I am destined for.....

Brainstorming with Niko (7w6 ESFP, he don’t need no Tumblr), moulded bread at the midnight crossroad and a chant rendition of American Pie:

1: connection

2: reception

3: mentorship

4: expression

5: stimulation

6: unification

7: inspiration

8: liberation

9: manifestation

Edit: I'm actually a 9 so if you relate you may want to check your type

As an ennea5 at times I have a desire/need to feel more involved in stuff and be actually less detached. But it's so difficult bc detaching comes so naturally. But since I sometimes struggle to feel more and be more involved, I have questioned whether Im actually a 5. But the very presence of this issue points to the opposite, lmao.

Idk if I feel like this bc Im on the healthy side of average or... Idk? It's not like Ive always felt like this

Like literally what else could bring a 5 to notice and sometimes act on their desire of deeper connection and then at the last minute fall back into more natural detachment mechanisms?

I can think of so many examples irl of this it's embarassing lmaooo

Like who the fuck struggles to feel more? Like isnt that something that supposedly comes up spontaneously?

And dont get me wrong, I do feel, it's just, complicated. Id say I feel even an awful lot but I have a natural reaction of quieting down and silencing my reactions and it is at times actually pretty frustrating. Like I can think of instances where detaching came from being a cute flaw to actually be a p frustrating and sad experience

Idk do any other 5s force themselves to be more emotionally involved in stuff?

Edit: I'm actually a 9 so if you relate you may want to check your type

enneagram types as passenger songs

type one: I Hate - “i hate people in nightclubs, snorting coke and explaining where your going wrong, well if you agree, then come hating with me. and feel free to sing along.” ( https://open.spotify.com/track/0gzNvkMhODpRtqVr3ink5g?si=5dGXMiPfSN-4KzSNWvD4UA )

other pick: Somebody’s Love - “but with no fire there is no light with no light you'll never see all the colors in the world, and all the love that's inside me” (https://open.spotify.com/track/5BcFYp0b986w9L50ItRV9q?si=3Dh_y8m9SeCmOSZ4uxtQJg)

type two: Lanterns - “be a lantern burning, never gonna go out. though the winds are turning, never gonna blow out... be a lantern burning when your fire is burning low.”          ( https://open.spotify.com/track/42fyB9HdEfkAqZ8u80Zh2K?si=VXrToaWjQ9ewid3F4AisZA )

other pick: I’ll Be Your Man “show me one shining star i'll show you the sky, bring all your old scars and i'll kiss them goodbye. will you show me where to start will you show me where to stand. for one last time give me your heart, and i'll be your man”             ( https://open.spotify.com/track/5Wu8be1j6TkIt0lgqhtmvD?si=2JGgNeGgTkawtnHSGdFGiA )

type three: Holes - “now i've got a hole in my pocket, a hole in my shirt a whole lot of trouble, he said. but now the money is gone life carries on and i miss it like a hole in the head... now he left a in hole in my heart a hole in a promise a hole on the side of my bed now that he's gone well life carries on and i miss him like a hole in the head” ( https://open.spotify.com/track/1J57P3cwltq4OG9flDTc12?si=k_HhDq4KQwuF_0MPJMJYvA )

other pick: Rolling Stone - “sometimes i feel i'm going nowhere, sometimes i'm sure i never will. she said it's 'cause i'm always moving. i never notice 'cause i never stand still.’”   ( https://open.spotify.com/track/5dN7IZ7xtwh9OjtmA8CJN2?si=fNwphB25R0ypeLQ7CLK5fw )

type four: The Way That I Love You - “discard what is fake, keep what is real. pursue what you love, embrace how you feel” ( https://open.spotify.com/track/14aauQ5Mtkan09WgRkUriF?si=OFQOySobRper1K2RZAng9A )

other pick: Fairytales and Firesides- “we are coffeehouse cynics, too righteous, too rigid to believe. disappointed romantics, scraping the heart's from our sleeves.”           ( https://open.spotify.com/track/0M8y8NSZvFrWGzTmDsDhwu?si=vfCUaEoMST6y-fEx_MJfYA )

type five: House on a Hill - “in an old house on a hillside, next to the sea. there's a warm light on a cold night and clean cotton sheets. soap smelling skin and tingling feet. with stars lining the skyline and shine through the trees...and when the autumn comes down, we'll get what we need from the town.” ( https://open.spotify.com/track/69aqLRiDcn7IWledgqE37E?si=QNXvl5jgTvaJWi7bQKh-Pw )

other pick: Table for One - “so i sit on this table for one, and pour me a drink that'll last. i'm not drunk i just miss being young, and i grew old so fast... 'cause i've swallowed my tongue, and i've polished my gun, and i’ve sat on my secrets for years with my stiff upper lip my composure won't slip, and i've hidden each silent salty tear.”     ( https://open.spotify.com/track/7M97bveNtmOH81lo1Ad0VN?si=2azWKRjlQTi3CmcJXc210A )

type six:  The Wrong Direction - “'cause i'd love to feel love but i can't stand the rejection i hide behind my jokes as a form of protection i thought i was close but under further inspection it seems I've been running in the wrong direction.” ( https://open.spotify.com/track/0fbi6F2BG3Ayb8xEuxUspt?si=_klwmSQfQZmQR7-U6g7pVw )

other pick: Rosie - “well, rosie, don't be scared by the storm outside. we are safe and warm, we are home and drt. and though it rages on, there's no need to cry. oh, rosie, don't you worry, my dear.” ( https://open.spotify.com/track/09t8F6vwElB6scMtsGpyaP?si=YSpAmOuWSSiCeTVRKGKPaQ )

type seven: Keep On Walking - “and i thought to myself oh, son, you may be lost in more ways than one but I have a feeling that it's more fun than knowing exactly where you are.” ( https://open.spotify.com/track/6q3ASEz1mMuUXkO9wu2WOR?si=8E_u7TJGTh-5by52T8x22g )

other pick:  Setting Suns - “all my life i've been chasing setting suns, see me running up the hill when the evening comes. They get further away the faster that i run. i’m getting old and tired of chasing setting suns.” ( https://open.spotify.com/track/2dQUWHoHEwFVJBQwPhNWRj?si=Z2LZUVnJRmWNdN1nGgHDFA )

type eight: All the Little Lights - “we're born with millions of little lights shining in the dark, and they show us the way. one lights up, every time you feel love in your heart, one dies when it moves away.” ( https://open.spotify.com/track/5QrqXOTpWw4MfoDlHfCdBL?si=fzWoqbGURhmBU4ZtAsAcrw 

other pick: Walls - “when i built these walls with bricks and stones, i built them all around. i built these walls a long time ago, she ain't gonna take 'em down no, she ain't gonna break 'em down.” ( https://open.spotify.com/track/2zkgbt6A9ZI6pq7dAL0EQ5?si=4nfqZxlBQ_mqnYBP3D1rog )

type nine: Simple Song - “it's just a simple song nothing right or wrong you can sing along if you want to. well, i know it's not been easy but easy ain't worth singing about. yeah, I know, I know, the time goes slow but it's always running.” out.”                        ( https://open.spotify.com/track/70HWRkitkAKfos500LBk0T?si=-_8Mnhf9QbSEV4BMpTjl6A )

other pick: Whispers - “well i wait in line so i can wait some more 'til i can't remember what i came here for but i can't leave now 'cause i've a light that shines and a love so pure but i don't know what to use them for i should know by now... you see all i need's a whisper in a world that only shouts.”     ( https://open.spotify.com/track/5gKw4qH7dQLNuMyjE4xYAF?si=3mBV7nwWS8mz79MCXuc4MA )

Participate in body-based activity and learn to ground yourself. Allow yourself to experience your feelings in the here-and-now instead of detaching and retreating into your mind. Join a group which encourages self-disclosure, like gestalt therapy or oral tradition Enneagram workshops. Notice how secrecy and intellectual superiority create separation and withdrawing and withholding invite intrusion. Cultivate more here-and-now behavior, particularly allowing yourself luxuries. Notice how much you like to control your space/time/energy and manipulate others by restricting what and when you will give. Start to allow the control to drop. Find ways to engage in conversation, to express yourself, and to reveal personal matters. Take action, realizing that you have ample energy and support to carry it off.

am the person who asked about the stacks of a 5 and yeah, can confirm, i have social anxiety lmao

I should note that I don’t think there’s a one to one link. This is less for you, more for a bunch of people who are bound to interpret this a certain way, but social anxiety alone does not an ennea5 make (and not having social anxiety is not a disproof of 5)

So an intp ennea4 would relate to infp, and infp ennea5 would relate to intp descriptions, right? Then how would you tell the difference? I think identifying the core fear of the enneagram would probably be the identifying factor, but if you’re a 4 with a 5 fix or vice versa it’ll still be tricky to tell the difference...

How would you describe the difference between an INFP 9w8 and an INFP 9w1?

INFP 9w1: sees the movie of their favorite book, tries to enjoy it but is lowkey annoyed by all the plot holes that their ennea5 friend is pointing out and trying to explain to them how the plot made sense in the bookINFP 9w8: cosplayed at the premier, more obviously upset that the actor isn’t as connected to the soul of the character as they are

Fake Individuation

Imagine this. You’re an enneagram Five.

You feel the need to hide from the world. It would suck up all your energy. You feel the need to occupy as little space as possible, so that the world won’t make any demands on you. You feel the need to close off and keep the world at a distance. The world is just so demanding. It tires you out - physically, emotionally, mentally. You retreat in your cocoon, where you feel safer. You observe the world from the outside.  You vaguely wonder what it’s like to roam around freely and occupy as much as space as everyone else seem to be doing naturally. Then you decide that you’re better off staying where you are. At least here you don’t feel invaded all the time. You remember vividly the times in the past where you felt invaded, or can remember if you try hard enough. It felt overwhelming. It felt like you were being teared apart, dissipating, disappearing. Like you were nothing and no one. It hurted. It hurted so much you now just closed off the entire world out, so as not the end up in that situation again. It somewhat makes you nostalgic, because you feel like you’ve given up on love. But if that’s what it takes to be an individual and find yourself again, then that’s fine. That’s fine, you tell yourself. Rather than reliving that nightmare, giving up on love is fine, you say. So you catch yourself resisting. Resisting to the flux, resisting on giving up yourself again to that person who seemed to demand too much out of you, who spoke with you gently and wanted to make you feel seen. Resist, resist, resist. Resist the impulse of giving yourself up. Maybe in the past this need was almost neurotic and brought you regret. Resist - that’s the way you find a sense of self, almost. What are you resisting? What are you trying to avoid to be impacted by? Why do you try so hard to isolate and find a sense of self? Deep inside you know. It’s because you feel so desperately the want and desire to be loved and to love that it’s overwhelming. You fear you may give yourself up too easily if you were to just give a tiny tidbit of yourself to the world. If you accept feeling seen once you’ll want to be seen over and over again. If you accept to be loved by someone you feel like you may end up being engulfed by that love and to lose yourself in it completely. But you need to resist that impulse, so that you won’t lose yourself. Why do you need to resist so much? Because you would otherwise lose yourself in the flux of reality and people. Because you would otherwise be invaded by the world, pulled in, lose control of yourself, your wants and desires. Yeah, maybe this is all a recurring theme of yours, I can’t possibly know. You realize your little bubble and space is indeed related to the outside world, in the sense that you’re resisting to be involved by it so much. Maybe one day you’ll be able to be involved and touched by it like everyone else. Maybe one day you’ll be able to love and be loved again. But right now that sounds a little terrifying, truth be told... If you were to be described like a lonely rover on Mars you would giggle, thinking that’s cute and makes you feel independent and all, but also... deep inside you feel it’s actually kind of sad, and you wish there was a way to at least keep some kind of contact to the earth.

I don’t know how to break it to you but this is all Enneagram Nine. Throw out the window all the generic descriptions about being a fucking doormat.

From here:

“9’s aren’t consciously afraid of being separated. They are just unconsciously always in a place where they naturally become everyone/everything. The gut centre focus is on ego boundaries and 9’s have a fluid one. This can often cause 9’s to consciously revolt against this natural process and crystallize some kind of separate identity. In a way, 9’s can end up being the most stubborn about exactly “who they are” as they try to keep their feet firmly on the ground in terms of their own ego boundary. So when a 9 reads that the core fear is “fear of loss/separation” they might think, “Hell, I’m the opposite.” 9’s often equate being different/unique with ego boundaries. I often catch 9’s mistyped as 4’s using specific language that points to type 9. For example they might say that they are just trying to be themselves as if the world is forcing them to be otherwise. This implies that there’s a natural propensity to lose themselves in others that’s essentially unconscious and they are fighting against that impulse and desperately want the validation that they are in fact a specific separate personality. It is in our nature as social beings to want our own unique identity.“

What are Fives then? Are they really actually SEPARATED THAT much? Like they were “a lonely rover on Mars” and GENUINELY happy by that idea? Apparently yes. “Oh but that’s unhealthy” yeah it is, from your Nine point of view of wanting to be connected to someone/something/reality. I don’t know much about Fives but if your enneatype is UNCONSCIOUS and its desires are as unconscious as mine as a Nine are, then yeah, they are genuinely happy by that idea and don’t think themselves of “getting over it” anywhere near the future, or ever, for that matter. Is it difficult to imagine a person like that? I guess. Fives are rare, in fact. “Oh but everyone wants to be loved by people deep inside” I don’t know? But that may be untrue in that most people are Nines so it makes sense that “oh but everyone-” and Nineish stuff actually follows. They may want/find love but it will only be in their rigid terms... and certainly not in the form of being liked by people in general or whatever. Having a repressed need to be liked by people around you is just not Five, sorry. “Oh but who wants to be hated/disliked by people around them?” I don’t know, some do I guess. There’s many people in the world not everyone will work like you do. Fives are rigid about what they want and how they spend their time. As I tried to connect with people, I was kind of malleable - I mean, not too much, in that I wanted to respect myself and my space, but I still had very little expectations from others coming in and was willing to adapt.

I felt like I was “growing and getting healthy” as I started to connect with people more and more, and in a way I am, but the main thing is that I’ve been satisfying my Nine desires more and more through the years. Allowed myself to recognize those desires and do something to satisfy them. That’s nice, but that’s Nine. Even an healthy Five wouldn’t be as happy to give away their time like that or something idk

The happiest times in my life where those where I felt connected to reality, to my own life and to the people around me. I struggled to get that feeling for a long time, truth be told. And when I got it, I was afraid I could ruin it. That sounded basic but apparently it really is just Nine. I heard a podcast with a couple Fives in it and it was just mindblowing how differently they operate lmao..... I mean when I first heard it I still thought I was a Five but I was sad and hurt at the idea of being lost in space and disconnected THAT much from everyone and everything. That was Nine kicking in. Fives aren’t that scared of this - actually, they want this. Again, unconsciously - like they don’t even notice it. I did notice when I retreated myself in my cocoon, on the other hand.

I know you’re upset but please. Please. This was all so freeing for me to realize. It helps you so much. Please don’t dismiss it saying that idk I’m generalizing too much or that this can apply to Fives too if fixes and variants are taken into account or whatever. Please stop making excuses and saying “oh but these two types are so similar” they’re not, like at all-

SP/so vs SO/sx

Not sure how much this can be generalized since it's only my personal experience. When I was a pre-teen my best friend used to be a so/sx 6w7, while I am 9w1 sp/so. Sp dom vs Sp blind... some stuff went down and it’s fascinating to analyze such differences to me (I feel like I'm fascinated by sp blinds in general wtf).

She was the V immature of the pair, throwing herself in any possible weird experience she could have just for the sake of it. She would always cause so much drama it was legit concerning and I always was on the sidelines, not participating and sometimes suggesting her to stop, but did she listen to me? Never, and also, in some ways, I think I did in fact understand her desire to feel alive and feel stuff and do dumb stuff, possibly in that I am sx-blind and I won't fucking allow myself to do that, while she totally did. I guess, I don't usually pay any mind to my sx-blindness but the only time that it kind of felt like I was missing on something was when I would spend time with her? And also now that I'm actually studying the instictual variants I guess I'm starting to realize it (but also not really there's a shit ton of work to do). She would always act as if she was the protagonist of some weird 19th romantic novel but, make it dumber (we were 11-12 after all, how smart could we be?).

I deeply, deeply understand her need and wish to be like a novel protagonist. I do think of myself in that way quite often. But while she did it by acting and getting actively involved in stuff, I’ve always done the same by hyper-interpreting my simpler, more boring experiences (9 basic bitch here, feeling attached to something while being withdrawn and out of touch with your body results in amazing fantasy sky castles). She was never satisfied by this.

If she wanted intensity, she would create it by idk, doing some dumb stuff she would for sure later regret. While she went on to feel so alive, I would stay in the back overthinking my more boring life. An example would be that while she actually acted so that everyone around us hated her and shunned her, I would simply feel and think I was being shunned as well, but in practice I would never do something that would elicit a strong reaction out of others. I basically fantasized about it. As you can tell her being a Social Dominant I guess she got the sx juice she wanted through social stuff (her reputation, going against the social system (social 6s often do that)).

In so many ways, if I were to simplify it, she was a mixture of Dorian Gray and Heathcliff and I was Des Esseintes. She was an edgier version of Dorian Gray, wanting to experience everything but make it dark and painful and tormented (a là Heathcliff), not once holding herself back. Des Esseintes, on the other hand, would also feel like a misfit and a tormented soul but he did so by staying inside his house and hyper-interpreting his experiences to an insane degree, until he basically starts to hallucinate. He barely goes outside of his home and when he does everything seems weird, scary, magical in its own way, and while a bit creepy that’s also part of being sx-blind I think? You secretly want that way of feeling alive via the dark things in life (not sure if my fixes have a part in this as idk other 9s may not relate to this maybe) but also you want to go about it safely (sp) and by not exposing yourself (9), so it becomes like wearing a pair of glasses that adds a layer of poetry and beauty and suffering to an otherwise normal, boring and inane reality (again, 9 fantasy shit). But that’s about it. It’s a magical pair of glasses that at times I feel like I can remove and put on at will when I’m bored and I feel like I want more out of life. Outsourcing sx if you will w/o ever acting on this shit. I relate to Des Esseintes even though he was possibly a sp 4 but whatever I guess...

My old friend, being sp-blind, of course did not feel the same need for “safety” and had nothing to hold her back, really... the 6w7 sp blind brings a lot of energy and a way to never be able to fucking stand still, so yeah... it was so fascinating to see her act that differently from me, but also empathizing with her desire to get MORE out of life and dive into the darker aspects of it. I guess that’s why I sticked with her even when I thought she was being unreasonable and annoyingly melodramatic. Most people would shun her and don’t get her ways and while I can’t say that I got her, I would at least sympathise with her wish to experience more and be dramatic, even if I couldn’t quite elaborate it at the time and I superficially thought she was being too immature (this is so funny, we were fucking 10 and we were already doing instictual stuff with me acting like the adult one idk. Also w1 may play a part in this shit. Me being sp dom felt like I was supposed to check on her but also I didn't really do it because it was fun to tag along with her dumb stuff). But while she had the courage(?) to act on such a wish, I did not - I never had it, and instead compensated by having an hyperactive mental landscape...

There was a Wilde’s quote that went like, “the artist always represents what they themselves cannot live and experience”, or whatever, and I’ve always related to it way too deeply, lmao. I would represent, think, imagine, write the stories, and instead she would actively live them. Also Wilde was a so/sx so I guess that means something

While I may be bitter, because even as a sx-blind I at times feel....... like I want to live and get involved in stuff more? also I guess 9s have a way to dissociate with their life quite easily so that doesn't help (a sx-blind 7 would probably feel like they're getting involved more). Plus possibly having a 5fix makes it worse? it kind of sucks tbfh. Like it feels I've been dissociated since I was 4 yo and never got back to actual earth wtf. 95x sp/so may be the most fucking boring thing on earth + it may bring a neurotic need to keep your little bubble untouched by real life and finding security in that bubble, to the point that you're actually missing out. Idk. I may *do* stuff to make me feel like I'm going around with people more but it doesn't really affect me that deeply so yeah... fuck all of this. It's not even the same as being stuck in your comfort zone? I guess it is but again I may at times challenge myself in some small ways and have new experiences but it's like nothing really reaches me idk.

Again, I usually prefer to go about stuff safely (aka not disrupting my little bubble too much), and in this way, I’ve always had way less regrets than her - so in this, I’m actually fine with my way of playing it safe. I like letting myself wear that pair of glasses when I feel like it and call it a day. I’ve always been content with very little...

Though honestly I’ve not been hanging out with her in years (at least 8 years, wow) and while I do hear from her I can’t say I can get to see how much she’s changed, lol

It was weird, you’d expect that with such a melodramatic friend the break up would be at least as dramatic, instead it has been quite the opposite - we simply slowly stopped reaching out to each other once we had nothing much in common anymore, and something else going on with our lives, lmao...

Also I mistyped her as a 4w3 in the past but it's so funny I got that little about the enneagram and IVs and somehow got her IV right at first try wtf I guess she's just that obvious

Dismantling 9s stereotypes

Not dumb. We actually have access to the inner void more than others. "Holy crap do I exist?? Am I here??" bullshit

We smart by associating things together and viewing general trends (eg philosphical trends of thought). Can focus on specifics but thats boring man. Would rather study an entire philosophical trend than just a certain part of the theory of one philosopher. Big picture. The whole. How does this fit in the bigger context. Etc. (This is not mbti sensing. You can focus on the specifics of a certain theory and still be intuitive)

Weird capability to be instantly attuned to your own physiological and psychosomatic states but also easily able to just tune them out and ignore them (I notice my emotional reactions through this most of the time. Otherwise I dont think Id even notice them)

I actually like conflict it energizes me. But then like. Not too dramatic though. Not "we actually falling apart" conflict but more like "eh we have highs and lows" conflict. It makes the rp more real and united so I weirldy feel more UnityTM bs after/during a conflict

Maybe I just havent experienced actual heavy conflict? (Doubting your own experiences is also a nine thing. and a pain in the butt)

Going "same" all the time. Feeling kinda comforted that other people are going through the same shit as you do. Oh who doesnt you said? Well. 4s

Again, "I need to find myself again after social interactions" is just a nine thing. Why werent you yourself around others girl? You felt like the universe was pushing you into its orbit and wanted to make you part of the flux of reality? Yeah. Yeah thats the point

Idk how to tell you this but emotional masochism and self harm can be nine bullshit. I need to write an essay on how I spent so much time diving into my own inner pain on purpose and it wasnt fuxking related to 4 in any way. (Spoiler: it gave me a sense of self I didnt feel I had otherwise)

Taking showers, snuzzling in blankets, exercising, eating a bit too much/too little, not actually minding physical pain etc, all just to feel your body again bc it otherwise feels like its just evaporating all the time. Its like idk porous. Im air.

Thinking youre a 5 or a 4 bc your "actual self" its whats "inside" and felt when you "close off", while what you show to people its just "not you" or "for convenience"

I have opinions, likes and dislikes, and can assert myself. Except when its actually crucially important and I may lose a relationship w someone and feel strong emotions

Being like "Oh I care so much about you" a second before and then "I dont feel anything" as soon as the person is actually gone forever

Basically its all or nothing. Either youre part of me and my universe or youre not. Cant actually stand the separation and chaotic bit - your emotions naturally bring you to a static and still place, whether it is w x person or not

Wondering if what youre feeling is real or not. Whatever that means

Disliking strong emotions and reactions

Feeling said emotions and reactions but then they just slip away and you feel empty like nothing ever happened. Did x actually impacted me in a meaningful way? I have no way of knowing

I am sea. My reactions are just a wave after another. They may be strong now, but they wont afterwards.

Edit: adopting the bad guy aesthetics to regain a sense of power you dont feel you have most of the time. Basically being petty/bratty in dumb ways that wont actually affect your relationships

The thing about your enneagram type is that it is by definition unconscious. You dont fucking notice it and if you think you do, youre thinking about the idea you have of yourself. It comes out when you think youre "not being yourself". It comes out in what you take for granted. It comes out in the "dont everyone do that?". It comes out in the ways you unconsciously behave, not in what you think of yourself in the private of your room.

Like Im legit thinking about how an actual type 5 would look like and its just. Its probably a way to unconsciously restrain yourself in every way, especially in the expression of emotions. Instead, I actually end up expressing them in some ways to relate to people, albeit kind of superficially (again, I do so unconsciously and instinctively, like I couldnt get myself not to even if I tried?). But if the focus of this person is to UNCONSCIOUSLY not spend even a tidbit of energy to anything... they wouldnt see the point of doing so, thats what im guessing. And it actually sounds at the very least depressing lmao. Not sure if im driving my point home but whatever

Basically what I thought was soc blind is actually enneagram hexad types o.o

enneagram types as things my friends have said (7)

“Bro, the other day in class there was an open seat right next to me and this guy just walked right past! like am i not fun to talk to? do i not seem like i am just a lot of fun to have a conversation with? oh my god, have i lost my fun?”

Can I be a 5 with a 9fix and be known to some to have kind of a short temper

Guys why did I realized I suffered from detached snobbish bitch disease at 15 and my whole family realized it since the beginning, like I didn't even notice it

I know people hate when someone starts an argument with this sentence but like

Am I the only one who only gets the anxiety from their enneagram fixes and not so much their benefits (expect for the core ofc)

I may also be quite young but like I be going around saying I'm a 538 but the truth is I'm your anxious 5 wrecking who is also terrified of being a utter failure and disappointment (3) but is also angry at themselves for this because it means they're being controlled by society and sometimes gets butthurt because "prrt I know you bad guy stay away from me" (8) like wth

No 3 flashy-extraverted-socially cool attitude, no 8 gets-things-done-super assertive-rough attitude? I mean I guess they can be apparent certain times but I'm mostly your typical, asocial, awkward 5 lmfao