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karizard-ao3 · 6 months

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To be completely honest my main interest in an alternative ending would be a full on confrontation between Eren and Mikasa. Where she confronts him head on about the table scene, his shitty choices and motives, his betrayal and unjust treatment of her and their friends. Also getting more into Eren’s thought process. We had Eren’s breakdown with Armin but it’s not the same with Mikasa. Why he’d let himself die instead of being with her. Just the emotional and psychological charging of such a scene would be great. Most of these weren’t addressed in canon, and while angst is great (she gets the cabin dream but in that timeline the horrible things he’s done never happened so she could never call him out on the rumbling, and so on), I’d love to see this confrontation

Oh, that would be neat! I actually wrote a scene a long time ago where they have somewhat of a confrontation. I'll copy paste it here, but please be aware I had not written anything creative for years when I wrote this and I'm very self-conscious about it:

BEGIN SCENE

Mikasa Ackerman lay on her cot belowdeck, the boat’s gentle rocking lulling her as though she were an infant in her mother’s arms. She had been anxious and heartbroken ever since the walls of Paradis Island fell. Somewhere out there the love of her life, Eren Jaeger, was busily committing genocide and she couldn’t do anything about it but wait for their ship to arrive in Odiha, wait for the Azumabito engineers to assemble the flying boat, and then to try to find Eren and hopefully stop him (without killing him, she hoped, despite what Annie and Jean kept saying) before he flattened the entire planet with his horde of colossal titans. Her stomach twisted painfully as she remembered the last time she had seen him, when he had told her how much he hated her. He told her she was a slave to her Ackerman blood, that he couldn’t stand to look at her, and then proceeded to beat up their best friend, Armin. She hadn’t seen Eren since, and although Armin, the smartest person she knew, believed that Eren had been purposely pushing them away for unknown reasons, his words had been ringing through her head ever since. Her Ackerman blood undoubtedly gave her almost godlike fighting abilities, and the rumor was that it also made her resistant to the powers of the Founding Titan that Eren was now using to manipulate his titan army, but was it also really true when Eren had told her that her Ackerman blood had enslaved her to him? Was she only imprinted on Eren? She got headaches, just like he had said, but she couldn’t remember if the headaches had started before or after she had met Eren and he had draped his scarf around her neck. Mikasa gripped that scarf now and struggled to blink back her tears. She was so angry at him. How dare he cast her entire life and their entire relationship into question? They had always been more than just friends. They were each other’s only family, not by blood but by choice. She had risked her own life time and again to protect him (was that just her Ackerman blood in action?) He was her home after everything else was gone. She had thought he felt, if not as strongly about it as she did, at least something similar. Despite everything, she wished that Eren were here with her now. As much as he may hate her, as many people as he trampled, as angry as she was, she couldn’t pretend that she didn’t still want to be near him. She shut her eyes against the tears welling up inside them.

When she opened her eyes she was laying under a tree on a hill, the sunlight twinkling through the leafy awning above her. She gazed at the sun-spackled branches above her, knowing that if she only turned her head to the left she would see the walls of Shiganshina District there. This was the hill where Eren used to fall asleep when they were children. She was laying there now, just as he used to. Was she dreaming? As she reached up to wipe the wetness from her eyes, a soft exhale beside her startled her, and in an instant she had lurched upwards and onto her side, propping herself on her elbow and readying herself to grapple as she turned towards her unknown companion.

Eren looked back at her. His face fell as his eyes scanned her. “Were you crying?”

Mikasa ignored him and, with narrowed eyes, studied their surroundings. Behind him, flowers speckled the meadow. Bees bumbled from flower to flower, but she noticed that no butterflies danced among them. Odd. At the base of the hill, a poorly dressed little girl with blond hair and a sad face sat, running her hands through the grass and watching them through her bangs. Ymir. So this wasn’t real. Physically, Eren was thousands of miles away. They must be in the Paths. Mikasa looked away from the strange child and glanced back at Eren, who must have brought her here with the power of the Founder. She hadn’t realized he could change the scenery. Suddenly irritated that he’d had the nerve to drag her here after all that he’d said to her, she turned her back to him, reaching by habit for the scarf at her neck and realizing that it wasn’t there because she had stopped wearing it. She only held it these days, and only when nothing else could soothe her. It had been folded on her chest when she was on her cot and it either wasn’t here in the Path with her or had slipped to the ground when she’d been startled by Eren’s presence beside her. She slowly lowered her hand from her neck and placed it in her lap. She would not let herself look for the scarf in front of him.

“Mikasa,” Eren whispered, pained by the streaks of tears he had seen on her cheeks and the hollow way her back caved between them. He reached out a hand to touch her shoulder, then stopped and hung his head. He had made a mistake bringing her here. He hadn’t planned to at all. He had visited Armin and the rest of their friends already, then wiped their memories of it. They wouldn’t know they had even spoken until after his death broke the power of the Founding Titan and released his fellow Eldians from their curse. But Mikasa was different. She was an Eldian, yes, but she was an Ackerman, too, and there was a chance the memory wipe wouldn’t work on her long enough for her to kill him without regrets. He didn’t want to make it more difficult for her to do what he believed she was going to have to do, but here he was anyway because as determined as he had been to make her job easier, he had missed her and he had wanted to see her and he couldn’t bear the way they had parted and he was weak. He couldn’t let his last words to her be, “I’ve always hated you.” Now that they were here it was, once again, too late to undo things, so he might as well keep moving forward. He picked up Mikasa’s scarf from where it had fallen. Her head turned towards the movement, almost imperceptibly, but then she looked away again. He crawled around so he could see her in profile and reached out to take her hand. She let him hold it, but she didn’t return his steady squeeze.

“What do you want, Eren?” she asked flatly, staring forward towards the walls.

Eren didn’t reply, just held her hand and gazed at her, drinking her in; her sun dappled black hair, her bottomless dark eyes, and the scar on her cheekbone that was the only blemish on her otherwise pristine face. She buckled under the weight of his eyes on her, and turned her head to finally look at him.

“What do you want, Eren?” she whispered, her heart feeling as though it were breaking. He looked so tired. She felt so tired. She wanted so badly for him to give her a reason to forgive him. He looked at his lap, where her scarf rested, and, letting go of her hand, unfolded it and reached out to wind it around her neck. The familiar warm weight of it settled around her collarbone, and she couldn’t resist nestling into it as a feeling of well-being flooded through her. Eren stood up beside her, and then reached out his hand for hers. “Please, Mikasa. I want to be home one last time.” He helped her to her feet and then, her hand still clutched in his, led her back towards the house where they had lived together with his parents after her mother and father were murdered. Behind them, the soft footsteps of the shabby little girl rustled through the grass and then padded on the cobblestones of Shiganshina.

As they walked, Eren’s warm, rough hand became smaller and softer, her own shrinking in kind. When they stood before the old house they were nine years old again. They, like the house, no longer bore the scars of the Titan attack that had turned their whole world sideways on that day so long ago. Mikasa slipped her small, dimpled hand from Eren’s and pulled her scarf up over her nose. “Do you want to go inside?” she asked.

“Not really,” said Eren, a serious expression cast over his small face. “Most of my fond memories are of playing outside with you and Armin. I like this view of it.”

Mikasa stood beside him and looked at the house, remembering the one happy year she’d spent in Shiganshina with him and his family before the walls fell. Back then she, Armin, and Eren would tear through town like wild animals, laughing and shouting, before falling in exhaustion beside the canal or on the hilltop outside the town to stare out at the sky above the wall and talk about the limitless possibilities that lay before them in the way that only young kids can. She even fondly remembered the childhood scraps they got into with the local bullies. The stakes had seemed so high at the time, but she had always been able to save her her friends when their enemies were just mean older boys.

As if he could read her mind, Eren asked with a wistful chuckle, “Do you remember all the times you had to jump into a fight I had started and rescue me from my own hubris?”

Mikasa smiled in affirmation and then began walking down the road aimlessly, but in the general direction of Armin’s house. Eren trotted to catch up with her. “I never appreciated it at the time, but I always relied on you to save me.” They walked side by side in silence for a few moments. “Mikasa,” said Eren, “I know you’ll want to try, but it’s too late to save me now.”

Mikasa stopped walking and turned to look at him. She opened her mouth to disagree but Eren stopped her with an upraised hand. “It’s too late. I’ve started wheels turning that I can’t turn back. I’m not smart like Armin. Maybe if he were in my place he could have found another way, but all I could do was follow the plan that I saw in my father’s memories and not burden anyone else with what I was going to do. Maybe it’s what I wanted to do. It’s all become twisted in my mind…” He trailed off for a moment, then regained his focus. “This is what I need you to accept.” His eyes bored into hers, his small face growing dark as he repeated, “It’s too late to save me now. All you can do is stop me.”

Mikasa chewed her lip, looking down at her feet. She had already known it was too late. It was too late the moment he had deserted the Survey Corps and disappeared into enemy territory. It was too late the night that Eren had summoned her and the rest of the Survey Corps to Marley so that they could extract him after he had destroyed the Eldian ghetto of Liberio and stolen the Warhammer Titan from the Tybur family. It was certainly too late now. But, there had been a different night in Marley, when maybe things hadn’t gone too far, and Mikasa had often wondered what would have happened if she had answered Eren’s question differently that night. But, no, it was too late for that, too.

Eren looked at her intensely. “Will you stop me, Mikasa?”

She was quiet for a long momet. Finally, “I have to,” she sighed.

“Will you be the one to kill me?”

“Is that the only way to stop you?” she gasped.

“Yes,” he said, somberly.

She hung her head, her stomach roiling with emotions. “Is that… what you want?”

Eren hesitated. “Yes.”

“Then, I suppose I can be the one,” she said, her eye bright with tears.

Eren touched her cheek, making her look at him. “I’m inside the mouth. I don’t know if you’ll remember me telling you this, but… that’s where I am.”

She and Eren looked at each other for a long moment, then Mikasa nodded, and looked away.

Eren looked up at the sky, watching for birds. “I don’t hate you, Mikasa. I’ve never hated you.”

“That’s not what you said.”

“I was lying.”

Mikasa looked down at her hands, her heart quivering pathetically. “Why?”

Eren picked up a rock from the paved road beneath them and chucked it away. “I wanted to make it easier for you to fight against me. I lied about the Ackerman slave bond, too. I thought it would piss you off. Make you want to prove me wrong. Make it easier.”

"Well, you did piss me off,” Mikasa admitted, then looked up at him accusingly. “But you hurt me a lot more. You hurt me."

“I know,” said Eren guiltily. He paused. “I don’t know why you’re so nice to me, but it’s not because I’m your host. Zeke said- well. I don’t know.”

“You were a real asshole to me,” said Mikasa.

“I know,” said Eren, miserably.

“You really messed with my head. I’ve been questioning my entire identity this whole time. Armin said you were making it up, but…” she threw up her hands.

“I brought you here so I could apologize,” he said, weakly. “I didn’t want to leave things between us like that. You’re the most precious person in my life.”

“What about Armin?” she asked, squinting at him dubiously.

“He’s a close second.”

Mikasa regarded him coldly. She had already forgiven him in her heart, but she wasn’t going to let him off the hook yet. “We’re the two most precious people to you and yet you made me think you hated me and you beat up Armin. How could you do that to him? He’s your best friend.”

Eren looked away. “I wanted to protect you both from me.”

Mikasa tutted. “Why should I believe anything you have to say?”

“Because I have no reason to lie to you anymore. I’m never going to get to talk to you again out in the real world. I might get to see you for a moment before you kill me, but- well. I just don’t want to die without making sure my true feelings are known. I visited Falco to apologize for how I used him when I was in Marley, and do you know what he told the brat who killed Sasha? You know what, nevermind. I’m nervous. I’m prattling.” He took a deep breath, ran his hand through his hair, and began again. “Look, Mikasa, I know that all I am to you is family-”

“That’s not true.”

His face fell. “Are you saying you don’t even consider me family anymore?”

“No, I mean you’re much more to me than that,” said Mikasa, angrily.

He looked at her sharply, then blinked in disbelief. When he opened his eyes again, they were standing together in the lot outside the refugee camp in Marley, the first time they had gone. The bright tents lit up before them. Lurking near the biggest tent, a poorly dressed little girl with blond hair and a sad face stood, her face tilted up towards the moon, her shadowed eyes watching from under heavy lids. Eren looked at Mikasa. She looked back at Eren, clad in his Marleyan suit, his dark hair brushing against his jaw line. 18 years old. She could tell without looking down at herself that she was also 18 again. Her woolen Marleyan blazer tickled her skin, just as it had back then. Eren looked down into Mikasa’s face. “But that’s not what you said.” His cheeks flushed red and he looked at his hands. “I asked, ‘What am I to you’,” he mumbled. “And you said-”

Mikasa could feel her own face burning as she also looked down at Eren’s hands worrying at his coat. Since there was nothing left to lose, she said, “I guess I lied to you, too.”

“Why?” he asked, his voice breaking.

“I was afraid of what you would think of me if I told you how I felt,” said Mikasa.

Eren looked into her eyes, just as he had that night that had not been so long ago, even though it felt like a lifetime. “Then… what am I to you?” he asked.

Mikasa smiled sadly. “All my life since I met you, all I’ve wanted is to be by your side. Just once, when you go away I want you to take me with you. I want to run away with you and spend your last four years together, just the two of us. I just want to be with you, at your side.”

Eren’s eyes widened as she spoke. What would he have done if she had said this to him on that night? Would he have been able to slip away the next day and take his first, irreversible step towards genocide? He had been looking for a way out then, and, oh, he wanted so badly to run away with her still, but… It was too late. His face darkened as his heart twisted painfully. Mikasa saw his expression and hung her head, the paleness of her cheeks and the quiver of her lips reminding him of how she had looked when he told her he hated her even though he could never hate her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I knew you wouldn’t… I’m sorry. I’ll go.” She moved to leave but he caught her upper arms in his hands to hold her in place. With her strength she could easily have broken free but she paused and waited for him. He could feel tears beginning to sting his eyes, but he ignored them. It wasn’t a secret that he was always crying about something. He leaned down and rested his forehead against hers. “I don’t want you to be with me in this hell I’ve made. I want you to be happy. I want you to be free.” His tears made good on their threat and began to stream down his cheeks. “But I also-” his voice broke, but he continued. “I wish I could be at your side, too, Mikasa.”

A surge of relief and sadness and longing washed through Mikasa. Slowly, she lifted her head to look at him, not breaking the contact he had made at their foreheads. They were so close that ther noses were touching. She could feel Eren’s shallow breath against her lips. Her own breath shuddered from her chest. She couldn’t see his mouth- their faces were too close- but she could picture it perfectly. She had often found herself preoccupied with the curve of his lips, their blush pink color, the mystery how how they would taste, how they would feel pressed against her own. Mindlessly, as if in a dream, she tilted her face up, bringing herself another fraction of an inch closer to his mouth. With a soft intake of breath, Eren closed the final, miniscule distance between them and those distracting lips crushed themselves against hers. They were soft, and warm, and salty- was Eren crying again? She lifted her hands to his cheeks and rubbed the tears away with her thumbs as he pulled her closer against him. She parted his lips with her own and their tongues caressed. The rough skin of his close shaved chin scratched against her own as they urgently entwined themselves together. Mikasa’s heart pounded as violently as if she were racing through the woods in her ODM gear. Then Eren’s kisses slowed and, with a look of pained effort, he stepped away, holding her away from him with the same arms he had just used to crush her to him.

“That was selfish of me,” he said, frustrated. “I can’t go back, Mikasa. I can’t undo what I’ve done. I can’t stay at your side. I can only move forward.” Fresh tears welled in his eyes, and he wiped them away with the back of his hand. Mikasa’s heart squeezed in her chest because he was right. She couldn’t be at his side, either. She could only stop him.

#eremika #ask me things #my asks #answered asks #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #attack on titan #eremika fanfic #fanfic #alternate endings #confrontation

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screechthemighty · 10 months

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Okay, Trigun: Stampede/Pacific Rim crossover AU time. Under a cut for length, please know that this is a rough first draft of the concept and probably nothing I can commit to writing. But if there's one thing a bitch (me) knows how to do, it's make a Pacific Rim AU out of anything. So here we go, I guess!

Basic Setup:

Transfer the start of Pacific Rim's timeline far enough into the future that Plants are a plausible technology and say that humanity never damaged Earth bad enough to have to leave it. Therefore, when two Independents are born, and when they find out the truth of what happened to the last Independent born before them, we're still on Earth. And conveniently close to the Pacific ocean.

Plants start going missing along the Pacific coast. Not long after, the first Kaiju attacks. One Independent is pulled out of the rubble by Research Team Three; another goes missing.

The monstrosities that begin to attack humanity are eventually traced back to Plants, creating a public distrust in their use. They've become too ingrained in the fabric of society to do away with entirely, but coastal communities are forced to live without them as Plant use predominantly moves inland. The exact cause of the sudden merger and transformation of the rogue Plants is unknown, but blamed on a sort of "mind virus" that causes them to behave aggressively. This virus is eventually called the Kaiju virus, and infected colonies are often referred to as Kaiju rather than Plants.

The Jaeger program is created. Vash stays with Research Team Three, who pivot to helping with the newly created program. Five years later, he sees his brother again, an incident that leaves him minus one arm and with a sinking suspicion that his brother wants him for something. He runs, and runs, and runs some more, never staying in one place for long but starting to gather reputation as a troublemaker.

The tide shifts in the favor of the Kaiju and their mysterious leader. Red Plants start going missing further and further inland. A newbie reporter and her beleaguered old-timer colleague are assigned a job: see if the reports of infamous wanted criminal Vash the Stampede being in town are accurate. And Vash?

Vash is really just trying to avoid a family reunion.

Character Specific Details:

Vash, as noted, is still an Independent, but much younger in this timeline (chronologically about 14, which would put him in his mid twenties biologically). He's been jumping from town to town to avoid being detected by Knives, but still pops in to visit Brad and Luida, who are still working in a Shatterdome (Brad works on Jaegers, Luida works in ecological restoration).

Not much has changed with Meryl or Roberto. Wolfwood is an undercover Kaiju cultist (we're combining the Eye of Michael and the Kaiju cultists from canon here) with the same mission as in canon: look after Vash, get him to July (which is in this case a Shatterdome, not a city, that has secretly been under Knives' control for years). His gun is probably different, but no less oversized.

Knives is, in fact, the cause of the Kaiju. Remember how in Maximum he could merge with the other Plants to make the Ark basically a giant living ship? It's like that. He's got his roots in the July Shatterdome and has been using his cultist underlings to undermine the program for years. Legato is there, enough said. Conrad too, though under an assumed name since most believe he died in the initial Kaiju attack. The basic plan to open the portal to the Higher Realm is also intact, with the added danger that it will make connecting to every Plant on the planet feasible (instead of having to individually kidnap them, bring them out to the ocean, and morph them into giant monsters there) and allow Knives to wipe out humanity that way.

I can still see Stacker trying to keep it together and having to bring back in Raleigh since the program is bleeding pilots and support. Mako is still the best; Newt and Hermann are still on their bullshit, though Newt is technically a Plant engineer in this timeline. You can bet your ass he loses his mind when he finds out what Vash really is.

Some Other Random Plot Ideas I Have:

The coastal wall attempt still happens, Knives just summons a Kaiju inside the wall to mess with them.

Some jackass decides that even though the Kaiju are, in fact, Plants, that Plant-powered Jaegers might be a way forward since the potential damage of a failed Plant reaction is less than the damage of a nuclear core, and they have plenty of Plants lying around that can be repurposed. Needless to say, this goes BADLY. No amount of "hardening" and "shielding" can keep Knives from influencing a Plant.

Knives forces Vash into reveal himself by basically making Vash choose between showing himself to be an Independent (by stopping a rogue Plant-powered Jaeger) or staying hidden but letting people die. Vash being Vash, he chooses the former. Yes, this does cause a LOT of distrust towards him.

Could take the ending mission of the movie (plant a bomb in the interdimensional portal to close it) and apply it to the July incident? So part of the conflict becomes that if this happens, there's a high chance Vash will die, but if they don't do it, there's a high chance EVERYONE will die.

July still gets blown off the map, it's just a matter of how. Still trying to figure that out.

I told you I can make a Pacific Rim AU out of anything.

#screech's crossover ramblings

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dcsertrose · 1 year

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Now I'm curious what do you think Eren would be like in that aspect of parenting?

It depends on which version of Eren we're talking about.

Canon Eren doesn't have a paternal bone in his body, sorry to burst everyone's bubble but it is what it is. His future is set is stone and he knows he's not destined for happiness. He might have a breeding kink and has thought about impregnating Mikasa in their little cabin but he knows he can't burden her with a lifelong responsibility of taking care of his child long after he's gone. He doesn't want to leave a mark behind — boy made sure to wipe out the entire Jaeger bloodline. 😔

Things might be different for modern/reincarnation!au Eren though. Starting a family with Mikasa? Fuck yeah. There's no curse cutting his lifespan short. He'd love to have a bunch of miniKasas running around (he'd be such a girl-dad) and he would spoil those kids like crazy 😭💕 Eren would be super overprotective! His kids would inherit his feral personality and that'll give him a taste of his own medicine lmaoo

#answered

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dragonmasterkaylz · 10 months

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Attack on Titan 2- Character Sheet

Name: Kayleigh Gregson

Age: 15

Birth Date: March 25th, 835

Place of Birth: Wall Maria, Shinganshina

Height: 5’7 / 170cm

Regiment: Scouts

Squad: Special Operations Squad (Levi Squad)

Best Friends: Sasha Braus, Mikasa Ackerman, Jean Kirstein and Petra Ral.

Mentor: Levi Ackerman.

Enemy: Reiner Braun (Until Part 2 of Season 4)

Eventual Spouse: Reiner Braun.

Headcannon ENG VA: Anne Yatco.

Headcannon JP VA: Miyuki Sawashiro.

Personality:

You will have never met someone as sweet, kind and as understanding as Kayleigh. She can be a little shy when it comes to meeting new people, especially people as eccentric as Hanji. She also finds hard to adjust to new places and at times, her nerves can get the better of her. However, on the battlefield, that all changes. She becomes a true team leader, especially when no one else is willing to stand up and take that position. She may not be as intelligent as Armin, but she isn’t stupid either. She’s able to make decisions based on the situation, even if it’s not easy to do so. She’s far from reckless as well and will never go head to head against a Titan without some kind of plan. And, she isn’t above disciplining and lecturing one of her fellow comrades if she needs to. This is always to help them see that they have to continue fighting on, even if the end result isn’t so pleasant.

Scores:

Fighting Ability- 7/10

ODM Gear Skills- 9/10

Leadership- 8/10

Relationships with her Comrades- 10/10

Trust- 10/10

Cleaning Ability- 8/10

Intellect- 6/10 (Depends)

Fear of the Titans- 2/10

Titan Slaying Skills- 8/10

Opinions of Her:

Eren Jaeger: She’s a really sweet girl, even helped me out while I was in the Special Operations Squad. But, if I’m being completely honest… she scares me sometimes! Her skills are amazing! I don’t really want to get on her bad side!

Mikasa Ackerman: She’s a true leader. I’m honestly surprised that her main goal is to keep her fellow comrades and friends alive. I wish we had met her when we were kids. We did all live in Shinganshina after all~.

Armin Arlert: Kayleigh’s a very kind person, always looking out for us. But she doesn’t give off that Goddess-vibe, like Christa. Of course, she cares for us, but it’s more like she sees us as her family.

Levi Ackerman: There’s a reason why I chose her to be apart of the Special Operations Squad. She really impressed me in our mission to wipe out the Titans in Trost, even saving the lives of my fellow comrades. She was going to see the mission through to the end and she wasn’t concerned about her kill count or anything as trivial as that. She’s a natural-born leader and that’s all there is to it. Also… her cleaning skills put the others to shame and she makes good tea.

Sasha Braus: She’s my best friend!!! Has been since the first day of Cadet Corps. She ever volunteered to run with me after Shadis gave me that punishment… hehe. She even gave me some of her leftovers after she had dinner… since I wasn’t allowed to eat for an entire week. Ohhh… that was the worst punishment!

Jean Kirstein: Honestly, when I first met her, I did think her ODM skills could do with some work… and after some training with me, she was suddenly a lot better than I was! I didn’t think it was possible at the time, but she’s very much aware of how much fuel she has left, as well as how many blades. She pays attention to things like that! I couldn’t ask for a better comrade if I’m being completely honest!

Petra Ral: When the Captain told us that we were getting a new comrade, who had just come out of the 104th Cadet Corps, I was honestly surprised. But after seeing her in action, I know why he chose her! She’s not only skilled in combat, but she cares for all of us! Sometimes I think that she and Oruo have a rivalry that even she doesn’t know about yet. Also… I think Levi treats her like his own daughter~! Hehe~!

Hanji Zoë: Kayleigh is by far the most capable and kindest girl I’ve ever met. She even helps me catch Titans, without me asking her to! Unlike the rest of the Levi Squad, she wants to help me further my studies! Yahooo! I adore her so much!!!

Erwin Smith: I’ve never met such a kind Scout in my life. Usually, after a few missions, some of them turn sour but not her. She does have a bad habit of thinking about her comrades lives more than her own. But other than that, she’s a model soldier and I wish a lot of the other Scouts would follow her example.

Fun Facts:

She always wears a pink silk scarf that her Father bought for her when she was younger. Taking it off isn’t an option for her. The only time she will is when she’s going to sleep.

She always wears her green cloak, even out of battle, and people often wonder why. The only three people who know are Mikasa, Sasha and Petra. And they won’t tell people why she always wears it. It’s strictly confidential!

Levi tends to dote on her more than the other Cadets, not even realising that he does so. Usually, Hanji will point out that he’s like a Father to her and he will deny it with ever fibre of his being. But if she ever gets hurt… God help the Titan or person who did hurt her.

She carries a journal with her that is absolutely top secret. She likes to put in her thoughts about other people and also about what she’s learned from the higher ups, especially from Commander Erwin. Only Hannes has ever seen what’s inside and he was very impressed with her attention to detail. She has said made it very clear though, that if she ever dies, she wants it to go straight to the higher up of the Scout Regiment, as she believes it will be very useful to their cause.

She holds her blades a certain way so she can perform her own special technique, which wasn’t taught. She learnt it all on her own and is very proud of it. Most people believe that her special technique is a lot like Levi’s, but it couldn’t be any further from it. This technique does allow her to go a lot faster, however she can go from Titan to Titan without taking a scratch with this technique. The first time she ever used it was in Trost to save Jean.

She had a huge crush on Reiner, until it was soon revealed that he was the enemy and she was heartbroken for days after that. Mikasa and Sasha tried to cheer her up, but nothing worked. She felt betrayed and she hated the feeling.

Her Past:

As a young girl, she was a delight to be around and she had admired the Scouts from day one. Exactly a year before Wall Maria was destroyed, she talked her Mother into seeing the Scouts off to their mission and told her that she had a present for ‘Humanities Strongest Soldier’. Helen agreed to watch them and Kayleigh walked up to Levi, giving him a silk cravat that her Father had brought back from Wall Sina. He was surprised, but he took it from her, patting her head as he did so. “Thanks”. “You’re welcome, sir!”

‘I sure hope a sweet girl like her doesn’t intent to join the Scouts’.

A year later, tragedy struck and she watched as the Armoured Titan broke down the inner gate of Wall Maria. A large boulder crushed both of her parents right in front of her and she was carried onto a boat by a Garrison Soldier. Once there, she heard Eren’s speech about destroying the Titans and vowed to do the same to avenge her parents. After many years had passed, she joined the Cadet Corps and vowed to become a Scout. She didn’t get into the top ten, but she wanted to become a Scout nonetheless.

That’s when her actual story starts….

Other Characters She’s Like:

Rias Gremory- Highschool DxD

Strict but fair when it comes to Leadership. She will put her comrades in difficult situations, but she will never let them die.

Asuka- Senran Kagura

Especially kind and sweet, but serious when it comes to her training. Will follow her friends to the very end. She’s also hardworking, but can be clumsy at times.

Dean Winchester- Supernatural

She’s a good fighter and won’t ever give up, but she’s willing to die for her friends. But you don’t want to make her angry. That adorable and sweet look can go the second she’s been betrayed or hurt. And if you ever ask her if she’s okay, she’ll lie to you… because she’s not. She just doesn’t want to talk about it. She hates worrying people, especially Captain Levi, so she won’t say anything until she explodes one day.

Harley Quinn- Suicide Squad

Once again, she’s a good fighter… but once she’s backed into a corner, she won’t hesitate to kill people in order to survive. She’s also incredibly athletic and flexible, as well as strong. She’s loyal to her friends, no matter what and will help them… even if she had to get her hands dirty and go a little crazy.

In Conclusion…

She’s the most adorable and sweet girl in the Scout Regiment, but she’s also very determined and will fight for her friends until the bitter end. She follows orders, no matter how much she might disagree with them. And everyone believes that she’s the only one who can defeat the Armoured Titan, because of her strong will to avenge her parents. Everyone who has ever met her, likes her and believes that she’s what they all need to keep them all motivated. Sure, she didn’t give a speech like Eren did, but it’s not like she had to. She’s a leader, which is why she was excepted by her comrades in the Special Operations Tactical Squad. They all believe that she has a strength within that no one else can claim. Something stronger than revenge. Something stronger than being Humanities Strongest Soldier. All she has in her fragile heart is love. That is what humanity needs to survive. Love.

Thanks for Reading~!!!

#attack on titan #attack on titan 2 game #attack on titan oc #don’t like don’t read

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miekasa · 3 years

Text

homecoming (levi ackerman)

↯ pairing: levi ackerman x (fem) reader

↯ genres and warnings: college au, how many ways can i fit levi’s captain status into the modern world, fluff

↯ notes: i love levi :// and i’m out of gifs to put at the top of these, so when i learn how to make headers i’ll let you guys know. also this isn’t proofread rip in peace

↯ summary: there’s a pretty well known homecoming tradition, and levi’s hoping you’re willing to partake in it.

“So,” you hum, wiping away any crumbs from your mouth, “Are you going to tell me exactly why you wanted to have a picnic at 2:30 in the afternoon on a random Thursday, or am I supposed to wait for a grand reveal?”

Levi rolls his eyes, and sips on his wine, ignoring your incoming giggles. “Can’t I want to take you on a date?” he clicks his tongue, setting his, now empty, plastic wine cup onto the picnic blanket, “Ungrateful brat.”

You smack him on the arm, mouth open in offense; but Levi’s chuckling, shoulder’s shaking at your reaction. “I am a very grateful brat,” you correct him, “But I am also very suspicious one.”

Levi hums, not bothering to reply. Instead, he separates the two halves of his sandwich, wraps one half around a napkin, and hands it to you. You accept it, albeit a little hesitantly, and watch as Levi pays you no mind, biting into his half neatly.

If it were any normal situation, you’d probably try to snap a picture of him—you have somewhat of an ongoing collection of sneaky pictures of Levi on your dates, particularly when he looks cute munching on his food, much to his disdain—but this was not a normal situation.

Levi is acting strange. It’s not just the nature of this date itself—it may be out of character for Levi to want to go on a picnic of all things, but could be quite the romantic at heart, and often planned very quaint dates for the both of you. It was everything that happened since you set up your picnic that was truly out of the ordinary.

Like the way he seemed distracted, getting lost in thought in a way you hadn’t seen before; and how he kept sweeping his hair out of his eyes, and readjusting his small silver earring. If you didn’t know any better, you would think he’s nervous about something.

“Seriously,” you say lightly, carefully setting your half-eaten portion of the sandwich back onto the blanket, “What’s this all about?”

Levi looks at you for a beat, once again using his free hand to brush his dark hair behind his ear, then with suspecting eyes, “You don’t like it?”

Your eyebrows draw together at his questioning, confused by the lack of sarcasm, or even hurt in his tone; like he was genuinely surprised.

“What? No, Levi, that’s not what I meant,” you assure him, “I just mean that this isn’t really us. You hate eating outside—you always make us wait for indoor seating—and, if I’m being honest, I’ve never seen a couple go on a picnic in real life.”

Levi reaches to pour more cheap wine into your faux glasses, “I guess romance really is dead.”

You squint your eyes, carefully tracking his movements as he hands you a plastic cup before refilling his own. Levi isn’t one to dodge questions, or any kind of confrontation. Now you know for sure that something’s up.

“Levi,” you call gently, feeling like you finally have his full focus when his eyes meet yours, “What’s going on?”

His gaze softens at your question this time, and you finally see a hint of the Levi you know behind his expression. He sighs, carefully closing the boxed wine, and taking his cup into his hand. With a slight head nod, he motions for you to come closer, and you obiiently shuffle closer to him, until you’re sitting side by side.

You take the liberty of resting your head on his shoulder, cheek soft against his coat. You can hear him take a deep breath, feel his exhale deflate his shoulders, before he speaks.

“Homecoming is next weekend,” he starts, “You’re going, yeah?”

You hum in affirmation, watching as he takes a careful sip from his cup before continuing.

“There’s this tradition. It’s stupid as shit, if you ask me, so you don’t have to say yes,” he mumbles, lips barely off of the plastic, before he takes another sip. “But, if you’re dating someone, they’re supposed to show up to the game in your jersey.”

You snap your head up from his shoulder, blinking at Levi and the implications of his words, as you begin to piece together the mystery of his actions from this afternoon. Levi—your Levi—took you on a picnic, complete with homemade sandwiches and cheap wine, to ask you to be his date to his homecoming game.

Your stunned silence is filled with light breeze that brushes past your hair, and makes Levi return to brushing his away again. He drinks in your expression, grey eyes growing cloudy as he assumes the worst of your silence.

“Like I said, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he explains cooly, bringing his cup to his mouth again for a bitter sip, “I didn’t know if you were going to stick around for the whole day anyways, you’ve probably got other shit to—”

You kiss him quiet. Levi is surprised at first, jolts a little bit when your actions cause him to spill some of his drink, but he kisses you back, a small wave of relief washing over him. At least he didn’t make a complete fool of himself just now.

“Of course I’ll wear your jersey, Levi.”

Most parents and alumni stuck around for the traditional football game, but the boys’ soccer team was always popular amongst students, and for good reason.

Not only did the university’s team have an exceptional record, but they had no shortage of eye-candy playing for them, either. Even the team’s managers were pretty cute. You were certain players like Armin Arlert and Eren Jaeger were not plastered all over the university website solely for their soccer skills.

Though, good looks aside, they were undeniably good, and made a damn impressive pair on the field. However, most of the crowd would agree that Jaeger, Arlert, and the entire team, could thank their captain for their win today.

You step onto the field with a wide grin as you watch Levi’s team wrangle him into the middle of their circle and toss him up in the air unceremoniously. You almost want to capture the moment for yourself, but to your left, Hange is already recording a video you’re certain Levi would threaten to have deleted.

Most of the mob had fizzled away after the exciting win, leaving behind the team themselves, and a couple of students—likely friends or family of the athletes. After their final huddle, the boys begin to dissipate, greet the remaining crowd. Hange leaves you to badger Erwin, who had been sitting out due to an injury.

You spot Levi carefully picking up his duffel bag, and take the opportunity to run up to him, encase in a sudden and warm hug. You wrap your arms around his neck, and Levi has but a moment’s notice to secure his hands around your back and steady your bodies, lest you both fall to the ground from your uncoordinated momentum.

“You played so well!” you exclaim, pulling back from your hug, but keeping your palms on his shoulders, bouncing excitedly, “I knew you were good, but I didn’t know you were that good! You’ve never played like that before!”

Levi admits to tuning out your praise in favor of drinking in your appearance. The green of his away jersey looks good against your skin, the fabric somewhat loose on your frame. His eyes trail down to the sleeve, a minuscule smirk growing on his lips as he reads his last name in all capital letters underneath his number.

“Come on, Hange and I are taking you guys out for lunch!” your words snap him back to reality, “Anything you want, it’s on me, Captain.”

Levi rolls his tongue against his inner cheek. That’s a promise he’d have to take you up on later. For now, he plays along with your childlike enthusiasm, agreeing to your plans.

He motions for the two of you to get going, but his stride is blocked when you refuse to move from in front of him. Instead, you let your hands crawl from his shoulder to his neck, fingers tickling the hairs at his nape, before you pull him forward into a gentle kiss.

“You really were great, Levi,” you tell him again, pressing another kiss to his lips sweetly.

Levi hums, indulging you one more time, before he hears gasps and not-so-subtle exclamations of “Captain has a girlfriend?!” coming from his annoying teammates. He scoffs when he pulls back to see Jaeger looking at him with his mouth open so wide he could catch flies.

“You’re kind of ruining my reputation,” Levi tells you, but there’s no real bark to his tone.

It’s your turn to scoff, slowly trailing your hands down his arms, and eventually back to your side. You turn and the both of you begin to walk, not before you note, “You ruined your own reputation when you invited me and Hange here.”

“I’ll drink to that.”

“Hey!” you whine, frown deepening as Levi chuckles at you, “You’re not supposed to agree, asshole.”

Levi doesn’t stop laughing, but gently wraps his arms around your shoulder as the both of you follow behind Hange and Erwin, and back to your car.

“Don’t think your unusual displays of affection are going to make me forgive you,” you pout, but reach your hand to wrap your fingers around his anyways; Levi doesn’t even bother to hide his smirk, “I don’t care if you scored the winning goal or not, just for that, I’m only buying you one appetizer.”

Levi hums noncommittally. That’s fine, he could think of at least three other things he would rather you do for him instead when you both got home. With and without that jersey on.

#aot x reader #snk x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #aot imagines #snk imagines #levi ackerman fluff #levi ackerman smut #eren x reader

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shingekinohyrulewrites · 2 years

Text

Soft & Tender is the Night

You meet Dr. Eren Jaeger when he comes to tend to your sick mother. Out of that chance encounter, a tender love emerges.

Read on AO3 here

WARNING : THERE BE SMUT AHEAD 18+

Your mother was sick.

It had been exactly four days since she had begun coughing, the sound echoing throughout the lavish halls of your home. At first, everyone had dismissed it, assuming it was merely dust in the air or the change in weather. On the second day, the cough sounded more drawn out, a slight wheeze at the end of each one. You had worried that entire night, the sound of her wheezing reaching your bedroom. On the third day, your mother had decided to stay in bed, hoping that lack of activity would help.

Now, on the fourth day, she was weak and exhausted, the coughing seeming to come from deep within her chest. Your father, worried, had sent for the local doctor, pacing nervously in the front room as he waited. Being the oldest daughter, you sat in the entry room watching him, back straight as a rod as your eyes followed your father. He kept nervously peering at the door, running his hands exasperatedly through his hair.

“What could possibly be taking this man so long? I don’t pay him good money to take his time to rush over here.”

“I’m sure he has a reason, Father,” you replied, giving him a small nod. “I am most certain he has other patients as well.”

He glared at you, causing you to shrink down slightly in his seat.

“As the richest family in this town, I would expect the good doctor to come running. If he is not here in the next minute I am going to send you to fetch him yourself.”

“Yes, Father.”

He resumed his pacing then, mumbling under his breath about prioritizing other people instead of your mother. You stood, brushing your dress down in preparation to leave when there was a series of swift knocks on the door.

Your father threw the door open, frowning at the man before him.

“Dr. Jaeger, I sent for you a while ago. Is there some reason why you are only arriving now?”

The doctor bowed, standing up and removing his lenses to wipe them.

“I sincerely apologize. There was a carriage accident on the way here and I gave aid to a few of the injured. If I’m not mistaken, it was Lord Reiss and his daughter, Lady Historia Reiss. My son knows her well so he insisted we assist her.”

He stepped aside then, revealing a man who was the younger spitting image of himself. Just like his father, he bowed his head, long, brown hair falling in front of his handsome face.

“My sincerest apologies. It is not in my heart to ignore those in need.”

Your father stepped back, surprise flickering across his face.

“Ah, Dr. Jaeger, I was not aware you had a son.”

The good doctor nodded, stepping aside to let his son enter before he did so himself.

“He is following in my footsteps and becoming a doctor as well. He has finished up at the local university and is now my apprentice.”

“Well, congratulations to him, Doctor . . .?”

The young man held out his hand, a gentle smile gracing his face.

“Eren. Dr. Eren Jaeger.”

Your eyes drank in his appearance, tan skin and all. His teal eyes were the sky above, shining on a beautiful summer day. His hair, a deep shade of chocolate so sweet and delicious. His lips, full, soft, and pink, reminiscent of a rose in bloom. His eyes flickered over to you then, curiosity alighting his eyes as he turned and gave a deep bow.

“My Lord, I sincerely apologize again. I was not aware you had a Lady here.”

Your father turned to you then.

“This is my oldest daughter. She was just about to fetch you, actually.”

You bowed, introducing yourself meekly. Eren reached for your hand, placing a gentle kiss on it as he looked deep into your eyes. Heat rushed to your cheeks, heart beating quickly as you quickly looked away.

“It’s a pleasure, my Lady.”

“Dr. Eren, I will have my daughter escort you to my wife. I want to discuss something quickly with your father.”

You sucked in a breath, bowing and replying with a quick “yes Father” before turning to the young man and gesturing for him to follow. Your mother’s room was at the opposite end of your home, which meant you had time to talk to the young doctor.

“Forgive me for asking, but how old are you?”

You looked at Eren from the corner of your eye.

“I . . . just turned 20.”

Eren smiled. “I am just shy of 26.”

“Did you want to pursue medicine like your father?”

The question caused him to sigh, long, tan fingers reaching up to tousle his hair.

“I did not have much of a choice. My older brother, Zeke . . . well, he up and left our family. I’m the only son left, so I needed to keep the family name going.”

He fidgeted with his fingers now.

“I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to see what it had to offer and just live off the Earth. But when Zeke left . . . that plan disappeared. I had no choice but to put aside my dreams and pursue a career in medicine.”

Your heart dropped in your chest upon hearing his words.

“I’m . . . so sorry to hear that.”

He waved his hand dismissively.

“No worries. I’ve accepted my fate. I’ve enjoyed it so far, so I cannot complain.”

The rest of the walk to your Mother’s room was silent, your footsteps echoing in the empty corridor. You quietly opened the door, letting him know your Father would join him soon. He thanked you, a soft smile gracing his face as he bade you a goodbye and shuffled to your Mother’s bedside.

The remainder of your day was spent in your room, knees pulled to your chest as you thought about pink roses and sweet chocolate.

***

It was another three weeks before you saw Dr. Eren Jaeger again.

Your family had been invited to the Mayor’s Ball and you were in need of a new gown. Since the weather was fair, you decided to walk yourself to the town square, humming to yourself absently. As you passed the herb shop, a familiar figure emerged, a basket tucked neatly at his elbow. When he turned towards you, your heart stopped and you froze in your tracks.

Dr. Eren gave you a smile, lips slowly curving up as he gave you a polite bow. You returned it with a deep curtsy, a slight blush on your cheeks.

“Why, my Lady, what a pleasure. I hope your Mother is doing well.”

“She is, thank you. Her coughs have ceased and she is enjoying the daily fresh air and walks to the beach.”

He smiled softly again. “I’m glad to hear that.”

You two stood awkwardly for a second before he cleared his throat.

“Forgive me for intruding, but what are you doing in town?”

“My family was invited to the Mayor’s ball. I’m here to pick out a new gown.”

“If you don’t mind, I would love to accompany you as you walk.”

He offered his arm, peering down at you gently. You gladly took it, relishing in the feel of his warmth against you as you slowly strolled towards the dress shop. He talked about light topics: the weather, his father, a young patient he had recently seen, his childhood friends. By the time you stepped into the dress shop, you felt as if you had known him forever.

The woman behind the counter bowed, her eyes immediately falling on Eren. You ignored her, walking around to glance at the gowns displayed.

“Oh, Dr. Jaeger! It’s a pleasure to see you. I haven’t seen you in quite a while.”

“Hannah, hello. It is a pleasure indeed, I hope you’ve been well.”

They chatted for a while, Eren politely conversing with her while Hannah flirted obviously with him. A strange burning sensation filled your body, causing you to grit your teeth as you studied each dress. You had about given up when one last gown caught your attention. Hannah noticed and excused herself from Eren, bustling over to you.

“My Lady, has this gown caught your eye?”

Your fingers ran over the material.

“Yes, it has, actually. Would you be so kind as to assist me with putting it on?”

Eren shuffled his feet awkwardly.

“I best be going. I don’t want to, ah, invade your privacy.”

He walked over to you, taking your hand and kissing it just like the first time you met. Smiling, he turned and departed the store. You spent the remainder of the time in the dress shop imagining dancing with him in your gown.

***

You saw Eren again a fortnight later at the Mayor’s Ball. You were being escorted by your Father, who was determined to find you a husband that night. Marriage had been the only thing on his mind recently, as he wanted to marry you off and have you settle down with someone rich. You tried to hide your anxiety at the thought of marriage as you entered the Mayor’s home, music playing in the distance from the ballroom. You curtseyed as sweetly as possible, giving him a soft smile as he greeted you and your Father.

“My Lord, my Lady, truly an honor to have you in my home. I hope you two have been well.”

The two exchanged pleasantries as they began to converse. You knew your Father had an eye on the mayor’s son, Jean, who was a little older than you. While Jean was indeed handsome, you weren’t a fan of his large ego and how every girl in your town threw themselves at him. You had heard whispers that many of those girls had ended up in his bed, and that Jean was always looking for his next lay. The Mayor called for him and Jean was immediately in front of you, a wide grin on his handsome face.

“My Lady, what a pleasure to see you.”

Before you could respond, the sound of a man clearing his throat behind you had you turning. Dr. Jaeger and Eren were standing there, both looking very put together and handsome. Both of them had swept their long hair, tying it neatly behind them. Dr. Jaeger had opted for a low ponytail while Eren’s hair was pulled into a low bun. They bowed, greeting each of you. Eren reached for your hand, eyes watching yours as he pressed a kiss against it. His eyes raked all over your figure as you curtseyed in response.

You had chosen an opulent red gown, gold accents tracing down the sleeves and on the bodice of it. The sleeves were adorned with white lace at the end, delicately clinging to your wrists. The gown pooled out beneath you, the red fanning out to create a gorgeous halo around you. The bodice was pulled tightly, your breasts pushed up to create the illusion of a full chest. You had wanted something modest but coy, letting the men know that you were “ready” for marriage but a decent woman by society’s standards.

While the other men began to speak again, Eren leaned forward and whispered to you.

“You look absolutely stunning. Excuse me for being so crude, but I wish to run my fingers along your figure.”

You shivered at his words, biting your lip as you looked away. His father bade you a goodbye, excusing himself as the Jaegers walked away. Turning to the Mayor, you gave him your best smile before speaking.

“I think it is due time that Father and I get settled in, isn’t that correct, Father?”

He nodded, craning his neck to look past you.

“I must agree, I see a few people I need to speak with.”

The two of you made your way deeper into the Mayor’s home, weaving in between the groups of people. The band was at the front, playing a merry tune as you settled at a table adjacent to the dance floor. Coyly looking around you, you spotted Eren across the room, his eyes fixed on you. A small smirk pulled at his lips as he gave you a slight nod before quickly turning away.

The banquet began not long after, the band easing into a slower, calmer song as everyone ate. Your Father talked business with the men at your table, joking about marrying you off and guffawing loudly at the mens’ reactions. Tuning them out, you focused instead on your meal, impatient for the meal to be over so you could begin dancing.

A young woman stepped to the stage, eyes low as she took her place in front of the band. The room fell silent as all eyes fell on her, waiting for her lips to open. The band began to pluck a song and her sweet voice echoed throughout the room. The Mayor stood, turning to his wife and bowing, silently asking her to dance. She complied, allowing him to lead her to the dance floor where they took their position. They lifted their hands, holding them up as they spun around each other. Their eyes never strayed, moving perfectly as they moved apart before coming back again.

The woman stepped back and the band played an opening note for a barriera dance. Your heart fluttered at the thought of possibly dancing with Eren. All hopes were dashed, however, when you saw Jean making a beeline for you. You quickly turned your head away, hoping and praying that he would be interrupted or asked by someone else. Your father turned his head, smiling widely.

“Ah, Dr. Eren, how may I help you?”

“My Lord, I would love the pleasure of dancing with your daughter, if I may have your permission.”

“Of course!” he clapped a hand on Eren’s shoulder. “Anything for the man who saved my wife.”

He turned to you then, outstretching his hand. You tried to hide your grin as you stood up, bowing to your father in thanks before making your way to the dance floor. The barriera began then, the two of you holding hands as you spun in a half circle. You stepped apart, eyes staying locked as you moved back. He gently grabbed your hand as you stepped forward. His fingers gently traced yours, his thumb reaching down to stroke the back of your hand. You bit your lip, trying to focus as you continued on with the steps before turning back around. When he held your hand again, he squeezed it this time, his thumb reaching down again to stroke you.

By the time the dance ended, you felt warm. Extremely warm. Sensing your discomfort, Eren escorted you back to your table and leaned down towards your Father.

“Forgive me, but I sense that your daughter needs some fresh air after this dance. Would you mind me escorting her out to the gardens?”

Your Father waved your hand dismissively, cheeks red from the alcohol he was consuming.

“Of course! Please! I trust you, Dr. Eren.”

With that, you two were departing for the garden. He pulled your hand as you ran down the stairs, leading you past the main path towards the large fountains and instead to a hidden corridor under the balcony. You could hear the chatter of the partygoers above.

“Eren, if someone sees us -”

He held up a finger to your lip.

“I assure you, no one will find us here. No one will hear us here, either.”

You blinked up at him.

“How do you know about this place?”

He leaned in, pressing your body against the wall.

“I take care of the Mayor’s family. They wanted me to take over to ensure I will take care of their family for as long as possible.”

His hand slowly reached up, cupping your jaw as he studied your face.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since the moment I met you, my Lady.”

With those words, he pressed his lips against yours gently. They were softer than you imagined and just as plush. The hand cupping your jaw began to stroke you slowly, causing you to lean into his touch as he pulled away. His eyes seemed to be shining in the night, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

“You’re just as sweet, if not sweeter, than I imagined.”

***

That was the beginning of your affair with Dr. Eren Jaeger. You had left the ball tingling all over, the feel of his lips on yours lasting for the rest of the night. He had promised to stop by and see you some time that week, and you told him you were looking forward to it. Your father had been oblivious to how happy you were and had attributed it to the dancing you had done.

Just like Eren had promised, he was on your doorstep that Monday morning. He was dressed sharper, hair pulled into a loose bun with a few strands loose framing his face. Your father was surprised to see him but pleased nonetheless.

“Good morning, my Lord. I am here to check on your wife and, if you would allow me, to escort your daughter out for the day.”

The surprise on your father’s face grew but he obliged. He deemed your mother much healthier than before and escorted you out. You spent the day walking the local park, walking continuous laps as you chatted about this and that. When he noticed you were a bit tired, he led you over to a more secluded part of the park. The trees grew close together, creating a lush overhang casting deep shadows of shade. The two of you sat close together, basking in the coolness as you tried to bring back the previous conversation. However, Eren was quickly distracted by the vast expanse of your neck and quickly latched his lips onto it.

You returned home a little after sunset, face flushed as you tried to hide the marks scattered about your neck and chest. Thankfully your father was in the den with a few friends, entertaining them, so you made a dash to your room. Eren’s lips had felt magical on your neck and you knew you wanted to feel them again very soon.

Eren didn’t call for two weeks after that. He dropped a note off at your home stating that he was away tending to a very ill patient and that he would try to see you when he returned. You were lethargic and impatient as you waited for him to come, trying to hide your sour mood from your parents. When the two weeks passed and he still hadn’t called, you began to give up and thought that maybe he had forgotten about you.

Your mind was changed, however, when he came calling a week later. He seemed flushed when you opened the door, cheeks red as he nervously avoided looking at you.

“I’m sure you must hate me,” he blurted out. “I’m so sorry. I’ve had so many patients to tend to.”

“I thought you had forgotten about me,” you confessed softly.

His eyes widened, furiously shaking his head as he gently placed a hand on your shoulder.

“I could never. A woman as beautiful as you is hard to forget.”

You blushed, looking away as he chuckled under his breath. He asked to take you out and you happily obliged.

***

“Marriage? Eren, you cannot be serious?”

Two months had gone by and you were head over heels for Dr. Eren Jaeger. The two of you were currently sitting on a bench in the park, the sun beginning to set on the horizon. Small groups of people were walking about, taking in the cool air of the incoming night. He had turned to look at you suddenly, a light blush on his cheeks as he fidgeted with his fingers. You had stared at him, eyebrows raised as you questioned what the matter was.

“Yes. I want to marry you, my Lady.”

You blinked furiously, trying to process what he had just said.

“You . . . you mean it?”

“But of course. I know your father wants to marry you to a man with good standing and, well . . .”

He frowned, looking down at his lap.

“I do very well for myself, and I come from a long family of doctors, so our social and financial standing is beyond well. But . . .”

“But?”

He sighed.

“I don’t want your father to think that I’m only marrying you to climb up the social ladder.”

“Eren.”

He slowly lifted his head at your serious tone, eyes guarded but curious. You reached over to place a hand over his, squeezing it affectionately.

“My father adores you. If he didn’t, he would not allow you to come out and accompany me.”

“I suppose you are right,” he sighed again.

He stood up then, wiping his pants before extending his hand out to yours.

“Shall we go ask him for permission?”

***

Your father had been elated with the news. Just like you had told Eren, your father absolutely adored him and had quickly given the both of you his blessings. He was quick to spread the news about town, sending servants to the homes of the other Lords in town to let them know. By the end of the evening, many people had come to congratulate you, sending you nothing but good wishes. The two of you had happily accepted them, excited to be building a new future together.

The Mayor and his son, Jean, were the last ones to come calling. Eren was about to leave for the night, promising to come by tomorrow to discuss wedding plans with your family when a series of loud knocks rang on the door. The Mayor was standing there, a tense smile on his face as Jean scowled behind him.

“I have heard the news. Congratulations.”

His tone was sardonic, cold, hardened. He pushed you aside, walking up to your father slowly.

“My Lord, congratulations to you. I am sure you are happy to have your daughter finally married off.”

“Thank you Mayor, I appreciate that.”

“You know, I had been under the impression that your daughter would be marrying my son Jean. At least, it appeared that way at our ball.”

Your father stiffened, standing up taller as he hardened his expression.

“Let us move to the sitting room. Come.”

The two men departed, leaving you alone with Eren and Jean. The tension in the room was obvious, with the two men standing deliberately apart. Jean was looking at your fiance with an angry look, handsome features turned up into a scowl.

“Jaeger. Congratulations on your engagement. Of course, it’s supposed to be my engagement we are celebrating, but . . . I suppose . . .”

Eren stepped forward protectively, body coming to stand in front of you.

“Mr. Kirstein, please. Let’s not cause a scene in the Lord’s home.”

“Mr. Kirstein. Drop the formalities, Jaeger. What, did you come into my home, listen to my conversations and decide to steal the Lady from me?”

“Jean -” you tried but he put up a hand to stop you.

“You come into my home to treat me and this is what I get in return?”

“Oh please, Jean, the reason I come into your home is to treat the various venereal diseases you get from sleeping with every woman you come across.”

You froze, surprised at hearing the venom in Eren’s voice. He took another subtle step forward to shield you further from Jean.

“A man like you will never deserve a woman like my Lady. No matter how much money you pay and how much power you have, she will never be yours.”

Jean seemed to have turned to stone, face impassive as he merely stared at Eren. His father emerged from the sitting room, face just as pale as Jean’s. He didn’t bother to look in your direction as he mumbled for Jean to follow him out. Your father emerged then, looking quite pleased with himself.

“Well, that conversation went quite well. Dr. Jaeger, I am so sorry that you had to be here for that. Please, let me give you a carriage home.”

***

The following weekend, your parents were going out of town to meet with old friends and family to invite them to the wedding. You were left alone, expected to continue planning the wedding and attending fittings for your dress. They left early Friday morning, the sun not yet risen as they left town. You awoke in the late morning, relishing in the warm sunlight and quiet of the home. You ate breakfast in your backyard, smiling at the sound of the birds singing and the fresh breeze flowing through. Your afternoon was spent in town, trying on a wedding dress and gossiping with the tailor. Dinner was once again in the backyard, the moon serving as your source of light.

Candle in hand, you made your way around your home to ensure that all of your windows and doors were locked. You were walking back to your room when someone knocked on the front door.

“Love? It’s Eren. Are you home?”

You opened the door to reveal Eren. He took in your appearance and raised an eyebrow.

“Is . . . everything okay?”

You let him in, making sure no one saw him slip in. He seemed to have come from seeing a patient, dress shirt still tucked into his neat slacks as he peered down at you. Smiling, he lifted his hands and cupped your cheeks before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“I hear your parents left you all alone. I came to check on you on my way home.”

You gave him a soft smile.

“That was very sweet of you, love.”

The way his eyes glazed over your figure, clad in only a thin nightgown, did not go unnoticed by you. Shuffling his feet, he took the candle from your hand and cleared his throat.

“Well, we best be off to bed then.”

“B-bed?” you stammered out.

Being a proper young lady, you had been told to never share your bed with a man until you were married. Anything before was considered shameful and would lead to becoming a tainted woman. However, your desire for Eren and attraction to him had you tossing all morals out the window. The thought of sharing a bed with him sent shivers down your spine, but you fought the fear and pushed it down.

“But of course. The hour is late and you need your rest.”

Nodding, you began leading the way to your bedroom. The two of you stepped in and Eren took the time to examine it, making sure to draw the curtains tight before setting the candle down on the nightstand.

“I’m going to borrow some sleeping clothes from your father. I will return.”

Biting your lip, you decided to slip into bed and pulled the covers tight against your chest. Eren returned shortly after, a white sleeping shirt in his hands.

“I will accompany you, my love. Let me change.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks as he stepped out of his shoes and began unbuttoning his pants. You let your eyes study the muscles of his long legs, the tanned color of his skin glowing in the faint candlelight. As he reached up to begin unbuttoning his shirt, you allowed yourself to get lost in his long fingers, memorizing the way he plucked at each button. The shirt slipped off his shoulders, revealing toned shoulders and a muscled chest. Your mouth went dry as your eyes dipped lower, reveling in his abs and . . .

You swallowed thickly.

Eren pulled the shirt on and slowly made his way over to your bed. He slid in and awkwardly laid himself beside you.

“Hi,” he whispered.

“Hi.”

You sunk lower into the pillows, trying to make yourself comfortable as you tried to forget that your fiance was lying in bed next to you. The candle flickered, sending soft glows across his face. His eyelashes fluttered across his cheeks as he blinked, cerulean eyes watching you intently.

“You are so beautiful.”

And with that, he kissed you. Eren had kissed you before, dozens of times actually, but this time felt new. There was a hidden urgency behind it, a desperateness that you were trying to piece together. One hand came up to tangle in your hair, the other resting at the back of your neck. His lips parted, exhaling a shaky breath as he tried to regain his composure.

“Love, I don’t think I’ll be able to hold myself back,” he admitted with a broken voice.

Your heart stopped. The thoughts of being a proper woman, of pleasing her husband and staying pure until your wedding day, rang in your head once again. But your love for him ran stronger, and you knew he would still love you regardless.

“Then don’t stop,” you replied breathlessly.

Eren kissed you again, tongue sneaking out to swipe at your bottom lip. You smiled into the kiss, opening your mouth to let him fully taste you. The hand tangled in your hair tightened, pulling slightly to leave your roots tingling. His other hand began to angle your head so you could deepen the kiss.

When you pulled apart to breathe, his tanned cheeks were flushed, eyes half closed with lust. Silently, he pushed your shoulder to prod you to lay completely on your back.

“I want to see your body, fully, wholly, love. Will you let me?”

You gave a shy nod. Smiling, Eren shuffled himself so he was kneeling in front of you. With a shaking hand, he slowly began to lift your nightgown, letting it pool above your chest.

“Beautiful,” he whispered.

He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on your belly. Smiling, he peered up at you before leaving a trail of kisses upwards towards your chest. He seemed to hesitate before sucking in a breath and pulling a nipple into your mouth. The other hand immediately reached for the other and tugged on it.

You couldn’t help the moan you let out. Embarrassed, you covered your mouth with a hand.

“I want to hear you, love. I want to make sure I’m making you feel good.”

With that, he bit down a little harder. Sparks flew up your spine as pleasure began to course through you. The feeling was unfamiliar but felt so good. He continued his ministrations before releasing your nipple and beginning to kiss down. Your back arched as he got lower before he stopped and pressed a kiss against your inner thigh.

“I want to taste you. I want to memorize how you taste and keep it in my memory for the rest of my life.”

You didn’t have time to respond before he dove into your core, allowing himself to get lost in your folds. This time, you didn’t hold back from moaning loudly. You felt his tongue deep inside of you, one finger reaching up to rub your clit. The pleasure this time was intense and you continued to moan, one hand reaching out to grab onto his dark locks. He seemed to get spurred on by the sensation, tongue trying to go deeper as he began rubbing faster.

“E-Eren,” you choked out, back arching again as you embraced the arousal running through you.

He paused, pulling back to peer up at you. Your legs shook as you could see your fluids glistening on his chin in the soft candlelight. Falling back onto your pillow, you gestured for him to continue.

Eren did so happily, taking his time to savor you. His tongue felt wondrous inside of you, rubbing against your walls and making you feel slightly stuffed. The finger rubbing your clit matched the rhythm of his tongue, and it wasn’t long before you were having the first orgasm of your life. It started at your toes before moving up, tickling your spine and erupting in your core. The moan you let out was shameful, but you didn’t care if it meant you could continue to feel this good.

Eren pulled back, smiling softly at you as he wiped his chin on the back of his hand. Reaching behind him, he yanked off his shirt and awkwardly pulled off his undergarments. Your eyes went wide as he took in his . . . appendage.

The girls in your village had often talked about their encounters shamelessly, comparing their lovers’ sizes and talking about the ecstasy they felt. You knew that the first time would hurt, but now, seeing Eren, you knew you were in for some pain.

“I’ll take it slow, my love. I need you to relax for me.”

He positioned himself in front of you again, leaning forward as he aligned himself to your core. You felt yourself tightening up with nervousness. Sensing your apprehension, he leaned down and kissed you gently.

“Sh, it’s okay. Just relax. I’m here with you.”

With that, you allowed your body to loosen up. He continued on, sucking in a breath before slowly pushing himself into you. The first thing you felt was pain. You had never been stretched out this way and it hurt. Clutching at the bed sheets tightly, you screwed your eyes shut as you tried to push through it.

“S-sorry,” Eren gasped out. “I’ll s-stop. You just feel so g-good love.”

He stopped, panting out as he felt how tight you were around him. The urge to just buck his hips against yours harshly was strong, but the pain was evident on your face. Your soft features were pinched up, knuckles white as you grabbed the sheets.

“K-keep going,” you urged.

Eren complied, pushing in a little more. The pain became stronger before it began to subside and was replaced by pleasure. You lifted your hips slightly, relishing in the feeling of him inside of you. Noticing your reaction, he continued to push until he was completely in you.

A moment of stillness befell you before he warned you he was going to thrust. Pulling back, he snapped his hips against yours, causing a yelp to tumble out of your mouth. Grinning, he repeated the action, making sure to start off with a slow pace. He gauged your face, watching as your frown slowly smoothed out and pure bliss overtook your features. He began to pick up the pace, the bed beginning to creak and slam against the wall as he began to thrust faster. By this point, you were moaning loudly and shamelessly, so lost in the feeling that you just wanted more.

“I-I don’t think I’m going to last much longer,” Eren admitted, sweat beginning to form across his forehead.

A second orgasm was beginning to build, the familiar tingle forming in your core and slowly spreading to your abdomen. It took a sudden sharp thrust to release it, and you came around him, moaning his name as you rode through it. The feeling of you tightening against him was what ended him, and he spilled himself into you as he groaned out your name.

He collapsed against you, sticky with sweat as he tried to regain his breath. You wrapped your arms around him, nuzzling against his neck as you breathed in his musky scent. The two of you stayed like that, still joined together as your breaths slowed down and returned to normal. Eren pushed himself up, pulling himself out of you before flopping down next to you.

“That was glorious,” he whispered into the darkness.

Giggling, you pulled the covers up over the both of you. You curled into his side, a strong arm coming up to wrap around you.

“I love you. I cannot wait to be yours eternally.”

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin imagine #attack on titan imagine #eren jaeger #eren yaeger #eren yaeger imagine #eren jaeger x reader #renaissance au #doctor patient relationship #slow build #slow romance #eventual smut

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fandomvariousness · 3 years

Text

Pairing: Levi x reader

Warnings: mild angst, violence, swearing, smut: slight dacryphilia, choking, slight masochism, slight dumbification, power play, unprotected sex

Summary: you’re an untruly scout in Levi’s squad and he let’s you know exactly how he feels when he pays you a visit during your punishment task

Word count: 3.6k

All hell broke loose if it was one of the worse days.

Your hot-headed disposition was a challenge to deal with in the first place, but if you felt a tad annoyed that day… Let’s just say punishments were as natural to you as breathing air.

It took slightest things to piss off Captain Levi – an irritated glance after he scolded you, a quiet remark you’d use to talk back and he, of course, would hear it. Simply put – you were disobedient. Yet even then you were an indispensable soldier – resourceful, intelligent, and absolutely fearless. Much like a wildfire – once you blaze, it’s hard to put you out.

Even so, Captain Levi eventually chose you to be a part of his new squad. Yes, he never encountered such an erratic human being that’s basically impossible to control, the traits that go against his every bullet point in describing a proper soldier, but he knew he would be an absolute fool if he’d go that massive potential of yours go to waste.

Countless times he wanted to kick you off the squad for being an unbearable brat, yet he didn’t. Often, you yourself wondered why.

✃

The squad has been on a minor expedition outside the walls for training purposes, so all of you were headed to the nearest cottage safe house.

After a tiring day of training, when the sun was setting down, you were all sitting outside, enjoying the last remnants of warmth in the air. Captain was sauntering inside the cottage, probably inspecting each crack and crevice after you all spend the first half of the day cleaning it.

It would be such a nice evening if Eren and Mikasa would argue a bit quieter. In fact, Mikasa was calmly saying something to Eren, while the latter, being basically as hot-headed as you, was arguing against her every word.

It pissed you off when they were like that, because it’s obvious Mikasa would do anything for Eren. Either he is so daft and doesn’t get it, or he doesn’t care. You never admitted to yourself that you’re jealous that Eren has someone who cares for him, while you have no one. Not even your family which was once very big – you had lots of cousins, aunts and uncles. Now, only you remain.

“Oi,” you exclaimed. “could you just tone it down a bit?”

Eren’s fiery gaze snapped towards you in a second. “Stay out of this!”

Now, you knew it’s none of your business, but you hated being talked to like that, much less ordered. You stood up in a swift motion from where you were leaning against a bench and turned your body to face Eren.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’ve no interest in what you’re crying about, Jaeger, but you’re not even listening to Mikasa, that much is obvious.”

Others were starting to pay attention too – they knew that when the two of you started bickering, often it’d turn into something more… interesting.

“You know what else is obvious?” he asked, his voice challenging. “That you act all brave and fearless, but in reality you’re just a restless child acting as if she lost her dummy!”

You felt that familiar tickling feeling of your temper rising, firing you up until you eventually lose yourself and act upon instincts that keep you alive and going.

You chuckled curtly. “Me? You’re calling me a child?”

Tauntingly, you’ve stepped closer to him. Eren knew that it’s not smart to wind you up like that, you’re still friends, good friends – it just so happened that you’re both in a bad mood today.

“At least I can wipe my own ass without Mikasa’s help.” you finished your sentence just before Eren grabbed a fistful of your collar and roughly pulled you flush against him, both of your impulsive auras conflicting with each other.

You growled as you pushed him away in a swift, forceful motion, earning a murderous glare from him.

It took so little to get you angry. Even though you pushed him away, that unruly part of yours stepped close to him again as you dug your forefinger in his chest in a threatening manner.

“Don’t touch me, you, whiny bitch,” you spat out, your voice dripping with venom – you were already blazing, and there was no going back.

Eren slapped your hand away. “Who you’re calling a whiny bitch? I wasn’t the one who cried into the pillow for two weeks after driving Reiner and Bertholdt away!”

Now, you can be reckless, wild, fiery… But Eren can be cruel.

The reason you were so devastated after finding out your two best friends were your mortal enemies was because with them you felt like you’ve had family again – both of them reminded you of your older brothers. You shared your feelings with Eren in confidence, and he just blurted it out in front of everyone.

“Fuck it,” you thought as you launched a punch at his face with a primal scream.

By now the others knew not to interfere in your fights, not even Mikasa. God knows they tried, and it made it even worse.

Eren fell to the ground with a hard thud before you quickly straddled him and lifted up your bent hand to launch another punch at his bloody nose.

The bastard was quick to react nevertheless as he met your fist with his palm and squeezed it, slapping you off of him with his free hand in a swift motion. The second your own body collided with the grass you were already scrambling with your hands and feet to get up.

As you turned to Eren with the intention to ram him to the ground again, he was already on his legs as well. The others were still shouting for you two to break it up, knowing that it’s only a matter of time before Captain Levi shows up.

Not thinking straight, you did exactly what you wanted, you launched yourself at him and picked him like a flower stem, both of you flying to the ground again, followed by a sickening thump.

Your vision was getting blurry from all the rage and adrenaline as you lifted up your fist, charged with savage energy, ready to collide with Eren’s already battered face, yet it never happened. It never happened because someone else was gripping your wrist so hard, almost stopping the blood flow.

You snapped your head back to see murderous look in Captain’s gray eyes.

Still gripping your wrist, he jerked you back like a rag doll, painfully sending you to the ground, away from Eren.

It fell so quiet you could hear the clouds passing.

Levi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I will kill both of you.”

“Right,” he continued. “when everyone’s going to sleep after this long, tiring day, you brats are going to sweep this house clean again. I don’t care how long it takes you. Eren takes right wing, Y/N takes left.”

He glared daggers at the two of you before going back to the cottage, just like that. It was actually worse when he didn’t say much – means he’s absolutely sick of you.

Still breathing heavily, you stood up, leaning on your knees with your palms for support.

“Shit, guys,” Jean muttered. “Shall we say our goodbyes now, or...?”

“Jean.” Mikasa snapped, shutting him up.

You glared at Eren who glared right back at you, although his eyes were already void of the rage that was previously residing in them.

You looked away without a word and made your way towards the cottage, wanting to wipe all the dirt and soot away.

✃

You stared at your distraught face in the mirror. Distraught by the fight you had with Eren, and by the fact that you got on Captain’s nerves again. How longer can you go on like this before he finally kicks you out?

You wiped your wet face with a towel as you heard someone come into the bathroom. Mikasa’s frame showed up in the mirror.

“Mikasa,” you spoke without hesitation as you turned around. “I’m sorry for what I said.”

Mikasa shook her head sheepishly. “It’s alright.”

“No, it’s not. You’re the most caring person I know and I used that to shame Eren, although there’s no shame in caring for your loved ones.”

Mikasa blushed as she set her eyes to the ground. “Everyone’s going to sleep already – you better hurry.”

“Right,” you sighed, feeling the jitters of anticipation.

You quit the bathroom and made your way to the cleaning cupboard to grab all sorts of supplies. At least the Captain was nowhere to be seen – you couldn’t bear his condemning gaze now. Not when you secretly always yearn for his approval.

You can’t help but stare at him a second longer than you should, or think about him when you shouldn’t. The fact that he hasn’t kicked you off of his squad gives you some material for thinking that maybe he simply doesn’t want to. There’s just something about him that makes you tense everytime you’re around him – not the dread everyone feels, but something else entirely, something that makes your stomach tingle.

You just finished cleaning all the dishes after dinner and was now sweeping the floor that was still clean after your cleaning tasks earlier in the day. That was the point of the punishment, you figured – clean the surroundings that are already clean, only to frustrate you.

You were kind of spacing out, the flashbacks of the fight with Eren coming back, rekindling the violent blaze within you. Everything was suddenly in your head again, pushing you to the edge. You closed your eyes and exhaled through your nose as you stopped momentarily, letting go of the broom and trying to forget how Eren just blurted out about your sorrows, how Captain glared at you, how everyone got to witness you getting unhinged again.

Hot flashes hit your body as you blew the stray ringlet of hair from your forehead, leaning on the dining table with your palms, desperately trying to calm down.

“Who told you to stop?”

Oh no… Really not the time.

You needed a few more seconds to stop the shivers as you opened your eyes and straightened your frame, facing Captain Levi, who was leaning against the counter.

It was precisely those few extra seconds that displeased him.

“Tsk,” he spat out as he straightened his frame. “Not only you’re deranged, but lazy too.”

You faced him with as blank a face as you could possibly muster, yet all your feelings were bubbling up, threatening to spill out with a little more provocation. You never wanted to rip off someone’s head so bad, until now.

You didn’t realize you’d squeezed your eyes shut until they suddenly opened with the sound of hard crash – Levi had purposely smashed a ceramic cup to the ground, shattering it to pieces.

You set your mad eyes on him, disbelief written all over you.

“Clean it.” he ordered. “Or are you going to disobey me again?”

You bit the inside of your cheek so hard you sure it was bleeding, breathing heavily, restraining yourself like never before in order not to pounce on him.

Instead, you repeatedly bit your lower lip as you felt your eyes watering. It’s better to cry yourself stupid before him than to actually hit him – then everything would definitely be over.

He stepped closer to you, your clothes almost brushing together, as he looked down on you with clear disgust, and… satisfaction?

You were so angry. He tried to demean you just now, and you were under immense pressure to actually pick those pieces up. You knew you had to, but you couldn’t bring yourself to.

You gulped. “You’re abusing your power.”

“No,” he closed in on you, making you step backwards until the back of your thighs hit the table. “I’m establishing my power, since you clearly don’t recognize it.”

He leaned his palms on the table just like you did moments ago, trapping you. Your heart was palpitating against your ribcage, yet for reasons entirely different than rage.

All of those glances and pushes and punishments now made sense – that was the only way he could think of to interact with you with no suspicion from others. He’d often chide you for the stupidest things, just so he’d have the chance to have a conversation with you, no matter how fleeting or unimportant.

Deep down you always knew it, and that’s why you’re continued being such a burden. Just so that he’d look at you and punish you again, scream at you, or kick the shit out of you again.

The atmosphere in the room has changed radically. You felt like walking on a string, about to fall off as his face was hovering just above yours, torturing you with anticipation.

“You wanted to beat the shit out of me just now, didn’t you?” he quizzed while slowly tracing your features with his stony gaze. Instead of answering, you gulped.

He grabbed your face harshly, puckering up your lips in the process. “Speak.”

“Yes.” you admitted before his hand slid down to lightly hang at the base of your neck, igniting whole another fire within you.

“Yes what?” he asked, adding pressure to his hand.

“Yes, Captain.”

At this rate, you’re going to burn out.

He chuckled quietly through his nose and stood up straight. “Go on, then. I’m ordering you to slap me.”

It was as if you just turned into a statue – that’s how shocked you were. “W-What?” you asked sheepishly.

“Do I need to repeat myself?”

You stared at him, trying to see him and his intentions through. Obviously, things were finally getting spicy, but your defense mechanism still rang some alarm bells – is he trying to trick you into something? Are you really going to bitch-slap the humanity’s strongest?

You felt your palms starting to tingle as he stared right into your eyes, challenging you to do it.

And you’re gonna do it, alright.

Something just snapped inside you, as it always does before you do something stupid or something you’re going to regret. You charged your palm with strength before sending it flying across his cheek with all your might. You whimpered as your skin came in contact with his, setting your palm on fire from such a harsh stroke.

And then it dawned on you – you really did bitch-slap him. He even stumbled one step backwards, his head ominously turned to the side, crow-black hair shielding his eyes from your vision, what absolutely terrified you.

He straightened his frame as he wiped a droplet of blood from his lip with the tip of his thumb.

You gasped audibly, making him look at you.

That’s it, you thought, he has a perfect reason to kill you now, and you were stupid enough to fall for it. You closed your eyes and awaited whatever’s to come, and it did come.

His lips came crashing on yours, both of you stumbling backwards, moving the table a bit. He immediately yanked you to sit on the wooden surface, positioning himself between your thighs as you held onto him for dear life.

He devoured you with hungry, open-mouthed kisses before you bit his lower lip, drawing blood once more.

One of his hands that were digging into your hips came in contact with your neck, squeezing it hard and pushing you away so he could see your hazy face.

“Savage.” he muttered after a few moments of taking you in, making your mouth stretch out into a lazy smile.

He pushed himself to you further, making your back hit the table as he attached his lips just below your neck, where jaw transitions to neck, coaxing a mewl out of you. He coaxed another when he rutted his hips against yours, making you aware of the growing tent in his pants.

“Fuck,” you breathed out, eyes closed as he sucked and bit little marks all over your neck. Hiding them is going to be a problem.

You took his face in your hands and kissed him deeply, rolling your hips against his in a tantalizing motion, whimpering at how his hardness brushes against where you need him the most, feeling him exhale into your mouth as his mind was equally clouded.

It felt like everything was finally coming to be exactly as it should, like you’d finally be released from your misery, like the intentions behind each of your actions would finally be clear, without any misunderstandings.

You were both impatient. No time for thorough build up, you just wanted to feel him inside you, just as he wanted to fill you up.

He drew back a bit, restrained by your legs snaking his waist as he rested his forehead against yours, panting heavily. “I’d really like to fuck you now.”

The fact that after all the crazy shit you’ve been through today he’d still ask for consent made you give it all to him. “Only if you do it so hard I can’t walk for days.”

You felt his dick twitch. “Easy.”

You yelped as he flipped you around, fumbling with the hem of your pants as he pushed them down to your knees, along with your underwear. You shivered as cool air hit your slick folds, and once again when you heard Levi fumbling with his own belt.

You wiggled your hips against him, impatient, almost crying out – you needed him that bad. His palm came flying against your behind, making you yelp loudly, gripping the edge of the table as you’re all sprawled out on top of it.

You whimpered again as you felt him brush the tip of his dick teasingly against your entrance. “Please, Captain…”

“So impatient,” he muttered silently before ramming into you without any warning.

Your nails dug into the wooden edge as you cried out into the air, holding on for dear life as he slammed you, table legs creaking underneath you rhythmically.

Levi had a perfect view of you as he rutted against you – the way your ass bounced flush against his hip, your arm muscles straining as you gripped the edge of the table harder and harder, the way the strands of your hair flew up and down with each motion, and how helplessly you squealed each time his tip hit your cervix – all of that sent him insane, unable to stop the silent whimpers that came out from his own mouth.

He had to restrain himself from going too fast – that’s how eager he was to finally sprawl you under him, after all this time you drove him out of his mind with your unstable behavior, hatred-driven glances and disobedience.

“Yes, yes, love it,” you wailed incoherently.

“Of course you do,” he huffed just before he grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked your head backwards, stars spilling out of your head.

The way his dick breached you was literally driving you crazy – it was like a perfect fit, slipping soundly against your walls and hitting all the right spots at exactly the right time. Your cunt clenched around him on its own, making him groan at your artfulness. His fingers dug into the plush of your backside, thrusting into you without any mercy.

The coil in your stomach was getting tighter and tighter, your brain short-circuiting each time you heard Levi groan, the lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin ringing against the walls.

“Oh, God,” you cried out as your bliss was rapidly closing in on you.

“No,” Levi countered as he pressed his back flush against yours, brushing his lips against your ear. “just me.”

His head hung down, burying itself in the crook of your neck as he finally spilt his seed inside of you with a low groan that sent you to your own release. You cried out as he panted heavily against your skin, your body slumping on the table completely.

You had to muster up the remaining grain of your strength when Levi stood up and pulled his pants on so you could to the same with your own. Your breathing was still erratic as you fumbled with the pair of strings in the hem of your pants, trying to tie them. Levi approached you and lightly swatted your trembling hands away, tying them for you.

You were lost in his gray eyes by now, not even knowing what to say at first, but this silence that ensued was kind of comforting, both of you assessing the situation.

He chuckled suddenly. “Why did you beat the shit out of Jaeger in the first place?”

You smiled awkwardly as you shook your head curtly, gluing your eyes to the ground. “Doesn’t matter. Stupid thing, really.”

“Alright.” he said, his voice low, as usual. “You can tell me all about it next time.”

His words made you look at him again, eyebrows slightly lifted, eyes full of sudden anticipation.

Next time?

You were kind of scared at the thought of getting together with Captain again, but you felt excited way more.

“Oh, and like I said,” he paused before leaving the room completely. “clean it.”

You remembered the shattered cup and this time failed to refrain a smirk that creeped upon your lips.

“Yes, Captain.”

He left after that, but you swear you saw a ghost of a smile on those harsh lips.

376 notes · View notes

starfirette · 3 years

Note

maybe for a part two for mother!reader x armin is when armin is like 15 and she visits the scouts to see him and she ends up embarrassing him??

New Life: a direct sequel to New Start | part three is out!!

The big, round eyes you once swore would be green turned out to be blue.

And they were so eager to leave you and be a man.

It was the hardest choice you’d ever made, allowing your son to leave the village and join the cadet corps. It was what he seemed to want, so so desperately. You couldn’t tell if he wanted it as much as he wanted to follow Eren Jaeger and the Mikasa girl. Both were pleasant enough children. They stood up for your Armin more than enough times to be allowed in your household. You didn’t mind if they both showed up unannounced to take Armin on an adventure or even to eat dinner and spend the night.

Carla was a sweet enough woman who seemed to have the same concerns for Eren that you had for Armin. She wanted them to be friends and be normal children that didn’t have to worry about death and disease. It was a common scene for Carla to walk Eren and the young girl to your house with a freshly baked cherry and butter pie, made from the fresh picked cherries in the shared village orchard.

Hosting the two children was never an issue. You liked having the house filled. The boys even seemed to get Mikasa on her feet, running around and doing some sort of adventure.

Armin’s wide, blue eyes always taunted you, taunting the color green you’d imagined they’d be.

Armin had grown up to be a better young man than you could have ever hoped for. He was a sweet young boy who enjoyed his studies and never forgot his mother’s birthday. He never argued, never disobeyed, (though you like to think he naturally agreed with your set of rules).

It was one evening that he’d burst into a fit of yelling and crying when he broke the blue, crystal vase that had been your obvious favorite piece of decorum in the house. He was a smart child. He noticed how you doted on your vase. It was always filled with fresh flowers, always dusted and cleaned, and never moved from the spot on the credenza in the center of the living space.

You felt a strange sadness as you swept the pieces of thin glass up. You did your best not to let it show. Seeing Armin blubber and apologize profusely with bleeding palms from where he’d tried to mend the vase back together was a sore sight. You weren’t angry. You assured your son as much, holding him and assuring him it was only a ‘thing.’

But you cried that night in your small cot, when you were sure that he’d fallen fast asleep in his own room.

Tears were never a stranger to your household.

You were familiar with them, as you had been all your life.

You’d burst into hysterical tears when, one day, the dishes shook off the counter, clattering and crashing to the floor like an earthquake. You knew like you knew the sky was blue that there were titans. Invasion was on your mind since you’d left the Interior, but you never suspected it would be this way.

You raced to the city square to find Armin. Your boy was with Eren and Mikasa somewhere. But he was small, and tender, and he could be hurt. Your heart fell at the sight of any blond head in the nearest proximity of danger. When you found your boy, you scooped him into your arms, and you ran like you’d never run before.

It was only at the safety point when you’d set Armin down and spoke. You examined him for wounds, asking if he was alright in a straight voice while tears streamed down your face.

It was the beginning of a cruel five years. Eren Jaeger and Mikasa had become your newest children. You cared for them as best as you could. Your discreet funds of money that was stored in banks all across the walled lands did a good job of keeping you all safe and protected. You lived with Armin and the kids for seven months at the new house. It was considerably smaller, but everyone had their own bed, and they never had to worry about food being on the table.

Eventually, the time came for the children to make their choice. You’d sensed it coming from a mile away. How could you not? They were not slick. Eren spoke loudly in the nights about his plan for vengeance and justifying poor Carla’s death. And where Eren would go, Mikasa would. Then Armin would be following close behind, only stuttering when he had the least bit of hesitation.

It was easily, without a doubt, the hardest choice you’d made in your entire life to give Armin your blessing. Even after all he’d been through...he still wanted his mother’s approval.

The time came to leave the children. Their enlistment was eagerly accepted. It wasn’t assuring how quickly they’d been enrolled and cataloged. You knew that the regiments were looking to fill the mass gaps of dead soldiers.

The days of an empty house passed to months. Those winded into years.

You made the three beds every week, re~fluffing the pillows and shaking off the dust. If any of them ever wanted to come back home, you’d have to make sure they had a clean, comfy bed.

It was the motherly part of you that wished for any of them to knock on that door. Where one went, the other two followed, like the stars followed the moon.

Some days you thought of Armin. Armin, the departed husband that is. What a jovial man. You missed him often. He would have approved of the life you’d built. He would have liked Armin, the younger. He might have had better furniture choices.

Letters weren’t enough to keep you from losing your mind. The years just kept adding on, leaving you to wonder what the future held. But one particular letter caught your attention, signed and sealed with the Scout regiment’s signet. Commander Erwin called for an immediate family reunion at one of the safe castles. It would happen while it still could.

Oh, what a relief, you’d thought. You practically threw your clothes in a traveler’s case and took all the paths you could to the castle.

It was clearly a rare occasion. Several wagons and carriages were offering rides to the castle, and every passenger was a parent, aunt, or uncle, with the occasional younger siblings of the other cadets. You hadn’t considered it before, but you’d realized that you weren’t just going to see your son. You were filling the roll as a parent for two others.

Every passenger had a story to tell about their children. You all bonded on the journey with the shared thought, is their child friends with mine? Did they cry together? Train together?

One mother expressed how badly she’d hoped it would be an annual event. Soldiers hardly got leaves of absence. Who knows when you could see your child again?

The last of the wagons rolled up to the castles grandiose pathway. It was quite overgrown with shrubbery, but the look it gave was stupendous. You’d wondered if such a look could be mimicked by growing your own plants at home.

The thoughts vanished as the soldiers were brought out to the courtyard, lining up to find their family. You stood patiently. You waited for the familiar trio to appear. They wouldn’t be the exact same. You caught yourself watching for small children. Everyone here were soldiers, the real kind, albeit most being cadets. You anxiously watched. You tried not to think, “What if they’re dead?”

You’d gotten a letter from all three at least a month ago. And there was no issue of death from the corps. Still, the thought lingered.

You swayed in the breeze, smoothing your dress as you tried to remain patient.

“Mother?”

Your heart dropped into your stomach when you heard the familiar voice call out to you. You looked around, trying to pinpoint the voice from the crowd. You were hardly able to take a good look when you were rushed by two muscular figures. They both pounced on you, pulling you into a giant hug and delightfully exclaiming something you didn’t understand from your heart beating loudly in your ears.

“Oh, Mother,” Armin said into your head, kissing the top of your hair. He was tall.

He held onto you longer than Eren did, who had pulled back and looked down at you with a gleeful smile.

“You’re both so...tall,” you exclaimed as you pulled away to look at them both. Armin was tall and slender, but his shoulders were broad. His blond hair was clean cut to his chin as it had always been. He was always a neat person. You imagine he would be keeping up with his routine hair trims as usual.

Eren stood even taller than Armin, if that’s possible. His unruly brown hair was wavy and too long, as if he didn’t care to cut it when it grew to the tops of his ears. His shoulders were twice as broad as Armin’s, and you could see even under the uniform he’d grown quite muscular. It figures. With him being a titan, and all, it makes enough sense that he’s muscular.

It’s the first time you’d seen Eren in person since learning via letter he was one of the first of what Armin dubbed a ‘shifter.’ You tried not to let the thought show on your face. Besides, no one here seems to be giving him a hard time.

You couldn’t help but feel the tears form along your eyelashes like dew drops on a spider’s web. You had once held that little blond boy close to your chest, telling him how he had made you the happiest you’d ever been.

You meant it, and you mean it now. You couldn’t help but sniffle at the thought of your little boy all grown up.

Eren laughed while Armin smiled bashfully. “Oh, mother, there’s no need to cry,” he said, bringing you close for another hug.

You wiped your eyes with your thumbs, trying not to embarrass Armin further. “Well, young man, where is that sister of yours?” you asked Eren.

Eren’s gleeful smile faltered just slightly. “She’s not feeling well. She decided to use the day off and catch up on some rest. But she’ll join us for dinner.”

You couldn’t imagine the pain she’d be feeling right about now. It’s no surprise that she’d not felt up to the task of greeting a mother that wasn’t even her own.

Even in Eren’s eyes-who was doing his best to be strong-had a distant sort of grief that lingered in his eyes, especially at the sight of you adjusting Armin’s clothes.

“Mother, I’ll show you to your room,” Armin said, linking his arm in yours. You fondly accepted Eren’s offer to link your other arm in his own. You asked the boys thousands of questions, intently enjoying their answers.

The castle towered tall above you, the rooftops that arched up being blushed with the shadows of the bushy tree tops. You were only one of the many mothers being escorted gently through the vast castle built with limestone that was polished down to perfect edges. Parents and siblings were being taken on grandiose tours, all while being hugged and pulled by their solider children.

“This is where the survey corps lives?” you asked. Armin nodded ambitiously, a smile curved wide on his mouth. “We move around sometimes depending on where we’re being deployed, but this is where we usually are.”

“It’s huge!” you awe. The castle seemed ancient. Every turn had a piece of character that felt ageless and wiser beyond even your own years. Thought vast, the castle was well kept. You couldn’t find a single cobweb, even if you wanted to.

“Tell me about it,” Eren groaned as he touched his forehead. “It’s a real bitch to clean.”

You looked at the boy in shock, your mouth open. “Why, Eren, where have you heard such language?”

Eren looked to Armin for help as he floundered for an answer. He couldn’t quite form one, so his mouth contorted uneasily. “I-Well I mean...I...I’m sorry.”

You playfully told him you’d allow it this once.

You felt so happy to see the two boys grown and healthy. Armin’s soft hands had doubled in size. He once had such chubby, little hands that gripped your finger tightly for comfort. Always sticky, even one thumb tucked in his mouth.

Though his face was the same, he looked so different in every other aspect. But, this thought was comforted by the matter of Armin being the same in personality as he has always been. He still wore the little timid smile of someone bursting to the seams with words he wants to share. He always has something interesting on his mind. His intelligence had even taken you aback when he was a child. He certainly didn’t get that from you.

You figured it was a trait inherited by his birth mother or his biological grandfather. Truthfully, those are the only relatives of his that you know. After adopting him, you tried to dig up more information about his family. You would have liked for him to have the answers to the questions he’d one day ask.

“Walk faster,” Eren said in an urgent voice.

“Oh, God,” Armin said under his breath. “Let’s go back that way.”

The two young boys-young men- were now trying to steer you in a jarring direction. “What’s wrong?” you asked, starting to pull your arms away from them.

“Mom, he’ll see us!” Armin urged you in a loud whisper, attempting to push you into walking.

“It’s too late, he’s coming,” Eren said in a stiff voice. “We can’t-He’s looking right at me. He’s looking right at me!”

“Who’s looking at who?” you asked desperately trying to understand.

“At ease, cadets,” a smooth voice said. It came from the figure you finally spotted striding towards you, encased in a not so tall, but lean figure. “I presume this is Mrs. Arlert?”

The words struck you in the chest. Armin’s face became screwed and red as he looked down at his feet. “That’s not her name, captain,” Armin quickly said. “But yes, she is my mother. Y/n L/n.”

You didn’t let the hurt bleed into your expression. “I am Armin’s mother. It’s wonderful to meet you. What’s your name?”

“Levi Ackerman, ma’am,” the man said, holding out a hand to shake yours. You realized why the boys had wanted to run away. The famed captain Ackerman was mentioned in plenty of your letters from all three of the children, even Mikasa’s. Though Mikasa mentioned him only when she asked for favors for you, namely ancestry research. She wanted to know if she could be related to the man at all, since she’d never met any other person with the name. While your efforts proved weak, she’d appreciated the attempt.

Meanwhile, Eren and Armin mostly wrote about the man to complain. He was mean, you’d heard. Stern and, as Eren put it, “A major jerk.”

The captain Ackerman doesn’t leave me side; ever. I’d say he’s obsessed with me, but I know it’s because he doesn’t trust me. My power is one that has to be heavily monitored. I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I wish that, at least, my supervisor could be someone nicer. Someone taller, at least, so I don’t have to look down all the time. It’s strange to be chewed out by someone two heads shorter. Note, auntie, this is an estimate.

You shook the captain’s calloused hand. It was a stark difference from the curtseying and bowing from when you were among the society in the interior. The thought of a woman shaking a man’s hand without wearing a glove was ghastly; it was intimate. This part of etiquette was so deeply engrained in your mind that you blushed at the feeling of the captain’s skin against yours.

It was enough to keep you from thinking about Armin.

You’d given him the information about his true name just in case he ever wanted, or needed, to use it. You didn’t expect him to ever go by it. It did hurt, though, to think of your boy being Armin Alert, and not Armin L/n.

“I can easily see where Armin gets his grace,” the captain said in a smooth, deep voice, looking almost proudly to Armin.

Eren looked shocked at your left side, and even Armin’s mouth fell agape. “Your son is quite the tactician,” the captain continued.

You chuckle. “He certainly is. Armin’s been impressing me with his brain since he was a baby.”

Armin laughed nervously. “Mother, we don’t need to share that,” he said in a shy voice. You couldn’t help but continue to gush. You rarely bragged about your child, mostly because your neighbors at home had lost their children and it was a sore subject to speak of.

“Well, captain, I’ve heard so much about you,” you said, offering the man a warm smile. He was awfully handsome with his dark hair that grazed the edges of his jaw.

“If I had realized I’d meet the beautiful famed mother, I would have dressed for the occasion,” Levi said with a remarkably steady voice. You felt your cheeks rush with warmth while Eren forced a loud, awkward cough. It sounded as though he was hacking up a piece of his lung. “We’d better get aunt Y/n to her room, ey Armin?”

“Yeah,” Armin said in a short voice. “I mean yes! Yes, yes, we-yes. She’s tired.”

“She’s exhausted,” Eren added, holding his hands over your shoulders and massaging them for good measure. You raised your eyebrows.

“She’s also so hungry,” Armin added loudly. “She’s starving.”

“There’s a buffet going in the mess hall until mid noon,” Levi suggested. “And then tomorrow there will be a large breakfast party.”

You looked at your son with a teasing look of shame. “Why, you boys never mentioned a party. I would have brought my good dress.”

“As if you’d need a good dress,” Armin teased. “We can go out to town. There’s going to be available transportation all day for your visit. It’s very exciting. I’ve even been dismissed from my chores!”

Eren sent a small glare to the captain. “I wasn’t dismissed from my chores,” he grumbled.

“Unfortunately, Jager, you’re one of my favorite cadets. I just can’t spend a minute without you,” the captain said humorously. It made you laugh, to Eren’s horror. “I hope to be seeing you again during your stay, Missus L/n.”

“Oh, it’s just Miss, captain. I am widowed.”

Armin took a pause in his breath. “...Widowed?”

You realized then that you slipped, too. “Unmarried, I meant,” you corrected yourself, albeit too late.

You could see that even Levi knew the well intended flirting was over. Clearly you and your son had things to talk about, and soon. The matter of the surname would likely not compare to Armin’s questions, especially considering that you never spoke of your old life, or your family (this very well may be the reason Armin chose to use his other name in the first place).

“It was a pleasure, Miss,” the captain said before taking a small bow and walking away. You didn’t have time to notice that the bow was not common for people beyond the interior. “I’m going to go meet Connie’s family,” Eren said calmly, though you felt is was more directed to Armin than you.

“I’ll be seeing you soon, Eren,” you softly bid the boy as he prepared to walk away, leaving his best friend to the awkwardness that would ensue.

You looked up at your son with half a smile; he looked uncomfortable. Your boy was doing that thing he did when he was too afraid to say or admit something--he rubbed his palms together nervously, as if he were trying to start a fire. “I’m not angry with you,” you told him before you said anything else. “You don’t have to explain anything to me,” you added.

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” Armin explained, sounding shaky as he averted his eyes to the floor. “You haven’t told me anything about your family. Your life couldn’t have started only when I was adopted. I just-I just want to know my history.”

You took a breath. “My days living in the Interior were not something I enjoyed. It was a vastly different lifestyle that I did not enjoy, and likely couldn’t ever enjoy again. Yes. I was married. To a man also called Armin. The marriage was arranged, and he and I held no romantic feelings for one another.”

“Did you have children with him?” Armin asked, his voice quiet.

“None, my love,” you assured him, wishing you could just stroke his hair and cuddle him tight like you did during his infancy. “I am so sorry that I haven’t...That I have failed to be more forthright with you.”

Armin failed so say anything. He stood motionless. “May you please not flirt with Captain Ackerman again?” he finally said, looking exasperated.

Your eyes widened. “O-Oh. I’m so so sorry, honey, I just-You-Of course. I swear to not flirt with anyone. Although, I can’t say that I started that. Rather, you should tell the captain not to flirt with your mother again.”

Armin went beet red in the cheeks. “You can’t just tell the captain what and what not to do, mother,” he said in a low and eerie voice; it was as if someone had made such a mistake before, and Armin had witnessed the consequences first hand.

“Armin,” you said quietly.

“I mean it, mother, he once kicked Eren in the face!” Armin went on to exclaim.

“My dear, I could care less about the captain,” you tell your son firmly. “I admit that I was surprised to hear that you use your biologicals name. And for a split second, it did hurt. But, you are your own person. You have been through things grown men haven’t seen. I am so proud of you. No matter what name you go by, you will always be my dear son. I will always love you with all my heart.”

Armin’s eyes softened, and the corners of his mouth turned into a dimpled smile. “I love you, too, mother,” he said. He brought you close for a hug. He kissed the top of your head as you had always done to him during his youth.

Some things were bound to never change.

Armin would always be your intelligent, kind hearted, good tempered son. When he walked, you could only see his toddling down the hallways of your old home. When he laughed, it reminded you of his gasping giggles as he was fondly amused by something some insignificant.

Armin linked his arm with yours one more time. “Let’s get to your room, now,” he said with a happy grin.

597 notes · View notes

rivendellsstuff · 3 years

Text

𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑

𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 | Because Grisha Jaeger had placed a lot of expectations on all his children, but especially on (Y/N).

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1790;

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: Mentions of canon-typical violence. Inspired by the song “Brother“ by Kodaline; and, yes, that is part of a story that I will never publish.

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: Hello! This is the second time I have ventured into writing a story in English. I hope, with all my heart, that I am managing to evolve and that the text is understandable. If you spot a misspelled word or anything else, feel free to let me know.

────── ▎She had no other pleasure that morning than to walk barefoot on the grass, still damp from the light drizzle that had occurred the night before.

She was lightly shaking a small basket, which she had made herself the year before from the thinnest branches of a cherry tree, while she sang a quiet melody among the bushes and trees that began to surround her. It was a very hot and humid afternoon. On the way to the apple tree, the light was so intense that she shielded her eyes.

The aroma of ripe apples began to gather strength around her. With her fingertips, she gently caressed the fruits she loved. They were ready to be picked, and she smiled, satisfied.

A slight rustling from the right side caught the attention of Grisha Jaeger's eldest daughter, startling her, causing her eyes to quickly search for the source of such.

It was Mikasa.

Her gray dress was a shade darker than her eyes and her black hair shone in the sunlight, her hands closed around her red scarf. She knew it was Mikasa's habit to do this to make sure it was always hanging around her neck. Somehow, it seemed to calm her.

''Hey,'' (Y/N) greeted the younger girl. ''Is everything okay?''

At the present moment, she barely spoke to her adopted sister, although everyone seemed charmed by her. Mikasa was an incredibly intelligent and strong child, no doubt she had managed to escape a terrible situation, the mere mention of which made (Y/N)'s stomach clench and her heart soar in her chest. The most remembered mark on the girl's personality, however, was her incredible sense of loyalty to Eren. Of this, anyone who had spent at least two days with her could tell.

And, yes, it was true that the two did not know each other very well, but in light of the short time they had been together, she had found out enough to know that Mikasa was real and part of the family.

''Yes,'' Mikasa answered, shyly, after a minute of silence. ''May I... accompany you?

''Oh, I don't see why not,'' the older woman smiled tenderly.

The two sisters raised their eyes to the apple trees and began picking them by the bunches. The sun was high enough to illuminate the whole place, although its light was in the treetops. A very beautiful and welcoming place. Beside her, Mikasa seemed to think the same, with a small smile on her face and barely blinking her little eyes, wanting to memorize every detail. Even under the intense heat, fatigue didn't seem to discourage either of them.

''Amazing, isn't it?'', (Y/N) inquired to the younger girl, who blinked twice before turning to her. ''Here, hold this.''

Mikasa nodded and held up the small basket.

As (Y/N) tried to balance on the higher branches, Mikasa brought one of the red fruits to her lips, tasting the acidic freshness in her mouth, and her eyes narrowed at the slight acidity that characterized them, while her ears didn't seem to want to part with (Y/N)'s frustrated gasps.

''Oh, no, no!''

Mikasa's eyes widened as (Y/N) falls to the ground. While the girl still had her mouth open in surprise, her sister began to laugh. She remained on the floor, not caring about the wetness, but she didn't let the shadow of a smile escape Mikasa's face.

''Oh, so you think that's funny?'' she asked, and she wiped a single tear from her eyes, shaking her head negatively at her own shame.

With her tiptoe, she pushed the younger woman's heel hard enough to make her fall beside her.

A second lost, and then another.

Finally, letting go of her surprise, she let out a laugh, still holding the basket. It was a happy afternoon, the happiest in a long time for the two sisters, and before they knew it, the sun was beginning to set.

It was a happy afternoon, the happiest in a long time for the two sisters, and before they knew it, the sun was starting to set.

''We'd better go, little one. Mother will be furious with us if we're late for dinner,'' she said, smoothing her dress over her body. ''Let me fix this.''

Mikasa raised one of her eyebrows.

She ran her fingers over the scarf, smoothing it over her body, then lightly pinched the younger girl's nose, just like her mother used to do once upon a time.

The fall of Wall Maria marked the end of an entire era. It was a tragedy; an atrocity. On the day that so many people were torn from their homes and their lives, a permanent shadow shrouded the hearts of Grisha Jaeger's children.

There were no songs in that land that could tell the pain of (Y/N). There were no songs that could tell of Eren's anger. There was no song for the darkness that was submerged in the hearts of the Jaeger's brothers.

Eren and Mikasa were just two children when tragedy struck, and Grisha Yeager's eldest daughter, whose light once lit up the old house in Shiganshina, suddenly becomes an adult plagued by responsibilities too great.

Long weeks after the tragedy, (Y/N) was always trying to protect those kids. To keep them safe. Grisha and Carla never had to tell her that, but (Y/N) always felt like that was her responsibility. She just wanted Mikasa and Eren to be children. Just for a little while longer.

But then there they all were, watching in terror as a crowd was dragged in to reclaim the lost lands. There was no excited shouting or cheering. There was only an annoyed and doubtful murmur from the rest, because everyone seemed to know that it was just a way for the government to get rid of mouths to feed. Men and women, young and old; people with those who had lived for many years, pale and with eyes glistening with tears.

That day, Armin lost his only family.

That day, (Y/N) hugged the three boys and pulled them close, and begged - to whatever divine creature there was - that they would get through it.

Little Armin made no effort to stop the hot tears that wet his (Y/N) clothes when the gates were closed. The hat in his hands, once so light, suddenly seemed to become too heavy, too big. His knees trembled and he fell to the ground.

I am tired of losing friends.

Mikasa tries to swallow the lump forming in her throat. Her gaze was not childish, but knowing, sad, frustrated - no child should have that look. Eren, whose eyes were fixed on his friend's back, felt as if the air was caught in his throat, as if he was suffocating himself.

(Y/N) crouched down at Armin's height. When he raised his face, (Y/N) saw hers eyes mirrored in his blue eyes. She stroked the younger man's face without saying anything, just trying to calm him down.

"I am with you, Armin," she whispered. "I am with you."

''We did it!

The graduation of the 104th Recruit Squadron was a highly anticipated date for Eren, (Y/N), Mikasa and Armin. The date had arrived together with cold and humid weather, with light rains and the presence of little lightning and thunderbolts, but whose noise echoed throughout the place.

Everyone felt something different; Eren was struck with such great courage that he felt as if he could face anything from that moment on. Armin was overcome with a sense of a job well done, mystery, and curiosity about all the things that might be on the other side of the walls. Mikasa felt as if she was doing exactly what she was born to do, and although she didn't show it in words, she was pleased with the prominent position she received among all the other recruits.

After the formal introductions and dinner, the Jaeger's brothers gathered outside on the steps and the moonlight illuminated the entire clearing. There, where they stood, hardly any trees grew. It was cold, but not cold enough to make them sick, only to make them shiver.

For a long time, the two brothers remained sitting on the stairs. Neither of them started a conversation, but they were satisfied that way. After all they had done to survive, they couldn't help but wonder what they would become. Their whole lives had turned upside down after the fall of Wall Maria. They were survivors. They were soldiers.

Whatever they would become, (Y/N) just wanted to be there for Eren. For all of them.

Finally, the older woman put her right arm around Eren's shoulders. Although he was startled by her unexpected attitude, Eren relaxed his muscles and leaned over her. And in the end, that small gesture had been enough.

''I'm proud of us, man. I'm proud of what we've done,'' she said.

Eren nodded.

He listened attentively to her and understood everything she was saying. They had traveled a cruel road, where friends and family were left behind. They had suffered, but they would not give up easily.

Because we are the Jaeger. We don't run.

They fought to survive. They fought to complete their training. They fought to get what they wanted: to join the human cause. This caused many scars.

Eren was just a child like many others, but he had been forced to grow up. (Y/N) was an adult. She could have gone away. There were all the opportunities and all the desires to take what had been promised to her since her late teens - from suitors to the opportunity for study. She could have lived elsewhere and had a family with them, become an ordinary woman. Eren knew that. It would be stupid for her to reject that, foolish for her to keep running.

But she was his sister, and one brother doesn't let the other wander off alone.

Suddenly, Eren remembers. The younger man remembers when they were little, and she would tell a stupid joke to distract him while she put on a bandage after getting into a fight with the bullies who harassed Armin. He remembers how she would take over some of his work in the settlement, or how she would divide the food among the three youngest.

"Thank you for not giving up on me, sis."

That's her nature, he thinks.

And his nature to protect her now. There is nothing in the world he wouldn't do for her.

Eren hugs his sister tighter.

At that moment, what mattered wasn't the graduation. It was that the two siblings were together that night, in that place, looking out into the rainy night and thinking how proud their parents would be.

#aot x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren jaeger imagines #mikasa ackerman x reader #armin arlet smut #armin arlet imagines #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan imagine #shingeki no kyoujin imagine

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smoothie-sailing · 3 years

Text

The freedom we give to ourselves

How does one find freedom in a cruel and cynical world? What does freedom even mean? What would it feel like? How will we know when we see it? These have been recurring questions throughout this story. We seem to explore attempts at the answer to this question through the perspective of characters.

Kenny Ackerman’s life in pursuit of power led him to realise a truth about himself and the people around him. this idea of being drunk on something. That People need something to believe in to keep them going, to keep them from being broken by life’s suffering. Something that they hope gives each of their lives meaning. Each character’s pursuit towards this idea is what they believe will give them freedom from suffering.

Zeke was no exception to this, he sees the suffering he experienced as a suffering inherent in being an Eldian in this world. He was drunk on the idea that his and the collective suffering would stop if Eldians ceased to exist.

Despite this proposition, Zeke was able to find true freedom not by pursuing his personal mission through to the end but by letting it go. This push to move forward: to explain himself, his life, his suffering. It has brought him only more dissatisfaction and pain. He kept moving forward and when Eren took power from Ymir he was just sitting inert in Paths. It is not until his conversation with Armin that he truly looks back and reflects. Armin talks about a time where he was just having an aimless moment shared between loved ones. Zeke looks within and finds himself playing catch with Xaver. It has no meaning but it is a moment in his life where he’s not suffering but nor is he striving to push forward with some grand purpose. He is simply… existing. Without complication. Without justification. He is just someone who exists in this world because he was born into it. A simple moment with a profound effect: that life has intrinsic value and purpose regardless of how cruel it may seem. Zeke has now found that peace he was looking for his entire life. That feeling stays with him right up to the moments of his death. He can’t take back all the blood he has shed but for a few moments to take in the clear sky of the day. He can just exist.

There has been an exhaustive debate in and out of the story of who or what the true devil of humanity is supposed to be. The devil of all earth that plagues humanity. I don’t believe it is Eren but I do believe he is the person in the story most seduced by it. I put forward that the devil of humanity isn’t a person born once in a generation, it is not a creature or some sort of supernatural force. The devil of humanity is the cycle of violence itself. A tiny glimmer of light or fear of the dark that pushes us into war, into chaos, into hell.

We may believe we see something beyond it. Something we can gain or something we fear will be taken from us if we don’t answer the call: “Do this and your dream will come true, you will be safe, you will be loved, the pain will stop” Just once. Then once again. Then once more. Before you know it, you are gripping the wheel of a sinking ship so heavy you have no hope of turning it on your own. But that may be the very thing that can stop it. Hope. The hope you give yourself in small acts of faith. Kindness. Compassion. Empathy. Seeing beyond the walls that trap your spirit. Not to seek out freedom taken from you but to reconnect with the freedom you always had that never left, your humanity.

If this is Isayama’s message, that freedom is in finding one’s humanity. One finds freedom by reconnecting with their humanity. I put forward that the most free person in this story has been Mr Blouse, Sasha’s father.

Mr Blouse is the person in the story most consistently connected to his own humanity and humanity as a collective whole. He makes it a principle to stay connected to it. So much so that when given a justifiable choice to take revenge on Gabi for killing his daughter. He instead chose to forgive her and console both her and Niccolo showing her the most humane act she had ever received. She did not have to justify her existence as a good Eldian in that moment, she was accepted as another person who deserved to exist even if she’d made mistakes.

From Gabi’s experience and perspective, nothing made more sense than Mr Blouse killing her for what she did. What he decided to do was so simple yet its impact was profound. He reached Gabi because he saw something real beyond answering hate with hate. He sees a precious freedom beyond this cycle, and now thanks to what he did Gabi can see beyond it too and was able to find her humanity.

How does this relate to the main character of the story, Eren. Eren’s case is a very tragic one. No one is more emotionally attached to the idea of freedom than Eren, it has a specific imprint within his psyche. However there also lies the imprint of the wall within his psyche and all the trauma associated with it. From an early age Eren, at his most traumatised, found a resolve to find freedom from this horrific nightmare by destroying those who took his freedom from him at any cost. But in finding this resolve and trusting it above anything else, he had unknowingly damned himself.

The wall is so strongly associated with trauma in Eren’s mind, and now with the release of the wall titans, he is literally weaponizing his trauma and aiming it at the rest of the world. Yams is establishing that humanity is the only real freedom we have and Eren had always expected freedom to be beyond the walls. However, because of Eren’s compounded trauma, humanity is the ultimate enemy. In sacrificing his humanity and wiping all of it from the outside world, he is destroying the freedom he wanted for himself and for everyone in the world.

This happens all in the basement of his old home in Shiganshina. Eren was on the cusp of moving beyond his trauma when suddenly all of that pain, all of those triggers were reformatted, given new context when he learned the truth of his world. Why all of this pain and suffering happened to him. Once he met the formative father of his new world rebirth – Eren Kruger.

Eren has found stability in this turmoil by latching onto Kruger’s mindset, believing Kruger to embody what he needs to be to save those he cares about. In this new large and scary world, Eren sees Kruger as the person he will have to be to exist, to make a change. Eren has assimilated Kruger into his identity, evident from Eren taking Kruger’s name during his time spent in Marley. In how we are introduced to him post time skip, Eren is pursuing action using Kruger’s words to young Grisha about the Zeppelin.

Freedom is hard fought and after fighting tooth and nail and suffering and pushing as hard as he can, he will have his freedom.

Culminating in the Jaeger trio at the Reiss family cave, we finally see how far Eren’s resolve has pushed him. Eren is not the devil but he is the one most seduced by it (pushing forward the cycle of violence). He tells Grisha to do this to justify his own belief that this was necessary. To sacrifice his humanity, the humanity he managed to find in the walls after a life of pain and anger as soldier of revolutionary radicalism. For Eren, sacrificing one’s humanity is what is necessary. But Eren misunderstood what he was supposed to take away from Kruger’s life.

There is an additional meaning behind Kruger’s final words to Grisha – in sacrificing his humanity to get to this point, he has lost everything precious to him. All that exists is the end goal, the zeppelin. Seeing the zeppelin is… all there is. It won’t give you back what you lost or what you have told yourself you need to take back: aka your humanity. Eren’s “sight” is the zeppelin and he believes seeing it will give him back the freedom taken from him. It’s no coincidence that Grisha looks like Eren when he reflects on the day that traumatised him the most.

We see Kruger talking to Grisha further after he is given his mission. As Kruger prepares the serum for Grisha he mentions that he won’t know who will be watching this memory. If we take the ironic nature of this story into consideration, this can also mean that he doesn’t know if whomever is watching these memories will stop watching before he is about to say what he says. It takes place at the end of the chapter after we see Eren finding his new resolve and coming to grips with what he has learned and what he needs to do. This may be implying that this further discussion between Kruger and Grisha is something that Eren didn’t actually see. Kruger’s final important message to Grisha is to love someone. Be it a wife, a friend, the people around you. In specific terms, treasure your humanity and preserve it no matter what happens. Like Mr. Blouse, treasure the humanity found in others, even in enemies who have wronged you or may wrong you. Because that is what it means to find life intrinsically valuable. That is the only way to end this cycle of violence and ironically what Kruger has realised after losing so much of his own and now Eren in turn.

So if the path to freedom is to find one’s humanity does this mean that the cycle of violence can be wiped out and the devil of humanity will stop plaguing the world? I don’t think that’s a question Yam’s is capable of answering nor does he intend to.

However, I think he may propose that if it is possible for the main character of the story, the one who has been the most seduced by the cycle of violence and spilled the most blood is able to give himself back his humanity after willingly sacrificing so much of it. Then there is hope for anyone of us to find true freedom. Not everyone, but anyone. Because not just knowing but realising that we are all human, and valuing that, is what makes us truly free.

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bruhstories · 3 years

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Vogel und Jäger

Summary: You accidentally witness a murder, but the murderer takes pity on you. Pairing: Zeke Jaeger x Fem!Reader (mafia AU) Warnings & Content: murder, language, angst Word Count: 1.7 k

A/N: i've been dying for a mafia au with zeke so here's part one of the series Vogel und Jäger. i have two more chapters drafted, and i'll try to post for this series weekly so i can write some moooore for it.

Bang!

The blood-curling sound was familiar to your ears. A gunshot — followed by the gurgling of a man.

Bang!

Another shot and the gurgling stopped. Panic settled in your heart, making you jump back and knock the metallic bin which served as a shield against the perpetrators.

Shit.

Footsteps drew closer and you began to pray. Running was futile. Running was always futile. Your throat was dry, your mascara was smeared all over your cheeks from all the tears, lips chapped and bleeding.

Our Father, who art in Heaven...

The cold muzzle of the gun pressed onto your forehead and you shivered, breath hitching, eyes glued to the wet pavement.

Hollowed be thy name...

The Mafia never spared any witnesses, you knew that all too well, even if you happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Thy Kingdom come...

"Hey, boss, we got a girl."

"Kill her."

"No, please!" You threw yourself at the feet and mercy of the armed man. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! Please, I'm only nineteen!" Through the sobs, your voice was still melodious, syrupy. So sweet that the boss stopped in his tracks.

Thy will be done...

Another pair of footsteps approached, tentatively, not as eager as the first person. You still haven't looked up, too scared to even blink, to even breathe.

On earth, as it is in Heaven...

"Hand me the gun, Yelena."

"As you wish, boss."

You felt someone crouch down next to you, someone dressed in expensive clothing, by the look of the trousers and polished shoes.

Give us this day our daily bread...

"You've got a very pretty voice." He lifted your chin up with the barrel of the gun, chills running down your spine.

"T-thank y-you..."

"Can you sing, little bird?"

"Y-yes."

And forgive us our trespasses...

Finally, you looked at the perpetrator — spellbinding grey eyes, platinum blonde hair slicked back and a matching goatee. His gaze was either boring or pitiful.

"Lucky you, we're hiring."

As we forgive those who trespass against us...

Anxiety coiled in your stomach, words caught up in your throat. You were still praying, unaware if this was all a sadistic joke or a miracle.

And lead us not into temptation...

Dark lashes fluttered, more tears streaming down your beautiful face as the gears in your head turned in a desperate attempt to understand what was happening.

But deliver us from evil...

"Hiring?" Your voice went up an octave when you saw the small stag pinned to the man's chest. The Jaeger family — the most feared mafia family in Paradis City.

For thine is the kingdom...

"A pretty voice like yours shouldn't go to waste." He got up and offered you his hand.

And the power, and the glory...

Reluctantly, you took it, helping yourself up and chewing your lower lip.

For ever and ever...

"T-thank you!" You told him, slender fingers squeezing his hand tightly. "I owe you m-my life."

Amen.

"Correct. Your life, your soul, your eyes and ears." He walked you to a car and opened the door for you. "Yelena, take us to the club. We've got business to discuss with my little brother."

•°.•°.•°.•°

Your eyes wandered all over the soundproof office, situated one floor above and opposite the stage. Every inch of the bar, the seating areas, everything was visible from that room. You tapped a finger on the wide window, eyes narrowed at the idea that it might, in fact, be bulletproof. These men were not playing, and you were now their property. The door opened and you jolted at the sound of music filling the office as your saviour walked in with two other people.

"This is my younger brother, Eren. You already know Yelena. I assume you know my name."

You nodded.

"Zeke Jaeger."

"Good girl." Zeke was pleased with your answer as he poured himself a glass of bourbon.

"I thought we didn't spare any witnesses." Eren shot you a look that made you regret being alive.

"Settle down, little brother. Tell us your name."

"Y/N, sir. Y/N Y/L/N." You swallowed, fingers fiddling with the hem of your blouse in an attempt to calm your nerves.

"You see, Eren, Y/N can sing." Zeke opened a drawer and pulled a gun out. More guns, more panic. Your eyes widened and your plump lips quivered when he aimed the gun at you with one hand, glass of alcohol in the other. "Sing or I paint the walls with your brains."

Your legs almost gave in at the threat — you knew it wasn't an empty one, and with all the courage you could muster, you closed your eyes and sang the first song that came to your mind, fucking Kiss from a Rose.

Your voice seemed to coat the people with honey, all three of them somewhat relaxing at the sweet sounds coming from your vocal cords.

"See, I told you she can sing." Zeke put the gun back in the drawer and closed it, swirling the bourbon in his glass before finishing it.

"Where do you live?" Eren crossed his arms, still suspicious of you.

"Historia's." You told him, eyes drifting to the ugly fur rug on the floor.

"The orphanage?"

"Yes."

"But you said you're nineteen." Zeke intervened, a brow quirked at you.

"I am. I try to help as much as possible in exchange for a bed and a roof over my head." You explained, eyeing the white couch that looked so incredibly comfortable.

"Just sit down already." Eren scoffed and you rushed to the furniture, mumbling thank you’s over and over.

"And why were you on that street tonight?" Yelena spoke for the first time since you came to the club. You looked at her and she seemed just as suspicious about you as Eren.

"I... the man you k-killed... he was... I'm-"

"A prostitute." Zeke nonchalantly interrupted you.

It was true. People like you, orphans, didn't have the privilege of being properly educated and finding well-paid jobs. Paradis was a jungle, and you did everything you could to survive. Everything.

"Well on the bright side you don't have to do that anymore." Zeke shrugged as he sunk deeper in his chair, feet on the desk, but you sensed he wasn't entirely honest. "You do have a beautiful voice, and our last girl had some... business to attend to, so you'll be taking her place."

"Is this why you called me here?" Eren sighed, leg impatiently shaking.

"Don't be stupid, of course not. I need Armin to prepare this month's tax reports and I need you to keep an eye on the police. They're sticking their nose in our business again, and I want them out of it. You two can go. Y/N, you stay." Zeke waved his hand and Eren and Yelena left, music briefly filling the office again.

You twiddled with the cushion in your lap, waiting for your new boss to say something. Being in that room was nerve-wracking, and you felt the air grow thick. Eventually Zeke took off his glasses, fingers rubbing the bridge of his nose as he sighed.

"Sir?" You dared, voice feeble and frail.

"What?" He clicked his tongue and you instantly regretted speaking.

"Sir, I'm not educated, but I've been on the streets long enough to know that every man or woman has a purpose..." You placed the cushion back. "...and a price. What's my purpose? I doubt it's only to sing."

Zeke nodded, fingers tracing the wooden desk.

"You're right, it isn't just to sing. It's to distract."

"Distract who? And from what?"

"You're asking an awful lot of questions for someone who's just witnessed a murder. You best not go to the police." He narrowed his eyes, piercing your soul. You sighed and walked to the desk, taking a seat opposite Zeke.

"It's not... my first murder." You confessed to him.

"Oh? My dear, you're full of surprises. Pray, tell. Drink?"

"Yes please." You answered, throat dry as a desert. "I can't go to the police. And even if I could, I wouldn't." The drink earned a disgusted look from you, but it was better than nothing. "Two years ago, I ended someone's life. He deserved it, he broke into Miss Historia's orphanage and tried to... to..."

"I understand." Zeke stopped you. "And if you go to the police, they'd do a background check on you." He continued, satisfied that he had a leverage in case you decided to turn against him.

"Exactly. And Historia helped me so much, I wouldn't want to put her in danger. So, I'm asking again, distract who from what?"

Zeke walked to the window, telling you to follow him. He pointed at two men, a tall blond one, and a short brunette one.

"See those two? They're policemen. They work for us, but we suspect they're double agents." He explained before pointing at three other men. "Those we suspect of being Marleyan mobsters. You see, Y/N, we have a lot of enemies. And we must keep our guard up every second of our lives."

You nodded, perfectly understanding Zeke's words. Paradis was a chess board and only the filthy rich played — the rest of you were pawns.

"Sir, you spared my life, and I know I can't ask for anything in return. But please, please don't drag Miss Historia into this. The children there did nothing wrong." Tears pooled at your eyes, rolling down your cheeks and you wiped them with the back of your hand. "I swear my loyalty to you."

"For someone uneducated, you're extremely clever." Zeke's voice was serious. You half-smiled at the compliment, but you knew the mess you got yourself into cut your lifespan severely. "Can you shoot?"

"No, sir."

"It's alright, Mikasa will teach you. Sleep on the couch tonight, I'll have Yelena bring you a blanket. Tomorrow you'll swear an oath in front of the family. And if you want to protect Historia, you'll move out of the orphanage."

You nodded. You understood that mingling with the mafia endangered everyone you loved, but you couldn't stop yourself from crying the entire night. Historia was but a few months older than you, yet she gladly took you in when she invested in that orphanage. Now you had to leave everything behind for her safety — and yours.

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pickalilywrites · 3 years

Note

Can we please get some Gabi/Falco? I loved From the Top of the Mountain; it’s one of the best works with those two out there. Maybe it takes place post Rumbling? Just something with those two

thanks!!! i'm glad you liked from the top of the mountain!! it's still one of my favorites too :) I hope you like this one too! have a good day ^-^

How to Be Brave

Falbi. Canonverse.

5136 words.

Read on Ao3!

Falco doesn’t know how Gabi does it. He’s never been the type to charge headfirst into the crossfire, but Gabi will do it without hesitation. Ever since Falco can remember, Gabi has never been afraid of anything. The first day they had been selected as Warrior trainees, she had marched into the classroom without a second glance. She does things with purpose, never second-guessing her actions or faltering. Every trigger Gabi pulls, she does without wavering, holding the gun steady as she takes aim. Every attack she carries out, she does so without batting an eye. Every battle, she runs straight into the battlefield. She’s fearless and the bravest person Falco has ever met.

Falco is not brave. He’s the biggest coward he knows. Despite being a Warrior candidate for years, he’s always hesitating. He fumbles with his gun, always pulling the trigger too late and missing his target because he’s never certain of where he should be aiming. He finds himself rooted to the ground far too often when he’s taken into the warzones, never knowing what step to take lest a mine blows up in his face. Falco’s never been at the head of a charge, and he’s not sure he ever will because if he pauses for even a second his whole entire squad will be blown to bits.

“Tell me how,” he tells Gabi one day. He walks up to her desk, tugging at his earlobe and biting his bottom lip. “Tell me how you do it.”

Gabi looks up at him from her textbook. Written exams are probably her weakest subject, but that’s not saying much considering how exemplary she is in the other ones. She’s hardworking and stubborn enough to compensate for her weakness anyway. With an eyebrow quirked, Gabi says, “I’m afraid you’re going to have to be more specific.”

Falco nibbles on his lip some more, fidgeting uncomfortably and tugging at the sleeves of his school uniform. How can he admit in front of Gabi that he’s afraid? He’s a coward, he knows, but it’s different saying it out loud in front of someone like Gabi. She’s the person that he admires the most. It’s highly likely that she already knows of his cowardice, but for Falco to say it out loud would only solidify that knowledge and he’s not even sure he can do that. The inner conflict he’s having of even voicing his problem out loud just shows how pathetically indecisive he is.

“I don’t know … how to be brave like you,” Falco says bitterly. His eyes turn away from Gabi. He hates how weak he feels right now, weaker than he’s ever felt before. “I … How do you do it? You never hesitate about anything. You always know where you want to go and how you want to do things. You never second-guess things. You’re always … brave and I … I’m not.”

He hates the sting in his eyes as he finds himself on the brink of tears. It figures that a weakling like him would be brought to tears over something so stupid. He wasn’t meant to be a Warrior, not like Gabi. Half the time, he doesn’t know why he was selected to become a candidate, but the rumors of the selection committee choosing him because of his family’s long-time loyalty and his elder brother’s position as the next Beast Titan feel more and more true each day. Without those connections, Falco probably never would have been chosen. He probably wouldn’t have even been noticed.

There’s a scrape of Gabi’s chair against the hardwood floor. When Falco looks up, Gabi is standing in front of him. She doesn’t look at him pityingly, but she doesn’t look disgusted either. He’s crying now, sniffling and trying to wipe the snot from his nose and the tears from his eyes, but Gabi is kind enough to pretend he isn’t.

“It’s not something I can teach you,” Gabi tells him, and Falco can feel his shoulder slump even more. She flicks her hair out of her face with a hand and continues. “‘Being brave’ or whatever … it’s just how I am. I was just born like this. You can’t learn it.”

It makes Falco feel like a fool for even bringing it up in the first place. So he’s just going to be a coward for the rest of his life, always second-guessing himself and being unsure if he’s doing the right thing while Gabi will always be charging ahead. It’s a part of Falco that he’ll never be able to change. He’ll just be a loser for the rest of his life.

Gabi sighs and it’s enough to make Falco flinch. He wants to apologize for wasting her time over such a stupid question. Of course, she’s right. Of course, he’ll always be lacking and scared and she’ll always be better than him. Of course, he’ll never make a proper Warrior. He’s about to bow his head and apologize, but Gabi speaks first.

“Look,” she says. Her voice is gentle now, lacking the usual fortissimo that Gabi usually speaks with. “We’re different, you and I. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it makes a difference on the battlefield.”

Falco nods. He’s known that for quite a while now, but it’s still difficult to hear it come from Gabi’s lips. “I … I know,” he mumbles.

“No, look,” Gabi says, waving her hand as if to tell Falco not to get upset. She looks up at the ceiling for a moment as she thinks of the proper way to proceed. After a moment, she claps her hand and begins to explain. “It’s like you said, right? I’m really good on the field because I don’t hesitate. I know my targets, I shoot without hesitating, and I never second-guess myself.”

Falco doesn’t quite know where she’s going with this, but he nods to show that he’s listening.

“It’s because I always know what to do,” Gabi says simply. Falco gives her a funny look, but she simply shrugs like she can’t give a better explanation. “I’m always certain about what needs to be done. I know myself well — how fast I can run, how far I can throw, how strong I am when I throw a punch — so I trust myself when I’m on the battlefield. I don’t hesitate because I never need to; I know what I’m capable of.”

Falco’s eyes are downcast once more. Everything Gabi says makes perfect sense. While Gabi knows and trusts herself completely, Falco doesn’t. His cowardice stems from the fact that he’s always afraid about his lack of abilities. Whenever he’s on the field or even just training, he’s always doubting himself. Is he able to run this distance without his legs giving out? Is he able to shoot this target without missing? Does he have the strength to charge into battle without collapsing midway? And the answer is always the same: it wavers first from thinking perhaps he might be able to do it if he strains himself before Falco begins to think that he doesn’t have the strength or stamina to do any of these tasks and then he inevitably falls into despair when he convinces himself that such things are impossible for him. His thoughts lead him to falter more and more with every step he takes, to have his hand waver every time he points a gun while his finger trembles on the trigger, and cause him to fall behind every time he’s ordered to run into the crossfire.

Falco supposes that’s it then. He’ll just be a coward for the rest of his life while Gabi will always be ahead, increasing the distance between them until she disappears from his view completely. He thinks that’s what he’s the most afraid of.

A hand appears in front of Falco and it surprises Falco when he realizes that it’s Gabi offering her hand to him. He’s not sure if he’s supposed to take it. His hand reaches out, but he never puts his hand in hers. His hand just hovers above hers awkwardly, uncertain even for this simple thing. It seems to surprise even Gabi, who looks at him with her eyebrows raised.

“It’s okay if you’re afraid. I’ll never be afraid of anything,” Gabi says. She puts her hand closer to his, wiggling her fingers to show him that it’s fine. “I’ll show you how to be brave, so just take my hand. I’ll stay by your side.”

He’s not sure if he can take her hand. Falco’s not sure if he deserves to be by her side. He’s afraid that he’ll only hold Gabi back. Is this really okay? Is he really worthy?

He clenches his fist before reaching out. Even if he doubts himself, he trusts Gabi. Gabi believes in him enough to offer him her hand. She trusts him enough to allow him by her side. She has faith in him even if he doesn’t.

Gabi smiles when Falco takes her hand, and he smiles back in response. It’s not as confident as her smile. It’s a little strained, a little uncertain, but it’s fine, Falco thinks, because he’s holding her hand. He’s not sure how this will all work out or if it ever will in the end. He doesn’t know if this will make him braver on the battlefield. He doesn’t know if it’ll lead to a happy ending, but for once that doesn’t matter. Holding Gabi’s hand, he forgets all his uncertainties and thinks that maybe he can be just a little bit braver.

»»————-　➴　————-««

Gabi doesn’t know how people do it — get out of bed, eat, function. She doesn’t remember how to act like a real human being. It takes nearly all her energy to get out of bed only for her to be so exhausted that she wants to collapse back against the pillows and sheets and cry herself to sleep like she has for so many nights.

She doesn’t know when this started, her inability to sleep, to eat, to wake. It’s post-traumatic stress disorder, a doctor said, because of the war. Gabi’s not so sure. It might have started before then, before the Founding Titan rose and the Walls of Paradis came crumbling down, before she had left Marley and vowed revenge for her friends and family, before Eren Jaeger declared war on Marley and destroyed her home, but Gabi isn’t sure when exactly it had begun. In the end, it probably doesn’t even matter.

A lot of days Mikasa comes in to check on Gabi, sitting on the edge of the young girl’s bed and stroking the hair from her face before asking how she’s feeling. Sometimes Gabi will mumble something about how she’s tired or sleepy, but the most frequent response is just the sound of silence as Gabi pretends to be asleep. Mikasa will stroke her hair and hum a song, some old Eldian song that Gabi doesn’t know, before leaving. Armin will often hover in the doorway, mumbling questions and trying to get through, but Mikasa will always usher him out. Gabi always hears them whisper to each other: Armin asking if she’s getting any better, if she needs to see the doctor again, if he should talk to her, and Mikasa will tell him that she just needs time to heal. They all need time to heal, but Gabi’s not sure she ever will. It feels like Gabi is the only one that feels this way: scared and sad and hopeless. There are days where she’s convinced that she’ll never get better.

Mikasa has her bad days, too. There are nights where Gabi will wake to Mikasa shaking her, screaming until Gabi opens her eyes and then the woman will cry with relief that “Sasha” is still alive. Some days Armin won’t leave the house at all, saying that he never wants to take a step outside because dreaming of the outside world is the thing that had cursed him in the first place. That’s what it’s like on their worst days.

On their best days, Armin and Mikasa will go for a walk. Maybe Gabi will get out of bed, but she’ll never join them outside. It’s too much for her. Even sitting down at the table and staring out the window can be overwhelming for her, but she’ll do it on days she feels strong enough. They are the best days because Armin and Mikasa will walk hand-in-hand and return home with smiles on their faces as if they hadn’t cried the entire night before. It is as if they forget all the horror of the war almost a year ago, but Gabi knows they’ll remember it when the sun sets and the night comes. But at least for a brief moment they can smile.

Gabi can never get herself to smile. It’s as if she had forgotten how. She thinks even if she were able to, she wouldn’t be able to bring herself to do it. It’s more than the depression or the stress or whatever psychological disorder the doctors are trying to diagnose her with to explain her melancholia. It’s like she’s scared of everything: of waking up, of leaving the house, of even the idea of being happy. She’s afraid she’ll never find a way to be happy again. She’s afraid she doesn’t deserve it.

It makes Gabi jealous when she sees Armin or Mikasa smile. She pulls her blankets over her head whenever she hears the two of them laugh together. She wants to scream when they hold hands. The truth is, though, that she wants to be able to smile, to laugh, to be held, but she doesn’t know how. She’s convinced that she will just have to be miserable for the rest of her life. It’s what she deserves anyway. She isn’t sure about anything else, but she knows that for certain.

Falco comes to visit sometimes. He comes at least once a week. He lives with Levi now that the war is over. (“It’s good that the old man has someone to take care of him,” Mikasa says once before Armin quickly chastises her for speaking about their former captain that way.) Falco never makes it past the doorway. He always comes to ask about Gabi, her condition, if she feels any better, if she’d like to go out for a walk with him because the fresh air might be good for her. Mikasa always tells him the same thing: that Gabi is still recovering, but that they’ll let him know when Gabi’s well enough to go outside. He never complains when he’s turned away.

One day he visits on a “good” day. Gabi sees him from the window walking up the path to the cabin. Even though she wonders if he sees her, she doesn’t wave. She just watches him as he follows up the path eventually leading to the front door. He knocks in the same familiar way that he always has — three quick raps of his knuckles against the hardwood — and Mikasa opens the door for him.

“Hi, Miss Mikasa. Mister Armin,” Falco’s voice says from the doorframe. He sounds good. Happy. Normal. He sounds like everything Gabi wishes she could be. She can hear him speak again, his voice a little more hesitant this time. “How … how is Gabi today? Do you think I could see her?”

Mikasa takes an uncertain glance at where Gabi sits. Gabi knows what she looks like: a mess. Her dark hair is in disarray, tangled from lying in bed all day. There are bags under her eyes because all her dreams are interrupted by nightmares. Her face is gaunt because she can hardly swallow more than three bites of food whenever she musters the energy to sit up for a meal. Gabi doesn’t blame Mikasa when the woman shakes her head and asks Falco to come back another time.

Gabi didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. She never says goodbye. She never even says hello. It’s because she’s too tired, too worn, too broken to even fathom greeting someone who seems to be doing worlds better than her. Every time Falco visits, she tells herself that she’ll feel better next time. She’ll be able to walk to the door and give him the smallest smile before inviting him in. They’ll be able to sit at the table and have tea that Armin brews for them. They’ll take a little bit about what Falco is doing and maybe he’ll invite her outside and she’ll think about it if she’s feeling better. If she ever feels better. If she can ever feel better.

The thought that Gabi might always feel this way — cold and alone and barely living as it is — seizes her. It makes her blood run cold and she grips the edge of the table with a hopeless desperation because this isn’t what she wants. She doesn’t want to be here, trapped by her own feelings of fear and grief and despair. She wants to be outside with Falco, to hold his hand, to smile. She doesn’t want to be alone anymore, but the idea that she can ever be happy is so hopelessly out of reach.

It must be in a fit of madness that she gets up from the table, her chair screeching as she pushes it back and nearly toppling over as Gabi runs to the door. The broken girl is stopped only by Mikasa, who grabs her by the elbow.

“Gabi, what is it?” Mikasa asks, eyes wide with alarm and her brow knit together in concern. Even as Gabi struggles to free herself from the woman’s grip, Mikasa holds onto the girl firmly. “What’s wrong?”

“Let go! I need to go!” Gabi says, and she’s crying now just like she always does these days. Tears stream down her face and taste like salt on her tongue. She swallows her sobs and wipes at her nose hastily with the back of her hand. “I want to see him! I want to see Falco.” It’s more than that though. She wants to see him. She has to see him. She needs to see him, but he’s already walking down the path, slowly growing smaller and threatening to disappear from view.

“Gabi, wait, just wait a minute,” Mikasa says. Her arms are wrapped around Gabi, holding the frail girl back even as Gabi struggles. Her face buried in Gabi’s shoulder, Mikasa says, “Wait a moment, Gabi, please.”

Gabi doesn’t want to hear it. She wants to fly out the door, run down the trail, and throw herself in Falco’s arms. She wants to be where he is, a place where the grass is greener, the sun is shining, and she can smile.

“Gabi,” Armin’s gentle voice calls. As Mikasa’s arms loosen around Gabi, the man drapes a soft cardigan around Gabi’s shoulders. It’s far too big for her but it smells like wood and freshly lit candles. Armin helps guide her arms through the sleeves and pulls the cardigan around her. “Gabi, don’t worry. He’ll wait for you.”

“But I have to go now,” Gabi says and she feels herself about to burst into tears once more.

“It’s fine,” Mikasa says and she reaches out to smooth a lock of hair away from Gabi’s forehead. She gives the girl a comforting smile. “Just … come back home, okay?”

Gabi pauses and then gives them a nod. Without warning, she throws arms around both her guardians and whispers a quick, “Thank you.” She feels their arms squeeze her back in reply and as soon as they let go, she dashes out the door.

It’s been so long since she last exerted herself. Gabi’s breathless after the first few seconds, panting hard and gasping for breath. She doesn’t remember the last time she had been this exhausted. Even during her grueling training periods as a Marleyan Warrior she can’t recall getting tired so quickly. Her legs are beginning to ache even though she hasn’t even run a hundred meters from the cabin. Her lungs feel as if they’re about to burst, burning with every breath she takes. Her body hurts too much. She doesn’t know how far she can go, how many more steps she can take before she collapses, but she can’t stop.

She can see Falco in the distance, his back turned to her. He doesn’t realize that she’s running after him. Why doesn’t he know? If she calls him now, will he turn back?

Gabi doesn’t think she has the strength to call his name, but she musters whatever energy she has left and screams his name as loudly as she can. “Falco!” she shouts, and even she can hear how weak her voice is. “Falco! Falco, Falco!”

It’s only after the third call that Falco turns around. Gabi is close enough to see his face. His lips are parted, shaped in a perfect “O.” For a moment, she’s afraid that he’ll turn away from her, that he’ll abandon her, but he stays rooted in place, waiting for her. She’s so relieved she can cry.

“Falco, Falco!” Gabi sobs. She calls his name the entire way. She’s so tired that she doesn’t know how she’s able to make it. She doesn’t stop until she’s right in front of him, falling into his arms and clinging onto him because he’s the only thing that’s keeping her standing.

“Hey, hey,” Falco says gently. It’s so comforting to hear his voice so close to her. It’s deeper than Gabi remembers, but it’s still so warm and familiar. “Gabi, it’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

“Help me, help me,” she begs, her voice shaking. She holds so tightly to him that she might tear the sleeves of his shirt. She just wants him close. She wants him closer. “Help me, please.” When she sinks to the ground, he does too, holding her in his arms to cushion her fall.

“Help you?” Falco repeats. He doesn’t ask her why and he doesn’t ask her what for. He just raises her head, his hand gentle as he lifts her chin. She sees his blue eyes wide with concern. She feels his other hand wipe away her tears as he asks her, “How?”

“Make me … help me … be happier,” she tells him, and she feels so pathetic for asking him for such a thing. There used to be days where she’d smile all the time and laughter was not far from her lips. Happiness came easily to her, but those days are long gone. She doesn’t know if she remembers how to smile anymore. It’s something a child can do, but she finds it so impossible.

How had she become so helpless and pitiful? Once, she had been a proud warrior. She could wield a gun and fire it without thinking twice. Now, she can hardly get out of bed in the morning because the thought of it terrifies her.

“I just want to be happier,” Gabi whispers. Her voice is so quiet that she’s afraid that her words go unheard, but Falco quickly clasps her hands in his.

“Then you should be. Why shouldn’t you?” Falco tells her with such sincerity that she thinks she might cry again. “Isn’t it what you deserve? You deserve to be happy, Gabi.”

She should be grateful that he thinks so, but for some reason she hates hearing it from his lips. It’s what she wants to hear the most. It comes from the person she cares about the most, but she knows that the words he says are not true.

“No.” Gabi shakes her head. Tears begin to roll down her cheeks again. There’s no point in stopping them. She begins to pull her hands away from Falco’s, but he holds tightly to her. It almost hurts for her hands to be held so tightly, but his hands are so warm around hers. “No, Falco, I … of all people, I deserve it the least. I … how can I be happy after everything that has happened?

“I killed people,” she tells him as if he doesn’t know this already, as if he hadn’t been there when she had blown the trigger, as if he hadn’t seen her paint her own hands with blood. Gabi shakes her head when Falco begins to open his mouth to interrupt. Whatever words of comfort he has for her, she doesn’t deserve them. “I killed people thinking they were monsters, but the whole time the monster had been me.”

“Gabi, please,” Falco pleads. He tugs her hands closer, pulls her in closer to him. “That wasn’t your fault. The things we were taught … the world we lived in … how were we to know right from wrong?”

Gabi shakes her head, dark hair falling into her face and obscuring her vision. “And all of our friends … our family,” Gabi says. She closes her eyes and her tears burn down her cheeks. She used to be able to conjure up the faces of her loved ones so easily with her eyes closed, but now their features are faded to her. She’s unsure of the smallest details — the right angle of their nose, the thickness of their eyelashes, the exact shade of their hair — and she’s afraid that in time they will completely fade from her memory. “I couldn’t save them and it’s all my fault.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Falco reaches out with a hand and brushes her hair from her face, tenderly tucking it behind her ears. When Gabi glances up at him, he looks at her with eyes full of sincerity like he knows his words to be true. “It wasn’t your fault, Gabi. Nothing was your fault.”

Falco leans over and hugs her tightly. He rests one hand on the back of her head, letting Gabi’s head lay on his shoulder as she continues to sob. He strokes the top of her head and continues. “They wouldn’t blame you either, Gabi. Nobody would. They wouldn’t want to see you like this. They would want you to be happy,” he tells her. “All they would want is for you to be happy, so don’t you think it’s time for you to stop punishing yourself?”

Gabi wishes she could. She wishes she could stop crying. She wishes she could live a normal life. She wishes she could be happy.

“But I’m scared,” she whispers.

She’s scared that she doesn’t deserve to be happy even if people say otherwise. She’s scared that she’ll muster the courage to get out of bed and eat and leave the house only to be reminded that she doesn’t deserve any of those things. She’s scared that she’ll try to live normally only for something to go terribly wrong — for the world to tremble underneath her feet, for the sky to fall, for the earth to shatter in front of her very eyes — because the universe knows she doesn’t deserve any bit of happiness in her life.

She even hesitates to indulge in little pleasures. She’s unsure if she should eat more than a bite of the food Armin prepares. She’s uncertain if she should reciprocate the hugs that Armin and Mikasa give her. She doesn’t know if she should even go outside and enjoy the scenery because everything is more than she deserves.

“I’m scared,” Gabi repeats. She holds onto Falco tighter, her fingernails digging into his shoulder, but he doesn’t pull away. “I’m scared and terrified of everything. I’m too afraid to ever be happy.”

Falco squeezes her tightly. “Then I’ll teach you how,” he tells her. He says it like a promise. He pulls away slightly. It’s far enough so that he can see her face but still close enough that he can hold her in his arms. He’s smiling now. It’s not broad and carefree like it used to be when they were children. It’s a little cracked at the edges, a little forced, a little bit pained. It’s a little bit hopeful. “In a world like this … it’s brave to try to be happy, but it’s hard being brave, isn’t it?” His voice isn’t mocking. It’s gentle. Sweet. Understanding.

Gabi feels exhausted. She doesn’t have the energy to answer in words. She just gives him a simple nod.

“You don’t have to be alone, Gabi,” Falco tells her. “You have me. You have Miss Mikasa and you have Mister Armin. You have all of these people who care about you. You have all these people who want you to be happy, and we’re always going to be there to help you.”

“Thank you,” Gabi whispers. She slumps against Falco, his arms the only thing holding her up. She’s crying again, but she cries tears of gratitude this time because Falco says everything she’s always needed to hear. For the first time in a long time, she feels hopeful. She says the words she’s always wanted to say out loud: “I want to be happy.”

Falco smiles a little more broadly this time. It’s not the same smile as when they were kids. Gabi’s not sure they will ever be able to smile the same way again, but she still wants to smile again. She wants to smile with him.

“I’ll help you,” he tells her. Falco stands up, but he doesn’t bother brushing the dirt from his clothing. Instead, he reaches out a hand towards Gabi. “Let’s be happy together, Gabi.”

She’s not sure if she should take his hand. She doesn’t know if she should rely this much on him, if she should be this much of a burden to him, if she deserves his help, but she wants it so badly. There’s a possibility that she won’t ever be happy even with Falco’s help. There’s a chance that she still might not be able to smile. There’s a risk that this might all just be a fool’s dream … but it’s a risk that Gabi wants to take.

Gabi puts her hand in Falco’s and lets him pull her up. She lets him fuss with her hair and clothing, lets him run his hand through her hair to get out the tangle and brush at the skirt of her nightgown so that the dirt doesn’t stick. She lets him take care of her and when he looks at her to make sure she’s okay, she gives him a smile.

It’s far from perfect. It’s hardly a smile at all. It’s just her lips with the edges curled slightly upward. The smile doesn’t reach her eyes. Even Gabi knows it’s a pathetic attempt and it hurts to stretch her lips this way. She can feel her smile crumbling at the edges. It’s scared and broken and uncertain … and hopeful.

#falbi #falco grice #gabi braun #snk #canonverse #requests #anonymous #anon #answered #me: i'm gonna publish stuff on a schedule #also me: i'm gonna publish whenever i want b/c I'm a mess

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rivahisu107 · 3 years

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Queen Historia: The Uprising Callback & How Levi Influenced Her

One of the biggest debated points of Historia by the end of the series other than what the point of her pregnancy was and how exactly it happened happens to be her rise to be the Queen of a now regime-run Paradis. Did she really keep quiet because she supported Eren in his endeavor? Did she have her memories wiped? Was she blackmailed?

Whatever happened, there is a huge moment from back in Uprising when she was first put into this mess by Levi- whom I am very fond of finding all kinds of parallels and complements with and writing about. We are going to focus on the time that Levi made Historia the queen of Paradis and how his words make sense in the context of her actions as Queen now.

The rest of the world is suffering the consequences of the Rumbling. By the rest of the world, I mean those outside of Paradis who have survived and are living in refugee camps or in reconstructed or undamaged parts of civilization.

The rest of the world. Humanity. Those meant very different things back in the Uprising arc. Humanity inside the Walls was the whole world to its inhabitants. And we can’t forget about the fact that the whole uprising happened because of the exposure of the false king and the secrets the real royal family was hiding about the Titans in the Walls. The whole of this version of humanity was at stake, what with Titans that could be falling from the sky or burying their way under the ground next.

It was harsh and cruel of Levi to have terrified Historia the way he did (which he rightfully apologizes for later), but he had to make a point to the rest of the Corps. They had to be ready for anything to happen when the Titans would strike next. They did not have all the time, strength, and choices to keep with the current regime of monarchy.

As for Levi’s thoughts on whether he would face the hell of the Titans or the hell of humanity at each other’s necks:

“At least that way, all of humanity doesn’t have to be damned.”

Historia has no time to be fumbling around with such a decision with the fate of humanity, which will be either at the mouths of the Titans or at the throats of each other.

“If we could simply seize control of the world....” And the rest is history. Queen Historia takes the crown. Levi fully entrusts her.

And skip ahead about seven years later. We find out humanity is much more than what is on an island. But most of it has been wiped out by the Rumbling. Paradis is functioning under the Jaeger Faction, overseen by Queen Historia.

Unfortunately, there is no world peace or understanding from many of the islanders or those outside of the island.

“This fight will not end until either Eldia or the world disappears.”

The former puppet Queen really had to rise to be the true Queen at this point because that entire speech that Levi said years ago when she was still young and scared came true. It’s not the idealized world that the Survey Corps fought for without Titans, but at least the hell of being eaten over and over will not continue. She is having to deal with the realism of the situation that they are living in and keep on fighting to survive. It’s going to be humans versus humans from now on. At least not all of them will be damned.

And note how Historia is awaiting the arrival of her old friends to try to negotiate peace. She is not at the rally that the military faction is leading.

It’s very sad, but Djel Sannes had the writing on the wall set back in the Uprising arc too. In fact, Hange remembers his words not once but twice after the time skip.

Hange was doing her best as commander to try to find a solution to the problems that the large outside world was pressing on Paradis while also trying to handle the situation from the inside where they had to try to hide the secrets that they were carrying. But unfortunately, they have fallen to where the old regime was prior to Uprising.

On a personal note, I have strongly speculated about the role that Historia’s pregnancy has played in all this- a very unorthodox theory- and how Levi and Hange are involved. But either way, Historia’s rise to become the ruler she is was hinted as far back as Uprising thanks to Levi. And he doesn’t deny it either.

And bonus. I still can’t get over how the two are drawn with the exact same facial expressions when both are stuck in chairs without the usual strength or motivation to fight back in the cruel and beautiful world.

#attack on titan #character analysis #levi ackerman #historia reiss #rivahisu

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it-sy-bit-sy · 3 years

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The ending of Attack on Titan: a shallow analysis

(I don't think I should have to put a spoilers alert on a blog about the ENDING OF AOT, but in general if you mind being spoiled on a series, I advise you to refrain from attending discussions about the body of work until you've finished it in its entirety/come up to speed on the current chapter/episode. Screw hype dude, do you like being hurt? Also for the TLDR, it’s that Attack on Titan explores the cycle of hatred (Eren’s journey) AND love which is why Mikasa and Ymir become relevant at the end of the story.)

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PREFACE

Since the newly added panels of AOT’s ending have been likened by some to the ending of Naruto, I'd like to say that Naruto's end truly hurt me; the way it flows into Boruto is so contrived it burns. A story that's always centered around powerful ninja bloodlines fighting political wars suddenly introduced aliens that harvest planets for energy as the super antagonist, and additionally they're the source of all our characters' powers as well as the jinchuriki and tailed beasts themselves. Then when you look at the plot of Boruto which heavily relies on the Otsutsuki clan as an antagonistic force, their whole existence feels like the transition from Dragon Ball straight into the first DBZ arc with Goku learning he’s really part of an alien race that was meant to destroy Earth.

I didn't detect so forced a role in the ending of AOT, but it's absolutely plausible to speculate that the alternate ending was influenced for this reason, as we know Attack on Titan wasn't produced through Isayama's involvement alone. Certain compromises are made when operating as a team, though it would be wonderful if the original intent of authors were more absolute in the world of production than they are known to be.

And as much as I don't enjoy half-hearted continuations of series for a royalty check, I ALMOST can't blame them for doing it...it creates (many) happy fans, more jobs, and Isayama gets his royalty check. The rest of us suffer but hey, artists need money I guess... 🥀 Moving on. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#1. Eren's development as a character

I never saw Eren's goal steered in the direction of breaking the cycle of revenge or hatred. He was acting wholly in his own interests. He's intensely selfish, doesn't want to change his views, and exists in the story to further the cycle itself. According to me, Chapters 129 and 131 perfectly explain his motivations for the rumbling.

Now before I go on, I'd like to bring a particular scene to mind. I do remember him saying this once (to Historia who had just told him killing the rest of the world is unjustifiable and wrong):

Yes, he said that, but I don't think that is what he ever intended the rumbling to be used for.

After he stated that 80% of humanity was wiped out so Paradis will be safe for the time being, he neglected to answer Armin's questions in 139: "Did you really need to go that far? Are you sure you did all of this for our sakes?" We may also consider the thoughts he chose NOT to share in chapter 131:

That combined with this excerpt from 129 is pretty much all there is to Eren's convictions.

Those are the same words he said in Chapter 2 after his mother died.

So despite his brief period of self-loathing when considering 1) the countless lives in survey corps sacrificed for his sake, 2) being confronted with his and his father's involvement in the Reiss family, 3) everything he learned about his enemy--that all titans are formerly human, that the titan shifters were just children deceived by their world--he even admits to Reiner during Tyburn's speech (Chapter 100) that they are indeed in the same boat--and on top of that, admitting that the rumbling will do nothing to fix the course of history, he settled with the same conviction he held the moment he decided to do something to change the world.

Again, here's his words from 139 showing us just how angry a boi Eren was.

This was Eren Jaeger...he didn't even really know what he was doing.

As a human being, Eren was very much in the cycle of revenge as much as everyone else was. His course of action never deviated too far from that path. He knew better, but he lashed out at the world to protect the few people he cared about anyway. He took freedom away from the ones who threatened him. He was a mass murderer, and so were the other soldiers in this series fighting for their own reasons, since titans were people. Survey corps were always slaughtering these people whom they saw as monsters. Marley viewed Eldians as monstrously and with as much hatred as Eldians viewed the titans. Eren did not try to justify his actions to everyone. He simply stopped seeing the value of life in others not important to him, as humans often do.

So what did he sacrifice 80% of humanity for? From 129 again:

Them meaning his immediate friends.

No, he didn't care about their children's children and beyond because there's no way to control what happens when you're gone from this world. It wasn't his problem. Eren had 4 years at most left to live, and he wanted to do what he could to ensure his friends were happy before he left.

And as jarring as it was to see Eren become undone in the last chapter, I didn't find it completely out of character, because for one he was talking to his closest friend moments before his own death, and secondly, Eren was just a stupid human like the rest of the people in this series. Obviously, most people just want a normal life that they can spend with people whom they love. Eren was the same way, but was denied that future (and happened to be able to do something about it). Very selfish goals, but those chosen few were his world. Along with a general distaste for humanity, that's how I understand his character motivations.

*Which is to say in relation to the extra pages, Ymir's curse returning a generation or two after the events of AOT doesn't entirely void his actions. I’m assuming the power of Ymir apparently exists as a force of nature on this version of Earth period, so I suppose this points us to an endless cycle of humans eventually finding the power and using it as they see fit *

#2 Why is Romance Relevant to Attack on Titan?

I wasn't expecting a romance factor to be relevant at the end of the story, however considering that Mikasa's affection for Eren WAS her most prominent personality trait as a character, then the events that followed, I was forced to look back to a few moments in the series that could lend light to why, in the end, a romantic subplot ended the curse of Ymir. My conclusions are as follows:

1. Quite literally, the cycle of hatred never ends. Humans will always have a reason to be unkind to one another. We are animals after all; this trait cannot be reasoned through with logic, bred out, or defeated. We are a self-aware species (Eren's even aware of his own hypocrisy in Chapter 131). There will always arise those who take what they want for themselves because they decide in the end they don't care about others as much as they care about their own interests.

2. To make this second point, I'm stealing these words out of a certain machine lifeform's mouth, but bear with me here:

"But the humans...? Now THEY are interesting. Because they are an enigma! They killed uncountable numbers of their own kind, yet loved in equal measure! It's fascinating, don't you think? What could possibly drive such behavior? We have dedicated ourselves to unraveling this riddle of humanity..."

--Adam from NieR:Automata

AOT uses Eren and Mikasa as a case study of humanity. Humans hate and love in equal measure.

In Ch. 129, Zeke's piece here foreshadows the significance of those two for the story, I guess?

Now everyone reading this series as well as the characters in it had noticed how much fondness Mikasa always had for Eren, and how aloof he always was towards her in return...that's something for them to work out.

Despite never really reciprocating Mikasa's feelings, Eren told Armin at the end of the series that yes, he enjoyed receiving her attention; he would have liked to live a happy life with her. So, Mikasa just liked Eren, Eren liked her... And similar to Mikasa, Ymir just liked King Fritz. It doesn't matter whether we think these feelings were sound or not; they did what they wanted with themselves. I suppose that explains the reason she was a mega simp for Eren in the whole story. Yes, this turn in the story reads like a different plot now, not one about war and killing monsters, but I'm pleasantly surprised that this trait taken as a flaw of Mikasa’s actually served as a necessary condition to end the conflict of the titans.

Eren wouldn't let go of his hatred of the world for his own satisfaction, Ymir wouldn't let go of her love of King Fritz for her own satisfaction, and Mikasa is the only one who decided to let go of her convictions in the interest of someone other than herself. That's what moved the curse.

I think Isayama used the characters of Ymir and Mikasa to demonstrate that while there is a cycle of hatred and revenge running rampant in humanity, the cycle of love doesn't stop either.

In closing, and I truly apologize for such a lengthy post; I hope I didn’t reiterate my point too often here...I didn't think about any of this until I heard so many readers upset with the way AOT ended. I'm not personally left with any disappointment in where the story went. I didn't know where it was going to go in the first place, and I think it could have been much worse for us in different hands.

*shrugs*

AOT is a story about the nature of humanity.

*And in regards to Jean, if that is supposed to be him with Mikasa in the new panels, all I can say is dude likes his girl. He was a simp for her and she was a simp for Eren, but the fact that they shared their lives together means a lot even if Eren was never completely buried in her heart. He meant a lot to her man, idk...

#aot #attack on titan #eren jaeger #end of aot #boruto #adam nier automata #nier automata #mikasa ackerman #ymir fritz

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