The saddest thing when making tea is when the tea strainer has holes that are ever so slightly too big, so a bunch of leaves float into your drink. Not only is your tea a bit of a soup rather than it’s usual broth-like consistency, the tea strainer has failed at its one and only job. That’s its whole purpose in life. What if we are all tea strainers with the holes slightly too big?
I thought of a good way to describe my issues again: It feels like a lot of things have piled up in the last few years. My mom dying is the biggest one I'd say, but me turning 18 last year and 19 this year have also been big stressors. There's also been the tablet thing too, plus me returning to school in person last year. It's a lot. The last big thing for me is High School ending. That won't happen for a bit, but it'll be added to the pile soon enough. Sometimes (and this is slightly hyperbolic language, I suppose) it feels like I'm buried in 15 different layers of stress. But I repeat: it only feels like that sometimes. Not 24/7, but also it happens frequently enough that I'd say it's not like it's a non-existent problem. I wish I could delay high school ending, even more than I already can delay it. Because I think I can go until I'm 21 (which means another year or two), but that still feels like so little time. I hope I can go until I'm 21. I don't know what I'll do if I can't.
You ever have that feeling? As you recline in your room, ensconced beneath the safety of your covers, with your laptop aglow in hand. It's as though the world is hushing around you, just like snow softly accumulating, creating a tranquil cocoon.
It's a moment of reflection, where you begin to feel the smallness of your existence against the greater expanse of the universe and find yourself wanting.
With what am I filling the cracks that I am fitted in that bring value to my own creation? One day, under the unfeeling eye of the abyss that stares back, how do I justify the life I've lived?
I am laid bare with nothing but the weight of my sins on my back and the sting of my shortcomings etched in my skin. Yet I stand still against the waves that crash against my body and erode my mind. I stand.
"I can’t tell you all how proud I am to be the person you come to when you have an unhinged cake concept. Need a stigmata cake? I gotchu 🫡 Complete with dimensional blood drip and molded white chocolate hand #bloodycake #stigmata #jesuscake #recoveringcatholic #cakedesign #cakeswiththreateningauras #cakestagram #cakesofinstagram #cakedesign #cakecakecake #bloodcake #catholicsloveblood #caketoptuesday"
You owe it to yourself to check out Existential Crisis Cakes on Instagram.
something about “we all die alone”. but buck wasn’t alone when he died. he was surrounded by the people who love him. who saved him. that’s what brought him back. the fact that he wasn’t alone. but what happens when you die alone and no one’s there to save you?