Ha-naga

Image © Bad Moon Art Studio, accessed at their gallery here

[Sponsored by @justicegundam82, who's been having me convert monsters from both Epic Level Handbook and Serpent Kingdoms for a while. And this one is from both! I do find it interesting that the greatest of the nagas, rather than being neutral or being posited as an ancestor or patron to all nagas, is explicitly chaotic evil. I'm going to be working this into the Age of Monsters/Great Game stuff, believe me. Also, thanks to this excellent art, I gave my version both disintegrate and Still Spell]

Ha-Naga CR 20 CE Aberration This human-headed serpent is enormous, its head the size of an entire human, and its body as long as a caravel. Its scales shimmer in color but default to a pearlescent white.

Ha-nagas are the most powerful and magically gifted of the naga lineages. It is a shame, therefore, that they are universally evil. Every ha-naga is self-absorbed to the point of megalomania, and they respect nothing else besides the gods, and even those only grudgingly. Most ha-nagas like to view themselves as divine incarnations, extinction level events, civilization destroyers, and other over the top entities. They have the power to back these claims up on a practical level. Spirit nagas view ha-nagas with a combination of envy and awe, and most ha-nagas have one or more nests of spirit naga minions.

In combat, a ha-naga would rather avoid violence altogether with its mesmerizing gaze. Most ha-nagas have charmed victims to slow down dedicated enemies with, and they do not hesitate to allow said charmed victims to be slain in its stead. If a ha-naga’s mind-controlled allies turn on it, they merely become additional targets for its spells. Ha-nagas tend to like big flashy spells that deal damage over a wide area, and then focus fire on any healers or fellow casters left standing. If they are allowed the freedom of an open-air location for combat, they take to the skies, flying gracefully like a snake swimming through water. Their slam attack is a grasping loop of their coils, and their stings contain venom that causes flesh to decompose within seconds.

Ha-nagas are enormous, and as such require enormous lairs. Abandoned and ruined cities are a favorite, with the ha-naga nesting inside of a temple complex, coliseum or other monumental building. They are very tactile creatures, and often sleep on mounds of treasure in the way that dragons do. Dragons are the only creatures ha-nagas feel remotely threatened by, and some ha-nagas make a habit of eliminating all of the dragons within a comfortable radius of their lairs (and stealing their hoards) before settling down in a location for good.

A ha-naga is about 100 feet long. Their lifespans are best measured in centuries, and a ha-naga can survive two or three millennia if not slain in combat.

Ha-Naga CR 20 XP 307,200 CE Colossal aberration (evil) Init +12; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +36, scent Defense AC 34, touch 14, flat-footed 22 (-8 size, +12 Dex, +20 natural) hp 372 (24d8+264) Fort +19, Ref +22, Will +23 DR 20/good; Immune charms, compulsion effects; SR 31 Weakness corrupted Offense Speed 60 ft., fly 120 ft. (perfect) Melee slam +22 (4d6+9 plus grab), sting +22 (2d8+9 plus poison), bite +22 (4d4+9) Space 30 ft.; Reach 20 ft. Special Attacks charming gaze, constrict (4d6+13) Spells CL 19th, concentration +30 9th (5/day)—meteor swarm (DC 30), wail of the banshee (DC 30) 8th (7/day)—fire storm (DC 29), horrid wilting (DC 29), power word stun 7th (8/day)—greater arcane sight, greater teleport, regenerate 6th (8/day)—disintegrate (DC 27), greater heroism, heal (DC 27) 5th (8/day)—baleful polymorph (DC 26), cone of cold (DC 26), nightmare (DC 26), wall of force (DC 26) 4th (8/day)—cure critical wounds (DC 25), divine power, freedom of movement, scrying (DC 25) 3rd (9/day)—dispel magic, displacement, lightning bolt (DC 24), slow (DC 24) 2nd (9/day)—alter self, mirror image, resist energy, scorching ray, spiritual weapon 1st (9/day)—cure light wounds (DC 22), identify, mage armor, magic missile, shield of faith 0th—bleed (DC 21), detect magic, ghost sound (DC 21), light, mage hand, message, read magic, stabilize, touch of fatigue (DC 21) Statistics Str 28, Dex 34, Con 32, Int 31, Wis 29, Cha 33 Base Atk +18; CMB +38 (+42 grapple); CMD 58 (cannot be tripped) Feats Agile Maneuvers, Arcane Strike, Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Empower Spell, Eschew Materials (B), Extend Spell, Flyby Attack, Lightning Reflexes, Quicken Spell, Skill Focus (Stealth), Still Spell, Weapon Finesse Skills Acrobatics +39 (+51 when jumping), Bluff +35, Diplomacy +35, Fly +39, Intimidate +38, Knowledge (arcana, dungeoneering, planes) +34, Knowledge (history) +37, Perception +36, Sense Motive +33, Spellcraft +37, Stealth +41, Survival +36; Racial Modifiers +12 Stealth Languages Abyssal, Aklo, Common, Draconic, Senzar, Undercommon SQ camouflage, compression, flight, metamagic mastery Ecology Environment any land or underground Organization solitary Treasure double standard Special Abilities Camouflage (Ex) A ha-naga gains a +12 racial bonus on Stealth checks. It does not need cover or concealment to make Stealth checks. Charming Gaze (Su) Range 60 ft.; effect charmed (as per charm monster) for 20 days; save Will DC 31. The save DC is Charisma based and includes a -2 racial penalty. Corrupted (Ex) A ha-naga is treated as an outsider with the evil subtype, as well as its actual type, for spells and abilities affected by creature type. Flight (Su) The fly speed of a ha-naga is a supernatural ability. Metamagic Mastery (Su) A ha-naga does not need to increase the casting time of a spontaneous spell in order to modify that spell with its metamagic feats. Poison (Ex) Sting—injury; save Fort DC 33; duration 1/round for 6 rounds; effect 1d8 Con damage; cure 2 consecutive saves. The save DC is Constitution based. Spells A ha-naga can cast spells as a 19th level sorcerer. It treats spells from the cleric spell list as being on the sorcerer/wizard list. It does not gain any of the other class abilities of a sorcerer, such as a bloodline.

My favorite kind of D&D content is the stuff that even the small minority of players who run the sort of campaigns where that sort of thing could feasibly come into play are still extremely unlikely to encounter it.

The kind of thing that even players with decades long campaigns featuring level 40+ characters who use Elminster as a glorified punching bag and regularly take their pet tarrasques for walkies in the Far Realm are unlikely to ever encounter.

One example of this is the Epic Dragon. Back in 3rd edition there was a type of dragon called Epic Dragons (introduced in the Epic Level Handbook) who were to regular dragons as dragons were to most regular monsters. Even their wyrmlings could kick the shit out of most regular dragons and even newborn they had many of the powers other dragons wouldn’t get until later in life like fear auras and sorcerer spells.

Originally there were only two kinds of Epic Dragons, the Force Dragon, and the Prismatic Dragon. The Prismatic Dragon tops out at a staggering 66 CR while the Force Dragon barely reaches a pathetic 59 CR.

But both of these guys are chumps compared to the Time Dragon.

Introduced in an issue of Dragon Magazine, the Time Dragon can have a CR as high as 90. They are born immortal, can travel forward and backwards through time after some time preparing, and older Time Dragons have the ability to cast Time Stop at will every single round.

Time Dragons make their lairs at either the very beginning or the very end of time. They only hang out with gods and other immortals. One of them could solo the entire titular cast of Elder Evils at once. The time it takes for them to grow into the next age category is randomly determined for each dragon and can take anywhere from a few minutes to multiple centuries. They also love collecting clocks.

You can read about them here.

I'd be surprised if they ever appeared in a campaign for any reason besides the DM wanting to show off this cool dragon they found. (which is a pretty good reason to put a dragon in your campaign I'll admit).

ROUND 1: PART 1

Propaganda under cut

Prismatic Dragon

● Look at it. Rainbow dragon with bisexual lighting!

Imperialdramon

● Literally a fusion of two male presenting digimon and are partners with two humans who are a very popular gay ship in the digimon fandom. Imperialdramon has two modes: Fighter mode and DRAGON mode. Even in both forms they are still a part of the Dragon’s Roar field, so they’re a dragon regardless of mode.

In certain continuities they are the founder of a group of Digimon called the royal knights, whose job is to protect the digital world, and said members include: the very fruity LordKnightmon/Crusadermon, the he/she/they legend Alphamon, the bara hero Gankoomon, Examon who is too big to process on certain computers, and more.

The Lightning Scene, How Azula Targeted Katara (of All People), and the Doylist Reason Why That Matters

Mention Zuko's sacrifice for Katara in Sozin's Comet Part 3 as part of a pro-Zutara talking point, and invariably you'll get a Pavlovian response of:

"But Zuko would have taken the lightning for anyone."

(Not to be confused with the similar-sounding Pavlovan response, which is "Zuko's sacrifice ain't shit compared to a mouth-watering, strawberry-topped meringue dessert"*, which is actually the only valid counter-argument to how the lightning scene is a bona fide Zutara treasure, but I digress.)

Now, I've talked in depth about how the lightning scene is framed far more romantically than it had any right to be, regardless of how you might interpret the subject on paper; this is an argument which I still stand by 100%. That Zuko would have gotten barbecued for anyone, and that he was at the stage of his arc where his royal kebab-ness represented his final act of redemption, doesn't change the fact that the animators/soundtrack artists decided to pull out all the stops with making this scene hit romantic film tropes bingo by the time it played out on screen.

(I mean, we stan.)

There's also a deeper level to this conundrum, a layer which creeps up on you when you're standing in your kitchen at night, the fridge door open in front of you, your hungry, sleep-deprived brain trying to decide on what to grab for a midnight snack, and quite inexcusably you're struck with the question: Okay, Zuko may indeed have taken the lightning for just anyone, but would Azula have shot the lightning at just anyone?

But there's yet a deeper layer to this question, that I don't recall ever seeing anyone discuss (though if somebody has, mea culpa). And that is: would you have written Zuko taking the lightning for anyone else?

Or in other words, who Zuko would have taken the lightning for is the wrong question to be asking; the question we ought to be asking is who Zuko should have taken the lightning for, instead.

Get your pens out, your Doylist hats on, and turn to page 394. It's time to think like an author for a hot minute.

(If you don't know what I mean by Watsonian vs. Doylist analyses, and/or if you need a refresher course, go have a skim of the first section of this 'ere post and then scoot your ass back to this one.)

So. You're the author. You've written almost the entirety of an animated series (look at you!!) and now you're at the climax, which you've decided is going to be an epic, hero-villain showdown. Classic. Unlike previous battles between these two characters, your hero is going to have a significant advantage in this fight - partly due to his own development as a hero at the height of his strength and moral conviction, and partly because your villain has gone through a bit of a Britney Spears 2007 fiasco, and isn't quite at the top of her game here. If things keep going at this pace, your hero is going to win the fight fairly easily - actually, maybe even too easily. That's okay though, you're a talented writer and you know just what will raise the stakes and give the audience a well-timed "oh shit" moment: you're going to have the villain suddenly switch targets and aim for somebody else. The hero will be thrown off his groove, the villain will gain the upper hand, the turns will have indubitably tabled. Villains playing dirty is the number 1 rule in every villain handbook after all, and each of the last two times your hero's braved this sort of fight he's faced an opponent who ended up fighting dishonourably, so you've got a lovely Rule of Three perfectly lined up for the taking. Impeccable. The warm glow of triumph shines upon you, cherubs sing, your English teachers clap and shed tears of pride. (Except for that one teacher you had in year 8 who hated everybody, but she's a right bitch and we're not talking about her today.)

Now here's the thing: your hero is a hero. Maybe he wasn't always a hero, but he certainly is one now. If the villain goes after an innocent third party, there's basically no-one your hero wouldn't sacrifice himself for. He's a hero! Heroes do be like that, it's kind of their thing. The villain could shoot a bolt of lightning at Bildad the Shuhite, and the only thing that'd stop our boy Redeemed Paladin Bravesoul McGee from shielding his foxy ass is the fact that Bildad the Shuhite has the audacity to exist in a totally different show (disgusten.)

But. You're holding the writer's pen. Minus crossover shenanigans you don't have the licensing or time-travel technology to achieve, you have full control over how this scene plays out. You get to decide which character to target to deliver the greatest emotional impact, the juiciest angst, the most powerful cinematic suspense. You get to decide whose life you'll put at risk, to make this scene the most intense spine-chilling heart-stopper it can possibly be.

This is the climax we're talking about, after all - now is not the time to go easy on the drama.

So.

Do you make the villain target just anyone?

Or do you make the villain target someone the hero cares about?

Perhaps, someone he cares about... a lot?

Maybe even, someone he cares about... more than anybody else?

You are the author. You are the God of this universe. You get to choose.

What would deliver the strongest punch?

If you happen to make the inadvisable decision of browsing through these tropes on TV tropes, aside from wasting the rest of your afternoon (you're welcome), you'll find that the examples listed are littered with threatened and dead love interests, and, well, there's a reason for that. For better or worse, romantic love is often portrayed by authors, and perceived by audiences, as a "true" form of love (often even, "the" true form of love). Which is responsible for the other is a chicken/egg situation, one I'm not going to go into for this post - and while I'm certainly not here to defend this perspective as objectively good, I do think it's worth acknowledging that it not only exists but is culturally rather ubiquitous. (If you're playing the love interest in a story with a hero v. a villain, you might wanna watch your back, is what I'm saying.)

Regardless of whether the vibe you're aiming for is romantic or platonic however, one thing is for certain: if you want maximum oomph, the way to achieve that is by making the villain go after the player whose death would hit the hero the hardest.

And like I said, this doesn't have to be played romantically (although it so often is). There are platonic examples in those trope pages, though it's also important to note that many of the platonic ones do show up in stories where a love interest isn't depicted/available/there's a strong "bromance" element/the hero is low-key ace - and keep in mind too that going that route sometimes runs a related risk of falling into queer-bait territory *coughJohnLockcough*

That said, if there is a canon love-interest available, one who's confessed her love for the hero, one who has since been imprisoned by the villain, one who can easily be written as being at the villain's disposal, and who could quite conveniently be whipped out for a mid-battle surprise round - you might find you have some explaining to do if you choose to wield your authorly powers to have the villain go after... idk, some other sheila instead.

(The fact that this ends up taking the hero out of the fight, and the person he sacrifices himself for subsequently throws herself into the arena risking life and limb to defeat the villain and rescue her saviour, also means the most satisfying way this plays out, narratively speaking, is if both of these characters happen to be the most important person in each other's lives - at least, as of that moment, anyway - but I think this post has gone on long enough, lol)

This is, by and large, a rebuttal post more than anything else, but the tl;dr here is - regardless of whether you want to read the scene as shippy or not, to downplay Zuko's sacrifice for Katara specifically as "not that deep™" because "Zuko would have taken the lightning for anyone anyway", suggests either that a) nobody should be reading into the implications of Katara being chosen as the person nearest and dearest to Zuko, so that putting her life in jeopardy can deliver the most powerful impact possible for an audience you'd bloody well hope are on the edge of their seats during the climax of your story or b) the writers made the inexplicable decision of having the villain threaten the life of... literally who the fuck ever, and ultimately landed on someone who's actually not all that important to the hero in the grand scheme of things - which is a cardinal writing sin if I ever saw one (even disregarding the Choice to then season it with mood lighting and sad violin music, on top of it all), and altogether something I'd be legitimately pissed about if my Zuko-OTP ship paired him with Mai, Sokka, or just about anybody else 😂

Most importantly c) I'm hungry, and I want snacks.

*The Aussies in the fandom will get this one. Everyone else can suffer in united confusion.

This could potentially be big. Screenshots from someone in a Facebook group providing his professionally-affected opinion:

Basically, if any of this is true, you could expect Paizo et al to sue WotC/Hasbro. I would love to see that happen, personally, but it all depends on how likely any of the above actually is to work. Like, if 5.5/6e turns out to be as crappy as 4e was, this will just be WotC shooting itself in the foot again (though probably not enough to kill it). So far, I've only heard good things mechanically and bad things for the playerbase, but they have all been vague suggestions with no concrete details.

A Concrete Example

The Hypertext d20 SRD was constructed under 3.5 as exactly what its name suggests: a self-interlinked reference document for everything in the system. Prior to its existence, the SRD was a collection of (possibly rich) text documents without page numbers or other means of easy reference. The Hypertext SRD included all OGL material from print sources it could find, so includes ~85% of the Player's Handbook, Dungeon Master's Guide, Monster Manual, Expanded Psionics Handbook, Epic Level Handbook, Arcana Unearthed, and some bits from Deities & Demigods. It has other useful tools, like an encounter calculator and spell search. For the longest time, it was the only thing like it. Other sites (DnD Tools, Forgotten Realms Helps) eventually sprang up with more content; DnD Tools has been taken down numerous times for violating the OGL, while Realms Helps has stayed under the radar for some reason.

At some point, the d20srd webmaster updated it to include Pathfinder (seemingly all, but arranged by book like how Paizo's PRD was, which is deeply unhelpful) and some 5e (limited entirely to the core three books). This was long after d20pfsrd launched; that site is modeled off of the 3.5 d20srd site in organization and is amazeballs.

Since this webmaster has published 5e material on this site and since the new OGL possibly interprets that as accepting its terms, if this new OGL were legal, he could be sued to take down his entire site (or at least the perennially helpful portions) because it is no longer valid. (Per the screenshots, this is only half hypothetical: I know WotC did do this when 4e came out to fanpages that had 3.5 and 4e material because they didn't want competition from their own product.) This would leave only unauthorized (DnD Tools) or status unclear (Forgotten Realms Helps) archives. We've already lost reams of 3.5 material because WotC deleted its 3rd ed. archives (they used to publish stuff online regularly).

It'll still be a few months, gotta finish this tournament after all, but I want time to prep. Monsters of the Multiverse is just Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes and Volo's Guide combined, usually even using the same art which is why they aren't there. Though I did scan them for differences, and will post both book's art on the rare occasion they differ. If something laser-focused like Fizban's Dragons or Bigby's Giants wins I'm swapping between it and something else. Maybe every other week, maybe a weekday/weekend scenario, but I don't want to do just one monster for a couple months. If this changes your vote but you clicked before you read, just let me know in a comment or ask and I'll change it after the poll ends. ...and yes, the PF2e Bestiary has more eligible creatures than that stat wise, but I can only use the creatures with a picture. Leaves out some elementals :/

Ep. 14 "Flash Strike" Review

Wow this is way late. First off, I loved the animation and it looked genuinely real at times. TBB is to date the best looking animated show (not counting the "Tales" shorts). Those jungle shots were stunning. And the music! The music in the beginning was epic and it got my heart racing.

Spoilers below just in case

Rampart is just the gift that keeps on giving. Seriously, what was that scream? I was dying laughing 😂. He once again provides the comedy in these dire hours. However, his conversation with Crosshair was intense. I've already covered it, but basically: Rampart doesn't understand how some people can change. And ofc he was the one to mess everything up. Classic Rampart. Also, please Cross, you don't have to prove anything to Rampart. I get you're concerned that the man vanished, but the loser can take care of himself.

I did love watching the brothers fight side by side as usual. When Wrecker got thrown by the dryax, my heart melted when Cross and Hunter immediately went over to help him up. Also, y'all notice that the slice went all the way to Wrecker's skin? That was chilling. I hope Wrecker will be ok. I did love Crosshair's convo with Wrecker. Yes, he's scared and internally having several mental breakdowns, but he's doing it for Omega. He loves her more than anything. When he says he "owes her," it's his way of telling Wrecker that. Cross has never been one to be openly emotional about things. His actions show where his heart truly lies.

Omega was incredible this episode. Her "they found me... my brothers" just hit the spot. She knows that they will always come for her and will fight through hell and back for her. That's the level of love and trust she has with them. Also shoutout for her leadership skills and sneaking skills. Omega has grown so much and the impact of her brothers on her is so noticeable. You know the moment she sees the Zillo, she's got a plan cooking.

Hemlock isn't an idiot? Villain being competent? Well, that's both satisfying and scary.

ECHO!!!! Sweet Echo back at it, serving us with peak Arc Trooper content. Seriously, I love him so much! I also love how he now looks like Fives and the rest of his OG squad. The last Domino is carrying the banner with pride (he's fine relax 🙃). His convo with Emerie was golden. He's come so far since reciting the reg handbook back to his brothers word-by-word. There is so much meaning behind Echo telling Emerie that following orders blindly isn't the right thing to do. It might be Emerie's job, but it's putting the lives of others at stake. It's wrong. And having it be Echo who tells her that is so important. Crosshair fits better as Rampart's narrative foil due to the imperial past and prison sessions. But Echo being Emerie's narrative foil is incredible. Echo is such a beautiful person inside and out. He better make it out alive.

Anyways, I can't wait to cry with y'all on Wednesday. See you then!

Across the Netflix-Verse: Joshua Sumter Meets She-Ra and the Princesses of Power SYNOPSIS: When creative and autistic Joshua Sumter teams up with orphan-turned-heroine/warrior princess Adora, Etheria will never be the same! But together, they just might save the universe.

Think you know the story of She-Ra and the Princesses of Power? Etheria (and the Netflix-Verse) will never be the same as Joshua Sumter stars in his own self-insert, Isekai-turned-multiversal, retelling epic that not only flips the script on the hit animated reboot from DreamWorks and Netflix by ND Stevenson to reimagine and change the events of the show...but also spans across the wild, the wacky, the scary, the magical, the mythical, and sometimes very mature worlds and universes of the Netflix-verse, a multiverse featuring your fan-favorite Netflix shows and movies. Based on the hit animated She-Ra and the Princesses of Power series and in the tradition of Space Jam (1996), it's an Isekai-turned-multiversal, dimension-spanning epic that reimagines the narrative of the show -- with the inclusion of Joshua Sumter as an unlikely, live-action hero who finds himself on a strange, animated world and beyond that is familiar but slightly changed.

Life was carefree for creative and autistic Joshua Sumter (That would be me) of Earth (Our universe, the real world). That is, until he lands smack-dab into the war-torn planet of Etheria, the world of the animated reboot She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, where an ongoing, full-blown war ensues between the princess-led Rebellion that wants to maintain peace and harmony for all of Etheria and the dreaded Horde that wants to conquer the planet in the name of its leader, Hordak.

At first, Joshua believes under the impression that everything going on is all just a dream of himself being in a reinterpretation of the rebooted TV series from the 80s as a full-fledged guest star, taking the first steps of his very own Isekai adventure when he bumps into Adora, Glimmer, and Bow, then hangs out with them, unknowingly accepting the full invitation to join in on the fray as a feature of his dream (all the way from Season 1 to the Battle of Bright Moon). But Joshua's enthusiasm falls flat when he quickly gets wrapped up in some very serious stuff during that experience, letting his newly-found zany antics and madcap-style wits guide his ideas and actions enough to make Joshua fully consider the oddest possibility that this is not a dream after all.

Now forced into a whole, new universe, surrounded by characters he now considers his new Etherian pals and is completely aware that he's starring in his very own self-insert retelling of the animated show while helping Adora, Glimmer, Bow, and more allies like Perfuma, Mermista, Frosta, Sea Hawk, Spinnerella, and Netossa in the fight against the Horde, Joshua decides to flip the script on the She-Ra and the Princesses of Power series to make some changes around here his own way by reimaging and changing events of the show that'll help turn things around for the future of Etheria and Adora's destiny...sort of. As Joshua continues to influence the characters with his awesomeness in the form of a hard-hitting baseball bat as his holy-sword-like weapon, his sense of imagination, his Official Handbook-level knowledge and more, Adora and her friends wonder about what they make of him and his bizarre, other-worldly perspective of the world they live in. Along the way, Joshua gets into numerous comedic adventures across the Netflix-Verse, a multiverse of worlds and universes from your favorite Netflix shows and movies, where he went to so many different worlds and made so many heaps of new friends (and enemies) in those respective worlds along the way. With the help of the corporeal and ethereal Emblem spirit of the previous She-Ra, Mara, as well as the animated worlds of the Netflix-Verse, will Joshua be able to beat the odds and help his new Etherian pals out of a real jam by saving the world his own way from a much, bigger threat than the Horde? Featuring the worlds of your favorite Netflix shows and movies such as The Cuphead Show, Green Eggs and Ham, The Dragon Prince, Tiger & Bunny, We Can Be Heroes, Lego Elves: Secrets of Elvendale, The Sea Beast, Maya and the Three, Nimona, Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous, Firedrake: The Silver Dragon, Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, My Dad the Bounty Hunter, Dragon Age: Absolution and more, be prepared for a block-busting, hard-partying, mind-blowing, world-hopping, fourth-wall-breaking, live-action/animation mayhem in this self-inserting tale that spans both our world and theirs.

DISCLAIMER: In the tradition and style of Space Jam (1996) meets Epic (2013) with a hint of Chip n' Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022), the Kingdom Hearts series, Gwenpool, and other Isekai tropes, Across the Netflix-Verse: Joshua Sumter Meets She-Ra and the Princesses of Power basically reimagines and changes the narrative of the show (Seasons 1-5), but with the inclusion of, yours truly, Joshua Sumter, and new twists and different outcomes inspired by some of the She-Ra and the Princess of Power fan fictions than the ones in the actual show for "anyone who wants to enjoy an entirely, different story with some few changes".

The Netflix-Verse, as the name implies, is a shared multiverse of worlds and universes that are mostly based on, inspired by, and from your favorite Netflix shows and movies in the tradition of Powerpuff Girls: Super Smash-Up!, Sonic Prime, Space Jam: A New Legacy, and the Kingdom Hearts series. The main hub of the Netflix-Verse is a vast expanse of space between that resembles Netflix's home menu, composed and surrounded by posters that served as gateways to these worlds. From the wild, the wacky, the scary to the magical, the mythical, the epic and sometimes very mature, it's a dimension-spanning epic into these Netflix-based worlds.

Inspiration details and allusions:

Space Jam (1996) and Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021) -- Just like how Michael Jordan and Lebron James are live-action superstars entering a spectacular animated world and teaming up with the Looney Tunes in their two movies, Joshua Sumter (That would be me) does the same as he gets forced into the animated world of She-Ra and the Princesses of Power to help Adora and her friends in the princess-led Rebellion in their ongoing war against the dreaded Horde.

Epic (2013) -- M.K. is a teenager finds herself transported to a deep forest setting where a battle between the forces of good and evil is taking place. In similarity, Joshua is a grown, autistic young man who finds himself transported to a war-torn planet based on a rebooted TV series from the 80s.

Kanji Tatsumi's storyline from Persona 4: Arena -- In Persona 4: Arena, Kanji Tatsumi still thinks that everything in the entire P1-Grand Prix tournament is all a dream until he eventually finds out it is in fact not, so when Joshua first lands smack-dab in Etheria, he believes that his experience in Etheria from Season 1 to the Battle of Bright Moon is all a reinterpretation/Isekai adventure dream, that is...until he eventually later finds out that it's not a dream when he reaches the first episode of She-Ra and the Princesses of Power's Season 2.

Kingdom Hearts and PowerPuff Girls: Super Smash-Up! -- The Kingdom Hearts franchise features Disney-based worlds and how Sora embarks on an epic journey across the multiverse and encounters Disney and Final Fantasy characters in their respective worlds and helps them while the Powerpuff Girls: Super Smash-Up! comic crossover mini series is a dimension-spanning epic inspired by Batman: The Brave and the Bold where Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup visit other Cartoon Network universes. In Across the Netflix-Verse: Joshua Sumter Meets She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Joshua did the same thing - this time, it features worlds and universes that are mostly based on, inspired by, and from your favorite Netflix shows and movies. In actuality, the She-Ra and the Princesses of Power world Joshua was first isekai-ed into was one of the Netflix-based worlds in the Netflix-Verse, so he then later goes on a world-hopping journey across the Netflix-Verse and encounters main characters in their respective worlds like The Cuphead Show, Green Eggs and Ham, The Dragon Prince, Tiger & Bunny, We Can Be Heroes, Lego Elves: Secrets of Elvendale, The Sea Beast, Maya and the Three, Nimona, Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous, Dragon Age: Absolution and helps them out.

Emblem spirits from Fire Emblem: Engage and the Soul transferal from Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles -- The corporeal spirit incarnation of Mara, the previous She-Ra, is in her ethereal appearance and bluish glow, interacting with the world and fight. Moving her soul into Joshua's body, along with prior knowledge of her past, the transferal allowed Mara to communicate with Joshua as if living in their mind, offering him advice and intent on providing guidance. Joshua is unaware that Mara's strength made him fights like an entirely different person with a hard-hitting silver-ironed baseball bat as his holy sword-like weapon, wielding it like a hero's sword.

i come bearing time duplicate, an epic-level spell found in the depths of the epic level handbook for dnd 3.5e. this will now consume my waking thoughts for dunamancy/sg/oc purposes

*Download Tides of the Cosmos HERE!*

The shadows over Tuur grow ever stronger. Will you alter the Tides of Fate?

Tides of the Cosmos is an epic-fantasy TTRPG with lore that rivals Pathfinder and Dungeons and Dragons. With an easy-to-learn system for combat and roleplaying that caters to veterans and new players alike, this game can be enjoyed by all.

Play as a holy Cleric, a rebellious Warlock, a smooth-talking Sharptongue, a poison-weaving Shadowlurker, an unkillable Sentinel, a ruthless Berserker, and many more archetypes that suit any player's needs and wants.

Explore all corners of Tuur, a world that is both filled with endless lore that leaves enough room for your own world to thrive and prosper.

Create powerful combos of spells and abilities that will take your chosen champion to levels of deities. 

This game was submitted as part of the Minimalist TTRPG Jam by Binary Star Games...as...well...an excuse to get this out there before the handbook is designed. Check out Binary Star Games today!

Anaxim

Image © Wizards of the Coast, by Wayne Reynolds

[Commissioned by @justicegundam82​​. The anaxim was one of the abominations in the D&D 3.0 Epic Level Handbook, and even in its initial appearance seemed like a strange fit. It doesn’t have an epic level CR, at CR 20, and it is the only non-evil abomination. 4e tried to reinvent them by moving them to the Forgotten Realms, and conflating them with a 2e monster family from Dragon Magazine, the sheen. Like most decisions involving the Realms in the 4e era, I hate this and am ignoring it.

My inspiration for the flavor text is as much from conversations with my followers as from any official source. Their first canon backstory is that they are the abandoned creations of a forge god who tried and failed to make an ultimate weapon. The commissioner suggested, in light of this and to give the anaxim something to do other than fight, that they be interested in “fixing” themselves. A conversation with @strawberry-crocodile​​ about one of her upcoming commissions got me thinking about how Pathfinder RPG treats Law vs. Chaos as the big reality-defining conflict as opposed to Good vs. Evil (more traditional fantasy settings) or Evil vs. Evil (the Blood War). And, because of where I am in my life, there’s definitely an element of queer symbolism in this entry as well. Feel free to play that up, or play that down, depending on how you want to use the anaxim in your game.]

Anaxim CR 17 N Outsider (extraplanar) This mechanical thing is approximately human shaped, but nearly twice as broad. Its body seems to be made entirely of weapons—it has spinning blades mounted on its back, multiple hooks and cleavers growing along its arms, and a face like a knight’s helmet.

In the war between the inevitables and proteans, there are casualties. Most of these are outright fatalities, but in some cases, an inevitable becomes irreversibly changed by the forces of chaos. When this happens, the inevitable transforms into an anaxim. No two anaxim look identical, but all resemble loosely humanoid metal figures covered in weapons. The primary goal of most anaxim is perfection: making themselves whole and complete in a way that is unique to each individual. Many anaxim would also like to figure out a way to reliably replicate, one that didn’t rely on freak chance and outside intervention. A few anaxim are instead filled with self-loathing and seek to lash out at the forces that made them—these are the most dangerous.

A single anaxim is the equivalent of an entire mortal army, and they are able to go toe-to-toe with all but the most powerful proteans or inevitables alike. As anaxims value their own lives very highly, they usually start a combat cautiously, from a distance or with hit and run attacks. The spinning blades that grow between their shoulders are, when spun fast enough, able to act as a wing, granting the creature remarkable maneuverability for its weight. In addition to their impressive physical weaponry, an anaxim can use a number of spells for defense, and a powerful blast of sonic energy for offense.

Anaxims are insane by the standards of the inevitables, which means that they are capable of respecting and understanding multiple viewpoints. Some maintain a balanced approach to achieving their goals, while others veer wildly between chaotic and lawful behavior. On some occasions anaxim will gather together into groups if their views of perfection overlap. If they do not, such groups rapidly fall apart due to infighting, with anaxim attempting to take control of their peers or simply blast them to pieces with their sonic cones.

Anaxim       CR 17 XP 104,200 N Medium outsider (chaotic, extraplanar, lawful) Init +7; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +26, true seeing Defense AC 33, touch 18, flat-footed 25 (+7 Dex, +1 dodge, +15 natural) hp 270 (20d10+140 plus 20); fast healing 10 Fort +13, Ref +19, Will +17 DR 15/(adamantine and lawful) or (adamantine and chaotic); Immune construct traits; Resist cold 20, electricity 20, fire 20; SR 28 (35 vs. divinations) Defensive Abilities constructed Offense Speed 30 ft., fly 100 ft. (perfect) Melee 2 blade arms +31 (2d6+11/19-20), spinning blades +31 (4d6+11/19-20x3) Ranged 6 spikes +27 (1d8+11) Special Attacks control construct, rend (2 blade arms, 2d6+16), sonic cone Spell-like Abilities CL 20th, concentration +25 Constant—nondetection (self only), true seeing At will— chain lightning (DC 21), displacement, greater dispel magic 3/day—ethereal jaunt, quickened greater dispel magic, improved invisibility 1/day—summon (1 iron golem, 100%, 9th level) Statistics Str 33, Dex 25, Con 25, Int 20, Wis 20, Cha 20 Base Atk +20; CMB +31 (+35 sunder); CMD 49 (51 vs. sunder) Feats Cleave, Craft Construct (B), Deadly Aim, Dodge, Flyby Attack, Great Cleave, Greater Sunder, Improved Critical (spinning blades), Improved Sunder, Power Attack, Quicken SLA (greater dispel magic) Skills Acrobatics +28, Craft (clockwork) +24, Fly +24, Knowledge (arcana, dungeoneering) +21, Knowledge (engineering, planes) +24, Perception +26, Sense Motive +26, Stealth +28, Spellcraft +21 (+25 crafting constructs), Survival +26, Use Magic Device +26; Racial Modifiers +4 Spellcraft when crafting constructs Languages Celestial, Common, Modron, Protean, Utopian SQ armament, construct maker Ecology Environment any land or underground (Axis) Organization solitary, binary pair or squad (3-6 plus 0-12 miscellaneous constructs) Treasure standard Special Abilities Armament (Ex) An anaxim’s natural weapons overcome damage reduction as lawful, chaotic and magic weapons. Its blade arms are primary natural weapons that deal slashing and piercing damage, and threaten a critical hit on a roll of 19-20. Its spinning blades are a primary natural weapon that deals slashing damage, and deals x3 damage on a successful critical hit. Control Construct (Su) Three times per day as a standard action, an anaxim can attempt to take over a construct within 60 feet. The construct can attempt a DC 25 Will save; if it fails, it is totally under the control of the anaxim for 24 hours. Creatures with the constructed defensive ability, such as inevitables, modrons and other anaxim, are susceptible to this effect as well. The save DC is Charisma based. Constructed (Ex) Although anaxim are living outsiders, their bodies are constructed of physical components, and in many ways they function as constructs. For the purposes of effects targeting creatures by type (such as a ranger's favored enemy and bane weapons), anaxim count as both outsiders and constructs. They are immune to death effects, disease, mind-affecting effects, necromancy effects, paralysis, poison, sleep, stun, and any effect that requires a Fortitude save (unless the effect also works on objects, or is harmless). Anaxim are not subject to nonlethal damage, ability damage, ability drain, fatigue, exhaustion, or energy drain. They are not at risk of death from massive damage. They have bonus hit points as constructs of their size. Anaxim do not need to breathe. Construct Maker (Ex) An anaxim has Craft Construct as a bonus feat. It gains a +4 racial bonus on all Spellcraft checks used in the manufacture of a construct. Sonic Cone (Su) Once every 1d4 rounds as a standard action, an anaxim can create a 60 foot cone of deadly sonic energy. All creatures in the area take 20d6 points of sonic damage and are staggered for 1 round. A successful DC 25 Reflex save halves the damage and negates the staggered condition. The save DC is Charisma based. Spikes (Ex) As a standard action, an anaxim can fire up to six spikes. Each spike is treated as a ranged weapon with a range increment of 100 feet. Each spike deals 1d8 damage plus the anaxim’s Strength modifier. An anaxim never runs out of spikes.

@dremiru thank u, i introspected and concluded taking a break and drinking water would be a good thing actually

tagging: if you see this try it, it is tumblr tradition. also @imawake-butatwhatcost, @ratstuckinamarble, @violetren, @sixerry, @mysral, @the-emerald-wyrm, @celinedgd, @silksinging, @eulaliafluffboll, @venn364, @rwby-owns-my-life, @sunshine-tattoo, @demiun, @laulink, poking u poking u dont be me and forget to drink anything for 24+ hours

Last song -> Lugia’s Song (The Legend Comes To Life) EPIC VERSION cover by Anthony Lo Re on repeat, possibly for days

Currently reading -> rereading the Dungeons and Dragons Player Handbook, trying to figure out how to make level 1 Druids actually fun so someone will actually play one without demanding to skip levels (aka: every other spellcaster gets a cool feat at lvl 1 and druidic is the most useless language ever angry face angry face knife emoji)

Currently watching -> Mentour Pilot over on youtube, for calm and non-dramatized breakdowns (heh) of commercial plane emergencies and how to keep them from happening again maybe.

Current obsession: Willow 2022, even though I have not watched it. (it looks silly i love silly) (the idea of grumpy tired grandpa willow makes me happy) (my fixation on lady knight/princess ships is never ending and this one is KISS CANON) (TWICE!!)   

List of battles, as chosen by wheel spin. Each round will last about a week, Starting next Monday.

Round 1, Part 1:

King Valerius (Dragon's Reign by Raythe Reign/X. Aratare) vs Nel (Fire Emblem)

Yang Xiao Long (RWBY) vs Falin Touden/Red Dragon (Dungeon Meshi)

Qibli (Wings of Fire) vs Dan Heng/Dan Feng (Honkai Star Rail)

Evaristo (The Las Leyendas movie franchise) vs Paarthurnax (The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim)

Prismatic dragon (Dungeons & Dragons (Epic Level Handbook, Dragons of Dragons of Faerûn) vs Imperialdramon (Digimon)

Whiptail lizard (Real Life) vs Shi An (After The Abyss Dragon Woke Up (深渊巨龙苏醒以后))

Sundew (Wings of Fire) vs Rex Igneous (The Dragon Prince)

Uncle Iroh (Avatar: The Last Airbender) vs Azhdaha/Retuo Longwang (Genshin Impact)

Round 1, Part 2:

Rei (Vainglorious Webcomic) vs Remy (Angels with Scaly Wings)

Soren (Fire Emblem:Path of Radiance + Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn) vs Wrathion (Warcraft Series)

Valax (Blades of Light and Shadow) vs Fiona (Flight Rising)

Kaido (One Piece) vs Velverosa (Mage & Demon Queen)

Lord Arum (The Penumbra Podcast: Second Citadel) vs Midgardsormr (Dragalia Lost)

Nimona (Nimona) vs Mateo (Poised in Either Eye by B. Pigeon and Fell A. Marsh)

Corrin (Fire Emblem: Fates) vs The Void Dragon (Aurora)

Anemone (Wings of Fire) vs Tillius the Paladin/Tilly Evans (She Kills Monsters)

Round 1, Part 3:

Unnamed Young Dragon (The Enchanted Forest Chronicles) vs Caden Bryce (Dragon's Reign by Raythe Reign/X. Aratare)

Veldora Tempest (That time I got reincarnated as a slime) vs Zuko (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Draco quinquefasciatus (Thailand, Indonesia, and Malaysia) vs Umber (Wings of Fire)

Rhea (Fire Emblem) vs Xue Xian (Copper Coins (Tong Qian Kan Shi) (铜钱龛世))

Tamarin (Wings of Fire) vs Samol (Friends at the Table: Seasons of Hieron)

Robin (Fire Emblem: Awakening) vs Ansur (Baldur's Gate 3)

Moondragon/Heather Douglas (Marvel Comics: Guardians of the Galaxy) vs Chromie/Chronormu (Warcraft Series)

Smaug (Lord of The Rings/The Hobbit) vs Burnet (Wings of Fire)

Round 1, Part 4:

Rong Minh Thanh Thuan/Thuan (Dominion of the Fallen series by Aliette de Bodard) vs Ventuswill (Rune Factory 4)

J'mon Sa Ord/Devo'ssa (Critical Role) vs Zinnia (Super Lesbian Animal RPG)

Tohru (Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid) vs Alear ( Fire Emblem: Engage)

Alduin (The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim) vs Jae-ha (Yona of the Dawn)

Dragona Joestar (Jojo's Bizzare Adventure: The Jojolands) vs Zhongli (Genshin Impact)

Ayame (Fruits Basket) vs Alba-Lenatus the Abyss Dragon (Yu-Gi-Oh!)

Zephyr (Poised in Either Eye by B. Pigeon and Fell A. Marsh) vs Terezi Pyrope (Homestuck)

Kazuma Kiryu (Yakuza Series) vs Malleus Draconia (Twisted Wonderland)

Magic Item: The Throne of Dawn

Unique Greater Artifact (requires attunement)

CL 20, Overwhelming Conjuration and Divination

The Throne of Dawn is a gleaming golden throne, with an odd mechanism at the top of the back, about head height. It seems to be simply an ornate chair, but, in truth, is a weapon of unimaginable power.

When the throne is occupied, usually but not necessarily by a construct, the throne allows the occupant to sit so high in the sky that it orbits the world as the sun and moon do. From this position, the occupant may move around with a thought and bombard the surface with gigantic 20' long, 1' diameter metal rods which strike the ground with enough power to shatter mountains.

Generally, the throne is sat in by a construct that is under the control of the owner of the throne. A construct need not eat, breath or sleep, and will only get bored if they are given enough of a mind to do so. A living creature can occupy the throne, and it will magically preserve them without food or air, but it cannot do anything about the boredom. Either way, the odd mechanism on the chairback inserts into the head of the creature seated upon it. This deals no damage, but is painful and incredibly disconcerting to most living creatures.

5e

In 5e, the Throne allows the occupant to Teleport, Scry, and create 20' long rods of adamantine (as the spell) Creation) at will, and the throne acts as a ring of sustenance.

3.x

In 3.x, the Throne allows the occupant to use the spells Greater Teleport, Greater Scrying and Major Creation at will, and the throne acts as a ring of sustenance.

PF2

In PF2, the Throne allows the occupant to use the spells Teleport (heightened to 7th level), Scrying and Creation at will, and automatically receives the benefits of the spell Sustenance each week.

The caster level of all effects is 20. Orbit of a world is assumed to be 160-320 miles above its surface*. If a world does not have orbits, the throne is simply able to hover in place at a similar height.

The throne's Scrying effect should be used to scry on the owner or an ally of the throne occupant, and allows this target to call down a strike, as the occupant is able to see and hear the target (who voluntarily fails their save). The scrying can be used on other targets, such as the target of a strike, but in this case it follows the usual rules for scrying on an enemy.

The rods created by he Throne** strike nearly instantly once created, but due to the need for a strike to be called, the occupant to move into position, and then create the rods, once called, the rods will strike their target within 1d4+2 rounds.

The actual effect of a rod striking varies by distance from a targeted square, and are as follows:

40' radius from the target square: replicates a fireball (caster level 20) except the radius is 40' and it deals 20d6 fire damage, and 10d6 fire damage out to a radius of 370'.

41-370' radius: 10d6 fire damage to all creatures and objects.

Within a 160' radius: creatures and objects take 20d12 bludgeoning damage (which overcomes hardness of 20 or less).

161-340' radius: creatures and objects take 10d12 bludgeoning damage (which overcomes hardness 10 or less)

341-860' radius: creatures take 5d12 damage, in a rough mix of bludgeoning, piercing and slashing.

The Throne of Dawn is an artifact of immense power, among the greatest magical items ever made, even if it's actual component spells are relatively minor.***

*This is based on the spell Nailed to the Sky in 3e's Epic Level Handbook

**based on the hypothetical Tungsten rods, which travel at speeds of 8,000 miles per second due to gravity and a low air resistance. The effects, or more specifically radii, are based on the NUKEMAP, using the 11.5 ton yield of the hypothetical tungsten rods.

***Strictly, if you want to know what this is worth in 3.x, it would be 765,000 gp per the item creation rules in the DMG, and constructing one requires a golden throne worth 1,500 gp. This is just above the wealth by level of a 20th level character, but a party would be able to buy one easily, so you probably shouldn't put it in a shop.

Fabulous at Any Age: A Young Adult's Skin Care Handbook

Beauty enthusiasts, if you're on a quest for youthful, radiant skin, you've come to the right place. We're breaking down the basics and beyond, so buckle up for a journey to skin nirvana. Let's get started on your path to a complexion that turns heads and breaks hearts! And for personalised skincare advice tailored just for you, don't forget to consult with the best dermatologist in Trinidad. Your radiant skin journey begins here when you consult with the best dermatology expert.

Sunscreen, Shades, and Sunshine Smarts

The sun is like your skin's BFF, but it can also be a bit of a troublemaker. Meet your secret weapon: sunscreen! Opt for a high SPF, rock those fabulous shades, and seek shade during peak hours. These tricks will keep your skin happy, healthy, and forever young.

The Epic Battle for Clear, Glowing Skin

Acne can feel like a dragon you have to slay. Fear not, brave soul! Arm yourself with potent acne fighters – cleansers, spot treatments, and maybe a chat with a dermatologist. Soon, you'll be victorious in the quest for blemish-free, radiant skin without any allergies.

Crafting Your Personalized Beauty Ritual

Welcome to your twenties – a magical time for self-discovery and fabulous skin! As you embark on this journey, ensure your skin receives the best care possible. Discover the power of personalised skincare with the guidance of the best dermatologist online consultation. Dive into the world of antioxidants and retinoids for that extra magic touch, and don't hesitate to seek expert advice from the finest skin specialists in Trinidad.

Beyond Skincare Products – Nourishing from Within

Turns out, skincare isn't just about products; it's a lifestyle! Embrace the holistic approach by feasting on a rainbow of healthy foods, sipping on water like it's your personal elixir, and managing stress like a zen master. Kick habits like smoking and excessive partying to the curb – your skin will thank you with a youthful glow that's nothing short of fabulous. And for expert advice on anti-aging and cosmetics, consult with the best dermatology expert in Trinidad to elevate your skincare routine to the next level. Your radiant skin journey begins here!

Conclusion:

There you have it, radiant warriors! Armed with sun protection, acne-busting strategies, a killer skincare routine, and lifestyle choices that scream self-love, you're on your way to becoming the radiant beauty you were born to be. Celebrate your skin, embrace your journey, and let your beauty shine brighter than ever before!

The Everything Wrapup of 2023

Here we are, at the end of the year.

I write a lot on this blog — this year represents a full 365,000 words, more or less. I cover a range of topics, too, with ideas like the interactions within queerness and politics, the life of a fundamentalist Christian, game making, writing, media analysis and of course, by volume, tons and tons of Dungeons & Dragons nonsense.

Chances are, at the end of the year, you haven’t read everything I’ve done. I have, but I’m just one person, and therefore, statistically negligible. What if you want to read a bunch of stuff on my blog, but don’t know what I made this year that you’d think is cool?

Let me give you a run-down on my favourite articles of 2023, then! Get ready for some links!

First of all, the articles about Dungeons & Dragons. I wrote about the prestige class system, which wound up distorting the game around it, and oh look it’s capitalism again. I wrote about the way that D&D gets you playing with its ideas before you ever touch a dice, and the way that DMs should give players a meaningful mechanical anchor to a story type they want (ie, a boyfriend). Also, in the vein of a stuff I felt like I should have addressed a long time ago, this is the year I decided to finally grapple (hah) with the grappling rules in 3e, which I have been joking about for years.

Then I took things to the other side of the screen in 3e, looking at the idea of action economies, through one of the most broken 3e spells, Haste, about what monsters imply about the world with the question of what an otyugh means; not what it is or what it does, but what it means when you see one. There’s also an article to inspect the confusing worldbuilding presented by gods with an incentive system, and a consideration of the monsters from the epic level handbook, my favourite part of that book.

I looked at 4th edition a lot, of course, because it’s the best edition. This year though, I made a change from my usual content of ‘explaining how this works’ to people, and instead started on talking about ways I expand it, or execute on it. For example, I talked about using ideas from Blades in the Dark for skill challenges that normally seem very singular, and I dumpstered one of the worst classes in 4e D&D for fun, and explained the ability scores part of D&D, something that I feel needs to be how it is even if there’s no good reason for it to be this way. Also, since it was going to be necessary for eventual consideration in some How To Be articles, I figured I’d examine the critical hit system of 4e D&D, and how to take advantage of it.

I suppose if I’m talking about the year in review and I’m already in Hasbro territory, have the articles about Magic: The Gathering that best represented my feelings about Magic: The Gathering, a game that has released twenty sets in the past two years, of which I have liked three, and hated the rest. There was my 20th year anniversary playing mtg and the anger and despair I felt about it, there was anger and despair at the lord of the rings cards and then, since I wasn’t done, a bunch of anger about the dr who cards as well I guess.

That’s D&D in the general though, what about D&D in the specific? Ie, my D&D, the D&D that’s about the world I made and play in, and have been playing in since I was a teenager?

I have been actively trying to present Cobrin’Seil as a whole place, examining systems and places and all that stuff. That meant a lot of what I was doing was finally formalising and writing down cultures and places because how do you belong to a world if you can’t point to the nearby parts of the world and know what’s over there?

First, I decided to describe the boundaries of the country of Dal Raeda, the importance of the Eresh Protectorate’s Kings’ Highway, through the story of the city Lagan. Heading north, into the vast sprawling forests of the north, I spread out across the continent, showing a host of the countries and cities there. Then I showed you Mosetto, a zeppelins and airships driven cogcore country inspired by Nausicaa, and the Mykin that live in their canyon. Further north and in the biting colds, there’s Torrent, a city of constant lightning storms, and the jock weedsman war monks that live there and refuse to die. Back south to the ocean coast, but not into Dal Raeda, across the coastline, you see the archipelago country of Kyranou, a nation inspired by Greece and Avatar, and continuing along that coastline, across the neck that leads to Dal Raeda, there’s the magepunk roaring 20s country of Visente. South from Visente, into the ocean, there’s Uxaion, a dreadful mage-necro-cyberpunk island city for players to adventure against unfair things.

The biggest and most prominent change to the geography of the world was the project that started when I resolved to to strip out my old region with the weak name of ‘kryphaneos,’ and turned into a three part article examining that new location, and its particular locations and cultures. That was how I created my new favourite thing in the setting, the horror peninsula of the Szudetken, a place that is informed by a vision of horror that speaks to Christian Fundamentalism of the 1990s. Of course, once I’ve described the Szudetken, how can I guide players to belonging in those places? Player themes!

While I was doing large multi-part articles about varied cultural groups, what about The Beast People? Well, first, why the setting has those terms, and then, a consideration of those people , in two parts. I also looked into the assumptions about orcs and language, and even wondered whether or not ‘straight’ is the default in the world, at least as a created and reasonably communicated orientation. What’s more, while talking about the assumptions of language, I examined the economics of a ‘gold piece’ in a world and what that means about the assumed universality of capitalism.

But finally, and probably the most fun, and the one I want to use as a template for future examinations, I finally wrote up the Halfling Hulks and the player faction of the Northumbrians after them. I love this so much because I love the way it gives a player an experience of living in the world they are. The story of loading and unloading a boat, of the people you know around the docks, of the everyday normal for people, and the degrees of what a player character can be used to or expect. Sure, you probably know about ‘the big halfling boats’. But if you’re really familiar you might know the Northumbrians, by name. You might even be one.

When talking about fundamentalist nonsense, I feel the writing is less fun but no less important. Particularly, there are some ideas that people don’t seem to realise are present in Christian spaces, and assume that surely, that’s not a thing. Things like the seemingly absurd idea of suicide denial. This article wound up being about self-immolation? Which is not a non-bummer, lemme tell you.

I tackled the idea, and my framework for all consideration of Christian fundamentalism, in that I am firmly convinced that all fundamentalism is a grift. Any genuine believers are feeding into a system with a grifter upstream. Sometimes that grifter is after control, like they want to control people’s lives such as causes the horrorshow of dating while in a fundie church, and sometimes the grifter is trying to sell a particular product. Like, you know, the eerie conspiracy theory lurking underneath assumptions about translations and therefore why you should only buy the one they’re selling.

What about games? I make games! I love talking about games! Setting aside the Game Pile (and there was a video compiling those a few days ago), I also wrote a bunch about game making. In fact, this year featured a lot of design sketches for whole games:

Boyfriend Material, a game about monster-banging and its graphic design limits

A cooperative game design about wrestlers

A competitive game of bitchy gay courtiers sneering at one another

A Goncharov card game

A sorting-algorithm based game of building teams

A game about Goblin Postmasters messing up

A game design about Wandering Samurai choosing their paths

A design about Werewolves bootlegging and selling their wares

And then, removed from specific game designs, there’s my article considerating what parts of a game are or aren’t interface, which is based on a consideration of Donald Norman. Another article on how your game represents speed and therefore time, Bloodwork articles examining the ongoing design of a game about vampire gangs and what vampires are for, and probably my most well-seen article this year, a treatment of how the idea of ‘the magic circle’ is pretty much just privilege.

Media, media, media, I like media, you like media, we all like media and I sure talked about a bunch of media! I did an examination of the ship of Jessie Teamrocket and Ash’s Mom, which isn’t a joke, and is very much a well-supported ship, I wrote a long form examination of an incredibly tedious dude from a very mid anime who was nonetheless incredibly influential, a discussion of the character of Bridget Guiltygear and how boys might now feel alienated from her, an article about Goncharov, the movie that tumblr made up and had fun with and then the whole rest of the internet declared ‘cringe’ while we were having fun, an article about Halloween, the original one, which was so much better than I expected, an article about Lie To Me, a tv series built around a pseudoscience masquerading as real science masquerading as real magic, an article about how we perceive a series like Lycoris Recoil, the absolute beast of an article about what I still think of as ‘the first half’ of Megatokyo, the series of articles about My Hero Academia, a show that gets worse the more I remember it, a series of articles about Person of Interest, my article about the truly excellent anime Summer Time Rendering and then my article about the There She Is!! web animation that’s also about racism.

You know, the easy stuff. Then I went on to present a consideration of generative art, with ‘Smooth Alex Jones,’ my thoughts about Chernobyl and the idea of measuring harm not by deaths but by lost life because of that whole pandemic and global climate crisis haha, why racist colonialism was part of the horror of Lovecraft’s work and therefore you can’t just ‘ignore’ it, and hey, while we’re talking about how we perceive reality, I also wrote about the miserable feeling of watching reality bifurcate in front of me and realising I will never not be angrier. Don’t worry, though I wasn’t stuck with downers, because I was able to also write something about a fun little glance at the Confederacy’s currencies, which are bad, because Confederate art consistently sucks, and a queer reading of Wreck It Ralph’s only interesting plot.

This is also the year in which I finally became a fan of The Locked Tomb series, which remains weird to me because of my childhood with the author, who I haven’t spoken to in – well, a few months, but before that I hadn’t spoken to her in decades. Anyway, I read the Locked Tomb books this year, and gosh I liked them a lot!

If you wanna follow my journey, starting with the first book, then articles where I just kinda had more opinions on things that just happened to suddenly become about The Locked Tomb. Like how the way The Locked Tomb reflects my experience growing up wrong, then questions about how the mind and body relate to one another, and, as someone who grew up under a cult leader, an examination of the type of person Jod is.

Know what The Locked Tomb gets people talking about? Well depressed lesbians and sexy cannibalism, but also it’s the thing that leads to people talking about world building! And I’ve written about world building! I made a bunch of articles about doing a better job with world building.

Like how you can force variety into your world with math, the implications of magical genetics and how to avoid like, making wizards into eugenecists, the types of magic you can do with goo and why that’s cool as hell in my fantasy settings, considering how food works in worlds with sentient foodstuff based on Pokemon, and of course, bringing Star Wars in for a beating when I ask why you make a slave race that can feel pain, you weirdoes.

The two most important worldbuilding articles I wrote this year, in my opinion, the piece about The Major Difference between the Warlock and The Paladin. These two articles are in my opinion my best work and I still reference the Paladin one for people to give them ideas for approaching the identity of an idealistic warrior.

Finally, and this does follow on from The Locked Tomb I swear, I wrote about writing this year. And I’ve been thinking about writing a lot because of how that book makes me feel about my own writing. Basically I want to write better because oh my god they’re so good.

Anyway, I wrote about thinking about relationships in terms of who reacts and how you can make them react. I wrote about boys who are just generically positive in a way that suggests nothing about themselves, and how characterisation is more than being enjoyable to look at. I wrote a short fiction about mars conspiracy theories. Then, directly, I wrote about treating myself seriously and reflecting on writing after reading The Locked Tomb, and an attempt to improve my writing through an exercise in descriptive voice. Finally, and most importantly, I wrote about the importance of treating your work like it’s worth treating like it’s work.

That’s it.

That’s the year.

By a quick count I just linked you to a hundred thousand words’ worth of free reading. It’s good! I liked doing it! You should read it if you like! And if you don’t, I don’t care~!

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!