#did I take my medication this morning?
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I had to finish a bottle of wine tonight so it wouldn't go bad.
My cat climbs into my lap as usual and I'm cuddling her when my mind says. "YOU SHOULDN'T BE DRUNK AROUND CHILDREN."
...
I do not believe my cat cares.
In fact, my extra cuddly somewhat hotter skin form is probably what she would chose as my default form.
Probably for the best she does not get a choice.
#did I take my medication this morning?#is it compatible with alochol?#What good deed did I commit to be rewarded with this cuddly cat?#This cuddly cat who just randomly broke into my parent's apartment and gave birth on their couch but I decided to keep cause cuddly#Her name is Shuri#She's the most cuddliest cat in the world#she will choose cuddles over her favourite food and scold me I'm out for longer than an hour#she's OOOOOOOLD#Which is sad#But she doesn't act old#the vet said she was aprox 2 years old#which is wrong#I've had her for like six years now#she is the love of my life#I've not harmed myself since I had her which might be because I moved away from home and not because cuddly cat but I do have cuddly cat#plus she loved my bf when he was my bf#and hated him once he was my ex#she hates NOBODY else in the world#just him#she's loyal#she also comes when called#she's perfect and pecious#I love her so much#She gives me esquimo kisses when I ask her for “besito”#and she also gives me headbumps#so precious#she sleeps under the covers with me#when my alarm goes of she comes running for morning cuddles#she is best kitty ever in the world#she's bilingual kitty for no reason whatsoever
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most fucked up thing at my new job is there's only zero calorie sweeteners at the coffee station in the break room. three different kinds of zero calorie sweetener but no regular sugar because the assumption is that literally everyone is on a diet?
#is this because its a job dominated by women in particular??? idk#that's so weird#like sorry i can taste the difference and i prefer naturally occurring sugar from nature how is that not even an option#drinking nasty bitter af coffee bc i am So Sleepy but i refuse to use artificial sweeteners#they Do taste different and they're not even good for you im not doing that lol#also they got mad at me for telling one of the parents that we took one of the kids temperature and it was 99 and he threw up a little#when his dad came to get him yesterday and all of the other teachers were nowhere to be found#they were like tou shouldnhave had colleen do that#ma'am colleen went home before that and so did you#i should have left already too but waited bc the ratio on the playground was bad#anyway i did NOT say he had a fever i said it was 99 and to talk to the teacher inside#but the dad didnt yalk to her clearly then went home and scared the mom that he had a fever and threw up so she texted my boss freaking out#i literally just said he threw up a little and we took his temperature and it was 99 and to talk to the other teacher#which was all true and there was no one else there to tell him#anyway#apparently the person who had my job before me was a wacko who scared the parents with fake medical information or something#but that is not my fault and nobody told me that or not to tell the parents anything medical until this morning#ugh#also my supervisor is kind of a weirdo#she wanted to show everyone ~cute~ pictures of animals she has killed while hunting???#and i said i didnt want to see#and she was like ~oh it's not dead yet in the picture~#like okay but its dead now???#she traps them first so its a cute little fox in a trap about to be killed 😭#like wtfff#i know trappong predators is a reality but why take pictures like ohhh so cute then kill it#THEN show everyone the cute pictures like yeah isnt he adorable i killed him btw <3#huh??????#she has a bobcat tail on her keychain too she was giving it to the teachers and kids to pet like ohhh its so soft <3
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This is loosely based off the end of Chapter 10 of @medics-secret-shipfic-folder’s fic Take Back the Fortress. It’s almost 12 am and I finished my finals this week so sorry it looks so bad, I’m very eepy
(He is in so much pain right now, I have eaten glitter before and it sucks man so I completely understand his pain😭😭)
This is the part:
#tf2#team fortress 2#tfc#team fortress classic#take back the fortress#it’s such a good fic#I highly suggest it#cheavy x cmedic#tfc heavy x tfc medic#tfc heavy#tfc medic#Cmedic#Cheavy#I did this on my phone and I want to pass out#I will probably redraw this in the morning
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i thought earlier this year after havin my hobonichi weeks for a couple months that for next year i should try journaling bc while i am rly enjoying my planner and finding it useful, i did want more space to write down important things that happened that day and maybe my thoughts on w/e
since then though (and after making a jetpens list of stuff i want for it) (lol) i keep stressing out about it fsr like -what if i drop it two weeks in like ive done in the past when trying to journal? -what if i dont have the energy to both journal and fill out a planner? -what if instead i forget to do my planner which is objectively more useful? -what if i fall into some kind of pit or hole in the ground? -when the 2025 planners and year-long journals hit online storefronts, what if i dont like them?
the point of this post is i think despite being medicated overwhelming anxiety can pop up about anything, even stuff that wont be happening for ~7 months
#k1.txt#i did take my anxiety medication this morning. for what its worth#*instead of a hobonichi next year im considering a leuchtturm for both layout and paper reasons
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#yet again i fail to convince my counselor i have executive function problems. mostly its bc i dont think well in the moment but also i just#feel kinda weird rn so i was having trouble making my thoughts connect. but i swear to christ i do have problems making my executives#function. i think the issue is im a grad student so i do well in school. not that it matters bc i kno loads of grad students with pretty#god awful adhd. one of my former lab mates was like. Adderall barely made her normal. and yet she was still a phd student#so like. its possible to have executive function issues as a grad student. the problem with me is the obsessive thoughts and self#destructive behavior so to her it sounds like im telling myself that i cant get my brain to work unless i put myself under extreme pressure#rather than i cant get my brain to work so to cope im putting myself under extreme pressure bc if i dont nothing gets done#but like fucking if i try to relax i dont do things. i cant clean my kitchen or my room or take out the trash or do my laundry#and im not like not doing it bc i dont wanna. these things r causing me active distress but i cant flip the switch that makes them happen#ive gotta write a grant proposal. read a paper. and find a paper to discuss by tomorrow morning. i had time to do all of this before but i#didnt do it. y didnt i do it? fucking i dont kno. ugh. whatever. i got refered to a psychiatrist so well see what happens there#i did accidentally set the meeting to when i meet with my advisor tho. oops. also my counselor said it sounds like im a rat running on a#wheel. which is accurate but also a really fucking funny thing to have said abt u. ur r a scrawny neglected lil rat. boohoo.#idk what type of medication she thinks i should b on. like what symptom r we trying to exhaust? the 0cd or the mood issues?#i dont even kno what the issue is. not that i guess it matters. idk. i need to read and write. fucking hell#unrelated
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head in my hands thinking about mike in s5. oh god it’s gonna be so bad. im crying just thinking about it please god let him be okay or i will kill myself
#trying to not go insane on here but im thinking about mike and the devastating loneliness and isolation and self hatred that’s coming for#him#i can’t do anything rn i literally just wanna hold him tight and tell him it’ll be ok#don’t you worry michael you’re gonna be just fine#on the verge of actual tears thinking about it. My god#i also just realized i did not take my medication this morning
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annnnd I slept all day again.... 😬
that's 12 hours. I was awake for 3 before that. and slept for 8 hours before that.
yeah I don't know I think I'm giving up.
#it's. so frustrating.#I only went to bed this morning to lie down for an hour. bc I was feeling so unmotivated and everything#asked my husband to wake me before he left. he did. but it took me 6 hours to finally get up#then had to lie down on the couch because my stomach hurt. and fell asleep again for the rest of the day.#i tried not taking the new medication this morning too. because I only wanted to lie down for an hour#fuck this#it'd so stupid#I set so many alarms and none of them helped. not even the ones that I did hear#and I'm so. so. tired right now#I just want to sleep more#personal
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Turns out I CANNOT survive two days without protein bars. Never putting off getting groceries again.
#i need them to take my medication in the morning#because i cannot be trusted to make anything or go to the cafeteria#anyway did u know that missing a dose of prozac fucks up ur stomach?#either that or ive been poisoned#💋
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ow
#on day 13 of this throat infection#so tired of not being able to swallow without awful pain :((((#I'M SO HUNGRY DUDE#and i KNOW i'm dehydrated#but geez louise#i'm spitting in the sink every ten minutes because just swallowing my saliva is too painful#jaw is stiff and sore#ears feel swollen esp the right one#i can FEEL the swelling on the outside of my throat#nose is congested off and on#went to the er on saturday and they tested for strep covid rsv and influenza and they all came back negative#so the doc just told me to stay hydrated and take tylenol/ibuprofen#which IS what i was ALREADY DOING arhghrhg#along with saltwater gargles and honey tea and all that other stuff#ordered a bunch more medication monday night to TRY and make a dent#mucinex cough drops throat spray all of it#none of it did anything#went to urgent care this morning#they ran the same tests which still came back negative#plus a couple others#(also negative)#BUT they DID prescribe me some steroids and antibiotics#so once my pharmacy fills those#i'm PRAYING that'll help with all this excruciating swelling#dude i'm so hungry and my throat hurts so bad and aaaghghhhh just wanna feel better when i wake up tomorrow!!!!#i've been getting sick more easily and often these days#and i'm worried that covid damaged my immune system#i never used to get sick at all really#miss those days
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super fun new years day adventure of take elderly cat to the emergency vet
#she's fine#like she has Health Problems but she is okay#we got some new food and 2 different medications#she likes the new food tho so that's nice#she slept on my chest this morning for like an hour and she NEVER cuddles with me#it was lovely but it made me worry about her#she's acting normal except for that and the somewhat gross symptom that made us decide to take her in#she has to go back to the regular vet bc apparently this issue is caused by gingivitis#did you know you're supposed to get your cat's teeth cleaned annually?#this was the first i heard of this across my 2 decades of cat ownership#anyway i'm all amped up from getting home like 2 hours ago and coming down from worrying about heidi#and frankly having my own (minor but uncomfortable) Health Issue that is keeping me awake#i will brush my teeth and i will get an icepack and then i will lie down
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hey y’’all! happy holidays! I woke up today in the middle of a pretty severe allergic reaction and am still recovering so it’ll probably be a few days before I have any crafting updates for y’all (except maybe a beanie that I almost finished yesterday)
I’m okay, I think today was just an object lesson about when meds say you need to take more if your body is stressed, they mean it. Like, they REALLY mean it.
Also I forgot low blood sugar could also make you nauseous, and that was a mistake
#the person behind the yarn#medical mention#allergy mention#nausea mention#blood mention#in the context of blood sugar but my brain is not entirely working right this moment#so I'm tagging with caution#I did not have to go to the hospital#but only because once I was in the car en route to the hospital my adrenals suddenly remembered how to function#and my blood sugar went back to 'oh no longer shaking tachycardic and super nauseous'#well. Probably my blood sugar?#I don't actually currently have a way to test it#but apparently cortisol is involved in the regulation of blood sugar#and I was like three hours late taking my morning steroid#(it's a mineralocorticoid prescribed for my salt issues but it still affects adrenal function)#so maybe it was my adrenals hating me? idk. point is I feel better now#will be mentioning it to the doc next time I go#and will be looking into how to check my blood sugar and ways to raise blood sugar when I'm too nauseous to eat#not today though it has been a rough day#I got warm slippers and socks though!! :D
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Ohhhh it’s probably cause I rb’d that post on its own then I was like OH wait who’s a coffee addict i know so I deleted my original rb and reblogged it again and tagged you that could be why🙈 I hope you’re feeling a little better today? ilu 💕💕💕
🥺🥺🥺 and I do feel a little better today thank youuu I love youu💕💕💕💕
#its the mornings that sucks since I forget to take my medication in the middle of the night#also its so hot right now im about to complain so much#which is why I still haven't done anything#Sian 🐺#also I did take a shower but I don't take this long I just had to sleep again bc these pills make me so sleepy ugh#💌
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i don’t. know what to do with myself rn
#i work at an SA hotline on the 12am-4am shift#i just got off a 2.5 hour call#she called in at 3:53 when i was just about to start packing up for bed#i thought it would be like. half an hour or 45 minutes at most but.#now it’s almost 7am#it was a really difficult call too. god she was dealing with so much at once#she hadn’t slept in 3 days because she was afraid to take her pain medication#i ended up staying on the phone with her while she took it and then guiding her breathing until she was ready to sleep#im really glad that she finally did it and that i was able to help her in an immediate and concrete way#but honestly? i mostly just feel fucking Weird#i don’t even know how to describe the feeling it’s just Weird#maybe it’s the exhaustion? i’ve been awake for 24 hours now#and 8 of those were at my internship where. i mean. im a teaching assistant at a school for kids with severe cognitive disabilities#it is. So Much. all of the time#so it would definitely Make Sense to be feeling Strange considering that Friday morning currently feels like it was 2 weeks ago#but i feel like that’s not the answer. like. it’s not the exhaustion#there’s something else#but i don’t know what and it’s bothering me#and i don’t know what to do with myself now#like it’s fully daylight outside and my sublet curtains are thin as fuck#there’s no way im gonna be able to sleep#but im So Tired#i just. don’t. know what to do with myself#it’s just a#??????
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prescribed meds: weehee hehee i fine :D
prescribed double the dose: :D
prescribed triple the dose: :D
prescribed quadruple the dose: THE SIDE EFFECTS D:
#ada weblog tag#//the side effect is very sudden low blood sugar (i am taking a diabetes medication to treat unrelated hormonal imbalances)#//this morning i didnt get to eat a proper breakfast within 2 hours of waking up so i have felt Bad all day#//notably i feel Bad in a way that also further discourages me from eating which is Worse#//though i will give myself credit: i grabbed a granola bar because i knew this was a risk. if i hadnt i mightve passed out.#//i will say this is exaggerated in that i did have some food sensitivity with higher doses so i adjusted my meals accordingly nbd#//so i still felt very confident telling my doc ''oh yeah im ok dw :)'' when she noted how high my prescription was at triple the dose#//internet anecdotes tell me it could be worse though
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anyway i can't remember if i've posted about this on here this weekend because tbh i can't remember a lot of this weekend but i am having one of the worst chronic illness flareups of my life. the stars aligned so every single one of my conditions hit me like a fucking bus on saturday morning. i can't breathe. i can't stand up without blacking out. i have tachycardia so bad i can feel my heartbeat in my feet and ears. i can't stop shaking. i feel like absolute garbage, and to top it off, i am having some fibromyalgia funtimes.
i fucking hate that this is my life.
#oh and two of my medications basically cancel each other out so i had to stop taking one which is making the more bearable condition worse#but like also. i need to breathe. my ventolin working is a pretty vital thing.#AND MY DAD STILL FULLY EXPECTED ME TO DO HIS ERRANDS THIS MORNING. AND YOU KNOW WHAT. I DID IT. I FELT LIKE I WAS GONNA FUCKING DIE#BUT I DID IT#anyway.#skylark prive#tbd
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Y'all ever have hip pain so bad that you just lay in bed until you inevitably have to hobble to the bathroom to pee
#fun with chronic pain#this was my morning#i finally got some medication on board#but i need to eat before i take ibuprofen#so im just cruising on acetaminophen atm#idk what i did to make my hip flare up like this#but hoo boy#it's also eating up my spoons#like a program left running in the background
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