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americaswritings · 2 years

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I feel you

Warnings: angst, language, Musa is struggling, caring!Riven

Summary: Riven is there for her when Musa gets her magic back.

Words: 1.6k

Pairing: Riven x Musa

A/N: So I just finished the finale of season 2. Overall I loved the Rivusa content, but this moment was a wasted opportunity. Riven was literally standing next to her when she got her magic back and he knows how hard it’s been for her. So let’s pretend this happened (they just didn’t show it ;) )

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She feels it the moment it happens. As her magic returns a power curses through her, enlightening her whole body. Musa knows without a doubt her eyes are shimmering in a deep purple as she gazes at the others around her.

“They did it”, she says, a smile settling on her lips. Beside her Riven stops fighting and she sees the other Specialists lowering their weapons as well.

But just a second later her smile fades as the noises return to her. It hits her like a wave, powerful und unforgiving, crashing over her and pulling her under.

Distant screams growing louder, mixing with sobs and cries of pain and regret. She can feel every bit of it, every emotion ranging from shock to fear, from anger to sorrow.

“Hey!”

Her eyes are opened wide as she tries to find herself in the midst of the chaos, her own feelings that can pull her back to reality and ground her. But it’s hard, almost impossible with so many people with strong emotions surrounding her.

“Musa!”

She hears her name being called and someone moves into her field of vision. At first the figure is burry, but as the person grabs her shoulders she has something to tap into. Something that brings her enough clarity to make out his face.

It’s Riven, his brows drawn together in a deep frown as he stares at her. She knows his emotions are there somewhere too, but she can’t make them out in the swirl of it all.

“Look at me!”, he tells her and she does, stares at him like he is everything she can see. And he is.

A whimper escapes her and she leans forward, feeling like she is breaking under the weight of her own abilities. A gift, as people like to tell her. They don’t know anything.

But she knows better.

It’s a curse.

“Focus on me, okay?”

His voice sounds oddly drowned out, although he is standing right in front of her holding her by her shoulders.

She blinks, tries to do what he tells her to, but she can’t find him in all the feelings that are blending into a haze.

This is why she had given up her magic so voluntary. So she didn’t have to feel so much pain again. But now it’s back, much stronger than she could have anticipated.

“I can’t!” She shakes her head, helplessly. “I can’t find you.” They have won. The fight is over. But instead of relief all she can think of is pain, so much pain, a silent torture no one else can feel.

“Make it go away”, she whispers and she feels Riven’s grip tighten around her shoulders. His face is only inches away from her as he speaks to her.

She doesn’t know if it is his nearness, his words or that they have built a strange friendship over the past days, but somehow Riven breaks through the fog that is her mind.

“Yes, you can. Focus on me”, he repeats, speaking slowly and forcefully to make sure she is hearing every word.

And suddenly she knows where he is. He isn’t her light in the darkness or her calm in the storm. But he keeps his emotions at bay and his pain is overshadowed by something else. Concern. Relief. Hope.

He believes in her.

She knows he must be making an effort to bring out positive emotions so she can hold onto them, focus on anything other than the pain surrounding her, but as he stares at her he doesn’t seem bothered by it or strained.

“Come one”, he mutters and she notices the deep crease on his forehead as she stares at her, his eyes flickering over her face.

His pain is a reflection of her own pain, his sorrow a result of her suffering. Because he cares. About her.

The thought startles her enough to blend out the rest as her mind tries to wrap around that newfound truth.

When she had talked to Riven months ago, he had been furious when she had used her powers to get into his head. But now he is opening himself up to her. He is letting her in, so she has something to bring her back, something that grounds her.

It is so much more than she could have asked for, yet it is impossible for her to form words as it takes all her effort not to collapse under the sudden weight on her shoulders.

“I feel you”, she whispers and he lets out a breath, nodding slowly. “Okay, good.”

But he doesn’t let her go yet and she is surprised by how much she doesn’t want him to. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

She lets him guide her away, his arm wrapped around her shoulder as he manoeuvres her through the crowd of people. A part of her wants to stop him and tell him that she can’t leave yet. Her friends are still out here somewhere, and she doesn’t know if they are okay.

Bloom and Aisha, Stella and Tara. And Flora, who has been willing to sacrifice herself.

She needs to know if they were okay. But she is too weak to argue and too scared to let go of Riven to try and find them.

“They are okay.”

She tilts her head to look at him, his knowing eyes already on her face. “You don’t know that.” Her voice sounds low and shaky, nothing like the strong and capable woman she felt like when she joined Riven and the other Specialists outside to fight along them.

She knows Riven notices, but he doesn’t say anything as he leads her back to the school.

“If they are half as stubborn as you, they won’t let Sebastian and his bastards kill them.”

She snorts at his words, not trying to argue with him. It would just prove his point and she knows he is right; she is stubborn. Strong-willed, like her mother used to call it.

“See? I’m not lying.” Riven pushes a door open for her before pointing his finger towards his head. “I know how it works.” The gesture along with his cocky grin makes her smile and she can feel the color leaving her eyes as they turn back to her natural brown.

They are nearing her room now and with every step between them and the remaining fairies and fighters outside she feels the burden grow a little lighter.

“Tomorrow everyone will handle all of this shit better”, Riven tells her as if he read her thoughts. His arm falls back to his side as they come to a stop in front of her door, and she feels like he has taken some of her warmth with it.

“You will manage.”

He says it in a casual way and with so much conviction that she wants to believe him. But right now it all seems too much and she adverts her eyes. He knows she would give up her magic if she could. He had seen her take the chance. He knows what no one else does.

But her secret is safe with him. She trusts that without a doubt. And she doesn’t need to tap into his head to know it.

“Thanks for, you know, bringing me here.” There is so much more she wants to say to him, that she wants him to know, but it’s too much to put into words. And she is tired now that the fight is over and the adrenaline is wearing off. Exhausted that her mind isn’t her own anymore, that her feelings are always accompanied by someone else’s.

Riven shrugs like it isn’t a big deal, but a part of her wonders if he doesn’t want to be with his Specialist pals. Celebrating their win instead of spending time in the presence of her low mood and energy.

But he is here, isn’t he?

“Sparring tomorrow?”, he asks and her eyes light up at his words, a little warmth returning to her. She tries not to sound too eager as she agrees and he nods at her once before turning to leave.

“Oh and Musa?” She has nearly slipped into the room when she hears his voice again and she turns back, surprised and curious what he is about to say.

For a moment he just looks at her, his expression unreadable. But she resists the temptation to glance into his mind.

“You did good today.”

His words hang in the air between them for a moment and she gulps, wishing she could see what he does when he looks at her the way he does now. Like he can see right through the walls she has built around herself.

And strangely it doesn’t feel threatening or terrifying. Instead it is reassuring to know that there is someone who really sees her.

“Now get some rest.”

It sounds a little like a command, but his voice is gentle and his eyes are soft as he looks at her in an almost affective way.

When he turns and walks away Musa lets herself stare after him, hoping he doesn’t feel her eyes boring into his back. Then he disappears behind a corner and she is left alone.

“Good night”, she whispers even though she knows he cannot hear her anymore.

And when she quietly shuts the door behind her, she allows herself to sink against it and close her eyes for a moment.

In the past days she has given up her magic only to regain it, nearly died but lived, and along the way she had found someone who made her heart beat faster and helped her shoulder the weight of the world.

Someone she had never expected to become such an important part of her life in such a short amount of time.

But she didn’t regret any of it.

And if she was going to face her magic again, she knew she wouldn’t be alone.

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americaswritings · 2 years

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Won’t lose you | Part 1

Warnings: angst, language (swearing)

Summary: Riven can’t stand around while Musa is trapped in the school.

Words: 1.1k

Pairing: Riven x Musa

A/N: I would have loved to see more of Riven reacting to Musa still being in the school and worrying about her. I can’t imagine him standing around and waiting for the army to arrive while knowing she is all on her own. So this is my take on what could have happened...

Part 2 following soon!

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"What is it?"

Sky mustered his best friend, his eyes narrowing as he took in his expression. He knew something was brooding inside of Riven, just waiting to burst free. Riven clenched his jaw, his brows drawn together in frustration. "This is all a bunch of bullshit!"

Sky tilted his head, taking a step closer towards him. "You're questioning Silva?", he asked, keeping his voice low. Riven's head shot up at the question, anger flaring behind his eyes. "Damn straight I am! We can't just stand around here while the fairies inside need our help!"

As if he had ever cared much about fairies before. He still didn't, except one.

"We're waiting for Solaria’s army to arrive. That's not stupid, it's strategic."

Riven heaved a breath. "Easy for you to say", he spit, his eyes drifting over to where Bloom was standing with her fairy friends. "What's that supposed to mean?" Sky followed his line of sight before turning back to Riven.

"You've got your little girlfriend right here." The blonde raised his brows, both confused and surprised. "This is about Musa, isn't it? Are you two a thing or-"

"What?! No!", Riven cut him off with a grimace. "You know I can't stand mind fairies."

"But you have been spending time with her", Sky pointed out and Riven rolled his eyes. "She annoyed me asking me to train her."

"And you didn't", Sky concluded, a look of understanding crossing his face. "You feel guilty, because you didn't train her and now she's in there on her own."

His jaw twitched, the only sign that Sky's word had reached him as his face remained hard. "I don't feel guilty. Just fucking useless standing around here!"

Sky reached out a hand, placing it on his friend’s shoulder to calm him. "Saul knows what he's doing. We need for the army to arrive."

"Yeah? And what help will they be if until then all the fairies will be dead and that bastard will be strong as fuck because he took all their powers. What then, huh?"

Sky gritted his teeth, but stayed silent and Riven knew he secretly agreed with him. While Sky wasn't short-tempered and fiery like he was, he didn't feel comfortable not doing anything either.

"We're specialists for fucks sake. What good are we if we just stand here and do nothing?" He had raised his voice now, his eyes fixed on Saul who turned his head.

"We're no good if we're dead either!", the man countered, but Riven shook his head. He couldn't just stand here. Not when he knew that she was still inside. Powerless.

She wasn't of interest for Sebastian without her magic. If that meant she was safe from him or if her uselessness to him meant he would kill her first, he didn't know. He had no fucking clue what the bastard would do. But he had hurt Musa once and Riven had sworn himself he wouldn't let that happen again.

He still remembered too vividly how her lifeless body had felt in his arms. How her blood had splattered her shirt and her bare arms. Had soaked his uniform.

Even though he had barely known her then, not how he knew her now, it had terrified him.

Because Musa was different.

He had seen it in her eyes that were so full of pain. Something he knew plenty of. But no one seemed to see what he saw and sometimes he wondered if he was the only one who ever saw her at all.

And the bravery with which she had walked into battle. Not even hesitating once, even as he had offered her a way out.

He wouldn't let her die now.

His feet carried him over to his teacher and commander and soon he was standing right in front of him, chest heaving with anger.

"We spend hours every day training for this. Preparing for a war. And now that it's here we just do nothing?!"

He saw other Specialists’ heads whip around at his loud voice, but he didn't care as all eyes fell on him and Silva. "It's our fucking job to fight. Our duty!"

He saw Saul open his mouth, about to shut him down but to Riven's surprise someone else spoke up first.

"He's right. The longer we wait here the stronger Sebastian will get." Turning his head to the side he saw Bloom had stepped forward, her eyes burning like the fire inside of her.

"Our friends are in there. They need our help", Tara added and he felt a sense of gratitude and hope as he saw Saul's eyes soften. They were getting through to him.

"Fine but-", he began, but his words were cut off by a phone ringing.

What the hell?

No Specialist would be stupid enough to forget to silence their phone before a fight.

It was Tara who whipped out hers, her eyes widening as she gazed at the callers ID. "It's Musa", she announced and he felt his heart miss a beat at the mention of her name.

"Put her on speaker!", Saul ordered and Tara did what he had asked.

Riven listened as Musa reported the situation to them, the Specialist in him focused on the information she was conveying while his heart swirled around the fact that she was still alive.

That he could hear her voice. And she sounded so much like the girl he had gotten to know. Not fearless but determined to look fear into the eye. Brave and a little stubborn. Ready to fight and not willing to go down easily.

He didn't say a word as Saul began to ask Musa questions, coming up with a strategy for their attack. He couldn't. Not just because everyone was listening, but because he wouldn't know what to say to her.

There was too much he wanted her to know, but too little words for him to say. He had never been good with words.

"Hold on", Musa suddenly muttered, going silent. They all did the same on the other end of the line, waiting for her to speak again.

"I think something's-"

Then they heard a scream. Heard her scream. There was another noise coming from something that was definitely not human.

Riven felt his blood run cold as he listened closely, his heart hammering in his chest. Everyone else looked as shocked as he felt, frozen as they waited for something to happen

For her to come back and tell them she was okay. But none of it happened.

Instead he heard sounds of fighting, heavy breathing and more inhuman noises. Another scream and a whimper. And then the call disconnected.

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