#dom drop
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DOM DROP
Dom drop is an emotional and physical low a Dom may feel after a BDSM scene. And can bring feelings such as depression, anxiety, or guilt.
Dom drop can come moments to days after a scene. And can last up to weeks at a time if not properly taken care of. Some people experience Dom drop often and some have never experienced it even after years of play.
Dom drop can be caused by:
- Feeling exhausted from all of the physical and/or mental work you put into a scene.
- The drop of adrenaline and dopamine after a scene.
- Disappointment if the scene didn’t go as you’d hoped.
- Doing something at your Submissive's request that conflicts with your morals.
The best way to help with Dom drop is openly communicative with your Sub and make sure that your limits are being addressed and aftercare needs being met.
#bd/sm community#bd/sm kink#mlm ns/fw#mlm nsft#mlnb nsft#ns/fw#ns/fw blog#ns/fw post#queer nsft#bd/sm education#dom drop
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Chapter 7
Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6
Steve’s morning was full of light.
Eddie was brighter than the sunbeams shining through the curtains in his bedroom, and Steve was never happier to be blinded by light.
Steve wasn’t woken by his alarm. Instead, he was woken by soft kisses against his neck and jaw, breathy whispers he couldn’t quite understand making him shiver under the sheets.
It was more than Steve had ever had, more than he ever expected, and more than he thought he deserved. But he smiled into it. He let himself bask in Eddie’s light.
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Eddie had a full day of clients, and Steve ended up in more parent conferences than he planned as new schedules for the next semester got released.
He barely even had a lunch break, and most of it was spent texting Robin about their plans after work.
He didn’t purposely avoid looking at the text from Eddie sitting there unread, but he knew if he opened it, he would yearn to be back with him too much.
The space would be good for him to clear his head a little, separate himself from the intensity of his emotions that Eddie brought on. Take himself out of the shock of feeling so much at once and find the level headedness he was used to having.
He tried not to think about how Eddie didn’t give him any rules before he left this morning.
------------------------------------
Steve was not having a good afternoon.
His last conference of the day left his head spinning. The principal had to sit in towards the end as the parents became more irate at the fact that their son was failing almost every class and Steve couldn’t be bribed to change his grades in the system.
This was the worst part of the job.
Everything was loud.
He didn’t know how to make it quiet.
He left work with a ringing in his ear and a tension in his neck and shoulders that hadn’t been present for days and wondering how he’d be able to face the conversation ahead of him.
------------------------------------
The door opened and Steve nearly fell off the couch.
He must have fallen asleep when he decided to rest for a few minutes when he got home.
“You good?” Robin asked from above him. She had an amused smirk on her face, but he could see the concern in her eyes.
“Yep. Just didn’t realize it was time for you to be home.”
Steve stood up and shook his arms out to wake himself up, something he’d done since he was young to get the blood pumping.
“I’m guessing you haven’t seen my text about dinner, then?”
“No, why?”
Steve reached into his pocket for his phone as Robin sat down.
“Pizza place had a fire, so we need a backup. Any ideas?”
Steve felt his heart stop when he saw a missed call from Eddie. Shit, he really was out of it.
“Uh. I’m good with anything.”
He could feel Robin staring at him, but he was still trying to get all synapses firing in his brain and couldn’t quite look away from his phone.
“So you’d be good with tofu and sushi?”
Steve’s head snapped up, lip curling in disgust.
“What? Since when would I be okay with that? I hate tofu and sushi.”
“Just checking to see if you were actually paying attention or if you’d been body snatched.”
Steve rolled his eyes, but put his phone back in his pocket for the moment. Tonight was about Robin, and Eddie could wait.
“Burgers?” Steve suggested, knowing Robin was always down for burgers.
“Burgers sound good. My usual please?”
“Got it.”
Robin started to walk towards the bathroom, but turned before she made it to the door.
“Text Eddie that you’re okay. He was worried.”
Steve felt his mouth open in shock.
“He texted you?”
“He called me. Said he hadn’t heard from you at lunch and he was supposed to.”
Oh, so the rule was still there.
“Oh. Okay.”
Robin shook her head and mumbled to herself as she walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. It sounded an awful lot like “idiots, both idiots” but Steve wasn’t sure.
He called in their order for burgers first, knowing that the dinner rush, even on a Tuesday, would have at least an hour wait for delivery.
He pulled up his texts and saw two from Eddie: the one from this morning he didn’t have time to respond to and one from right after he tried calling.
Don’t forget to be a good boy and text me at lunch, sunshine.
Please let me know you’re doing okay, Stevie. Just a quick text is fine. I know you’re gonna be with Robin tonight, but I wanna make sure you haven’t dropped. Please.
Shit. Dammit.
He immediately started typing a response, worried that Eddie was dropping. Could he drop? Surely he would have told Steve if that was a possibility. Right?
I’m okay. I’m sorry. It’s been a busy day and I didn’t know you wanted me to stick to the rules still. Are you okay?
His leg was bouncing as he waited for Eddie to reply, getting faster when he saw the typing bubbles appear.
I’m better now. We can talk later when you’re done hanging out with Robin, okay?
Are you mad?
No, was just worried. Have fun with Robin.
It felt like a dismissal, and he knew that Eddie didn’t mean it unkindly, but his head started to spin with the idea that maybe that was the final straw for him.
Before he could spiral, Robin came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her head and her comfiest pajamas on. She took one look at him and sighed.
“Let’s talk while we wait for food.”
They both sat on the couch, Robin’s feet finding their way into Steve’s lap, his hands resting on her ankles.
“So. Let me start by saying sorry again. I’m not sorry for being worried, but I am sorry for how I spoke to you. I should have waited to talk in person and I shouldn’t have made you feel like you don’t know how to handle yourself or that you’re a bother.”
Oh God, her voice was shaking. Was she gonna cry? She never cried.
“Robs, it’s okay. I get it. I’m glad I have you to worry about me, okay?” He squeezed her ankle and she sniffled. “I wish it didn’t happen that way, but it does show we have to talk about this. I think I need to unpack a bit with you actually.”
“You, Steve Harrington, need to unpack your feelings?” She reached out to check his temperature. “Are you sure you haven’t been body snatched?”
“I’m sure. There’s just a lot to catch you up on.”
He spent the next 30 minutes breaking down everything that happened from the moment he walked into Eddie’s tattoo shop on Saturday to the text exchange that happened right before Robin came out of the shower.
“Well, you’ve certainly found your way into something interesting.”
Steve groaned and threw his head back to rest against the back of the couch.
“It doesn’t make any fucking sense what I’m about to say and I need you to just let me say it out loud so I can recognize how fucking stupid it is.”
“Okay.”
“I think I love him.”
Robin didn’t react, but Steve knew she wanted to. She was being the best friend ever and letting him sit with it out in the open like that on his own first.
“I’m waiting for my brain to say that I didn’t mean that.”
“Okay.”
They both sat in silence for a minute, two.
“Fuck, I love him.”
“Steve, this is. I mean I’m not a professional at these types of relationships, but could it just be the whole subspace thing?”
“I mean, yeah? I guess? But it just doesn’t feel that way. The way he makes me feel all the time, not just when he’s making me float, it’s better than anyone’s ever made me feel. I can’t explain it and I’m gonna sound crazy if I try.”
“Try anyways.”
Steve sighed. Robin wouldn’t end this conversation without understanding him, so he had no choice.
“It’s just. I feel safe. Even before the tattoo started, I felt safe. Something about the way he just is. He calls me sunshine, but he’s the one burning bright. It’s like we don’t have to know everything about each other to know each other. God, this sounds stupid.” He covered his face with his hands and was shocked to find that he was crying. “It’s more than just wanting to be with him, it’s like I know I can be myself, my best self, if he’s around. Like I can let go of everything I’ve spent most of my life trying to be and just. Be.”
Robin’s eyes were wide as she took in Steve’s demeanor. He was serious, and he was crying.
“Listen to me, Steve.” Steve looked back at her as he wiped the tears from his eyes. “How you feel is how you feel. Do I think it’s a little crazy? Yeah. But I’ve never seen you like this, and you’ve had plenty of opportunities to. You weren’t even like this with Nancy and you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her.”
“I don’t think I loved Nancy like this.”
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah. Holy shit.”
They both sat in silence again, both taking in what was said, both realizing that Steve was in deep.
“Alright! Here’s what we do!”
Robin was cut off by her phone ringing, which was odd.
There was a knock at the door at the same time.
“I’ll get the door, you get your phone.”
Steve got up to grab their food as Robin answered her phone.
He was so focused on making sure the delivery person got a good tip, he didn’t hear what Robin was saying.
“Robs! Hurry before it gets cold!” Steve yelled as if she’d left the room, but she was sitting on the couch whispering into the phone.
“Robs? Everything okay?” He asked as he walked back over to the couch to make sure she was okay.
“Okay, I’ll tell him. I will! I’ll text you. Okay. Bye.”
When Robin hung up, Steve had a sinking feeling in his stomach that he couldn’t explain. Something was wrong.
“Sit.”
Steve sat.
“Look at me.”
Steve looked at her.
“This is not your fault, you understand?”
“Uh. Okay.”
“I need you to say it.”
“It’s not my fault.” Steve breathed in. “What’s not my fault?”
“That was Chrissy. You know Eddie’s friend? She’s the Chrissy I work with. Small world or whatever.” Robin was gonna start rambling. Oh god. “So she’s at Eddie’s. Apparently he had to reschedule his last client tonight and when she showed up at his house, he was a mess. Mid-panic attack and didn’t even know she came in the house. She got him to calm down enough to drink some tea on the couch, but all he’s said is he fucked up with you. Any clue what he’s talking about?”
Steve felt his stomach turn. Eddie fucked up? What could he have done?
“I don’t know. Everything was fine. He seemed a little off during the texts, but he said we’d talk later.”
“Off how?”
“I dunno! Just really formal and short? Not like he usually is.”
“Chrissy thinks he’s going through a dom drop.”
Fuck. That’s what Steve feared, but he didn’t know for sure if it was even possible.
He should’ve called him when he seemed off. No, he should’ve texted him at lunch. He could’ve taken ten seconds to send a quick message.
But he didn’t think about the rule. The one rule Eddie had given. Maybe they hadn’t discussed it being a standing rule, but Steve should’ve assumed he’d like a check in after what they did last night.
“Robs, I…”
“You gotta go. It’s okay. I’m pretty tired anyways. But Steve?”
“Hm?”
“You’re allowed to love him. Things may end badly, or you may be in deeper than he is, or there may come a point where this wears off for you. But for now, if you love him, then love him with all you’ve got.”
Steve nodded, giving her a quick hug before he threw his shoes on and left.
Eddie needed him and he was going to love him through it.
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When he arrived at Eddie’s house, he saw that all except one light was off, and the door was unlocked.
Robin must’ve called Chrissy to let her know he was coming.
When he walked inside, the house felt cold.
This wasn’t the same house that made him feel warm, content, happy.
He saw Chrissy first, sitting on the couch next to a blanket burrito which could only contain Eddie.
Whatever nerves he’d been feeling on the drive over disappeared when he heard what Chrissy was saying.
“He’s on his way and you’ll see that he’s okay. Robin said he just had a really busy day, remember?”
“But he didn’t follow the rule.”
“Babes, he probably didn’t think he had to. You said he’s new at this, right? If you didn’t remind him, then he probably just was busy.”
“I was.”
Steve spoke and the air changed. It didn’t stop being cold, but there was a new pressure to it, and he knew that Eddie heard him.
“Thank god,” Chrissy said as she stood up. “I’m clocking out. This guy needs you. You know what to do?”
“Um. I googled. I think I can handle it.”
“Call if you need me. I’ve gotten him through one before so I know what works if you can’t handle it,” she gave him a tired smile. “Chrissy, by the way.”
“Steve.”
“Eddie, Steve’s got you now, okay? But call if you need me.”
“Okay.”
His voice was raspy, not at all the usual strong, upbeat tone he had.
As Chrissy left the house, Steve walked over to the couch. Eddie had removed the blanket from around him, but was still curled in on himself in a way Steve didn’t think was possible. Not for Eddie.
“Eds? Can I sit with you?”
Eddie nodded, but otherwise didn’t move. Steve sat where Chrissy previously was, quickly resting his hand on Eddie’s back.
Eddie seemed to relax a bit at the touch, a small sigh released from his mouth.
“Wanna tell me what’s going on in your head, babe?”
Eddie shook his head.
“That’s okay. I can just keep you company. Do you need anything?”
Eddie shook his head again.
“Do you want to cuddle?”
Eddie nodded, but seemed to hesitate for a moment.
“What is it?”
This was hard. He didn’t know how Eddie handled him when he was pretty much nonverbal.
“Can you lay in my lap?”
How would anyone say no to that?
“I’d love to.”
Eddie slowly unfurled from the nearly perfect spiral he’d been curled into, resting his feet on the floor and stretching his back out. He groaned when something popped, but it seemed to help him relax a little more.
Steve slowly lay down across the couch, placing his head in Eddie’s lap so he was looking up at his face.
Eddie’s hand found his cheek like a magnet, rubbing his thumb along his jaw while he looked down at him like he was a miracle.
No one had ever looked at Steve like that.
It was a lot to cope with.
He stayed still, letting Eddie touch and look, some part of him knowing that he needed this and that it would help. Eddie’s hand glided over his exposed skin for long minutes, tracing along his freckles on his neck and collarbone, his arms, even the tattoo he inked into his skin only a few days ago.
So much has changed since then.
Eddie let out a small whine, and Steve reached one hand out to hold his, squeezing as a reminder that he was here and he wasn’t going anywhere.
“Right here, Eds. You with me?”
“Yeah.”
“What do you need, love?”
“Shirt off. Skin.”
Steve could do that. He could do whatever Eddie needed.
He started to sit up to take his shirt off when he felt a hand on his chest and Eddie whined again, looking down at Steve with hurt on his face.
“I have to move a little to take off my shirt. It’s only for a few seconds.”
“Please.”
He wasn’t sure what he was asking for, but Steve slowly sat up and turned to straddle Eddie’s lap. Eddie seemed okay with this movement, so Steve continued by removing his shirt quickly.
Eddie’s hands were on his bare hips before he even had the shirt off of his head. He couldn’t help the smile he gave when he felt Eddie relax a bit more into the couch.
He was taking care of Eddie and getting him through this one step at a time with barely any idea what he was doing. It felt good to know what he needed. Is this how Eddie felt with him all the time?
“Closer.”
Steve didn’t need to be told twice; He leaned in so he could let his face fall against Eddie’s neck, breathing in his cologne and weed scent.
He felt Eddie shakily breathe him in too, his nose resting in his hair by his temple.
“Smells good.”
Steve smiled against his skin.
“Took a shower when I got home from work. The shampoo is tropical breeze I think.”
Eddie didn’t answer, just took another breath, though this was stronger, more sure.
They stayed like that for a while, Steve slowly tracing fingers along Eddie’s chest and neck, letting him know he was physically here for whatever he needed.
Eventually, Eddie nudged Steve gently, making him remove his head from his body and pull away. He looked at Eddie, really looked at him, and saw some of the sunshine he was used to coming back behind his eyes.
“There you are.”
“Here I am.”
Steve cupped his cheek and leaned in to place a soft kiss on his lips, not wanting to make it anything more than a comforting peck.
Eddie let him, but his grip on Steve’s waist tightened momentarily like he was fighting the urge to kiss harder, longer, more.
“Sorry, sweetheart. I told Chrissy not to call. I didn’t even know she knew Robin.”
Eddie looked so apologetic, but he had nothing to apologize for. If his drop was anything like Steve’s, he had no control over what happened and Steve didn’t want him to feel like that all night.
“What happened, Eds? Was it just me not texting?”
Eddie looked nervous.
Oh no. This is it, he’s gonna break it off before it even gets started.
“That played a part in it, and not answering the call. But it was also just pushing myself at work more than I usually do in a day after what we did last night. After everything since Saturday, really. And then when the realization hit that I didn’t talk to you about the rule this morning, I felt like a bad dom. Just a mix of things.”
Steve let that sink in. That while it wasn’t all his fault, he was what started the negativity.
He’d been used to doing that for most of his life, bringing people down with him instead of leaving them be. He didn’t want that for Eddie. Eddie would be smart to end things with him.
But that’s not where this was going, Steve could tell from his next words.
“We have something I’ve never had before. I’m not used to such intense feelings over such a small scene or for anyone at all.” Eddie cupped Steve’s face between his hands, placing a kiss to his forehead before continuing. “What we’re doing here is more than anything I’ve done before and I think we haven’t had enough communication about what we’re doing. Can we talk about that?”
Steve nodded, mesmerized by the way Eddie bounced back so quickly, by the way he was looking at Steve like he loved him. He couldn’t possibly, but it seemed like he did.
“I know this is fast and unconventional. This isn’t how I usually do things and I don’t think it’s how you do things either. But maybe that’s a good thing. I’ve never wanted someone the way I want you. All the time. In every way.” Eddie had tears in his eyes. “It’s fucking terrifying. Especially after today and knowing that such a small thing made me drop. I’ve only dropped a couple of times and those were because of really intense scenes that I wasn’t properly prepared for. But I guess I’m never really prepared for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Every time I think I can handle my feelings for you, you do or say something that has me falling head over heels and I don’t know what to do about it, sunshine.”
Steve could feel the heat rising on his face, the blush on his cheeks deepening to an almost painful level. Eddie really cared for him.
“What do we do to stop you from dropping?”
“First, we have to set clear rules and boundaries for each scene and for our relationship.”
“Relationship?”
Eddie smirked.
“I just confessed that I have intense feelings for you, did you think I wasn’t wanting to make you mine?”
If Steve could breathe, he’s sure he would choke on the air.
“You want me to be yours?”
“I’d love for you to be mine and for me to be yours.”
“We haven’t even had a date yet.”
“Is that necessary when I’ve pressed a needle into your skin to make something permanent?”
“I guess not. But what if you don’t like me outside of…this?”
“That’s not possible, sunshine.”
“Not many people like me.”
“Not many people like me either.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
Eddie was a ball of sunshine, how could anyone not be in love with him when they talked to him?
“Well, I only have a couple good friends, Chrissy being one of them. My clients come to me because I’m good at what I do, but not because of anything else. I was the opposite of popular in school. My best friend until I was like, 13, was my Uncle Wayne.”
“But you’re so…nice.”
Eddie laughed. “Nice isn’t everything.”
“It is to me.”
Eddie poked at Steve’s bottom lip, which had somehow jutted out a bit during their talk.
“No need to be upset, sunshine. I’m doing just fine with what I’ve got, okay? Even better now that you’re around.”
“But I’m…me.”
“And you’re perfect to me.”
Steve’s brows furrowed, but Eddie traced along the line between them until it smoothed out.
“I feel the same about you, you know. Like you’re my sun, stars, my entire galaxy, and it doesn’t make any fucking sense because I didn’t even feel this way about the person I thought I wanted to marry! You hear how ridiculous that sounds? It’s been three days!”
Eddie pulled him in for another soft kiss, effectively calming him down again.
“I’m just worried that I’m so invested in whatever this is that I’m not seeing how badly it can end. I don’t want it to end. I want to be yours and I want you to be mine and I want to feel like this with you forever.”
“Then let’s do that.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Why not?”
“Because everything good ends! People don’t like me when I’m grumpy, which is always, and they leave! I couldn’t even convince Nancy to stay and she’s like me.”
Eddie looked like Steve had just punched him in the gut, his eyes wider and sadder than ever.
“Sweetheart, sometimes people just aren’t right for each other. But this feels right. You feel right.”
Steve let out a sob at his words. He’d been holding back for a while, and the concern that had built up from the moment Robin told him what was going on seemed to crash down on him.
Eddie was here, telling him how much he cared, telling him that he wants more. That he wants Steve. As he is.
No one had ever wanted Steve for him.
But Eddie didn’t know enough about his history of parents with more money than they knew what to do with, or his friends who pressured him into drinking every weekend until he couldn’t even recognize them, or the times he turned to getting high on whatever Tommy was on during high school just to feel something other than loneliness. He didn’t know that the times between Tommy and Robin, he tried to hide away from everyone, didn’t even bother leaving his apartment other than to go to classes he was almost failing for a solid year. He didn’t know that Steve nearly lost his chance at getting his degree when Nancy broke his heart because he couldn’t leave his bed.
He doesn’t know that Robin is pretty much the only reason he’s even here.
But he wants him. He may not when he knows all of that, but for now, he wants him. Still, he had to ask to be sure, to know he wasn’t just getting his hopes up for nothing.
“You want me?”
“I want you more than anything.”
“Then you have me.”
The way Eddie kissed him shattered his world and put it back together, leaving no question that he’d meant the words he said.
Hands were everywhere, soft until they weren’t, leaving bruises as remnants of their emotions.
Both of them gasped for air. Both of them dove right back in like they couldn’t bear to separate their lips for more than a few seconds.
If this was what it was like being Eddie’s, Steve never wanted to belong to anyone else.
Chapter 8
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#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#grumpy sunshine trope#tattoo artist eddie munson#guidance counselor steve harrington#soft dom eddie munson#sub steve harrington#ao3fic#chapter 7#robin buckley#platonic stobin#dom drop#top drop#please let me know if you're worried about that tag and i will be happy to send an edited version of the chapter for you#i love you all
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What's a Sub-drop/Dom-drop?
Sub-drop/Dom-drop is a variety of symptoms (usually an emotional and/or physical low) some feel, that lasts anywhere from a few hours to a few days, caused by the endorphin high an extreme session gives you, slowly wearing off.
These drops can include things like depressive episodes, being overly sensitive, constant tiredness, feeling ill, etc. This is why so many people care a lot about aftercare, because a simple check in with your partner(s) can help combat these drops and make them not last as long.
#❥ educational post#kink education#sex safety#sub drop#dom drop#cw kink#bd/sm community#bd/sm education
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a random question for you, Gideon: do you have any tips for dealing with subdrop? what are your favourite ways to take care of your sub or be taken care of when you sub?
Okay so I would say for one it can definitely vary, somenpeople will want specific comforts so my first piece of advice us to know beforehand if they have specific things they want/need and to express your own wants/needs for subdrop. (I find many of these can helpin a domdrop too! Subs can and should use this advice to help their doms as well if it can be applied)
With that:
I always start with water. A hydrated brain is always better at regulating. Snacks can also be good for the same reason. (Chocolate is one I used to get suggested a lot when I did reaserch on the subject, due to it's encouragement of serotonin in the brain. I find any soft of sweet tends to make somon cheer up a bit though, since most people like them. Fruit is also a really good one, because it'ssimple to eat and also doubles as more hydration.)
Soft textures (blankets, pillows plushies), or a piece of comfort clothing. Being in a drop can be a vaunrable of a state as being in the initial subspace, and I often like to be covered up and held. I usually do the same for my partners, because being close under a blanket can help be physically grounding.
Comforting words. Subdrops can feel isolating even with someone there, and they can make you feel like you have done something wrong. Let your partner know that it's okay, and even though they don't feel the best right now, they aren't alone and they haven't done anything wrong. Let them know that they're safe with you and you've got them for as long as they need. The space to know that you can still be taken care of is good.
Talk about it. Was it caused by something? If not that's okay, My sub drops are usually not prompted by anything specific, but knowing can help you avoid making it worse if there was a cause. It also means you might have something to discuss later to avoid this from happening from the same cause.
Simple activity. Get them up to clean up, take the,with you to set up a space to cuddle. Some movement of the body will be good for them. Doesn't have to be fancy. I like to follow my partner to get snacks if I'm not dizzy, and keep them in sight. And it does help more then laying there sad and possibly alone. Even for a few seconds when I'm in a drop can feel much longer.
I find that things I use when I'm sad can help with subdrops as well. Listening to music that helps, watching something with my partner, or playing a simple game that doesn't take a lot of brainpower. It can be nice to just spend time with my dom and know that there's no pressure to return to a specific state of mind.
I'm disabled and sometimes subdrops flare my pain. Check in for physical responses to the mental state especially if you're disabled. Pain meds to lessen the physical shit can make it a bit easier to focus on coping and calming dowm from the mental things.
Other suggestions I've seen are baths (I hate baths for sensory issues and so do my partners so not our thing, but the warmth of a good bath can't be beat if you like them), Making and having some tea, Burning candles and doing grounding exercises, Or prayers (If you practice that way together/are willing to do it with them if it would make them feel better).
And through any of these or other things you might try, take your time. It's not a rush to feel better. You're allowed to work through the subdrop like any other emotion, which might not be instant.
[This is in no way a fully fleshed out list or a one size fits all, so do your reaserch and take note of what does and doesn't seem to help you/your sub/your dom.]
#nsft safety#sub drop#dom drop#nsft#lesbian nsft#nblw nsft#wlw nsft#sapphic nsft#queer nsft#anonymous#talking#mine
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Personally, as a dom, I've never experienced what I would consider a full-blown drop. I've had some close calls, but my (unfortunately) extensive experience with depression and other mental health problems has enabled me to be on top of knowing the symptoms of drop. I recognize them, and I can usually take care of myself if I don't still have access to the partner that I had a scene with.
So, if you're looking for something where I incorporate lots and lots of own experience into a fictional scenario in the same way that I did with this post concerning what it feels like to get hard (which, if I'm assuming correctly, was something you would've been interested in based on your wording here, lol) that isn't what this is.
BUT
I certainly have ideas for Chris experiencing it, and I couldn't get them out of my head. Even if I'm not currently taking writing prompts
Chris doesn't even notice there's anything going on with him until Sebastian calls him. Okay, well, truthfully, he doesn't let himself notice that's there's anything going on until Seb goes full decective on him. Then, his boyfriend pulls the emotions up in a big tangled ball from deep in his chest, somewhere behind his lungs and heart, through his mouth. Bringing them to his attention, better than letting them fester, but still painful.
"Chris?" Sebastian speaks first, voice just a touch tinny over the phone.
"Hey, babe," Chris mumbles. He's tired. It's the middle of the day in Massachusetts. He's on vacation. He didn't stay up last night. He has no idea why he's tired or why his back hurts.
"Hi!" Seb shakes him from his thoughts.
"...did you call for somethin'?" Chris replies, licking his lips, when Sebastian says nothing else, "it's, what, 12 there? Shouldn't you be in bed? What time is call in the mornin'?"
"Don't worry about it," Sebastian tells him, his voice smooth and easy, "I called 'cause I miss you."
Chris wants to huff and roll his eyes, but it won't come out. Instead, he weakly offers, "it's been three days?" Has it been three? Already?
"What, I'm not allowed to miss you yet?" Sebastian teases lightly.
Chris shrugs, forgetting that Sebastian can't see him. Dodger plops his head into his lap with a doggy sigh. It feels like he misses Sebastian, too.
"Besides," Sebastian's voice is softer now, "you've barely texted."
A big, fat question mark hangs over his head suddenly, "huh?"
"You haven't texted me. I mean, you have. You text back, but I've been texting you first."
"Oh?" Chris hasn't really... is he doing that? He hasn't meant to!
"Mmm-hmm, I'm missing all my Dodger-and-boyfriend selfies. Usually, I get at least one every day. Or if it's not both of my boys, it's just Dodger, or a tree or flower or the sky or your breakfast or something."
"Oh," Chris feels bad. There's a knot in his chest, and it's tightening. Has he been ignoring him? He's been... what has he been doing? He's been scrolling. He kept sitting down to read and not being able to focus. So, he gets his phone out instead and... disappears into it until Dodger noses him for walks or dinner or it's time to sleep, and he lays down and thinks about Sebastian and gets stuck in anxiety spirals. Not because of Seb but. Adjacent?
"Then when you do text back, I dunno," Chris can practically hear him scratching his head, "you respond to what I'm saying, but it's not... not the same," Sebastian finishes lamely.
"I'm sorry, baby," Chris says with his whole chest. He is. There's guilt knawing at him now. He's been absent. He doesn't--didn't mean to.
"It's okay, I just want to know what's up. Are you okay?"
Chris swallows.
Is he okay?
He thought, he doesn't know, but he thought he was having a good old anxiety spiral, missing Sebastian after his recent departure, and that ache for his boyfriend had just dug up some older wounds about not being enough. And thinking about not being enough came with friends. Unwanted friends. Friends that add to not being enough by telling him, actually, he's kind of disgusting. How can he control Sebastian like he does? If he loves him, how can he do such things to him? He's too extreme, isn't he? He's too controlling, isn't he? Is he even a good man at all? Why is he like that? Why does he want the things he wants? He shouldn't want them. Does Sebastian like it? Does Sebastian even like being dominated? Is he just taking advantage?
"Chris, honey?" Sebastian's voice sounds like honey. Sweet and smooth.
"Yeah?" Chris rasps, voice hoarse despite how Seb has been doing the bulk of the talking.
"Are you okay?"
"I--" Chris has a false start. He doesn't know what to say, or how to end that thought.
Now he's thinking about the last time he saw Sebastian. Before he left for the airport. They couldn't help themselves, transitioning from innocent to R-rated goodbyes. However, Chris did put his foot down, gently, over one thing; they couldn't have too intense of a scene when they were already running the risk of making Seb miss his flight. Chris would feel awful if they didn't have enough time for at least a little aftercare. If he floated too high, scene-ing too hard, Chris didn't want him dropping on the plane ride. The moment they had was satisfying regardless, with Sebastian on his knees and--
Chris misses that.
He misses Sebastian.
He misses the clarity of being with Sebastian. Touching him. Feeling him. Breathing him in.
So. He's thinking of what happened right before he left. He's thinking about what it's like to share a scene with Sebastian, not a scene on a film set, (although any of those scenes are magic), too. Because it's Sebastian. He's a fucking world class actor and a world class submissive. Of course, acting opposite of him is incredible. Of course, dominating him is incredible. Clarity and peace and focus. His submissive. Collaring. Protecting. Caring. Providing. Strength for his submissive but weakness, too.
An insatiable urge for him.
Only him.
Sebastian.
He would do anything for his submissive.
His partner.
"I don't know," Chris finally murmurs his answer.
Sebastian hums, "alright."
"Alright?" Is... is he supposed to add something here? He doesn't know what to say.
"Yeah, that's okay. It's alright. However you are, whatever it is, I want to know about it. Even if you don't know, y'know?"
A lightning strike of feeling strikes through Chris' chest. Raw and breaking. He tries to swallow around the weight piling up at the back of his throat, but all he ends up doing is choking for a moment.
Palms clammy, eventually, Chris manages, "h-how's the set?" he's clinging to his boyfriend's voice.
Sebastian rattles off one detail in answer, then another and another and another when Chris just keeps asking questions. Questions that pour over his lips and don't always make a ton of sense. That doesn't even matter. Why is he asking that? Chris can feel his battery, his energy, depleting--draining down to nothing, and yet his mouth is running a mile a minute. His thoughts are dragging on, slogging awkward and slow through mud, but his questions only keep coming. Paradoxical.
How are you? Are you okay? You're not too cold, right? It's winter there, isn't it? Are you having a good time with the cast? Do you like them? They better like you, do they even realize how fucking great you are? Are you eating? Are you sleeping? Do you miss me? Do you miss fu--
Chris is in the middle of his spiral, wanting, desperately to know everything that's going on in Sebastian's head when, suddenly, Sebastian says his name. He doesn't yell. Just the opposite, he whispers it.
Chris hears it.
Chris hears, more than feels, his mouth snap shut.
"Chris, baby, if you want to fly out and come see me, you can just say it."
"No, I don't. I," his voice comes out small, nothing like the rambling, louder, and louder mess he was just making, "I, I..." There's a heavy rock in his throat that he has to swallow dry and scraping, then, "y-yeah. Can I? You're not too busy?"
"'M never too busy," he reassures him.
Chris makes an aching sort of sound. Wounded. He can't help it. He knows that, and he's stupid for thinking otherwise, but he just... hearing it is good. He wants to curl up in those words, he wants to curl himself into a ball and bundle up in Sebastian's side and have him stroke his back. He's so tired. He misses him so much.
It's only been a few days.
At the same time that he misses him so fucking bad and he wants to be embraced and held, he missing him so fucking bad and he wants to take care of him like he should. But also like he shouldn't. Sebastian is grown. He can care for himself, and he doesn't need Chris to impose, bleeding his controlling longing all over him. Chris has always needed to be needed.
"That sound good, baby?" Sebastian asks once they have the details in place, when and where.
Chris nods. He forgets, again, that his boyfriend can't see him. Running in ceaseless circles. But Sebastian, magic, understands nevertheless.
Then, Seb signs off, letting him go with reassuring reminders to sleep and eat and take care of himself. He'll text him later, once they've both gotten some sleep.
In a few days time, the only way Chris can drag himself out of bed--one limb at a time, peeling the sheets back, and struggling his way into sweats, dropping Dodger off at his Ma's house--and make it to the airport is by knowing that all that stands between him and Sebastian is a few hours. He just has to make it through the plane ride.
A plane ride that he mostly sleeps through, despite having just crashed all night.
When Chris finally, finally fucking lands, he's moping through baggage claim and the, just, whole fucking airport with his baseball cap tugged low and his sunglasses, the largest, darkest pair he owns, hoping no one recognizes him and deeply wishing that he insisted on having Sebastian meet him at the airport. The passing thought entered his head but he was thinking less about himself and more about public appearances then. He's thinking more of himself now. And he wants Seb. So badly. He misses the way he smells and how he laughs and his eyes and--
He could've gotten a later flight that would've worked. Right? So Sebastian would be done filming for the day and he could've been here. Now?
Chris is vibrating out of his skin, fingers curled into fists around his backpack's straps and suitcase's handle. He can't wait to be alone with his boyfriend. He's closer to him now yet he just misses him more.
However, maybe it's a good thing that Seb isn't there. Because. The moment he is there... the paparazzi would have a field day.
The moment Seb lets himself into the rented apartment he's staying at for filming, the door isn't even closed! Yet, Chris is already collapsing into him.
His hands immediately land on his hips but they quickly wrap around his waist--wrapping him tightly, securely up in his arms while he buries his face in his neck. He's warm and he smells like coffee and sweat and Sebastian. Chris knows because he's pressing his nose as hard into the junction between his neck and shoulder and breathing him in as he can. He needs him. He's probably stretching Seb's shirt with how hard he's grabbing him, but he can't find it in himself to care--he'll pay costuming whatever they ask himself. His eyeslashes sweep shut. He already feels better. More centered. Steady. Like he's standing on two feet again, finding purchase on a softly carpeted floor of a familiar, warm home.
"Seb," Chris whispers into his skin like it's a prayer. He doesn't realize he's crying until he feels the wetness from his own eyes on Sebastian's body. He clings harder.
Sebastian squeezes him back, whispering too, "hi, baby."
They stand, hugging--cuddling, really, in the entryway for enough time that Chris' silent tears turn into sniffles and dry eyes. The feeling of Sebastian's heat against him echoes through his bones. He relishes in it. He doesn't stop clinging, though. He can't. All he can do is hold him and breath. Hold him and breathe as Seb heards him over toward the living room, bringing him with him and settling their bodies together on the couch, legs and fingers tangled, Chris on top of him, blanketing him.
Their hearts were racing, exilerated by the chance to be close enough to touch once more--in the same timezone--but now they slow. Steady and deep, chest to chest. Pumping blood and love through their veins, dissolving into their muscles. Lying lump and heavy, slumped into each other.
Chris tries hard to breathe out every drop of tension in his body under the soothing swirls of Sebastian's palms over his shoulders and back. It isn't hard to relax like this, when he's here, but the last dregs of emotion are especially deep seated, heavy, and hard to drain away. He shivers.
"Cold?" Sebastian asks.
Chris shakes his head. No.
Never.
Seb knows exactly what he wants. Seb knows what he needs. Seb knows what he feels somehow, even though Chris feels like a walking, unidentified swirl of anxiety. Seb knows what he wants to hear. Chris doesn't have to say a damn thing, Seb is just in his head, answering every silent question--rattling on in a soothing tone, I missed you so much. I miss everything that we do. I miss kissing you. I miss touching you. I miss sleeping next to you. I miss the things you do to me. I miss the things you make me feel. I love you.
They fall asleep.
Then, when they're awake again, late into the evening, and they've peeled themselves apart just enough to stand hip to hip, waiting for water to boil, mugs poised to happily hold their tea and honey, steaming away--Sebastian is back in his head, wandering around his skull, sight-seeing.
"Hey," Seb finds something that takes his fancy--that ugly insecurity that he's not what Sebastian wants or that he takes too much, he controls too much. He sees and he tugs him close.
Chris smiles.
"Remember when we first got together--"
"Yeah?" He already feels lighter.
"We were just barely hooking up and I told you, you could go harder on me. Then, when you didn't get what I meant," his grin is sly, his sparkling eyes shifty, "I explained it to you, and you..." he chuckles conspiratorially, "didn't spank me that hard at all."
"Hey!" Chris laughs softly.
"And I had to talk you up to doing anything more than hitting me on the ass sometimes." Sebastian kisses him on the cheek, "now look at you! Now you regularly blow my mind with how kinky we get."
Chris opens his mouth to say something, he's already chuckling, but Seb is there--
"You give me more than I knew how to ask for. I like it. I love it. And I have more than a lifetime's worth of evidence that you do, too."
Chris sighs, swaying into him, "I love you."
"Love you, too."
"Thanks for getting me outta my head, Seb."
"Anytime."
#asks#fandomfluffandfuck#chris evans#sebastian stan#evanstan#rpf#real person fanfiction#dom chris#sub seb#sub sebastian#subastian#dom drop
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Are you the devious domme that stirs up trouble with mommy ghostface? 🤭
I love the banter I’ve seen with you and her, you guys make the bratty side and the good girl side come out simultaneously and it’s so confusing 😂💜
Also, I teared up with you defending her in the comments. I am glad that she has your support and I’m sure the support of most of her anon army 💜 I was also worried about Dom Drop as soon as I saw those messages.
As a domme yourself, what kind of support do you think you would need if you were going through domdrop? 🥺
Also, may I claim this emoji 🎀? 🥺
Hi darling! Why yes, yes I am indeed 😉 It's one of my favorite pastime activities, stiring up devious trouble.
Oh, sweet, that's adorable! Worry not, you can just pick which side you want to go with. We can more than accommodate both 😉
Aah, yes. Mommy Ghostface @mommyghostface28 does such an incredible job with the safespace she's created, I will defend her to the end (if she lets me, of course). I'm positive that she has the majority of our support - she does so much for all of us, we adore her so wholly.
DomDrop is a very real thing, and sadly, it's not as talked about as subdrop! Dom/mes are people too, and despite the way some of us are/depict ourselves to be, we can be sensitive and mushy, too. I think for me personally, it's words of affirmation. Affirmation that I didn't fail in my role as a Domme. That I deserve my title/Honorific, and that at the end of the day, I'm still human. I'm not a robot that's just about Domming and being sadistic. I'm a person outside that role too who has things going on, y'know? Stuff like that. But yeah, a lot of Dom/mes are already so hard on themselves because we feel like we need to be perfect to make sure that we don't do any wrong/harm to our/the subs.
Thank you so much for your ask, darling! 🥰
And yes, of course you can have that emojie, my pretty ribbon anon 😘
🎀
#bd/sm blog#wlw bd/sm#bd/sm community#sapphic bd/sm#lesbian#dom drop#sapphic bd/sm domme#bd/sm domme#🎀#answered
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Be kind to yourself
As a person who drops quicker than the speed of sound sometimes. remember that you can do aftercare for yourself even if you just masturbated. There is some lovely yet intense shit on here remember to take care of yourself. Especially if you’re person is not awake to help you deserve it even if you aren’t doing a scene.
#feedee belly#feedee feeder#feedee encouragement#feeding kink#feedist#feed me#fatty#fat piggy#dark feederism#fat rolls#aftercare#sub drop#dom drop#switch drop
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I don’t know if this is also a big problem, but when I saw your post it reminded me of two close friends of mine (Fem dom and male dom), and how they had told me once after care for doms is rarely executed most of the time. I’ve been witness to the after effects of their drops and it pisses me off to see them like that and that they’re not being taken care of properly.
It's definitely a big problem. Doms are constantly mistreated and it truly sucks :(
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hot necromancer singles seeking dom daddies in your area by Mikkeneko
hot necromancer singles seeking dom daddies in your area
by Mikkeneko
M, 19k, wangxian
Summary: Wei Wuxian continued, stepping forward across the floor until he was right up in Lan Wangji's space. He grinned. "You're the great and righteous slayer of demons, and I'm just a weak little resentful cultivator who has to resort to crafty tricks. What can I hope to do to stop you?" he said in a singsong tone. "If you want me to repent for my crimes, why don't you make me?"
--
Without the aid of the Yiling Wei sect and its patron, the Yiling Patriarch, the Sunshot Alliance surely would have lost the war against the tyrant Wen Ruohan. Now the Yiling Patriarch is demanding repayment in the form of a tribute bride -- and he only wants Lan Wangji. What could a dark sorcerer possibly want out of a union with the strongest and most righteous spiritual cultivator? Whatever Lan Wangji was expecting out of this marriage, it wasn't this...
My comments: Well, I was not expecting what I got served along with that hilarious title. The story is a teensy bit sad, at first, in that it deals with a wwx who hates what he has had to become so much he feels that the only thing he deserves is hate and punishment. Lwj, once he figures that out (and realizes he's not just going to be ravished and/or murdered on the yiling patriarch's bed)... will have none of that, of course. So he scenes with wwx, just a little, as a treat, and then soothes his hurts and his fears and his self-doubt. It's quite lovely.
canon divergence, dom/sub, yiling patriarch wei wuxian, yiling wei sect, tribute bride lan wangji, warprize lan wangji, arranged marriage, dom lan wangji, sub wei wuxian, BDSM with feelings, wei wuxian is a brat, sub space, dom drop, golden core reveal, getting together, getting to know each other, wei wuxian needs a hug, aftercare, self-worth issues, tenderness, top lan wangji, bottom wei wuxian, POV alternating, happy ending, @mikkeneko
(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)
#Wangxian Fic Rec#The Untamed#wangxian#MDZS#yiling patriarch wei wuxian#canon divergence#dom/sub#yiling wei sect#warprize lan wangji#arranged marriage#dom lan wangji#sub wei wuxian#subspace#dom drop#golden core reveal#getting together#getting to know each other#wei wuxian needs a hug#aftercare#self-worth issues#top lan wangji#bottom wei wuxian#POV alternating#happy ending#hot necromancer singles seeking dom daddies in your area#Mikkeneko#medium fic 15k - 49k#mature
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That moment I need to force myself to sleep before I have a massive headpsace drop
#dom drop#sub drop#headspace drop#severe mental illness#mental ill health#woooo I need help#joking#somewhat..
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This is such an important topic that I feel isn’t talked about enough, and it deserves some awareness
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Will always frustrate me that i never see anyone talking about insecure doms or dom drop, it’s so important
A dom’s mental health is just as important as a subs
And that’s very hard for me to say as a dom but i think it’s important
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spilt milk (tears)
I am...making my way through this tricky bingo card for @codywankinkbingo! Today, I have posted "spilt milk (tears)" over on ao3 for the dom drop and lactation squares!
This fic is set in a post-war established relationship au. Some people lived, not everyone died, with Strange Stewjoni Biology to accommodate the lactation fill (past childbirth is mentioned). Yes, this is also VERY SPICY.
There's a lot of emotion here! But it has a good and hopeful ending. Hope you enjoy! (And you can find my card - which I fixed so it no longer looks like it's losing all resolution - under the cut):
#codywankinkbingo2022#codywan#dom drop#lactation#other tags on ao3#emotional hurt/comfort#established relationship#features baby dal#SPICY SPICY
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