#even gojo couldn’t do that how can others accomplish it?????? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bakugoushotwife · 10 months

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OMG GIRL

i just got a brilliant idea,

ok so roommate gojo finds reader in only a shirt (his shirt btw ;)) and underwear

and then things just get absolutely dirty

i hope you like this idea just as much as i do!!!

thanks so much 🫶🏻

a/n: god i wanna kiss u on the mouth for these sometimes. this has been in the forefront of my mind for days!!! it went a little off the rails babe ngl

cw: pervy gojo, yandere-esque gojo, he's obssessed and delulu. unprotected sex, facefucking, fingering and oral (fem receiving), mating press, breeding, daddy, pet names, mean-ish roommate gojo, size kink, panty stealing, uh lemme know if i missed anything. will go back and edit!

wc: 4.5k

Lucky Day (Satoru Gojo x fem!reader)

This apartment was so shitty, and your landlord was even worse. Your roommate was at work, so there really was no other option. The pipes on the washer bursted, spraying the outfit you had on and making sure you couldn’t wash anymore. It was a miracle that you managed to turn the water to the washing machine off, you felt like a goddamn plumber from that alone. You even accomplished ordering a new pipe, only problem being it wouldn’t arrive for three more days.

With a heavy sigh, you peel off your soaked crop top and sling it in your hamper, sliding off your shorts and underwear as well, truly unlucky. The only mercy shining upon you at this point was being home alone as you sprint to your room naked. You can only imagine the endless teasing that you would receive if Satoru was here.

You grumble about your misfortune under your breath, pilfering through your drawers to find a new outfit to put on. Of course, you would be so unlucky yet again. You look up to the gods with narrowed eyes, as if this was personal. Really, it’s your own fault, damn the procrastination tendency you struggled with. You just had random pairs of socks and a Christmas themed onesie. You were honestly grateful to locate a red lace thong that was venturing closer to the shoelace side of size. You tug the poor excuse for underwear up your thighs, letting them slap against your hips in frustration. You had to put something on, your roommate was a huge tease, the gorgeous motherfucker. It was highly annoying, though you imagine if you were so unnervingly beautiful you may act the same way. In any event, walking around topless was not an option. You can practically hear the sarcastic whip of his voice dripping off his tongue right now.

“Oh-ho-ho, did I come home or did I walk into a titty bar?”

“And you swear you don’t want me, sweetheart?”

“Aw, how did you know I had a bad day?”

Each line makes you shiver. He was impossible to deal with, but he kept the rent low. As much as you hate to admit it he was nice to look at too, though you were hell bent on keeping that to yourself. He knew it anyway, there was no need to inflate his already massive ego. Why would you tell him? It would just be embarrassing, especially with his naturally outgoing nature. He would rip you apart if you admitted how you may actually feel about your snarky counterpart. You were nothing special to look at anyway, it would be silly to get your hopes up. Maybe he was annoying, but parts of you enjoyed him pestering you all hours of the day and scaring any potential suitors away.

You would definitely never hear the end of it if you didn’t cover up soon, the clock ticking closer and closer to his typical arrival time. You groan. The only solution was putting on something of his. This route would still produce plenty of jabs, but at least you could potentially explain what had happened. You dart across the hall to his room, yanking open his drawers. You’ve been in his room several times, but it’s always slightly surprising each time. He’s cleaner than you’d think, and the room is decorated very minimally. You rummage through his dresser, finally locating a black tee. You’ve seen this one on him before, and it fits him like a second layer of skin, but you’re around a foot shorter, so it should serve to cover your chest comfortably. You tug it over your head, humming in satisfaction. It falls just above your knees, more dress than shirt. You sigh once more at the outfit pairing, but you return to your room all the same. You decide to curl up with a book until your nuisance comes home, after texting to see if Shoko would let you come over to wash some clothes.

“Honeyyyy I’m homeeeee.” Satoru sings, keys jingling as he comes through the door of the humble abode. He scrunches his nose, smelling the metallic tinge to the air, so he goes to check out the laundry room. It’s a mess of towels attempting to soak up the flood of water, every piece of fabric in the vicinity was soaked. He clicks his tongue. Luckily the water had been turned off, but Gojo wondered to himself if a maintenance man came in to rescue you, knowing you can hardly turn on the gas stove yourself. He can’t help but be a little jealous, no—overprotective. You were such a delicious little thing, and he can’t stand to see you get ogled by men less than deserving. You won’t give him the time of day, though he’s most certainly the only man deserving of ogling you. He hums at the scene, deciding he should go and ask what happened, that way he could figure out if that pervy handyman needed his eyes gouged out.

He marches to your room and pushes the door open. “So–the pipe on the wa—”

He froze. He’s greeted with the sight of you stretched out on top of your comforter, one long leg folded delicately over the other, until his t-shirt covered the rest of you from the knee up. It dwarfed you, made him painfully aware how much smaller you were. So tiny compared to someone so tall and strong as him. Yet you swear he’s the tease. He bites his lip, shamelessly pulling his dark lenses down his nose, crystal clear eyes peeking over the frames to memorize everything about you. You sat with your back straight against the headboard, small hands clutching a thick book.

“Am I dreaming, or are you laying there in my shirt and nothing else?” He grinned, propping an arm up on the doorway. He doesn’t miss the way you squirm under his lazer focus.

You feel your body heat up. You even had prep time, yet you still didn’t know exactly what to say. You swallow thickly. “I have panties on. I had nothing to put on! The pipe burst on the washer and soaked me–”

“Oh I’ll get you soaked babe–”

“Satoru!” You yelp, slamming your book closed with a loud clap. He just snorts at your embarrassment, half-lidded eyes still scanning over you to make his desire known. You can’t count the amount of times that your roomie has openly flirted with you, but it shocked you each time.

“Y/N!” He mocked, rolling his eyes. He pushes himself off the frame and gets to the edge of your bed within a few strides. He plops down uninvited, staring at you almost as if he’s challenging you. He rests his hand on your calf, and you just stare at the point of contact with a raised brow. The man is awfully comfortable putting his hands on you, though that’s because you’ve been his since the day you moved in, in his mind. All this banter is just him being sweet and romantic. He sighs. “Let’s get real, hm? You look irresistible in my clothes, my mouth is watering over here, princess. I want ya. So stop acting like you don’t want me.”

You watch as his tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip, his foot anxiously tapping on the ground. He’s holding back demons here, and he doesn't know how much longer he can keep himself together. It felt like the room got twenty degrees warmer, electricity brewing like you were sitting in the center of a thunderstorm. You suck in a breath of surprise, the angel and devil on your shoulder going back and forth. He was impossibly annoying, clingy and obsessive. He was like a guard dog, but if it was a guard giraffe instead with his lanky limbs and otherwise goofy nature. On the other hand, he was impossibly sexy, and you would be a dirty liar if you continued to pretend you didn’t want him to rearrange your guts in his t-shirt.

But what’s the harm in being a tease?

“What if I don’t?” You smirk, to which he mirrors your expression. If you want to play, he can do that too. He’ll make you regret it though. That flash of adoration in your eyes told him everything he needed to know.

“Give me a chance anyway. You’ll never fuck anyone else after this, I promise.” He says, not waiting for another catty reply from your pouty lips. He’s lunging forward, large hands grabbing your face to keep you from escaping him. Another second passes and his lips smash on yours. He’s needy, messy, and not holding himself back in this clash of teeth and lips and tongue. You were shocked by his passion, not realizing just how serious Satoru was in his pursuit of you. He kisses you like it’s the only thing he’s ever wanted, swallowing up any chance you have at getting oxygen with his saliva coated lips. You fist the cover beneath you, clutching the cotton for dear life.

He’s consuming your senses and you wouldn’t have it any other way; you feel stupid for denying yourself of this for nearly two years now. His touch is fiery, you can feel his fingerprints burn into your skin and the only cure is more of those large palms gliding over your shoulders and chest. You relax into him, moving your mouth fluidly against his smiling one; his taste is of some sort of candy..starbursts maybe, but just the pink ones. His tongue gives you that flavor as it melds with yours, dominating it easily. He’s breathing heavy and grunting, the sound almost sweeter than the candy on his breath. They’re high pitched and whiny, he’s been picturing this scenario for a while now. You find yourself laying back, tugging him by the shirt to hover over you. The fabric wafted his vanilla sandalwood fragrance, of course he would smell and taste so delicious. It’s so befitting of such a deviantly perfect man. He doesn't hesitate to cover your frame with his, boxing your hips in under his as he straddles them. He breaks the make-out session to sit back on his knees to peel off his shirt–a white one not unlike the black one you stole. He throws it over his shoulder and you both hear it faintly fall in the distance. Then you both sigh, you squirm beneath him, hips shamelessly rolling into his semi. The corners of his lips curled into a smile.

You looked truly angelic, as always. Your lips were plump and swollen from the way he smothered them, your tits perked up and nipples poking through the fabric of his tee. Your hair was just starting to get messy, and he had half a mind to fuck that bratty mouth of yours, holding out on him this long just to look up at him with those needy doe eyes. Now he’s really smirking, and it goes from an idea, to something he just has to see. He gets off of you, sliding out of his shoes, peeling off those annoying socks and his tight black jeans. He hisses when his throbbing erection isn’t so choked back, palming himself over his underwear. He goes to slide those off too when he catches you sitting up to remove his shirt.

“No. Leave that on.” He growled, yanking his underwear off and throwing it with the rest of the discarded clothes. You hummed in response, the husk of his voice sending a jolt to your pussy. You knew you were growing damp, and the tiny lace wouldn’t do much to stop that from being painfully obvious. You sigh softly at the sight of him, though it almost pisses you off. Yes, of course, even his cock is utterly perfect. Somewhere in the eight inches ballpark, purple veins along his curved shaft led to a pretty pink tip glossy with his arousal. He thumbs the slit and spreads it further, beautiful blue eyes fluttering shut to enjoy the brief strokes. You whine, not sure what he wants you to do.

Satoru has planned this day for so long, he’ll make sure you comply with his every request to fulfill this fantasy. He stands at the foot of your bed, huge hands wrapping around your ankles so he can drag you to lay completely flat on the mattress. There’s that devious smirk you know, your eyes widen slightly in wonder. He was planning something.

“I can use that loud ass mouth, right?” He hums, getting back to his knees on the bed. But this time, instead of straddling your hips, he positions his knees on either side of your shoulders. You gulp, his full length looming large over your face. You look past his dick to his oceanic stare.

“Yeah, yeah. Do your worst.” You manage to squeak, trying to reserve some of your pride. His eyes burn with amusement. He reaches his hand forward, putting a thumb on your chin to tilt your mouth downwards. He grins, angling your throat.

“You shouldn’t have said that.” He clicked his tongue, swiping at your bottom lip. “Goddamn, I’m gonna ruin you.” He says, affectionately smoothing down your hair while tapping your mouth with his tip. “Open up.”

You part your lips wider, relaxing your jaw; you even stick your tongue out to provide him the perfect mental image to remember. He slides his cock into your silky throat, hot mouth swallowing him all up so good he’s fighting that ball of tension in his stomach just from the sight. He knows he’ll last, even if cums down your throat he’ll make sure he pumps you full of another round. You clearly needed to know who you belonged to. He leans his weight forward, his tip colliding with your gag reflex. You choke around him, but he doesn’t let up. His hand catches him on the headboard, and now he has the perfect angle to hammer into your wet mouth without mercy. He keeps his icy gaze angled down, he can’t miss a second of your tears pooling and sliding down your reddened cheeks. You’re so beautiful, he can’t believe you made him wait two years to claim you like this. That’s fine, he understands that his powerful presence can be a bit much. He is the Honored One after all. He was content to wait for you until you could honor him.

He’s huge in your throat. You can feel your walls spasm around his cock, gagging and sputtering on him as he relentlessly slams into you. Your nose collides with his snowy pubes every time, saliva slicking down everything. Your cunt burns for attention, he’s driving you crazy with the way he’s looking at you, long white lashes framing the darkest lust-fueled stare you’ve ever seen. He’s using you so perfectly, you don’t mind being sore and unable to speak if it means you get to drink his load. Your hand sneaks over your thighs, sliding your thong over. You’re so drenched that the cold air makes you whimper around his gag, but you let your longest digit glide to your soaking hole. Gathering some of your slick, you slide back up to your aching bundle of nerves, easing circles over yourself. You sigh with relief, and Satoru turns to see why, grunting with dissatisfaction. His hips still, and he reaches to slap your hand away and give a punishing slap to your cunt. You jerk up in surprise, though the pressure was sickeningly sweet.

“None of that shit. You oughta wait longer, made me wait two whole years to make you mine.” He growls, bringing his hands back to hold your face. He rocks his hips into your face again, moaning softly at how well you’ve acclimated to his rod. Your gags are so erotic, giving you and him both goosebumps. He chuckles, feeling his stomach and cock twitch.

“Swallow it all or I’m not touching you.” He warns, spurting his seed down your throat. It’s a heavy load, spilling into your cheeks as he drags his cock out. You cover your mouth to keep any of his cum from leaking out, swallowing the hot liquid instantly. His hold on your cheeks makes it easy for him to push your mouth open, making sure you swallow every bit. He taps his tip against your lips in satisfaction, sliding back down your body to straddle your thighs this time. “That’s a good fuckin’ girl. You want me to eat your pussy?” He asks, sharp white teeth nipping at the delicate skin of your neck.

You nod, still gasping for breath. Your blood was thumping in your ears as well as your pussy, and all you could think about was his strong tongue against yours earlier.

“Beg me for it.” He smiles, breaking some skin below your collarbone and lapping his tongue over it. “Kept me waitin’ angelface. I think it’s the least you can do for me.” He coos, pushing his tee up all the way up your perfect thighs and over your tits. He nibbles his lower lip at the sight of your exposed body, not that it was the first time he’s seen you. Fresh out of the shower, scouring for clothes with no idea he’s watching or when your pajamas are so skanky you might as well wear nothing at all. This was special though, this was you wanting him, this was you begging for him to make you cum.

You whine, squirming under him. He eyes the slutty panties, shaking his head. “And I thought I hid all of these…” He sighs, working the drenched fabric off. He sniffs them and whimpers, they smell just as heavenly as all the others. Your pussy glistens with your floods of slick, he can’t help but lick his lips, palming his semi into a full erection again. You hardly thought he was serious with all of his flirts. He definitely seemed like the type to just enjoy flustering someone. Plus, you didn’t quite understand what he saw in you–surely he could be with super models. But he made you cancel any date you had for the past two years and actively barked at anyone who looked at you twice, and now stealing your panties for his use… surely that was a lot of commitment if he was just teasing you right? Fucking your mouth like it was his god given right, wanting you to beg for him, he really did want you carnally.

“Satoru,” You sigh out breathlessly, the man just out of arm’s reach. You bat your lashes and stare up at him. “Oh god, I’m sorry! I didn’t know you really wan’ed me! I didn’t mean to make you wait, baby, please–just please make me yours. I can’t take it ‘nymore, Sato..” You pant. He swears he’s vibrating, the pout in your voice just too much to handle. He needs you just as bad, but he has to make you cum for him before he ruins your cunt. He bites your thigh, determined to leave a bruise there, too. He’ll mark you up now that you’re his, no one could ever doubt or deny who you belong to. He only knows passion and all or nothing, his love is smothering and obsessive, and you’ll know everything about that. He groans, smelling your dripping juices was the final straw. His lips latch onto your painful need and you gasp out at the feeling. Your thigh burned where he had indented his teeth into it, but the pain only served to fog your brain up and soak your cunt just that much more

“Shoulda known I was serious.” He complains in between languid laps to your middle, drinking up the nectar. “I forgive you. ‘S gonna be okay now, I got us now.” He sighs dreamily, beginning a feisty assault on your core. He nibbles at your clit, sucking on it harshly and then following it with sweet and soothing licks. He can’t help but dip his svelte fingers in your tight hole, growling as you clamp around him. He knows you’re gonna be so fucking tight, and now he’s rutting his hips into your bed to stave off his desire until he pleases you to his liking. He coos as your arousal coats his plump pink lips, shaking his head as he devours you. His fingers pump and curl in all the right places. You’re sputtering and gasping, eyes clenched shut so hard colored orbs prick at your vision. You’re about to explode, every orgasm you’ve ever brought yourself or experienced before paling in comparison to the one you’re about to succumb to now.

Your legs shake, clenching around his head. His strong hands force your legs back down, squeezing gently on your thighs. He kneads the flesh, admiring how easily you surrendered to him. “You bout to cum, sweet girl?” He teases, working into your spongy spot with his lengthy fingers.

You nod, worried that he’d make you beg for that too.You decided to get ahead of the curve, babbling immediately. “Yes, please Satoru! Wan’ cum for you s’bad–please!”

He chuckles, “Of course darling. Cum for me, Tell me I’m the only one who can make you feel this good.” He demands, watching your nose scrunch up and your body jerk involuntarily. He can feel the flood of your release against his fingers, and he grins. He can’t hold it back anymore, he has to have you right now. He doesn’t let you recover, folding your legs into a mating press to start, sliding his aching length through your slippery hole and into those choking walls. He groans, letting his head fall back. You were just as tight as he imagined–no, tighter! This was all for him, no one but him would ever touch you again. The way you grip him sends chills down his spine, and his obsessive craving for you turns into an insatiable need. You watch his adam's apple bob in his throat, eyeing the rest of his bare chest and abs that had their own abs. He growls, his hold on the underside animalist. “Oh my god, doll..” He groans, breathing through his nose in an effort to calm himself.

“I’m gonna give it you so fucking good, little one. Gonna claim you in every way, give you my kids, don’t’cha want that?” He coos, hips snapping into your ass rapidly. He’s abusing your spot instantly, and he knows it. It’s partially because he knows he can’t last too long in this glorious cunt when he’s this worked up and partially because he wants to see you come undone before him, begging for him to fill you to the brim. He did say he’d claim you in every way, what could be more of his mark? His teeth prints bruising your sweet skin, or his child growing in your womb? He shivers at the idea. He never thought this way about people before you. Something about your perfect hair and your sweet smile made him horny in ways he never knew. He craves seeing you full of his cum, making you hold it and not letting you get any medicine to keep you from conceiving. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be, right?

His cock fills you so right that you know you’d agree to anything right now. Your feet shake by your ears, you can’t take his repeated and unforgiving slams. You nod dumbly, craving his hot load in your pussy and more of his dirty fantasies. “Mhm, wan’ give you pretty babies, ‘Toru, jus’ give it all to me.” You plead, tits bouncing with his brutal fucks.

His mouth drops open. “Agh, oh fuck..you really want me to knock you up baby? Lock me in as your baby daddy?” He questions breathily, dick jumping as you clench down. You really did like the idea it seems, as your wanton moans and soaking wave of cum clue him in to some fantasies of your own.

You nod vigorously again. “Yes! Oh my god, yes, please, Daddy…I’ll make you one I swear!” His whines are so rewarding. The pleasure you send coursing through him causes his brows to furrow.

“You fucking got it angel. Make me a baby.” He nods, determined to follow through on your wish. His cheeks flush, his cum shooting all over your walls. It was hot and gushing, your hole clenches in an effort to hold onto it. He’s wanted you all this time, there was no way you would escape him now. Now, you were all for him forever, and he hoped his seed took hold and grew within you. Couldn’t be so bratty if you were glowing with a child, his child. He had more than enough money, in his mind it's completely rational. He just wanted you to be reminded who you are now, who you belong to. The world needs to know it too, and he doesn’t mind to keep trying until it works. “Gonna look so pretty when you swell up for me.” He giggles, lazily blinking at you. He pushes your beautiful hair out of your face, gently holding your cheek.

“I love you. That’s why I act this way. You’re all mine now, for good. I'll always take good care of you, my pretty mama.” He coos, his voice sweet as he leans up to kiss your parted lips, your body still coping with the waves of pleasure. Sure, all the dinners you’ve made for him and all the times you’ve folded his laundry was just you being nice, but you knew why you cared so much for your annoyingly handsome roommate.

“I love you too. Here I was thinking this was the unluckiest day of my life.” You snort, running your hands through his white locks as he remains content to lay on top of you. He chuckles in return, but his mind is busy. He’s thinking about what theme for the nursery, names for your son or daughter, and how good you’d look needing him for everything for the next nine months.

#kyleewritesjjk #gojo saturo #satoru gojo #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo smut #gojou satoru x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo

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risuola · 7 months

Text

DO YOU WANT MY FINGERS? — F. READER x GOJO SATORU, who cannot stop twirling the god damn pen

You really needed to rest. You just wanted to sleep the day off, forget about the series of misfortunes and turn off your mind, but Satoru, your classmate just had to practise his pen spinning abilities.

cw: smut, Satoru and reader are students, fingering, Gojo is a menace, as usual, teasing, fingering, reader discretion is advised — 1,9k words

Can he stop?, you wondered, your mind racing like a sports car with the accelerator pushed to the floor, successfully rendering all of your efforts to relax fruitless. So many little things went wrong that day, so many failures that in themselves weren’t even that significant, but once accumulated, they created a tension in your body that you wished you could just sleep off. You hoped for the night to wipe away the concoction of not one, but two missed busses and a long run in the heat of the summer, the curse that was meant to be at most second grade but turned out to be first and exploding in purple goo, the fact that the room that ideally would have two beds, has just one and your infuriating colleague, now bedmate.

Gojo Satoru.

You had no idea what was his point in twirling that goddamn pen in between his fingers. Maybe he wanted to change his career path into becoming a circus artist or maybe he just wanted to annoy you to death – in both he had high chances to succeed. He clearly wanted to make you explode. That for sure was it, because the pen time after time fell from his hands, hitting the wooden floor. You lost count after the twenty sixth failed attempt of whatever the hell he was trying to accomplish, other than driving you completely insane.

Driven by the desire to break his neck, you flipped in the bed and took a quick glance of his form, fully ready and prepared to scold him, but then, your eyes landed on his hand and the voice got caught up inside your throat. Satoru has pretty hands, you always knew that, but somehow never paid them enough attention to notice how incredibly long his fingers are. You found yourself hypnotized by the way his lengthy digits worked all over the pen, twirling and twisting it between them. Skillfully bending and sliding against one another, using all of their slender length to make the movements effective.

Suddenly, you found yourself curious; your mind drifting into forbidden territories of rated thoughts, that you couldn’t, or maybe didn’t want to, push away. As you watched, hypnotized, how Satoru’s fingers were working their way around the pen, you wished to know if he’d be just as skilled using them in other ways? Would he be able to softly pour his magic onto your body, working them through your skin instead of the plastic? And how would they feel inside of you? For sure he’d reach into places you couldn’t yourself, for sure he’d-

“Y/n, my eyes are up here,” his voice snapped you out of your trance. “God, what got you so invested?”

“Nothing,” you muttered, exhaling deeply to ground yourself. “You’re annoying me with this pen, can you stop?”

“I’m trying to destress myself. I have to have my hands occupied- wait, were you looking at my hands?”

“No, Gojo.”

“Are you attracted to my hands?”

“How did you get annoyed and attracted mixed up, huh?”

“Don’t be shy now,” his face brightened with mischief as he grinned, wiggling his digits in the air. “Do you want my fingers?”

“God forbid you lay those on me,” you scoffed, trying to brush him off as you made an attempt to turn away from him, but he quickly rendered it fruitless by grabbing you by the wrist and pinning you down.

“Woops, I guess I just did,” he chuckled; one of his legs between your thighs as his body hovered above yours, making you wonder what the hell was happening. “Might as well go a little further.”

“I will knee you in the nuts if you don’t back off,” you threatened, but once again his chest, and whole body, shook with laughter.

“You can’t do that. Infinity, baby.”

Gojo and his goddamn infinity. A short tsk escaped your mouth, before he placed two of his fingers over them, brushing them ever-so-lightly along your upper lip, then lower and down the chin, painting a little s pattern with his, surprisingly soft, fingertips. His own lips never faltered from the menacing smirk, as his eyes focused on where he was outlining your features.

“So, tell me, where do you want them?” His voice now an octave lower went straight between your legs, you could feel yourself throbbing at the very thought of what he could do to you just by touching. “Here?” He peeled down your bottom lip just slightly, creating an opening for him to slip a fingertip into your mouth. “Nuh-ugh, don’t be mean,” he purred when you made an attempt to bite his digits off – the last signs of your dignity talking, before your body surrendered. “I assume it’s not here. So maybe… here?” With his finger now brushing just slightly over the swell of your breast, teasing the embarrassingly hardened nipple through the thin fabric of your sleeping shirt.

“Gojo-“ you tried to put some warning into your words, but he cut you off quickly.

“I’m not holding you, sweet thing. You have more than enough strength to push me away, we both know this.” He was right, and you hated it. Yes, he was above you, his thigh resting between yours, but other than that, he wasn’t exactly keeping you captive in his grip, because there was no grip whatsoever. Sending mental profanities at your own direction, you failed to notice his hand shifting downwards and you only realized it when your body jolted at the sudden pressure applied over your clothed clit. “Oh, it’s here where you want them, huh?”

To admit was way above your current state of self-respect, so you said nothing, trying to join your legs back together, to hide the wet patch that soaked through the soft, light-blue cotton, but to no avail. The more he stroked his fingers along the outlines of your folds, pressing little circles of tease into the swollen bud, the less control and clarity of mind you had.

“Use your words, will you?”

“G-gojo, please-“, you nearly whined.

“Yeah? Tell me, is that where you want my fingers?”

“Y-yes,” that was the most humiliating thing you’ve ever said, and you were certain that the consequences of it will haunt you for as long as you live, because Satoru was surely never gonna let you live that down, but at this particular moment, you couldn’t care less. You’ll be embarrassed later, now you needed to feel those sinful digits inside.

“Good girl,” he praised, pressing a soft kiss to the side of your jaw. Satoru was full of content, watching you lose your composure piece by piece right before his eyes, and he tried to take mental picture of every stage you went through since he began his teasing torture. From the soft frown that made your brows crease in the middle and your pretty eyes narrowed, sending death stares; through denial – the looks pointed away from him, the delicate tension of every muscle and clenched teeth and the current one – the most adorable flush that spilled over your cheeks and nose, the slightly nervous chew on your lower lip and those same eyes now lost, confused and yet, full of want. What he’s used to see in you was your every day calm, perfect composure and lighthearted approach to life and now, as all of those began to break, taking down the façade of carelessness, Gojo felt the swell of his confidence and ego. And the twitch in his pants.

“There you go,” he nearly whispered, slipping effortlessly into your underwear and the sudden contact of his skin against your aching, throbbing clit made your entire body shiver with anticipation. Satoru shifted his body to your side, placing his own down to be more comfortable, now sure that you won’t push him away. “You’re so wet. So wet and it’s only because of my fingers?”

“S-satoru…”

The grasp you took around his forearm could probably break a bone, but Gojo felt nothing, too consumed by the sweet whimpers that were escaping your lips as he was stroking the letters of his name right into your clit, time after time making your thighs tremble with pleasure. You were so incredibly wet, so worked up that it surprised even you how easily he made you unfold.

You could feel his hot breath fanning over the sensitive skin of your neck, where he was nipping at slowly, murmuring soft praises interlaced with the filthiest of things that could sound so sexy only slipping over Satoru Gojo’s tongue. His skillful fingertips brushed a little lower, gathering your slick and teasing your entrance painfully. You felt yourself clenching around nothing, needy for what his hands have to offer and he was quick to provide. One of his long fingers slipped into you with ease, entering your warm walls and pushing a breathy whimper from your throat. Satoru reached so far, way further than you could ever even try to reach. And then the subtle burn from the stretch came, when the second finger followed; the heel of his palm pressed tightly to your clit. With the way he moved in and out, pushing and pulling at your nerves, curling his digits inside of you and pressing every oversensitive button along his way – all of it was driving you insane.

The stars were overflowing your vision, the glittering particles of pleasure dancing right in front of your eyes and you couldn’t even care about keeping yourself from breathing out his name. The heat searing at your core spread throughout your entire body, setting it alight with its sparks. You felt like a volcano was erupting inside of you, the hot lava now flowing through your veins instead of blood, pumped sharply with the deft movements of Satoru’s fingers.

A surge of pleasure electrocuted your system, seething tendrils of blissful lust followed every push and pull of his digits. Your thighs began to tremble, your walls were contracting rapidly, clenching around him. Your breath got caught inside your lungs and those stars before your eyes began dancing around, blinding you with white.

“Think you can take the third one?”, Gojo asked, his mouth right next to your ear before he bit onto the petal of it. He challenged you with the question but wasn’t expecting the answer for it. Something incoherent slipped through your lips, following with a moan when he added another dose of stretch to your throbbing pussy, filling you to the impossible levels with the third fingers that still, slipped in with ease. He was almost too much, it sent you overboard with the excitement that got you spiraling into the bliss, head first, full speed. Your entire body tensed, your hand clenched around his forearm, but he didn’t falter from the torturous pace he’s set. Orgasm began overtaking your body in waves of ecstasy that was rushing through you every time he moved.

Your entire form shook underneath his touch, your mind was a blurred out, hazy mess and you were getting lost, drowning in the waves of climax and as he curled his fingers once more, pressing the most sensitive spot inside your velvety walls with all of his might, the knot in your stomach snapped. His name began escaping your mouth unknowingly, breathlessly repeated like a prayer, feeding into his ego as you came all over his hand. The orgasm came with the intensity that shot you straight onto the cloud nine, overwhelming you completely. Your eyes closed shut, your breath was racing just as the heart in your chest.

Gojo slowed down, leading you through the high and eventually, he pulled his hand out.

“Ah, what a mess you made,” he teased, smearing the milky white residues between his soaked fingers. You could barely hear him, but you didn’t need to, to know that he’s gonna tease you for that forever.

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nanaminokanojo · 30 days

Text

THAWING ICE QUEEN (part 107)

–one night of fooling around with the annoying campus king gojo satoru (he thinks so), turns into...well, something else more long term

CHARACTERS: gojo satoru x you | geto suguru | jjk characters

MASTERLIST | CHAPTER INDEX

<<prev part 107 next>>

A/N: This has prose.

“What?”

Nothing was making sense. You don’t even know if you’ve heard right as you watched everything suddenly slow into a snail’s pace and blur out into nothing but colors. It was as if you were submerged in a transparent water tank where nothing was exactly clear, not sight or sound, although you were somehow aware of what was going on. You knew your father stood up from his seat, looking deathly pale as he looked towards the stage. You followed the direction of his eyes, that, too, seeming to take an eternity to accomplish as you turned your head and saw none other than Gojo Satoru standing behind the podium, smiling bright as he addressed the applauding crowd, dazzling under the ambient lights and seemingly not existing in the same realm as everyone was.

You whirled around to look at Kento, having to steady yourself on one of the chairs as questions, one after the other started to flood your mind, except you couldn’t voice them out, not knowing which one to ask first. Why was Satoru suddenly named the head of a company his maternal grandfather owns? Does he know the real reason why you were leaving? Did he do just that for you? What the hell was your father telling you to ask your friends what he was doing there? You held onto Kento’s arm, your eyes conveying every single one of the things you couldn’t say. His expression told you everything you needed to know.

“What?” you asked again, but your voice came out weak, drowned out by another round of applause that was addling your thought process, making you incoherent and unable to do anything. What did you want to do anyway? There wasn’t one thing that came to mind, not even the scathing smirk your father shot your way when your eyes met his again. You just wanted it to be over, but then again, in what way?

You swallowed, thick and hard, wishing you could say something. You knew what it meant, that same accusing look he threw your way all those years ago when your mother died, a core memory that hardened at the back of your mind. He might not have said it out loud, but it spoke volumes of how he wished you were gone instead of her, how he blames you for the loss of the only woman he ever cared about. He looked at you the same way now as if you wounded him the same way again, as if you were making him go through the pain again.

He held you frozen with his cold gaze, making you hold your breath until it hurt, when suddenly, he turned away to address someone else behind you. “I believe congratulations are in order,” he stated in a tone that was anything but congratulatory, “Mr. Gojo.”

“Hardly, but I believe thanks are in order,” Satoru responded, repeating your father’s words and returning it to him. “I have yet to fulfill the purpose of it all.”

You heard the smirk in his voice as opposed to seeing it, unable to move on your spot as Kento kept you steady, merely looking down on the floor. You wanted to do something, anything, take him away from there perhaps. Your father wasn’t worth the time, not Satoru’s anyway. Mustering all the wits you had left, you finally managed to turn around, looking at Satoru to ground yourself. He was there. Everything will be okay…right?

Satoru smiled at you and winked as if to answer your unspoken question. He stepped towards your father, and in a low tone, said, “If you think you can use me to hurt your own daughter, you couldn’t have been more mistaken.” Although he kept a pleasant look on his face, the playfulness was gone, replaced by a threat instead.

Your father scoffed. “Very valiant of you then, young man. All this for my daughter.” He chuckled. “But you said it yourself. She is my daughter, and what goes in our family neither involves you nor does it change things because you suddenly decided you’d want to go this far for her. Commendable, I must say –”

“I’ll take that as a compliment without the catch, if you don’t mind.” He leveled his expression with your father. “Of course, you are right. It changes nothing if you still want Y/N to leave, but she can decide on that without you threatening to tear me down should she disagree.”

You merely blinked slowly as your thoughts were confirmed, but before you could even wrap your head around it, Satoru was suddenly beside you, taking your hand in his, boldly displaying it in front of your father.

“Satoru –”

“I love your daughter, Atty. L/N. And yes, I’m willing to go through lengths to make her happy. I may not decide on that, but I’m giving her the freedom to do just that without anyone, not even you, interfering in it.”

The older male glared at Satoru. “This was all in vain, but you knew that.”

“We’ll see,” the blue-eyed menace beside you stated in that happy-go-lucky tone of his, even having the gall to grin at your father. “Now, if you don’t mind…” He shifted his gaze to you, a love-struck smile replacing his earlier expression. “I have a date with your daughter, father-in-law.”

With that, he turned around, dragging you away, but not before you saw your father fall onto his seat, evidently seething as he watched the pair of you go. But before you could dwell on that thought, you heard Satoru’s laughter ringing through the hallway as he looked back at you with nothing but that tender, adoring look he always has for you, enough to convince you to join in as you both ran towards your own fairy tale albeit momentary.

A/N: Hi, everyone! Just gonna leave this here for now and will update this over the next days one or two at a time, depending on how much I can create per day. Again, thank you for the love. We're almost to the end! Thanks for staying.

TAGS LIST: @arxliana @neeneee @charlie-xo @aelynaneedsalottathing @cloudxp @justpuddinglol @mikkies @nyfwyeonjun @whats-humanity-lol @letthewindlead @whore-of-many-hot-men @localgaytrainwreck @pikibee @bloombb @mr-underhills-things @lysaray @chocoyanchan @poemzcheng @bookswillfindyouaway @dreamxiing @koutaroo @taelattecookie @kazuhasmaid @weebbuscuit @moonmalice @taengkatsu @reagan707 @to0ruu @shirabane @yell0wdreams @r0ckst4rjk @megtheebimbo @tmvll9 @kibananya @ti-mame @niko-ash @minzxec

PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART/ANY MEDIA CREDITS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

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tojikai · 1 year

Text

Permanent Mark IX: Mistakes

Pairing: Gojo x Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: pregnancy, mentions of abortion, insecurities, mentions of cheating

Series Masterlist

“Sometimes, our mistakes come back to haunt us...”

“You don’t plan on working for your parent’s company?” Satoru asked you as you played with his hair. He’s laying on his stomach with his head on your chest, and his fingers caressing your thighs. It was raining outside and the sky looked so dark yet the brightness in his eyes as they bore into yours lit up every corner of your bedroom. It’s been 6 months since you started dating officially and the other day, your parents came over, accidentally meeting him for the first time.

They got a bit upset that you didn’t even tell them that you were in a serious relationship, especially your Mom who almost did an in-depth, complete background check on Satoru. You remember how she once told you that if you were going to get into a relationship, especially if it’s a serious one, make sure that your partner will not cause any shame or taint your name and the company. She can’t have you marrying ‘just anyone.’

You hated how they always tell you what they want you to do yet never took the time to actually educate and look after you. You understand that they have been letting you off the hook for a long time now, allowing you to sit and look pretty even after you graduated college but you see it as them putting everything first before you. Your plan was to at least start a family of your own, and take care of your kid before you dedicate yourself to building the company because you know that once your mom gets her grip on you, it won’t be easy to get away from her.

“No. Not now.” You traced the bridge of his nose, making his eyes flutter shut. You admired him; even with the turmoil inside your mind, you always made space to marvel at his beauty. “I thought she was going to ask me to draw my family tree.” Satoru laughed, kissing the valley of your breasts, coaxing you to join him. It’s still fun now because it hasn’t happened yet but knowing how far your mom can go, it’s not a laughing matter at all. Your mother is not a bad person, just a…bad parent. She thinks of you as a pawn for her company, making sure that you’re suited for it when the time comes.

That’s quite contrary to how your Dad treats you. He’s responsible for the freedom that you’re having, and even if he’s not always with you, he never forgets to call you or check on you. You understand that what your mom is doing is because of all the things she wants to reach and prove to everyone. You just happened to be included in the materials that she needed to accomplish them, unfortunately. And you didn’t realize that it will comprise your personal and private life even as you grow older and become your own person.

“There’s nothing you can do. Abort it. Or you won’t get a single penny from us. I’ll throw you down with the regulars.” Your mother’s threats are not empty ones and you are sure of it. Even your dad turned to look at her, eyebrows furrowed at her harshness. Not once has this been mentioned, no matter how badly you acted and no matter what you did.

“That’s too much. Your daughter’s already here and working. What more will you ask of her?” Your father finally spoke, obviously not agreeing with your Mom’s decision. Despite your mother’s attitude, they never fought much even when you were little. You used to think that maybe they’re just too busy with this company to even argue, but looking at it now, you can’t help but think that maybe it’s because your father always chose not to reason with her. Not getting anything from your Mom is not a problem, you have your dad. And it’s not like you couldn’t do anything either. Now that you have a real responsibility, you know you’d do your best to adjust. You can’t forever be like this, anyway.

“It’s alright. I’ll take care of them. Y/N and the baby.” Satoru swallowed thickly, thinking of a way to get you out of the situation without being disrespectful, even as your mom threw him a sharp look. “You literally dumped my daughter and now you’re telling me that you could take care of her? Boy, I don’t trust you one bit.” Your mother snarled, looking Satoru down. You felt him slightly flinch, floored by your mother’s brutal honesty. You remembered how you told them that Satoru broke up with you, but never mentioned that he cheated on you. You could only imagine how harsher your mother would be if she knew.

Satoru took a deep breath, obviously taken aback by your mother’s words. He could see how different you are from her. You can be stubborn at times but you never look at people in such a way that could make them question their worth. He glanced down for a second before standing straighter, squeezing your hand but before he could answer your mom, you decided that it wouldn’t lead the argument to a better path. The only way to settle this down is to let your mother know that you’re firm with your decision.

“I won’t do it, Mom. I’ll work with the regular employees if you want me to. But this is my kid, I decide what I will do with it.” Your voice was shaking but even so, you did your best to stand up to your mother who could only look at you with annoyance. For some reason, you cannot let go of the growing life inside you. Shoko already told you that you’d have to be smart with your decisions, especially when it involves the baby. She reminded you of the situation and you understand how heavy it is but it’s not enough to shut down the warmth of happiness that fills your chest every time you think about how it could change your life.

Maybe after all the wrong things that you’ve done, you could finally do something right.

“Do you even know what you’re getting yourself into, Y/N?” Your mom sounded desperate as she sighed, shoulder slouching as her brows pulled up and bumped together. She looked more worried now than mad, like how she always gets when you get yourself into trouble. But this time, this is not mere trouble; it’s connected to you and your whole being. You know that you have another option and you're not overlooking that but right now, your choice is to keep it.

"I'm sorry, Mom." You took a deep breath as you blinked three times in a row, preparing yourself for whatever consequence it is that you’d have to face for being insolent after all the years of freedom that they have given you. You can see your mother shake her head as you look down at your feet. Satoru's body relaxed for a short while before he changed his stance, ready to leave.

"Are you two together again?" Your father asked, glancing at Satoru for a second before looking back at you. Your father’s not showing any signs of hostility towards Satoru and you know that it’s only because he has no idea why you broke up. You shook your head before your ex could answer and you could almost hear him sigh. You know that he's still hoping even if he wasn't telling you. But you're done with all of this. You cannot have yourself overthinking about the sturdiness of the relationship when it's built up on its own ashes after it burnt down to the ground.

"No. But he wants to be present—" Before you could finish, your mother's already cutting you off, her anger skyrocketing once again as she hears you make excuses for the man who carelessly stomped on your heart. "Then where will it lead you? You'd only end up falling back in the palm of his hand even if you don't want it. You know better than to settle for someone who'd throw you away so easily." Satoru winced, remembering how your mother refused to talk to him properly at the hospital if not for the sake of her image.

"You don’t understand, Mom." You exhaled, not caring if your voice broke. This situation is too much for you. The only preparation you made was about the baby. You didn't think they’d interrogate you about your relationship with Satoru too and you blame yourself for it. You should’ve known that they’d ask about the father if you tell them that you’re keeping it. You wouldn’t admit it to yourself that you purposely avoided thinking about what’s going to be the agreement between you and Satoru. You don’t want that kind of topic because it only reminds you that your child might never have a whole family and it’s breaking you.

“Just know that I’m not taking any of my words back.” Your mother held her head high despite the prominent frustration on her face. You can see your father reaching over to rub her back but she quickly turned to make an exit. You didn’t expect your mother to back down quickly, but you thought that maybe she was thinking about your state too. Your father shook his head, deep in thought as you felt Satoru’s hold on your hand loosen up a bit as he turned to you to scan your face.

“Are you alright?” He asked you, not letting go of your hand before he looked over to your father when he heard you hum. He was probably thinking of how to excuse the two of you to leave. It was eerily quiet and you could only watch your shadows on the tiled floor as you replayed the previous scene in your head. You unconsciously reached to pat your stomach, wondering if it could also feel the quick beats of your heart.

“If you need anything you can call, Y/N. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you’d have to beg—” Your father was interrupted by Satoru as he stepped forward, “It’s okay. I…I won’t make her do something like that. I’m just…just owning up to my mistakes.” Your father probably thought that you had to ask Satoru to stay with you for the sake of your child. You understand if he thought that it was the case. After all, what they know is that Satoru was the one who left. Knowing how they view you, your parents most likely assumed that it was you who made a problem.

“Why did you leave my daughter?” Your eyes widened when you heard how your father asked Satoru so directly. In an instant you were holding his arm, pulling him back as you tried to put your thoughts together to make an excuse for what happened. “We fell out of love.” You quickly answered, making Satoru look at you with a puzzled look. You cannot let your parents know. Not when you’re having a kid with him. You know that the baby is just as important to you as it is to Satoru and you could only think of how your parents would probably try to keep it away from him if they found out.

No matter how you think of it. You don’t think it will be fair to him if they step over his rights of being a father to his own child.

“I…I feel sick. C-can we go now?” You added quickly, squeezing Satoru’s arm tightly but not letting your father notice it. You hate to lie to him but this is for the better. It’d only cause more chaos if they found out. Your biggest fear is not raising your child with separated parents but it is raising your child without even knowing who his or her father is. “Do we need to go to the doctor?” Satoru held you by your arms, letting you lean on him, unaware of what you were trying to do. You simply shook your head and looked at your father who was already on his feet, pulling out his phone from his pocket.

“Sit here, I’ll call a doctor.” You almost cursed when he spoke the idea but instead, you shook your head, insistent on just leaving before everything gets worse, “No. Maybe I just need to rest. Can we just go home?” Your eyes flicked between your father and Satoru. You felt bad that you were worrying them but what else could you do?

”Alright, uhm…I’m sorry for what happened.” Satoru spoke to your father, not really knowing what to say after the situation with your mom. You could see your father shaking his head at him, “Just make sure she’s safe. Y/N, call me. You know your mother’s just like that but she loves you.” He reminded you, walking closer to give you a hug. You only nodded your head, feeling your father rub your back to comfort you. “I’ll talk to her. Don’t worry.” You pulled away with a hum, stepping away to let Satoru once again support your body.

It felt like all the tension escaped your body the moment you heard Satoru bid goodbye to your father. You could feel your muscles loosening as you quietly sighed in relief, letting your ex walk you out of your Mom’s office. You heard your fingers crack as you clenched your fists when you stepped into the elevator. It was the same elevator you and Rie talked in and you couldn’t help but flinch at the memory.

“How are you feeling? Your father was right, we should see a doctor.” Satoru tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as you pressed your lips together. You suddenly thought of what it’d be like if you were to run into Rie here. If you get stuck in the same room as them, you'd claw your way out of the walls just to run. It’s almost as if your heart was reminding you that he’d never choose you over her.

He’d only choose you if she wasn’t one of the choices. Your lips twitched downwards as you looked away, trying to ignore the pang in your chest.

"What are you thinking about?" He spoke in a soft voice beside you, watching your face in an attempt to read whatever is bugging you. "Nothing important." You took a deep breath, blinking fast as you shook your head. Out of all the times that you've been in this elevator, this is the slowest ride so far. Satoru took a step closer to you and you can tell that he just wants to get out of the building as well by the way he keeps shifting his weight on his two feet. Halfway down, someone got in and you had to force a smile and a greeting as countless thoughts run inside your mind.

The moment the elevator door opened to the lobby, Satoru was already guiding you out. His hand was resting on the small of your back as you tried to look calm even with the quick big strides that you were making. It felt like the building was slowly closing in on you. Like it's starting to get smaller and narrower the longer you stay inside it. You don't know if anyone heard what happened inside your mother's office but you thought that it's best if you avoided everyone's eyes.

You didn't know that among those eyes that are watching you walk down that building with the father of your child are the eyes of a woman whose heart you also ruined. Rie watched from afar as you and Satoru strode past the glass doors before making a turn to where his car was parked, wondering how you are walking so casually with him as if the guy didn't betray your trust and crush your soul.

"That's the boss's daughter. You know her?" The woman dropped the stack of paper in front of her as she shook her head, not wanting to associate herself with Y/N anymore. But Satoru, he still got her heart thumping. Even after he spilled everything to Rie about why he wanted to leave her, she still couldn’t help but hope that maybe he’d come back. Maybe he’s just guilty, maybe he just felt bad for what he did to you.

“Are those the papers I signed earlier? Why are you doing this in the lobby?” Your mother’s voice suddenly boomed behind Rie. Stepping back a bit to the side, she made way for her as she checked the papers. “I was just helping her sort it out, ma’am since I don’t have much work in my hands.” The employee answered, watching the way your mom’s eyes scanned the documents for a bit before they turned to Rie. The woman’s features are strong yet beautiful, they’re nothing similar to yours. It only led Rie to the conclusion that you must look like your father. You look a lot less fierce than your mother. Rie bowed her head a bit when her eyes swept her up and down.

“Oh, it’s you again.” Rie smiled politely, greeting your mother as she turned to face her fully. To be honest, Rie was a bit nervous when talking to her because of how serious she always seemed. She could already tell why you can’t stand living in the same house as her but what Rie couldn’t understand was how you weren’t scared enough to follow every word she says. But then again, parents—no matter how strict they are, have the tendency to spoil their children. And you’re an only child. It’d only make sense if you grew up getting everything you want even just by throwing a bit of a tantrum.

“Do you…” Rie isn’t dumb. She’s aware of the possibility that you might’ve told your mother about her already. The question is: which version did you tell about her? The woman who your boyfriend cheated on you with? Or the woman your ex-boyfriend cheated on with you? Either way, Rie knows that she’s not winning because this is your mom. There’s no way she’d take into consideration that Rie got betrayed too.

“Do you happen to know my daughter?” Your mother continued, almost confirming Rie’s initial thoughts about you telling her your story. “A friend? A former classmate?” She inquired further, doing her best to plaster a friendly smile on her face. She notices how Rie looks so tense just by talking to her. It was a harmless question really, but after talking to so many people all her life, negotiating and sealing deals, your mother could easily read someone’s expressions and actions.

“Not really, ma’am. Just…through an acquaintance. I knew her through an old high school classmate.” Rie smiled, enveloping her right hand with her left just to check the temperature, something she does out of habit when in such situations. She can see your mother nod before her eyebrows scrunched up as if she’s deep in thought, “The doctor?” Your mother tried to guess, referring to Shoko and Rie only nodded, not wanting to drag the conversation long. She’s already uncomfortable around your mother, and she made it worse by asking about you.

“I figured. She helped Y/N a lot when she was at the hospital.” I know that. I was one of the reasons why that happened to your daughter. Rie’s eyebrows furrowed for a second at the thought. She remembered seeing Shoko with your parents in the waiting room when they got there, it felt like everything happened only yesterday. She realized that her romance with Satoru was cut too fast and too short. It still stings but she knows that she’d take him back in an instant if he ever changes his mind.

“So, you know Satoru too? And the tattoo artist.” Rie almost wondered if your mother was a mind-reader. An annoying one. “Y/N said they’re classmates.” She tapped her long nails at the top of the marble table. It sounded like the ticking of the clock and it all felt like a time-gated interview that would cost her something if she didn’t answer on time. She nodded again, avoiding your mother’s eyes as she pursed her lips. She can see her nod from the corners of her eyes.

“Oh well, you guys do what you should be doing. I’ll get going now.” Rie almost let out a sigh of relief as she heard the clacking of her heels fade away into the distance. She can hear her friend giggling as she closedsher eyes, taking a deep breath. She really thought that she was going to confront her about you. Even if she knew that you and your mother were not that close, she’s also aware that your mother would do anything to make sure that you’re not being stepped on.

“You know Miss Y/N?” Her friend asked, placing the papers in front of Rie. “Not personally. The guy with her is an old friend.” Rie followed the direction where your mother went, both curious and scared as to why she’s intrigued by her. “Ah, I see. Miss Y/N’s nice. She only started training and working here a couple of weeks ago.” Shaina smiled at Rie which she returned with a forced one.

“That man’s her ex. But I heard he’s trying to win her back even though he dumped her for someone else not long ago. At least that’s what the rumors here say. Don’t mention it to anyone.” Shaina hushed, eyes darting around to check their surroundings. Rie could only block out all the compliments her friend was saying about you. She doesn’t want to hear it. She doesn’t want to know about your life. She’s still not over everything and to see you looking so okay with Satoru following you around didn’t help at all.

It wasn’t the kindest thought but how else is she going to feel when you’re the reason why she’s hurting? She still regrets letting Satoru go with you that day.

_______________________________________

“Thank you, I’ll just call you when I need something.” You murmured as you reached for your seatbelt before Satoru beat you to it. His brows furrowed at your words, “I can’t leave you, you’re not feeling well. What if something happens to you and the baby?” He slouched in his seat, eyeing you through the rearview mirror. As much as possible, you still try to keep your distance from Satoru, constantly reminding yourself that whatever you’re doing right now is just for the sake of the life that you two made. Nothing more.

You know that what your mother said is not impossible. Being with him can only make you fall back into him.

“I lied. I just wanted to leave.” You told him directly, watching as his mouth slightly opened at your confession. You fidgeted with your fingers before clicking your tongue and reaching for the door. “Are you sure? I can stay with you, my work can wait—” Satoru was cut off when you let out an annoyed sigh as you turned your head to the window. “We don’t live together, Satoru. You stay with me for the baby but that doesn’t mean that you can just go in and out of my flat as you please. You’re not my boyfriend.” You opened the door to step out, ignoring the pained expression on his face.

Satoru had to stare at your back as you walked inside your building, throbbing pain in his chest and a tight feeling in his throat. This wasn’t new to him ever since he tried to win you back but it still hurt. It’s been something that he’s kept in him for so long because he knows that he doesn’t have the right to complain but these days, Suguru has more access to you and your everything than him. It hurts to see that everything that he’s lost is now seemingly making its way to somebody else.

Satoru doesn’t know the depth of what you two share but he’s aware of how deep Suguru’s feelings go for you are. He doesn’t know what happened on all those nights that you were needing him but Suguru was the one beside you. He doesn’t know anything about the two of you anymore and it scared him. It’s like karma biting him back in the ass twice as hard after what he pulled on his best friend five years ago.

“Suguru, you free?” He spoke on the phone, looking again at the number that he unknowingly dialed as he looked at the doors of your apartment building. He hoped that you’d step out of it and take back everything you said and instead ask him if he wanted to stay. He knows that you’re still upset about what happened earlier and Satoru wants nothing but to erase all those thoughts from your mind. But how is he gonna do that when you locked him out?

“I’m about to close the shop, why?” He can hear Suguru doing something in the background. Satoru needs to talk about it all or he’ll end up losing his mind. If he finds out anything that would destroy him then he’d let it destroy him. It’d be unfair if he were to counter it when he’s the one who caused it. He’s left with no other option but to stay quiet and understand.

“Let’s go out for a drink. Y/N’s mad at me.” Satoru chuckled at the ache in his chest. It’s not the ‘You annoy me’ type of mad but the ‘I can’t stand being in the same place as you.’ type of mad that you’re feeling for him. It’s agonizing to think that the person who used to love him with all her heart and more is now closing herself away from him.

He can’t blame you for wanting to protect yourself from him.

“She always is.” The sound of the door slamming shut can be heard from Suguru’s line and Satoru took it as a cue to start his car again. “Alright, let’s just meet there, send me the place.” Suguru continued and Satoru could only hum, and thank him for agreeing. He quickly sent him a message before proceeding to drive. It was a cold and silent war the two of you are going through. Satoru has his white flag raised high but still, he continues to charge toward you, wanting nothing but to be on the same side as you again.

Reaching the pub, Satoru was thinking of how to ask the question in his head without aggravating the other. It’s been there for weeks now, and now that he’s seeing that his situation with you is not improving at all, he knew he had to talk to his friend. There are times when you’d call Suguru when he’s around and he feels like a third wheel; like he’s listening in on a conversation spoken in a language that the two of you understand.

He asked Shoko about it already but the only answer that he got was “We stayed with her when you were gone.” but it was never about Suguru alone. She’s the on who suggested Satoru talk to the two of you but he doesn’t want to stress you with that. If there’s something that you aren’t telling him, then it’s fine. He won’t force you to tell him, like you said, you’re only letting him in because of the baby.

“Hey,” He tapped Suguru’s shoulder as he walked by him to sit on the other side. He looked around, licking his lips as he nodded, thankful that it wasn’t as crowded as he expected it to be. He still doesn’t know how to talk to Suguru about this. Hell, he doesn’t even know why he was so insistent on knowing about it. It’s not like it would change anything. A positive and negative response is just equal at this point.

“How’s Y/N?” Suguru pulled up his sleeve, leaning on his elbow as he pushed the drink he ordered for his friend. He’s got a feeling that this hang-out isn’t just for catching up. Eyeing his best friend and his stance, he could tell that he was about to ask him something. Spending more time with you brought you, him, and Shoko closer together; him especially. You were close before but now, it feels as if he’s seen everything already. In a span of two months, you made him feel as if he’s been missing you his whole life.

It was like you were making up for the lost time that he was supposed to be with you.

“She’s doing good. I just dropped her home.” Satoru scratched his head as he chuckled mirthlessly before proceeding, “She locked me out again.” He shook his head, before looking up to meet Suguru’s eyes. He can tell that he feels sorry for him. He’s looking at him with sympathy, probably thinking if he should tell him words of comfort or just say ‘you had it coming.’ But instead, he just sighed and took a gulp of his drink.

“You know it’s not going to be easy.” Suguru shook his head, leaning back as he traced the body of his glass, there was a short moment of silence before Satoru’s deep intake of breath cut through it, “I don’t even know if it’s gonna work.” Suguru felt bad for his friend. He knows that what he did was wrong and the damage he had caused to you may be beyond repair but the way he’s dedicating his everything just to be with you again when there is no certainty is undeniably admirable.

“You’re gonna ask me something,” Suguru stated rather than ask. It only made Satoru smile, chuckling as he nodded his head signaling that Suguru’s assumption was right. Suguru doesn’t plan on lying about anything. You two already talked about what happened, you didn’t try to deny it or even ignore it. If anything, the day after that, you both opened it up to each other.

“It wasn’t a mistake, I know what I was doing.” You plopped down on your couch in front of him as he tried to predict what you were thinking. Suguru was aware too but the thing about intoxication is you don’t really have enough control over your body. Especially when you’re hurting. And also when he’s pining. Your desire to forget and his suppressed feelings for you were intensified by the alcohol and that’s why it happened.

“Look, I know what I did was wrong-” He started, leaning his elbow on his knees as he heard you sigh, clicking your tongue as you put down your cup. “Stop blaming yourself, I let it happen too.” You closed your eyes, thinking of how it would affect Satoru when he finds out. Sure, he cheated on you. And yes, you’re not together anymore but Suguru is still his best friend. Betrayal is betrayal and no matter how fast you try to run away from it, you know that its consequences are bound to catch up to you— even if you weren’t intentionally trying to hurt him when something happened between you and Suguru—if you don’t fail to make things right..

“If he asks you about it, don’t lie.” You swallowed, rubbing the back of your neck with your hand. “I’d tell him about it, I just have to figure out how.” You added and it only made Suguru wonder if you’d take it all the way with him if he asked you to. He wondered if you’d agree to be with him if he told you how he feels for you. But he won’t. He already feels like he took advantage of you because of what happened. Acting on his selfish feelings will only prove how bad of a friend he is to Satoru and to you.

“Look, I’m sorry. I was less drunk, I should’ve—” Another click of your tongue made Suguru stop yet again. You sighed as you stared at him, shaking your head, “I told you not to blame yourself. I initiated it.” You reminded him, but it only made him feel more guilty, thinking that he should’ve never given in. No matter how much control he lost over himself. As if that was an easy thing.

“I was thinking of telling him about it already, you know?” You sighed, fiddling with your fingers as you recalled your thoughts earlier before you and Suguru decided to talk. “But I realized, it’s not like we started dating. And it’s not like he’s still my boyfriend either.” You explained, glancing up at him just to see his reaction because you’re not really sure if you’re making sense. “But then again, he’s still your friend. It’d be even more disrespectful if we tried to hide it from him. We’re gonna have to tell him about it soon.”

Suguru nodded as he looked at you, your eyes glued on the carpeted floors as worry and disappointment became more prominent in your features with each passing second. Suguru knows that Satoru is more than curious about what happened while he was gone. His ex-girlfriend spent time with his best friend almost every day. If Suguru was in his place, he’d probably worry about it too. It’s not like there was no trust in their friendship. But knowing that your best friend used to harbor feelings for your ex-girlfriend, and probably still does, is something that could create such thoughts.

The plan to confess everything to Satoru didn’t change, but your pregnancy happened and all of a sudden it’s the least important thing. So many things were changing and taking place that your initial plan to talk to Satoru got buried under them all. Suguru can almost see the consequences of that negligence right now.

“You still have feelings for Y/N?” He asked casually as if he wasn’t bouncing his leg up and down under the table due to anxiousness. He took a big gulp of his drink, preparing himself for whatever answer he may get. Satoru promised himself that he wouldn’t start a fight. That’s why he chose this space, thinking that maybe it could help him keep his emotions in check. But obviously, Suguru knows him better than that.

“I’m going out for a smoke. We should talk outside.” He stood up from his seat, not waiting for Satoru as he pulled out a packet of cigarettes. Satoru stared at the back of his head as he followed like he was trying to read his thoughts, desperate for answers as the long walk to the parking lot burned his patience. Suguru went to the farthest end, near the fence where no one could hear them. Had Satoru known that he’d be like this about it, he would’ve met him somewhere else instead.

“Why won’t you just say it to me? Something happened, right?” Satoru clenched his teeth as he watched Suguru pause his movements before putting the cigarette packet back in his pants. He couldn’t even bother to smoke now that he can feel his best friend’s rising temper. He wanted to protect Satoru’s feelings and you from whatever he might say or do if Suguru admits the truth. But it was like he can almost hear your voice, reminding him to just say the truth instead of stacking up the lies.

“Yeah.” Satoru’s hand clenched as he looked away, swallowing away his wrath as the images of you and Suguru doing it in the bed you once shared played before his eyes. Did you think like this when he was away with Rie too? It’s driving him insane. The thought of it, the idea of it was squeezing his heart, shattering his very core as strings of whispered curses rushed past his lips. Satoru can almost hear your voice calling out Suguru’s name and he can already taste the blood in his mouth.

“When?” Satoru tried to keep his voice calm but failed. There was a big difference in the lighthearted tone of his voice from when he was talking inside the bar to now. “How and why did it happen?” Every word that comes out of his mouth keeps getting louder but Satoru cannot control it. Not when the thoughts of someone else making you feel the same way he did was racing inside his head. “I know I’m not her boyfriend anymore, but what the fuck, Suguru?”

Satoru was panting as he spoke the last part. He can hear his teeth grinding against each other as he clenches them. He waited for his friend to answer, patiently and then, impatiently. He doesn’t know when he grabbed his shoulders to turn him around, quickly grabbing his collar to pull him harshly. Satoru’s eyes were blown wide as he breathed heavily, eyes full of anger, hurt, betrayal, disappointment, and frustration.

“It happened sometime after you tried to get back with Y/N. She was drunk and I was too.” Suguru started, eyebrows furrowed as he remained unmoving even as Satoru’s grip on his shirt got tighter. He’d seen this coming. Of course, he’d get angry. Finding out that your ex did something like that with your best friend is revolting. Some may even consider it unforgivable. Suguru is in the wrong this time and he’s got no plans but to own up to them. No matter how shitty Satoru treated Y/N, he still doesn’t deserve this betrayal.

“And you never told me? I asked you multiple times if there’s something going on between the two of you.” Satoru’s teeth started to tingle from how hard he was clenching his jaw and grinding his molars together. It was starting to get painful and he could feel his hands get colder as his knuckles started to feel numb from the friction with the fabric of his friend's shirt.

“I’m sorry—” Suguru was cut off by a punch from Satoru as he briefly let go of his shirt before pulling him back again, slamming his body against his as he let out all his frustrations through his words, shaking his friend as he glowered at him with bloodshot eyes, red with anger and the strain from fighting back his tears. Suguru couldn’t bring himself to punch back but instead just let his friend shake an answer out of him.

“Did you plan this?”, “Is this Y/N’s way of getting back to me?”, “Will you ever tell me if I didn’t ask?” The questions kept pushing their way out of Satoru’s lungs, taking his breath away with them, and leaving him panting. “What did you do? Tell me everything.” Satoru glared directly at Suguru who was now wiping the blood off his chin. His eyebrows furrowed as he hung his head down in shame.

“I…I touched her.” Suguru started but was quickly cut off by Satoru’s growl, “How?” He tried to steady his breaths as he took a step away from his best friend as if controlling himself not to throw another hit on him for the sake of the answers that he was trying to get out of him. It was hard. Especially when the images of the woman you love being pleasured by someone else keep flickering before your eyes.

“We didn’t do it, Satoru. I touched her but she didn’t touch me. I left before something worse could happen—” Curses flew out of Satoru’s mouth as if Suguru just gave him the dumbest explanation ever. “You think that changes anything?” He chuckled bitterly, his eyes are now more sad than angry. Satoru shook his head, mouth twitching as he backed away, letting go of Suguru’s shirt.

“Were you just waiting for me to fuck up before you pull some shit like this?” Satoru chuckled, looking at Suguru like he just caught up on his plans but Suguru knew that it was nonexistent. What happened between the two of you just happened. He’d never plot something like this against his friend. He’d never thought of it. No matter how much he wanted you, he never wished ill about your and Satoru’s relationship.

“I wouldn’t do that to you—” Suguru was once again interrupted when Satoru grabbed his shirt again, with both hands this time. “But you did! You know how vulnerable she was!” Suguru flinched, his brows pulling together as he let his friend let all his anger out. He cannot blame Satoru for thinking that way. Suguru knows damn well that anyone who’d hear the story would think that he took advantage of you and the situation you were going through.

“Did you think it would make her love you? Did you think that after all these years, that’s all it would take to make her love you?” It was painful to hear those words because Suguru knows the answer to them. Not once has he and Satoru talked about their feelings for you even if it was not a secret to them and Shoko. “Don’t think that just because I fucked up, you can love her more than I do. You cannot take my place, Suguru. You weren’t even able to get her back then when we weren’t together, what makes you think you’d get her now?”

It was now Suguru’s turn to throw a strong punch at his friend, sending him staggering backward. To get angry at him for the betrayal that he did was one thing but to bring up the past that he was struggling to forget every day was another. Thoughts of what ifs and what could’ve been haunted him from the moment he gave you away. And to hear about it now is just another bullet in his heart. The first sentences were hurtful enough even though he knows that he deserved it.

“You know why she never fell for me!” Suguru spat back, panting as he stopped himself from throwing another punch. He should be the one being beaten because of what he did but he just can’t let it go. He’s been keeping it all to himself for the sake of his friendship with Satoru and you. Suguru decided that if he was going to remind him of it then, he might as well repeat to him why he got you too.

“I loved her first!” Suguru shouted, finally letting go of all the words that he’s been dying to say. In all those moments that you were with him, in every tear that he wipes away from your eyes part of him regrets just giving up on you. He couldn’t count how many times he wondered if surrendering was the right choice he made.

“I really like Y/N, you know?” Satoru threw the small pebble across the road, letting it tumble on the hot pavement before coming to a stop under the streetlight as it hit its pole. To be honest, Suguru doesn’t know how to respond to him and that’s why he kept quiet, waiting for Satoru to say more about his feelings for you. Suguru can already feel how complicated it would be if he told him his.

“And you do, too. Right?” Satoru chuckled, elbowing his side. Suguru looked at him, there was nothing but seriousness on his face. He can’t find it in himself to laugh when he’s aware of how profound his emotions toward you are. And knowing his friend, Satoru might downplay a lot of things but Suguru knows him too much to not understand the underlying meaning of his statements.

“I…” Suguru heard the air passing through his teeth as he inhaled sharply, Suguru didn’t like how he hesitated to tell him the story as if it was something so big of a deal. Satoru is a man who speaks his mind, so for him to pause before saying something to Suguru made him feel like he was about to open up about a serious topic.

“We…something happened between Y/N and I.” Satoru sounded very steady as he let the sentence flow out of his mouth. Like it’s something he’s been rehearsing just to tell Suguru. “Look, I’m not trying to one-up you or anything. It just happened, we were hanging out and you were busy.” Satoru turned his body to him. All of a sudden everything was just quiet. The distant sound of cars speeding down the empty street in the middle of the night was loud even if it was out of sight.

“You know I was trying to pursue her,” Suguru replied, sighing heavily as he untied his shoes just to do something with his hands. He felt helpless after what Satoru said and he was already subconsciously admitting his defeat. Satoru shifted beside him, running a hand through his hair as he shook his head slowly, making Suguru chuckle.

“I…You never told me. You didn’t tell her either. It was never confirmed, how am I supposed to know?” Satoru doesn’t want to ruin his friendship with Suguru. He had a feeling that he liked Y/N more than others but he didn’t think that he was that serious about it. He cannot find it in himself to let you slip away too.

“Look, It wasn’t intentional. Had I known that you feel like that for her I would’ve—” Satoru turned his body to Suguru, stopping himself when he saw his best friend looking down. With his lips pursed, Suguru turned to Satoru. He was expecting him to have an angry look on his face, a look of betrayal. Satoru wanted him to be mad at him for being so careless with his feelings but Suguru just smiled at him. A light chuckle escaped his lips as he stood up, tapping Satoru’s shoulder in the process.

“It’s cool. I’ll get over it.” His hand instinctively reached out for the lighter in his pocket, pulling it out to play with it as silence took over everything. “Just…make her happy. Don’t play with her, Satoru.” Suguru glanced at him briefly over his shoulders. Satoru could only sigh as he watched Suguru’s back. He knows that Suguru is a nice guy, but he can’t help but feel like he should’ve been more observant of how he treated you.

“I know you’re thinking about giving way, Satoru. You can’t do that. It’ll only get awkward for the three of us; especially for Y/N, you know?” It took everything in him to make the conversation sound as light as it can be; in contrast with the heavy feeling in his chest—almost as if he was being dragged down by the ground. Almost as if it’s wanting to swallow him whole.

Happy crushes shouldn’t feel like this.

Just like back then, Satoru couldn’t answer. He doesn’t know what to say when his best friend just slapped him with the truth that’s been lurking in his shadows all this time. He knows that he’s got no business talking about how Suguru wouldn’t get you when the only reason that kept him away from you was Satoru. Had his best friend not held back from you before, would you be stuck with him now? It’s almost as if it was a butterfly effect. Things wouldn’t be like this now if you were with the better man.

Satoru wouldn’t want to hear that from you, though. He doesn’t want to hear you regret not noticing his best friend first when he could’ve been the better option for you. Satoru would only get this selfish with you. Even when he doesn’t have the right to. It’s just too painful to think about how he’d probably never be enough for all the love that you are ready to give. He’s not worthy of it but that doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t work for years just to be deserving of it.

“Don’t tell me that you love her more, you’ve done too much to convince me of that,” Suguru added, wiping the corner of his mouth as he panted, calming himself down. To be perfectly honest, he was already over it all. He wasn’t praying for his best friend to fuck up just to get a chance with you. He loves you but he’s way past the stage of being jealous of Satoru. But it’d be a lie if he said he never wished it was him to sleep next to you during the first months of your relationship.

He just slowly got over it. Realizing that seeing you every day, smiling and fine is enough for him. Realizing that he’d be able to be close to you, to look after you, even as a friend is enough for him. But they were right. It’s easy to fall back in love with someone you already loved before—very easy.

Because if it’s not, he wouldn’t be putting his heart on the line, the moment Satoru messed with you. He wouldn’t be holding your hand as you fall asleep beside him at night, with tears streaming down your face as you whimper your heartbreaker’s name. He wouldn’t be breaking his barriers just to make sure you’re getting all the attention you need even if it means crushing his own heart again. Suguru isn’t dumb. He knows that you don’t plan on getting into anything serious with him but that became fine for him too. A sad reality that he woke up to every day but is only accepting today.

You only wanted the comfort and kindness that he gave you. But you never wanted his everything as you did with Satoru. Like he did with you.

You just didn’t want to be lonely, and he just happened to be there with you.

“I know I’m wrong, Satoru. It was a moment of weakness, what else can I do?” Suguru muttered, jaw clenching as his nails dug into his palm. “Bringing up the past wouldn’t fix it. I don’t even know how to make this shit up to you.” His voice almost broke at the last part.

Satoru just stood there, looking at him as a single tear rolled down to his chin. He quickly ran a hand through his face, sighing violently as he looked away from Suguru. It’s like a crash from the wrath that he was feeling earlier. It still hurts. Knowing about what happened that night is a thorn in his heart. Something that he wouldn’t bother to pull out even if it killed him—even if he was stepped on too.

Because if one looks closely and traces all the events that had happened and are happening now, he would always be the main cause.

It was his actions that led everything and all of you to this mess. Suguru watches as Satoru straightens his posture, running a hand through his hair as his lips quiver ever so slightly. “Was Y/N planning to tell me the truth?” Satoru spoke, turning to his right as his eyes looked straight ahead. There was nothing but sorrow in his light blue eyes as he bit his inner lip.

“Yes. It’s been bothering her but she cannot find the right time.” Satoru sighed loudly, nodding slowly as he slightly turned his head to look at the ground between him and Suguru. “Don’t stress her out because of this, if you’re mad just take it out on me,” Suguru added, worried that Satoru might confront you about it. “And don’t suspect her of anything else, Satoru. You know she wouldn’t do something like that.”

“She’s pregnant with my child, what makes you think I’d do that to her?” Satoru emphasizes the term of possession. As if trying to prove something with it, when in reality, that’s just him reassuring himself. He’s agitated by the fact that Suguru could tell where his accusations are going. He pushed them all aside, not wanting to think like that about you.

“I know what’s good and bad for her,” Satoru added quietly, too drained to start anything again anymore. Suguru could only watch as Satoru walked away from him, quick to find his car and eager to go back to you.

—---------------------------

Three knocks at the door made Y/N’s eyes widen in shock as she looked back at it. Turning off the stove, she trudged towards the door but not before peeking through the hole. Seeing the father of the growing child in her womb, she opened the door. Her blank face faltered at the obvious redness of Satoru’s eyes.

“Why?” Y/N questioned but still stepped aside to let the man in. Satoru sighed at the warm air inside the room. It’s always warm near Y/N. He thought letting the comforting atmosphere that he was feeling despite the cold welcome that you gave him. It’s like he’s already contented to know that you are still letting him around you, to be near you even after all that he’s done. Maybe you’re only doing it for the sake of your baby but it still made Satoru hopeful.

“Nothing. I had a few drinks. Are you cooking?” Satoru gave a small smile as he stepped inside, peering at the kitchen as he changed the topic. He knows that you noticed but he can’t have you stressing about anything now. It’s not easy to hide the evidence of how much he poured his feelings out while he drove. Stopping at the dimly lit parts of the street just because he can’t see anything in front of him.

“Yeah.” You closed the door, not taking your eyes off of him as he walked to your kitchen, removing his jacket on his way to place it on the couch. Your eyes followed the clothing, staring at it blankly for a few seconds, before shaking your head, blinking as you snapped the thoughts out of your head.

“Why are you here?” You walked to the kitchen, seeing him turn the stove on again. He glanced at you briefly before focusing on the dish again. “I figured you’d probably want something to eat.” He took a deep breath, trying to think of a way to sound collected. “I was thinking about calling you to ask if you want something but you don’t like fast food nowadays, right?” He smiled at you, tapping the spatula on the lip of the pan.

“M-hm.” You hummed pulling a chair out to sit, “Where were you?” You reached over to grab the apple sitting inside the basket in the middle of your kitchen table. You heard the stove turn off before Satoru laughed lightly, “I went drinking with Suguru after he closed his shop. Just a light drink.” His hand brushed your shoulder in a soothing manner as he walked behind you, grabbing a plate.

“Why? Did you miss me?” He teased as he tried to carefully put the food on the plate before putting it in front of you. You scoffed, “You wish.” You grabbed the spoon and fork that he was handing out to you, hearing him chuckle. He continued to move around your kitchen, placing a tall glass on the table as he poured you some orange juice. You chewed your food as you watched the vibrant color fill the transparent glass.

“Did he miss me?” He asked you, making you look up at him. He was staring at you with eyes softer than before. There was a hint of tiredness behind it but the glimmer of affection is what made you sigh. “He?” You raised your eyebrow after swallowing, giving him a small smirk as you stood up to grab the glass in front of him. “What makes you so sure that it’s a he?” You sat back down, rubbing your stomach as you gave a small smile. Thinking about it now, you’re excited to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl.

“I just feel it.” He shook his head, holding back his smile. “What if we get twins?” You looked down, voicing out your thoughts as you got lost in your head, thinking about how you’ll buy little clothes and shoes for your little one and how you’ll paint a room and decorate it. In the corner of your eye, you could see Satoru pulling out the chair beside you. You looked at him to see him leaning his head on his hand, watching you in awe.

“That sounds nice.” He breathed out, feeling lightheaded because of the growing intensity of his feelings for you. Just when he thought that it couldn’t get any stronger, you showed him that there’s always more of you to love. Satoru prayed in his mind, talking to the heavens above that one day he could call you his again.

“We should think of a nickname, you know?” His hand slowly reached out, caressing your stomach as you put down your utensils. His hand is warm and it almost made you forget all the events and thoughts that you experienced earlier. There was comfort in his touch as you turned to your side to give him more access.

Satoru knelt down in front of you, placing both of his large hands on your tummy. He looked up at you, watching your eyes for a moment before scooting closer until he was in between your thighs. He let out a long sigh before pressing his forehead on your stomach.

“Mama and Dada will be fine.” He whispered quietly and you almost didn’t catch it. He sounds so vulnerable, so miserable. He’s always sounded like that but this time there was more pain lacing his voice. He kissed your stomach, letting his lips rest there for a couple of seconds before completely wrapping his arms around your waist, pressing the side of his face against you. He was like a child, looking for solace.

And so you reached your hand to his hair, running your fingers through it as you feel him pull you closer. You let your hand run down the back of his neck to his shoulders and back. He looked up at you with glassy eyes. You almost got worried when he suddenly gave you a small smile. Was he so happy that he started to tear up? You thought, feeling the warmth spread on your chest.

Without noticing, your hands gently moved from his shoulder blades to his face, cupping his cheeks as your traced his jaw. His eyes closed, leaning into your touch, holding your hand in place as he savored the feeling. When was the last time that you were this affectionate with him? He missed it so much that he almost felt like crying again.

All his questions and sentiments from earlier are now gone and replaced by the longing feeling in his chest. It has been so long that he almost forgot how good it felt to be held in your arms. This is what he’s been craving all this time. Before he ruined everything, this was how you touched him. He settled for someone else’s touch, having forgotten how loved he feels with you.

If you give up on getting what feels right for you, you’ll end up having to make do with what is available to you.

Realizing all of this now made Satoru think that he has had that “It’s not really what I want but it works.” moment in his life with Rie. “Can I sleep here tonight?” He asked you, enveloping your hand in his. They were cold and you wouldn’t miss the slight tremble in his flesh. You don’t exactly know what happened but you got an idea of what he talked about with Suguru while drinking. You let your teeth dig in the skin of your lips as you bit it. Guilt and shame crawling up your throat. You feel bad about it, even more now that you can almost feel Satoru’s body begging to stay near you.

“I’ll just sleep on the couch. Please.” Satoru needs it. He needs to know that you’re with him. Even if not with your whole heart, Satoru needs to know that he’s not as helpless as he really feels when it comes to you. He needs to know that there’s still a little bit of hope that he could cling to.

“It’s fine.” You murmured, letting him kiss your knuckles as he whispered ‘thank you’s’ on them. “Are you hungry? I’m sorry, I’ll let Mama eat now. ” He spoke to your stomach again, making you laugh a little. You wanted to snap at him when he showed up at your door unannounced but all of that is gone now.

He stood up and sat on the chair letting you eat in comfortable silence as he softly spoke of his plans for your baby. It’s like he’s had it all thought out and listed. Even when you were still dating, you didn’t think that he’d be this excited. It made you wonder if everything could’ve been prevented had your pregnancy happened earlier in your relationship.

On the other hand, it made you scared; not for yourself but for your child. If you had your baby earlier and those events still happened, you wouldn’t know what to do. Would Satoru do that if he already had a kid with you? It made your guts churn as the stinging throb in your chest made it harder for you to swallow.

Time flew by, faster than it usually does. Maybe it’s because of Satoru’s head on your chest as his hand caressed your lower stomach, whispering gently to the growing life inside you. You didn’t have it in you to deny him or push him off. Not when you can hear all his pain in his voice. You know that your mother’s statements about your relationship with Satoru isn’t entirely impossible but you’re giving it your all not to spiral down again for the sake of your child.

When the morning came, you woke up to the smell coming from your kitchen. The sky looks kind as the rising sun shone a gentle light on your windows. You rubbed your eyes, wondering why Satoru’s up so early. You can’t even remember how you fell asleep last night. The last thing you remember was the warm touch of lips against your forehead, paired with the light touch of his hand on your tummy.

You were about to get up and wash your face when the door to your bedroom opened slowly. The creaking sound halted your movements as Satoru peeked in, smiling before letting himself in when he saw you awake. “I was going to ask you if you feel like having your breakfast here. I know you were not a fan of breakfasts in bed.” He chuckled, closing the door carefully before walking to you.

“Still not a fan of it.” You laughed as you stood up, stretching. Satoru pushed your hair back, away from your face. You sighed as you closed your eyes, your eyelids still heavy from your slumber. You heard Satoru chuckle, pulling you to him and letting you rest your head on his chest. It felt like all tthe tension from the other was just leaving your body today. You mentally thanked yourself for letting Satoru sleep over. The way his palm rubbed up and down your back soothed you. “Let’s go eat. This little bean is hungry.” You ushered, pulling him out of the room.

You spent your breakfast taking small glances at Satoru, occasionally catching him staring lovingly at you, something he never bothered to hide or deny whenever you ask him why. There was more than enough food for two people but you didn’t mind, given the increase in your appetite.

“Just leave the plates on the table. I’ll be washing them.” He spoke to you as he poured more milk in your glass. You hummed, thanking him as he passed it to you. Satoru changed a lot ever since he found out about your pregnancy. When he’s working, he texts you ever hour just to ask if you need anything. You remember how annoyed you were during the first few weeks. You still get annoyed sometimes but not right now when he’s literally serving you like a queen.

“You’ve been doing so much already. This is my house.” You spoke to him, setting down the half empty glass of milk in front of you. Satoru’s back is facing you as he washed the plates. His arms was on full display in his tank tops and you can’t help but notice how his muscles flexed everytime he moved. You took a deep breath, reminded yourself that it’s just because of pregnancy hormones and picked up your phone to distract yourself before he could he even glance back at you to answer.

“And that is my child. I’m not letting you do anything if I could do it for you.” His answer made you laugh. He wiped his hand as he completely turned to you, watching you throw your head back. Satoru wished that it would always be like this. He doesn’t care if you won’t give him answers to his questions, he just want you to be this happy even when he’s around.

“You got a point.” You drank the rest of the milk in your glass as he pulled the chair in front of you. “Let me get you a new place.” He spoke suddenly, making you look up from your phone. “It has to be more spacious than this one so the child can run around or play.” Satoru wanted to offer to buy a home for the three of you, but he doesn’t know how you’d react to that, considering that you only want him around for the baby.

“I can get one. I have savings.” You heard him sigh softly, pursing his lips as he shook his head. “I can’t let you do that.” Satoru got used to picking the words when talking to you. He understands that you’re very sensitive nowadays and he knows that he can’t afford to have you lashing out and locking him out of your apartment again.

“Why not? It’s fine by me. I’ll be living there too.” You tried to reason, surprisingly calmer than how Satoru thought you’d be. “You won’t let me sleep over?” Satoru tried lifting the mood a bit, the small smile in his lips caused you to smile too. “No. What if you bring your girlfriend? I don’t want her near my child.” You narrowed your eyes playfully at him and now, it’s his turn to laugh at your little drama.

“Who said I’m getting a girlfriend?” He threw his head back like you just said the funniest joke on Earth. “It’s not impossible!” You defended yourself, letting a small frown take over your features as he leaned forward to watch your face before speaking again, “I’m determined about trying to make it work with you. I won’t get a girlfriend, Y/N.” There was a tone of assurance in his voice and for some reason it calmed you down.

“There’s no guarantee to that. What if someone comes along? There’s no way to stop yourself from falling for someone.” You talked more seriously to him, leaning back on your chair and thinking about how it would be if Satoru were to have someone in his life. You don’t like it. You don’t like how the thoughts are making you feel. Maybe it’s because you don’t want your child having to fight for his attention or maybe it’s because you don’t like the idea of your child spending time with Satoru’s new girlfriend instead of you.

What if your child becomes closer to them than you? There was an image of them walking away from you in your head and it felt like someone was squeezing your heart. You thought about how his new girlfriend could make your child feel like they were his whole, real and happy family. Then your child would probably feel like it’s better to be with them than alone with you and you don’t know if you could take that.

“Hey. I know what you’re thinking, it’s not going to happen.” Satoru’s hand felt warm against yours but you couldn’t help but snatch it away, furrowing your brows at him, truly annoyed this time. “I don’t care if it does, but my baby is mine.” You clenched your teeth before leaving the kitchen and slamming your bedroom door.

Satoru just sighed, finally used to how fast your mood can change. You’d probably come out later when you’re hungry and if you don’t Satoru’s already ready to prepare whatever your cravings to lure you out. A couple of minutes later, his phone started to ring and he was grateful that it was only Shoko. He doesn’t know how he’d talk to Suguru again after what happened.

“How’s Y/N?” Shoko immediately spoke when he answered, “I know about what happened yesterday. It’s not the best season to ask Y/N.” She quickly added and Satoru nodded like she could see him before answering, “I didn’t tell her, I won’t. Don’t worry about that. And she’s fine. She just walked out on me while we were having a conversation, probably thought herself into a bad mood again.”

“Thought herself into a bad mood? You just said that you were having a conversation. It must be something you said.” There was a hint of protectiveness in Shoko’s tone and Satoru bit his lip and closed his eyes. “We were talking about the possibility of me getting a girlfriend and I tried to assure her that I wouldn’t because I’m still hoping to work things out with her. Then, she probably thought about all the ways that it could affect the child and got angry.” He explained with a heavy sigh and a scratch on his head.

“That’s valid, though.” Shoko spoke from the other end and Satoru hummed, “Yeah, I understand. I just gotta think about how to put her mind at rest about those kinds of things.” He stood up to put away and wash the glass that you left on the table. After that, Satoru could only hum and agree to all the things that Shoko was advising him, knowing that it’s all for your good.

“I’ll drop by her apartment some time. My schedule’s kinda getting better. Tell her I said hi.” Shoko said before saying goodbye. Satoru could almost see her with a cigarette hanging between her lips from the way she sounded.

Satoru bit his upper lip as he leaned on the kitchen counter. He’s been thinking about going back to your mother’s office to apologize for all that has happened until now. He wants to let them know that he’s sure and resolute about getting you back again. He knows that your parents don’t trust him, but he’s determined to change that; not only through his words but also his actions. He wants to do all that he can just to prove it to you and to them.

_______________________________________

Two Weeks Later

“How many meetings do I have left for today?” Your mother asked her assistant as she struts out of the business partner’s building, completely ignoring all the greetings and bows that she was getting as she fixed her earring. “Three meetings, ma’am. I already moved the two from tomorrow afternoon to today, and the overseas meeting is the only one left for tomorrow.” The girl beside her spoke, making her nod as they walked past the glass doors to the car waiting for them.

“Good. It’s because I doubt we’d get back in time if the first one’s an overseas flight. The traffic sucks.” Your mother uttered as her secretary closed the car door. She has been worried about you ever since that day in her office. Her husband’s words only made her think about it more. She knows that she was harsh to you, but she’d never forgive herself if something happened to you or your child.

Your mother doesn’t like showing you how she really feels whenever you get yourself in trouble. She’d rather have you thinking that you have to pull your own tail if you mess up than thinking that you got someone to cover up for the mistakes that you make. You’re already independent, now she can see that you’re also trying to be responsible for your actions.

She was about to get her phone and send you a text just as the car started to move, but only a few shops away from the building that they just came out of, a familiar white hair caught her attention. “Slow down for a bit.” She commanded the driver who instantly obeyed, watching from the rearview mirror as your mother tried to get a clear view of the outside.

It’s Satoru, in front of an establishment, appearing to be waiting for someone as he typed away on his phone. Is he meeting with you? Friends? Maybe business matters. Your mother thought, leaning back, contemplating if she should tell her driver to keep moving or step out for a bit just to greet him. And of course, to ask about her daughter too. Your mother has already decided about greeting him when a girl rushed to Satoru, grabbing his arm as she stood close to him. Too close for comfort. Yet, he doesn’t seem fazed.

Your mother’s eyes narrowed at the sight. It was the girl that you went after in her office, the errand girl. She knew that she’s not just an interesting woman to you. And she’s definitely not just an acquaintance of Satoru. Not by the way he pulled her away from plain sight to a more hidden spot in between the buildings.

“Move the car forward a bit. Don’t let those two spot us.” Your mother spoke sternly to the driver, not taking his eyes away from Satoru who is now facing the woman again. It made your mother’s blood boil. Even with his back turned to your mother, she could see how the tip of the woman’s shoe is almost touching his and her hands still gripping his arm. Now, that is not how close you stand to your acquaintances.

She tried to search for her phone in her bag but she couldn’t afford to take her eyes away from the enraging scene in front of her. “Hey, you.” She hurriedly tapped her assistant’s shoulder multiple times, “Film it.” She ordered as she gave a bit of space for her. The girl quickly pulled out her phone and did her best to get a clear shot of the two.

There’s no way in hell that I’d let you fool my daughter again.

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randomnumbers751650 · 7 months

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Talking about a ship for me is complicated because the feeling that I might be missing something or extrapolating too much. But still, I want to talk about Kafka/Blade.

Since HSR is a gacha, the chances of playable characters having romantic relationships are very low, so the fans have to pick the crumbs. Sometimes it’s pretty much obvious the devs want certain characters together, but the hand of the gacha business model holds them back. Other times, not really, maybe the devs are really aiming for platonic or other. And, of course, fans are free to interpret their own. So, I’m here to give my interpretation of KafBlade, why it called my attention.

From their interactions, they are working together and they have a level of affection: Kafka calls him Bladie (and he’s upset if others call him by that), Blade loves hearing her singing and is receptive to her whispers; they also seem to have good synergy in the battlefield. It also works in accomplishing missions, with Kafka’s lack of fear making her prone to injuries and Blade acting as her immortal bodyguard. Plus, there’s the implication they had to fake being a couple for a mission, which I hope it never gets a full flashback because imagining how it went is funnier. How they complement each other is what makes them so interesting.

They are both fundamentally broken people. We know Blade’s story, but it’s pretty implied Kafka has some tragedy in the closet (with Blade commenting he doesn’t want to see her sad; would it really be surprising?). And, they are villains after all.

But still, what I see in them is how they can still experience with each other things that they couldn’t imagine to experience or that they thought that they’d never experience. For example, Kafka is a liar. It’s a strength in her job, to the point even when she’s telling the truth it still feels she’s lying. She uses her whispers to dominate men and then discard them when they’ve done their jobs. She goes full “nothing personnel, kid”, because for her everything is just a job.

And then, one day, appears a guy who’s like “can you do that again?” A guy who wants to be whispered, whose lies sooth and motivate him. And then she learns he’s an immortal that wants to die and then she decides that she’ll help, but that she will strive to make his life more fun until that day because he amuses you. She has no feelings for him, because she has no feelings at all (or are very different from what normal people think to be); either she wasn’t born with them or the organization she learned her skills remove them, but still she just wants to make him feel good about his journey to death.

Blade is similar: he wants revenge. He crafted his entire life and used all his bladesmith skills to pursue that goal; it’s easy to imagine him forgoing everything, his feelings, his self-care, eating whatever slop he puts on his face, a very miserable life. And then one day a woman appears saying “join me” and she’s actually…fun to be around. Sure, they are using each other to their respective objectives, but there’s something more to it. He starts to pick her habits and helps her whenever she needs carry her stuff. And then he starts to wonder that, yes, his life sucks, but it sucks a bit less with her around. The blade he crafted for revenge can be used to protect, unexpectedly.

It should be noted that the devs already had opportunities to portray their relationship as toxic and abusive, but they haven’t. I’m not sure I’d call healthy either, but there seems to be a mutual respect and trust about them. I mean, they are dangerous (along with the rest of the Stellaron Hunters, Silverwolf, Sam and Elio himself (it’d be really funny if he was the cat)), but still it’s not hard to imagine them as a found family. We have to wait for future updates to see how they’ll be developed, but their Team Rocket dynamic with the heroes is fun.

One last thing is how I think it’s funny that KafBlade is “what if Gojo and Marin (from My Dress Up Darling) were evil?”. Kafka is the extroverted girl that loves shopping and fashion, while Blade is the recluse artist, but that grew bitter - as Yingxing, he was one the best bladesmiths of the Xianzou, he knows what beauty is (also please read the fanfic “dal segno al fine”, it really captures this side of his) – and would be reluctant even if Kafka’s feelings were like Marin’s; Kafka would have to have a lot of patience, but I think she’s not one to give up once she set up a goal.

I didn’t really review their text and quotes, I’m remembering all of it in the game and some comments in the internet. Even so, I wonder if others share these thoughts on them, especially the fact they bring out things that were previously kinda buried in each other, so it has potential for a more mature love story.

#honkai star rail #kafblade #blafka #kafka x blade #blade x kafka #again this is how i extrapolate #but still i never understood the term comfort ship until now #of course it also has potential for their interaction even as platonic #or platonic in the lack of a better term #stellaron hunters

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cosmicjoke · 1 year

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Ugh, alright, it is ANNOYING me that people are saying that Gojo’s supposed lack of response to the deaths of Nanhami and the others is “in character”, and citing certain panels and instances of him acting apathetic or unbothered by serious situations as proof that he doesn’t care about anyone or isn’t emotionally affected by anyone’s death. I call BS on that, big time.

The very fact that Gojo got sealed away in the first place is proof in and of itself that he’s emotionally impacted. Kenjeku got the jump on him, and was ONLY able to get the jump on him because he knew he would have an emotional response to seeing Geto’s body up and about, and it would give him enough time to spring his trap.

I don’t get how people can miss this about Gojo’s character, but I’m gonna’ spell it out for all of you who don’t seem to have functioning brains. Gojo’s attitude of apathy is an act. It’s a facade, a mask he wears to protect himself emotionally. He’s DEEPLY affected by the pain and suffering of his friends, and by the deaths of others. He reached the level of power he currently has because he was so devastated by the events of the Hidden Inventory arc. These same people who say Gojo’s apparent lack of emotion now tracks with his personality, even talking about how he killed his best friend like it wasn’t a big deal, conveniently ignore the way Gojo reacted when he realized he was going to have to kill Geto. He was devastated, and he couldn’t bring himself to do it at first. He only did it after he was left no choice, when Geto began to threaten his students.

So get the fuck outta’ here with this bullshit that Gojo doesn’t care, or has no real emotion toward anyone, or that there’s something wrong with him, like he’s a sociopath or something. He isn’t. Acting apathetic is just his way of coping with the pain he’s feeling. It’s always been that way. He acts like a detached goofball so he can keep functioning in a world and in a life which has, essentially, robbed him of everything he cares about.

Why the hell do you think he wanted so badly to change the way the Jujutsu world works? Why do you think he was trying to raise a next generation of students who would create a better Jujutsu world in which nobody had to die alone?

So people complaining about not seeing enough emotion from Gojo after his unsealing have a right to, because they understand that Gojo’s apathy isn’t who he really is. I see some lording it over these people as if they have a superior understanding, or better comprehension of Gojo and the story, which is hilarious, because it’s the exact opposite. People that thought and expected to see Gojo being more upset are the ones who have the better understanding of his character and the story.

With that said, I’m sure that Gojo IS incredibly upset, he’s just not showing it, as usual, because he has a job to accomplish. But to think that he’s unaffected by all of this is absurd. He is. I promise he is.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #Gojo Satoru

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ootahime · 3 years

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analyzing every gojohime moment in the manga 😈

this series will probably have more than one part because tumblr only lets me upload ten images per post </3

warning: there are disgustingly long paragraphs in here and delusions

chapter 32

utahime’s first introduction! akutami lets us know right off the bat that she thinks gojo is an idiot (so true).

chapter 32

i love the contrast between miwa and utahime’s reaction to gojo’s appearance.

chapter 33

NAH BC TELL ME WHY HE WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO NOT GET HER ONE LMAOOOO!! when he traveled overseas to meet with yuta, he picked up the tribal protection charms and thought to himself, “let’s get enough for the kyoto students as a gift since i am such a great and caring teacher, after all. mmm, i should skip utahime to make her mad~” this guy puts way too much effort into getting on her nerves. his mind = utahime brainrot

chapter 33

she’s laughing at him here because he’s getting disciplined for being a lil shit. i wonder...what would he say if he saw her laughing at him like that?

chapter 33

this interaction between them is a little strange don’t you think? i feel like over the years he’s learned how to pick up her mood based on the way she’s acting towards him. you’re probably thinking, “well any person can figure out how a person’s feeling based on the way they’re talking or acting.” yes, that’s absolutely true, but it’s kind of different with this. she’s acting normal. utahime has a rather indifferent expression on her face and what she says is spoken in a calm tone, but gojo still asks her if she’s mad at him. it’s likely that he knows her well enough to be able to notice these subtle things. even if she wasn’t actually mad at him, he was being considerate for a split second, then he went and said, “of course. i didn’t do anything wrong and all.” what a guy LOLOL. to me, this implies that maybe he made her genuinely angry in the past to the point where he realized that he went too far, and thus decided to be more careful of her feelings. she has definitely gotten annoyed at him so many times after that so whenever she seems angry, he probably asks himself if he took it too far. i’m curious to see if he can pick up if she’s upset with something that’s not involving him. would he console her? how does gojo satoru console someone?

despite him always annoying her, she’s still courteous and brings him a cup of tea during their talk. she didn’t have to go out of her way to get tea for him but she did. that’s the kind of person utahime is. a kind and caring woman who would never put her students in danger. in the anime they were sitting far away and not facing each other like they’re doing in the manga. she also has her own tea cup. i think that little panel of her placing the cup down on the table and him picking it up to take a sip is a nice little detail. it just proves that her hating him most of the time isn’t actually pure hatred but annoyance because of his shenanigans and teasing.

chapter 33

i touched upon this a little bit in my previous post, but i wish to go more in depth about this panel. first of all, he ends the sentence with her name twice. two times too many, mr. gojo. i like how they can be serious with each other too LOL. i wish we got to see them talk about the traitors because they did figure it out together after all. does it always end in bickering? can they interact with each other like adults all the way through? somehow, i feel like that’s not possible when it comes to these two. furthermore, notice how gojo confides in utahime about his suspicions. from what we know, she is the first person he brought it up to. i mean, i guess he has to start investigating the schools and would need extra assistance to save time, but he could have done it himself if he really wanted to. by deciding to ask for her help we know that he thinks she’s trustworthy, smart, and strong enough to face whatever considerable risks this task may entail.

i didn’t point this out in my other posts but see how he makes a hand sign in the last panel when she throws the cup at him? gojo is manually activating his infinity. why though? about a year after the whole star plasma vessel incident happened, gojo develops the ability to keep his infinity up at all times by using the reversed curse technique to consistently heal himself to prevent exhaustion. this means that it really makes no difference whether he leaves it on or off. there are a few times where we can witness someone actually touching gojo. for example, yuuji giving him a hug. did he turn his infinity off, or was it able to deduce that yuuji was not a threat? the erasers and pencils shoko and geto threw at him during his demonstration of his new ability aren’t dangerous normally, but is it the speed that makes them dangerous? even if it did hit him, it wouldn’t hurt. how does the infinity know when to allow an incoming object to touch gojo? i believe it is up to gojo himself to let things touch him; his infinity restricts anything and anyone. some people say it could just be the fact that water is not dangerous to him, so therefore, he has to manually put his infinity up. i thought this was a reasonable explanation as to why he put up the hand sign when the tea was thrown at him, but then i realized that it couldn’t be. remember the second opening? it’s raining and everyone is carrying an umbrella, then it pans to gojo with a bouquet in his hand and rain drops slipping off his infinity. if he DID manually put his infinity up to prevent getting soaked then that implies that he chose to turn his infinity off. you can argue and say that jujutsu high is a safe place with students so there’s no need to have his infinity there, but do you remember when he stepped on the ants in front of gakuganji and yaga? the ants were perfectly fine after which insinuates that his infinity prevented his shoes from crushing the ants. he most likely had his infinity on during the baseball game even though he was in a safe environment. how does this long tangent relate back to utahime? well, it simply indicates that gojo trusts utahime so much to the point where he can be vulnerable around her. turning off his infinity symbolizes completely letting down his guard in a way.

how about what happens next? utahime throws the tea at him, he turns on his infinity to deflect it, and he responds with, “scary! hysteric women aren’t popular, you know!” why would he even say that LMAO?? utahime doesn’t even try to deny what he said either. she just hits him with the good old, “i am your senpai!” could it be that he’s trying to poke fun of her relationship status? maybe, maybe not. doesn’t he like people a lil crazy? he did say that all jujutsu sorcerers have to be a little crazy because they’re willing to put themselves in danger constantly.

chapter 0 p.1

i wonder who he’s thinking of when he said that. could it be utahime? it seems like he’s reminiscing or thinking about someone. he wears an amused expression on his face as he laughs - almost like he’s seen his fair share of how scary women can get :>>

chapter 34

the pattern behind gojo and utahime is called yagasuri “fletching,” a traditional japanese design. this design is inspired by arrow fletching. it's a lucky charm for weddings and other celebrations since it's based on the Japanese belief that an arrow shot once never comes back. brides were given kimonos with this pattern for good luck during the edo era (1603–1868) to ensure they would not have to return to their original family home. this pattern can have numerous meanings such as steadfastness or determination to achieve a goal, or a wish for the happiness of the bride. there is a belief that a bow and arrow represent the fight against evil. honestly, this meaning fits the narrative of the story. utahime and gojo are unearthing the traitors that are feeding intel to the curse users and cursed spirits. they are in the middle while the kyoto students surround them, which could mean that it’s their job as adults to protect these children from the grasps of evil slowly making itself more prominent. do you also notice that the arrows are pointed toward utahime from gojo? from all the images i’ve seen, the arrows are usually pointed downward. what could this mean? is gojo trying to protect her (in the future (?)) or does he have a big fat crush smh...

i think it’s a good time to mention utahime’s clothing. she’s wearing miko attire. miko are shrine maidens who were once thought to be shamans (you connecting the dots?). in their service to shrines, miko used to perform spirit possession and takusen (in which the possessed person acts as a "medium" (yorimashi) to communicate the divine will or message of that kami (god) or spirit; also included in the category of takusen is "dream revelation" (mukoku), in which a kami appears in a dream to communicate its will). this was back in the old days, of course. to become a miko back then (shaman), one needed to have potential. neurosis, hallucinations, odd behavior, and hysteria (HYSTERIA HELLO???) are some of the signs that a person is being called to shamanism. when a miko is communicating with a kami (god) or spirit by acting as a medium, she is in a trance-like state, and so she must learn techniques to control herself when this happens. chanting and dancing were used to accomplish this, so the girl was taught melodies and intonations that were used in songs, prayers, and magical formulas. all of this could give us insight about utahime’s technique and explains why she’s good at singing :) maybe she can’t control herself when she uses her technique which is why she isn’t shown using it because it should be used for dire situations. i imagine being possessed by a spirit or god must consume a lot of cursed energy. it makes sense that utahime and gakuganji wear traditional clothing. they’re the staff of jujutsu high’s kyoto branch. in chapter 0, kyoto is known as the sacred land of jujutsu. it’s more traditional compared to tokyo. if you want to learn more about miko, you should check out the wikipedia page!

chapter 34

i swear he tries to annoy her every chance he gets. i bet he sets a goal for himself to see how many times utahime lectures him about respecting his seniors every time he’s within the same vicinity as her. at least he called her utahime-sensei!!!

chapter 40

this isn’t even a gojohime moment tbh...i just wanted to share a pic of them sitting next to each other HEHE. why are they sitting next to each other anyway? it’s not like they have assigned seating.

----

that was so long and i apologize for the gargantuan paragraphs you guys had to read through. i’m writing this at 4 in the morning and i’m feeling borderline delirious so i apologize if there are any errors. i’ll edit this when i have time <3

the next part should come shortly.

#gojohime #gouta #gojo x utahime

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happyandticklish · 3 years

Text

Tickletober Day Eleven - Magic

Notes: I sort of took my own interpretation on how cursed energy works here, so if it’s inaccurate, that’s cool, because it’s fiction. Fair warning.

Summary: Itadori shows off a new technique.

Yuji Itadori was someone who Megumi had learned to be cautious of. Despite his friendly demeanor, the cheerful boy could do some serious damage if he wanted to, and was arguably growing to be one of their most powerful sorcerers—excepting Gojo, of course. Though he would never admit it, Megumi sometimes found himself intimidated by the other; if he wasn’t such a good person, Itadori would be a force to be reckoned with.

Megumi had also learned to be wary of his mischievous side, which could be just as troublesome, if not more so.

“Megumi! Megumi!”

A hand clapped down on his shoulder and Megumi jumped, turning around to glare at the other. “I’m right next to you, you know,” he grumbled, shrugging his hand off. “There’s no need to shout.”

Class had just gotten out, and they were the only two left. Gojo had asked Megumi to stay behind to talk to him about their most recent assignment. He had disappeared on some errand almost immediately after, leaving Megumi to linger with a head full of worry about what he could have possibly done wrong. Gojo hadn’t seemed upset with him, but he couldn’t think of what else it could be.

Megumi had assumed he was alone, but evidently that was not the case.

“Sorry,” Itadori apologized, retracting his hand and rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’m just excited is all. I wanted to show you this new trick I learned, with cursed energy!”

Megumi raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued despite himself. He sat back against his desk, crossing his arms. “A new trick? Like a fighting technique?”

Itadori scrunched his face in thought. “Yeah, I guess it could work for fighting. It’s more of an incapacitation thing, though. You know how we can distribute cursed energy throughout our bodies? I was thinking about how cool it would be if we could transfer cursed energy between two different people.”

“Transfer?” Megumi repeated skeptically. “How the hell would you even accomplish that?”

“It didn’t work,” Itadori admitted. “Or at least, I haven’t figured out the secret to it if it is possible. What I discovered instead is even better though. It’s a way to manipulate the cursed energy inside someone else!”

Megumi stared, trying to process his words. What he was saying didn’t make any sense. It was impossible—should be impossible—to harness the cursed energy of another while it resided inside of them.

Realizing he hadn’t said anything for several seconds, he managed, “To what end?”

“Well, the idea would be to try to paralyze the opponent by hardening their own cursed energy around them as a barrier of sorts. I still haven’t figured that part out yet though,” Itadori confessed. “All I can do right now is connect with it. I could show you, if you wanted.”

“Show me?” Megumi tensed. The idea of someone else rooting around inside him and accessing something like cursed energy set him on edge.

Noticing his hesitance, Itadori quickly assured him, “It doesn’t hurt! It’s not like an attack or anything. It just feels a little weird.”

Megumi wanted to refuse him off principle, but he couldn’t help but be intrigued by the concept. If Itadori was telling the truth, it could be revolutionary to the jujutsu sorcerer’s way of fighting. Besides, it probably wouldn’t work anyway. That last thought was both comforting and a little disappointing.

“Fine,” he said at last, trying to sound casual. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. “Just don’t do anything weird to me.”

Itadori brightened instantly, clearly not having expected the other to actually agree to his plan. “You got it! Just give me a moment.”

Itadori closed his eyes in concentration. His brows twitched downwards slightly, as though he was fighting something internally. A couple seconds went by and nothing happened. And then….

Megumi gasped, straightening up in surprise. He could feel Itadori, the presence of him inside himself, like invisible fingers curling around his soul. It was a strange, unusual sensation, one that Megumi wasn’t sure how to accommodate.

And then it started to move.

“Shit!” Megumi doubled over, his arms wrapping around himself protectively. “Oh my god, what the—ah!”

“Megumi?” Itadori’s eyes shot open, glancing at him in concern. “Are you alright? It’s really not supposed to hurt.”

Fuck. Fuck, this was so, so, bad. A grin wobbled on his features, and then a chuckle, and another, and another slipped out, until Megumi was curled over his desk giggling.

Itadori frowned. “Megumi?”

“It t-tihickles!” Megumi squeaked, a hand flying up to his mouth to hold back any more embarrassing noises that might be inclined to slip out. “I can feheheel it and—oh god!”

It was like electricity running along his insides, moving in currents throughout his body. It shouldn’t have tickled, there was no reason why something like cursed energy of all things should tickle, and yet he couldn’t stop the rising urge to rip off his own skin. It was as though someone was running feathers all over his body, but from the inside. The mental image it produced was disturbing, but he could hardly focus on that with the tickles sapping all coherent thought from his mind.

Itadori’s eyes widened, a delighted grin spreading across his face once he realized the other was fine. “It tickles? You mean your own cursed energy is… tickling you?”

Megumi slowly slid against his desk, crumbling to the ground as it got to him. His arms were wrapped tightly around himself but it wasn’t helping and oh god it tickled. “I-Itahadori! Ah! Nohoho!”

“Maybe it’s because I’m controlling it?” Itadori mused innocently. “I never thought it would tickle, though. I’ve never felt my own cursed energy, but since I’m accustomed to its presence there, I suppose I wouldn’t notice it? Like how you don’t think about the space your tongue takes up in your mouth.”

Megumi was hardly listening to him anymore. “S-Stohop moving i-it!” He was a mess of giggles by now, all dignity gone in the face of the unbearably light tickling. He whacked his hand against the ground in protest, though it did little to alleviate his plight. “Ihihitadori!”

“I’m not moving it, man. It must just be coursing through you as it normally does. You’re just, you know, feeling it now.” Itadori smirked a little as he watched the other squirm. “I never realized you were ticklish.”

“Fuhuhuck ohohoff!” Megumi had never felt so helpless before, not in this giddy, uncontrollable way. It tickled way, way too much, but somehow he couldn’t find it in himself to be mad at the other. He knew he hadn’t meant to do it and—well, okay, maybe it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. It was unbearable in a million different ways, but all the same, he couldn’t find it in himself to hate it.

That being said, there was only so much of the strange, not entirely horrible, torture that he could take. “Ihihitadori!” he cackled, switching between furiously rubbing his sides and banging his fist against the ground. “Stohop, stohop, ohoho m-my gohod!”

“Okay, okay, I don’t want to actually drive you insane.”

Itadori closed his eyes once more. He felt where the cursed energy was tethered to him and slowly released it, dropping his hold entirely. Megumi’s squirming calmed as the tickling came to a gradual standstill. He leaned his head back against his desk, giggles still slipping out every once in a while as his body tingled with phantom tickles.

“I can’t believe you giggle,” Itadori said after a moment. “Badass sorcerer Megumi, perpetually grumpy Megumi, giggles.”

“I do not,” Megumi snapped, his cheeks flushing. “That was—I mean—I didn’t—”

“What’s wrong?” Itadori teased, grinning down at him. “Having trouble with your words?”

Megumi’s face went an even darker shade of red if that was possible, and he averted his eyes. “You’re the worst,” he muttered. “I’m actually going to kill you, you know.”

“No you’re not,” Itadori countered, waving one hand dismissively. “You like me too much for that.”

Megumi glared at him because it was true.

“Seriously. Go die in a ditch somewhere.”

#tickle fic #tickletober #jujutsu kaisen #megumi fushiguro #yuji itadori #jjk #tickletober2021 #fanfiction #drabble #tickling

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bakugohoex · 3 years

Text

“you’d better be quiet if you don’t want to get caught”

pairing: kento nanami x female reader

cw: fluff, language, established relationship and nsfw (kissing, fingering, creampie, unprotected sex, degradation, praise, bites and marking, dacryphillia, dumbification, begging, scratching, nipple play, finger sucking, wrist grabbing)

word count: 2200+

information: the great conjunction collab masterlist by @suna-reversed

a/n: this was v fun to write, hope you guys like this, hopefully i got nanami’s characterisation right

summary: in which after a long mission all you can think about is being with nanami, when you finally get some alone time it seems like a spare room is the best place for your little escapade

↞ back to jujutsu kaisen masterlist

He groaned as he rubbed his eyes, the mission had been a long one but successful. You had gone to get checked up as Nanami went to the bathroom, he leaned his head against the wall looking to his side where the mirror was. Eyes fixated on his ripped blue shirt and cold eyes, he was tired, with the risk of your near injury he was glad you had gotten out without more than a scratch on you.

He walked out as he started the trek to where you were, it was better for the both of you two to head home before it got too dark, and traffic would become a nightmare for the blond. He walked past where the teacher dorms were, he never cared to visit any of their rooms. Seeing no need as he never visited Jujutsu High often and if he did it was if Gojo had somehow dragged him to the place.

Feeling a hand grab his wrist, he turned to see a familiar figure, “y/n?” He questioned before being dragged into a room, he was about to speak when you put a finger on his lips.

“I missed you.” You whispered, the two of you had become separated whilst on the mission and the fact that he was right in front of you, right in your grasp to take. All pretty as he held his tie and suit jacket in his hands, how could you not resist the way he looked.

He raised an eyebrow as you stared at his lips, “miss me enough that you couldn’t wait till we got home?”

“Nope.” You muttered as you grabbed a hold of his lapels hoping to bring him down, you wanted to devour him in a second.

He rolled his eyes before putting his jacket and tie on the chair before grabbing your face in his hands. His lips meshed into your own as you felt nothing but pure lust for him, he saw the bandage around your arm hoping that the next activity you were about to go through wouldn’t be too strenuous on your muscles.

Pushing you backwards as he remained kissing you, he assumed the room to be a spare one. Almost glad nobody occupied the room as it would make being caught an awkward situation. At the least the two of you could have some time for yourself, sex had been put off for the past week after the planning of a case that had occurred an hour away. With it finally being done the sexual tension between the two of you could finally be accomplished.

“Please Kento…I need you…” You whispered as you felt the bed behind you, he licked his lips as he couldn’t help but stare at how pretty you looked pleading for him.

He gave a soft smile as he replied, “I’ll give you everything you want darling.”

You felt his hands move to your shoulders, pushing you back on the bed as you felt his hands move down to your sides, one of his legs kneeled between your legs as the other spread them apart. He watched you squirm as he grabbed your wrists in one of his hands, “hurry up Ken…”

His interruption of his other hand moving to your chest, he undid the buttons of your shirt as it slipped off your body. The way his fingers skimmed past each curve of your breasts, his fingers working nimbly across your hard tit. “You’d better be quiet if you don’t want to get caught,” his comment was serious knowing that others were still awake and that when you whined it was loudly. “That means no whining either.”

Even if it had been a while since the two of you had had sex, your boyfriend never seemed to have a high sex drive. But when sex did occur for the two of you, it was always as passionate as ever and led to you unable to walk for a day.

You shut your mouth watching as his tongue circled your nipples, the way saliva dripped from your nipple to his mouth. His hand remained tight against your wrists pulling them towards the top of your head.

His other hand seemed to be moving down towards your trousers, waiting to unbutton them and take them off your body. But instead you watched him undo his shirt buttons with one hand, it was a skill and it more than emphasised the fact Nanami was good with his fingers.

His shirt fell from his body as he slipped it off, his hand moving to your wrist as he took the other sleeve off. You always loved his toned body, the way his body looked perfect to you, even with the occasional scars that littered his body. It was always going to be perfect for you, and it was all yours.

His hand moved to his hair, bringing his fingers into his hair leaving a blond mess on top of his head. Occasional strands moving to his forehead as he undid your trousers, feeling the way you cunt was already dripping for him. “Your stupid cunt is already wet for me, pathetic.”

The way your underwear dampened more proved just how turned you on with his words, he raised his eyebrow before moving his finger past your clit through your underwear. He could already feel the slick that you held in your cunt and couldn’t wait to fuck it out of you. “Kento…”

You whined once more, “what did I say? Sweetheart? No…” He put one finger past your underwear and into your cunt, “fucking…” as he brought his first finger out he inserted another as he thrusted into you “whining…” at his last word a third finger was added to your cunt.

You gave a loud moan as you back arched to fit the three of his fingers inside your cunt, he didn’t want to finger you, much rather having you cum on his cock. But the way you could only move through your body riled him up, your wrists still unable to move as your legs stayed parted with his own. A perfect sight to ruin, his fingers remained pumping back and forth and your underwear had been dragged down to one of your ankles.

“Beg!” It was a command as he stopped pumping, licking his fingers as he was able to taste your slick.

You stared up at him, watching his hands move away from your wrists, his fingers undoing his trousers as he was ready to have his way with you. “Plea…please I need you…I need you in me…Kento…”

Tears filled your eyes as your cunt felt swollen from the impact of three fingers, the way your nipples were puffed after his mouth had played with them. You were about to get to your knees, go straight for his boxers. But as he took his place back between your legs, you stayed lying on your back, “more.”

His words were short as he grabbed your wrists once more, bringing it right on top of your head. His other hand moved to the side of your face as he kneeled in front, his body staying right on top as you could feel his hardened cock brush against your clit. He moved down as his mouth went on top of your own, you were about to kiss him when he spoke, “I told you to beg.”

“Please, I’…I’ll do anything…for you…” Your voice and breath fanned his mouth as he kissed you once more. His tongue gliding against your own as he carried his body with one hand and his knee, you really did look prettying begging for him.

He let go of your hands as he pulled his boxers down, his cock instantly gliding against your clit as you gave a moan. Your hands moved to his hair and back, already gripping onto him, as you wrapped your legs around his waist. “Stupid girl,” he whispered softly as he kissed your neck, inserting his cock into your cunt. The instant he felt your cunt engulph him, he let out a groan onto your neck, “my…stupid girl.”

He paced himself as he thrusted into you, each time going further back, wanting to hit the back of your cervix within a couple of thrusts. “Kento.” You moaned loudly as you grabbed the back of his hair, the way strands fell between your fingers. His mouth moved to your collar as he began leaving marks across your collarbone, his hand had found itself playing with your nipples as you moaned his name multiple times.

He couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t obsessed with hearing you moan his name; it was the only name you’d ever be moaning. He was the only man who’d ever fuck you stupid, go so deep into you that you lose your form of speech. “Ke….” Each thrust led to less and less words coming from your voice until it was gargles of “more” and “please”. Which anybody who was listening probably couldn’t understand, Nanami knew though, he knew what his girl was saying, what she wanted.

“I’ll give you…more.” He groaned as his thrusts became rapid, your nails trailing down his back leaving distinctive marks across his skin. His hair a mess from all your pulling and worst of all the way you had become fragile under his body.

At each thrust another loose word came out that was not understandable, the way you whined and moaned incoherently. Begged and sobbed as his cock hit the back of your cervix at each thrust, until you finally spoke a word clearly, “c…cum.”

He gave out a smirk as he moved his lips up your neck to your jaw and finally to your mouth. Kissing you softly, a sigh for you to cum for him, that he wanted to fuck you through all your cum. The coil in your stomach slipped away as white cum gushed out, becoming trapped with his cock as he used it as lube to continue fucking into you. Your moans quietened down as his groans engulphed the room, “fuck….”

You kissed him, his tongue remaining in your mouth and saliva and your previous slick was still a taste you felt in your mouth. “Fuck…Y/n…” He felt his own cum gush out as your cunt filled with both of your cums, the way you dropped the cum out onto the bed as he got out of you, collapsing beside you.

“Still all dumb for me.” He muttered as his arms moved to your body, he would clean up later, wanting to rest with you for at least 10 minutes.

You looked at him with dry tears down your face, the way his eyes looked at you softly. The way you turned to your side, cum still dripping from your cunt. Both of you not caring as you felt him wrap his arms around you, “n…no.” You barely formed a feeling partially out of it from the high of cumming and being filled with Nanami.

“You did good darling.” He kissed your forehead as he dragged the blanket on top of the two of you as you snuggled closer to his naked body.

He had expected at least 10 minutes before you got up to get changed, you both would probably end up spending the night at the school. But you both knew you weren’t sleeping in cum filled sheets, the way your body was littered with bite and marks and his own with scratches could be seen as near sadistic.

“What the fuck?” Both you and Nanami whipped your head to the door, it was open, and a white-haired man stood there. “You both couldn’t wait till you got home, you guys fucked in my room.”

“What?” Nanami muttered, Gojo turned the light on as he walked in, glad that the two of you were covered. As soon as the light flickered open the two of you saw how the room was most definitely Gojo’s and how with the littered posters and clothes that he wore. You both had most definitely not fucked in a spare room.

“I am so sorry.” You muttered to Gojo as you tried to look up at him over Nanami’s shoulder.

Gojo rolled his eyes as he stared at you both, “is he good at least?”

“Get out.” Nanami commanded as soon as he heard the comment.

“Does that mean he’s shit, Y/n?” Gojo chuckled as he saw Nanami’s face become pissed off in a matter of seconds, “don’t worry I’ll leave you love birds.” As he closed the door his face whipped to the side as you and Nanami both watched the crazed man, “he’s shit.”

Gojo had mouthed the words to you as you chuckled, Nanami had been ready to throw a pillow at the man but Gojo swiftly left you chuckled at how the room seemed brighter with the light on. “We’re leaving,” he had gotten up grabbing his boxers as he slipped them on.

“Why Kento?” You whined as you just wanted to sleep, all Nanami could see was Gojo’s infatuation with actresses and models he could barely recognise. The man whore, Nanami looked down at the bed seeing how pretty you looked sprawled on the bed.

You chuckled as he went over to close the light and collapsed once more beside you. “I hate both of you.”

“No you don’t now come here.” You chuckled once more as he moved closer, feeling your bare body pressed against him, he watched you move on top of his chest, cuddling right into his form. “I love you.”

He kissed the top of your head before replying, “I love you too.”

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sukirichi · 3 years

Text

earned it [06]

Gojo Satoru is a firm believer that if you work hard for it then you shall earn it. But on the other side, he’s not unfamiliar with his own sins. He also believes that there is punishment due for his sins as he’s earned it.

cw. attempted murder and suicide, angst ig i feel nothing at this point because NAOYA 😭

notes. i’m rolling with the earned it jokes that reader is shippable with everyone so HAH enjoy this chapter because I didn’t enjoy the last LMAO (IM SO EXCITED FOR TOJI TO APPEAR!)

series masterlist

Your muscles throbbed, the pounding of your heart felt even through your skin. You’ve spent hours in the training room, taking punch by punch, landing blow by blow – yet no matter how hard you tried, you kept falling on your ass. At this point, your backside was beyond sore, skin drenched with sweat and clothes sticking uncomfortably to the surface. Meanwhile, your ‘savior’ barely felt the need to catch his breath, instead gazing down at you with disappointment written all over his face.

“Why do you expect so much from me?” you panted, fists clenched on the mat. “Didn’t you tell me you just needed me to get your money back and that’s it? I didn’t ask for you to do anything so stop telling me I’m indebted to you all the time.”

Naoya clicked his tongue, clearly disappointed by your lack of resolve. Above you, he swept up his cane and finally balanced himself. You previously thought he didn’t struggle because he looked so calm and composed, easily overpowering you even with his injury, but his lips were strained, jaw clenched tight that perhaps he was just good at concealing his pain. It made you shut up and watch his every move; his back faced you – probably to hide whatever fleeting moment of vulnerability he had.

“I won’t always be there to save your sorry life,” he said calmly, “You need to learn how to be strong on your own no matter how tough it gets. Now if you’ll keep complaining instead of finishing your training, I could happily lock you up and force you to do my dirty work for me.”

“Then why don’t you go ahead?!”

“I don’t want to,” Naoya responded without missing a beat. He easily closed the distance with a few staggered steps, his head tilted to the side as he surveyed you.

You wondered what went through his mind. Did he see a weak woman? A woman who must be so helpless, so useless that you stayed there, legs too tired and muscles aching too much you couldn’t move? There was no telling with Naoya, and his guarded gaze didn’t help either. Satoru had always been difficult to read at most, but with Naoya – it was practically impossible.

Even as he cupped your chin and twisted it sideways, his eyes narrowed over all your features like he saw something you didn’t, he was too guarded.

“I need you in taking down Gojo Satoru. In order to accomplish that, I have to use his weakness against him. You showing up won’t be enough. No, I want to hurt him…and what better way than to take what was once his, right? Dangle right in front of his eyes what he let go of, make him regret his actions?” his smile turned dark, and for the first time since you’ve met him, you got a glance of what his heart really looked like.

It wasn’t true that Naoya was heartless – no, he just had a dark, sinister heart that didn’t beat the same tune as others. He played his own music with the bones of his enemies, drinking their lifeline from a gold cup and drowning in them, his ominous laughter the perfect antithetical melody of what could’ve been angelic hums.

“Don’t you want that?”

His question made your heart skipped a beat. This whole time, you’ve been so hell bent on achieving something, but what you wanted to reach had never been clear. You were too driven by emotions, by the pain Satoru’s absence had caused, and now that the opportunity was presented before you, you faltered.

“I don’t know what I want.”

“Well, if you ask me what I want…” he tilts your chin up with his finger “It would be to see you strong enough that even you would be capable of taking me down. So be strong, keep fighting – I’ll be there with you every step of the way. You only have one job, and that is to live. I am not allowing you to give up at the slightest of minor inconveniences.”

“And if I get weak?” you questioned with an oscillating tremor, the bite of his cold skin against your heated ones spiking. “If I want to give up? Would I fail you then?”

“I don’t think you’re someone who cares about failing others, so don’t fret whether you’d please me or not,” Just like that, Naoya’s scornful tone had risen again. He let go of you until you dropped down to your palms, blinking back at the sudden change of atmosphere. “Like I said, just do what you need to do, keep going. Don’t look back or be afraid to take the next big step because I’ll always be there right beside you.”

“Why should I trust you?”

“I’m not asking you to, princess,” he snickered, already half way to the door that only he was allowed to go in. Even though you’ve been staying in his manor for quite some time, there were still some things Naoya didn’t trust you with, leaving you only more curious to find out the secrets within.

“Only time will tell. But once you’ve made your decision, know that my ring is always waiting beside your table,” his voice echoed through the large room, stopping in his tracks to look at you once more. This time, he had no haunting features, only the cold emptiness likened to staring back to an infinite void of nothingness.

“I expect an answer when I get home.”

You still remembered the day you decided to wear his ring. Naoya had come then, tired and aggravated from matters he didn’t bother explaining. You stood on his doorway, lips shut tight as you nervously fiddled with your ring, unsure if whether you should tell him or allow him to piece the puzzle himself.

Thankfully, Naoya was a lot more observant than you gave him credit for.

His eyes slid over your face before he followed the motion of your fingers, smirking as the jewel glinted under the bright lights of his home. Wise choice, he’d once told you, and you believed it.

Your life hadn’t been the same ever since. Your spontaneous marriage equated to hellish training of perfecting your image as his trophy wife, spending hours in his secret laboratory and discussing business plans through a glass of wine. Naoya wasn’t around much to teach you everything and it pained him to be your own trainer too so you had to ask help from his guards, refusing to give up and fall down even as your muscles screamed at you to take a break. For Naoya, with Naoya, giving up and running away felt like a myth; a buried solution in the past that should never be brought up again. But now that he was gone, you did exactly that.

You’d given up. Satoru had made you run away.

“Miss,” a deep voice cut you from your thoughts. You tore your gaze away from the glowing night city of Milan to turn to Satoru’s right hand man, the tall figure looming rather shyly instead of imposingly. “You haven’t eaten since we got here. Would you like anything? Mr. Gojo will cover your expenses.”

“I want to go home.”

He froze at your deadpan statement. Finally meeting your gaze under his lashes, Geto pursed his lips. “You know we can’t do that, Miss. It’s unsafe back in Japan.”

“And who’s to say Toji won’t follow us here?” you snapped, pushing your weight off the Cleopatra set and uncrossing your legs. “Why can’t your stupid boss just activate the account and give it back to us? I think we’ve made it clear we’re more than capable of handling our finances, and I’m pretty sure Satoru doesn’t need any more money when he can afford all this.”

“Mr. Gojo…has his reasons for everything he does.”

You laughed bitterly. Maybe it was the fact that Satoru had left this morning for whatever business he had that you didn’t have anyone else to let your anger out to that you’d swiped your gun under your thigh holster and dashed his way.

Geto’s back slammed against the wall, the cool barrel of your gun pressed to his jaw. He swallowed nervously, eyes darting to your weapon, and you laughed heartlessly. “Oh, please, do tell because nothing makes sense,” you crooned, flipping the safety off and letting your heated gaze meet his rather docile ones. You almost felt bad for him. Almost.

“I could easily put a bullet through your head and hijack his plane. I’ll be gone before you know it and who’s to stop me from doing that? Why should I stay here any longer with you?”

“Because your husband asked you to,” Geto responded softly. You stepped back with wide eyes, yesterday’s event crashing all over you once again. He must’ve sensed you no longer held any hostility because he used his pointer finger to move the barrel away from him, gently peeling your hands off his suit. “Because you know, if you go back to Japan, there will be nothing waiting for you there.”

You balled your fists. “I will kill Fushiguro Toji myself. Then I’ll kill Satoru.”

“Even if he used to be your lover?”

“Especially because he used to be my lover.”

Okay…maybe your plan of escaping and returning to Japan hadn’t worked out that well. Exhaustion finally crept up to your senses that you passed out not long after attacking Geto – who reassured you to no end he wasn’t mad you tried to kill him – and days have passed ever since. You hated to admit it, but being stuck in an overseas hotel wasn’t so bad. Geto’s presence was a lot more comforting than his master’s that you didn’t mind having him watch your every move. Plus, he was really nice to immediately follow your every whim. You wanted hot chocolate? Extra pillows? A really expensive wine that you refused to pay for because you were petty and dramatic? He provided it all without question.

Except he probably should have, because you’d stripped off to your underwear, head tipped back to take one final swig of the nearly empty bottle as you slid deeper into the tub.

Your fiery nature of rolling your eyes at Satoru every time he came around (which was rare, for some reason) couldn’t fool anyone – not even yourself. The moment Geto retired to the living room, you would bite the pillows to muffle your cries, thinking back to when Naoya was still alive. It was an endless torment of what if you had stayed, what if you had pushed the rubble off him, what if you just saved him?

Would he still be alive? Would he have survived? Would you be back with him in the Zen’in Estate instead of holding your breath under the tub in a desperate attempt to conceal your tears?

It hurt so bad. It hurt everywhere.

Your lungs begged you to rise up and breathe, but you stayed still under the water, eyes shut tight and hands clenched around the tub’s edges so hard your knuckles turned white. Soon, you grew dizzy and your grip slipped away. Finally, fucking finally, you were falling, falling way too deep that your legs bent inside the tub. Bubbles erupted from your lips in one last breath. At the back of your mind, you let out a sincere laugh for you’d meet your husband soon. He’d be disappointed, probably scold you all the way to the afterlife – until strong arms pulled you out of the tub and into someone’s chest instead.

“Shit, what are you doing?! You could’ve drowned!”

You coughed out water and fisted Satoru’s button-up shirt that had now clung to his skin from the water. Looking around you, you were still very much alive, the uncomfortable twisting of your heart a painful reminder of that. Above you, Satoru sat you in his lap while he remained cross-legged on the floor, muttering curses under his breath as he wrapped a towel around you.

Scoffing, you pushed his hands away, though you kept the towel anyway to lessen your shivering. Why the fuck was the AC so damn strong here?

“Dying seems like a better option, don’t you think?” you snarled at him, teeth chattering from the chill that had begin to seep in.

Momentarily, you worried on how much of a hot mess you probably looked like. Smudged eyeliner, wine-stained lips, unbrushed hair and remnants of the wine mixing with the once clear bath water – you shook your head at the thought and glared at Satoru.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“I was out contacting friends to ask for help. We’re going to need a hundred pairs of eyes watching anywhere that Toji could possibly come through.”

“Is this your pathetic idea of ‘keeping me safe’? Locking me up in this stupid hotel and having your man watch me all the time?” you pushed yourself off him, the sudden motion of standing up giving you wobbly legs. Satoru reached over to steady you but you slapped his hand away, your glare warning him to not take another step.

Seeing his face, seeing him worried as if he didn’t just cause your life to turn into absolute hell, you wanted to grab the wine bottle and smash it right at his pretty face. He had no right to look at you with pity.

You hated him, utterly and terribly despised this man with your entire being.

“What are you really planning, Satoru? Why can’t we just come back home and attack Toji with all we’ve got? Why don’t you just give back our fucking money so we can end all this for once and for all and I can leave?!”

“Because I don’t have the money!”

“What?”

“The money…” Satoru’s back slid off the wall, his palm coming up to thread through his hair. He sounded weak, defeated. “I don’t have it.”

“Gojo,” you snatched him by the collar, teeth bared as you demanded, “What do you mean you don’t have it?”

Satoru paled. “When I stole the money from the Zen’ins, the figures were all fake. They’re not real, there’s no actual money hidden behind their accounts and it was too late before I realized that,” his lips trembled as he continued, “Whatever Toji placed in there, it’s not his actual account where he hides everything and it would make sense too because I stole it too easily – almost as if they wanted me to take it. A few hacks here and there and it was immediately wired to me but after meeting you…” Satoru shook his head, chin dropped down low. “I checked again and the account never existed. It’s a fake one. The digits are just there for show.”

“So then why would Toji want it? Why did my husband have to die for nothing?!”

“I don’t know, okay, I don’t know anything!” he argued back until your faces grew closer, his nose brushing with yours.

Somehow, you couldn’t pull away. His knees had drawn up, forcing you to rest on his thighs as you both breathed heavily, your grip on his collar almost havered.

“Whatever the Zen’ins are hiding, that’s beyond me. I may be in the business for far longer than they have, but they have always been notorious with their possessions that I’m not surprised even I can’t find where it really leads back to. Whatever Toji is hiding there, your husband must’ve known something about it. Why else would they fight tooth and bone over it?”

“If there was, Naoya would’ve told me about it.”

“He would if he trusted you,” Satoru suddenly grabbed your wrist and shook it until you stared at your ring. “How are you even so sure he could trust you with that information? Have you forgotten you’re just a pawn to his game and you’re nothing but a bed warmer?”

“Don’t you ever speak about us that way. You don’t know how much he cared for me.”

“If he really did, then why didn’t he tell you why his cousin is after you? He’s using you as bait, Y/N. I’m not the bad guy here. That man you’re so deeply in love with? I can’t guarantee he’s better than me. We’re all men in the mafia, love is the last thing we would care about.”

You pushed yourself off him.

His words stung too much, not because it was a lie, but because you know there was some sort of truth ringing behind it. You trudged out of the bathroom and sat on the bed, unstirred by the fact you dripped all over the carpeted floor. From behind you, Satoru’s rushed footsteps echoed, but you didn’t care. You simply threw on a robe with your back turned to him.

“And you’d know that better than everyone right? Considering how easy it was for you to leave me?” When Satoru didn’t respond, you chuckled humorlessly and sat on the bed. “What Naoya and I had…it was a friendship that healed my soul. I don’t…I don’t know what to do without him.”

“Friendship?”

You smiled sadly. “I wasn’t actually in love with him, idiot. Men like Naoya don’t know what love is, but he sure does know how to protect family.”

The notion of talking about him, of accepting that maybe he really was gone…somewhat reliving.

Satoru was the last person you wanted to talk to your late husband about, but Geto – which is the much better company – wasn’t around, and you hugged your knees to yourself, refusing to let Satoru see through your vulnerability.

“You know, I trusted him more than I did myself. He was always there for me, no matter what. His soul was dark, angry, corrupted – he’s not the man I would fall for, but despite all that, he was the friend I needed,” you buried your face in your knees, voice muffled as you cried, your heart shattering again and again and again.

The ring on your finger had never felt so heavy ever since you wore it.

“I loved him as much as I hated you.”

Satoru was silent, so much so that you wondered if he was even in the same room at all. You sat there crying, too hopeless to even try to conceal it anymore. Shivering, you close your eyes and forced the image of Naoya’s last moments away from your memories, desperately praying to whoever had mercy that you could just forget all about it.

“Geto told me you tried to kill him,” Satoru murmured after a beat, “You could’ve easily escaped and went back to Japan if you wanted to, so why didn’t you? Was it because of me?”

You remembered what you tried to do today.

Just like that, Naoya was alive once more. You were brought back to the day of your wedding when he’d clasped your sweaty, clammy hands in his, rubbing some warmth in them before pressing a kiss at the top of your knuckles. He’d asked you to promise him something then – an entire contrast from his constants orders over your well-being – and it was a promise you’d momentarily forgotten; a promise you’d broken out of mourning.

“Naoya once told me,” you reminisced through dry, cracked lips and even more shattered heart, the picture of his disappointment as clear as day. “Death was the only place he can go where he would never allow me to follow.”

It took a lot, but it somehow got better. After allowing yourself a faint moment of weakness where Naoya resurfaced in your mind to remind you of our promise and your purpose, you felt stronger, somewhat steadier with each step you took. You were still wary around Satoru, although that was a given.

His friend, Geto, was really nice, on the other hand, and you couldn’t explain why you always lowered your guard around the formal dark-haired assistant.

You and Geto were playing chess when Satoru barged in out of nowhere, a plate and a syrup condenser on his hand. “So I got you breakfast,” was his greeting, nodding at Geto once as a silent order to give you two privacy. You pouted as the latter left, but soon your attention had been diverted to the heavenly aroma filling in your senses. Seeing your approval, Satoru hid a smile behind his dark sunglasses. “Still like pancakes?”

“Trying to get into my good graces now?”

“I’m just trying to cheer you up.”

You rolled your eyes but snatched the plate from him anyway. “So I talked to my lawyer,” you begun, pouring syrup all over the fluffy bread until it was almost spilling to the sides. Beside you, Satoru’s snickers were barely muffled, to which you ignored wholeheartedly. “They’ve already processed my inheritance over Naoya’s possessions and assets. Once we return to Japan, I’ll be the next leader of the Zen’in Clan, much to the disappointment of his elders, of course, but they can’t do anything about it,” you informed him with your fork hanging in mid-air, the words falling thickly. “You know what that means, don’t you?”

“That we’re back to being enemies?”

You offered him a sarcastic smile. “Naoya lied about strengthening his alliance with your family. He doesn’t actually give a fuck about you.”

“I figured that much,” he snickered to himself, shifting his weight until his elbows rested on his thighs. “Listen…a friend of mine is flying to Milan tonight to meet us. They have strong connections with banks all over the world and they brought in some information about that hidden Zen’in account. I think we’re finally getting off to somewhere and finding out what really is in there,” Satoru gauged for your reaction, but you kept eating – more like stuffing the pancakes inside your mouth for you were finally free of having to act perfect without your husband.

Satoru’s hand landed on top of yours. “I promise…I’ll give it back to right where it belongs. As soon as it’s wired back to you, I’m setting you free.”

You stared at the unwanted figure over you, and you snatched your hand back, waving a bread knife below his lashes. “You can’t set me free when I was never yours,” you sang breathily, the tip of the blade hovered right at his lips. Satoru raised a brow at you, but you quickly retrieved the knife back with widened eyes. “Now that you mention it…I think Naoya told me something about his family stashing secret weapons and even heirlooms through offshore accounts and buried under islands. He was a little sleepy during that time but I remember it,” pushing the plate away from you as you lost your appetite, you clutched your palms under your chin in thought. “He said he was looking for something he lost as a child, possibly an heirloom.”

“He’s doing all this for heirlooms?” Satoru immediately coughed his words back when you glared at him, raising his hands in surrender. “I mean, I was just saying. I didn’t think he was a sentimental type of guy.”

“The question here is what both Toji and Naoya could’ve both wanted from that account. It’s not just an heirloom, obviously there’s something there worth more than money,” You argued and slapped your knees, heading straight to your (unfortunately) shared room. “Whatever. I’ll get this over with as soon as I get the money back.”

Satoru, as always, was hot on your heels. It annoyed you how he trailed over you like some sort of puppy or shadow – Naoya had always been too classy to not give you space.

The difference between them just kept getting more and more uncannily obvious.

“Whoa there, stop. Did you really think I’d give back the money to you and that’s it? Are you forgetting the fact Toji is out there to kill you just so he can have his hands on it?”

“He can have the money for all I fucking care,” you shrugged and sat on your bed, scrolling through numerous piles of emails and records that Naoya entrusted you to keep. Surely you could find something. “I just need to find whatever Naoya’s spent his whole life killing for.”

“Why don’t you care about the money? Didn’t Naoya expect you to take over his business?”

Your thumb froze over a file. Suddenly, your throat grew dry, and you quickly flashed Satoru a stinky eye. “I-it’s not my main concern.”

“It’s not safe for you. If Toji finds out—”

Got it. You bookmarked an email Naoya had forwarded you around three years ago and resent it to an old friend, pocketing the phone back to your pyjamas before Satoru could see. “I’ll handle it. I’ve been doing well so far before you came into our lives again,” you finalized, stopping for a bit as you waited for that all-too familiar footfall matching with yours, only for the room to be coated in silence.

Satoru stood there on the other side of the room, eyes deep in thought before he sighed. “I’ll meet you at the hotel restaurant tonight. We have a lot to discuss on what our next move should be,” nodding once, Satoru left the room.

The hotel room was eerily silent.

Dinner came around faster than you expected. With Geto out to run some errands for Satoru, something about ‘establishing bases’ or whatever, you were locked in your room, using Naoya’s black card to get enough amount of clothing to last you for your stay here. Even though Satoru had promised he’d take care of everything, you didn’t want to be in his debt for any longer. You weren’t his, you were Naoya’s, and you shot down his curious looks when heaps of shopping bags had been delivered to your door.

An hour later, you left the room, struggling to zipper the back of your dress. Satoru was already in the living room buttoning up his suit jacket, just as handsome as ever (though you’d never tell him that.)

His hands froze in the last button once his eyes landed on you, and you huffed at him, too distressed to even act cute or bothered while pointing to your dress. Satoru strode to you in three long steps, his cold fingers brushing against the dip of your spine when he clutched on the zipper.

You had to bite your lip down to prevent the shivers from spilling through, his lips dangerously close to your ear as he whispered, “You look great.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

If Satoru was bothered by the lack of sincerity in your voice, he didn’t comment on it. He removed his hands from you and watched as you slipped black velvet gloves through your arms – just in case you had to end up killing someone; leaving fingerprints was a risk you couldn’t take.

“Did you really get dressed to kill?”

“I came here to negotiate,” you corrected, “I’ll do everything I can to find out whatever’s behind that offshore account. And you, sir,” Frowning at him, you pulled Satoru closer by the tie, perhaps a little too harshly since he nearly knocked his head with yours. He was quick to steady himself as you fixed his tie, flattening it down with your fingers. “You need to know where you should stick your nose in. This is more my business than yours so don’t get in my way acting all hero and shit. I assure you I can handle myself.”

“You’re really going to berate me for worrying about you?”

“You can no longer worry about me,” you disclosed, snatching your black purse from the counter before doing the come hither motion at his shock-still figure. “Now let’s go. We have a case to crack.”

“Case to crack? You sure sound like a detective.”

You snickered, but made no further comment. The elevators dinged and you arrived at the restaurant, which you really regretted not visiting soon enough because the place was grand. Red carpeted floors, golden chandeliers, soft jazz music playing in the background as the lights dimmed down low, the faint clinking of utensils against plates and light chatter of the guests so heartbreakingly nostalgic.

It seemed that even after his death, Naoya had every intention to never leave your side. The setting reminded you too much of your never-ending late night fancy dinners.

Naoya being Naoya, he didn’t blink twice in flaunting his money and renting out entire restaurants all for himself, claiming that he just ‘wanted to have an intimate moment with his wife.’ Sure, it mostly consisted of you discussing what move you should make next, but it was the most affectionate gesture you’ve received after spending years in the quiet and cold environment of the Zen’in Estate.

The outside world wasn’t any better when you and Naoya were marked as targets by the entire government, so it made sense, that only with him that you’d find comfort in.

You must be so out of it you never even noticed Satoru leading you to your seat, a warm meal that should’ve been comforting right under your nose. It was too much – too similar that you headed straight for the wine, ignoring Satoru’s questioning gaze. You noticed from the corner of his eye that he opened his mouth too many times in an attempt to make light conversation, but this dinner wasn’t for you to rekindle your old flame.

No, you were here to wait for his ‘friend’ and review important matters. You were determined to fulfill that purpose alone and only that alone that you never once made eye contact with him, even standing up to reach the salt shaker near him instead of asking him to pass it.

Just as you leaned back to your seat, the music grew louder. A foreign man walked to the stage where he was basked in the spotlight, all heads turning to him when he tapped the microphone, sending little echoes all over the hall. “Ladies and gentlemen, let’s loosen up tonight with a drink and bring our lovers out here on the dance floor,” he sang while swaying side to side, snapping his fingers to the beat that had turned into calming to sensual. “It is a fine evening, isn’t it? Come on, don’t be shy, the night is still so young!”

You dropped your fork beside the plate. “Did you know about this?”

“I swear, I had no idea.”

“Those two attractive lovers in table 42, the dance floor is still much too spacious!”

“Pretty vulgar for a five star hotel,” you commented under your breath and dabbed the pasta sauce off your lips with a napkin, slapping it down the table as you stood up – much to Satoru’s surprise who’d tried to make himself invisible from the host’s eyes. Stupid him; did he really think he could blend in with his sunglasses and snow white hair?

If you were to be honest, you’d rather choke on shrimp than dance with him, but you had an image to upkeep. If you couldn’t gather with the crowd and pretend to be one with others, both your true natures would be fished out even with innocent eyes. You were left with no choice but to be comfortable in the dance floor, sighing deeply as you placed your hands down on Satoru’s wide shoulders. He furrowed his brows at you but said nothing else; strong, cautious hands sliding down from your back before they settled at the curve of your hips.

“Keep your hands to yourself, Mister. I won’t hesitate to stab a fork through your jugular right here.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I know you’re not my little angel anymore.”

Angel. It was what he used to call you back then – when you were still but an innocent, naïve being who never believed in monsters until you fell for one.

He was right; you were no longer his angel. The woman he loved had been left abandoned in the street, the purity of her soul tainted with anger and heartbreak that soon bathed in blood and the need for revenge. His angel was no more – the woman he danced with was nothing but a replica of the face and body he adored the most. Now, you danced with him, not as his angel and neither as his rival’s wife, but simply as a woman whose kindness had long vanished into thin air.

Satoru danced with the devil.

And he should be disgusted just as you should be repulsed with how sickeningly smooth and graceful he was in everything he did, but the wine – yes, it was the fucking wine – messed with you that you actually enjoyed it. Your bodies moved in rhythm and syncopated with the beat, the romantic high notes of the violin and the tender embrace of deep trebles like a classical painting coming to life and you were its subjects to be expressed.

Perhaps…you were just sad. You grieved and mourned too much you’d momentarily forgot what love was, in turn making you forget what it felt like to be constantly unsafe and peeking over your shoulder in case someone tried to kill you.

Satoru just felt so warm, so safe and alive that you found your head dipping lower, your muscles relaxing around his soothing and undeniably tender touch, the space between your bodies diminishing until you surrendered to the power of your desire. You were so close, your ear about to press on his chest to listen to the blissful sound of someone’s reassuring heartbeat along with the music, and then you saw him.

A tuft of blonde hair, a chiseled face, a nude cream suit and a deep blue shirt beneath – what the fuck was he doing here?

The spell was broken in an instant.

Satoru must’ve been under the same trance for his hand trailed lower to pull you closer, your chests grazing with one another before you placed your palm flat on his body, lips thinned into a grim look that resonated with the sick, twisting feeling in your guts.

“I,” you croaked out, clearing your throat when it went dry. “I need to go to the ladies.”

You left Satoru without another word, bunching your dress up to run to where he had disappeared. He was still walking coolly and inspecting the paintings hung in the empty lobby with faux interest – although knowing him, the bastard probably did enjoy classical pieces and studied about them in his free time; which he didn’t have much to begin with.

As if sensing your presence, he stopped right in front of a replica of The Sleeping Venus, his hands dug deep in his pockets. “The shape of being is the visual demonstration of a state of being in which idealized existence is suspended in immutable slow-breathing harmony. All the sensuality has been distilled off from this sensuous presence, and all incitement; Venus denotes not the act of love but the recollection of it. The perfect embodiment of Giorgione’s dream, she dreams his dream herself,” he narrates in his baritone voice, “A little cordial, is it not?”

You took your gun out from your thigh holster and lowered it right at the back of his skull. “Don’t move another inch.”

“No need to be so hostile in a public setting, Y/N. I’m only here to look out for you and making sure you’re not forgetting who you are. Killing me isn’t part of the plan.”

“Neither was murdering my husband,” you growled, pushing the barrel harder against him, though the man didn’t budge before you. “I know that it wasn’t Toji who set off the bomb, Kento, you did.”

“We simply saw an opportunity that couldn’t be wasted. Two notorious mafia leaders in an unsuspecting supposed safe environment?” The fact he didn’t even deny it left you speechless. Kento spun around until your gun rested between his eyes, and he languidly pushed his glasses up his high nose as he looked down on you. “We could’ve killed two birds with one stone had you not been in the way.”

“You guys are out to kill me too now?”

“Don’t act too surprised. The Organization isn’t patient enough to wait for both leaders to die.”

“So you killed my husband?!” you argued, “He was my friend, I told you not to touch him!”

“Only in the exchange that you hand him to us,” Kento echoed, jogging your memory until you were kept up to date. “But it’s been five years and what has happened so far? You’re fraternizing with the enemy and even manufacturing drugs for your so-called husband. Now that he’s dead, you’re here in Italy, looking as stunning as ever as you wine and dine with a former lover,” Kento tilted his head to the side to study your appearance – smiling at how you seemed too bright and fashionable for a woman in supposed mourning.

“I hardly believe you’re actually affected by this at all.”

“How dare you! I’ve proven to no end my loyalty of the higher-ups!”

Kento didn’t bat an eye at your outburst. If anything, he stepped closer to your weapon. “Kill me if you wish, Y/N, but know the moment you put a bullet in my head, the Organization will place you on the same pedestal as Naoya’s and Gojo’s. I wouldn’t recommend such methods considering we’re already at unease on whose side you’re really on. If you do this, you will be our enemy.”

“I did everything for the Organization. What else would you want from me?”

“The contract was easy. We want both leaders – whether dead or alive – in our custody. If you don’t hold your side of the deal, it’s not only your life that we’ll take from you,” Kento pulled out a red coin that made your heart sink deep into your stomach for it served as a threat over the consequences of your actions.

He lowered your gun with the coin and smirked at you, his lips right beside the shell of your ear as he purred, “I suggest you be careful with what step of action you take next.”

“Oi, Nanami, you’re here!” Satoru’s voice suddenly boomed in the hallway. Nanami was as unbothered as ever from taking a step away from you, nodding to your gun which you quickly concealed right before Satoru arrived. You were frozen – rendered immobile with the flashing red metal from his palm – that you couldn’t even protest against Satoru wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “I see you’ve met Mrs. Zen’in already.”

“Hmm, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Madam,” taking your hand in his, Kento’s eyes were nothing but eerie as he kissed your knuckles. “Shall we start our discussion?”

SUKI RANTS! Nanami quoted Sydney Joseph Friedberg (an art critic) in one of his dialogues. A little backstory on the painting was that the portrait was originally made by Giorgone, who had a student and also his lover (if I’m not mistaken) called Titian. Giorgone never finished the portrait because he died from the plague but Titiane finished it for him, symbolizing that Y/N still has a mission that connected her from Naoya even after his death and she has to finish something he started. The portrait is of a nude woman that symbolized oneness of nature and that the woman isn’t posed for the gaze of men, but rather they are dreaming, hence the quote: “Venus denotes not the act of love but the recollection of it. The perfect embodiment of Giorgione’s dream, she dreams his dream herself.” Nanami said the painting’s meaning resonated with Y/N’s situation too much since she wasn’t in love with Naoya, but she had a recollection of their moments that still represented their relationship, and that Naoya’s dream (goals) are also shared by Reader. I was gonna ask you guys what your theories are on that scene but I think this makes me sound cooler if I explain it so *lip bite emoji because I’m still broken over Naoya’s death*

taglist open (lmk if you want to be added/removed):

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the-amaranthine · 2 years

Text

memories

in which she enlists the help of Satoru Gojo and asks him to take her virginity and parade he did so by fake dating to steer off her marriage prospects.

genre: fluff, eventual angst, smut(in future chapters)

pairing: Satoru gojo x female reader (?)

tw/cw: sexual themes, misogyny, swearing, violence, (more warnings in the future chapters to avoid spoilers)

this first takes place before the zero arc, and progresses alongside the main story.

notes: I DO NOT OWN JUJUTSU KAISEN, all rights belong to Gege Akutami. This is only a work of fiction. I researched most of the lore regarding the Jujutsu world, but if I got something wrong please feel free to send me an ask and/or message me!

Full Summary: Y/n Inumaki assumed she’s had a perfect upbringing all her life. Loving parents, and loving caretakers. She held the title as the only daughter of the Inumaki clan and is sought out by many to be their wife. When she started seeing visions of what was her life, memories of what she actually went through, she starts questioning everything that her life consisted of. She starts seeing what her prospective husband, Naoya Zenin, is for who he is. So, naturally, she receives help from the strongest sorcerer, Satoru Gojo so she does not become a mindless wife to the Zenin clan. The question is, is Naoya Zenin the only hindrance to accomplishing her plans towards freedom, or is there something far more sinister happening underneath the surface?

Prologue. Part One. Part Two.

Part Two

June 2006

The boy smiles tight-lipped at his Yaga-sensei. The announcement, or rather threat, still burned in his mind. Now, he knows his grades haven’t been exemplary, but they sufficed, or so he thought. After receiving yet another grade below 60%, Yaga-sensei gave him an ultimatum, he must bring his grades up in the next month, or he will be banned from training and missions until he can do the almost impossible feat. His best friend was waiting for him outside the classroom.

“How bad?” The best friend already knew the answer, he just did not know how to comfort his friend, after he overheard Yaga’s lecture.

“Enough,” was the brief, and curt answer of the taller one.

“I have an idea, but please don’t murder me. And please just let your pride down.” When the boy is in a bad mood, he does not listen very well.

“I already know what it is, a matter of fact, I was recommended to go there by Yaga,” he starts, on his way to the library, where the younger girl is most likely to be. “He made it pretty clear, she is my only chance.”

His best friend winced and laughed at his last words, “The only reason that I’m not in the same tutor session as you, is ‘cause I, actually, studied for the last test.” His best friend remembers the several sleepless nights he endured just to get a mark over 70%. “Listen, when you talk to her, apologize first, yeah? You were an ass, last time.”

“Are we gonna have this discussion, again?” The boy could not even count on two hands how many times the other one tried to get him to apologize. And he tried. Many times. But with every single time, the boy would attempt to apologize, his pride and ego got in the way, whenever he would see the young girl leisurely reading books. ‘She is pampered to the holy gods. Always excused from training, and is always reading.’ The boy thinks since he can’t afford another lecture, on just how perfect Y/n Inumaki is if he ever uttered what he was thinking about.

Y/n Inumaki might be pampered and she might come off with an attitude, he was recalling back to the colorful words she called him that one day, but she was intelligent as hell. She most definitely proved that if she couldn’t best them physically, she would best them with her bottomless knowledge. A mere example of that is that she is in her first year, yet she is all finished with her human high school studies. Always had answers towards various subjects, and was always called out for the solution when her classmates, could not even understand the question.

“-sama? Did you need anything?” He was shaken out of his thought. And of course, there it is, the over-politeness. Makes him want to hurl at how fake it sounds.

“Yaga-sensei recommended me to you. He said you were well-practiced with Calculus and World History.”

She furrows her perfectly trimmed eyebrows, “Oh! Were you the student that needed help? All Sensei said was that he was sending a student for tutoring, sorry I was not aware it was you.” She was smiling now.

The last sentence irked the boy to the deepest of his bones, his eyes twitching. “Yes. That would be me. If you are not alright with it, I could talk to Yaga-sensei myself for the both of us.” Liar, it was the boy who is definitely not happy with this arrangement.

“I’m completely fine! I needed to review some concepts as well, so two birds with one stone, right?” Her grin is so cocky, yet so demure. How does she do it? To hell if the boy knows. “Or maybe, it is you that is unhappy? If you aren’t comfortable with me, I can go talk to Yaga-sensei myself!” Too cheery, she knew she trapped him then. Both decisions the boy was given are his defeat. And they both know that.

“I. Am. Fine.” That stupid grin, he wishes he could wipe off her striking face. “You could help me, and in exchange, I’ll help you with physical training.” Her smile fell off.

“There is no need senpai, I have bodyguards for that. Thank you for offering though.” There was suddenly a cloud over the girl’s eyes. The girl in front of him now resembles the girl he sees every day. Which leads him to wonder, just why she allowed him to see that other side of her?

“Alright, whatever you say.”

“Wonderful! Now that’s settled, may I see your previous tests?” Fuck. The boy rarely gets embarrassed. This was one of them. “Alright, I see you are working on limits and transcendental in Calculus, while in World History…”

---

And so it went for the next two weeks. The teenagers met at the library, it started with every afternoon, but as his make-up test got nearer, they decided to also meet up in the mornings and nights.

The boy was not yet ready to admit just how beautiful and ethereal the girl is. He would catch himself staring, yes, especially at her radiant eyes that never stopped smiling, even if her mouth was not. Whenever she would slip a sassy comment, there was no longer the need to walk out of the room. ‘Huh, weird.’ The boy was many things, but at this age, he did not possess the experience nor the emotional maturity, to even comprehend what these feelings are.

Meanwhile, on the girl’s end, it was becoming blatantly obvious just how she is starting to enjoy his company. She found herself giggling, the Y/n Inumaki who has been beaten with manners and control since she was three, was giggling at a young clueless boy. Maybe it also helped that she would notice just how often he would stare at her. She is not an idiot, from her romance novels, they either mean two things, one is he is planning for her demise, or that he might feel the same way. Albeit there is a third option that she might have something on her face, but she made sure every morning to look presentable.

“Hey, are you free tonight?” The boy starts, as he rubs the back of his neck. Is this it? Is this the part where he would ask her on a date? “I’ll teach you self-defense.” Oh. Okay.

“No.” Maybe her tone was too bitter? He starts to protest. “Once my clan gets a wind that I’m ‘ruining,’ my body, and that you are helping me, you’re as good as dead.”

“Come on, just the basics, yeah? Enough to buy you time, if no one is there with you.”

“I can make people go to sleep.”

“Yes, but you have to keep touching them, to keep them asleep.” He retorts back. “Will you just chill with the enemy, waiting for reinforcements? What will you do when you run out of cursed energy?”

She sees the oncoming lecture already, “Alright, alright! Fine, geez.” The girl knew she could not say no to him. She was just, if not more, infatuated with the boy. Plus, more time spent together? She’ll wake up earlier if she had to. “But I must stress, this needs to be a secret. For your sake and mine.” Mostly his.

“As you wish.”

This point was the start of their tragedy.

-----

Present

“Hi, my beautiful, beautiful angel!” Satoru forgot that this girl was not used to his teleportation, which was why she was on the ground at this moment. “I’m back from slaying the dragon, my princess, my reward please.”

She decided on ripping the band-aid. “Naoya Zenin is to be my husband in three months.” He looked like he already knew that. So she continued. “At first, I was ecstatic, because everyone around me always gushed at how perfect he will be.” Satoru snorts at that, Naoya and perfect do not go together. “Being from an affluent clan, you are told from a young age you must marry into the same status as you. So, someone like Naoya-sama wanting me was considered a blessing in my family. I was praised a lot.

“But then, I was given a confidential mail, sent through an anonymous clan member, and the sender is still unknown. The contents of that letter were gruesome, it was all about Naoya Zenin’s, hobbies. Shreds of evidence of his maltreatment with not just women, but kids. I will do anything to protect my future children. If this marriage goes through, that’s all I’ll ever be. I’ll never have a chance to go out again, especially after this incident.”

“So, Uhm, why the dildo?”

“My handmaidens made me do these exercises that involved my Uhm, that involved down there. They heard through the grapevine, that Naoya adores a tight, uh, space.” He starts grinning at that.

“Huh, Naoya-chan must have a small dick that he needs a tight-”

“Gojo-sama!” The girl blurts out, she wants this embarrassing conversation to be over. “Please do not interrupt me. Look,” she sighs, “it’s my only way out, alright? That’s why I was picking out dildos-”

“You want to rip your hymen?” He is in disbelief now, once again.

“No one wants to have sex with me! I’ve tried seducing men, and this is my only choice, okay? Sorry if it displeases you, Gojo-sama.” There was no apologetic tone present. “No one in our estate finds me attractive enough to have sex with me and to risk their life, regardless, I cannot force that onto someone, I will not risk their lives over this matter. Plus, I’m far too scared to just pick a stranger from the streets.”

“Noble ‘til the very end, of course, until you stick a dildo in you. Do you even know how far to go?” She is not having a sexual conversation with Satoru Gojo. Nevertheless, she promised him this.

“Yes, I have done ample research.” She says it with pride, Satoru muses.

“And where was this said research done? Surely, the princess of the Inumaki clan is monitored her computer use. Or can you go on Pornhub? I’m not really sure on the course content for brides.” Cheeky bastard.

“If you must insist, it was through romance novels. No one questions my daily visits to the library, and my old maids have a shelf hidden just for, uh, the more risqué novels.”

“Okay, so you're telling me, you’re planning to stop Naoya Zenin from marrying you, is to announce to the whole Jujutsu Society that you lost your virginity to a pink dildo?” Satoru could not believe this, Y/n was revered by their classmates by her intelligence, and this is her plan? She is silent for a few minutes. A few minutes turned into seven.

“Gojo-sama. Please promise to not laugh, and to hear everything first, before you say your opinion.”

“Angel, I don’t know what else can come out of your pretty mouth that I will find surprising. Two days ago, I didn’t even know you understand the concept of female pleasure.”

“Okay, do you find me beautiful?”

“Eh, you’re easy on the eyes. Not my type though sweetheart.” She rolls her eyes.

“Will you have sex with me?” If Satoru was not awake before, he is awake now. Brief images are flying through his mind.

“Heh?”

Mortified is the only word to define her at this moment. She’s debating on letting her parents bring her back to their estate, instead of facing Satoru right now. “I’m so sorry I offended you! I’ll stop talking now.”

She refuses to say any other words. “Ok, I’ll have sex with you.”

“What?”

“I said, I’ll have sex with you. I told you before, didn’t I? If you really need help, this senpai will happily oblige for you.” Y/n is speechless for the moment. “So I wonder why you chose me out of everyone, hm”

“You already know the reason, Gojo-sama.” He was still grinning at her. Does he need an ego boost this badly? She’ll humor this immature man in front of her. He is helping her. “Because you’re the strongest. If anyone can help me face both my clan and the Zenin’s it would be you. Who would dare even question the Satoru Gojo anyways?” Is that enough to stroke your ego?

“Awe Y/n-chan! You’re making me blush!” She only stares at him in response. “Say, you wanna practice now?”

“What? No!”

“Well, we’re gonna have to.” Y/n then felt the presence of spike-cursed energy. They are here. It’s too soon. Satoru glances at her, getting closer. “They’re one minute away.” Y/n looks at anywhere but him, racking her brain for anything, that will solidify their lie. Anything. “Thirty seconds.” Please, anything, she begs.

“Y/n open this daughter right at this moment! Or I will knock this door off its hinges.” That was her father’s authoritative and booming voice. “Your childish antics end now. I will make sure that your mother will see you, once you arrive back at the estate.”

Satoru grins down at Y/n’s desperate eyes. ‘Ah, damn it all,’ she knows she’s out of options when she could feel their cursed energy. There were so many of them. And, her father’s last statement is what sealed her fate. She will do anything, just to escape her parents’ clutches. So, Y/n doesn’t think any further. She grabs Satoru’s black Jujutsu uniform by its collar and smashes her lips on his.

The image of lovers, that are much very preoccupied, is what greets Naoya Zenin’s crooked grin, and burning glare. Safe to say, Naoya’s infamous grin, quickly turned into a chagrin.

to be continued.

and there we go for part two! thank you for your patience! the next update would most likely be posted saturday nov 27 since I have a bit of a hectic week ahead of me. thank you all for reading and enjoying this story.

#gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #jjk fanfic #jjk imagines #jjk #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu sorcerer #jujutsu kaisen satoru #jujutsu gojo #jjk satoru #satoru gojō x reader

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chosonore · 3 years

Text

part two | yearning

yearning [noun. a strong feeling of wishing for something, especially something that you cannot have or get easily]

pairing: kamo noritoshi/f!reader

summary: your relationship with noritoshi was like a game of cat and mouse; no matter how hard you tried to escape from him, he would always find his way back to you.

wordcount: 8.2k

content/warnings: friends to enemies to lovers, language, somewhat suggestive, noritoshi is kind of a dick but i promise it gets better so please don’t lose faith in him, we’re somewhat following the timeline of the anime/manga so spoilers ahead!! but what follows afterwards is purely pulled out of my ass lol, lowercase intended [UNEDITED]

a/n: hello, here i am again with a super long chapter ( ˙꒳˙ ) it is so incredibly messy and i’m so sorry if it gets confusing for you; this just really shows how sporadic my writing process is, i have some guidelines that i follow but sometimes venture off my path when i suddenly get a new idea. nevertheless, i hope you can somewhat enjoy this chapter. feedback or just your thoughts are much appreciated! for those that are waiting for the ~steamy~ content, it is coming next chapter hehe. as always, stay safe everyone (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)

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"noritoshi, could you just stay quiet today? i'm really not in the mood," you sighed as you entered the training grounds. the exhaustion from the mission the day before was clinging onto your bones, heavy and admonishingly. the normally exciting sparring lessons seemed dreadful, knowing that all students were to practice today. to practice the balance within the team, utahime had claimed the week prior as she was reprimanding your lack of discipline when it came to noritoshi. stubbornness ran in the family; you refused to back down when someone was hurting your pride. said stubbornness came back to bite you - instead of taking a break to fully recover, you claimed that you would be fine with the help of your reverse curse techniques.

as the days came and went, the yearly tournament slowly approached. after the devastating defeat last year, everyone was on edge and determined to beat tokyo tech. well, that excluded todo, he was just looking for stronger opponents it seemed. noritoshi, on other hand, appeared to be more agitated than usual - if he wasn't barking orders at the other students, he would criticize their fighting styles. you knew he wanted to win the tournament at all costs, to prove himself worthy of the position as the kamo clan head. but he was too rigid about it, rarely accepting help and haughty when questioned. you've been avoiding him as best as you could and of all days, today had to be one where you could not. opponents would be swapped every ten minutes so everyone could practice with another student - facing noritoshi for ten minutes was easy. so you thought.

"can't promise anything, princess," noritoshi retorted smugly and pat your head like he usually did when he was trying to get a reaction out of you. life always found a way to prove you wrong. for some reason, noritoshi had made it his goal to get under your skin as much as possible on this particular day and it worked. it was childish to engage in this banter but you couldn’t help it. the feeling of not being taken serious by noritoshi had always bothered you. it almost seemed like he wasn’t considering you equal to him, always looking down on you. being stressed wasn’t good, your mother had always reminded you, so it was best to remain calm and collected.

stay calm and collected, calm and collected, you repeated in your head. gritting your teeth, you slapped his hand away and jogged away from him towards todo. at least he'd leave you alone while you were near todo - probably to avoid todo getting mad at him and not wanting to hear about takada-chan again. he was the ultimate and fool-proof shield. the taller male was walking at a leisurely pace in front of you, leading the group as per usual. you caught up to him, slowing down so it didn't look like you just jogged all the way here. away from the menace that was noritoshi. todo glanced at you suspiciously before subtly turning around. a guilty groan left your lips. of course he knew, he always knew. as the unlikely friendship was blossoming between the two of you, you rapidly realized that todo was far more perceptive than he would ever let on. even though he took lighthearted jabs at you, he didn't care enough to intervene; it was a mutual understanding. in a way, you appreciated that he treated you like everyone else, not once had he tried to approach you about your deteriorating relationship with noritoshi.

upon seeing the unlikely pair, miwa speed up as well to join them. even though todo scared her to no end, your presence eased her nerves a little. after all, you weren’t scared to put him back in his place when he was being dramatic. she nudged you gently in greeting, nervously clasping her sword in front of her. "do you think we'll win this year's competition? we've been training a lot, so i hope i can show off some of my skills."

"never say never? even if we lose, it's a good experience to learn from," you replied wryly. while the students of the kyoto tech were strong and coordinated well with each other, noritoshi and you could easily destroy the balance. he didn't know when to stop, persistently pushing your boundaries and you fell for his tricks every time. as long as you could work out a strategy that involved working alone or with a partner that was not him, you'd be fine. your safest bet was to work with miwa since you were both sword users and have practiced together extensively. if noritoshi and you exhibited enough chaos to tear the world apart, miwa and you represented the perfect balance when fighting.

"you're our secret weapon though!" miwa exclaimed excitedly, elbowing you gently. "no one knows you can heal, so we'll use that to our advantage."

"uh…"

"what? don't tell me you-"

"i've asked yuta about advice before," you interrupted her, scratching your head sheepishly. "he's one of the very few people who can use reverse cursed techniques, so i asked him to give me some pointers and how to use it more to my advantage."

when yuta participated in the competition the year before, you were absolutely mesmerized by his level of skills and how he had supposedly mastered them in such a short amount of time. of course you hadn't told anyone that you were talking to him - everyone was still salty about the defeat and would, undoubtedly, have crucified you on sight. truthfully, you didn't understand why everyone was so hellbent about hating the students of your sister school. weren't you all colleagues in a sense? yuta was nice and respectful towards you, always trying his best to explain you how to implement his tips. along the way, you might have developed a tiny, fleeting crush on him but never acted on it. it was only a crush after all and you didn’t feel certain about it not being a mere distraction from your feelings for noritoshi. perhaps it was the way he made you feel, the way he treated you like noritoshi used to before. you couldn't even deny it, you missed your old 'toshi. when you looked at him now, it hurt you, seeing all the traces of gentleness having left him.

"really? you never told me! what is he like? he looked like he was really nice but there were moments where i was really scared of him. well maybe not him but rather… that curse."

"uh, yuta is actually not that scary. he's really helpful and always there for you when you need advice. i think i've improved a lot since we've started talking." you made a mental note to thank yuta again if you got to see each other anytime soon. apparently, gojo had sent him on a mission overseas a few months back and ever since, your exchanged messages grew to be rather sporadic. still, you appreciated that he made an effort to text you every now and then to let you know how he was doing and in turn, also asked about your wellbeing.

"fraternizing with the enemy, i see," noritoshi's voice rang out beside you, dangerously close to your ear. it made you jump in surprise, not having sensed him earlier - your hand automatically shot out to hit him, only for him to catch it in time. you shot him an annoyed glare. beside you, miwa and todo glanced at each other, silently agreeing to ignore the squarreling pair.

"i don't see how that's any of your business."

"it is if it jeopardizes our chance at winning," noritoshi narrowed eyes at you in suspicion. of course he didn't trust you, you were nothing but a mild inconvenience to him. you didn't owe him an explanation, not today and not in the future. any friendship or friendliness between you was long gone. refusing to look into his eyes, you attempted to tug your hand away from him but instead accomplished the exact opposite as noritosh tightened his grip. "what did you tell him?"

"he only helped me with training, that's all! it doesn't concern you anyways so-"

noritoshi was irritated, you could tell. the anger was rolling off him in waves, intimidating even you. why was he so annoyed by the fact that you asked yuta for advice? it wasn't even farfetched - the only other alternatives were gojo and ieiri, both of which you hadn't mustered up the courage to ask yet. wasn't it in everyone's best interest for you to become a great healer? noritoshi would know best - he was the driving force behind your ambition, the sole reason why you worked to the brink of exhaustion just to show him that you didn’t need his help, that you were worthy of a higher rank.

"i don't want you to hang out with the tokyo tech kids, especially not with him."

"wait, what?" you gaped at him in disbelief. "is this just because you have personal beef with some of them? leave me out of this, i just want to improve and you don't get to tell me what to do." with that you shoved the taller male, stomping past the other students towards utahime who was looking at you in disapproval. you missed the upset frown on noritoshi's face as he followed you, wanting to reach out but stopping midway. it wasn't the right time or place to let you know why he didn't want you around them, not yet. seeing you hang out and being relaxed with everyone else but him hurt him, oh how it hurt him. he wanted you close to him, only see him, talk about him excitedly and with stars in your eyes like you did when you talked about yuta. and yet, he couldn't let you know. the only way to keep you orbiting around him was to play these silly games, rile you up and drawing a reaction out of you. it was the only way to make you pay attention to him. and so he did.

calm and collected, my ass, you thought two hours later. of course todo and noritoshi had completely eviscerated the rest of the students with no mercy, leaving everyone in a sour mood. whatever strategy your team would have for the tournament was probably thrown out the window, the two of them would take care of it anyways. not that they would stand a chance against yuta.

“yuta isn’t here?” the disappointment in your voice was palpable. you did look forward to meeting yuta again, thinking that he might have come home from his overseas trip for the tournament. but you supposed getting to know the other students wasn’t too bad, you were interested in the first years and their skills. they certainly looked more approachable than your classmates. miwa told you how todo and mai had met two of them a few weeks prior and promptly started a senseless fight that was then stopped by the second years. it landed them in the water as utahime gave them a lecture - while she didn't tolerate the childish behaviour, everyone else seemed to turn a blind eye to it. noritoshi had scoffed in disapproval upon hearing the news, uttering something about not wanting to associate with dimwits like them.

"nope, he's still overseas. it doesn't matter anyways, we'll still beat you without him," maki replied with a confident grin, arms crossed as she took in the kyoto tech group of students. regardless, you broke out in a sprint and jumped, engulfing her in a warm hug. while you two didn't talk as much as yuta and you did, you were still friends. she was a source of inspiration to you, a master of all kinds of weapons whom you deeply admired. maki gave you some awkward pats before pulling away to introduce you to the first years - megumi, yuji and nobara. the younger students were wary of you, most likely because of their encounter with todo and mai. you couldn't hold it against them, their intensity and stubbornness was something you had to deal with daily after all. you silently cursed the two brash students before taking a deep breath and extending your hand to the ones in front of you.

“hi, i’m y/n, nice to meet you,” you introduced yourself with a friendly smile, visibly relieved when they shook your hand and introduced themselves. especially nobara seemed to be eager to get to know you, fussing over your uniform and inquiring about your skills. you were glad they welcomed you, not wanting to cause any more trouble than would undoubtedly arise for the duration of the tournament. while megumi seemed to be cautious and more reserved around you, yuuji and nobara already treated you like their friend. subconsciously, you envied them for the wholesome friendship dynamic as it reminded you of what you used to have with noritoshi. the fleeting thoughts left as soon as they made an appearance in your head, disappearing when nobara grasped your hand and pulled you towards the buildings to show you around. unbothered by the reactions of your fellow kyoto tech classmates, you followed her - their energy was stifling and the tournament didn't start until later in the day anyways. it was useless to stay with your group and practice, you'd only overexert yourself.

“y/n.” noritoshi called after you sternly, glaring at you when you turned to look at him - ever since stepping foot into the estate, he was moody and more serious than usual. it was probably him being tense about the tournament, the spirit to win deeply ingrained in his bones. none of the other students seemed to be bothered by the presence of the tokyo tech students, so why should he? ignoring him, you continued your journey until you felt a force harshly pulling you back by the fabric of your hoodie. intuitively, you could tell it was noritoshi.

"noritoshi, let me go," you snapped at him irritated, struggling to free yourself from his grasp.

"we have things to discuss, did you forget that?"

"i don't want to," like a petulant child, you gave him an angry look as you stood your ground. tension filled the space between you, tethering on the edge of anger. why was a normal conversation never possible with him? and why did he treat you like a child? you let up when megumi appeared to your side, shooting noritoshi a warning glance as he attempted to remove his hand from yours. even though he didn't know what your relationship was like, he stepped in regardless - you were impressed by him. even if noritoshi remained calm, he was a menace to deal with afterwards.

"she said no, didn't you hear-"

"get your hands off of her." noritoshi growled at megumi, the sudden influx of cursed energy that was surrounding him made all students in close proximity freeze. you couldn't hide you shock either, he had never been this threatening towards someone else. he might push boundaries to the extreme, knowing that he could away with it due to his bloodline and family name but he had never outright threatened anyone that didn't do his bidding. with those words he pulled you towards him, wrapping his arm around your waist protectively. paralyzed, you blankly stared at him. his cursed energy was suffocating you, never had you experienced this amount of pressure. not only that, the unusual closeness set your heart ablaze, burning down the walls that you'd carefully constructed around it.

"you're being ridiculous," megumi challenged the older male, unbothered by the strong pressure. he didn't understand why noritoshi was making a big deal out of this. surely he didn't consider megumi a threat? noritoshi's hold on you strengthened and with panic you realized the blood-red markings appearing on his face, he was being serious, oh god he was going to rip megumi apart-

"hey hey, stop it you two," panda's voice snapped you out of your trance and seemingly noritoshi's as well as he wacked his arm. "you just got here and you're already stirring up trouble, are you not ashamed?"

noritoshi simply scoffed and let you go, his cursed energy dissipating with the movement. the rest of the students were as stunned as you were, no one daring to make another move until the tension evaporated. todo was the only one who looked rather annoyed, smacking the back of noritoshi’s head as he started to tell him off - noritoshi, however, kept walking past him towards the dorms that they were staying at for the week. it was almost like there was steam coming off his head as a result of holding his anger in. nobara gaped at you in surprise, pointing at you accusingly. “i didn’t know that was your boyfriend!”

you spluttered in horror, quickly reaching out to her to try and cover her mouth so she wouldn’t say anything incriminating. “n- no you got it wrong! we’re not together, not at all! i hate noritoshi,” you floundered, hastily trying to set the record straight. nobara didn’t look like she believed you, pushing your hands away while giggling. she wiggled her eyebrows at you, whispering at you about how lucky you were to snag such a handsome guy although she thought that he really didn’t have to overreact like that because megumi was harmless. covering your face in embarrassment, you turned away from her and caught a glimpse of an amused todo winking at you.

“i’m serious, nobara!" whatever whining you did, the two of them didn’t let up, making you wonder what you ever did wrong to deserve this scrutiny. as your last resort you grabbed nobara's hand, dragging her along towards a secluded area in the estate. being the subject of the earlier conflict was already troubling enough, you didn't want the other students to get the wrong idea by her wild speculations. nobara was still giggling when you arrived, pinching your arm playfully.

“c’mon, it’s impossible that there is not something between you! did you see the look on his face? i don’t think he would have cared had it been any other person,” she gushed excitedly, her face lighting up in glee. with no doubt, nobara enjoyed poking her nose in other people's business, seemingly having a knack for sniffing out the hidden. a dejected sigh left your lip. a younger you would have jumped in happiness after finally receiving noritoshi's attention but the present you knew better. there wasn't more to it, you told yourself and yet, a tiny sliver of doubt made its way into your mind. could he really have been so bothered by another male being so close to you? todo didn't count, obviously.

"no, there's nothing to it, i promise. we don't have the best relationship anymore and mostly fight. i mean yeah his reaction was really uncharacteristic but…"

"anymore?"

"noritoshi and me grew up together and were childhood friends. i- i didn't agree with his antics as we grew up and we drifted apart after that and now… hate each other? he’s just unbearable and we don’t get along. everyone at kyoto tech knows that so they’re mostly ignoring our fights. and it’s childish, i know, i know..."

“are you sure? like super duper sure? because it didn’t look like it to me,” nobara contemplatively rubbed her chin. the wheels were turning in her head, something didn’t quite add up. even at first glance, whatever you said made her feel doubtful.

“trust me, i wish it was different too. i mean i used to like him a lot and it makes me sad and i wish we could at least be civil around each other. but he just makes me so angry,” your ramblings stopped nobara’s thinking - so that’s what it was. normally, nobara really didn’t care about other people’s business but this was too juicy to pass up. how far could she push it to make you realize?

why was the layout of all these buildings so confusing? and why were there so many buildings to begin with? you’ve been wandering around for at least five minutes now and you still couldn’t figure out where the hell yuji’s and megumi’s rooms were supposed to be. they didn’t even have any signs around. at this point, it didn’t matter if it took longer than anticipated - the others could wait. nobara had insisted on having a small get together the night before, to get to know each other and play some card games. you couldn’t refuse, it’s been a while since you just hung out with friends without any quarreling. there was no harm in getting to know you future colleagues, even though your classmates were treating them like criminals. so instead of going herself and much to your dismay, nobara had sent you to fetch the other two students, claiming that you would be fine if you just stuck to the measly sketch she’d made for you. most of the rooms you’ve already knocked at remained empty so you couldn’t be far from their rooms, you concluded.

stopping in front of the last remaining door of the corridor, you took a deep breath. this had to be one of their rooms. slowly, you raised your hand to knock at the door when it was suddenly yanked open, startling you in the process and making you drop the piece of paper you were holding. what you weren’t expecting was coming face to face with noritoshi who looked at you as equally confused. he was the last person you wanted to see today, not wanting to confront him about his actions earlier. you couldn’t wrap your head around it; why had he overreacted in such a way? it wasn’t like you were in danger or in need of protection. for a brief moment, you thought that there was a sliver of strange possessiveness. you couldn’t quite place the emotions in his eyes, it made you shudder.

“oh uh, sorry. i was looking for yuji and megumi and this is very obviously not one of their rooms. sorry again. i’ll take my leave,” you awkwardly stammered, taking a step back. noritoshi’s figure was towering over you and in a rare moment, you felt intimidated by him. perhaps it was the dark look in his eyes that told you that he was not thrilled by what you just told him. before you could react, he swiftly grabbed your arm and pulled you inside his room, trapping you against the door.

“w- wait!” you protested weakly, pushing at his chest until his face slowly came into your vision. you couldn’t help but stare at his lips, watching them move as he was talking to you. your ears were ringing, you couldn’t tell what he was saying. the close proximity was suffocating and yet you craved more, not wanting to let him go.

“y/n? did you hear me?”

“huh?” snapping out of your trance, you looked at him dumbfounded. noritoshi was frowning at you, slightly concerned about your state as you didn’t answer him. just then you finally got a proper look at him. it was a rare sight; noritoshi wearing casual clothes, a simple oversized shirt and shorts, and his hair down without the bindings. feeling nostalgic, your heart clenched. he looked like his old self, the ‘toshi that you loved dearly.

“i said, i don’t want you around them. i don’t- i don’t like seeing you with them,” noritoshi repeated with a strained voice. he placed his hands beside your head, inching closer to you.

“what- noritoshi, you don’t get to tell me who i can hang out with! last time i checked, we’re not even friends anymore so where do you get the idea that you can do this? what’s the big deal ab-” you didn’t get to finish your sentence when he pressed his lips against yours clumsily. you seized up in shock, not returning the kiss as a whirlwind of thoughts entered your mind. holy shit, he was really kissing you. but you hated each other, so why? why, why, why. when you didn’t respond, noritoshi pulled away in panic, spluttering apologies as he moved away from you. your emotional world was in chaos, all the buried and forgotten feelings for him breaking the dams and flooding your senses until the yearning became too much. you were reminded of the conversation you had with your mother years ago - you still wanted him, missed him. you wanted him by your side. desperately, you reached out, fisting the fabric of his shirt as you leaned up to kiss him. noritoshi caught you in his arms, wrapping them around you as he fervently returned the kiss. he was holding you like he was afraid you would dissipate into thin air, frantically pulling you in. his hands were roaming, discovering the expanse of your body.

his touches left you feeling delirious, high on pleasure. a mewl left your lips, pleading him for something, for more. your hands moved higher, feeling his chest and broad shoulders before you wrapped your arms around his neck. his name left your lips in breathy sighs as he peppered kisses down your jaw, pulling the collar of your shirt to the side to gain more access to the expanse of your neck. suddenly, you were hoisted up and pressed against the door as noritoshi held you by your thighs. you struggled to wrap your legs around his waist, to distracted by his relentless ministrations. by the time he's left multiple hickeys on your neck, you were whimpering mess. noritoshi's breath was taken away at the sight of you in his arms, lips swollen from the kisses, the glossy eyes, dishevelled hair and the hickeys that were slowly becoming more visible. he couldn't understand how carelessly you were letting him proceed when you supposedly harboured a strong dislike for him. nevertheless, he enjoyed it and wanted to savour the moment, ingrain it into his memory so he'd never forget why he was treating you like a nuisance.

a loud knock resounded from the door, followed by someone shouting: "noritoshi? has y/n been here?"

out of sheer shock, you shoved noritoshi away from you and nearly fell as you attempted to detangle yourself from him. he caught you in time, signalling you to stay quiet as the person outside was still shuffling around nervously. you slumped against him limply, letting your head rest against his chest. his heart was beating erratically. it made yours fill with pride as you could tell that you had the same effect on him as he did on you. still, the precarious situation suddenly dawned on you - you'd just made out with your sworn enemy and, yes you used to have a crush on him, enjoyed it very much. and by the looks of it, he would have continued if you hadn't pushed him away. the entire ordeal greatly confused you; was noritoshi just playing around with you? it couldn't be, he had initiated it after all. the cold treatment he usually gave you didn't match with his actions just now. you couldn't get close to him, not when he gave you mixed signals. you wanted someone who cherished you and was always sincere so you wouldn't have to second guess their actions.

"huh, i guess noritoshi's already sleeping. we'll have to check somewhere else, i hope she didn't get lost," the person outside mumbled as you stayed silent. the sound of shuffling was heard, then steps away from the room. you stayed put until you were sure they were gone and gently removed yourself from noritoshi's grip, not looking him in the eyes. he didn’t move, letting you go willingly.

“i’m sorry, i don’t know what came over me,” you apologized with a pained voice. “please forget that it ever happened and uhm, please don’t tell anyone.”

noritoshi’s eyes widened at your pleas, moving to stop you from leaving so he could explain himself to you. “y/n, wait, i can ex-”

hastily, you stumbled to open the door, dashing away from him until the building was out of your sight. you poorly hid behind a tree, sinking to your knees as you buried your face in your hands. what the hell. you just made out with your childhood friend turned enemy. your buried feelings were all over the place and your mind just couldn’t stay still. it messed with your outlook as well as your image of noritoshi, distorting and twisting it until you had to rethink your relationship. maybe all this time, you subconsciously hoped that he would return back to his old self and somehow give you an explanation. never having received closure on the end of your friendship, you would even forgive him for the sake of your relationship. were you this shallow? no, you simply harboured a lot of feelings for him. you weren’t able to tell what his thought process was - was he even interested in you? did he see you like that?

“there you are,” you lifted your head to see gojo walking towards you with his hands stuffed inside the pockets of his pants. you almost didn’t recognize him as he simply wore a pair of sunglasses and let his hair down. “the others are looking for you. what are you doing out here? trouble in paradise?”

“n-no! i just needed some time away from everyone to- to catch my breath,” you exclaimed indignantly and perhaps too hastily you realized when gojo smirked at you knowingly. why did everyone assume that there was anything between noritoshi and you? was it that obvious?

“uh huh. that’s not what your neck says,” gojo pointed out while wiggling his eyebrows and offered you a hand to stand up. “he really doesn’t like any competition.”

“fuck,” you cursed quietly, covering the hickeys with one hand while taking gojo’s with your other and pulling yourself up. it was embarrassing enough to meet one of the teachers like this but it was even more embarrassing to know that your teacher had seen the aftermath of your makeout session.

“i��m not gonna tell anyone, if that’s what you’re concerned about. although it would certainly be funny to tease little noritoshi,” gojo was giggling and you knew he was greatly amused by the entire situation. it almost reminded you of nobara. you groaned in frustration as you trailed behind him towards the girls’ dorms. you needed to hide your neck so no one would question it or grill you until you confessed; the potential embarrassment was mortifying.

your group strategy was already falling apart when todo suddenly disappeared in the depths of the forest, not caring about your teamwork in the slightest. normally, it would frustrate you a lot more if you weren’t already preoccupied with your own troubles. todo would be fine anyways, the remaining group members could work on a strategy on their own. as mechamaru and mai were discussing, you shot a glance at noritoshi. he looked as deadpan as usual, probably not listening to the discussion as he worked better on his own and it was more or less decided that mechamaru and him would be moving on their own while the others would team up. otherwise, you couldn’t tell whether he was bothered by what had transpired between you the night before. on the contrary, he looked calm and composed, probably more focused on his goal than anything else. and for some reason it bothered you.

when you’d returned to nobara’s room last night, gojo had helped you make up an excuse. while dramatically gesturing around, he’d told them that he intercepted her journey towards the boys’ dorms to recruit you for training, claiming that he wanted to teach you more about reverse cursed techniques. although he saved you from scrutiny and embarrassment, you couldn’t help but feel like he might use it as leverage in the future. it was gojo after all, he was unpredictable. absentmindedly, you agreed to whatever plan the others had schemed and grabbed your sword, getting ready to move to your assigned position with miwa. while you had heard of the other students’ skills, you weren’t sure where to place their levels as there was always room for surprises. underestimating opponents was a beginner's mistake. the bell rang out, signaling the start of the tournament; with swift movements, the group members dispersed and slowly moved towards the "enemy".

in the distance, you could already hear loud explosions - it was probably mechamaru happily blasting away his opponents. you gritted your teeth in annoyance, the blasts were too loud for you to make out anyone approaching you. and as you predicted, someone was taking advantage of the noise to stalk up on you. barely being able to block the blow with your sword, you found yourself opposite of maki who was grinning at you. the challenging glint in her eyes told you that she wasn't going to go easy on you but you welcomed it. it was a good opportunity for you to grow and hone your sword wielding skills.

however, it proved to be more difficult to defeat maki than you'd originally anticipated. in mere minutes, maki had already disarmed miwa, leaving her defenseless and you were hanging on a bare thread. your grip on the sword was weakening, laboured breath making your ears ring. it was frustrating, knowing that after all those months of rigorous practice, you still couldn't win a fight. giving up wasn't an option, at the very least you had to give it your all.

"c'mon, you can do better than this!" maki teased you as you ducked away from the swipe of her spear. it missed you by a hair's width and left you scrambling to create more distance between you so you could heal yourself. maki's relentless hits didn't give you any rooms for it - you really had to learn how to constantly apply it to yourself without losing time. from the corner of your eyes, you could see that miwa had picked up the phone. she was probably calling for help, you thought and dished out another hit towards maki which she skillfully dodged. instead, she delivered another blow to your legs, making your knees buckle from the force. you used your sword to support you and took another breath before you tried to lunge at her. in the distance, miwa suddenly collapsed, making you stop mid-move and took another hit from maki that took all the air in your lungs.

"eyes on your opponent, y/n. you know better than to get distracted in a fight, you could've been killed in a real fight," maki reprimanded you as you coughed heavily, gasping for air as you slowly got back up. you were unsteady on your feet, not having enough energy to even heal yourself. conflicted by whether you should face maki again or help miwa, your eyes were flitting between them. maki took advantage of your uncertainty, dealing another blow to you that knocked the sword out of your hand. as your last resort, you kicked at her feet, trying to get her to fall, only to have her pin you to the ground.

"you're going to have to practice a lot more to beat me in the future," she sighed, picking up your sword. panic welled up in your chest - the sword was the only way you could possibly somewhat win this fight but even subconsciously you knew that it was over. reaching out for the sword in desperation, your vision was clouded with tears. it was frustrating, so so frustrating. why couldn't you be as talented as her? or have fast reflexes like noritoshi? why were you ordinary, not being able to make any progress no matter how hard you try?

"i know but i can't give up now!" you defiantly retorted, pushing at her with all might. "i have to win, i just have to show my skills for once and prove myself, i- i-"

even maki softened up at your heart wrenching sobs, easing up on her grip. you both knew it was over. you were probably already eliminated from the tournament, with no other possibility to redeem yourself. she knew that you tried your best and never once underestimated her but something irked her. it was your motivation, your driving force.

"y/n, there's no shame in losing. that's how you grow, make mistakes and learn from them. you tried your best, it's not easy to stand against me for so long."

"i know but there's- i'm still not where i need to be! look at how much progress the others are making in comparison to me! i've been practicing day and night and still, no one is noticing me. i'm just a measly healer and i-"

"y/n." maki cut you off sternly. "is this your motivation? proving yourself to others? you'll not be able to improve if you keep fighting for others. you need to start working on yourself, for yourself. you don't owe anyone anything. but you have to realize that trying to satisfy other people's needs will only make you unhappy and hinder your growth."

"i'm unhappy with my skills! i keep telling myself that it's okay, that i have a rare cursed technique but sometimes i just wish i had a flashy technique or be as strong as you. i don't want to be looked at as if i need protection, i don't want it! i just-" you hiccuped, sniffling again as you wiped your tears with the sleeves of your uniform. "i just want someone to acknowledge me, want him to accept me as an equal…"

"who?" maki's cold look made you freeze in your movements. you didn't mean to let that slip. no one needed to know that the entire time, you were vying for noritoshi's attention. but she was right; there was no point in giving it your all if it wasn't for yourself. it was a silly, childish dream of yours to be equal with him again. he was far out of reach and you couldn't catch up to him.

"n- noritoshi," you admitted in defeat. maki saw right through you, there was no point in lying. she raised her eyebrows at you but didn't question it further. after all, you hadn't told her about the background story. unless nobara had done so, you wouldn't doubt it.

"i'm not gonna ask you why. but this is my advice, do not fight for somebody else. if you relentlessly work on yourself for your own benefit, you'll see progress a lot faster. your technique might not be flashy but it is powerful, remember that. you're a valuable asset to every team," she concluded and pulled you up, awkwardly patting your back as you still sniffled. maki opened her mouth to tell you some comforting words but froze when another extremely loud boom resounded near the entrance of the estate. your eyes widened at the sudden influx of cursed energy - there was no doubt that a high-level curse had just entered the school grounds. you turned to maki to tell her the news but she'd already moved, pointing to miwa.

"take her to a safe place, you can't stay here! in your state, you wouldn't last against such a strong curse," maki yelled at you as she disappeared in the woods. you scrambled frantically, not wanting to be left behind. while you were useless for the tournament, you could at least still be of assistance against a curse. miwa was still laying on the ground, unmoving. you shook her gently, scared that she was seriously hurt. it seemed like she was just sleeping instead; you were relieved. throwing her across your shoulder, you winced in pain but persisted nonetheless. you had to get her away from here, who knows what curses were roaming around. your senses were flooded with the stench of blood and debris, the pressure of cursed energy, the loud rumbles. you couldn't tell where the others were but you hoped they were safe.

a loud thud startled you and you stopped, ready to draw your sword until realization hit you that it was utahime that was inspecting you. determined, you thrusted miwa's limp body towards utahime.

"miwa will be okay, she's just sleeping! i'm okay too, don't worry, please just take care of her and i'll check on the others!"

"y/n, don't be stupid! you're injured and in no state to help others." utahime attempted to convince you; you shook her off stubbornly, insisting that you were fine.

"what if the others get hurt? i have to help them or at least warn them!" your resolve was firm and unwavering that even utahime couldn't convince you otherwise. slipping out of her grasp, you sprinted towards the source of the cursed energy. from far away you could already see the damage that the curse had caused. multiple buildings were torn apart, trees dislodged and- were those branches rapidly growing out of the ground? you watched in horror as the branches whipped around, following running figures on the rooftop of one of the buildings. upping your speed, you jumped towards the group to aid them. as you neared them, you could make out inumaki, noritoshi, and megumi fighting against the curse, maki trailing close behind.

they barely stood a chance against the curse, every hit that they dealt, the curse would come out unscathed. "what's the deal with that curse?" you asked, panting as you joined them, coming to a halt behind inumaki. megumi was yelling something but you couldn't hear him as noritoshi turned to you and shoved you out of the way.

"y/n, what are you doing here?"

"helping you guys? what the fuck does it look like?" you yelled back exasperated. why was he mad at you in such a situation? they needed any helping hand they could get to defeat the curse. while you weren't useful in fights, you could at least provide continuous healing. noritoshi didn't have any time to reply as the curse lashed out again, dodging it by jumping to the side. you stayed close to inumaki, swiftly healing him when he collapsed from the rebound of his cursed speech. you clenched your jaw, not wanting the others to see that you were slowly running out of energy and strength. next thing you know, a body was hurled through the air, landing near you with a thud. your heart filled with dread when your eyes fell onto the figure, recognizing noritoshi.

"y/n, heal them as best as you can and get out of here! take them to the teachers!" maki yelled out and this time you obeyed, too panicked about noritoshi's state. you were thankful that inumaki had enough energy to run after you'd healed him - hauling noritoshi's tall frame around was already difficult enough but even more so when you were exhausted. as you neared the gates, utahime was already running towards you with a concerned look on her face. you were glad that she was nearby, it meant that gojo and the other teachers were close and could defend you.

"what happened?" utahime worried but you couldn't reply. falling to your knees, you gently laid noritoshi on the ground. the injuries looked bad, there was blood everywhere. you had to stop the wound on his head from bleeding but your trembling hands were preventing you from doing so.

"i- i don't know, i just- i think the curse hit him and now he's unconscious and he's losing so much blood and-"

utahime pinched you firmly, snapping you out of your panic. she was already holding a cloth to noritoshi's temple to stop the bleeding. patting your hand, she told you in a gentle voice: "heal him if you still have enough strength but don't overexert yourself. ieiri will be here soon."

nodding frantically, you placed your trembling hands on his abdomen and let your cursed energy flow. the strength was slowly leaving your body but you had to save him. you had to make sure he was okay, he couldn't die, not like this. regret was bubbling up inside you; what if this was the last time you would ever get to see him?just as you felt his energy responding to yours and saw his hand moving slightly, you couldn't hold yourself upright anymore. the last thing you saw was utahime reaching out to catch you as you collapsed.

you woke up with a startle, gasping for air as you sat up abruptly. sunlight was flooding the room and it felt uncomfortably hot on your skin. you pushed the blanket back but stopped halfway in your movement. your entire body hurt, muscles burning and screaming for more rest. and yet you couldn’t stay still as you remembered the previous events. how long were you out for? was everyone okay? gritting your teeth, you slowly moved out of the room. again, you were faced with the endless maze that was the tokyo tech buildings and stopped in your tracks, not sure which direction to go. you let out a sigh of relief when you spotted yuji in the distance, waving at him to get his attention.

“y/n!” yuji ran towards you, frantically gesturing towards your room. “you’re supposed to be resting! what are you doing here?”

“is everyone okay?” you croaked, now realizing how dry your throat was.

“yeah, ieiri did a good job of healing everyone! some of us are still resting though and so should you.”

“no, i… is noritoshi okay?”

“noritoshi? oh, you mean the guy with the long hair?” yuji nodded, curiously eyeing you as your shoulders dropped, the stress rolling of them. “yeah, he’s still recovering though. ieiri said that his injuries were probably the worst so he’s not allowed to leave the bed.”

“can you take me to him?” you asked with a small voice, doing your best to muster up a puppy face. yuji sighed, scratching his head sheepishly. you could see the conflict in his eyes, that he was thinking about rejecting your request. in the end, he shook his head in defeat and motioned for you to follow him. a small grin found its way onto your lips - yuji was just too nice, he couldn’t say no when people ask him for favours. the walk to noritoshi’s room was silent, neither of you knowing what to say. you knew it was selfish of you not to ask him about his wellbeing more or visit the others but you just had to see for yourself that noritoshi was okay. yuji stopped in front of a door, pointing at it.

“this is his room. he might be sleeping though… my room is down the hall so if you need me to accompany you back to your room, just call me.”

you thanked him quietly and watched as he retreated. taking a deep breath, you knocked at the door and waited for a reply. a few moments passed before noritoshi’s voice rang out, giving you the okay to enter. gingerly, you opened the door and entered the room. noritoshi was sitting on his bed, reading a book as if nothing had happened. you looked at him bewildered. he didn’t look like his injuries fazed him at all. despite the bandages around his head and arms, he remained calm as if nothing hurt.

“noritoshi,” you breathed out, taking a seat on the chair near the bed. he didn’t spare you a look, keeping his eyes on the book. “i uhm. i’m glad you’re okay! when i saw you in that state, i was so so scared that i could lose you… i did my best to heal you, i know i didn’t do much but-”

“i didn’t need your help,” noritoshi snapped at you, placing the book on his lap. “i would’ve been fine without it.”

you were stunned. why was he so agitated? after you initial shock, you huffed in frustration. “what the hell, you could’ve died! i was trying so hard to keep you alive and you react like this? i know you don’t like me but even this is a low blow for you!”

“it wouldn’t have been a problem if you hadn’t inserted yourself into everything! you’re not helping anyone, just dragging us down; everything could’ve gone well if it wasn’t for you standing in the way,” noritoshi countered as frustrated, this time actually looking at you. you stared back at him in disbelief. you saved his life and he had the nerve to shot you down like this.

“does it really hurt your ego to admit that i was actually helpful? we were friends at some point so why do you insist on being such a dick? and here i was, finally thinking that we were getting somewhere- for fuck’s sake, we kissed and-”

“leave.”

you stopped rambling. the tired tone in his voice, the deadpan look on his face; he was serious. you couldn’t believe him. tears welled up in your eyes as you leaped from the chair and hastily exited the room, slamming the door in anger.

you never wanted to see him again.

p.s: yes nobara gave you a wrong sketch of the buildings what about it hehe

taglist: @milkteeboba

#jujutsu kaisen #noritoshi kamo #kamo noritoshi #noritoshi #noritoshi x reader #noritoshi kamo x reader #kamo noritoshi x reader #noritoshi kamo x you #noritoshi x you #kamo noritoshi x you #noritoshi kamo imagines #kamo noritoshi imagines #noritoshi imagines #jujutsu kaisen imagines #fic: sanguine #writing #i am so sorry for the garbage that you just read

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ushidoux · 3 years

Text

Not Enough - Oikawa (Haikyuu) x Reader x Gojo (JJK)

Summary: Your relationship with Oikawa feels more like a curse than anything else as it comes to a close. (~4.2k words) or tl;dr gojo is mr. steal your girl

Warnings: breakup, idk Gojo is a warning, cracky angst?, pegging mention, yandere themes

A/N: Ngl I’m patting myself on the back for making a crossover fic work somewhat LOLLLL, you can roll your eyes if you want this is hella melodramatic.

(if you wanna commission more niche things, you can always dm me <3)

---

“I-I think it’s best for us to end things here, Tooru...”

Oikawa’s fingers tightened around the cell phone in his hand at the sound of your shakily delivered proposition, and further at the abrupt pregnant pause thereafter - not because he was angry, nor afraid, but out of an all-encompassing confusion.

Two things were wrong with this situation. First of all, it was late enough for you, thousands of miles away, that he was genuinely surprised that you were still awake in the first place and the fact that your voice was thick with tears was particularly upsetting, implying that you’d been up all night before you decided to call. Second, you had to be feeling unwell because you were talking pure nonsense.

He must have not heard correctly. You wanted to ‘end things’?

End what? You and him? That couldn’t possibly happen.

Moments passed, maybe even a full minute, and Oikawa stood perfectly still in spite of the uncomfortable combination of a weightless sensation in his legs and a feverish pounding in his chest as he tried to let himself understand what you were saying. Suddenly lightheaded, he realized he had been holding his breath while you remained quiet on the other end of the line. Maybe he was hoping for you to fill the silence, but he knew you wouldn’t offer anything additional; he could tell from the single soft sniffle that betrayed your sadness.

He sucked air into his lungs.

“I... don’t know what you mean,” Oikawa replied, his voice steady even if his body wasn’t.

You continued.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore. It’s really hard… and I get so lonely, and I know it’s wrong, but sometimes it hurts to see you so happy without me…”

Your voice was smaller still, enough that he strained to hear you past the rush of blood past his temples. For a moment, he considered pretending he couldn’t hear you say such unpleasant things just so that he wouldn’t have to deal with the reality unfolding in front of him in this disdainfully sunny early afternoon, while he stood in the middle of the hallway right outside of his high rise apartment.

The fact that you had finally given up on him after all this time.

In a small way, Oikawa couldn’t blame you. While he had been gone chasing his dream, the emerging star had just as quickly been running further away from you day by day. He knew this was mostly his fault: he called you less frequently and whenever you did talk, the conversations were shorter and less substantial until you and he both felt like your interactions were a simple chore, a checkbox on his never-ending to-do list.

But yet, he could and would absolutely blame you. Long distance was hard but you had promised you’d stay by his side, hadn’t you? You’d promised him, rain or shine, through drought and storm. What could possibly be the issue now?

Even if you hurt, it would only be temporary, and he could always make up for it in full or even twice-fold. In fact, he was on his way to come see you in person this very second; it would just be mere hours before his flight would depart. Coming suddenly on holiday like this was meant to be a surprise, and his suitcase beside him was filled with gifts and souvenirs for you that would, at least partially, assuage your hurt.

At least he thought. Maybe the issue stemmed deeper, starting with the very fact that you weren’t such a fan of gifts - what you really craved was loyalty and quality time - and that too, he had chosen to ignore. Because it was easier to love you the way he wanted to love you, rather than the way you wanted to be loved.

You were often indecisive anyway. Did you ever truly know what you wanted?

“___, stop being silly. I love you -”, he paused at this last declaration for emphasis, gauging your reaction, of which you gave him none, then continued, “-and I’m coming to see you before the sun sets tomorrow,” he insisted, a stern edge in his voice to further supplant the denial that was keeping him able to breathe. Strength returning to his limbs, he resumed his path to the elevators, dragging his belongings behind him.

You were silly. You missed him and you were delirious from loneliness and sleep, and that’s why ridiculous things were coming out of your mouth, that’s all it had to be, he figured. End things? What you had was something precious and irreplaceable. Nothing could be better than what you were together.

It would be you and him for life, at least to him.

Unfortunately for you, that ideal had long since perished.

Any other time, you would have paused, your breath hitching in your throat, your heart pounding as you conjured up the image of your Tooru coming to be in your arms once more, to cross the vast distance and be yours again as it should be. He’d be quick to show you that he chose you over crowded gyms full of adoring spectators, a perfect set, the rush of victory, or a pretty Instagram model.

Any other time before, but time had run out with both you and him unsuspecting, in a flash of clear blue eyes.

---

A few months earlier...

“I’m not interested.”

Your voice was flat and so was your expression. Muttering a soft ‘excuse me’, you walked past the tall young man who had taken the fact that he’d helped you reach an item on the highest shelf (despite the fact that you were still somewhat tall, you still had struggled), as an invitation to follow you around the grocery store.

The stranger had started off indiscreetly at first, and you had to admit, when you’d passed him in the aisle, you had given him a double-take, and it wasn’t just because you were wondering how he could see the food before him with a black blindfold wrapped over his eyes, so you hadn’t thought too much of it. He was admittedly handsome - at least the lower part of his face was - and his relaxed voice and posture as he reached over and handed you your box of cereal reminded you just a smidge of your Tooru.

Your Tooru wouldn’t be caught in that nondescript dark ensemble, though.

Saying “thanks” and continuing on your merry way should have been enough. But instead, this same man had immediately started walking besides you as you pushed your cart as though he knew you, making comments about your groceries.

“I’m not particularly fond of eggs, but they’re a good source of protein.”

“You seem to have a sweet tooth, just like me!”

You probably should have been concerned about this man’s mental state, but he didn’t exactly seem harmful or delusional, just weird. But you were almost done with your shopping trip, and now he was in line with you with a single bag of chips in his hand, and it occurred to you for a while that this stranger might try to follow you home.

“Do you need something, sir?” You told him in exasperation.

He furrowed his eyebrows in mild confusion, still a smidge too close behind you and raised his bag of chips. “No, I’m fine.”

“Why are you following me?” You finally said, bolder than usual in this semi-crowded grocery store. You had had enough of being polite and you’d tried very hard so far. Today had been a long day and you just wanted to cook a meal and sleep, not argue with strangers.

“Oh, I was trying to be friendly,” he replied, shrugging, as though that were normal behavior, and thus here you were, switching lanes abruptly while making it clear to him that he needed to leave you the fuck alone.

Checking out of the store with your items occurred without incident but you had to admit you were both irritated and confused about that encounter, and again, while you didn’t exactly feel malicious intent or really any sort of ‘creepiness’ from the young man, the behavior was nevertheless alarming. You surreptitiously glanced over your shoulder just to make sure he wasn’t still in sight, only to catch him walking in the other direction, whistling again with the single bag of chips in his hand, now paid for.

Again stunned, you found yourself lost in a stare for a moment, a million questions in your head.

What was he trying to accomplish? And most importantly, how could he see with that blindfold?

What did he look like without it?

Quickly realizing your questions were getting absurd, you decided that whether he was attractive or not was a completely inconsequential thought, because the fact of the matter was that he had to be clinically insane. Absolutely.

With that thought in mind, you texted a friend briefly sparing the least salient details.

Call me in about thirty minutes if I don’t call you first. I’ll fill you in later.

Just for safety’s sake, but thankfully, you didn’t think you’d ever seen him again.

You may have brought up your odd encounter to Tooru that night, if he had managed to return your call.

---

“Go to sleep, I’ll talk to you when I land tomorrow. I love you, ____.”

Before you could protest, the line cut off abruptly and you lowered your phone to your lap. Now it was no longer just your voice wavering, but your entire body trembling as you sat over the side of your bed. You lurched forward, the pit of your stomach heavy with guilt.

Your Tooru was coming to see you and for once, he was the last person you wanted to see.

---

You had left your home a little later than usual but given that you would rather die than miss your morning coffee and croissant, you still stopped by your neighborhood bakery.

Noting that the line was a little longer than expected, you queued up, humming softly to the beats of your favorite song, not registering that the man standing before you had turned slowly in your direction and was now smiling down at you.

“Fancy seeing you here again.”

Your eyes furrowed as you looked up, then almost yelped in surprise when your eyes registered the same white-haired stranger who had stunned you at the supermarket lined up just two paces before you.

What the-

Of all the coffee shops in this city, why here? The hairs on your neck stood up on end, worse when he decided to keep speaking.

“Let me buy your coffee,” he proposed, tentatively. “Only condition is that you have to drink it with me.”

Today, the strangest of strangers almost looked normal; rather than a blindfold, his eyes were hidden by a dark pair of sunglasses and his hair had been allowed to fall into a slightly windswept cut. He was also dressed less eclectically, in a loose-necked long sleeved shirt and a pair of fitted dark jeans.

Like this, you could call him fashionable. He was definitely forward, at the very least.

He was obviously flirting and normally you would have a curt prepared answer for him, but the manner in which he leaned forward, smirking with hands on his hips, again felt too familiar. Like Tooru, who had forgotten to call you back and instead sent you a quick text that promised he’d get back to you.

If he remembered.

Before you knew it, and almost embarrassed as soon as it left your mouth, you blurted out, “I… have to go to work.”

It wasn’t a lie but for some reason it came out like one. Perhaps because what you would have normally said was, “I have a boyfriend,” without giving him a second look.

He frowned nevertheless.

“That’s too bad,” he finally said, letting out a loud sigh, excessively dramatic for the situation. You stared at him, dumbfounded, and he suddenly clasped his hands together, preparing to say something else but the barista had called for the next customer.

He made a motion for you to go before him, and flustered, you obliged, giving the barista a look that implored for help in any way he could offer it. The barista knew you well enough to ring up your order before you even asked for it, but not well enough to sense that the man behind you was actively harassing you.

“I can buy my own coffee, sir,” you murmured once you saw him rummage in his pockets and pull out his wallet while the barista went off to toast your pastry.

He grinned widely.

“Call me Satoru.”

---

“A drink for you, sir?”

The flight attendant’s voice betrayed a hint of irritation under her sweet tone of voice, hinting that she had been waiting for him to answer a while, and Oikawa realized that he had been staring at his phone for a lot longer than he expected. He flashed her his classic pearly whites before nodding, but the wheels in his head were still turning.

A mere couple of hours into the first leg of his flight back to Japan, he had taken to poring over his last few conversations with you.

Conversations that, at least from his end, had become pressured, short, and at times, he had been downright dismissive.

But he loved you - you had to understand that! It was a lot to manage: being available for you but also giving 150% of himself to the game.

So what if he missed your calls but kept his Instagram up-to-date? So what if he was a little bit too cozy with his fans (and known to be so)?

There was always you, and you were supreme. He’d do anything for you.

“Wine?” The attendant offered him the higher octave in her voice making it clear that Oikawa had managed to charm her back into her retail persona.

Maybe a glass, but he’d limit his drinking. He wouldn’t want to disappoint you when you met.

---

You were shocked.

Satoru stopped a car that was meant to crush you, and you were still trying desperately to comprehend what had just transpired.

You were possibly too eager to escape that coffee shop, to get away from the young man whose presence both unsettled your stomach and made your face grown warm, that you’d hurried out into the crosswalk, somewhat complicated drink and slightly crisped pastry in hand, and right into the path of a car hurtling through a red light.

You didn’t have time to scream or rarely even time to drop your drink, but the impact of your carelessness and preoccupation, between him, being late to work, wondering why the fuck your boyfriend had yet again forgotten to text back, never came.

Instead, the car seemed to halt to a stop almost immediately before you, before him who now stood before you with lips held into a neutral expression, and one hand in his pocket. Even if time seemed to stop for a split second, the force that should have struck your body didn’t, instead hurtling around you in a terrifying gust of wind.

But you were safe.

There was a shatter of glass windows as energy redistributed and the car took the brunt of the shock, and airbags deployed, engulfing the driver who could have possibly ended your life.

When Satoru finally turned to you slowly, looking at your cowering form, you finally caught a glimpse of piercing blue. For once he wasn’t smiling, and he was suddenly much more terrifying than anything else.

As though the mask had come off.

He didn’t ask if you were okay. Instead, he asked you to control your grief.

---

You shouldn’t be able to love anyone so much that your heart breaks repeatedly.

Something about you had to be pathological - it couldn’t be normal to feel the pain of separation this acutely. It was just a long-distance relationship, even if he was just getting more famous and less available by the day.

You shouldn’t wake up wondering if you could still breathe without him.

You shouldn’t.

---

“I’m a sorcerer,” Gojo revealed as he stirred a warm caramel latte, as though he had said the most natural thing in the world.

You tilted your head over so slightly, knit eyebrows betraying your confusion.

“... Like a circus performer?”

The repetitive turn of his wrist halted almost immediately and he looked at you, the constant smug smirk immediately awash from his features.

“Do I look like I belong in the circus?!” He half-exclaimed, half-whined, as though you were the only patrons in this bustling coffee shop. Part of you was bent on saying yes, but you kept mum yet staring at his face in distress, you find yourself stifling a giggle.

Now that he’d saved your life, you felt (and probably erroneously so) obligated to at least indulge him in coffee, and your curiosity about the young man sitting before you a whole day later now waffled between morbid and genuine.

Cursed energy? Leaking from you? Sorcery?

He cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair once he realized you were more entertained by his distress than anything else, crossing his arms and raising his legs on the table. You stared at the bottom of his shoes with mild disgust but instead focused on his face.

He really was like your Tooru, the boyfriend that slipped away from your reach in your nightmares, causing you to wake in a cold sweat. You shook the thought of your head, a quick barely perceptible movement, and crossed your own arms.

“You’re sad enough that I can sense it, which despite the fact that I am obviously quite gifted, can be a bit of an issue long term.”

“Why would it be an issue to you?”

“Because grief creates spirits and spirits are a pain in my ass.”

You furrowed your eyebrows again.

“So you followed me because you thought I was sad?” It sounded far fetched enough but absolutely on brand for a weirdo like the man before you. You took a sip of your tea - you’d picked chai for this… meeting. It wasn’t a date.

He grinned, an elbow rested on the table propping up his chin as he leaned back towards you.

“No, it’s because I thought you were beautiful.” ---

For the first time in a year, Oikawa’s first step back on Japanese soil did not immediately bring him joy but anxiety.

It was odd for him to feel anxiety, this unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach, but of course it would dissipate the moment he saw you.

But first, a warm shower in his new hotel room. Then he’d go to see you.

It felt odd not to have you waiting for him, your million dollar - no, priceless - smile on your face, so he could kiss you dramatically in the midst of all watching to again reassert that you are his, and his alone.

But you were upset, and understandably so.

So he would come to you, as a good boyfriend should.

---

“I have a boyfriend,” you told him immediately and indignantly, as you got up to leave. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you I’m not interested.”

He didn’t rise as fast as you did, watching you calmly instead as you balled your fists in irritation. It’s so shameless how he flirts, you thought. He’s so bold and rude and even if he’s a ‘sorcerer’ as he claims, there’s no spell that he can cast onto you that will make you leave Oikawa for him.

Not your Tooru, whose last Instagram post features a beautiful, tan, large-breasted and bikini-clad woman you’ve never met.

“Where is he then?” Satoru said in a low voice. He didn’t necessarily mean to cut but it did anyway. A lump formed in your throat.

“Overseas.”

---

The sound of chirping crickets is surprisingly loud for this part of the city, Oikawa considered, as he made his way towards your apartment building. It was an atypically warm evening for this point in the spring and he briefly mused if that is what excited them. Maybe they were cheering for him. They sounded a lot like the crowds if he closed his eyes.

He also hoped you had room for the gifts he carried with him, the most important of which was a Cartier bracelet he would hand to you once he departed, with a solid gold T for Tooru.

If he was on the search for fame and glory, he had to spoil you too, right?

To think that you were so angry with him that you had not yet contacted him since he had landed.

He knocked on your door finally, noting the shuffling of too many feet towards the door. This was the right door. He didn’t understand. Did you have friends over?

He called, and you didn’t immediately pick up.

---

“You have to leave!” You hissed. The statement was a plea and it was a command and it was a curse.

The blue of Satoru’s eyes was less electric in the dim moonlight, now more of a cool ice. Bare naked like this and barely visible save for the cracks of the illuminated city through your blinds, he was unfairly beautiful, as though he were carved out of marble. Again like your Tooru. Like, not better.

But still, he was there when Tooru wasn’t.

But Tooru was there now, knocking on your door, having traveled thousands of miles despite the fact that you had broken up with him just yesterday.

It was too little, too late.

But you didn’t love Satoru. He was just a band-aid for the loneliness that wrung agony out of you.

Right?

“I don’t want to leave,” your makeshift lover replied, flatly.

Your glare was sharp and instant, but Satoru matched your look, less pointed but unwilling to sway.

An unstoppable force, no different from the day he’d saved your life.

But he’d caused the problem in the first place, hadn’t he? Would you have run out so carelessly if not for him?

Your voice softened as you slipped on your clothes. The fight was lost before it started.

“Please? I… I can’t do this to him.”

Only a plea was left.

Your phone started to ring and your throat felt as though it would close up.

“___?”

Before you knew it, you heard your front door open and your heart dropped into your throat.

---

“What the fuck-”

Blue eyes were cruel.

Oikawa prided himself on his height but Satoru was taller, and his smirk was wide, while Oikawa’s face was ghostlike, devoid of any appreciable expression. Stunned.

“So you’re the boyfriend?” His voice dripped with mock amusement and he patted him on the shoulder before swinging open the door wide, letting Oikawa into his own girlfriend’s apartment, only to stand face to face with you whose feet seemed glued to the floor in shock.

“I.. T-Tooru..”

“Are you fucking serious?!”

His voice came out as a cry and his tears hot and fast. You never thought you’d see him crumple so fast, for you, for anything.

Your mouth opened and closed, and your hands shook but again, you stayed planted to the same spot while Satoru, still shirtless (but at least with the decency to have worn a pair of pants before answering the door), settled himself on the couch.

Before you could open your mouth to find a word to defend yourself to your sobbing boyfriend, your visitor let out an exaggerated yelp.

“____, you really showed no mercy on my asshole, did you?” he jeered. Then covering his mouth, he made a gesture of ‘Oops.’

What could you do?

Oikawa looked like he would stop breathing any second. He wanted to fight and maybe scream, but what use was that?

You had broken up with him yesterday.

You approached slowly, attempting maybe a touch, anything that would make your mistake less grievous.

You’d only been seeing Satoru for several weeks to… you weren’t sure why, really? Tooru was the one you loved. And to see him curl up like this… someone who was normally so proud...

You were disgusted with yourself.

“Tooru-”

“You said you’d wait for me.”

It was shocking how quick he rose, broken dignity, gifts and all.

“Tooru!”

He turned to leave, while Satoru contented himself on picking the earwax from his ears. It was easier to be like this, insufferable, than to gracefully accept the idea that his object of affection loved someone else.

He’d coveted you from the day he’d met you.

“Tooru!!!”

You were running after a man who gave 150% to everything, yet again.

Everything but you.

But had he at the very least given you 100%? You weren’t sure.

Oikawa was the last person who could accept the thought of someone else. You weren’t sure if he’d call you ever again. You weren’t even sure you wanted to break up.

Cursed energy. Maybe you didn’t just leak cursed energy. Maybe you were just cursed.

Heart shattering to pieces once Oikawa was no longer within view, you made it back to your room. Satoru was there waiting, and you couldn’t see the look in his eyes, but his arms were open, and so you fell into them.

#oikawa x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #commission work #crossover fic #haikyuu x reader #jjk x reader #haikyuu x jjk #mae.writing

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