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bookwyrminspiration · 22 days

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TLT's Religion + Trauma Survey Results!

About a month ago, I shared a survey regarding the impact of TLT's religion on fans and specifically fans with self-identified religious trauma. This was part of a larger group project for a class, but a handful of people were interested in knowing the results, so here they are!

Before we start: this was a very informal project and necessarily limited. Response options were limited, it didn't inquire into demographic information, data was analyzed manually, and Christianity was the focus/frequently presumed given its global prevalence and relation to the story. Several avenues of analysis weren't pursued given time and project constraints, so please keep all this in mind

The survey was open for about a week and received 965 responses

First, respondents were asked on a scale of 1-4 "Does The Locked Tomb's use or depiction of religion impact your reading experience?" From the entire pool, 83.6% rated it as at least slightly impactful (further broken down in the graph), and 97.4% indicated this was a positive impact.

In open response, respondents listed some reasons why, ranging from: "“it's just a part of the story” to “I enjoy the examination of the ways religion can shape someone's world view, or be used to manipulate and control” and "Religion is my autistic special interest and I love fictional religions!"

Respondents were then asked "Do you have, in your opinion, religious trauma?" The qualifications of religious trauma were intentionally non-specified and left to respondents discretion.

358 respondents, 37.1%, marked yes

This specific group of 358 were asked if this religious trauma impacted their reading of TLT. 66.1% indicated that it did.

Open response answers elaborated on this, saying: “I think reading it is cathartic for me,” “Space trauma lets me look at my real trauma without me or real people being hurt in it,” and “making religion a part of the narrative and drawing out the themes in a way that can be analyzed and picked apart made my experience with religion something I could look at in a similar way.”

The first question from the survey was then returned to, and the ratings of the 1-4 scale were looked at solely in the group of 358 respondents with self-identified religious trauma.

Of these, 90.3% marked a 2 or higher (compared to 83.6); 15% marked a 2 (compared to 22.1%), 31% marked a 3 (compared to 33%), and 44.3% marked a 4 (compared to 28.6%). Pardon the quick graph, as I made it in about 3 minutes specifically for this

Respondents with religious trauma, on average, rated the series' depiction of religion as more impactful to their reading experience than respondents without.

All respondents were then asked, "Has TLT helped you challenge or reinforce your ideas of and experiences with religion?"

Respondents elaborated that: "it reinforced my ideas of religion because I see religion as a means of controlling people, often abusive, and rooted in the supernatural" or "It challenged me to consider how religion can be both a positive force and a hurtful institution. I knew this to a degree already, having experienced both, but reading about it helped reinforce that nuance."

Respondents were then asked on a scale of 1-5, "Does the original text or the fandom contribute more to challenging or reinforcing ideas of and experiences with religion?" 1 is individual text only, and 5 is fandom only.

The majority of respondents indicated an equal impact from the original text and the fandom, however very few people were impacted only by the fandom (1.4%) compared to the number only impacted by the text (13.8%). This wasn't investigated further.

Finally, respondents were asked what religion they'd been referring to or thinking of when they'd been answering the above questions. The vast majority indicated Christianity or Catholicism, though we did not count exactly how many of each; it was clear it was the majority, and that sufficed for our purposes. A larger, more thorough study would be needed to look at Non-Christian/Catholic respondents' experiences in comparison.

The conclusion of all of this was that, as predicted, fans of TLT with self-identified religious trauma were more impacted by the series' use and depiction of religion. This was via catharsis, sympathy, identifying with the characters, and more.

The study demonstrates a function of speculative fiction that allows readers to engage with and process difficult topics (such as religious trauma) though a protected, distanced lens where no one real is hurt. This can be taken beyond TLT and to the genre as a whole, which is often dismissed as less literary or worthy of study than its classical counterparts, an opinion the surveyors argue against.

If you've made it to the end here, thank you again for all the responses and help! I hope you've enjoyed the results, and if there are any further questions feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer them. Upfront, yes there were 2 other components to the project (looking at queer demographics for the fandom and analyzing common themes in fanart and fic); those were my groupmates' sections, so I haven't shared them, but if you're curious I can always ask them if they'd be open to sharing :)

#tlt #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #gtn #long post #fandom study #i know some people specifically asked about results so i'll try and find your urls to tag in the notes #cannot thank y'all enough for the help with this. we were NOT expecting that many responses #which was why so many of the question options were limited #if we gave too many and had like. 40 people respond and 20 of those each chose a different answer #or gave an open response #that makes it so much harder to extrapolate anything useful from the data #anyway. i'll stop rambling but thanks again!#was one of my most fun projects this semester

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tiny-sassy-aggressive · 3 months

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After watching We’re All Doomed, the comedy show by Daniel Howell, I need to take moment to write out how that show made me take a step back in my own life and evaluate progress and positive growth in my life as I realized that his timelines/feelings could be foiled in a meaningful way to my life. I was particularly inspired to write this while watching the scenes on the screen of the moments of joy people were experiencing. I swear I had chills and I started to tear up. As he spoke about not only embracing the void, but finding the courage to exist, but not just exist, but to live and find those moments of joy, I was reminded about how that moment in searching for why life was worth living was how I came (back) to Catholicism. I don’t intend this post to encourage others to or away from the Church. I simply was inspired by Dan to share how I got to a place of accepting that life is worth living and how I hope to move forward.

I want to first tw cancer, death, feelings of not wanting to exist, and mentions of suicide. Nothing is explicitly discussed in great detail but only mentioned. I have never written out my story before, barely talk about it even to this day. Tried therapy a few times but it wasn’t for me, but that’s neither here nor there. This is a safe space for me to share something I just wouldn’t with family and friends. Though, I must apologize in advance, like Dan, I talk/write way too much so this will be a very long post.

Thank you to all those who take the time to read my random story and I hope to hear from others how Dan’s story and/or show have affected you so we can share in those feelings as a community.

I am chronically depressed and anxious. Always have been as it runs in the family. However, the problem was my parents, or really, I should just say my mom because my dad was never around in an emotional capacity that mattered, didn’t necessarily believe in mental health. Sure they knew depression and anxiety were real, but those were just emotions people felt and there wasn’t anything to do but continue on and try your best to keep going no matter what. It’ll be fine, just keep moving and working, right? Well when I was 12/13 I was getting bullied really badly. It got to the point where I was having panic attacks before going to school, crying at night, constantly feeling nauseous, and worst of all, I would refuse to leave my moms side, so school got to be pretty difficult. My mom was fully aware of what was going on so she went in immediately and got the bullying handled (as much as she could, middle schoolers are brutal. It never really went away but it was less of a nuisance) but she did not understand why I still felt ill and didn’t want to leave her side. She found me a therapist and I went twice. I knew we had financial struggles and I started to feel better so I stopped going. I was still sad and scared but those were normal feelings, right? I could go to school and play my flute, talk to friends, and sure I was writing songs about being trapped in a cage and having no one hear my screams but I was just an edgy teen, I wasn’t depressed. That’s just me being me. No mental illness here! I’m fine. Spoiler alert- I was not fine and it was only going to get worse.

When I was 14 I found Dan and Phil! I was a huge o2l fan so I followed Connor Franta and he posted Internet Trivia with Dan and Phil and I absolutely fell in love with them and fell down the rabbit hole of their channels and the gaming channel. I loved them both but I definitely had a bias towards Dan because he wore all black and was edgy. Watching Existential Crisis for the first time gave me a phrase to the weird feelings I had. Both affirmed and disproved the fact I was mentally ill but I still didn’t have the words for it so I just thought I was mentally different from other people. Watching that video back with all the context of 2024 and 2024 Dan, that video covered an extraordinarily heavy topic but he never mentioned the word depression or mentally ill because, at that point, why would he? Since he was the only person who voiced those feelings that I also shared, I took them to heart, but I could only take those words to heart as I had no reference to infer what else all that meant. So I kept all my feelings to myself. After all, this guy said he had all these big feelings but was fine. Call me naïve, I was 14, so I believed I could be okay and still feel existential. It was normalized, plus nothing else in my life was being affected, I was doing well in school, I had friends, I had hobbies, I was fine. How could I complain?

A few months after the start my freshmen year of high school, my older brother was diagnosed with leukemia and everything changed. He was sick and had to stay in the hospital for months, one of my parents would always be at the hospital, and me and my little brother would visit on the weekends when we could. My mom really stressed the importance of keeping a normal schedule so we did. School, extracurriculars, piano, just keep moving and everything will be alright. I didn’t cry, I couldn’t cry. I had to remain okay, fine, an unbreakable force because I couldn’t have anyone worrying about me because we all had to worry about my brother. Which we did! I never wanted to be a burden or not okay because I wanted all attention and time focused on his wellbeing. I don’t remember talking to anyone about anything emotional. Sure as hell not my parents. Not my brothers. Not even my friends. So I watched videos and removed myself and all emotions from my being so I didn’t have to think or be.

When he was first diagnosed I felt lost and confused. So I did the one thing my private, catholic school taught me to do. I found God and prayed. Except, I can say certainly looking back, it was not a meaningful relationship I created. It was one forged in fear, confusion, and a misunderstanding of how to pray. Ironically, for a catholic school, they didn’t know how to teach someone to come to God, they just expected you to understand, but that’s beside the point and a different conversation. But that’s what I did! I prayed, every morning and night, Lord, Please heal my brother. Please. Tried devotionals I didn’t get, muttered words I didnt understand, and played the part. I watched everyone else around me do it so I did it too, to the point where I believed I needed to be perfect or else my prayers would fail, which, I cannot express enough, was not the appropriate mentality, but that’s what I thought was necessary.

About 7 months later, my brother was in remission and he came home! He was okay! We got through the summer, he came back to school, we were in band and choir together again. It was fun!! We were all okay again. The dark spots in my head were still there but they were probably just left over from how scary last year was. How could I not be happy with my brother back home and alright again. At this point, my prayers were answered so I slowed down my prayers. I was okay so I felt as if I did not need my relationship with God as intensely anymore because I felt fine. Plus, when I was sad or scared those were just normal reactions that were not taking over my life so why dwell on them.

In 2017, Dan released Daniel and Depression. And I don’t exactly remember my reaction. But at that point in my life, I remember coming around to the idea that maybe I was not as mentally sound as I thought. But even listening to what he had to say, I was still convinced I was not depressed, I was just traumatized from what had happened to my brother and to my family. I had spent that time living through hell and I never stopped, I did not lay in bed wallowing, I didn’t not brush my teeth or not take care of myself. I was a high functioning nearly straight a student through and through. I was not depressed.

I don’t know why that was such a dirty word for me. Or maybe it wasn’t a dirty word, but it was something I didn’t want associated with myself. My school didn’t believe in mental health because all you had to do was pray and “you can’t be depressed and be with God” - Which by the way is completely inaccurate and harmful for young people to grow up learning. On the other hand, my parents lived in a hospital with my sick brother for months, I shouldn’t be depressed or talk about the weird sadness I was experiencing after everything they went through. It’d be selfish of me to not be alright.

Two months after Dan posted his depression video, my brother got sick again, the cancer came back. I prayed fervently once again. Knowing it worked once it could work again. Every morning and every night in the depths of my dark room where no one could see or hear because everyone else in my family was not religious or was too angry at God to believe. I put it on myself to pray and to be good so he can be healed again. But I failed. He died 4 months later on my 17th birthday. Years later, a therapist would tell me that happened because he didn’t want me to forget about him, well jokes on the therapist I was never going to forget anyway. I failed, it was my fault he died. If I prayed more, if I was a better person, if I just focused I could have saved him. But I wasn’t enough, I was not good enough to save him. This wasn’t true, of course, nor how religion/prayer works. But I didn’t know what else to do or think. So I blamed myself. I wasn’t even there when he died. My parents told my little brother and I that he wasn’t ever coming home and a few days later, on my birthday, we went to school and when my dad picked us up from school he drove us home and my mom was sitting there and that’s when I knew. My little brother was so cute, he later admitted he just thought my mom had come home to see me for my birthday but I knew immediately. I still don’t know how my dad just picked us up that day and didn’t say anything.

A part of me died that day. How could it not have? It was a strange night. We cried. I ate a pre-bought cupcake. My brother went to lacrosse practice and the next day we both went to school. Because that’s just what we did. We just kept going. Let me tell you, you’ll get the strangest looks from people when they see you at school after they just heard over the loud speaker that your brother had died the previous day. Because really, what were we doing there? We were the highest functioning traumatized students you had ever seen. I was only 2 minutes late to my first class of the day, math. I went to the chapel in the school with my really close friend to cry and listen to adoration music and just wonder why, why, why? 2 minutes wasn’t too bad, the teacher was surprised to see me and I failed the math quiz we had. She was nice, she offered to not have me take it, but I was already there and it was math quiz time so I took the quiz. She let me redo it too. She was nice, I needed it. It felt normal so I felt fine.

And that was all the rest of the 2018 school year was. Fine. Went to class, studied, did my extracurriculars, performed in all the shows, hell, I even went to prom with said super close friend from earlier. It was obvious I was traumatized and sad but how could I not be? But I was doing everything a normal student would be doing so what was the problem?

The problem was I felt alone, hell, I was alone. My family was broken, shattered into a million a pieces. My dad was distant, my mom cried, my bothers and I weren’t talking in any meaningful way. I talked to one person, the guy who held me in the chapel the day after my brother died and who took me to prom. I loved him, we loved each other. He was the only person who I felt actually saw me. I always had some barriers up but I felt free with him and I know he just wanted me to be okay even in the midst of tragedy. We were friendly for 2 years but we got close right before my brother was diagnosed again. Those months meant so much to me and I thought we would always be close. But 1 month after my brother died. He told me he did not want to continue our relationship or friendship. He said I was too much to handle or had too much going on. In all honesty, I don’t remember his exact words because I most definitely mentally blacked out. And he broke what little part of me was left.

(About 2 1/2 years later he ended up calling me and after not really speaking to him at all since that moment, I picked up, more out of curiosity then trying to rekindle anything. He told me that, unbeknownst to me back in 2018, he went to our Moral Theology teacher (yes- private catholic school) to ask for advice because he saw how much pain I was in and he did not know how to help me. Instead of this teacher, a literal adult, going to our schools counselor, my mother, or even me and addressing this 17 year old boys concerns about ME, he told him that he should just give me space because of the mental weight of the tragedy I was living through. His advice to this boy was to essentially isolate me. Looking back, I do feel bad for this boy. He tried so hard to do the right thing for me but didn’t have the right directions. And on the other hand I am so mad at the teacher because that was the worst advice he could have ever given ever. Thanks! Real talk though, I loved that boy and he always meant the world to me. We didn’t keep in touch afterward that 2020 conversation but I kept tabs on him through mutual friends and he always listened to my music on Spotify. He went through a tough time and he committed suicide in 2022. I really do miss him and wish things were different for all aspects of his story, my story, and what might have been our story. It felt wrong to exclude his memory in this post because he truly played such a crucial role and he meant so much to me even years later)

Back to 2018, after he abandoned me. I was completely and utterly alone. And now, I feared opening up at all to anyone because I didn’t want to be perceived as the burden I truly was. So I swallowed every once of trauma, depression, and anxiety so I was perceived as a functioning, fine, human being who didn’t need anyone to worry about her. I didn’t want anyone to worry or care for me because they thought I was fragile or broken because I now had proof that I would become too much to handle and that anyone would just leave me just as he had. And that was it. I smiled, I laughed, I spent the next year completing every senior year milestone and graduated high school. And I didn’t feel one emotion. I was fine.

Summer 2019 was when things started to shift a bit and here’s where I think the foiling begins. For one, Dan had just released Basically, I’m Gay and he started to live his truth being out of the closet. I truly don’t want to nor feel like I can comment anymore on this topic because that was his own personal journey and I don’t want to speculate on anything he said. He did so quite clearly and explicitly. But the point I am making was that in the middle of 2019, he began living his truth. This one thing he didn’t talk about that is so quintessential to his character was now a public part of him and he got to experience that joy of being out. There was a shift in his character, anyone who watched his video could tell, he was happy, he seemed excited. He went to pride, did promotional videos, and he just seemed like he was living in a brighter light. It was beautiful to watch and I’m grateful he let us share in those moments of joy with him.

Before I get too deep into this section, I want to preface and state that I do not remember large chunks of time between 2018-2021. All the trauma and depression have made me forget nearly everything, and it’s a very weird sensation to have little to no memories of 3/4 years of time. I can recall general feelings and most memories I can see are from a third person pov so I can see what was happening, but I see it happening to me, not me actually experiencing the memory.

For me, summer 2019 meant leaving for college. Now, in hindsight, I made a major error. I was going to the same college my brother had been at before he died. I don’t know what I was thinking or why I thought it was a good idea but the school gave me money so I would have been a fool to take on more student loans than necessary, plus, I knew I wanted to transfer the next year and move half way across the country so I had an end goal in sight, just had to get through the year.

I also started to go to church again. There was a cute little church about a half mile down from my school so it was an easy walk. I don’t consider this change/new addition a mistake, but I do often wonder what was I thinking exactly. I don’t recall my exact process but remember two dueling trains of thought. For one, I still 100% felt weird about religion/God because I blamed myself for my brother dying because I wasn’t praying enough and wasn’t good enough to save him. But on the other hand, I did not feel right to never enter a church again and a part of me wanted to return because it felt like the right thing to do. I spent my entire formative years at a private catholic school. I knew all the prayers, scripture, the saints (I was confirmed taking St. Rose Philippine Duchesne), and my senior year religion class was dedicated to teaching us how to explain/teach the faith to non-believers. And I believed in all of it! I had faith, so how could I not be going to church. Call it guilt, or whatever you want to call it, but I couldn’t turn my back on the church after everything I had learned so I went back. It was the truth I believed in and the truth I wanted to live by. I told myself that eventually I would just feel better, I’d continue to pray to heal and keep going through the motions until it stuck. At this point, I had fully embraced the void I was living in. I accepted that I was depressed, I accepted that I was depressed long before the trauma began so I was battling undiagnosed depression alongside the after effects of the trauma, and I accepted that I am an incredibly anxious person. That was alot for an 18 year old to take in but I finally accepted what my truth was. I admit it and that’s the first step right? I know I am mentally ill so I started some therapy, and I continued going to church and praying because every thing I read and was told said those were the best things I could do to help myself. So things could only get better from here, right?

Not necessarily. The end of 2019 flew by and before we knew it we were in the throes of a global pandemic. Within 3 months in 2020, my parents divorced (finally), my grandmother died from the same cancer that my brother had which was sick was twisted if you ask me, and my mom, little brother, and I moved half way across the country. Oh and I transferred colleges in all that too. Besides every single bad thing we experienced, moving was supposed to be our new start. A new place, new schools, new adventures. No longer living in the state with every bad memory we had or the house we essentially grew up in. It was new and fresh, almost the perfect situation to start a mental health journey in, besides the recent trauma I still don’t think I have processed fully and a global pandemic. I just thought I would be getting better.

I remember the part of We’re All Doomed when Dan mentioned 2019 being so important because he started to live his truth and I felt so similarly. I thought once I accepted what was going on in my head I’d feel better. But then 2019-2021 for both of us seemed to be one of our worse times mentally, which is oddly terrifying because of the emphasis that was present on wanting to feel improved.

Between 2019-2021, I struggled with the concept of existing. I did not understand why I was here and others weren’t, what I was meant to do, and why I was meant to do it. I didn’t want to exist. I simply didn’t have the energy. I couldn’t conjure up emotions, nothing real anyway. I just felt nothing. I never felt suicidal, never did anything to harm myself, never wanted to. I knew and continue to know that I never wanted to die. I really just wanted to feel quiet, numb, not of the earth and those are very scary feelings. I could barely put them into words for when I talked to my therapist but I tried, but all she could tell me was to find distractions for myself. Distract, distract, distract, well that’s all I’ve been doing and I don’t feel better. I listened to music, wrote music, talked to my mom, pray, do my class work, scroll through social media, but what then? When alls said and done, the music is off, the conversation is over, the work done, the phone turned off, I was left with myself and I didn’t even recognize her. My mom said she saw a light in my eyes she hasn’t seen in a while but I had no idea what she was talking about. Whatever was on the outside wasn’t being transferred to the inside because I didn’t even know who was staring back at me in the mirror. I just knew she didn’t want to be here anymore. So what now?

When Dan showed us the calendar with the little emoji emotions over the days of the month, I swear my heart stopped for a moment because it reminded me of what I started doing for myself during that same time period, that very same year he was referring to in the show. I had downloaded this app, Hallow, it’s a catholic prayer app. Scripture, guided prayers, saints stories, the whole nine yards. I liked the little guided prayers. Helped me focus I guess. And every night I’d ask for the same thing. To feel better. To be healed. It also had a little section where you could track your mood for the day so I started doing that everyday. I wasn’t thinking too hard about it I just hit the emoji I felt and moved on. Until I started noticing a pattern of hitting, sad, anxious, worried, or unsure. Soon enough I had months upon months, just days filled with those same emojis. When I actually took a step back, just like Dan did, to stare at how my months were covered in little sad emojis it broke me more than I thought it ever could. Was this all that was left for me? Days that left me feeling dejected and dark? Why wasn’t anything I was doing enough to make me feel better, to make me feel something for my life, for this world around me. Every night pleading the same questions to God, why, why, why? Just begging to be healed.

One day in 2021, I felt hopeless, I was tired, drained, and I truly did not know what to do. I just wanted to feel. So I stopped begging God to fix me and I started talking instead. And I talked and talked about everything and nothing all at once. I told Him about my day and what had happened. I told Him about the little anecdotes, my classes, the walk I went on. I told Him what I felt during the day, the big feelings and the little feelings. As I recounted my day and all the little details, I know it sounds ridiculous, but I felt lighter. For the first time in a long time, I was not focused on the big scary black hole of my mind, the void, I spent time talking about what my day had looked like and what I knew was on my schedule for tomorrow. It grounded me. And it was just that. I wasn’t focused on the void, I was focused on the living I was doing despite the void and there was something beautiful about that realization I have never been able to put into words until I watched Dan’s show. God was not not healing me because I did not deserve it or because I was so helpless, for it was only when I was at my lowest that I let myself let go and speak freely outside the confines of asking for the same thing over and over again without changing my mindset. It was only through those open ended conversations that I found and was confronted with the events of my life, no matter how big or small. The void, my depression, my traumas, whatever I want to call them, they are always going to exist, they are a part of my and I can’t change anything about that. But my life, my 24 hours a day, that time will pass regardless of if I choose to dwell on the darkness or not, so might as well spend my time enjoying the light that clearly exists as well. So that is what I started to do.

It is a choice that I have to make each day when I wake up. To decide to be an active participant in my life rather than a passive bystander. But like all things, it’s an attitude that can be learned, adapted, and over time it did not feel like a chore to make that choice, but a pleasure. For once, I started to look forward to the future and excited for what I could do. I found a church where I could attend mass so I would stop sitting in my room and watching online, I started to push myself to make plans outside my comfort zone and learned to not just like my own company, but enjoy the silence of being alone. The one project I am particularly proud of is my second Instagram account dedicated to romanticizing my life. Everyday, for now nearly 2 1/2 years, I have posted a photo on that account of the places I’ve been, clothes I’ve worn, and experiences I have been on. It’s my own personal photo diary proving that I have been living and that I will be continuing to live.

Photos and daily reflection have been the cornerstone of my improvement which was why that segment of Dan’s show impacted me so greatly. Each small clip he shared was probably only a second or so long but each moment held such great joy and emotions that could not be contained. It was and will continue to be a reminder that there will always be moments of joy and moments of happiness that will exist even in the face of adversity, we just have to work to see them, and choose to accept them as our own. Some days can certainly be harder than others, but after years of feeling nothing but the heavy weight of despair, even just the memories of joy are enough to encourage me to move forward. I’m alive for a reason and I believe and trust in God’s plan for me, so I choose and, now, feel empowered to continue on.

Dan was right when he said that we are all doomed. And there is this void in my life that I have learned to embrace and not just ignore. But this life was not meant to be survived, but to be lived. And I, now, have the courage to choose to live everyday.

Thank you to @danielhowell for sharing a part of yourself with the world. For creating a show that encourages us to acknowledge every part of our lives, the good, the bad, the ugly, and to show the importance of embracing every aspect of our lives while we continue our journey. Thank you for encouraging me to share my story and my journey through mental health. I have never shared my story like this before and it has been an unbelievably cathartic experience and I feel renewed in my promise to continue to choose to live.

Thank you🖤

#dan and phil #dnp #daniel howell #dan howell #danisnotonfire #dan and phil renaissance #we’re all doomed #embrace the void #have the courage to exist #embrace life #finding purpose #catholic #catholiscism #mental health #mental illness #how to be a human being #we aren’t alone #thank you

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autistic-ben-tennyson · 2 months

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When you see a great essay defending the prequel Jedi from bad faith criticism and treats Anakin as the baby killing, wife beating fascist he is.

Then you see that the OP is a conservative Christian, Zionist, transphobic etc.

Like how do you make great posts about fascism and genocide for a fantasy series then support fascism irl? Bonus points if they claim people who don’t like the Jedi are atheists projecting their trauma from Catholicism onto the Jedi and act as if Buddhism or any non Christian religion has never been weaponized for evil which they have which does not make them bad btw. Like guys, I know we all hate the bad faith criticism of the Jedi, but you could be a bit more sensitive to people who do have trauma. Religions including the ones tumblr progressives romanticize can have overlap in their beliefs and practices. This isn’t the 2000s anymore and many atheists aren’t like the Dawkins “new atheist” Redditor types and are aware that not all religions are American evangelicalism. I’m an atheist and I like the prequel Jedi and agree with their philosophy on being mindful and not treating people as objects. Ironically, many Anakin apologists are right wing Christians who hate the Jedi for not conforming to trad nuclear family dynamics. I love my wholesome space wizards but I don’t like some of the fans who ironically are not very Jedi like by dog piling anyone with different perspectives or hold prejudice towards certain people when that’s not how a Jedi acts.

@apostate-in-an-alcove

#star wars #jedi positivity #pro jedi #ex religious #ex christian #vent post #this is about #beginnerblueglass #Smhalltheurlsaretaken #tarisilmarwen #call out post

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monstersinthecosmos · 2 years

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I'm not really thrilled about some of the conversations I see in VC fandom around asexuality. This isn't at all new, in fact I remember someone being quite rude to me about it in fandom like 4-5 years ago, and honestly acephobia is so common on Tumblr anyway, especially with so much of the Radfem-Lite rhetoric that's been adopted in fandom spaces. Like if you're a TERF/radfem I know I'm not gonna change your mind and the best we can all do is block you and ignore what you have to say LOL but. I think a lot of the conversation I see comes from places of ignorance, and while meaning well, can feel very invalidating and hurtful to asexuals.

Basically, I think younger folks in fandom need to understand that ace identity is still fairly new, especially considering how old these books are. I mean even AR herself spoke often about how she was genderfluid or non-binary without once ever adopting it as an identity. Perhaps she wasn't aware? I barely expect regular people TODAY to know about asexuality. I have to explain it every time I come out to somebody. I don't expect 20, 30, 40 year old novels to get it. Like, I read them as a teen and I remember being so excited to see characters in love with each other and attracted to beauty without it being sexual. I loved it so much and it made me feel less weird. But I didn't identify as ace until well into my 20s because I didn't know it was a thing.

So basically, I don't want to hear that VC vampires aren't asexual. Even if it's imperfect or unintentional, there is room for that reading. It's a valid read. You don't have to invalidate the aces in fandom by denying it so loudly. The way you read the book isn't the ONLY way to read it, and there's space for everybody. And no one is asking you not to read your version or have your headcanons. You can do all those things without telling ace fans that they're wrong.

Like, I'm not here to give a sex ed lesson, but asexuality is a spectrum and tons of ace people experience split attraction models. So yes, vampires can be asexual (because they don't have sex) and also be pansexual/panromantic (because they have an emotional or aesthetic attraction.)

In the whole "all vampires are pansexual" vein, it's this thing in the universe that they are no longer restrained by human social constructs. They love everyone, they can be attracted to anyone. But similarly, they don't have sex, and that attraction is not sexual in nature. Asexuality does not mean celibacy, but it does mean you are not experiencing sexual attraction.

(There is of course space here to translate what hunger/Blood means in regards to sexuality and I get that. You can read it more than one way. My point is that you don't have to invalidate aces to share your opinion.)

And, just as an aside, asexuals are queer so it doesn't make the book any less queer. (But that's just the radfems in the room speaking, girl bye!)

I'm 1000% aware that the asexuality lore was born from Anne playing with Catholicism concepts and I don't think she wrote them intentionally to be ace rep, but ace people read these books and feel seen and relate to them and I just think in some of these fandom conversations it wouldn't hurt to be more sensitive to these other takes, because it was personal for us too.

#wow i didn't even tag this post and it only took 45 seconds for acephobia to show up in my inbox #love that for me on a monday!#asexual vc

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thegreatzombieartisan · 1 year

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Rings of Power + Tolkien Fusion Meta

“Touching Darkness & Other Mormon Influences

Within the context of Sauron x Galadriel, the whole “touching the darkness” motif is very hot. However, it felt somewhat “off” as a main show theme. To be clear, it’s not bad thing in terms of storytelling for viewer experience. I like it. Just hmm 🧐

Here’s why: Tolkien may write a world where goodness can come from unexpected places, beauty can arise from tragedy, and people achieve great things to combat evil. Since his work is Catholic, he’d never create a world where evil things are necessary for life to change, grow, and thrive. In fact, few characters in lore “touch darkness” and return to the Light.

Case in point, Galadriel’s rejection of Sauron’s proposal. Canon demands it. While positioned as an act of empowerment, declaring him irredeemable actually reflects the darkness, the woundedness within her. She need not personally forgive Sauron. A Tolkien-esque redemption arc requires espousing “pity for the Devil”. To him, not even orcs are beyond forgiveness - should it be sought. To challenge this is to challenge Eru Illuvatar Himself (a Christian God).

Presumably, complicated grief diminished Galadriel’s empathy. It’s restoration, perhaps it’s already planned within her arc. RoP show runners claim they’re incorporating Tolkien’s themes, so we should see her pity Sauron, Adar, and orcs as part of her maturity. But I’m skeptical that show runners will as Tolkien would. We’ll see.

"Touching darkness" reflects show runner JD Payne's Mormon beliefs

Naturally, a creative’s belief system and biases will influence their work. JD Payne confirms:

The gospel affects you as a person, and that affects everything you do….I feel it’s the same way with being a Mormon screenwriter [source]

In hardcore Mormonism, the Fall of Man had to occur in order for there to be mankind. Mortal life is a test for spirits, the God they believe created us was similarly tested, and so “touching the darkness” is necessary.

Some other notable Mormon-y influences points:

Elves as Mormon Church Elder-like. According to Ex-Mormon/Mormon Haladriels and subredditors: ritualistic disrobing ceremony of the Elf warriors on the ship to Valinor and instrumental music gives strong Mormon temple vibes.

Handcarts of the Harefoots part tells with pioneers are A Thing in Mormonism. Other cart types could’ve been chosen, just an observation.

White robes of the three (likely) Maiar sorceresses who appear to be members of Sauron’s RoP version of Melkorism

All the singing. Mormon founder Joseph Smith said the “the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me”. Thus, singing when Galadriel sails toward Valinor. Nori’s wandering song seemed akin to Tolkien’s wandering song. Disa singing is not a lore dwarf ritual but valid creativity in blank spaces.

@pursuitseternal Thoughts on this?

I’m acceptably versed in Catholicism (not a theologian) —not Mormonism. If you are a Mormon TRoP fan, feel free to weigh in the comment or DM

Thank you for reading! Your likes and reblogs are appreciated. Got feedback?

What did you like? Got theories or insights to share?

Disagree? I love good faith debate and sparring!

Need clarity on points? Got feedback on readability?

Spot an inaccuracy? Hey, Tolkien's work is complex. Drop it in comments or DM.

#adar #saurondriel #doylist #critique #rings of power #galadriel #Sauron #trop meta #theological

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ewingstan · 1 year

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top 5 favourite characters in any piece of media ever?

Oh Christ*. I doubt I could do real justice to this, but lets see if I can at least list in no particular order some of the characters I most like that have at least an orthogonal connection to this blog.

Rachel Lindt: Look, getting through the early parts of Worm were rough for me. Everything seemed a bit too exaggerated and ham-fisted, WB hadn't really learned how to do prose, and the only thing keeping me going was remembering that my cousin recommended it a while back and that that some out-of-context posts I'd seen from blastweave made it sound like it had some interesting ideas. But one of the early inexplicable hooks the story got into me was introducing this character who'd seem from a distance like another stock bully character, and almost immediately making me think "wait, I wanna see what he does with her. There's something there." And then there was! There's just something so satisfying about all her interactions with Taylor throughout the whole story; to the extent that I basically divide the story by the different periods of their relationship. She's everything.

Also, my posting about her was some of my first interactions with wormblr. Which is also the first fandom I think I could say I'm actually a part of? Like, there's plenty of things I'm a pretty huge fan of, I even have another fandom sideblog I started before this, but Worm got me actually posting instead of just passively reblogging for pretty much the first time. And Rachel got me there! So I have her to thank for answering this question at all in the first place.

Harrowhark Nonagesimus: The first character I liked in a blorbo kind of way, if that makes sense. Like, there's plenty of characters who I love, or who make the stories I love shine, or who I always had a fun time thinking about. But Harrow as a character just cracks open my brain in a way nothing else does. The Necromancy. The goth space Catholicism. The theatricality. The general horribleness. The specific combination of overwhelming presence and sad shitsack vibes. The specific combination of genius and ingenuity coupled with the crushing stubbornness and lack of creativity. Its not even like a key sliding into the lock in my heart, its like a lockpick that's clicking through all the tumblers in my heart-lock and revealing it for the flimsily-built masterlock-ass shit it is. I never used to get people who talked about how a character inspired them to pick up a hobby or take up an interest in something. But I ended up reading Lolita because of how much I loved Harrow! I started getting into Nabokov as a whole and finding one of my favorite writers because of Harrow! Nothing else does that to me! Which itself leads to...

Rose Lalonde: Did Harrow have a precursor? She did, indeed she did. In point of fact, there might have been no Harrow at all had Muir not loved, one summer, a certain initial witch-teen. In a comic by Hussie. Oh when? About as many years before GtN was written as my my age was that year. You can always count on my favorite characters for a fancy prose style.

No but Rose's verbose prose style really did cement her as one of my favorite characters. Like Bitch, she's a character that got me into an overly-long work I wasn't sure I wanted to tackle. I had attempted to start Homestuck a few times before I actually got into it, and the early computer-game jokes and user-submitted prompts weren't really engaging me. I did not see myself enjoying reading about John futzing around in his room for a few thousand pages. But man oh man, when the narrative switched focus to the literally purple-prosed kid obsessed with Lovecraft, I was ready for whatever the story wanted to do. I related to her and idolized her instantly. When I reread Homestuck much later, I related to her for much less complementary reasons. I have a particular (read: grating as hell) speaking style that's a result of being a kid who both thought of himself as smarter than everyone and was completely unsocial to the point of barely being able to have a conversation. I sound like an analytic philosophy paper written by an undergrad who's not invested in the topic or the course but who really wants to sound like he knows what he's talking about. The unique and specific character voices in Homestuck are the best part of the work for me, and when I first read Rose, I was basically reading who I wanted to be. And reading her later and realizing all the ways she's just a dumb kid makes me think of all the ways I was just a dumb kid, and how I'm trying to get to a place where I can converse with someone and feel comfortable without being condescending.

Look, there's a reason that despite Dave and Karkat having all my favorite moments in the work, I ended up owning two pairs of Rose t-shirts. And its the same reason I have a Ninth House outfit.

Kaladin Stormblessed: What if there was a story about trauma giving you superpowers fueled by bonding to an alien intelligence, but instead of the bonded spirit driving you towards self-destructive behavior it tried to make you into the best version of yourself? I've already talked a bit about how the Stormlight Archives has a surprising number of similarities to Worm, and reading it when I was a young teen probably contributed to developing the sensibilities that made Worm click for me. Plus, the cosmere was my first real multi-property media I got into, so it probably preempted me getting into comics as well (which this blog is also theoretically about). Speaking of—

Roberto da Costa: Feel weird about this, because I'm not even very familiar with the original Claremont stories he originated from. But the Al Ewing stories I read with him were some of the first Marvel comics I read at all (USAvengers was a weird-place to start that journey, tell ya hwat), and he set the tone for what modern big-two comics could do well perfectly. There's a lot of obvious problems with the eccentric billionaire hero archetype, but he's the best of that type of character. And while Ewing has written much better comics than the New Avengers/USAvengers runs he first used Roberto in, those stories were the ones that got me interested in Ewing in the first place. And I initially made this blog as a comics subblog devoted to his work! So again, this blog wouldn't really exist without Sunspot.

Special mention to: The March Hare+Doormouse. Putting them together because my parents met while playing them in their college theater program. Owing my existence to these characters means they probably deserve at least a mention. Also Jessie Pinkman and Sylvester Lambsbridge and Clint Barton and Saint Perpetua and Celestina the Witch and Smurov from Nabokov's "The Eye" and Quentin Brooks from Eidolon Playtest and the fictionalized version of Al Swearengen from Deadwood and Sister Carpenter from "The Silt Verses" and—

*No, I'm not putting him on the list.

#apologies for the extended lolita bit #especially for the horrible 'the sea'/'Hussie' rhyme I should have my keyboard taken away for that #ask game #leo says #i prolly got too personal with some of that sorry gents #also somehow all the characters I put on the official list were ones I related to or who got me into a sprawling work #while nearly all the special mention characters were conniving tricksters who get over their head but still end up looking damn impressive #so I guess that's the two ways to be my favorite character? Be a lovable huckster or be an uncomfortable reflection of my past self

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bread--quest · 1 year

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declaring the sixth house honorary space jews. i know everyone in this book is like doomed to christianity (one of the many fucked up things about this universe) but i know in my heart they would have LOVED torah study

#wow look something original!!#fan: space catholicism #< its called space catholicism for a reason......yet even here i believe. judaism can be real

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raxistaicho · 1 year

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Faroreswind Buddhism anon

So a while back, user faroreswind answered an anon ask from someone familiar with Buddhism. I thought it’d be interesting to respond to the ask.

Original post here.

Ordinarily I’d reblog it, but the original is ridiculously long, so my reply will also be very long and thus take up enormous space. I’ll also not be replying to everything because a good chunk is just background on Buddhism which is fascinating but not super relevant, because I’m more interested in what the anon has to say about Buddhism as it directly pertains to Three Houses.

And also, a good chunk is just assertions that I’m also not super interested in addressing.

First, just a couple bits of faroreswinds’s reply:

I know myself and other mutuals have stated that the Church in Houses is no representation of the Catholic Church, as others have insisted upon.

Ugh, right. There's not many Catholics in Japan today so the Japanese aren't very familiar with Catholicism!

I'm not saying it's a perfect representation, but the comparisons between the Church of Seiros and Christianity and Catholicism are there to be looked at:

-In ancient times, the creator god was better-known by the people, and in modern times hides from them. (God or His angels used to appear before chosen people quite frequently throughout the Old Testament. This clearly doesn't happen now.)

-The creator god once came down physically, was betrayed and murdered, and their second coming is expected by the faithful. (The general Jesus story)

-Drinking of the blood of a divine figure as a motif for communion with that figure (Rhea's ritual for inducting people into the higher offices of the Church of Seiros bears eerie similarities to the Eucharist)

-A cataclysmic flood in the backstory

-A place of torment in which sins are washed clean

-Tying the two together, a dichotomy of judgement by fire and water.

-Sothis has a very Old Testament-like do not under any circumstances turn the other cheek way of doing things. You gain support with her if you show no mercy to the rogue in Abyss after the mission to fight Kostas.

Now obviously the Church of Seiros isn't the most profound comparison to the Catholic Church, but the similarities are hard to ignore unless you think the Japanese just aren't familiar with Catholics and Christianity, which would... indicate some ignorance of history...

Now, getting to the actual anon post. Yeah, I suspect Anon will never see this, and they probably won't respond even if they do, but I've touched on the Buddhism stuff pretty frequently thanks to Fantasy Invader, so I think it's an interesting subject to tackle anyways.

Churches and “churches” in jrpgs are often just window dressing to add plausibly western details to a plausibly western high fantasy inspired setting,

I would totally agree with you when it comes to examples like Tales of Phantasia, but the Church of Seiros clearly isn't window dressing.

but even if they include crosses and saints and cathedrals the central trappings are very much not western at all and western consumers of japanese products often forget that, especially because japan has a very strong japanizing filter they run almost everything through.

I actually think IntSys is better about this than most series. For instance, the very first game had a very Greek thing going for it (all the Regalia names, Marth's name, the Pegasus Knights, Marth's lack of pants). It took until Awakening to finally get a clear-cut Wutai-like region (I wouldn't count Isaach, since there's a lot of Irishness to it), which is an impressive space of time away from the roots of the series.

Fans tend to dismiss the general plots of Fire Emblem as the cast fighting and killing an evil dragon-god but they forget a single crucial detail to that: the evil at the end reminds the characters that as long as humanity has evil in its hearts and continues to make the same mistakes over and over again, then evil will inevitably return and so the cycle of fighting and hatred will start again.

[Alm, Marth, and Celica] are heroes but they are unable to break the karmic cycle.

That's not that wide a central theme of the series, actually. Medeus and Loptous are the two villains who say that phrase before going down, and they both happen to be (former) Archanean Earth Dragons. Given their shared hatred for humankind and their shared background, it's not at all unusual that it's a philosophy they both hold to, whether through coincidence or not.

In Fire Emblem's specific case, evil doesn't arise again because humans have a cork in their chakras (had to steal a joke from Logicked, lol) but because the old generation (and sometimes even the current generation!) growing complacent and failing and the youth having to correct their failings is a recurring theme in this franchise.

The leaders of Valentia, human and dragon alike, fell to their own decays so Alm and Celica had to take them out and improve the continent, Adrah disassembled the Shield of Seals so Marth had to restore it, ALL the leaders at the start of Mystery of the Emblem fail in various ways, Marth included, the old generation in Genealogy grew corrupt, Sigurd's generation failed to stop them or were party to their failings, and Seliph's had to right the wrongs.

Duty to the people and what it means to fail that charge, leaving the young to take it up anew, is a central theme of this series.

Lastly, "As Long as There is Evil" is a trope. That's how well-known it is. We humans are very aware of our own failings and how we cause trouble for ourselves.

Anon then goes into Fates for a little bit, and I just wanted to correct a point:

Anankos enjoyed both heavenly and earthly pleasures but being steeped in them too long made him decay, make costly mistakes that only made him more angry and paranoid instead of being able to reflect on them, and in the end became a creature of death and violence and discord who could only be released through defeat.

Anon seems to be suggesting that Anankos became a hedonist and grew corrupt through that, but this is absolutely not the case if that was the intended point. Anankos fell to madness through a biological imperative, not by any moral failure on his part or because his chakras were clogged. This is a particularly damning accusation to hurl at his feet since Anankos foresaw his own madness and set up countermeasures against himself in the past. Azura's pendant was created from his dragonstone, and Lost in Thoughts All Alone was written by him to restrain his power.

Houses especially has the basis of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, but Byleth’s personal class Nirvana, confirms also the basis for Silver Snow and the dual themes that would come better if Intsys was a more competent writer:

Byleth gets their Enlightened One class in all routes, though. It's also interesting to question who gives them the title Enlightened One.

Is it an omnipresent narrator who knows Byleth is enlightened? Except that wouldn't make any sense, given Byleth doesn't act very differently or more enlightened after fusing with Sothis. You can still choose to portray them as a dipwad when the opportunities present themselves.

Or maybe it's Rhea calling Byleth the Enlightened One because she thinks she's succeeded and Sothis is coming back any second now? I find the latter more believable.

Long paragraph coming up because there's a lot to unpack:

Byleth starts out in the realm of animals, it’s reflecting by their title of Ashen Demon and their description of being emotionless killing machines before Garreg Mach. They don’t care about much, they only focus on their immediate needs like eating and resting and whats immediately in front of them, they have no curiosity or inner awareness of themselves and their world. It is coming to the monastery that they become exposed to positive influences that put them on the correct path, they learn structure and good morals and to care for others and the game says so.

No. This is such a fractally wrong reading of Byleth's character progression that it's astounding.

So firstly, the point on Byleth starting off in the realm of animals.

Treehouse fucked it up, because of course they did, but during the opening of the game, when Sothis asks what Byleth is, she'll only accept the answer that Byleth is human.

(Source for the first, and for the second)

This is the creator goddess herself, whom fusion to allegedly represents Byleth becoming enlightened, and she's telling Byleth that they're human. As I've said in the past, the central conflict within Byleth is the dichotomy between their human and supernatural aspects, and here Sothis is telling Byleth to accept and embrace their humanity and not claim to be a ghost or an evil god.

The whole point behind Byleth's initial state is that they do care and they do have their own thoughts, but they're rendered supernaturally stoic due to what Rhea did to them and have difficulties expressing themselves or forging bonds with others. When Edelgard is in danger at Kostas's hands, Byleth throws themselves before his axe. When considering the three house leaders, Byleth peers straight through their exteriors and gleans the people they are beneath (contrast this against our lovable bimbo/himbo Shez only noticing the exterior). Byleth expresses curiosity for their students and those around them very early in the story.

Byleth is not a cold individual, heedless of the world around them and only concerned with their immediate biological needs. Indeed, Byleth is an empathic, perceptive, and thoughtful, they just have difficulties expressing it.

And it is not the teachings of the Church of Seiros that helps them improve and open up, but their bonds with their students. The game is explicit about this.

The agarthans were humans who became greedy and waged war on each other to accumulate wealth and power

I have no idea where you're getting this from. Rhea (not exactly the most reliable source...) claims humanity turned their backs on Sothis's teachings and started up wars, but we never learn what they were fighting over, or whether it was even the Agarthans who struck first.

and the goddess Sothis decided to discipline them, but then agarthans proved they were (ironically) acting like beasts by deciding that their greed was more important. They could not stand being contradicted and being told that their acts were wrong.

Sothis flooded all of Fodlan to stop them (it seems like this would have also drowned all the world, but we have no way to be sure of that). Unless literally every human living on the surface of Fodlan were evil and warring against each other, this is a very Sodom and Gomorrah-like case of an extreme over-punishment of mankind's follies.

So they plotted against heaven and chose to condemn themselves to hell (they live underground in the darkness, Shambhala is supposed to be the name of a heavenly paradise but instead they built it underground to continue their evil away from the eyes of heavens)

...No. Shambhala's original purpose is unclear, but what Shambhala became was a last refuge as Sothis drowned the surface of Fodlan beneath the ocean waters. The Agarthans didn't hide there to connive against Sothis in the shadows, they did it to survive. It's essentially a bunker. Lorenz even notes the air inside Shambhala is stale, suggesting it's air-tight to keep the flood waters out.

Edelgard acts out of ignorance like an animal or common beast, her vision cannot see past her own immediate desires and so she acts on that ignorance and her own selfishness.

Oh boy, "Edelgard doesn't know the truth of Fodlan," again, it never gets old! Except it did. Ages ago.

Edelgard's immediate desire is to lock herself in her room eating sweets. Starting a war that tears at her is the opposite of selfishness.

But what condemns her to hell, what turns her into an evil demon instead of remaining a selfish yet innocent animal is that she turns away from many people imploring her to listen to them and that her actions are wrong and that she is causing suffering.

The only person I can think of who implores Edelgard to stop is Dimitri late in Azure Moon. Rhea mostly just declares she'll kill Edelgard in the most gruesome way possible, and Seteth and Claude urge her to surrender at the last moment.

Now Byleth and especially Silver Snow has shown they rose to being qualified by the good influence of the church and its teaching (even if the game doesn’t show much about those teaching but o well)

Right, because the teachings aren't narratively important. The church is a false religion created by Rhea to keep control and peace over Fodlan until she could resurrect Sothis. Byleth is not improved as a person through following the moral teachings of the church, but through connecting to other people, predominantly their students.

But especially, because the realm of asuras and beasts represent laziness, easy temptations, ignorance and immediate gratification opposed to discipline, hard work, introspection, and renunciation, it makes it more significant when byleth decides to sever ties with her when she reveals that she has not been an innocent student but in fact the flame emperor responsible for the many evil deeds along with the cooperation from agarthans.

So essentially, because Edelgard's fallen onto the wrong path and is spreading pain to others, Byleth should abandon and stop her.

So what about Azure Moon, then? Over the time skip, Dimitri has fallen onto the wrong path, abuses Byleth and his former friends at every turn, spreads pain to those around him, and is leading them on a pointless suicide march, yet Byleth is rewarded for staying at his side and trying to help him by eventually getting through to him despite Dimitri demonstrating no signs of response until the very last moment. If abandoning a student on a wrong path is the ideal way, Byleth should also turn on Dimitri and be "punished" if they don't.

The act of renouncing such ties in order to enact justice and follow the correct path is what immediately qualifies Byleth to Nirvana and why they keep their divine traits on every path except Crimson Flower (where in Crimson Flower, killing Rhea, their final and most egregious act of violence against heavenly principles, condemns them to losing their divinity and turning back into the Ashen Demon, they lost themselves to the temptations and ignorance represented by Edelgard,

How is killing Rhea in that context a bad thing? By that point, Rhea's fallen so far into paranoia and madness that she'd rather set Fhirdiad on fire, killing every man, woman, and child living inside it, rather than accept a peaceful surrender.

Also, Byleth does not lose divine favor or whatever by killing Rhea: they are still capable of S-support Sothis (the scene even has a specific provision for Crimson Flower) during which Sothis reaffirms her adoration for Byleth.

Crimson Flower is the only route in which Byleth embraces their humanity, as Sothis told them to in the opening minutes of the game.

safflowers are used to dye the robes of monks but red spiders lilies grow on the banks of the river of the dead).

I think you just accidentallied your sentence there. Also, Safflowers have a positive connotation: Safflowers symbolize “good luck and happiness”. In folklore they were thought to be useful for attracting love or marriage. And what do red spider lillies have to do with Edelgard? Is it because they're a red flower?

Because they are not the Buddha but are close to reaching enlightenment they achieve a very high position in Buddhism, which is staying in the human realm as a guide in order to help others on the correct path as well and is righteous.

Heh, what'd I say about Edelgard detractors stealing our arguments?

This is also why i have many more issues with Shez than I do Byleth actually, maybe Byleth is silent but they have their own path to follow. Shez has no path and I’m not even sure what they are supposed to represent. Their personal class is asura, often clashing with devas and representing lack of reflection and selfishness and gratification and violence like I said before, but I can’t find anything in Shez story that actually says anything about that or their preferences and choices.

It's almost like the Buddhism symbolism has a habit of just being window dressing without much meaning.

Two out of three times they stray from the correct path and Rhea’s death should mean a violation of dharma because the agarthans have won, but I saw nothing in the game about immediate consequences of that violation or the causing of suffering Shez incorrect paths are causing.

That's because they don't win. They might arguably win in Golden Wildfire provided you kill Byleth because then Sothis is dead and Thales lives, but Scarlet Blaze ends with both Rhea and Thales presumed dead, or at the very least badly hurt and with their respective organizations routed and disorganized.

I've said it before, but Thales's plan doesn't end with Rhea's death. It ends with the surface Fodlanders wiped out and Fodlan back under Agarthan control. He doesn't get this in Crimson Flower or Scarlet Blaze.

So yeah, that's my thoughts on the Buddhism symbolism. Again, I don't expect the anon to read this or even reply, but I was interested in responding anyways. Later!

#Fire Emblem Three Houses #fire emblem three hopes #Edelgard von Hresvelg #edelgard positive #edelgard discourse #faroreswinds #buddhism

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child-of-hurin · 1 year

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yours tags going (#i honestly believe fandom could be healed if there was a ban on thinking about the feanorians for a mere two weeks#challenge: engage with the vast world of the legendarium without mediating everything through these five tertiary characters#sorry. six).............i've been peripherally aware of the silm for YEARS and never read it because the people i was around (feanorian stans of a certain strain....) made it sound like the dullest and most flat, classics-y, interchangeable thing, that had nothing in common with lotr or the haunting things around its edges. after reading excerpts from your blog and other actually good blogs i finally read the whole silm last week and it was incredible, i barely thought about the feanorians once the entire time unless they were being put in front of my face by the text, but that's ok because they take up so little pagetime. (feanor was better than all his sons put together and he still wasn't in my top 10). absolute delight of an experience <3

🥺💖 I am SO happy my soon blogging helped in any way convince you to give it a chance, and that you didn't regret it!! It IS a delight, no???The feeling of vastness & time in it are arresting to me, I feel invited to inhabit sentences and paragraphs, and I think it has such a delicate/skilled touch on the cosmology of it all -- which I also feel in LOTR! I would not enjoy it nearly as much if it was a parable, which is how soooooooooooo many fans around here seem to see it as... zzzz

I think Feanor + Feanorians work so well in the text for what they are meant to be and for the space they are given tbh, like, whenever I manage to dodge most of the fandom for a while, I remember I truly, honestly appreciate them, and even what some fans do with them! (They're none of them my top ten either though ^^)

The classic-y thing gets me, god, I think it's because that's the cultural lens so many bloggers here primarily have to look at stories that they take it for granted. Obviously, unavoidably, unapologetically , there's a lot of classics inspiration in it, but Tolkien's inspirations and aspirations with this work are essentially, avowedly and perceptibly other mythologies. That's not just Tumblr either, some months ago a friend was live blogging this published essay that tried with all it had to shoehorn meaningful parallels between The Fall of Gondolin and the Aeneid.

It also annoys me immensely when people act like this book is essentially a Catholic fantasy -- that can be a relevant lens to look at free will vs fate in Tolkien (avowed by the man himself in some extra-canonical texts), but not when looking at the Ainur, for example, or specific storylines and characters. No offense to people who find real meaning in it, but statements like "Earendil/Aragorn/Frodo is Middle Earth's Jesus" and "Galadriel is a Marian figure" are to me proof of lazy thinking and/or fundamental ignorance of catholicism :/

#and i heard the latter from two theology students one of which was a seminarist!! it's no joke #but that's also tied to [redacted bc i know better than discuss religion 1. online 2. on Tumblr 3. on an anon post]#anyway this message made me sooo happy bc for the past few months I've been wondering if maybe my silm blogging days should be over #since often contact with the anglo fandom at large just alienates me #if I follow you & you're reading thsi & you post abt the Feanors: it's not about you!#no amount of fondness could make me keep following someone who blogged about them in a way that bothered me ⚰️#silm #wankish #sorta

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gravehags · 8 months

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thinking about my exposure to religion as a child

I’m very privileged to say that all my interactions with religion growing up were positive. I was only ever around Catholicism and that’s mainly because my Portuguese babysitter would bring me to church with her. I loved it, even as a kid. To this day the smell of a Catholic church puts me in this wonderful, nostalgic state of mind. The incense, the wood of the pews, the occasional bouquets of flowers left at shrines for Mary. I wouldn’t pray when I’d go with her - for one I didn’t know how and I was too busy looking at all the beautiful art and architecture in the space though I suppose in a way I was contemplating. The stories depicted were unfamiliar to me, an unbaptized bastard child raised with no religion, but I enjoyed looking at them all the same. And the way my heart would fill whenever I’d glimpse an image of Mary. I’m still not religious but to me Mary transcends religion. She’s just so special and I get so much comfort from her. So there I’d sit and imitate my babysitter, standing when she stood, kneeling when she knelt (though even my five year old knees hated this.) Just some thoughts because I can smell my myrrh candle and I wore my Mary pendants today. Being raised outside of religion is a trip, I can only imagine what it’s like to be raised within it. Anyway here I am, the rare Ghost fan with no religious trauma. Just a simple heathen who loves both Mary and the Devil.

#personal #don’t reblog

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wichitalk · 11 months

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mandatory disclaimer that i don’t hate fanfiction, i don’t write it and haven’t read it in like ~3 years but i don’t have any problem w fan content.

with that being said as the child of a writer and a writer/illustrator myself as well as an academic, it boggles my mind to see people unironically treating ao3 and fanfiction as equivalent to the library of alexandria and classic literature. while fanfiction is not without its merits and i am not judgemental of those who participate in the medium, we much accept that no matter how good it is, destiel fanfiction will never have the same cultural impact or potential to be on the same level as like, animal farm. when you write fanfiction you are using someone else’s character and world building to fulfill a story that you want to tell. and that’s fine! but when you take away the most difficult and labor intensive parts of writing (the acts of creating compelling and well designed characters and the world in which they reside) you are inherently drawing a thick line between your media (fanfiction) and other media (published works).

the current state of the internet creates a space in which we can acknowledge that stories like 50 shades of grey lack compelling narratives because of the fact that they once were fanfiction, and so they lack the proper introduction and building of characters that makes a story good. but at the same time there is a refusal to properly understand that this applies to ALL fanfiction, not just ex-fanfic professionally published. this syndrome is how you get people saying that dante’s inferno is the same as superwholock fanfic, because dante took inspiration from the impact of catholicism on the world at the time (often misinterpreted as “bible fanfiction” by people who have actively never read inferno).

#wilbur.txt #my credentials are once again my father being a famous author. my college degree. and my own work as a writer and illustrator lmao

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ghostlenin · 1 year

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Avalon (Better Late Than Never Promo)

Back in February - 80 days ago, according to itch - I released my third FIST supplement. This time it stretches the system out to a medieval hack-n-slash, swapping out Cold War mercenaries for Arthurian knights, and I've called it Avalon.

I'm really quite pleased with this one! Since this has been out for a bit - and has also received one major update - I figured I'd reflect on the design process and what I was aiming for mechanically with this one.

Design

The idea for this came up organically: what if FIST but knights. That's a solid high concept pitch, so I went for it. I've long been a fan of arthuriana, the grail cycle, old myths, and subversions or reinventions of the old stories. For this though, I wanted to play it more straight-up than revisionist, more grounded than fantastical, since the thrust of the FIST system is to make combat-focused chaos engines.

So when it came to dealing with things like magic and dragons, I figured I'd shoot for a matter-of-fact presentation. The fantastic in Le Morte d'Arthur is just there, no explanation, no in-depth discussions of the repercussions of magic existing in society; wizards do magic, there's weird stuff in the wilderness.

I started with a couple new Traits in mind. Traits are the building blocks of FIST characters and are the source of equipment, abilities, and stat changes. These were classic things like "oh I need one for jousting", "what about where they're from", and "some that capture some of the more famous knights of the round." As I got more into my research, I wanted to include Traits that touched on what being one of the Round Table might actually look like in a combat-heavy ttrpg setting and how the church/faith aspect of arthuriana could be included in a way that was 1) not specific to Catholicism or even Christianity and 2) not required for players to engage with. I also wanted Traits that could change with, or at least track, a knight's progression through the ranks. I'll touch on how all of that came about in the next section, though.

The other major choice for players in vanilla FIST is choosing a Role, or an archetype with a personality motivation to act in particular ways that, when you do the thing, you can take an Advancement and improve your character. These quickly changed to Virtues in Avalon, and I went with the classic chivalric seven. Vices, or choosing one of the Virtues that your knight has the hardest time with, came later, but (in my opinion) cemented the feeling of an arthurian knight: the quests aren't just about the physical obstacles, they're also (or arguably, mainly) about the internal moral struggles.

After I figured out the Virtue-Vice setup, the Quests part came pretty easy, especially after I laid out the rules I'd use for myself in writing up a Quest:

A Goal connected to a Primary Virtue

A main physical obstacle

A main moral obstacle that targets a different Virtue than the Primary

The idea here was to emphasize the choices in how players resolve problems. This definitely drags FIST closer to the OSR side of things (not that it's not pretty OSRy anyway!) and gives Referees/GMs a versatile framework for building out Quests.

The Bestiary came with the big 1.1 Update, and frankly was a blast to write. Splitting it up into three tiers was a no-brainer: it makes sense to me to have a rough idea for the "combat rating" of baddies in relation to the characters, and that's why the tiers are mapped to the Rank Traits. It was also fun to come up with unique abilities, cycles of enemies that appear in multiple tiers (like the fey), and just absolutely brutal stat blocks. This was also the area where I got to plop in some of the weirder medieval woodcut images I found in the public domain--the one of the giant fish chomping on one dude while his buddy runs away cracks me up.

Mechanics

By far, the biggest thing Avalon does to advance the mechanics/system space of FIST-based games is in how I deal with Advancement, or what happens when your character levels up.

This started with an idea when I was drafting out Traits: what if there were some parts of Traits you lost when you took a new one? On the FIST discord, the group had been engaging in lots of really good discussions on topics like "how do you deal with characters that have like 8 traits" and "should I make my players retire their characters when they get too strong? and what does too strong look like?" and "how can we fix WAR DICE so people actually choose them."

What I came up with was a combination solution that tries to address these issues. First: putting a max on Advancements (12, of course) and a max on Traits (5, with some exceptions). Second: creating rules and mechanics for replacing traits. Third: codifying retirement (your knight hits the Advancement max) and replacement (your knight retires or dies and a new one takes its place).

The Traits max came first, and the rules for replacing Traits came right along with the development of this system. I wanted to do two things with this max: incentivize taking options other than Traits when you Advance and making replacing Traits an interesting choice. Many of the Traits in the finished product have a black diamond for a bullet point: this marks parts of the Trait that go away when it's replaced, and they're usually the strongest or most unique part of the Trait.

Flavor-wise, I intended to evoke the idea that as you focused your attention elsewhere, you lost access to some of the things you used to be able to do. The Origin Traits are great examples of this. If you build a character with an Origin Trait, you're declaring that they grew up away from the Castle, and they have some bonus to exploration because of it. Ex: Mountborn says that "You can scale rock faces and squeeze into small spaces with no difficulty" but you lose that part of the Trait when you replace it/as you become more integrated into the lifestyle of a Questing Knight in service to the King, you lose touch with where you came from.

I think this is the biggest innovation, and I'm proud of it!

The Advancement max had some interesting knock-on effects, so I wanted to talk about that briefly, too. At first, it was just a hard cap: you get 12, that's it. I wrote out what the Advancement options would be, adapting and expanding the options from the base game, and called it good. The rules in the Virtues-Vice section for falling and recovering from a fall provided a nice little outlet for some additional increases that didn't count toward your total to reward roleplaying the moral/inner strife part of being this kind of knight.

However, I realized that this wasn't quite enough, so for the 1.1 Update, I made a couple changes. The first was to actually add Advancement boxes onto the character sheets. The second was to bake in regular WAR DICE gains on the Advancement track. Not only is this easier to see how far along your knight is in its journey, but it also gives you regular boosts for keeping your guy alive. Quality of life improvement plus a buff, what more can you want!

I'm going to let Avalon marinate for a little bit and give it some more playing time before returning to its design space, but I do really like this project and I plan on a revisit at some point.

In the mean time, Avalon is for sale for $5 on my itch page. If you do grab a copy, give it a read and a play and then go rate it!

#ttrpg design #ttrpg #compatible with fist #arthuriana

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