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gallusrostromegalus · 2 years

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Herschel Has Discovered Tool Use. Again.

In january of 2021, deep in the throes of pandemic psychosis, we acquired a Corgi Puppy.

I would like to go on the record that we did not get a Corgi because they're cute. We got a Corgi because they're criminally brilliant and enthusiastic working dogs that were bred to bully cattle, which is the exact temperment a dog living in a house with three ADHD adults should have. Herschel does commit a lot of crime, but he also does his appinted service-dog job of "make everyone wake up, eat meals and go to bed at a reasonable and consistent time" extremely well, as well as his bonus jobs of "Keep the squirrels the hell out of the garden" and "Yell every time the cat does something". I didn't actually ask him to do that last job but it has helped in the "teach the cat to stay the hell off the stove" area.

But even with having a whole pack of humans another dog, and a cat to manage, this pales in comparison to his genetic capacity to manage several hundred sheep or cattle across the fields of Wales, and thus, Herschel has decided on further intellectual pursuits to occupy himself, namely, speedrunning the early phases of human tool use and terraforming.

I realized he has the brains of an entire hunter-gatherer tribe shortly after he got fixed, and within 24 hours and still dpey from anesthesia, he'd figured out that his plastic cone could be used to monopolize the water bowl and his favorite chew toys, and within a week, had learned how to carry three toys at once while leaving his mouth open by tucking the toys behind his enormous ears and under his chin. He also figured out that he could wiggle the cone to rest against his shoulders, and started using it as a shovel by literally running the bottom edge into the ground. But that wasn't making holes effeicently enough, apparently, and I ended up watching him figure out how to rotate the cone around so the two pieces of overlapping plastic were under his chin, then use his chin and the stairs to the deck to pinch both ends into a much more efficient V-Shape that let him gouge huge strips of dirt up in seconds. The anthropologists and animal behaviorists in the audience may recognize this as Tool Creation, a behavior normally only seen in higher primates, crows, and some parrots. Once a hole of suitable length, depth and temperature had been achieved, he very carefully rolled the cone around so the digging side was over his head and the smooth side under his chin, and splooted into his hole to cool his little tummy and stitches off. It was at that point that I realized that I was going to have to teach him how to garden, or he was going to teach himself.

He no longer has the cone (He was beginning to experiment with it as a battering ram), but his morning ritual is now "Wake everyone up at 8AM by screaming, locate everyone in house and jam my nose up theirs to make sure they're alive, go outside and scream at the squirrels. Now that Yard is Secure, go get Fun Parent who has hopefully taken their meds by now, and supervise them while they rifle through the plants (this is apparently KEY to their mental health), eating any pest animals Fun Parent points out, chase squirrel AGAIN, go inside and get Breakfast cookie." and BY GOD if we deviate from it there will be much screaming and destruction. If I am not home, it has been reported that he walks round the garden beds and sniffs the plants in the order I usually check them in before he will agree to come in. He doesn't quite know what the deal with the melons is, just that they need to be checked.

But we're out of the labor-intensive parts of gardening and now into Harvesting Season, and this is a bit boring except when I give him snap peas right off the vine, and he has decided to work on the complex physics problem that is Doorknobs.

And last week, he had a breakthrough.

Sometime in 2020, my mom sort-of taught her horrible crime herding dog Arwen how to open the back door so she could let herself out as she pleased during the day and stop interrupting Mom's Zoom calls. Arwen is a Kelpie, which means she's about 60lbs with full-length legs and horrible monkey paws that are one joint away from being hands, so when Arwen wants to open the back door, she sits up, leans on the door for purchase/to push it, and uses her terrible crime hands to *push* on the knob until it turns. She can pull the knob open by pawing and catching it on her toes, but she's 11-13 years old now and has mild arthritis, so she prefers to catch it on her central pad instead. She taught Charlie, the other equally brilliant but less criminally inclined dog, to do this but he doesn't like to go outside alone, so he rarely does this.

Herschel, ever the observant student, immediately tried copying them, but even though he is actually tall enough to reach the knob, his toes are just too stubby to get a decent grip on the knob, pushing or pulling, and the first few times, gave up and sat down to scream until one of the fullsize dogs or humans came to open the door for him.

Last week, we were up at my parent's again, and I watched him hunt around the living room until he found his slightly-sticky orange rubber ball (It's clean, it's just a kind of rubber that's always a bit tacky), carry it across the house, stand up on his hind legs at the back door, put the rubber ball on top of the gap between the knob and the wall, and then push down on the ball, which caught the doorknob and turned it for him, thus opening the door. He let himself out, had a merry time yelling at the squirrels, came back in, stopped a few feet inside the door, went back out, grabbed his ball, and brought it back into his kennel, a place he can leave toys if he doesn't want the other dogs playing with them.

This means he somehow worked out how doorknobs work, how fucking levers work, and that his orange rubber ball specifically was the one that would work (none of his other toys are the correct size/texture), that he'd need that ball specifically to open the door again, and yesterday he did the same trick with the bedroom door, so he knows that the rubber ball/skeleton key can be used on all doorknobs, not just that one.

I wonder if I can teach him to sweep.

___

If you want to fund Herschel's research into Tool Use and/or get me therapy for the ensuing chaos, please feel free to donate to my Ko-Fi, or get further Dog Content by subscribing to my Patreon.

#Family Lore #Dogs #Herschel the Haunkkah Goblin #Charleston Chew

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sugar-coated-galaxies · 1 year

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look i'd love to ask about your dnd characters but idk anything about dnd beyond the fact that my dad used to have dnd books about a bunch of funky creature dudes i assume you fight or something

Yeah it's pretty much improv but u develop severe emotional attachments to ur characters and sometimes fight anyways if my boy Alistair dies tomorrow in combat my friends get to deal with me introducing his mother into the story and I'm going full milf if we meet up with the pirates again I WILL bang the second in command I do not care that the milf is married shes as much a bisexual whore as her idiot son is and I love them dearly

I may play dnd but dont misunderstand, I do not know how it works. I only know yell, make slutty bisexual characters, and fall in love with my friends character Titus, one of few that arent fuckable, because hes 7'5" and could crush my stupid idiot slut of a sorcerer if he wanted to and by god would Alistair thank him thank u for ur time

#riot.txt #ask #melon #sugarwine #dnd #listen i dont want u to ask aboit specifics in dnd ask me which character in the campaign id deck and ill go from there #hell ill split it into sections. party member/npc/pirate specific #dude i just wanna yell about these dumb bitches #ask me about the headcanons we were fuckin aroung with last week about chieon!!#i can go into detail! and i wil!!!

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swartists4palestine · 2 months

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Meet the team!!

Here’s a little bit about the people behind the project.

"Hi! I'm Moss, my comfortless comfort character is Boba Fett, and I'm offering icons and busts! Also, I'm big on AOTC but I turn it off right before the battle of Geonosis starts." -@baufraus

Howdy! I'm @maulfucker but you can call me Youni, I love alien ocs and villains the most, and my favorite star wars is Phantom Menace :]

Hi! I’m Ty! (they/them) I’m offering half or full body drawings of your OCs or fave characters! At the moment I’m pretty into rebels and the clone wars :)) -@tyquu

“Hii! I’m gooserolls! (they/he/xe) I am offering pencil or colored digital portraits of ocs or canon characters! I love all things mandalorians, although the clone wars has a special place in my heart too :] -@gooserolls

"Hiya, I'm Mel (or Melon) (she/her) I'm offering coms of ocs or canon characters! I especially love drawing togruta and prequel era characters but have fun with most any portrait :>" -@notsomeloncholy

"Hello, I'm Nova (he/they) and I'll be offering commissions of your OCs! I am obsessed with Mandos, Chiss and the First Order, and a big fan of Empire strikes back". -@mandalorian-general

"hello hello, I'm Crypt, (they/them) lover of animation, ocs and all things silly. Offering half body and full body sketches and doodles. Favourite characters? No one in particular, but I'm fond of the clones and Hondo" -@dragon-subway

“I’m Ben, (he/him) an art student who aspires to be a character designer. I’ll be offering character portraits and sketches! My favorite Star Wars tends to be animation, in particular the Clone Wars and the Bad Batch!” -@phi-guy

"Hey I'm @stealingpotatoes, (she/her) but you can call me Potes! I'm offering half-lined doodles for donations! My favourite sw character is Cal Kestis (closely followed by Ahsoka and the Skywalker fam), but I can't wait to draw your faves too!"

Hello! I'm Anemonet and I will be doing coloured sketches ^-^ I'm a big Aayla Secura fan and togruta enthusiast, I am also very fond of the prequel trilogy (its so bad, I love it to bits). -@tenomenema

hi, i’m caws!! (he/him) i’m a big fan of the prequel trilogy, the clone wars, and rebels :) i’m offering colored digital sketches of ocs and canon characters! -@cawsceries

hihi! I’m Ophelia, doing comms of ocs or canon characters! Offering digital art—big fan of pantorans but I’ll do my best with anything -@sithbian

"hi!! my name is deck. im offering colored half body drawings of ocs and canon characters. im all about prequels era and tcw but tbh like anything" -@ddeck

“Hi! I’m sam (he/they), I’m an art student who loves the original trilogy, clones (especially cody)and mandalorians. I‘m offering colored sketches and painted pieces, from headshot to full body, depending on the amount donated. I’m alright with most subjects, oc and canon, but I particularly love drawing clones and most sw alien species :)” -@aspic31

Hello there! My name is Lee and Im a big ole fan of clone wars, bad batch, and the Mandalorian! I’m happy to do half body digital drawings of canon clones, clone ocs, and mando ocs (if you have an approved Mandalorian Mercs armor happy to do them!!! -@ofteasandherbs

"Hello, I'm S_C_G! (she/her) I'm offering short one shots. I love the prequels, jedi, mandalorians, and star wars in general." -@s-c-g-s-c-g

“Hello there! I’m @steepedfoxglovetea (they/she/he) and I’ll write medium length one shots. I love writing about The High Republic, the Rebellion, and just after RotS”

“Hi I’m @lost-in-derry (she/they) on tumblr and ao3! I can write short to medium length one shots about Rebels and Clone Wars”

“hi!! i’m lee (she/her), i’m offering short fics between 300-600 words of canon characters/ocs from the prequel/tcw era or original trilogy era.” -@kookyburrowing

"Hi! I'm Lil, (she/her), and I'm a big fan of the Bad Batch, but open to drawing any Star Wars characters or OCs with clear references. I'm taking comms for bust, half-body, and full body colored sketches. Willing to do flat color for higher donations! From the river to the sea." -@the-little-moment

Hi! I’m Trip (they/them) I’m a disabled artist and I’ve been a star wars fan since 2008 I am a really big ahsoka fan, Cody fan, Just mostly a clone wars guy but I love all of star wars all around I will draw any star wars characters but I prefer clone wars era :) -@triple-a-artist

my name is cer (he/him) and i draw sometimes. i also write but poorly so i probably won't do that. i like drawing clone troopers and ahsoka...mostly anything star wars the clone wars 2008 related. i still don't know how to draw anakin but i can definitely figure that out given time -@aliettali

i am ochi and i draw/animate (mostly draw)!! i like star wars the clone wars 2008 a lot and also bright colors and lighting. happy to be here!! -@ochi-does-art

Hi, I’m @chiliger and I’m offering sketch and simple flat color portraits of OC’s and canon characters. I especially love the clones, but Rogue One and Screecher’s Reach have a special place in my heart.

#artists for palestine #meet the team

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cozage · 1 year

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Hi, I wasn’t sure exactly what OP characters you wrote for, but I just figured I’d shoot my shot. So Robin, Vivi, and Boa having their s/o suddenly pull a kabedon on them.

A/N: This is actually my second kabedon request in my inbox (and I hope i did it right!) so I’m just going to combine them and give everyone all at once. Ladies first of course! (This is my first time writing any ladies…I’ll leave it up to you to decide if I can actually keep them in character or not)

Characters: gn reader x Robin, Vivi, Boa, Zoro, Law, Shanks

Cw: none :)

Total word count: 1.2k

Kabedon

(for those of you who don’t know it’s when character A walks up to character B and hits the wall next to their head, which results in character B being pinned against the wall and the two characters being very close. Used romantically in a lot of anime to show affection. You can google it for a photo reference!)

Robin

Robin is learning against the wall, reading a book, when your hand hits the wall near her head.

Her eyes slide over to your hand on the wall, now keeping her pinned in place. She smirked at your boldness.

“Are you doing what I think youre doing?” she says, her eyes flicking back to yours. Her blue eyes hold mischief and something else that you can’t quite place.

“Maybe,” you tease. You bend in close, so youre only centimeters from her face now. “What do you think I’m doing?” you whisper.

You can see it now, she’s nervous with excitement and the thrill of the chase. “I don’t know,” she breathes out, and you can feel her breath tickle your skin as she speaks. “What are you doing?”

“Oh, nothing.” You pull you hand back and lean away from her. “Just testing out a theory.”

You walk away standing tall and proud of the ability to make Nico Robin nervous, leaving her standing mouth agape in shock.

Vivi

Vivi is excitingly chatting with you about a new trade agreement she thinks is going to go through when you lean in and hit your hand against the wall.

She barely skips a beat, continuing to talk and explain how amazing it will all be for Alabasta.

You intended to do it to get her to be shocked, but now you’re standing this close to her and you’re starting to get nervous.

“Hey, are you okay?” She stops, looking at you with concern. “You hit the wall kind of hard and now your face is red.”

You laugh at that. She’s so close that you can smell the smell of melon she had for breakfast this morning, still lingering on her breath.

“Vivi darling,” you coo to her. “Do you know what a kabedon is?”

“Yeah! Its-” she looks at you, and then at your hand next to her, and her face goes as red as yours. “Oh my gosh!”

She smacks you lightly, and you pull away, feigning immense pain from her soft hit, which sends her into a fit of giggles.

“Tell me more about this trade deal now,” you say. And she launches back into all of the details. It all seems very boring, but her voice has such a nice ring that you have to listen to every word she says.

Boa

Boa is resting against a stone wall watching the children play outside when you startle her with your hand slapping near her head

Her eyes snap open and look your way. “Do you want to be turned to stone?”

“That would be very unfortunate for me,” you quip, scrunching your face at her.

She glares at you, upset at being disturbed. “Then why are you so close to me right now?”

“Boa, my love,” you remove your hand from near her head and take a step back. “It’s a sign of affection.”

“Affection?” she says, and you can see that your piqued her curiosity and confusion.

“Mmmhmmm,” you nod, putting your hand back where it was a little more gently now, lowering your voice as you close the gap. “See how close we are?”

You see her cheeks turn that familiar shade of pink, and her mouth part just a bit. “I quite like this,” she said softly.

“Me too,” you say, smiling back at her.

Zoro

Zoro is watching his crew mates on the deck using the wall as a support, and his eyes follow you as you walk up and slam your hand down next to his head.

He flinches slightly at the sudden noise, his eyes narrowing into a glare at you.

“What do you want?” he groaned. You can hear the irritation thick in his voice.

“What do YOU want, Roronoa?” you replied, looking at him through your lashes.

His eye twitches in confusion. “I want you to not slap the wood next to my face for no reason, I thought that was pretty clear!”

You laugh at his answer and roll your eyes, giving him a peck on the nose before you walk off.

“What the hell was that?!” he screams after you.

“You’ll understand when you’re older!” You call back to him over your shoulder, giggling as you bounced away.

Law

Law is waiting outside the Bepo’s room staring at the ground when your hand slaps the wall near his head.

His eyes jerk up in irritation, but they soften slightly when they see you. Only slightly.

“What are you doing?” He says. You can hear his voice is mostly irritated, but there’s also a bit of curiosity behind it.

“Oh you know what I’m doing, Trafalgar Law.” You use the sweetest voice you can to address him, and you see his irritation turn to surprise. You can see a bit of pink grace his cheeks, and he squirms a bit beneath you

You press closer to him but still don’t touch him your lips hovering right above his. You can see his gold eyes twitch down to stare at your lips, and you moisten them with your tongue in front of your captive audience.

You hear Bepo’s door turn, and you step back from your captain quickly.

“And that’s why I was thinking about how useful it would be to have a a hydroelectric generator, you know?” You look at him innocently, like nothing had just happened between the two of you.

Law stares at you, too flustered to respond. “I thought we already had a hydroelectric generator?” Bepo questioned, looking at your captain.

“We do?!” You knew that, you had picked it out a few months ago. You do your best to act like nothing happened, but Law isn’t as good of an actor. He’s still standing there slack-jawed, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

“Well, you should’ve told me that before I went into this whole pitch for one! That’s so embarrassing!” You saunter down the hallway away from them before they can respond, leaving Law breathless and Bepo extremely confused.

Shanks

Shanks is standing on the deck watching his crew, when you walk up to him and pull the move.

“Hey hot stuff,” you say, slamming your hand next to his head.

“Hey yourself,” he says back, and his eyes glancing over to your hand. He instantly knows what you’re doing, and a bemused look falls upon his face. “What exactly do you think you’re doing?”

“Oh you know,” you move your face closer to his. “Just hanging out.”

He laughs at that, and he runs his hand through his hair. “That’s nice and all,” he sighs.

It happens in an instant. His hand wraps around your torso and flips you around, so now your roles are reversed. You’re pressed against the hard wood of the ship, and his arm pins you into place. He has the cockiest smirk on his face, watching you stand there trying to figure out what just happened.

He leans down, whispering softly in your ear. “But this is the way it should be, love.”

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ghostherlig · 5 months

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i am very slow with writing atm with being sick and also my wrists are starting to hurt more now that it's getting colder- but here's some silly goofy random headcanons while im recovering!! (for johnny, kenshi, raiden, and kung lao) under the cut bc this really ran away from me- (collected over the course of this entire day as things popped into my brain, i apologize for the mass of words you're about to read :'))

johnny can play piano!! he has a grand piano that he really loves and he plays anything from classical to ost's to his own little tunes whenever he thinks them up- he has a recorder attached to it so he can remember them or maybe post his own song one day

(based off the previous hc) if/when kenshi is over/moves in he'll play at night and let kenshi listen in- but randomly johnny will transition what he's playing into the jaws or michael meyers theme and that's kenshi's cue to start running- because now the house is in hide and seek mode, and as soon as johnny stops playing, he'll be searching

kenshi used to play the violin growing up, but he dropped it once he was old enough and competent enough to commit himself to the yakuza- he can still remember some of the songs he used to love to play. he hums them from time to time and has been caught doing the motions of playing the violin before

kenshi loves animals but has an extra soft spot for cats and bunnies especially- he's a cat magnet in places where strays are common, they always flock to him (he for sure keeps catnip in his pocket when he can)

johnny loves his action and hero films but kenshi enjoys romcoms and horror- romcoms for the stories and drama, and horror films because the sound design usually slaps- he also can tell you what fruit or vegetable was absolutely destroyed based on the sounds alone

lao and raiden are way too good at Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes- raiden is on the manual while lao is on the bomb and they can crack the normal mode in like 45 minutes (they're a little slower when they swap places but they can still do it impressively fast (fastest speedrun time is sub 30mins)

johnny knows how to play mahjong after taking a role and having to play on-screen for five minutes- he wanted it to look authentic and thought "there's no better way than to actually play"- raiden and lao found out and now they're all trying to teach kenshi with specially made tiles with braille in the corners

kenshi is ridiculously good at poker- he brought a deck of cards with braille stamped on them and him and johnny played strip poker for a night- needless to say kenshi was smirking to himself as he switched his button up for johnny's

johnny can do pitch and diction perfect impressions of people he's heard talk for long periods of time- you can bet that a lot of his free time at wu shi was spent scaring his fellow champions by talking to them in liu kang's voice from behind a wall-

(based off the last hc) johnny only does it around people he knows well or as a party trick with different characters from pop culture- most often his power is used for evil though

raiden isn't a morning person and actually is super groggy in the mornings- the first thing he does on early days is take a cold shower to wake himself up

(based off the last hc) lao is a morning person and is usually the one to wake up raiden by ripping his blankets off of him- he's lucky he has survived this long, but he tells everyone that if looks could kill, raiden would have killed him long before he made it to wu shi

we all know kung lao eats for a family of five, but that man also naps like a divorced dad after an all you can eat buffet- he is OUT after he's done absolutely fucking up like five full plates of food

raiden really likes boba!! kenshi took him to get some after an errand run and he fell in love with the taro flavor- he also really enjoys winter melon and the regular thai tea

johnny always gets his boba with coffee- he doesnt really like tea flavors and no matter how many sips of kenshi's tea he has, he will always prefer his coffee

kenshi bought johnny a really nice espresso machine that he uses every morning- johnny didnt buy himself one before that bc he never thought he would enjoy making coffee at home and it was easier to just stop by the local cafe since they always had his order ready early- but he finds it really calming and really nice to slow his mornings down and make a latte before leaving for work

johnny, to return the gesture, bought kenshi a really nice kitchen knife since he knows the man really likes to cook- it sees a lot of use as it's a santoku that he basically uses like a chef's knife (it's his sharpest and most well treated kitchen tool, right next to his 8 inch cast iron)

kung lao owns maybe three articles of clothing with sleeves- all of them are coats for when it rains- oh and one hoodie that he stole from raiden that somehow survived when he went into his wardrobe and cut and hemmed all of the sleeves

when kenshi visits, johnny makes him coffee in the morning too but since kenshi doesnt always like the bitter coffee flavor he'll add some fun home made syrups- he has plain vanilla, but also has seasonal flavors like pumpkin spice, snickerdoodle, sugar cookie, white mocha, peppermint, etc.

kenshi LOVES mint chocolate flavored things- he especially loves the kitkat flavor and the pocky flavor, as well as ice cream- johnny CANNOT stand it, he's never liked mint outside of gum and even then he prefers cinnamon or clove gum (the first time kenshi kissed him he was confused bc he tasted like spices)

johnny keeps a jar of butterscotch candies on his desk for when he needs to brainstorm ideas- he finds he thinks better when his mouth is occupied (oral fixation haver)

(based off the previous hc) kenshi bought him some violet (the flower) flavored candy after he found out johnny always kept a stash- he also will refill the giant glass jar with butterscotch candies when he knows johnny is busy and will forget

(also based off the candy hc) lao and raiden also buy him hard candies- they get him ginger and lemon ones that johnny falls in love with immediately- he has two jars on his desk now, one for butterscotch and one for ginger

raiden really likes sketching and coloring- lao bought him one of those adult coloring books with mandalas and really intricate shapes and raiden finished all of it in like two weeks- he used to sketch in his free time and has an entire sketchbook dedicated to drawings of lao and his features (a lot of his arms, hands, eyes, and smile) it's hidden under his mattress

kung lao shaves his own undercut when it gets too long- normally cant let it grow out for longer than two or three weeks. sometimes, raiden will offer to do it for him so they can spend a bit of time together and just talk and be close <3

johnny definitely really enjoys washing kenshi's hair- johnny has a bit of a curl to some of his hair but he never uses the products he's supposed to or the methods he's supposed to when it dries- so it's pretty straight, but kenshi's is pin straight and doesnt tangle the way his does sometimes, so he really loves running his hands through it and has even convinced kenshi a few times to sit so johnny could put coconut oil in it for him

johnny loves coconut flavored things and purposefully buys ice cream bars that have coconut cream based ice cream- kenshi was unaware of this and was offered one and said yes thinking that it was vanilla- kenshi does not like coconut, so it was a very sudden and unpleasant surprise

kenshi cuts fruits as his way of showing love very often- he washes and cuts fruits for himself when he's stressed but preps it for others out of love and will often take apple slices, peeled oranges, cut melon (of any kind), or strawberries and grapes up to johnny's in-home office while he's working

johnny buys kenshi small gifts year round and goes crazy for the holidays and his birthday- he asked kenshi how he would feel if johnny bought him (technically them) a house back in japan- kenshi drew his line in the sand and capped johnny's gift prices at $2k per holiday/birthday (which he had broken before)

raiden keeps taxidermy bugs!! he always loved butterflies as a kid and his first framed butterfly was a gift from lao

please excuse any typos, it's later in the day now and my eyes are a little strained- i hope this was comprehensible, lol

#ghost's ouija board #johnny cage #kenshi takahashi #johnshi #raiden #kung lao #railao #could be seen as them being poly #but that's up to you #mk1 2023 #this is a mess #please enjoy my sick ramblings about the gays #long post #whoops

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accio-victuuri · 6 months

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This is part two of me talking about yibo cause i have lots of thoughts hahahahahaha! Whatever he is doing is effective in getting him out of that idol circle. Tho the title is there, especially him being a “traffic” star, it’s only a matter of time before he fully integrates into Actor Wang Yibo. Not that there is anything wrong with traffic cause it has it’s perks. I remember in an interview wyb said, only those who don’t have traffic would say they want it. I noticed how selective he is with projects that he will spend his time on and if he does— it serves his purpose as an actor ( but not forgetting to have fun too and he still has time for his hobbies ). As a fan, I have adjusted my expectations in what he is doing and trust his career choices. I would imagine that there are people out there who are interested in taking the same route as him because of how successful he is.

I found myself thinking today what’s the difference between WYB and the majority of his peers? A lot of them are at ELLE Fashion Awards decked out in beautiful clothes and being the celebrity they are. In the meantime, WYB is at the GRA event because of his nomination as an Actor. That statement may sound like i’m shading the other artists but i’m only stating a fact. The ELLE event melons actually had WYB as a participant but we all knew he couldn’t because he had to attend GRA nominee ceremony.

My point is, c-ent is fiercely competitive. From the drama/movie projects, endorsements, spot in the hot search, trying to stay relevant etc but I have observed how all these things are not really WYB’s priority. He is focused with being an actor who churns out quality movie/dramas. I am aware that this comes with some privilege on his end that he can do this but he did take a risk with it too. In the entertainment industry, it’s really rare to find someone ( and at his age ) who is done with feeding their ego. It’s so refreshing. Maybe it’s why a lot of fans and even passerby are attracted to him and his energy. and why Antis are scratching their head trying to find faults with someone who doesn’t fit the mold.

I’m leaving the VCR for his GRA nomination here that was shown in the ceremony earlier. It’s amazing! I love Mister Ye! 🤍

Also this photo of him reading the certificate. I feel so somft. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

part one is here and more of GRA ceremony today

#wang yibo #personal #DONT MIND ME IM JUST BEING INCREDIBLY BIAS TOWARDS YIBO #NO ONE IS SURPRISED

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rainbowsky · 6 months

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For those of you who are newer,

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

you might not be aware that DD has previously been known as the messenger bird because he would frequently post Douyin video clips that would hint at things that GG was about to do. So even GG's solo fans were beginning to pay attention to DD's clips to see if they could get hints of things that were coming soon from GG.

He hasn't been posting such clips for quite a while, but he used to do it frequently a couple years ago.

Whenever I see a new clip from him I always start clowning, as do many turtles. 🤡

As I have posted about previously, there is a melon that GG will be endorsing Hennessy cognac. Turtles have noticed that the background music for the latest clip is called Hennesy by Payin' Top Dolla.

Could it be that the Hennessy materials are about to drop soon? Maybe some exciting ad where GG looks ultra handsome?

I guess we'll find out soon enough!

And if you want to get really galaxy clown brain, he's decked out head to toe with Evisu seagull logo wear. Seagulls are birds, (although I think they'd probably make pretty chaotic and noisy messenger birds). 😅

#bjyx #yizhan #the mysteries of yizhan #🤡🚗#messenger bird

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unloneliest · 5 months

Text

my tmg song sorters are once again up to date! you can find them all under the cut. i added a total of 5 new song sorters this year, as well as an album sorter that's comprehensive of all of the mountain goats' releases, not just what's on streaming!

the rest of the sorters include only what's on spotify, but with each new (old) addition to streaming, it's looking like making the jump to a more comprehensive sorter situation is going to be easier and easier!

if you attempt the all spotify songs sorter, i’d recommend using a computer to do so - it takes a very long time to do & will sometimes refresh on mobile browsers, which starts you over from the beginning.

anyways! hope yall enjoy ^_^ let me know what you think! post your results and tag me! etc!

GENERAL:

all spotify songs

album sorter (just what’s on spotify)

album sorter (all albums)

songs released on eps/exclusively as singles (spotify playlist)

MERGE:

jenny from thebes

the jordan lake sessions 5

bleed out

the jordan lake sessions 3-4

dark in here

the jordan lake sessions 1-2

getting into knives

songs for pierre chuvin

in league with dragons

goths

beat the champ

transcendental youth

all eternals deck

4AD:

the life of the world to come

heretic pride

get lonely

the sunset tree

zopilote machine

we shall all be healed

tallahassee

LOFI:

all hail west texas

devil in the shortwave

jam eater blues

the coroner’s gambit

isopanisad radio hour

new asian cinema

full force galesburg

nothing for juice

nine black poppies

sweden

beautiful rat sunset

bitter melon farm

ghana

protein source of the future… now!

...

possible future changes:

adjusting the comprehensive song sorter to be in the same order as my all tmg in chronological order playlist on spotify, & linking it

including the EPs that were compiled in to ghana/protein source/melon farm as their own separate sorters

separating EPs and albums more fully in my lists of sorters & in the album sorters i've created

including EPs and albums not (yet?) on streaming

including unreleased and live only songs? pros: people can have a tool that helps people who've heard them before in figuring out their favorite mountain goats songs. cons: removes new fans' need to go searching for unheard gems, & that's a huge part of the enjoyment

#the mountain goats #tmg #jenny from thebes #new asian cinema #devil in the shortwave #isopanisad radio hour #jam eater blues #jam posts #listen. it drives me nuts to be lumping all lo-fi together but until i break down the compilations into their component parts it just makes #sense in terms of functionality. sadly #tmg posting

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axcel-lucci · 1 year

Text

R.I.N.G

Law x fem!reader

Note: part2

"hey..." (Y/n) called softly as law groaned and looked up at her from where he was sleeping on Bepo on the deck

"What...?" He sat up and yawned

"Put some sunblock..." She merely mentioned as she kneeled Infront of him and put some sunblock on her hands then started applying first in his face and neck

"Why do I have to...?"

"You, of all people, should know it." She started spreading some on his arms, "it's to prevent skin cancer and sunburn... Dummy" she giggled softly and started putting some more on his back and front

"Oh... Right..." He sighed, still sleepy.

"There we go. Simple as that, you're good to go." She smiled as she removed his hat, ruffled his hair to release some heat, and put it back on.

"Just kiss me already"

She laughed, "okay..." She then leaned over and kissed him on the lips in which he immediately responded.

"Have a nice nap sweety" she grinned and left.

"Captain is so lucky..." Shachi frowned

"I can hear you" law smirked as Shachi yelped and ran off, "I am indeed quite lucky to have her..."

"Captain..." Bepo called

"Yeah?"

"About the R.I.N.G..." he whispered

"Oh shit..."

"You forgot?"

"I totally did!"

"Law" (y/n) called as he hummed, "do you want some juice? I made some"

"Yes please baby" he smiled as she nodded and went to grab him some juice and a plate of sweet, juicy, watermelons

"Should I keep it still or should I give it back to you?"

"Keep it for now... On our valentine's date. Give it to me."

"Alright captain"

"Here you are" law smiled inwardly as (y/n) placed a tray down and sat beside him, "I scored the melon, and believe me, it's sweet"

"It is. Do you want some?" Law asked his bear as he immediately sat up and said 'yes'

Giggling softly, she leaned her body against his as he wrapped an arm around her.

"I love you, law..." She smiled as law huffed a bit.

" I love you more..." He whispered in her ear sending different types of shudders through her whole body

He merely chuckled at her response and kissed her deeply

#trafalgar law #law x reader #trafalgar law x reader #night thoughts #random #law x y/n #one piece

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feriafaz · 3 months

Note

What are your headcanons on PJM characters?

Honestly u didn't specify so

Gekko : Bros forever going to be short, and he also loves trolls

Catboy: He likes men and is a Sephora 10 year old

Owlette: has a flossy flash shrine in her closet

Newton: says "erm actually" and does the glasses thing

Anyu: Cries herself to sleep

Lilyfay: can't spell for shit, and she likes rollercoasters

Bastet: fucking loves those cat trees & meows a lot to the point she gets called a furry

Pharaoh Boy: calls Bastet a furry and likes to do makeup

Armadylan: throws a tantrum whenever he gets told no

Romeo: His hair is still slightly pink from the one shorts ep when it turned punk

Night Ninja: fucking loves the joker and makes to many references

Wolfy Kids: they watch Coco melon religiously

Luna Girl: watches monster high and crushes on Claudine

Carly: has a mlp g4 + g5 obsession

Cartoka: loves lightning McQueen in an unhealthy way

Orticia: yells at vegans

Munki Gu: he doesn't shower

PJ robot: the mom of the group

Gloop the Third: will bring up your trauma if he doesn't get his way

Motsuki: rob's toy stores

Glooplets & Ninjalinos: they are the reason prison exists

Octobella: she bullies the hell out of Percival and toddlers on Roblox

Pirate Robot: told Romeo to "Jump off the deck and break his neck"

Icecub: for some reason loves to sniff everything at bath & body works

#pj masks #headcanon

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jungle-angel · 2 months

Text

The One Where They Go To Florida: Part 3 (Frat!Rhett x Reader)

Summary: Florida Fuckfest has only begun and already Rhett can see why you never ever trust somebody named Kelso from Wisconsin

Warnings: Frat boy shenanigans, spring break ragers etc.

Tagging: @floydsmuse @attapullman @callmemana

The Delta Tau Epsilon party was in full swing, the alcohol flowing in rivers as Kyle Shanahan deejayed all the music. Lizzo's "Boys" blared from the speakers while the herd of drunken college students from all over the states danced to the music. But out on the deck of the beach house, an entirely different set of shenanigans was ensuing.

"Kelso, this is the dumbest idea ever," Rhett told him.

"Oh c'mon it'll be fun!!" Danny Kelso insisted.

"Dude are you stoned?" Kayce questioned. "Did you cross-fade?"

"No."

"KELSO!!!!"

Danny was relentless in his venture. No matter how hard the big brothers could try, he was utterly relentless, desiring nothing more than to prove the point that he could indeed, ride a canoe down the deck stairs.

"Bruh, ya'll'er fuckin nuts," Bo remarked, his thick Mississippi drawl interrupted by a monster burp.

"What? You guys have never ridden in a canoe before?"

"Kelso do you forget that half of us are from land-locked states?" Kayce queried.

"No."

"Kayce there ain't no arguin with this one," Rhett sighed shaking his head. "Guess we're just gonna have to let nature take its course."

"ALRIGHT I'M GOIN FOR A RIDE!!!!" Danny shouted excitedly.

"Bro just promise us one thing?" Ravi told him.

"What?"

"Wear these."

Kelso was a little dumbfounded when Ravi handed him the athletic cup and Rhett's football helmet. "What do I need these for?"

"It's so your melon doesn't get hit on the way down," Kayce answered.

The boys fitted him with everything he needed before Kelso went to the top of the deck and gave a running start. He jumped feet first into the canoe, cheering as the thing clattered down the deck stairs.

"OH SHIT!!!!!"

Down the stairs, through the pool shed, across the pool, down the dock and skidding into the water, went the canoe with Kelso in it, the shattered boards of the pool shed following in his wake.

"Oh my God," Rhett chuckled.

"Total destruction," Kayce said.

Kelso came hobbling back as soon as he had paddled the canoe to shore and left it near the gate. "HOOOOLY SHIT I WANNA GO AGAIN!!!!" he hollered excitedly.

The boys groaned knowing it was gonna be a a long two weeks of not only looking after the pledges, but Kelso as well.

"Think he's gonna survive spring break?" Kayce asked.

"If he's anything like his uncle who was here in the 70s?" Rhett said. "Probably not."

But either way, they were willing to find out.

#rhett abbott #rhett abbott x reader #frat!rhett #frat!rhett abbott #frat!rhett abbott x reader

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francesminos-tt · 3 months

Note

Victorian era, Daeron is engaged to Lady Baratheon, thus ensuring a strong alliance for his family, but on his return to Kings Lading, he finally meets his nephew Joffrey, a knight so interesting and handsome that he makes Daeron question everything... angst, Interlized homophobia, denying feelings... pls 🥹🫶

I’m not sure if this is angst enough for you, but it’s the best I can do. Enjoy.

Daeron regretted returning to King’s Landing by ship the moment the ship left Old Town Harbor. The weather was unforgiving this time of the year, strong gust sweeping across the sea, with occasional rain, or even hail. Daeron couldn't sleep in his cold chamber, with howling wind and loud noises of rain drops pouring on the deck. The captain kept the ship carefully near the coast, sailing south first and then traced the shoreline of Dorne. However, the ship still almost got wrecked when sailing through the Stepstones in a storm. Daeron was struck by the severest seasickness of his life. He kept vomiting and vomiting, unable to even hold down a glass of wine. He was about to vomit his guts out when the ship finally sailed past the treacherous water of the Stepstones. Three days later, the ship sailed into the Blackwater Bay.

King’s Landing was a strange place for Daeron. He had left the capital at the young age of four, so his memory of the city was unreliable, to say the least. He was more used to the sunny days of Old Town, when the golden sun met the white wall of the Citadel and the black marble of the Starry Sept. Old Town smelled of flowery delicacy, melons, moonbloom, nightshade, peaches and pomegranates. The long summer days were stiflingly hot, but when the night fell, the city came alive with markets, taverns and pleasure houses open well into the night. Old Town was a place where knowledge met religion, where tradition met foreign values, where restriction met decadence. One could find the holiest place as well as the most extravagant pleasure houses in the Southern part of the realm. Daeron was brought up in such a place of conflict. That was why he considered himself a man with strong beliefs in the Seven, but also a sinner of the most unspeakable crime.

Daeron could tell King’s Landing was different before he even set foot on its soil. For start, the smell was different. No flowery delicacy, only the pungent mix of fish, iron, foreign spices and human filth. He could see the Red Keep in the distance, its red walls half veiled by a thick fog, like an ominous eye of the evil. The harbor was even busier than that of Old Town. Workers were unloading the cargo from the trading ships, merchants rushing to the harbor office to get their paperwork gone, oyster girls sliding skillfully in the crowd with their salty snacks, and armed soldiers patrolling the area. This place was bustling with life.

Daeron gathered his suitcase and walked carefully down the deck. He tried his best to make himself presentable, but the result was not so satisfactory. Days of seasickness and sleep deprivation left him exhausted and weak, his skin so dull and his cheeks so sunken that he looked more like a skeleton than a man. He stink, too. Daeron wondered who would be so unlucky to welcome him back to King’s Landing.

Probably some servant. Or maybe Hel, if she insisted. Daeron’s sister was always the most adventurous one among his siblings, though she didn't look the part.

“Excuse me, sir, are you Daeron Targaryen by any chance?” A young man stopped him on his way to the harbor office.

“Yes.” Daeron replied, “And you are?”

“Uncle!” The young man laughed and gave Daeron a big hug before the blonde could realize what was happening, “It’s been so long since we last met! So nice to see you again!”

Daeron was taken aback by the young man’s sudden intimacy. For a second, he worried that the fishy smell on his clothes might disgust the young man. Then his attention was drawn to the word uncle. Was this young man one of his nephews? He was too old to be Jaehaerys or Maelor, obviously, so who did that leave? Jacaerys, Lucerys and Joffrey. Which one could he be?

“I am terribly sorry,” Daeron found his voice again after a long while, but he was still too shocked to hug the man back, “forgive me not for not recognizing you. It seems my memory isn’t as good as I think it is.”

The young man laughed and took half a step back. His arms were still loosely wrapped around Daeron’s torso, their face so close that Daeron could make out the small freckles adorning the man’s cheek. The man was slightly shorter than Daeron, with dark fluffy curls and darker eyes. Unlike Daeron, who was dressed in a formal suit even after a long journey at sea, the young man was wearing only a shirt and matching pants, with the top buttons undone to expose his beautiful collar bone and sun-kissed skin. Daeron’s eyes landed on the man’s lips, rosy and soft like the freshest petals, now curling up into a bright smile.

“No need to apologize, uncle. I won't blame you for not recognizing me. The last time we met, I was still a toddler.” The man chuckled, “Welcome back, uncle Daeron. I am Joffrey.”

Daeron barely reacted to the name because he was too caught up by how close Joffrey was. He could feel the heat from his dark-haired nephew, smell the faint cologne from Joffrey’s neck, and see the small beads of sweat hanging on Joffrey’s smooth forehead. Daeron went stiff all of a sudden, his palms began to sweat and his breathing quickened by nervousness. Joffrey was too close, too close for Daeron to remain sane.

“Uncle?” Joffrey tilted his head and called Daeron’s name again, “Uncle Daeron?”

“Oh! Sorry.” Daeron lowered his gaze immediately and struggled out of Joffrey’s arms, as if burned by the brunette’s skin, “Thank you for seeing me here, nephew. Forgive my rudeness. The sea journey must have messed up my head.”

“No problem.” Joffrey’s smile resumed, “I volunteered to pick you up, since I work at the harbor office, you know.”

Daeron wanted to ask what Joffrey’s job was, because he didn't believe the brunette’s outfit was appropriate for any job, let alone an office one. But he kept his mouth shut eventually. Maybe things were different here in King’s Landing.

“Besides,” Joffrey spoke, reaching out wrap his arm around Daeron’s shoulder again, “I am curious about you, uncle Daeron. I wonder what kind of a man you have become.”

Not as honorable as you might expect, Daeron thought. He let himself be led to the office to process his paperwork, while keeping his eyes on Joffrey’s snatched waist and cute butt.

“When will your betrothed join us, my dear?” Lady Alicent asked after Daeron had followed her into her private parlor for tea.

“Ellyn will stay with her family for the holiday, mother.” Daeron replied, his voice perfectly flat.

“She can join us for the holiday. I am sure King’s Landing has more to offer than Storm’s End.” Alicent said, stirring her tea after putting one scoop of sugar in it. She sat elegantly in her chair, back straight and shoulder squared, as if she was having tea with the royalty rather than her own son. Daeron couldn’t remember a time when his mother broke her perfect posture. No, Lady Alicent was the epitome of self-discipline.

“Her family is at Storm’s End, mother.” Daeron reminded her as gently as possible. Lady Alicent was a proper woman, but sometimes she just lacked the ability to empathize with others.

“I don’t see any sense for her to stay at that gloomy place any longer, since the wedding will take place in spring.” Alicent took a small bite of the jam filled sponge cake and then her tea, “Perhaps you should send her a letter and ask her to come here. I can't wait to meet my daughter-in-law.”

Daeron’s betrothal with Ellyn Baratheon was made solely by his mother. It was somewhat of a compensation for the failed betrothal of Daeron’s brother Aemond and Ellyn’s sister Floris. Lord Baratheon was furious when Aemond broke the marriage pact, but fortunately, Lady Alicent was able to persuade the old lord that their family still had the chance to form an alliance by the marriage of her youngest son and his lordship’s youngest daughter. Daeron only found out about his betrothal by a letter from the capital. He hadn't even met Ellyn Baratheon yet, only exchanged letters with the young lady. Daeron still felt detached to the matter, as if his mother was talking about someone else. He had to detach himself, or the fate would be too cruel to accept.

He always knew he would marry for the benefit of the family. His own feelings did not matter. Daeron had to spend the rest of his life with Ellyn Baratheon, whether he loved her or not.

No. Daeron was sure he would not love her, not in a romantic way, at least. He was incapable of loving a woman. His interest and affection always ended up on the same sex. He liked the angular features of men, the hard feeling of muscle under his hand, the musky breath, the smell of cologne and sweat, the beautiful body sculptured by the God.

Daeron couldn’t help but think of his nephew. Joffrey. Wild, handsome, and so full of life. Joffrey had occupied his dream ever since their meeting at the harbor. Daeron couldn’t stop thinking about how Joffrey’s smile seemed to brighten up the day, how warm Joffrey’s arm felt around his shoulder, and how beautiful Joffrey was.

Seven. He had sinned for having inappropriate thoughts about his nephew.

“Daeron? Are you listening, my dear?” Alicent’s voice snapped Daeron out of his train of thoughts.

“I am sorry, mother.” Daeron smiled awkwardly, “What were you saying?”

“I said, you should send a letter to invite your betrothed to King’s Landing.” Alicent put down her cup and leaned in to take Daeron’s hand into hers, “Are you okay, dear? You seem a little out of it today.”

“Thank you, mother. I am fine.” Daeron squeezed her hand gently, “Just tired.”

“Perhaps you should retire to your room early. I will tell the servants to prepare something for your sleep.” Alicent suggested, reaching her free hand for the bell.

Daeron nodded. He didn’t think some random concoction would help calm his mind, but he was desperate to be alone right now. He would agree to anything if it meant he could get away from his mother. He loved his mother, and he was sure she loved him back, to an acceptable extent at least, but sometimes her attitude was just suffocating. Lady Alicent would go extreme length to make sure all her children live a proper life, which meant accomplish things at appropriate age. Start studying no later than six, get involved in holy practices from eight, secure a proper marriage pact at eighteen, and marry before twenty. Such were the general rules of the society, and Lady Alicent believed an honorable member of the society needed to follow these rules.

Daeron went to the Sept frequently even though he never really understood the core of the Seven. He didn't object when his mother informed him in the letter that she had arranged a desirable marriage pact for him. Daeron guessed it was a show of love from his mother that she ever bothered to send a letter to him. All Daeron did was writing back to tell her that he trusted her wise judgment and thank her for the trouble.

It never mattered what Daeron wanted. He had lived his whole life like a puppet, doing everything his mother considered proper and beneficial to their family, so why stop now?

“Get some rest, my son.” Alicent planted a soft kiss on Daeron’s forehead before resuming her upright position, “Hopefully I will see you tomorrow morning at breakfast.”

“I will. Thank you, mother.” Daeron said, a strained smile on his face. He didn't know if his mother sensed his melancholy, but even if she did, she wouldn't ask about it anyway.

Daeron went straight back to his room located on the other wing of the mansion. The Red Keep was a magcificent place, having more than a dozen of bedrooms, a large ballroom, three lounges, two libraries, and numerous rooms for various entertainment purposes. There was a large kitchen on the ground floor, with spaces for servants and helpers. The Targaryen family had estates in other parts of the realm too, such as the Dragonstone mansion that Daeron’s half-sister and her family currently resided.

Not Joffrey though. Joffrey lived in Red Keep, in one of the guestrooms, since his work required him to stay in the capital. Lady Alicent begrudgingly invited the young man to live under her roof, because, again, it was considered a properly thing for a step grandmother to do.

Daeron was thinking about Joffrey’s bright smile when he bumped into the brunette right in front of his own room.

“Nephew?” Daeron gasped, his light violet eyes widened in surprise, “What are you doing outside my room?”

“Waiting for you, of course.” Joffrey flashed a smile, as bright as how Daeron remembered it, “You disappeared after dinner. I reckon I’d better wait here so I don’t miss you.”

“Do you need to discuss anything with me? Is it important?” Daeron took a step back, trying to stay a safe distance away from the brunette. Joffrey was like a house on fire; Daeron would be engulfed in flame if he stayed too close.

“I do have something I want to ask you.” Joffrey said, eyeing the closed door, “But it is best to discuss in private. Why don’t you ask me in, uncle?”

Daeron bit his lower lip and stayed silent for a long while. He was torn. On one hand, he was thrilled to invite Joffrey into his room, but on the other hand, he was scared to let others invade in his private space. Daeron had always been a private person. He had to, because he had so much to hide. He had to stay behind closed door, because he couldn't afford to expose his dirtiest secret to anyone. He risked losing everything.

Joffrey leaned against the wall and waited patiently for Daeron to give his answer. He still had a faint smile on his face, but his dark eyes contained something Daeron could not decipher. Was it guilt? What was Joffrey guilty of?

“We don't have all night, uncle.” Joffrey reminded him in a whisper.

A maid appeared around the corner with a tray in her hands, interrupting the heavy silence.

“Oh! Good evening, Sirs.” She bowed her head at two young gentlemen, “Lady Alicent sent me to bring you the sleep drop, Lord Daeron.”

“Right.” Daeron murmured under his breath, taking the tray from her, “You can go. I will take it from here.”

“But sir-”

“I said go.” Daeron’s voice came out harsher than he intended, “Please, I can take care of myself.”

The maid curtseyed and fled the scene. Even she could feel the tension between the two young lords, so instinct told her to leave before she witnessed anything she shouldn’t.

“Have trouble sleeping, uncle?” Joffrey asked after making sure the maid had already gone, “Perhaps I should go. Sorry to bother you.”

“NO!” Daeron balanced the tray on his left forearm and used his right hand to grab Joffrey’s shoulder, “Don't go. Don't you have things to discuss with me? Come inside.”

Joffrey half turned and lifted his eyes to observe Daeron closely. Joffrey’s eyes were like a bottomless pool of pure darkness, so glassy and so beautiful that Daeron could see his own reflection on them. Daeron didn't know what Joffrey was looking for, but apparently the brunette found the result he needed.

“Okay.” Joffrey whispered, blinking, “If you insist.”

“I do.” Daeron confirmed. For some reason, he had never been more confident of his decisions like he was now. He had no idea what would happen next, but he was damn sure if he let Joffrey go now, he would regret for the rest of his life.

Daeron’s bedroom was a comfortable suite with a four-post bed and a study desk. The hearth was burning quietly, providing much needed warmth. There were a pair of armchairs and a small table in front of the fire. Daeron put the tray down on the table before gesturing Joffrey to take a seat in one of the armchairs.

“What is that you want to discuss?” Daeron asked after sitting down on the oppose chair.

“How do you find King’s Landing so far, uncle?” Joffrey asked, turning his head from the hearth to look at Daeron, his face painted a lovely yellow by the fire.

“Pleasant. I am glad to be back.” Daeron replied before he could really understand the question. He had practiced the answer in his mind for so many times in case someone asked him about it.

“Honestly, I don't believe you, uncle.” Joffrey said, “If it’s truly the case, you won't need sleep drops to help you rest. So I am going to ask you again. How do you find King’s Landing?”

Daeron’s heart skipped a beat. No one had ever seen through his practiced lie before, not in his face, anyway. How could Joffrey expose his lie to his face so easily?

“…Tolerable.” Daeron answered with a helpless sigh. He hadn’t really thought about his feelings towards the city he was supposed to call home, so tolerable was the best he could come up with right now.

“I won't blame you. According to my knowledge, King’s Landing is quite different from anywhere else in the realm. I feel like an outsider when I am visiting Dragonstone, too, you know. Like, everything is quieter there.” Joffrey shrugged, “The sky is clearer and people are, let’s say, more content with their lives.”

“But you like it more here.” Daeron said.

“Yes.” Joffrey nodded, never one to hide his thoughts, “Hard to believe, isn't it? King’s Landing is like a melting pot of all sorts of people having their own agendas. I am used to reaching for my pocket whenever someone bumps into me on the street. Besides, the city smells like shit too.”

Daeron chuckled. What Joffrey had just described was absolutely true. He was intrigued by how eloquent Joffrey could be, and the way the brunette vividly described the city genuinely impressed him. Joffrey Velaryon was truly an interesting character. His very presence was the reason why the capital was tolerable to Daeron. If not for Joffrey, King’s Landing would just be a filthy place drowned by shit and industrial waste.

“Again, despite all the things you say, you like King’s Landing.” Daeron pointed out, finally relaxing in his chair. He had grown the habit of staying upright like his mother all the time, to keep the family’s honor, but here, in the privacy of his room and with Joffrey, Daeron slowly let his guard down. It was impossible not to be influenced by Joffrey’s easygoing demeanor.

“I do. I find the people interesting. All the different values, ambitions, desires, and culture. Just fascinating.” Joffrey rested his chin in his hand, “I have learned a lot here, but there is so much more to explore still. Currently, my biggest interest is you, uncle.”

Daeron almost choked on his own spit. No, he told himself, Joffrey didn't mean it like that. His nephew was probably curious about his sudden return to the capital. Nothing more. Stop acting like an awkward boy.

“I am afraid you will be disappointed, nephew. I am a simple man, you see. I don't have much to interest you.” Daeron said, clasping his hands together to stop them from fidgeting.

“I understand that you are coming back to get married.” Joffrey spoke, his voice almost drowned out by the crackling fire, “Lady Ellyn from House Baratheon, right? I have met her in a ball once. Pretty lady, the most agreeable among her sisters, I would say.”

“I haven’t met her yet.” Daeron admitted. He probably shouldn't reveal this to Joffrey, but somehow, Joffrey had the ability to dig the honest side out from people.

“Oh,” Joffrey said, a bit surprised, “I see.”

“My mother arranged the marriage for me. Lord Baratheon is a longtime business partner of the family, so marrying will strengthen the bond between our house and House Baratheon.” Daeron said, clasping his hands so hard that his knuckles turned white.

“How can you know your feelings for Lady Ellyn if you haven't met her yet?” Joffrey asked, genuinely confused, “What if you don't like her? What if she doesn't like you? How are you supposed to spend the rest of your lives together if you don't having feelings for each other?”

“Marriage isn't about feelings.” Daeron said, more like a reminder to himself than to Joffrey.

“Fuck that.” Joffrey hissed, “Who makes you believe in such nonsense? Feelings are the foundation of a happy marriage.”

“Is that why you haven't been betrothed yet?” Daeron blurted out before he could stop himself, “Haven’t found anyone you like?”

Joffrey pursed his lips together and went silent. Daeron’s question might sound a bit intruding, but it was not an offensive one. Why did Joffrey choose to stay silent now?

“Joffrey?” Daeron called the brunette’s name, “It’s okay if you don't want to answer. I am sorry. I didn't mean to pry.”

“There is someone I like.” Joffrey interrupted Daeron’s babbling, “But that person is not marriage material.”

“Why? You never know unless you try. Is the lady of low birth?”

Joffrey laughed, before whispering eventually.

“There is no lady to begin with.”

“What do you mean? You did say you have feelings for someone.” Daeron frowned, not quite sure where this conversation was going, “How come there is no lady...”

Daeron trailed off, as realization struck him like lightening. Could it be? But how? What was the odds of Joffrey sharing the same sinful thoughts with him?

“I’ve never liked women, not in a romantic way.” Joffrey spoke, his voice low but firm, “My feelings are always towards the same sex.”

“Stop it,” Daeron hissed, looking down, his voice trembling, “stop it, Joffrey.”

Daeron saw a pair of boots stopping before him, as Joffrey had gotten up from the armchair and walked to Daeron’s side. Joffrey stood so close that their knees almost touched.

“Why?” Joffrey’s voice came from above, “I am just being honest. Honesty is a virtue, uncle.”

Now Daeron could smell Joffrey’s cologne, and the faint trace of brandy.

“You are drunk, nephew. You are not thinking straight.” Daeron said, trying his best to keep his voice flat, “I will let your words slip this time.”

“I can't be more sober than I am now.” Joffrey put his hands on Daeron’s shoulder and pushed gently, forcing the blonde to lean on the chair as he straddled his uncle, “I like men. I’ve always liked men, and I like you.”

“You don't know what you are talking about.” Daeron murmured, but he didn't push Joffrey away. He couldn't. He was paralyzed by the brunette’s closeness.

“You are interested in me as well, aren’t you?” Joffrey grabbed Daeron’s hand and led it to his own chest, “You couldn’t stop checking me out as soon as we met at the harbor.”

Joffrey’s skin was scorching hot against Daeron’s own, and Daeron could feel the other man’s racing heart against his palm.

“You can feel me if you like.” Joffrey whispered, guiding Daeron’s hand down from his chest to his stomach, then further down to his navel, his lower abdomen, and finally his groin.

Daeron shivered as his hand touched something hard and twitching over Joffrey’s pants. He had never touched another man’s cock before, but he could tell Joffrey was already well aroused from the wetness of the fabric. Daeron swallowed, too fascinated to pull his hand back.

“Admit it, uncle,” Joffrey began to grind on Daeron’s lap, “you want me. Stop lying to yourself.”

“I am getting married,” Daeron managed lamely, “I can't-”

“Then push me away.” Joffrey wrapped his arms around Daeron’s neck to balance himself as he kept grinding, “Push me away and say you don't want me. I will never bother you again.”

Daeron should push him away. He really should, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. The Seven always taught him to be tough in face of temptation, but Daeron was weak. Years of attending sept did nothing to help him now, as he was easily led astray by this beautiful young man, who happened to be his nephew.

This was so wrong. Wrong in every level.

“Stop lying to yourself, uncle.” Joffrey whispered in Daeron’s ear before taking the blonde’s earlobe between his teeth and nibbled gently.

Daeron squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. He was the one who couldn't think straight now. He had always been standing on the edge of the abyss, and Joffrey was the push he needed to throw himself off the cliff.

“Call my name.” Daeron said, burying his face into Joffrey’s neck and bit down hard.

“Daeron.”

Daeron’s whole body sang at Joffrey’s words. He didn't know what ecstasy was, but this was close enough.

#house of the dragon #hotd #joffron #my asks #joffrey velaryon #daeron x joffrey #daeron the daring #light angst

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