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#essentialeating
highlifeboat · 3 months
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Do you think Mia sometimes suffer from imposter syndrome?
Like, sometimes she thinks over how much Dulvey changed her and it gets to the point she wonders she lost important of herself there and whatever did made it way back is just some twisted made up version of her, that has nothing to do with person she was.
It's mostly relevant to Zia AU, because in others Mia is too disconnected from her past to get in that mindsoace :p
Maybe.
I think Mia definitely suffers from the knowledge that she is not who she was. She doesn't enjoy things the same way she used to. She can't eat or do things she once liked. She doesn't feel the same. Of course, there are little things. Tiny comforts she still likes, but maybe not to the same extent that she once did.
Who ever "Mia Winters" really was before everything happened, died on that boat, on that farm. She's just a name now. And whoever she sees in the mirror is some hollowed out version of herself.
Perhaps it's another reason she goes mute for so long. As if even her own voice feels like a facade.
Mind you, she's most likely dug herself into a mental pit. I think the depression and various trauma make her believe in her imposter syndrome more than anything.
She might not be that Mia Winters anymore, but she still is Mia Winters. She's just having a hard time figuring out what that means now.
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dedtoot · 2 years
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i redrew my maybe the best contribution to this fandom
2020\2022
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and the last thiny
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bahoreal · 8 months
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FYCK
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fellhellion · 8 months
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my hubris is always trying to tackle all thirty thousand of my character thoughts in one fic
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rakkuntoast · 9 months
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youre very cool and love all of your art so so much, i want my own to have the same seemingly effortless appeal
for real tho, love you rak, youre super neat <3
akwawdajwd i am flattered anon thank you<3
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metacrisisdoctor · 1 year
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You made me think of something, maybe because tentoo is part human he can definitely find more ways to help Donna instead of being in that mindset of erasing her memories is the only way (he has a human way of thinking now so he can help more)
exactlyyyyy! i think it HAS to be tentoo related to some degree since he is part of why she lost her memories. something like that... him having this amazing life bc of her and she doesn't even remember him? i think it would bother him more and more over the years. i was thinking maybe he absords the rest of his mind she got during the metacrisis somehow? and then she jokes about how she doesn't have an extra heart laying around to give him or something 🥹
i think it would be actively weird for tentoo not to be part of it honestly.
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just logged into the toxic hockey discord to check the pens chat for news (I haven’t been on in a while) and got a message that I’ve been kicked out because “It has recently come to our attention that you shared things about the server outside of the server, which is in violation of our rules.” 🙄
I haven’t posted about that place in months. who the fuck is creeping on my blog? once again I ask, why are you obsessed with me?
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walking around town with 7 cds a walkman a pack of cigarettes + lighter a bottle of ritalin and a carabiner with my bus pass and a crucifix knife
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bitchapalooza · 2 years
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Proud of myself for showing restraint at the tanger today ksjdjdjs
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miss-floral-thief · 2 years
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hm, i’m recharged, i suppose, tho i don’t wanna text first
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vadersassistant · 1 year
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Irresistibly Yours One Shot (Darth Vader x Reader)
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Summary: (Y/N) has been hiding across the galaxy for a year, attempting to flee her husband alongside Obi-Wan Kenobi, but now it is over. When the Sith finally tracks her down she must make a choice, continue to live a lie or leave with the man she loves. Takes place during Kenobi with altered events. Reader is previously a Jedi married to Anakin Skywalker.
Warnings: Make out session, mentions of sex, slight violence (not towards reader)
A/N: The poll I made landed in a 50/50 between suited Vader and nightfall Vader so I'm giving you the best of both worlds. In which, Vader wears the suit and mask, but he can take it off and looks like the Anakin we know and love.
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“You have to go,” I demanded, turning away from the door in horror.
“(Y/N),” Kenobi pleaded.
“He wants me Obi-Wan, we don’t have a choice,” I reasoned. “You know he will continue to harm those people until I come out from hiding.”
“He’s going to try and take you.”
“And I’ll try and throw him off my trail, at least one of us needs to escape.”
“I understand,” he said, after a moment of silence.  “Goodbye, (Y/N).”
“May the force me with you Obi-Wan,” I nodded to him, saying the old phrase intentionally.
“You as well.”
I watched him enter the secret tunnels in the back of the workshop before it slid shut, and audibly sighed. I knew it was hopeless, it wasn’t possible to ever escape him. I couldn’t, not with how well he knew me. A part of me didn’t even agree with Kenobi, as he still believed in the Jedi and being heroes. I had changed, and their morals didn’t resonate with me any longer, not since the fall.
My body shook, as I ran as hard as I could once opening the door. It was loud on purpose, everyone standing in the little street seeing me and yelping in surprise. I saw the inquisitorious point in my direction, calling out my action for their lord. I could feel it, even though I couldn’t see his face beneath the mask. I could feel that he was looking at me, the two of us making eye contact for the first time in a year. He was massive, even taller than before and stronger than ever, right on my tail as I fled. I was quick, my legs carrying me into the maze of shipping crates and dirt from afar. I should have been quieter, but I knew that wouldn’t do much. He could track me in other ways, like the force.
His cold presence clung to my shoulders as I ran between the mounts that acted like walls. I needed to throw him off, but I knew it was impossible. He was too intelligent, too quick. His steps were twice as much as my own, the force connection that bound us inseverable. My heartbeat picked up, so much so I could hear it as if it were right in my ear. My hands were trembling lightly from the thrill of fleeing.
“There is no escape,” his modulated voice said, but I couldn’t tell where it came from.
“I’ll never join you,” I whispered.
The Sith was nowhere to been seen. I backed up, returning to my original pace and attempting to find him again in the pitch black, even though his suit was the same color. He hadn’t ignited his saber yet, although it didn’t make much of a difference, since I hadn’t ignited mine in months. In truth, I hadn’t touched a thing related to the Jedi in a year. All of it, including the force, I severed myself from, up until he started hunting me down.
He invaded my dreams, doing everything in his power to get to me. When he came, it wasn’t painful, it felt amazing, too good; feelings I only experienced in his presence. He tried to pleasure me, sooth me and coax me into joining him, promising to save me from Kenobi. He abused our connection from our time as Jedi’s, seeping into my conscious and speaking to my thoughts, ghosting my body with his invisible touch. Every time I thought of him, I thought of the past. I told myself I didn’t love him, but we both knew it was a lie.
“Really?”
I knocked into something hard, strong hands coming around my upper arms. They kept me in place with ease, essentially locking me in my tracks. I looked up and swallowed, knowing I was done for.
“Vader,” my breath was short. I wouldn't call him Anakin.
“My dear,” he said.
“I am not your dear,” I tried to back up, but it was no use. My chest tightened, feeling his thumb rub my skin comfortingly.
“Yet you are weakening in my hold,” he spoke sweetly, opposite of his reputation. If anyone else rejected him, they would be dead, neck snapped, I knew that.
“You’re a liar,” I said unfearingly.
“You are the only one lying here, (Y/N),” Vader replied. “Don’t deny me any further.”
His voice lit a fire across my entire body, smooth yet so deep I could have lost it right then and there. It took everything to keep my composure, a fake stubbornness still trying to hold up across my face. I wanted so badly to do a million different things. A part of me thought to leave, to escape and flee once again. But another part of me wanted to follow him, leave Kenobi behind, and go into the depths of hell.
“I will never join you, Sith,” I used his new title as an insult. “Now let go of me.”
“Your thoughts betray you, my love,” Vader said. "I feel your conflict."
“I hate you.”
“Hate is not an attribute of a Jedi, or you,” he entertained. “You are too caring to hate.”
He was right, always right, and knew me far too well. I sighed aloud, as he still held me and I could just feel the victorious expression through his mask.
“I married Anakin Skywalker, not you.”
“Anakin Skywalker still remains, but only for your pleasure,” he rebutted. “I am here, waiting for you, my dear. You and I can overthrow the emperor, become the galaxies newest destined rulers. Leave Kenobi and set yourself free, do what we both know you long to. We are mean't to be together.”  
I looked into his helm, hoping that I might see his eyes through the blacked-out visors. My lips parted just slightly, breathing hitched as my hands rested on the Sith’s chest. You could see it, Vader's muscles breaching the clothes he wore. The armor fitted his broad shoulders perfectly, hands so skilled and trusted. My head dipped, succumbing to what I truly thought.
“I’m supposed to kill you, to try and run away.”
“I know,” he leaned forward, his mask hovering over my head.
“I told myself I wasn’t going to do this,” I my hands turned into fists, pounding on his chest in frustration.
“But you don’t agree with Kenobi,” he finished.
“I don't."
“So, join me, my dear,” Vader coaxed, placing a leather glove on my jaw to tilt my head upward.
I breathed deeply, my pupils slowly dilating while taking him in.
“Take the mask off."
Surprisingly, the Sith didn’t argue. He let go of me and slipped his thumb around the rim of the helm, like he needed to turn something off. A hissing sound followed, confirming my suspicions, and he lifted it above his head carefully, dropping it onto the ground. I watched it fall, clinking on the ground as if he didn’t care for it. My eyes slowly trailed back up, seeing his true appearance in what felt like forever.
His hair was the same length, wavy and brown, yet in the face he had grown so much. His jawline was even more developed, the scar still remaining on the right brow. The most prominent feature was his eyes, gold with red rimming the irises. His gaze was more alluring than before, a look I easily got flustered from. He grinned at me checking him out and let out a sexy and low laugh.
“Still have the same effect, don’t I?” Vader asked, his actual voice being used.
“Even better,” the words formed before I could think.
His robotic arm curled around the back of my head, the two of us enclosed on the space between. I slid my arms between his neck, kissing him deeply without hesitation. It felt like a war between hell and heaven, holding my breath for as long as possible while taking the Sith in. The further we went, the worse it got, to where I wrapped my legs around his lower waist and he held onto my ass. We would take short breaths touching each other as much as possible during it, enjoying as much as we could, the both of us starved from one another.
It was no surprise Vader got the upper hand, trailing his lips over to my cheek and down to my neck. He carried me over to a tower of crates, one sitting alone in front of the stack, sitting me down on it gently. I leaned back as if it was a wall, and sounds slipped from my mouth naturally. They were rare to come by, not having heard them in months, my husband well aware. I felt Vader smile as he got onto the crate as well and trailed his hand up my thigh to my top. He was straddling me, making me feel like I was weak, and it was to die for.
More whimpers left my lips, and I knew what he wanted. The Sith fiddled with the zipper of my jacket, remaining eye contact with me while doing so. I could feel his hot breath against my skin, forcing me to shudder as he started to take my clothing off. I wanted him so badly, feeling his cod piece harden against my thigh, but we both sensed something nearby. The two of us froze, silent as his cloak shielded me from anyone’s line of sight.
“Obi-wan is near,” I whispered.
“He has come back to try to take you away from me,” Vader said, his hands now placed on both sides so that I was caged in. It was protective, the look in his eyes possessive.
“We must go, you have to have a ship nearby,” I told him.
“I do, follow me,” he nodded.
I slid off the crate, slightly upset we had been interrupted, but there wasn’t time to think about it. Obi-wan would never forgive me if he saw this, and I preferred that I remained on good terms with him. Vader called for his helmet with the force, it quickly suctioning to his hand and then being placed on his head. I kept up with him, weaving through the maze of construction until we got closer to the town. It seemed that most of the Imperial forces had been ordered to leave, Vader having called them off unsurprisingly.
The people that once lingered around were all inside, sleeping away in fear from what happened. Behind all of the buildings was a ship, the shadow of it coming into view from around the corner. It was the infamous Tie-Fighter the Sith always flew in, extremely well developed and luxurious. He lifted up the hatch with a wave of two fingers, offering a hand politely to help me up onto the top. It was only when he got in first and sat down that I realized where this was going.
The ship was small, meant to be a one seater and easy to maneuver. Vader took off his helmet once more before shooting me a suggestive look and patting the inside of his leg. It created little space for me to sit in his lap, but I didn't think much of it, all I knew was that what had stopped before was about to resume.
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LMK what you all thought about this. I honestly can't decide which Vader I like more so this was very fun to write
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mako-neexu · 1 month
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everyone is slowly recovering from the angst now so its silly time and my favorite fanarts/posts that are now emerging from twitter is dantes being called "papamon"/"Idmon" www and considering how RICH he is he literally just gave his accomplice a really nice house bc, although he knows how to budget essentialls, his concept of money is near zero so we see in some fanarts that he spoiled guda with having them live in one of the most special wards in tokyo and the "modest" house has every player in outrage bc "wdyMEAN modest??" and then there are posts out there where guda doesnt realize theyre a RICH KID because "papamon" has everything they have are custom-made and SUPER EXPENSIVE LMAOO
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adultish-momma · 2 years
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Contract Law
In which Azul finds out that Yuu passed their law class for good reason.
Warnings: Book 3 spoilers, if we still warn for that.
AN: So out of the three mermen, Azul decided to intermittently participate. Honestly, this monster is fairly self-indulgent, I'm that person who always reads every contract I come across, and I literally screamed when Azul said Yuu would have to belong to him. So enjoy an educated Yuu.
Oh! Before I forget: @dandelionwhisp Enjoy my metaphorical feeding of octopus to 1(one) Azul Ashengrotto.
"I'm not signing this"
Azul Ashengrotto physically stutters when the Prefect pushes away his contract. Everyone in the room seems to have their own reaction to the bold declaration from the magic-less student. The Leech twins (they haven't quite figured out how to distinguish between the two just yet) displayed amusement if one's eerie giggles and the other's mocking chuckles were anything to go by. Jack, who bless his heart, only seemed to get stiffer at the sudden turn in atmosphere. And Grim, well...
"NYAAAA?!?! What do you mean you aren't signing the contract Prefect?!" The monster has settled on just beating on Yuu's legs. No claws, yet. "Henchhuman you can't just abandon the Great Grim to life as a dish rag!"
"I must say", Azul's voice has risen about Grim's yowls of betrayal. "You have surprised me. For someone so adamant about their desire to release their friends from my contracts, you give up on them incredibly quickly." He then turns to the cat look-alike crying at the Prefect's feet. "I do feel sorry for you, just a poor soul having to rely on a useless and cowardly housewarden."
"Oh, so you're backing out of the deal Ashengrotto?" At this point, for their safety, Yuu has lifted Grim by the scruff, holding the thrashing and cursing ball of furious fluff far away from the squishy parts of their body. Since the beginning of the negotiations, the Prefect has had a face of stone. The only change has been an upward tick of their eyebrows at Azul's assumption.
"Am I backing out of the deal?" The cracks in the housewarden's mask are starting to show, his steady voice making way for the indignation to shine through. "I'm not the one refusing to sign a contract. All the terms we have already verbally agreed on are now just on paper, and you are the one refusing to hold yourself accountable by signing the scroll."
"I never said I wouldn't sign a contract. I said I wouldn't sign this contract. Because these are not the terms we agreed on." They pull the contract back towards themselves, skimming intently. They drag one finger carefully down the scroll while blindly reaching for the discarded pen. They acknowledge the more put-together twin (Jade?) when he hums to gain their attention, pen held aloft in his open palm. A seemingly innocent gesture, but Yuu has figured out by now that this particular trio of Octavinelle students is exceptionally good at twisting an act of supplication into a threat.
Yuu isn't too worried about it though. They might not remember personal details, but the feeling of power that the negotiations and the business meeting has flushing through their system assures them that this is familiar territory.
"We agreed that should I fail to win our bet, you would earn the property rights to Ramshakle dorm. As you have just stated aloud, you plan to rope me, and assumedly the ghosts of Ramshakcle as well seeing as they also reside on the property, into your winnings should I lose. And you have intentionally left the wording of the contract vague so you could accomplish that."
Yuu takes a moment more to continue marking up a certain paragraph of the contract.
"... But wouldn't he be able to do that no matter how he worded it?" Jack inquires, rubbing his neck sheepishly at his lack of understanding. Grim, who had considerably calmed down while sitting in the beastman's lap, also considered his Prefect's words. "He'd own Ramshackle dorm and we're Ramshackle students so he would essentially become the new housewarden, right?" Grim finally asked, turning to the only human he truly trusted.
Ah, to be removed from the intricacies of politics and loopholes and double meanings.
"No, I only agreed to give him the rights to the property. Owning the rights to someone's property does not mean you would own that person. They're two completely separate things in the eyes of the law. Something Azul is well aware of."
"Honestly Prefect," Azul finally snapped, pushing his glasses up his nose to hide the irritation building in his eyes. "You're making a mountain out of a molehill." He waved his hand in the direction of the contract, leaning back against his desk in a clearly fake show of nonchalance. "If you intend to go through with the deal, then sign the contract. I'm only offering this opportunity once."
"I'll gladly sign the contract. Once you rewrite it."
Yuu shoved the newly annotated contract back into Azul's hands. He briefly glanced down, just enough to skim their notes, before snapping his eyes back up to meet the Prefect's steady stare. Before, their eyes had been steely and cold, unforgiving under his scrutiny. Now, he could see something warming the ice of their glare.
"Yuu I am a very busy man. The lounge is still open and I must be making my rounds soon. I do not have the time and I am very quickly losing the patience to attend to your-"
"A shame really." The Prefect broke their impromptu staring contest first, turning to gather their things. "Oh well, I'll tell Crowley that I tried. Come on Jack. Grim, I'll get all the soap out of your fur when you return home."
"So that's it," Azul called, the frustration and irritation and downright offense cracking his voice. "You're just going to wa-"
The Ramshackle Prefect whipped around in the doorway to Azul's extravagant office. One hand gripped the doorjamb in an attempt to curb and contain their shaking rage. The other hand moved their flyaway hair out of their face so everyone in the room could see the unbridled anger in their eyes. Eyes that had once been as cold as a frozen sea now swirled like a tropical storm, the ice in their eyes melted by the warmth of their offense.
"If you were hoping to make a deal with a naive and gullible idiot Azul Ashengrotto, I am not your intended audience. I know for a fact that it would take you less than a snap of your fingers to have your golden contract rewrite itself. I will not sit here and let you bully and gaslight me into signing a legally binding contract that is so obviously stacked against me. I can afford to walk out of this room with no deal made. The question left to be answered, is can you afford for me to?"
Azul Ashengrotto was, at the end of the day, desperate. At the end of the day, Azul was the person in this meeting who wanted something. And while they might not actively point it out, Yuu was well aware of the upper hand that provided them in these negotiations. So they showed no visible reaction to the snapping of the Octavinelle's housewarden's fingers, nor Floyd's giggles, nor Jade's hum of amusement as he once again held out a pen to Yuu. They instead reviewed the contract (mentally making a packing list when they noted the new wording surrounding the collateral clause), and finally, finally signed their name on the dotted line.
The temperature in the room had considerably chilled, the tension between the two housewarderns more than likely to blame. While the Ramshackle Prefect and Jack packed up their belongings, the sophomore considered his newest "client'. Azul was frustrated and annoyed with the gall of this, this otherwordly nobody to put up a fight about the details of his contract. Not to mention that they were spot on with their spotting of his loophole, and he's mourning the excellent free labor the prefect would've provided to his new location.
Yuu on the other hand was downright offended at how stupid the lilac-haired man thought them to be. They could also feel the pressure to come through starting to build. While their own servitude was no longer on the table, Yuu was justifiably worried about losing the place they've made into a home. They've spent months of time and resources on turning the derelict "fixer-upper" into a place they were proud to call their home. And maybe, and Yuu would deny this if asked, but just maybe they were sick and tired of how much everybody underestimates them.
It's that small, damaged bit of pride that stops Yuu at the doorway once again to say one last thing.
"I aced each and every one of the contract law classes I've ever taken. Try to swindle me again Ashengrotto, I dare you"
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robo-milky · 1 year
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[MORE INFO]
Nicknames:
Brittle Star (Floyd) | Monsieur Fontaine (Rook) | Mr. Leikata/Leikata-sensei (Idia) | Lei (Neige)
Bio:
Leikata is an expressive boy who’s always honest to himself. Whenever he feels happy, sad, or angry, his body’s natural reaction is to tear up. As a result, his peers mistook him for an irrational crybaby. Contrary to this, Leikata is someone who can speak clearly and calmly in tears. Additionally, he’s gained a reputation for being a “pretty cryer”. This does not make Leikata ashamed, he instead embraces it as a natural side of him. Leikata believes it’s best to let loose and go with the flow, than bottling everything up. Moreover, Leikata’s heart bleeds as much as he cries. Leikata is not just sensitive to his feelings, but others’ as well. If he feels like he did something wrong, he will gladly admit and bring attention to it, even if the other party can’t care less. This is also the reason Leikata can’t lie, the guilt would have eaten him alive.
Core values -> Honesty + Peace
Background:
Leikata’s father is a renowned artist in Twisted Wonderland, known for his craftsmanship of using purely paper to make masterpieces. As a result, Leikata followed his father’s footsteps and became somewhat of an apprentice, working under him for exhibitions and galleries. At the age of 12, Leikata discovered his own UM, “Paper Plans”, and started to surpass his father when it came to crafts, via magic. Out of respect for his father’s value of traditional crafts, Leikata branched off to do his own shows and viewings, by joining the scenes of paper theatres and stop-motion. His personal works are niche among the art community, but he’s been getting more attention through collaborations with others.
Notable Thoughts: Leikata’s
“Silver’s the best! He is my first friend in Night Raven College. …Why? Because he was the only student who wasn’t intimidating.”
“Kalim is a surprisingly good person to vent to, if you ever need it. He always knew how to pick me right up, and sometimes he’d even cry with me.”
“Vil is truly the fairest of them all! Well… maybe not when he’s chewing me out for flunking potionology, haha…”
“When Rook is not keeping an eye on Epel, it becomes my job to keep an eye on him. I’ve tried so hard to teach him how to differentiate between the dessert spoons, but he still doesn’t get it…”
“Lilia’s wears a sun-blocking visor when he has P.E.; I wonder if I should get that too.”
Notable Thoughts: Others’
“I thought I had offended Master Leikata when I talked to him the other day, but apparently his eyes are sensitive to sunlight. That makes me wonder how much of his tears are real…” - Cloche
“Leikata brings such life and energy to the Board Game Club, even going so far as to make customized game pieces for us, and animating them in front of our eyes. He’s so creative, turning chips into something so avant-garde. …Surely, they must be worth quite a lot under his name.” - Azul
“I don’t get why Vil wants me to be like Leikata so bad… All that pansy does is cry.” - Epel
“I can’t believe Azul invited Mr. Leikata— THE Leikata who was part of the stop motion for one of the biggest current blockbuster anime OPs of all time, to the BG club—! What was he thinking?!” - Idia
“I wonder how Lei how is doing, after he animated the credits of my last film. I was hoping we could catch up some time, after he moved.” - Neige
Extras/Trivia:
- Light magic user
- Leikata’s hair used to be long and symmetrical, until Rook burned it part of it by accident during a science lab.
- Leikata’s favourite food, stargazy pie, is banned from the Pomefiore dining hall for life.
- Pomefiore is generally very protective and coddling of Leikata. Not necessarily because they’re scared of him getting hurt, but because of the potential danger that is his UM.
- One of Leikata’s past times in Pomefiore is doing puppet shows in the lounge. Students of other dorms drop by sometimes to watch.
- Leikata’s anime/manga/gaming collabs are essentially the TWST equivalent of JJBA x Gucci/Louvre
Full Sprite:
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rosekasa · 11 months
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Hello! I am a beginner artist and I love ur art!! Super pretty and the colors are very tasty. Do you have some tips? I'd love to see your art process!
HELLO ANON!! first of all i am very honoured that u would ask me this because 90% of the time i feel like i have no idea what i am doing and like im still a beginner artist myself DSDSJDF. i would love to share some stuff i learnt and some stuff about my process (regardless of how messy it is sdfhsj)
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(final piece)
here's an old example of my process i found! while the steps sometimes look different for other pieces, i feel like this is a good demonstration of how the basic structure looks.
1. the sketch - this is where i'm mainly figuring out how i want the piece to look. i was redrawing a screenshot for this piece so it looks a LOT neater than what a lot of my other sketches look like, for example, here's the process of me figuring out my recent drawing of haise:
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(final piece)
in the first two steps, i was mainly working with showing myself what the piece was going to be. the last one was where i used references/technical knowledge to try and show whoever will be looking at it what the piece was
2. cleaning up the sketch + base colours. these two usually occur simultaneously because i will get bored cleaning up the sketch midway through and want to start adding colour LMAO. on a more practical note, sometimes putting down the base colours and having a better idea of what the finished product will look like might make it easier to refine things.
a note: cleaning up for me doesn't mean doing lineart. it mostly means erasing any overly messy lines on the sketch and redrawing small parts to make it look tidier where needed. i often leave it 'messy' at this stage, too. like here:
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(final piece)
3. light/shadow. this is my FAVOURITE part because it's where the piece starts pulling together. the method i used in the current piece was putting a multiply layer over the colours folder and filling in where light would be obstructed. after that, i used a luminosity layer to put in some bright sunlight. marc brunet has a great way of explaining it by advising to pretend that the light is the camera and you're behind the lens. this is such a good way to block in average light/shadow values! sometimes this looks a bit crazy because everything is still so messy but that is why we have...
4. rendering. this is where i fit all the remaining pieces of the puzzle together. i'll refine the colours a bit more -- e.g. colouring in the eyes, -- and fiddle a bit with the shadows to add some more variation to the hues/value. this is where i think a lot about light and shadow theory and try and make it look more realistic. marco bucci saved my LIFE with his videos about ambient occlusion and ambient light (part 1 / part 2) -- essentially, what i keep in mind the most is that if a plane in shadow is facing the sky (or is open to any other form of light that isn't the direct light source) it will contain ambient light. it is SUCH a game changer when you add it to your pieces, trust me, even if youre lazy about it. if needed i'll pull up some references to make everything look good!
5. rendering... part 2? honestly this step kind of blends with the last one as i tend to do it simultaneously. i basically clean up all the messy lines from before by painting over them! with the majority of the colours i need put down, i can just eyedrop them and paint over anything that's needed. this also comes in with the light/shadow, where, if i need a more subtle hue for either/or, i will eyedrop it and brush it in.
some further notes:
i very rarely use references during the first stages of my sketch. i think it tends to look quite stiff and unnatural if i rely too hard on the. and i personally prefer the creative room when the idea is still being conceived. references come in when i can look at what i have down on the canvas and have a fairly decent idea of what i want, including pose, composition, etc. it's essentially a first draft to guide me to where i want to go with the piece. it's when i'm done with this that i bring out references, and even then, they don't necessarily have to be the exact pose -- i'll usually get a couple of pics which show what i need to double check and keep them up as a guide. by the end of the 'sketch', i usually have a basic construction of what i need to continue, even if it's messy.
i use very soft brushes when putting down colour because it allows for more hue variation. like i said, i enjoy eyedropping and brushing in colours afterwards, so this really helps!
layer modes are ur friend! i try not to rely on them too hard during rendering because i like the freedom of painting over but they're very useful when you're blocking in your initial colours
sometimes, when i feel like i want to try something new with my art, i'll keep pieces that inspire me up in front of me. i have two of sui ishida's art books and sometimes i'll just flick to a page that oils the Art Gears in my brain and keep it open while i draw. i don't necessarily reference it, but i like having it there so i can glance over every once in a while. i don't usually make a conscious choice where i'm like "ok i want to render skin the way he does" but it's more like. my brain knows what it likes in his art and it'll try and push that part of my art in a similar direction.
honestly the best advice i have is that art is very much based on vibes. everytime i've tried to think too much about it, to do things 'correctly', to rigidly stick to art theory, my art has not come out nicely. i think the technical parts of art are important to know and understand but i also think it's important to let your knowledge come through naturally when it is needed instead of pressuring yourself to do things 'right'. tbh you probably already know that but it's something i forget a lot so maybe it serves as a helpful reminder?? sedsfhsl
ANYWAY SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG! i hope i covered what you needed and if you need anything else/want me to expand on anything feel free to drop me another ask ! <3
make sure to look after yourself and trust yourself and ENJOY!!! art is about having fun!
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