ASDSGFDSGDF finally had time to watch the new mlb eps,,,, AND

So yes I have OF COURSE read @naffeclipse new fic Apex Polarity and yes, I AM OBSESSED!

So I decided to make a little comic of how I think their "first encounter" might have looked like from Eclipse's perspective.

I can't help but think about how alien and scary we most look to him (especially if there is a history of fasco hunting polar sirens in the past). With all that gear we look like emotionless beings, just observing and uncaring of this ice world. But then when y/n shows up and probably exudes this joy and wonder for his world + shows respect for the creatures and the environment??? Mmh yeah, I can see Eclipse falling for y/n, especially considering how alone he might be...

So yes, that's what I have for today! If you want to read the fic I'll link it right here. I can't recommend it enough, but as always, read the tags so you know what you're getting into! And lastly I also want to @themeeplord beacuse Eclipse's design is basically their design in my style (god I love their design so much, their character/creature designs are the BEST) so all the credit goes to them! Polar!Y/N is my design thou! ;P

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go read the two latest chapters-

YIPPEE!!!

get normaled, idiot

o wait i was in a zine,,, is it zine like magazine📗 or zine like vine🌿? anyways @bloodlineszine

i am so glad theres someone else who also thinks lmk executes its ideas and themes much better than toh. rip belos you will never be lady bone demon

TOH wasn't that strong in the themeing department in general (though I'm not well-versed in that show). I remember finishing the finale and being like....damn. What was the overall message of this show? ("Weirdos stick together" maybe?) Does toh have any consistent motifs or symbolism? If memory serves, not really?

Like, you rewatch episode 1x01 of LMK and MK goes "Well...I am invincible. *sigh* Anytime I try to do anything, I just gunk everything up!", and you're like. Woah. The Sun Wukong parallels are that strong from episode 1x01? Invincibility/Immortality and hurting the people you care about? No matter what you do, it leading to pain? Holy shit.

Contrast that with TOH where it's like, in episode 1x02 Luz learns she's not "the chosen one" and that the boiling isles are very different from the magical realms she imagined...which is kinda undone by the reveal that the Titan chose to show Luz the Glyphs. And while Titan Luz is very fun, it's not thematically sound—which is just kinda that whole show, you know? If you're not thinking about it that deep, then it's like "holy shit cool concept!" (which is totally valid of people), but if you do it's pretty empty. (Hi Hunter getting flapjack-based teleportation powers. What was the point of this.)

Which, I think this becomes super apparent with the Luz and Belos foil. Luz and Belos had a lot of interesting parallels (both of them being humans in the isles, each coming there wanting to fulfill a certain "role", for Luz being the "Great Witch Azura" and for Belos/Philip being a "Witch Hunter General", the whole "protecting the things you love" deal). And then, where does this all go?

It leads to Luz being told "no. You're the good guy and Belos is the bad guy! You could never be the same! Belos is motivated by his own 'need to be the hero'" (which was definitely what Luz was motivated by over the course of the show, even if it was more innocent, but whatever), and riding off of tdp s4's "In the name of love, you will do things so dangerous and vile—you will never be able to forgive yourself" and the lmk s3's "to pain" scene, it fell really flat for me—like it's not bad, it's just really mid.

(Post where I go on a rant about Luz's s3 arc being kinda lame)

And then, you have the LBD & MK foil. You have MK's s4 arc. The "to pain" scene is such a unique "you and I are not so different" moment—but it's also relevant to the whole show. And LBD is right, doing what you think is right does lead to pain. Like, even looking at MK's journey over the seasons, every action has had it's consequences.

Saving Pigsy and Tang in 1x04? Spider Queen snagged MK's hair and that let her dominate the city later. Stopping DBK in 1x10? That freed LBD. Stopping SQ in ROTSQ? That gave LBD access to the trigram furnace. MK trying to gain more power in s2? Well, "Now do you understand? From the start you never had what it took to defeat me. All your power could do was make me stronger." SWK leaving in s2? "You're the one always running off, trying to get more power or more sources of immortality." Trying to get the Samadhi fire in s3? Opps, now Mei has this uncontrollable flame within her. Monkey King running off to fight LBD alone so MK doesn't have to? He get's possessed. Freeing SWK from possession? Now LBD has the power to fulfill destiny. Attempting to free your friends from the scroll? Now Peng and Azure are also free. Trying to get SWK back? His scroll piece has been split in half. Stopping Azure from destroying all of reality? Now the Jade Emperor's power is without a host, flower fruit mountain is destroyed, and you can't help but feel they played into the puppet master's hands.

It's thematically consistent and banging. Like....anytime they try to do anything, they just gunk everything up. Like....sometimes you hurt the people who care about you the most. Like....whether you want to help people or not, everything you do can just make things worse.

AND MAYBE. Just maybe, you can also leave the world a little better than you found it. The pain that's been caused doesn't undo the good that's been done. And I guess I think that's more interesting that just like..."no! you're intent was good and theirs was bad!", you know?

I feel like such a broken fucking person lol

I talked way too much in the tags don't read them

i wonder why the game devs made the decision to give life orbs to some of the pkmn on N's season battle teams. that just seems like...jarringly out-of-character.

love how i could give jensen and bryce a happily ever after. love how i refuse to do it anyway

making rnm pinterest boards n made one for the longfic idea n having visions

For the number thingy: 489 !

"I was lenient. I bought you time, I gave you comfort, and yet you spend your days moping? Did you never expect our Master to use you? Did you not even think to try keeping yourself in shape, to explore your new body and learn to use it to your advantage?"

(and because I also got asked for 32: Link wandered the halls aimlessly, no purpose but no desire to return to his pathetic room. At least the castle provided some enrichment, no turn exactly the same, never knowing what he would find around the corner (mostly more hallway).)

I'm finally taking a fucking vacation from my job next week

i get the vibe w heris that if promare had been a series she wouldve had much more character complexity not bcuz they wanted to ‘redeem’ her (so i dont mean complexity in that sort of way) but bcuz trigger likes fucking around w writing characters whose sense of morality is based around like a specific other character or situation or whatever. like karre not caring abt the empires war crimes or whatever the fuck the bad ppl r called in star wars, he wants to get am out bcuz he doesnt want his sister to die. so like maybe trigger had their own ideas abt her specific relationships n morals n shit but its not something they rly explored in their 2 hour first time tryingto fit shit in2 movie pacing movie

ok! thread tracker from 49 -> 17

what got dropped is really anything prior to november/december, stagnated interactions (i.e: idk where to go w/ the thread or i just dont have muse for it), anything i can't find, or, in the case of ppl i have multiple multipara threads with, i simply chose my favorite/most impactful ones to track

my updated tracked threads can be found here

due to the notification issues with tumblr, it did tamper with the tracker so unfortunately you will not be able to click through to the threads themselves atm, but feel free to dm me to request the link to our thread(s)... idk when this will be fixed so im just using the tracker list basically to remember exactly who my active threads are with atm so i know which urls to filter through in my tags

if there is an unlisted thread you desperately would prefer to continue, please link me to the thread in question and i'll let you know if i'm capable of continuing it.

there is a chance there are other threads i may have wanted to continue, but i intentionally tried to limit myself to keeping 2 threads per character (meaning 2 threads per muse not blog, in the case of multimuses)

I've gone a little deeper about Emily's past in my fic 'Unrequited' and 'As It Was'. I'm just obsessed with her character and the backstory both she and Hotch have. And I just finish reading the little backstory you did about Emily and I loved it!!

i’m really not much of a jemily fan (partly because i think fanon characterizations of jj are completely delusional, partly because i think fanon characterizations of emily are beyond insulting, and mostly because i cannot fucking fathom what anyone could possibly like about jj), but i went ahead and read those two pieces because i figured you came into my inbox already knowing that. it’s just… not how i see either of those characters. not even necessarily the shipping aspect, even ignoring my reservations about jj, but because of the way i think emily approaches relationships

this sounds hypocritical after writing about emily + family, but i feel like emily doesn’t really care about her biological family anymore. at least i’d like to. i’d like to think she’s accepted that she’ll never be what her mother wants and that she’ll never get what she wants from her mother. she’s 36 when she joins the bau—surely that’s enough time to realize she can’t hold onto those childish fantasies anymore. not that i disagree with what i wrote, i just think it's given her a complex ab family rather than it actually being something she truly craves. it was a setup for her life: she wasn't meant to be with others, which is something she eventually tries to change about herself

i’m a big fan of low-empathy emily, so i feel like she has to put active effort into caring about relationships. as a child raised by an extremely distant parent, she probably chalked it up to never having connections growing up, so she never learned how to make connections in the future. it’s easier to assume she’s broken, and it’s easier to blame her mom for it

but really, i don’t think there’s anything wrong with her, she’s just different. at some point i think she had to wrestle with that: it’s hard to think she fell into the job best suited for her personality just by coincidence. being a spy requires that cold, calculating observation and analysis of relationship dynamics. she can view things objectively because she isn’t naturally inclined to get emotionally attached. she can witness unfathomable horrors without a flinch—things that would rock jj to her core, things that would perturb the unflappable hotch. she knows she’s better equipped to handle those types of experiences because having empathy was never really a priority. (it's part of why i think she was the only one who could've walked through hotch's apartment that day: she wouldn't get distracted)  

that being said, i don’t think connections are impossible for her. the bau proves that, declan proves that. but i think that was a conscious choice on her part: she had seen enough—caused enough—pain and grief to realize that she should feel guilty for it. so i think she wakes up every day and decides to care. she decides to be a good person. eventually she confronts that she's tired of living a life she doesn't feel like she could be proud of

she’s not heartless, by any means. she just doesn’t become emotionally involved until she comes to the logical conclusion to do so. she has a soft spot for kids because they haven’t had a chance to truly know themselves and the world they live in. she loves the team because of how deeply connected they are to each other. so, when push comes to shove, she’s always willing to leave if it means keeping them together. it’s easy to make that choice because she loves them: in season 3 when the choice is between her and hotch and she knows hotch’s loss will devastate them; in season 6 when she’s making them potential targets for doyle’s vendetta; in season 7 when she feels the tension that never quite settled upon her return. i don’t know if any of the others would’ve made those decisions as easily, even if it was the best choice for them as a whole. not even hotch, who is terrified that his proximity is enough to hurt people he cares about. she’s detached in a way that can separate her from others, but she’s able to turn that into her strength: whether that means manipulating her way into terrorist organizations or walking away from the only chance at a family she's ever had just to keep them safe

i have my bits and pieces of evidence for it that i can scrounge into a semi-believable character analysis, but ultimately i think it’s so i can enjoy more of her character without getting irked by aspects of the archetypes she could fit that would typically annoy me. i’d like to think she’s above some of that: she’s too cool to have mommy issues, too badass to spend years pining over relationships, too self assured to be insecure about her decisions, too smart to let anyone see through her. 

i say all this as a hotch fan, who has traits very similar to these. but it suits him. it makes him more interesting, to know that there’s a vulnerability behind his stoic appearance. but with emily i think it’s far more admirable for her to choose to suffer because she wants to care. minimal loss is the perfect example of that: she makes the logical choice to put herself at risk because she wants to protect reid. she’s not running away from who she is anymore, and she’s not really fighting it either. she chooses to be a good person, not out of guilt or even love, but because it’s something she values. 

for me, emily is the cool brooding hero who could be a villain so easily. maybe, in an earlier time in her life, she was. but she’s done being selfish. she’s willing to make sacrifices for others because she decided that living by a code is better than living for nothing at all, even if it causes her pain. guilt and love—two burning sensations that were so opposite yet so intrinsically linked—were burdens she chose to bear so she wouldn’t feel so hollow anymore. and it does cause her pain. so, so much pain. to me, it makes her endlessly more fascinating. i’d rather her be a knife that dulls its edges than something soft chiseled to a jagged point. 

update: im gonna be on extended hiatus for a while!

i apologize for the person i become when it's that time of the month