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#everyone has seen one of those posts
bloodydrew · 6 months
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To that random post here that I saw at 5am one day and gave me the weirdest shiver and changed my way to see the world, thank you
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felizusnavidad · 6 months
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"i don't think i'll ever understand musicals the way you do" is something i've heard from one of my friends a couple of days ago when i told him i'm about to cross the whole country just to see one of those (my favourite one!) live in theatre. and i can't blame him. if you'd have told me a year ago that i would do something like that, i'd probably have laughed in your face. life is so unpredictable. i guess i have changed a lot. and i could write thousands of essays about how musicals helped me get through the shittiest period of my life, but we are not going to talk about this today. today we are talking about in the heights, the first musical i got a chance to experience live in theatre, hopefully not last. so grab a cup of coffee and make yourself comfortable, this is going to be the longest essay you've ever seen, friends.
a little warning: spoilers. a lot of them actually. so if, by any chance, you haven't seen/heard it yet and you are going to, don't read it.
first thing i feel like i need to mention is that they had this mini bar inside the theatre and you could order a lot of different drinks there and one of them was called abuela's coffee. i heard one lady explaining to someone that it's actually coffee with condensed milk. my jaw dropped and i was like CAN I STAY HERE FOREVER, PLEASE? for those who don't understand why, here's a quote from the first song:
USNAVI: abuela, my fridge broke, i got café but no con leche ABUELA CLAUDIA: try my mother's old recipe: one can of condensed milk
so this was my first "OH! THEY GET IT!" moment (a little note here: i had a lot of oh, they get it moments, mostly because i don't have any people around me who understand musicals the way i do... honestly, you'd have to live inside my brain). that was the first time ever when i could actually be in the room where it happens with all those people who get it and care about it as much as i do (mostly actors and people responsible for the whole show tho, but we will get to this later).
let's get to the show. so when i finally went inside and i saw the stage, i already had tears in my eyes (don't judge me please). usnavi's store, abuela's door, daniela and carla's salon, all those puerto rican, cuban and dominican flags (one couple behind me was trying to figure out which one is which and it was funny because i knew and i wanted to scream)... listening and memorizing the whole soundtrack is one thing. being able to experience it all live is something else. all those things around me were so familiar and this was the first time in months (MONTHS! OR EVEN YEARS!) i felt really understood. after all, it was all like a little celebration of lin's story (the one i love with all my heart) and i truly felt like home. so that was another OH! THEY GET IT! moment.
i don't think i'm going to talk about every single song here, that's not the point. i will talk about my favourite moments, but also about things that didn't work very well in my opinion (again: this was a polish version so all the songs were translated into polish. and they did a really great job here, surprisingly. but it wasn't perfect, more about that later).
one thing you need to understand is that i will never be normal about musicals so of course i had to burst into tears at the very first song (i don't even know why, i think i was a little bit too excited). i was actually crying in the most random moments like when i first saw nina or at the end of carnaval del barrio because I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT (who the hell cries at carnaval del barrio when everyone is having the time of their lives lol, me apparently).
ok, so the first song. the choreography, oh my god. it was everything. the translation was also pretty good here, i need to say this was probably one of my favourite moments. imagine me leaving today giggling like a child when usnavi came on that stage and started rapping, i was in heaven. also, i have to admit, the cast was amazing. i could never imagine anyone better for this role (and again, i am talking about polish actors because everyone knows who's the best usnavi of them all). he was cute and charming and awkward and so adorkable and also really handsome. he was actually perfect in my opinion.
i kinda lost my mind when i saw nina for the first time. first of all: i already knew who was going to play her and let's just say i fell in love with this actress before i even saw her live on that stage. this was important to me, because (as some of you know) nina rosario is my favourite character. and oh my god, she was an absolute perfection. what a voice, sweet jesus. i'm being serious, this girl is so talented, give her every award (i honestly hope i will have a chance to see her again one day, i'm just crazy about her). and breathe was so good! polish version was amazing, i was so scared they would screw it up, but they didn't, so all's good (this song is very important to me, ok?). also, she's a phenomenal actress, i could feel all her emotions for real. and of course i cried, what did you expect?
i don't have that much to say about benny, except that he was really cute and he had amazing chemistry with nina, so once again, the casting was really good. i mean, he is not chris jackson of course, but i have decided i'm not going to compare all those actors because everyone knows at this point how much i love OBC, i was trying to have an open mind. vanessa was also pretty great, amazing voice and her dancing skills, wow, just wow. i could talk about all those actors for days actually, but i'm not going to do that, so i will just quickly mention that i absolutely loved daniela and carla, abuela claudia made me cry, sonny was the funniest character in the whole play and i don't think i will ever recover after piragua guy's performance (i was the only person in the audience who was laughing when he came on that stage, they don't get it, ok? polish people have no sense of humour and that's a fact). actually, there were a lot of funny moments (obviously) and i was the only person who was laughing, god help me.
so let's get to the first thing that was a little disappointing for me. you will not believe it, but it was actually... 96,000 (this is one of my favourite songs and i seriously can't live like this). it's not the translation tho (it was honestly fine), it's the voice overlapping part at the end (again, the best thing ever, just listen to we don't talk about bruno from encanto and non-stop from hamilton and you will understand why it works so well in every lmm's song). the thing is, you could actually only hear vanessa's part and i wanted to die, because EXCUSE ME. i always sing usnavi's part and you could barely hear a word from it. but apart from that, the rest was fine, the choreography was amazing and it's just something i needed to mention because i had thoughts about it.
paciencia y fe! ok besties, i have thoughts, again. abuela claudia was absolutely incredible, also, her relationship with usnavi is something that you can't see in the movie version (they were so sweet i wanted to curl up and die. i knew about it before, i saw slime tutorial with obc on yt, ok? i'm pretty sure lin would be mad at me for watching bootlegs lol. i just wanted to say this). the translation didn't work out at the very end of the song tho, because when in the og version abuela sings about the "winning ticket", everyone knows already she won the lottery. i don't remember polish translation exactly, but it was something with double meaning, depends on how you interpret it, and i'm 100% sure people who didn't know the plot just didn't catch it. the rest of the song was absolutely beautiful tho.
when you're home. i was so afraid of this one, because i am totally crazy about this song (did i ever mention lin wrote this one after one of his first dates with vanessa? no? yes? ok i'll shut up about this now). oh, they did a really great job with it and it's a relief. i have nothing else to say, except that i was crying like a baby, but this song always makes me cry so what did you expect exactly? one of the best moments for sure. again, nina and benny's chemistry was absolutely incredible.
as much as i loved the club, i was actually really disappointed with one part, which is usnavi's famous "jealous i ain't jealous, i can take all these fellas, wHaTeVaaaaa". i've been waiting so long for this! and they messed it up with their stupid cringy translation which i don't even remember at the moment but usnavi was actually mad at benny and he cursed? ANYWAY. the rest of the song was great and the choreography was absolutely phenomenal, oh vanessa! let me get the next one! (i love her so much, she was amazing here). a little note from me: no one was laughing at the "no hablo ingles" part, NO ONE BUT ME!!! THEY DON'T GET IT! WTF! i was so mad (i am aware of the fact that most people probably didn't even know this story before and they just wanted to see a musical, not THE MUSICAL, which is totally fine. but sweet jesus, where is their sense of humour? they left it at home or what?).
and blackout was that part where the voice overlapping effect worked very well, so all's good. actually, one of the best moments for me as well. people were actually so confused when all the lights went down, but that was just so amazing. all the panic! everybody was screaming, crying! WE ARE POWERLESS! THE END OF ACT I!!! oh, i had the time of my life.
i had this weird feeling that they didn't exactly know how to translate most of hundreds of stories so they just made this song shorter than it actually is. which is fine i guess. honestly, it's better than bad translation, so i can forgive them. what i absolutely can't forgive tho is that the audience wasn't laughing at US NAVY. polish people, you have no fucking taste. i said what i said. and then again, usnavi and abuela's relationship was so sweet this song actually made me cry (mostly because i knew what was coming but also, i was just this weird girl who was sitting there in the second row and was crying at the most random moments).
ok, guys, honestly. carnaval del barrio was the best moment from the entire musical. oh, how much i want to experience it again! daniela was absolutely incredible, carla was so sweet, piragua guy stole the whole fucking show for me (seriously guys! he was just so amazing!). also, those little details i have never noticed before? i can't even tell if the same thing happened in the original version (the quality of that bootleg is actually terrible), but benny dancing with american flag somewhere in the background was so fucking funny and i don't think i will ever get over that part where at the end they were all still dancing and celebrating and nina and usnavi just ran away as fast as they could because... because you guys know what just happened. also, this is the moment i started crying.
i was so scared of it. let me tell you one thing, i experienced abuela's death at least fifty times and i still cry every single time. so atención is something i have to mention, because all the emotions and kevin's shaky voice made me burst into tears right away, and this time i wasn't the only one because i saw a lot of people crying when they realized what happened (i also heard a lot of OHs when he said abuela passed away, so yes, most of them didn't know this story and they were surprised). and alabanza was something else. believe me when i tell you i am writing this with tears in my eyes, i have never cried so much in public. this was the moment i was the most scared of and i was absolutely right because holy fuck. i was a mess. all the actors with those candles singing alabanza a doña claudia! (yes, they didn't translate it, all the spanish parts were left like in the original version and i am so grateful for that), it was just so sad and so beautiful. and this time i was actually like oh, they get it now (everyone was speechless and people were crying).
everyone must know at this point how much i adore champagne and i wasn't disappointed (thank god!). once again, usnavi was absolutely adorable here and people were actually laughing this time (also thank god!). how do you get this gold shit off? (my favourite line from the whole musical) was translated really well and the moment when usnavi and vanessa kissed! with all lights on them! this was so emotional and the audience reacted so well! we were all clapping (it was so funny to pretend like i didn't know it was gonna happen haha i was just as excited as all of them and once again i was like OH! THEY GET IT!). 10/10, would recommend.
if you think i wasn't crying during the last song, think again. one thing i absolutely hate about the movie version is that they actually changed the graffiti that made usnavi stay in washington heights, but i'm not gonna talk about that and i'm not gonna talk about vanessa also being there in the movie. in the original version it was a portrait of abuela claudia made by graffiti pete and oh boy, i lost my mind (i knew about it but i still lost my mind because it was absolutely beautiful). i got the feeling it was a little rushed in our polish version, but i can forgive them because it still made me cry. also, at the very end, usnavi did not only finally acknowledge he's home, when the song was over he pretty much told the audience that we are all home right now and may i just say... i felt that. i was home. they made me believe for the first time in my life i was where i belong, and somehow that was everything.
one thing about me is that this is actually all new to me. this was my first musical i saw live in theatre (and also lin's first child, which is exactly how it was supposed to be i think), and believe me when i tell you i've never had this much fun in my entire life, not even at all the concerts of my favourite artists. it was worth every money. it was worth spending 11 hours on the train and 11 more on my way back home, which by the way we should normalize (people are doing crazy things just to see their favourite artists on the stage and it's considered normal, so why can't we consider THIS normal?). anyway, i don't expect anyone around me to understand it the way i do, but i feel like i really found my thing, and it's all because of lin-manuel miranda, our beautiful puerto rican genius. he made me believe musicals can be cool and i truly wish i could thank him for that one day.
and like i said, in the heights is my favourite story with my favourite characters and i listened to it so many times i have memorized all the little details. experiencing it live is something completely different tho and i think it's safe to say this was the best night of my entire life. even tho most of the people in the audience didn't really get it, i finally felt like i was a part of this world created by my favourite genius and for the first time ever i felt understood. so i think i can say that now: i found my island, guys, i'm there, i'm home!
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blueskittlesart · 2 years
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I see you responded to my anon without using my anon.
That's cute, but telling of the kind of person you are.
With that being said, I'm sorry about my past few anons telling you to stfu about your interests and calling your takes retarded. Although i stand by my anon that if you're really gonna tell someone to kill themselves because they use the word "retarded" you're probably retarded, i want to tell you that i didn't realize you would take such offense to that word.
Honestly, you look like you're about 4-5 more hate posts from hitting the self delete button, so i just want to tell you that's not my intention. I really do enjoy your art and i really do think you have a lot to share. Me telling you to stfu about your niche interests was just me trying to get back at you. Truthfully i like that you have so much to share, i just felt i was being attacked because when i asked how botw was transphobic you just decided to call me stupid without addressing my question.
But to be honest you give off this energy that you're so sheltered from the real world that you forget that there's more going on in the real world than someone using the r-slur. I just want to point that out because although i know i can't change you, since you think what you're fighting for is truly just, i don't blame you for forgetting about the rest of the world. I just think you have a lot of room to grow. I hope you do grow and change and come to the realization that what you're trying to defend is definitely a priority, but we have a lot more going on.
Sincerely, the professional hater that loves you, and doesn't want to see you fail at identifying what is truly important. I get it though, to you I'm just selfish for implying that what you believe in isn't as important as what i believe in. So I'll just say i hope you do okay out there. Good luck. And stay safe.
im going to be honest i genuinely cannot read this. like idk what the hell this guy is even trying to say and also they're already blocked anyway. but if any of you maybe want to preemptively block to avoid potentially being called slurs for literal weeks in your asks among other harassment, i recommend blocking this FUCKING IDIOT! thank you everyone and have a nice night <3
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lesbiancarat · 2 years
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with cheol talking about his tattoos i want to remind everyone that it doesn't mean all the members are comfortable talking about what tattoos they may or may not have, so please respect their privacy and bodily autonomy, especially if it seems like they're trying to keep them concealed (like blurring it out of photos, etc.). there have also been members in the past who specifically didn't want to talk about the subject. remember that tattoos can be very personal and it may not be something the members want to share with carats <3
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toytulini · 12 days
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mmm. havent looked into it very far but i think we gotta cool it with the jokes about rfks brain worm. like i get your impulses there but it is ableist and im not joking about that.
his flaws that would make him a terrible president/person, are rooted somewhere besides the worm. the worm is incidental.
#toy txt post#ive only seen a couple so far but uh. this + that post going around about how many ppl are comfortable using brain damaged as an insult..#im not free of sin here ive talked about brainworms as a metaphor for bigotry or whatever and i do think the metaphor kinda holds up ?#just not. literally. when i say like fox news brain worms i mean like that worm tongue guy whispering evilness into the kings ear#in lotr or whatever. i dont think a literal actual worm is the root cause of bigotry. bigotry is not the result of a pathogen#its not a fucking yeerk. christ. those arent real#parasites cw#parasites tw#for context ive seen a couple news article headline screenshots floating around saying rfk jr has a brainworm in reference to finding a#tapeworm in his brain? which is. a thing that can happen. theres like 2 different lifecycle stages of tapeworm its possible to get#and the one everyone knows about: in your gut stealing nutrients from you. is one version.#that you get via eating meat infected with worm cysts/larval worms? and the other kind. is uh. the larval worms#you get via eating the eggs. and then they uh. infect your meat. including your brain. i dont fully remember their full life cycle in#detail but like thats like the number one biggest evidence that the Victorian fad diet of eating a tapeworm egg was like. a scam thing#you wouldve wanted to eat the baby worm for the desired effect of not getting nutrients anymore for weightloss. (dont do this)#anyway. point is he sucks bc He Sucks not bc of a parasitic infection
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dramadaisies · 9 months
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k-drama fan finds out she's going to japan and needs j-drama recs so she can get that Language Immersion™️ and doesn't accidentally speak korean because that would be bad
like very bad
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marinsawakening · 2 months
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[Timmy Turner voice] I wish every Links Meet AU that uses Marin as a phantom to haunt and traumatize Link goes to hell no matter what
#No I am not vaguing any specific links meet au bc ive already seen four different ones that do this#Fun Fact! You can give ALTTP!Link different character conflict!#That doesn't butcher the themes and ending of one of the games!#And reduce a female character and arguably LOZ's first complex character to a flat source for man angst#Marin would murder Link if she found out he was remembering her and Koholint in trauma and tragedy#Rather than treasuring its memory and celebrating its existence#GENUINELY framing Link as wildly traumatized by the events of Link's Awakening the way so many ppl do#Completely destroys all thematic coherence in the game's ending and makes it wildly unsatisfying#Yes Koholint disappearing was sad. No Link did not kill an island no it would not haunt him like a ghost#It's a treasured memory and a net positive experience! I have OPINIONS on this and I'm CORRECT#And I'm calling out Links Meet AUs specifically bc those are the biggest offenders#Of stripping everyone else of depth and focus for the sake of white boy Link#If ur lucky then Zelda still has character depth but everyone else* is shit out of luck basically#*Exceptions apply ofc#Lots of stuff that's not links meet aus also interprets Marin in ways I don't personally like#I am picky#Some of which I'd argue are just. Bad.#But at least they often make an effort with her character#Links Meet AUs are the Link Only Show tho and I'm ANNOYED bc I WANT TO LIKE THEM#I AM A SUCKER FOR MULTIVERSE SHIT. U DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THIS PAINS ME#Anyway. L + ratio + you did not consider the thematic implications of ur fanproject and it annoys me :(#My posts#Loz#Link's awakening#update when i first made this post i was genuinely not intending to single out any specific links meet aus#however i have since crunched the numbers and two thirds of the marin tag on ao3 is linked universe#and i would like to make it clear. i have no real issue with the actual comic or its portrayal of marin#mostly bc marin has not actually appeared or been addressed in the actual comic at all#however i do hope the linked universe FANDOM goes to hell no matter what
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crescentfool · 10 months
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never in my life did i think i need to makeout with a piece of software so badly but here we are i guess
#lizzy speaks#OK IM BEING OVERDRAMATIC AND I WOULD ELABORATE BUT I NEED TO SLEEP BUT#DO YOU EVER JUST#FUCK !!!!!!#IVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO COME ACROSS A PIEC EOF SOFTWARE#i need to fiddle around with it some more but everything ive seen about it is MIND BLOWING to me#ive been waiting my entire life for this moment i think#i feel like it's funnier if i don't say what the software is. i wanna be mysterious so bad but i cannot shut the fuck up#literally been suffering through notetaking and organization softwares and im like ohh i think i finally found the one#this is the minecraft of sex i think its like wowza i can finally do all those writing projects i want to do#boys (me) don't want girls they want an organized database of notes that they can easily reference at anytime#sorry for being unhinged but like its like past midnight lol im sure i'll wake up in the morning and be like 'what the FUCK were you doing'#BUT!!! i think ill come back to this post to reblog it with like actual shit about the software when i figure out how i want to use it#i think everyone should experience joys in life. and sometimes that joy is having organized notes#bonus points if anyone can figure out what im talking about just from the tags alone i think this software will change my life#it has fucking tag functionality i literally love tags#sorry about the vocabulary but this rivals like. my love of spreadsheets. which are like. a wonderful thing i think but ANYWAY IM RAMBLING#anyways goodnight i wish you all on the dash a very lovely evening i just needed to share this because im so overjoyed right now o7#if you have a software that you really like thats changed you feel free to tell me in the tags or something :) i like learning new things
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brittlebutch · 7 months
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the scene where Wuvvy rips up the letter Rue wrote to Hob after the masquerade is actually super interesting to me because it feels like another moment that really highlights the difference in how Rue and Hob approach their courts -- both of them do feel a sense of alienation from these places and people, but it's also Starkly obvious that Rue is far more isolated in that than Hob is.
Hob and the other goblins stand at a distance from each other in how much they understand one another, but Hob also still clearly has people in his court that he trusts and depends on even in just minor ways, but this scene in particular really makes it feel like Rue only knows the people in their court to invite them to the Bloom. Even if they thought to hesitate before sending that letter with Wuvvy, it doesn't matter bc they truly don't have anyone else to ask.
#N posts stuff#like after the Duel in the Southern Garden it feels like a given that Wuvvy and Hob should not be interfacing with each other lol#but Rue still gives Wuvvy that letter to deliver it to Hob bc. who else is there to ask?#whereas Hob - even if it's just because he's their military commander - has a myriad of salt goblins that he Trusts#and we know he trusts them bc he sends Them to negotiate those clandestine meetings with Binx#and even if it's a one-off line from Brennan; apparently has a whole Lineage of them that Hob is particularly close to#even though Boil and Blemish are often subtly cruel to Hob he does have several other scenes with other goblins he seems to mostly get#along with - even during the Hedge Maze he seems kind of affable with Grabalba and the others#whereas we really ONLY ever see Rue interact with Wuvvy; and that kind of Serious distance also ties into the very First episode#when Rue doesn't recognize Gwendolyn; bc Gwen didn't get her own invite - Binx stole her sister's. so rue doesn't know her#not to make these tags even longer but it's ALSO interesting to me how those goblins Hob is closest to ARE all salt goblins in particular#(yes it's Probably just bc the joke and affection for them kicked off in ep 1 BUT it is canon and so i will analyze it as such)#given that their size (& life spans probably) would Probably make them sort of The Lowest on the rung in terms of like. classes#seen as somewhat 'disposable' and so it's Neat to think of how those folk are who Hob seems to get along with the best#the single largest goblin and the smallest populace of them united in how they're viewed primarily as Tools by everyone else#d20lb
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pandoa · 1 year
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after three dreadful and excruciating months of waiting...
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justice has been served. thank you.
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seariii · 5 months
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Health update: broke the streak of waking up with a sore throat, It doesn't (or barely) hurts today. Coughing is still here and the cold air doesn't help, my back hurts from the effort of coughing. I hope I'm finally getting out of this one, I'm so tired of it
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cat-soap-opera · 1 year
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is this hashtag paranoia or do ppl not interact w me a lot on this blog in a visible way. like replies n asks n shit.
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iguessitsjustme · 1 year
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This or That ask…(again)
I don’t know if you’ve seen these dramas or even if they fall under the same type of genre, but
Secret Crush on You or A Tale of a Thousand Stars? Love in the Air or KinnPorsche?
Also, if you haven’t seen any of them, I HIGHLY recommend all four!
Hello again dear anon. Oh boy oh boy I do not know what to do with these.
Secret Crush on You or A Tale of a Thousand Stars?
I love both of these shows for entirely different reasons. SCOY and ATOATS are both two of my top BLs ever BUT if I have to choose...A Tale of a Thousand Stars. Secret Crush on You is such an acquired taste ad ATOATS is just such a gem. It's just a solid story and it was the first BL I showed my mom.
Love in the Air or KinnPorsche?
I'm gonna be real honest with you here, dear anon. I don't know how to answer this one. I have seen both and wasn't particularly a fan of either show. I get why people like these shows, I do! They just weren't for me so I'm gonna go ahead and abstain from this one.
This or That
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lesbian-space-fish · 2 years
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izzy-b-hands · 1 year
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so
now that I've blacklisted the polls correctly so i can look at them as i feel comfy to (and after blocking everyone that was using them just to be an asshole lmao)
I've been looking at them more and hearing how ppl keep waiting for the roll out
they wouldn't do it like how we had to spread the messaging feature to each other like a virus, would they?
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strangerblurbs · 2 years
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A story in which an author projects her OCD onto Eddie Munson. Featuring Steve being a helpful [boy]friend.
Sometimes words just stuck with him. Eddie wasn't always aware of when it happened, and no one else really caught on either. Often he'd hear a word, and repeat it over and over in his head. Sometimes, he'd hum it until the melody of the word left him. Most commonly, he would find himself writing out the word with his finger. He didn't always realize he was doing it, and it wasn't always noticeable until his nail accidentally dug into his skin. He'd trace words—letter by letter—, using the tip of his right index finger as a pen on the canvas of the pad of his thumb.
It wasn't typically an issue. Sure, it got annoying when his brain kept a word on loop. It hindered his thinking and focus, but he figured he kept up well enough that it wasn't an issue to share with others. The writing wasn't a social hindrance in the slightest, so he really never felt compelled to point it out to anyone. If anything, it made him feel more like he was paying attention, because he was hearing the words and writing them down. He's pretty sure he remembered a teacher once telling him writing down information would help him retain it better.
Eddie wasn't sure what to make of his habit. He wasn't usually aware of when he was doing it, only noticing when he looked down at his hand or needed to use his hand for something. He couldn't quite pinpoint why he did it either. It just happened. On several occasions when he was a little younger, he would try to pay attention to when he did the writing. He still couldn't decipher a common theme among the words or pacing. It just happened, and at this point he accepted that. He also couldn't recall doing it as a young child. It just began one day in his adolescence, and he couldn't seem to shut it off.
Steve caught him in a trance. He heard the word "freak" earlier. It wasn't in relation to him, but it was enough of a reminder of the times it had been. The word looped is his mind. Eddie's brows were furrowed, and his expression worried. He sat on the couch, legs pulled into himself, one hand under his chin, the other loosely near his face. He jolted when Steve waved his hand in his face to pull his attention. "Hey man. Where's your head at?" Steve watched as Eddie's right hand began to fidget. Not that Steve could tell, but Eddie had fixated on the word "where". Upon closer look, Steve noticed only Eddie's index finger was moving, but the motion was so quick that it caused his entire hand to shake. At the same time, Eddie acknowledged Steve's presence. "Oh, hey. Sorry. I was just thinking." He blinked a few times, lightly shaking his head as if his brain was clearing the thoughts like an Etch A Sketch.
Once Eddie looked more settled, Steve sat down beside him. Eddie couldn't figure out why Steve had such a look of concern on his face. "You do that a lot, you know. The whole stuck in your head thing. It's not bad to think, but after what you've been through—after what we've all been through—I worry when I see someone too in their head. Are you okay, man? Your hand is all fidgety, and you do that a lot too. Is that a nervous tick or something?" Eddie just stared at him for a second. After dealing with the Upside Down together, he'd learned to not trust his perception of Steve. He still hadn't expected the guy to be so caring, so perceptive.
"Uh yeah, man. I'm okay. I, uh, I was just remembering some stuff, and the thoughts wouldn't stop coming. I'm good now though." His brain ejected the word "freak", but his hand caught it. He began to write it. At this point, he knew what he was doing, but he wanted to focus on his conversation with Steve. It would be too much effort to assess the action and make himself stop, so he ignored it and continued. Steve didn't look convinced. They looked at each other for a moment before Steve began to hum. Eddie recognized it as Queen's Somebody To Love. He was going to question it until he felt warmth on his hand. The movement of his index finger stopped as he adjusted his hand to link with Steve's.
He knew the song choice was likely because Queen was one of the bands they both enthusiastically had in common, and that was nice in itself. Eddie knew Steve wouldn't understand just how perfect of a choice it was. Music had always been an outlet for Eddie, but it wasn't until the last few years that he'd realized how much the repetition of lyrics calmed him. He relaxed, unfolding his legs and leaning into Steve. As the song came to an end, he found himself humming along to the outro. His brain was still on a loop, but the song lyrics were soothing. It was a good distraction for the time being, and Eddie tried hard to stay in that moment for as long as he could.
#I'm not sure this will make sense to anyone but I needed to write it#I read a couple really poor portrayals of OCD today and considered making a post on my main blog#instead I channeled my frustration into inspiration to write#this is entirely based in my own experience#I do this frequently#I don't have a word for it and no one really has an explanation for it but I've seen online forums of people saying they do the same#I and most people attribute it to OCD#part of why I included the line about Eddie not doing it as a child is because OCD symptoms often do not appear until later in adolescence#personally I've had OCD symptoms including the finger writing since I was very young but for Eddie I wanted to write it as a development#I also didn't want to write it as an entirely negative thing#finger writing doesn't really impact my life. no one I'm around ever notices it or if they do it's not important enough to mention#I genuinely think it helps me memorize information because I'm hearing it and writing it#the repeating thoughts suck#especially when it's a bad word I'm stuck on#but I prefer word loops to the dark intrusive thoughts I also get#anyway OCD is a struggle. it is time consuming. it is energy consuming. it is tiring.#it is also extremely misunderstood and misrepresented in media#it is a real mental disorder and there many more symptoms than just the stereotype of cleaning and organization#not everyone experiences those and not every clean or organized person has OCD#do your research if you portray a mental illness you don't have and don't make generalizations#I will get off my soap box now#this piece of work is more of a vent than anything and Eddie is my outlet of projection#this made me feel better to write though#also Steddie as Queen fans supremacy#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie#steve harrington x eddie munson
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