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#ever ever met. why did i have to find such a great place to work in minnesota? well. even if i am super tired tomorrow morning itll probably
be-good-to-bugs · 16 days
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you would think considering how much it loves sleeping that my body would, yknow, sleep when i ask it to. or even just when it has barely slept in days and im trying so hard to sleep
#the bin#uugghhhh i woke up at 1pm today bc my stupid idiot body refused to go to sleep at a reasonable time even tho i was alreday so sleep#deprived. i have to work at 6:30 tomorrow morning :/ so i guess i wont be sleeping till then bc i still have to clean stuff and shower#maybe maybe maybe ill get a nap in but idk. bleh. i hope after i get home my stupid body will sleep. its gonna have to bc i work 7 hours the#next day so i cant do that too sleep deprived. i really really hope i dont have to :( hhhh#i wanted so bad to get high last night mosty bc my body has been refusing to sleep this past week but my sister n her boyfriend didnt come#over so i wasnt able to get more edibles :( or boxes for packing. hhh. i need to move so soon! i have no idea what day its even gonna be yet#i badeky have an idea of how much its gonna cost either. they finally gave me a gas cost estimate afeyr ive been asking for 3 weeks#hhh. well. whatever. i only have 4 more shifts. im kinda sad tbh. i really like working here. my coworkers are so nice#tomorrow is probs the last time ill ever see my fav coworker. shes so nice. shes so nice she used he/him for me and calls me orb#i just mentioned the name in passing once after i changed my pronouns on my nametag and she noticed and she remember!#and before she used it for me she stopped and asked if i was comfortable with it or if i wanted to keep it private. i have never EVER met#another cis person who would even think to ask that. most cis people dont understand why you would care. shes like. the nicest person ive#ever ever met. why did i have to find such a great place to work in minnesota? well. even if i am super tired tomorrow morning itll probably#be ok. butbi really would prefer not to be.#i dont know why i havent been able to sleep properly. bleh. i do liek what edibles do to me its a fun time but its kinda annoying that i#cant use them very casually for sleep or pain. they incapacitate me for 14 hours minimum.#well. at least no matter how stressed i am abt everything. i will definitely be elsewhere in 18 days max. should be less than that.#i will miss this job and these coworkers but i am relived that i wont have to go to work for awhile. esp with this tooth pain.#and im so excited to be able to draw again! im glad im moving a month before artfight bc itll give me time to get shit prepped#i wanted so bad to participate last year but i wasnt able to come evn close to finishing any attacks bc i was too tired from working
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riseatlantisss · 8 months
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The end we start from
Pairing : Astarion x female!reader/Tav Around 1,8 words Takes place after the events in Cazador's palace in act 3 (non-ascended Astarion, established relationship) Angst with a happy ending (and loooots of sex) <3
Astarion doesn’t feel good enough. you show him he’s everything.
TW : 18+ MDNI, unprotected sex, very angry/angsty/rough sex, fingering, mature language, mentions of death and depression, mentions of blood
A/N : when i don’t work, i do two things: i take care of my dog and i play BG3. i don’t eat. i don’t sleep. i don’t socialize. i just play BG3. and I write stuff about *him*.
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Astarion is many things. Quiet is not one of them. But lately, that’s all he’s been, and you’ve been worrying about him night and day. Tonight is no exception. You wake up in the middle of the night and realize two things : not only is Astarion’s side of the bed empty but the sheets and pillows are untouched, uncrumpled. His side hasn’t been slept in. This isn’t right. Of course, he doesn’t really need to sleep but he always, always lays next to you at night, spooning you, playing with your hair and whispering sweet I love yous in your ear until you fall asleep. His absence means something’s off. Unable to shake off the anxiety, you get up in one swift motion, determined to find him. No chance you’re falling back asleep now anyway.
Your bare feet hit the cold marble floor and you shiver as you make your way accros the bedroom in a hurry. You think of searching outside in case he went for a hunt, but it turns out you don’t have to look too far. There he is, silently leaning against the wall by the window, gazing into the pitch-black night of the Underdark. The light in the room is so dim that you couldn’t even spot him from your bed. You approach him and your heart breaks a little when you notice the lingering sadness in his crimson eyes, enhanced by the faint light of the burning candles next to him.
You want to ask him if he’s ok but it’s obvious he’s not so instead, you remain silent and close the space between the two of you, wrapping your arms around him and gently resting your head on his shoulder.
“What are you thinking about?” You ask softly after a while, your voice barely above a whisper.
Astarion averts his gaze and gives you a faint smile, nothing but a twist of lips.
“Nothing,” he replies. “I’m just being selfish, as usual. Forgive me, y/n.”
You frown and stare at him incredulously. “You’re not selfish,” you say, surprised at how intensely he means it. “Why would you even say that?”
“I –” He pauses, rethinks his words. This does nothing to make you less worried. “I caused you great pain,” he finally says. “I put you in danger. Repeatedly, ever since we met. You could have died a hundred times and it would have been my own, entire fault.”
You look up to him and feel a lump form in your throat. You have never seen him look like this – grief in his eyes and etched into the lines of his face.
“I’m not dead, Astarion. I’m right here with you.” You say as you wrap your arms around his neck. He makes a sound somewhere near a sob and your arms tighten.
“But I did put you in danger and now you’re stuck with me for eternity, in the middle of nowhere, and you—" Again, he stops. He’s bad at this, at talking about emotions. But he fights through it because it’s you. And nothing can be left unsaid between the two of you. Not after everything that’s happened. “You deserve so much better. You deserve the world, and I can’t give it to you.” You’re not sure where this conversation is going but you don't want to find out. His lower lip quiver but he goes on, words spilling out of him like blood from a wound. “I can’t give it to you, and I’ll never be able to forgive myself for it. It’s killing me all over again.” You crumble under each one of his words. His lips are trembling now and you can’t stand it. You can’t but you can’t do him the dishonor of looking away either.
“Astarion, I chose this life.” Your hands flutter to his face, each one cupping a cold cheek, forcing him to look at you. Your heart is pounding, and you know he can feel it. “I had a choice; I could stay, or I could run, and I chose you. I’m not stuck here. I’m home.”
Astarion heaves a faltering breath in an attempt at composure. “Sometimes I think you would be happier without me. Better off.” He barely mouths the words, but you hear them all distinctively, nonetheless. “You should go and leave me here. Walk in the sun. Be happy and live your life.” You draw your hands away from his face and he steps back, speaking louder now.
“It won’t get any better in here,” he continues, gesturing urgently around the room. “It’ll always be cold and dark, I’ll always be a blood-thirsty monster. I belong to the shadows, and I’ll never be able to make you happy, so you might as well just leave.”
His words knock the air out of your lungs and, for a moment, you cannot breathe. You feel your pulse pounding in your veins and blood thrumming under your skin as your heartbreak turns into anger. That fucking idiot, you think, looking up at him through eyes blurred with tears.
“You don’t know what makes me happy. You don’t,” you shout, surprised by the vehemence in your voice. "And you certainly don't get to speak for me." Astarion looks at you in such confusion that you almost feel bad for a moment, but you continue.
“You – you make me happy, Astarion, gods you do. I would rather live an eternity in the Underdark with you than one more day in the fucking sun.” Your heart is clenching in your chest, and you can feel the heat pooling in your cheeks. “By no means would I be better off, let alone happier, without you. I can’t believe that you could even think –” You trail off and sigh in frustration. You can’t bring yourself to scream at him any longer because that’s all he’s ever known before you, screams and shouts and abuse, and you can’t do this to him. But that doesn’t leave you with many options to get through to him. Astarion opens his mouth to say something, but you don’t let him.
Without warning you grab his shirt to pull him close and your lips crash into his, knocking the breath out of both of you with the force that you collide with. It only fuels your rage because the moment his lips are on yours, you can’t help thinking that you almost lost this once and you can’t actually lose it. You won’t let that happen. So you kiss him harder. It’s rough and desperate and sloppy. It's harsh breath and biting teeth.
He turns you around and backs you against the wall. You take it rather hard, but you welcome the sting. Anything to shut him up about not being good enough for you. He crowds in closer, presses you even harder against the wall, shoving his knee between your thighs. His cold lips connect to your throat, making you eagerly tilt your head to give him access to your thrumming pulse dancing at your neck. You have absolutely no qualms about it. If he wants it, it’s his.
But he doesn’t take it. Instead, his mouth sucks and licks, making you squirm and rock your hips against him. You cling to him, grabbing his shoulders and sliding your hands down his shirt and to his back. He hoists you up like you weighed nothing and you wrap both legs around his waist. You tangle your hands in his curly silver hair and pull him forward to feel that mouth on yours again. His tongue running over your lip makes you grind faster, searching for more, more, more. You moan when his hand reaches beneath your gown and through your damp underwear.
Firm, icy fingers are stroking you into madness. You make a sound that’s close to a whimper, but more like a groan, because damn it, you are so impatient now. You are clenching – aching to have him inside.
He is gasping at the feeling of your fluttering around him, and you must be gasping too, but you’re not sure; your head falls back and it feels like you’re breathing, but you could just as well be drowning.
You dig your nails hard into his back - you need to channel the anger into something. Maybe you’ll be the one drawing blood this time. You lean forward to rest your dizzy head on his shoulder and groan in anticipation. Not wasting anymore time, he pushes his hard, large cock into you, going steadily until he’s all the way in.
“Harder. Fuck me harder.” You plead and he obeys.
He sets a pace that graces all the right spots, spurred on the increasingly desperate noises escaping your mouth. This is no effort at all for him, holding you up easily and fucking you hard with determination. But you can see it when you rest your forehead against his – the sheer weakness you feel is reflected right back at you and you know he needs this just as much as you do.
You are so close. You need to concentrate on breathing, just so you simply don’t die. Your lower back thuds against the wardrobe with your oh gods and fucks singing in tandem. The vampire trails open-mouthed kisses and little bites down your neck while maintaining the almost vicious pace in and out of you. Every stroke curls and loves and breaks you into submission. You forget to be angry because your release is in his hands and your body is desperately handing itself over to him.
Your thighs start to quiver around him, the sounds of wetness and the feeling of his own explosion of pleasure deep inside you taking you so high that eventually, you shatter into him. You’re so grateful for the strength holding you up, so you can fall apart.
Your repeatedly moan his name on your way back to consciousness, lips brushing softly against his pale skin.
Before you know what is happening, you break into a sob.
“Please…. Please don’t ever tell me to leave, ever again.” You try to articulate, your voice shaking uncontrollably.
He sinks down onto his knees, holding you in his lap and whispering, “Shh,” into your ear.
“I’m so sorry,” he says, his voice is low and full of gravel. He never sounded so sweet. “I love you, always have and always will. And you’re not going anywhere.”
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rafeandonlyrafe · 4 months
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bruised knees
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words: 2.1k
warnings: mentions of blowjobs, losing virginity, virgin!reader (but fic is not smut), jealous! and overprotective!rafe, childhood friends to lovers, fluffy
rafe has been beyond overprotective of you his whole life. ever since you met in first grade and you let him borrow your brand new crayon box, only for a bully to come up and tug on your pigtails, causing rafe to pause his coloring to shove him away and tell him not to touch you ever again.
you smiled at rafe, the same smile you look at him with now, and he knew he would take care of you no matter what. you hugged him tightly and from that day on always shared your crayons, and everything else you had, with your new best friend.
“ready?” rafe slings his arm around your shoulder, pulling you towards the boat.
“yes!” you squeal, trying to navigate holding your tote bag and backpack at once, when suddenly both are out of your hands as rafe takes them and carries them down the pier.
“rafe, i can carry my own stuff.” you roll your eyes. it's a losing battle, your best friend will always lessen your load, hating seeing you do any sort of physical labor, feeling like that's his job.
“yeah, whatever.” rafe just ignores your argument, it's one he's heard so many times before, yet you make no attempt to take the bags back. “who all did you invite again?” rafe asks as you enter onto the boat, quickly beginning preparations for the day at sea, having gone through the motions so many times, knowing the boat like the back of your hand even though it's the cameron familys.
“uhh, topper, tina, kelce, steph, tiffy and hayden.” you go through the list of names in your head of friends that will be joining you and rafe on the yacht.
“how is tiffy since the break up?” rafe asks, knowing you like to talk while you work, pulling various lines while you straighten up the boat to make it more presentable, going through the motions together, always together.
rafes question launches you into a gossip session with rafe, spilling all the secrets your friends told you at your last hang out, but they know you don't keep anything from rafe, so it's no surprise when he knows as well, not that any of the girls would complain, rafe often takes over the role of protector to your friends as well, caring about who you care about.
“there's hayden!” you call to rafe, pointing down the dock to the parking lot where haydens truck just pulled in, a few minutes earlier than you expected anyone to start arriving.
“great.” rafe mumbles under his breath, making sure you don't hear his upset tone. he liked hayden at first, sharing some common interests (mostly golf), but then hayden got far too touchy with you, his gaze heating when it turned to you in a way that infuriated rafe, and he made sure to show hayden when you weren't around how much it pissed him off.
rafe is probably to credit for you never having a boyfriend for an extended period of time, but he can't help it, you're so perfect and no guy can possibly deserve you, so he has to scare them off before you get too invested and give them all of your attention instead of him.
“hey, heyds.” you greet him with a hug after he makes his way down the pier, making rafe grunts as haydens hand rests a little too low on your back for his liking, making rafes mind reel at the possibility of something going on between the two of you.
your other friends slowly begin to pile onto the boat, steph being the last one to get there as she is notorious for being late, which is why you told her to show up half an hour before everyone else, and somehow still managed to get there last.
“ready for takeoff?” you ask rafe, stepping away to join him at the wheel while your group of friends find places to sit while rafe navigates the boat towards the ocean.
“i am.” rafe nods, having disconnected the last line. no matter what is happening, you always sit next to rafe on the bench as he directs the boat, ready to be his second in command at any moment, even if its just fetching him a drink or checking the water depth.
“i can’t wait to swim.” you say with a sigh, having not gotten out into the water all week, which is rare with how much peace you find in the ocean.
“how about that one sandbar we took wheezie to?” rafe questions, wanting you to decide where he anchors the boat.
“ooh, yes.” you nod.
“she complained to me last night that you weren’t over.” rafe smiles at you when you let out a laugh.
“i don’t spend one friday night and she complains! ugh, i love that girl.” you grin thinking about wheezie, treating her like she’s your own little sister, having known her since she was born.
“you’ll stay tonight, right?” rafe asks, missing you sharing his bed like you do every weekend. 
“mhm, i’m not driving home after being out on the boat all day, gonna be so exhausted.” you roll your eyes.
rafe smiles at you, wrapping one arm around his shoulder, leaving him to drive with one hand, but wanting you close to him, secretly hoping hayden would look through the windows from the lower deck and see you all cuddled up into his side.
neither of you have ever broached the topic of taking things beyond just friendship, despite rafe desperately wanting to take things further, he doesn’t want to mess up the one good thing he has in his life. you’re such a source of brightness that when you’re around him he forgets all about his fights with his dad, or issues with barry.
“here.” rafe nods to you, immediately going to drop the anchor, planning to stay in one spot all day.
you help him make sure its secure before moving to the main deck with everyone else. “alright, who is ready to swim?” you shout with glee.
“you know i am.” hayden smirks at you, pulling his shirt off over his head.
“mhm, that’s why i like you, not afraid to get wet.” you say, rafe carefully watching the interaction, unsure if you meant the innuendo or not.
you take your tshirt off as well, tossing it onto the pile that everyone is making on the sofa, revealing swimsuits underneath their clothes. rafe also undresses, but slowly and quietly.
you tug your yoga pants down next, having kicked your shoes off upon entering the boat. you turn towards rafe, always checking in with him, seeking him out amongst the crowd.
rafe smiles at you, his eyes dropping subtly down your body, quickly checking out your pale lilac swimsuit before he sees a different shade of purple, this time blossoming around your knees.
hayden seems to notice too, a smirk growing on his face when he sees the localized bruises.
“what the fuck did you do?” rafe grunts out before he can stop himself and use the calming methods you so carefully taught him.
“what?” hayden turns to look at rafe, but he’s already charging at him. rafe shoves hayden backwards, making him stumble but he manages to maintain his footing.
“rafe, chill!” you shout, grabbing at his arm.
“did he-did you fucking blow him?” rafe questions, pointing to your knees. “how did you get those bruises?” “jesus, rafe!” you take a step back, but don’t drop your grip on his arm, not sure if he would try to pull away. “you seriously ask me that in front of all our friends? for your information i was working out in the garden yesterday and bruised my knees kneeling on the pavers. but thanks for embarrassing me.”
you drop his arm when you feel tears welling in your eyes, quickly turning and sprinting into the interior of the boat.
you throw yourself onto the bed in one of the two bedrooms, hiding your face in the white pillow as you cry. 
“y/n…” rafe says softly. you don’t jump at his voice, you expected him to follow you, but you don’t feel like talking to him.
“please, y/n.” rafe pleads, and you feel his weight dip the bed down as he climbs onto the mattress.
“stop it.” you whine when rafe pulls you into him, but you don’t struggle as he cuddles into you, pressing a kiss against your hair. you’ve cuddled rafe before, of course since you’ve been friends for so long, but never with this little clothing on, and you are very aware of how much of his bare skin is touching yours.
“i didn’t mean to embarrass you, y/n. i just… i just got so angry thinking about you possibly doing anything with hayden. i don’t like him. he’s not good enough for you.”
“why would you even think i would do that though? you know im a virgin.”
the words shock rafe, and you can physically feel him tense up. you pick up your head to look at him, brows furrowed together.
“i-i didn’t know that.” rafe just assumed you lost it to one of your short term boyfriends.
“no… no i would have told you, rafey. you’re my best friend, i… you told me when you lost yours.” you remind rafe of when he was 16 years old and had sex for the first time, calling you only an hour after to confide in you, partly hoping you would get jealous.
“i thought you knew that i wouldn’t want to hear about you sleeping with someone. i guess i just figured you kept it to yourself for my sake.” rafe doesn’t realize the implication of his words as they flow from between his lips.
“why would i?- wait… you like me?” you blink up at him.
rafe pauses. now is as good as time as any, especially with the growing threat of hayden and other guys who aren’t scared of rafe potentially taking you away from him. “yes. i love you. i think i’ve loved you since first grade.” “holy shit, you asshole!” you shout, and it’s not the reaction rafe was expecting as he tenses, waiting for you to run off, or get mad, but instead your shout turns into a laugh, “i can’t believe you didn’t tell me sooner!” and then your lips are on his, finally feeling the perfect meld of your mouths together as rafe quickly snaps into action, his lips moving against yours as he cups your face.
“i love you too, in case it wasn’t obvious.” you whisper against his mouth before resuming the kiss.
“thank fuck, i was ready to murder hayden just because i thought you liked him.” rafe laughs, tugging on your waist to bring your bodies even closer together, leaving his large hand resting against your bare back.
“pshht.” you shake your head. “he’s not even half the man you are.” 
“holy shit, i love you.” rafe repeats, taking you in for another kiss.
“my friends are never gonna believe that we finally got together.” you giggle. “i think they’ve all placed bets.”
“your friends?” rafe shakes his head. “baby, i think even our parents have.”
“i… i’m really happy we admitted are feelings.” you say shyly, a blush covering your cheeks as you look down, breaking eye contact. “everyone told me that you liked me too but i was too nervous to ruin what we had.”
“hey, it’s okay.” rafe says softly. “we have forever this way.”
you feel tears well up in your eyes again as you wrap your arms around rafe, pressing your head into his bare chest.
“gosh, i can’t wait to go tell everyone.” you admit with a giggle.
“yeah? wanna go get in the water too?” rafe asks, unsure if your friends waiting for your argument to be over to swim.
“hell yeah.” you slide off the bed, rafe taking a minute to check out your body, not hiding his heated gaze as you catch him.
“holy shit, you are checking me out!” 
“duh, you’re my girl now.” rafe smirks, also getting off the bed, placing an arm around your shoulder. “gonna give you bruised knees for a different reason, baby.”
“wait, rafe-” you begin, suddenly not feeling like swimming anymore, but he pulls you out onto the deck, seeing all your friends sitting awkwardly on the sofas, waiting for whatever argument to be over with.
“don’t worry baby.” rafe drops his mouth to your ear, making sure your friends can’t hear. “we can talk about that virginity of yours later.” rafe doesn’t give you a second to respond, placing his fingers on your chin and tilting your head towards him to press a kiss to your lips to the chorus of all of your friends letting out woops and claps, along with shouts of “finally!”
“i told you!” tiffy shouts, holding her hand out towards stephanie. “you owe me 20 bucks!”
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writingouthere · 4 months
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friendswithbenefits!Sukuna x reader. Your friend Yuuji sets you up on a date with his co-worker to help you get over your recent slump, not knowing that his dear older brother had ended it months ago.
cw: none really, some possessive behavior
"He's really great though, I swear!"
"What does 'really great' entail, exactly?"
"Well he's nice! Like, super nice."
You waited to see if there was any more information and when there didn't appear to be any forthcoming, pushed your friend. "Yuuji, I'm going to need a little bit more than that."
Yuuji seemed to think about this for a second and as he did you snuck some dumplings off his plate. He'd taken more than his fair share of the take out anyway.
You loved Yuuji, he was one of the most genuinely kind people you'd ever met. He just happened to have terrible taste in men, aside from his own boyfriend.
"Well, when I got lost the other day, he gave me directions and they were super helpful!"
"Wait, did you find this guy on the street? Are you setting me up with a stranger?" It wouldn't surprise you, Yuuji tended to adopt human beings the way a normal person might adopt stray cats. You couldn't complain too much since it's how the two of you had ended up being friends, but it didn't necessarily mean that whoever he'd picked up off the side of the road this time was your one true love.
"No, no, he works in the school too. He teaches like history or something. He just teaches in the upperclassmen building, so I don't see him that much."
"So he gave you directions after you got lost in your own place of work?"
Yuuji either doesn't hear your tone or he chooses to ignore it. "Yeah, really nice dude. He's also good friends with Maki, so you know he must respect women."
That was actually pretty persuasive. Maki would never put up with any man who was a piece of shit, maybe there was something here.
"Is he cute?"
Yuuji scratched his head and tried to take some dumplings off your plate while you blocked him with your chopsticks.
"I mean I guess, he always looks kind of sad but you're into that right?" You blocked his attempts at stealing your dumplings with a little more aggression than necessary at that.
"I am not!"
Yuuji hummed unimpressed, chewing on the dumpling he'd managed to snatch away while you argued. Thief.
"He's like a little taller than me, pretty eyes and he's stronger than he looks. He actually beat me in some sparring matches last year when the teachers competed." You listened even as you scowled at the way Yuuji said all this with his mouth still full of stolen food. He swallowed and gave you a mischievous smirk. "He has really nice hands too."
"Yuuji!"
"They're big and his fingers are long but not too skinny, they kind of remind me of Megumi's-"
"Who the fuck are you talking about?"
You stiffened as Yuuji's older brother walked in, scratching his bare midriff since he seemed to have once again forgot that wearing shirts was an expected human behavior. Even though he was only a few years older than you and Yuuji, he always seemed larger than life. Maybe because you had known him for so long.
"Yuuta, this guy I work with," Yuuji said, pouting when his brother stole some of the food off his plate. Served him right. "Hey! I asked you if you wanted anything before I ordered it."
"And I told you, I don't want any of this garbage. I'm just sampling," Sukuna said as he popped another piece of chicken in his mouth.
"Go eat your stupid healthy food then and leave our garbage alone," Yuuji protested pushing the plate out of Sukuna's reach. Naturally, this led to Sukuna shoving Yuuji's head into the table as he reached over and stole more food off the tray in the middle.
"So why are you talking about Yuuta's hands anyway. You and Fushiguro finally call it quits?" Sukuna's tone was casual but you had once seen him knock out a guy for groping Megumi in a club. If the day came where Yuuji and Megumi actually broke up, you think he might take turns knocking sense into both of them.
"Mnat mor me."
"Huh," Sukuna said even as he kept Yuuji's face pressed to the table. You rolled your eyes.
"He's saying that he's not the one interested, he's trying to set me up with him." You tried to push down the guilt you felt as you spoke after all you had nothing to be guilty about.
There was a flash of something in Sukuna's eyes but it was gone before you could identify it and with one last shove that had Yuuji groaning, he let him up.
"That hurt, you bastard!"
"Not an insult, I'm literally a bastard," Sukuna said and Yuuji rolled his eyes.
"Whatever, anyway, back to helping you get laid-"
"Hey!"
"-I'll let Yuuta know you'll meet him at six?"
"Can you make it eight, only old people eat at six." Yuuji nods and goes to type something in his phone. There's an awkward silence that he doesn't seem to notice and you can't help but look at Sukuna who hasn't taken his eyes off you.
"Didn't realize you were so desperate," Sukuna says and Yuuji doesn't look up from his phone before throwing a punch at him. Sukuna dodges, his eyes still on you.
"There's nothing wrong with going on a date," you say and you wonder who you're convincing. "It has been a while since a nice guy took me out."
"Ah right, I forgot you liked nice guys." His tone is too knowing and you feel yourself flush.
"Stop picking on her, Sukuna. Don't you need to be going to the gym, anyway?" Yuuji asks, finally putting down his phone. He seems to attribute the current tension for you and Sukuna's usual animosity. You wonder if that's all there is to it. Sukuna scoffs and walks back to his room. You still weren't sure why he'd even come out in the first place.
"Whatever, you two have fun planning the wedding," he says, his tone making your hackles rise.
"Say hi to Uraume for me," Yuuji calls back, oblivious. "Tell them I still want a rematch after last week."
Sukuna waves a hand before shutting the door to his room. Yuuji turns back to you and the two of you talk about other topics while your mind wanders.
You weren't doing anything wrong. Were you?
You and Yuuji decide to meet up with Megumi and Nobara for a movie before you need to get ready for your date. While Yuuji goes to his room to change, you head to the kitchen to clean up the remains of lunch.
You're putting some glasses in the sink when you feel a warm presence at your back. You can't hold back your sigh as a familiar pair of thick arms comes to wrap around your waist and a pair of lips presses gently against your neck.
"I haven't seen you in forever," Sukuna murmurs, the movement of his lips against your neck sending a familiar pulse of want to your core. You tell yourself not to let the soft gesture get to you. He never did shit like this without a purpose and his usual purpose isn't going to be fulfilled with Yuuji in the next room.
"You saw me last week, Sukuna," you remind him before leaning away from him to close the dishwasher. His hands slip down to your hips and you just know he's staring at your ass. You roll your eyes even as he pulls you back to him once you're standing. His hands pressing into the curve of your hips, putting pressure on them in that way that makes you melt.
"That's too long, princess. I was getting lonely," he teases and you feel him smirk against your cheek. "You must be lonely too."
"Actually I'm just fine," you tell him but you tilt your head so he can kiss the skin of your face, your neck, the parts of your shoulders revealed by the stretched collar of your old t-shirt. You let him lull you into a false sense of security before he reminds you why that's a bad idea.
"Really? I just assumed you felt lonely and that's why you were agreeing to go on dates with losers you've never even met."
There it was. This was why you couldn't let Sukuna get soft with you. He never did it without returning your vulnerability with malice.
"Sukuna," you say and you go to pull his arms off you but he pushes you into the counter, you wince as the cold stone presses against your body. "Let go of me." Your tone is calm even as emotions band their way across your throat.
"I would, but you seem to get lost when I let you out of my sights. I mean you're going to go on a date with some high school teacher?"
"Your brother literally has the same job?"
"Well, are you going to fuck my brother too?"
"For fuck's sake, Sukuna, get off me!"
Sukuna does let you go but only so he can turn you to face him.
Sukuna doesn't get mad the way normal people do. Usually he's just amused, maybe even mildly annoyed, but blatant rage isn't his thing. After your years of-acquaintanceship? light antagonism?-friendship, you recognized this as the stage where he was about to make his insults increasingly personal until you needed to go cry in the bathroom later.
"We are not dating," you tell him and he rolls his eyes.
"Obviously."
"Therefore, I can go on dates with other people."
"I don't give a fuck if you go on dates with other people."
"Great, because I'm going to go on this date tonight."
"Good for you."
"Yes, yes it is good for me!"
"You seem really happy with your choices," Sukuna goads in that tone of his. You hate that tone.
"I am. I don't plan on just accepting whatever scraps some loser will throw me when there are actually decent guys who want a real relationship."
Sukuna narrows his eyes at you. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I wasn't being subtle," you tell him before leaning back against the counter. Going for casual, knowing you're not quite hitting it. "Don't worry, I don't hold it against you. You can't give what you don't have, you know?"
"No, I don't know," Sukuna bites out and if he was anyone else, you would think you'd hurt his feelings but this wasn't anyone else and there was no way something you said bother him.
"You're just not a relationship person and that's-that's fine, I knew that before we started this thing. It's just, sometimes I want more." You soften your tone from earlier but it doesn't do anything to relieve the tension between the two of you.
"And this, Yuka is going to give you that?" He sounds bitter and he's not touching you. You'd been the one to tell him to back off but you couldn't remember the last time he hadn't had his hands on you in some way when it was just the two of you.
"I think his name was Yuuta," you correct before his expression tells you this is the wrong step.
"Right, okay. You know what, you go on your date and have the best time with Yuuta. I got places to be."
He brushes past you and goes back to his room just as Yuuji opens the door to his.
"Geez, what's his problem?" He asks as he makes his way over to you. You shrug your shoulders and he takes your lack of response as just your normal discontent with his brother and wraps his arm around your shoulder. "Don't let him get to you, he's just a dick."
"I know," you tell him and you do. You know Sukuna's true nature better than most.
You two make your way out of the apartment so you can make your movie and you try to ignore the guilt you feel as Yuuji talks to you.
"You know, he's actually been in a better mood the past few months. I think he might actually be seeing someone. Can you imagine who would be crazy enough to actually date that asshole?"
new series? wrote this to get the rust off so we'll see.
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darthannie · 9 months
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thesis statement
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Pairing: professor!Jim x f!reader Summary: You accidentally bump into your Professor, Jim, at a sex shop. Word count: 3.3k Warnings: 18+ please for the love of god, age gap (reader is ~25, Jim is ~45), alcohol consumption (a few sips of wine), kissing, praise, soft dom! Jim kinda, fingering, p in v, Jim takes his time, a smidge of cockwarming, idk what else to put here! a/n: There will probably be a part two where they explore their little arrangement a bit more. Maybe it'll turn into something longer. I love Jim sm. I also want him to FUCK you know. We’ll get there, but I was feeling a lil soft. Also hmmm i wonder why Jim was at the sex shop in the first place.
It was around 5 pm on a Sunday and you were really in need of something new. Very in need. Your old toy just wasn’t cutting it anymore. To remedy this it was time for a trip to Deluxxx, your neighborhood sex shop. Your friend, Nadia, knew someone who worked there and you’d go there for all your wants and needs. You strolled in and gave a wave to the person behind the counter. 
“Hey, David! How’s the shop been treating ya?”
They looked around at the empty shop, “Hey! It’s slow but I can’t complain. What are you in for?” 
You sighed, “You remember that last toy I bought?“ 
”No way, does it suck?! It was so expensive.” 
“No, no it’s great! Gets the job done, waterproof, 10 settings-“ 
“So what’s the problem”, they asked.
You gestured in front of yourself with both hands, “It’s just… a little too small?"
They laughed and threw their head back. “Of course. Well lucky for you we got something new in recently that you might like. It’s in the back aisle, bottom shelf.” 
You thanked them and made your way to the back. You crouched down to find the one David was telling you about. It was definitely bigger than the one you had. And thicker. It didn’t have any extra frills but that wasn’t what you were looking for. You snapped a picture and sent it to Nadia with “new bf” as the caption. You let out a little laugh that was more like an exhale as you got up. Nadia has been nagging you about needing a boyfriend and you said you were just going to buy a new one. You were still looking at your phone as you turned to exit the aisle and bumped into someone. The apology on your lips died as you recognized the person in front of you as Jim, your professor and thesis advisor. 
His jaw went slack for a moment and his eyes widened as he recognized you. You were the last person he’d expect to see there but it wasn’t an unwelcome sight. He enjoyed teaching you, not knowing whether it was your interest in the subject or the fact he thought you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen. He broke eye contact for a moment, scanned your body, took note of the item in your hand, and then met your eyes again. You were suddenly very aware of your surroundings and before anyone could say anything he cleared his throat, said “Excuse me” and walked past you.
You would be lying if you said you didn’t find him attractive and it was becoming clear why you did not have a boyfriend. You wanted him. This wasn’t a new revelation by any means. Nadia was in the same class as you, and she bugged you about it almost daily. You hadn’t expected him to find you in such a vulnerable position. You collected yourself and walked swiftly to the counter and paid. Jim was long gone. You said your goodbyes to David and you texted Nadia to let her know what happened.
She called you almost immediately and opened by saying, “So you know you gotta fuck him now. Like you have to. You don’t have an option. You MUST”. You laughed. There was absolutely no way Jim wanted you. You let her know as much and she disagreed. 
“There’s no way he doesn’t want you. Come on. All the silent stares in class. Asking you to stay after. Constant emailing about things that have nothing to do with class. I mean who just emails their student a TED talk because they thought of them? All signs point to him wanting you. AND what about that one day where you teased him about not having a ring on his finger, and he just said I’m working on it? You know there was this smile he gave you afterward that I don’t think you caught. You were too busy hiding the blush on your face”
“I know I know.” You relented, “I don’t know, it just seems so far-fetched!” 
You knew that was the logical response but something was telling you Nadia was right. He had to have known that his voice sent a shiver down your spine. That you wanted him to take you right there on the table after class. You had caught him staring during class. Maybe she had a point. You couldn’t help but wonder if he really did want you too. 
Later on in the day, you got into the shower. Scalding hot water hit your back. You couldn’t help but recount the events from earlier. He had lingered, looked at the item in your hand, and raised an eyebrow. You would’ve been embarrassed if he didn’t already feel so familiar. 
Soft music played as you lathered a silky body wash along your body. Your mind started to wander, thinking about what it would be like if it were his hands instead of yours. You rinsed off the soap, running your hands over your arms and breasts all while imagining they were his. You turned off the water, dried off, and headed towards the bag you placed on your small table.
You unpackaged your new toy and went back to the bathroom to clean it. Getting back to bed, you lied down and opened up an incognito tab on your phone. You looked for some porn to watch. Once you found an adequate video, you relaxed and continued to watch. The man in the video touched the woman’s body in all the right places. He laid her down and kissed up her thighs before starting to eat her out. This was enough for you to start teasing yourself with the toy, feeling the weight of it on your clit. Suddenly the video was unnecessary. All you could think about was Jim.
You positioned it just right and started to insert it. You gasped as you felt how it stretched you out. This was what you needed. You paused the video, throwing your phone on the side to focus on the task at hand. You put the rest of it inside you and let yourself adjust to the size. You began to move the toy as you thought of him. You wondered if he felt this good. He had to feel better than this. You got off that night thinking about him and only him. When you finally came down from your high you grabbed some water, cleaned your toy, and got straight to bed. 
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You didn’t want what happened yesterday to impact your experience in class so you decided to just go on like nothing happened. 
You headed to the bathroom and began going through the movements of the morning. Before you knew it you were by the building where class was held. A bit further down the sidewalk was Jim walking from the opposite direction. The both of you got to the door at the same time. He didn’t say a thing. He just gave you a polite, awkward smile as he opened the door for you. You returned the smile and walked in. Side by side you walked to the classroom. This time you opened the door for him. You watched as he entered and mentally prepared yourself to take a class. It was just the two of you in the room. You sat at the round table with your laptop in front of you trying your best to seem busy.
He broke the silence, “Did you have a nice weekend?”
You summoned a response, “Yes, actually, I was able to spend some time with myself.”
He quipped back, “Oh, I’m sure you were.” 
Your eyes widened trying to process what he said. He let out a light chuckle as another student arrived. The class was full within the next five minutes. Nadia walked in and looked between you and him. She smirked at you. The air was buzzing for the next two hours. You could cut the tension between you two if you tried hard enough. You asked and answered questions like usual. Each time you spoke he paid extra attention to you. When class ended you began gathering your things slowly, hoping you were the last in the class. Nadia leaned over and whispered in your ear, “Just don’t do it by my seat.” You gave her a light slap on the arm and she laughed. Then, it was just you and him. He approached you and spoke softly. 
“Listen, I apologize if I overstepped a boundary with the joke I made earlier. I thought it would help ease the tension if, I don’t know-“ 
“It’s alright, Professor. We’re both mature adults who can bump into each other at a sex shop and move on with our lives.” You got up ready to leave but he spoke.
“Since when am I Professor?”, he asked. 
You looked at him confused. He clarified, “Since when do you call me Professor? You never call me Professor.”
You cleared your throat, “Well I just thought we should reestablish a professional boundary since the- you know. Keep the personal and the professional separate.”
He looked at you, pensive for a moment. He moved a bit closer to you. “Well, what if we don’t keep it separate?” 
Your eyes widened as you realized what was happening. “Are you serious?”
“Very.” He lowered his voice a bit and moved closer. He ran his hand down your arm.  His mouth was now near your ear. There was no chance someone else was going to hear him, but he whispered anyway. “I think you should come over tonight. If you want to.” 
“Yeah, I want to.” You mentally cursed yourself for caving in so quickly.  
“How’s seven?, he asked.
“Seven’s good.” Your head was spinning. This was happening.
“I’ll also need your number so I can send you the address.” He handed you his phone with a new contact page open. You entered it in, gave him a shy smile, and turned to leave.
He grabbed your wrist before you were able to move away from him. “By the way, leave your new purchase at home. You’re not going to need it.” 
Summoning some courage, you leaned in to kiss him. He didn’t close the gap all the way. “Let’s save it for tonight.”, he said as he pulled away. He gathered his things without looking at you and left. 
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When you returned home you threw your stuff down and immediately called Nadia. “I KNEW IT!" she yelled. “I KNEW that’s why you hung back. God, it was so tense between you two.”
“You could tell?” You didn’t think it was that obvious until she chuckled and said that everyone could tell. The rest of the conversation consisted of Nadia giving you a pep talk and making her promise you’d tell her everything.  
As time passed you got more nervous. Around six you received a text from him telling you to wear something comfortable, along with his address. You sent a very quick response and, per his request, put on something comfortable. It would end up on the floor anyway. He didn’t live very far from you, which was lucky. You wondered if this would be a one-time thing. What would class be like now? I graduate soon anyway, you thought. If this all went south you could just forget it happened. You got to his apartment a couple of minutes before 7 and he let you up. When you got to the door you knocked twice and waited.
You’d never seen him so casual and… nervous. “Please, come in! You can put your things wherever you’d like,” he said. 
You looked around at his apartment. You could tell a professor lived there. Bookshelves lined the walls. On the dining table, there was a bottle of wine with two glasses. You put down your bag near the door. You didn’t know what to do with your hands. He noticed your apprehension. 
“Do you like wine? I got a nice Malbec after class today. Thought we could crack open a bottle.” 
“Yes, I’d like that very much.”
“Nerves?”
“Yeah.”, you confirmed.
“Me too. But, uh, there’s nothing to be nervous about. It’s just me.”
He smiled and the tension in your body slipped away. It was replaced by a sense of calm. Jim was letting you into his home, and into his life. You sat down at the table and he removed the cord from the bottle. You watched his hands work, feeling eager to get them on you. But that had to wait, he was about to take his time. He poured you and himself a glass. You sat across from him and took a sip, hoping its effects would be immediate. 
“I’m glad you came. You know, I thought you’d think I was too old for you.” And he might’ve been. Twenty years was a healthy gap but it wasn’t anything you wouldn’t indulge in. Hell, if you could, you’d date him. 
“Not at all.” You replied. “I can’t lie, I’ve been thinking about it all year.”
“About what?”, he pushed.
“About… seeing you.”
“You can say it.” He noticed your blush. 
“I want to hear you say it.”, he egged you on.
You sighed, trying to muster up the words. “I’ve been thinking about… being with you all year.”
“And doing what?”, he took another sip of his wine and raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to say it?”
“Yes.”, There was no way you would be able to admit it to him fully.
“You want your professor to fuck you. You want me to take you to my room, undress you, and take care of you better than anyone ever has.”
Your face was red. “Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.” You drank from your glass. 
“Come here.”, he spoke softly and you got up. “Straddle me, love.” 
You sat on his lap and he looked up at you, grinning ear to ear. He brought his hand up to your neck and pulled you down to kiss him. It was brief. He pulled away and looked into your eyes. Then he kissed you again. And, again. Then, he started kissing your neck. You couldn’t help but let out a small moan as you felt him getting hard underneath you. He kissed and nipped at your skin. His hands reached the hem of your shirt and he pulled it off before you could register it happening. Once it did, you helped him out of his. 
He tapped your ass a couple times, silently saying get up. He walked you backward and pushed you up against a nearby wall. He started removing a bra strap, but you stopped him.
“Well don’t get shy on me now.”, he chuckled. “Come.” He reached out his hand and you grabbed it. He led you down the hall to his bedroom and you sat down on the bed. You took your cues from him. As he started to lean over, you began to lay down. His hand was unhooking your bra with one hand. He was finicking with it and after a few moments, it was off. The cool air hitting your nipples caused them to rise. Jim kissed you again, then kissed down your neck, and finally put his hands on you. He licked, sucked, and grabbed your breasts. 
“You’re so beautiful. Even more gorgeous than I could have imagined. Baby, I need to taste you.” 
You wanted to protest but your pants were already coming off. Your panties followed. He groaned, “Fuck, baby, all this for me?
Before you could respond he kissed the inside of your thigh, then down, down, down until he reached your pussy. You were so wet for him already. He used his fingers first, wanting to feel you first. 
“You always get this wet for your Professor?”
“Yes.”, you responded breathlessly. His fingers were moving in and out of you. Slowly at first and then faster. He hit that perfect spot each time. Then he added his mouth. This time he didn’t go slow. He was licking and sucking on your clit. You moaned out his name and he smiled. He ate you out like his life depended on it. No one had ever done this to you. No one had ever paid this much attention to your body. You were a whimpering mess. His hand found its way back to your nipple, rolling it between his fingers. He then squeezed, hard, which made you load loudly. 
“Please Jim, I’m gonna cum.”, you plead. 
 He got you close to the edge and then pulled away. You whimpered at the loss of him. “Please, keep going.”
“No, if you’re gonna cum, I’m gonna be inside of you.” He took off the rest of his clothing. You moaned at the sight of him. He was right. You would never need the toy again. You couldn’t wait for him to be inside of you. He knew this and instead decided to tease you with his cock. He dragged it along you and tapped your clit the same way you did with your toy at home. Only this was a hundred times better.  
He nipped at your ear and whispered. “You really want it, huh?”
“Yes,” you begged “It’s all I want.” 
He grinned and entered you slowly and without warning. Your jaw dropped slightly. You couldn’t even make a sound, you were too busy with the feeling of him filling you up entirely. He let out a sigh and grabbed your chin.
“Look at me. Open your eyes. Look at me while I fuck you.” You did as he said. He started to pick up the pace. He was making this intimate. He caressed your face and made almost as much noise as you did. “Good girl. You’re such a good girl, following directions. Ready for another one?” You nodded. 
“Get on top. Sit down on my cock.” You started moving before he even finished his sentence. There was no room for shyness anymore. He sat up against the headboard as you sunk down on him; the new angle was doing wonders for the both of you. He thrusted up, wanting to feel more of you. He held you close to him as you began to ride him. 
“You sure know how to treat a girl, Professor.”, you said breathlessly.
He chuckled and kissed you. “You sure know how to treat your Professor. You’re being so good for me. Such a good girl.”
His hand found its way back to your clit, his thumb rubbing circles. He wanted to make sure you came first.
And you did.
It came in waves. You felt it build up and told him you were close. Then, you fell apart. You pulled him close and kissed him passionately. He wrapped his arms around you and whispered sweet nothings in your ear as you came. 
“That’s it, baby. So, so good for me. God, such a pretty little thing.“ He took control, holding you up and thrusting into you. The sensation was almost too much to bear. 
“Where do you want it.”, he asked.
“Inside. Please. I’m on the-“
“Are you sure, love?” You could tell he couldn’t wait any longer. 
You begged, “Yes. Yes, I am, just please cum inside me.”
And he did.
He filled you to the brim. You felt him twitch inside of you as his hips stuttered. He held onto you so tightly you were sure it would leave marks. You were both breathing hard. He stayed inside of you and held you against him. He put his forehead against yours as you regained your breath. 
He kissed you again, this time not wanting to pull away. But, you did. You pulled yourself off of him and laid down as the realization of what you did started sinking in. He lied down next to you and stared at the ceiling.
Silence. And after a few moments, you turned your head and spoke.
“So, is this it?” It came out more timid than you would have liked it to. 
He gave you a look you couldn’t quite place and after a moment he said, “Oh, love, you’re mine now.”
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the-offside-rule · 6 months
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Max Verstappen (Red Bull Racing) - Reconsider
Requested: yes
Prompt: 35) "Can I convince you to stay?"
41) "Do that thing I like"
52) "You looked great out there today"
Warnings: smut, 18+, douchebag Max, teammate x teammate, possessive Max, oral (f!receiving), edging
Christmas Day 7
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Y/n smiled as she took her helmet off. P2 in qualifying and it was what she expected to be her last race at Red Bull. While she loved the people there, she wasn't winning and that is quite frankly what she wanted to do. She didn't think she could do that having to play second fiddle to Max Verstappen. When she hopped out of the car, she was met with Lando who congratulated her and joked she should come to McLaren. She laughed along with him until she felt a poke at her shoulder and she knew exactly who it was. She turned to see her teammate with his helmet hair looking as hot as ever and a lazy smile on his lips. "You looked great out there, today. Pity you're not here next season." He said. Y/n smiled back and took her own helmet off. "Yeah, a real shame." She replied and placed her helmet onto the podium table.
Max moved closer and leaned down to her ear. Her heart beat in her chest. "Can I convince you to stay?" Max whispered lowly into her ear. She looked around at all the cameras snapping photos and videos of this moment, yet kept her composure. "Bold move." She replied, still smiling. He looked down to her lips. "I can."
As Y/n went around the media pen, she anticipated finishing up so she could get her convincing to stay by the dutchman. It wasnt the first time they would fuck and it probably wouldn't be the last. Neither of them did this for feelings, it was simply to blow off steam after sessions and it kept them both focused without getting frustrated. The team knew and they didn't care as long as it didn't interfere and it never did. Both drivers did their job, then left for a half hour only to come back as professional as they started the day. Sometimes, they'd even schedule to hook up in between weekends, just because they could and the PR would handle the media speculating about the closeness of the two. Their favourite was when the other would do well in a race or when both would DNF. It was good to celebrate, but it was good to angry fuck too. For today, however, Y/n didn't know which side of Max she would get.
She smiled as her last interview finished and she began walking towards her trailer. Y/n looked around slyly, trying to find where her beloved dutchman was and surely she saw him hanging closely by. She smirked and walked quicker to her driver room, lifting her phone to pretend she was answering a phone call to avoid questions from the fans and paparazzi. Shortly after she closed her door, Max barged in. "New record." Y/n joked. "What can I say? I like breaking records." Max said, walking towards her and almost immediately beginning to kiss her lips hungrily. Y/n unzipped her overall and wrapped it around her waist, her lips not leaving his, both their lips fighting for dominance. That was the problem for her. They fought for dominance both on the track and behind closed doors and that was a dynamic that wouldn't work for her.
"Please stay." Max said, unzipping his overall. Y/n's hand ran down his under armour before her hand lifted it and ran over his toned abs. "Will you let me dominate?" She asked, lingering dangerously close to his lips. "In what way?" He asked. He moved his forehead closer and they ended up touching. "You know what way. I want to beat you." He chuckled and let his own hand drop to her hips and pulled her closer. "And why would I let you?" Y/n turned and looked out the one way glass, before she took her hair tied off and let her hair fall. "Well it's more of a 'you scratch my back, I scratch yours' kind of thing." She explained, moving her hair over to one side, knowing Max was right behind her to begin nipping at her neck and he did just that. She grimaced as her teammate's hands glided up under her fireproof shirt and began caressing her breasts. "You know I can't do that. But I can let you dominate and beat me in my apartment." He whispered. Y/n turned again to look back to him. "That's a pity." She began pushing the driver backwards before he fell back onto the sofa.
Max couldn't comprehend what was happening before Y/n hopped on top of him and began grinding. They both felt his erection growing within seconds. They looked down and grinned. "Are you gonna take care of that?" Max asked, biting his lip and sighing as Y/n lowered her hand cupped the clothed area. "Do that thing I like." Max begged. "You're meant to be convincing me to stay and you want me to pleasure you? I may have to go sign with Mercedes now, I'm afraid." She chuckled. "You're acting like that would change what we're doing." Max replied boldly. "It might not, but I'm sure whoever my teammate is would love to do what you're doing. And maybe they'd do it better-" Max hopped up and lifted her over to the counter and slammed her down with such force, she felt shaken. Max spun her around so she was leaning against the counter before he grabbed her wrists, holding them behind her back and pushing down. "No one would do you better than I do you." He growled. "Prove it." She replied. Max grinned and undid the lower part of his race suit. "You're not going to be able to walk tomorrow, nevermind drive." He tugged at her race suit, chucking down to her ankles and taking his length out and delving into her. She gasped. He didn't give her a chance to adjust to him this time. She was getting angry Max, and that made her smile. His thrusts were deep and hard, just as she liked. He loved the sounds that fell from her mouth. Strings of curses, followed by his name. Heavenly. He let go of her wrists and wrapped his hand around her neck, pulling her back towards him. "Look out there, shcat." He demanded. Y/n looked out at the people walking around the paddock. She even spotted some drivers still doing their interviews.
"You're so loud, I wonder if the media pen knows how good I fuck you yet." He whispered into her ear. "Just keep going." She pleaded. His spare hand spanked her, making her moan in bed pain and please. "Look in your mirror, I want to watch you." He watched as her face contorted with each thrust she took. Her moans grew louder and louder before she crumbled and her knees nearly gave out. Her finger nails dug into the wooden countertop as her mouth fell open. Max leaned closer. "I'm not finished yet." She groaned. "I can't. Fuck me, I-"
He pulled out and pulled her up onto the countertop before dropping to his knees and looked up to her. She looked down to him through hooded eyes. "You wouldn't." She huffed. Max boldly kissed her thighs, inching his way closer and closer to her soaked pussy. "Max, don't tease me." She pleaded. "You wanted convincing, you're getting it." His mouth got to work, making her crumble yet again. Her fingers tangled in his dirty blonde strands of hair, her grip tightening with each swipe of his tongue. He grabbed her thighs and threw them over his shoulders. "Max, Max I'm gonna cum again." She whimpered. Max stopped and looked up at her. "New record." He smirked and stood again, her legs still on his shoulders. He stroked his cock, leaving it at her entrance. "Can you just fuck me?! I don't know what the problem is!"
He pushed in and started a quick pace. Y/n's fingers dropped to her clit, rubbing it to match the rhythm of Max. "Who's my good girl?" He asked. Y/n couldn't speak. She could only hum in response. "I can't hear you, schat." He said, edging her on to answer. "Oh my god, me! I am!" He grinned. "Max, can I cum?" She asked. "Wait for me, schat. You're taking it so well for me." She took her legs off his shoulders and sat up, gripping his shoulders now and kissing him again. She moved her hips to meet his thrusts and in no time, Max began moaning and his thrusts became sloppy. "Can we cum now, Maxie?" She pouted with a strained voice. That was enough for Max to come undone. Her begging and her using his pet name. "Ugh, fuck- yes!" He replied before they both came undone, holding onto eachother. As they rode through their orgasms, they simply kissed before Max pulled out and the pair went to change and get ready to leave the track. "Look, you've been a good teammate." Max said. "Well, yeah. I don't think any other teammate would suck you off in between sessions." Y/n replied. Max smiled and looked back but she wasn't laughing. She was tying her race boots. "Y/n, besides that. I mean this, you've been one of my better teammates." Y/n watched as Max walked towards the door and he looked back. "Just, consider re-signing?" He said, before closing the door and leaving.
A week later, Max scrolled through his phone when he came across an Instagram post.
Y/L/N RE-SIGNS WITH RED BULL FOR 2024 AND BEYOND
Max grinned and opened his messages
Congratulations on resigning. We should meet up to celebrate ; )
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the--rebel--fae · 4 months
Note
ME ME FIRST IM FIRST PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ALASTOR X FEM READER WHO LIKE A HOUSEWIFE IN THE HOTEL AND TAKES CARE OF NIFTTY AND CHARLE AS IF THEY WERE HER AND ALASTOR CHILDREN
A/N: You my friend, caught my attention first because of such an adorable response. So ask and ye shall receive! Here's hoping I do Alastor justice.
(This is an adorable request btw)
Pairing: Alastor x Fem! Reader
Tw: None! Just pure fluff!
Word count: 745
The Hazbin Bunch
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Ever since you came to the Habin Hotel, it felt like everyone was a little family. You were an older demon, having died back in the forties. So you have been in hell for quite some time. 
When you first saw the TV commercial you wanted to see what it was all about. Especially since you heard that your old friend Alastor was involved. You haven’t seen him in years. Seven to be exact. And to know that he was back sent butterflies in your stomach. You never told him, but you always harbored feelings for the eccentric radio host. You never had the guts to tell him though since you feared messing up your friendship.
Little did you know, he had feelings for you as well. Alastor was already intrigued with you when you first met. Just the way you carried yourself and treated others. It was also a plus that you hated that infernal TV just as he did. Plus, you were a great conversationalist and probably the only one who could keep up with him when you had the time to dance.
Soon enough, Charlie, Vaggie, Husk, Angel Dust, Nifty, and even Sir Pentious became family to you. Almost as if they were your children. 
“Nifty my dear, if you truly want to kill those little bugs I suggest you swing your knife in a diagonal direction instead of a perpendicular. That way, they have less of a chance to escape.” You told the little red-headed cyclops girl as she chased around a few stray roaches.
Nifty paused briefly and looked up at you from your seat at the bar. “Ooh! That’s a great idea! Less chance for them to escape hehe.” She giggled creepily and then started back on her roach hunt. 
You shook your head and smiled fondly at the girl. Then turning back to Husk you regarded him with a warm smile. “Well, since I’m here I mine as well indulge in a small drink. What do you have in mind for me today Husk? I do so love the different drinks you concoct. If you worked at a bar back in my days on Earth, you’d be regarded as an artist.”
Husk chuckled as he started up your drink. “Weren’t you alive durin’ prohibition times though?”
You just waved your hand nonchalantly. “Ah, semantics. Besides, you know what they say. Nothing fun ever comes from following the rules.”
“How right you are Cher! Why if people followed the rules, things would be so terribly boring.” Alastor said as he popped out from seemingly nowhere.
Husk handed you your drink and you smiled as you took a sip. “Oh, hello Al. How was the radio show today?”
Alastor’s eyes lit up and his smile shone brightly. Most people would find it off-putting but you personally loved it. “It went splendidly, my dear! Thank you for asking.”
You were about to say something more, but then Charlie came down the main stairs drawing your attention. “Charlie, my dear! How are you, sweetie? Do you feel any better since the latest meeting with that infernal angel? Ad-what’s his name? The first man, I guess?”
Charlie met your gaze and smiled. “I’m doing a little bit better (y/n), thanks. But you don’t have to worry so much. That meeting was a month ago!’
You just chuckle. “That may be so, but I can tell how stressed you’ve been hun.”
Angel Dust clicks his tongue as he takes a seat beside you. “You know toots, sometimes it seems like you're the mom of this place with how ya act.” He then glanced at Alastor who unbeknownst to you was gazing fondly at you. “An if you're the mother of this joint, that’d make ol smiles here the dad.”
“Haha! You know, that doesn’t sound too bad Ma Cherie. I’d consider myself lucky to be assumed to be your husband.” Alastor said as he put a hand on your shoulder.
Instead of commenting, you could only blush furiously. Feeling the heat crawl all the way up to your ears, you tried your best to compose yourself and hide your growing smile behind your glass. Almost hoping that Alastor didn’t catch how much his comment made your long-dead heart soar. But he was no fool, he could see that beautiful smile of yours even as you tried to hide it behind the crystalline glass. 
Perhaps you truly were like a little family after all. 
Hope you enjoyed the story my friend! I gotta say, this was an adorable request. I had a lot of fun with it!
And if you guys want even more stories--like maybe your own personalized several page long one shots or even a multi-chap fic take a look at my Etsy Shop! I do commissions! I even have listings for Hazbin Hotel!
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sports-on-sundays · 8 months
Text
serious / LN4
Summary: Lando Norris x girlfriend!reader - The problem is worse than Lando expected. And Lando is worse at comforting than you expected. Takes place after the Singapore 2023 Grand Prix.
Warnings: GIF is not mine!!!, me possibley being super inaccurate abotut how stuff actually works but it's okay because I was just having fun writing and it's fine, censored cussing, crying/sobbing pushing for intimate things when reader doesn't want to - NO SMUT, screaming, the shock of learning of the death of a loved one, a bit of angst
Requested?: Nope.
Author's Note: I'm currently feeling very affectionate feelings towards Lando. Which means I'm gonna have a lot of desire to write Lando brainrot.
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Just as your mother hangs up, you hear your boyfriend's voice practically squeal behind you, "Y/n! There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere. Why'd you leave early?"
"Lando, I-" you start, but are interrupted by Lando's arms wrapping around you from behind and him exclaiming, "P2, pumpkin! P2!"
That nickname sprouts from a few different factors. One is that it's not an uncommon pet name. Another is that when you first met, your hair had been dyed orange, and you were decked out in papaya from head to toe. And, of course, the fact that anything pumpkin flavoured is just about your favourite food ever is another good reason for the nickname.
But right now, you're not in the mood for pet names. "Lando, that's grea-"
He hugs your middle tighter, resting his chin on your shoulder, muttering, "I'm so disappointed you weren't there to see me... It was so fun..."
Suddenly, you feel guilty. And suddenly, you feel like if you were to start going on about your problems, right now, when Lando is so happy... That would just be wrong. So you, somehow, allow yourself to not even process the news you just got on the phone with your mother, and say softly to Lando, "Oh, that's great...! I... I'm so sorry I didn't see. I would have... I would have loved to." It takes all you have to not let your voice crack. You just have to hope that in the darker lighting, Lando won't be able to notice your tear-stained cheeks.
"It's okay... It was amazing. Carlos got P1, and Lewis P3."
You find a smile, turning around to face him, looking up at him in his eyes, which appear to be a greyish blue in this lighting. They shine in the dimly lit night. You hope yours don't shine as much as his are. Because if yours were shining that much, you know it'd be because of tears.
He strokes your cheek. His defined curls are a little messy, and his hand soft on your skin. He grips your waist gently then, slowly swaying back and forth.
It's a strange feeling. With Lando being so happy at getting P2 in the Singapore Grand Prix alongside his friend Carlos, the joy is just radiating off of him towards you. But you can't accept it. The pain you feel right now is like a shield against letting his good mood rub off on you.
Don't cry.
You should've been there to hug and kiss him as soon as he exited the car. You should've been there to watch him step on that podium and spray that champagne. You should've. You should've. You should've.
You would have loved too. Along with the pain of the news you just received, the regret of not being there to see Lando is too much, crashing down on you.
You start walking, arms linked, to the car. Once you're in and Lando has started driving, you mutter, "We're just going back to the hotel, right?"
"Oh, uh, sure! As long as that's what you want," you boyfriend responds. You feel a sinking feeling. You feel so bad.
"Why? What else did you have in mind?"
"Oh, nothing really," he shrugs. "It wasn't any real cemented plans. And regardless, you're probably right. It's been a long night. Fun, but exhausting. I'm definitely tired." And, as if just to prove it, he gives a big yawn. You nod, staring ahead at all the streetlights in the lit up night. Because of everyone trying to leave all at once, and the huge amounts of people, unsurprisingly, you're stopped up, and moving pretty slow. You sigh. You just want to get to the hotel to sleep and snuggle your boyfriend as soon as possible. You're not sure how soon as soon as possible could be now, looking at this traffic.
"So, why did you have to leave your seat, anyway?"
You swallow. You honestly were hoping he would've just forgotten about that, in the excitement of his podium. But nope. Of course he didn't. He only remembers things when it shouldn't matter to remember them. But forgets everything important.
"Well, I just had a long... phone call," you respond, surprised that's technically not even a lie. "We were talking about some really complicated stuff. I needed to leave to... talk about it."
"Oh, alright," he nods, completely trusting you. It's sweet how much trust he puts in you.
"Hey, pumpkin, really?" Lando asks, shaking you awake. "Are you alright?"
"Hmmm?" you grunt softly, your eyes fluttering open.
"We're at the hotel. You fell asleep while I was driving there." He helps your tired body out of the car, and you make your way to the hotel room together.
The moment the door clicks behind you and you're inside the hotel room with your boyfriend, he pushes you against the door, making out with you, his hand cupping the nape of your neck.
You feel sick.
He runs his hands in your hair, on your neck, and down your body.
Finally you're the one to pull away, but before you have a change to say a word, Lando leans in and starts speaking. He has such a big mouth- he's always been this way, since you met. He's never able to shut up. "Pumpkin, I can tell you haven't had as much of a good day as I have. Can I share some of my happiness with you?"
He kisses you all down your neck, but it doesn't feel good.
His nickname for you has always been pumpkin. And yours for him has always been 'sunshine' or 'my sunshine'. Whenever you're feeling bad, he always manages to make you feel better. He's like the sunshine to your cloudy day; the light to your darkness.
But now you don't feel it.
"Lando," you breathe. "Can we go to bed now?"
"Hmmm, whyyy?" he whines. "Are you sleepy? Has it been a long day? Do you need your beauty rest?" This lighthearted teasing right now honestly just feeling like insulting. Most of the time it would make you laugh and loosen up. Right now, it doesn't seem to be working.
"Lando," you sigh, shaking your head and stepping away. You stare into his eyes for a few seconds, before turning and slipping into bed. Not facing him.
You feel him standing across the room in silence for a few seconds, before he sighs and murmurs, "M'kay, Y/n. Well, sleep tight. Love you."
You sigh. Ever since the relationship started, he used that word. Love. The first time he said he loved you was on your first date. So because of that, sometimes you wonder when he means it, and when they're just sweet words he uses to try to make you feel better.
Right now, you're not sure which it is.
You sigh, knowing that you have to pretend to be going to sleep, despite the raging of your thoughts that's keeping your body from slumber.
You wake up in the middle of the night, and you feel Lando's arms around you and his body against your back. He just doesn't understand. You sigh again. Even when you turn away from him, he just clings on from behind. He's fast asleep- you can tell by his soft, deep breath on your neck. All cuddled in. With not a care in the world. You sigh again, pressing your cheek against the pillow, clamping your eyes shut tightly, wishing the pain would go away. Wishing you could be happy with Lando's podium. Wishing you could be sleeping just as contently as him.
Your thoughts rage again. It's so strange. The world, so peaceful, but your head, in turmoil. But the sounds outside of your head- Lando's breathing, the heating vent, cars going by outside... You imagine all the happy people. Partying... Whatever they do. You forget.
You suppose there have got to be other people laying awake right now, too, though. Maybe other people with their partner sleeping next to them, but not sleeping next to their partner. You swallow.
Lando, I need you. I need you to help me. Why won't you help me?
"Are you feeling better?" Lando asks as soon as your eyes are fluttering awake the next morning.
You sigh, turning to face him. Him and his beautiful shining eyes in the morning light. "No, I'm not..." you breathe, deciding now that the night is over, it's okay to talk with him now, explain your distress, and be honest. "I'm still not feeling great. Last-"
But he interrupts you.
"Oh, Y/n, then I want to make you feel great..." he says it in a soft, seductive voice that makes you feel just a little sick. He strokes your cheek, before leaning in and slowly caressing your neck with his tongue.
But suddenly, an indescribable rage fills up in you, pushing out the pleasure that was sneaking in, and you push him away. You throw off the white sheets and quickly slip on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt from your open suitcase on the floor. Lando is about to say something, but you grab the closest thing to your hand- the television remote- and throw it at him as hard as you can. It's on target, but because of his cursed reflexes he dodges it.
"Y/n-"
But it's your turn to interrupt him. "Lando, stop!" you practically scream, tears starting to fill your eyes. "You don't even care! You don't care! You just want to enjoy my body and celebrate all in the name of 'comforting me'! You're not even asking what the f*cking problem is! You're terrible! Terrible! You're a terrible boyfriend!" Now the tears are coming down in steady streams, and words that you don't even mean- venom- escapes from your mouth:
"Lando, I hate you!"
He looks shocked, and slips out of the bed, holding a hand out to you. He takes a step closer, but you flip him, slip on your slides, and leave the hotel room, slamming the door as hard as you can behind you.
You run away from him, crying the whole time. You go to the completely different side of Singapore. You find a spot to sit and cry, burying your wet eyes in your arms. Soon enough, you call your mother with shaky fingers. She picks up after three rings, saying softly, "Hey, Y/n..."
"Hi, Mum..." you trail off. "So... I'll head back to L- London... As soon as I can..." You're sure that your mother can tell by your voice that you've been crying. Ugly crying. She just sounds tired. Empty. That's kind of how you feel.
"Oh, sweetie," she says softly. "Thank you... I appreciate it... So, so much..."
"I know, Mum," you sigh deeply.
"I forgot to ask this last night just from the shock of it all but... On a slightly brighter note, Lando got second place, right?"
This comment makes you feel mixed. Good because your mother loves you and Lando enough to still look up the results of the Singapore Grand Prix after all the terrible tragedy that was just dropped on their family last night, especially since she doesn't even like Formula One. But anger at the mention of Lando himself.
You almost forget to respond. "Oh, right, yeah. He did... He's... happy about that. U-hm, so yeah, we'll leave Singapore as soon as possible and get back to London... And... yeah. We can deal with... everything."
"Yes..." your mother sniffs. "Right. Thank you... I should let you go now... Bye, I love you..."
"I love you too, Mum," you murmur, and then she hangs up. Your phone goes back to your contacts, and your eyes rest upon your brother's contacts. A slight desire to see what your last text conversation was raises up in you, but you fight it, shaking your head. You can't. You feel your eyes sprout tears again. And then your eyes linger on Lando's contact. He's sent messages to you, but you've ignored them. He tried calling once, but maybe didn't try again because he figured it was a long cause.
I need you, Lando. I'm broken. Your eyes linger again on your brother's contact. He's gone. How can he be gone that fast? You swallow, your world spinning around you, as if at any moment it will all just crumble down. Lando, I need to feel your strong arms. I need you. I need to tell you. Please. I need to feel your arms, because I'll never feel his arms around me ever again... You let out a soft sob, pulling at your tangled hair, shaking your head. Your whole body is shaking. Lando, I need you. So why don't you care? Why?
Why are you so selfish?
You're not sure how much time passes. Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Either way, it's too much to be basking in this agony...
Suddenly, your phone rings.
You're relieved to see it's not Lando, but instead it's...
Oscar?
You only got his number because you needed to text him about something a couple months ago- you honestly don't even remember what it was, it was so unimportant. You have a policy generally of not texting other guys, since you're in a relationship. But in confusion, you answer it, and speak softly, not wanting it to sound like you've been crying. "Oscar?"
"Y/n," he says.
"What's up?"
"Where are you? W-"
"Did Lando tell you to call me?"
He sighs, and after a few seconds of hesitation, says, "Listen, Y/n. Lando's worried sick. He's practically pulling out his hair. If you'd've heard all the stuff he's rambling about..."
"What's he rambling about?"
"He's sorry, he didn't know, he needs you back. You know. He's nervous. He's getting way too nervous, though, talking about you breaking up. He still hasn't told me what happened, though."
"So he told you to call me?"
"No. I called you because I and everyone else is sick of Lando's stressing. So if you would kindly come back and comfort your boyfr-"
You know there's a teasing aspect in Oscar's voice, and you know it's just because he doesn't understand, but you still feel anger raise up within you because of it. "He should be the one comforting me!" you snap, your voice cracking.
There's a few seconds of silence, before Oscar says much gentler and softer, "Are you okay, Y/n?"
"No, I'm not okay! And Lando doesn't f*cking care, either!" Deep down, you know you shouldn't talk to Oscar like this, considering you don't even know each other that well, but it just feels like you can't hold your painful words back.
"Uh... One moment, please..." You wait a few seconds in confusion, before Oscar says, "Lando wants to talk to you."
"Oscar n-"
"Y/n," Lando's voice says over the phone.
Just the sound of him saying your name like that hits you in the heart like an arrow and causes you to start to bleed.
Just the sound of his voice saying your name.
"Lando..." you say, not even sure what to feel.
"Y/n, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Just please come back. Where are you? Are you okay? Are you safe?"
You hesitate. "I'm just sitting on a street corner..."
"Y/n, it's been hours!" he exclaims.
"Really?" you ask, genuinely numb and unaware.
"Yes! Please, come back to the hotel! I'm here waiting for you... We just... We need to talk. Obviously, we need to talk."
You swallow, a pit rising in your stomach. Your voice cracks as you say, "Lando, you..."
"I what?" he asks softly.
"Nothing..."
"Are you okay? Would you rather me come and get you?"
"No... I'll just come back to the hotel myself... And tell Oscar thank you."
"For what?"
"I don't know..." you shake your head, standing up. "Just tell him thank you."
"O... Okay. Um, well, see you soon, pumpkin. Bye."
"Bye, I..." Your voice trails off. You're so used to finishing that sentence in a certain way, but now...?
But now Lando finishes it for you. "...love you." And he hangs up.
You run to the bus stop.
The moment Lando sees you, he runs to you and envelopes you in a tight hug. You bury your face in his soft shoulder, and can no longer keep yourself from bursting into tears.
"Y/n, Y/n..." he breathes, stroking your hair. He leads you into the building and you step into the family bathroom for a little bit of privacy.
Quickly, you pull yourself together, taking a step back from him, looking up into his eyes. He looks back at you, and the twos words come from his lips: "I'm sorry."
You swallow. "For what?"
"I don't know what's wrong, but clearly it's worse than I thought... I was just so happy, and I figured if I could just make you feel better... But I went about it in the whole wrong way... I... I'm sorry, Y/n." He gently takes both your hands.
"Lando, I'm sorry, too..." you sigh. "Something... something terrible happened, and I just couldn't control my emotions, so I screamed at you and said... I said things that aren't even true. Lando, I... I don't hate you. I love you."
He seems slightly relieved, and gently rubs his thumb over your knuckles. "Why haven't you told me what's wrong?"
"Last night, I didn't want to, because I didn't want to ruin your moment of getting P2. Then this morning when I was about to tell you, you wouldn't let me..."
"Y/n," he breathes. "I know and I'm... I'm so sorry. I'll try harder. I'm so, so sorry. Can you... Can you tell me what's wrong now? I'm ready to comfort you now. I'm ready to quit being selfish now."
You look into his eyes for a few moment, before looking down, wiping the tears at your eyes before they even come. A part of you always wonders which of his words are fabricated and which ones are from the heart. "Last night, I left because my mother was speaking with me about something very serious on the phone..."
He looks at you with concerned eyes, patiently waiting for you to speak, only understanding now how serious this is.
You hesitate, before uttering, "Last night my older brother passed away."
Lando looks stricken, with wide, shocked eyes. His hands in yours start to tremble. It's like he's paralyzed.
Kind of like how you felt last night. In total shock.
Lando knew your brother. Not well, but he had met him. Your brother had teased him about McLaren, because he was just about the biggest RedBull fan around. He had teased him and treated him like a younger brother. And not only that, but you've talked about your brother a lot. Different, funny things he's always done, or a foolish story about him that you knew would make Lando laugh. Just nice things. You never spoke bad about your brother. But you spoke about him a lot.
Because you loved him.
It's terrible to think that now you're going to be speaking about him with 'was' and 'did' instead of 'is' and 'does'.
And then, Lando hugs you. It's warm. After a few moments, he slips his hands down under your thighs and picks you up. And he just holds you. Your tears are coming back, but you let them come.
"Now we have to plan the funeral and it's going to be so hard... Lando, I can't do this, but my mother needs help... As soon as we get back to London, I'm going to see her," you breathe, clinging to him.
He nods. "Would you like me to come with you, or would you prefer to go to see her alone?"
You shrug, shaking. "I don't know, Lando... Just... Just hold me..." You're holding the back of his shirt so tight. "You're all I need right now."
He kisses your cheek very gently, and does just that. But then he starts whispering. He whispers about random things, like the picnic we had the other day, or about how your favorite football team is doing. It's like he's reminding you- no matter what, the world is still spinning, and somehow, we're both still living humans who are going to be alright. "Y/n, I'm going to do everything for you, okay? Everything you need. I'm going to be there and help you when you need it. Because we're here for each other. We always will be. It's going to be okay, alright? I know it feels like your world is falling apart right now, but I've got you, and it's going to be okay in the end. Okay? Because I love you too much, and I'm going to help you through this."
I sniff. "Why couldn't you be like this right off the bat...?" I murmur.
"Be like what?" he asks in concern.
You sigh. "Why couldn't you comfort me like this right off the bat."
"Y/n, I'm sorry... I didn't know-"
"I didn't know you were able of comforting! I just thought it was something you couldn't do or something!"
You can see Lando swallow. "Y/n, I'm sorry. I didn't know... I'll try harder to-"
"It's fine," you breathe, shaking your head, although you're not sure how fine it really is, before leaning your head on his shoulder, sniffling.
He sighs big, obviously burdened. He kisses your cheek again. "Are you ready to head, then...? Or do you need more time...?"
"We have a long flight," you sigh. "We should get going now..."
Lando gently, slowly, slips you back down onto your feet. He strokes your hair, his face close to yours, looking into your eyes. "I'm here for you, okay?"
You nod, mopping up your wet, salty eyes with a paper towel. It's your turn to kiss his cheek now. "I understand, Lando. And I... forgive you. And I love that you forgive me, too."
"Of course I do," he says, exiting the bathroom, grabbing your hand. He puts his hood up and his sunglasses on. "I love you, pumpkin, okay?"
You sigh shakily, giving his hand a squeeze. "I... I love you, too... my sunshine."
959 notes · View notes
viperbarnes · 2 years
Text
No Strings Attached
Ex!Steve Rogers x Reader
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Summary: “Every time you’ve called me, I’ve come,” Steve says, voice thick with hurt, and you clench your teeth. “Every. Time.”
Warnings: smut! language, hurt, exes to lovers <3
Notes: this is one of my fave oneshots i've ever written tbh. i really love the trope of people breaking up, because of xyz issue, and then the person with xyz issue actively works to resolve or change it, but with no expectation of reuniting, just because they want to be a better person. so ye, that's basically this whole fic lmao
Words: 15,849
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You make a sort of doe-eyed blank expression as you listen, that makes your building’s security guard duck his head a little lower into your line of sight and wave his hand.
“Ma’am?” You blink suddenly, snapping out of your spiralling thoughts and focus back on the man’s face.
“Huh?”
He smiles sympathetically and repeats himself.
“I asked if you had anybody who might come stay with you tonight? Super said he can’t get a hold of anybody who can change your lock…” You sigh and look around him at your door, it’s lock busted and breaking through the wood of the door.
You’d arrived home to find it like that, although the cops the security guy had insisted on calling said that it looked like no thief actually made it inside, probably got spooked. Seeing as none of your stuff was stolen or out of place, you’d have said they were right.
You run a hand over your hair and sigh.
“Uhm. Yeah. Yeah I do.” You nod your head, not actually coming up with a name off the top of your head, but you’re sure you’ll think of someone once you have a moment to breathe. The security guard nods.
“Do you want me to wait until they get here?” You smile and shake your head.
“Oh, no, no… it’s fine! I’ll be okay until then!” You assure him. You know he got paid for every hour he spent on the door, and not for any he didn’t.
He checks with you twice more before he leaves, and you shut your busted door behind him, slipping your side table in front of it in the meantime before you fumble through your bag for your phone.
You stare at your home screen for a solid two minutes, mind going over the people you’d feel comfortable calling, who you’d actually feel safe having stay with you overnight, and for the life of you, you can only come up with one name.
Unfortunately, this name belonged to your ex.
It wasn’t as if you and Steve Rogers hadn’t broken up amicably, or at least, you hadn’t ended badly, but for a moment you debate with yourself on if you really need to call anyone at all. You think about sleeping, knowing your apartment door was basically open.
You bring up his contact.
The first thing you see is a list of past calls and texts, the date signalling that the last time you’d called him had been almost seven months ago, and for a moment your eyes linger on that.
Seven months? It hardly felt like it, really.
You and Steve had met through work. You worked in the forensics at Avengers Tower, and so you’d occasionally see each other when the team had lab work to be done. It had been a slow progression for him to ask you out, and when he had, the two of you dated successfully for an entire year. Things were always slow with Steve, due in part to his schedule making it hard to really get anything done. If he wasn’t on a mission, he was resting from a mission, and the times you did go out or see one another were a lot less than you would have liked.
It’s why you broke up.
Steve was a great guy, the best you’d ever dated, but his work was his first true love and honestly? You required more attention than he could give. You weren’t needy exactly, but when you made a plan, you tended to expect to follow through. Steve’s last minute missions, or his cancelling and rescheduling was understandable in his line of work, and if had only been every so often, you’d have been just fine.
But it wasn’t, and you weren’t.
And so… you’d broken up. You’d explained to him that while you really liked him, you just didn’t mesh well together. He’d been understandably upset, but had told you he got it. You’d parted on good terms, with only a residual sadness lingering behind. Even now, you felt a small jolt of angst at even seeing his name written. Really, Steve was your perfect guy, and if he’d ever been around, you might’ve been able to experience more of that perfection.
You shake your thoughts aside and tap the call button, bringing the phone to your ear and waiting as the dial tone rings out. You can’t help but chew your lip as you wait, anxiety beginning to well up.
What if he didn’t answer?
What if he was on a mission?
What if he saw your name, and then didn’t answe—
“Hello?” You nearly gasp at hearing his voice, seven months suddenly feeling longer than before and you swallow thickly to remember why you were even calling in the first place.
“Steve… hey, it’s uh, me…”
“Yeah, I… I have caller ID on this phone.”
“Finally switch from the flip, huh?” You can’t help but shoot back, smile covering your features when you hear his warm chuckle on the other side.
“Yeah, it was time to change things up… Is everything okay?” Maybe he can hear it in your voice, or maybe he’s just that confused as to why you’re randomly calling him at ten on a Tuesday night, but you hear a note of concern in his reply that makes you want to curl up into a ball.
“Um… not really, no… I got home a little while ago and someone had tried breaking into my place—”
“—What? Are you okay? Did they take anything?!” You chuckle awkwardly at his immediate worry.
“Yeah, no— I mean, yes I’m okay, no they didn’t take anything.” You assert, and can practically see him letting out a breath.
“Uhm… I do have a favour to ask though, and I wouldn’t call if I had anybody else, but—”
“—Of course, whatever it is, just let me know.” You let out a shaky sigh and swallow again.
“The lock on my door is busted, and my super can’t get anybody in to fix it until tomorrow… I just… really don’t want to sleep here alone, with a broken door…” On the other side of the line you can hear keys clinking, and feel your tummy flop in dangerous ways.
“I’m coming out now. You want me to stay on the line?” You could fall to your knees and praise every god in existence for the special kind of beautiful Steve Rogers was.
“No, I’m okay, I just don’t wanna be alone later…” You cringe a little at how that might sound like a proposition, but Steve only hums.
“‘Course. I’ll see you in ten.”
When you hang up, you stare down at your phone for a few seconds.
And then you promptly drop it, head whipping around your messy living-kitchen space and quickly get to work tidying it to a presentable degree.
—-
Steve arrives almost exactly ten minutes later, the light knocking on your door followed by his voice.
“Hey, it’s just me!” He says, and you hurry to slide your end table out of the way, your door pretty much swinging open by itself.
For a moment you can only stare at him, dark blue jeans, white t-shirt, brown leather jacket. He’d grown his beard out since you saw him last, thick and golden and groomed just right to hit you in the lady parts. He seems fixated on you as well, though recovers far more gracefully, eyes dipping to look at your splintered door and he whistles.
“When you said it was busted, you meant it huh?” He asks, and you laugh, a little awkwardly, pulling the door wider as you usher him inside.
“Yeah… cops said they must have gotten scared off before they got inside. None of my stuff is missing or moved.” You explain, closing the door behind him, and when he sees you move for the table, steps forward to help you, looking at your makeshift barricade up and down for a moment when you’re done.
“Good. That’s good.” You look up at him again as silence falls upon your apartment, and find he’s already looking back at you. Realising you hadn’t even changed from work yet, and you’d cried a little bit after discovering the break-in, you attempt to smooth your hair down and wipe any potential makeup from under your eyes.
“Jesus, I must look like a mess.” You sort-of apologise, trying to play it off with a chortle, but Steve shakes his head, smiling kindly.
“Not at all.” Is all he says, and you hate the fact the completely non-committal sentence makes your belly flop again.
“Oh, uh, can I get you anything? Coffee, tea? I think I have a six pack in the fridge…?” You gesture to your kitchen, but move for your fridge anyway, Steve shoving his hands in his pockets as he follows, shrugging his shoulders. You find the beer behind your salad, and pull it out.
“Well, I’m having one.” You tease, setting the pack on the counter as you attempt to pull a bottle from the plastic rings. Maybe you’re just too exhausted, maybe this particular plastic was just stronger than you, but it doesn’t budge and Steve steps forward, hands already out.
“Let me…” He offers, even as you let him take your chosen bottle from you, tearing it out as if it were nothing. It likely wasn’t, for him, and you swallow, the room feeling warmer suddenly.
“Thanks. Help yourself.” You nod to the pack, a little thankful he takes one too, placing the rest back in your fridge.
“I uhm, I might go shower and change, I haven’t even thought about that yet…” You gesture down at yourself again, and Steve nods.
“Whatever you need.” He tells you, and then points to your couch.
“Mind if I watch the game?” You frown, but nod anyway.
“Who’s playin’?” You both move over into your living room, and you quickly find and toss him your remote.
“Mets vs Giants.” He says, and you ‘ah’, watching for a moment as he flicks to the right channel, your eyes finding the score and you wince, turning back to him.
“Hope you don’t have any bets on your boys.” You say, faux-sympathy dripping from your voice. Steve gives you an unimpressed eyebrow, pointing at you.
“We’ll come back.”
“If it makes you feel better.” You tack on, but burst into a laugh as he rolls his eyes, making himself comfortable on your couch. You note with mild amusement he takes the same spot he would always take up, before you’d broken up. Apparently one of your couch cushions was just comfier than the rest.
You leave him there to go get cleaned up at last, and relish in the hot water as you do little more than just stand under it for ten minutes. Despite your stress from the past few hours, you feel oddly light, Steve’s sudden reappearance back in your life, in your apartment making you feel a little woozy, but only in a good way.
You try to tell yourself that it was only because your breakup had been so amicable, if he were any of your other ex’s you wouldn’t be feeling the way you do…
You dry off and dress quickly, throwing your hair up before stepping back out into the living room. Crossing your arms over your chest in some subconscious way of shutting yourself off to how damn good he looked, you take a seat on the opposite end of the couch, grabbing your beer again and tipping it back.
“Cops get the security footage from the hall?” He asks, one hand around the neck of the bottle he rests on his thigh, the other thrown over the back of the couch toward you, almost invitingly. You blink for a moment as you process his question and hum.
“Yeah. But it’ll probably get written off if the guy didn’t, you know, look straight into the camera or something. You know how they are.” Steve tears his eyes from the TV and looks at you with a frown.
“You get a case number? I’ll follow up tomorrow, make sure they—” Before you can really stop yourself, you cut him off.
“—Steve you don’t have to do that.” The blond shuts his mouth, and you can practically hear the words unspoken.
‘Because you aren’t my boyfriend’. For a moment you can both only stare, until Steve nods and looks away, his brow smoothing out as he relaxes, but the tick in his jaw tells a different story.
“Well, let me know if you need to…” You can’t help but smile a little, behind the rim of your beer, and you take another sip before turning back to the game.
The Mets make a comeback and you finish the night cursing under your breath. You weren’t a Giants fan by any means, but you made a habit of rooting for anybody going against the Mets.
Steve helps you pack away the light snacks and empty beer bottles, all the while wearing a smug grin, and you can’t even stay too annoyed. Smug and playful was always a good look on him.
As you put away the last of the rubbish, you yawn a little and check the time.
“I might head to bed… I’ll get you some pillows and stuff…” You announce, and ignore when he looks up at you in favour of making for the linen closet. You do however grab the pillow from your bed that you know he used to favour, and lay it all out on the couch. When you look up again, Steve is pulling his jacket from his shoulders, and laying it over the back of the opposite couch.
“Uhm, if you need to leave, could you just wake me up?” You ask, stepping back, and Steve frowns deeply, cocking his head.
“Leave? Why would I need to leave?”
“I don’t know… if you’re needed, I guess…” You shrug, shifting awkwardly and for a few seconds Steve’s face filters through a few emotions. Confusion, concern, offence, and then some sort of resignation.
“I— you know if you really needed me, I wouldn’t leave… right?” He asks, and you feel something stir in your chest. It isn’t exactly positive like all the other feelings you’d been having tonight, more like a sting of annoyance, of hurt and you purse your lips, shrugging again and looking to the side.
“I don’t know. You’re important, I’m sure people would need you a lot more than me.” You don’t mean to sound so passive aggressive, but you can’t help it.
He’d never made a point of making sure he’d be around before, the fact you even caught him on an off night is surprising to you. Steve’s brow dips and he opens his mouth, but you cut him off once again, pointing to the kitchen.
“Feel free to take whatever you want from the fridge, I’ll make sure not to sleep in too much… goodnight, Steve.”
You turn on your heel and don’t wait for a reply, shutting your bedroom door behind you. You know he can still hear whatever you do perfectly, so you don’t let out a sigh, or groan at your own fat-headedness, instead you switch off all your lights and settle under your covers.
In seven months you hadn’t felt out of place once in your room, but now, with Steve sleeping in the next room, your bed suddenly feels all too big.
—-
Strangely, despite your pass-agg comments, after that night you and Steve actually begin speaking again. At first it was just his texted check ups, making sure your door got fixed, making sure you were alright, making sure the cops did their jobs… it was sort of nice actually, to be friends with Steve again. He’d even shown his face down in forensics. You know his lack of attendance, Nat, Sam or Bucky showing up in his place, hadn’t been coincidental post your breakup, but the first day he shows up to deliver evidence for testing, you almost sigh at how much you’d missed seeing his face down there.
You actually think you become closer than you had been before, platonically that is. Steve doesn’t seem to make any moves toward rekindling your romance, and honestly? You were just fine with that. Steve was a great guy, but you couldn’t deal with his schedule… even if he did seem to be around more these days.
You don’t ask. You don’t even really think about it, instead chalking it up to good timing and coincidence.
You were wrong though.
Steve clinks the top of his glass with Sam’s as the man passes him his refilled drink, and the three men, including Bucky, settle back down around their seats on the Tower’s balcony.
“So, hey, can I ask you something?” Sam clears his throat some, and Steve cocks his head, gesturing for him to go ahead.
“You and Doc… are you guys like… getting back together, or…?” The blond squints, his face scrunching up a little as he looks off, sighing some.
“We’re just friends.”
“Yeah, but I mean, you went from not talking at all to hanging out again.” Bucky chimes in, and Steve shrugs, eyes finding his shoes.
“I don’t think she’s interested anymore. If friendship is all she wants, it’s what I’ll give.” Sam and Bucky make eye contact, sharing a frown between them and Sam leans forward slightly.
“Sure, but man, you changed up your whole shit for her… You don’t even wanna try again?” Steve sighs and finally looks back up at them.
“It wasn’t necessarily for her… but she was right. How am I supposed to foster any sort of relationship if I don’t make time for it? What we do is important, but I have to be able to prioritise other things. It’s not fair on anybody in my life.”
Bucky hums. He for one was glad Steve had taken a slight step back from the Avengers. Not only did it mean Sam and Rhodey were given more chances to lead, but it had upped the pressure on everyone slightly, in a good way. Previously Bucky would have felt anxious going on a solo mission with another member who wasn’t Steve or Sam, but now he regularly went on ops with Wanda, his bonds with other members growing immensely.
He clears his throat and reaches out to squeeze Steve’s shoulder some.
“I know how you felt about her, but I think you did the right thing.” Steve gives the dark-haired man a long look and a soft smile, ducking his head.
“What was that thing your Ma used to say?” He asks, and Bucky frowns a moment, before his face lights up again in recognition.
“‘Some folk only bless your life so you can learn from them’.” He says, and Steve hums, raising his glass.
“I’ll drink to that.”
—-
It’s late, you should really be asleep by now, but you’ve been lying awake for hours now. Springtime in New York made the night air warmer than you were used to, and the slightly hot feeling of your body was not helping.
You growl in annoyance and switch your vibrator off, tossing it lightly into the open drawer of your bedside table. Between your thighs your clit still throbs slightly, but you hadn’t been able to make yourself cum in the almost two hours you’d been trying, and your hand was going numb from all the vibrations.
You were damn near desperate. You needed to be fucked, good and proper and thoroughly. With only a moment's hesitation, you reach for your phone and tap out a text.
You up?
Steve: Is everything alright?
It’s fine. Come over?
There’s a minute or so where you see the three dots appear as Steve begins typing, before they disappear, and then reappear, only to disappear once more. You almost smile to yourself. He was unsure.
Come over, pleeeaaaseeee?
Steve: … Are you alright?
You huff this time, and purse your lips. You could be forward here and now, giving him an out, or you could wait till he arrived, which might be far less convenient for your pride if he rejected you.
I need you… please…
This time Steve doesn’t type and then retype his messages, instead you’re forced to stare at your read receipt for a full two minutes before a reply comes back, your body lighting on fire the second you process the four little words.
Steve: Be there in ten.
Anticipation builds in you like a storm, and you quickly straighten your sheets, spritz some perfume, fix your hair a little, and pull on a gown, all in time for the knock on your door. The sound is curt and tense and you swallow thickly as you hurry to answer it, sliding your locks back before swinging it open.
Steve stands once again in dark jeans, this time with a dark grey sweater on. His hair was slightly damp still, messy, and you figure he must have just gotten out of his the shower when you’d texted. His eyes find you quickly, a little wide, a little confused, and with all the desperation from the past two hours fueling you, you pounce on him.
You’re lucky he’s as stable and strong as he is, you throw yourself bodily at him, arms wrapping instantly around his neck, your lips pressing to his own hungrily and he returns in kind, one hand steadying you around your middle, the other tangling up into your hair at the back of your head. You almost mewl at the way his hand clutches at your scalp, and you let him walk you back inside, his foot kicking your door closed behind you.
You keep moving, until your back hits your kitchen bench, and you take the moment to pull open your gown, letting it fall to the floor as your hands move for his own sweatshirt. The fabric is quickly discarded, and you’re a little surprised to hear Steve’s groan at your skin on skin contact, his hands beginning to roam more adventurously now. You weren’t keen on messing around for too long, and you make quick work of his belt, letting him kick his shoes off before he shucks the jeans down himself, stepping out of them, all without pulling his lips from yours.
You sigh into his mouth as he captures your tongue with his own, bearing down on you intently, his hands holding you tightly against his own body like he was trying to pull you into himself. You let a hand drop from his face to the hardness against your abdomen and allow yourself to relish in the soft gasps Steve lets out when you pump your fist over him several times, before increasing your pressure, making him all out moan.
His lips fall away from yours, instead he trails sloppy kisses along your cheek and down your neck, pausing to adjust, widening his legs some. With your mouth free, you find the time to speak.
“This… this is just sex, alright? It’s not… it’s just sex…” You tell him, feeling how for a moment he pauses, and you dread it for a second when he pulls away a little to look down at you. His expression is unreadable, but he’s nodding soon, and you breathe out in relief.
“Gotcha.” Is all he says, and you’re forced to release his length as a moment later you’re hoisted up. Your legs wrap around him, even as you’re set on your countertop, and his mouth moves back to yours. It’s your turn to gasp when his hand drops between your thighs, fingers immediately dipping into the dampness at your core, a touch you’d been craving for too long.
“You really needed it that bad, you had to call me?” His voice is low, and you shiver. Steve’s bedroom talk was always amazing, and now, for some reason, the fact you weren’t even together makes it better. It felt dirtier, more obscene, and you nod, panting as he pulls his lips away from yours, his eyes falling to watch his hand slide from your folds.
You swallow, leaning back on the counter as he becomes more purposeful, two fingers prodding at your entrance, his thumb gravitating to your clit, already overstimulated. When he pushes his two fingers inside you, you let your head fall back and your eyes close, widening your legs even more to give him room to work as he begins slowly pumping back and forth.
“F-fuck…” You breathe, toes scrunching as his fingers move a little faster, curling them slightly to run along your g spot and you feel your legs start to quiver already. He seems to anticipate your squirming though, and uses his free hand to hold one leg, the other he keeps open with his own thigh, moving quicker now. A slower moment lets him insert another finger, and soon you’re clutching around his neck again, needing something tangible to hold on to as he strokes you to finish.
“Steve! Steve, fuck, don’t— please don’t— ah!” You try to catch your breath before you even lose it, but you only swallow down more air as you cum, your hips shaking involuntarily against his hand as he continues to ride you through it, thumb never letting up over your clit until your head lolls back once more.
You’re about to speak, praise him perhaps, when his fingers pull away, taking your hips instead and any words you have are punched out of you with the feel of his hands drawing you onto his cock. You scramble for a hold again, gasping and moaning at the same time as you wrap your arms tightly around his neck.
“Holy fuck…!” You whimper, Steve already curling his hips up and into you, all the while lifting you from the counter itself to bounce you against his standing lap.
He liked this, you remember, liked being able to hold you up all on his own, control the pace, control his movement and yours.
“That okay?” His lips move against your cheek and you nod vehemently, a hand carding through the back of his hair.
“Yes! Fuck, fuck, I need it!” You squeeze your eyes closed as he really starts setting a pace, and you feel that deep spot inside of you that hadn’t been touched in months begin to light up. Regardless of your relationship issues, Steve had always been good in bed, his body fitting into your perfectly, his desire matching up with yours similarly so.
“Yeah? You need it, baby? … shit, I’ll give it to you, sweetheart.” His voice is like molten honey, running over you warm and sticky sweet, and you can’t help it, you pout a little, nodding at his words.
“Please… please!” You whine. You know how much he loved to feel needed, in and out of the bedroom, but that didn’t mean your mewling was all for show. You’d finished once, yes, but you were so pent up you were still rearing to go and Steve’s cock pounding into you hurriedly was only spurring you on. You needed release and he was going to give it to you. Your mind always went a little hazy, a little blank when he’d have you like this, you’d do practically anything he asked, and he knew it.
“Come on, sweetheart, one more, wanna feel you squeeze me…” You whine again with his added words, his lips nipping your ear and you nod, face falling into the crook of his neck as he continues to pant and puff with effort. Your sounds start becoming shorter, more gasped and as he slows to level you with long, deep strokes, your orgasm rolls over you, gentler than the last, though powerful still, amplified by the feel of your cunt actually clutching, gripping onto something as your muscles tense and flutter.
Steve groans, keeps up the longer, slower strokes until you begin to relax again, and with little warning, pulls out. He presses his cock against your inner thigh, but pumps with one hand until he’s sighing airily, thick hot streams of cum streaking over your thigh and abdomen as you watch.
For some reason, all you can think about for a few seconds is how he’d never come on you before. Always inside you, condom or raw, and the change in behaviour confuses you for a moment, but you don’t intend on asking.
You both pant heavily, still partially leant against one another as you catch your breath, and you feel a slight awkwardness settle over you. Would things be weird now? Would he expect more from this? For a moment you have to admit it was nice being back in his arms, nice to pretend he was yours, but reality sets in and you cool off.
Even if he was still your boyfriend, he would never really be ‘yours’. Not while he shouldered so much of the world’s responsibilities.
Steve settles you back on the lip of the counter, and you jump slightly at how cool it feels against your bare skin. As you finally make eye contact, a pit opens in your gut. Steve after sex was always a sight to behold, his hair hanging in his face, his cheeks flushed red and his lips swollen and parted… it makes your stomach lurch in longing, and you quickly clear your throat, gently pushing him back so you can stand.
Finding your robe on the floor, you quickly pull it on despite the sweat covering your skin, and look back toward Steve, though you avoid his eye contact.
“Uhm, do you want to wash up before you go?” You know if sounds a bit harsh, but you’d made it clear to him before you’d properly gotten started that this was just sex. You couldn't bring yourself to expect anything more from him, and risk another broken heart.
Steve blinks, and you see a brief moment of hurt flash across his features before they harden somewhat, and he straightens, tucking himself back into his pants gingerly and collecting his sweatshirt.
“It’s alright, I… I’ll clean up at home.” He says, and you have to cross your arms over your chest at the tight feeling that begins constricting you.
“Okay.” Steve hesitates, looks at you a moment too long before he nods to the door.
“I’ll get out of here.” He says, sounding far more casual than he had a moment ago, as if nothing at all had just transpired between you, and you latch onto that ease, making it easier for you to play along too.
“No worries…” You trail him to the doorway, holding it open behind him as he steps through and turns around. His mouth is open, poised to say something but for some unknown reason you decide to cut him off, a hand shooting out to land on his arm, and you squeeze just a little.
“Thank you, Steve.” You want to cringe at the sound of thanking somebody after sex, but really, it was more about the fact for the second time in a row he actually came when you’d needed him… even if the second was a far more rival affair…
Steve blinks at you slowly from under his long lashes, in that dreamy way he does when he’s thinking something sweet or mushy, and again your insides twist. He only ducks his head further and swallows, a small smile pulling at his lips, far too innocent for the acts you’d just committed barely inside your doorway.
“Of course, uh, anytime…” You snort a little bit, rolling your eyes, but he gives you a final little wave before you shut your door behind him.
You’re left staring at your living room and kitchen counter, eyes fixated on the spot you’d been hauled up against just minutes ago. Your mind immediately begins the playback and you groan, remembering the mess still on your thighs and between them, suddenly more bothersome and uncomfortable than it had been previous, and you retreat to your shower, questioning yourself on if sleeping with your ex, who you’d only just begun talking to again, was a good idea.
—-
You walk in on Steve almost kissing someone.
It’s one of Tony’s parties, the big ones, where he invites everyone and absolutely insists everybody comes, even if he’s only on face-name basis with them. It was actually the first gathering you’d been to with the Avengers since you and Steve broke up, certainly the first since you’d started fucking again. It was good to see Sam and Bucky and the others outside of a work environment, and you think from their genuine smiles and the way Sam keeps talking you into one more round of pool, that maybe they missed you too.
You finally manage to duck out from under Sam’s arm, in search of a bottle of water, when you stumble into the private kitchen, where you’d been told the fridge was stocked full. At first your brain lights up.
Steve was in here! You’d hardly spoken to him all night! But then his hand registers, more specifically, the hip his hand is on registers, and your eyes suddenly piece together the scene before you.
A young woman, pretty, you think you know her from HR actually, leans with her back against the counter, her hands both wrapped around Steve’s biceps. One of his arms is around her waist, the other on her hip and they’re both smiling softly, if not shyly, heads so close their lips are barely apart when you accidentally squeak in surprise.
Steve pulls away instantly, even before he’s seen it’s you, and you realise that whoever this woman was to him, it was new. Steve was always a little skittish with PDA with new relationships. You’d seen it with Sharon, before yourself, and then again with your own relationship… and now with this.
“Oh! I—!” You feel your face go warm and you mouth wordlessly for a moment as you point to the fridge. The woman ducks her head in slight embarrassment and awkwardness and you do feel terrible, despite the wave of grief that overcomes you at the fact Steve was actually moving on.
Not that he wasn’t allowed to… you just hadn’t thought he’d do it first.
“Uh, just, water…” You stutter, suddenly feeling rather sick. Steve follows your pointing, even as you begin to move, avoiding his eyes. It shouldn’t be so weird! The situation the two of you had was strictly no strings attached! Steve was allowed to start dating, so were you! Still… that didn’t mean you wanted to walk in on him about to lay it on a woman that wasn’t you.
You rush out of the room with your water before anybody can gain enough sense to actually talk, and you tuck yourself back between Sam and Nat quickly.
You spy Steve and the woman leaving the kitchen a short while later, and though you don’t see even a bit of smudged lipstick or beard burn, your mind starts to whir in anger. But you know it's unjustified, and you curse yourself for being nearly a year out of your relationship, and still jealous. You consider breaking it off with Steve in the coming week, but your mind wanders back to the way he’d tipped his head back in a moan only days before, the thick column of his throat bobbing as he swallowed, his hands bruising on your hips as you rode him hard.
You decide instead that you’ll just act as if you’d never seen anything at all in the kitchen.
—-
Moving on is… hard.
Not necessarily out of some romantic idea that Steve was ‘The One’, in fact you’re more resolved against anything romantic with him now than you were before, more so because you were… picky.
Even if you lower your standards, every guy you seem to give a chance ends up firmly in your ‘no’ pile after a few dates or less. Most of the time it was because your interests didn’t align, you found them boring or you just weren’t attracted to each other, but occasionally one slips through.
Tom, his name was and Tom was nice. He was polite, handsome, you could talk about both shared interests and your jobs (he worked for the city morgue). Tom was good. You were still unsure of anything long term, or anything serious at all for that matter, but for someone to hang out with and occasionally be kissed by, you could do a lot worse than Tom.
He takes you out almost like clockwork every Friday or Saturday night since you’d met (that was four dates so far), you’d get dinner, maybe some drinks, walk around for a bit, and then he’d kiss you goodbye at your door. It was sweet. Tonight though, tonight you aren’t after sweet at all.
A SHIELD agent you know has her birthday, or maybe it’s a joint party? You aren’t sure, all you know is that it’s at a club, you look hot as hell, and if Tom doesn’t put his hands on you later you’ll burst at the seams.
The club is dark and loud, meant for dancing and drinking, not conversation and polite small talk, and the moment the bouncer sees you inside, you grab Tom by the hand and drag him along, a wicked smile thrown over your shoulder. You do the customary rounds, saying hello to people you know, introducing Tom. You even manage to figure out who the birthday girl is, and give her a hug. You’re aware when you lean over the table to do so that your already short skirt rides up further, and you’re aware tom is standing right behind you, watching.
You make sure not to drink much, you had plans for later after all, but you act a little giddier than you are, letting your hand linger on Tom’s thigh, holding on to him more than normal. You coax him out to the dance floor and that's where you get him. Hot bodies writhe to a beat, pressed up against one another, it doesn’t seem as obscene in the dark. You grind your hips back into Tom’s, his hands snaking their way around your hips and you smile, because you know.
In the dim light and through the throng of bodies, a flash of familiar stops you for a moment. Blonde hair, wide shoulders, beard, beer in hand, untouched… You swallow for a second as you make eye contact with Steve. He must have been invited too, must not have had a mission to go on to get out of it either. Before he can lift an eyebrow or do anything at all, you look away, wrapping your arms around Tom’s shoulders, you lean into his ear.
“Let’s get out of here.”
This… this had not been what you’d had in mind.
Your bedroom is lit only by a spare few candles that flicker your shadows against the wall, and you watch them absently for a second longer, before dropping to rest on your elbows, your body moving in the rythmeric back and forth each time Tom’s hips gently buck into yours.
He can’t see your face since he’s got you on your hands and knees, and you’re glad for it, because you’re not sure you could fake it even if you tried. It wasn’t that it didn’t feel good, it was just… you aren’t sure… he touched you like he wasn’t supposed to, and if you’re honest it felt less like he was having sex with you and more like he was just having sex. You could be anyone right now, and he probably wouldn’t care.
Tom pants and moans and then stops, his hips stuttering gently before he pulls out and away from you.
“Bin in the bathroom?” He asks, and you plaster on your best post-sex look, and nod, rolling over in time to see him disappear into your ensuite to dispose of the condom. When he returns, you go about cleaning yourself up.
“That was great.” He chimes, and you offer him a smile. At least somebody had fun, though you note a little bitterly how he hadn’t even asked about you. Maybe Tom wasn’t so nice.
“Yeah!” You enthuse. You already knew he wasn’t going to stay the night, he’d made sure to tell you as much before you’d begun. You pull on a gown and help him dress and gather his things.
At the front door he kisses you chastely, and tells you he’ll call in the morning. Mentally, you cross him off your list, and close your door.
You seeth while you change your sheets, getting angrier and angrier over your situation. You should have known from the start there was no spark with Tom, you shouldn’t have tried to kid yourself! And he should have at least tried to make you cum!
A quick glance at the time tells you it's not too late, and you send off a text, expecting a gentle refusal.
What you don’t expect however, is Steve arriving at your apartment twenty minutes later, angry as all hell, and he all but pushes past you when you’ve opened the door, coming to stand in your living room with his hands on his hips, his brow low and his lips in a thin line.
“Are you serious?” He asks at last, when you’ve stood staring at one another for long enough. He gestures absently, but his hand comes back to his hip.
“Wha—”
“—Don’t.” He says sharply, and you shut your mouth. This was different… you’d never really seen Steve angry before, let alone angry with you… it doesn’t at all help your current situation though, and you swallow, adjusting your stance.
“You know damn well I saw you leave with him earlier! I can smell the sex in the air. You haven’t had enough already tonight?” The words are harsh and hurt lances through you momentarily, before defensiveness takes over and you cross your arms over your chest, lifting your chin a little.
“Excuse me? Who I spend time with and how is none of your business!” Steve scoffs and looks off for a moment, a mirthless smile on his face.
“Right. But you still want me to fuck you after anyway.” The vulgarity is new as well, and it occurs to you in the back of your mind, that he must be really pissed with you.
“If you didn’t want to come, you should have just said no!” You say, your voice sounding a little more shrill and a little more crackly than you want it too. All your bravado aside, Steve was imposing when he was angry, and the fact that anybody yelling at you, let alone him, was enough to make you cry, gives your voice a shake you didn’t ask for. Not to mention that you really hadn’t expected him to show up at all, especially angry.
Steve looks back at you, his fuming expression not exactly subsiding, but it softens some, and he drops one hand from his hip to rub at his brow before he looks back up at you, more exasperated now than anything else.
“Why did you call me?” He sounds tired, but you know an olive branch when you see one, and you snatch it, stepping closer, ducking your head.
“Why do you think…?” You shrug and purse your lips before looking up at him again.
“He was shit. You aren’t.” His shoulders square just a little at your words, and you know it's a bit of a low blow, any guy was likely to be more inclined to having sex with you if you compared him positively incomparison with another man. Steve cocks his head, lids dipping slightly and you know you’ve got him hook, line, and sinker.
“Is that right?” You’re right in front of each other now and you let your hands wind up around his neck, playing demure as he fixes you with a knowingly amused look, his hands landing firmly at your waist.
“Mhmn.” You hum, nodding, shrugging once again.
“He didn’t know how.” You say, pouting as Steve dips his face closer to yours, and again you find yourself pretending that this wasn’t just sex, that these arms where ones you could be wrapped in whenever you wanted.
“Didn’t know how to what?” Steve asks, voice deep and rumbly in his throat, his breath coasting over your lips, and you lean in quick, nipping at his mouth chastley, feeling his hands tighten at your waist.
“Didn’t know how to take care of me.” Magic words, really. Steve is on you in seconds, mouth devouring your own, the warmth of him engulfing and you let yourself sink into the fever.
Perhaps some of that anger still simmers under the surface, because he fucks you hard, his thrusts just a little more pointed, his fingers digging a little deeper into your skin. His teeth nibble at your lower lip making you keen for him with another gasp as his hips snap against yours once again.
He’s covering you completely, chest to chest, his arms rest around your head, caging you in, and you grasp onto him wherever you can, hiking your thighs higher around him as he drives into you quickly.
“You know, if I wanted to make a point,” Steve begins, his voice raspy and puffed slightly, and you peel your eyes open to look at him, his face so close to yours it almost makes you cross-eyed.
“I’d not make you cum either.” He finishes, and you start, a slight wave of panic setting in, and you open your mouth to preemptively beg, but then he’s shifting, a hand sliding between your sweaty bodies, fingers pawing until they find your clit, and you suck in air sharply.
Steve wears a lazy but wicked grin, and he begins swirling his fingers over your bundle of nerves, dropping his face low enough that when he speaks his lips brush over yours.
“But I like watching you cum while I fuck you.” As your breathing shallows, Steve seems to swallow down each short breath, eyes never leaving your face as you quickly feel your release creep up on you, his harsh, deep strokes combined with the rough pads of his fingertips rapidly spinning circles and you’re falling.
Steve uses his body to hold you down, prevent you from shaking or jerking too much as you topple over the edge of release, your pussy clutching onto his cock even as he grunts, continuing to grind into you as you call out his name over and over.
He drops his face to your neck as your senses come back to you, your brain feeling light and your eyesight a little dimmed from the sensations. You know any second now he’ll pull out, jerk himself until he spills on your stomach or thigh like he always seemed to nowadays, but something ticks in your brain, raw and primal and you hook your ankles as best you can behind him, raking your fingernails over his back in marks that will disappear by morning.
“She tighter than me, Steve?” You feel his head start to lift a little, but you gently bite at his earlobe, stopping him.
“Does she feel this good when you’re fucking her?” Something switches then in the atmosphere of the room, he picks up his pace again, and you jump when one hand fists in the back of your head, pulling your neck back and away. Steve glares down at you, though his game is half given away by the grunt he gives a second later.
“Shut up.” He says, though it isn’t half as harsh as you expect, and he rolls his eyes some, dropping his lips down to your exposed throat now and you feel a thrill run through you.
“Does she let you fuck her like this or is it gentle missionary only?” You press on, yelping a little when teeth scrape at your skin warningly, and the hand in your hair tightens, pulling.
“Because you know I’d let you have me any which way… on my knees, under you, over you… fuck,” You pause, panting a little with effort as he fucks you even harder, each word punched out of you.
“Fuck, I’d let you have my ass if you brought the lube…” Triumph colours you as Steve  groans, gasping almost, his fist at your scalp a little painful as he curls his hips deep once, twice, three times more before you feel him finish, and he stills.
Your bodies are hot and sticky with sweat against one another, and you can feel him shake a little in his come down as he finally relaxes.
Like always, in the aftermath you’re both silent for a few moments before Steve lifts his head, his chest heavy against your own, and he fixes you with a unconvincingly unamused expression.
“Thought I told you to shut up?” He asks, shifting to hold up more of his own weight, and you pretend to not hear him, cocking your head.
“Towel?” He seems to relent, rolling off of you and sinking into your mattress as you hop up, moving to your bathroom to grab a spare towel.
When you return, you almost falter for a few seconds in the doorway, swallowing thickly. Steve lies on your bed, one arm hooked under his head, naked as anything, looking like he belonged there. Your chest lurches, and your stomach falls to your knees as you force yourself to keep moving, gently tossing the towel at him as you gather your gown once again.
You’ll shower when he’s gone.
“Really that bad, huh?” He asks when he’s drying his hair, his underwear now pulled up around his hips, and you sigh, smiling slightly.
“Honestly… I think I’m pretty forgiving, but he didn’t even try. I’m the one who had to suggest we change positions even!” It’s easy to fall into this routine with Steve, especially after you’ve both been satiated, but it’s not really a dynamic that exists anywhere else at any other time.
At work you were friendly but professional, around friends you were polite but never seemed to stray too close (neither of you wanted a particular redhead in your business), and you made a point of not hanging out outside of that. You were already sleeping together, that was more than enough. Anything more would just make you hope, and hope would only let you down.
Steve was still Steve. He was still the guy everyone turned to in a crisis, he was still the man on the ground nine times out of ten. You broke up for a reason, and you needed to keep that in mind.
Steve shoots you a wince and scrunches his nose as he pulls his shirt over his shoulders and pops his head through the hole.
“I’m sorry for… yelling.” He says after he’s pulled on his pants, and you frown, looking away.
“Don’t be… I probably shouldn’t have called you.” You say, missing the dip in his brows when you don’t look away from one of your flickering candles. Steve purses his lips as he threads his belt through his pants, but shrugs.
“You should just tell him, if you like him”
“Nah… I don’t think there’s much there for me anyway. I don’t know.” You wave him off and stand as he pulls on his jacket. This part was always the most awkward.
“Whatever you want.” He readies his keys and you move with him to the door. You always felt like you were missing something in your goodbye’s, but a hug or a kiss or a thank you was the exact last thing you wanted to do.
Keep it casual.
Steve pauses at your door, his expression unreadable and you fold your arms over your chest, flashing him an easy smile.
“Drive safe, Steve.”
“Goodnight. Sleep well.”
—-
“Wait, what?” You turn in your seat to look at your coworker Lucy, who nods, and finishes her mouthful of yoghurt.
“Yeah, right! Two in the morning and I’m getting calls to analyse samples as if I’m at the off—”
“—No, I meant…” You trail off, mind whirring, trying to think over the details you knew already.
“I didn’t know they’d gone on a mission…” You finish with instead, sitting back in your chair.
It wasn’t like you knew the Avengers schedule off my heart, or that it was your job to know everytime they left the tower. It made sense as to why Steve hadn’t been talkative the past few days though… Still, he’d confirmed that your ‘meeting’ was still happening this afternoon, even though you’d just gotten word that the team was landing in two hours.
Lucy chitters on until your half-day ends, at which point you quickly pack up your things and make your way to the elevator. You consider calling in to the upper floors, the residential ones, to speak with the man himself, but you decide against it. It wasn’t like you were a regular up there, it would be weird and raise questions, not to mention that given his recent return from a mission, he was likely in debriefings or writing up his reports.
You pull out your phone instead and send off a quick text.
‘Just heard you got in from an assignment… Do you want to reschedule this afternoon? I know you’re probably tired as hell…?’
Steve doesn’t reply right away, and honestly you don’t expect him too. You make it all the way home before your phone buzzes, and you find yourself staring for several minutes at the words on the screen.
S: ‘I’m happy to come over, if you’re still free. I’m totally fine.’
You send him a quick confirmation, but can’t help but chew on your lip. Part of you wonders why he’d bother. You know he was lying about being fine, super soldier or not, everybody liked their downtime after an extremely stressful few days, and coming to your ex-girlfriend’s house for a hookup wasn’t exactly that… then again, maybe he really needed his itch scratched. Who were you to judge?
You’d finished your day at two, which was nice, and you do a quick clean up of your apartment before Steve was set to arrive at four. You shower and change and throw a little bit of makeup on, finishing just as your doorbell rings.
When you open the door, you can see right away that he’d been lying about being fine. Maybe nobody else would notice, but you had spent a considerable amount of time around Steve, and you could pick out his undereye bags straight away. To anybody else he’d look completely normal, but his shoulders slump just so, his smile just a little too tight.
“Hey.” He greets as you step aside, letting him kiss your cheek as he enters. You don’t know when that became a thing, but it was something you’d seen him do with a few of his female friends, so you let it slip, knowing it wasn’t just you.
“Hey…” You shoot back, suspicion slightly etched on your words. Steve immediately rolls his eyes, shaking his head as he hangs his jacket on the back of your couch.
“I’m fine.” He tells you pointedly and you decide that you can’t be bothered arguing. It was his choice to come, if he didn’t really want to, then he’d have to deal with that like a big boy.
Casual conversation ensues, he asks about your week, you tell him the hot goss in the forensics lab, and then somehow from that very enticing subject, you end up on your bed, Steve hovering just over you, lips pressed hotly against your own. Despite yourself, not all your hook ups with Steve were hot and heavy and quick. You missed making out with someone, the build up of it all, and even though you told yourself it was dangerous territory, you went there anyway.
Steve’s hands trail slowly up your body, feeling you over your clothes, and then under. You get rid of his shirt fairly quickly, his shoes kicked off already, and not for the first time, you just relish in being held, the fantasy that this was real, and you weren’t casually sleeping with your ex-boyfriend. Steve plants his knee between your legs when you scratch at the back of his head, a groan following shortly after as his fingers work to find the bottom of your shirt and get it up. You part for only seconds when he pulls it over your head, throwing it to the edge of the bed. You hadn’t bothered putting a bra on, leaving you already exposed. Steve may be Captain America, a symbol of a nation and whatever else, but he was still a man, and the second he can, he’s got his lips pressed to the skin of your neck and rapidly descending, hands groping appreciatively at your breasts.
His mouth leaves hot kisses down your throat, over your chest, and you’re so ready to feel his lips take over from where his thumb brushes over your nipple when the doorbell rings.
You both pause a moment, Steve lifting his head and you groan, scrunching up your face as the bell is joined by rapid knocking. Steve smiles, cheeks a little pink, and shifts off of you, already reaching for the nearest shirt. It’s his, but you don’t think he’ll mind much as you slip it over your head and shoot him an apologetic glance as he makes himself comfortable on your pillows, placing an arm behind his head.
“Sorry, just… give me a moment…”
“It’s fine.” Steve waves off your apologies as you jog from the room to your front door.
It’s a package you have to sign for, but the courier brings up the wrong electronic form, and you’re forced to wait impatiently as his slow device loads the correct one instead. You’re trying to remain polite, trying not to tap your foot or your fingers, but by the time you’re closing your door again, you don’t even stop to look at what the package is, chucking it onto your couch and all but racing back to your bedroom.
“Just a courier, but while I’m up, do you want a be—” You cut yourself off, coming to a stop in your doorway, eyes landing on the sight laid out before you. Steve lays against your decorative cushions, shirtless, his arm no longer behind his head, instead now he’s curled on his side, another pillow stuffed between his arms where he squeezes it, eyes shut tight, mouth slightly ajar.
Your heart skips several beats, the urge to squeal at how adorable he looks only overruled by the odd stirring in your stomach at how much you missed seeing him in your bed. And then that thought is cancelled out by your guilt.
For Steve to actually fall asleep unintended, he must have been exhausted. You really should have insisted on rescheduling…
He stirs a little, humming softly and adjusting his hold on the pillow he was cuddling and you start. You should wake him up and send him home. You weren’t dating, you were only tentatively friends. You were just sleeping together, nothing else.
But you don’t.
Instead, you move to your laptop in the living room. You had stuff you could stand to get done. It wasn’t that big of a deal.
You end up logging back into your work server and ticking off several tasks on your to-do list, losing track of time in the process. It isn’t until nearly seven when you notice, at which point you send a glance back to your bedroom doorway, before pulling up your local pizza places’ online ordering site.
Steve wakes not too long after, his footsteps purposefully loud, and you turn again to look at him as he exits your room, scratching his head and looking for all the world like an embarrassed child.
“For someone who wasn’t at all tired and was totally fine, you sure did take a midafternoon nap.” You tease and he gives you a thin, apologetic smile.
“I’m sorry… I—”
“—It’s fine, Steve. Besides, I ended up clearing off my schedule for the week, so that’s nice.”
He still looks bashful, even as he takes a seat opposite you at the table.
“Do you want me to head out?” He asks, and you wave him off, standing up to move to your fridge.
“Nah. Unless you want to. But I ordered pizza a little while ago. Figured you’d be hungry. Beer?”
Steve blinks and you see him processing his choices, but he eventually nods, and you pull two bottles, cracking them open and handing one to him as you take your seat again.
“Beer and pizza isn’t exactly how I’d expected tonight to go, but you know, it’s up there.” You shrug, and Steve chuckles, shaking his head.
“I’m never going to live this down, am I?” He asks.
“I’m just saying, I’ve had some interesting sex in my time, but I’ve never actually had a guy fall asleep on me before…” You both laugh, and trade jabs until your food arrives.
Steve offers to get it, which you don’t protest, grabbing some plates and moving your drinks to the couch instead. You realise, when you take a look back at him handing some cash to the delivery guy, that you’re still wearing his shirt, and groan internally.
You change quickly, pulling on your own clothes, and chucking Steve back his own when you return to the living room. He’s sat in ‘his’ seat once again, and he only lifts an eyebrow at you when he catches his shirt, before pulling it on. You don’t even pretend to not stare at the way his body stretches and moves when he does, and he doesn’t pretend not to notice.
“You know, I was gonna ask for it back when I woke up.” He tells you as you both start grabbing slices to put on your plates.
“Oh?”
Steve ums, and settles back in his seat as you search for something to play on the tv.
“But I kinda miss seeing you in my clothes.” He says, and you pause.
You fight the urge to look at him, and even though your heart beats loudly in your ears at his confession, you try to go on as if what he’d said was totally normal.
“Um, have you ever seen this one?” You point to the screen, displaying the rundown of a show you’d heard some of your coworkers talking about, and Stev shakes his head.
“Clint talks about it, but I haven’t had the time.” He shrugs and you press play.
Eventually, you find yourself relaxing again, one of you occasionally piping up to chat some shit about how unrealistic or contrived the show was, and eating your fill (and then some) of pizza. It’s weirdly casual, in a way you truly haven’t felt around Steve in a long time, but just like when you’re doing far less casual things together, it’s easy to just pretend for a while.
You fall asleep on your couch sometime after midnight, and in the morning wake up in your bed, your living room devoid of beer bottles and pizza boxes, all the remains plated and covered in your fridge. You want to be angry at yourself for allowing your interactions with Steve to go beyond the physical, but you can’t.
For the rest of your day there’s a lightness in your steps and a softness to your thoughts, as you permit yourself this one, silly, selfishness.
—-
One pizza and netflix night turns into two, and then somehow your hookups with Steve become less about sex and more about the company. You still sleep together, of course, but more often than not, you’ll find yourselves too tired for anything. Steve sits on your bed and borrows your laptop to type up reports, and you beside him, a friendly distance away, scrolling through your phone or finishing the latest book you’d started.
You don’t think about it.
But it’s nice.
Natasha and Bucky stop by your lab on a friday night and subsequently invite you to join the rest of the group for drinks that evening. You don’t even feel hesitant to accept, and you don’t think about that either.
You can’t be bothered going home to change and then come back, so you head right up when you clock off. The team is already in good form, lounging around a set of coffee tables on the upper level, several empty bottles already littering the space. The huge glass sliding doors that lead to the balcony have been pulled wide open, and Sam and Clint stand at the grill, trying to out-fry each other.
“You look nice.” Steve tells you, greeting you with a casual half-hug. He foregoes the kiss on the cheek this time, and you don’t think about it.
“Really?” You ask, genuinely amused.
“I came straight from work and I feel like I’ve been sweating in this dress all day.”
Steve grins and shrugs.
“You look nice.” He repeats, eyes not leaving you until Nat calls your attention away.
“Geez Rogers, she’s been here for five seconds and you haven’t offered her a drink?!” The redhead teases from behind the nearby bar, and you laugh, playfully shoving Steve in the arm.
“Yeah, where are you manners?!”
Steve holds up his hands in defeat, still smiling, and you move with him to the bar.
“Don’t you worry. I’ll take care of you.” Natasha winks, and you wave a hand, letting her mix you some concoction you don’t catch the contents of.
“I may regret this in the morning but; I trust you.”
Nat only laughs again as Steve reaches over the bar to grab himself another beer, and you watch, unconcerned with who could be watching you. When your drink is made, you clink glasses, and move to where the others all sit. His hand grazes your lower back as you walk, but you don’t think about it.
Night falls and food is served. More drinks and more laughs, and when you’ve returned to the bar to fetch a couple more martinis for the fellas now crowding around the pool table, one Sam Wilson slides against your side.
“Good to see you make it tonight.” He nods, his signature grin spread across his face. You chuckle and shrug.
“I really needed to take a load off.”
Sam nods and looks over his shoulder as several cheers erupt from the ongoing game, before he’s staring back at you once again.
“You and Steve back on or…?” The question doesn’t totally shock you, but you still give a friendly scoff, and shake your head.
“No… Definitely not.”
Sam’s brow furrows and he cocks his head.
“We’re just friends again. That’s it. Steve’s a great guy, but…” You trail off, and shake your head once more. Sam shifts to face you and lifts an eyebrow.
“You guys aren’t subtle, you know that right? And I know you ain’t calling him to come fix your sink every other night.”
Your face grows warm and you roll your eyes.
“So what? Doesn’t mean we’re together. We just know each other. It’s comfortable.” You shrug and Sam hums in a disbelieving way.
“Look, Steve is… Steve. He’ll always be more tied to his work than anything, or any one else, and that’s fine. I just know I can't expect more from him than… this.”
Sam watches you for a moment, eyes searching your face until he looks away, nodding his head, relenting.
“Whatever you say. I’m just saying maybe you should give it another go… with the three of us now rotating leadership, things might be different.” 
You frown at that, as Nat finishes with the drinks you’d asked her for, and cock your head.
“What do you mean ‘the three of you on rotation’?”
Sam sideyes you.
“Steve stepped down as our sole guy, like, a year ago now. Rhodey, he, and I take turns. We got a week each on rotation.”
You blink at the information, and wonder why Steve had never mentioned it before.
Him stepping down as the Avenger’s go-to leader was… a pretty big deal. Actually, you’re kind of shocked by it. Steve had always been, as long as you’d known him, unable to walk away from a fight. If a situation was going down, he had to be there, at the front taking charge. It was literally the reason you’d broken up. He didn’t know how to take a break, and in his life, you’d always be second, maybe even third priority.
Sm nicks one of the drinks in front of you, and you half-heartedly scold him for it as you attempt to carry the other three back to the pool table, Steve putting his cue to the side and stepping up to help you when he notices.
Sam’s words continue to spin around your brain as you settle back in to watch. It isn’t until Bucky elbows you gently in the side that you realise you were being spoken to, and you blink around.
“We were saying that we forgot to set a prize for the game.” Sam re-explains, and you hum.
“I said maybe you’d give the winner a kiss.” Bucky adds, his face clearly joking, but in that ‘only joking if you are’ way.
You scoff and roll your eyes.
“Jesus, what is it? 1955?”
Bucky shrugs and sips at his drink. He’d always been a flirty drunk, not that he was drunk-drunk, but his serum seemed to affect him in slightly different ways to Steve. If he really tried, he could get a pretty decent buzz.
“And besides, I doubt Steve would see that as much of a prize, and last I checked, he was wiping the floor with you chumps.” You wave a hand and Sam cackles. Steve lifts an eyebrow at you, catching your eye.
“Don’t be so sure, sweetheart, a prize is a prize.”
You hardly hear his words, it's his expression that draws you in, makes you forget about the company around you. The air feels hot all of a sudden and you really wished you could drag him off. You shrug.
“Well maybe I’ll give you something else if you win.” 
If the others pick up on anything other than friendly banter, they thankfully choose not to mention it, simply laughing and moving back to the game. Steve’s cheeks tint a little pink, but he throws you a wink when he takes his next turn, and you have to laugh, shaking your head at the absurdity.
Steve holds the lead for two rounds, but Bucky, fuelled by Nat’s martinis, makes a comeback, and as the final scores are tallied, he leans in, tapping his cheek expectantly. It’s all in good fun, and you roll your eyes for the hundredth time, but make good in your promise of a prize and instead grip him gently by the chin and plant a quick kiss to his lips. Bucky lifts his drink in achievement, and you playfully shove him away.
“I’m sure Freud would have something to say about that.” Steve says teasingly, plopping down beside you, and you scoff.
“Nobody listens to Freud, and you and Bucky aren’t actually family.” You almost add that you and he aren’t actually dating either, but you stop short. Steve throws you a grin and relents.
“You finish that book yet?” He asks, referring to the Freud book in question that you’d been halfway through the last time he’d been over.
You shake your head.
“No. And I don’t think I will. I can put up with a lot of batshit crazy things, but I draw the line at him.”
Steve laughs, and takes a swig of his beer. A thought occurs to you then, and you turn to face him, squinting.
“Did you lose on purpose?”
“What?”
“The game. Did you lose on purpose?”
Steve blinks sheepishly at you in the same way he did when he was formulating some kind of believable lie, and you roll your eyes, smacking his arm.
“You’re so full of shit!” You laugh, watching him shrug and shift awkwardly.
“I didn’t want you to feel awkward.”
You sideye him with another huff of laughter.
“I mean I offered, in front of our friends, mind you, to give you a blowjob if you won… how awkward did you think I felt?” You watch Steve’s cheeks light up again, and he shakes his head, rolling his eyes at you this time.
“Was that what you meant?” He asks, as a sort of recovery, but you can see he’s still a little flustered. You chuckle, and lean into him, resting your hand on his upper thigh and squeezing just slightly.
“Maybe next time.” You wink, and watch his expression shift, his eyes flickering down to your lips briefly, and you just know he’s imagining what would be happening right now if you weren’t surrounded by at least ten other people.
Again, you feel the urge to drag him away, but you keep your cool, leaning away from him and removing your hand as Tony and Rhodey make their way over to the couches.
As the night wanes on, Steve’s arm ends up over the back of your seat.
You don’t think about it.
—-
“Are you sure you don’t have anything better to be doing?” You ask, a little exasperatedly.
It wasn’t that you weren’t thankful, but Steve was too good to know when to say ‘no’. Not that you’d even asked him, he’d offered and then showed up at your door bright and early anyway, regardless of your non-committal answer.
He just shrugs and shoves his hands in his pockets.
“Day off.” He tells you. You squint. You know now thanks to Sam that he wasn’t lying, but it still makes you squirm a little.
“Well, whatever. Don’t come complaining to me about splinters.” You snark, moving ahead to inspect the branches of the next pine tree along.
Steve pouts.
“But you know those tweezers are too small for my fingers…”
“Oh, what a hard life, Steven! You never get sick and are basically invincible… except for those damn pesky tweezers!”
Steve nudges you in the side, as you laugh.
“Don’t let the bad guys know about that.” You side-eye him and he gives you his best puppy-dog eyes.
“You’re the only one who knows my secret.” He says, with over-the-top sincerity.
“I trust you.” He adds a moment later, and you snort.
“Well, that sounds like a ‘you’ problem.”
You continue to sass and snark at each other as you walk down the rows and rows of trees, not even really looking at the pines, until you realise that an hour is probably too long to spend tree-shopping, and pick out the nearest half decent one.
Steve carries it to his car, as he’d offered to do in the first place, and you strap it up tight before getting in.
The conversation flows easy and light on the drive back, and when Steve’s phone rings, you switch instead to staring out the window at all the Christmas lights and decorations the city had put up in preparation.
“Hello? Oh, yes…?” You can only hear Steve’s side of the conversation, not blessed with super-hearing like he was, but you turn your head, intrigued when he seems to falter.
“Today? Well I… in twenty minutes? Oh, um…” He looks over at you, a frown pulling at his brows.
“If you need to stop somewhere…” You whisper, waving a hand to confirm you were okay with the detour, and he shoots you a tight smile, before setting his eyes back on the road.
“I can do that, no problem. Okay. Thank you. Bye.”
“What was that about?” You ask immediately, curious now that you were seemingly being dragged along.
“I had to get a suit altered— for Tony’s christmas party on the weekend…” He begins and you ‘ah’. Tony had declared all attendees go all-out. No jeans were allowed, it was supposed to be a strictly formal event.
“But the owner of the store just realised my appointment clashed with her flight out of the city this afternoon.”
“So we’re going to pick it up?”
“Yeah.”
You hum, and nod, fiddling with the radio now as you drive past the turn off for your place. Steve had promised to help you carry your tree inside, and given the time, it would probably take too long for him to make his appointment if he took you home first. You didn’t mind though.
The tailor he’d chosen wasn’t some fancy, high end retail store, but you never expected it would be. Instead, Steve holds open the door to a small, mom-and-pop type shop, with dark wooden interiors that just screamed old-school class. You enter and promptly take a seat in the showroom as Steve is whisked away to try on his suit for a final inspection.
You’re staring mindlessly at your phone when he steps back in, a little awkward, clearly asking what you think.
“Well, well, well Rogers… So you do clean up nicely after all!” You tease, standing and moving closer as he rolls his eyes at you and faces the mirror. You watch him smooth down the suit jacket, looking a little self-conscious if you’re being honest, but then his eyes find yours again in the mirror.
“You’re going, right?”
You nod, shrugging your shoulders a bit.
“I think Tony would have my head if I made up an excuse… and I kinda like christmas parties… dressing up, mistletoe and all that.” You wave a hand, and Steve turns back around to face you.
“Come with me.” He says, breathily, like he’d been holding the words in for so long he just couldn’t keep them anymore. You freeze, staring up at his hopeful expression, feeling for all the world like your veins had suddenly turned to ice.
“What?” You can’t help but ask, and the blond shifts on his feet, lifting his chin a little more confidently this time.
“Come with me. To the party.”
You aren’t sure how you hear him so clearly when your heart beat thunder loudly in your ears, and suddenly, the walls in the room begin to close in on you. You shake your head with a frown and take a step back from him.
“W-what? No, Steve, I…”
Steve straightens a little, his brow furrowing now and you struggle to speak, panic rising in your chest.
“Steve, we’re— we’re just friends. This isn’t— we aren’t dating!” You stress, still shaking your head, and still stepping away from him. Steve ‘s jaw sets a little and he gets that look on his face like when he had something to say, but he knew it would be incendiary.
“Maybe not, but I don’t think we’ve been just friends for a while now, and you know that.” He says instead, voice tight, and you suck in air sharply.
You knew this was a mistake.
You knew doing anything outside of your agreed-upon interactions was dangerous, and yet, like an idiot, you’d gone there anyway.
“Steve— I am—” You lower your voice somewhat, remembering where you are, and hold out a hand.
“This, what we’re doing now, this is fine. Nobody gets hurt, it’s fun and—”
“—Who's getting hurt exactly?” Steve cuts you off, and you barely refrain from yelling at him.
“Me! I am not going to sit around, waiting for you to find the time to see me! I’m not doing that again. I’m not playing second fiddle to your job!” You explode, immediately pulling back at the flash of grief that lances across Steve’s face.
You look away from him and rub at your temple.
“Every time you’ve called me, I’ve come.” Steve says, voice thick with hurt, and you clench your teeth.
“Every. Time.” He repeats, and you finally bring yourself to look at him.
“I am sorry that the lines got blurred. But I am not—” You stutter a little, choking on your words, but you clear your throat.
“I cannot do this again.”
And you leave.
You run away, because it was less scary than whatever Steve wanted from you. Less scary than opening yourself up and getting hurt like before.
And you were an idiot for it.
You hate yourself for crying when you get home, sans christmas tree now, and a big part of you is glad Steve doesn’t follow you, or try to call. A bigger part of you cries that he doesn’t, and at the fact that despite trying to keep things casual, keep him at arm's length, you’d gone and gotten all tangled up anyway.
It was a mistake.
You knew from the start, but you can’t even revel in your own self pity for too long, because soon enough you’re coming to your goddamn senses.
You were a complete and total bitch.
Steve had hurt you, yes, and maybe springing a date on you like that wasn’t the best way, but even you aren’t dumb enough to not notice his change. He had hurt you, and then he’d changed. He’d taken a step away from leading, to be more present, to be more around, and he was right, he had come every time you’d needed him, for whatever reason. He’d kept your scheduled meetings, even when he was dead tired and really could have called them off. 
He’d done everything you could have asked for.
And you hadn’t even asked for it.
—-
Your nerves nearly consume you when you step through the doorway and into the open space of the residential floors. Tony had gone just as nuts with the decorating as you’d imagined. Not a single corner of the room looked like Christmas hadn’t thrown up all over it. Yet, even your love of this time of year couldn’t trump the anxiety that rolls back over you as you look around the room.
You’re actually glad that you can’t spot him right away. It lets you relax, greet other people, ease into the nerves you feel. Besides, if your little meltdown had sent him back into the arms of whatever-her-name-was, you might just be sick.
The jig is up however, when Sam Wilson slings an arm around your shoulder, bright smile betrayed only by the knowing glance he gives you.
“Didn’t think I’d end up seeing you tonight.” he says casually, leading you toward the bar, and you shrug as best you can.
“I’ve got to grovel at some time. Christmas party seemed dramatic and cinematic enough.”
Sam gives you a sympathetic look and squeezes your arm.
“He isn’t upset with you.”
“He should be.” You say, shaking your head and dropping your gaze.
Sam sighs and removes his arm from you so that he can signal the bartender.
“He’s upset with himself.”
You roll your eyes.
“Of course he is. Cause he’s so damned good.” You kick the bar lightly in frustration, and sink a little more into self-hatred. Sam slides a shot of clear liquor toward you.
“Courage.” He says, tipping his own back seconds later, and you relent, plastering on a tight smile before pouring the contents of the glass down your throat.
It burns, and fills your nose with the distinct taste of vodka, and you scrunch up your face, Sam laughing at you when you put your glasses back.
“I’d like less courage next time.” You tell him, and he shrugs.
“I doubt you’ll be saying that in five seconds.” His eyes skip over your shoulder and you frown.
“Wait, why?” A quick glance behind you makes you panic, wide eyes finding a grinning Sam once again, who is already slinking off.
“Sam!”
It’s useless though, he’s gone in seconds, and quickly you become very aware of the man who’d come to stand a small distance away from you at the bar. Biting the bullet, you swallow thickly, and turn to look at him.
Steve looks much like he had the last time you’d seen him, which really only makes your stomach churn more in memory of the way you’d acted.
“Hey…” You greet, worried perhaps he might ignore you, even though you know damn well he could hear you over the crowd. But he doesn’t, eyes swivelling to find your like it was what he’d been waiting for. He gives you a conservative smile and nod.
“Hey.”
The one word alone, filled with so much simple sadness makes the damn break, and before you even realise what you’re doing, you’ve stepped right beside him, hands wringing in front of you.
“Steve, I am so sorry. What I said— I was just— I was a bitch.” You finish lamely, but he only looks down at you, slightly bewildered, as if he really hadn’t expected you to say anything about what had happened.
He turns in to face you, feeding off of your distressed body-language, one hand coming up to touch your arm, and he looks around concerned for a moment before back at you.
“You wanna go somewhere else…?” He asks, and again, you wallow in self-hatred at the way that he so quickly seemed ready to defend your clear anxiety. You swallow, and nod, letting him lead you away from the bar.
He guides you through familiar rooms just as decked out and just as full with people, until you reach a small, quiet staircase, one you know leads up to the private floors.
You’re well aware of how long it had been since you’d last stood in his apartment, and it only spurs your nerves on more. Maybe you should have waited… maybe the christmas party wasn’t the ideal time…
“As far as I’m concerned, you have nothing to apologise for.” Steve says, which only makes you scoff, rounding on him where he stands.
“Steve, you’ve got to be kidding!”
He only shrugs, sad eyes turning down and you sigh.
“Everything I said was… I shouldn’t have said it. You were right. Things haven’t exactly been ‘casual-hookups-no-strings-attached’ for a long time.” You fiddle with the hem of your sleeve and shuffle on your feet.
“I… I like what we had. Just… hanging out. You’re… you’re so easy to be with, and I like that, Steve. I never feel like we’re on different pages, you always get me, you’re great in bed… I— I like being with you, so much…” You pause and take a shaky breath.
“And I know that you’ve been trying. You’ve… frankly, you’ve changed more than I was even asking for back when—” You cut yourself off and shake your head.
“My point is. I’m sorry. I was a bitch because having you in my life in some way is better than not at all, and if things ended the way they did last time, I wouldn’t be able to even look at you— Am I even making any sense?!” You drag a hand over your hair and sigh. Steve moves toward you, slowly, and you force yourself to look at him.
“Yes.” He says, stopping just in front of you.
“I think.” He adds a moment later and you can’t help but laugh. You shake your head.
“I’m sorry.” You say again, and watch him stare at you, before nodding.
“Thank you. I’m sorry too.” He says, though you can’t even imagine what for right now.
“Is it too late to retroactively accept your invitation to the party?” You joke, and his face breaks into a smile, a light chuckle leaving him.
“I think so… Didn’t get to pick you up or anything…”
You click your fingers in an ‘oh shoot’ gesture, and Steve grabs your hand before you can drop it again. You watch as slowly he brings it to his lips, kissing the backs of your fingers.
Your breathing gets shallower at the action, and you wonder if him bringing you here, to his private rooms, was really a good thing after all. You rescind your earlier thoughts. You’re glad you didn’t wait, you’re glad you decided to do this during the Christmas party.
He pulls you closer in a way that feels only natural, and for the first time in a long time, you don’t have to pretend that any of this is real, you don’t need the fantasy.
Steve kisses you long and sweet, his hands firm and secure where he holds you, a silent promise. You think it feels different to how he normally holds you, but you think it’s probably just in your head. You bite at his lower lip, pulling on it just slightly, and his chest rumbles, his hands moving then, squeezing and pawing at you, feet blindly guiding you, moving towards his bedroom.
Clothes are peeled off and set aside, when you try to move atop of him, he only grabs your wrists, trapping you in place against his mattress, and you don’t even care. Steve was here, with you, in his room, and it was real.
He has you face down, pillow raising your hips slightly, his body draped over yours warm and heavy, sweat slicked and firm. Your thighs are only just parted, enough for him to slip inside you, so close, so deep you think you see stars with each thrust. He moves slow, arms caged around your own, hand splayed out against your throat, lifting your head up and back so he can kiss you as he moves, taste each moan he creates as he creates it.
You feel overwhelmed and utterly saturated in him, picked to pieces and pulled apart, his cock sheathed so deep, his weight bearing down on you, you’re drowning in him.
He kisses the back of your neck and shoulders, resting his forehead against you as he picks up his pace, driving faster and deeper, your desperate words of filth and want muffled into the pillow you hold tightly. You think your nails might’ve ripped a hole in the fabric, but you aren’t sure.
You come together, heady cries filling the air before dissipating into heavy, breathy sighs. He doesn’t leave you, stays right there atop of you, still inside you as you both come down. He kisses along your spine again, sweeps some hair out of the way to reach your neck, and that place behind your ear.
“Am I too heavy?” He asks a moment after, voice muffled in the skin of your shoulder, and you laugh, shaking your head, and peering up at him as best you can. He was atop you, sure, but his arms still held most of his weight, never too rough, always just enough.
“No. I like it.” You say, feeling a little shy. All the times you’d slept together, in a relationship, and out of it, this felt real, like all else before was just practice. Steve shifts his hips a little and you suck in a sharp breath.
“Yeah?” He asks, eyelashes fluttering just slightly. You nod.
“I like when you’re here… like this. And you don’t hold back on me.” He lifts his head a little and raises an eyebrow.
“I don’t think I’ve ever held back on you, when you’ve asked.” He reminds, and you hide your face, laughing into the pillow.
“Well maybe sometimes…” He admits, likely referencing all the times you’d beg him for ‘harder’ and he’d adjust his angle instead, already fucking you as hard as he felt comfortable with.
After a few seconds, he lets up a little to allow you to roll over, though he still hangs over you, chest to chest.
“I never liked leaving after.” He admits, dropping his lips to your cheek.
“I hated going back to my own bed, knowing you wouldn’t be with me in the morning. I don’t think I’ve ever said it but,” He lifts his head again and you stare up at him.
“Waking up with you in the mornings after we’d stayed together, it always felt like a battle to get up and leave. I always thought ‘today I don’t need to run. You can take a break’.”
“But you never did?” You wonder, and see the regret flash over his features.
“I should have. Maybe not all the time, but… I should have.” You purse your lips and try to catch his guilty eyes.
“Steve… I never wanted you to completely overhaul your life. I still don’t want you to do that. That part of you, the part that wants to help people and be there for them, I love that. It’s what fundamentally makes you you.” You push back the hair that hangs on his forehead and sigh, tracing the edges of his face now instead.
“I don’t care if six out of seven days a week you need to get up before me, as long as I have that seventh day…” His face softens from the self-judgement you could see reflected in his features and you smile.
“I just… I don’t know, I want to feel like at least a bit of a priority. I know that’s not always going to be possible, I get that… but…”
“I know. I’m sorry I ever made you feel like you weren’t.”
“And last-minute cancellations should be the exception not the rule!” You joke, and he hangs his head again, but chuckles against the crook of your neck.
“Understood.”
You lay like that for a while, just relishing in one another's presence, feeling your chest’s rise and fall against each other. When he moves next, it’s because his phone buzzes loudly on the bedside table, and you watch him reach blindly out to grab it.
You play with the hair on his arm as he checks the message, the amused sigh he gives off a second later heavy against your chest.
“It’s Buck,” He tells you.
“Says the fellas are getting ready for a round at the pool table…” He trails off as another message comes through, and this time you see him roll his eyes, and chuck his phone to the side.
“He wants to know if you’re going to kiss the winner again.” Steve’s voice is amused still as he finally crawls off of you, and helps you up. You both know you can’t, and shouldn’t stay locked up here all night.
“Well, I tell you what, Rogers, you don’t go easy on Barnes again, and I’ll give you what I promised last time.”
For a moment Steve just frowns in confusion, but as it slowly dawns on him, a challenging, determined glint fills his eyes.
“Better start keeping score then, sweetheart.”
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tangledupinyellow · 1 month
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A Little Bit of Texas Fun | Chapter One: Late Night Rides
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authors note: this is something that's been in the works for quite a while now and i'm so excited to finally get it started!!
series summary: The night of your wedding, you sneak off with your new husband’s best friend. What was supposed to be a one time thing ends up being a two time thing, to a three time thing, to a once every week sort of thing. When you thought you had mastered keeping everything a secret, your husband finds the pregnancy tests.
series warnings/tags: pregnancy, no use of y/n, infidelity, husband’s best friend, no outbreak au, age gap (Joel is 36 and reader is around 25)
chapter summary: Your wedding night, which is supposed to be the best night of your life, ends up being your worst. Joel Miller finds a way to fix that.
chapter warnings/tags: 18+ only, no use of y/n, infidelity, very traditional wedding, mentions of drinking and alcohol, misogynistic comments, nicknames (sweetheart, darling, baby), truck sex, unprotected piv, slight breeding kink
word count: 7.3k
┉┉┉
This was a moment you had dreamed of ever since you were a little girl. You would watch movies and read stories of women getting married to the love of their lives and having the perfect wedding. It was supposed to be a magical day that would always hold a special place in your heart. You were hoping that you would get the same kind of happy fairytale on your wedding day.  
You had spent months preparing this wedding for you and your fiance. You worked your ass off, making sure that everything was perfect. And for the most part, it was. Your dress was gorgeous, your hair was beautifully styled, the decorations were up to par with your expectations, everyone you had hired showed, and your entire family was there. Everything was falling into place. Everything would have been perfect, only if your fiance was about half as interested in the whole thing as you were. It was infuriating, but this was supposed to be a day about happiness and love. You weren’t going to let anything ruin it for you.
Now, standing at the altar, you stood face to face with your fiance, Daniel, who was about to be your husband in only moments to come. You could feel your nerves start to act up, but you couldn’t necessarily pinpoint the reason for them doing so. Your palms were sweaty, and your face felt hot. You brushed it off, thinking that it was just normal wedding nerves. After all, you weren’t going to be a single woman anymore. You were about to commit yourself to Daniel. Everybody gets at least a little nervous on their wedding night. You were sure of it. It wasn’t like this was something out of the ordinary.
Throughout the entirety of your vows, you found it hard to look at Daniel right in the eyes. You couldn’t express why that was the case, but you went back to blaming it all on your nerves.
“Do you, Daniel, take this woman in front of you to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, to love and cherish her in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” The priest standing in the center of the altar spoke, directing his eyes to Daniel.
Daniel stared at you with a smirk, but the gentleness and love that you usually see in a groom in the movies were absent in his eyes. “I do.” 
The priest then moved his attention over to you, going over the same old same old, repeating everything he had said to Daniel but to you instead.
You were barely paying attention to the words as you stared at Daniel. Your heart was pounding, and you felt like a nervous wreck. You didn’t understand how he was so calm and collected, but you envied that. You hesitated slightly and took a deep breath, preparing yourself to make the commitment as you looked around. As you did so, you caught the eyes of the best man who was just standing feet from Daniel.
Joel Miller was a great friend of yours personally, but he was Daniel’s best friend. You had met him when you first began dating Daniel. He was Daniel’s best buddy when they were growing up and had been a part of his life ever since they were kids. Daniel was always going on about some crazy shit that he and Joel would get into back when they were in high school. And with the two of them being so close, it was no surprise that Joel became a big part of your life, too.
Whenever you and Daniel had an argument that seemed pointless now but was near relationship ending back then, Joel was always there to help you through it. He always told you everything that you wanted to hear. 
Joel held a special place in your heart, for sure. Maybe a bigger place was reserved for him than you’d like to admit. 
But for somebody who was his best friend’s girlfriend, he was always there for you. He made sure that he was just as much your friend as he was Daniels.
Your eyes locked for a short moment with Joel’s before you tore them away quickly, looking back over at Daniel with a smile that you couldn’t tell was genuine or forced. “I do,” you whispered out, your voice more breathy than you intended it to be. It seemed only quiet enough for Daniel and the priest to hear. Not even the people in the first row were able to hear you.
The priest gave you both a kind smile filled with hope and fulfillment. It almost seemed like he was more excited to be here than you on your own wedding day. You cursed yourself for thinking in such a way. This was the night of your wedding, you should be overjoyed.
But you weren’t. Not even in the slightest.
You have heard numerous stories of getting cold feet on your wedding night, and so you assumed that was what was going on when you first started having second thoughts. It was normal, you thought. Everybody gets nervous on the night of their wedding, and that’s all it was—just your nerves getting the best of you.
You had hoped that all that would disappear when you met him at the altar. But the feeling never went away. You still had that dreadful feeling in your gut that made you feel like you were going to throw up. It was the biggest lump in your throat.
Saying ‘I Do’ at the altar has been a dream of yours since you were a little girl. So you couldn’t understand for the life of you why you weren’t more excited to be standing in front of your now husband, the love of your life, on the most important night of your life.
The rest of the priest’s words were a blur to you. You were too lost in your thoughts to pay attention to any of it. The next thing you knew, Daniel’s lips crashed into yours as his arms hugged you to his body while your friends and family clapped and cheered for you.
You quickly brought yourself back into reality and closed your eyes, returning the kiss. You were officially married. There wasn’t anything you could do about those restless nerves now.
You slowly opened your eyes while Daniel’s lips were still on yours in a passionate kiss, and through your squinted eyes, you could see Joel, his best man, standing right beside him, clapping for the two of you. And there it was again, that terrible, massive lump in your throat.
┉┉┉
You take a rather large sip of champagne as you look around. You see your friends getting drunk and partying on the dance floor, having the time of their lives. At least they seemed to be enjoying your wedding more than you were. With another large swig of champagne, you take a deep breath in hopes that it will soothe your nerves.
You were never a huge fan of crowds, so you assumed that could be a possibility for your anxious behaviors tonight and that when you went back to the hotel room with Daniel, the reality of you two being married would hit and you would be in complete euphoria.
You could hear your mother try to start a conversation with you beside you, but you couldn’t hear a word she said. Swirling the champagne left in your glass, you caught the eye of your newly found husband in the crowd. He was holding a glass of amber liquor in hand, chatting it up with his close buddies. But Joel was nowhere in sight in that little group.
You’ve lost count of how many little glasses of whiskey your newly-found husband has drunk. After the third one you didn’t bother to keep count anymore. You didn’t need to keep track to know that he was absolutely wasted. Looks like you won’t be getting that relaxing cool down in the hotel room with him later tonight. But instead having to deal with a drunk husband who can barely stand up on his own two feet.
It wasn’t your first time seeing Daniel drunk, but it still annoyed you just as much as when you first saw him so intoxicated. He wasn’t a violent drunk or an aggressive one, either. But he irritated the hell out of you whenever he had one too many drinks. He was loud, obnoxious, made jokes that weren’t even close to being funny just to make him look cool around his friends and make you look like a complete idiot. You couldn’t stand it. And you were hopeful that he wouldn’t get so drunk on your wedding night. But while you were disappointed that he was already drinking so much when the night was still young, you couldn’t say you were surprised.
You thought you were doing the right thing by staying away from him for the time being, trying not to get pulled in as the butt of the joke along with him and his friends. You didn’t want to be put in a shitty mood by his shitty and, quite frankly, misogynistic jokes. It was your wedding night, and you couldn’t deal with that at any moment during what was supposed to be a special night not only for you, but for both of you. Clearly, one nice night was too much for you to ask of him.
However, with how drunk he was and how loud he tended to get during these times, you could practically hear him from the other side of the room. And while there was chattering and laughter from all around you from the other desks, his voice and obnoxious howls of laughter were all you could tune into. 
“Can’t believe I have myself tied down to one woman for the rest of my life. One pussy for the rest of my life, goddamn, can you imagine?” He yapped loudly with a laugh, followed by a chug of his whiskey.
The comment made your stomach turn up into knots. It felt like a blunt knife straight to the heart. Although his little comment hurt, it wasn’t something you weren’t used to. You’ve heard him slip comments occasionally, but you always took it on yourself to ignore them, trying not to look into it too much. You loved him. You didn’t want a couple of stupid comments ruining a relationship that took years for you to build up with him.
“You looked stunning up there, baby doll.” Your mother’s voice chimed in beside you. She had a glass of champagne in her hand as well. Except hers was freshly poured, and you only had less than a sip left.
“Oh, thank you.” You smiled at her. You weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone, even your own mother, but you still wanted to accept her compliment. You didn’t want to seem rude in any way, even though your glum mood was telling you otherwise. You were supposed to be happy and ecstatic on your wedding day, and you didn’t want your mother to know that you were feeling the complete opposite.
But she was your mother. She was the one who raised you for the past 25 years of your life. She could read you like the back of her own hand. She could sense when something was wrong with her daughter.
However, she decided to keep her thoughts hushed. She didn’t want to pry, not tonight at least. Instead, she gave you a reassuring smile and a rub on your arm. And with a whisper, she gave your hand a loving squeeze, “I’m proud of you.”
┉┉┉
Joel’s eyes scanned the wedding venue with an old-fashioned in hand, taking sips here and there. He was there with Daniel and a few other of his friends. Despite them being deep in conversation and full of laughs, Joel was in a world of his own, deep in thought while people-watching around him.
He wasn’t really the biggest fan of weddings and would much rather be back at his home with Sarah and Tommy, watching whatever movie Sarah wanted to watch that night.
But, he was a friend of Daniels and a friend of yours. He was there to support you two coming together in marriage. However, he definitely had a social battery when it came to Daniel.
There were times when he could only be with him for so long until he got too much to be around. And he could feel that he was currently in one of those moments.
It had already been a long night, and he could feel a headache creeping on. He was already looking forward to returning home and passing right out into his bed.
Joel rolled his eyes as he listened to Daniel and the others make little comments here and there about you and marriage in general, ones that didn’t necessarily sit right with him. He tried his best to ignore them and took a sip of his old-fashioned, a larger one this time, while scanning the venue again.
As he did so, he caught sight of you, standing there with a nearly empty glass of champagne. He couldn’t deny that you looked gorgeous in your white dress, falling down right by your feet. He chuckled quietly to himself, knowing that his young daughter would describe you as a “real-life princess” if she were to see you.
You looked over at Joel when you felt a pair of eyes on you and gave him a small smile, one in which he kindly returned. With that simple exchange, you went back to talking with your mother, and he went back to trying to talk to Daniel about something different.
It wasn’t until a few minutes later that Joel looked around once more. This time, he noticed that your mother was left standing talking to somebody. Somebody other than you. He furrowed his eyebrows slightly and looked around a little more, keeping an eye out for you.
But you were nowhere to be found. It was as though you disappeared.
With a sigh, Joel set down his glass and looked over at his small group of friends. “I’ll be right back.”
┉┉┉
You took a deep, shaky breath, hoping that the fresh night air would help you clear your mind. You needed a moment outside of the venue, away from Daniel, your family, and people where you had to pretend that you were so happy and so head over heels.
You sat alone on a bench outside, ignoring the stares you would get from people crossing your path here and there. You just wanted to take the moment to be by yourself and attempt to clear your thoughts.
However, your short moment of silence didn’t last too long when you heard a voice come from right next to you.
“Needed some fresh air too?”
It was Joel.
You looked up, pushing your hair out of your face to make eye contact with him. You let out a quiet, half-assed chuckle and shook your head, your hair falling back into your face despite your previous attempts.
“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” You finished the sentence off with a deep breath.
Joel chuckled quietly along with you before sitting down on the park bench with you. You noticed that he sat closer to you than usual, but you weren’t in a place to bother to care. You were too tired and drained from all the wedding excitement and an obnoxiously loud Daniel to care. All you wanted to do was go home, even though this was supposed to be your wedding. You were the bride. You were supposed to be the center of attention, Yet all you wanted to do was leave and be away from everything.
“You seem tired.” Joel piped up, his voice soft and warm. It reminded you of a crackling campfire under the night stars.
Turning your attention over to Joel, you nodded in response, “You too?”
Joel pursed his lips for a moment before shrugging his shoulders, his hands folded in his lap. “Tired of a few people, more like,” he said with a gruff laugh and a shake of his head.
You couldn’t help but smile and laugh a little as well, knowing full well who he was talking about.
“Well, you’re the lucky one out of the two of us. You get to go ahead and leave whenever you want. I, on the other hand, have to wait for everyone else to start heading out so I can leave with Daniel,” you muttered with an eyeroll.
Joel remained silent for a moment and stroked his mustache before leaning back on the porch seat with a deep sigh. “Y’know, I could bring ya home if you’d like,” he offered, turning his neck slightly to face you.
You furrowed your eyebrows and quickly shook your head, brushing him off with your hand, “No, you don’t need to do that. The night is still young, and all my friends and family are still here. I really should stay and thank them for being here. Would look kind of bitchy of me to just leave Daniel here all alone, don’t you think?” You forced out a laugh, even though humor was the last thing you felt.
Your chest was tight, and there was nothing more you wanted to do than to leave. But deep down, you knew that you couldn’t. Yet, maybe if you were to leave, would Daniel even notice your absence? He barely even talked to you after the ceremony and ran off with his friends. Hell, Joel noticed that you were outside before Daniel did. And you knew that he was still in there, completely oblivious to the fact that you weren’t inside anymore.
However, you couldn’t care less if he noticed you were gone or not. Because Joel noticed. Joel seemed to care.
“Y’sure?” Joel questioned once more, wanting to ensure you were alright with staying later.
You hesitated briefly before giving him a nod, your lips pressed into a forced smile, “I’m sure.”
Joel patted his hands on his knees and nodded before slowly standing up from the porch, “Alright then. Call me when ya get home, alright? Wanna make sure you get there safe.” He gave you a smile, a genuine, kind smile.
Your heart was racing in your chest from the anxiety. You wanted him to give you a ride so you could get an easy way out of here. But you knew that would cause questions in the end that you wanted to avoid. At the same time, this was a solution for the time being. The questions about your whereabouts could be dealt with later. You didn’t want to spend the rest of your wedding night sitting outside on a splintered bench, withering away in your anxieties and doubts.
You watched him walk off with a hint of regret tearing at your heart. You felt the lump in your throat. Letting him leave felt like the wrong decision, at least for now. What you thought was the right option wasn’t seeming so good after all. The inkling of regret moved from a nauseous feeling in your throat to a deep pit in your stomach.
Questions of “what ifs” came into your head. You knew that in the long run, you would regret not going back with Joel and staying here in your misery. You would spend the rest of the night wondering how it would be if you just said yes to Joel and went home, somewhere you felt comfortable and safe. Staying here wasn’t going to make you feel any better.
Swallowing that lump in your throat and ignoring the pit in your gut, you stood from the bench and called out his name, “Joel?” You were grateful your voice wasn’t shaky, considering the anxiety you had built up from just thinking about staying at this wedding.
Joel stopped walking and turned to face you, a slight grin already on his face, “Yea?” he called back out, shoving his hands into his pockets.
Hearing his voice washed away your anxiety and worries nearly instantly. 
“A ride would be nice.”
┉┉┉
“So, talk to me.” Joel spoke up after a while of nothing but quiet, classic rock playing from his truck radio, Eagles Lyin’ Eyes.
You blinked a couple of times before looking over at him. You were lost in your own mind, drifting off as you watched the world go by as Joel drove past tree after tree on this long and winding dirt road. You weren’t expecting him to speak at all.
“Hm?” Was all you could muster, completely expecting this entire ride to be silent.
“Talk to me,” Joel repeated, as if you had missed him the first time. You heard him crystal clear. “What happened tonight? Everythin’ alright?” He glanced over at you for a quick second before looking back at the road in front of him.
You stayed silent for a moment, trying to process the question. Now, this was the last thing you had expected. You stared at the road before you, only illuminated by Joel’s headlights. You ran your thoughts through your head before looking over at Joel.
“Course I’m alright. I’m finally married to the love of my life, and we’ve got to celebrate it with my family. I just got tired.” You shrugged, lying through your teeth, whether consciously or subconsciously. You wanted to believe that it was the truth. And maybe by saying it, putting it out in the world, it would become the truth, even if you haven’t felt happiness quite yet.
Joel raised an eyebrow and looked over at you for another brief moment, taking a look between you and the dirt road. “And that’s why I found ya mopin’ around outside?” He chuckled and shook his head. He didn’t believe it for a second.
“I was tired.” You tried convincing yourself.
He sighed, “Darlin’, I saw you in there. You looked miserable. Now, if ya don’t want to talk about it, we don’t gotta-”
“I guess I was overwhelmed,” You cut him off with a shaky breath. He kept his eyes on the road as he listened to you solemnly, with a slight frown on the corner of his lips. “After the ceremony, I kept feeling like I just made a big mistake I can’t undo. Like I fucked up. I love Daniel, I do. I’ve loved him for so long,” You ignored the sour taste in your mouth as the words left your lips, “But I can’t help… I can’t help but feel he doesn’t love me as much as I love him. I mean, he got drunk not even two hours after the ceremony like the asshole he is.” You let out a scoff and a laugh, looking up to keep the tears from falling.
Joel noticed the change in your voice as you ranted on, and he looked at you with concern. “It’s nothing you did. He clearly had too much to drink..”
“And when you get drunk, you talk about how much you hate being tied down to your girlfriend or wife and that she’s nothing but a pain in the ass?” You scoffed sarcastically, trying desperately not to let the tears roll down your cheeks.
Joel felt a tightness in his chest as he listened to you carefully. He was very much single. Hasn’t been on a date in years, not since he’s had Sarah. Even though he’s been single for quite some time, that didn’t mean he lost his senses. He could never imagine himself talking so poorly about someone he was supposed to love, through sickness and in health, to death do us part.
“He’s an asshole. He may be a friend o’mine but an asshole. He doesn’t know what he’s got, how good he has it.” Joel shook his head as he stared at the road, the irritation clear in his voice.
Throughout his years, Joel hasn’t had much experience with love and relationships. He’s had a few here and there, but nothing too serious. The only serious relationship he had ever been in was with Sarah’s mother, but that didn’t end too well for either him or his daughter. 
Despite all of this, he still knew how someone was supposed to be treated and how to treat someone well. It didn’t take a genius to realize that Daniel wasn’t the best at it. But it wasn’t Joel’s place to overstep.
There was a lump in your throat and a boulder on your chest. You knew that Joel was right. You had always had that feeling that Daniel was nothing but an asshole. But Daniel was all that you had. Daniel was the only choice for you. It seemed as though Daniel was the only way for you to get married and have children. It had always been Daniel. 
“M’sorry,” Joel said, breaking the short silence between the two of you with a deep sigh. I shouldn’t be talkin’ ’bout one of my friends like that, ‘specially to his wife.” He let out a pitiful chuckle, the same boulder on his chest.
“No. You’re right,” You stopped him from his apology, “I married an asshole. Fuck, I married an asshole..” You repeated as if reality had finally hit you, “Can I.. Can I be completely honest for a second?”
“I’m all ears.”
You took a deep breath, feeling your palms starting to get sweaty before you began to talk, “I don’t know if I made the right decision, if this marriage was even ever a good idea. I felt like I had to marry him. He was all I had, the only person who’d shown me any kind of love. And maybe I was just scared of being so alone that I married him. But it doesn’t feel right now that it’s done, Joel. It really doesn’t.”
You felt like you could throw up, knowing this was your life now. You chose to have this life in fear that you could never find anything better. Daniel had you believing he was all you had and the only one you would ever have. It was a huge mistake, you knew that. But there was no reverse button. You would just have to learn how to live like this.
Joel stayed silent through your little rant, keeping his eyes on the road. With every word, his grip on the steering wheel grew tighter and tighter, but he remained silent.
You took a deep breath and ran a hand through your hair to get the fallen pieces out of your eyes. “But I don’t know. I guess it’s okay. It doesn’t feel right complaining on my wedding day.” You forced out a laugh.
Joel stayed silent other than a quiet groan as he glanced over his shoulder before pulling over to the side of the dirt road.
You furrowed your eyebrows as you watched him, confused.
“Is something wrong?” you asked, looking out your window and through the rearview mirror, worried that there could possibly be an issue with his truck.
Joel put the car into park and turned to look at you, “Course there’s somethin’ wrong. It’s your damn wedding night, and look how miserable you are right now. Ain’t too fair, don’t ya think?” He shook his head, “Just because you were dating him for a long time doesn’t mean you should feel pressured into marrying him, ain’t right.” He mumbled and rubbed his eyes and then his temples, almost as if this whole situation was giving him a headache. You couldn’t help but feel a slight ping of guilt, “Answer me this, did you really want to marry him?”
You frowned and nodded, “I did. I married him, didn’t I?”
Joel looked at you unconvinced as he said your name in a stricter voice, “You wanted to marry him? That’s why you were outside by yourself on the verge of tears, just wanting to leave? That’s why you’ve been complaining about him this whole drive t’me? I don’t know what your definition of love is, sweetheart, but that definitely ain’t mine.”
You kept silent, hating the fact that he was absolutely right. Love shouldn’t feel this way. Love shouldn’t be bringing you down as much as it was.
Biting the inside of your cheek, you took a deep breath and admitted your defeat, “I know, I know. I just, I never thought I would be able to find someone. I’ve been with Daniel forever, I don’t know anyone but him.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. There’s someone out there for everybody. And I can tell you right now that Daniel’s not for you. Someone who can be such an ass doesn’t deserve someone like you.” Joel shook his head, meaning every word that he said.
You stared at Joel, your eyes burning into him. He seemed to know you well, saying the things you had always been so terrified of saying. 
For years, you’ve been under the impression that Daniel was the only one who would ever find the heart to love you. He was the only one you would ever be able to get. But now, Joel is starting to change your whole perspective. Maybe this marriage was a mistake. Your entire relationship with Daniel was a mistake. And maybe he wasn’t the only one in this world who would want you.
There was a thick silence between the two of you, the sound of his engine running and his soft breathing all you could hear. You didn’t know what to say, and Joel had already said everything that he needed to.
“Darling...” Joel whispered and, after a minute of silence, placed a hand on your thigh to grab your attention.
“You’re right. You’re fucking right.” You felt breathless, and there was a huge lump in your throat, keeping you from saying much.
Joel frowned when he heard you and squeezed your thigh gently, a touch of reassurance to remind you that he was here to help.
Your mind was loud and quiet all at once. There were so many thoughts floating around but nothing you could understand. 
“Joel?” you whispered, glancing down at his hand resting on your thigh before looking back at him to meet his eyes. Your temples were nearly throbbing from this entire conversation, and you didn’t know what to do about it.
“Yes?” His voice was soft and caring, wanting nothing but to help you in this moment.
You weren’t entirely sure if there was a way that he could even help you. But, there was one thing and one thing only that came to mind.
You kept eye contact with him for a moment longer, your thoughts still swirling around in your head. Without saying another word, you moved in closer to him and pressed your lips against his in a deep kiss, closing your eyes.
Joel widened his eyes in shock for a split second before closing them, cherishing the kiss as he returned it.
While your mind was woozy and none of your thoughts seemed clear, you knew this felt right. With his lips on yours, your mind was finally clear. The throbbing in your head was gone. And you didn’t want this to end.
Joel’s heart was racing as he kissed you, his hand slowly moving from your thigh to your waist to get a better hold of you. There were still thoughts of Daniel in the back of his mind, knowing he was currently kissing his best friend’s new wife. But yet, he didn’t find himself feeling guilty and pulling away. He wanted the kiss to continue just as badly.
He hummed against your lips and gripped onto you gently, a soft squeeze to your hip. Your hands moved up into his hair, messing up the curls he had worked hard to maintain for the wedding. But neither of you seemed to care. 
His tongue entered your mouth and swirled around your own, wanting to taste you as much as he could. For years, ever since he’s known you, he’s been imagining a moment like this. But he knew he would never be able to act upon his wishes for you, who had been with Daniel the entire time. But as your relationship came crumbling apart, Joel was happy that he could be there for you, the one you would come to when needed.
Right now, Joel was the only person you wanted. This one kiss had so much more feeling and passion than any kiss you and Daniel ever shared. You had never wanted Daniel as much as you had wanted Joel at this very moment.
Joel pulled away from you slightly, much to your dismay. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” he asked, panting just a little against your lips. His lips were so close to yours that you wanted to pull him in and smash your lips against his yet again.
“Yes.” You said simply before pulling him back into you. Your arms wrapped around him as his hand moved down to your thigh, rubbing your leg gently while he focused on moving his lips with yours.
Your hands moved down his shoulders, feeling how big his arms were underneath his suit. You were dying to see how he would look without it. You parted lips again to quickly remove his tie and rid him of his suit jacket.
He took that moment as an opportunity to kiss down your neck, trying to find your most sensitive spots. He ached to make you feel good.
Daniel wasn’t even in the back of either of your minds. All you wanted was each other. Nothing else seemed to matter.
His lips remained on your skin as you undressed him from his top, revealing his muscular arms and chest covered in brown hair. He was even sexier than you would have ever imagined.
As you undressed him, he moved his hand up underneath your dress, reaching up to unhook your bra, all while his lips continued to kiss down your neck. He wanted to savor this moment with you. But at the same time, he didn’t know how much longer he would be able to wait.
He’s always wanted you but was always forced to stay on the sidelines because of Daniel. He was yours, and you were his. Joel was a good friend and didn’t want to get in the way. But after seeing how you were being treated on your wedding day, he couldn’t just sit around and watch anymore. He needed to take action. He needed to show you how it truly feels to feel cared about, to be with someone who actually wants you back.
He moved his hands up your back slowly before slipping your sleeves off of your arm, revealing your bare chest to him. You kept your eyes on him as you watched him stare at you, looking at you with such lust and admiration. 
You blushed, a smile appearing on your lips. You couldn’t even remember when or if Daniel had ever looked at you like that, but you didn’t care anymore. All you cared about was Joel.
Biting your lip, you moved your hands down to his belt, eager to rid him of them. Your fingers removed them with ease, pulling his pants down at the same time so he was now left in only his underwear in his truck. 
Without skipping a beat, he returned the favor and slipped your dress down to your feet. Having you like this in front of him, naked in just your panties, made his dick twitch in his underwear. He didn’t want to waste another second without making you his.
“God, you’re so damn gorgeous.” Joel shook his head and looked at you like he had just seen an angel on earth. He couldn’t understand why Daniel would treat someone as incredible as you the way he was.
But now, you were all his. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to have you for long, so he wanted to make this time count.
Joel’s eyes were glued onto your body as he slipped down his boxers, revealing his aching and throbbing member, precum leaking out of the tip, desperate to be inside of your wet pussy.
You gasped quietly when he revealed himself, a gasp that was shortly followed by a moan. He was a sexy man already, but this just made things even better. You’ve never seen a dick with the length and girth as his, and you couldn’t wait for it to be deep inside you.
“C’mere,” Joel mumbled, stroking his dick a few times while his eyes bore into you.
You did exactly as you were told and quickly moved over to the driver’s side of the truck, the seat already pushed all the way back to give you room. You moved onto his lap, wrapping your arms around him so you had something stable to hold onto.
Joel placed his hands on your waist to keep you in place. He lined himself up to your entrance, grabbing onto the base of his cock and teasing your clit with his tip. You bit down on your lip as you rubbed yourself against him, impossibly wet for him.
Slowly and gently, he pushed his length into you, a deep groan releasing from his throat, “Fuck.” he mumbled as he pulled you down onto his cock.
It felt like your voice was stuck in your throat, just a small string of moans coming out. He kept himself deep inside of you for a moment, not moving to allow you to get used to the feeling of him.
“You feel so fuckin’ amazing, sweetheart.” Joel whispered in your ear and rubbed your hips soothingly, cherishing the way your pussy hugged around him.
Digging his fingers into your waist gently, he began to thrust into you, keeping his pace slow and easy.
You leaned your head back, letting your eyes flutter close. All thoughts and regrets of marrying Daniel left your mind in a flash as Joel thrust into you, filling you up in a way you never have before. 
“Didn’t know you would be so wet for me, darlin’,” Joel smirked slightly as he quickened up his pace just a bit, “M’able to just slip right inside ya.” He groaned, rubbing your hips.
You nodded quickly and moved your hands up to his broad shoulders, holding onto his strong arms. You didn’t know that your body would react this way to Joel, but you couldn’t say you were surprised. You never knew how deprived you really were, how neglected your needs had been. “You do something to me, Joel,” you said between your moans.
Joel smiled when he heard you, a minor boost to his confidence as he moved one of his hands up to grab your breast, the other staying on your waist to keep you in place while he thrust in and out of you.
You leaned your head forward, your forehead resting on his shoulder. Gentle scratches were being made on your hip, only adding to the sensual experience. You didn’t want him to stop.
Joel was a man who knew who he was doing, something that Daniel had always lacked. You had never finished when you were ever in bed with him. But with the way things were going at the moment, you were confident that Joel would bring you to your climax.
“If you were mine, if I were able to have you every night,” Joel mumbled in between grunts and groans while thrusting into you, “I would be the happiest. Fuckin’. Man. Alive.” he moaned between his thrusts.
Small beads of sweat were beginning to form on his forehead while he lifted his hips to thrust into you. He wasn’t as young as he used to be and didn’t have the stamina he did when he was in his twenties, but he always aimed to please. Especially for you.
His breaths gradually grew into gasps and pants as he kept a quick pace with his thrusts. The moans of his name leaving your lips gave him more than enough motivation to make you finish. He wanted to put all of his focus on your orgasm rather than his. He wanted to see the look on your face, the way your eyes would roll in the back of your head when you reached your climax. Knowing that it would be him as the cause of you crossing the finish line made him feel a certain way.
He needed to make you feel good.
He lifted your hips up before pulling you back down on his cock, filling you up all the way so he was deep inside of you.
“Fuck!” You screamed out in pleasure, your nails digging into his shoulders. Still, he didn’t slow his pace. He was hitting exactly the right spot, the spot that made your head feel woozy.
Your eyes stayed closed, solely focused on reaching your climax.
Joel groaned as he watched you, thrusting inside of you deeply, wanting to get as deep inside of you as he possibly could.
“M’close baby..” Joel grunted and bit down on his lower lip, and grabbed onto your waist in a tighter grip.
Those words made you feel like jello in his hands, knowing that you had such an effect on you. Not even Daniel showed you this much pleasure.
“Fill me up, Joel..” You moaned and began riding his dick slightly, bouncing up and down on his cock, desperate to reach your own climax as well.
Joel groaned as those words left your lips before he grabbed onto your hips even tighter, thrusting one last time into you to get even deeper when he came. Stammering strings of breaths and moans were all that he could make out as he finished inside of you. He held you onto his dick as he finished, keeping you down.
The feeling of him being so deep inside of you, his hot breath panning against your bare skin, and his nails digging into your waist all helped to send you over the edge. You could barely speak as you came, your mind feeling as if it was a separate entity from your body. Your mind felt hazy, as if you were in a daze. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you came. You couldn’t remember yourself having an orgasm this intense with anyone else in your life.
Joel kissed your neck as you slowly came down from your orgasm, his chest still heaving from his own climax. Beads of sweat were visible on his forehead and chest as he tried to catch his breath and get his heartbeat back to normal.
A sense of guilt washed over him, but he tried to ignore it. He didn’t regret what he had just done, not in the slightest. But he knew the consequences would be hell if anyone ever found out.
Clearing his throat, Joel slowly slipped out of you before kissing your forehead.
Your chest felt tense, knowing that it was more than wrong. But just like Joel, you didn’t regret that it happened. You wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. Joel actually made you feel cared for, and he handled your body with such care.
He looked into your eyes for a moment and you gave him a small smile, one that he returned. It puts those thoughts of guilt in the back of your head. His smile made your heart skip a beat.
The two of you got dressed in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. The rest of the drive back to your place was silent as well. Your head rested on the window, staring outside as the trees passed you by with his hand on your thigh.
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fan-goddess · 23 days
Text
First Week Of School
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Request: By @slytherincursebreaker for me to make a written version of this artwork that I highly recommend you go look at before reading! They never cease to amaze me with their work!
Summary: Penelope it seems has been using words she doesn’t fully understand…
Authors Note: As you can see I had too much fun writing about domestic Michael. But do I care? Nope!
Taglist: @humanpurposes, @watercolorskyy, @omgbrcat @blue-serendipity @arcielee @slytherincursebreaker @tumblin-theworldaway
Warnings: Pregnancy, hormones, smutty talk, discussions of a sexual nature (if I miss any let me know!)
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Michael Gavey never thought he would ever have kids, let alone a wife, or even a girlfriend at that. Yet that all changed when in his first class of his first year at Oxford, he met you. Granted, he’d been an absolute idiotic prat, as he himself had put it. Yet somehow you kept on coming back to hang out with him with a smile on your face.
Even when Oliver Quick abandoned him in the pub at the drop of a hat just so he could get five minutes of stupid Cattons time and attention like some kind of desperate puppy, you managed to sneak away from your much more popular friends and catch up with him while he was headed back to his accommodation. And when he asked why, you’d said it was all to ask if he was okay and wanted someone to talk to.
In all honesty It was probably the first moment is sort of clocked in Michael’s head that he liked you as more than a friend.
He somehow managed to keep hanging out with you rest of the school year. Even plucking up the courage from not even he knows where to ask you for your phone number so he could talk to you during the holidays when he’d be forced to go back to his parents house.
When the next school year came around in September though, it was with great pride when he practically peacocked his way back to campus with you on his arms and his virginity long gone behind him.
And by the end of Oxford, he had a ring in his pocket just waiting to be placed on your finger, which soon was done by the end of that year.
Years went by since Oxford though, and yours and his lives changed for the better as the two of you moved in together in a nice quaint flat and eventually did manage to get married. It hadn’t been a very big event as the both of you only invited just a handful of guests, and yet it was easily the happiest days of yours and his lives.
It had been an especially emotional time when somehow both of you managed to start ugly crying at each other’s speeches.
Yet you easily managed to outcry yourself when two weeks after coming back from your honeymoon in America, or more specifically after a spontaneous trip to the airplane cubicle, you found yourself sitting on the toilet while Michael was away at work with a pregnancy test in hand, and four more sitting on the edge of the bath saying the same thing.
Pregnant.
You’d tried to surprise Michael that same day after finding out by surprising him when he came back from work, but it didn’t help as the so called ‘baby brain’ managed to somehow hit early, and somehow at the near exact time when Michael was walking through the front door about to greet you, you were frantically trying to put out the fire that had miraculously started on the now charcoal bun you’d placed in the about an hour ago in the oven.
“What on earth is going on?!” You hear Michael shout, his voice confused as he watches from the doorway you frantically try to throw the charcoal lump into the sink.
“It wasn’t my fault!” You say practically on the verge of tears as you try to blink through the sudden onslaught of tears.
“Hey hey hey none of that!” Michael says, dropping his leather satchel as he moves closer to you so he can take you in his arms and kiss the top of your head, while rubbing a comfortingly warm hand on your back. “What’s the issue love?”
“I-I-“ You begin, somehow crying even harder at Michael’s warm embrace. “I wanted to surprise you! But I ruined it!”
“We all forget things sometimes love, doesn’t make you any less smart! Now, what is it you wanted to surprise me with?”
“I…” You pause, stepping away slightly so you could grab his hand previously on your back and place it on your belly. “I’m pregnant Michael.”
You could swear you could see the exact moment his mind went numb, and you honestly don’t think you’ve seen a better state of his. Other than when he’s been fucked out of his mind of course.
“Are you serious?” He eventually says, knocking himself out of his little trance to look you dead in your eyes.
“Yeah darling,” You smile, beginning to tear up again when you see your husbands face slowly turn into his own delighted grin. “We’re having a baby!”
“We’re having a baby!” Michael repeats, his voice breaking as his own tears start falling. Scratch what you thought earlier about outcrying yourself in the bathroom earlier today, within five seconds Michaels already managed to outdo you again.
Over the next few months Michael was attentive as he could be with work and all that, and yet you honestly couldn’t have asked for anything better. Even when the baby was being born in the delivery room, Michael was standing next to you with his hand in yours, and very much ugly crying.
“Michael, you aren’t the one giving birth!” You groan, glaring up at him while you continue to groan in pain. Still, your ever sarcastic husband gave his very much expected sarcastic response while you continued to crush his hand in your own.
Though by the next day, you were holding his and yours daughter in your arms. A girl you both agreed to name Penelope.
The years went by quickly with Penelope in yours and Michaels lives, and it was with great sadness when you realised you wouldn’t get your little one to welcome you both home with a smile on her face, as Penelope’s starting date for primary school came soon approaching.
“Can’t she just start next year?” Michael asks, getting into bed with you and kissing the side of your head before grabbing the physics book on his side table.
“If she starts next year, she’ll be older than all the kids there. You don’t want people to think she got held back do you?” You smile, using your husband’s own doubts about her against him as you pretend to focus on your own book.
It takes everything in you not to burst out laughing at Michael’s little grumble he does out of the corner of your eye. You can’t see it, but you know for sure he’s got a little scrunched up glare on his face like he always does when he’s annoyed at something.
The next few days pass and Michael doesn’t bring up the idea of Penelope starting next year again. Though whether that’s fuelled by Michael’s fear of a held back daughter of something else you don’t know, as the first day of school soon approaches.
On the day however, everything starts smoothly as you make Penelope a healthy breakfast to get her through the day and make her a sufficient lunch box filled with food you’re pretty sure has the food she currently claims to like in.
Yet when you, Penelope and Michael get to the front gate of the school, that’s when the waterworks start. And it weren’t even started by Penelope nor yourself. In actuality it was Michael who began sniffling when your daughter walked into class for the first time all on her own, with her bright pink my little pony backpack strapped tight to her back paired with a bright smile on her face.
“Oh honey…” You sigh, putting your arms around him and tucking his head in the curve of your neck. It didn’t matter if his glasses were digging into your skin, or if his tears were leaving uncomfortable wet patches on your shirt. All that did matter was making sure Michael was feeling comforted and loved at that moment while other parents and children awkwardly stood around you.
“She’s not our little girl anymore…” He murmurs, his lips tickling your skin while his breath begins to slowly even out.
“She’ll always be our little girl Michael,” You say, kissing the top of his head before he moves away from you, his face a lovely shade of pink with embarrassment. “Whether she’s beginning primary school or finishing her A-levels, she will always be our little girl. Do you understand me?”
“Course I do you twit!” Michael says, rolling his eyes at not only you but at the mother he heard behind you gasp in shock at his little nickname, even when he most certainly knows he could’ve said a whole lot worse. Especially when he remembers the uni days and the whole range of vocabulary he used back then.
Still he ignores her as he grabs your hand to drag you back to the car so the two of you can go back home and get ready for work. And later that day when 3pm comes around, both you and Michael stand eagerly by the after school pick up point, with you watching with such fond eyes when you see Michael open his arms wide to give Penelope a big hug as she runs up to him, her own arms open as wide as they can go.
“Did you have a nice day sweetie?” You say, smiling as your daughter finally moves to look at you and give you your own small hug. Yet not as big of a one she gave Michael of course, as hell make sure to mention later on.
“Yeah mama!” She says, grinning loud and radiating pure joy as you and Michael lead her to the car with one of her hands in yours and the other in Michael’s. “I made lots new friends today!”
“Any boys?” Michael offhandedly asks, not really expecting an answer, but he certainly reacts like he was looking for one when your daughter actually answers with an enthusiastic yes and a handful of boy names. Totally oblivious to Michael’s genuinely horrified expression that makes you want to take out your phone and take a picture of it to make it your Home Screen picture.
“Well it’s a good thing you’ve made all these friends! Hasn’t it Michael?” You ask with a pointed stare and a harsh pinch to his leg after you’ve strapped in Penelope and got into the car together.
“Yeah yeah lots of friends I’m very proud of you sweetheart…” Michael says with gritted teeth, looking at you with his own glare telling you exactly what he thought of these new friends of your daughter. The topic of which he brought up again later that night, after eating dinner together, brushing teeth and getting into bed.
“I told you we should’ve let her wait another year…” Michael grumbles, glaring at the page of his book that he’d been on for the last ten minutes.
“And what would that simply achieve?” You ask him, turning the page of your own book. “It’s not like you’d be able to convince her cooties are real and to stay away from boys love, as the teachers would just intervene.”
“I could certainly try…” He simply says back, finally turning the page. You don’t engage with Michael anymore as you sigh while switching off your lamp and getting yourself comfortable between the sheets. Though before you shut your eyes you have to pull Michael down slightly to give him a deep loving kiss.
“Night love.” You say, shutting your eyes and acting oblivious to the flustered mess that is your husband sitting beside you. Yet when you hear his own shaky goodnight back you can’t help yourself from giggling slightly, before allowing sleep to take you.
The rest of the week though goes well, with a significantly less amount of tears from everyone while you drop Penelope off and pick her up from school. And by Friday, all three of you have managed to get yourselves in a good little routine.
“Now Michael, remember that I’ve got that meeting at work at 3 so I can’t pick up Penelope with you today!” You calmly say, focused on packing your daughter’s lunch box which according to her needs to have a cheesestring and a babybel so she can share with her friend Alex.
It’s adorable, so you allowed it almost instantly. Yet somehow it made it even better when you heard Michael two minutes after trying to interrogate your four year old daughter on whether Alex was a boy or a girl.
“Fine fine…” He groans, moving away with a roll of his eyes to kiss your forehead in a loving gesture. “And don’t worry love I’ll be fine on my own! Just as long as stupid Alex ain’t there…”
“Oh behave Michael!” You sternly say, your eyebrows furrowing in annoyance at his insistent worrying. “And besides. If you do this and behave, I’ll do that thing you like tonight with you. How about that?”
“Really?!” Michael asks, a mixture of surprise and arousal on his face. “Outfit and all?”
“Outfit and all.” You repeat, a sultry smile on your face as you kiss the corner of his mouth next to his lips and move away to grab the finished lunch box and place it in her backpack. “Penelope it’s time to go! Put your big girl shoes on please!”
“Yes mummy!” You can hear her say upstairs as she comes bolting down the stairs with an adorable smile on her face. The sound of which you assume knocks Michael from his little trance, as as soon as she comes down and starts putting her shoes on that’s when Michael comes from the direction of the kitchen with his own adorably bashful look on his face.
The rest of the day for Michael though goes great. As that morning with you he drops Penelope of at school, afterwards dropping you at your own work.
“I’ll see you later love.” He says, kissing you on the lips before you move to get out of the car.
“Oh I most certainly will baby.” You smirk back, making his stomach twist and turn in anticipation for later.
“Such a tease…” He murmurs, before starting the car and driving off to work. There weren’t many classes for the day, as by the time came for him to start driving to Penelopes school to get ready to pick her up, he’d already eaten lunch and popped into the bakery by his work to get her a little gingerbread man for an afterschool treat.
It was all going so well as he waited by the pick up area with the treat sitting in his coat pocket. That is however, before Penelope’s form teacher who he remembers meeting when originally toured around the school, came up to him and asked for a quick chat about something that happened today.
“What happened?! Did something happen to her?!” He frantically asked as soon as he walks inside the teachers empty classroom and sat in a chair opposite her desk.
“Oh no nothings happened to Penelope at all!” The teacher reassures, a comfortable smile on her face. “I do however want to discuss with you about some particular language that she used earlier today during break time on the playground.”
“Oh really?” Michael asks, curiousity on his face when he thinks about the words he and yourself try to use when around her. Though when the teacher begins to speak, pure and utter mortification is only what remains.
“From what I heard of the playground monitor on duty, Penelope was talking to one of her male classmates when she used what she herself called NFI. She explained the situation and the words involved in NFI quite graphically I must say…”
“Oh god I’m so sorry about this!” Michael groans, his head in his hands in an attempt to hide his bright red face of embarrassment.
“Oh please don’t be! I can understand that kids at this age are like sponges as they repeat whatever they hear their parents say and not know the meaning of the words at all. Myself and the teacher who’d been on duty have spoken to her about certain language and repeating what mummy and daddy have said, but I thought best to tell you as she’ll probably listen more to a parent than myself.”
“I will definitely have a discussion with her, and so will her mother too when she gets back from work.” Michael says, standing up and thanking the teacher for her time as he begins to leave the classroom. “Thank you for letting me know.”
When Michael exits the classroom Penelope is already sitting down on a chair opposite, staring at him with a smile on her face.
“Hi daddy!” She says, getting down from the chair to run up at him and give him a hug on his legs when he doesn’t reach down quick enough. “Where’s mummy?”
“Mummy’s at work sweetie, she said so this morning that she’ll see you later and is so sorry for not being here.” Michael says, now kneeling down to get to her eye level.
“It’s okay daddy! I forgive mummy!”
“Well I’m sure mummy is very grateful for that!” Michael says, pausing as he begins to help her put on her coat and continues on with what he was about to say. “Penelope your teacher told me you made a boy cry using NFI.”
“But he started it daddy! He’s a cu-“
“Loser!” Michael quickly interrupts, sternly staring at his daughter. “You can call him loser not that word... At least punch him I'll allow it since he's a loser...” He mumbles those last words, not expecting Penelope to hear him and actually listen.
Though that’s future Michaels problem when in two weeks he’s called into the headteachers office to talk about not encouraging violence…
The gingerbread man that is still in Michael’s pocket gets put in a cupboard soon as he and Penelope gets home while she’s busily distracted trying to put Bluey on the tv by herself. On a normal day he’d not allow it as a form of punishment, but even he can’t deny the enjoyment of those little Australian dogs…
There’s a reason why he sometimes calls Penelope his little muffin after all.
When you get back from work and give him a quick kiss, of course only after saying hi to Penelope who continues to sit watching tv, he can’t stop the words from spilling from his mouth.
“Penelope’s teacher talked to me after school. Apparently she’s been using NFI at break time and made a boy cry…” He says, watching about a hundred emotions go through your face. Though the one he least expects for you to settle on is amusement, as you begin laughing hard.
“She really is your daughter I suppose!” You laugh, practically crying as you wipe your eyes with the back of your hands. “Never thought she’d be showing this early!”
“Oh… bugger off!” Michael groans in mock frustration.
“Careful Mikey you know how impressionable she is!” You continue to laugh, practically red at how frustrated your husband now looks standing in front of you. Again, that little scrunched up expression evident on his face.
“There are so many words I want to call you right now…” He moans, stepping towards you with a dark look in his eyes that you can’t help but feel attracted to.
“Oh really?” You begin, smiling as you wipe the final onslaught of tears from your eyes. “Maybe you can tell me tonight? When we do that thing?”
“Oh is that still on the table?” Michael says, his mood a compete turn around as his face looks surprised and yet also thrilled. “I’d have thought-“
“Oh please baby. You really thought that since you were acting like a spoilt boy you wouldn’t be getting a reward? Well then I suppose it’s a good thing what will be happening tonight is not a reward for you then my love. But in fact a punishment. There will be no outfit anymore, no more of that thing you like for a long time. Do you understand that?”
“Yes ma’am…” Michael murmurs, his eyes dark and hooded as he bends his head down about to kiss you. That is however, before Penelope comes running round the corner with panic on her face.
“Mummy mummy mummy! Please don’t punish daddy! It was my fault!” Your daughter begs with genuine horror in her voice. “Pleeeeeeeease don’t punish him!”
“Oh no it’s okay baby!” You say, kneeling down to take her in your arms. “I’m not gonna actually punish daddy you don’t need to worry about him.”
“Do you promise?” She asks, looking at you with such an adorable pout on her face you honestly can’t think of anything cuter at that moment, even with the reasoning for it lingering in the back of your mind.
“I promise.” You say, bringing her in for a big hug while she burrows her head into your body and wraps her own smaller arms around you as tight as she can.
And as Penelope’s distracted, you make sure to wink at your still flustered husband and mouth three simple words at him that makes him somehow flush an even deeper shade of red.
Definitely a punishment.
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freakoont · 1 month
Note
In love with your Ranpo fics fr, could I order another Ranpo fic? Maybe something similar to unrequited love again (⁠ʘ⁠ᗩ⁠ʘ⁠’⁠) but this time from his perspective
❝𝐈𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮?❞
︵‿︵‿୨🍪୧‿︵‿︵
𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: 𝐁𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐨 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐃𝐨𝐠𝐬
𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫: 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 𝐄𝐝𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭: 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞, (𝐘/𝐍) 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. 𝐒𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠... 𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅 // 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓 𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆
【SFW】
GENDER NETURAL BUT AFAB READER sorry :')
NOT PROOF READ !
REQUESTS ARE OPEN ! check the bottom of this post for information <3
︵‿︵‿୨🍪୧‿︵‿︵
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Ranpo Edogawa, it was hard to describe him... He was definitely special, to you. There was just something about the way he'd happily say your name as he would run up to you with the latest snack he'd find... Or how he'd ramble about his day to you... Or the way he'd call you his favorite assistant.
He definitely knew how to make someone smile... But he also knew how to make someone feel dumb.
It's been... How long since you've known this guy? How long have you been trying to make it obvious that you liked him?
For someone who called themselves the world's greatest detective... He could also be clueless.
How many gifts, snacks and treats, have you left on his desk since you've met him? How much do you have to deal with his cockiness and tease? How long. Have you waited. For him to say. Three simple words?
╰┈➤ ❝I love you❞
Maybe its time you give up. There's no point in trying. He'll just never notice it, huh?
Or maybe he has, but just doesn't care... Maybe he just doesn't see you anymore than just a friend.
︵‿︵‿୨🍪୧‿︵‿︵
Ranpo stepped into the Agency a few days later, ready to be visited by your great smile and a big hug from you ! He always loved it when you'd give him attention, it was a different kind of attention compared to the other agency members.. similar to that same respect that he had with Fukuzawa.
"(Y/NN) !" He called out to you, noticing how you were at your desk, not jumping to greet to him, like you often did. He didn't suspect anything at first.
You turned to him with a straight look, no smile at all... "Yes?"
"wellllll?" He dragged along, holding his hand out. You were silent for a moment before pulling a small lollipop from your pocket and placing it in his hands. "That's it??" He questioned, disappointed. You often brought him big and new things from different stores and bakeries. Besides, didn't you promise him a surprise a few days ago??
"I don't have anything else on me," you spoke before turning your attention back to your computer, typing away and choosing to end the conversation there.
Ranpo stared at you for a moment, quiet.
He didn't want to question it, so he chose to ignore it and sit down at his desk. 'Maybe you're just feeling down. Or having a mood swing.' he thought to himself while he put his legs up on his desk and leaned back, staring at the ceiling.
.
It wouldn't take long for Ranpo to notice a pattern after just a few days. You seemed to be ignoring him more and more. You gave your attention to the work and other members instead of him.
What, him jealous? No..
Why would he be jealous? He's the world's greatest detective ! The thought of love just didn't sit right with him. He was too busy helping dumb little cops with their cases to get into that business ! ...right?
That night, he stared up at his ceiling, not seeming to fall asleep as he thought about your pretty face or how you'd smile at him... Or the way you'd pamper him with more attention then he could ever get compared to all the other agency members combined.
...
...maybe he did miss you, just a little.
...
What felt like forever, only a few weeks, since he's actually hung out with you, he's decided to confront you about this! Obviously there's something upsetting you that he's not knowing about? It's that easy to see!
"(Y/N)." His voice had called out to you as you were ready to enter the Agency building. You turned to see him standing with a frustrated and upset, yet saddened, look on his poor face.
"yes-?"
"why are you ignoring me." He cut you off, not wanting to wait any longer to know the truth.
You were quiet to say the least, but not surprised. ".. whatever do you mean?"
"don't act stupid, (Y/N). I can easily pull out my glasses and use my ultra deduction if I wanted to." He paused with a sigh as he looked up. He had noticed a small leaf fall from the sky, the wind carrying it as it fell on top of your head. He couldn't help but smile a little, but he was still serious about getting an answer. "But I want to hear the reason from you."
"... You tell me, Edogawa." He was a little shocked by you calling him by his surname. That was.. a different approach. Slowly he pulled his glasses out and pushed it up the bridge of his nose, staring at you quietly.
"... y'know, you could've told me all that time, yeah.. I was bound to.. deduce it eventually.."
"..I know." You lied.
"..so why didn't you?"
You were quiet for a moment before pulling that leaf, that fell on your head, out of your hair and holding it in between your fingers. Ranpo didn't like the friction in the air, it oddly felt intense to him. Maybe it was just the awkwardness between you too... But he didn't understand why it had to be like this. "...I don't know."
"no, you do know."
"..I guess," you paused and sighed, letting the leaf fall to the ground. "So what now?"
"..is it too late to say I love you..?" He spoke under his breath, the smallest tint of blush on his pretty face.
"..yeah."
"..you've lost those feelings, huh?" You nodded your head while awkwardly smiling at the ground, your hands were held tightly together. "..sorry. I was an idiot."
"let's just stay friends..."
"..ah, of course."
︵‿︵‿୨🍪୧‿︵‿︵
It hurts to be the greatest yet feel the worst.
REQUESTS - I am accepting any requests for any character for the following fandoms:
Bungo Stray Dogs, Genshin Impact, Danganronpa, Ninjago, Southpark, Obey Me, 7 Deadly Sins, Tokyo Revengers, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Death Note, Walking Dead, Demon Slayer, Assassination Classroom, Hunter X Hunter, Komi Can't Communicate, Diabolik Lovers and Doki Doki Literature Club
I will write any of the following: smut (all characters WILL be aged up), fluff, crack/joke, specific plot, angst, HC's, BL, GL
Do not expect me to write any of the following: intense gore scene, sexual themes that are disturbing to most people and anything that will get me banned for a specific and obvious reason.
I accept requests for any character from any of the fandoms I have named :)
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neteyamslovrr · 1 year
Text
TO LOSE YOU
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summary: tsu'tey had lost everyone he had ever loved. fearful of loving you to lose you, he pushes those feelings down just for you to dig them back up
3.5k words fem!omaticaya reader angst to fluff
────── ⋆☆⋆ ──────
Quick, agile, brave, and mighty. Four words to describe the great warrior Tsu’tey.
He was idolized by every young hunter, he had wooed every woman, he was the man of the people. However, this man lacked the space in his heart for more than the people, a space that needed vulnerability and kindness. What space was that? A space for someone special.
Tsu’tey was in the forest, his limbs movingly stealthily against the foliage, his bow drawn, ready to shoot. The soft sounds of the forest were twittering in his perked-up ears, moving to the direction of any sound. He had just lost sight of a large creature, perfect to bring back to his people. Yet the creature had run off into the forest faster than Tsu’tey could draw his bow.
He was extremely alert, as you have to be in the hostile forest. But each of his senses were heightened. He wanted that animal, the fact that he missed his chance already made him angry but the fact he couldn’t find it again made him seer.
It was a quiet rustle in the flora that made Tsu’tey’s hunched back straighten as he tilted his body towards the sound. He was weary of the noise, knowing there were many sounds in this large forest, but this rustle grew closer and closer to him.
With the release of his arrow a shout was immediately heard, a shout no animal could have made. “AH! You Skxwang!” a woman had shouted in the distance. Feet taking off in a hurry, scurrying as his feet broke twigs and disturbed all life in the area as he senselessly ran towards the woman’s voice. As he landed upon the destination of the sound he found the woman was you, a woman he had grown up besides, trained with and fought wars with.
Eyes grew in worry as he realised his arrow had grazed the flesh of your thigh, you must’ve moved just in time not to be impaled, but that did not stop the blood gushing out of your open wound.
“Y/N! Why are you here?!” His first reaction was to shout, demand to understand why you were so deep in the forest following him, however, it was soon abandoned as he noticed your inability to respond to anything as you held you leg wailing in pain.
He was speechless. The only sound he was able to conjure was to call his direhorse. He saw your blood-stained hands and felt nauseous. There was so much blood.
The trotting of his horse was met with a feeling of relief as he reached down to pick you up. “OW!”
“I am sorry! We must get you to Tsa’hik!”
“Skxwang! You- AH!” He tried to be quick placing you on the back on his horse but it didn’t distract from the pain. He hopped behind you, connecting with his horse and holding you from behind riding through the forest with haste.
Every trot was met with a hiss of pain until you both reached the Tsa’hik’s hut.
You now laid on the ground of her tent, jars of medicinal herbs filling your senses as the pain shot through your leg. “I swear Tsu’tey I am going to pluck your eyes- OW!”
Tsu’tey paced around the tent, he was going to stay with you until Mo’at had declared you fit. He was the perpetrator. The one who shot an arrow mere millimetres away from impaling your leg. Every time you hissed and shouted the guilt in his chest grew heavier. He knew he was off his shooting game but he didn’t think he was going to seriously injure one of his people, definitely not someone he had grown up beside.
“Be quiet my child, the pain will subside shortly.” Mo’at’s voice was calming, as her lengthy fingers worked precisely to tie a thick fabric around the gash to stop some of the final bleeding.
“Thankyou Tsa’hik.” Breathlessly you thanked her as she gave you a knowing nod before leaving the tent to attend to other tasks. She was a busy woman.
Tsu’tey stared down at you, his mouth agape. He had never been so stricken before seeing someone in such pain that he had caused.
“I am sorry Y/N.” He kneeled next to you, laying a hand on your shoulder. Shuddering at his touch you grunted in response. “I truly am.”
“It is unlike you to apologize.”
“I have injured you, it is different.” You hummed rolling your head to the side to face away from Tsu’teys frowning face. A long beat of silence enters the room, embracing your bodies with the tension. “Why were you out following me?”
Your breath hitched in response, you didn’t want to reveal the real reason you were following him in the forest. You couldn’t, it would destroy the simple friendship the two of you share. “Why is it any of your business?”
“Because you followed me into the forest, without warning knowing it could be dangerous.” A stern tone now erupted out of Tsu’tey, his signature frown adorning his face.
“I don’t think I owe you anything considering you almost killed me.” You had got him there. He wasn’t going to badger an injured woman but he was going to badger his injured friend.
“Tell me.”
“It is none of your business Tsu’tey.”
“Y/N.” he growled lowly, tail whipping back and forth due to his anger.
“Do me a favour Tsu’tey and please get me some water. I am thirsty.”
“Your attempt at changing the subject is poor.” Even though he was ridiculing your attempts he was still getting the water for you. A large leaf in his hand he sat back down beside you. Sitting up to take the water out of his hands the pain in your thigh run through your entire body. “Ah!”
“Lay back I will feed to you.” Tsu’tey motioned for you to lay back as you swatted his hand away.
“I…can drink m-myself.” Your attempt at sitting up again failed as the pain in your thigh became more intense. Tsu’tey gave you a look, one that said, ‘just sit back please.’ You complied laying back on your forearms as Tsu’tey scooted towards your head.
One hand help your chin tilting your head upwards as the other held the leaf steadily to slowly poor the water into your mouth. His slender fingers on your chin made your face tingle. You had yearned for Tsu’tey since you were children, but you pushed those feelings down as he grew older and grew interested in other women. Those feelings never went away and in times like these they resurfaced immediately.
“Thankyou Tsu’tey.” You smiled back at him before removing the weight off your forearms and lying back down.
“It is duty. No need to thank.” Ah yes. Duty. No matter what Tsu’tey had his duties. That is what he tended to most now. He was the only warrior with no mate. After Sylwanin was killed and Neytiri mated to Jake sully he had never wanted to find another. He wasn’t bothered any longer to find a mate when his first duty was to serve his people beside Jake.
But that never stopped you from hoping that one day he would look at you in a different light. See you as a woman not a friend. You hoped that his heart also fluttered when you met eyes or when your limbs brushed up against each other, but it felt useless. He never would feel that way.
This however was where you were wrong. His heart fluttered but he refused to let it show, he refused to accept this feeling. It was weak of him. It only brought hurt to his life when he loved so he would stay beside you as a friend.
“You can go Y’know. I will not perish.” He nodded with a chuckle.
“You are too tough to perish, but I cannot leave. You must tell me why you followed.” As he went back to the sore subject you hissed at him in annoyance.
“You will get no answer from me. Don’t annoy me while I lay injured by your doing.” Tsu’tey hissed back in annoyance.
“Y/N I do not understand what it so hard to tell…” before he finished you let out a loud shouting hiss at him baring your teeth at him.
“Go.” For one so annoyed at Tsu’tey you couldn’t in your heart be mean. So you ‘go’ was not a demand but rather sounded like a desperate plead.
Tsu’tey frowned, his forehead creasing as he got up from his position next to you. “Goodbye Y/N.” he muttered before sulking out of the Tsa’hik’s tent to go tend to his other duties for the day.
It had been a couple days and you were now completely healed. Tsu’tey popped into the tent once or twice a day to give you water or feed you some fruit but decided to not pester you about your whereabouts on that day. He knew there was a reason you would not tell him, but he also knew there was no way he could get you to talk so he decided to keep his mouth shut.
As you felt cooped up in your tent for the past few days you took this time to go and just lay in the forest, fly your ikran and be one with nature. It made you feel calm and finally let you take a deep breath that wasn’t filled with strong scents of paste that had been massaged into your wound.
As soon as Tsu’tey saw you take flight to your ikran he knew it was time to ask about. To figure out your secret. Someone had to know, he prayed someone knew.
“Jakesully!” He shouted chasing after the Olo’eyktan. “You! Jakesully!” He shouted again finally gaining his attention.
“What? Huh? Oh brother, what is it that you need?” Jake patted a hand on Tsu’tey’s shoulder motioning for him to sit with him so they could converse.
Tsu’tey took a deep breath. He was nervous to ask the Olo’eyktan something about you. It would look stupid to Jakesully, he thought. That he had to be secretive to get the answers he needed from one of his close friends.
“Y/N. I question her actions.” His face was stern, eyes glaring hard at Jake with a slight twinkle of confusion.
 “Why don’t you just ask her? You two are friends aren’t you?” Tsu’tey rolled his eyes. If Y/N would have told him he would not have to be facing this shame right now.
“I already thought of that! Let me finish.”
“Ok ok….go ahead tough guy.” Tsu’tey grunted again before taking another deep breath.
“As you know…I shot her with my bow.” Jake just nodded listening intently. “Well that is because she followed me into the forest. She stalked me like prey and refuses to tell me why she was there.”
“Why are you asking me this? If she doesn’t want to tell you, you shouldn’t pester-”
“AGH! I know that! I must know though. You must know something about it you are Olo’eyktan.”
“Brother…I don’t know if she wants you to know.” Tsu’tey was growing more concerned by the second. What were you hiding from hi? What did you feel you could not confide within him?
“Please Jakesully. Please.” Jake knew it was serious when he begged, Tsu’tey never would have begged if it weren’t for something serious. Shaking his head Jake was now the one who was taking a deep breath.\
“Those wounds brother.” He pointed to the man gunshot wounds on Tsu’tey’s chest. “Those are the reason.”
“I do not understand. Why would me being shot make her follow me? She was not there when it happened.”
Jake wore a sad smile, laying a hand on his shoulder. “She was the one who found you Tsu’tey.”
He wasn’t responding to your calls through your neckpieces. “Tsu’tey? Do you copy? Please c’mon c’mon.” You begged he was alive as you rode deeper into the forest, looking eagerly for your Tsu’tey. Your heart was pounding, it felt as if you were about to throw up. Everything around you was loud, the animals screeching, the machinery exploding and the people screaming. Though that noise stopped as you saw a large blue figure sprawled out on the forest floor.
Your heart stopped and jumped out of your throat. Your hands were shaky as you walked closer to the figure. Please don’t be him. You prayed but those prayers were not heard. Because when you noticed his signature necklace adorning his battered body you let out a blood curdling scream. Nothing was loud anymore, not louder than the sound of your own heartbeat in your ears, pounding at your skull.
“MA TSU’TEY! NO NO NO!” You had fallen next to his limp body grasping his large hand in yours. The blood was overwhelming. You tried putting pressure on the wounds staining yourself in his death. His chest was still rising, a soft breath in and out as you pleaded with Eywa. “Oh great mother please! PLEASE! Do not let me lose this man. Oh Eywa I beg of you.”
Your pleas were drowned out by your own wails. Racking your chest as you cried into his weak body. “HELP US PLEASE. I NEED HELP PLEASE!” Your screams were lost to the sound of forest. Tears staining your face like his blood stained your hands. It felt like hours you laid there listening to his shaky breaths as you wept. “Y/N!” It was Jake, he rushed towards you. “Shit.”
“Please, help me take him back. He is still breathing. Please Jake. I need to get him help.” You looked crazy, blood shot eyes and blood down your arms and torso.
“Neytiri! We need backup!” Jake called before rushing over to Tsu’tey. You were holding onto his hand tightly.
“Your getting help now Tsu’tey. You will be fine.” You whispered into his ear following him onto Toruk with Jake.
You cradled his head in your arms. Still wailing as Jake tried to calm you down. Nothing could take away from the fact that you were holding your first loves dying body in your arms stained with his blood. You swore to yourself that you would never let this happen again. You would protect the might warrior who protects all.
Jake continued to tell Tsu’tey about how you didn’t leave his side until he woke. That everyone tried to tear you away from Tsu’tey’s sleeping body but you refused to let him out of your sight.
“She never wanted you to know about that day. She didn’t want you to know that she loves you. I mean man, sometimes I can still hear her screams from that day.”
Tsu’tey was frozen. You followed him, because you were afraid of losing him? Because you loved him? He felt those heart flutters he tried to push down, turn into thumps. You loved him?
“She follows me because…she is afraid?” Jake nodded patting his back. Tsu’tey was usually a stoic man, but all of his emotions were on his face. He was confused even though the truth was revealed. How long had you loved him? Were you always following him? Was he constantly blind to your affections or was he wilfully ignorant due his fear of loving again.
“She follows you because she can’t lose someone she loves. Which I think is something I would be afraid of too.” Tsu’tey nodded slowly, still trying to reel his thoughts back together.
“She loves me?” A small smile was apparent on his face. He was in disbelief. You saved him that day, you never told him. You lived every day keeping your love buried down. He was to dig it back up. Because…he thinks that he loves you as well.
“It’s obvious Tsu’tey.” Jake chuckled standing up wiping his hands of dirt. Giving Tsu’tey a hand to help him up.
“I love her too.”
“Once again brother. That is obvious.” Tsu’tey chuckled at this patting Jake on the back before giving him a brotherly hug.
“Thankyou Jakesully.” Then he took off immediately calling his ikran to find you in the forest. This rush of adrenaline was going to lead him to you. He can’t let his fear of love stop him from getting to you, not when you loved him so dearly.
You were collecting herbs and plants to bring back to Tsu’tey to thank him for taking care of you while you were injured. It made you blush thinking of how diligently he cared for you. It made you hope he had some feelings for you.
It was like you manifested his presence as you felt the soft breeze turn into gusts as the large ikran flew above and landed next to you.
“Tsu’tey? What are you doing here?” Tsu’tey hopped off his ikran and stood right in front of you. It was odd how he just stared into your eyes, refusing to break eye-contact. “Tsu’tey?”
“I know why you followed me.” Your heart dropped. Did Jake tell him? Did he fly all this was to tell you ‘thanks for saving me but I do not love you.’ Your face scrunched up, chin wobbling worried that he was going to make fun of your obscene methods of ‘protection.’
“There’s a reason I didn’t tell you.” Your voice was sharp and upset, but Tsu’tey didn’t flinch. His eyes were full of joy, it confused you entirely.
“You saved me Y/N. I am forever in debt to you.” You grimaced at his words. Was he going to butter you up so he could nicely reject you.
“It is what a friend does.”
“I can no longer be your friend.” He wished he didn’t say it so abruptly when he saw your pained expression. Your heart felt as if it shattered as you took a step back from him. Looking away to stop tears bursting out of your eyes. “No! Not like that.”
“Just reject me Tsu’tey. I understand you do not want to love after what has happened to you, it is selfish of me to hope.” Tsu’tey shook his head taking one of your hands in both of his and bringing it up to his mouth to kiss it gently.
“You have been there for me every milestone Y/N. For awhile my heart has skipped a beat when I see you but I constantly ignore it because I am so afraid of losing someone I love…but you have saved me, have loved me every moment. You have faced my fears of losing someone you love.” He placed your hand on one of the bullet scars and looked down at you.
“The day I was shot. I could only think if you were alright. I closed my eyes thinking of you. If I knew that I would have frightened you so badly Y/N, I would have dodged every bullet to save your heart the pain. But my negligence to your love is what has bruised your heart.”
You tried desperately not to let tears spill. After all these years of pining, it felt as if this day would never occur. “Tsu’tey…I have loved you for so long. When I saw you bleeding out I just-.” You started to get choked up, sniffling your own tears back up.
He only smiled sadly before pulling you into a tight embrace. He felt your body shake in his arms as he laid his chin on top of your head. “Let it out yawne.” It felt right calling you his beloved, he was so stupid to never act upon his love due to fear. He knew what it was like to see his love shot, he would be forever guilty for letting you find him.
“I follow you into the forest. Because I am scared that one day you will not return. Even if I had to live everyday as your friend it would be a life worth it if you were there.”
“You will not have to live as my friend Y/N. I see you.” He tilted your chin up so you could see the longing in his eyes as he confessed to you. “I am sorry for being ignorant to our feelings.”
“Do not apologize Tsu’tey. I see you.” He leaned in leaving a soft kiss on your lips. It was a kiss that was long needed between the two of you. It felt like your heart swelled and burst as you rested your hands on Tsu’tey’s chest as you kissed him passionately.
His hands pulled you closer to his body, as he kissed you back. Love spilling into each other as you broke the kiss to rest your foreheads together.
“I can’t believe I went so long without kissing you.”
“You should make it up to me then.”
────── ⋆☆⋆ ──────
authors note: i wrote this very sick so plz forgive me if there are typos or anything! i am in my tsu'tey obsession rn so help fuel it for me. love ya'll <3
tags: @fanboyluvr @evelinakostina @tarrynightss @citruskasa @netesbby @xx-mayday-martyr-xx (tagged everyone who replied to the post)
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thatfreshi · 9 months
Text
We Never Cease Being Lucky (Astarion x Reader)
TW - anxiety attack
Recommended Song: Renee - Sales
You absolutely adore birthdays. Although, you haven't celebrated yours since you met Astarion on that godforsaken beach. You remember asking when his is, as you do with everyone. He trailed off, distant.
"I... I don't quite remember."
You never asked about it again, but that sadness kept you in a chokehold. How could you go so long without celebrating your birthday? It's not fair, to not be able to celebrate life, to have that ripped away from you.
Once you end your adventures, you buy a house together, free from all the past pains, dancing on hardwood floors far from anything that ever hurt you. You still live in Baldur's Gate though, and you realize something one day while lying in bed.
"Aster, you were born here, right?"
"Of course, never left, well until I was taken."
You smirk, a little plan unfolding in your mind.
"I know what we're going to do this evening."
It's not often you have a suspicious smile across your face. He's curious.
"Well my love, please do tell."
"We're going to break into the courthouse!"
He laughs, sitting up to stretch, letting go of the slumber.
"Adorable. As far as I recall, we're done with our silly little adventures."
You just stare at him, and he realizes you're serious.
"Wait, why do you want to break into the courthouse?"
"It's a secret!"
"I feel as though it's hardly fair to ask for my assistance if you're not even going to tell me why."
"Well, it's for you. You'll see."
"Alright then, I revoke my complaints. Breaking into the courthouse, sounds great."
He used to be a lot more secretive about it, but he loves when you do things on his behalf. You don't often get such an opportunity, but tonight, tonight you finally get to give him something he's been missing for so long. Of course, as long as everything goes to plan. You tell him to grab a few lockpicks, and the two of you head out into the darkness.
"Sooooo, you can't even give me the slightest hint as to what you're up to?"
"Nope, but at least now you know it involves your very own specialty: sneaky criminal activity."
"Now, I think I have quite a few other far more interesting specialties, but I guess I'm just a glorified key to you."
He scoffs.
"No, you're just really good at getting into places quietly, and I think if I did this by myself I'd probably get arrested, and I definitely don't need you bailing me out considering you'd hold it over my head forever."
"Well you're right about that."
You give him a playful shove, and he trips on a loose cobblestone.
"Okay, rude. Maybe I'll turn you in anyways, say you were trying to involve me in some illegal heist against my will."
"But if you do that, you don't get your surprise!"
"Ugh, fine. I'll play along."
You shush him as you get closer to your target. There's a sleeping guard posted outside, one that the two of you successfully sneak past, finding a side entrance.
"Do you have any idea where this door leads?"
"Nope."
You smile at him, and he rolls his eyes.
"You're asking me to open a lock and you have no idea what's behind it? You clearly are not as masterful of a thief as you used to be."
He starts to pick away at the lock anyways.
"Well, I have been in retirement for a little bit."
At the end of your sentence, you hear that final click, and he opens the door. When the two of you get inside, it's pitch black, all the candles and oil lamps burnt out.
"Do you see any signs that say Records?"
"No, what would I possibly want with the city's records?"
"You'll see! Gods, just let me do something nice."
"It seems like I'm doing most of the work so far..."
"It's fine. Once we find the records room I can do the rest. You're just helping."
He can't resist that grin of yours, clearly excited by your mysterious plans. Astarion gives in, sighing as if he's bothered, but the two of you continue to look for the records room. Eventually, you turn a corner to yet another locked door. You bat your eyes at him, and he goes to work once again.
"You owe me after this."
"Please my love, I'm telling you you're gonna be so excited!"
"If you insist my dear."
He gets the second door unlocked, ushering you inside. He casts fire, lighting up a nearby candelabra. You're met with bookshelves stacked high with pieces of paper loosely put together, turning more golden and tattered as you look to your left.
"This is it!"
You immediately start to look at the dates on the records, finding the range of about two centuries ago. Without a care for the organization, you quickly flip through years and years of records, looking for anything that could be a birth record.
"Darling, I thought the point was to sneak in here, not throw papers all over the floor and have someone know we were here."
You ignore him, becoming a little desperate to find what you're looking for. The text is fading on some of these documents, making it hard to know they're not his. He crouches down on the floor beside you, realizing you're stressing out about this unknown objective.
"Hey, hey, Tav. What's wrong?"
You start to tear up a little, thinking this would be so simple, that this stuff wouldn't be so carelessly stacked on shelves.
"I can't- I can't find it."
You throw the stack of papers on the floor, wiping a tear off your cheek.
"I know you're trying to do something nice for me my sweet, but maybe if you told me what you're looking for, I could help you."
You sniffle, trying not to go into a full sob.
"I- I wanted to-"
You choke up, almost unable to speak. He takes your hands in his.
"Breathe Tav, breathe. In, and out."
You listen to him, trying your best to just inhale and exhale. You didn't think this attempt was going to lead to an anxiety attack, but luckily he's dealt with plenty himself. Your breath steadies as you tightly grab his hands.
"Now, what are you looking for?"
"I... I was trying to see if I could find your birth certificate. You know, since we don't know when your birthday is and all, I thought it might be nice to know. I feel so bad, it just passes every year and you're none the wiser."
He's dumbfounded, shock in his eyes, almost a little confused. You were having an anxiety attack just now because you weren't going to find when his birthday is?
"Darling, I... that's very sweet, but nothing worth this much stress. I haven't even thought about it in years."
"Yeah, but I just really love birthdays, and I just wanted a day where we could celebrate you, you know?"
"I appreciate that sentiment, truly, but if we can't find it, it's okay. You tried, and that's enough. Besides, what's the point in keeping something almost three centuries old at this point?"
"I don't know, I thought that was their job, to keep old shit."
You look at the scattered papers, and he follows your gaze. Something catches his eye, a document sitting to your left.
"Wait, look at that one."
You turn, picking up the piece of paper and holding it in the light of the flame.
"Holy shit."
He sits himself on your shoulder, looking at the writing with you.
"Gods, I really am that old."
You smile, another small tear falling.
"Aster, look. It's tomorrow."
He continues to read, eyes crossing the date again.
"We never cease being lucky, do we?"
"No, I guess we don't."
You turn to kiss his cheek, and then roll up the paper, putting it in your bag.
"Wait, you can't just take that!"
"Why not? Means more to us than them."
You simply shrug and he shakes his head, almost in disappointment. You clearly had no intention of making it seem like you weren't here. He doesn't stop you though, as he can't deny he'd like to keep his birth certificate as well.
"Thank you my dear, for always thinking of me."
"There's nothing more important I could think of."
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2chopsticks2eyes · 1 year
Text
Obsession
Tumblr media
2chopsticks2eyes - Masterlist
Pairing:
Bang Chan x Fem Reader
Hwang Hyunjin x Fem Reader
Themes: Smut, Pining
Word Count: ~6k | AO3
Warnings: Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Cussing, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Vaginal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Vaginal Sex, Cum Eating, Pining, Protected Sex, Ambiguous/Open Ending
Summary: You find out that this new guy you are going to start dating, Chris, is your best friend's new roommate. You are excited, but your best friend, Hyunjin (who may or may not be madly in love with you) is not so thrilled. Chris notices this and the two men settle on some sort of... agreement.
Author's Note: This work was inspired by a request from @stayandot8. I think this might be the shortest fic I've written, but I promise I put my heart into it! 💖 Proofread was only skimmed over so I hope it isn't trash. 🙃
__________________________________________
Hyunjin had been your best friend for what felt like ages. However, in reality, you two only met a couple of years ago when you started teaching with him at an art studio. You bonded with him over your shared affinity with fine arts and it was the most natural friendship you had ever experienced. You were just simply comfortable with one another.
Some might say a bit too comfortable. At least for a friendship between a boy and a girl.
Since you were co-workers, you spent most of your time with the man. You would have your meals with him, spent your days off with him, and even spent some nights at each other’s places if one of you was too lazy to go home for the night.
You don’t think that there was anything you wouldn’t be comfortable with around him. That’s what lead you to ask him to come shopping with you for your new date.
“How long have you even been talking to this guy?” He said as he stole your coffee from your hands while you strolled through the outlet mall, looking for a place to shop. He emptied the contents of the drink and tossed it into a nearby garbage bin.
“Just a few weeks, but we really clicked on Tinder and he agreed that he wasn’t just looking for a quick fuck.” You glanced in one of the windows of a shop and decided against it, continuing your walk with your bestie.
“And you’re sure he’s not some creep?” He glanced at you speculatively.
“I’m sure, you worry wart. Plus, if he is you know I can handle myself.” You bumped elbows with him and he rolled his eyes.
“Okay, okay fine. Just wanna look out for my girl.” He winked down at you and you scoffed. Always the biggest flirt, this guy. “What’s this guy’s name again? I think I tuned you out when you said it before.” He said nonchalantly.
“Yah!” You weakly smacked him on the arm, making him dramatically hold onto it as if you had shot him. “It’s Bang Chan, you pabo!” He immediately halted in his tracks, making you stop as well to raise an eyebrow at him. “Jin? Did you malfunction?” You shook his arm with a chuckle.
He stared down at you in disbelief. “Did you say Bang Chan?” He sounded as if you just told him that you were the Queen of England and you giggled.
“Uhhh yeah? He also goes by Chris. Why? Wait–” Your tone quickly changed into one of exasperation. “Hyunjin, please don’t tell me you went to a fortune teller again. Did they ward you away from any ‘Bang’ family names or something? I told you to stop going after what happened last time!” You scolded, memory flashing back to when he only wore white 24/7 because it was ‘guaranteed to bring him great wealth’. You had to help him with his laundry for weeks because he couldn’t stop getting stains on everything he wore.
“No, no, no. What does this guy look like?” He looked almost panicked now and you started to become concerned.
“Ummm, well… He’s a bit shorter than you. Super muscular with broad shoulders. A super bright smile and dimples that I just want to swim in…” You started to sound wistful as you described the dreamy beefcake. “Oh and don’t even get me started on his di–”
“Oh god, Aegiya, STOP.” The man sounded disgusted and you doubled over laughing. You were only a year younger than him and he just had to milk it by always calling you a baby.
“Dude, what’s the deal?” You finally wondered.
He huffed and continued walking, annoyance written all over his features as he stared straight forward. “Well, apparently it appears that your new boy toy also happens to be the new roommate I got last week…” He grumbled and now it was time for you to stop in your tracks.
“What??” To say the least, you were pretty surprised.
He just continued to walk and you scurried over to catch up to him. “Yyyyep. Congrats. I now get to help you plan for your date with my fucking roommate.” He sounded super put out and you cackled at him.
“Are you fucking kidding me?! That’s fucking hilarious!” After a moment of your chortling, your brain cut you off short when you felt a lightbulb blink to life. “Oh my god, Jinnie! You have to tell me about him! Do you think he’s into more of a wild girl, or a shy one? Does he cook? Clean? What kind of music does he–”
“Hey little lady, you probably know more about him than I do. Like I said, he just recently moved in.” You gave him puppy dog eyes and he glanced over at you momentarily, quickly looking straight forward again with a disbelieving huff. “All I can tell you is that he produces music, he constantly works on it day in and day out as if his life depends on it. I’m surprised he even found the time to date.”
You smiled to yourself. He made time for me? As if fate had heard your conversation, the two of you started getting nearer to the perfect store. “Let’s go in here, Jinnie!” You grabbed his arm to pull him in, but he was as firm as a statue.
“Nuh-uh. Nooo way am I going into a sex shop with you to help you bone my fucking roommate. You’re nuts.” He looked at you as if you had grown two heads.
“Awww c’mon, Jinnie, pleeease? I need the male objective’s eye! I don’t want to go in alone!” You grabbed onto his hand and looped your fingers to intertwine with his. “Please…” You donned your cutest pout and squeezed his hand.
His brows furrowed and he looked like he was having a genuine internal battle. “Damnit, Aegiya…” He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. “You’d better make this quick. AND you owe me a shit ton of ice cream after this…”
A smile burst out across your face and you threw your arms around his shoulders, giggling like a school girl. “Ahhh! Thankyouthankyouthankyou, Jinnie! This is why I love you!” When you pulled back from the embrace, he looked annoyed, but you could definitely see a rosy color dusted across his cheeks and a deep red bloom on the tips of his ears.
You intertwined fingers again and dragged him into the store.
You felt like a kid in a candy store, finding set after set of lingerie and handing it to Hyunjin to hold onto. “Okay, I think we’ve accumulated enough, little Miss Pamela Anderson!” He shouted at you from behind the pile he had stacked in his arms.
You giggled at his drowning appearance and led him to the changing rooms where you sat him down on the bench just outside the door. “Wait here, I’m gonna try them on!” You grabbed the first set from his arms and skipped off to try it on.
You struggled a bit on the first one just because it was so intricate, but you ended up figuring it out. It had crossed your mind that it might feel a bit weird for some girls to show their male best friend themselves wearing lingerie, but, again, you were just so comfortable with Hyunjin that you didn’t think twice.
“Jin, I think this might be a bit much, what do you think?” You said as you opened the door to show him.
At first, he wasn’t really paying attention, just mindlessly scrolling away on his phone. However, when he looked up, the phone clattered to the ground, which he quickly retrieved while clearing his throat for some reason. “Uh– I– Um, it looks– uh… good? I guess?” He said, desperately avoiding eye contact with you.
“Yeah, but look–” You turned around to show him the backside that looked like a damned jungle of straps, buckles, and latches. “Doesn’t this seem too complicated?” When you looked at him again, his whole head and neck were a deep crimson as he zoned out on your ass. “Jinnie?”
He quickly snapped out of it and his eyes darted anywhere and everywhere away from you. “U-Uh yeah– y-yeah…” 
You figured you didn’t want it to be too hard to get out of because that’s just not sexy if you have to struggle in the moment. You just shrugged. “Okay, then. Next!” You grabbed the next piece off the pile and shut yourself back into the changing room.
You repeated this several times, you put on the next set after the next set, continuing to ask Hyunjin for his input until you slipped on the final piece.
It was perfect. A completely black (which you knew Chris liked) bustier with mesh, lace fabric woven over the spines of the top. Complete with a garter belt and crotchless panties. All you needed were some stockings and it would be perfect.
However, you obviously couldn’t show these to Hyunjin, they were crotchless! And contrary to popular belief, you did have some standards. Anyway, you knew it was perfect with or without his opinion.
You quickly changed back into your clothes and stepped out, items in hand and ready to be purchased. “This is the one! Ready to go?”
Instead of a grumble with a remark like ‘finally’ or something equally as chafing coming from his mouth, you were surprised to hear him say– “What? That’s it? But you didn’t…” He stopped mid-sentence and blushed.
“I couldn’t show you this one, Jin. It was a bit much, even for you. But, trust me, you would have loved it.” You said enthusiastically as you walked to the checkout counter.
He just simply replied with– “Oh… okay…” And was suspiciously silent for the rest of the day.
- - - - - - - - - - 
Jinnie 🥟🍦:
Ur date is tonight right?
Aegiya ❣🎨:
?Yeah, why
?Omg did he say something
?Did he ask u abt me
?He’s not calling it off is he
As much as Hyunjin wanted to lie and say yes, he wouldn’t do that to you.
Jinnie 🥟🍦:
No no, I was just checking
Was thinking about going out tonight too
(He wasn’t)
Jinnie 🥟🍦:
Ya know, give u guys privacy
Aegiya ❣🎨:
Ur such a sweetheart, Jinnie
But I don’t want to kick u out of ur own home
We will probably go back to my place anyway
The thought gave Hyunjin a knot in the back of his throat.
Jinnie 🥟🍦:
Oh ok cool
Have fun
(He hoped you wouldn’t)
Aegiya ❣🎨:
😉 Will do
He grumbled at his phone and flopped onto his back on the bed. Ever since he met you, he knew you were special. However, since you were coworkers, apparently that meant he had a big ole ‘FRIENDZONE’ stamped on his forehead in red and he would never make it any further than #besties.
But it was fine. He was just happy to have you in his life because you were, in fact, a really cool person.
You had dated a few people here and there in the years since you two became friends and he obviously wasn’t a fan, but he was happy any time you were happy, so he stayed silent.
However, when he found out that you were going to date his freshly new roommate, he started to get a bit more agitated. What if you two really hit it off? Yes, you would be around a lot, but would you still come around for him? Or would you only want to come to see Chris? Not to mention the fact that he would have to listen to the man fucking you just down the hall!
Okay, maybe the idea of being within such proximity to you while you were moaning and whining and getting fucked silly might be a turn-on… even if it wasn’t him making you feel that way…
Ever since you took him shopping, it was like his horniness was amplified by ten and his mind was on a constant loop of images of you in that lingerie. Whatever caused you to feel the need to model them to Hyunjin, he didn’t know, but now the godforsaken thoughts plagued him day and night! 
Sometimes he even got a little pissed, thinking you were just stringing him along to tease him, but he would quickly come to his senses because in his heart he knew that you loved him. Even if it was just as a friend.
A knock on Hyunjin’s door disturbed him from his thoughts. Of course, the man of the hour would show up right in the middle of his very important brooding session. “Come in!” He shouted to his roommate.
The door opened and he was greeted with the bright smile of that damned Aussie. Hyunjin couldn’t even hate him and that pissed him off even more. Chris was just such a genuinely good guy. He could literally befriend anyone he wanted and he was super talented too. Hyunjin never had any self-esteem issues, he knew he was gorgeous, but the fact that Chris was the one to snatch you kind of hurt his pride.
“Hey, roomie! Whatcha doin?” He plopped down next to the younger on his bed.
“Just thinking of where I should go tonight. I’m not really interested in hearing…” The words were left unsaid, but Chris understood right away. 
Chris was pretty surprised when you told him that Hyunjin was your best friend, but he was also kind of happy that you were already so tight with his new roommate.
Although, when Chris talked to Hyunjin about the topic, he noticed that the taller man became a bit sullen any time your name was brought up. Chris could instantly tell that Hyunjin was in love with you.
He thought he should have maybe been pissed or concerned, but he wasn’t. He moreso felt sympathy for the young man. Yes, Chris was also incredibly smitten with you, but that only made him feel more sorry for the younger. Because he knew the effect you had on both of them.
He placed a gentle hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder. “Hey, man, listen,” Chris said apologetically. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you like her. I’m not blind.”
Hyunjin shot up into a seated position. “W-what are you talking about? I’m not into her like that at all!” He himself knew he didn’t sound believable. “We’re just friends…”
Chris just sighed. “Okay, sure, but the statement still stands. You don’t have to leave our place on account of me. Me and her can go back to her place after.” Chris gnawed on his lip as if he was contemplating something and Hyunjin was intrigued. “Or…” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “We could still come over with you here…”
Hyunjin couldn’t lie to himself, he always wanted to hear what you would sound like in bed, but it just felt… wrong? “I dunno hyung… I don’t want to spoil your guys’ date.” Although it pained him to say it.
“Well that’s the thing, I don’t think you would.” Chris countered and Hyunjin just looked at him quizzically. “Okay, let me explain. So she told you we met on Tinder, right?” Hyunjin slowly nodded, not sure where he was going with this. “Well, we really started off talking about our… sexual preferences–” Hyunjin was certainly intrigued now. “And she had mentioned once that she always wanted to try a threesome…”
Hyunjin’s jaw dropped. “Oh…” He didn’t know what else to say. Where was Chris heading with this?
“Take it however you like, but just know that if you just so happened to be home and just so happened to walk in on us… I don’t think she would be opposed to some… company… if you get what I mean.” Chris hinted and Hyunjin was frozen on the spot.
“And you want that??” Hyunjin was flabbergasted.
Chris chuckled. “I mean, I know what it’s like to be friendzoned by a girl and I also know what it’s like to have bad blood between roommates. And I don’t want either of those things, so why not let her decide?” Chris was genuinely too good to be true. “And don’t think I don’t want her to myself, because, trust me, I do. But you are an important part of her life. It’s best that she knows how you feel before things get too serious.”
Hyunjin didn’t even know how to respond. Hell, he didn’t know how to think in that exact moment. All he could register was the word that came from his mouth. “Okay…”
- - - - - - - - - - 
Chris was a perfect gentleman, through and through. The dinner he took you to was delicious beyond reason and the conversations he led were the most engaging that you had ever experienced. Everything just felt so easy with him. Plus, the chemistry between the two of you was off the charts.
Small touches and lingering hands left you buzzing with need and you found yourself having a hard time keeping your hands to yourself. The only odd thing, not unwelcome, just odd, was the fact that he kept bringing up the topic of your best friend the whole night.
He wanted your opinion of him and what you thought of him. Some people might have thought it was out of jealousy, but he didn’t really give off the jealous vibe. He seemed to genuinely want to know what your relationship was like. And you loved your best friend, so you were happy enough to discuss him.
By the end of dinner, the sexual tension was suffocating and you just wanted to rip his clothes off then and there. When you hopped into the car and he started driving, you felt yourself shaking with anticipation when he rested his hand on your bare thigh where your little black dress was too short to cover.
You were super impatient to get back to your place, but as he kept driving, you realized he wasn’t heading in the direction of your apartment where he picked you up. “Hey Chris, do you know the way back to my place?” You turned to look at him to find him blushing. God, he’s cute.
He cleared his throat. “Well, I um… I was wondering if I could take you back to mine? I’m sorry it was a bit presumptuous of me, but I have a surprise for you…”
Electricity shot through you and you didn’t think twice to consider what you told Hyunjin. “Not presumptuous at all! I’m…” You blushed when he glanced at you with his stupidly sexy half-grin. “...looking forward to it.” Your eyes were glued to his face and you squeezed your thighs in arousal when he slid his hand a bit further up your thigh.
He looked over at you just as you bit your lip, your eyes hazy with lust. He bit his own lip to suppress a smile when he looked back at the road and you felt his hand slide to your inner thigh as his fingers closed in on your crotchless panties. Never touching, just teasing.
- - - - - - - - - - 
When you arrived at his and Hyunjin’s apartment, everything happened in a blur. As the front door closed behind you, you felt Chris’ hands wrap around your waist from behind and a warm press of lips close in on your neck. 
Chris was intoxicating, everything about him made you dizzy with want and you quickly spun around in his arms, throwing your arms around his neck and smashing into his lips with your own. He instantly pressed you up against the wall and you arched up into him, silently begging for more. His arms were wrapped low around your waist to pull you suffocatingly close and you kicked your black heels off when you wrapped your legs around his waist.
He responded by holding you up underneath your dress by both ass cheeks and he pressed his slowly hardening dick against you as he moved to devour your neck. He grinded into you and you threw your head back as far as the wall would allow you as you moaned his name.
“Fuck, you’re so gorgeous.” He growled into your neck as he kneaded your ass with his fingertips. 
All you could reply with was– “Ngh, fuck, Chris. More. I need more...” Your voice was whiny and already fucked out, but by the low groan he breathed into your neck, he was very much in a similar state.
He pulled you back from the wall and carried you down the hall to his bedroom where he eagerly plopped both of you down on the bed. You writhed underneath him, trying to pull him impossibly closer as he moved to grope your breasts over your dress. You whined and pleaded for more and he complied.
He released one of your breasts and slid his hand down between your legs. What he felt (or really the lack of what he felt) made him gasp and look down at you incredulously. The crotchless panties were definitely a good choice. “Fuck…” He pounced on you with one long, hungry kiss and then released you to crawl down between your legs. 
The moment you felt his mouth close around your clit, you saw stars. You cried out with labored breaths and it took him no time at all to push you over the edge. You curled your fingers in his dark brown locks and he guided you through your orgasm, head popping up with a breathtaking smile when you came down. “Holy shit, Chris… that was probably the fastest anyone has ever got me to cum.” You giggled and you internally cooed when he blushed at the statement.
However, that was short-lived as the sex-god side of Chris returned and he ripped off his shirt and slacks, leaving him in just his boxers as he nestled back down to sit against the headboard. “C’mere, baby girl.” He patted his lap and you quickly crawled over to straddle him. His hands instantly flew to your hips and ass where your dress rode up.
Now was the moment you had been waiting for. You decided to cut to the chase and you grabbed the hem of your dress and slowly pulled it up over your head. When the fabric that was blinding you was finally pulled from your face, Chris’ expression was almost humorous. You felt his fingers gradually tighten more and more on your ass as he assessed your undergarments.
His face looked like he was in some sort of trance of crazed hunger and when he looked back into your eyes, you saw pure carnal desire. “What do you think? I got it just for you, Chris.” You said with hooded eyelids that ate up every inch of skin he had on display.
“What do I think?” His voice must have dropped about ten octaves and he harshly pulled you to directly sit on his achingly hard cock through his boxers. “I think you're a motherfucking goddess.”
He then proceeded to capture your lips once more in an absolutely filthy kiss, tongues clashing and teeth gnawing. You started grinding on his dick and he growled into your mouth, pulling away moments after you started.
“Do you want your surprise, baby girl?” He said as he guided your grinding hips with his hands. You were so fucked out that all you could do was nod your head profusely. He then turned to look at the door you had left open behind you. “Hyunjin-ah, would you like to come in?”
You immediately stilled and whipped your head around. You felt the hands on your hips tighten. “Jinnie?!” You were shocked. How long had he been watching??? By the completely beet-red face and the huge bulge in his pants, you would say it had been more than just a few moments.
You heard a shushing from the man underneath you and you turned back to him. He looked deep into your eyes and you felt him slowly glide his thumb over your sopping clit, making you gasp and your eyelids flutter. “I asked Hyunjinnie to help bring your fantasy to life.” You instantly knew he was talking about the threesome you had hinted at one time. “And he was more than willing to help out.”
You slowly turned back to your best friend that had taken a few steps further into the room. “Is that true, Jinnie?” You were mostly worried about his own comfort. 
He nodded with a hazy stare. “It’s not exactly how I pictured it happening… but yeah…” What did he mean by that? 
You didn’t have much time to think on it, however, because you suddenly felt Chris easing a finger inside you. You gasped and whipped back around to face him, your hands flying to his broad shoulders to ground yourself. 
“Do you mind if he watches while I fuck your pretty little hole first?” Your mouth was perpetually hung open as you nodded in compliance. “Good girl, now get on all fours, gorgeous.” He pulled his finger out of you and, before you did as you were told, you grabbed Chris’ hand and took his spunk-covered finger into your mouth. Both men groaned at the sight and you weren't ashamed to admit that you were feeling pretty proud of yourself. 
Once you released his digit and you turned to do what you were commanded to, you looked straight into Hyunjin’s eyes and crawled to where he was standing at the foot of the bed. Without warning, you grabbed him by his belt loops and pulled him flush to you where you stood on your knees on the bed. You could feel his erection push into your stomach and you felt a new wave of arousal stir in your core.
“We can talk about this later, but right now, I want this…” You deftly undid the top button of his shirt. “...and these…” You moved a hand down and palmed at his hard-on, making him gasp, then popped open the button on his jeans as well. You stretched up and brought his head down so you could whisper in his ear. “...gone.”
When you released him with a wicked smile and resumed your position on all fours like you were asked, Hyunjin quickly got to work on your request.
You suddenly felt a hand gently wrap around your neck to pull you up and back flush against Chris, his now bare cock resting between the cleft of your ass cheeks. “You think you can take all of me, sweetie?” He said as he grabbed your wrist with his free hand and lead you to feel his sizable dick. You almost choked on your gasp. Now, you knew Chris had a huge cock, you both had sent each other plenty of nudes these past weeks, but to feel it in your hand, it just didn’t feel real.
You tried to turn to look at it, but his hand on your neck kept you still and you whimpered. “Now, you have some options, baby girl. Either you take all of me now without seeing it first–” To be honest, that sounded pretty hot, but you were also dying to take a peek. “...OR, you can look all you want, but I’ll get off in that sweet mouth of yours instead while Hyunjinnie does whatever he wants with your tasty little cunt.”
You couldn’t control the pornographic moan that escaped your lips from the pure filth coming from his lips. You could see Hyunjin start to form a slight grin from watching this unfold and that in itself had you shaking with want. “B-but what if I want both?”
You could feel the rumble against your back coming from the depths of Chris’ chest from the question. “A greedy little one, are we?” You then felt yourself abruptly being pushed face-first into the mattress with your ass in the air. “Then I guess we’ll just have to give you all we’ve got…” Chris growled as you heard the tear of a condom wrapper open.
“J-just–!” You looked up at Hyunjin, as best as you could from your squished position, from his rushed outburst. “Just… don’t hurt her…” He sounded a bit hesitant to say it, but he looked down into your eyes with pure concern. Your heart soared.
“Jinnie…” You held up your hand and he crouched down next to your face. You crooked your neck up to whisper directly into his ear, loud enough for Chris to hear. “I want you to hurt me…”
He pulled back incredulously and his shocked eyes bore into yours. “Holy fuck, can you be any more perfect?”
“I know, right?” Chris said with a chuckle.
Everything that happened next all happened simultaneously. You felt Chris shimmying behind you and felt his warm breath fan over your folds. You felt him lick a long, fat stripe up your opening then felt him shimmy again to get into position. You felt the tip of his cock wedge its way into your entrance and you saw Hyunjin step back and finally drop his boxers to the floor.
Your. Jaw. Dropped.
Not only from the breathtaking feeling of Chris’ dick splitting you in two, but also at the mesmerizing sight of Hwang Hyunjin stripped bare with his beautiful, leaking cock in his hand. “Like what you see, Aegiya?” All you could do was nod dumbly with a red face that was struggling to adjust to Chris’ size.
You needed a distraction from the pain. You pulled yourself up on your hands and reached out to Hyunjin. “Wanna taste…” You whined pitifully.
He cockily smirked with his tongue prodding at his lip. “Anytime, baby.” You felt fire in your veins from his words and you felt in desperate need for more stimulation.
Just as you grabbed ahold of Hyunjin’s gorgeous cock, you pushed your ass back into Chris, shoving him even deeper inside you and the three of you moaned simultaneously.
You quickly started lapping up all of the precum that coated Hyunjin’s tip and he slowly tangled his hands in your hair. “You taste so good, Jinnie.” You said with fluttered lashes, right before you took his head all the way in.
“Fuck, Aegiya. You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this…” That one statement blew your mind and you instantly looked back on your entire relationship. Hyunjin wanted me?
Again, you couldn’t think on it long, because Chris suddenly decided to start pistoning fast and hard into you, shoving you down onto Hyunjin’s cock even further. You held back your gag reflex and allowed yourself to bask in the eroticism of being used by these fucking drop-dead gorgeous men.
“Goddamn, baby girl. You’re doing so *ngh* fucking good for us *huff* …taking all this cock so fucking well.” Chris growled as he nailed you over and over again in all the right places. 
“Shit, Aegi. You’re so fucking sexy with your mouth around me *hiss* fuuuck you’re so damn good at that!” Hyunjin threw his head back with a laugh and it was one of the most beautiful sights you had ever seen. “I can’t wait to taste you, baby.”
That’s what threw you over the edge, screaming as loud as you were able to with a throat full of cock. They both seemed to slow down as you rode your orgasm, but they were definitely not done with you yet.
Once you seemed to have come down from your high, Hyunjin spoke up. “Hyung…” There seemed to be some sort of silent communication going on because before you knew it, you were completely empty on both ends.
You slumped down on the mattress, your intense orgasm seemingly having taken the life out of you. Your eyes fluttered shut while you tried to regain control of your breathing and you felt someone sweetly petting your hair. “Did we wear you out for the night? Sorry, Aegiya…” Your eyes snapped open to see Hyunjin knelt down next to your head at the foot of the bed.
“N-no!” You grabbed onto his hand, pleadingly. “Not done! Need more… use me…” You were suddenly too cockdumb to form complete sentences, but what you did say made both men curse in tandem. Hyunjin smirked and quickly stood up.
The men grabbed each end of you and flipped you onto your back. Your vision was blurry with lust, but you could still clearly see that Chris had removed his condom and Hyunjin donned one now instead.
With one sharp tug, Hyunjin pulled you into position where his face hovered over your folds. You looked down at him right as he placed those plump lips against your throbbing clit in a torturous kiss. You whined at the damned tease and he smiled against your skin. 
He then went from zero to sixty in the blink of an eye.
He began to you out as if his life depended on it and his long tongue reached even further inside you than you thought was possible. Your head craned back as you belted out a silent cry of pleasure. However, Chris used your open mouth to his advantage as he positioned himself at the foot of the bed and you finally caught a glimpse of his dick coming straight toward your mouth.
And HOLY FUCK was the man packing, or what?
There was no way in hell you were going to be able to deepthroat that monster! Yet you took him in your mouth nonetheless. You knew you still had a wicked tongue when it came to giving head. “Shit, baby girl. Your mouth really is magic.” Chris groaned.
You felt pride fill your smug little bubble, but you were soon preoccupied with your next orgasm rapidly approaching from the skilled tongue of Hyunjin. You whimpered on Chris’ massive cock and he moaned from the vibrations. Your orgasm was just as powerful as the last as you released all over your best friend’s face.
You heard a long hum come from the man between your legs. “You taste so good, Aegiya.” Hyunjin said once you were finished and he kissed his way up your body, only to stop to suck each nipple at a time into his mouth. Chris had started fucking your face shallowly and he was able to get painfully deep from this position. 
As you felt Hyunjin move up to suck on your neck, you felt his cock start to prod at your entrance. You were more eager than you thought you should be to feel him inside you, but when he absolutely slammed into you, you almost choked. Hyunjin was waaay longer than Chris and he reached spots inside you that no man had ever reached before.
You whimpered on Chris’ cock and you felt him start to stutter in his rhythm. “Fuck… M’cummin…” Sure enough, after a few more pumps, you felt hot ropes of his seed hit the back of your throat. You always had this really sick pleasure of cum eating and he thankfully spared you none.
More and more kept coming, and just when you didn’t think you could fit anymore, he finally finished and pulled out. You closed your eyes and hummed in bliss, sloshing the thick fluid around in your mouth before savoring every gulp to emptiness. You had realized that Hyunjin had stopped moving and you opened your eyes, offended that he would rob you of that delicious sensation he was giving you.
Yet when you opened your eyes, you found both men staring at you with shock on their faces. “Fuck, that’s gotta be the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen…” Chris said with heavy breaths as he, too, was coming down from his high.
“Nasty, baby.” Hyunjin said with a smirk as he lowered himself down to hover just above your face. He looked apprehensive for a moment, seemingly searching your eyes as he slowly rocked into you with a steady rhythm and quick glances at your panting lips.
You decided to cut to the chase and you wrapped all your limbs around him, crashing him fully down onto your body and connecting your moistened lips. 
Well shit. Why did he have to be an amazing kisser too?
His pace picked up along with the hunger in his kiss and you were suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling of having your best friend fuck you senseless.
Although Hyunjin’s dick was beating your cervix to a pulp, the pain led you to yet another climax that you didn’t even think was possible. He pulled back and brought his hand up to thumb at your lips. “Get this wet for me, pretty?” You instantly sucked his finger in and his heavy-breathing, open mouth formed the sexiest fucking smile you had seen on him yet.
He retrieved the dripping digit and brought it down to your over-sensitive clit, almost instantly pushing you over the edge. Without further ado, Hyunjin also climaxed and he came with your name on his lips. Holy shit, you just fucked your best friend…
Things were hazy after he pulled out. 
First, you felt two pairs of hands strip you out of the uncomfortable lingerie and begin to wipe you down.
Next, you were easily repositioned under the covers to rest your head on a comfy pillow with the softest sheets you had ever felt. 
After that, things got quiet. You didn’t know why… but you suddenly felt… lonely.
You felt a kiss on your forehead and that’s when you forced your eyes open. You caught his hand as the man started to retreat. “Jinnie?” He returned to you with a sad smile.
“Yes? What is it, Aegiya?” You squeezed his hand tighter.
“Stay? Please?” He looked startled and he glanced at the man that had evidently crawled under the covers with you. You turned to Chris’ confused face and looped your other arm around his strong bicep. “Both of you?” You knew this would probably be weird in normal circumstances and you would have to address your feelings in the morning, but right now you just wanted to snuggle up to both of the men you adore inside and out. And, thankfully, they seemed to agree.
The rest is tomorrow’s problem.
__________________________________________
If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading!
This one is a spicy match!! Tbh I have no clue if I would be able to choose between the two... 😳
Please like, follow, and share! Thanks baby stays! 😘
2chopsticks2eyes - Masterlist
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whiskeyghoul · 8 months
Text
All tied up || [Spencer Reid X f!reader] Pt.1
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First time posting a fic here.
The idea of Spencer remembering all the shibari knots from a book gave me the incredible urge to start writing. This is part one and mostly setting up to part two where all the spicy stuff will happen.
Tags: Shibari, eventual smut, consent, (idk I am bad at tagging)
Part two
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"I actually heard it can be very therapeutic." Spencer Reid stood next to you as you were bent over a case file. The unsub would tie their victims up in intricate red rope, displaying them like a piece of artwork. Suspended in mid air their bodies hung from ceilings. You had made a comment under your breath as you watched the detail in the knots, nothing of interest. Either they'd been strung up post mortem, which seemed unlikely with the way their bodies were contorted. Or while the victim was alive and cooperating. Meaning the victims trusted the unsub.
You knew of shibari, had seen it once when you had stumbled upon it while researching a sexclub where a suspected unsub was picking his victims. It piqued your interest, seeing the knots tied carefully with enough slack to allow fingers to slip past the rope. The shapes accentuating the women's bodies, looks of content on their faces. You had quickly squashed the thought at the time. Not wanting to address your new found interest in the slightest. Hoping that if you didn't think about it it would go away. Unfortunately that hadn't been the case. You'd managed to find pictures of the beautiful rope designs people created and it only fed the flame growing inside you. But when Spencer made that comment as he looked over your shoulder. Something stirred inside. Like he knew what you'd been thinking about.
"I don't think they found this very therapeutic." You retorted, eyes focused on the paper again. If they hadn't been crime scene photos they could have been beautiful. Spencer placed one hand on the desk, the other on the back of your chair as he leaned over. The heat of his body radiating off of him. You kept your eyes on the papers, not daring to look up at your workplace crush. Who, in all his genius, was the most clueless person you'd met. "Right, I don't think they did. Still, it's interesting to see the great care the unsub took to present them this way. It’s like a piece of art, he takes pride in his work." Spencer commented, saying the words you'd just been thinking. "It could have been beautiful if not for the murder." you said a bit solemnly, not thinking about your words, still trying to figure out whether the unsub tied them up post mortem or not. Absentmindedly tracing your fingers over the ropes in one picture.
"Would you ever want to try it?" Spencer suddenly asked. Your head whipped around in surprise, staring at the man who was looking down at you. He was gauging your reaction, which now that you realize it, was way too obvious. He'd probably already caught on to the fact you'd been interested in shibari from the case before. A damn good profiler even if he was clueless about your feelings for him. "W-what? No, of course not." You lied, feeling heat creep up your neck as you averted your eyes from him. “Why would you say that?” You asked in turn, knowing he’d already caught you in your lie. “Just the way you said it could have been beautiful. I’ve read a book on it once…” The way Spencer said it was suggestive, knowing what he meant once he said he read a book on it once. He remembers it all, the knots, the ties. He was offering to help you get it out of your system. The way he trailed off made it non committal, it wasn’t a full offer but it was up in the air. If you wanted to go in on it he wouldn’t judge. “You have? Are you interested?” Your voice was low, barely above a whisper because you were still in the bullpen. Colleagues and teammates are still around to hear if you spoke too loudly. “We have Saturday off.” Spencer spoke, it wasn’t an answer but an invite. “We do.” You agreed, and that was it. “You could come over.” Spencer said, there was something in his voice. It was low and smooth. “I can. At 2?” You added before daring to look up at him again, he nodded his head with a slight smile. There was a flush on his face. “I’ll see you then.” He added, pushing himself off the table and returning to his own desk, your eyes following until he sat down.
Your mind was jumbled with thoughts about what could happen when you get to his place. Mentally you were still trying to grapple with the fact that he had invited you, but standing on the doorstep had been quite the wake up. You rang his doorbell and Spencer buzzed you in. You walked to the elevator, pressing the button and stepping inside to head to the second floor. Stepping out and walking past the other doors until you reached his front door. A deep breath. You raised your hand, a timid knock on the door that was opened just a second too quickly. Like he had been waiting for you. “Hey.” Spencer breathed out the word, a slight smile on his lips as he stared at you. You could feel your cheeks start to heat under his gaze. “Come in.” Spencer said as he stepped out of the way, letting you pass into his apartment. “Thanks.” You said as you observed your surroundings. You’d been in his apartment once before. It was lived in, slightly cluttered and warm. It smelled of books and coffee, some of his vices. His large leather couch was put to the side and the middle of his living room was currently a large open space. He’d prepared this. You swallowed thickly, knowing he’d taken care to get it all ready made you excited, a fluttering feeling settling in your stomach. The small bag you had taken with you was placed down next to the coat rack. Your jacket was slipped off your shoulders by Spencer, the motion making you look over your shoulder at him. He gave you a reassuring smile, warming your heart and soothing your nerves. “Do you want something to drink first?” He asked as he hung your coat away. “No, thank you.” You replied, wanting to get to it rather than stall. It would make you nervous again to wait. Wanting to get started almost immediately. “Alright, then let’s get started?” Spencer asked it, maybe to have clear confirmation that this was what you wanted. He fidgeted slightly, perhaps as nervous as you had been before. You nodded your head, the action seeming to calm Spencer slightly, his hands stopping from fidgeting. Instead grabbing the red rope that was laid out on a side table, pushed to the wall this time.
“How do we start?” You asked, having prepared by wearing a pair of soft shorts and a tank top. Spencer turned back to you, taking two strides before he was right in front of you again. Something in his eyes had changed from before. “Strip.” His tone was different, making a shiver run down your spine.
This was going to be interesting.
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