me cum more than he ever made me on any night. I imagine him fcking me so hard I forget who or what I am. I imagine him fcking me so hard that I lose the ability to speak and form any words beside his name! SEO CHANGBIN!!!

And whenever he is done I imagine him taking a long hot bath with me in which he holds me and gives me plenty of kisses. But then again he starts talking about how good he made me feel a few minutes ago. He whispers the dirtiest things into my ear until I cum from just his words while tears fall down my cheeks. And that is when I ask for more and allow him to break me until I won´t be able to move for the next days so I can stay in bed.

Don´t you want that too sometimes? Do you? Because I do....

I really need some good Changbin recommendations right now or else I cry!!!

damn that stress hard thoughts hit differently sometimes. in all honesty, believe it or not, it doesn’t happen very often with me, but i would lie if i said I NEVER did that. there were definitely moments were i thought of chan fucking the stress out of me, along with changbin and bambam, but other than that, in most cases i just focus on the stress and how to handle it rather than distract myself with other things.

however, i do make up scenarios before i sleep 👀

fun fact; most of my non-requests pieces were based on those said scenarios i would have or dreams i had in the past that stuck by me. like most of my timestamps are based on scenarios i had before going to bed/dreams i had, especially with the ones tht revolves around chris or bin.

also your thought was pretty hot ngl. just the sheer thought of changbin doing whatever it takes to distract you from your tiredness just by simply fucking you dumb would be something anyone could wish for..

and for the last part, unfortunately i haven’t been reading a lot of changbin lately, so i donit really have in mind atm :( but im pretty sure i’ve liked some bin fics so if i found some good ones, i’ll edit this and link some good ones.

#ella’s mailbox （╹◡╹）#ella’s awesome anons !!#stray kids hard hours #stray kids hard thoughts #skz hard thoughts #skz hard hours #changbin hard thoughts #changbin hard hours

12 notes · View notes

wildmeadowsbackup · 4 years

Photo

In Review of The Last of Us part 2, I am satisfied.

I think for me, going back into this series I really didn’t have high expectations for the game, mostly because of the leaks, which I had heard of but stayed nicely away from. Naughty Dog has a special place in my heart, regardless of what they have done, I will always love them as a game company because they made my life better.

Uncharted Drake’s Fortune was my first introduction to the company, other than crash bandicoot I mean, when I was about probably eleven or twelve and I fell in love with the Uncharted games, and after being so angry that the team who had made Uncharted 2: Among Thieves had gone on to make the Last of Us, I very begrudgingly brought a copy of the remastered game when I brought my PS4.

I loved it.

The game had mostly all Uncharted’s charm and it won me over way too fast. I’ll admit there are parts I absolutely HATE about the first game, like the bloater in the school, I could live without that but I still really loved the game and enjoyed the Last of Us Left Behind just the same.

It definitely helped that Nolan North cameoed in the Last of Us part 1.

Playing this game, I was again taken back to that feeling of hopelessness that I associate with the series, which meant that it was still what I remembered. I think it was a little weird to change up the collectables for this game and would have been nice to still have the comics as a collectable.

If you are reading this, this is your warning that from here out I’m talking spoilers!

I met Troy Baker a couple of years ago and I think because of that I handled Joel’s death with ease. It wasn’t really that heartbreaking for me but I can understand why people found it to be.

I think if he had of called out to Ellie and said “it’s alright baby girl” then I would have lost it. That would have had me crying.

I must say though, what they did to his knee! fck that made me angry, like i, have had issues with my knee and seeing that made my knees hurt.

Ellie’s mission. I understand it and see why she did it but I think it was weird.

I AM ANGRY. HORSES ARE MY FAVOURITE ANIMAL. HORSES ARE MY EQUIVALENT OF DOGS. AND THEY BLEW UP MY FCKING HORSE.

I couldn’t care what happened to anyone else but my horse and they killed it. I was so pissed.

I decided to do Ellie’s Instagram because I was enjoying the settings so much and I honestly had a lot of fun doing that little series.

I hated the “tanks with hammers” mini-boss fights. I turned the difficulty down on those fights so fast cos I hated them so much.

I enjoyed playing as Abby quite a lot and I really enjoyed collecting the quarters with her as when I went to America that's exactly what I did, in fact, I still have a massive bag of US Dollars of just special quarters.

Dina is the only character I really feel sorry for? Oops. OH AND MEL COS SHE DIDN’T DESERVE THAT.

Owen was “cute” in an adorable way but I could do without having to watch that sex scene ever again. thanks.

I loved Lev and feel so sorry for him honestly, I think he was probably one of the better “side” characters to be honest and he’s probably my favourite character.

In hindsight, I think the ending from Seattle was... weird... and rushed for Abby at least. idk man, I kinda get Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception vibes when you have to go on the cruise ship. I HATE THAT PART.

Also, would it have killed them to put in a Marco Polo joke? like, come on I had to make the joke myself, sad times.

Also, where were all the fast-food joints at? we got one on the Scars island? that’s it? come on I'm sure there could have been more.

The End Fight.

I enjoyed it actually, which is good cos I kinda hated the Rafe fight in Uncharted 4: a Thief’s End and the lost legacy boss fight was similar but this one was actually good and heartbreaking tbh, cos I liked Ellie and Abby and it was so heartbreaking seeing how worn down Abby had become and I felt horrible drowning her. The Ending was satisfying and I’m glad of the choice Ellie made.

I think in the end I have some questions and thoughts, those being, Ellie was bitten again so what happens now? is she still fine? cos wouldn’t it be cool if she wasn’t? idk and also Dina must have gone to Jackson, so did Ellie go there?

I think they’ve left the game ending open enough that there could definitely be a third game and I would love to see it, and I’d also love to see a someone else who was immune that died and they used them to make a cure and the third game is about the recovery of society, I think it could be the coolest end to the series. and maybe the bad thing in that game could be people who are still trying to get people infected and bring down a society they don’t know how to be apart of? I guess like radicals? idk.

In the end, I am happy and the ending is satisfying enough that you could leave it but it’s also just open enough for another game so either way will be happy.

#mine #non sims #a review of the last of us part 2 #my review #my thoughts #the last of us part ii #the last of us part 2 #the last of us #THE LAST OF US SPOILERS #My screenshots

21 notes · View notes

justanotherboyfromhell · 3 years

Text

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Sometimes but not at all.

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

Can't even remember. I think like 5 years ago but idk

03: Do you regret anything?

Do Drugs, trust too many people way too fast.

04: Are you insecure?

Always

05: What is your relationship status?

Single

06: How do you want to die?

Idc but i wanna die asap pls. Thx

07: What did you last eat?

Today ? Nothing.

08: Played any sports?

Did Judo and athletics.

09: Do you bite your nails?

Nah

10: When was your last physical fight?

2 years ago i guess.

11: Do you like someone?

Hell yeah

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

A hole week...

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Basically myself

14: Do you miss someone?

Yes :/

15: Have any pets?

Two Budgies ( both can't fly. Life sucks)

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

Pretty fckd up. Just wanna die.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Not gonna answer questions like this one.

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Fck yeah. Nothing that scares more than these fcking little bastards....

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Hmm i don't know.

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

Last weekend

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Survive. Maybe meet some friends and drink some alcohol lol

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

At the time i would say no but who knows !? Maybe i'm changing my mind in a few years.

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Nope.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

Geography

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

Anyone who was supposed to stay but couldn't

26: What are you craving right now?

Peace of mind.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

Who knows ? Haha

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Hmm yeah :/

30: What’s irritating you right now?

The future

31: Does somebody love you?

Idk. Based on friendship yes

32: What is your favourite color?

If black would be a color i would say black. But it isn't. So i go with blue.

33: Do you have trust issues?

Yes.

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

About loosing someone i love.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

I'm only crying alone.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Depends on the connection, that i had to the person and what they did.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

To forgive. I don't forget anything negative that happend in the past.

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

2014 was pretty cool.

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

Uhmmmm..... No !?

51: Favourite food?

Can't fix one.

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Yessir. Trust God and let things happen.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Texted my bestie.

54: Is cheating ever okay?

Basically no. But it depends on the situation. I don't wanna judge someone. Everybody has a reason.

55: Are you mean?

Sometimes.

56: How many people have you fist fought?

Idk as if i'm counting xD gtfoh Bro But i'm not that guy that goes all in when it comes to fights. If you can't prevent it then I'm in but otherwise I won't go into unnecessary fights. To go in fights, that aren't necessary is pretty premitive in my eyes tho

57: Do you believe in true love?

Yes.

58: Favourite weather?

Sunshine.

59: Do you like the snow?

Yeah but only in winter. Not in fcking april....

60: Do you wanna get married?

Uf i would met someone thats worth it ? Hell yes but i would make sure she's the one

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Yes

62: What makes you happy?

Uhm ... When my friends are arround.

63: Would you change your name?

Yes because i got that fcking double name. I woukd change it to " Johnny" only

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Idk

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

What are these questions bro!? Idk depends on the situation.

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Yes my bestie.

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

My bestie. Damn she's the answer to many of those questions haha

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My bestie.

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

Didn't we had this question before?

Yes.

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

For most of my friends. And i know they would do the same for me.

1 note · View note

roses-ruby · 4 years

Note

So lemme just rant as a fellow desi, I have seen couples live with each other despite one or both of them being disloyal hoes and they stay together just coz our culture looks down on separation and frankly its toxic. Like I know you have probably written a lot of the chtmd2 already,but bro, I would love to see Jimin suffer, I would love to see the OC fcking drag that bitch through this emotional turmoil where he absolutely craves her but she got no fcks to give and he will WEEP at his LOSS

WHAT HAS GOT YOU IN THIS MOOD HSBJSBJ i’m crine

Rant to me anytime babydoll, I absolutely fucking agree with you and have a few things to say myself. I was talking about this to my sister a few weeks ago, and we were talking about how people look down on not just separation, but specifically women being separated. They literally look at her like picky used goods. It’s revolting. I told my sister then, that I will never see divorce as anything but liberation. I don’t care which lovestruck, heart in his ass fool wants to disagree and call it terrible, divorce is freedom and I have a lot of respect for women who understand that their relationship, although matrimonial, is toxic or unworthy for them.

I once saw somewhere that this guy asked his grandmother “Grandma, how come people got divorced less in your lifetime?” To which the grandmother responded with something along the lines of “Because back then, if there was a problem, we actually worked on our marriage, rather than get divorced over the smallest shit.” LMAO this old bitch lying through her missing front teeth hddhkbdk no, you didn’t get divorced because society told you not to. You didn’t get divorced because you were scared and scarified yourself and your man beating up on you daily seemed more promising than rotting homeless. You didn’t get divorced because you were barely educated, not able to get a job and provide for yourself and your husband knew that and took advantage of it. You didn’t get divorced because of the fake info going around that children will be scarred after divorce. You didn’t get divorced because you let the opinions of everyone but your own self run you, and threw aside your happiness, pain, anger, hurt until you were numb. You didn’t get divorced because of misogyny, and only that. Not because you ever had anything to work on grandma. And now you’re sitting here, judging other women because you believe that if you can get through an alcoholic and abusive husband for your children, so should they. Pathetic.

It is not just divorce, have you seen the way our culture treats widowed women??? Last year, my mother’s friend (also desi) lost her husband to a heart attack. She was rightfully devastated. Us and a few other desi women decided to give her a visit to make sure she’s holding up. My mother and I, knowing that the poor woman probably hadn’t eaten yet made her and her 14 yr old son sandwiches, daal, and chai. So we go to her house, where most of the women had already arrived (also you know the desi woman circle, everyone knows each other). She’s on her sofa, crying her eyes out and everyone’s circling her and calling her ‘poor thing.’ Anyway, as we sit down we start to notice smthg really strange. Other than us, no one had brought her anything to eat or drink. Which is fine whatever, but they weren’t even offering her words of comfort??? They were saying shit like “Don’t go outside of the house without wearing a black veil, it is a sin.” “Read a certain prayer through the whole night for your husband without sleeping.” “Don’t wear jewerly or bangles ever again.” One even told her to not step out of her house when she talked about finding work!

Needless to say, my mother and I were LIVID lmao. They were punishing her for her husband’s death??? Fucking society bro jhbdjdb But enough about them, to me the saddest part was when I took out the food I had for her family, her son was staring at me with such hunger. I told him, “Here hon, it’s for you.” and he looked back at his mother and asked her if he could have some. The mother said yes ofc, but the thing is, if she hadn’t fed her son she obviously hadn’t fed herself and here were these fucking roaches, who obviously don’t give a shit about her well-being telling her how to live the rest of her widowed life. Sickening.

The way society treats men will never be as bad as how they have treated and traumatized women, which is why I feel that we get so upset and want men to suffer. Especially in these situations.

CHTMD is my creation, but it has it’s own heart you know. As satisfying as it would be to see Jimin suffer, this story is about the OC and her growth. It’s a testament to me, as a writer, if I want to be self-indulgent or let the story play out to it’s true form. There’s a lot of different factors I have to consider: OC’s character and psychology, Jimin’s actions, side characters involvements, OC’s environment, ‘would a character like Jimin even suffer from this loss?’ etc. Now, the story that inspired CHTMD had the cheater end up with the OC as a happy ending because the author said they ‘got attached’ to the characters. And I just can’t. I would never want to be an irresponsible writer like that lol. Our culture has its downsides but I can’t take that out onto the characters I’ve given life to. It’s not fair to them. Now before I go on further with this cheesy nonsense, just know that I have written a lot for CHTMD, but the ending is still in the works. It is up to the scenarios and characters to decide how this will end.

Okay, so I have no idea why I ended up ranting that much but I completely understand your sentiments. I’m screaming, plz feel free to come and drag CHTMD’s Jimin anytime through my inbox snsbb it’s satisfying as fuckk.

#bruh this woke me up #i can feel ur anger from here i love it #R:Ask #skiangel #fuck women that play into this society even though i understand they are also victims lol #the way my grandmother told me her mother said 'so? it could be worse' to when she told her that her husband hits her #yeah anyway cunts #sorry for the rant baby i went everywhere for no reason #R:CHTMD

9 notes · View notes

itsacomplexmind · 4 years

Text

just keep scrolling pls

RIGHTY-O IT IS ONCE AGAIN TIME FOR ME TO RAMBLE, it’s been a while, thanks for coming! You may want to leave because this is gonna be a wild ride so buckle in or just keep scrolling. I suggest the latter.

Holy fcking shit do I hate myself. Like, honestly, how can anyone find THIS even remotely attractive. My eyes are wonky, my teeth too big, I’m a traumatized mess that struggles with a strong as fuck eating disorder but I look like a bloody whale. I don’t care about my health anymore, as long as that number on the scale goes down. What’s the point in trying to recover? I know I’ll fail anyway. Besides, I’m not worth it. I don’t deserve food, I don’t deserve happiness, I don’t deserve to be okay.

All I am is an object, you made that clear to me, for all those fucking years. I was FIVE you sick bastard. Five and nothing more but a product, a literal slave for 9 years. And it got you rich. You stole my childhood without a second thought.

And then there’s the ex who didn’t give a single flying fck about completely breaking me over and over and over. SO much fun to clean up your own blood from a beating because, if you don’t clean it, you’re useless once again :) I will never forget how you put scissors to your wrist and told me with the widest grin on your face how you were going to kill yourself if I kept crying.

And the worst thing? These things, both the being trafficked and the abuse, are just so... normal in my brain that I feel confused as fuck now that it’s not there?! Why am I such a mess?

I don’t know how I’ll make it through the night. “If I wake up tomorrow just know that I tried, to find a way out without saying goodbye” - that line always hits me way harder than anything else in the world.

I’m going to try and not eat tomorrow but I’ll probably fail because I’m a failure in everything I do in life :) god I’m tempted to cut more and deeper and deeper still. My arm is already disgusting to look at, and I hate it. I hate me. So much.

#rambles of a complex mind

1 note · View note

meandmystuffs · 4 years

Text

[Movie_Thai BL] My Bromance (2014) Spoilers/ Review/ Comment

Disclaimer: This is purely my opinion based on what I've seen in the movie. It is not my intention to offend those people behind this movie, the lgbtq+ community and those who are reading this.

Real Plot

Step brothers, Bank and Golf realized that their feelings for each other is more than just for siblings. They were separated. They met again. They fought and met an accident. Someone fcking died.

Setting

Breaking down the setting for this movie helped me in understanding it a bit. This movie was released in 2014. The date in the tomb said 2013. Things happened around for 2 years so maybe, 2011-2012 is the right time line for this (please correct me if my wrong).

Golf, Bank and their friends were calssmates and high school students back then.

Plot, thorough re-telling cause it doesn't make sense to me

First of all, I'm not from Thailand so I don't know what was happening there around this time frame but one thing is for sure, same-sex relationship is still a taboo back then (this was presented in the movie).

Youth. A fun stage in your life where you think you know everything but you know nothing at all. 😉

Young love. I'm actually jealous. I never experienced this. 😢 But Golf and Bank did.

It was never love at first sight cause Golf was bullying Bank at first (no to bullying please) but then Golf had a change of heart and they had a good sibling relationship.

Until Thon entered. He's your typical singing guy, handsome, popular but gay. He never actually hide it. 🙄 He confessed his feelings to Bank which Bank rejected. Golf, acting jealous, received a surprise confession from Bank. Little did Bank knew, his feelings were the same. 😍

And then they were lovers. They're friends already knew and they accepted them. Their parents didn't knew cause they're not always at home 🙄 but they were caught by Golf's aunt when they were being lovey-dovey and all reasons went to hell. 😢

Now is the right time to unstan their parents. I was so mad at them I was crying so hard.

They talked first to Golf saying they should break up cause their love isn't accepted by society. The fck. Golf asked his father if he could accept him as his son, his father asked him to think of him, his family and his ancestors. Like, what? Then Golf said that if he wants him to stop being like this (trying to be with Bank), then his father should also try stop being with his new wife. 😣

His father threatened him that he will bring him to America to study and if he won't go, he will bring Bank instead.

Bank's mom said something that really broke my heart. 💔 "It's my fault for raising Bank this way."

Like the fck. Sexual orientation is not something you give to your child. It something they discover within theirselves. And you don't have the right to choose for them. Again, today is 2020 and this story is way back in 2014.

Golf went out. Bank came down and was begged, yes, they begged him to break up with Golf. 💔

This was so frustrating! How could they? I know they could but how dare they? 😭

Golf said his final goodbye to all of them when he visited their class for the last time, asking their friends to take good care of Bank and he doesn't know if he will ever be back.

There was this one scene that made me blew up. 😤

Bank's mother introduced him to another gay guy cause they are the same.

The fck! I have no ill feelings towards gays but seperating them cause they like each other and then pushing him to another guy? The hell with that! 😤

6 months later, Golf came back to Thailand with his girlfriend he met in America. Bank was so hurt he started dating Thon (yes, he's still alive) without feeling anything for him. Golf here was annoying to be honest cause he kept on pestering Bank. Then Thon made an ass of himself, he tried to make a move on Bank which Bank escaped safely.

Then the fighting happened. Golf dragged Bank in the middle of the street, shouting at him. While Bank was trying to get out of his grip, a car crashed on them.

This scene made me, wut??? 😲 Bruh. You don't fight in the middle of the road. That is suicide. Please don't ever do this.

They were both rushed in the hospital. Golf has minor injuries, said the doctor. Bank had an emergency surgery. One of his kidney was removed, the other one is not doing its job propery.

Golf then begged his father to allow him to donate his kidney to Bank cause they were brothers and he's the reason why Bank was in that situation in the first place. They met briefly after that, Golf in a wheelchair, Bank in bed, looking so pale.

And here I was, thinking about a happy ending. I just 🤡 myself here.

Then Bank was healthy again and was told that Golf returned to America. Bank was in their old room (they shared a room back then cause they were siblings) and started reminiscing the past.

They had a couple ring. Bank was wearing it like a necklace. Then one day, he returned the ring to Golf saying he wanted them to return to being brothers instead of lovers (this was way back before Golf went to America) cause he felt sorry for their parents. Golf was having none of this but did took the ring bank.

A year later, Bank was celebrating his birthday with his old and new friends. The scene was Bank was unwrapping his presents until the last one which was a small box. It was their rings. His friend handed him a letter and this was where I literally broke down.

Golf donated his kidneys to Bank. He was never in America after the surgery. Yes. He donated both of his kidneys (I'm assuming both) cause he had a fcking brain tumor that was only detected when they had an accident. Golf fcking died. He fcking died months after the surgery. Their friends knew about it but their parents asked them not to tell Bank about it.

Screw them all. 😭 They robbed them of those precious times when they could still be together. 💔😭💔

Not being able to be with the person you love during your happy moments is one thing but not being able to share your pain, you regrets and your final moments with that person, I don't know, its just so unfair. How could their parents do this? They only have on this to do. Be a parent to their child and they can't even do it. My heart still cry for this moments. 💔😭💔

Bank and his friends visited Golf's tomb. They brought flowers and Bank left his ring there. Bank was doing monologues about having that *someone*.

Then this scene caught me off guard.

Golf's girlfriend holding a baby.

At first I thought, Bank and Golf's girlfriend did what??? 😱 But I realized, before the accident happened, an engagement party for Golf and her was supposed to happen. I feel sorry for the girl and their baby. She understood what was happening between Golf and Bank back then but maybe has the same circumstances as them, being told what to do by her parents.

Final thoughts

I did not know I was going to cry so hard for this movie. The first half was light, the second half was heavy I needed to pause and cry. 😭

I'm not sure what were the writers thinking when writing this movie. Is it to support same-sex relationship or to discouraged them because this too sad for me. 😭

I'm really disappointed to their parents, like super. I don't know the context in Thailand during this time but now, we are getting so many bl dramas with supportive families and I'm very happy and thankful for that. 😊

Bank and Golf were both 16 (if Im right) this movie and they did so well! 😭😭😭 The movie was a successs (I'm assuming) cause they made a series out of it (My Bromance: The Series) with a whole new casts.

Fluke Natouch (Bank) was so fluffy in here! 😭 He's smile is the same, he's crying face is the same, him being shy and angry are the same as today and he's just too adorable! He matured a little, I don't wanna say a lot (lols) but I think his acting is way better today (of course bruh, this was 6 years ago). 😂

Fluke Teerapat (Golf) was also good. If I'm not mistaken, this was his first movie ever and I can see his potential as an actor. And he was also in the bl drama SOTUS as a supporting character. I haven't seen this drama yet but I'm planning to. 😊 Hope he will have more projects in the future.

I'm hoping a reunion project with the whole casts! Except their parents. I don't want them near to Bank and Golf. 😤

I hope this is helpful. Its more of a ranting than a review. 😂 Please do watch the movie if you can. And please support the whole cast especially the Flukes! 😍

#My bromance #My bromance 2 #Fluke #fluke natouch #fluke teerapat #Golf #Bank #Bromance #thai bl drama #thai bl #thai movie #Thai bl movie #lgbtq #Gay movie #sad movies

1 note · View note

dontwantthenextcommanderiwantyou · 5 years

Note

1-70 🙊

really… Really... R E A L L Y… How very fcking BOLD of you 😂

You know what, since I’m in such a good mood after watching Juliana “Braver than every Marine” Valdes go off on her deadbeat abusive father and defend her love for her soulmate Valentina, I’m actually gonna answer all 70 for you.

1. You just opened up a web browser. What is the first site you visit?

Tumblr of course, gotta get caught up on today’s gayness.

2. You just walked into a bookstore. What section do you go to first?

Mystery, I only go into a bookstore for one author and it’s Iris Johansen.

3. You are hanging with your closest friends. What are you most likely doing?

Something that could probably end badly for us lol My friends and I always look back on our nights out saying to each other “atleast we didn’t die tho”

4. You just turned your car on. What station is the radio tuned to?

I don’t have radio stations set because I can’t stand the commercials, I need constant music when I’m driving so I always have my phone playlists on.

5. You have just woken up for the morning. What is the first things you do?

Go to the kitchen because I’m hungry, look around at the food, then go back to bed because I’m still too sleepy to make something to eat.

6. Complete this phrase: You cannot buy happiness, but you can buy____.

“but you can buy things that will MAKE you happy… such as dogs, a house in a safe neighborhood, a reliable car, medications and medical supplies, etc.”

7. What would you do if you woke up as the opposite gender?

First, I’d cry. Then I’d go practice my aim peeing standing up lol

8. Are you more likely to cook for yourself or buy food from a restaurant?

More often than not I’m cooking for myself, especially if I’m training because it’s cheaper eating healthy with homemade meals.

9. If you had to lose one of your senses, which one would you rather lose?

I need my sight, hearing, and touch for sure, and I already know how much it sucks to lose taste after my radiation treatments, so smell would have to go.

10. If you could relive any one year of your life, how old would you be?

17, I’d wanna relive my first year of college.

11. Would you take a bullet for anyone you know?

My mom, brothers, nieces and nephews.

12. Would you rather be rich and dumb or poor and extremely intelligent?

Poor and intellige– nah fck that, I’d legit take being rich and dumb because if being dumb means I can secure my family’s future then I’m good, I could always pay someone to handle the brainy shit for me while I’m swimming in money lol

13. What TV character do you most relate to?

Tasha Williams from The L Word.

14. You just walked into a supermarket. What section do you first go to?

Sports & Outdoors… knowing damn well I don’t need to be buying anything but hoping to find a good deal on something so I can justify buying it.

15. Is sex before marriage wrong?

HELL NO! Sex is right… Marriage all together is wrong, wouldn’t recommend it.

16. You just won the lottery. What is the first thing you do with your winnings?

Buy a new phone and one-way ticket outta the state so no one can hit me up asking for money lol

17. If your best friend admitted that they have a crush on you, how would you react?

I’d be flattered and make some joke about her having horrible taste in women.

18. Will the USA ever have a female president?

**I’ll have an answer to this question after November 3rd 2020**

19. You are carpooling with your friends. Are you more likely to be the driver or a passenger?

Unless it’s my turn to be the DD, I’m not driving with my friends.

20. How short is too short for skirts and dresses?

That’s not for me to decide because I’m not the one wearing them so if a woman is comfortable with a skirt that barely covers her labia, then more power to her.

21. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, without any consequences, what food would you choose?

Pizza, there are so many variety of toppings that I’d never get tired of eating it.

22. It’s Saturday night. What are you most likely doing?

Reading fanfiction

23. You go on a blind date. Your date is extremely beautiful and physically captivating, but you hate their personality. Would you want a second date?

Ab-So-Lute-Ly fcking not! All of the beauty in the world can’t make up for an ugly ass personality. I mean we could be fck buddies, but never a “dating” situation.

24. How strict should gun laws be?

25. Would you rather be the worst player on the best team or the best player on the worst team?

Worst player on the best team because I wouldn’t be able to stand being the one putting in all the work while my teammates slack off. Atleast if I’m on the best team I’d be able to learn from players who are better than me.

26. How well do you work with others?

Not well at all unless I haaaave to.

27. You have the ability to cure only one fatal disease and eradicate it forever. What disease do you choose?

Whatever disease is most deadly to dogs, I’d eradicate that one.

28. If you could go back to college and choose a different degree to study, would you?

Nope, forensic science is what I was meant to study, I loved every minute of it.

29. Where do you see yourself ten years from now?

Bish I can’t even see myself 10 days from now, I don’t fcking know lol

30. Are you pro-life or pro-choice?

Pro-Choice Pro-Choice Pro-Choice Pro-Choice Pro-ChoicePro-Choice

31. Would you attend a same sex wedding if invited?

Yes my gay ass would happily attend a gay wedding.

32. So far, what has been the greatest day of your life?

The day I landed in Germany for my first duty station.

33. Has anyone you know ever been arrested?

Yeah.

34. If it could be one season year-round, what season do would you want it to be?

Winter.

35. What is your biggest regret in life?

Not making my ex sign a prenup smh

36. If you could bring one celebrity back from the dead, who would it be?

37. What offends you the most?

Non-black people saying nigga. I don’t care if they’re white, latino, asian, any other person of color… or if they’re gay, bi, trans, any other minority… or if their sister-in-law’s baby cousin Tracy got a brother and his girlfriend’s black. If they aint black & they have nigga in their vocabulary, they’re a piece of shit, periodT

38. Would you rather have an ugly hairstyle or be bald?

No question about it…

39. At what age did you have your first alcoholic beverage?

Listen, I learned when I was like 8 or 9 to keep my ass in a child’s place when I tried to be slick and take a few sips from a beer can my cousin left on the table… only to get a mouthful of cigarette butts -_-

40. What do you think happens to us when we die?

Nothing, you just dead.

41. What do you think is the best way to quit smoking?

Have some willpower to not be an asshole who pollutes the air I gotta breathe.

42. If you could take home any one animal from the zoo, which animal would you choose?

Penguin

43. We’re humans created or did we evolve from earlier species?

44. What scares you the most?

Dying and being the introvert I am, no one would even know anything was wrong until 6 months went by without hearing from me, and my body’s just laying there decaying and making me unpresentable for my own damn funeral ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

45. What personality trait turns you off the most?

Being disloyal.

46. You got offered a job to do something you hate, but the pay will make you rich. Do you take it?

Yeah… then once I’m rich I’ll quit :)

47. If today you only had what you were thankful for yesterday, how much would you have?

Enough… not enough…

48. How often do you get mad or upset at yourself?

Every damn day

49. If you could choose one celebrity to be your parent, who would you choose?

Michelle or Barack Obama.

50. If you could only listen to one musical artist for the rest of you life, who would you be listening to?

The Rap God himself.

51. Have you ever used you cell phone while driving?

Guilty.

52. Had anyone you were close to die way too young?

Yes.

53. Is world peace possible?

*Refer to question 18*

54. You go on a blind date. You date is extremely ugly and physically appalling, but you are madly in love with their personality. Would you want a second date?

A bomb ass personality is worth a second date.

55. How did you discover that Santa Claus isn’t real?

When I realized that whole story never made any sense… no white dude was coming to the hood to give niggas toys for free. Momma aint raise no dummy.

56. Do you believe in God, or some form of higher deity?

I believe in Deism, the knowledge of a God based on the application of our reason on the designs/laws found throughout nature. The designs presuppose a Designer. Deism is therefore a “natural” religion, not a “revealed” religion. It is the recognition of a universal creative force greater than mankind, supported by personal observation, perpetuated and validated by the innate ability of human reason coupled with the rejection of claims made by individuals and organized religions of having received special divine revelation.

57. If you could save someone you deeply cared about, but it meant breaking a law, would you do it?

IN A HEARTBEAT!

58. What is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done for money?

Enlisted in the military.

59. If you were to make a YouTube video about what you know most about, what would the subject be?

Being a ✊🏿 black 🌈 lesbian ♀️ woman.

60. What do you think is your greatest personality flaw?

I have very little patience.

61. If your friends spoke to you the way you speak to yourself, would you still want them as friend?

Hey, if they’re honest then I can’t be mad at em.

62. Have you ever “woke up like this”?

Sometimes I do be waking up like this if I may say so myself

63. You got offered a job to do something you love, but the pay is one of the worst out there. Do you take it?

If it’s not a livable wage then obviously no. But if it’s a livable wage that doesn’t leave me with extra money, then yeah doing what I love is worth the sacrifice.

64. What do you think is your best physical feature?

100% my muscles, I don’t put in work at the gym and eat vegetables for nothing!

65. What do you think is your worst physical feature.

I’m 5′1″… 9 times outta 10 I’m the shortest adult in the room… aint that a bitch

66. Do you know anyone who has committed suicide?

No.

67. What is the nicest thing you’ve ever done for someone you don’t know?

Not knock them the fck out when they said black people need to be happy white people haven’t made us their slaves again yet.

68. Have you ever had a night’s dream come true?

Idk but I swear I have moments of deja vu tho, then I think maybe they were actually just things I dreamed about in the past… hell if I know.

69. How would you reject a date offer from someone you didn’t like?

Tell them I don’t like them. I’m all about being direct.

70. Which do you think is worse: Failure, or never trying at all?

Never trying. Nothing wrong with trying and failing, everything wrong with being too lazy to even try.

7 notes · View notes

artthroughmme · 2 years

Text

Every part of myself cries so out lound but in inside of myself. I have so many bad vibes, bad feelings, bad things that im going through and no one knows a thing because everyone s looking at me like that smiley girl, but the truth is just that i am that sad girl into her heart which is always curing the others with her love and her broken heart... I wish that someone can see me once as i am and maybe do something for me, hug me, hold my hand, kiss me like i am an important person to them like they are to me. I want someone to look at me and smile, to look at me and accept every broken bone i have but no one knows how harsh i am with myself, how i stand and cry and think and just, after all, live. I am not as u seen me, i am just... I know just how to hide these parts and that s all. All i wish right now it s to hear u knocking at my door, look into my eyes and tell me that u want to do everything to make the things right with my family, talk to em and tell them them u ll be here for me as i ll be w you because i fcking hate the fact u made me so bad so nervous and i would still try to love your fcking heart, your fcking self. Everything. But the past is in the past, now the time is the time and u are just mean, u piss me off and u hurt me. But that s it, right? U can t have everything u want. Fck this.

0 notes

gerhardbandiola · 3 years

Text

⚠️ Trigger warning: DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, SELF HARM ⚠️

Some of you guys have read on my previous post that I have been very depressed these past few weeks, but only less than five people knows why, the rest of you don't need to know (family & friends, please don't ask na).

December 19, I was in Coffee Project having a semi-peaceful Saturday spending my whole afternoon updating my bullet journal of my work notes, projects, businesses, and other 2021 plans. Even though I have been feeling mentally sick, I have been preoccupying myself with a lot of work and other hobbies and they did work -- I didn't kill myself obviously -- but there were days I cannot function at all.

Anyway, going back to Dec 19 around 8:20 pm, my husband picked me up from the cafe and while we were walking towards the parking area, we started talking about this person whose causing me this much pain in my head and my heart too, cos that person *was* a friend. We went inside the car, I was so furious, I don't think anybody has seen me this mad. I was screaming, shouting, crying and hitting my head with my own hands. My husband tried stopping but I'm just too furious, I just can't stop. In my head, I just wanna die, I cannot deal with the pain anymore. Then suddenly, I cannot breathe. My jaws were locked. My whole fcking body started feeling numb. My neck's nerves were sooo tensed and they were stucked?! I cannot move!! My whole body was paralyzed!!! I could talk, but only 60% understandable cos my jaws were locked. Wth. I WANT TO DIE, NOT TO SUFFER!! I did try my best to tell my husband what's happening to me ...while I was crying, panicking inside my head. He tried to calm me down but didn't do me any good. I was even getting worse. I was running out of breath even more.

He drove to the nearest hospital from our location which was Taguig Medical Hospital - ER, just a few blocks away from Coffee Project. We arrived there around 8:30 pm. They approached our car and my husband explained to them briefly what happened to me. They carried me to be seated in a wheelchair. The staff asked my husband to park the car first. I was crying, still panicking in my head, while the mucus from my nose was all of my face and dress. Nobody even offered to clean my face. My eyes were 90% shut, I also couldn't move them so much, but I saw that there were lots of people in there. While my husband was still parking, another staff asked me the same questions they asked my husband: what happened, what's wrong with me, what's my name, what's my birthday, what's my age, do I have a record in this hospital. In that situation I was, I had to answer all those questions. Imagine, I was already having breathing problems, my body's paralyzed, my jaws were locked, and I had to answer all those and repeated every time they didn't understand me. I overheard one of the staff told the other that it might be Mild Stroke. Wtf. The hell I've been through. Then, my husband came back and he asked if they can just give me a relaxant. They said they couldn't. They have to run some tests first. Then they said they don't have space anymore in their ER so if even I want to be treated there, they would just treat me there outside, beside their freakin' driveway! So my husband of course complained why they didn't tell us that in the first place. He hurriedly got the car back again and drove me to St Luke's. He broke all the traffic rules, he made the cars move aside shouting to them it's emergency, but I guess it's fine, it was really emergency.

At around 9 pm, we arrived at St Luke's-ER and the staff brought me inside right away. They ran all the tests needed as required by the doctor. After getting some of the test results, the doctor already gave them a go signal to give me my first dose of relaxant thru IV. After that, they did a couple of more tests. Throughout, I was still all the same, except running out of breath. My approximation, it was after 3 hours that I could finally talk a little bit better (upper jaw still locked) and I could already force my right ring finger to move a millimeter. They did another test again, I think it was MRI to check my brain. After that, the doctor went to me again, and asked me to help myself. She said the #1 human being who could help me right now was me. I thought about my daughter. I stopped crying, I tried to calm the chaos in my head. I want to breastfeed my daughter tonight. Then she gave me another relaxant. After about an hour (4th hour in the hospital), I can already move my arms, legs, jaws aren't locked anymore. So we told the doctor I'm ready to go home, I'm better now. She told me all my test results are okay, the initial screening of MRI looks okay too (but the full diagnosis were not out yet - we said we could just get it back again later). I asked her, if all my test are okay, what happened to me? The doctor said I experienced an Anxiety Attack and what happened to my body is called CONVERSION DISORDER. It is a rare condition wherein your mental stress is converted to physical condition. It can make you blind, paralyzed, and affect your other nervous system, but won't be able to explain by a medical evaluation. She also advised to follow this up with my psychiatrist and, of course, avoid stress triggers.

Lessons learned:

- Never neglect mental health.

- Fck money. Go see a psychiatrist.

- Be careful of the "friends" you allow into your life. I can only count with my fingers the friends I consider "friends" in my life, but one chose to play with my mental health.

- Coffee can indeed trigger anxiety attack.

- Again, if you feel mentally troubled, just go see a doctor. Don't wait for things like this to happen to you.

Posted by Mara Kereci on Facebook a day ago.

Happy holidays! Stay safe and healthy (in all aspects) and looking forward to better 2021 to all of us.

0 notes

blanchettwannabe · 4 years

Text

It's really aggravating when ppl use your mistakes against you. How can I actually do better myself if you keep reminding me of every misstep that I made?

This keeps happening to me and I am so sick and tired of it. What will you do if they use your past to control your emotions and make you do what they want? F*ck your fragile masculinity for always wanting to intimidate a woman like me. I hate you forever and I hope this comes back to you, ten fold. Fck you for always playing the victim. Screw you for making me feel bad for what I do, for making me blame myself for everything that happens to me. I hope you regret making me look like the bad guy every fcking chance you have. And for always changing the story to you advantage when you know that I am busy overthinking, crying, and blaming myself for being weak ang like this.

I'm sick of maintaining my tactfulness for everything that I do, I dont want to be like that anymore. I should start not to care about what you'll do, I know that's what you're good at: Using my weakness to intimidate me.

You're nothing. Just like what Caty said, "i can break your masculinity with a tap"

I wish i had realized this sooner.

0 notes

jungkookio · 7 years

Text

bias tag game

hoooooooo boy so i was tagged by @hoodiejungkook @literally-just-yoongi-trash @aragyeom to do this... y do u want me to expose myself like this

Rules: write down the last 15 associated tags with your bias.

yoongs:

#take his belt and choke me with it

#not to be nsfw buti have an undying need to fucking hug this man

#when wiwllhe start capitalising on his sweat as a highlight tbh #i wna tthtta glowhgngnnfngngnghhggghhg #why is my grandpa man so hot ti rlly wanan dfckkin d8 him

#omfg fuck off #look at him hes a dumpling #a soot ball #he owns the key to m heart #honestly im rlly soft over my boys tonight #im cryign in th club

#im sorry but he looks like that sailor moon 'but you didnt do anything' meme #but like hot

#im... rlly out here loving this loser i cannot believe myself #i fell in love with some grandpa infant hybrid #look at this pingu lookin ass god i love him so much

#who let this emo kid out the house #wheres his mum

#c hoke #what the fuck wjat the fuck #when will he fucking spit on me #whatthehfuxuckgoddddddddddddddd he #what the fuck i swear everyone wants me to roll into a coma and fucking die #i hope ifkckng choke seriously what thejfuck is thsi #what is his problem why is he like this

#thsi is the begsat theing to evr hapoenr yi me shsudjrnshjsjrbndkansb pleaese

#ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god you own my fucking heart #u cld own my kidney too if u ever need it just ask

#i want him to tuck him in n kiss his forehead but i also want him to spit in my mouth u feel? #probably not #kinkshame me

#okay... he gettin thicker #i love my man's pancake ass okay #im eatin well tonight !!/1!!1/! #nourished !! #acvdhdjsjbdbsjsj hav i evr mntiond i hte mslf

#i love him so much ohmygod #!! fuck !! #m heart went nyooooooooooooom #💟💖💗💕💓💝💟💓💕💖💞💗💟💖💕💞💓💝💟💕💞💓💝💟💗💞💕💗💟💓💝💕💗💟💖💖💟💕💞💓💖💗

#m heart just launched outta m chest #idk wht t doabout it tbh #i... need that

#ohmygodohmyogogododdoohohoh #hooh my fuckicjg n god #im fucking malfunctioning btixch #bwaht the fuck he looks so fucking goood #hes rlly rpepin the gays again inhis flannel #an icon #he looks like a billion fckng dollars bitxchm im rlly choking #im gna eat a fucking shoe i love him so mcuh #godthey rlly mad ehim blond again #i dk what to domblond yoongs has always been m favourtei #n im alwaysh fucking screaming about it and bitch x hes rlly blodn n im rlly crying because fuck #hhes in his fckckng prime okay #hes th mc of m heartmcnncnnnnnggggggggggggggjhsbdhjbfhbnj

jungkook:

#i wanna punch him in th face #but with lovecause i love him so much #i cld never hurt him #honestly i'd much rather him sucker punch me in the jaw #look at him he's such a shit but he's my favourite #eugghhdghhdhhhhjjhhjhj

#he cld crush a bitxch with those thighs #(its me) #(im the bitxch) #(please crush me)

#fucking b e a n me #rightin th fckn skull #just straight up fucking murder me #what kinda zoom #its all so shiny #hes fckng gleaming #his shirt is fcking gleaming #meanwhile im constructing my coffin while i wait for him to b e a n me #the fuck

#biyxch his tiddies bigger than mine

#its always th lasttwo gufs that tip me over the edge #m reachign fr th mfing gun bitxch #i hate this shirt n its aphrodisiac bullshit #oyster juice #it had to have been soaked in fckng ousyetr juice #can u hear my inner turmoil sis............. this shirt has victimised me #the shirt #it strikes again

#wow look its my emo boyfriend

#ggggggggggggggno the shirt can fuck off #whoever manufactured it #you know what no it wasnt manufactured #it was hand crafted by satan himself to fucking tempt me to evil #show me a single fancam of mr jeon fucking jungkook in that shirt where he doesnt look at one with the fucking devil #find me one! #i can guarantee u wont find any bitxch #possessed #absolute blasphemy #i hope i fckign burn in hell

#the second gif is him throwing my heart out the fucking window

#ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my gohd how can he be this cute while literally drnched in sweat #ion kno but hes gleaming #shining #glowing even #he hsa no faults #look at his smile it cld make flwers grow fck off #n the stars are in his eyes #all of them #im real emo tonight #hes so bright #the most beautiful boy #a baby #my best baby boy in th whole wrld #i wld gv hm m everythng #i love hm so mch m heart is so full #im nourished

#this era makes m choke on air #he was so rude the entire time i really hsatge bjgbnkgjbnfdkjbdfj bjbngnbkgnbkgfkbng #...gotta go #i hope he *** **** ******** ** *** ***** ** *** **********

#jungkook is so cute i love him so much what the fuck #he is the purest mostwholesome lil fella ive ever seen #his gecko friend :(((( #bitxch #search: how to be a gecko #hes so excited wgdhjb #'this one is a different guy!" #what the actual fuck jungkook rip m heart out y dont u #he saved m life wow #bad day who? dont know her #m never gna b sad again

#oh my god someone get me out of his ass #i'm too far #so far up his ass

#ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm????? #i want him to dropkick me down a flight of stairs

#i want to fuxjckxking die and be dead get this photo away from me #what the ever loving fuck #are you seeing jungkooks arm??? are u seei g it #cause biyxch i am and i choxked #i hope i die #ababsbndnenjabsbsjjsnsl ouc h

#hes like my age in these photos whahat the fuck #why do noboys near me look exactly like this with this exact personality and this exact dna

jimin:

#he looks like a sad puppy and im not having it #ill fight the fucking rain #ill punch a cloud i dont give a fuck

#i wld step on a lego brick for u

#omg hs lilcrooked tooth #im ugly cryign bitxch #thats it im cryign in th club fr real

#im screamign outta my ass #what the fuck jimin #what kinda extra ass #he did a fuckin split to try and kick a golden glittering pompom #this is gay culture

#he looks like a rich housewife #please step on me

#his fucking n e c k #look at it fuck #what the fuckim..... #im rlly reaching fr th fckng gun sis jesus hcirst

#@nasa i will pay you to launch me into th fckng sun bitxch

#can he maybe... jump like that again... on m fuckin head

#i swear hes like... made of gold and honey and stardust or smth what th e fuck

#i literally just said oh my god under m breath #buyt i cldnt get th words right so i just sorta went ohgghg #what the fuck

#this is some chaotic evil behaviour right here what the fuck jimin

#perfection? on my dash? its morelikely than u think!

#i hope i die immediately right now this very second

#can he punch me in th fucking throatplease #i will pay him to straight up fucking deck me

#oh my fucking god im #he #whatthe actual fuck is this?????? #what the fuck is thsi ?!??!?!?! #no #ihave truly had e nough of this shit ajshdbjdbnjfkfl #i become a fckcng jimin stan and this is th shit i get in return???????? #chronic agonising pain #yes thnk u jimin thts rlly what i fuckcing signed up for #this was not part of th fucking contract #i just wanted a cute squishy boy with a lil button nose #n mybe a bit of sad contemplation #i did not want !!!! sin !!!!!! #in my christian household????????? #blasphemy #this is fucking blasphemy #the power of christ compels you #fuck wheres the holy water bitxch #this boysjhdbfjhbfjbjgbjbfbflk #u kno what fuck it if this is what death feels like sign me th fuck up #guess ill just die bitxch

do u ever just look back at your past self and think... is she okay

im tagging: @namjoonsgalaxy @blumiin @minsuga--genius @velvethoseok @hobisnovia @gukiee @itskimtaehyung @parkjiminivan @jiminyoongs (if u want !!)

#that was fuckign wild...#thanks for tagging me #tag

17 notes · View notes

meredith-alexandra-jane-blog · 7 years

Text

My Immortal: Beauty and the Beast Version- Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Summary:

More insanity ensues, prepz and byythches!

AN: Stop flaming! if u flam it menz u a prep or a poser! Da only reason the Beast swor is cuz he had a hedache ok on top of dat he was mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im not updating umtil I get 5 good revoiws!

The Beast made Gaston and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Gaston comforted me. When we went back to the castle the Beast took us to a clock named Cogsworth and a teapot named Mrs. Potts both who were both looking very angry.

"They were having homosexual relations in MY FOREST!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Clocksworth.

"How dare you?" demanded Mrs. Teapot. "In front of the children?" She covered her teacup grandson's eyes. (sorry, her son)

And then Gaston shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!"

Everyone was quiet. The Beast and Mrs. Teapot looked mad but Clocksworth said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up and find rooms."

We went in and a sexxy candleabrum named Loomiere yelled out to us. "BE OUR GUEST!"

"Gaston, have you considered the idea that this castle may be goffik and haunted?" I asked him.

"Don't lose your nerve, LeFou. Can't you see that it is, mon amour? It is as beautiful and goffik as ME." Gaston said.

And my boyfriend was right! The castle was dark and goffik! And so romantic because Gaston was there with me.

We went upstairs while the talking objects glared at us.

"Are you okay, LeFou?"

"Yeah. I guess," I lied. I went to a fancy bedroom and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a long, black, frock coat 1700's style with red lace all around it and black high heel boots to make me look taller. When I came out...

Gaston was standing in front of the bathroom, and he was singing 'I just wanna live' by Gentille Charlotte. I was so flattered. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said good night and he reluctantly went back to his room.

AN: shjt up prepz ok? PS I wnot update ubtil u gibe me goood revows!

The next day I woke up in the fancy castle bedroom. I put on black breeches that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all around it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray painted my hair with purple.

(Madame de Goffik Garderobe the famous singer lived here and she helped me get all these kewl accessories! Stanley u jealous huh?)

In the great hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk-

(AN: NO, I won't- I can't do that to LeFou! I love my gay son. I will not have him drinking this much blood.)

I had milk with cereal and a glass of more milk to help me grow tall and strong like Gaston. Suddenly someone bumped into me. And all the milk spilled over my top.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily.

I regretted saying it when I looked up because I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with long blonde hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He was wearing red contact lenses just like Gaston's. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Dan Stevens. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only-yeah I'm a man so maybe I did, shuddup that's private you sicko.

"I'm so sorry," he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Prince Adam, though most call me Beast these days," he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

He looked nervous for a second, then I think he started to make up a lie. I'm not a fool. He may, in fact, be that Beast who invited us here and he transforms back and forth, but let's just pretend I'm stupid and I don't know.

"Because I like the taste of Vampire blood." he giggled.

"Well I am a werewolf." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I howled. Then, Adam growled sexily.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Gaston came up behind me and said he had a surprise for me and so I went away with him.

Gaston and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs.

I waved to Beasty. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Gaston. Anyway I went upstairs excitedly with Gaston. We went into his room and locked the door. Then...

We started frenching passively (because we're Frenchmen, u dumb preps!) and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took off my breeches. I took off my black leather top and he took off his tight breeches. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in (censored) and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

"Oh, Gaston, Gaston!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Gaston's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words...Vampire!

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Gaston pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you frcking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"

I put on my clothes all huffily and then I stomped out. Gaston ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Beasty's classroom where he was having a lesson with Clocksworth and some other people.

"BEASTY ADAM, YOU MOTHERFCKER!" I yelled.

AN: stop flassing ok? if u do den ur a prep!

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Gaston came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

"LeFou, it's not what you think!" Gaston screamed sadly.

My friend, B'loody Beauty Belle, smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic brown-with-red-streaks hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born-

(wait- I meant Belle not Hermione! They both look like Emma Watson so dont judg me 4 beeing confuzzed u dum prepz!)

Her real parents are vampires, but Voldebeast (who is the Undead Father of Beasty) killed her mother by causing her to have the same disease his wife (Adam's Maman) died of.

She still has nightmares about her mother dying when she was a baby and she is very haunted and depressed.

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Clocksworth demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Beasty, I can't believe you cheated on me with Gaston!" I shouted at him. Everyone gasped.

B'loody Belle started to cry tears of blood and despair, because Beasty is her boyfriend.

{GASTON'S POV:} "I don't know why LeFou was so mad at me. I had went out with Beasty for a while (he's bi in case you haven't figured that out) but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Belle when she was a stupid preppy fcker before she turned kewl and goffik and became known as B'loody Beauty Belle. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was extremely gothic because he kept transforming back and forth between a hairy Beasty and that preppy fcker Prince Adam. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)" {END OF GASTON'S POV, BACK TO LEFOU'S}

"But I'm not going out with Gaston anymore!" said Beasty.

"Yeah, fcking right!" Fck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into Beasty's wolf-infested forest where I lost my virility to Gaston and then I started to bust into tears.

AN: Stop flaming ok! I dntn wach da hole Disney movie! itz nut my folt if the Beast swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson clock doesn't lik adam is coz he's christian and beasty is a setanist! MCR ROX!

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Gaston for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Gaston.

Then, all of a suddenly, an horrible Beast (not Beasty cuz he's all cute and furry) with red eyes and no nose started flying towards me! He didn't have a nose (basicaly like Voldebeast in the movie-oh wait we hardly saw Adam's evil father 'cept in a song flashback can't remember if he had a nose then but this is what he transformed into after his Death as an Undead, u preps!) He had all black fur but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was...Voldebeast!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldebeast shouted "Impérieux!" and I couldn't run away.

"Courbé-Shanks!" I shouted at him. Voldebeast fell off his flying candlestick and started to scream. I felt bad for him (because I'm LeFou and I have a heart) so I stopped.

"LeFou." he yelled. "Thou must kill Beasty Adam!"

I thought about Beasty with his sexah blue eyes and his gothic blonde with red-streaks hair and how his face looks like Dan Stevens. I remembered that Gaston had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Gaston went out with Beasty before I went out with him and they broke up?

"No, Voldebeast!" I shouted back.

Voldebeast gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged. "I don't know how to shoot a gun! Gaston is the best hunter! He never misses a shot, I'm merely his hunting assistant, you see!"

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Gaston!"

Mon Dieu! I hated myself for mentioning Gaston. I can't help it. I talk about him all the time because I love him and I can't go an hour without saying his name.

I wanted to cry more depressed tears in front of this monster, but I am not weak. I'm frcking LeFou! I showed him my sassy side by sticking out my middle finger and flipping him the bird.

"It's never gonna happen! Besides, I could probably assume that he's sneaking up on you right this moment. Most likely, he is aiming for your LIVER!" I exclaimed bravely.

Voldebeast got a dude-ur-so-pathetic look on his face. (It was exactly like the face his son Adam made in the movie when he saw the old hag Agathe in the castle.) "If you doth not kill Beasty, then thou know what will happen to Gaston!" he shouted. Then he flew away angry on his flying candlestick.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Gaston came into the woods. (I was right. He was aiming for his liver, but the monster flew away too fast.)

"Gaston!" I said. "You almost got him!" I said, to bolster his ego.

"Hi!" he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner and looked kind of like a pentagram (geddit?) between Dan Stevens in the movie and Luke Evans.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me," I expelled.

That's okay, he said all depressed and we went back to his school called Porc-Verrues, making out.

#gafou #batb/harry potter crossover #my immortal #parody fanfic

10 notes · View notes