#especially since they're kind of alone in this
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5 hours apart
[spencer reid x reader]
summary: “I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts.” “I don't want you to miss me. It's tearing me apart.” from this prompt list.
pairing: spencer reid x svu!detective!f!reader
w.c: 3.7K
warnings/content: long distance relationship; crying; sadness; discussions of a case related to kidnapping (brief); migraine; this o.s approaches healthy siblings dynamic and some childhood trauma, be aware; discussions about marriage; spencer does not beat the pipe cleaner allegations.
A/N: decided to do a crossover one shot between criminal minds and law and order: svu (my newest obsession)because I love both shows (and nick amaro has older brother vibes) and it fit pretty well. there's like a few Spanish terms that I used and please consider that I did Spanish in high school and had a few classes afterwards, forgive me if I made some misspellings.
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masterpost
cm masterlist
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There are two missed calls on your phonescreen when you turn it on. The heavy load of paperwork you needed to finish plus the migraine that did not leave you alone forced you to turn your phone off during the daytime so you could concentrate on working. Amanda and Fin telling you to go home wasn't as effective as your boss ordering the exact same thing upon seeing your tired state. Thankfully, by the time he did that, you had already finished everything and you happily obliged.
The keychain clinking against the doorknob makes you drop your shoulders in relief. You aren't home but it's close enough. It's been a few months since you have stepped into your brother's place, but it's the same as you remember. Grey couch, the spotless kitchen island that you can see as soon as you walk in, the innumerous pictures of your brother and your niece scattered around the walls.
You throw your dark brown blazer on the loveseat across the room and sit on the couch unceremoniously, pressing play on the latest voice message.
“Hey... It's me. I called you before and it went straight to voicemail, I... I forgot to say something.” You snort, hair falling off of your ponytail as you let it loose down your shoulders. Never have you ever seen your boyfriend forget something. “I'm sorry I couldn't make it. I know I promised and I really wanted to go but the case, it was a serious one, they needed me.” The guilt in his voice breaks a part of you inside. “I-I'm sorry I let you down.” There's a beat, some voices in the background that you can't make out who it is because they're too far away. “I love you and I'll make it up to you, okay? Call me when you can, please.” And the message ends.
You only notice you start crying when a sob echoes through the room and the sound comes from you.
You were never mad at him. Deep down, you expected him to cancel on you because of a case, you knew you would if you were needed. Both if you are not the kind of people who let your people hanging, especially if the reason is work. And that's fine, when you started dating Spencer, that was the first thing you understood, as he did.
Being far away from him is what kills you. You manage to work long-distance. He visits you on his (rare) day-offs, you escape for a few days to Virginia. It works. It's how you do. But there are moments in which you just need him close and it's not like you can drive over to his apartment right away. 5 hours apart does that to a couple. It's not unbearable, but it's painful.
You miss him.
So you dial the number you know by heart, sniffling quietly on your bubble of loneliness in the empty apartment.
You don't know where he is, if he's home, if he's in a completely different timezone. You don't care.
It rings twice before his voice fills up the call. “Hi—Hey, angel.” He sounds frantic. You smile thinking he must have been waiting for your call.
“Hey, Spence,” you respond, folding your knees on the couch. “Are you home? I didn't text first to see if it was a good time to talk, sorry.”
“It's always a good time to talk to you.” He says without hesitantion. “I'm on the motel, packing.”
“Oh, so did the case end okay?”
You can feel the relief through his exhale. “Yes, we found the boy on time. He's finally back with his parents. Home.”
Your mouth twitches, “that's good.” And you make sure to add as you always do, “you saved a life today, I'm proud of you.”
His soft awkward chuckle causes a tearful grin out of you. You can practically see him blushing.
“Thank you. It was... It's a good feeling.”
“Are you happy?”
“Not really.”
You brows furrow slightly. “Why? Did something happen?”
“I miss you,” he says. “I am happy that we saved someone today, of course but... You know, the first person I wanted to tell it to was you. I just— I miss you. So much it hurts.”
You close your eyes as the tears slip one by one down your cheeks, you felt their salty taste. Your chest clenching as you stay silent for what feels like several minutes until Spencer's concerned tone breaks the silence.
“Angel?”
“Please don't miss me. It's tearing me apart.” Your request doesn't quite make sense but you don't have time to think it through before you say it. It just what comes out of your heart.
“Please, don't cry.”
You let out a tearful laugh, attempting to dry your tears foolishly.
“I'm always missing you, sweetheart. I'm sorry but that's inevitable.” He adds, sadly.
“It hurts so fucking much.”
Spencer clears his throat and you know he's either refraining from crying himself or trying to mask it.
“I know. I'm sorry.” He pauses. “I wish I was there.”
You shake your head even though he can't see it. “'s not your fault. It's your job, you can't help it.”
"I hate it that you're crying and I'm not there to comfort you."
"I'm fine," you whisper, sniffling. "Don't worry about me. Today was just... A shitty day, really."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
You hum, fiddling with the soft fabric of the light green hand-knit throw blanket your brother always left on his couch. "Migraine." It's what you say and all he needs to know to wince in the other side of the line.
"Did you take something for it?" Spencer is aware of your frequent migraines and how much they bother you.
"Yeah, it's okay now." You reply even though there's a little painful pang in the back of your back right now.
"Maybe you should try to sleep a little. Did you know that sleeping seven hours every night impacts on your focus, body weight and immune system? Actually, adults aged from sixteen to sixty years should all get at least seven hours sleep every night, but that's almost never happens because of people's usual hectic work schedules-" He sucks in a breathe upon noticing he's rambling non-stop. You laugh and suddenly the harsh grip on your heart diminishes a little. His voice appeasing the momentary heartache you're going through.
"Says you. Who never sleeps, anyway. And work on caffeine 24/7."
"Hey," his tone has a tinge of amusement but he pretends to be offended. "I sleep."
"You do when I'm there. Cause I force you."
"Oh, you're so cruel to me, angel."
Your lips widen into a smirk. "That I am."
The conversation carries on for a while, until you figure out which time it is where he is and immediately orders him to go to sleep because he has an early flight to catch in the morning. He's reluctant, but he eventually lets it go because you need to sleep too and you will talk in the next day again.
Before he hangs up, he asks, the first time he hesitates in the call. "Uh, does- does your brother hate me?"
Your brain takes a few seconds to grasp what he's implying, until you remember what was supposed to happen this weekend. Spencer would come over to your place in New York to meet your brother.
You bite your lip, straightening your legs out on the ouch. "Yeah, about that..."
"He does, doesn't he? I don't blame him, I did screw up-"
"Wait, baby, that's not it. I... I actually didn't tell him." A pause, you curse under your breath. Now he must thing you didn't want him to come. "Spence?"
"Did I pressure to do something you didn't want? I should have asked you if you wanted meet to meet him, right? I think I kind of invited myself over and-"
"Stop." You cut him off. "No, Spencer. You didn't pressure me into anything. I want you two to meet, of course I do. You're one of the most important people to me, but I really forgot. I'm not making up an excuse."
"Alright, yeah. Okay." He says and you hear a door closing and wood creaking. He must be sitting on the bed.
"I love you." You receive the mental image of the scrunch of his nose and the smile he can't help whenever you drop the L bomb out of nowhere. "And you know he doesn't have to approve anything, right? Nick has no say in who I date or not."
"But he's your brother, he's important to you and I would meet him someday anyway because- I, well." Your body shakes with laughter and the phone almost drops from your hand.
"What, are you proposing now, genius? Through the phone, really?"
"Don't make fun of me." Spencer warns playfully.
You take a few seconds to process that he doesn't deny it. You said it as a joke but he didn't even deny it that he thinks about marrying you. God, your chest could combust.
"You think about it?" You ask, shifting your position to bring your knees to your chest. "Us? Someday?"
"You mean getting married to you? Yes. I do. We haven't discussed it yet, but... Yes, I do think about it."
"Mhm."
"Has it ever... crossed your mind?" He's reluctant, shy to ask even. You find it cute as everything Spencer Reid does. Marriage is something that never really crossed your mind, to be honest. You think is nice when people get married and show their love to their loved ones, but your parents' relationship carved a fear deep within your chest and your entire perception of love had to be relearned through the years they separated. One thing that you learned is that no person and no relationship is the same. It's not because your father broke your trust and destroyed a part of your and your brother's childhood that your future partners will do the same. It is easier said than done, but you're coming around to the idea.
"Not before you." You admit quietly.
"Oh."
“Yeah.” You ponder out loud. “It scares me a bit, that I consider spending the rest of my life by your side. Doesn't it scare you?”
“It does,” he replies. “But the idea is nice to think about.”
You smile, letting out a soft breath. “Yeah, it is nice.”
A male voice calls out for him in his end and you know he has to go. You had already taken up much of his time, anyway.
“They want to go to a bar nearby to celebrate.” Spencer explains to you, not sounding too thrilled about the idea.
You snicker, “go have fun, genius. You deserve it. Try to enjoy it even if this is not your usual idea for fun. I love you.”
“I love you more.” Spencer says and laughs at your groan of protest on the other side.
“We're not going to be one of those couples who never hang up because you love me more or no, I love you more, Spencer.”
“I just like to mess with you.” He admits with an edge of amusement to his tone. And damn you miss the smirk you know he's making right now.
“Yeah, I know. Now go, have fun. And have a safe flight tomorrow, text me when you land?”
“Of course, angel. Try to sleep a bit, you need the rest.”
You smile. “Sure. Bye, Spence.”
“Bye, angel.”
An hour or two goes by since your phone call with your boyfriend and manage to cook some dinner and then throw yourself back on the couch while a random show is played on TV. You end up falling asleep and wake up upon hearing the jiggling keys against the door of your brother's apartment, rubbing your eyes in your disoriented sleepy state. Checking your phone, the screen says 11p.m.
Nick stops midway from his way to the couch, where he was probably about to throw himself at. From his tired eyes and hunched over stance, you are able to tell how exhausted he is. “Why are you always here?” Nick throws himself on the floor instead, his head falling against your knees. The tone he used would make you slap him right behind his ear, if you weren't still with your mind in that phone call and a million miles away from New York. “I thought you rented an apartment. Or is it that you just miss me?”
“I don't miss you.” You mumble, voice muffled by the soft fabric of the blanket covering half of your face. “I see you every day, idiot. How can I miss you.”
Nick raises an arm towards your calf and you immediately kick his hand away before it can get to your feet. He chuckles, fluttering his eyes open for the first time since he got home. He glances up at you, who's glaring at him. His smile falls.
“What's wrong?”
You shrug, pulling your knees up to your chest and turning your head towards the TV. You weren't paying attention since the show started, you had no idea what is going on. “I cooked dinner. Left you a plate on the microwave. Go eat, I bet you didn't have a proper meal. You never do.”
“That's not true—”
“Eating burritos isn't a proper meal, Nick.” You groan as he tries to take another look at your face. “Stop it. I'm fine.”
“Yeah, I don't buy it. What happened?” If there's one thing your brother is, that thing is anxious. Nick is a worrier. And he's completely paranoid about knowing what's going on to find a solution before the time runs out. Even if there is no time to run out. He gently tips your chin up, frowning. “Why have you been cryin’?”
You turn your face away from his reach, sitting up on the couch. You take a moment to form your answer and he's anxiously waiting for it, coffee-brown eyes inspecting your matching ones.
You decide to go simple, but it's also the truth. “'s not a good day, that's all.”
He blinks and then the concern opens some space for understanding in his expression. And just like that, he figures out what's been making you upset. You don't doubt that he really knows, since your brother and you always understand each other with a look.
“D'you wanna talk about it?” His usual sarcastic tone gives place to a softer one. The one he uses in moments where his little sister needs her older brother.
You shrug, letting out a sigh before resting your head against the couch, eyes studying the ceiling. “It's nothing, I just... I miss Virginia, that's all.”
Nick hums, nodding. “You mean you miss the skinny kid from the FBI.”
A laugh bubbles out of you unexpectedly, you playfully shove his shoulder as he offers you an unimpressed look.
“Stop being mean to him.”
“Me?” Nick pulls himself up to the sofa, groaning when his joints complain as he stands up. “'m not being mean to anybody.”
“Okay, grandpa.”
“Hey,” he throws a pillow at you, narrowing his eyes threateningly. “you don't get to be mean to me.” You roll your eyes. There he goes playing the older card that just makes him look exactly like an elderly. “Why don't you take a few days off? I can't remember the last time you did that.” Before you can respond to that, he frowns, turning to you as if he just had thought of something. “Or why doesn't the skinny kid come and visit you? It's not that hard.”
“He was gonna to that this weekend.” His raised eyebrow makes you sigh and shake your head. “He had a case last minute, so he couldn't.”
He pauses, munching on his cheek. You question his thoughtful expression.
“What? No jokes now?”
“It's serious then? You and him.”
You blink at him, puzzled by the question. It wasn't what you expected. “W—yes. Why would you ask that?” He had walked up to the kitchen to grab a bite of whatever you had made him and you followed right behind.
“Nothin’,” he says, turning the microwave on and stepping towards the fridge to grab something to drink. “I just never saw you in a serious relationship.”
You pause.
Okay, you had a few flings in your life, it's not like your love life is messy, it is actually pretty simple. You and the people you've previously have relationships (or situationships) enjoyed having fun. You weren't looking for anything serious and when you were... well, your job got in the way. Until Spencer Reid. He's the unexpected occurrence that showed up during a local case to investigate a series of murders in the city of New York and both of your teams worked together. If someone told you before that you would get attached so quickly to someone and consider driving five hours just because you missed them then you would have laughed in their face.
Your brother might actually have a point. He had never seen you in a serious commitment before, he has, however, had the opportunity to try and scare off some of your partners — the ones he accidentally met, at least.
“I don't need to disclosure every aspect of my love life to you, Nicholas.”
You crossed your arms as the corner of his lips lift in a knowing smile. “Stand down, tiger. I just made an observation, no need to get defensive.”
“I'm not.” You say, shifting on your feet, suddenly self-conscious with the whole conversation. It's difficult to talk about someone so important to you to another someone that's important to you. You've never share much about your personal life and inner struggles with anybody, and that has everything to do with the man you call “father” in the biological sense. But Spencer managed to push through these walls and he didn't demeaned you because of your trauma, neither did he treated you as if you were made out of glass, that you could shatter at any given second. He understood you and you understood him, which is why love has always been within your reach in your relationship. It was only a matter of time.
“He's important to you, isn't he?” The microwave beeped but none of you move.
“Yes.” You utter, playing with the ring on your index finger. “I know we don't— we don't talk about these stuff...”
“We can if you want to—”
“No, it's not— That's not it. I mean. You're my brother and we have a good communication but I never felt the need to formally introduce anyone to you because you're family, Nick. You're my only family,” you finally look at him. “If it ever got to the point, one day, where it was worth it for me to do that, then I would. I just thought that I wasn't made for love, you know?”
You see him rushing to disagree with you and probably say you can't think like this and that is not true, so you intervene before, smiling.
“But I know that that is not true, alright? Porque le quiero y sé que él también.” His eyes soften at your claim and you feel like crying again because you miss Spencer and you wish he's there with you. “So yeah, it is serious. And the reason he was going to come visit me was to meet you properly.”
“What?”
“Yes. That was my reaction too.” A fond smile takes over your mouth. “He insisted he wanted to meet you because he knows how important you are to me.”
“Oh.” He is officially caught off guard and it makes you chuckle. That is a rare image you're seeing in front of you. No one catches Nick Amaro off guard. One point to Spencer, I guess. “Well, now I just have to meet this chico who stole my sister's heart.” He's back to his playful persona, lifting a hand to ruffle your hair, and you flip him off. “Let's see if he is all that you claim he is.”
“He's a good guy, asshole.” He hums, munching on his food. “You'll see,” you say with a small grin while you turn back to the living room to lay back on the couch.
“We'll see.” He mumbles from the kitchen, shaking his head when a thought crosses his mind. He can't believe you fell in love, he still sees you as an annoying toddler who wouldn't let him be at school while he was trying to impress his friends because you were too shy to make your own and would cling to him like a lifeline. In all honesty, Nick has always enjoyed your company, it makes him feel grounded. He cares about your well-being and tries to protect you from every bad thing you have to face, but he knows he can't. Sometimes, you gotta face things on your own. And, sometimes, you don't need your older brother to shield you from pain. It's hard for him to accept that, especially after what you both endured through your lives.
You're all grown up now and he has to stand down his overprotective side because you can handle things, he knows you do. Though he'll be there, in the corner, having your back as always. Because that's what brothers do.
Hopefully, this Spencer Reid will pass the test.
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[translation]
Porque le quiero y sé que él también. = because I love him and I know that he does too
chico = boy, kid
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taglist: @lilyviolets ; @whore-for-spencer-reid ; @yeonalie @ninkieminjaj ;
#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction
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tfw you, as a mind reader, have to team up with a man who thinks too much
Slight spoilers in tags
#wednesday spoilers#marvel spoilers#your honor they're my emotional support dysfunctional couple#as everyone should know#i love tony stark#hes baby girl (derogatory)#and I also love emma#I feel like they're great foils to each other but I dont want to talk about that#theres so much controversy around their wedding#however#people do not realize how funny their friendship could be#tony “i think a mile a minute” stark#Emma “Worst time to be a telepath” Frost#you could not tell me the shenanigans that would happen if the situation was not so dire.#if it was not life or death#emma would be flooded with Tonys nonsensical ideas against her will#she is being held hostage send help#yes i know emma wont read his mind without consent but also mindreading would be smart now#especially since they're kind of alone in this#I have so many thoughts on them#AND THEY SAID MRS. AND MR. EMMA FROST#Literally called Tony malewife#Also Feilong is terrifying as an Iron Man villain#The Invincible Iron Man (2023)#I know this isnt how Tony looked in the comic but this is how I draw my tony#tony stark#marvel 616#diddlydoo#emma frost#irondiamond
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#remember the night of the snl appearance#where SNL mentioned joever in the opening monologue and was like#'leave him alone it was a very meaningful relationship that was a very important growth experience'#and i was like 'aw see they're all grownups we're moving on from this now i'm sure taylor appreciated them being mature about it'#which was before we Knew Things#and can't help but chuckle now and think of the potential that she (and travis) might have actually been seething at that kindness 😂#especially mr. 'i better not be the one acting weird'#given the new depths of joever we've reached since then#like 'no motherfuckers i actually want to burn every bridge please and thank you'#(or like 'actually i hate him thanks')#'please distress and slight as you please'
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Support group for people who want to lose weight not for body image issues or anything but because they want to fit into their brothers' trousers since they can't otherwise get their hands on men's clothes
#just a little. they do overall fit me but the waist is a bit too tight for them to sit comfortably#curse you... child bearing hips......#i'll still have to fight with Mother over keeping them since Brother has outgrown them. but at least they're Here already#mytext#my biggest obstacle is that i'm a lazy slug akslfkgjvn i'm pretty average with just some chub in the hips-to-knees area (classic)#and i've never really cared to change that especially since my weight hasn't really changed in years but.#for brother's cargo trousers........ try we shall 🫡#it's all really because i don't do any kind or exercise or physical activity at all. which i should first or all due to the health factor#but. lazy. whack. too much anxiety to try things out alone (like going to the gym instead of improvising stuff at home). whack.#but with a concrete objective... a routine that i can stick to...... hopefully..........#if i ever do get the courage to go to the gym or find a soul willing to accompany me at least for the first day though.....#we gotta make these arms bigger and muscular boygirlfriend
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"DIY tiny home you can build in weeks", ok... now lets see the cost
...seven and a half minutes later, the answer is $75k... so when you include land and all the rest of it, so basically nothing right?
This is my problem with tiny homes stuff, it's for rich people
#and as much as I'm pro home ownership since like... my house is pretty much what's made my life feasible#like I know two things for a fact; we don't have room to give every last person a house#(especially if they're basically one bedroom sized things dotting the land)#and not everyone even wants to own a home#but like... lets say that everyone did want to own a place... we can't even do single family stuff let alone infinite tiny homes#so you'd need to have at least some homes in the form of basically owned units in an apartment complex which... sounds like condos#and so... I legit don't even come close to having the answer for this#but the sad thing is... a commie block kind of beats a tiny home if we're honest I think#not even in some like... brutalist dystopian shoving people together kind of way#like I think I'd rather live in a well maintained commie block style apartment than in one of infinite tiny homes doting the land#I really really really like tiny homes as a concept... but every time you look at them you realize... it's all for rich people#and half of them are just gentrified trailers or closet sized apartments getting dressed up by an architect to up the price#like I'm not even trying to shit on this company cause like I'm for assembly line style home production#especially compared to the cheap shit we throw up now; it makes me with I could puke in anger and disgust at it#they showed clips to contrast with of a home being tossed up and the shit materials they use disgust me#seeing massive... whatever you call those new home blights... communities I guess; springing up they always look like they're made of trash#so yeah... I like this building style better than shitty single family homes 'from the low 300s'#but I think that these people are either doing a sales pitch; missing the big picture; or both when they talk about this#like this can't fix the housing crisis cause... one no one can afford shit even if it's... lets say $175k; that's a lot to ask most people#but two is it won't work long term to just dot a million little houses across the land#cause quite apart from finding all that land; think of all the electric grid and water infrastructure you have to lay#(or are these people expected to be able to afford solar and all that? cause... they ain't poor if they're doing that)#(and I'd kind of like poor people to not be screwed by the housing problems we have; the rich can get bent honestly)#I like living on my own in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere; I wouldn't want someone right next to me#so I'm literally the kind of person people bitching about rural folks is bitching about; so know that's not what I'm saying#but let's be honest... we need better and cheaper urban infrastructure and we need less suburbs and housing communities#and that's where the solution is gonna lie; not in reinventing the single family home (or smaller)#eh... I really really really like tiny homes and think they're neat... but I can't help but see they're rich people play things#...and that's my thoughts on this#it's kind of like how solar is nice and all... but just a few good nuclear plants would be a better solution than solar on every roof
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"how can you not like jonathan and nancy if steve's your fave" well because i actually like him ☠️
the litmus test for actually liking steve is u have to love robin and the litmus test for actually understanding steve is you can't like st4ncy
#asks#also not sure what brought this on but you people are gonna get me killed#To soothe any troubled souls i will just rehash very quickly i like nancy just fine but i like her potential and i don't want her AROUND#HIM RIGHT NOW they need a restraining order 300 feet#and i like jonathan when he's with his family and when he's with argyle and otherwise he is kind of a flop especially re steve obviously#but really i just like whatever fanon jonathan that's been magicked up i never vibed w him to begin w bc i found him annoying and tiring#SORRY!!!! but i hate the ohhhhhuuhhhhh i just want to listen to the smiths and read poetry i'm so tortured types We would not be friends#but then again i wouldn't be friends with like. eddie. also i didn't like eddie either LOL i had to warm up to him as i watched#AAAND. i don't personally like nancy No but i think ppl fall for the misogyny because the duffer brothers are. misogynists.#i would wager platonic st0nathan do still have potential bc the fact really is they just haven't interacted at ALL#i don't even think they've said an actual word to each other since season 1 really#and i am AWARE his little season 4 STEVE? was meant to be lighthearted and then nancy's response is like to open up however the hell#they're going to attempt to fix the st0ncy triangle BUT GOOD GOD loving a character who the narrative hates is soul crushing OKAY#bc i fear they will not fix it in a way that doesn't completely decimate his character let alone nancy's either. Okay let's go outside#oh and i like when ppl like do the fix it nancy treatment like i said i do like her and her potential i think they can all be besties#but s4 also traumatised me#sts
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You wouldn’t cast away a piece of yourself just because it hurt you, would you?
#💟#Doodles#Art#Edgar#Scriabin#Ladyverse#Crossover#Magic Knight Rayearth#Oh we're digging into the way way wayyy back psyche now#It's honestly kind of a shock to me that I didn't add Nova and Hikaru to my list the first time around#Especially since Alone Together's original~ish concept was meant to be a collection of different unseen duos#And Nova and Hikaru were the spearhead (I think Scriabin and Edgar were second or third in fact lol)#The only thing I can figure is that it was a boy's club - other than Chell and GLaDOS but their relationship is kinda different too lol#They're not in each other's heads hehe#Ladyverse just finally unlocked all the appropriate puzzle pieces lol#Also almost certainly why I gave Edgar those ridiculously huge baubles in the Hellfire set lol#Knew that had to have come from somewhere#This takes my brain all the way around in a circle haha ♪ MKR was The Thing that got me into tragedies and loving crying#Little baby me holing up reading the omnibus for the first time and sobbing at the ending hehe ♥ I come by it honest#And then S2 came out guns a'blazing with a protag who cast away a part of herself that grew an infatuation and regularly hits on her#Oh yeah that doesn't speak to my current interests at allllll~♪ Haha#Man Nova was done so dirty I wish S2 was literally any good other than her lol#Anyway#I reread S1 for references for Hikaru's outfit for Edgar (don't mind the glove it literally switches /in the manga/ lol)#Fuu even has a mirror scene where her doppelganger hurts her! It's still really good honestly#And the round glasses lol ♪ All my tastes come back to CLAMP how dare they haha ♫
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Me, after reading new Exlibrium chapter: oh, oh, wait, so now we have Balor and Yana 2.0 - Ink Edition?
#I legit saw the cover and was like 'Sasha and Kira are gonna get fused aren't they?'#now they're the creepy entity that is the House of Bones#but this entity still hopes to see their friends#which is so damn heartwarming#and heartbreaking because it means Inga Lilya and Matvey are gonna suffer a long while#especially Inga since she saw that shit unfold right around her. not to mention she was supposed to be a part of this entity.#oh goodness. please. leave my girl alone. she needs a hug. a lot of hugs.#I joke that it's Balor and Yana 2.0 not in a romantic sense but in a 'now they're one and the same and creepy' kind of sense#ALSO. THE HIGHLIGHT OF THIS CHAPTER IS AGATA STANDINGIN FRONT OF THE TEAM WITH AN ARROW IN HER FOREHEAD#AND LOOKING AT THEM WITH 'ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!' FACE#she's so done I love it#and yay! I knew she was alive!
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Oh?
A whopping 4 notifications? I saw two earlier on my phone, I wonder what the other two ar-
What else would it be...
bit of an update/rant in tags, though I don't expect anyone will read any of it let alone this post itself to be honest
#I've really just not had any drive to be on here lately#part of it's because of issues that were already happening like how little anyone seems interested outside of a small handful of people#and how whenever I do come on here I just see everyone on my dash getting all kinds of interactions and I'm just left sitting here#and it just makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong and if I should even bother trying honestly#but then the other parts of it are just that I've been enjoying myself a hell of a lot more while playing games this past while#so my whole day ends up just wasting away because I've been gaming and then I'm watching videos or anime at night#I have started writing on discord with one friend and I enjoy that a lot especially since I've been able to write an older character again#but I want to write more with Kyuushi Axel and Hotaru so badly#yet I just can't think of anything to do on here because I just know anything I put out will be dead on arrival#and it's ruined my muse for a lot of threads too to the point they're just sitting in tabs on my browser waiting for replies#I want to enjoy myself on here#but I can only do so much on my own#and I've tried multiple times in the past to do everything that I alone can do#only for nothing to come of any of it
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house sitter | anakin skywalker x reader
word count: 2.5k
warnings: MDNI 18+, kinda non con ???, somnophilia, groping, unprotected sex, creampie, infedelity, mild degradation, fingering, oral (f receiving), age gap (anakins in his 30s, reader is an adult), anakin's a pervert.
summary: you watch over the skywalker's home while they're out on a date.
a/n: this might be all over the place so i apologize BUT this is actually the idea i was talking about when i posted "i just woke up with the horniest fic idea."
house sitting was without a doubt the easiest job you'd ever had. all you had to do was lounge around in expensive homes and watch out for intrusions, which, for the record, hardly ever happen.
the famous skywalker family had employed you to watch over their house while they went on dates, visited other planets, etc. you had gotten to know the couple pretty well, especially anakin since he was always friendly with you and often times would spend time speaking to you, although it was never anything more than just light conversation for him.
you noticed that anakin had spent more time talking to you lately and was starting to become a little bit more attentive towards you, he had always been kind and friendly but you felt his friendliness had become more... intentional, but maybe you were just imagining things.
padmé called you to inform you that she and anakin were going out to dinner and would be gone for the majority of the evening.
you've just pulled up to the skywalkers' driveway, parked your car, and started approaching the stone walkway. after a few knocks, anakin finally opens the door with a small grin plastered across his face. he couldn't help but feel a certain thrill at the thought of having you around again.
"hey, glad you could make it." anakin greeted you at the door, his dark blue eyes took you in for a moment before he steps to the side to let you in. padmé approaches you while still putting in her earrings.
"thank you so much for watching the house while we're gone," she beams. padmé's enthusiastic behavior always made you smile.
"of course, padmé. your house is in good hands." you replied with a gentle smile. anakin caught your gaze and you couldn't help but notice the way he was looking at you. his eyes had an almost dreamy but slightly lustful gleam about them. you choose to ignore it and bring your attention back to padmé.
"we'll be back at around midnight." as anakin and padmé bid their farewells and depart for their much-anticipated date night, you find yourself standing alone in the grandeur of their house. the silence envelopes you, broken only by the soft hum of the air conditioning.
you take a moment to admire the opulence surrounding you, marveling at the elegant decor and lavish furnishings. the house was a reflection of anakin and padmé's status and influence, a testament to their power. as you explore the various rooms, you can't help but imagine the passionate moments that must have unfolded within these walls.
the master bedroom beckons to you with its inviting ambiance - a room that surely holds countless memories for anakin and padmé. you imagine them tangled in each other's arms, their bodies entwined, lost in a world of whispered promises and shared desires. a wicked thought creeps into your mind - a fantasy of being the one who arouses such passion in anakin.
shaking off the enticing daydream, you divert your attention to the rest of the house.
you stumble upon anakin's personal study. your interest is sparked because, although it was normally locked, it was slightly open. it was a room filled with ancient jedi texts and mechanical tools. it's here that his true nature is laid bare. the forceful fervor with which he delves into his studies mirrors the intensity with which he pursues everything else in his life. you can't help but be drawn to his passion, intrigued by the raw power that lies within him.
you come across a bookshelf filled with an assortment of literary gems. pulling out a weathered book, you settle into a plush armchair, relishing the tranquility. lost in your thoughts, you find yourself sinking into anakin's chair, surrounded by his aura.
you open the book slowly, the faint smell of aged paper wafting up to greet you. each word holds the potential to shape the very fabric of your understanding of the force.
as you begin to read, the words dance across the page, captivating your attention. the author's insights into the force captivate your imagination, revealing ancient practices and techniques that have long been forgotten. you find yourself engrossed in the descriptions of lightsaber combat, the delicate balance necessary to harness the power of the force, and the connection between the physical and spiritual realms.
lost in the world of the book, you almost forget the reason for your presence in this house. the vivid descriptions transport you to a realm where you are the jedi, wielding a lightsaber with grace and precision, matching anakin's own skills in the heat of battle. you imagine his presence beside you, his body pressed against yours, his lips brushing against your neck, leaving a trail of fiery kisses. your mind is left with the image, a luring invitation to give in to the craving.
a sense of guilt washes over you like a bitter tide. anakin is still married to padmé, having these thoughts feels wrong. thoughts of anakin, his intense gaze, and his tempting touch linger. anakin and padmé's love is palpable, their connection evident in every glance and tender gesture. you brush off your thoughts and pick up the book to divert your attention once more.
you make your way down to the living room, with the book in your hand, and you find a cozy spot on the plush couch. the room is dimly lit, casting a soft glow on the surroundings. settling into the cushions, you open the book, eager to immerse yourself in its pages.
as you continue to read the exciting stories within the book, a wave of drowsiness washes over you. the cozy atmosphere of the living room lulls you into a tranquil state.
your eyelids grow heavy, and you find yourself sinking deeper into the plush cushions of the couch. the words on the pages begin to blur, the lines fading into a hazy backdrop and before you know it, sleep claims you completely.
about an hour or so later, anakin arrives home unexpectedly. stepping through the door, an unexpected sight greets his eyes. there you are, sound asleep on the couch, his gaze drifts down to the book resting against your stomach.
"nosy girl." anakin mutters. his mouth curves into a sly smirk as a sinister thought starts to take shape. he sets the forgotten item aside, his attention now fixated on the curves of your body, the rise and fall of your chest with each breath. slowly, he approaches, his footsteps barely audible against the soft carpet.
with a gentle touch, he brushes a few strands of hair away from your face, his fingertips lingering on your skin for a brief moment. he contemplates waking you, but the feeling of his dick twitching from inside his pants leads him in a different direction.
you looked so peaceful, so perfect. anakin finds himself yearning for the sound of your voice, the touch of your skin against his, the taste of your lips.
anakin's hand reaches out tentatively. his fingers brush against your cheek, the touch soft and delicate. with each stroke of his fingertips, anakin's touch becomes bolder, his hand gradually sliding downward. his fingers trail lower, caressing the delicate curve of your collarbone before continuing their descent.
he runs his fingers over the top of your breasts, then reaches down to cup one, giving it a light squeeze. he groans slightly, feeling his growing erection press harder against the zipper of his pants.
anakin's hands began to slide up under your shirt, rubbing small circles over your hardening nipples. his fingers moved slowly along the soft skin of your stomach, grazing your hip bones before coming to rest at the waistband of your pants. he watched intently as your body responded to his touch, a soft sigh escaping your lips. with a confident yet tender touch, anakin begins to slowly slide your pants down your legs. his eyes devoured the sight of your panties.
a grin tugged at the corners of his lips as he noticed the adorable pattern of small flowers adorning the white fabric, adding an innocent touch to the moment.
"oh poor baby." he coos. his fingers skimmed lightly over the fabric that covered your core. feeling the dampness seeping through the fabric, anakin's eyes sparked with desire. unable to resist, he carefully slipped his hand beneath you, skillfully removing the delicate fabric and stashing them in his pocket without disturbing your peaceful slumber.
anakin marveled at the sight before him, the delicate folds of your wetness glistening in the dim light of the room. he couldn't help but be captivated by your beauty. the sight of you laid bare, vulnerable and inviting, sent a surge of anticipation through his veins.
with a gentle touch, he traced his fingers along your inner thighs, relishing in the softness of your skin. his gaze locked onto your core, his desire burning hotter with each passing second. he wanted nothing more than to taste you, to bring you pleasure in the most intimate way possible.
anakin lowered himself onto his knees, ensuring every movement he made was as silent and gentle as possible. he positioned himself between your legs, his eyes never leaving your pussy.
as he prepared himself to taste you, anakin carefully parted your folds. with a controlled release of his breath, he lowers his mouth onto your cunt, his tongue tracing a path along your folds. anakin moans lowly as he inserts a single finger inside of you, feeling how tight and warm you were.
anakin's movements were gentle yet purposeful, each lick and slow curl of his finger intended to bring you closer to the edge of pleasure. he was careful to maintain a rhythm that wouldn't wake you up.
as his tongue danced across your heated pussy, he couldn't help but be entranced by the way your body responded to his ministrations. the twitches and shudders, the soft moans that slipped past your lips—each one only fueled his own desire to give you more.
anakin pulls himself away from your drooling cunt once he feels that you're getting close.
"not yet baby, i wanna feel you cum on my cock." he whispers while pulling off his belt and shoving his boxers and pants all the way down to his ankles. his cock stands proudly, a small bead of precum dribbling down his shaft. anakin strokes himself a few times before carefully positioning himself between your legs and entering your pussy completely.
a moan escapes his lips as he firmly thrusts into you. he moved cautiously at first, savoring the exquisite tightness of your embrace as he began a slow rhythm, each thrust drawing him further into a frenzy of arousal.
anakin reveled in the feel of your cunt gripping him tightly, the way your walls massaged his length with each thrust. he was lost in the intoxicating sensation, focusing solely on the raw pleasure that consumed him.
you gasp loudly in shock, finally emerging from your sleep, and anakin hastily turns to face you.
"anak-" anakin's large hand abruptly covered your mouth, silencing your words before they could form completely. his intense gaze bore into your eyes, his face dangerously close to yours.
"finally awake now huh?" he teases, his voice laced with a hint of delighted amusement. he allowed himself a moment to revel in the fear that flared in your eyes, the allure of pushing boundaries and igniting forbidden desires too tempting to resist.
as he continued thrusting into your abused cunt, his motions grew more purposeful and commanding.
anakin's voice, dripping with authority, took on a more degrading tone. "my little bookworm couldn't help herself, hm? just had to go snooping around." he nods in the direction of his office.
"been thinking about this pussy ever since i hired you," he pants in between thrusts. "i've seen the way you look at me. eye fucking me every chance you get, right in front of my wife too? dirty, dirty girl." anakin chuckles, shaking his head.
as your bodies entwined, he deliberately increased the intensity of each thrust, the sound of skin slapping against skin bouncing off the walls.
anakin felt a mixture of ecstasy and need flood his senses as your core compressed around his length, causing his breath to get caught in his throat. the intensity of the moment fueled his own arousal, pushing him closer to the edge of his own climax.
"cum for me baby, i know you're close." his words sent a shiver of anticipation down your spine, fanning the flames of your arousal. anakin's hands gripped your body with an undeniable possessiveness, his body moving with an inescapable rhythm that drove you closer to the edge of release.
anakin's hand remained firmly covering your mouth, your moans muffled as you finally tip over the edge. he continued to thrust into you, his pace steady as he chased his own orgasm. anakin's body convulsed, his cock twitching deep within your pussy. you could feel his hot cum painting your insides. anakin's movements finally come to a stop before he pulls out of your sore cunt.
he swiftly pulled up his pants and underwear, his movements were tinged with a cold detachment. without a word, he threw your pants in your direction, his actions lacking the tenderness he had displayed moments before. the forceful gesture caught her off guard, leaving her momentarily stunned as she caught the garment.
"next time, we'll put that pretty mouth to good use." his hand gently cupped your cheek, giving it a few taps. his touch a mixture of possessiveness and affection.
with a last lingering look, he slowly made his way towards the door, leaving you behind, savoring the remnants of your passionate encounter. the room carried the heady scent of your intimacy, an echo of the fervent connection you and anakin had shared.
as you put your pants on, you see the book on the floor that you carried down from anakin's office. you close it after picking it up and place it on the coffee table in front of you. the weight of guilt bore down on you, tainting the air in the room with a mix of remorse and self-doubt. your head buried in your hands, you grappled with the conflicting feelings that threatened to overwhelm you.
the memory of your intimate connection replayed in your mind, it almost made you feel sick. a pang of empathy pierced through you. padmé flashed in your mind, her image haunting and filled you with concern.
you continued to house sit, carrying the weight of your guilt alongside your duties. in the midst of the forbidden desires that you and anakin shared, you sought solace in fulfilling your responsibilities, hoping that in time, the guilt would fade, and clarity would guide you towards a resolution.
#nai writes ୨୧#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin skywalker smut#anakin x you#anakin x reader#anakin skywalker#anakin#hayden christensen#hayden christensen x reader#hayden christensen x you#star wars
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18+ 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓲𝓻 𝓛𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓝𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓣𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓼 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾
pile 1 --> pile 2 --> pile 3
pile 4 --> pile 5 --> pile 6
my masterlist<3 . paid readings
Hi beautiful souls✨ Today we will be looking into your person's late night thoughts about you. This reading will have 18+ messages so if you are a minor please do not interact with this reading. Remember to meditate, take a deep breath and pick whatever pile calls to you the most. My readings are meant for everyone, no matter what sexuality or identity you are. Since this is a general reading, make sure to take what resonates and leave what doesn't.
Pile 1
Cards: Strength rx, Ten of Swords rx, Four of Wands rx, Five of Swords, Queen of Swords, Page of Wands, King of Cups, Knight of Pentacles
Back of the Deck: Temperance
For you Pile 1, I am getting a more submissive fantasy for your person. I was actually picking up that this person may be someone you have already been intimate with, or just started dating, something like that. I feel like your person wants to feel submissive in bed and try new things. Your person may have a sort of control kink? Your person is thinking of blindfolds and being tied up. I feel like these are things they have never tried, or very rarely tried and really liked it. I think they want to fight for dominance during foreplay, but in a teasing way like they are just trying to act up and make you put them in their place. Also this reading is for everyone regardless of sexuality and gender and take it how it resonates but spirit keeps showing me a feminine in a more dominant position. They may be into a kind of dominatrix kind of thing. Yeah spirit is pushing that message to me pretty strongly, especially since we got the Queen of Swords. But your person imagines being degraded, they want you to put them in their place and make them feel little. I heard things such as "Tell me I am a slut" or "I want you to only look at me tonight". Ok, so they're a little jealous and they wanna take it out in bed. They imagine a scenario where you make them jealous and that is when they become more dominant or bratty and possessive and when they get you alone, they will make sure you don't think about anyone else. They would seduce you with sweet nothings whispered in your ear and praise for you. Kind of the opposite of what they want you to do to them. They imagine a beautiful night full of passion with you. They got all these kinks but they are also a softie for you and they want you to hold their hand while you make them feel good or vice versa. Your person wants to put on show for you, I think they imagine it to last all night.
Advice Cards:
Bring something new into your life
Release what you do not need. Let go of some extraneous aspect of your life
Seek to understand from a place of connection rather than separation
Your guides and teachers are telling you that they hear you and are helping
Your spirit wings are unfolding. It is time to take flight!
Get clear about what you want
Channeled Song:
Pile 2
Cards: Ten of Pentacles, Four of Swords, Queen of Cups, Ace of Pentacles, Three of Pentacles, Three of Swords rx, The Lovers, The Empress
Back of the Deck: The Hierophant
The first message I got almost immediately is body👏worshiping👏, SO STRONGLY. You live rent free in your person's mind Pile 2. Your body is absolutely on their mind like all the time. Late at night, they imagine taking their time with you, admiring every part of your body and telling you everything that makes you so beautiful inside and out. They would make sure no part of you goes untouched. Highly recommend yall listen to Butterflies by Michael Jackson cause the lyrics of the song are exactly how your person feels about you. Your person is so romantic, they want to treat you right and make sure you are comfortable and feel safe. Your person won't only think dirty things, they would imagine a whole life with you. They think about talking to you, enjoying your company, getting to know everything about you, your future together. My goodness Pile 2, your person is giving off such Jane Austin love interest vibes and it is everything. I don't think they want you to do any work, they just want to take care of you and make you feel completely blissful. They want to heal you with sex. They don't want to just sleep with you, they want to make love to you. Sex, to them is almost sacred and it's their way of connecting with you on a physical and spiritual level. I feel like some of yall have low expectations of people, maybe specifically when it come to sex and your person knows this and they want to be the person to finally make you feel satisfied in bed. Your person would listen to any idea you have (within reason lol), if you told them to be as rough as possible with you, they would do so without thinking twice because you asked. They just imagine being of service to you, like a knight in shining armour (which is kinda funny cause I didn't get any knight cards, but fr I am getting such knight vibes). Although your person imagines worshiping you all night long, I am getting part of them wants a reward for their hard work and they deserve one. But this reward could also just be hearing your moans and praises of how good they make you feel. This message is for my feminines, but your person imagines getting you pregnant, they absolutely have a breeding kink. They are a little possessive over you but I'm not getting in an unhealthy way. Your person is overall so sweet and they just adore you. I also kept hearing future spouse while doing this reading so if you are reading this with your future spouse in mind, this is confirmation.
Advice Cards (spirits wanted to give yall a few extra):
It's time to try something new!
No better time exists than right now
Control is an illusion. Surrender and allow the Universe to guide you
Release all attachments that do not serve you
It is time to challenge old beliefs
Be alert for your opportunity
Take a lighter approach and smile about all facets in your life. A smile reflects a heart at peace
Love is the answer to current situation
Channeled Song:
Pile 3
Cards: Queen of Wands, Three of Cups rx, Eight of Cups rx, Seven of Cups rx, Queen of Cups, Ace of Wands, The Lovers, King of Wands rx
Back of the Deck: Nine of Swords
Quite honestly, your person's late night thoughts can seem very messy. Pile 3, I think half of the time, your person's thoughts are wholesome and loving. They fantasise about cuddling you, caressing your soft skin, taking in every aspect of you and tattooing it in their memory. They imagine taking as much time as possible, if they could they would spend all day in bed with you, making love and treating you like royalty. They imagine bringing you to tears with their mouth, making you feel like you are on cloud 9. They are soft and gentle and just want to enjoy each other's bodies. They would give the most beautiful compliments, making you feel like you have become one, you can't even tell where they start and you begin. And when you are done, they want to clean you up and sleep all day wrapped up in each other. ON THE OTHER HAND, they also have the freakiest fantasies. Yes, they want to make you cry but they want to watch you stain your face with tears from denial and their rough touches. They want to be ruthless and cruel. Yes, they want to touch you everywhere, but it isn't gentle and soft. They imagine griping you harshly, not worrying how much it may hurt, the pain would elevate the pleasure of the experience. Something that was once sweet and loving, more passionate and brutal. They want to try every position, see which one makes you the loudest. Thats not even including their words. Before they were sweet as honey and full of praise. Now they are degrading and humiliating, stuff you only hear in the dirtiest of erotic novels. They are preverted and the farthest things from wholesome. I sense your person has a lot of shame for thinking the more unholy thoughts and shame themselves for it. Although no matter what scenario they have made up in their mind, their actions only want to show their love for you and express how you make them feel. Also, they are very possessive of you, they don't like to share and want you to know that. In fact, this may be the cause of them thinking about their more kinky thoughts.
Advice Cards:
It is time to take appropriate action
A change in attitude toward the greater good could be beneficial
A powerful dream will guide you
Your body needs your attention
You are greater than your story
Create a plan and take the first step
Channeled Songs (you get two song congrats lol):
Pile 4
Cards: Three of Pentacles rx, Nine of Cups, Ace of Swords, Ace of Wands, Ace of Pentacles, Ten of Cups, Ten of Pentacles, Four of Swords rx
Back of the Deck: Queen of Swords
For you my Pile 4s, I think your person actually has some pretty wholesome thoughts about you late at night. Not to say they don't have 18+ about you cause they do, but I feel like that isn't what is important to them with your connection and relationship. Late at night, your person is more of a softie and likes to think of your future together and maybe plan dates between yall. Your person imagines spending the whole day with you and treating you to dinner. I am picking up Superman from My Adventure with Superman vibes which is interesting cause I have gotten thoses vibes before in another reading so if you are interested I suggest reading Pile 3 of my What you will love about your future spouse reading and if you already read that reading this is just confirmation. Your person holds you in a high regard and with much love. They plan strategically so that you will fall head over heels with them. The lyrics to Only Girl by Rihanna keep playing in my head, but it's coming off more in the way of like, they want to make you feel like the only girl/boy/person in the world. So when it comes to more 18+ thoughts of you, I think your person either gets really embarrassed when they think these thoughts or worry that they are disrespecting you in some way by thinking these thoughts. But you really push your way into their mind Pile 4. While the Devil didn't come out, the card did make it's presence known to me and I think it has some significances in this reading, especially paired with the Queen of Swords, you are are like a siren to your person or the apple tempting Eve. Actually, I think they have had dreams like this. Spirit is showing me a sailor at sea losing their mind as they get sucked into a whirlwind, but suddenly, they hear the most alluring and inviting voice they have ever heard. That voice leads to an equally as alluring person that only pulls them closer, infatuated with this siren that pulls them in. I feel like your person has a dream that looks something like this about you. I feel kinda stupid cause I am just now realising that the energy of this pile is actually pretty similar to the MV that the picture is from, Peek A Boo by Red Velvet, I would definitely recommend you to watch the MV after this. I really feel that your person almost loses control of their body when they think of you, getting aroused just thinking of you. Your person may be a virgin or unexperienced and they don't want you to know. I am hearing they want to indulge in you, your scent, your body, the noises you make when they hit the right spot. It's like an addiction to them. I've gotten kind of jealous or possessive vibes from most of the piles and this one is no exception, but I don't feel like they would take too much action on it but I feel like their thoughts of you would get more intense, like they imagine dragging you away from whoever they are jealous of and making it so the only name you can think is theirs. They don't want to stop, even if you are begging that it's too much, unless you say a safe word, they ain't stopping. They want you to wake up sore and desperately trying to cover their marks. They give off such "I'll bring your daughter back before 7"/"They call me daddy too" energy lol. Also not a late night thought but your person either has a HUGE dick (Ace of Wands AND Swords, goodness gracious) or just has very attractive genitals. My mind was everywhere during this readings and I feel like this may be the same way your person feels about you.
Advice Cards:
You are healing at a cellular level
Bring something new into your life
You are much stronger than you think
Reflect on the state and use of your personal energy
Practice the pause
Release unhelpful influences and fears
Channeled Song:
(Also listen to Only Girl and Peek A Boo but spirit kinda shoved this song in my face so here ya go lol. But I also feel like for some of yall your person has a connection to music)
Pile 5
Cards: Six of Pentacles, The Magician, The Devil, Page of Wands, Eight of Cups, The Fool, Three of Cups rx, Ace of Pentacles rx
Back of the Deck: Two of Swords
I think out of all the piles, this one has the horniest energy. Your person really enjoys sex in general. They might have a lot of experience, I am picking on someone who enjoys casual sex, they don't really need an emotional connection. You may have even met this person through a one night stand, I am not picking up that you know this person very well, maybe someone you met in college I am hearing. They could have also been someone you see often but never interact with. Whatever it is, your person can't seem to get you out of their mind. And quite unlike other piles, they are NOT shy about it. They want to make sure you know that they attracted to you. I heard "Why hesitate so someone can snatch you up? Why would I do that when I can make you mine now?" They have a lot of confidence and pride and I think that comes through in bed and in their late night thoughts. They are a giver to you, they want to make you scream and cry, they want people to complain in the morning. They are adventurous, using all their experience to maximise your pleasure. They want to try everything with you, every toy, every position, every place and see what feels the best for both of you. They want to talk to you the whole time, letting you know the effect you have on them. Very explicit words that they imagine would have you curling your toes and pulling them closer to you. They want to see you let go, I heard they may have a corruption kink. I feel like they actually have quite a few kinks, I think they will vary among all of you but spirit keeps telling me feet which might have something to do with the picture for this reading lol. So I don't think this next message is for everyone but some of you have a partner already and your person obviously dislikes this, but I think they imagine fucking you in front of them, I heard "letting them know who you really belong to". They want to steal you away from them. Your person is wild Pile 5 lol. I think you are one of the only people they have ever considered a relationship with outside of sex but also to enjoy each other and explore each other's bodies. Also not for all of yall but you or your person may be French.
Advice Cards:
There is an important message to be heard
Be sure to keep your promises, especially to yourself
Allow rituals to give meaning to your spiritual life
Remember that in universal law, all is well and fair
Control is an illusion. Surrender and allow the Universe to guide you
It is time to challenge old beliefs
Channeled Song:
Pile 6
Cards: Seven of Pentacles, Nine of Cups rx, Four of Pentacles rx, Justice, The Hanged Man, Knight of Pentacles, Queen of Wands, The Hermit
Back of the Deck: Knight of Swords
So if you are already in a relationship or maybe married already, this reading is for you lol. This also is the only reading that I feel like it's more daytime thoughts than late night. Or more like they are thinking about you 24/7. I am picking up for this pile that your person may work A LOT, and would barely have time to spend with you. I also heard for some of yall, you guys already have kids together and never can find time to be intimate with each other. So I think your person just waits and waits until the day they can have you all to themselves. Their mind often wanders to the feeling of your gentle touch, the plush feeling of your thighs and sweet kisses exchanged between yall. I heard they could die happy between your legs. If you have a vulva they LOVE your vulva. They would want you to suffocate them with it and I heard sometimes when they are really deep in this fantasy specifically, they forget to breathe lol. They want to let you know the effect you have on them as you race through their mind. I heard "Did you know what you did to me at work? You made me suffer all day and now you have to help me out." They also want you to take care of them. They imagine you caressing them, cleaning them(?), and exploring them to help them relieve some some after a long stressful day. They imagine coming home and seeing you ready for them and all dressed up all perfect for them so they can rip it all and feel your body from the bottom to the top. They also imagine you surprising them at work, bringing them lunch and taking them away so they can spend all day with you. I really feel like that would be a dream come true to them, but it's like super unrealistic for yall, although if you could surprise at work, Pile 6, do it, that would make their month. They want you to praise them for all the hard work they do all day and make them feel special for a special night (although spirits are saying that they won't dislike some playful degrading from time to time.) Loved the energy of this pile so much, can't tell if it's you or your person but either way yall are cute.
Advice Cards:
You are intended to succeed. Align your actions with your highest dreams
Control is an illusion. Surrender and allow the Universe to guide you
Pay attention to the issue that time plays in your life right now
Yes, you can . . . Set it in motion!
Hold a positive outlook. You will see it when you believe it
Relax and feel good. You deserve more joy!
You are a natural teacher
Channeled Song:
Thanks for tuning in₊‧.°.⋆🫧•˚₊‧⋆.
#tarot#tarot reading#pick a pile#tarot reader#pac tarot#pac reading#pick a card reading#pick a photo#spotify#love reading#18+ tarot#18+ only#18+ content#18+ tarot reading#love tarot reading#love tarot free#love tarot#free tarot reading#tarot card reading#free tarot#tarotblr#Spotify#18+ tarot readings
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could u possibly do how companions would treat tav's kid? like in a situation where a tav had a child/younger sibling or smth. fluffy fluff all around
You know how sometimes fate aligns so that your past deeds follow you into the future? This request gave me a flashback to my old writing blog.
Companions reacting to Tav's younger sibling/child
[ bg3, fluff, several characters ]
[ Astarion, Gale, Wyll, Halsin, Karlach, Laezel, Shadowheart, Minthara ]
Astarion
What on earth is that little gremlin following you around? Just make sure that no one feeds it after midnight.
To say he's not a fan is a huge underestimation, he signed up for a camp full of hot available single adults and not a daycare. How are you expecting him to be his usual self when a pg13 warning keeps chasing you around.
Whatever, he will just ignore the goblin-like thing. He can do that, how hard can it be?
Well...actually now that some time has passed, he has to admit that the little menace is really funny at times. Especially that one time he stole Gale's books to build a book throne in the mud, Astarion swears he could still hear Gale's heart shattering into a million pieces, what a fond memory.
What? Pfff, no, he isn't getting attached. He just...well was doing some trick with a coin to make it disappear, and the kid happened to be nearby, Astarion definitely wasn't trying to impress them.
Now the thing about picking locks is that it's better to teach them young. Think of all the small places, nooks, and crannies they could fit into, bringing them some loot and actually be useful.
And since he's already bothering to do it, might as well teach them how to wield a bow. Properly wield a bow, not like how Wyll does it no, it requires elegance only an elf is capable of and Astarion is the most expert here to train them.
Did you see that? They're actually getting better. He genuinely is impressed, so much that he doesn't register the smile of pride adorning his face, the excitement in his voice as he boasts about the kid's accomplishment and how they're clearly superior than the other crotch goblins.
Gale
Ah, children, truly the future of mankind. Humanity's hope and the ones who will carry the torch after us.
He is almost giddy at the idea of having an impressionable youth to teach, to steer and to spoil rotten like he was spoiled.
Will show off magic tricks nonchalantly, he definitely has a hidden agenda in trying to make the kid a wizard. After all who is better than him, an arch wizard, to teach a new curious soul about all the wonders of the weave? No magic is too advanced, everything is possible with imagination.
If anything, kids have the best imagination, better than adults do. Which is the argument he uses when you ask him why your little one can shoot invisible fireballs now.
He would love to read to them, he has all kinds of stories about heros, past legends and fables that will guarantee them a safe and sound mind. A healthy mindest to nurture then into a good kind hearted adult.
Even when his books end up the subject of the kid's abuse kind of a lot- Gale is nothing but forgiving. Cut the kid some slack, if anything, Gale is happy they are safe and sound.
Would make special meals for the kid during dinner time a lot, bunny shaped carrot cuts or soup with a sparkly finish. He can even teach them some basic recipes, cooking is a very important life skill afterall.
Wyll
He is very experienced with kids. Feels a bit concerned for the fact they're at camp all alone and volunteers to stay behind and watch them. And no, unlike the previous two, he doesn't try to indoctrinate them into elf supremacy culture nor tactically manipulate them into being a wizard.
He just lets them be a kid, plays ball with them. Shows them how to play fetch with Scratch. Overall a very cool and laid back older brother.
He definitely takes great inspiration from his own dad and how he raised him, offers the same advice and wisdom his own father shared with him.
Shows the kid that life is so much more than it seems, nothing is truly evil and nothing is truly good. Both can be found in each other. He treats the kid with respect and doesn't pull the older than you card unless necessary.
He wants them to establish their own being, their own character and carve their own path in life.
Definitely does whatever he can to keep Mizora away from the child. That devil cannot be trusted, and even while he knows the kid is smart, he doesn't want to leave it up to fate whether Mizora tricks them into a pact or not.
Halsin
The kid adores him and all of his animal forms. Halsin indulges them a lot and changes into whatever wildshape they deem the coolest that day to play with them.
When he looks at them, he sees a seed for the future. It requires care and nurturing to grow properly, and he is willing to make this world a better place for them.
Shows them how important nature is, how we should take care of the world just like it takes care of us. How we should respect the plants and the animals, how every meal is a gift and should be treasured.
He has a very fatherly vibe to him. It comes naturally, and he doesn't even have to try. Whenever the kid feels overwhelmed or scared, it's Halsin they run up and hide behind.
Also, when they get in trouble too because they know Halsin will take their side.
And he knows the kid is using him sometimes, but he lets it slide. Takes the kid on walks a lot, helps them make friends with the nearby cat that sometimes frequents the camp.
There is a potted plant they're both growing, a small shared project between the two of them. Halsin adores the look of happiness the kid has whenever the plant sprouts a new leaf and grows taller.
They don't have to know that it was Halsin's powers keeping it alive throughout the frequent changing of their camp and consistent travelling.
Karlach
Little soldier is what she calls them.
Picks them up a lot after her engine gets fixed, let's them ride on her shoulder and hang on to her horns sometimes. Even indulges them and pretends she is a robot that they're controlling.
Sorry Astarion, she can't stop hugging you. She's a simple robot, and the overlord kid on her shoulders demanded it.
While Wyll is the cool yet dependable older sibling, Karlach is the even cooler one who's very chaotic and would help the kid in their pranks and cause trouble a lot.
Ah, what the hell kid, sure you can pick up her great flaming axe and swing it around. Actually she will use a nearby table as a shield and you should definitely try throwing it at her.
It's not that she means to be a bad influence, it's just that she is extremely indulgent. That it circles back to being a bad influence without meaning to.
They want to only eat sweets for dinner and all day? Hell yeah little soldier she wants the same. They want to do it for the rest of eternity and never eat vegetables again? Sign her the fuck up because she is ride or die.
Oh yeah, your kid/sibling can swear now, thanks to her, you're welcome.
Jaheira
Is the one feeding them the vegetables, after telling Karlach off and putting her in the timeout corner.
It's not enough that she has a gaggle of children back home, but you had to bring another one with you to the camp? Oh cub, you and your own little cub are going to be the death of her.
If Halsin thinks he can hide them behind his bear form he better think twice, Jaheira isn't below putting the both of them in line if she has to.
She demands respect, and the kid definitely ends up giving it to her, begrudgingly or not. They understand she is the true form of authority in this camp and that they better do what she says and finish their chores.
They definitely see her as a grandma. She is secretly touched if they call her that but acts unaffected. She just doesn't want to let the kid down. She has to be strict because medicine never tastes sweet.
They remind her of her own kids backhome sometimes, she does get homesick a lot more with them around.
Shadowheart
No, she isn't emo. No, she isn't goth either. What is this kid talking about? They better know that worship of lady Shar is very sacred and not a passing phase she will grow out of.
You know how kids are overly curious and always ask these intrusive questions? Shadowheart is a magnet for that.
They just go up to her ,unannounced, and tell her about the recent camp news. She sips on her wine and gives the kid a glass of grape juice while they gossip.
Yes, she is a half elf. No, she is still as capable as an elf.
Wait, what did Astarion say about her? Really? Well, kid, thanks for being a snitch now. If you'd excuse her, she has urgent business to take care of.
She sees them and wonder if this is how her childhood was supposed to be like, if this is what she was missing out on all her life. Sometimes she can't help the burning envy at the back of her throat as she watches them be showered with love and care for simply existing.
But she doesn't let the bitterness get to her, not with how the kid looks at her in awe and admiration. She vows to be at least a decent example and not disappoint them.
Laezel
If left unattended, she will start a boot camp. Come one kid, get down, and give her 40 push-ups now.
What? She is just looking out for them. How else are they supposed to join the battlefield if they have no upper body strength?
Yes, the battlefield, why do you ask? Of course, she wants them in the front lines eventually. War is the perfect environment to raise a child, to make them strong and fast. You were very smart for bringing them here with you, she has to admit.
Bah, she scoofs at Karlach and Astarion's ways. It is a danger hazard at best. The kid needs to start with training equipment and not actual weapons. Her companions' lack of braincells does surprise her sometimes.
Well...she also does mention the fact that for them to graduate, they have to actually murder someone from the camp. You know, like how she murdered half her classmates when she was still in training.
She actually...does a good job at training them safely, she evaluates their weakness and strengths and gives them advice based on it on how to improve. She looks out for their well-being and shows them the most efficient way to end a fight.
But she's only joking? Right? Right???
Uh....did anyone see Gale??
Minthara
To put it in the nicest way possible, they are terrfied of her.
She thinks it's good because any sane person should be afraid of her. Frankly, she'd be concerned for a possibility of brain damage if they weren't.
They avoid her, and she barely pats an eye over it.
Although she was always the first to act whenever they were in danger, completely beheading the enemy with her sword before they could touch a hair on the kid. Still she doesn't care for the fact the child is drenched in blood and just saw someone get murdered.
She thinks they should get over it. The sooner, the better. Life is full of murder and blood, you'd be only dooming them if you don't let them see things for how they really are.
Drow culture for raising their children is very brutal, most of them die young and even the ones who do make it alive, don't live as long as the surface elves do.
Each drow carries deep scars from childhood, both on body and mind. Minthara wasn't the exception.
She tolerates your young out of respect for you. She tolerates what she deems as disobedience and disrespect from them.
You're not sure if they'll ever stop fearing her, but you also know that you can trust her to be there for them. To not hesitate a second in saving their flesh no matter what the cost is.
#♡shart#♡minthara#♡karlach#♡Jaheira#♡Halsin#♡Astarion#♡Gale#♡Wyll#♡Laezel#♡fluff#shadowheart x reader#Shadowheart#karlach x reader#Karlach#astarion x reader#Astarion#minthara x reader#minthara baenre#gale x reader#gale dekarios#halsin x reader#Halsin#wyll x reader#wyll ravengard#laezel#laezel x reader#bg3 x reader#bg3 fluff#fluff#♡several characters
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helloo can i request a fic for introvert!reader with extrovert!remus lupin whos head over heels for her <3
yes u can darlin <3 🫧🫧 i sort of wrote this into a whole new story but i hope you like this one ☁️🌸🩷🤍
everytime
(remus lupin x reader)
contents : fem reader, toxic friendships, kissing, fluff !! not proofread
. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
the door slammed open, revealing three young witches with their hands full of shopping bags. you knew they were going to hogsmeade together, but a part of you wished they had invited you.
they're your roomates and friends.
you couldn't go as far as calling them your true friends because they don't involve you much in their group activities.
they go on picnics together, shopping for pretty dresses in hogsmeade, having brunch dates, going to the movies.
a part of you wished you're there, being together with them and just fitting in. but the other part of you were thankful as for they're not inviting you because you would feel left out anyways.
it was better to be left out, and only you know it, rather than being left out with other people knowing.
maybe it wasn't their fault. elina is pretty, smart, bright and outgoing. adrienne is cheerful, energetic, and sociable. cassie is ambitious, intelligent, and talkative. you laughed bitterly to yourself, realising that they all have similar traits- all really easy to talk to and would always have an on going conversation.
you couldn't even hold a conversation for more than four minutes. it feels like your fault now.
you sit alone the morning after. you usually sit with your 'friends' for breakfast, but you were hurt from yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. it was tiring, you needed break.
which caught the attention of a young gryffindor boy, sitting at the opposite end of the table.
remus lupin always thought you're the most beautiful person he ever saw. you two never talked, there's no reason to.
only his longing stares are the closest thing to interaction.
he thought you're beautiful. not the kind of beauty in magazines or billboards, but the kind of beauty that spreads through a field of mystical flowers. a kind that shines golden in daylight and a night fairy at late.
he saw the way you chew on your breakfast gloomily. he wondered why. you weren't spotted with your usual friends. you were just there. alone.
you would think of yourself as pathetic, but remus doesn't. he would never. he saw an angel-like soul that nobody's good enough to know. nobody's smart enough to notice.
he frowned when he saw you wiping away a tear before you got up, exiting the packed hall.
"frowning moony is not a safe moony," james said, quirking his eyebrows up.
"it's y/n, isn't it?" sirius questioned. the handsome man noticed how remus has been distracted from reality lately. he noticed how remus basically looks at you with heart eyes everytime.
"she looks sad today," remus noted, feeling an overwhelming sense of worry flooding him. it was funny to think about actually, you two never spoke a word to each other yet remus is worrying as if you're his.
"talk to her," james urged. "it's been- what was it? years of pining, you should make a move first because we all know she won't."
"i can't- y'know, my condition," remus huffed.
"she won't mind."
"how'd you know?"
"because- she is her...?" sirius said. "give it a try moony, if she doesn't love you with your condition then she doesn't deserve you, but if she does, it's worth it."
"right..."
that evening you sat down staring at an open window, catching your breath. you had been crying. you don't know why you're being so sensitive lately especially since your friends are always like this. why are you taking it so personal now?
you let the wind hit your face, drying your tears up with the cold breeze.
remus was on his nightly patrol around the castle. he's a prefect. that's how he heard a sniffle down the hall, his vision met with the most enchanting sight.
he walked slowly towards you, not wanting to scare. "hey... you alright?"
you turned around abruptly, wiping away the tears on your eyelashes. "i'm sorry for being out late."
"i'm not going to report you to professor mcgonagal, are you alright?" he asked once more.
"yeah, i'll be heading back to my dorm now," you collected yourself. the quiet footsteps didn't go unheard by you. remus was following you to the dorms.
"don't want filch to get you, i'll walk you there," he smiled a generous smile.
then silence fell between the two of you, only for remus to break it. "i know we're not friends but you can talk to me about it if you want, you can trust me," remus took hold of your upper arm, caressing it gently.
"thanks," was the only reply. you cringed at how short it sounded and he probably thinks you're rude and cold which is the opposite of who you are. your words aren't the best representation of yourself.
remus knew you were an introvert, hiding away from crowded rooms whenever you can. you never go to the parties his friends held. he knew you prefer reading to revelling.
he understands, he was once just like you. but with the help and support of his friends, he feels more comfortable in expressing himself now.
"will i see you tomorrow?" remus asked once you were inside the gryffindor common room.
"yeah, thank you- for not turning me in," you sent him an awkward smile.
the next day, you weren't in a better state either. you found out that cassie was talking horrible things about you with some slytherins. you weren't surprised. it was just your nature to constantly be disrespected by them.
remus saw you again that very day. your eyes were watery and your fingers were shaking.
he quickly ran up to you, his heart breaking into a million pieces. how dare someone did this to you?
"honey, you okay?" remus said, looking at you with the fondest eyes.
you almost cried again, hearing how someone actually asked you if you were okay. you shook your head in response.
"talk to me, we're friends," remus said softly. in reality, you two aren't technically friends. you only met face to face twice.
"we're friends?" you asked, feeling unsure.
"we are. from now on. now tell me who did this to you?"
"oh remus i can't," you shook your head.
"okay... but you can talk to me about anything okay? it doesn't have to be important. that's what friends are for," he smiled.
and oh when you smiled back, was like heaven to him. you looked like an ethereal angel with that divine smile and that archangelic face. he might as well fall in love right then and there.
the sparkles in your eyes that hold such loneliness and hope is what he calls beauty. the way you smiles even when you're sad just to assure him that you will be okay is heart warming. to him you weren't just beautiful for something as temporary as your face. you're beauty hides beneath that broken heart of yours, that delicate soul you have.
you opened up after a while, you feel you can trust remus. he is a calm and caring person. the way he asks 'how are you' every morning since. he wrapped his arm around your shoulder because he doesn't want to lose you in the sea of students. he cuts your breakfast so you can eat them easier. he reads to you softly when you cried again because of your friends.
he didn't know how much this has helped you to be okay again. how much you adored him for everything he does, even the questionable ones. you didn't care.
"rem, want to talk to you," you spoke, breaking his gaze from his book.
"i'm all ears, darling," he replied.
"you wanna know why i keep on crying?," you sniffed, ready to open up for the first time. "it's because- cause cassie, elina, and adrienne. they keep saying bad things about me- that you probably heard already. i used to always think we're friends, maybe not the kind like- you and me. but just friends... i guess. they keep leaving me out. it's like they don't even want me there." you were wiping tears away now, feeling unsure of yourself.
you never spoke of your feelings like this. never to anyone. how can remus made it so easy for you to be transparent to him?
"oh angel, they don't deserve you. they're too full of themselves to see how worthy you are. i think- i think you're the perfect just how you are. forget about them yeah? we will start a new beginning. you can come and sit with me from now on. no need to care about them. i will never make you sad, promise."
he pulled you to his chest, embracing you in a warm hug.
he made a promise to himself that every week, he will give you gifts and such to remind you how important you are. how much he loves and cares about you.
he couldn't let you waste your tears for your past friendship. remus treats you like a princess. he wants to make you smile. seeing you happy is what matters most because a dream girl should live in a dreamworld. and he made it a mission to make a perfect world for you.
he remembered you saying how those girls never invited you to picnics so here he is, inviting you to join the picnic he has set just for you and him.
"oh rem, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done!" you sighed, sitting yourself down on the carpet.
"it's nothing! you deserve it," he smiled proudly, pouring you and himself a cup of chamomile tea. your favourite.
there's something sparkling in your wrist. the shine of it glimmering under the perfect weather. you were wearing a bracelet remus gave to you a few days ago. a pretty silver chain with a moon and angel wings intertwined together.
when he first saw the jewelery on the display, it immediately reminded him of you so he just had to buy two of them. a matching bracelet.
god, nobody has ever even given you a friendship bracelet before.
he saw you, picking up the fresh strawberries with your delicate hands. 'what a dreamy girl' he thought 'and to have an angel like her to call my own'
he wanted to kiss you right there. everything was perfect at the moment. the soft honey rays of the sunshine warms the air surrounding the two of you, there's no reason for remus to scoot over closer to your figure. but he did anyways.
"i like a girl, no i actually love her," he started.
your heart sank, you thought maybe-just maybe remus is the one. he pulled you right out of misery in the best way.
remus saw your crestfallen expression, though he continued, "she makes my heart jump. she's the girl i've been in love with for a long time, i wanna go wherever she goes."
you forced a smile at him, munching on your strawberry that suddenly turned sour.
"she gets sad often, but that doesn't stop her from taking care of the people around her, and herself. she's smart and wise. she inspires me actually. everytime we say goodnight, i go to bed and sleep happily. dreaming of happy thoughts because when she's around, there's no negativity."
"i love her- y/n," he said, hinting at the way he emphasised your name.
"can i know who she is?" you asked shyly.
"can you guess?"
"i don't know..."
"well, i see her everytime," remus said, a smile playing on his lips.
"you see a lot of people everyday," you replied.
"i said everytime not everyday," he chuckled.
"that's not possible!"
"it is actually. i could never get tired of her. anyone is crazy if they do," he shook his head. "okay.. she smells like the most cosiest bakery in town."
"i don't think i know anyone that smells like a bakery."
"of course you don't, darling," remus said, cupping your cheeks. "'cause it's you. i'm in love with you,"
"wha- me?" you knitted your brows. he caressed them away.
"yes you, it's obvious actually. i thought you knew," remus chucked. "i don't have matching bracelets with anyone else, i never go on picnics, i never crochet someone a sweater before, i could go on but i want to hear what you have to say."
"i love you too, it's inevitable," you said, rubbing your cheeks further on his palms.
"can i kiss you?" he asked. he always considered himself a gentleman and he will be the most gentlemanly when it comes to you.
you responded with a soft nod, then he pressed his lips against yours. slowly but surely, he felt you melting in the kiss and god does that feel way more magical than the daydreams he had about this. his tongue manoeuvred its way inside your mouth, meeting yours in a soft touch that sent shivers down your spine. he loves the way you taste, licking the remnants of strawberry juice in your mouth.
he placed his hand on the back of your head while the other wrapped itself around waist, making you impossibly closer to him.
you didn't know how long that lasted but when you pulled away, the both of your cheeks were bright red and the smiles couldn't be wiped away.
#remus lupin x reader#character x you#x reader#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin x reader fluff
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i see all these comments talking about this after the new episode, but. i would like to state for the record that stolitz isn't. toxic.
first off, the concept of a toxic and a healthy relationship are such... vague terms. when you're online, drenched in language and tight moral boundaries, trying to put a nuanced story like helluva boss's into boxes is easy to attempt and impossible to do.
a toxic relationship is one where one or both parties is maliciously affecting the other. I'm talking fetid, nasty, rude interactions where there is more hurt than love. they're unhappy more often than not when they're with their partner, there's no respect or give from the other side.
stolitz is nothing like that.
Stolas actively cares about Blitz and actually has no fear or hesitation in ADMITTING IT OUT LOUD TO OZZIE. he has been calling, texting, commenting, laughing and finding ways to spend time with Blitz. he's throwing everything he has to the wind, finding the courage to move forward with the divorce, putting everything he has into trying to keep him. he's been alone in a palace since he was born, on medication, with such less people dear to him that he remembered the circus boy who spent a day with him DECADES ago- so when blitz comes into his life and brings back in laughter and color and sex, he's holding on with everything he's got.
and blitz does care!!! he cares a LOT, the whole series we see him falling in love with stolas through SHOW NOT TELL (his expressions, his choices, his fear, his lashing out) and utterly unable to process that stolas cares about him too when talking to fizz; almost a desperate kind of denial-
cause yknow. the first time he tried to confess something to someone he really liked, he accidentally killed half the people he knew and ruined the lives of the rest?
thats gonna leave just a teensy impact on the will to express your emotions in the future, methinks.
even before that, he clearly felt like on some level that he was unworthy and he's said twice that he despises himself for the accident even though it wasn't actually his fault. being self aware doesn't stop the emotions from emotioning.
he keeps insisting its only sex so urgently to anyone who doesn't ask because he can't even imagine it being anything else. he's both disappointed and relieved when he repeats that stolas sees him as a novelty, because what else can it be?
(there's a whole other spiel of how brave both Stolas and Blitz have to be to say it out loud even when asmodeus can't afford to, considering how publically and completely beaten down both were at the club.)
(there's also another whole spiel about how frustrating it has been for ME to see all these comments over time with such bad takes based on like,, 20 min worth of info of a show that takes months to release an ep. like godDAMN have some patience?? let the story UNFOLD MAYBE? IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE AN EXPLANATION WHY WOULD YOU CRITICIZE THINGS THAT ARENT EVEN FINISHED ESPECIALLY AN INDIE ANIMATION- i digress)
mind you, this has NOTHING to do with abuse. an abusive relationship is one where one is actively harming the other with full awareness. Stella is an abuser and their marriage is abusive.
and stolitz isn't that; it isn't even unhealthy or toxic. it's a consensual, transactional fuckbuddy relationship that slid into something more for both of them.
but!!!!! one of the main reasons for the problems that everyone looks over is-
they're in a BDSM relationship.
I can't possibly delve into dynamics without making this a 10k research paper BUT even though we've gotten only hints and costumes and dialogue- they're very clearly and undeniably in a BDSM contract. Behind the scenes of this crazy show is a whole different story, of these two delving into the most hardcore kinks out there- knifeplay, painplay, bondage.
if you've gotten into the community, if you've read a couple dozen particularly good fics by authors who know what they're talking about, hell; even if your only experience is fifty shades or 365 or whatever- you gotta know that BDSM scenes are crazy fucking emotionally heavy. there's so much that has gone down between them during their full moons that helluva can't get into!!
but you know how in so many of these popular medias and fics, the dom in the relationship is also like,, the billionaire/mafia heir/prince, etc, the one with financial and physical power? this isnt that. it has been very clearly stated that stolas is subbing, blitz is domming.
now take a moment and think about how much that fucks up the dynamics.
in stolas' eyes, blitz is a confident, dangerous individual who's an old friend and cherished memory of his, who he's trusted wholly with his safety during sex and he's lucky to have; and he has been in an abusive arranged marriage for the past eighteen Years, he's probably not going to be pushing his luck with his dom that much in the first place. plus, blitz is never cowed by him during their conversations- think back to the first phone call right after he stole the book, completely unafraid.
and for blitz, it's someone trusting him again- but it's also a royal- a blue blood who's nearly untouchable and so much more powerful- who couldn't possibly like a piece of shit like him, apart from the sex he gets out of it. he only flirts once he gets some sort of cue from Stolas; he's desperately trying to view this as only a Goetia trying to get his rocks off, despite all the evidence to the contrary, because anything else is unfathomable to him, no matter how clearly Stolas shows it, because of the ptsd.
both of them thinks the other has the power. both of them aren't expecting the other to keep shut if something's bothering them.
and there's so much conflicting messages from the other too!
stolas calls him a plaything when trying to intimidate the humans; stolas cups his face gently and asks if he's alright
blitz asks him on a date and tells him to get better soon; blitz yells that it's only sex and doesn't reply to his messages
ya see?
bring it to fizzozzie for a second now; even though they do look all good on surface, you can still see fizz's trauma and doubt in all their interactions, they're still forced to keep the relationship secret. do you see his face when Ozzie says in hyperbole that he's never leaving the house again, or when someone accuses him of being a pampered house pet or when he got sexualized in the 7th ep? whatever happened in the interim between the accident with mammon, it fucked him UP. even though oz seems to be well aware of this when he tells him not to apologise and in their general interactions, fizz still visibly has trouble separating plaything/commodity from healthy relationship.
shout the fuck out to Ozzie btw, man knows whats UP. rooting for these two so much omg.
i forgot where I was going with this point, I'll edit it when i remember. but yeah! lovely fucking relationship, but damn what angst filled issues.
anyway, to sum up- stolitz is not a toxic relationship. the relationship is stuck sludging through misunderstandings and careless microaggressions and trauma responses, but it's not unhealthy or toxic because of the simple reason that most of the current hurt comes from... a misunderstanding. stolas didn't realise blitz would need reassurance about what they were and blitz didn't see stolas as someone who could get hurt.
unecessarily calling it toxic, even online, is more impactful than people think too. almost all spindlehorse ARE on all social medias; so MANY YouTube animators i know have found jobs there; they see your words, especially since a lot don't tag posts with "anti hb" correctly to keep them out of the main tag. there are Very few queer medias made BY queer people that haven't gone through heavy corporate revisions- helluva boss is practically a historical landmark in its success. it's very very very fucking easy to forget that not ten years ago some of the only queer videos on YouTube were butter lover (one kiss at the end post credits), dirty paws and welcome to hell (subtext).
the amount of "critical talk" helluva boss gets for what it is is very unprecedented. it's a beautiful show. can't wait for the next episode.
#helluva boss#stolas#blitz#stolitz#fizzarolli#helluva boss ozzie#okay im gonna make SO much content but i had to get this off my chest first#because so many people were like omg fizzozzie is so healthy stolitz take a lesson!!#and theres so much more nuance to it thats its so. frustrating to see a statement like that#meta#anyways#i love this fucjing show
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One of the main reasons I've been so fond of Otasune since I first knew it was a thing was because I think they're genuinely one of the purest forms of love in Metal Gear.
Throughout the series we see horrible relationships between horrible people trying to get by and then that relationship gets dragged through the awful scenarios they live with, be it war, internal struggles, infidelity etc. Despite this common place struggle with so many other characters, we see Otacon and Snake steadfast loyal and healthy throughout every struggle they go through.
They may not be an official couple, but they will always stay the most communicative relationship even outside of shipping. I see people joke about how Otacon kind of bosses Snake around (especially in MGS4), but I always saw it as refreshing. In the series, there is so many times where x character does something horrendous and y character just sits aside and silently sulks about it.
But this doesn't happen, like at all, with Dave and Hal. There are many times where Snake doesn't think about consequences to his actions as a general rule of soldier, however Hal has never been a soldier. So when these things happen, Otacon tells him off and it's something Snake genuinely needs to hear. It's something human, away from combat. Because Otacon is one of the very few characters that talks to Snake as a person, as a human, not as a soldier or fucked up clone baby.
Snake has gone his whole life scrapping the bottom of the barrel to stop feeling so lonely, he flirts with every woman he sees, he attaches himself very easily onto superiors, etc. Snake is a man who has spent his whole life trying to appeal to people, to get the praise he was never allowed as a child. Otacon gives him the comfort he never got. While any military superior can say Dave is the best of the best. None will look him in the face and tell him he has to live to just live.
Hal also opens a lot of doors to Snake's own discovery about himself. While this next point might sound a little cringy, stick with me. People may joke about the anime interest Snake and Otacon share, but it always came across so genuinely sweet to me. Snake's only interests up until he met Otacon have been, stop feeling lonely and war. I think even part of his musher life and interests within sledding can contribute to part of this. I mean come on, not even a regular musher keeps 50 dogs in their house and dogs are a natural remedy to loneliness. But in all seriousness, David refers to the huskies as his only family and I don't see him connecting with any other mushers he works with, it reads as him wanting to not be alone while also still being so lonely. As well as how mushing is considered a more normal interest than being an otaku, especially in the early 2000s. Mushing is a sport, and being an Otaku was pretty much unheard of or hated. Watching this guy who has been stuffed full of war propaganda scream a dorky "falcon punch" and "ninjutsu" with his best friend is so heartwarming in a way.
As well as Otacon's whole meme turned question of "do you think love can bloom on the battlefield?" Is something that I think Snake needed to be asked. It's probably been something he's been thinking about. It is also one of the most human things Snake asked throughout the game. About finding love in fear. Otacon constantly prods into Snake's heart and brings out the good in him.
Not only does Hal open up a space for Snake to have genuine unashamed interests and show true pure humanity. He also shows off their childhood. Both Hal and David never got proper childhoods. They connect that with each other through cheesy animes, talking about uncertainty in love, finding out what life is all about, navigating feelings, and through that damn cheesy handshake hug. It's all genuinely pure and wholesome love that connects what they didn't get to explore in childhood with one another. When Snake opened that piss covered locker and saved Otacon, he brought his own salvation into his life without knowing it. The very presence of Otacon saved Snake. It's why MGS4 felt so depressing for me especially, the strain between Snake and Otacon left a hole in my little heart and made Snake feel even more hopeless.
I also want to talk about how Snake benefited Otacon.
Otacon begins as cowardly and timid, he's an incredibly insecure character that struggles to connect with others, probably stemming from the issues in his younger life. When he meets Snake, he's faced with someone he could relate to that has an outward appearance that makes him seem so much more confident than he is. Snake is not this, he's as insecure as Otacon. Indirectly, Snake is the whole reason Otacon gets on his feet to take action against terrorism, takes action to become a better person. Snake shows Hal that he doesn't haven't to be strong to do the right thing. Throughout time, Snake helps Otacon come to terms with his own self worth and issues.
In MGS2, it has one of my favorite examples. The infamous bro hug scene.
Before it, this is when Otacon allows himself to open up about his childhood, not even just Infront of Snake, Infront of Raiden too. This showcased such a development in his character because he's proudly talking about it, while even through tears he doesn't hide it anymore.
Did you know that during that scene if you pan the camera to Snake, you can see that he is crying too?
When Hal has a breakdown over his sister's death, Snake is there to comfort him as well as tell him how it is in bluntness with a hand on his back that he needs to save people. It isn't cold or callous, it's letting Otacon know that he has something worth fighting for after a loss like that. Then when they face one another, they embrace each other and Snake tells Hal that he believes in him. Hal spent a lot of time as a scientist, hoping for someone to believe in him, while Snake puts all of his belief into Hal.
I can never forget the iconic "You're the only god I can pray to, Otacon" line. Snake has a deep loyalty, love, and belief in Otacon that Otacon has never been truly given before.
They both, in turn love each other till the end of their lives. Their love was one of the most heart wrenching and beautiful things in Metal Gear Solid and it's no surprise it captivated so many people. Their relationship, whether you ship them or just see them as a bromance. There is no denying the love they feel for one another as friends or lovers is one of the most iconic and sweetest bromances out theres They have impacted so much pop culture and I love them forever, as I'm sure many of you do who read all the way to the bottom.
#mgs#otasune#metal gear solid#solid snake#otacon#hal emmerich#little sappy post sorry guys i love them
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Hihii...!!! i really love ur HCs and i wanted to ask if you're comfortable with these types of character writing, what r ur headcanons on kenma, kuro, tsuki n maybe suna would act when they're drunk ? like would they be a bit different than their usual self ? sorry to ask a lot but im more curious on ur thoughts on kenma ;; .. write whatever u can, idm ! thank u ehehe have a good one ! >_< <3
" LET'S GET DRUNK! "
summary. they’re drunk lolz
characters. kenma, kuroo, tsukishima
warnings. afab!reader, drinking/alcohol, post timeskip!!!^^
a/n. yesss i love kenma, many thoughts on him!! he’s my favorite!!! didn’t add suna because i don’t really know his character that well :( added a kenma bonus to make up for it tho!
KENMA
☆ i think he’d be a sleepy drunk. he's out as soon as his head hits any soft surface— maybe even before! i feel like he also acts grumpier, mumbling complaints when you wake him up and try to move him (he was passed out on your shoulder in the car, you have to get him to bed!)
☆ his face gets kinda pink, like he’s blushing. he’s pale, so it’s more noticeable than it would be on someone else. his eyes get droopy and his face sort of relaxes, so he looks mean and tired.
☆ he stubbles slightly, but he surprisingly manages to maneuver himself pretty well for a drunk person. just don’t ask him to do a cartwheel or anything… he couldn’t even do one of those while sober.
☆ he doesn’t drink often, so he’s a light weight… plus he’s skinny and on the smaller side, so he doesn’t have to drink much to get a buzz. he’s usually responsible though, but sometimes he celebrates too hard (with a bit of a push from kuroo)
☆ he doesn’t get any more talkative, but he’s less filtered that normal. i don’t think he’d be too flirty or mean, but if he got drunk enough he may compliment you a couple times.
BONUS:
☆ the type to get so drunk he forgets who you are. you come find him to pick him up after someone called you, and he’s face down on the table. you nudge him, trying to gently guide him to stand, but he’s immediately swatting you away, grumbling about how he has a girlfriend.
"leave m' alone— got a girlfriend already," he slurs, raising his head to drunkenly glare at you. his eyes narrow further when you laugh.
"kenma… i’m you’re girlfriend," you tell him, always finding it a bit amusing when he gets this drunk. he’s not too much of a hassle though, since he usually knocks right out when you get home and tuck him in.
he's silent for a moment, just staring at you up and down. he wears the same expression he has whenever he buys a new video game, excited and in awe.
"really…?" he asks, a hopeful tone in his voice. now that he’s looking at you… you are really pretty. he really hopes you're his girlfriend.
"yes, really. i’m gonna take you home, okay? cmon," you urge, gently grabbing his arm and helping him stand. he complies this time, his eyebrows raising.
"we live together?" he questions, the situation just getting better and better to him.
"we do," you confirm, another giggle leaving you. it doesn’t really hurt your feelings that he doesn’t remember, you find it more amusing and entertaining than anything.
"… im so lucky," you hear him whisper under his breath, looking at you as you guide him to the car.
KUROO
☆ he'd be a funny drunk i think… a bit of a handful, and is entertaining at first, but eventually gets annoying. his emotions kind of double when he’s intoxicated, and he’s also kind of erratic. really energetic after his first few drinks, but if he’s extra drunk, he’s more emotional.
☆ his eyes get a little watery, but that’s about it. he actually looks more lively while he’s drunk, because he makes more facial expressions.
☆ he can’t stand straight at all, especially if he’s had more than a couple drinks. needs support to walk, otherwise he'll fall. he’s heavy though, and puts majority of his weight on you, so sometimes you end up falling anyway.
☆ he can handle his alcohol pretty well. takes him a few drinks to get a buzz, but he doesn’t usually stop there. mostly drinks to celebrate things, or at parties. never drinks alone, that’s just boring and sad to him.
☆ probably asks you random stupid questions like "what number am i?" or "what animal would i be?" (follows up that second question with "would you still love me if i was that animal?")
☆ i think he’s more talkative, but he speaks faster and his words are kinda jumbled, so it’s hard to understand him sometimes. he gets a lot more sappy, constantly complimenting you and telling you that he loves you (he does that all the time already)
"y're sooo pretty, love you s' much."
TSUKISHIMA
☆ not that much different than when he’s sober, honestly. he gets more mellow, surprisingly, though it might be because alcohol makes him a little sleepy, similar to kenma. he isn’t quick to fall asleep, but he’s not energetic and jumping around.
☆ his face is more relaxed, which makes him look even more intimidating and mean. his eyes get a little red around the edges, but that’s mostly it.
☆ stubbles quite a bit and holds things for support. if you try to help him, he’ll snip and you and complain that he doesn’t need your help to walk. (he does, and eventually gives in and leans on you a bit when he almost falls on his face)
☆ also a lightweight. doesn’t go drinking unless he’s invited, and even then he’s usually the designated driver. on top of that, he hates being hung over, and he hates throwing up, so he rarely gets super drunk. kuroo tries to persuade him sometimes, but the most he gets his a little tipsy.
☆ probably gets into debates with people about certain topics that he likes, arguing with them about facts and opinions. he usually wins. even when he’s drunk, he’s still quick witted.
☆ he fights you on everything, insisting he’s fine and "not drunk" whenever you try to help him. you end up ignoring his complaints and just assist him with changing and getting into bed anyway. he’s asleep pretty quickly, especially if you run his back/scalp.
"i don’t need help— i'm not even that drunk!"
#x reader#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x reader#kenma x you#kenma x y/n#kenma hcs#kenma drabble#kenma headcanons#kenma fluff#kenma x reader#kuroo x reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#kuroo x you#kuroo x y/n#kuroo fluff#kuroo headcanons#kuroo drabble#kuroo hcs#tsukishima hcs#tsukishima x you#tsukishima x y/n#tsukishima fluff#tsukishima x reader#tsukki headcanons#tsukishima kei#kenma kuzome#kuroo tetsurou#taintedtort#tortrequests
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